#almost three am thoughts
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Alright alright I'm going to sleep.
There BETTER BE footage of the exit-hug/kiss when I wake up.
Also I'm not getting over the wording in those father's (I'm sorry - daddy's) day wishes.
While I sleep imma also need one of you different-time-zone people to figure out who he was pointing to after announcing Star Treatment (just crew? Random audience people? Someone... Else? 🧐). For very important research reasons.
I'm counting on you.
That is all.
Sweet dreams to some. Good luck to others 💕
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
#disability#disability pride month#chronic fatigue#fibromyalgia#cfs/me#post exertional malaise#like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three#i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it#and my right leg has seized up#my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly#also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral#in summary#stop being fucking dense#i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker#or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it#also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by
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I love your take on Crowley!
I know that the early, non-Diasomnia stories aren't really your thing, but are you reading the novels at all?
I have been following some of the fan translations and the second book seems intense! Would love to hear what you think about them.
thank you! 💚💚💚 I'm not really sure why you think I don't like the earlier arcs though, I love pretty much all the characters and their storis! (I think 5 and 1 are my favorite of the past episodes, though 6 infected me with the Shroud brainrot something fierce.) I just...ESPECIALLY love diasomnia. :') but there is room in my heart for all of these dweebs! like, who among us is not just as ride-or-die for Adeuce as they are for us.
that said, I don't really follow the other adaptations like the manga (aside from a dip-in just to see the new Yuus) or the novels, though I keep meaning to check them out! I do like seeing the differences between the different forms of media, and how certain things get adapted one way or another! but alas, time/a lack of accessibility stands in our way more often than not. :( someday...someday I will have time to consume all of the media...
#art#twisted wonderland#i have been playing this game since the day it came out#and believe me i could not have stuck with it for the past three and a half years if i was not deep into all of these idiots#not to harp on it but i do think it's funny because i actually. really did not like the diasomnias at first.#it was like a month before their cards/personal stories were added and so we knew almost NOTHING about them#the website descriptions basically make everyone sound awful#so i thought they were kind of mean/boring compared to everyone else!#(except maybe lilia but i was mad at him for the two seconds of 'girl? 👀' hope i had when they were revealed)#but once their cards came out i fell just as hard for them as i did the rest of this silly game#well. sebek took a little longer. but his ketchup incident converted me.#anyway i have so much sentimentality for episode 1 especially#the prologue was like 'oh this is actually a very silly game! oh there is a plot!'#episode 1 was like 'oh i LIKE these characters and what they're doing with them'#(i think ace punching riddle was the moment i decided i REALLY liked this game) (sorry riddle) (you were being a huge dick though)#also...ink drips. ink drips everywhere.#look when i say this game is laser-focused at me and my tastes specifically i am not kidding
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anyway to end the series on ganondorf tp's writing, my take (which isn't canon but arguable as a valid "death of the author" read imo) is that he is at his most iredeemable AND that's because he has zero things left to lose and no community left and his goal doesn't even make sense anymore he is parasitic and a ghost and pathologically obsessed by his own godlike legitimacy because that is the only thing he still has and it has prolonged his life in a horrible diminished state in a nightmare dimension so SURELY it must mean something right right RIGHT
