#all you have to do is not be abusive and talk to me from time to time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1d1195 · 1 day ago

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Pucking Rookie IV

Read Pucking Rookie here | ~8k words

From me: slow burning!!!

Warnings: ANGST violence. CW: Signs of abuse.

Summary: Harry is very hot. Very sweet. VERY protective.

“Hey everyone,” she greeted brightly. “How’s everyone today?” She asked while setting down a tray of eight glasses and two pitchers of water on the table.

“Wonderful, baby, so excited to have you.”

She nearly knocked the glasses over (fortunately, since they were water glasses, they were only plastic). She made eye contact with him and felt her heart completely stop for a few beats. Kael smiled wickedly in return.

Fuck.

She kept her smile in place. “What can I get you to drink?” She asked. After eight years, she already knew what he wanted so she focused on his teammates.

“We were hoping to see The Chargers tonight,” Kael told her. “Do they come here often?”

She didn’t respond. “We have a few specials tonight, so if you have any questions, please let me know,” then she sauntered away to place the drink order.

“Already know what I want, baby?” He called. “That’s so sweet!”

She ignored him. Taking deep breaths she headed to the kitchen. Louis wasn’t in yet. Harry didn’t know she was working. Which meant the rest of the team thought she wasn’t working too. Marc and Michael probably had their suspicions that she was with Harry. So, no one knew she was there. Not really.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was probably just going to be an hour. He had his team with him. It wasn’t like they could have a private conversation in the middle of a restaurant. Yeah, he would probably tease and torture her for the better part of that hour, but she could be civil. She could pretend. She had for ages. He didn’t know she was working for The Chargers—she was sure he had an idea that she might be. But the afternoon set it in stone.

He was such a dick. It was the first time she had seen him face to face since she moved out. Everything about him made her skin crawl and she hated it. Every touch and kiss between them seemed tainted now. All those good memories, dates, hockey games, everything felt ruined. Each interaction was colored now with the hindsight that he didn’t love her. Not the way she did. Not the way she expected him to love her for ever and ever. It wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve that. She knew she didn’t deserve that.

So why did he make her feel undeserving of it ever again?

Kael and his teammates came and went fortunately. Just as she predicted. Only a little over an hour. She refrained from speaking directly to Kael and focused on the group as a whole.

When Kael left, she was well past the feeling of relief. There should have been a stronger word for how liberated she felt. She used the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face, and took a moment to process everything. It was just like Kael to come in and make her feel like shit without even trying. Louis was supposed to be in, so at least she had that going for her.

“Hey love,” Louis called. “Everything good?” She probably looked a little shaken, so she wasn’t surprised he asked. She felt shaken.

“Good,” she smiled assuredly. She flitted around the room, ducked behind the bar, and went about her day. It was a busy night, and she wasn’t going to let Kael sour her shift that he had next to nothing to do with. So she didn’t. The next hour ticked on quickly and she was feeling more herself as the time stretched between Kael’s departure and the present.

“Hi baby,” he cooed.

Her arms felt numb almost instantly, she was lucky she didn’t drop her tray. Her fight or flight swept her and just made her freeze. She turned as she had earlier in the day and looked at him. “Hi,” she said curtly. He was alone, which made her nervous.

“I figured you must get a break soon. I’d like to talk.”

“Not for a while. And it’s busy,” at least that wasn’t a lie. “So I might not take one tonight.”

Louis was hurrying about from kitchen to back room, to front of house. It was busy as it could be, but she wanted to keep an eye on him. If Kael got her alone, she wasn’t sure she would be able to control her emotions as well as if she had someone that knew she was not in a situation she wanted to be in just by looking at her. Louis wasn’t Harry, but he would know all the same that she was uncomfortable.

Kael smiled brightly.

Well, at least someone that cared ifshe was uncomfortable.

“I’ll wait,” he offered.

“Great,” she deadpanned.

She went to the back room and wished that there was a group of Chargers there. If she called any of them, she knew they would break curfew and be there for her in a heartbeat. The thought of Kael anywhere near her would make Callie incensed for ruining her day. Niall would be protective in his own way and focused on her. Asher and Lang would get her away from The Locker Room and make sure Kael never set foot there again.

She could hardly imagine what Harry would do to him.

But she lied. She told Harry that she wasn’t working. The routines the boys had had in place prior to her arrival with the team had been disrupted more than she ever anticipated. It was nice they cared but it wasn’t fair to them to upheave their lives for her. She was just the photographer for the team. Their coach’s niece. They didn’t ask to have someone they needed to babysit.

She was an independent, self-sufficient person.

“You okay, love?” Louis asked.

She nodded and flitted around the room taking order and tried not to think about the feeling of Kael’s stare on the back of her head.

It was perhaps another hour, and Kael was true to his word in staying put. Fortunately, The Locker Room remained steadily busy. She didn’t have to lie about not taking her break. She foisted him off on another waiter who grew a little tired of him asking for her each time he went over. “Baby,” he snatched her hand as she went by.

She pulled away. “Kael, I’m busy,” she marched away before he could reach for her again.

Without warning a multitude of memories where he snagged her hand over the years filtered through her mind. His grip tight on her arm or hand. Never in a way that any outsider would notice. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she whispered to herself. She was going to call Harry. His wrath would be well worth it. At least Kael was scared of Harry and the team. Especially if he was outnumbered. She was shaking a little as she headed for the kitchen hoping to catch Louis at least.

“Hey,” Kael said grabbing her again as she passed too close to his table. This time he caught a real hold of her arm and pinned it to the table. To any other onlooker it would look like he was just keeping her in place holding onto her hand in almost a romantic kind of way. No one would see how his fingers dug into her skin, how she was feeling the ache of the hard wood against her knuckles and wrist bone like she just lost an arm-wrestling contest. “I just want to talk.”

She wanted nothing less. “Hey, Louis!” She called quickly and loudly enough so that he would be able to hear her over the din of the whole place regardless of where he had gone off too.

Within seconds Louis was there from the back room.

Harry was right beside him. His eyes narrowed at the sight of her arm on the table. Her mouth popped open in shock. She had no clue he was there. Most obviously, she didn’t want him to see this. “Oh fuck,” she whispered and tried to pry her hand away from Kael’s. She squirmed slightly as he refused to release her. He cupped his other hand gently on top of her arm trying to get her to stop.

Harry wasn’t supposed to be here. He was only supposed to come to her rescue because she couldn’t figure out what else she was to do. She was going to hide in the kitchen and wait.

Harry wasn’t supposed to be around Kael.

“Styles,” Kael practically sang. He didn’t release her arm. “Didn’t know you were here. Tough loss today. I hope it’s the same tomorrow, to be honest.”

He didn’t take the bait. His nostrils flared. “Let go of her hand Crowe,” Harry snarled stepping closer to him.

“We were just talking, right baby?” Kael smiled and took his free hand to cup the side of her face. She turned her face away and brushed it away from her skin.

Harry continued to approach him—up close and personal. If they were on the ice the cages of their helmets would have been touching. “Let her go, right fucking now,” his shoulders were heaving.

“It’s fine,” she croaked. Harry didn’t even acknowledge her.

Was he trying to keep it together? Not make a scene, maybe? Harry was quick to anger—like most hockey players. He probably would have torn Kael limb from limb by now if this wasn’t a local place where fans and the rest of the team went.

“Let go of her,” her he repeated, his voice was so deep. His body shaking.

“Harry, I’m fine—”

He ignored her still and Kael continued keeping her in place despite her squirming. She wanted to whimper as he squeezed her tighter and pressed her hand harder into the table. To the untrained eye, you wouldn’t know. But Harry was watching like this was his favorite movie and they were at the climax of the plot. He saw the way she winced and her body bend slightly as he pressed harder. “Mind your fucking business, Styles,” Kael shook his head. “This doesn’t involve—”

“She is m’business. Especially when you’re fucking hurting her,” the whole bar area went silent as they realized one of their favorite celebrities was about to punch the lights out of one of the best names in hockey. “If y’don’t let her go, m’gonna rip your hand off, Crowe. And m’gonna enjoy it,” he promised shaking his head. “Let go of her.”

She wanted to move more but was utterly terrified. Harry could get in serious trouble. Kael wasn’t particularly dangerous, but his grip was making her whole arm ache. Harry’s threat made her stomach swoop; he was so ready to protect her. Of course that was nice, but she wanted to cry. Hurting one of the top professionals in the league (even if Harry was also at the top) was a great way to get a hefty suspension and fine if he was caught.

Just another way she was going to upend his perfectly normal, happy life.

“Harry, stop,” she begged.

“Yeah, Harry, stop,” Kael mimicked. But she inhaled sharply, pulling and moving again uselessly to try and get away from the grip he had on her wrist. She whimpered despite herself as the pain continued. “Mind your business Harry,” he snarled. “M’talking to my girlfriend.”

Harry didn’t acknowledge the comment. “Stop fucking touching her, Crowe.”

“She’s mine. I’ll do whatever I want to her.”

Harry stared at him, his gaze flicking to her wrist still pinned to the table. She was still squirming, looking to get away. Louis reached for her and Harry put his hand on his chest and pushed him away. He walked to the bar, grabbed a shot of whatever the bartender was pouring. His head tipped back as he sucked the liquid down. The quiet clink of his glass hitting the bar was the only sound in the room. Silently, Harry plucked the rings he wore when he wasn’t playing hockey off his fingers. He tucked them into the inside pocket of his jacket. It felt like the seconds were ticking by in slow motion. Not even the pain from Kael’s tight grip on her hand was enough to draw her attention away from Harry’s movements.

She swallowed, her eyes pleading with Harry not to do it. It wasn’t that bad. She could take it. The pain she was feeling now was hardly anything in comparison to what he could do. This was nothing.

“One more time, Crowe... Let go. Of her,” Harry’s voice was even. Measured. It had the tone of I’m not asking again.

“She’s mine, Styles. Find someone else to stalk.”

Harry smirked, shook his head, and his eyes flickered to hers for only a second. Then they were back on Kael. “Oh. No. No she’s very much not yours.”

As slow as the seconds had ticked by, they all came rushing back at full speed; maybe time even sped up. Harry delivered a lightning-fast punch to Kael’s nose causing him to gasp and drop her hand as he instinctively reached for his face. With the toe of his boot, Harry tipped his chair before Kael could get his bearings, and he fell flat to his back. The chair broke into pieces with his weight. He gasped, trying to right himself and protect his nose from bleeding everywhere. Harry reached down before Kael could get a grip. He yanked him up by the collar and front of his shirt. A stupid, ugly orange and blue sweatshirt that Harry was delighted to wrinkle hard in his hands. Before Kael was barely on his feet, Harry hauled him backward. Shoved him hard into the bar so the edge dug into his spine, no doubt. Without pause, Harry delivered a solid punch to his cheek, a heel stomp to his foot, and knee to his stomach.

Kael bent forward, gasping for air and Harry’s breathing was as even as if he was sleeping.

Her hand went to her mouth and the other to her stomach as she tried to hold herself together. Everyone looked in pure shock. Surely someone was supposed to try and stop Harry. Even if he was a hockey player for the town that everyone loved. But given he incapacitated Kael in a matter of thirty seconds it wasn’t like anyone wanted to try and stop him. Even Louis was speechless and looked in horror. “Are y’gonna touch her again?” He didn’t say anything, which was the wrong answer as Harry twisted him in an instant, pressing his face down into the bar, pulling his arm back behind his body. “I said, are y’gonna touch her again?”

“No,” he rasped.

“M’letting y’keep your hand. Don’t make me regret it,” he snapped and shoved him a final time into the bar. He dropped a few hundreds on the bar for the damage and his drink. “Louis, keep the change,” he muttered over his shoulder without sparing another glance at Kael. “S’time t’go, Bunny,” he murmured lowly for no one else to hear but her. He placed an arm around her waist, and tugged her toward the exit. Every pair of eyes followed them.

“B-but m-my shift—”

Without missing a beat, he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and stuffed it in the front pocket of her apron. “Let’s go,” he repeated and ushered her outside.

Harry opened his passenger door and gestured for her to get in.

She looked nervous, which made Harry uneasy. This strong, brave woman who bantered with unruly hockey players and dealt with fans and drunk patrons looked a bit lost. “What about my car— I mean... your other—”

“Get in the car, Rookie,” he ordered.

She followed his direction. Harry waited until she was safely buckled inside before closing her in. He locked the door for the short walk around his car, only unlocking it so he could slip inside. Once seated and buckled, he turned the car on and immediately exited the parking lot. After driving in silence for several moments Harry dropped his hand on her thigh like it was an instinct.

He didn’t ask if she was okay. Which was kind of him, because how could she be? Her heart was thudding in her chest, her wrist hurt, and her brain was a mess. Harry’s hand on her leg should have made her uncomfortable given he didn’t ask. But it was almost too comforting, and she dreaded the idea that he would have to let go of her eventually.

“Don’t y’dare cry over him, bunny,” his voice was tight.

She sniffled, not realizing she was, in fact, crying. She swiped her hands across her cheeks. “Sorry,” she whispered looking toward the window.

Harry shook his head and sighed. His hand squeezed her leg while he pressed his head back into the seat hard—if the head rest wasn’t there and he didn’t have to watch the road, she was certain his eyes would be facing the ceiling of his car, searching for strength somewhere above him. His jawline seemed sharper than ever as he clenched his teeth. “Y’don’t have t’apologize.”

“Thank you,” she croaked quietly. “For doing that, I...” she swallowed hard. “I don’t really know what I would have done,” she admitted. The scenario didn’t seem to play out in full if Harry wasn’t there. Yeah, Louis would have helped, but this was different. Harry didn’t say anything. She pulled his wallet out of her apron and placed it in one of the cup holders between them. “I don’t want—”

“It’s yours.”

