#allow me that wish ❤️‍🩹

[growingwithem]

We love our kyuhyun @ssamja-trash ❤️‍🩹🏳️‍🌈

related

[prodagustd]

the road not taken 04 | myg

part four: a wish

Summary: Were you about to go crazy if you started to consider that Yoongi felt something for you?

<part three | part five>

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress!oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn, angst, FLUFF ❤️‍🩹, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension!!!!! flashbacks, ANGST!! mentions of sex 👀Btw english is not my first language!

—words: 9.6k

—a/note: hiiii friends!!! i'm glad to say that it didn't take me six months to post this :D. I genuinely went through the most stressful two months of my life so I'm really proud that I could finish this chapter while trying to survive this thing called being an adult!! Anywayy, I’m excited for this chapter but I’m MORE EXCITED FOR THE NEXT ONE… 👀 so please have patience with this story!!! I promise it’s worth it hehehe. As always, you are more than invited to discuss this chapter in the asks, feedback is always welcomed <3 this one is very fluffy i hope you enjoy ittt. (Also if you read a typo, no you didn’t)

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago

Seven days before New Year’s Eve

Were you too naive to still believe your father when he said that you were granted a wish every Christmas? He used to say that every year when he was still around and you were still a kid, when the clock struck twelve you could wish anything you wanted, as long as it wasn’t something material or more presents, you had to wish for something special, something that made you happy. 

The last Christmas before your father passed away you were seven years old and still believed in Santa Claus. That year, for some reason, your wish slipped your mind, you forgot about it completely. You stayed at your house, watched movies the whole day in your pajamas and at midnight your parents let both you and Simon open only one present before sending you to bed. You remembered how your father chased you to the stairs to tickle you until you cried of laughter and how good the cookies your mother made that night were, perhaps that year you were too happy to remember making a wish, perhaps what you had was enough. When you woke up the next morning, you were sad that you had wasted it, but your father, wise as ever, told you not to worry. He said that it was like you were saving your wish for the next year — maybe then it would be stronger, and maybe, since you waited, you would have a better chance of it coming true.

By the time Christmas came the following year your father was already gone, and with him all the magic of the world. You had to grow up, you stopped making wishes and tried to stop believing in stories, but it was difficult when his words were still at the back of your mind like some sort of tradition every holiday season. Despite knowing that magic didn’t exist and perhaps not a single wish of yours had ever come true, you still couldn't help but believe you still had your last wish, and everytime the idea of finally making it crossed your mind, you stopped to tell yourself you could still wait another year, just to be sure. 

That morning you saw Yoongi leaned over his car, adjusting his cap as he saw you walking over to him and you thought about your saved wish for the first time this year. And then again when he grabbed your hand to drag you out of the room, or when he waited for you at the bottom of the stairs before leaving the house, but you wouldn’t admit it, not even to yourself. 

He dragged you all across your grandmother’s hometown as if you didn’t know it like the palm of your hand, as if the streets weren’t filled with kids running and whole families doing last-minute gift shopping, but he didn’t seem to care, so for once, you didn’t let it annoy you either. You observed the happy families and the kids playing in the snow, and sat in the park for as long as the cold weather allowed.

It was like you entered a trance, you tried to fight the urge to snap out of the moment and talked and talked the whole afternoon about everything and nothing at the same time, Yoongi listened and laughed while playing with the ends of your hair, pushing you closer to the edge of illusion. If you weren’t so adamant to stay in that blurry haze, you would’ve done something to stop him, you would’ve push his hand away when he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, you would’ve hated how easy it was for him to play dumb, how natural it was to touch you without feeling something was wrong. You ignored it instead, you ignored him and his wandering hands and the fact that he didn’t dare to mention the moment you shared in the closet, nor the way your noses brushed together, or how his fingers hugged your waist as if you weren’t just friends. Even if you would’ve died for him to say a word about it, to tease you, to attempt to make fun of you just to know that what happened was real and not something you dreamt last night.

If you were really dreaming, you held on to your sleep for a while. When Yoongi found that secondhand bookstore five blocks away from the park, he grabbed your hand when you ran across the street before the traffic lights turned green and stayed inside wandering the aisles with him, you let him lean over to whisper jokes in your ear and you punched his arms when he made you laugh a little bit too loud. You tried to keep your voices low and made a list of books to read the following year. You didn’t buy any of them but you read the prologues and the author’s biographies like it was the most interesting thing in the world. You waited for Yoongi when he started to talk with an old man about a book he needed for college and, when he felt you drifting away, he hooked one of his fingers on the belt loop of your jeans and pulled you close to him again. You felt his hands on your waist, keeping you pressed against the side of your body while he pretended to be focused on the conversation, but he was focused on something else. His long fingers played with the waistband of your jeans as your chest felt tight and your breath felt heavier. Maybe you were beginning to go insane, maybe you had a fever and everything was just a product of your imagination, but a tiny voice inside your head quietly suggested that maybe this time you weren’t insane, maybe it was just him.

It was getting dark outside, and you were supposed to be home anytime soon, but he turned his head to you and whispered in your ear that you should save a seat at the coffee shop next door and wait for him while he paid for the book. Even if it was cold and snowing neither of you wanted to return home yet, so you agreed. You made your way to the cute little coffee shop adorned with Christmas lights and sat on a table to wait for him to arrive at the table, until you saw him entering the shop with a book wrapped in brown wrapping paper in his hands. 

You observed him approaching with your face on the palms of your hands, you watched his eyes scanning the place until they found you in some poor illuminated corner. He smiled, his eyes never left yours as he made his way to your table, and when he sat in front of you, he slid the book towards you. 

“This is for you.” He simply said, crossing his arms over his chest like it was no big deal. 

You frowned, confused. Did Yoongi get you some lawyer book? You didn’t know, you grabbed the wrapped book in your hands and scanned it as if you were able to see through the envelope. “The book you needed for college?”

“It’s not that.” He huffed. “It’s a present.” 

You tried to bite back a smile, but you failed. “Is this your way to tell me you forgot to buy me a Christmas present?” You joked, making him roll his eyes. 

“C’mon, you know me.” He said “I would never give you a Christmas present before Christmas, are you crazy?”

You laughed “So is this not a Christmas present?” You inquired, teasing him. 

“It is a Christmas present, but not the Christmas present that I got for you.” He tried to clarify, and it sounded confusing but you understood him anyway. 

You nodded, tearing the wrapping paper to reveal that Yoongi just bought you an Anne Sexton poetry book, the title “Love Poems” shinned in red on the cover, making you hold your breath for a second. 

You raised your gaze from the book to find his eyes, which were looking at you expectantly, the same way someone looked at the moon, yearning. The same way you were looking at him. 

“How did you know…?” The question died in your lips.

“I just know.” He cheekily said, and that was enough.

You know me, he said, and you felt your heart aching when you realized that Yoongi knew you too, and it was becoming impossible to escape from it.

You spent these past weeks trying to make it disappear, but there it was again, that strange feeling you felt in your chest, like something tugged from a string tied to your heart to try and steal it away. You were sure Yoongi thought he had his ways with you, that he was some kind of genius that knew exactly what to say and what to do to erase the frown from your face and make you laugh, but the truth was that he didn’t need to do much effort to win you over, the truth was that he already had you. He had you then, and he had you now and you weren’t sure if that was ever going to change, but today you didn’t care, you let him walk you home as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders like that warm wouldn’t chill you to the bone when he left. 

You had successfully gone through dinner without having to answer questions about college, or your future, or anything about yourself at all, part of it was because your grandmother didn’t ask any questions to begin with. Maybe you were a bit jealous that she seemed more interested in Eva, your cousin, who was a biochemist and just got engaged, or Aidan, your other cousin, who was just admitted into college, or even Yoongi, who was about to graduate, however, you felt relieved that the attention was not focused on you. You were used to your family thinking that you were a thirteen year old teenager and not a twenty one year adult, the attention was never really on you, sometimes it bounced on you accidentally like a ball and, from time to time, you got to share a glimpse of information about your life, but most of the time your mother answered for you as if you were a kid in the hospital room, trying to include you in conversations and talking about your own projects, and that was enough for everyone. 

In the past, your mother had sat you down several times to explain that your grandmother was never an easy woman, she reassured you that her judgmental behavior was a reflection of herself, not of you. She always offered to let you stay at home if you wanted to, but you refused only for the rest of the family, you could stand being with your grandmother if that meant being with the rest of them. And you learnt to endure it all: your grandmother’s judging look, all the talking about your cousin’s achievements, their goals, projects, flawless record, and the fact that everyone seemed to be finding their paths except for you. You had to learn to pretend you were happy for them and not jealous, you took several breaths and moved on, and for a while you thought that after two decades of your life you had finally mastered the art in not giving a fuck about what your family thought about you, until today when you ran to hide in the closet so they wouldn’t find you. 

You had to work on that, you knew that, but at least for now the blatant disinterest for your life spared you from having to explain your life crisis, at least Yoongi was by your side, redirecting attention to him and the real question everyone wanted to ask but no one dared, a question that eclipsed any other topic of conversation: what was happening between the two of you? 

You looked at him next to you, charming as ever, talking with your uncle across the table. He decided to put on his glasses, his cheeks were pink and the sleeves of his blue sweater were rolled up to his elbows, his arm was casually resting on the top rail of your chair and every time he made a joke he looked at you to check if you were laughing. Every attempt he made to try to make you part of the conversation made your heart swell, but you were more than happy just observing him blending into your family as if he were part of it; you wanted to be as clueless as everyone on the table and believe that Yoongi could be sitting next year at this very same table to be there for you, for a moment you allowed yourself to dream of a reality where he saved you from every family gathering like he was doing tonight.

From the tip of your nose to the tip of your toes you felt warm, almost as if you had a fever. It was probably because you were still wearing your black sweater inside the house or because the memory of the book Yoongi gave you kept your cheeks burning red, or maybe because when dinner was over and your family lingered over the table for the longest time they could, you saw Yoongi tilting his head towards the stairs, meaning it was time to go to bed. 

There was a couple differences between this weekend and the night Yoongi slept with you after coming back from The Alley, that night you wouldn’t have ask him to stay over if you were sober, and he most likely wouldn’t have stay if he wasn’t high, tonight you had to share the room, but it was impossible for you not to be dramatic and always make big deals out of small things. Unlike you, Yoongi didn’t flinch when you told him you were going to sleep in the same room, you failed to remember that you were the one who had a decade-long crush on him and not the other way around.

Now the house was quiet and everyone was scattered around the floors, your cousins were in the living room with your uncle, your grandmother was already in bed, your mom was in the kitchen washing the dishes and Yoongi was upstairs, waiting for you. Before going with him, you changed into your pajamas and went to the kitchen to steal a few cookies that your mother cooked for tomorrow morning. You could wait a few hours more to eat the cookies, but you were desperately trying to look for an excuse to prolong the moment you entered the room you were sharing with the man upstairs. 

You entered the kitchen, making your mother turn around from the sink to take a quick look at you before coming back to the dishes. “Are you already going to sleep?” She asked, a curious tone on her voice. 