#thoughts#twilight princess#tp#tp ganondorf#ganondorf#sorry I am quite frustrated by the Discourse#there is a middle ground between evil bad evil bad and uwu baby!!!!!!! and it's the most interesting reading!!!! aaaaaa#even him not mentioning the gerudos being immediately taken as him not caring about them is veeeery frustrating to me#like#imo the three arguable arguments about what happened to the gerudos are#1) they left hyrule because fuck that shit (real and valid) and he would have felt betrayed#2) they collaborated with hyrule to subdue him (??? that seems weird to me but sure why not) and he would have felt BETRAYED#3) they were genocided because they stood by him#and of course we could assume he doesn't care (even if he drapes his execution sword in gerudo patternings which)#(not gonna lie is probably artists not really paying attention to motives but it's still interesting and noticeable)#but wouldn't that be like. deeply traumatic either way.#would you talk about your people to the enemies you hate. would you remind them of what they took from you#in ww they are children and he is old and had time to reflect#in tp he suffered nonstop and then rejected all connection and all community and is feverishly obsessed by what almost was#and they are not children there is no generational thing happening they are all royalties (and link!!! hi link!!) the beef is genuine#and EVEN IF he doesn't care that would at least be a massive wound to his ego#he had an ego collapse followed by a massive ego surge that's literally his canon character arc#so of course he would be weird about the gerudos!! how could he not be weird about the gerudos!!#again we are always assuming lack of interiority by default for ganondorf and that annoys meeeeeee#especially when there could be unbelievably interesting and tragic interpretations from what we get
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MULTIPLE people thought I was australian on that poll.... head in hands
#I LOVE AUSSIES. I HAVE MANY AUSTRALIAN FRIENDS WHO ARE WONDERFUL. AUSTRALIA IS VERY COOL#however. oh my god. as a kiwi. our country gets left off MAPS dude. there are people out there who don't even believe new zealand EXISTS#I've had people thinking I was australian for YEARS without asking me. I LITERALLY WEAR SHIRTS THAT SAY 'AOTEAROA NZ' ON THEM#I HAVE THREE. THREE SHIRTS LIKE THAT. THRRREEE.#its just so funny. I've had a classmate go 'only an australian would bring a lizard into the common room haha'#almost sicced the lizard at him there and then#had to look him in the eyes and say. I'm from new zealand#and he was all HUUH??? WAIT WHAAAT?????? . MOTHER FUCKER YOU ARE IN MY ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES CLASS???#WHERE I TALK ABOUT NZ AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY???#OUR TEACHER WOULD LITERALLY REFERENCE ME WHENEVER NZ WAS BROUGHT UP???#SORRY ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME. I can't escape the 'oh I thought you were australian' curse#it follows me everywhere. no escape#my lovely aussie friends whom I cherish deeply. does this ever happen to you but the other way around#listen to my gibberish boy#gonna change my blog to make it very clear that I am from new zealand <- guy who is very very passionate about being kiwi
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Propaganda
Kristoph Gavin
He got so mad that his client chose a different defence attorney after playing a game of poker with him that he sabotaged the new attorney's entire career, poisoned two others, then seven years later, killed the client. That's a very brief summary and over simplification, but after the whole case is unraveled he also calls common citizens "mindless, emotional, irrational mouth-breathers" and says "There is only room for two in this court: me, and the law! Keep the riff-raff out! Out, I say!" when he learns that the case is being used as a test of the jury system so uh.... yeah i think he might have a sense of superiority lol
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Sebastian Debeste
hes literally debeste prosecutor. also childhood trauma
#tbh the gavin brothers are just the narc brothers to me they're both soooooooo npd#the only difference is that klav is actually dealing with it in a healthy way#kristoph is absolutely not#i almost added klav too but thought three aa characters might be too much#maybe i'll do an extra side poll if anyone's interested#what am I saying? I'm gonna do a side poll later today anyways lmao#kristoph gavin#sebastian debeste#eustace winner#< can I just say that his official name sucks? I know this isn't a new opinion but i am never calling him eustace lmao#i haven't even played investigations 2 yet lol#anyways there's my aa rambles over lol#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#npd#polls
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okay at last……..jeffrey photos from the other night :-) (september 7th in indianapolis)
WELL what can i say. it still feels a little surreal that this has happened bc i waited soOoOoOoOo long. so long!! like not only since getting tickets but also since 2019 <3 i know i'm the most biased person ever in this regard but if u have the opportunity to go and any degree of interest whatsoever You Just Have To. it was so good (and definitely some fun changes from the previous tour)!! the stage is soooooooooo cool looking and most importantly vocals in particular were REALLY exquisite this time :-)
