#yes I have written entire sex scenes with this mindset and it basically worked out

[vaguely-concerned]

every day my brain produces the sentence 'blue doesn't deserve that zero's dick probably has a vibrate function. but in this life we don't get what we deserve we get what we get'. and every day I have to sigh and go 'I mean it's true but should you say it'

[rainy-day-gracie]

Old Friends 9

 Part 1 of a series finale!!

Spencer Reid x Reader

I just wanna say thank you for all the love I’ve been getting :) the positivity is wonderful, so thank you and I love you !!

Please enjoy!

Chapter 9:

I groaned at the sound of the alarm clock screaming at me. “Spencer, time for work,” I said as I flopped out of bed. 

“Huh?” He flinched at me opening the drapes in my bedroom window, sunlight illuminating his sleepy eyes. 

“Get up, c’mon,” I pulled the covers off of him, and he jerked upright in his boxers. “Help me make the bed.”

There was something so entirely sweet about how domestic and loving getting ready together is. While he was brushing his teeth, I was standing there putting on makeup. When I was straightening my hair for work, he was making sure his hair fluffed in just the right way. 

I could easily see this being the rest of my life. 

“Breakfast will have to be on the run, we’re already late because you couldn’t get out of bed.” I poked him in the stomach as I passed him a breakfast bar. 

“We should just call in sick.” He spoke in the most serious tone, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 

“Yeah, if both of us called in sick, I think there would be some questions.” I giggled as I grabbed my keys and left the apartment, Spencer following close behind. 

__

Morgan gave me a look as I settled down at my desk. “Did the pretty girl get some loving last night?”

I tried to ignore him as I pulled out reports I needed to finish. “Morgan, what are you on about?”

He laughed out loud and patted Spencer on the back as he passed by our desks. “Go get em’ lovebirds.”

Hotch had already talked to us about keeping everything professional in the office, but that didn’t keep the team from teasing us endlessly. Just last week Emily asked me if we’ve ever had sex at work. 

“You would think he would have a little more manners than that?” Spencer chuckled without looking up from his work. “You look beautiful, stop checking your camera.”

I sighed as I put my phone back in my pocket. “I’m actually worried about something else…” There had never been a time where I showed up to work with a hickey, and I was worried last night had broken my streak. 

Spencer smiled sheepishly, and glanced over my neck. “I don’t see any, so you’re okay.”

Garcia trotted across the catwalk in her heels. “Hello wonderful people! You have a case!”

__

“You are headed to New York City my fine friends, where there have been three murders, all women in their twenties, with cause of death being a gunshot wound to the head and a… message, written on their stomachs.”

Garcia pointed to the screen, where the crime scene photos popped up. 

“The first message read ‘mine’, the second one said ‘sin’, and the most recent read ‘whore’.” JJ explained, looking in the case file. “The words were carved into their stomach antemortem, that’s torture.”

“But the gunshot to the head is a completely different MO than torture.” Spencer looked at me, clearly confused. 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What if the gun is just to keep them still? ‘I cut you, don’t flinch or it’s the last thing that you do.’ Psychological and physical torture means he could be a sadist.”

“The women were shown to have been killed in a week’s period, and the unsub is speeding up his timetable. Wheels up in 20.” Hotch took a phone call and left the room.

__

On the plane, Hotch explained his phone call. “The NYPD found another body three miles from where the last dump site was. Victim had the word ‘love’ carved in her stomach. The unsub seems to mostly be operating in Queens, one body was found in Brooklyn.”

Garcia made a video call with information. “My pretties, with my all-knowing powers of tech I have been able to identify all four victims. Most recent is Hallie Jones, she was a high end prostitute. $10,000 dollars a night, kind of high end. Third was Macy Johnson, she was a street prostitute, not much on her. Second victim was Fiona Lamber, she was also a street prostitute and kinda the same, not much information. First victim was actually a well known woman, Jamie Lorretta. Her father owns an oil company and she has had problems with drugs since she was a teenager.” 

Morgan gave a puzzled look. “Why change victimology from a well known woman with money to street prostitutes to a high end call girl?”

“The victimology could mean that the unsub himself comes from money and power himself.” Spencer pointed to the case files. “The gunshot to the forehead is personal, as is the cutting on the stomach. Both of these things point towards a craving for total domination, just two different kinds. The cutting represents a need for possessions, marking his property, and execution style killing shows an already confident mindset.”

“Both of which are things people in power need, ambition for possessions and major confidence,” I added. 