“Yeah, but I wanted to grab a few cookies first, is that okay?” You inquired, already opening the cabinet above her head to grab a big plate.

“Just a few, remember they’re for everyone.” She warned, and you hummed in response, knowing that you were going to grab more than just a few. 

The room fell silent for a moment, you heard the water running and your dragging feet making their way to the cookies on the counter before she raised her voice again. “Are they for you and Yoongi?” 

You hummed again “Yes, just a few, I promise.” You said, grabbing what it seemed to be a whole batch of cookies to put on the plate. 

You tried to be quick, putting an extra cookie for the road between your teeth and turning around to escape from your mother before she could see you and scold you for stealing way too many cookies. Trying not to make any noise, as if that could make you invisible, you made your way towards the door to escape, but when you thought you were about to succeed, you heard the nickname your mom used for you from the corner of the room, stopping you in your tracks. 

“Wait, darling.” You heard her tone of voice, surprised that it wasn’t annoyed, but rather motherly. 

You turned around slowly with your guard up, as if in that way she wouldn’t notice the cookie between your teeth. You took it out of your mouth, hiding it behind your back.

“Yes?” You answered, remaining calm. You would not give yourself away when you already made this far. 

She closed the faucet, turning around to face you. Her eyes fell upon you, offering you an apologetic smile, which was weird, it was the kind of smile she gave you when she knew she was about to upset you. It wasn’t the kind of face someone who was about to scold you would make, she looked hesitant, almost worried. 

“I wanted to-... I mean, I wanted to ask you about something.” She said, stumbling with her own words. Her eyes were not focused on the plate on your hands, not even in your face completely, like she was trying to avoid your eyes. You felt a rush of nervousness running down your body and quickly dissipating, you didn’t know why. 

“About what?” You inquired, wiping the crumbs from your mouth. 

She sighed, playing with the towel in her hands to keep her hands busy. “I know you don’t want me to be all over your business, and I’m aware you are not a teenager anymore, but I can’t help worrying a little bit.” She explained, or at least she tried.

You frowned, more confused than ever. The conversation seemed to be taking a completely different path than you thought five seconds ago. 

“What do you mean, mom?” You said, taking a step forward, what did this have to do with the cookies?

Your mom pursed her lips, hesitating for a microsecond until the words finally came out of her mouth. “You are already a woman, darling, so I wanted to know if you are… cautious.” She pronounced, making emphasis on the last word and letting it sink in the air, but you still didn’t understand what she was talking about. 

“Cautious with what?” You must've looked like a total fool, asking once again what she meant, but your mother seemed to want you to understand without having to explain. 

She shifted in her place and you saw a flash of embarrassment in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared. “With Yoongi, I mean.” She said, making the name resonate in your ears “I know you’re both adults and you can do whatever you want, but I wanted to make sure that you are using protection.”

The realization fell upon you like a ton of bricks, each word she uttered felt like a different punch to your stomach. You opened your eyes widely, almost choking with your own spit.  “What? No, mom-” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to talk over you. 

“I just want to make sure!” She said like she was apologizing “I don’t mean to be invasive, but it’s important to me that you’re being safe.”

You winced, feeling your face burning as you began stuttering “Me and Yoongi…-We are not, I mean-”

“Honey,” She stopped you, looking at you like she was a sex education teacher trying to explain why you should use protection. “I was not born yesterday, I see things happening, and believe me, I have no problem with you sharing a room, but I can’t help but ask.”

You were left completely speechless, and her constant interruptions while you were trying to finish a sentence were not helping. You racked your brain to find a logical explanation, but you were incapable of forming a decent sentence when she was looking at you like she was a doctor. The fact that your mother thought that you and Yoongi were having sex made your stomach squirm, and how she stated that it was obvious left your head spinning. Did she see you today in that closet and immediately assumed you were… fucking? God, that sounded so bad, so incredibly embarrassing. You still felt yourself blushing when you thought about that moment, you couldn’t even fathom the idea of seeing him without a shirt, less alone having sex with him.

“Mom, please. You don’t have to worry, really.” You tried to explain, but that was not enough to leave your mother content, by the look on her face you knew she didn’t believe you one bit. 

“I know I don’t have to worry!” She defended herself “Yoongi is a great boy, and I trust you… But you know, if things get a bit too frisky...” 

You closed your eyes shut, trying not to picture that in your mind, “God, mom, don’t use that word!” 

“Sorry! I mean… You know what I mean! I hope you’re using protection, no matter the circumstances.” 

You took a deep breath, ninety percent sure you were about to die of embarrassment, but with your last breath you made sure to be clear with your mom so tonight she would sleep peacefully “Believe me, mom. You don’t have to worry, nothing happened between Yoongi and me, I mean it.”

You could see it in her eyes, she was not convinced, and she was right to be so. That was a lie, and she knew it. What happened today was not “nothing���, and your mother knowing that only made your cheeks burn.

“Fine.” She said, struggling to let the conversation go “But if something does happen… Be safe, okay?”

You nodded repeatedly, trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. “Yes, of course.” You promised, but the idea of that ever happening sent a chill down your spine, you tried to shake that thought as far away as you possibly could. 

Your mom smiled and you took it as your cue to go. You tried to walk away, but before you reached the door, she spoke again. 

“And darling?” She said, making you turn around to see her. “I know you don’t like coming here without your brother, so thank you for coming anyway.”

“It’s fine, mom.” You said, and it was true. “At least Yoongi made up for it.”

She smirked, suppressing a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure.”

You rolled your eyes, in disbelief. “Yup, I’m going now, goodnight!” You said, finally escaping from the conversation. You heard your mom’s laugh in the distance as you closed the door behind you to run upstairs. 

Present

When you visited Simon’s apartment for the first time you could clearly notice it was a boy’s apartment from the lack of decoration, the lack of food in the fridge and the amount of boxes still unpacked weeks after moving in, but after you entered through the door tonight you saw a completely different version of it. It was a part of him that you missed out when you were gone, now there were plants on the living room and traces of Florence all over the place, like her purple slippers on the door and the purple toothbrush on the bathroom, her scrunchies on the entryway table and the framed picture of her beside them. You found it endearing, it was like a secret world made just for the two of them, a proper home. 

“When is Florence coming back?” You asked, leaving your bag on the couch. 

Simon took off his shoes, wandering through his house as he turned all the lights on “On Monday.” He replied.

You made a mental note to leave on Monday, even if Simon repeated a thousand times that it was okay for you to stay there on the way here, you didn’t want to intrude in his life. Instead you decided it would be easier to intrude in Minnie’s life, who’s apartment was big enough for the two of you, the only person she shared her apartment with was not an actual person, it was just her orange cat. 

 “I was supposed to go with her.” Your brother kept talking “But me and Yoongi are behind on some work and I had to stay… Well, I’m the one who’s behind, really. Yoongi is just helping me.”

You did not forget that Simon and Yoongi worked together at the same law firm downtown ever since they graduated. You knew that Yoongi got the job as soon as he graduated and then he was followed by your brother, after years it was still impossible to keep them apart, which had become a problem for you. 

You nodded but didn’t say anything about it, you reasoned that Yoongi was still working before arriving at your house, that explained the clothes, the shoes and the messy hair. You sighed just by thinking about it, at least dinner was over, at least your first encounter with Yoongi after four years wasn’t the worst thing that happened tonight. 

It was impossible, but you tried not to think about it too much. Yoongi’s presence was some kind of collateral effect that came with your life, it was too late to detach him from it, but you still tried to run away from it for years and years, only to come back and still find him here, talking to you like nothing ever happened, like you were still friends. 

Yoongi and you were always on different stages of your life, on different places, on different paths, but you seemed to agree on one thing: keep everything secret, no one needed to know what happened between the two of you, that was why Simon was always talking about Yoongi when you called him, that was why he couldn’t stop talking about it him now, he didn’t realize that you didn’t want to know anything about his best friend, you could never told him why.

You followed your brother to his guest room as he talked and talked about how smart Yoongi was and how he was capable of taking so many different cases and not dying in the process, how nice it was to work with his best friend and blablabla. You swore that if you heard the name one more time you would explode, so you decided to drastically change the subject of the conversation, you were willing to say anything to take his name out of your brother’s mouth. It took a second, but when the room fell silent, you looked at your feet, a bit unsure, gathering enough courage to finally say what you’ve been meaning to tell him since you arrived home.

“I’m sorry for not telling you about the proposal.” You softly spoke, and Simon, who was looking for a blanket in the closet in the corner of the room, turned his head to look at you. “I wanted to tell you in person, but I wasn’t planning for that article to come out, I didn’t want the whole world to know.”

Simon left the blanket on the bed, turning his body to look at you more clearly. “Mom told me that you think Ian leaked the news” He mentioned, and you nodded, at the risk of looking crazy. 

“Sally suggested it.” You confirmed, sitting on the bed “And if he didn’t, he’s fine with it anyway. He doesn’t care if people see me as this bitch who broke his heart, I might as well be.” 

He looked at the wall behind you, confused. “I think I missed a chapter here.” He said, sitting on the edge of the bed “Maybe more than one. Weren’t you in love with him?”

You wanted to grab a pillow, bury your face on it and scream as loud as you could, but for the sake of looking like a sane person you contained yourself. “I thought I was.” You said sincerely. you believed there was a time when you were sure you were in love with Ian, there were moments you thought that the good things about him could outweigh the bad things, but deep down you knew that if you were really in love you wouldn’t have to do all that math, you wouldn’t have to fight to ignore his arrogance and his big ego. 

“And when did you realize that you weren’t?” He continued to ask “Or when did you realize he was a jerk?”

You scoffed, bitterly. “I guess I always knew both, I tried to make it work regardless. I enjoyed being with him for some time, but then he planned an engagement party full of people I didn’t even know. He didn’t care to call any of you and expected me to say yes… Does that say more about him or me?”

He kept quiet, not knowing what to say, but you already knew the answer. 

“Ian was an asshole, kid. He was jealous of you, of your family, of your job, none of us understood why you were with him.” 

“That was not what I asked.” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Ian was a prick, I get it, but I wasn’t much better either.”

“You can’t make me think you deserve each other, are you kidding?” He said. 

“I can’t blame him for everything, I made my own bed.” You huffed “I was terrible and it took me almost four years to snap out of it, that was not his fault.” 

“You are right, but you’re here now, aren’t you?” He reminded you, calmly. “Isn’t that what’s important?” 

You began to become exasperated “C’mon, Simon, don’t try to be nice, you’re supposed to be mad at me.” 

“I am mad at you.” He corrected you, sending a chill down your spine “You’re working all the time, you never call, never text back, we barely see you and the only way to know about your life is when we read some article saying you broke up with your boyfriend because he proposed to you, are you kidding? Of course I am mad, but because I miss you.”