anyway when i got these seats for some reason they looked way less good and i thought being able to see would be a problem?? like they seemed far back (by floor standards) and were not even freakishly expensive. when we were led to our seats i started freaking out immediately bc i just had no idea.......so THAT was exciting as well. i feel like the pictures make it look further away than it was but omg......it was amazing. anyway 10/10 event overall
#some of these are very similar to each other i know but. shhhhhhhh#jeff lynne#electric light orchestra#elo#me being the insane specimen that i am i am already like…….getting sad about this sdjsjsjk. and i still have more coming#anyway i enjoyed hearing him talk a little :-) i wish he talked more but i understand ofc. it’s just that. well#i wont be satisfied until i figure out how to get him to move next door to me and come talk to me every day in exchange for baked goods#also the way everyone starts freaking out and screaming every time he says anything which i 100000% understand but Please Let Me Hear Him.#anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. he is so cute. jeffrey marry me challenge it is litcherally never too late#the only complaint i had about the whole thing was whatever weird smell was in the whole entire venue. wtf was that#it was like#beer + pickles + old lady perfume + bath and body works pumpkin lotion#grotesque <333#ALSO the fact that we were so bizarrely tightly packed i almost got knocked over by the ppl beside me like three times#and they weren't even doing anything crazy#okay That is enough tagging but rest assured my thoughts on the matter are infinite
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me vs eternal grudges abt d20 captions
#aspen tag#maybe i just need to start watching the backlog without them on tbh#bc every time i run into a godawful error. of which there is no shortage of. i get so frustrated i literally have to stop watching#and like. idk. the new form system is. i know there's probably practical benefits#but from where i am sitting it's just like. additional barriers. more steps. more energy#i watched the new dirty laundry earlier today. with the lightning flashing effect at the beginning#and i checked the desc to see if there was any sort of warnings on the vid and there was nothing#and i thought about pulling up the feedback form to say smth and i just felt tired#and like. idk if any of u were ever active in the discord's caption corrections channel before it shut down#i joined the dropout server for it. i was in there exclusively for it. bc they got on my nerves so bad and i couldn't just do nothing#you could look up a particular line and find reports of it going back months and months#and i get that it was probably not easily indexable. but w/ the way older d20 episodes are#it was a fucking blessing to be able to submit them in bulk. instead of submitting a form for each one individually like u have to now#bc they're like. every 30 seconds. you're lucky if you go a couple minutes without smth almost unparseable#and when there'd be things like unlabeled flashing. or the gore bear. and u start writing up a message on the discord#it's like. there's a sense of people. someone's reading. someone's seeing it. even in just the reacts. y'know#and like. they have retroactive caption editors to clean up the old stuff as of 2024#but i'm four minutes into tuc episode 2. their third season ever. second episode. four minutes in#and zac says “it's a concentration” and the captions read “white's a constant station”#and i just ..... i guess i find it hard to feel like there's work being done. or like it's a priority#i. me personally. sent messages in the feedback channel about jokes in the captions on at least five or six seperate occasions#and i know there were other people speaking up about it too. over months and months#and the past... however many seasons it's been since burrow's end. have been a little better. but it's like....#it took so long to see any change. and those older ones are going to stay in until the retroactive editors catch all the way up#and people are still going to laugh at them and post about them and not think past their own amusement at them#and it's not that big of a deal but it does like. detract from how much i am able to enjoy d20#and like. i've been watching for three years. i never shut up about it. it's not like i don't like what they make#but between all of this and the way they handled palestine on the discord. i'm just finding it harder to trust in dropout#idk. idk. it's not a big thing. but it simmers in the back of my mind a lot. i don't rlly think it's going to change anytime soon#so i guess this is just putting it somewhere so it doesn't have to sit in my head all the time. um. yeah 👍