“The key to solving this case is Jamie Lorretta. Find out everything you can about her Garcia!” Hotch called over the video camera. Garcia nodded firmly and hung up. “Morgan, Prentiss go to the ME to examine the bodies. Rossi, JJ go to the latest dump site and see what kind of attraction the unsub may have to the area. I will go to the first dump site and see where the killer’s head was at when he first started killing. YLN, go to the station and interview the families of the victims and Reid, go with her and work up a geographic profile.”

I nodded at him and looked back down at the case file. 

What did these women do to get themselves killed?

Spencer squeezed my hand reassuringly, reading me like a book. “We’re gonna get him.”

I gave him a side smile. “We always do.”

__

Macy Johnson and Fiona Lamber’s families were distraught for sure, but it soon became clear that they didn’t know anything about the case. 

Hallie Jones’ family was one of the most composed families I’ve seen. They had sad eyes, but not once during our conversation did either of her parents shed a tear. I finally couldn’t take it anymore. 

“How are you so… stoic? I’ve interviewed many grieving families before and you two seem extremely calm considering your daughter’s body was found this morning.” I hated to be so blunt, but neither of them were showing any sign of grief over their daughter’s murder. 

The parents just looked at each other, then back at me. Mr. Jones took a deep breath. 

“Hallie… did what she did. We offered to take care of her, but she chose to have sex with men to pay the bills. After we paid for her degree, the least she could do was use it.” Anger burned in her father’s eyes, and disgust curled in my stomach. His child is dead and he was thinking about money?

“We told her God would punish her for her actions,” Mrs. Jones blurted. “She deserved what was coming to her in the end. All in all, she was probably asking for it.”

I wanted to vomit. These parents blamed their dead child for her own murder? “No one asks for this, Mrs. Jones. And right now, it looks to me like I want to catch your daughter’s killer more than you do, so either give me something that I can use, or leave.”

Both of her parents glared at me. After a moment, Mrs. Jones stormed out of the room, her husband close on her heels. 

I rolled my eyes and approached the police chief. “Where’s the Lorretta family? They were supposed to be here at noon.”

The police chief made a face. “The Lorrettas are refusing to leave their home. ‘Don’t want the attention’ of the local press. They said if the FBI wants to ask questions, you’re going to have to go to them.”

I swallowed my annoyance. “Okay, I’ll head over there. I don’t think I’ll be much use here.”

Reid raised his chin. “I’ll come with you.”

I appreciated the company. Maybe around him I won’t flip my lid with these damn parents. 

What kind of families are these?

__

The Lorrettas’ home could give Rossi’s mansion a run for its money. We pulled up in the SUV to a long paved driveway and saw gardeners working in the large front lawn. The front door was made of opaque glass and I could almost smell the entitlement. 

Spencer knocked on the door, which was opened almost immediately. A woman with obvious dyed blonde hair and botox greeted us.

“You must be from the FBI! Come in please,” she said as she basically pulled Spencer and I into the house. Not exactly the demeanor of a grieving parent.

“We’re here to ask some…” my voice trailed off as I saw the massive chandeliers and luxurious couches. Money and possessions. 

“Are you from the FBI?” A girl about 10 approached me hesitantly. She had clearly been crying, and I got on my knees to talk to her. 

“Yeah, I’m YFN and this is Spencer. We’re here to ask some questions.” I glanced over at the Mrs. Lorretta, who had suddenly abandoned her politeness. 

The girl looked to her mom, who was giving her a death glare. The girl just turned and ran up the stairs. 

“Ma'am, we’re to ask you about Jamie.” Spencer put his hands in his pockets. “Mind if we sit?”

Mrs. Lorretta picked the politeness act right back where she left off. “Yes, yes. Please sit.”

After a few minutes of awkward small talk, I went with the hard questions. “How did Jamie’s drug habits influence her? Did she have any enemies?” 

Mrs. Lorretta’s mouth tightened in a straight line, and she looked between Spencer and I. “Well… um, I’m not sure. She wasn’t really home much… she’s always been distant with us. I never heard about any enemies, but she never talked to me much anyway.”

Over her shoulder, I saw the girl peeking behind the staircase. Spencer noticed it too, and tapped me on the leg. 

“Excuse me, where’s the bathroom?” I kept my tone light and cheery. She pointed down a long hallway to my right, and I made a small motion to the girl to follow. 

Once we were out of earshot, the little girl burst into quiet tears. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” My voice was soft and I rubbed her shoulders. 