You felt a wave of regret hitting all your senses, suddenly your eyes were burning with tears and you are not supposed to cry, you knew that, but the single tear that slid down your cheek was quicker than any thought that could cross your mind. Somehow, you wished your family hadn't noticed how absent you'd been these past few years, that they just shrugged and said “that’s just her” and forgot about it, it was not necessary to look at Simon’s face to know that he couldn’t just forget about it. He loved you, your mother loved you too, you didn’t have a family that you would want to run away from, but you did it anyway,

“I’m sorry…” You murmured, looking at him with eyes full of regret. “It wasn’t you, it wasn’t any of you, it was me. I was so angry when I left, I didn’t know how to handle it.”

You wouldn’t trade your career for anything, it was one of those few things that made you happy, but after years of trying to convince yourself that every decision you made for the last few years was the right choice, this was the first time that you admitted that maybe you weren’t thinking clearly when you decided to move to the city and never look back. 

Simon frowned, thinking about it twice before asking “Were you angry, bug?”

You tilted your head, giving him a sad smile, hoping that it could explain everything.”I was quite angry, yes.” You answered “Not at you, though.” 

“At mom?” 

“Maybe a little bit at mom, yeah.” You laughed, shaking your head. You sighed deeply, letting the silence sit in the room for a moment before you could put in order all the things you wanted to say. “I remember when I told her I left college she looked at me like I finally lost my mind, it was like she saw it coming, you know? Me, again, being lost, it was not a surprise, but rather something she would expect of me. I know she was just worried and I know I can be a lot sometimes, but it hurt anyway. I don't blame anyone, Simon, but all I needed was someone to believe in me and no one did. I had to leave.” Something ached inside your chest because that was not the whole truth, but it was all you could say tonight, you couldn’t say that Yoongi was also one of the reasons. “I’m not trying to justify myself.” You mumbled “I’m just saying that I was so angry that I didn’t realize how many mistakes I made.” 

The silence that took over the room was so strong it made your stomach squirm. You shifted in your place, but Simon stayed there, with his gaze lost somewhere in the room as he processed what you just said. 

“I always believed in you, you know that?” He spoke, causing your head to snap up towards him. “I know a lot of people tried to tell you that you weren’t, but you’ve always been special and I’ve always seen it.” 

“I know you did.” You sighed. “But I was being so stubborn, I walked away and I’m so sorry.”

“I know you think you’re too much, but you’re not.” He continued talking “Maybe mom just wanted everything to be simple, for her kids to go to college, graduate, get a job and a home and never have to worry about whether they are choosing right or wrong ever again. But you’re not simple, bug, you’re extraordinary and talented and too brilliant to stay still, but you’re not too much, not for me.” 

You held back a sob, feeling ridiculous. “I’m sorry.” You said, once again, because you haven’t said it enough times.

“It’s okay now, I mean it.” Simon reached for your hand to squeeze it tightly. 

You sniffed “God, I should be comforting you for being a bad sister, not the other way around” 

“I don’t need to be comforted, I’m okay as long as you’re here.” He tried to cheer you up. “And you were not a bad sister, you were sad and acted shitty.” 

You smiled, because you told Simon that you were angry but instead he heard that you were sad, you didn’t feel like correcting him because he wasn’t so wrong about that. 

“I’m sorry.” You repeated once again like a scratched record, making him laugh. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No.” he replied, “But only if you promise not to disappear again.” 

You raised your hand, extending your pinky finger in front of his face. “I promise you, Simon, I will not disappear again.”

Simon tangled his pinky with yours, making your promise impossible to be broken, and your soul felt at ease for a moment.

“Fine, good enough for me.” he said, throwing himself back onto the bed. “Now I want to hear everything about the proposal, and I want you to describe to me exactly the face he made when you said no.”

You laughed, throwing yourself on the bed the same way he did and tried to summarize the last three years in just one night. Only for today, your body did you a favor and your head stopped spinning at least for now. Something began to feel right.

Four years ago

Seven days before New Year’s Eve

You could hear the radio at the end of the hallway in your grandmother’s room, softly playing jazz to cancel out the outside noise. Not everyone in the house liked the radio, your cousins always said that it was annoying and kept them awake, but it was still one of those old habits of your grandfather that remained in the house even if he was no longer here, so you liked it. The music inevitably seeped under the door of your room, Yoongi hummed some Frank Sinatra song as if he knew the lyrics to it, making you laugh and beg him to stop. 

You know it’s almost midnight, as your roommate just informed you, but you didn’t want to turn the lights off yet. All of the cookies already disappeared from the plate, Yoongi was laying on his side the same way you were and the lamp on the nightstand warmly lighted up his brown eyes, you couldn’t help but feel you were not supposed to be in such presence, his messy hair and the loose white shirt he wore to sleep, his sleepy eyes, his pink lips; it looked just like the kind of view that was bound to haunt you forever. 

The nightstand that separated you was not far enough to stop that pull from the string in your chest, not when he was looking at you like that, his gaze fixated on yours like he didn’t want to leave you awake alone, and neither did you. You felt yourself shaking because, what was the version of you that existed when you were asleep? And what happened inside his head when you were not there? What was happening inside his head right now?

Did you cross his mind the same way he crossed yours? When you finally fell asleep, would he remember that moment in the closet or would it be just water under the bridge? Did he spend every waking second of the last seven hours thinking of that fleeting moment when you could almost feel his lips on yours?

Or was that just you?

The night was fading away, your eyelids were getting heavy but you still couldn’t find the will to sleep. 

“I’m sorry for today.” You almost whispered, gathering enough courage to mention the little accident “I’m sorry for dragging you with me to the closet.”  

He smiled softly, closing his eyes for a second. “It’s okay, it was cozy.” He teased you, making you groan in annoyance. He laughed loudly at your reaction, annoying you even more. “I’m serious, it was okay.” 

“Was it really?” You asked him “Wasn’t I being silly?”

“It's okay being silly sometimes.” He assured you, but that did not ease that anxious feeling in your stomach. He seemed to see it in your face. “What’s wrong with being a little silly? I would’ve run from your grandmother, too.” 

You bitterly laughed, covering your face with the palms of your hands “Stop, I’m being immature.” You groaned “I’ve got to get my shit together.”

“C’mon Pinky, you have to stop with that.” He said. 

“I would if I could.” You remarked.

“Didn’t you say you were going to get your shit together after the holidays?” He reminded you “Why are you worrying right now?”

Yoongi was right, that was the initial plan, but ever since you came back home everything was pointing in different directions and it was beginning to drive you crazy, it was like the universe was forcing you to think about it, it was not letting you run away from it, not even temporarily. First, it was Yoongi, showing up every few days at your doorstep, grabbing your hand, squeezing your legs, whispering things in your ear like he wanted you to go insane, it was Minnie, offering you a job, talking about The Alley, saying you were supposed to be on the big screen, and then it was your mother, expecting you to make up your mind once for all. And still, you had your whole life ahead, why were you worrying right now?

“I don’t know…” You sighed “What if I come back next year and the plan was not good enough? What if I end up hiding again from everyone?”

Yoongi shifted in bed, curious “Do you have a plan, Pinky?” The nickname rolled off his tongue softly, you swimmed in the tenderness of his voice, something about it made you want to tell him everything.

“Not really, I mean… It all sounds so bad.” 

“You have a plan.” He affirmed, smiling “I want to hear it.”

“It’s not a plan.” You contradicted yourself “If it were a plan, it would suck.”

Yoongi hummed “It’s something like a plan, then.”

You scrunched your nose, unsure. “Yeah, but not quite like a plan, something like a…” You said, but the words died on your lips before you got the chance to finish. 

“Something like a dream, then?” He continued to ask, but you shook your head.

“Something close.” You expressed, unable to find the right words to explain your thoughts. You stayed silent for a second, believing he was beginning to lose interest in the topic, until the words slipped past his lips like a spell.

“Something like a wish.” He pronounced, and he was not asking, it was almost like he knew. 

You thought there was not much difference between a dream and a wish, but in this case, there was. 

You smiled at him, nodding, somehow you felt you could trust him with all your secrets “Yes, like a wish.” You affirmed, and it felt like a confession. “I don’t know Yoongi, have you ever stayed up late and planned something but when you woke up next morning you felt it was stupid? Well, I do that every night.”

“I’m sure that whatever it is, it’s not stupid.” He said, making your heart swell.  

“I would like to believe you…” You murmured “Do you have a dream, Yoongi? Something you’re too scared to wish for?”

You could see him think about it for a moment, but his eyes were still connected with yours. Oh, how you wished to be inside his mind right now, read his thoughts, witness his dreams, know all his secrets.

“Yes.” He confirmed, “But I can’t talk about them out loud right now.” 

You laughed, biting your bottom lip. “Okay, fair. What about those you can say out loud?”

“I’m not going to tell you because you’re going to laugh.” He pouted, making you frown. 

“Laugh?” You repeated, sounding more offended than you actually were. “I would never, c’mon.”

He raised an eyebrow, testing you “You sure?”

“Of course, don’t piss me off.” 

“Fine, fine.” He let out a long sigh, believing you. “My wish would be… to stop time for a while. Sometimes I believe I can’t think when time’s running, all I do is study and come home to my mom, there is very little time that I have for myself.”  

You felt your chest tighten, but it didn't surprise you that Yoongi felt this way. He already mentioned to you that, even if taking care of his mother didn’t feel like a burden, he still felt he was missing out on so many things. 

“And what would you do if time stopped right now?” 

Yoongi shifted his eyes for a moment, and you almost missed it but you saw it, the urge to hold back and the words getting stuck on his throat. 

“Mmm…” He hummed, “I’ll go to the beach.”

“In winter?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t care.”

“And where else?” You continued to ask.

“Honestly? I’ll go anywhere but home.” He confessed.

“What’s wrong with home?” You of all people knew exactly what was wrong with home, but you wanted to hear why he thought that. 

“Home it’s okay,” He waved off. “It just feels like I spent my whole life there. I went to college expecting something to change, and a lot of things did but I still feel like something else is supposed to happen, like there's something else for me to see.” 

It was looking in a mirror, it was the same thing you’ve told him a few days ago but in other words, in another tone. Yoongi sounded resigned, like his wish was clearly something that was not meant to happen and he needed to come to terms with it, nothing could ever make you more sad. 

“There’s plenty for you to see, Yoongi, are you kidding?” You chuckled  “You’re twenty five, you’re barely grasping life.” 

He scoffed, bitterly, “It’s not that easy.” 

“Of course it is easy, do you know it’s not necessary to stop time to go to the beach?” 

“I know, Pinky.” He agreed, “But what does it feel like running away?” 

“Running away would be so bad?” You asked, hearing the question echoing in the room, letting you know that maybe it was something you weren’t supposed to wonder out loud. Yoongi didn’t dare to ask such a question, but you seemed determined to make his wish come true, maybe you were the only one who could do it. 

“Don’t ask me.” He said, looking at the ceiling to avoid your gaze.  “Don’t act like running away isn’t your wish as well” 

You snorted, immediately grabbing a pillow and threatening to punch him in the face with it, but Yoongi is quick to cover his face with his arms.

“Don’t!” He protested, laughing.

 “Don’t expose me like that!” You whined, embarrassed. 

“What, am I wrong?” 