“Harry, it’s not that—”

“Bunny, I haven’t stopped thinking ‘bout you all afternoon. Since I met you, really. I can’t stop. I used t’think ‘bout nothing but hockey. But s’like you’re the only thing on m’mind now. M’happy when I see you around the rink taking pictures. M’happy when y’try t’skate on m’pond. I love our lessons, and I want t’have y’in my house all the time. M’happy when you’re around. Happier than I’ve been in years, and I didn’t even know I wasn’t completely happy. I can’t have one-night stands anymore. I tried, I did. You’re a long shot. I know that. Someone who deserves a guy so much better than a hot-tempered hockey player as evident by the piece of shit that hurt you in so many ways,” His voice is quiet. “S’not a secret I like you. A lot. If we can only be friends and roommates—because m’sure as hell not bringing y’back to that sorry excuse of an apartment—then s'what I’ll do.”

There was only a brief beat of silence while she contemplated all he said. “I worked really hard on my apartment,” she whispered.

This seemed to soften him a little. He sighed. “It’s adorable, Bunny. It is. But m’constantly worried you’re going t’be kidnapped, robbed, or worse. You can move in this week,” he insisted. “I have the day off after tomorrow and I was going t’spend it at the gym t’lift with the guys so we can pack and move your shit all the same instead.”

“Harry, I don’t think that will work... I have to pay out the rest of my lease if I move out early.”

“That’s bullshit,” he scoffed. She didn’t say anything. Because she kind of agreed that it was bullshit. But she couldn’t move in with Harry. Not when he just admitted he liked her the way she did. It set her heart into a dramatic flutter. Being legally bound would hopefully be enough of a reason for Harry to agree to let her stay until her lease ran out. Then she could figure out her next steps. “Fine,” he decided after a moment. “The black debit card in m’wallet will take care of it.”

She snorted unable to hide her shock. “Harry, you can’t—”

“M’done arguing with you ‘bout this, Bunny.” She frowned and looked at her hand, turning her wrist and wincing ever so slightly. “Is your wrist okay?” He asked.

She shrugged and answered instinctively. “It hurts; but I’ve had worse,” she gasped at her own mistake almost instantly. “Oh fuck, I mean—” she stopped speaking. It didn’t matter. It was too late. Harry saw through it and understood exactly what she meant. He clenched the steering wheel tighter and he swallowed. The bob in his throat looked like he was drinking a glass of nails.

“Did he ever hurt you like this before?” Harry’s voice was an octave lower than she ever heard it. His eyes narrowed as he stared forward.

She didn’t want to make matters any worse, so she didn’t speak. Didn’t move. For several seconds, the car seemed so silent it was as if the tires weren’t even on the ground anymore or if she was breathing.

“Harry,” she whispered eventually.

Harry took a deep breath not liking the tone of her voice and pulled off to the side of the road.

“What are we— Harry!”

Before she could understand what was happening, Harry was outside and opening his trunk and the car doors locked her inside. Instantly, he pulled out one of the back-up sticks he had in case his two in the locker room broke in the middle of a game (or if he wanted to practice while he was home on the pond out back). He slammed it hard on the pavement multiple times grunting as he did until the stick snapped. Then he grabbed a second and repeated this process again, swearing and cursing like he was imagining Kael was under the stick.

Once satisfied with his destruction, he collected the broken pieces and dropped them in the back before sitting in the driver’s seat again, his breathing only slightly elevated.

She stared at him wildly. Her eyes were wide and beautiful. “If he touches you again, m’killing him,” he said simply. It was a promise. His breath was heavy from the exertion.

She nodded; Harry put the car in drive and continued back toward his place. His hand went right back on her thigh, which she still found comforting and warm, even though she had only had the luxury of his hand on her for no more than a few minutes. “Okay,” she whispered hoping there wouldn’t be an again to speak of.

Harry let the silence linger again. “My apartment is the other way,” she reminded him.

He rolled his eyes. “I just told you, Rookie, y’not living there anymore.”

“Oh my God, Harry. You can’t be serious.”

He snorted. “No. I am. As a heart attack.”

“Harry I can’t move in—”

“Of course, y’can. I have like five bedrooms. Pick one. Pick three for all I care.”

She swallowed. “What if I pick your bedroom?” She was attempting to lighten the mood, maybe. Harry wasn’t sure. Or maybe she was trying (and failing) to be annoying. But Harry was never annoyed by her. He was amused at worst. She was adorable. Every little thing she did was adorable.

“Then it’s yours,” he shrugged. He was hardly home during the season anyway. With his niece, Mum, and Gem out of town, he wasn’t home much in the off-season either. He could easily move into another room if she wanted his. In fact, he probably would give her his room. It wasn’t the only one with a bathroom, but it had a nice tub that he knew was being wasted without proper use and it felt like she deserved a relaxing night to soak in the tub until she got pruney and everything else that stressed her in her life disappeared.

“I thought you didn’t bring women home to stay,” she reminded him.

“Never had one that I wanted t’bring home,” he shrugged.

She pressed her head to the window. He was quick. Didn’t miss a beat. “I’ll stay tonight, but I’m not moving in. My uncle is going to kill you.”

He shrugged. “S’a long line of Glacier Wolves who’ll want t’kill me before him.” She giggled softly under her breath. Harry glanced at her peripherally and smirked at the little smile that graced her lips. “M’niece is over a lot in the off season,” he told her. “Gem and Mum come by too. So s’had women there before.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Then, yeah. Never had a woman I wanted to bring home,” he repeated. Harry parked in his driveway, turned to her, his hand still on her thigh and honestly, she never wanted it to move.

“Are we still friends?” She blurted. He just admitted he liked her. It was no secret she liked him too. It could make things very awkward going forward so she wouldn’t blame him if he really didn’t want to be friends any longer.

“What a weird fucking question, Rookie,” he shook his head.

“Can you just tell me?”

“Yes, we’re still fucking friends. Despite the fact I would love t’be more.”

She closed her eyes. “He really fucked me up, Harry,” she whispered. “He... he wanted some trophy girlfriend that doted on him and worshipped him for being a good hockey player. He didn’t want me to be my own person. He didn’t want me to have my own hobbies or interests. Like I was nothing, a nobody—”

“Rookie,” he whispered.

“—and I just let him treat me that way. Because it was easier than confronting it—”

“Rookie.”

“—So I don’t want to keep falling for you because you... you’re so talented and you will overshadow me and you should. But it’s so fucking cold living in the shadow of someone else and I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

He winced. “Bunny,” he wanted her to stop.

“I don’t love that nickname either,” she sighed. “I want to. It’s cute and it’s even cuter when you say it. But the connotation of being a puck bunny is just more of what Kael insinuated and I don’t—”

“I don’t think you are a puck bunny. S’not why I call you that. Y’wrinkle your nose like a bunny when y’concentrate. S’the first thing I noticed when I met y’taking pictures rink-side. And you’re always going and going like the little Energizer bunny. But mostly, s’because you’re so fucking cute like a bunny. S’honestly nearly nauseating sometimes.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She swallowed trying to keep all the feelings of falling for another hockey player at bay. “So, I make you sick?”

He smiled. “Excessively.”

“And you want me anyway?”

“Excessively,” he whispered cupping her face. She leaned into the touch, closed her eyes, and sank into the way his hand caressed her cheek for a moment.

Sighing, she opened her eyes and looked at him shyly. “You probably know that he cheated on me,” she reminded him. “And the worst of it, I don’t know if it was the first time, and I don’t want to know. Because I already felt stupid for letting him belittle me and letting me forget parts of myself.”

Harry tilted his head back fully staring at the ceiling for a moment. “Yeah...” And now Harry knew this wasn’t the first time he had hurt her either. Whether it was intentional or not.

“And...” she swallowed. “I don’t think you’re like him... if you take anything away from this conversation, please know that I think you’re nothing like him. You’re up front about most of everything. He kept things from me. But... you’re you and you could have any woman you want in any city you want. I don’t fault you for that—I really hope you know that... but I don’t want to be a number anymore, Harry. I don’t want to feel like an idiot, and I don’t think you would intentionally make me feel like an idiot but—”

“Bunny,” he interrupted, turning back to gaze into her eyes so intensely it felt like everything around them disappeared except for the space between them. The seriousness in his green eyes made her stomach flip. They seemed darker. Like the color was changing to a darker shade to explain how serious he was and how he meant every word that spilled from his mouth. “I think you’re brilliant,” he whispered. “In every facet of your life. I’ve thought about nothing but hockey m’whole life. It has been eat, sleep, and breathe ice, pucks, and sticks. The second I met you, every thought has been ‘bout you,” he reminded her. “If I never played another game of hockey, I really think I would be okay s’long as y’were around.”

Her heart felt like it was broken and whole all at the same time. It was too sweet. She bit the inside of her lip. “Well, I don’t want that,” she whispered. “You’re quite good,” she reminded him.

He chuckled. “The point remains, Rookie... I want you t’have everything y’could possibly want. I want t’do anything I can t’help y’achieve anything y’want t’do.”

She looked at her lap. “I can’t believe you went to get a drink.”

“I really didn’t think y’would be there... was hoping I’d run into Louis and maybe he would know if y’were okay. Y’never answered my texts. Didn’t tell me y’made it home.” he frowned. “Why did y’lie t’me, Bunny?”

She took a deep breath. “The whole team has been so nice to me,” she whispered. “I’m not really used to that...” she trailed off. “Callie got so many penalties, you had to interrupt your post-game cool down to walk me to your car, everyone wants to take shifts to watch me... you have to drive me home, give me one of your car... I’ve seriously disrupted your lives... and it was all just too much today. I don’t want to bother you guys. You didn’t sign up to have a kid or a pet you need to watch. Uncle Charlie didn’t have to give me a job with a hockey team. I feel like I didn’t earn anything. It’s so sweet that all of you care, but it’s weird for me...”

God, she was cute. Even sad she was cute. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Y’haven’t disrupted our lives,” he promised. “We’d do this for anyone.”

“That’s comforting I suppose.”

“C’mon, s’late... we have a game tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Harry,” she whispered.

“Course, Rookie,” he squeezed her leg one more time and then got out of the car. (As she predicted, she hated the feeling of Harry’s hand anywhere else but her thigh.)

Entering his house, Harry kicked off his shoes and headed down the hall toward the bedrooms. She texted her group chat with Michael and Marc as she flopped onto the couch until she got more direction from Harry.

I’m at someone’s house for the night so don’t worry about me.

Michael reacted to her message with a thumbs up.

It better be a HOT hockey player.

Michael reacted to Marc’s message with a thumbs down.

Good night, Marc!

I want every INCH of detail

That earned a vomiting emoji from Michael. I do NOT want any details.

GOOD NIGHT MARC

Harry hated that he had a big house. If they were at her apartment, they could have been squished in her bed right then. She wouldn’t be down the hall and half of Harry’s mattress wouldn’t have felt so cold. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. Fortunately, his phone vibrated almost immediately. Like she somehow knew he was awake.

Are you awake?

M-hmm

Can we get breakfast, please?

Harry would throw himself down a set of stairs for her if she asked. “You could jus’ come in here t’ask,” he called.

“I’m creating boundaries!” She answered from a guest room. “Besides this bed is comfy and I don’t want to get up,” she giggled.

“Well, I don’t want boundaries,” he grumbled to himself. He wondered if she slept without pants on. Not that it mattered. He was turned on by the thought of her naked in his bed or if she was in a full snow suit.

“What did you say?” She called.

“Nothing,” he grumbled and pressed the palm of his hand over the front of his shorts willing the blood to rush anywhere but his dick at the thought of her in a goddamn snow suit. “I just have t’shower,” he mumbled.

“Okay, I’ll be here,” she sighed, and Harry could picture her snuggling herself further into the mattress. Maybe it was for the best she was in another room. If she was there looking all cute and cuddly on his bed, he would have to quit hockey. He would probably spend the rest of his life worshipping her on his mattress in every possible way.

Plus, his dick would never be anything but hard.

“Jesus, fuck,” he sighed to himself under the spray of the warm shower. He tried to think about anything but her pretty self in the other room. In his house. In his bed. In his clothes. She was probably changing into her uniform from the night before, so at least he wouldn’t see her in the shirt and shorts he gave her to wear for bed.

He shook his head and focused on shower and not what it would feel like to press her against the tile or—

“Fuuuuck,” he touched his forehead against the tile. Hockey. Defense. Goals. Niall. That’s good. Niall, gross. Callie—FUCK Callie. Asher owes me ten dollars for betting Lang wouldn’t say “good effort” in their pool game the other day.

His shower took twice as long to shower because he had to actively think about something other than his pretty friend. Once he was out, he slipped into a pair of sweats and one of his long sleeve practice shirts. As he put on his deodorant, he realized it took him an embarrassing amount of time to realize what she was doing as he got dressed. “Rookie, you are not,” he called as he hurried down the hall.

“Not what?” She asked innocently.

“Doing my dish—Rookie, what the hell!”

“They were just there! And I was bored, Harry. Plus, you didn’t say I couldn’t!”

“I told you last time.”

“Well yeah, but that was last time.”

“Please stop,” he begged and rubbed a hand over his face. “We’re supposed t’be going t’breakfast.”

“Well, I figured while you took two years to get ready,” it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes max but maybe his effort to not think about her in his shower took longer than he thought, “I would make myself useful,” she shrugged and set the final dish on the drying rack beside his sink. She turned the water off and ran the dishtowel over the counter and edge surrounding the sink. She turned, leaning against the counter. Her black and silver uniform top for The Locker Room was on her again. Her leggings from the night before clung to her legs like a second skin.

He wondered how she could look so cute after working a hectic, busy shift, then slept all night and it barely looked like she had a hair out of place. “What?” She asked looking down at her shirt. “Do I have something on this? We’ll have to stop at my apartment first if I do. I’m not going out with you to breakfast when you look hot and I look like trash,” she frowned.

