#all your responses made me so happy
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@gyuminusone hehehe ahhh I'm glad you liked it ❤️ thank you for readinggg
@hongtyong yayy, ngl I could picture it in my head but I wasn't sure if it made sense when I wrote? I'm happy you enjoyed it 🫂❤️
@letsplayitcool aaaahhh hi again my love, I hope you had a fun time reading 🤭
@baedreamverse hehehehe something she doesn't want even us to know so poor cheol 🥲
@melodicrabbit yayyy I'm glad, thank you for reading ❤️
The Intruder's Eye (CSC)
Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it didn't make one want to keep an eye at all times?
Pairing - Afab!reader x Choi Seungcheol
Word count - 6K (I failed the below 5k challenge T.T)
Genre - Oof buckle up my friends. This is a halloween special so I tried not hold back - its a psycho-thriller, there's smut and a whole lot of pyscho-ness whelp Warnings under the cut!
A/n - It's the week leading up to Halloween folks! Unfortunately I'm not the biggest fan of clowns and ghosts and vampires etc, but I do love me a good dose of psychos (who I think are scarier btw) so here you goooo! You can also check out Jeonghan's and Joshua's!
Again @tusswrites and @tomodachiii - what would I do without y'all 🫂 this piece is basically all you guys!
warnings - intruder in the house, mentions of stalking, medications, deranged characters, triggering descriptions of a home intrusion, smut, homemade porn (lol), bondage (mouth and hands), blowjobs, cum eating, riding, rough sex, mentions of toys and anal, manhandling, psycho behaviour, please forgive me I can only allow myself to be this unhinged during spooky season
It was the soft pitter patter of the rain against the car window that woke you up.
Slowly fluttering your eyes open, you looked out down the dark, lonely road on the other side, at the street lights were still obscured by the downpour. It's not as torrential as it was when you stepped out of the grocery store a while ago. It was too heavy for you to even drive then so you settled in your car for a while, waiting for the rain to get less harsh. You didn't realise when you fell asleep.
Looking at the 8pm flashing on your phone screen and the way darkness had engulfed everything around, a strange panic rose in you. You weren't really afraid of staying out too late but given the things that had been happening around you recently - you didn't want to take the risk.
Turning on the engine and shifting the gears, you took a deep breath, and started driving towards home.
The street was empty for the most part - not many cars were on the road given the warnings for the incoming storm earlier that day. You didn't have a choice but to leave - you were suddenly running low on supplies, the shopping list in your hand was almost a page long. You glanced at the groceries at the backseat with a satisfied sigh - guess the newfound cardio routine was doing a good job in working up your appetite.
As you neared your house, the streets became more illuminated, much to your relief. Unlike the rest of the town, your neighbourhood was a much safer space - there were streetlights, surveillance cameras and disguised cops always patrolling the area. Most people who resided here didn't know but many of the inhabitants of these row houses were in fact people placed on witness protection. You knew because you were one of them.
One year ago, your testimony in a high profile case had led to some very bad people finding themselves behind bars. In exchange, you were promised protection, leading to your identity being morphed and your life being relocated to this locality. You were promised that nothing would happen to you here, that you would be very safe. You believed it then, but not so much now - not when you turned into your street and noticed the camera at the end of it was short circuited. Perhaps the storms over the last few days had a hand in it.
You didn’t think much of it.
But maybe you should.
Because as you grabbed your groceries and ran to the door, fishing for your keys, you realised you didn't need them. The door was not locked.
You racked your brains to remember if you had locked the door before you left or if you were in too much of a hurry to beat the incoming rain. Your memory is a little fuzzy, it has been like that for awhile, but you were too cold and aching to just get inside to give it any further thought.
You must've forgotten to lock it - what other explanation could there possibly be?
Balancing the bags in one hand, you slowly pushed the door open as you stepped in, flipping the switches with bated breath.
Everything seemed fine, nothing felt out of place. Releasing a breath you tell yourself that everything is fine - you were clearly overthinking things. Paranoia had been a part of your life ever since the proceedings of that case - you were always wary, always suspicious, always scared. Though, you shouldn't be feeling that way anymore, you had taken your medication - you should be fine.
But how were you supposed to feel fine when every small thing made the hair on your skin stand. Like the curtains in the living room being open for example. You never kept the curtains open, especially not since your new neighbour moved in a few months ago.
He called himself Choi Seungcheolwhen he knocked on the door to offer an introduction. You didn't know if that was his real name or the one the cops had given him as a part of the programme. Either way you didn't ask him lest he might ask you yours in return - you didn't need your identity compromised, not when the gang of those convicts was still actively looking for you. You had simply nodded and shut the door.
Since then, you’ve always had the curtains closed. You had to, because somehow every time you looked out, Seungcheol was by his window, watching you. If you were being honest, Seungcheol was hot as fuck and a year ago, if a man like that was interested in you, you wouldn't have let him go. But things were different now - you couldn't trust anyone anymore.
Walking up to the window, you stumbled over the dumbbell in the way as you glanced at the neighbouring house. The two of your houses were the only ones on the street that weren't covered in Halloween decorations. It made sense - you were both single and did not have to deal with whining, crying, demanding children so there was no need for this facade.
But you weren’t that lackluster, you did buy and keep some candy for the trick or treaters though you wouldn’t know if Seungcheol had done the same - he didn't seem too particularly fond of children. He never let them near the house. In fact he never let anyone into his house. You had never seen a woman or a friendly face from town or even a family member step into his place - he pretty much always kept to himself. It’s not like anyone else in this neighborhood had the luxury for such anyway.
At present, there was no sight of him or even his silhouette, with how the curtains of his house were drawn but all the lights were still on. Sighing a little in relief, you do the same, shutting the blinds. Still feeling the weight of the dumbbell against your foot, you pushed it out of the way, wondering how it had displaced itself from the rest of the workout equipment in the first place. You hadn’t even used those in a while now.
Still lost in thought, you walked into the kitchen and as you turned the lights on, a shiver ran down your spine.
Something was off, something did not seem right.