“Maybe you’re not…” You dared to answer, leaving the pillow on the bed again “But how do you know?”

“I told you, Pinky.” He murmured “I just know.”

You shook your head in denial, how could it be? Were you really that transparent or Yoongi really just knew? 

“What else do you know?” You continued to ask, curious. 

He pretended to think about it, pouting his lips and looking at the ceiling as if the answers were to fall from the sky. His eyes shifted towards yours, tilting his head “I know that you would run away to the beach with me if I asked you to.” 

A giggle was built in your throat, you laughed nervously as you tried to decipher if he was joking or not, even if Yoongi could see right through you, it was a bit difficult for you to do the same with him. 

“I don’t know about that.” You said, ignoring the way your heart was beating against your ribcage. “Do you mean in… an hypothetical scenario?” 

“It’s a hypothetical proposal.” He answered.

“I’ll have to check my schedule first.” 

A smirk tugged from the corner of his lips. “What about… two weeks away from now?”

You did the calculation in your head, but you already knew that by then Yoongi would have to go back to class, so you doubted. “What about the semester?” You asked, trying to be the voice of reason. “Your last semester, might I add.”

“That could wait.” He did not hesitate “Isn’t it part of running away? Leaving things behind?”

You laughed “And what would people say about me, then? That I made you leave college, nuh-hu.” 

“Here we go again with that.” He rolled his eyes “I don’t care what people say and, besides, I’m not leaving college, I’m… postponing it.” 

That didn’t sound like the Yoongi you knew at all, but then again, this whole conversation didn’t sound like anything Yoongi from the past would say. A thousand questions crossed your mind, like what do you do on the beach in winter? Wouldn’t being alone be a problem? What are you going to talk about, where are you going to stay? If you say yes, would he grab your hand when you crossed the street, would he try to kiss you again? 

You crossed your arms, thinking about it, not daring to agree right away, but how could you say no? When he was looking at you, convinced that you would say yes. 

You opened your mouth, not sure what you were going to say but still ready to answer, and before you could utter a word, he interrupted you. “Run away with me to the beach, Pinky.” He asked in a soft tone, looking at you with warm eyes and warm words, making your heart shake violently in your chest “Only for now, I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

You smiled, ignoring that little person inside you that tried to warn you about something, but you weren’t sure about what because all you could feel was your heart racing. “Fine, I’ll follow you for now.” You simply said, trying to sound as cool as possible “Let’s run.” 

In that moment you forgot about years and years of disappointment and failed dreams, failed wishes, you ignored the reality, deciding everything was false and true at the same time. You didn’t need to look at the clock to know that it was midnight, something inside your chest sparkled and told you it was time to make your wish, and for some reason, you listened. It echoed in every corner of your mind, your wish was the beach in winter. 

Four days before New Year’s Eve

Two weeks ago, when you bought Yoongi’s Christmas gift, you thought about it like a farewell. You stood in the shop and talked to the tall man with the long face and chose the gift as you tried to convince yourself this was a way of saying goodbye to him. 

That Christmas morning Yoongi tore the brown wrapping paper and opened the long box to find that you decided to give him a red tie. It wasn’t bright red, it was deep dark red, red like a rose. It came with a notebook and a pen with his initials on them. In your mind, you were giving away that version of him that lived in your head and clung to your thoughts and clung to your heart, that version of him you could never let go. Yoongi was about to graduate, he was about to become officially a lawyer, an adult, a man, he wasn’t that boy you fell in love with years ago, he was a wish you had to let in the past and your gift was just a way to remind you of it. You had a purpose, a plan, you had everything figured out until he decided to ask you to run away with him, until you said yes.

His gifts for you were a vinyl copy of Is This It by The Strokes, two tickets to watch When Harry Met Sally at the Alley the following week and a pair of red gloves for the rest of the winter. 

Yoongi looked at you and smiled like you both knew something everyone else in the room didn’t. “The gloves match with the tie.” He had said.

So now you had no plan, what you did have though, was a bunch of pictures of several locations Yoongi thought of booking for your trip to the beach. You were doomed. 

You thought the only person in this town who could possibly understand what you were going through was Minnie, the only person in the world who knew about your feelings for Yoongi, and the only person who you could call a friend at the moment. 

You weren’t expecting to see Minnie again when you saw her at The Alley a few weeks ago, but she had different plans; it was like she forced you to be her friend again. You tried to stop thinking you didn’t deserve it, you had to swallow your guilt and accept her friendship, and after a few five hour calls filled with gossip, you ultimately decided not to be against it, even if she called you everyday and still talked nonstop about that audition in the city, talking with her felt like you were still fifteen, and you liked it.

That night, as she raided her closet looking for a dress for you to wear at the New Year’s party at The Alley, you sat on her bed and gave her a run down of everything that happened with Yoongi since you came back home, it didn’t take her much to get you to admit that you were still in love with your brother’s best friend, so you might as well be honest and tell her everything. 

“You’re being stupid right now, sweetheart.” You heard her muffled voice from inside her closet. The next thing you saw was a piece of fabric flying in the air and landing at your feet. You grabbed it, putting in front of you to reveal a short pink dress that you would never, ever wear. 

You snorted, leaving the dress on the pile of clothes that you already rejected. You seemed to forget that Minnie was not the most adequate person to talk about “boy stuff”, perhaps because she was way too honest. You didn’t know whether it was a mistake or not to tell her about the trip to the beach, because all the questions she was asking and all the things she was stating to be true were thoughts you were desperately trying to avoid. 

“He wants to fuck you, I don’t know how else to tell you this.” She said, walking over the clothes to make her way to you. You threw yourself on the bed, covering your face with your palms “I mean, I wish I could only tell you that he’s head over heels for you, and honey, that he is, but he also wants to fuck you.”

You groaned, kicking your feet. “God, you make me want to throw up.”

“Of excitement, I’m assuming.” She affirmed “I’m telling you, there’s no way you’re going on a trip alone and come back without having fucked.”

You looked at her, begging her to stop talking, but she was not finished. “Stop!”

“Picture this.” She ignored you, forming a rectangle with her fingers and looking right through it as if she was directing a scene from a movie “First scenario, a storm causes the power to go out, there’s no electricity, you have no way to be warm so you sleep in the same bed to warm up, there’s tension, you look at each other and kiss, you fuck.”

“Okay, I don’t see that happening.” You shook your head. 

“Second scenario, you just finished showering, you go out of the bathroom wearing only a towel because you think he’s not there, but he is! He sees you, you kiss, you fuck.”

“That’s not… That sounds like porn.” 

“Third scenario!” She exclaimed. 

“Fine, that’s enough.” You stopped her, waving your arms in the air. 

“No, you have to prepare! And when it happens you will know that I was right.” Your friend insisted, but you refused to let any of those ideas in your mind. 

“What if you’re not?” You wondered “What if he just wants to be my friend and I’m just imagining everything?”

“But you are not, are you kidding?” She laughed “That man is clearly in love with you, why are you convincing yourself otherwise?”

You felt Minnie’s body sitting right next to you, causing you to sit back on the bed to look at her face to face. You were sure you were about to start crying out of frustration. “I don’t know, what if I get hurt?”

Minnie pursed her lips “Baby, I can’t answer that question at all, but you have to take the chance.” 

You groaned, annoyed. “I don’t want to take the chance.” You whined “I was fine before seeing him again, I wasn’t even thinking of him.”

“That is a lie,” She laughed, mocking you. “We both know you never stopped being in love with him, now you have him in the palm of your hand, do something.” 

Minnie stood up again, looking for another piece of clothing on the floor as you kept silent, wondering if any of that could be possible. Did you really have him in the palm of your hand? Was he in love with you and you were being stupid for believing that he wanted to be just friends?

“What should I do?” You asked her, hoping that the redhead in the room knew all the secrets of the universe. 

“Invite him to the New Year’s party and wear a hot outfit, how about that?” Minnie offered, like that could answer all your prayers. 

“Would that resolve all my problems?” You joked, talking to the sky. 

“C’mon, he literally asked you to run away with him, don’t you find that a little bit hot? Don’t you really think that was not code for ‘I want to fuck you’?” 

You laughed “Yoongi is not like that!” You protested. 

“I hate to break it to you, but you are hot.” She insisted, throwing another piece of clothing at your face. “And if Yoongi is not blind, he knows that, and let’s not forget the most important fact here.” 

“Which is…?”

“He’s in love with you, let’s start wrapping our heads around that.” She simply said “Once that’s done, you invite him to the New Year’s eve party at The Alley, you wear a hot outfit and confront him about it, tell him to stop playing around.”

You grabbed the dress Minnie just threw at you, which was another short dress, but this one was actually cute. It was black and was covered in black sparkly sequins with thin straps, you were definitely going to freeze to death if you wore that, but you were sure this fitted the description of “hot outfit”. 

Minnie was right, you couldn’t keep running away from the facts, everything was laid on the table, you didn’t need more proof to know that Yoongi felt something for you, even if you weren’t sure if it was the same that you felt for him, you needed to gather enough courage to find out what it was. 

You grabbed the phone in your pocket and opened Yoongi’s chat, you decided to invite him to the New Year’s party. 

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @yoongisoftface @namgihours @idkjustlovingbts @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804 @yoongibaybee @hsbongwater

[icanseethefuture333]

PAC: What makes you so sweet + who's sweet on you? 🍓🍰♥️

This spread was inspired by Strawberry shortcake :D! A childhood favorite of mine. You are allowed to choose one or more pile for each question! Use your intuition to decide 🥰 Please leave a tip if you can $$$

Pile 1:

Your songs -

I Don't Wanna by Aaliyah

Konclusions by YG & Kehlani

Crushcrushcrush by Coco & Clair Clair

Your dessert -

Pumpkin spice latte 🎃

What makes you so sweet?:

The Empress, Three of Pentacles (reversed), & Six of Pentacles

You are so loving and caring pile 1! 🥰 people could think that you have a "big heart" and wish they could give back all that you do for them. You could have venusian qualities or Libra/Taurus placements. You are a very selfless person and for that in exchange you just really desire friendship and loyalty! Your love language could be acts of service or gifts. You could also be very physically attractive 🤭 but you may not realize this??? You could be more self conscious about how you look and possibly put others on a pedestal for their appearance. You might question if you're actually pretty at times because people might not compliment you much but it's just really because you make them shy 🥺! In private, others could consider you their muse. People could like to draw you or write songs about you. It's giving girl next door energy. The way that you dress could be modest too. You could like to wear long sleeve shirts, sweaters, cardigans, flowy dresses, etc. Fall/autumn could be your favorite time of the year because it fits your taste in style! People could think that you give off a very warm and cozy aura. So comforting 💞

Who's sweet on you?:

Page of Swords, Ten of Swords, & Two of Swords

Lmao poor pile 1 😭 I feel bad so your secret admirer is someone who's ghosted you recently or who you just lost contact with. This person has attachment issues (avoidant I'm feeling?) Whenever they get close to love or start developing feelings for someone, they run away. They could be younger than you or they're just inexperienced when it comes to relationships. This person feels regret for ghosting you and wishes they could just reach out. They wish to tell you how they feel romantically but everytime they try to type out a text or get close to calling you, they chicken out. This person will eventually have to make a decision on if they should contact you or not but they're kind of stubborn 💀 good luck!