He snorted. “Y’don’t look like trash, Rookie.”

“Well, do I smell or something?”

“No,” he shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You’re beautiful. Stunning really,” he shrugged one shoulder and reached out to touch her face. He skimmed his thumb along her cheek wishing he could lean in and kiss her until they were both breathless. He smiled softly enjoying the way her cheek warmed under his touch. For someone so snarky, she was awfully shy. “Let’s go,” he tilted his head toward the main hallway. He made his way before she could read into it as he was sure she was wont to do.

Harry opened her passenger door and smiled wickedly at her as she got in. “What?” She asked, her eyebrows pinching together.

“You think I’m hot,” he sang.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Harry chuckled, closing her inside.

Kael didn’t play because he was injured. The report sustained it happened at practice the day before but everyone on The Chargers bench knew. Kael kept his gear on but moved to the end of the bench for the starters and lines of his teammates that would be playing. He hardly cheered, hardly moved.

The rest of The Wolves sent death glares to everyone on the team. Harry was checked into the boards more times than he could count. But every time he caught sight of the pretty photographer twirling her wrist in between photos, he felt grateful for each hit. She continued to take pictures, placing her camera into the cutouts of the glass around the ice.

Kael hid from pictures from his own media specialist, the news outlets, and even the fans during the game and in between periods.

“Coward,” Asher growled as they left the ice and headed to the locker room at the end of the game. The group that typically resided in the back of The Locker Room was livid when they found out from Harry that Kael hurt her. They too must have seen the way she twisted her wrist around between pictures. Harry wondered if she noticed she was doing it. It ate at him that it wasn’t the first time that piece of garbage hurt her. There was nothing Harry could do—well, maybe if he ever did figure out time travel, he could. But for now, he could take the hits from Kael’s stupid team and make sure the pretty photographer was okay.

Besides.

He may have had a tough game physically, but Harry was truly on cloud nine.

“Sweetheart, you good?” Lang called from the front of the line heading back toward the locker room.

“I’m good!” She answered.

Harry didn’t even care that Niall was walking alongside her and not him. Or that Callie gave her arm a squeeze when he walked by. It didn’t bother him that Asher was as irate as him either.

Because the word Styles was on her body. It was purposeful. If Kael paid attention, he would see it. He would know she supported Harry, regardless of how outlandish it was (or wasn’t) that he defended her last night. Harry knew the second he saw it, that Kael was going to look at the pretty girl with his number on her and start fuming in his seat. Maybe that’s why his team aimed for him so vehemently throughout the game as well.

Whatever, Harry could take it.

It was well worth it to see his name on her jersey.

Harry realized it was his time to shine after they went out for breakfast. He drove her to get her car at Louis’. He followed her home to the shady apartment building. He wasn’t in the mindset to leave her for any bit of time given the night before. Maybe not for a good few days either if he had it his way. They had away games coming up so they would be all but trapped together on a plane, a bus, and in a hotel so that was in his favor.

He really hoped she would be in a nearby room at the hotel. Or better yet, there wouldn’t be enough rooms, and he could share his with her.

“Why’d you choose eleven?” She asked when she came out of her room after getting ready. She was fluffing her pretty hair and tugging at the hem of the jersey that she had put on. It took a moment to register in Harry’s mind that she was talking to him and was anticipating a response. In her mind, it was no big deal that she was nonchalantly wearing his name and number. That she was by far the prettiest thing he had ever seen. The sweetest person he knew.

He swore his heart skipped a beat as his vision refocused on the lovely girl wearing his name on her back.

He cleared his throat. “S’the first number I ever got,” he shrugged. “But now I say m’so good, m’number twice.”

She grinned and laughed quietly under her breath as she put earrings on with The Chargers logo. “I like that. You are very good. I’ve seen a lot of hockey myself. I like to think I’m a good judge of ability.”

When Harry was younger, he thought if he could have a superpower, he would want to time travel. As he got older it changed a bit, he wanted super strength so he could be the strongest hockey player. Read minds so he could predict the movements of opponents on the ice. Since he met her, he returned to the tried and true: if he could time travel, he could figure out twenty seconds after he kissed her if she hated him or kiss him back, he would have done it right then.

He smirked. “So m’the lucky one today?” He asked pulling on the sleeve.

“I don’t know, does wearing someone’s jerseys constitute as lucky for the day?”

He nodded. “Yeah, very much so, Rookie.”

“Then sure; you’re very lucky, Harry,” she rolled her eyes.

Harry had to bite the inside of his lip to keep his smile from splitting his face in half. He turned away slightly and caught sight of a string of pictures on her little kitchen bar. “What’s all this?” He asked, picking up a photo and inspecting it. It was one of the ones she took while Harry was practicing before the rest of the team showed up. Another photo she got laying down on the ice of Callie’s skates when Harry wanted to rip his teammate’s arm off for holding her so close that day. One from Niall’s empty net. Another of Asher’s locker, his jersey on display. A close up of the C on Lang’s jersey. One of just the empty rink—no fans, no players, nothing.

“Oh... I don’t know,” she looked away shyly piling them together. “I was playing with the idea of making a series of photos,” she flipped one over to indicate the back showed the number three in the line. “You guys are attractive and stuff, but I thought there was a lot of beauty in the little things behind the bench, you know? It’s not just fights and points. The rink is so pretty,” she shrugged.

Harry grabbed her hand before she could stack any more of them away. He looked at each of the pictures painstakingly selected from the hundreds of photos she took each day. The way the light shone off a helmet, the way a shadow fell on the bench. “They’re beautiful, Bunny. Why don’t y’do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make it a series?”

She shook her head. “No... I don’t know. Not many people care about sports photography,” she shrugged. “Not like this anyway.”

“Rookie, I think every team owner and manager in the league would pay t’have this set in their arena.”

“No way, there’s not a single headshot of a star player. In sports, the only thing that really sells by far is you guys and your pretty faces,” she patted his cheek. “It’s tragic, I have some incredible photos of a few baseball diamonds at sunset. But there’s no fans and no players so it just wouldn’t sell well.”

“Show me,” he urged.

She sighed and put her jacket over “We’re going to be late, Harry. Uncle Charlie is already going to be annoyed with me that I’m wearing your jersey. And so will the rest of the team.”

“They all had their turn, Rookie, y’made me wait forever,” he grumbled. They didn’t have to be annoyed. They didn’t have a crush on her the way Harry did. They all knew that. His teammates were his family, but they made him cranky no less; teasing him about how smitten he was about their photographer.

She smiled sadly. “Harry,” she sighed. “I’ll show you another time.”

“Promise?” He pleaded.

“Promise?” She repeated in disbelief. Harry was nearly thirty years old and sounded like he was in kindergarten.

“Promise you’ll show me,” he said pointedly.

“Alright, yeah," She shook her head, sighed with a smile still on her lips. "I promise.”

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yinyuedijun · 2 days ago

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FUNERAL MARCH | evil eye x fem!reader x jiji

The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human either. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits. (Or: You and Jiji are now engaged. Of course, you have to ask the Evil Eye to marry you too.)

10.8k words. romance, smut, mild angst & comedy. rough sex with the Evil Eye (piv, creampie, overstimulation, bizarre magic, cnc elements in the “nooo it's too much” kind of way, dubcon with the magic). content warnings: aged up characterization, implied past sexual abuse (not involving Jiji or Evil Eye), brief mentions of suicidality, religious references (Taoist ghost marriage), use of English idioms that don't translate well into Japanese (forgive me), canon-typical crass humour. mdni.

I. THE GHOST

You’re in love with his Vessel.

The Evil Eye is well-aware of this. He hadn't known love as a human, but he saw it often enough in the House. Countless families moved in over the years, husbands and wives with little children who were frightened when he tried to play with them. After photography was invented, pictures lined the walls and decorated nightstands. They immortalized brides in their white kimono, grooms with their wide smiles, elegant ceremonies, decadent banquets.

The couples always looked like they were having so much fun, the Evil Eye noticed. Not just in the photos, but in their daily lives in the House—dancing with each other, pressing their lips together, laughing and singing and holding each other. Then they'd die together, hanging themselves because of that shitty worm. The Evil Eye always felt a kind of sadness seeing them in love—he’d never had that, and he'd never get it, and it was unfair in a way that filled him with a searing rage.

But he was even angrier when they died.

It used to make him angry too, when you talked about the Vessel. When he took over and he caught you laughing at something the Vessel had said, or dancing with him, or pressing your lips together. (Kissing, you’d told him the first time it happened. It's called kissing someone, when you do that.)

Then you started kissing the Evil Eye too, and suddenly he wasn't so angry anymore—the latent rage in him for once eased.

Still, it makes him feel sullen when you tell him, “Jiji and I want to get married.”

You are lying next to him in bed. Sweat is cooling on your naked body—you always get so hot when you and the Vessel get into bed with each other, or sometimes when he’s got you bent over the dining room table, or occasionally when you touch each other in that place you call the ‘locker room’, which tends to leave you extra breathless. No matter the place or the time, you’re always lighthearted, glowing, satisfied. It's the effect that the Vessel has when he’s inside you.

(Sex, you told the Evil Eye once, it's called having sex. Or making love. Not all sex is making love, but it's making love the way that Jiji and I do it. And then the Evil Eye demanded that you show him what exactly that meant, and that's when you took him inside you for the first time. He felt so good and so close with you that for a while, it was all he wanted to do.

Wants to do.)

“What does that mean,” the Evil Eye asks, although he has a good idea. You want to live in a House with the Vessel and laugh and sing and hold each other. You want to die together too, probably, your corpses hanging side-by-side from the same bannister.

“It means we’re going to dress up and make vows to spend the rest of our lives together,” you say. “And we’ll live together and build a home and maybe we’ll have babies too.”

The Evil Eye thinks of all those babies who lived in the House, impossibly tiny humans who were cradled by their mothers before they were burned alive as sacrifices. Before he became the Evil Eye—back when he was merely the ghost of a waif—he’d tried to play with them too, making silly faces and dancing as they giggled at him. He liked to pretend that they were his younger sisters or brothers, but sometimes he wondered how it'd feel to hold them and sing to them like their parents did. How it'd feel if he were a husband with a wife and a kid, what it would be like to dance with someone in the kitchen or tuck a child away into its cradle.

But every time he tried to pick the babies up, his hands would pass right through them. Kind-hearted ghosts can't love people in such a physical way; you need to be vengeful to hold onto anything. He'd had to learn to hate all humans before being able to touch them again, and now he's so rife with hatred that he can't love them anyway. All he can do is haunt them.

The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits, and that's why he can kiss you and that's why he can hold you and that's why he’s allowed to sex with you (sex, not love—you've never called it making love when you do it with him, and you never look lighthearted after, and you never glow from his touch: he always leaves you panting, marked up, bruised, possessed).

You love the Vessel, so it makes sense that you would want to do all that with him: live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together.

“Oh,” he says. “Sounds fun.”

You laugh. “Yes, I hope it'll be.” Then you lace your fingers with his, and look at him in a tender way that he'll probably never get used to. In a tender way that's meant for the Vessel.

“So, then,” you say almost shyly, “Do you wanna marry me too?”

II. THE VESSEL

Auntie Seiko is as beautiful, young, and no-nonsense as ever. Between meeting her as a child, coming into her care as a teenager, and now seeking her help as an adult, Jiji doesn't think she's ever changed. Most familiar to him right now is the expression that she’s wearing, the one that suggests that he might have shit for brains. Turbo Granny, perched on her shoulder, seems equally bemused, her porcelain cat eyes narrowed into judgemental slits. He'd been hoping that Momo and Okarun would understand his feelings, but they seem equally exasperated—Momo might even be a little appalled.

Anyone else might be disheartened by this reaction, but Jiji is undeterred. These are the people who once realised his wish to protect the Evil Eye; surely, they’ll also realise his wish for him to find happiness.

“—so we talked to him, right? Or my beautiful wifey talked to him, anyway—”

“We're not married yet, Jiji,” you interrupt dryly. “Don’t call me that.”

“—my future beautiful wifey talked to him about getting married, and he said yes! I'm on board. I think they should get a proper ceremony and everything. I know it's a little unconventional since she’ll be marrying me too, but I don't mind sharing, and I'd be willing to work out any legal issues. I'm sure we can find a country where polygamy is allowed.”

“Don’t you think the bigger problem is that he's an evil spirit?!” Momo asks—yells—but Jiji only shrugs.

“Evil or not, don't you think he deserves love and romance just as much as anyone else?”

“No!”

Jiji supposes that he can't blame Momo for her reaction, given how many times the Evil Eye has nearly killed her. Deeming her a lost cause, he turns his gaze on her boyfriend instead, almost puppy-like.

“Don’t you think so, Okarun?”

“Not really,” he admits, and Jiji nearly wilts at the betrayal before he adds, “but I understand where you're coming from. The Evil Eye was like a child when he first possessed you; his greatest wish was to find a friend to play with. Now he's basically a young man who's found his first love and his greatest wish is to be with her… and she, um, happens to be your wifey…”

“Don’t call me that!” you protest, oddly embarrassed, and Jiji resists the urge to squeeze you. You're so cute when you're flustered, it's unbearable. He makes a mental note to tell you this on the way home, though he already does this every day as a rule. When you were both still students, he would say it whenever he walked you home from school; nowadays, he more often says it during long-distance phone calls, or on FaceTime, or occasionally via text if your schedules are that misaligned. But he still makes it a point to remind you everyday, no matter where he is in the world: You're so cute. You're so pretty. You're beautiful, did you know that? I love you.

I love you, he thinks as he watches you. You look bashful right now. “We both want the Evil Eye to find happiness, and I’m pretty sure marriage will make him happy. And, well…” Your gaze drops. “It’d make me pretty happy too.”