“Lily,” she hiccuped through her sobs. “My dad was always so mean to Jamie…”

“What do you mean?”

Lily squeezed her eyes shut. “He would always go into her room… and I could hear him hitting her. They would fight all the time. He’s why she did drugs… she needed to escape from him.”

I lowered my voice even more. “Do you know who did this to her?”

She opened her eyes and sniffled softly. “I wasn’t surprised when the police found her body. It was only a matter of time before he… and I heard screaming coming from our shed in the backyard.”

“What’s going on here?” 

Mr. Lorretta stood behind me, a smile looking like plastic on his face. 

Money, power, ambition. 

I smiled sweetly, patting Lily’s shoulder. “Oh nothing. I was looking for the bathroom and I just saw that she was upset. Your wife is answering some questions of my colleague’s, come join. I’m sure she’s being very helpful.”

In his eyes I saw an evilness that said that he would tear me to shreds given the chance. I turned away from him, beginning to walk down the long hallway back to Spencer. 

I felt him pull my gun from its holster behind me, and he wrapped a strong arm around both of mine, his other hand pressing the cold barrel against my temple. “Move.” He growled in my ear. 

Lily had taken off running, and as we moved closer, Mrs. Lorretta had taken hold of Lily in her arms. 

Mr. Lorretta hissed at Spencer, who had his gun drawn at this point. “Think about this, Agent. Don’t want the blood of two people on your hands.”

I looked at Spencer, begging him to lower his gun. Not for me, but for Lily, who was still in her mother’s firm hold, a kitchen knife pressed to her throat. 

The cold barrel of my own gun pressed into my temple, and all I wanted to do was kiss Spencer when he finally dropped his weapon. 

“Honey, they’re federal agents. We can’t kill them,” the wife reminded her husband, who seemed torn on what to do now. 

“Why did you carve ‘mine’ into your daughter’s skin?” I blurted. 

He laughed softly in my ear, and I wanted to throw up. “Because she needed to know her place before I put her out of her misery. That was the only way she would understand. Do you know your place, Agent YLN?”

“You are in complete control here, Mr. Lorretta.”

“Damn right I am.” I felt him beat the barrel of the gun against my head, and I was out cold. 

TAG LIST: @itsarayofsunshine @thesailbells @squirrellover1967 @softpeteparker @parkeroffline

[hangmansradio]

are you gonna change Grant's pronouns?