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i could be convinced that it's acceptable for one person to use all of the washers in the communal laundry room at the same time. i wouldn't do it myself, but i don't know your life, maybe that is really making a difference to you. but i do hold that if you do that, you absolutely must set a timer and come back within let's say five minutes of the washers finishing, to switch your laundry to the dryers, thus freeing up the washers (all of them, which you are using at the same time) for one of the dozens of other people with whom you share the use of these appliances. i really feel like that is not asking that much? like you can leave your clothes in the washer half an hour after the load finishes, I GUESS (but again! how is this not rude!), but only if there are other open washers?? did you miss the 60% of kindergarten that is about sharing. what's not clickingggg
#half an hour isn't that long but come on people#like i have just been sitting in a part of my apt where i can see if people are going to the laundry room. so that i could be alerted#as soon as one of the washers opens up. because i know from experience that people don't move their laundry on time#and i don't really feel like going down and checking every ten minutes#and i just wanted to get my laundry done before six because i have something to do at six#i started at three and i'm not sure if i will be done! which is ridiculous#wow i need to take a chill pill and be more patient lol but it is so frustrating to know that no matter how thoughtful i am#about not inconveniencing other people in this way. they will not return the favor#okayyyy i am being a baby it's not like this happens all the time so probably almost everyone is being thoughtful. deep breath time
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Another mini update because I think I deserve to talk about this:
I am changing game plans! I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but... The shell stitch is such a yarn eater. I have four rows of shells, but you actually don't see that there are about eight rows in this because there are intermittently small ones to set up the space for all the shells. These four rows have basically eaten up ninety percent of my skein of 210 yards (192 meters). My question is: should I make one more shell stitch row before transitioning into double crochet, or is four sufficient?
My new plan now is something like this: shell stitch four rows, double crochet until I reach the center of the tallit. The middle will be a few more rows of shells, then back to double crochet until I make it to the other side. I genuinely can't think of a worse idea that thirty-three inches (eighty-four centimeters) of solid white in shell stitch.
(Do note that my camera has completely altered the colors. It does this automatically and I hate it so much. These colors are so much richer and more interesting than how this camera decided to mess with it)
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#tallit#personal thoughts tag#shalom crafts#long post#i am unironically trying*not* to be upset about how my phone's camera ALWAYS edits the colors of photos in such an ugly way#it's so... washed out and sad. a photo is supposed to look BETTER than how real life does#i think what upsets me about this is that this is my art that i have spent months on and the colors are super important to me#ANYWAY. i've been stagnant with this project partially because i didn't want to do shell stitch for thirty-three inches straight#while crochet is faster than knit at almost everything... it's still slow-going#i know it can sound pretentious to be like 'this is ~MY ART~'#but honestly i think you need to learn to develop a bit of an ego when you're an artist to counteract the imposter syndrome and stagnation#because i wouldn't have done the shell stitch if i didn't have the ego to be like 'if i cant do it the way i want it can just be ripped out#and me saying i think i deserve to talk about this is because i really like this craft and i've been working kind of sort of hard on it!!!#i think other crocheters know the sheer headache it is to work something this size (51 inches by 71 inches will be the final size)
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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For MoS Au - how powerful is each empire individually and then each alliance?
Bc I understand if Fwip and Sausage r messing with Jimmy as one ruler but he has the Ocean Alliance? And from what you’ve said it seems like those kingdoms r powerhouses? Especially Lizzie and the Ocean Empire bc they seem to be good at the whole war/conquering stuffs.
Just wondering if there’s something i’m missing or if Fwip and Sausage r just unaware of that.
So I typed out a whole answer to this and then realized that a lot of it is going to be covered in the first actual fic of the series which, in a bit of good news, I'm in the process of editing the first chapter and it will be posted before the new year. (EDIT: probably not before the new year but very, very soon after)
That being said, I've saved the answer I typed, after you've read the first chapter, come back here and ask follow up questions and I can use that to answer them. Does that sound good?