Something in Jiji’s chest swells when he sees your expression. It feels mostly sweet, but there's also a painful edge to it. He’s always carried a kind of ache in his ribs ever since the day he caught his parents dangling from the second floor of the House and had to untie the nooses himself. Nowadays, he isn't sure if the pain is from that memory or if it's from the weight of the Evil Eye’s curse. Sometimes it feels like they're one and the same. Often it feels suffocating, like he's drowning and there's nothing he can do to breathe again—not laughing or joking or playing or running.

But you're always there when it’s hard. You're always beside him when he wakes up in the middle of the night to gasp for air, the way he used to when he was haunted as a teenager: It's okay, Jiji, you tell him, voice tender, I'm here for you. You aren't alone. I won't leave you. I won't let anything hurt you. I love you. The nightmares always leave him soaked in cold sweat, so he often switches in these moments, his consciousness displaced by a lonely, crying spirit. He doesn't know what it is you say to the Evil Eye, but when he comes back his heart feels lighter, and from that he knows that you've comforted him too.

The Evil Eye loves you—that much is clear. He loves you as much as Jiji does, probably. In a different way, sure, but just as much in strength.

It follows that nothing would make the Evil Eye happier in this world than getting married to you, Jiji figures. Dead or alive, who wouldn't be elated to marry the love of their life? And Jiji knows it'd make you equally as happy; only an idiot would think that you didn't love the Evil Eye back, and he's no fool. Some people might find it weird that he wants his wife to marry another man—and an evil spirit, at that—and maybe they're right for that. But why would Jiji ever turn down so much collective joy?

So he nods vigorously, giving Momo an intense look. “It'd make us all happy. Trust us!”

Momo gives you both a long, disbelieving stare.

“Well, when you put it that way…” She sighs, resigned. “When’s the wedding?”

“That's what we wanted your help with,” Jiji says, and he gives her grandmother an earnest look. “We want the wedding to be perfect, but we're not really sure how a ceremony would work with a youkai. What dates to choose, what venue to book, who could perform the rites… I mean, could you perform the rites, Ma’am?”

Auntie Seiko frowns. She looks on the verge of admonishing both of you, but Turbo Granny beats her to it: “Idiots. You can't do a Shinto ceremony with the Evil Eye. All three of you will combust into flames.”

“Oh.” Jiji remembers all the aliens and spirits alike that have burned upon attempting to chase them into the shrine grounds. He deflates. “Then… he can't get married?”

You squeeze his hand, and Jiji suspects that it's more for him than yourself. You don't seem nearly so worried.

“Would a Buddhist temple take us?” you ask.

“Doubt it,” Auntie Seiko says around her cigarette. “They’d probably try to exorcise your hubby on the spot—and even if they didn't, no Buddhist priest here would ever stand for tying the spirit of the deceased to a living person. It's how you get hauntings.”

“I don't mind being haunted by the Evil Eye,” you say immediately, and Auntie Seiko snorts.

“I know you don't, but it’s not in our job descriptions to curse people just because they're horny for a ghost.” Momo and Okarun cough loudly, and Jiji feels himself flushing; you cover your face with your hands. “I know a Chinese Taoist who’s done a few ghost marriages, though.”

“They’re okay with cursing people?” you ask, watching her through your fingers. “I mean—not that I mind.”

“Nah—they perform it as a pacification ritual. It would be the safest way to do something like this.” Auntie Seiko studies you closely. “I'm not sure how my acquaintance would react to an evil spirit or to polygamy, but I’ll call him and ask.”

“You're the best, Ma’am!” Jiji bursts, beaming. “We’ll save you an honoured spot in the front row! Turbo Granny too!” Elders should be respected, after all.

Turbo Granny makes a skeptical noise. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, numbnuts. Even if Seiko can find a priest stupid enough to oversee this wedding, there’s something you need that you probably can't find.”

“If we could find Okarun’s balls, I’m sure we can find anything,” you joke, but Granny seems unimpressed, her paws crossed over her chest.

Jiji frowns. “What exactly do we need to get?”

Turbo Granny gives you both an ominous look.

“His bones.”

III. THE CHILD

The Evil Eye hates being in the House.

All the spirits that he carries hate it too, airy things pulsing with rage and sadness and grief so palpable that he can always easily weaponise it. Any good memories that were ever constructed in the House are eclipsed by the hangings, the knife wounds, the suffocation, and also the burnings. Especially the burnings. Especially the white-hot lava washing over him, eating into his flesh—especially his last few days as a twitching, starving, dying thing on a stake; especially being buried, then the House being built atop his remains. Then all the children and babies sacrificed after him, wailing and screaming: unfair this is unfair let me go let me go let me go it hurts it hurts it hurts please stop this please help me Mom Mommy please help me please come back I don't want to die.

Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

He isn't ordinarily bothered by rage; he was born of it, after all. But he doesn't like feeling so much rage around you. The Evil Eye likes haunting you and will probably someday curse you—both things he once did to the families in this House—but he doesn't want to kill you.

He glances around the basement—the man cursed by Turbo Granny is here, and so is his lover. (Girlfriend, you’d called her. Momo is Okarun’s girlfriend, just like how I'm Jiji’s. You agree to be someone’s girlfriend when you have feelings for them and want to act on them. A-ah—what? Y-yes, I do have feelings for Jiji… Why do you ask?) The dancer and the Shinto priestess aren't here, and neither is the girl with the lizard suit, but they aren't needed.

If he tries to kill you, Okarun alone could probably stop him. This is the only reason that the Evil Eye agreed to let you come in the first place.

“This is so gross,” you whine, completely oblivious. You're knee-deep in the white gunk left by that shitty Tsuchinoko worm. “I can't believe you spent a whole day buried in this stuff, Okarun.”

“It saved me and Turbo Granny,” he replies, pushing his glasses up as he digs through the mess with you. “The lava would have gotten to us otherwise. I think it probably preserved the Evil Eye’s bones too.”

“I hope so…” You turn to the Evil Eye, head tilted. “Are you sure they're here, Jashi?”

Jashi. You say his title like it's name and not a curse. (Jashi, we should go try out this cafe, you'll say, or, Jashi, let’s go check out this show, or, I missed you, Jashi, it's been too long—here, can you feel how much I need you?) Sometimes he wonders if you ever forget that he's a ghost, or if using this Vessel fools you into thinking that he's human. If you lay beneath him in bed thinking that it's technically the Vessel inside you, and not just the monster possessing him.

“I’m a ghost,” he reminds you bluntly, “‘course I know where my remains are. Dunno if they've turned ash, though. Guess you can't marry me if they have.”

“No, we’ll get married,” you say, unbothered. “I'll dig up all the dirt from this shithole and say my vows to that if I have to.”

Okarun gives you a funny look. “How are you gonna get all that dirt out?” he asks.

“I'll make you carry it.”

“Huh? Says who?”

“Says Momo. He’ll help me carry it, right?”

“He will,” Momo affirms, and her boyfriend chokes. She ignores him, scanning the wreckage. “I hope it doesn't come to that, though. Hey, Evil Eye—can’t you be more specific with where we're supposed to dig? Coordinates or a map would be nice.”

“I'm not a fucking radar!”

You give him a pleading look. “Please, Jashi? Can't you try? For your future wifey?”

The Vessel's face gets hot. Its heart does the stupid thing where it jumps when you're around, or when he holds you after the two of you have sex, or when he stares too long at the engagement ring that's usually on your finger (now hanging around your neck on a silver chain, safely away from Tsuchinoko gunk).

“...fine. Gimme a sec.”

He closes the two eyes of the Vessel so that he can focus on his third. Human vision is too bound by shapes and light and figures; it distracts and deceives him. When he can't see your face, it becomes easier to hone in on his resentment. Unfair, his remains whisper to him, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.

Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

“There,” he says eventually, pointing at the ground, “it's all there. In one spot. Guess I'm still a skeleton.”

You've got something of a sixth sense—whether it’s an effect of touching the golden ball or coupling so often with a spirit, the Evil Eye can't be sure. However it came about, it seems to tell you that he's right. Your eyes go soft when you rest a hand on the dirt he’s pointed at.

“Momo, Okarun,” you say, “Thank you for your help. I can dig this up myself—you guys can take a break.”

“Huh? No, we’d be happy to…” Okarun starts, but then Momo’s dragging him out by the collar and making him squawk.

“Sure—we’ll wait outside!” she says. “C’mon, Okarun, let's look for Mongolian Death Worm remains—I saw an occult article saying that it has medicinal properties if you make a powder extract from it…”

“You can't take that stuff seriously, Miss Ayase…”

After they leave, you spend the rest of the afternoon digging.

The Evil Eye offers to help, but you are determined to do it yourself. It's okay, Jashi, you say, I’m going to do it. You're going to be my hubby—the Vessel’s heart does the throbbing thing again—so it's only right that I'm the one to unearth you.

He doesn't understand it, but he shrugs anyway. Suit yourself. And he watches as you your fingers dig into the dirt, delicate nails collecting detritus. You don't want to use a shovel, you say, because you're sure that his bones will be fragile and you don't want to damage them. Even when he tells you that his bones are likely ruined in the first place, burned to shit and frail from rot, you don't let up. You just keep digging until you’re picking them out of the dirt.

You roll out a silk cloth, revealing lotuses against a pale backdrop. One by one, you lay his bones atop the pink and ivory thread, and you've found about half of them before he realises that you're reconstructing his skeleton. It's a small, pathetic thing. Help me help me I don't want to die, he can remember himself screaming. It hurts it hurts it hurts please stop. Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

The ghosts of the House begin to wail with rage.

Part of him worries for you—probably the part of him influenced by the Vessel, which is capable of a love that ghosts are not. It knows that you don't deserve his wrath.

“You should leave,” he says, but you shake your head. You take your time as you gather up bones, treating them all delicately as you roll them up in the silk, holding them close to you. As if you aren't in the presence of countless wrathful spirits. As if you are with the Vessel, and not with him.

“You were so small,” you say quietly. “Sometimes I forget that you were a child when you died.”

The Evil Eye stares at you, at the pathetic bundle in your hands. “That was ages ago.”

“But it never stops hurting, doesn't it?” you say, and the walls of the House close in on him. They tell him you're right, that you're a human, that you'll hurt him just like the rest of them, that you need to die too. But you look at him, soft in a way that belongs to the Vessel, tender in a way that the waif-ghost covets, and then the House shudders and goes quiet.

“I’m sorry I didn't help you back then,” you say, and it makes no sense, but he doesn't interrupt you. “I promise I'll make your married life a good one, now that we’re together.”

That's stupid, the Evil Eye thinks of saying, pedantic: I'm already dead. But you rise from the dirt before he can protest, and then you're taking his bones out of the House, cradling him in your arms.

Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

For the first time since being born, his body is allowed to leave the confines of its prison.

IV. THE BRIDE

The ceremony happens at night.

You spend the whole day readying yourself. Aira helps you get into your dress, admonishing you for the satanic rituals you'll soon perform but giving you her blessing anyway. Momo does your makeup, telling you to ignore Aira. Vamola says that you look lovely in stilted, earnest Japanese. Auntie Seiko helps you with your hair; she asks you, all the while, if you would like to wear a headdress that might protect you from evil, or for her to perform a consecration on your body. Turbo Granny is less roundabout, offering to take the Evil Eye’s banana in advance of your marital rites. Serpo warns you not to let the Evil Eye take your bananas—Why are you even here!? Momo yells at him—and Reiko Kashima says you shouldn't listen to any of them. You need to hold onto your man no matter what, she advises.

She also says you're beautiful, though of course you aren't as beautiful as her.

Beautiful. Are you beautiful? You'll be beautiful when you marry Jiji, because you're certain that his PR agent will want you prettied up by a team of stylists rather than a bunch of goofballs. You will need to look good for the photos, at least as handsome as him, and you don't know if you can manage that. You will need to be poised in front of the five hundred people attending, about which ten are your friends and none of which are your family.

You're already married to Jiji, technically. The two of you had a civil ceremony that only Momo and Okarun attended as witnesses, quick and dirty and secret. But the official ceremony will make it real, and you are terrified of that. You love Jiji beyond comprehension, and you know he loves you back tenfold, but you've never been able to rid yourself of the small voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough for him. It's been haunting you ever since the two of you fell in love, and you think maybe even before that. Maybe it started plaguing you when you were young.

When you were a child, you used to ask yourself if anyone would ever love you enough to save you from the things being done to you—the things you were convinced would be irreversible. You had confessed this to Jiji before you had sex with him for the first time. (Making love, he corrected you, I want to make love with you, and it made you feel so shy you nearly kicked him out of your bed.) He'd replied that he did love you enough, and that he would save you as many times as you wanted (I’m sorry I couldn't help you back then, he'd added nonsensically, but now that we’re together, I'll make sure your life is a good one), and you were so happy that you cried.

Sometimes you still cry, thinking about his words. But no matter how many times you replay the memory, no matter how often you tell yourself that Jiji is an honest man, the small voice in your head always warns that he’d lied to you. That your wedding to him will be a lie, too.

You often think about how he would leave you (gently), and why he would leave you (the list is endless). And then you try to imagine life without him—no cheerful kisses peppering your features, no goofy expressions putting you in stitches, no grueling morning runs, no messy kitchen sinks, no you're the cutest girl in the world, you're so beautiful I can't believe I'm dating you, how come you don't believe me when I say that stuff, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again, I know you can get better I'll help you, I dunno how to talk about this with anyone other than you, sorry I cried that was kinda lame of me, sorry I need to go to Spain, sorry I was away for so long, I got you this merch, I got us tickets to this show, is it my fault you're going to therapy again, can you come with me to Berlin, is everything okay, come with me to the U.S., are you okay, are we okay, I don't want to break up, I love you, I love you so much, marry me, I'm being serious please marry me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise I won't leave you—

You don't think you could imagine living without Jiji.