Pile 2:

Your songs -

Daisy 2.0 by Ashnikko & Miku Hatsune

Black eye by Vernon

Little Bit by Drake & Lykke Li

Your dessert -

Dark chocolate 🍫

What makes you so sweet?

The Devil (reversed), Ace of Cups, & The moon

Pile 2, you could be alternative??? Or just have a very intimidating/non-conventional beauty. Your style or overall appearance could be unique and that makes people weary to come near you. You possibly have a resting bitch face or you have "hunter eyes" (feline, snake, etc). Your features could go against European beauty standards as well. Contrary to what people think, you are actually so compassionate and sensitive. You could be secretly a hopeless romantic and be into romance novels, films, etc. I'm getting that you like to read or are into reading mangas. You could also like to watch anime or do cosplaying. Your geekiness is adorable 🤓! People like to hear about your interests and want to get to know you more if you feel comfortable. I see that you could have wounds from the past or currently are dealing with depression :( I'm sorry to hear that ❤️‍🩹! Just know that you aren't alone and you have people who care about you (including me!) Your guides want to tell you that you don't have to be so secretive dear. I'm getting that you possibly might have been bullied growing up? And they want you to understand that not everyone is going hurt you. People could think that you are beautiful in the nighttime or your beauty reminds them of the moon. Your skin could be luminescent and glowy when the light hits or your irises are big or have a unique color. You could possibly have Capricorn or Cancer placements. When you allow people to get close to you and gain trust, they appreciate it so much! Your talents, hobbies, and skills is what makes you so special 🥰 This could be only for a few people but some people here are musicians or should learn to play an instrument.

Who's sweet on you?

King of Cups, The Lovers, & Queen of Swords

This is good news for your love life :D! This person wants to come in with a offer and ask you either to be their partner or go out on a date. They are willing to court you and show how much you mean to them. You and this person could be very different than most couples. I'm getting that you guys could be a interracial couple, same sex couple, or just express yourselves differently when it comes to styles, aesthetics, and love languages. Don't be afraid to let this person in pile 2! They seem to really care for you and I can see once you fall in love with them, you're never gonna want to let them go ❤ What's cute about your dynamic is that this person is affectionate and outgoing while you're the more protective and reserved one LOL. I guess opposites do attract.

Pile 3:

Your songs -

While We're Young by Jhené Aiko

Child's Play by SZA & Chance The Rapper

Come by Doja Cat

Your dessert -

Lemon meringue pie 🥧

What makes you so sweet?

The Fool, Three of Wands, & Four of Wands

I feel like my pile 3 people are good singers 😳 if not, their voices are very soft and melodic 🤭 You love to listen to music a lot, for some of you I'm seeing that you like to listen to indie music or r&b. You're a very mellow person and radiate this down to earth energy. There is a lot of yellow on these cards as well so you could be connected to your solar plexus or that could be your favorite color/it suits your skintone. I'm seeing sunflowers 🌻 some of you might worship Oshun or should start doing research on her. You could be spiritual or religious. You have a carefree attitude because you know that the universe got you - period! You could be very knowledgeable on manifestation as well. People wonder what's your secret to life because you seem so lucky. I heard people even want to "rub you for good luck" 👀😂 you could like to dress in a bohemian or hippie style. You could wear like vegan leather backpacks, sandals, beads, feathers, rompers, and also dye your hair unnatural colors like blue, pink, etc. People could like that you're well traveled as well or you're knowledgeable about others cultures. You could speak more than one language. They like to hear about your travels or want to hear about your stories. I'm getting Leo, Sagittarius, or Virgo placements. You make friends where ever you go and it's very easy to talk to you 🌞! You radiate such a positive and divine energy. I just love that!

Who's sweet on you?:

The Emperor, Page of Wands, & King of Pentacles

This person could be older than you. They can be athletic but also act childish. They might have Aries traits or they have have it in their birth chart. They are creative, hard working, and . They take on traditional masculine qualities and would want to be a provider for their family. You could depend on this person and build able to form a secure and stable relationship. This could also signify that you and this person could get married in the future! Expect good news when it comes to your romantic endeavors.

Pile 4:

Your songs -

Favorite by HUNJIYA

Little Little by Red Velvet

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay Ft. Beyoncé

Your dessert -

Angel food cake 🎂

What makes you so sweet?

The Star, Strength, & Knight of Cups

Pile 4, you're giving me very much earth angel or starseed vibes 🌈🕊 something about you is very ethereal and angelic to people. They admire your elegance and healing energy. You could look good in the color white or pastel colors. You could have a nice physique as well 😋! Your hair could be very long with waves or curls. Some people fantasize about you naked because of how naturally beautiful you are 😅 It exudes something in them and your sex appeal is very arousing. I'm getting that you could also be nurturing and motherly, very wise. You could have Aquarius, Leo, or Pisces placements. People like your awareness on things and your acceptance of how people are instead of trying to change them. You could be very observant as well. You notice the little things in life and pay attention to the fine details that other don't. You have a keen eye for art or fashion. You could care for the environment and have a connection to animals or babies 🦋 You just embody a lot of divine feminine qualities and that makes people feel welcome and at ease around you.

Who's sweet on you?

Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, & Nine of Pentacles

For you pile 4, I see that you're actually sweet on yourself (period self love)! I feel like as for right now in your love life, you're not looking for a commitment or should be focusing on committing to yourself and your goals. You could be coming out of a relationship or have been single for quite some time - no worries! I'm seeing finacial abundance coming to your life and your personal endeavors. I see that you're mostly gonna keep your options open for now and see different people. I'm seeing a lot of good sex as well ❤️‍🔥 There's gonna be fun dates and partying happening in your life. (Clarified by Justice) this could be for a few but some of you might hear or will start dating a Libra. I'm not seeing anything too serious but I'm getting that they could help you further your career. They could be a sugar daddy/mommy, you know them from work (boss, supervisor, or coworker), or they could work as a counselor, legal advisor, lawyer, etc.

Pile 5:

Your songs -

20/20 by Lil Tjay

On My Own by Darci

Into It by Chase Atlantic

Your dessert -

Red wine truffle 🍷

What makes you so sweet?

Nine of Cups, The World, & Temperance

Your self assurance, patience, and drive for success is what makes you so sweet pile 5! I'm getting badass energy from you and you have a very nonchalant, idgaf, rebellious attitude. I feel that growing up those in authority underestimated you and you managed to prove or will prove them all wrong with your achievements. You could have trophies, good grades, or receive a lot of praise for your work at school or your job. You could possibly be an athlete or participated in some sort of competition (dancing, mathlete, etc). You're beauty and brains, pile 5, the total package! You could have Scorpio, Gemini, or Aries placements. People wonder how you did it or overcome such hardships. You're someone people can look up to. You motivate them and make them want to do better. You could be the older sibling in your family or could have cousins younger than you? I'm having a vision of little kids looking at you and they're just in awe, how cute 🥹! Your independence and self confidence is so admirable.

Who's sweet on you?

Four of Swords, Knight of Wands, & Eight of Wands

Pile 5, when it comes to romance it could make you nervous or give you anxiety. You may not have time for it or whenever you go out on dates you overthink about it. There's no need to be nervous! Just be yourself sweetheart 💕 I feel that you know this person as well or already currently seeing someone. They could be on your team or they are in some sort of team (at work, in sports, etc). They like to move things pretty fast. You both could hate the talking stage and just wish to skip to the part where the both of you are best friends in love! I'm getting like coming of age love story and it's adorable ☺️ This person could like your hair or compliments you a lot on your hair. They could like your tattoos or piercings. There is going to be a lot of passion early on in the relationship and they will be very infatuated by you. Just be careful not to rush into thing if you want more of a serious relationship! If not, I feel that this would be a fun fling.

Pile 6:

Your songs -

Jasmine by DPR Live

I Wanna Be Down by Brandy

Who Can I Run To by Xscape

Your dessert -

Galaxy raindrop cake 💧

What makes you sweet?:

Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, & Wheel of Fortune

Pile 6, I see that you're someone who's very generous with their wealth. Very similar to pile 1, you could be good with your finances, and have a lot of high quality material items. You're someone who takes value in the finer things and show gratitude for everything you have because there are those who are without. Whenever someone is struggling or is in need of help, you're always there! You're someone people can count in terms of an emergency. When people get asked about you they have fond memories of how much you been there for them (shit even me, I need more friends like you pile 6 😭). You're a down ass bitch! I feel that fortune is always on your side because of how selfless you are. Like pile 3, I feel that you could also know about manifestation, and use it to improve your life. You could do this without knowing. You could visualize yourself being rich or you affirm that you're lucky when it comes to money. I heard that your parents are very proud of you as well! You could really have an old soul pile 6. Your style could be more casual or reminiscent of the 80s/90s. I'm seeing mom jeans, crop tops, high top sneakers, jelly bracelets, henna tattoo chokers, gold chain, and mini hoop earrings.

Who's sweet on you?:

Six of Swords, The World, & Ace of Cups

Aw pile 6, so I see that a lot of people can depend on you but you don't have many people that you can turn to when you need help or need to take a load off 🥺 you could feel stressed because of this but don't worry someone will be coming in your love life soon! You could meet them overseas or while traveling. I'm getting military vibes so either you or this person will be in the military, if not the job requires traveling or dealing with foreign people/places. You and this person will have a harmonious relationship. So expect a new chapter and a good change in your love life!

Pile 7:

Your songs -

Generous by Doja Cat

No Silhouette by DPR Ian

Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey

Your dessert:

Cannoli 🥖

What makes you sweet?:

Pile 7, your style is reminding me of mirror palais, summers in spain/Italy/mexico, or "bible study" outfits. Your style could cater to your religious beliefs or it's reminiscent of a holy figure. I feel that you could also dress very preppy. I'm seeing crosses, rosaries, cloaks, scarves, concho belts, a necklace with some sort of significant pendant (crystals, cross, buddha, etc), slippers/flats, stockings, long skirts, headbands, and button up tops. You have a very innocent and holy appearance. Some of you could be very sophisticated as well (its giving "my name is Bella Hadid"). People could think you're so pure that they're afraid of tainting you (in a nsfw way 😭). You make people blush because of how attractive you are. You could have a babyface, look younger than your actual age, or you have a youthful personality. People consider you "God's favorite" because of how perfect you seem or think God took their time with making you. You could be into modeling or you look like a model. Your lips could be nice and plump. They have a alluring shape with a vibrant color (they could be cherry red or they have a nice pink in the center of them if your lips are two toned). I am reminded of Monica Belluci in the role Milena where she had ginger hair and all the men were so seduced by her without her even trying (the scene where they were lighting her cigarette) and Salma Hayek in Desperado (where she caused people to crash their cars because of how hot she was 😂). You exude this femme fatale energy and could be becoming more "grown woman/man/person fine". This could also mean if you're underage, you could have major glow up after you're finished with puberty. You could also pray or be very devoted to your faith and people find that admirable.