At first glance everything seemed fine, but looking again carefully–nothing seemed right. The apron wasn't in its usual place by the spice rack, you don’t recall leaving out a glass of water on the counter, or leaving a packet of corn chips open. You never leave things out when you leave, you always put them away.
But things like this had been happening ever since you started your medication. You were more forgetful, and that was inconvenient but without your daily dosage it was like a fight between your nerves and caution - anything that moved invoked fear in you, every small sound made you shiver. There was no choice but to take those pills everyday. It was the only think keeping you sane.
Shaking your head, you organized everything back in place again. Everything was fine. You had taken an extra dosage right before you left the house, you were just a little fazed from all the chemicals. Surely it was just your imagination, it wasn't like anyone could have entered the house in your absence….right?
But there was a half eaten bowl of cereal in the sink and you… you were lactose intolerant, you didn't drink milk - that couldn't be yours. Hands shaking, you took a step back.
Someone was in this house.
Quickly opening the drawer, you grabbed a knife, gripping the handle hard and tight. The only question was, were they still in the house?
Wiping the sweat off your face, you took a small careful step out of the kitchen.
It was quiet, deadly quiet, there was not a sound to be heard, but the hum of the electrical appliances and the soft patter of the rain outside. Then you heard it, ears sharp and sensitive to the sound of water dripping. Slowly you moved towards the washroom, holding your weapon out, breath shaking.
When you cautiously pushed the door open you noticed the floor was wet, water leaking from the shower head, drop after drop. You've never had this problem before, did you have a plumbing issue?
Stepping in, you tried to fix the faucet with your free hand. But no matter how many times you adjusted the hardware, water continued to drip, rendering you unsuccessful in your attempts. It felt like a really strong hand had broken the tap which was silly because you were definitely careful with how you handled your things? Neither could have broken this nor clearly, could you fix it. Annoyed by your failure and the thought of calling maintenance, you stepped out of the shower, catching sight of yourself in the mirror.
There was a strange tiredness etched all over your features, hiding a stranger something behind it. Your eyes had sunken further into their sockets, thin wisps of hair framing your face - You’ve definitely had better days and was… was that a knife in your hand?
You glanced at it quizzically. Why did you step into the shower with a knife?
Softly smacking your head at your silliness, you walked back into the living room, leaving the tap for another day. Half yawning with tiredness were ready to retire for the night when your eyes fell on the grocery bags still waiting for you on the table - you had forgotten about it. Groaning at the thought of having to put everything away, you set the knife on the dining table and grabbed your purchases instead, taking them into the pantry. Perhaps it was because you were too deeply immersed in your organisation, but your otherwise sharp ears missed the rustling of the leaves outside, crunching under someone’s footsteps.
Going through the grocery checklist scribbled in horrible handwriting to make sure you had gotten everything, you swiftly began putting them all in their place. The pastas in the jars, the fruits in the baskets, the sauces in the tray. The heaviest thing you bought was perhaps those huge jars of protein powder. You weren't really sure why you decided to buy it - sure your doctor said you were too weak and needed to exercise to build strength but you didn't need to buy all of the products the Internet recommended to you.
Telling yourself you'll find use for it later, you pushed them onto the shelves and turned to the meat instead, throwing them into the fridge. You didn't really know how to cook meat too well but you wanted to try. Seungcheol had once grilled some meat in his backyard and came over to offer you a few bites. When you tried to take it from him at the door, he pulled his hand back and cocked his head.
“Are you not going to invite me inside?”
He was always trying to make a move on you like that. You knew what he wanted, you knew what he had his eyes on but the answer was, no. You could take the deliciously cooked meat from him but couldn't let him into the house. It was too soon to trust him.
But Seungcheol was relentless.
It was evident with how he was the only one in town who turned up at the video store where you worked. And he came everyday. Normal people didn't borrow a new movie everyday, right? Clearly he was flirting with you. Or at least he was trying to. You only ever behaved professionally with him . Except sometimes, when he asked for movie recommendations of a very specific genre. You didn't really know many serial killer documentaries or crime podcasts to suggest, so you would simply ask a colleague to take over. Over the days, you watched him consume every last bit of thrillers available in the store and distantly wondered if he had a life outside of this consumption.
Perhaps not. Seungcheol seemed a bit odd like that.
He talked to everyone in town but didn't really seem to have any friends. He wasn't home for days together sometimes - you didn't really know the nature of his job so you couldn't tell why his absence was so frequent. He always drove that tiny pickup truck of his with some weird boxes and bags hidden under big blue plastic sheets in the trunk. .
The whole deal about him was just not right. You knew something about him was not right. Even though he was incredibly pleasant on the eye, you had to be wary of him.
You had to be wary of everything. .
But maybe you weren't always as alert as you should be. Because it was only as you were putting away the last of the snacks that you heard that sound - the thumping.
It seemed like it was coming from outside…. Or was it upstairs? It felt like it was coming from right above, like the sound of someone's feet.
And just like that,, you remembered the intruder again - the one who might still be in your home.
Quickly you rushed to grab the knife from the table once more and held it out in defense. Whoever came to the house was most definitely still here, you could feel it in your bones.
As you slowly made your way towards the stairs, trying to maintain a soft footfall to avoid the creaking of the stairs, another sound took you aback.
No, not your racing heart - The doorbell.
Turning sharply, you glanced at the door with wide eyes. Who could it possibly be? At this late hour?
The ringing only became more persistent, morphing into knocks while you inched towards the door, grip on the knife tightening.
As you slowly pressed down the handle and slightly opened the door, you were met with cheerful voices, much to your relief.
“Happy Halloween!”
Before you was a tiny ghost, a pirate, a couple of princesses and a buzz lightyear, all half your height, looking at you surprised.
“Ms. L/n!”
“Hey kiddos.”
“Where's Mr. Choi?” The pirate pouted. “We thought we could finally get him to be nice to us, hand us some treats.”
“Aw.” You pinched his cheek with your free hand. The one that was not hiding the knife behind the door. “Mr. Choi isn't in town sadly.”
The little kid looked at you quizzically. “Then what are you doing in his house?”
.
.
.
Oh.
You blinked at him while he looked up at you expectantly.