Your looming wedding to Jiji terrifies you, but your ghost marriage does not. You feel calm in your dress, certain in your decision. Jashi has never scared you the way that Jiji has, after all. He doesn't frighten you even when the Taoist priest pulls you aside and tells you, “You can still back out of this.”

“Why would I?”

He dabs at his temples with a handkerchief. “This ritual is dangerous with a being like the Evil Eye. Ghost marriages are meant to pacify benign spirits—not vengeful ghosts. I can't guarantee that he will be calmed by this.”

You give him a quizzical look. “If he isn't calmed, then what would happen?”

The priest swallows. “There are three potential outcomes. One—he is pacified completely and moves on to the afterlife.”

This would scare you ordinarily, but you know Jashi well enough to understand that he would never move on. “Okay. What else?”

“Two—he is unaffected, and things remain the same.”

You wait, watching the way his fingers tremble. A wind blows; it carries the scent of burning sandalwood from the wedding altar.

“And?”

“And three—the most likely possibility—he will attach himself to you and curse you.”

“Oh.” The thought should scare you, but you don't think it's fear that’s squeezing your heart. “What would a curse be like?”

“Devastating. You'll never be able to live a normal life, nor will you have a proper afterlife.” The priest shudders at this possibility, which apparently frightens him too much to further describe. “Listen—if the Evil Eye doesn't pass on, you must not complete the marriage. Completing it would make the attachment permanent, and it would realise any curse he places upon you.”

“‘Completing the marriage”?”

“Consummating it.” His face is white. “Sex magic is unspeakably powerful. I don't believe anyone would be able to break a curse that’s born from it—at least not involving such a great yaoguai.”

Anyone else might laugh at his words, but you remain quiet. After spending so long chasing golden balls and bananas, after nearly a decade of fighting off aliens trying to have sex with Momo and Aira, you know that he is telling the truth.

And besides—you know just how permanently a touch can linger (a lifetime, forever, doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?), so you aren't surprised to hear the kind of curse it inflicts.

“Okay,” you say. “I promise I won't let it happen.”

It is only with this vow that the Taoist consents to overseeing the marriage.

The affair is a hodgepodge of Chinese funerary practices and Western weddings—foreign in every respect, but not uncomfortable. Auntie Seiko, clad in red-and-white robes and a golden headdress, walks you down the aisle. Against all her counsel, a white veil sits atop your head and chases after your shoulders. You stop before an altar of offerings and summoning talismans, Taoist spells lit up by the full moon hanged above. Instead of a bridegroom, you are next to a coffin that holds a tiny skeleton. The priest is before you, now possessed by a death god that will call Jashi back to his remains. Supposedly it is a Taoist deity, but its presence feels more extraterrestrial to you than anything spiritual. You will need to ask Serpo about it later.

You study the audience as the priest begins the summoning ritual. Jiji sits in the front row, watching you intently; if all goes well, Jashi will leave his body for the duration of the ceremony, along with all the vengeful ghosts that once resided in the sacrificial house with him. The spirits of the house scare you more than Jashi; you do not know how they will behave once cleaved from his control. There's a banquet for them in the back, a long table with a spread of incense, flowers, rice, and fruit—but you do not know if it will be enough to pacify them.

Your wedding party is equally on edge. As the White Impermanence begins its rituals, Jiji’s body slumps, and everyone else stiffens in their seats. The air grows rife with malevolence. The stars and moon blink out of existence, the world around you grows silent, and a suffocating darkness overtakes the night—almost as if you have been submerged in Empty Space. Tiny cyan flames erupt in the air around the banquet table, their glow eerie in the darkness. They must all be onibi, you guess.

Jashi himself emerges before you, standing over the coffin that holds his bones. You’d expected him to look like the emaciated child that he'd died as, or perhaps the stick-thin monster that used to haunt Jiji—but he takes another form altogether, a formless shadow that your mind can barely comprehend. You're vaguely aware of Turbo Granny covering Momo’s eyes, Okarun transforming, Auntie Seiko readying her bat—but you don't look at any of them. You only stare, as if in a trance, at the single vertical eye that is now peering at you from the darkness.

It is probably strange that you feel so calm. If you were a normal person, you'd probably run from your wedding altar of incense and offerings. Or, actually—if you were a normal person, your mind would be fraying at the edges, gripped by a desire to self-destruct. You would sob and beg the Evil Eye to lift its gaze and let you go and to return to you your life.

But you are not a normal person. The Evil Eye has never really made you feel particularly suicidal, nor have you ever really wanted to beg for your life before it. Your gaze is calm as you recite your vows from memory:

I shall marry this man. No matter what tragedies may arise, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, help this person—until death, and beyond it. I swear these things before the gods.

When the Evil Eye makes his vows, it is in speech that human ears cannot understand. From the wedding banquet, the spirits of the house cry, their wails cacophonous and wrathful, and suddenly you realise that something has gone terribly wrong. Something has changed with this ghost wedding, and not for the better, but when Seiko rises from her seat, you raise a hand.

Finally, the Evil Eye recedes. The darkness lifts, although the spirits linger. Jiji’s eyes flutter open, immediately anxious and disturbed. You give him a reassuring smile—and the rest of your wedding party, too.

Something has gone terribly wrong. Still, you go about your business cheerfully. You thank the Taoist priest, and you insist to him that you will clean up the altar yourself. You greet your friends and say that they should head for the reception, which will have food for humans rather than ghosts. You peck Jiji on the cheek, beaming at him, and he relaxes and congratulates you.

He cups your face tenderly, kisses you on the nose. “You look happy,” he says.

Something has gone terribly wrong, but you still smile and tell him, “Yes.”

V. THE OFFERING

Your marriage bed is an altar.

Ivory petals are scattered across the bed, along with whole lilies and chrysanthemums. Sweetness permeates the room, carried by the smoke of burning incense. Flames dance upon red candles, flickering as they cast a gentle, soft light. This is your attempt to set an intimate mood, but the Evil Eye does not feel any form of love—he only knows greed. Every object in this room is an offering for the dead, meant for ghosts to consume, and you are the greatest offering of all, waiting for him on the centre of the bed in white silk. You are more fragrant than any joss, riper than any fruit, and he is the most ravenous ghost in existence.

“Isn't this romantic?” you say, beaming at him, and this is when the Evil Eye understands that he absolutely cannot have sex with you.

The wedding was meant to pacify him, perhaps even allow him to move on, but it only did the opposite. Seeing you before him at the altar, vowing to spend a lifetime with him despite all his resentment and ugliness made bare—it only made him more covetous. To move on would be to give up all the love you’ve offered him, the kind of love he'd been denied his whole life.

The kind of love he cannot return.

But he wants it anyway. And like any ghost, he’ll take it—take your love, your heart, your body, your life—if he is allowed to spread your legs and fuck you.

He knows this intuitively, although Turbo Granny also told him this. If you care for her even a little bit, she'd groused, you won’t go through with it. Then she'd threatened to take his banana and his nuts.

But vengeful spirits cannot care for human beings, not truly. It's a wonder that the Evil Eye is hesitating at all, why he feels a pit when he thinks about trapping you. It must be a consequence of his Vessel, who loves you so selflessly that even his body resists hurting you.

“We shouldn’t do it,” he says outright. You blink at him.

“Why?” You tilt your head. “...are you getting wedding night jitters? Do ghosts get nervous?”

He stares at you, uncomprehending. “What? No! I'm not fucking nervous!”

You frown. “Then what's the matter?”

It'll be dangerous for you, he tries to say, but then you're giving him a shy look and untying the sash around your waist. He swallows as the silk robe drops around your shoulders, pools around your thighs. The ivory lace covering your breasts and your core is so sheer that he can practically see through it. It's delicate, pretty—and he wants nothing more than to tear it off and ruin you.

“Don’t you”—you look so flustered, so cute, an echo tells him—“don’t you wanna make love to your wifey?”

Part of him thinks he might cum in his pants. The other part of him wants to leave. Wifey, making love—those are all words that you use on the Vessel. All words that are meant for the Vessel. You're confusing the Evil Eye with your real lover, under the delusion that he is human, unaware that you're being haunted. The Evil Eye is not the man you wish to marry, to live in a House with, to make babies with, to grow old with.

Unfair unfair unfair it hurts it hurts it hurts please please please I don't want to die. I don't want you to die. Why can't I touch you? Why can't I hold you? Please please please—

“I can't.”

Your brow arches. “What do you mean?”

“I can't make love to you.” He pauses, feels a kind of frustration bubbling up when you give him a confused look. “I don't love you.”

Your mouth opens, and you make a faint, strangled noise before asking, “What?”

“I don't love you.”

It takes a moment. You stare at him; you look down; you close your eyes. Your shoulders shake. You'll probably get angry and throw him out, or you'll just calmly ask him to leave. However you do it, you would cast him out, and it would be for the better. You would remain uncursed, free to live out a proper life with the Vessel, and the Evil Eye would get to keep his nuts.

But instead of doing either of those things, you start sniffling—and all the blood leaves his face.

“You”—your voice is so fragile, and it cracks and breaks and his throat feels like it's closing up—“what do you mean you don't love me?”

The Evil Eye's mouth drops open as you start to sob. “W-wait, wait—why are you crying? Don’t cry!”

You start to wail. “You don't love me! I just married you and you don't love me! How am I not supposed to cry?” Between hiccups and sniffs, you pick up one of the pillows and throw it at him. He's paralyzed, forgets to dodge, and it hits him square in the face. “What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing!” he yells. His heart is pounding. It's squeezing and twisting and it feels so bad that he nearly wants to dispossess the Vessel. “You didn't do anything wrong! It's not you! It's—”

“If you say ‘It’s not you, it's me’, I'll kill you! I'll really kill you!”

“I’m already dead!”

“Then I'll beat your ass!”

“You can't beat my ass! You're not strong enough!”

“Then I'll banish you! I'll spray Jiji with hot water everyday and I won't let you come out! Not even to have Pampy! Not even to play with Okarun!”

The Evil Eye’s mouth drops open. “That's fucking mean!”

“You're fucking mean!” You look at him, and your gaze is so watery and pained that the Evil Eye can't help but go to you. He doesn't realise that he's wiping away your tears until his fingers are wet, and he can’t find it in himself to push you away when you press your face into his shoulder and cling to him. His arms—no, the Vessel’s arms; it must be the Vessel doing this—tighten around you.

“Why—why don't you love me?” you whine between hiccups, and the Evil Eye should call you foolish for expecting him, a spirit who intends to kill all of mankind, to ever love a human. To think that you could spend all these years around him and be so delusional about his true nature—is it that you've forgotten that he drives people to suicide? That his intent is to someday kill all of you, after killing Okarun? The spirits of the House scream at him to grab your face and force you to look at his hideous third eye, to remind you of what he is, to say you're a human you should die like the rest of them you’re as guilty as all of them, you would lock me in a cage too, you would burn me alive and bury my bones beneath a House.

Instead, he rubs your back until your breath begins to even out. And rather than grabbing you and threatening you, he clears his throat.

“I'm… a vengeful spirit,” he says lamely. “Love just isn't something that's in our nature.”

“Why not?” you sniff.

“‘cause if it were, we wouldn't be vengeful. We wouldn't even be ghosts in the first place, probably.”

“B-but,” you whimper, “we've been dating for so long. We live together and sleep together and eat together. You take care of me and I take care of you. We go on dates and hold hands. We even have sex—like, a lot of sex. You initiate it!” You sound accusatory, and the Evil Eye doesn't understand why. Of course he wants to have sex with you; it's one of the most addictive things about having this body. The part of the living world he wants most, nowadays. “If you didn't feel anything for me, why would you do any of that?”

He bristles. “Of course I feel something for you,” the Evil Eye says, oddly agitated. “Just ‘cause I can't love doesn't mean I can't feel. Resentment is what anchors ghosts to this world in the first place.”

“Then what do you feel for me, if not love?” Your fingers dig into the Vessel’s white suit. “Resentment?”

The Evil Eye stares blankly. He doesn't know how to describe it all—the longing, the greed, the envy for the Vessel. The euphoria and closeness of being inside you, a feeling so good that he didn't even know that such joys existed when he was human. The idea of living in a House filled with wedding photos, the thought of making babies with you that he might hold and touch and kiss. So many things that he never had in life. So many things that he can't help but want in death.

So many things that he can't help but want to trap you for them.

“...no, I don't resent you,” he says. “It’s more like I wanna curse you.”

He expects you to cry more—after living for such a long time among humans, he now has enough manners to understand that it is rude to curse someone who has only ever treated you with unconditional love, even if in error—but instead, you become strangely quiet.

You pull away from him so that he can see your face. It's—hopeful?

“You wanna curse me?”

“Yeah. Curse you—haunt you, possess you, control you.” He shrugs. “The usual things that ghosts do when they're so attached to something that they can't move on. You know.”

“Oh.” You wipe your eyes, and the Evil Eye has to stop himself from helping. “I'm so happy.”

“...you're what?”

“I'm so happy that you feel that way about me.”

He stares at you. “You're happy that I wanna curse you?”

“Yeah.”

The Evil Eye studies you. You never react to him in ways that make sense—you’re endeared by him when you should be afraid; you treat him sweetly when you should be callous; you even seem to enjoy his violence when everyone else always punishes it. Now you’re touched by the idea of being cursed.

“Why?” he asks flatly. “I thought you wanted to be loved. Or make love. Something like that.”

You give the Evil Eye a long, thoughtful look.

“Jashi,” you start, voice gentle now, “what do you think love is supposed to look like?”

A married couple in a House. A baby in his mama’s arms. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight.

“Dunno.” When you stare at him, as if expecting something, he grows agitated. “I said it's not in my nature. Talk to the Vessel about that stuff, not me.”

One of your brows arches. “Why? You're my husband”—his heart kicks violently at that; he hates this fucking body sometimes—“I want to know what you think love looks like. And besides…” Your voice gets all quiet, and you look away. “It’s not like Jiji would necessarily agree with my views anyway.”