Who's sweet on you?:

Five of Cups, The High Priestess, & Knight of Pentacles

You've been disappointed a lot in when it comes to your love life. You feel as though no one can satisfy you. You could have had your heart broken in a previous relationship so therefore you decided to stay single. I do feel that someone wants to come in though to show their love for you and will back up their words with action taking. They could be intimidated by you but they won't let their self esteem get in the way. They're gonna be persistent until you give in. Although pile 7, I suggest you heal wounds from your past relationship as well, it could cause you to self sabotage in your dating life, and prevent you from ever moving on. You deserve to be loved and receiving the pleasures of being in a happy relationship. So make sure to give them a chance when they come along.

Pile 8:

Your songs -

Headlines by McClenney

10% by Kaytranada & Kali Uchis

Jungle by Drake

Your dessert -

Creme Brulé 🍮

What makes you so sweet?:

Five of Pentacles, Justice, & Ace of Swords

Wow pile 8, you are someone who is fair and fights for equality. You hate to see people being kicked down and mistreated so you would do anything in your power to make sure others are safe. You're honestly a hero. For some people in this pile, you guys could have been abandoned by your parents, or was a orphan so because of this would you do your best to make sure that doesn't happen to anyone around you. You could do community service or take time out of your day to do activities with the kids that come from low income families. That's so sweet and I'm sorry that you went through that 🥺. If not, you have had really greedy people in your life. Whether it's a family member or authority in the workplace, they take from you a lot. Whether financially or emotionally. You could use your knowledge from these past situations for activism or fighting legal battles. You could work as a social worker, activist, politics, human relations, or in the legal system. Also people appreciate you for your great advice! You are very logical but at the same time optimistic. You know how to balance your brain and your heart, which not many people can do. You are a very strong person, pile 8.

Who's sweet on you?:

Ten of Wands, The Chariot, & King of Cups

You and this person could have broken up? I feel that this an ex who is wanting a second chance with you or a friend of yours who wants to be more than friends. You could have rejected them and they feel burdened by this because they still have feelings for you. It made them retreat and hide but they are not going to give up on this connection. You could have broken up with them because or their lack of vulnerability. They could have been uncomfortable with talking about their feelings or avoided having serious conversations, it triggers them. They are going to come back with a open heart to tell you how much you mean to them. For some people in this pile, this person might even propose to you 😲 if not a proposal for marriage, they could just ask you again to be their partner.

Pile 9:

Your songs -

Don't Hurt Me by DJ Mustard, Nicki Minaj, & Jeremih

Come Into You by Jimmy Brown

I Like U by Niki

Your dessert -

Gingersnap cookies 🍪

What makes you so sweet?:

Six of Cups, Page of Pentacles, & Seven of Cups

Pile 9, you are so cute😆! I feel like out of all the piles you are the youngest either in age or maturity. You could be someone thats very bubbly, clumsy, and full of energy. You have a childlike charm and your expressions are very sweet. I'm getting like how when little kids ask a question and they tilt their head while they do it. You just have this innocence to you but I also feel that you can be very mischievous. You could like to tease your peers and people find it very funny 😂. You could be very smart as well and do/did well in school! I'm getting that you're a teacher's pet and you always get good grades. You could give your teacher a hard time sometimes too (some of you could have talked too much in class and that would stress your teacher out LOL 😭). This pile honestly has me cracking up. You could also have a very big imagination. You could daydream a lot or fantasize about things a lot. People often wonder what you're thinking about when you do that. You could also have a lot of goals or are very creative. This pile gives off main character energy. It reminds me of Devi from Never Have I Ever or Jess from New Girl.

Who's sweet on you?:

Four of Wands, The Lovers, & Ten of Pentacles

I see that there's two cases for this pile. On one side you guys have a crush on someone or the other side they have someone who has a crush on them but despite that I'm seeing that the feelings are mutual for both parties! You know this person already and could be in the talking stage. I'm getting like a light, fun, flirty, playful energy between you and this person. You guys might have even already go on out on a date or will make plans to go out on a date soon. Which is so cute because as things develop and get more serious you both will realize that you're in love with each other 🤭. I'm having a vision of a couple blushing and being nervous to make eye contact 😭💓. This is going to be a long term relationship for sure and your families will be happy to see you guys together. I'm seeing like your families getting together for the holidays or coming together for dinner. For my younger kids in pile 9, this could mean your parents will allow you to date them, and when they introduce you to their parents, they will approve of the relationship so yay! 🥰

Thanks so much for reading! Have a nice day, here's a little treat 🍭🧁🍨🍬🍡🍦🧋🍧🍩

[starmocha]

Affinity 94 Phone Call — As You Wish

This entire phone call was so good, so I recorded the whole thing rather than try to pick a few moments.

Just...Sylus instinctively sensing something wrong from a social media post and calling to check in...and genuinely wanting to listen and comfort.

MC's feelings here are coinciding with how I've been feeling lately. I've been feeling like I'm heading into another depressive episode, so when I was listening to Sylus...I started crying IRL, because it felt like he was validating my own feelings instead of making me feel forced to bottle it up so others don't feel uncomfortable.

"I don't want to be my best self." — this hits so hard. I've been at this low point before, and it's such an isolating feeling when no one understands you and even villainize you for feelings beyond your control, so you just learn to keep things locked up and it festers horribly.

To hear Sylus say, "Give yourself a vacation" is...refreshing? It's almost like saying...you're allowed to rest. It's alright if you need to step back from everything. Find time for yourself.

"Rest if you're tired. Cry if you're sad." — the latter is what I needed to hear the most, because growing up with depression and anxiety, the number of times when I've had breakdowns, I was told to stop crying did more damage than good for my mental health. I love that he doesn't see crying as a weakness, a flaw, a hindrance, a discomfort for others, but rather, it's a necessity to help you heal.

Sylus basically saying, "Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better. I'll stay by your side." 🥺

Sylus being our ride or die ❤️‍🔥

"I'll run away with you." 🥺💞

He's not pressuring you to speak when you're not ready. He would rather you tell him yourself when you're comfortable instead of him prying.

Just...him validating your feelings, your frustration, your anger and sadness.

His voice is so soothing throughout, but especially in certain parts when he's comforting you. It felt like a warm embrace and a gentle kiss.

Group crying session - who's joining me 😭🫂❤️‍🩹

[dykeulous]

about me.

hello! i am apollo and i am aspiring to be an author and an activist someday. i come from a small, underdeveloped “post-socialist” country. i hope my blog will be helpful to everyone, and i try to be as open-minded on most topics as i can be. this is how i would describe myself:

i am a butch lesbian with heavy sex (& social) dysphoria. i would refer to myself as transmasc, and i am still very much trans-identified, as dysphoria has caused me much trouble over my formative years, and it has been making my life a true agonizing hell :)). i approach trans issues with sensitivity and criticism. i try my best not to be black-and-white about things; and i always try to be well-informed before speaking on anything. i love gender acceleration, and i would describe my views as gender critical. i am explicitly anti-racist, anti-capitalist & anti-imperialist. my views align with marxist feminism/proletarian feminism & radical feminism– which is why i would describe myself as a dual system feminist. my analysis & beliefs come from dialectical materialism, rather than idealism, which is why i’ve found myself in opposition with most trans rights activists. i am for abolishing the prison system, and i believe rehabilitation should be the goal, rather than punishment. drug addicts & recovering addicts have a special place in my heart ❤️‍🩹. i’m not vegan, but i appreciate & love all my ecofeminist sisters: i try my best to be vocal about animal liberation & climate activism. i believe the bpd diagnosis is being hyper-sold to female people, and this is because of medical misogyny & institutional sexism– it is being used as new age female hysteria. oh, and i’m also autistic. i love autistic women, and i wholeheartedly want to smash medical misogyny whenever i see how my neurodivergent sisters are being treated. 🇵🇸 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA PALESTINE WILL BE FREE!!!

my special interest is gender abolition (i’m very very passionate about this!!!) and marxist politics. my current hyperfixations are harry potter (i’m a slytherin 🐍), greek mythology & mlp. i unironically use the word kinnie; my highest kins are severus snape, twilight sparkle and diane nguyen. i love punk rock music, and i love riot grrrl. ask me about ww2, i used to be very hyperfixated on it last year– i reviewed a lot of ww2-themed movies critically & pointed their historical revisionism out. i am a slavic patriot by heart, and will punch a westerner who chooses to ignore our beautiful history. tito, lenin, che guevara, rosa luxemburg apologist. also i’m very interested in soviet history (the night witches are so fascinating!!), north korean culture & cuban cuisine.

if you wish to block me, go ahead. if you don’t, cool. i don’t block people, i allow a wide range of people to interact, and quite frankly, i think dni lists are useless. won’t hold back if you’re going to attack me. will engage in respectful arguments, and also will engage in disrespectful arguments, with the same energy you give me.

check out @pokegyns! it’s a group blog modded by nuancefem discord server members, owned by our precious pikalay @tirfpikachu.

links to some of the posts of mine i find quite useful for people who are going to hate-scroll through my blog, and also for people who are interested in radical feminism, but are scared we’re a hate group.

1. Intersex People, Transitioned Trans Women & Transitioned Trans Men

Are Trans Women Privileged?; Gender Socialization & Transmisogyny

Intersectionality Is Key: Our Issues Intersect, but They Differ

2. Feminist Praxis & Tactics: Separatism VS Proletarian Feminism; My Personal Critique of Radical Feminism

3. Transmedicalists VS Queer Theorists; Transmedicalism: The Sexism, Racism, and Classism

4. Listen to Dysphoric Voices

5. What Is Gender?; Gender Acceleration

6. The Word “Cis”

*Thread: Transness and Radical Feminism Can Coexist*

[delayed-affection]

Accomplishments

Back Series Next

Y/n.Hughes

Liked by lhughes_06, dawson1417, and 20,345 others

Y/n.Hughes I couldn’t be any prouder of these two 🥹 Congratulations on your first nhl game Moose, I wish I could’ve been there to see it ❤️‍🩹 And congratulations to Mr. Record breaker Jack 🥳 I love you both and I can’t wait to see what you two can do together ❤️🖤 can’t forget Quinn who beat the ducks 3-2 (suck it Z)🥰

Tagged: Jackhughes, lhughes_06, njdevils

View comments…

Jackhughes I love you too

Liked by y/n.Hughes

User4 she was so sweet up until the end 😭💀

Lhughes_06 stop responding to comments and answer my FaceTime

Y/n.Hughes 🫡

Trevorzegras why are you so mean to me?

Y/n.Hughes I have a better question

Trevorzegras what

Y/n.Hughes how does it feel to be owned by the Hughes’ ??

Njdevils our boys!!