Then your lips split into a sweet, saccharine smile.
“He asked me to look after it while he was gone.”
“When will Mr. Choi be back?”
You glanced at the inquisitive little ghost, fiddling with the knife in your hand.
Please, please don't make me use this.
“Do you want an answer or candy?” You cocked your head cheekily. “I'm only giving out one.”
“Candy!” They screamed as you laughed and reached for the packet you had just bought, ripping it open with the knife.
They watched excitedly as you dropped handfuls of chocolate into their little baskets and plastic pumpkins. With a scream of “Ms. L/N is the best!” they scurried away to their next target of the night. And so did you, tossing the knife onto the table once again.
You clutched your head and released a low hiss of irritation at the dull throb.Those stupid medicines were really getting to your head now, you were forgetting too many important things. Thank fuck for the children, otherwise you would have never remembered what really had to be done.
Locking the door behind you, you quickly made your way up the stairs. There was no need to head softly - the stairs had a tendency to creak in your house, not in Seungcheol’s.
The thumping from earlier was more pronounced now as your senses slowly cleared up, much like how the light flooded from underneath the bedroom door. The soft thumps are getting louder and louder as you neared it. With a twist of the knob and swing of the door, you tilt your head with a smile.
Light flooded from underneath the bedroom door, the soft thumping sound getting louder and louder as you neared it. Opening it wide, you cocked your head with a smile.
There he was.
Sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, Seungcheol was looking gorgeous as ever. He was dressed in just his grey sweatpants, the thick muscles of his shoulders and pecs bared before you. His biceps too were popping on either side thanks to the fact that his hands were tied at the back of the chair. Oh and his mouth was gagged shut, his words turning into muffled whimpers as he looked at you wide eyed, halting the stomping of his feet.
“I know, I know, I'm sorry.” You raised your hands apologetically. “I meant to be back soon but you know how I am, forgetful little me. I'm sorry baby.” You neared him, walking around his chair, bending to whisper in his ear. “But I see you're having your fun.”
Your eyes flickered from the tent in his pants to the laptop you left on for his entertainment, right in the line of his vision. You see yourself on the screen, dressed in the hottest lingerie you owned, looking right in the camera with the vibrator held just where you needed him and only one name spilling from your mouth - Seungcheol.
This wasn't the video you played from him before you left for the grocery store - perhaps they were auto playing, lucky him. You had hours of such footage of yourself - in all kinds of positions, with every possible toy, in role play costumes, in every possible color of lingerie, you had an unmatchable variety. The only thing common among all of them was his name. Choi Seungcheol.
Could you be blamed? The man was unbelievably attractive. It wasn't like you didn't try to avoid him, to repel all that magnetism. You were well aware of your nature - it hadn't been long since you had gotten a chance to start afresh and you didn't want to spiral again. You really really didn't.
But Seungcheol was persistent. He wouldn't stop flirting with you at any given chance, he kept trying to invite himself home, he was consistently intrusive. You kept him at bay for the longest time, at least until the day you had to return the box he had left with you, the one in which he gave you the grilled meat.
You didn't expect him to open the door with his shirt off, slick with sweat, flushed and half panting. When you caught sight of the dumbbells behind him, could tell he was working out but somehow you couldn't help but think this was probably how he looked when he fucked and god did that make your mouth water.
That day he shouldn't have invited you in. Then you wouldn't have found your resolve crumbling so weakly. You wouldn't have found yourself under him being pounded like there was no tomorrow. You wouldn't have crossed the line like this.
What started that day set off a cascade of events. Sleeping with Seungcheol became quite a regular act - there was no part of you that he had left unexplored, untouched. He was in every crevice, every cell, you were entirely consumed by him. When you were at work, all you could think about was how well he fucked you the day before. When you were on the way home, all you could think about was how well he was going fuck you today. Even after you reached, you always made it a point to immediately wash up, wear your nicest underwear and knock on his door. You always did it at his house.
He did try to come to your place a couple of times but you consistently steered the two of you back to his house somehow. It was one thing to let him cum in you but to come into your house? You couldn’t have that happening, he’d ask too many questions - why do you never use the garage Y/n? Why was it always locked Y/n? Why did you have a ridiculous number of gardening tools in your house when you don’t even grow any plants Y/n? You knew the questions wouldn't seize and the answers weren’t good for him. They weren't good for anyone who's heard them all these years.
Another reason you didn't want him home was because you didn't want to ruin the surprise.
Now, Seungcheol was a self-sufficient man. He was happy with himself, his life, his home, his solitude. It was evident all he was looking for in you was a good fuck - afterall, he would never ask you to stay the night or to be his girlfriend even though you'd been seeing each other for months. You were okay with that….. for now. The two of you were still exploring, still understanding each other's bodies and limits. You didn't mind him taking his time, you needed your time as well.
You see, Seungcheol loved his home. He loved every piece of furniture, every bowl, every mat - he was incredibly fond of his space, taking all the time and effort in the world to curate it. You, on the other hand, didn't really care much for your house. As long as it could fulfill basic needs and keep you safe, you were good - it wasn't like you stayed for long in one place anyways. But your heart knew that you wanted to stay with Seungcheol for the rest of your life. There was something dark about him too that told you he belonged with you the way you belonged to him. You wanted him to feel like he belonged to you too, you wanted him to feel at home with you. You wanted to be his home.
That's why you took months together to design and turn your house into an identical replica of Seungcheol’s.
And when you say replica you mean down to the T. Everything was the same. You made sure it was the same. All those times he was away for days together thanks to his job, you found yourself slipping into his house taking detailed notes of every object, every piece. You would only see, not touch or take anything away. Come on, you were no thief, thieves are bad people..
After that you had spent all your time online or going from store to store, finding originals and duplicates of his belongings. Given that he loved to have really exclusive pieces in his house they were not easy to procure but with a little sweet talk, a little threatening and a little unspeakable things, you had somehow managed to bring them all home. To the home you were making for him.
Earlier this week, you had gotten hold of the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle - a childhood photo of Seungcheol's family, framed and hung on the wall. It was the hardest thing to get your hands on. His estranged sister would not leave her house for long enough - it took a major occupational accident at her husband's construction site to finally get her moving.