Well nonny... Let me answer your question but also explain the reasoning behind my answer. So I apologise in advance if this ends up being quite long-winded.  In short, my answer is no. But please don’t think any less of me and let me try to explain. I’ve talked to so many people about this and been having a really hard time trying to decide what to do. My knee-jerk reaction when I heard everyone saying they were going to change pronouns was that I didn’t want to do that. And then I felt like an awful person for feeling that way, and basically spent a day believing I’m a hideous person and trying to beat my brain into thinking differently.  I’ve talked to people who identify as cis, as trans and as non-binary. I have dozens of friends who slip up and down the gender spectrum sometimes on the daily and it makes no odds to me how someone identifies. You can ask me to call you by any pronoun you desire, you could tell me you’ve decided to live your life as a pot-plant, its all good!  I read the interview with Grant where they talk about their gender and how they were exploring things like cross-dressing as young as ten. And the whole interview felt very relaxed, and not at all like a sort of... coming out tale, for lack of a better phrase. Grant didn’t seem to be dictating (to me at least) that they wanted people to alter the way they talk about them. They were just discussing gender and new words for gender in the context of how times have changed. How they themself didn’t have words like gender fluid or non-binary when they were young, and that this is why things like the t slur ended up in the Invisibles. But I digress. Grant is now sixty years old, which means they’ve had roughly fifty years living their life as non-binary, even if they didn’t exactly have the words for it. Which says to me that they’re probably extremely comfortable with it, relaxed, and have no qualms or issues that tend to surface in young people. So... Why was my instinct reaction to changing my work anything less than joyful acceptance? I’ve asked myself this question over and over. I have been told I’m being ignorant. Have been told that as a cis person I have no comprehension of why pronouns are important. I spent yesterday evening crying to myself, when I was already sick in bed, and made quite the sorry sight.  And the thing is, as a writer, I’ve spent the last two decades getting into other peoples mindsets in order to write a myriad of characters. And so far, people tell me I do this quite well. I have a degree in psychology. I am working towards a masters degree in psychology. I have done separate studies into counselling specifically. Understanding people is my thing. It’s what I do.  So why then, do I not want to change the pronouns? In answer, I had to stop and think entirely selfishly. I had to look into myself and away from the all those voices telling me I don’t understand or that I’m ignorant, and question what made me feel uncomfortable. And the answer is quite simple. I write fanfiction, yes. But the characters I create are MINE. I do not write about Grant Morrison the comic book writer. I write about a character all my own, and slap the face of Grant onto it. I don’t read MCR fanfiction, or any fanfiction about real life people because it makes me uncomfortable, and recently I’ve been warring with myself about leaving the MCR category when it comes to writing, because for me... the disconnect between real people and my characters is wholly, utterly complete.  If I could explain it simply - I view my characters (all of them) as OC’s. But for the sake of writing in the same category I have been for years, and thus keeping the readers I adore so much and the friends I have made - I use MCR or Grant or their wives as the actors and actresses to play the roles of my characters. My fanfiction is a movie in my head, and the people whose names and faces I borrow are my cast. So for me... to change my fiction every time something changes in the real world just does not compute in my head. If Gerard Way was to act in a film today, and announce tomorrow that he prefers she/her pronouns, the movie wouldn’t be re-filmed to accommodate. If Grant Morrison decided tomorrow that they would like to act in movies, I’m almost certain they wouldn’t insist on only being cast in non-binary roles. Equally, I have read fanfiction in the past that gender-swaps all members of MCR. I have read fanfiction that casts them as trans characters. I have read fiction where they are gay, straight, ace. I myself have written them as vampires, werewolves, mafia dons...  For years, Gerard and Frank especially have talked about how frerard fanfiction makes them uncomfortable. Yet that has always been my main forte. I do not write it to be disrespectful, and it is my sincerest wish they never read it or have it mentioned to them. It is just fiction... it’s transformative work, and the morals are dubious I agree, which is why I still am considering leaving the MCR fandom for good. So... If I have been writing about two straight men and making them gay for years and years... If I have been writing Mikey (who we all know is a sweetie pie) as an evil character multiple times... If I have taken their straight wives and wrote them as lesbians... Then surely, surely, it doesn’t make sense for me to go back to the work I have written in the past and change it now for the sake of something happening in real life? Something that Grant themselves have not come out and made a statement about, and probably never will, because to them, it’s not a big deal. Or so it feels to me. In short (and I apologise again for the length of this answer), fanfiction to me has always been FICTION. I cannot stress this enough. I do not, and will not, factor the real world into it because the whole point is that it is a world of my own creation. If I decided to write a fic tomorrow that had Grant as a female presenting octopus no one would bat an eye. And to not change their pronouns is not meant as a statement or a slight, far from it. It is simply that those stories were written before the change, and were not about a non-binary character. And as someone who often writes erotic stories, is it my place to try and write sex scenes involving a non-binary character when, as so many have kindly informed me, I am ignorant in this matter? Especially when, in my eyes at least, writing someone as non-binary is not as easy as simply changing the pronouns and letting the story remain the same in every other aspect. I hope this makes sense and doesn’t make me come across as someone who is being cruel or stubborn for no reason. Or as someone who just doesn’t understand. If there is one thing I have learnt from talking to so many people yesterday, it is that there is no right or wrong answer, and the only true way to avoid hurting one another is to listen to each other and accept that we all feel very strongly about this, and sometimes for different reasons.  Fanfiction shouldn’t be something that others can dictate. It was always about reading and writing what you enjoy, and if you dislike it, then hit the back button.  That being said - The Devil’s Furnace and Domino will have the pronouns changed, out of respect to Ry who has requested as much and who owns the soul of those stories as much as I do. 💜

[copperpearl]

Partial Analysis of Ch. 14 of “A Long Way From Home”

I found the beginning of the most recent chapter to have a very realistic handling of bad sexual encounters in a way that a lot of media seems content to ignore. It also gave a lot of insight about the inner workings of the characters that I just have to comment on. This gets long, and is very very spoilery, and involves talk of sexual assault, so take caution!

On Pearl's first sexual encounter:

It could have been so much worse, and that's why I was so impressed. Sometimes situations like that play out...just like that. It was honestly one of the best "I didn't understand what was happening at the time" scenes I've ever read. I got choked up, which I fully expected would happen when I saw the start-of-chapter warnings. What I didn't expect was WHY I would get emotional. All things considered, Angel Quartz was nice, made sure Pearl felt good, didn't make her sore or do anything to scare her. It was still wrong, since Pearl didn't know what was happening. She hadn't been properly informed, was literally told she couldn't talk and had to be "good" for the guest, so she couldn't consent. And in a society where Pearls are considered objects that can't be raped, and you're socialized to think "Of course they always want and enjoy sex, it's in their nature", it would be so easy for the scene to have been written out as a dark and hard to stomach.