User8 is she being nice to Jack…🤨

_quinnhughes happy to be included

Y/n.Hughes you’ll always be included 💙

Liked by _quinnhughes

Dawson1417 big things ahead 💪🏼

Markestapa miss you❤️

Edwards.73 see you soon bud

Y/n.Hughes you’re not allowed to leave

Subbanator Legends in the making

Liked by Y/n.Hughes

User0 We love a supportive sibling 🥹

[violetmuses]

Tandem - Multifandom (Part III) ❤️‍🩹

Title: Tandem - Multifandom (Part III) ❤️‍🩹

Fandoms: “Rebel Ridge” + “Bad Boys”

Characters: Terry Richmond + Armando Aretas

Love Interest: Female Reader

Main Storyline: When Terry Richmond arrives in Miami, who knows what could happen next?

Tandem Masterlist

@peaxhygirl @superstar-t20 @adoresmiles @klssngss @deja-r @hyper-trash-panda @amethyst-loves-bucky @planetblaque @sweettea-and-honeybutter @lovedlover @xjjawsomex @readingisahobby @kindofaintrovert @nelo0wesker @gg-trini @cloveroctobers @maliagurl @nobodygetsza @twinklestarslight @yassbishimvintage @episodes-ff @sweetiepie4190 @kirayuki22 @katbakhoe @persethegawd 🏷

=======

2024

Fresh out of the shower today, veteran Terry Richmond checked his cell phone and noticed that several pings brightened the device now.

AMMO weapons expert Kelly lined up the old group chat for her scheduled birthday party.

Wow.

Ever since you've chosen Armando, life has shifted for Terry. Richmond kept to himself for a while now, yet joy turned away.

Everyone else confirmed attendance, but Terry lingered his message, puzzled.

Refusing would disappoint Kelly, but attending this celebration might bring up the past.

Knowing better than to sulk alone, Richmond grounded pride and shot one text:

Rich: Just tell me when and where. Best wishes, K!

Kelly: Thanks, Terry. I'll keep you posted with details. See you soon! 😄

_____

“Silver or gold? I can't decide.” Armando held up two chains for his outfit this evening.

“Gold.” You smiled. “Now please hurry up. We'll be late.”

“Fine.” Aretas jokingly casted both eyes toward the ceiling and topped his dark haircut with shades, rocking gold for you.

*****

Blinding lights painted this venue when Terry stepped out. Kelly gathered everyone by the VIP level and joined her boyfriend, tech genius Dorn.

“Thanks for coming, Terry.” K stood. "Can I get you a drink?”

“You're welcome, but I'll have water. Thank you. I don't really go out.” Richmond offered.

“That's okay.” Kelly understood that point without judgment and one server handed Richmond the glass.

“Um, sorry for asking, but where….” Observant, Richmond couldn't help looking for you and Armando.

Not responding, Kelly just smirked and walked away. Even Dorn lifted both hands.

Intrigued, Richmond excused himself, planned to search.

________

Red spotlights illuminated the corridor when Terry found you chatting with Aretas.

“Left early?” Terry crossed both arms while standing here and you stepped away from Armando.

“Waiting for the cake.” Aretas wouldn't fight in public.

“Hello.” Terry held enough common sense to avoid drama, but still noticed your wardrobe.

“Hi.” Despite everything, your own smile brightened.

No matter what, Terry's heart raced again and you looked so pretty right now.

Tried to move on, but I actually miss you. Richmond thought.

Dates were nice, but chances grew old, especially when no one else welcomed Terry like you had.

Come back, Baby Girl. Please?

______

“Happy birthday dear Kelly! Happy birthday to you.”

Sparklers greeted this moment when the cake arrived and everyone watched Kelly blow out vibrant candles.

“Thanks, everybody. Get home safe and take care.” Kelly offered gratitude as the night would end, prompting you and Armando to leave.

“I'll drive.” Armando nearly whispered to you in the parking lot as Richmond would exit.

“Of course. Are you excited to visit ‘Princess’ tomorrow?” You giggled, planning to see Armando's little sister.

“Yeah.” Armando took the driver's seat once more, but noticed Richmond lingered by his own truck.

“Hey. Sorry to bother you, man. C'mere for a second.” Terry gestured to Armando.

“Probably out of gas.” You frowned.

“Be right back.” Armando kissed your cheek and steps from the car, still allowing you to see both men.

_____

“What's going on?” Aretas quickly Richmond dapped up here.

“Could be worse. How are y'all doing?” Terry stayed cordial.

“We're good.” Armando nodded by your side of the vehicle. “Going home in a minute.”

“Be safe.” Terry looked out regardless.

“You too. See you around.” Armando kept offering his slightly accented English to say goodbye.

Terry watched the car roll out as upbeat music encouraged your smile again.

Damn.

*****

Enjoying the nightclub through Kelly's birthday party, you moved back from comfort zones and started work again, joining as one of the dancers.

Sleazy patrons would arrive with foolishness, but everyone knew Armando and stayed upfront, given no other choice while still respecting you.

Despite knocking makeup alone, others checked your wardrobe just before you'd step out.

Yet, timing didn't even warn you about the next client.

One chair reached that neon stage, but Terry walked from the hall and sat down.

Keeping questions at bay, you pulled everything together and let music drop. You've played along, but give enough sense to avoid chaos right here.

His striking eyes locked your moving presence as you just swayed and revealed the flawless body that Richmond will never hold.

Regardless of decency, Richmond ached, wishing that time stood in a different way here.

When the music drifted out and voices cheered, you walked off, clicking steps away like nothing happened.

No matter what took place earlier, you'll drive home and sleep with Armando like a good girl, straight up forgetting that Terry existed.

[swagglessmoth]

One of the things that I LOVE about Shadows Blinding and marks it as one of my favourite fics ever, is the relationship between Sakumo and Kakashi.

Lots of spoilers (obviously)

In most fics, Kakashi’s feelings towards Sakumo aren’t really explored in a complex way. Mostly they go as far as him missing his father, we see his grief and loneliness deepening with each lose of a loved one over the years, until as an adult he heals and grows to understand his father’s decision and forgiving him. Which is completely okay! I love those fics, I love the progress as we see Kakashi healing over time. But most that I’ve seen don’t usually dwell into Sakumo’s suicide that much and the heavy impact it would have on a child at that age, that would later follow them to adulthood. Choosing instead to focus on the impact either team Minato or team 7 had on his life (which, fair, it is A LOT, but you get my point).

In Pesto’s (author) interpretation, things go a bit differently: Kakashi does miss his father, but at the same time he still deeply resents him for what he did, just like he did when he was a kid and trying to not be like his father. Except he hasn’t exactly grown out of this bitterness. For scarring him for life and leaving him alone at such a young age; for sending him to what’s essentially a cult, leaving him trapped with a family he’s not familiar with; for leaving such a deep mark, that even if he tries to escape him and the clan, they’re in every little part of his life. Such as his most signature quality, his mask, only existing because Kakashi reminded Sakumo of his brother. He hates all of this.

This Kakashi never healed from what happened, so caught up in all the deaths happening around him that he never really had time to even process it. He doesn’t even allow himself to miss his father because of all this resentment, and that’s not something that just goes away. This is why I love his relationship with Kosuke, the way Kakashi wishes he’d allowed himself to miss his father despite what he did like Kosuke does. (OH AND THAT SCENE THEY HAD AT THE END. KOSUKE MISSING KAKASHI IN SPITE OF THAT HE DID, LIKE HE MISSES HIS FATHER 😭😭😭😭😭 OUGHH IT’S SO SADD ❤️‍🩹🥀⛓️🚬🐺)

That sense of hate is engraved in him, and it is amplified by the fact that Sakumo giving him that seal essentially made him loose everything he’s known and loved once again. His whole world is destroyed, the people he loved have forgotten about him (also they are dead) (and let’s not even mention Obito). All this time he’s had his team as a source of light at the end of the tunnel, something to fight for. But he’s lost that, and with his clan that’s basically a cult and that wrinkly bitch Nana running around ruining everything, he really has nowhere to go. That one split-second decision, even if done in good faith, ruined his life.

«Tou-san fucked up» indeed (or however the quote went I don’t wanna look it up)

YOOO THAT’S WHY THE SEQUEL’S GONNA BE FIREE 🔥 🔥🔥🔥 Kakashi expecting to come back to a wasteland and being prepared to start digging graves for his dead friends (everyone bro) and instead finding an alternate-timeline Sakumo. We’re getting that deeply awkward and uncomfortable father-son bonding YEAHH 💪💪

Oh and don’t even get me started on this new timeline bro. How baby Ino appearing in the epilogue implies that this is at a point in time shortly after what would’ve been the Kyubi attack (we don’t know how Kannabi went so idk if it even happened) Rin and Obito would be around 14, 16 max. And Minato and Kushina would be around 22-24. Kakashi here is like 30, he is NOT getting his team back. And that’s without counting that with Kakashi dying by birth on this universe, there would be another kid in his place. Knowing that no other kid their age was jounin at the time, they might’ve not even been assigned for the Kannabi Bridge mission or at least done it with Minato, which already elevates their chances of survival.

He might not even get to meet team 7 personally. They’re babies rn and he’s a complete stranger to the village, a stranger on Kage level might I add (I don’t think it’s too far fetched to say that, he’s VERY powerful now, and he did become the sixth hokage without this power-up so 🤷‍♂️). They’re NOT letting him near the babies bro ❌😿

He’s alone with his father (whom he kind of hates and doesn’t know) in a world that doesn’t know him AT ALL. We have all the time in the world for group therapy, Kakashi’s gonna be demanding ANSWERS. Or maybe he’ll say “fuck this” and become a kind-of-missing-nin-but-not-really-bc-he’s-not-from-THIS-Konoha that stalks the village to make sure his loved ones don’t die this time. Yeah, I could see that happening tbh.

Idk I’m just ranting, this is gonna be messy and I’ll love every second of it 💞

[unsuredreamer]

Hi how detailed are we allowed to make requests? And do you have a preferred genre that you enjoy writing? 😩your girl is trying to make these reqs perfect or at least perfect enough for you.

Oh my love, anything is perfect for me!

Of course, the most detailed ones are gods' work 🙌🏻 So I'm always up for these, but do as you wish, ml. I'm truly happy for every request

I don't have a preferred genre, but i do love me some fluff ❤️‍🩹

whatever coming from you will be perfect!

[liam-summers]

Here's something I'd love to know if other Bangel fans out there have noticed.

In the episode Bad Eggs, when Buffy and Angel are having a conversation in the cemetery about what Buffy would want her future to look like she says "Angel when I look into the future all I see is you, all I want is you." and Angel says "I know the feeling." and they begin kissing and the camera pans out to a gravestone that says 'In Loving Memory' and what 2 episodes are next?

Surprise and Innocence.

Such a purposeful moment placed there for us to know Buffy and Angel would never be this version of themselves again. And yet it's profoundly beautiful.

Hi! I’m sorry for the late response!