With everything finally in place today, just as the sun began to set, you went over to Seungcheol's house to bring him over at last, to show him what you had done for him. Seeing how his front door was unlocked you stepped in, curiously looking around for him. But that feeling evaporated the moment you heard that sound - the sound of a woman moaning.
It felt like the ground under your feet had slipped. Perhaps that was why you grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the wall, to give your shaking hands something to hold on to as you made your way to his bedroom…. He didn't even bother to shut the door.
There he was, sitting on the bed with his laptop open before him, frantically getting himself off to the video of some pizza delivery girl getting her “payment”.
Porn. He was watching porn.
The moment his eyes fell on you by the door, he quickly tucked his length into his sweats and jumped off the bed, looking at you like you were crazy. Oh no Choi Seungcheol. He didn't just do that. He shouldn't have. Maybe then you wouldn't have swung the bat and knocked him out cold. Maybe he wouldn't have found himself in the middle of the room all tied up when he came around.
You just couldn't understand him. What was the need for him to look at other women or even think of one when you were right there? Was he bored of you? Were you not enough? You did everything you could to keep him - every depraved fantasy, every humiliating act, every time he was rough to bruise you for days together, you took it all, you begged for more. Then why was he doing this?
When he finally opened his eyes, he didn't answer your questions, he was simply screaming to set free. Well of course the only thing you could do was to shut his mouth in some way and with him unable to speak, you had to find other ways to get answers. You needed to find out if Seungcheol was just not attracted to you anymore.
That's why you brought out your video collection, little films you had taken of yourself back when you were still pushing him away, all while wondering what it was like to get fucked by him. His mouth may say whatever but anatomy couldn't lie right? There was something else that could stand up and answer you.
You had meant to stay and watch, afterall, you were proud of the quality of your content but the flashes of thunder outside told you that perhaps it was wiser for you to go to the store first. You knew whatever was going to transpire wouldn't be over any time soon, you had to stock up before the storm locked you in. Besides, it was Halloween night, all the cute little kids would be coming around for candy, you didn't want to miss out on that.
You didn't and thanks to them, you didn't succumb to your forgetfulness and miss out on this either.
“There there.” You cooed, removing his gag and he coughed, unable to regain his ability to speak just yet. You waited for him to come around, walking back to sit on the edge of the bed as he looked at you meekly.
“Water.” He whispered, voice just a little horse.
You raised your eyebrow. How did he manage to sound so sexy all the time?
“Thirsty are we?” You smiled. “I thought my gift might have helped.”
“Y/n please.” He groaned. “What kind of sick joke is this?”
Oh. He thinks it's a joke. A little Halloween scare perhaps. A prank gone overboard. Oh he has no idea.
“I think it's me who you take for a joke.” You glanced down at his raging boner. “Or not, considering how excited you are.”
You got up, leaning over him, hand gripping the back of his chair.
“I'll help you.” You licked your lips. “Either I'll untie you, take my little collection and get out of here. Or I'll help with your not so little predicament with any and every hole I have…. Pick your poison.”
Seungcheol looked at you wide eyed. His breath was shaking, lips were quivering and a hundred and one things seemed to be running behind those pretty eyes.
Slowly gulping, his Adams apple moving with a bob, he shut his eyes.
“It's unbearable.” He mumbled. “It's just…. Please help me.”
And you knew exactly what he wanted you to do.
Sliding off the bed, you got on your knees, crawling up to him, slotting yourself between his legs. Seungcheol’s eyes flew open when your hands found his thigh, a soft sigh tumbling out of his mouth. He loved to fuck your mouth. He loved how eager to please you always were, always trying to take in more of him, always trying to do better. God he loved it.
He watched as you pulled his sweats down the best you could and wrapped your tiny hand around his dick. He was raging hard, the tip flushed in an angry red, precum smeared all over. You were lucky he was in your control now. If he were allowed to have his way, he might just break you.
Stroking him agonisingly slowly, you inched closer to place a small kiss on his tip, the softest interaction that had ever happened between the two of you. Before Seungcheol could even relish that moment you wrapped your lips around his length and took him all the way in. Fucking hell. Seungcheol thought he was going to pass out with how intensely you were blowing him. He wished you'd untie his hands. He'd go anything to just push your head down his dick and feel himself in your throat. That was a sureshot at making him come, these shallow and fast bobs of your head were only aggravating him.
Maybe that's what you wanted. Because the moment he let out his tell tale groan, letting you know he was close, you pulled away with a pop and wrapped your hand around his cock instead. Before he could complain about losing the warmth of your mouth you began stroking him fast thanks to the wetness of your spit and before you knew it, he felt himself reaching that high, meaningless words leaving his mouth. With a few more jerks, he came all over himself in spurts, ropes of white coating his abdomen.
As he tried to battle his feelings of relief after finding a much needed release, disappointment for not coming in your mouth, and slight fear, not understanding what the hell was going on, you slowly let him go, wiping your hand on his sweats. Looking straight into his eyes, you leaned forward, gathering the cum all over his skin with your tongue and showing it to him before you swallowed it. Fuck, Seungcheol felt the blood rushing down there again. He was far from done tonight.
Getting up you looked at him questioningly though you were well aware of the answer.
“Do you need more?”
Unable to do anything else, he nodded slowly, whispering please.
Smirking, you quickly stripped yourself out of your clothes. You would have made a show out of it, tease him slowly but you were equally desperate to fuck him so you quickly abandoned that idea. Throwing your garments somewhere, you clambered onto his lap, aligning yourself over his dick. You didn't need any prep or lube, you were practically dripping from just blowing him.
Slowly sinking onto his length you threw your head back, finally feeling full. Seungcheol moaned too, burying his face between your boobs as you bottomed out, your grip like a vice. Holding onto his shoulders you began fucking yourself on his length, snapping your hips relentlessly. You could tell the feeling was too much for Seungcheol too as he bit on the soft skin of your breasts. It stung painfully but you let him - you always let him do whatever he wanted to you anyways.