That gets his attention. “What do you mean?”

You hum. “How do I explain it… well, for example—if I found happiness with someone else and left to be with them, Jiji would be heartbroken, but he would be happy for me. Because he loves me, it's ultimately most important for him that I'm happy.”

A married couple in a House. Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A baby in his mama’s arms. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair I don't wanna die I wanna play with other children I want to dance in the field please please please why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—

“That's fucking stupid,” the Evil Eye blurts out.

“But that's what he’s told me—and I believe him.” You smile at him. “Now, how do you think I'd react if someone took you or Jiji away from me?”

This feels like a trick question. He squints at you. “The same?” he tries.

“That would be ideal. But honestly,” you admit, “I would resent you all for the rest of my life and then think about killing myself. That's what love looks like for me.”

“Oh.” The Evil Eye nods, relaxing. “Yeah, that makes way more sense.”

You laugh, sounding genuinely amused. “Jiji doesn't think so. It really worries him that I feel this way. It would worry most people, actually.” Then you get a little quiet. “I do want to get better for him, but it doesn't come naturally to me, the way that he loves me.”

He doesn't like the tone you're using—soft, uncertain. Mournful. You feel like one of the spirits in the House right now. He thinks about the way you cradled his bones, and his hold on you tightens.

“Where are you going with this?”

“I'm saying that I don't mind that you want to haunt me, or possess me, or whatever.” Your eyes are earnest. Steadfast with the confidence you had as you unearthed his grave. “To be honest, being cursed by you isn’t nearly as frightening as being loved by Jiji.”

The Evil Eye cups your face, thumbing away your tears. Would you cry like this if you knew what it would mean, to be possessed by him? Would you regret your offer to him, the way that the Vessel regrets his? Or would you stare at his true face as you did at the altar and vow to love him anyway?

Instead of asking you any of this, he allows you to loop your arms around his neck.

“I want you to make love to me,” you murmur sweetly as you climb atop him, and that makes him pause.

Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair unfair why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—

“I said I don't know how to do that.”

“Fine,” you say, and then you’re pressing your lips against his, grinding your cunt against his hardening cock. “Then curse me instead.”

VI. THE DEMON

You've always known that the Evil Eye couldn't love you in a normal way.

It was obvious from the outset, simply cataloguing him for what he is: a monster born from human sacrifice; a curse that drives people to madness, to suicide; a thing that regularly exploits Jiji for his body and makes him commit violence against his will. Jiji and Okarun and the rest might be delusional about the Evil Eye nowadays—thinking that he's just like a kid, that he just wants to play, that he’s in love and wants to get married and play house—but you are not. He can't play with Okarun in normal ways, and he can't love you in normal ways. Every desire ends in blood. That's how it began for him, after all. How he was born.

Your mind has always known this, but your body only learned it the first time you had sex. The Evil Eye doesn't know how to make love to you the way that Jiji does. You’ve tried countless times now, and he's even demanded that you make him do it that way so that he knows what the Vessel gets to feel during sex with you. You've kissed him deep and slow, gently touched him until he felt desire, taken him inside you and pressed your forehead to his. Just like that, you encouraged him countless times, you're doing so good. Good boy. You're doing so well. I love you.

You always end up with your face pressed into the mattress, cheeks wet with tears and throat hoarse from screaming. Sore and bruised and fatigued and it's too fast, it's too big, I can't, please, and with any other man you'd probably hate it but when it's Jashi you always end up moaning and begging for more. You'd always thought you’d be disgusted with yourself for having this kind of sex, but with him, you feel too good to really care. All you can think about is his teeth marking your neck, the cruelty of his rough hands, how his cock fills you so well that you can hardly breathe.

He’s taken you like this countless times, but something feels different about it right now. It might be the incense, so thick in your throat and your lungs that you're dizzy with it. It might be the fragrant petals crushed beneath you, soft and strange things that you stole from your wedding altar. Flowers for the dead, the priest had said to you, given to the ancestors, or to bodies as they're lowered into the ground.

You think maybe that's happening to you, right now: you’re dying, you're being torn apart, you’ll break in Jashi’s hands. It'll leave a mark on your body for a lifetime, forever—and you don't need to be saved.

But even after being fucked so many times, even after your mind has been made so hazy and distant, you're still trying so hard not to come apart at the seams. An agonizing pressure is building in your belly, and you can't let it burst. It’s inconvenient when you get too wet; it makes Jashi switch, which is normally hilarious but would feel catastrophic right now, when you’re drunk on the feeling of his cock inside you and don't want any of this to end. But it's so hard, keeping yourself from drenching him—you can hardly think when he's fucking you like this, let alone control yourself.

“I c-can't anymore,” you whine. “Jashi, you gotta stop, I need a break, please—”

Jashi doesn't care. He takes and takes and takes, and of course he does. It's in his nature as a vengeful ghost, as an existence so empty it can't do anything but consume the life around it. It's not enough that you’ve been ruined by his cock, that you're being used like a fleshlight. It's not enough that he’s made you cum countless times—not out of consideration to you, but simply because he's addicted to the feeling of you squeezing and milking him. It's not enough that he's spilled himself inside you more times than should be possible, uncaring of the consequences. It's not enough, it's never enough—he always needs more from you; more tears, more begging, more feverish, white-hot pleasure.

You shouldn't be surprised when you feel his hips start to stutter again, his cock twitching inside you. Some distant part of you is alarmed anyway, even as your cunt tightens around him, eager to be filled. You've never let anyone fuck you raw before tonight, never had anyone fill your womb up like this—not him and not Jiji; you've always been too afraid of pregnancy—but with each passing moment, it is harder to remember why. Not when it feels so good to be pumped full by him, your body flooded with a strange warmth each time. Unnatural, you keep thinking, this feels weird, he's doing something to me, he's cursing me, he's claiming me. But all you do is wrap your legs around his waist when he cums again, greedy for more, and you sigh in relief at the feeling of it.

He has to stop after this. He has to be sated. He pulls out, his cock throbbing against your swollen pussy, painting it a creamy white—and then he throws your legs over his shoulders and sinks back into you.

“Nooo,” you moan, squirming, thrashing, knowing you'll burst if he fucks you again. “I can't, I can't—I can't hold it in anymore, I can't—”

“Then don't,” he grunts. He looks straight down at you, his weight heavy on you, oppressive, unnatural. You hold your breath as you look at his face—dark and vicious, the vibrant eye on his forehead enrapturing. For the first time in your life, you feel a madness creeping in as it stares at you, fraying at your control. You can't move, can't resist him, can't think, and when he starts thrusting again, your body floods with a euphoria so hot that all you know how to do is cry.

You’re going to break from the ecstasy.

“W-what,” you gasp, “what are you doing to—”

Something hits your sweet spot, and your voice clips off into a desperate whimper. His cockhead starts grinding against it, and you try so hard to squirm, to stop, to control yourself—but whatever he's done to you has made you weak, pliant, and you feel yourself start to pulse. Pinned beneath his gaze, you can neither get away nor fight it. You can only surrender. The pressure is too much, your womb is too hot, and suddenly your back is arching and you feel like you're dying as you gush all over him.

You're in hysterics as you come down, panting and gasping for breath. “No more, no more,” you beg, squeezing your eyes shut, clinging to him. You sob into the crook of his neck, and finally—finally—he relents.

He’s gentle as he pulls out, careful as he sets you down on the bed. Kisses pepper your cheeks, your eyelids, your lips. Then, finally—his forehead pressed against yours, lashes fluttering against your skin.

“You're alright,” Jiji murmurs. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”

VIII. THE CURSE

The Evil Eye has cursed you.

Jiji saw it on your body: a sunburst of strange characters on your stomach, an eye in the centre. The Taoist priest had broken into a pale sweat at the sight, its implications: if anyone else tries to touch you, whether with the intent to do harm or pleasure, then the untold carnage will be wrought upon them. Should you ever try to leave the Evil Eye, he will drag you back with such violence that it will shatter you. That so long as that vengeful ghost is bound to this earth, then so too shall be you.

Jiji is less worried than he probably should be. He doubts that the Evil Eye would truly ever hurt you, and also doubts that you’re physically capable of leaving him anyway. Ever since being marked, you haven't been able to go a day without having either of them inside you—brutally if it is with the Evil Eye; gently if with Jiji. Either way, you’ve been desperate for their touch, plagued by an all-consuming lust if you can't have them. It puts a wrench into all the plans for your respective careers and for the long distance arrangement. Auntie Seiko plans to train you to suppress the curse, but it isn't sustainable.

Privately, though, there's a part of Jiji that doesn't mind the excuse to see you all the time. It’s not that he wants to deny you your freedom, quite the opposite, but—you're his beautiful wife. And he's ridiculously in love with you. He can't help but miss you every day you're apart, and he also can't bring himself to complain about this particular aspect of the curse.

He also understands the Evil Eye for doing this to you. Sure, cursing you wasn't Jiji’s first act as a newlywed—but he also kinda gets it.

Jiji shares dreams with the Evil Eye, sometimes. He sees within them everything that the Evil Eye has experienced—not just as a demon, but as a spirit, a child, a waif. Sometimes he hears the thoughts that he once had, the ones that made him turn vengeful: unfair, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.

Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

After all that? Of course the Evil Eye doesn't experience desire the way that a human would. Of course playing with someone is the same thing as killing them. Of course loving someone is the same thing as cursing them. And the Evil Eye loves you—that much is obvious, would be obvious to Jiji even if they didn't share a body—so of course his instinct was to carve you open and mark you with his spell.

Jiji feels poorly about it sometimes, guilty and selfish and like he should have ended things after all. Then you'd be free to love whoever you want, without the threat of certain death looming over you. But then you smile at him in bed, so tender and pretty and glowing beneath him. “I'm glad I get to be with you both,” you sigh, and then he can't really complain. After all, you're his beautiful wife. Jiji is ridiculously in love with you. Of course he wants you to be happy.

If it really ever comes down to it, if you really ever wanted to leave—Jiji knows he'd have himself exorcised. He'd rather die than hurt you. But the possibility seems so distant right now, with how you're studying the stone monument before you. You seem peaceful, tranquil, a calm figure cut against a placid, blue sky. Jiji guesses that's appropriate: cemeteries are meant to be resting places.

This plot of gravesoil belongs to the Enjoji family, and there is a spot carved out for you, right next to the space reserved for him. You bear his surname now, so when the two of you pass, you’ll be allowed to rest side-by-side. He already knows what the Evil Eye would say to that: you'll live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together and be buried together. And if Jiji could talk to him, if he could for once directly speak with the monster inhabiting him, he'd beam at him and say yeah, we sure are.

But the Evil Eye would miss one thing, and it's that he'd also be buried with you. He'd be buried with both of you.

In your hands is an urn, plain but dignified. It carries the ashes of a waif hundreds of years old, the remnants of a brutal sacrifice. The last step of a ghost marriage is to bury the bones of the bride with the remains of the groom, but you're an Enjoji now, and Jiji’s family does cremations, not burials. When the time comes, you'll be burned, and your ashes will be mixed with those belonging to Jashi. He’ll go before either of you: by the end of the day, his remains will be in the crypt, though Jiji doubts his spirit is going anywhere.

“We’ll be interred with each other, someday,” you say to the ashes, tender. “But first we’ll spend a lifetime together.”

Then you turn to Jiji, your smile sunlit. It's shy, because you're always shy around Jiji—even though he's now your husband and you’ve married him in front of five hundred people and he's made love to you every which way on every piece of furniture in the house since then—and you add, “And we’ll spend a lifetime together too.”

Jiji laughs. “I guess you're stuck with me,” he says, and a frown briefly overtakes your face.

“We’re all stuck with each other,” you correct him. “You're cursed as much as I am.”

“I guess.” He scratches his cheek, sheepish. “Sorry you ended up with a husband who’s possessed by a ghost.”

“I wasn’t talking about Jashi,” you say, and you seem a little uncertain, but Jiji can't help but smile. Partly because he appreciates it when you're earnest with him, but mostly just because he loves you.

“You're so beautiful,” he says, “did you know that?”

You huff at him, turning around. “You’re too much,” you chide, but he hears the fondness in your tone. Jiji grins, and—in the privacy of the cemetery—takes the opportunity to loop his arms around you. You giggle when he squeezes you, and then your voice goes quiet.

“I love you,” you say, “did you know that?”

“Uh huh.” He spins you around so he can waggle his brows and give you his most reassuring look. You snort violently at his expression. “It’s super obvious. You can't resist my charms.”

When your laughter passes, you look down at the ashes in your arms—the child that you carried out of the House.

“Do you think,” you ask, voice odd, “he knows that?”

Jiji’s eyes soften. Because he shares dreams with the Evil Eye, and sometimes he shares thoughts with him too—like the pain in his chest that's been aching ever since he found his parents hanging side-by-side from the second floor, the one that grew every time he found the body of a spirit medium, the one that choked him when his relatives called him cursed and slammed the door in his face. He slept on the ground in front of their house after that—he didn't want to go back to the place where his parents nearly died—and called Auntie Seiko the next day, when he realised that they truly didn't want him around.

Sometimes he shares dreams with the ghost haunting him, and when he screams in his sleep he can't tell if the voice in his throat is truly his or if it actually belongs to the Evil Eye. But no matter its origin, it goes quiet when you hold him in bed and kiss his forehead. Just like how it went quiet when you carried that skeleton out of the House.

Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?

“Yeah,” Jiji says. “Yeah, he does.”