(I can also just post the response if you would rather)
#ask and it shall be answered#idontevenknowhowtolife#marriage of state au#also yes surprise!#actual fic is imminent!#im so excited its been almost ayear#also the short answer is that the ocean empire is made of immortal powerhouses#but the wra has pearl and gem#which explains very little i am aware#also it would likely splinter into three factions instead of two#I have thought about this a lot over the past year 😭
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alr someone please listen to me. please. i ahve been going insane abt these fucking parallels since exile was happening
ok. so
ghostbur @ ctommy during the exile arc. let me explain
i dont think i have to explain this part actually
conflating his isolation while he was alive in pogtopia w tommys current predicament
:(
classic line = Lads On Tour!!!!
okay this is where it gets fucking crazy
OLD MAN. FATHER. TOOK THE WING YOU SAY. YOU SAY YOU TOOK COMFORT IN HIS "ART FORM" HIS ART FORM IS FIGHTING AND HE KILLED YOU
#i am on my hands and knees begging for someone to understand me rn#i WILL make this an animatic i WILL do it it has lived in my thoughts for almost THREE YEARS#ctommy#ghostbur#dsmp exile arc#Bandcamp
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checking in how's it going. u okay?
I think this might actually be my favorite fantasy series I’ve ever read
#no smart thoughts just oh my god oh my goddddd.#and i am okay! i just needed a minute to accept that i am apparently a person capable of being brought to tears by the words cold clam broth#i can only assume the author is off somewhere cackling at the havoc she managed to wreak with those three words#anyways. as someone who is eternally wary of endings and ESPECIALLY big fantasy series endings… that was so good#i had almost no expectations of this series going in other than that there would probably be dragons#but the vibes of the first book summary really had me convinced that this was going to be a pretty dark series and like… it has its moments#for sure but i’m just soso pleased that it ended so happily and with such a low body count adjafksgmsgnsg#also i will probably be going WILD in your posts (and whatever else is in the acod tag) soon so be prepared for that :)
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ttrpgs fuck you up
everyone says “try out dnd”, including me but dude believe me, dnd fucks you up, ttrpgs fuck you up
there’s this person in your head and you can only scream about them to the other five idiots with their own little guys in their heads
and sometimes you can’t even scream at them because first you have to reveal the backstory you came up with and you don’t want to do that immediately
ttrpgs fuck you up because they make you daydream about your little guy and what happened with them AND YOU CAN’T STOP THE THOUGHTS
try out dnd (or any other ttrpg), they say… but what they don’t say is that it’s all emotional damage
and the worst part of it is that you enjoy every fucking minute of that emotional damage
ttrpgs fuck you up.
#last night’s vtm session was a fucking rollercoaster#i can’t stop thinking about it#we started with a tattooing session andit was absolutely cute because the npc was a sweetheart and my character got a tattoo#a little line art#based on her pet rats#and then shit hit the fucking fan#we owed an npc and she asked us to investigate why her runner guy haven’t got back yet#he was supposed to get back with the fugitives hours before#and shit really hit the fan when we got to the meeting point#the guy was dead#the fugitives too#they were fucking massacred#and the runner guy was burned to final death#and my character saw them die in a vision#and the vision was like a fucking epilepsy attack#because i had to roll a rouse check and it was a fail#which meant that cassandra (my character) was bleeding from her hand and feet and forehead because she’s a fucking stigmata#and then the other roll was a messy critical#she saw the whole thing in all red#and then one of the hunters who killed the three of them throw a fucking molotov cocktail on us#one of us almost died#we fought him and i drained him so he died#my humanity level haven’t changed but the thought that cass killed a guy was there#and then the secret kindred radio announced simon’s death because he was also a malkavian the host played a song for his sister#cry little sister by chvrches#i cried and i’m still thinking about it and crying a little because it really fucked me up#vampire the masquerade#vtm#san antonio by night#i am not okay
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