“Tired?” He looked up at you with a triumphant smirk as your pace began to falter thanks to the not so comfortable position of your legs. “Are you finally going to ask me for help?”
You shook your head. You didn't want him to have the upper hand anymore.
“Don't be stubborn, doll. You know it's better when I have my hands on you.” He ran his tongue along your breast, relishing the sweet and salty taste of you. “Untie my hands and we can make this better y/n. I know how much you love my fingers up your ass, and how much you like the grip on my hands all over you and how much you want me . Come on baby, untie me.”
You didn't want to, you really didn't want to but a part of you knew he was right. He could make you feel so good.
Reaching over you pulled on the knot holding his hands together and in a flash his hands gripped the bottom on your thighs and with the sheer strength of his that you loved, he got up, lifting you along with him. Immediately pinning you to the wall, he began thrusting into you, drawing out the most exquisite moans from you as he hit the spot again and again and again. When unable to hold it anymore, you came around him, he tossed you onto the bed, pounding into you mercilessly, making you cum around him one more time before he painted your ass and back with his own release. Even then the night was far from over.
After that he fucked you almost till dawn, pushing you to the limit as he made you cum so many times, you couldn't even keep count anymore. All you knew was that every bit of your body was screaming and creaming in pleasure - it was confirmed, you had to have Seungcheol for life, you had to do whatever it took to keep this insane man forever. You didn't know how but you could think about that later. For now, as day break approached, the two of you passed out in his bed.
Seungcheol looked at you under the afternoon sun streaming into his room. You were fast asleep - he tried waking you up a couple of times but you just would not budge. Finally giving up he resorted to just staring at you.
Last night was…. better than Seungcheol’s wildest dreams. He always knew he was a bit of a freak, but he didn't think he'd find someone to match it in this quiet town he had been reluctant to relocate to. Even when he first met you, he thought you'd be one sweet love making session at most but you took him completely by surprise. You were as wild as he was - you were down for anything he asked, you never said no and most importantly, you enjoyed it all. Seungcheol thought he had hit the jackpot with you.
But yesterday was most definitely not normal. At that time he was thinking with his dick because all the blood in his body was clearly there but as he looked back at what happened, nothing about it was right. You had knocked him out, tied and gagged him up before you left him. You had hours of footage of you pleasuring yourself to the thought of him…
Seungcheol had noticed the dates. It was way before the two of you had begun your little arrangement and he didn't know what to think about that. There were tiny sirens going off in his head telling him to run as fast as he could but Seungcheol couldn't stop staring at you. You were ridiculously beautiful and he just had the best sex of his life last night.
When you whined softly and turned over in your sleep, Seungcheol finally rolled off the bed and dressed himself. Finding your scattered clothes on the floor he gathered them, looking at them with a frown. He couldn't have you wear these again and his clothes were far too big for your tiny frame. Maybe it was time to start making room in his closet for a few of your clothes.
Knowing how tired you must be given last night's events, he silently fished out the keys from the pocket of your pants and decided to bring you a fresh pair from your house.
He shouldn't have gone over. He never should have stepped into your house. Maybe then the tiny sirens in his head wouldn't have become a full blown ringing.
If he had never discovered the truth of your house, if he wasn’t staring at an exact replica of his space, maybe he would've never come to terms that last night was indeed extremely abnormal.
You were not normal.
Something was very very wrong with you, the dozens of medications on the dining table were a testament of that. Seungcheol knew he had to go. He had to leave you and that house and this town. He needed to run away from this madness.
But when he turned to leave, he felt his heart stop just for a second.
There you were, right at the door, dressed in yesterday's clothes, looking at him expressionlessly. Your eyes ran over his face as he felt the hair on his skin stand.
He had to go, he had to get the hell out of here.
“Oh baby.”
You cocked your head at him, leaning against the frame with a small smile.
This was an expression you had never seen on Seungcheol's face before - a mix of shock and fear and repulsion. You could tell he wanted to run. You knew he would end things now, you knew it was over but alas, it was too late to let him go.
You couldn't let him go.
Taking a step ahead, you slowly closed the door behind you, inching closer to him, yesterday’s knife stashed safely in the back pocket of your pants.
“Do you want to see what's in my garage?”
A/n - As usual, comments and reblogs are much appreciated - I'd love to hear your thoughts, it really helps :) You can also read Jeonghan's and Joshua's :)
#this series was truly so hard to pull off#all your responses made me so happy#thank you guys#i appreciate you all so much#❤️❤️🫂🫂#tags
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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update from my mxtx renaissance is that I somehow never read the Shang Qinghua extra from SVSSS and i just finished it and
#it just balled up a fist and punched me DIRECTLY in the stomach as a author/porn author/with issues with sexuality/#having suffered years and years of depression so intense it was just background noise/was Not A Nice Person partly because of that/#self rejection issues/unhappy family background that made you into a rage ball with a peacemaking fawn response/#you view your main redeeming trait being a damage sponge because at least then you're useful lol/#these are all issues i have gotten way better about sdlijfi dw just.#Why Is Shang Qinghua Me. I'm Me etc#i should have known that the vague boring impression i'd gotten from fandom (and his and MBJ's usual designs i... do Not like)#would not be true to canon#but i was not prepared to go from 'oh i remember his character being fun and Mobei-jun was... fine like there's not much of him'#to 'this is one of my top favorite mxtx pairings and the last ending that made me happy-tearful like this was frickin. Bridge of Birds'#scum villain
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every day my brain produces the sentence 'blue doesn't deserve that zero's dick probably has a vibrate function. but in this life we don't get what we deserve we get what we get'. and every day I have to sigh and go 'I mean it's true but should you say it'
#posts I have been holding off on making for years but you know. maybe I do need to say it. maybe that will exorcise it#campaign star wars#zeblue#minister blue#agent zero#evil campaign#whatever zero's got going on down there has always been a hilarious sort of 'you know what? none of my business!#that's a private matter. happy for him and well wishes any way that shakes out' situation for me. rarely has a fictional character#made me feel more like respectfully averting my eyes and minding my own damn business. since his legs mostly seem to be artificial#(them robotic glutes synox gets enraptured by in battle) I suspect one answer is more likely but like man not for me to say#his poor body has been through enough I'm not gonna gawk at it on top of all that#never had this response to any other character so it's doubly hilarious. zero privileges. respectful mental modesty towel#I will politely avert my eyes like a real bro have fun with your insufferable megalomanical twink champ#I don't think anyone else should have to deal with him but you clearly want to so go for it#yes I have written entire sex scenes with this mindset and it basically worked out#because the erotically charged element here is a lot more about the dynamics involved than the body parts hahaha
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!