END

some general notes:

this was a weird fic to write. ordinarily I would write the evil eye as having a childish and immature narrative voice; however, I (1) had to balance it with an aged up characterization, and (2) did not want to get cancelled, so I instead ended up with something in-between that feels a little awkward

there is jiji-focused companion fic that is like 50% done about him fucking you nasty after he switches places with the evil on your wedding night. I will probably finish it and post it when s2 comes out LOL

i know this is not my best writing rip please forgive me

some cultural notes:

taoism has real-life sex magic practices and places a lot of significance on, err, certain bodily fluids in terms of spiritual energy. none of these beliefs have anything to do with getting cursed via freaky ghost marital sex, but they served as the general inspiration for the curse in the fic (alongside dandadan canon, which coincidentally also places a lot of spiritual significance in sex and sexual organs lol)

the vows recited by the reader are a modification of standard japanese wedding vows (found on Google, take with a grain of salt). incidentally, western-style weddings are apparently quite popular in Japan, hence the decision for the bridal dress.

a lot of the wedding details are inspired by chinese funerary practices in addition to actual taoist ghost marriages. I took a lot of creative liberties with the wedding scene in general; real-life ghost marriages are quite different (from my understanding; I have never attended one)

#jiji enjoji x reader #jin enjoji x reader #evil eye x reader #dandadan x reader #girl i dont even know which tags people use for the evil eye. has anyone else out there written an evil eye x reader fic #im not even certain ive seen another jiji fic but at least my man has a full name to tag LMAO #nsft #yueshuo.fics

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shadamyheadcanons · 2 days ago

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@shadowsfascination showed me this post from the Writing-prompt-s blog:

“Some say that an invisible red string is tied around the fingers of soulmates meant to be together forever. As it turns out, you can see these red strings, and have therefore created a highly successful matchmaking business.”

It gave me two brief ideas. The first one is a little more angsty and strictly involves Amy, while the second is fluffy and Shadamy-centric. They both have happy endings, though.

Angsty version:

Amy learns very early on about her gift, as it’s rare but not unheard of. She’s precocious about it; when she’s five, she’s prone to doing things like seeing happy couples with unconnected strings and bluntly saying, “You’re bad for each other.” Naturally, Amy’s mother is mortified by this behavior and urges her to stop doing it.

At first, this seems like a normal reaction...until one night at dinner when Amy asks, “Mom, Dad, why aren’t your strings attached? Mom is attached to the mailman instead.”

That’s how the truth comes out that her mom is cheating on her dad, which leads to their divorce. Amy blames herself, and her parents don’t do a very good job of convincing her otherwise. The resentment’s there, and she can tell. From then on, she resolves never to share her gift–her curse–with anyone for fear of ruining something else.

This continues until she hears two good friends of hers talking. One is trying to defend her clearly abusive partner, saying he’s “not always like that,” he’s “usually very sweet,” etc. And Amy just can’t hold it in any longer. She blurts out that they’re not meant to be together. The one she belongs with is the best friend who brought her in, the man who’s holding her as she’s speaking. Everyone’s silent for a moment, and Amy immediately regrets it...until six months later, when the two are dating and thank her for stepping in.

Amy embraces her gift at last and uses it to help others, becoming a matchmaker and relationship therapist. However, she spends just as much time “matchbreaking,” carefully working to break up couples who are bad for each other. She learns that sometimes, the best way to spread love is by ending ties that pull in the wrong direction, like pruning a plant of old leaves to allow new ones to thrive. It’s hard sometimes, but there’s no one who’s better at it.

Her mother never makes amends, but her father apologizes profusely for how he treated her when she was younger and introduces her to her new stepmom, thanking her for giving him the opportunity to meet her.

Now, the happier option:

Amy can see the strings tying people to their soulmates. Aside from aromantics like Sonic, who have little knots/bows on their fingers to show they’re complete on their own, everyone has a string...except for Amy herself. Hurt but determined, she decides to start a matchmaking business to spread love around the world in her own way, even if she can’t be a part of it.

Then, she meets Shadow, the only other person she’s met without a string. He brushes off her concern, as he doesn’t put stock in the concept and has reluctantly resigned himself to being a “dead end,” but Amy insists on trying to match him up with his soulmate all the same, as she feels everyone who wants a soulmate must have one. She finds it’s not so easy without the cheat sheet she’s had all her life. While getting to know Shadow and considering all the wonderful things he could offer as a partner, she can’t help but fall for him herself. Likewise, Shadow sees all the care and effort she’s put into bringing him happiness and fulfillment, the passion and devotion no one else could ever match. He doesn’t stand a chance, either. Amy takes the plunge and gets together with him even without that divine confirmation.

The truth of the matter, one that Shadow suspects, is that someone with the gift simply can’t see their own string, but Amy doesn’t need that validation to know she belongs with him.

#shadamy #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #not a headcanon #aaaaah!#I meant to save this and fiddle with the formatting later or maybe add a title #but i accidentally posted something early. again T_T

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bogkeep · 2 days ago

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i have never really kept up with any modern day royals since they're really just celebrities and celebrities have never caught my interest, but i learnt a great deal against my will when i worked as a hotel receptionist during the pandemic - with the rack of newspapers and tabloids right in front of me, the tv in the lobby always turned to the news channel, and little to do but scroll the internet for eight hours every day. for a while, one of the princesses (not the crown princess, although she would have been if the inheritance laws had included women at the time, as she is older than the crown prince) (i remember her from TV, long ago, talking about communing with angels), or rather, her boyfriend/fiancé, were making headlines every day. you see, she was dating (and has since married) this american grifter and self-proclaimed shaman who kept getting rejected from publishers for trying to publish a book about "spirit hacking" - and yes, it DID instruct people to simply get rid of cancer by changing your attitude.

i mean, i wish "imagine if a pseudoscience grifter was picked as the symbolic leader for your country" was a shocking statement few could relate to, but unfortunately we live in the stupidest timeline. well, maybe not THE stupidest, since girlboss princess is thankfully not our next queen, but it's like... if you don't believe in a god that has appointed these people to rule, how do you justify this system? and even if you did, how do you accept god to have chosen people like these?

as i said, i knew pretty much next to nothing about modern royals, so when i listened to the podcast 'you're wrong about's episodes on princess diana, that was the first i ever learnt of her. she wasn't even born into this horror show, and it killed her, long before she did die from it. it's in one of those episodes one of the hosts say, fame is abuse. i think about that all the time.

ok so i think that my favourite fantasy subgenre is The Inherent Tragedy Of Being Born Into Royalty. which mostly means that i like to read about gay princes but with some nuance

#the current king of norway seems very nice and chill and i appreciate that #the norwegian line of royals is also pretty short on account of us not having our own royals for long periods of time #so i understand how it is a point of pride to a lot of norwegians that we DO have one now #but we do not need them?#and i don't think anyone deserves to be born into that position for better or for worse #and in this day and age. mostly worse i think #none of the power and all of the fame and abuses that come with it #i do wonder if pseudoscience girlboss princess wouldn't have been Like That if she had BEEN the crown princess #i imagine you have a lot less freedoms if you were #we'll never know!

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cherrysweets-world · 2 hours ago

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Eyes of the Gods XI

series masterlist - part ten

Pairing: Geta x fem!Reader x Caracalla

Summary: You dream of the future of Rome

Warnings: 18+, minors dni, unhealthy relationships, controlling behavior, period typical sexism, obsessive/possessive/ relationships, talk of pregnancy, historical inaccuracies, manipulative behavior, jealousy, mentions of slaves/slavery, mentions of miscarriage(not readers), past domestic abuse, unedited

Word Count: 5.5k

With Macrinus safely detained, the palace descended into uneasy silence once more. Macrinus was stubborn; he had yet to reveal what poison he had used but the healer had not been overly concerned. Other than some irritation and bruising at the back of your throat and a slightly unsettled stomach, you were miraculously fine.

It would have turned out differently if Caracalla hadn't been so quick or you had not noticed the difference in the taste of the wine. The 'what ifs' continued to flit around your mind as your hand curled around your stomach, fingers trembling.

It had taken what seemed like hours for Caracalla and Geta to fall asleep. They lay on either side of you, Caracalla's hand on your left shoulder and Geta's on your chest. Caracalla occasionally thrashed in his sleep, seemingly choked with panic , but he seemed to have settled down in the last half hour.

Before, when it had been just your life in danger, you had not felt quite so torn. You had even proven that you were able to somewhat defend yourself. And whilst the ferocity of the emperors was an issue for most, you had found yourself benefitting from it, becoming complacent.

That was not what you wanted for any child of yours. To have to constantly be alert, ready for some kind of attack. The worst being the one you couldn't even see, like poison.

Your thumb idly brushed over your stomach. It was too early to tell whether you were with child and then, of course, there was the poison to consider. Women lost children all the time, even without outside interference. The inner workings of your womb were a mystery to you.

Your throat throbbed. In your mind you saw a child, red-haired and giggly, and already you knew you would do anything to protect them. Anything.

The air was still and tranquil. You lifted your hand from your stomach and wrapped your fingers around Caracalla's warm hand, lifting it to your mouth a pressing a soft kiss against it. You did the same for Geta before slowly easing out of their arms and shuffling to the edge of the bed.

Your feet were cold against the floor. If they wake up, you told yourself, I shall take it as a sign and think of this no more.

Seconds passed, then minutes. The emperors did not stir.

Serenity overcame you as you accepted the actions you would take next. You could not stay, waiting to find out whether you were with child, only for that child to later come to harm. That would destroy you. Not for the first time, you wondered what kind of man your father had been to raise a hand to his only daughter.

Still, a part of you hoped the emperors would wake and demand that you get back into bed, even as you padded across the room and eased open the door to face the Praetorians.

There were only four stationed outside the door. Many had been sent to guard Macrinus, as though he might manage some miraculous escape, and there were more stationed at all entrances to the palace.

"I am going to visit the healer," you lied smoothly, easily. "I only need one of you to accompany me."

The halls were still and bathed in moonlight as you got further and further away from the emperors'. You had taken advantage of the Praetorians and the fact they would not question you. You forced yourself to set aside your rapidly building guilt.

You had no real plan. Instead you were relying on guidance from the fates. If your attempt was unsuccessful, then that simply meant your destiny was here, with the emperors. If you were successful. . .

As you approached the infirmary, you saw a female slave pause at the entrance, glancing over at you before dipping inside. The beginning of an idea began to take root inside as you got closer and closer, the potent smell of remedies and tonics swirling around your head.

You stopped at the door of the infirmary, glancing back over at the Praetorian. "I would prefer to visit alone."

The man looked uneasy but ultimately agreed. He opened the door for you and you cringed at the noise it made before slipping inside, pressing your palms against it so that it would not make a sound.

The room consisted of two main chambers; the entry way and then the infirmary itself. You could hear the groans of the sick and the low tone of the healer as he talked with someone - probably the woman from before.

You had been here only once before but if your memory was correct, you could find what you were looking for in the set of draws closest to you. You painstakingly pulled the draw open, anxiously glancing over your shoulder for any sign of more guards or the healer.

The draw was full of tunics, just like the ones you had worn before. These ones were perhaps a bit rattier from frequent washes but that was even better. Silently you pulled one out, dropping it on top of the draws before yanking off your own clothing, followed by the jewels the emperors had given you. You left a single bejeweled pin in your hair, tucking it as deep as you could and arranging your hair around it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, your mind insisted. You did not care. You needed to get away, to be alone with your thoughts. Your mind was a jumbled mess that you had no hope of untangling without the aid of time.

You folded the clothing around the jewelry, giving the cuffs one last mournful stare, before gently placing them in the draw and pushing it shut. There was no telling how much time you had left and getting caught at this point would mean you would have a lot more to explain.

In the other room, you could hear the woman and healer moving about. Heart-pounding, you tugged on the tunic and smoothed it out before attending to your hair. The woman had been of similar build to you, her hair a similar shade, and you arranged yours to mimic hers.

Before it was too late, you went to the door and pulled it open. There was a chance the healer might get curious and come to see who was there so you let it fall shut quickly and did not look at the guard. He was stood with his back to the door, spear at his side. You scanned his side profile once, searching for suspicion, before turning your back to him and beginning to quietly tread away.

It was a pain to make sure you did not turn back or walk too quickly, lest you look suspicious. You kept expecting to hear the shout of the Praetorian, or the questioning tone of the healer. Neither of these things happened. If you had not been so preoccupied with trying to breath steadily, you would have been speechless at your fortune.

Naturally, you headed for the kitchens. That might have been the worst place to go before but now there was no-one there to recognise you. You entered the stairway, finally allowing yourself to descend into a swift pace. It was not inherently suspicious; in fact, it made it more likely that anyone who saw you would leave you alone, assuming you had been sent on some errand by an impatient master.

You paused only once to glance around the room where you had spent so many years of your life. The kitchen was not completely empty but the men at the stove hardly spared you a glance, too busy spooning soup into their mouths.

The kitchen had provided security, food and warmth to you on many an occasion. You could smell the day's food lingering in the warm air. It was also potentially the first place the emperors would come looking for you, so with once last look, you pried your fingers from the entrance and dove deeper into the slaves' quarters, heading for the exit.

Far too late to turn back now.

As expected, there were more Praetorians stationed at the exit. Your hands began to sweat as you approached them. It was impossible to predict whether one of them would notice you, even without the luxurious clothing and jewellery.

You came to a stop in front of the guard who stood directly in your way, leering down at you with hard eyes. He searched you for the mark of a slave but did not find one.

"Where are you going?" he asked, breath wafting down into your face.

"An errand for the healer," you swallowed, the motion painful.

"At this hour?"

"He said it could not wait."

The other guards were beginning to turn around, curious. If one of them recognised you it would be over. You could not even begin to imagine the type of punishment you might face.

Finally the guard grunted, moving aside to let you pass. You tried not to allow your relief to show on your face. Instead you nodded your thanks, lowering your head once more before passing by all the guards without a peep. It felt as though you were passing through a pack of dogs who may catch your scent and alert their owners at any moment.

Sweat beaded along your brow and you swiped at it as inconspicuously as possible. Each step felt like a mile but you did not stop, not even as you began to feel the palace at your back, looming over you. Your eyes began to sting and still you did not stop, the night enveloping you like the old friend it had once been.