But it wasn't. Angel Quartz was nicer than she had to be, way more kind and gentle than society required, and that's part of what makes it a weird situation. Because on one hand, well, it was still not consensual, and definitely sill wrong. There is NO way to excuse her actions. She raped Pearl, no doubt about it. But I couldn't bring myself to really, truly hate her, because she didn't even know she was doing anything wrong. The world she lived in said that there was absolutely nothing immoral about it. For all we know, she would have been a morally good character, if only she were taught the realities of the nature of Pearls and the importance of genuine consent. Pearl didn't know anything wrong was being done to her either, and would have been punished even if she did understand and tried to say no. No one could really prevent the situation, and that's the tragedy of it.

On Jasper's first sexual encounter:

I was REALLY surprised that Jasper's first time was, while still grey-area, actually...a little worse than Pearl's as far as overstepping boundaries went, since at least Pearls aren't considered fully sentient intelligent beings who have the ability/right to say no. Jasper is a fully realized Gem in their society, and it would have been so easy to go "Soo you want to have sex? Oh, you don't know what that is? Here, let me explain, still want to try it out?" But no, the Amethyst just...did her thing. Still made sure Jasper felt good, yes, but just like with Pearl, Jasper didn't get what was happening and wasn't able to give informed consent. Just like Pearl, it felt good, and she wasn’t able to think beyond that at the time, but it was definitely still an attack. And it shows just how extra fucked up Gem society is at present, where even those who are considered to have SOME rights are...kinda left in the dark about right and wrong and even the concept of consensual sex. I just loved that, because it was so unexpected. It would have been so easy to just have Jasper's first time be totally ok in contrast to Pearl's assault. But it wasn't.

Jasper's first time wasn't really consensual. She didn't know what that weird thing everyone was doing was. Just that the sounds and seeing them touch each other made her feel funny. She wasn't given the option to go ok, this is what it is, and I can try it, and if there's something I don't like or I change my mind, or just don't want to do it with THIS Gem, I can say wait, hold up, and it will stop.

And just like with Angel Quartz, I couldn't be completely angry with the Amethyst(though I am far angrier at her than Angel). Because soldiers bonding by sneakily having forbidden trysts in the dead of night is normal for them. It's expected. It's just a thing you do, and everyone does it, so the new soldier must know about it and want to do it too, right?

In General:

The barracks story in particular gives a lot of insight and explains A LOT about Jasper's mindset. Of course she's taking time to realize that what she did on the ship was molestation and coercive rape. Of COURSE she doesn't understand what she did wrong, even though she has the feeling that she should feel guilty about something.  She didn't even get the right of informed consent, so why would a barely-sentient thing like a Pearl get it, or even need it? It kind of goes into the "Some abuse victims become abusers because that's all they knew and they think it's ok", and in a very interesting way that's done WAY more realistically than I've ever seen it done before. Oftentimes it's shown with really intense, obvious-from-the-outside, horrific, graphic abuse, as a way to explain why a Definitely Bad Irredeemable Character is the way they are.

So it's refreshing to see a representation of bad practices going in a cycle of abuse that aren't basically obvious torture, but smaller things. Things that are abusive and definitely wrong, but "gentle", that may lead to the victim later abusing others in a not so gentle way . Because that does happen a lot. A person doesn't need to be battered to get a fucked up view of consent/right and wrong.

And the thing that makes this all so amazing is that it is SO easy to just go into the basic tropes. It would be so easy to have the start of that chapter, and the entire fic, read like a long SVU episode that's easily forgotten. It would be so much simpler and easier to portray the Amethyst and Angel Quartz as clear, over exaggerated 2D bad guys, with Jasper/Pearl respectively screaming and struggling and crying and protesting the whole way. But that's not always how it is, and Butts seems to have a very good grasp of that, and is using THAT to tell the story rather than taking the easy, tropey, typical way out.

Because it’s important to remember and bring attention to the fact that sometimes, you don't always know what's happening. Sometimes it FEELS good, because the assailant is gentle, and may even think they're doing nothing wrong. Sometimes you don't protest because you're told you can't, or it doesn't even occur to you that you have a choice. Sometimes everyone involved is a victim.