#clai speaks#spoilers in the tags probably#ahhh first of all i am still astounded the game exists at all. we all thought m&l was done forever but here it is!!!#the timing of me playing superstar saga and getting really into mario last year couldnt have been better#i mean i probably would have played brothership still even if mario hadnt become a main interest of mine like that. but anyway#absolutely stellar re-entry into the series it did not disappoint in the SLIGHTEST#i think i 100%'d it? only thing i didnt do was finish that last dyode dance sequence but like its fiiiine#took about 50 hours i didnt get a chance to check my final time. really surprised that the game went that long!#i dont think it was a bad thing at all though. the game mostly didnt feel like it was overstaying its welcome#i did think lottacoins and the lower level solitree went a tad too long and i didnt like them but only a little. they're still fine sections#surprised that i didnt even feel like the sidequests were a drag they were all alright!#character interactions were so good ofc. love the new cast!! starlow felt a bit flat which is a shame but she also didnt appear much so#the sidequest where she visits bowser and he calls her chippy!!!! made me so happy!!!!!#all the callbacks were so good i'm glad they can still do that. yelled out loud after finding the peasley reef#docking points for no dreambert reef however. jail worthy offence#on reclusa specifically i dont have a lot to say about his character he's just your typical evil for the sake of evil villain#but i have to say i Love his design. the really exaggerated facial expressions and that clown neck frill. really fun character actually!!#ahhh call me childish but i'm never a fan of endings where friends separate but i like to think the second uni-tree--#--will allow them to link back up once its grown and can generate more connectar to do it#cant say if its my favorite yet bc recency bias is still too fresh but its absolutely my second favorite m&l game at least!!#i havent played paper jam yet i wanted to play the original paper mario and spm first. but i always hear its bad so??#brothership is at least on par with dream team for me rn. absolutely stellar game#i hope this means we'll get more m&l someday! i've already left a very positive response on the survey they put out#anyway. now to decide what to play next because i have a MASSIVE backlog of games and i didnt think this would take this long BJDHJFHF#10/10!!!! please play brothership immediately
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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#finally ended the relationship that took all my health and happiness from me :)#many lessons learned#unfortunate that I am so nosey as to know about the constant lies but I would probably still be trapped otherwise#like actually insane that the person i trusted most in the world can speak about me like that#but i know it’s really nothing to do with me it just sucks#couldnt lie FOR me so outed me as a sex worker but 100% fine with lying ABOUT me behind my back#if you are reading this and are confused thats even worse btw#i thought it would be difficult but you have made it very very easy#i am thankful for that much#x#8 years of my life wasted i wish we never met#all the signs were there the first time and i still came back and hung around like an idiot#i feel a need to try to warn ykw but i dont think he will listen / i will just make him paranoid. so#i still wanted to cohabit but obviously this is impossible if you cannot be honest with yourself#but sure leave me with nothing except resentment and resign yourself to misery. cool dude#i stood by your side when it got hard for you & when it got hard for me you abandoned me. fuck you forever never speak to me again#i’m ngl this relationship has made me so averse to labelling myself as a femme because this butch acts like a man#it was so hard to keep that to myself for the entire relationship but i can say it now#(breathes a giant sigh of relief)#there’s just soooo much…#always an excuse#its so tiring its so old. my main feeling around all of this is just a bottomless fucking pit of disappointment#like how is ur response to me saying its over that you have shitty partner disorder lmfao#ughhh sorry i treated you like absolute shit for 6+ years i had no choice because i suck#please be serious. actually dont its easier to leave when you live in genuine fucking delusion#BYEEEEE
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gonna do the stupid thing for my stupid mental health
#is is the right thing? who knows#but camping made me realize that being away from some of this stuff made me feel a whole lot better#camping is great at bringing back some perspective#does this make me kinda a dick? maybe#but also this responsibility shouldn’t fall solely on me#i’m gonna focus on my friends who make me feel good#and school that makes me feel productive and excited#and everything else can make the effort if it needs my time and energy and emotional investment that badly#god camping was so wet but so good#MANY cool plants and mushrooms#i got to be in the forest info dumping to a captive audience#surrounded by my friends and without the outside world being able to contact me#legit definition of my happy place#lots of cool people to spend my time with#good games and campfire vibes and goofing off with glow sticks#didn’t get as many photos or snuggles as past camping trips but that was bc it was wet#let opportune moments for photo-ops and cuddling while damp is just unpleasant#so no hammock naps but that just gets bumped over to the bucket-list for next year again#and i only had ONE mild bad brain moment#and ONE (separate) bad body moment (and that one was my fault i had two hits of some really strong weed)#(and had a very very bad time for the rest of that night but NOT as bad as last year)#(I swear to god I learned my lesson this year)#so yeah. gonna make a camping bucket list for next year and look at it when i need reminders that there are good things ahead.#personal#(Em and Kat if u see this i love u both so much thank you for including me in your tradition these past several years)#(it means the world to me and i love getting to spend the time with you all!)
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I read your latest gunsmith fanfic and I really loved it!! 🥺💖 I recognized so many of your Tumblr posts in it (they were like little Easter eggs). And there were so many banger lines in it…it made me laugh so many times! 😂 Thanks for writing AND sharing it. 😌✨
P.S. I love the title…it describes them sooo well!