Oh my goodness, of course I’ve noticed it and knowing what comes next makes it so heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹

That is actually one of my favourite bangel scenes and I feel like the part where Buffy says “All I see is you, All I want is you” is often misunderstood as her being naive. But that take just never sat right with me because I don’t think it’s giving Buffy enough credit. There’s this bit of dialogue in the shooting script that was cut from the episode that I think paints a completely different, and very interesting perspective, about her train of thought in this scene:

I really wish they had kept this in the episode because it shows that Buffy’s response comes from a place of self awareness and not a place of naivety. She knows exactly what she’s saying and who she’s saying it to. Angel is the only one who can truly understand the burden that she feels and her inability to think about the future, both because he is immortal and because he straddles the human world and the demon world but doesn’t really belong to either, just like her. She’s telling him that she understands the dark truth of her calling: that she likely won’t get to live as long as a normal person would. And it makes so much sense that she would have this awareness, considering she literally died the previous year. So, all she can really allow herself to see is the happiness that she feels right now, which for her is being with someone she can relate to, someone who understands her, someone who loves her as she is (both girl and slayer), someone who can support her both physically and emotionally, and that someone is Angel. All of this also makes what happens next even more devastating by adding more layers to this profound loss that she (and really both of them) goes through.

I think what’s so beautiful about Buffy and Angel is that although they may never be able to be this version of themselves again, they DO grow from what happens and their relationship adapts and changes over the years…It doesn’t just end here and despite all the crap they’ve gone through, they’re still able to be a source of love, support and inspiration for each other in different ways.

Anyway, I think I may have gotten a little carried away lol but I just have a lot of thoughts about this scene and I thought this was the perfect opportunity to share them!

Thanks for the ask 💖

[greg-montgomery]

����

someone remind me that just bc i’m going through something (i lost a loved one) doesn’t mean i’m allowed to make silly choices 🤪

i won’t actually make said choices bc i love and respect myself but just for a moment it’s nice to let myself think “hey i could maybe just once do this” bc i’m vulnerable so it’s alright, it’s justified. and he’s been begging me to meet him and he’s been acting like his old self so he’s the one stepping on his pride not me. and also is it a coincidence he texted me again the day before i lost her? (it is)

again i won’t do it - i just catch myself wishing i wasn’t acting this mature (?) and could find comfort in his arms for a bit. i had nightmares all night and sleep paralysis but if he was holding me through it, it would all be better.

i know he’s not who i thought he was but i used to find so much comfort in his arms and every time i think i’m out of it and over it i seem to go back to craving it.

just wanted to let it all out ❤️‍🩹 it’s kinda all hitting at once

[jaegersmoon]

hello aim,

I just wanted to remind you how much "okay, bambi" means to me (also it just hit me that I've been reading this for literally years now? omg! I'm soooo happy to see how much people have come here since you first published it💕). I said this a long time ago but it remains as true as ever and it's just that, having so much in common with y/n, is both super weird and interesting. Sometimes it feels like you open up my skull to take a little peak inside at some of my most traumatic or special moments and then, somehow you pour them on your magnificent work. It's VERY healing but also scary due to the accuracy, hence why I have to build courage sometimes to sit and read a chapter in case something triggers a memory or a feeling I might've forgotten. However, to get my pain kissed away by Jean and all your wonderful characters (along with this growing community) is so comforting❤️‍🩹 I'm extremely grateful.

Currently, I'm 6 chapters behind yeah, I know. I can't believe I allowed so much time pass by but I hope I'll be able to finish them next week- Anyway, I hope you know how much your work has helped, comforted and entertained me and many others. You're amazing Aim. Thank you for sharing this with us, keep the great work and please take care of yourself💕

hi baby !!! im so sorry to know that you relate to some of the different things that i have written in my book but i am also glad that have been able to find comfort in it. for you to consider it healing and to feel seen and hurt within your trauma and hardships truly means everything to me.

thank you for taking this time to write out this message to me. you’ll never know how much joy it brings me and how much it pushes me to keep writing. love you forever and ever and wish you nothing but the absolute best in this crazy world 🤍🤍🤍

[redactedgeek]

a love letter to You and I

To the unfortunate ✨🥀 (or most fortunate 😌🌻 - perhaps neutral? 👀🌱) Soul who sees this:

I wonder what sort of state You’d consider yourself in… The possibilities are thought-wringing. Yes 🙂. Thought-wringing cx

This… may be an attempt to do a life check-in. Sooo, if you’d like to do one with me, please feel free -^u^- 🌸

aight c: Status report: Overwhelmed at everything. Not doing well; multiple breakdowns in a single week alone. Saw burnout from a distance, and promised to treat self with unconditional love, and did best not to take anything out on others. Positive at beginning and “keeping head up.” Proud of self for coming this far [;before, I beat myself up every time I wasn’t able to do what I felt I “needed” to do. Now, I accept that sometimes I do get knocked down, and I allow it to happen, and I do my best to heal while my theoretically burning body lays there].

I am a fool 🤧. For laying there and not rolling around [sometimes I lay in bed, on my phone for hours and declare that “rest” :’) ]. For not yelling out for help or in pain [lashing out because I keep holding everything in; regardless of the reason, I know I haven’t done my part to communicate 😔]. For patching up the wounds and expecting it to be better immediately, moving in such a way that the wounds open up again so it takes even longer to heal than if I had cared for the wound [isolating, and then coming out of isolation from fear-based reasons instead of from actually taking care of myself, so I isolate even more because I’m so exhausted running on negative stress-adrenaline ☹️].

There are two - perhaps three or four? - options I can choose from about what can I do with the above-information:

A: Conclude I can never do anything right and allow that to define me as a person and continue spiraling in the unalchemized darkness. “I try and it doesn’t work. I can’t do anything right. 😀👍✨”

B: Conclude that while I have work to do on the way that I do some things, I acknowledge that I am doing my best with what I have and what I know. Each time I am knocked down, I have an opportunity to be still, reflect on my experiences, and learn what works and what doesn’t. “I tried, and while that didn’t work, this did. I can do more of this and see if it works more. 😌💕”

X: Conclude that I am tired, I just wanna have a good time now, and I push this to future me to handle this because [think nihilism]. “Hey, Ego, here’s something for you [quick fix: ‘you’re doing your best, everyone makes mistakes. Just don’t think about it and move on. It’s fun to be silly li’l guy anyway.] 🤭”

Y: Conclude that each and every one of these are options that are valid, fluid, and each have their own unique consequences. I don’t judge choices that people make because I understand and each of us are on our own made-perfectly-for-us journeys (which I think is wonderful and amazing because we are all embarking on our paths on this Earth together! On the same planet and stuffs! And no matter what we might believe, we’re not alone!), and I should allow myself that same, nonjudgmental freedom >×< I conclude that, since I love myself, I do my best to carry out options that I would hope a loved one carries out. I want the best for my loved ones, and so I want the best for myself. And I hope… by sharing this… this helps more precious souls too uwu 👉👈💕

Now, refer to the beginning. What sort of state are You in? What are you going to do (or not do) with it? :] genuinely curious

[Whatever your answer is, I send you so much love, I wish for you the support You specifically need at this time. And we shan’t forget - there is an abundance of blessings within and all around us! I hope hope hope you accept the blessings meant for You. 143 infinity style ❤️‍🩹♾️]

[chronicpaingirlie]

Do you have any tips on dealing with the feeling of not doing enough as a disabled person? I’m autistic and can’t help but feel like I should be making more things (even more now that the middle of the year it’s coming and I could count in a hand everything I did this year) even though somedays I can’t barely get out of bed and eat breakfast…

I hope today is being gentle with you and that you are having a good (or better) day! ❤️‍🩹

i get that feeling so much :( im sorry you’re dealing with it, it fuckin sucks :/ 🫂

tbh i dont have like . a Solution or whatever (as much as i wish i did) but something that’s helped me a Lot is realizing that sometimes you’re allowed to just like. spend your energy keeping afloat, if that makes sense?

the last year & a half for me have been spent largely in bed, recovering from whatever small things ive managed to get done & weathering the chronic pain and fatigue. and ive decided this last year & a half is dedicated to rest & recovery. i dont have to accomplish anything. i can just exist. it takes some work & doesn’t always help, but changing my mindset about that has done a lot for me.

also, this comic has been SO helpful for my mindset as well. honestly since becoming a disabled person, my definition of “accomplishing things” has had to change a Lot. my art has become mostly small doodles or doing color by numbers on my phone while i lay in bed. ive barely had the energy to write anything at all.

im working on remembering that making “little things” (e.g., a tiny little doodle) and making “big things” (e.g., a whole piece of art that takes days/weeks to make) both have the “making” part in common. recognizing that “big” accomplishments aren’t inherently better than “small” ones is a big way that ive felt more okay about doing less than i used to.

anyway! that got long & rambly but i hope it helps even a little :( 🫂🫂🫂 this shit sucks & im proud of you just for getting through this year. i hope today is gentle to you & im sending you so much love ❤️‍🩹💞

[suicideassistance]

I’m the anon that will bake you brownies first and asked about your preference on willing vs unwilling kills.

I’ll use this emoji if it’s okay with you sir when I send in anon asks ❤️‍🩹

I’m thankful you and this account exist

I’m planning to kms in January. I wish you were doing it instead of me 🥺

It's more than okay, my dear. However, I cannot allow you to kill yourself. I know life is chaos, and death is promised peace. But if you want me to kill you, truly. I need you to keep yourself alive until it's time for me to do so.

Hang on, little minnow. I'm coming for you.

[simply-x-living]

hello 💌

🪆, 🧺,❤️‍🩹, and 🕯️for the ask game, please?

Hi there 😊

🪆What do I love about being a woman?

I love the softness of a woman, we’ve all come across women who are beacons of light and softness and I love that, I want to encompass that type of energy. I love dressing up in cute flowery dresses and doing my hair in rollers. I love seeing beauty in the world and as a woman being able to create that beauty.

🧺 What characteristics do you class as feminine? What ones do you wish to attain or lose?

Softness, sweet, being able to empathise with others and provide emotional support for them. Having a sense of playfulness is also very feminine (doing this can also bring it out in men as well which I absolutely adore!)

I also think having a strong sense of morality and what is right as being very feminine, we hate to see injustice because of our ability to empathise (at least that’s me) reminds of like mumma bear fearlessness when it comes to protecting innocence.

I wish to work on my softness both physically and behaviourally. I feel like the world has definitely dampened that for me and I’m working on bringing that back.

❤️‍🩹 Is there anything you dislike about being a woman how do you make it more bearable?

Well I think like most women one of things we dislike is our “monthlies” - at very least it’s a huge inconvenience and the most it’s incredibly painful. The way I’ve made it more bearable is to work with it not against it. Eat, exercise and rest with my cycle. This makes it not only physically more bearable but also allows me to figure out what’s wrong. I also remind myself if I’m menstruating it means I’m fertile which is a great thing! And I want to do everything I can to help support my fertility.

🕯️ If your spiritual/religious, how do incorporate it with your femininity?

I am religious. I would say Christian although Catholicism is also very interesting and I’ll be doing research on different denominations soon to find the one for me. One thing I’ve found myself doing is going to this beautiful cathedral near where I work and there’s a section to pray in front of the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus. I find myself praying that the Virgin Mary can help me with my femininity, help soften me. I don’t know if it is appropriate but I find it soothing, I think she represents biblical femininity and I want to encompass that as well.

Thank you 🙏🏻 💕