P.P.S. I’m shy too but uhhh if you ever wanted to talk about gunsmith/the Rockets then send me a message on Tumblr!!! Would enjoy hearing your thoughts on their pairing!! Okay bye!!! 🙈
GONNA CRY RN 😭😭😭😭😭
#SRRY THIS IS SO PATE#LATE#WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET A WEE TOO MUCH METHINKS#srsly this made me so happy to see EEEEK thank you omgg 😭😭😭😭#i feel so bad when ppl compliment me bcs i either take forever to dial up the fact that a compliment even happened#or dial up a response that isnt just THANK YOU#😭😭😭 overthinking I HATE U!!! RAGGGHH#ughh this is genuinely SO nice detailed compliments make me I SANE#IT'S SO INTRICATE AND NICE. i feel like im holding a piece of fine china#cradling u !!!!! i am !!#MY LITTLE TED TUMBLR EGGS 😭😭#banger lines... i am approaching you...#DONT EVER BE SHY WITH ME !!!! WE ARE HOUSTONLINGS! WE ARE SMALL BUT LARGE !!!!#feel free to talk to me AMY time abt ANY thing!!!!!!!#gunsmith.... 😼#that shipname is so silly sounding to me it's so them#WRAGGGHH im glad u liked the fic sm!!!!! i have an audience of like five ppl and i LOVE them ALL#my oompaloompas#i would take 4 quarters over 50 pennies any day#enough talk of My fic tho...#we must talk abt... Yours 😾 . . .#im Waiting 😾 . ...#ted tumbunity things#when i got this ask i stopped everythinf and actually awed it was so happiness!! full of joy! me !!!!! THANK U
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|🎄| ❝Uh, uh, I think this is a tag dump?❞ |❄️|
#|🎄| Lovely weather for a Sleigh Ride together with You |❄️| Noelle In Character#|🎄| Christmas Gifts |❄️| Noelle Reblogs#|🎄| A beautiful sight; we're happy tonight; Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland |❄️| Noelle Aesthetic#|🎄| In my heart is a Christmas Tree Farm |❄️| Noelle Headcanons#|🎄| May your days be Merry and Bright |❄️| Noelle Answers#|🎄| Simply having a wonderful Christmastime |❄️| Noelle Musings#|🎄| You're all that I need; Underneath the tree |❄️| Susie#|🎄| Thanks; old friend; for packing; Christmas stockings full of nice little things |❄️| Kris#|🎄| Christmas time is here; Families drawing near |🖤| Rudy#|🎄| Who decides the test of what is really best? |❄️| Berdly#|🦌| I'll Have A Blue Christmas Without You |❄️| Dess#|🦌| Even Santa Claus gets the blues |❄️| Asgore#|🦌| It's a difficult responsibility; That you accept from the Number 1 lawmaker |❄️| C. Holiday#I actually think her name should be clarice (ken said that to me and it made sooooo much sense) but most of the fandom calls her carol so I#left it vague there#|🎄| Dressed in a Snow White gown |❄️| Noelle Darkworld Verse#|🎄| Let it snow; let it snow; let it snow |❄️| Noelle Snowgrave Verse#|🎄| The Joy in my Heart is Ablaze and it's Keeping me Warm |❄️| Noelle Undertale Verse#|🎄| Wish as I may; wish as I might |❄️| Noelle Main Verse#|🎄| You light me up like starlight on a Christmas tree |❄️| Susie x Noelle#there are a couple shared tags with her dad here#seems silly to repeat character tags; ya know?
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I genuinely can never thank you enough for the past year. I can't express how much it's meant to me to be understood and have my energy reciprocated with someone on the same wavelength. Although I've been in the fandom for quite a bit longer than most people writing in, and longer than you, even, I can't remember the last time I felt this welcome and motivated. A TRULY embarrassing amount of my work's just been fueled by "oh Snap's gonna wanna see that," and of course that circle's expanded since then, but it probably wouldn't have had I not met stream chat through you, aaaaaand if I'm honest you're still up there... lol...
It's always, always a highlight of my day to see your your work, your posts, and your responses, whether they're to me or to others, and it's always a highlight of my week to be able to make it to streams! You're a huge inspiration for me, particularly in terms of your work ethic across the board. I always come out of streams energized and feeling like I can actually finish things, and usually this is hubris, but it's gotta count for something.
Not to be dramatic, but you kinda changed my life, no exaggeration. I still really can't see myself the way I was two or three years ago not just calling it quits after some of my Gaiden experiences... lol... but I'm still around, and like always, I wanna be able to write in and interact as much as I used to sometime soon. Thanks for everything! I hope RGGS continues to deliver so we can stay in touch :3
i cant thank YOOOOU enough for the past Xsome months or so. feelins ABSOLUTELY mutual in that i wasnt sure anyone else would really be into talkin bout rgg as you and i have (or would be willing to read my. miles-long scrolls of bullshit LMAO) so it's been real fun gettin to know you an everyone and chattin !!
most bafflin thin to ever to think i have good work ethic, i feel like ive been behind everyone for the past couple weeks and even with the things i do make it's really not up to snuff. it's always nice to hear that's not supposedly exactly the case :) I Suppose :^)
rgg community (like any community lbr) can be. An Experience, esp for someone with a position like yours. so im glad i can make it worth to hang around somewhat LOL
regardless, i always look forward to you next ask or the next time you leave tags on a post i make. if i ever bother making a post again ☠️☠️
#fave#snap chats#I DID SIT ON THIS ALL DAY OOPS#i got a bit busy with some stuff...... also i always try my best to write a sufficient response cause ill feel bad if i dont </3#mad funny youre stoked for me to see stuff And I Am Always Stoked To See Stuff cause i got a similar sentiment towards you#i mean i TRYYYY not to get too in my head bout it since then i get paranoid but i always do hope on the downlow like#'ah man. hope this is funny. hope masu likes it. hope im shot for this one' VERY NORMAL things to want :)#so funny tho. funny timin of this ask i feel like ive been disappointin people an particularly yous#which 'snap that doesnt make sense please be happy with yourself for three seconds' which. NO?? no. impossible#but i do get worried im disappointing or being too annoying or yk. just being a pest or not being adequate#so it's fun/ny gettin this ask today all that considered LOL#I MEAN I KNOW EVERYONE BEEN NICE THE PAST DAY OR SO YK SO NO REASON TO THINK IT#i cant avoid thinkin a it... my number one bully is myself he Will Not leave me alone no matter how hard i try to complain to the board#the board also bein myself. i cant excommunicate myself from myself--#REGARDLESS. very cool that i give you motivation :) esp after streams :)#every time i finish a stream i feel like i made an ass out of myself. ALWAYS HAVE FUN. but i feel at the cost of bein obnoxious#tho i guess theres no point stayin round if i was. lest its like Last Resort kinda deal then TRULY i am sorry im The Last Resort#ILL STOP WHINING FOR FIVE SECONDS TO SAY thank you :) for everythin :) both just chattin with me an all the work you do for the community#it truly is a lot and indescribable and its very cool i have someone like that who likes what i do. you do be the beyonce in walmart to me#to reference that post i rb'd last night LOL its still hard for me to understand but ig i dont have to understand it#i think i mentioned this before but i remember when id draw for persona (cringe ik) id mostly draw adachi (this is relevant Trust)#and this one mate one day was just 'snap its really nice how much. love you bring to the adachi community'#which is a hilarious thing to say since adachi sucks but POINT IS im glad i. i THINK im kinda doing the same thing now still#thats the consensus ive gotten the past couple asks.. lol.. its nice bringin people together and havin a fun and welcomin space :)#ILL WRAP IT UP HERE THO before i make people throw up. i kept this ask hoarded long nuff.. ill just hoard it in my chest cavity instead#once more thank you forever and always :) when we inevitability branch off to other things i'll always treasure all you've done for me
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WAHHHH YOUR TAGS ON THAT POST BESTIE IM RUGBY TACKLING YOU INTO A HUG RN <333 i have so much nerve to never shut the fuck up ever about every single thing in my life on here and then get genuinely surprised when people actually. have a grasp on where im at and how im doing and how i got there etc. like it's warming and touching and yeah. just makes me feel less alone in all the heaviness so tysm for those tags, i always appreciate acts of kindness that could very easily have been missed with no repurcussions if that makes sense? like you didnt HAVE to reblog that post and put those tags i would have thought no less of you if you hadnt, but you DID purely to be nice and that's a very lovely characteristic to have. especially bc - and sorry if this is weird - ive seen you in my notes with commentary on things if i reblog a post regarding mental health or something and idk. i think we're quite similar. like i always read every tag you put and i guess im just trying to say, from the snippets ive got, i see you too <3
Ohh my god hella you are so sweet and thoughtful istg <333 I may not be able to relate to all of your experiences but you articulate them in a way that makes me understand and more importantly *want* to understand which is so so important. Honestly even though we are similar we have grown up in very different environments and you have inadvertently taught me a lot just by sharing your thoughts and feelings and experiences!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to send me such a lovely ask I appreciate it very much :))) it boggles my mind that you actually read my tag rambles bc im sure you get a lot im so honored. Anyways I hope you have a lovely day and some warm cups of tea for the tough days ahead ^-^ it will be rough as you know but you will always bounce back better than before
#im losing my mind rn i did not expect a response skdjfhfhd#but yeah hella i need you to know that no one has humanized you in my mind better than you#prevents me from putting you on a pedestal but actually makes me admire you so much more for it#maybe it's just me but i always find it a lot easier to know and care about someone when i know both their hearts and their flaws#nothing increases my respect for someone more than them trying to help themselves be better#i love to see you caring about yourself and taking the time to acknowledge that you need things#and when you talk about all the good things going on in your life it makes me so so so happy for you#because i may not know you personally but i know you have struggled in the past with some of those things#and i am so glad it has gotten better for you#and guess who made it that way! guess who put in the effort to improve yourself and your life and get you those good things!!#it's you it's always been you#and you should be proud of yourself for that too
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I love your sense of humor ? I just looked through your feh tag and everything is so adorable and funny... Nobody is doing it like you. Your art style is so lovely and bright. Your love for Grima is so endearing and warms my heart. You go go! happy holidays and new year
NHNGHHGHG ANON THANK YOU SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE BUT I ALSO HOPE YOU HAD HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND A GOOD START INTO THE NEW YEAR!!! I hope your 2023 will be the best year of your life!!
#ask#SORRY there is no more elaborate response I don't know what else to say#BUT I'm sending all of the love your way know that I've been looking at this ask alot between getting it and finally having the time#to respond#and every single time it made me smile the biggest smile and still makes me so happy#😭💖💖💖💖💖
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If i had money i'd be commissioning you so much you art is SO GOOD and you deserve that money. You're amazing :3
Aww haha, thank you anon!! Glad you think so bout my work
#anon ask#gosh sorry to anyone who gets this spam but also not sorry#stare at these#these people decided to come over and write all these nice messages#share positivity in the world#and i feel that's so beautiful#life can just be sometimes so hard#but just even a few minutes of their life#a decision to just comment once or say a compliment#makes me remember what i like about this world#just that shared positivity#I hope my responses to you also made you happy anons#And you will maybe one time look back at these#reminding yourself that you do matter#that your words do matter and impact people#i know i am sappy over these silly lil things#but I can be sappy and I WILL be sappy!!#life can be hard#but its these little things#gestures#that matter so much#thank you#for playing my game - mario#if you read all this thank you#have a lovely rest of the day
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i have yet to watch a single full episode of c3 but “the worst thing to ever happen to me has already happened” has a vice grip on my brain
#that whole conversation man. im literally so insane#that being said in response to ‘everything you went through; and still youre somehow the happiest person in this group’ god.#laudna is the only character ever. she makes me insane#she is such a wonderful take on the cheerful creepy undead person archetype bc#shes so fucked up and weird and unnerving and smiling and cheerful all the time- which just makes her more creepy#but tge reason she is so happy is because the event that first made her fucked up and creepy- the worst thing that ever happened to her-#has already happened. its in the past now. she went through it and is still (un)alive and still gets to experience the world#like. it has already happened and nothing will make it unhappen. so why be sad over it#yeah she went through hell and back and suffered more than most people ever will. but here and now she is no longer suffering#cr#laudna if you are out there i hope you know i know so little about your charcated but you still make me cry#laudna
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