You walked on, and on, and on.

The stench of the cells was almost indescribable. Piss, blood and fear. Geta breathed in the latter, let it settle in his chest, reminded himself of whose fear it was. Reminded himself that he was the one in charge.

The Praetorians stopped outside a specific cell, flanking him on either side. Macrinus was sat at the very back, spine pressed against the wall and chin held high. His skin looked sallow already from a single night, dark eyes peering out at him with pure hate.

Perhaps that would have disturbed Geta before. This was, after all, the same man who had pandered to him and fawned over his brother for several months now. How had he been so blind? How long would it have been before Macrinus plunged a knife into his back?

Somehow, none of that felt like it mattered anymore.

Geta leaned forward until his chest brushed against the grimy bars. "You have one chance to answer, master of lies."

Macrinus laughed loudly, smugly. "What poison did I use on your lady love?"

"Where is she?"

Macrinus paused, smile twitching on his lips before they pulled back into a fully-fledged grin. He clapped his hands together, letting out a bark of laughter. "She is gone? Truly? Well, I hope you don't mind my saying so, but I do wish she had chosen to go a day or two earlier. Might have saved me from all this trouble.”

Geta slammed his palms against the bars, the sound ringing throughout the dimly lit room. He observed Macrinus a moment longer before turning to the Praetorians. As much as Geta wanted to torture Macrinus himself, he had other priorities.

"See to him," he spat, "make sure he understands that this is not a laughing matter."

Geta was almost at the foot of the stairs by the time the yelling started. He lingered for a second, waiting for satisfaction to hit, but it did not. Instead his chest felt tight, uncomfortable.

Torturing Macrinus did not bring you back.

Part of him had known Macrinus had no direct hand in your leaving. Geta recalled your shiny, panicked eyes, the wobbly smile you had given him before going to bed. Fear of Macrinus, of others like him, had driven you to do something incredibly reckless.

It was something Geta almost understood - almost. Mostly he was angry and shaken by your absence. Understanding could come after you were returned to his side. For now there was only panic and the faint realization that somehow, at some point, he was going to have to tell his brother.

You spent the rest of the night curled up in the streets, as close to a fire as you dared get without drawing too much attention to yourself. When the sun rose you rose with it, stretching your arms above your head and brushing the dirt from the creases of your tunic.

There was nowhere to go, no-one to see. Aimless, you began to walk. If you stayed in one place too long you were certain the Praetorians would soon stumble upon you. You dragged your feet, kicking up tiny dust clouds as you trod on.

You supposed that eventually you would have to find employment elsewhere. The single pin you had kept would get you a bed for a couple nights as well as a few necessities. It was worth more than that, no doubt, but you would have to downplay it's value in order to avoid suspicion about how you had acquired such a thing.

Your hand drifted up to your hair, brushing against the pin you had buried in it. It would be hard to give it up and you were not ready. You swallowed thickly, barely noticing your own thirst, and continued on.

You stuck to side streets, avoiding the markets and stalls. The Praetorians arrived sooner than you had assumed. At first you were not sure whether they had been sent to look for you but when you saw them stopping merchants and children, grilling them with questions, you knew you had to be more careful.

Every corner you turned there was more of them. You squatted to press your hands into the rough surface of the street, running them over your tunic and eventually your face. Tiny stones stung as they rubbed against your palms but it felt necessary. It was likely they were looking for some fresh faced, well-dressed young woman rather than some rumpled slave.

Hopelessly, you drifted through the side-streets until deciding that it was maybe better to hide in plain sight. You rambled through the marketplace, keeping your body angled firmly away from any passing guards, pretending to examine the merchandise. You got more than a few dirty looks from merchants who probably assumed you were planning on stealing. You made sure to keep your hands in plain sight at all times, lest anyone kick up a fuss.

As the morning trickled by and made way for the afternoon, it became difficult to ignore the hunger brewing in your stomach and the thirst that was beginning to turn your tongue into an immovable object. Several times you thought about stopping, about trading your pin away, but the thought of drinking some untested wine or posca made you sick.

You had not expected this new aversion to liquid and it only served to make your life more difficult. Every time your throat itched with thirst you remembered Caracalla kneeling in front of you, forcing you to empty the contents of your stomach.

I could drink if they were here, you thought, leaning against the side of a building. There would be no need to worry then, because they would not allow any harm to come to you.

With a sigh, you pushed off of the building. You could hear the sound of playing children ahead and followed it, curious. A long time had passed since you had played in the street with your friends as a child. Even then it wasn't something you had been allowed to do often, thanks to your father.

You thought again of the child you might be carrying. What kind of life would they live? Out here, with you, there would be poverty but also joy. You would not be the type of parent your father had been. You imagined yourself as your mother, gentle, reassuring. You missed her now more than ever and mourned over the loss of any advice she may have been able to give.

Your own situation was vastly different to hers but a mother's input could be a valuable thing. You could not imagine how she had lived all those months when you were still small, still fragile. How she had protected you from your fathers quick temper, you did not know.

You imagined your own child and whom they might resemble. Already you felt fiercely protective over a being that may not even exist. A pang of guilt stabbed at your chest as you thought about Geta and Caracalla, distracting yourself with thoughts of what kind of fathers they may have been.

You rounded a corner and almost collided with a running child. Their speed almost took the pair of you to the ground but you managed to steady yourself, the beginning of a smile playing on your lips.

"Sorry!" the child said, offering you an apologetic grin before speeding off.

You watched as he darted about with his friends, playing some game that you had not seen since your own youth. You settled back against a wall and watched, amused.

Palatine Hill was calling you. The emperors were calling you. There was an ache in your bones that was not caused by an ailment that could be cured with medicine.

How had you come to yearn for the two people who you had once feared? You thought back to that day in the kitchens, the way you would have done anything to avoid their attention. Now their eyes were no longer on you and you felt their absence more keenly that anticipated.

The palace had always been a home of sorts. It had kept you fed, clean, clothed. All of that felt like nothing compared to the way you had felt beside the emperors or between them in bed. Fear had given way to something that was, in some ways, scarier.

It was not just fright for your potential child that had made you walk from their room earlier. Only now could you admit it, admit that your own blossoming feelings had sent you reeling and running scared.

How could they not? If you were to admit to how you felt, things would change. You would have to acknowledge that, despite the way they treated those around you, despite the terror they brought upon the citizens of Rome, Caracalla and Geta had clawed their way into your heart so viciously that you were not certain you could remove them without causing yourself physical pain.

"I am a fool," you whispered to yourself, "a selfish fool. Minerva, grant me your wisdom. I need it now, more than before.”

Once again your eyes were drawn to the children. Your hand settled on your stomach again as your mind clouded with thoughts of the emperors.

Geta had said your child would be heir, future emperor or empress of Rome. Maybe it was naive to believe him, but you did.

Geta and Caracalla could be cruel, vicious, despite the tiny changes they had made in the last few months. But your child would not only have them - they would have you.

You knew yourself to be kind, compassionate, empathetic almost to your own detriment. What would Rome be like if she had a ruler with these qualities as well as the necessary strength and decisiveness? A ruler who did not have to fear for their life because they were beloved by their people?

Your mind began to race with hope as you gnawed on your bottom lip. You struggled with trusting your own choices, but something about this felt right.

For once you saw Rome for what she could be, rather than the harsh reality of what she was. You saw yourself with the emperors, safe and content, belly swollen with the future of Rome. Your closed your eyes, let the image sink in. There were countless risks but the rewards were plenty. Not just for you but for Caracalla and Geta. For the people of Rome.

All you had to do was believe that they would protect you and your child. And had they not done that thus far?

You loved Rome for what she was, despite her flaws. You loved your emperors in the same way.

With a shaky breath, you turned and began to make your way back to Palatine Hill. There was no way of telling what reception you would get but you felt certain that you must face it regardless.

Caracalla was disturbingly quiet.

After an hour had passed and there had still been no sign of you, Geta finally told him. Your clothes and jewelry had been discovered not long after and Caracalla sat with them now, fingers opening and closing around the fabric.

Geta had had them brought to Caracalla's rooms where they could discuss you privately. The tale of your escape was slowly unwinding. Your disguise, your lies. Geta had briefly felt mildly impressed; that was, until his focus turned onto ways to make sure you would never be able to do such a thing ever again.

"Macrinus has killed her," Caracalla rasped, "he poisoned her -"

"No, brother," Geta knelt in front of Caracalla, allowing his own fingers to brush your stola. "It was her own terror that made her flee - but she is still here, in the city. She will be back."

Caracalla rocked back and forth, mouth working furiously as his hands tightened into fists. Geta got to his feet, recognising the signs of an outburst waiting to happen. Geta also wanted to shout and scream - he could not resent his brother for doing so.

When he had awoken in the early hours of the morning he had, at first, been so deliriously happy it made his head spin. He had you by his side and Macrinus in a cell. Then he had felt the space between him and his brother, felt how cold it was, and had felt sick to his stomach.

It had taken five minutes to locate the Praetorian who had gone with you to the infirmary. Like the fool he was, he had still been waiting for you despite nearly three hours having passed. Much confusion had followed and it had taken several more hours to uncover the details of your escape. By that time you could have been miles away - but still in the city. Geta was certain you were still in the city.

The idea that you weren't made his breath short and his palms sweaty so he refused to think about it.

Caracalla shot to his feet, your stola a limp ball of fabric in his fists. "We must execute those who were stupid enough to allow her to slip away - start with that Praetorian! Start executing people and she will certainly return!"

Geta wanted to do just that. He ran his tongue over his pale lips, deep in thought. If there was someway to guarantee you would return, Geta would execute a hundred Praetorians without a second thought.

"There are Praetorians in the city now. I am certain they will return her to us, brother," Geta gripped his brother's forearms and shook him. "The gods will see her safely returned."

Indeed, the man would be dealt with, but Geta had decided on sending him out to look for you instead. His own desperation to keep his life would ensure he did a thorough job.

Caracalla slumped foreword, resting his forehead on Geta's shoulder. "How could she do this? I thought - I thought -"

Geta ran his fingers through Caracalla's hair in what he hoped was a soothing motion. "It has already been done, we need not dwell on it now. If - when - she returns, we will deal with it then."

Macrinus would pay for his part in all of it. His part and more. That was certain.

Geta’s lack of anger towards you had taken him by surprise. All he felt was a frantic desperation to see you, to have you tucked safely at his side. Consequences be damned - you had to be here to face the consequences and you were still nowhere in sight. The afternoon was passing by and you were still not here.

Caracalla let his head fall back, blazing eyes darting around Geta's face. "She will never leave this place again."

Geta laughed, near-hysterical.

“Never,” he agreed, “never.”

A group of Praetorians spotted you once you were within two miles of the palace. You recognised Consus and he, in turn, must have recognised you.

The surrounded you on either side, boxing you in as you walked the rest of the way to the palace. There was a sense of relief in the air but no-one was entirely relaxed. The reaction of the emperors was on the forefront of everyone's mind, you were sure.

You may be punished. You accepted this with your chin held high. Still, you would do your best to explain your feelings and motivations, however rash they seemed. Stomach churning, you marched on and tried to ignore the wobble in your knees.

Maybe you were being entirely too hopeful in thinking they wouldn't physically harm you. No matter how hard you tried to imagine it, you could not see either of them raising a hand with the intent to hurt you. If that was to be your fate, well, then you would deal with it.

For the first time since it had all began, you felt a sense of control. You had chosen to go back. You had been able to see beyond the emperors and get a sense of your own feelings without being distracted by wandering hands and sharp eyes.

The palace winked at you in the setting sun. There was no feeling of impending doom or terror. You felt resolute, ready for whatever may happen after you entered that building.

There had been no plan, no thought out plot to deceive. Only a sense that you had to get away, like a trapped animal gnawing off it's own limb. Your mind had been well and truly clouded. By the attempts on your life, thoughts of an heir, the emperors.

Now you felt as though your mind had had a chance to clear some of the debris from the last few weeks and it had left you wanting. Wanting them.

The Praetorians became tense as you entered the palace. The entire place was on edge, as though it was seconds away from coming apart. It was hard to believe this was your doing. You would address that gnawing feeling of guilt later, after you had righted your wrong.

The Praetorians did not stop. They urged you on, closing in tighter around you as though you might slip away. Their nerves were affecting your own. You ran your tongue over your bottom lip, internally cringing at the dryness you felt. To have your confidence slip from you now would not do.

They took you to a place you had not been before. It was similar to other parts of the palace but you did not recognise it. You stopped at the door, pressing your hand against the intricate carvings and letting the edges bite into your palm. Hesitant, you glanced at the Praetorians.

They shuffled even closer. Leaving again was not a possibility, even if you wanted to. Despite their tough demeanor you could see the pleading in their eyes. You nodded, partially to yourself, and pushed open the door.

The room was an office, smaller and more formal than the one in the emperors' chambers. The desk sat on a slightly raised platform and was decorated with objects, many of which you had never seen before. The most interesting was a globe, golden and polished in the sun that was streaming into the room from the huge window behind the desk.

Geta stood there, alone.

His back was to you but you knew he was aware of you. You could see it in the hunch of his shoulders, the way his thumb was rapidly swiping back and forth over the cup he was holding. You swallowed and it was audible in the still room.

Finally, Geta turned to face you. His face was white with layers of make-up, already dark eyes smeared with kohl. The colour contrasted with the red of his eyes. This was how you had always pictured him, before you had ever gotten close enough to see what was beneath.

"Explain."

You wove your fingers together and tried not to make it look like the nervous gesture that it was. His lips were pale, bloodless, and you levelled your eyes on them as you began to speak.

"I had never considered what it is, what it really is, to be emperor," you admitted. "Not until that man tried to kill me and even then - I thought only of myself and why it was happening to me."

Geta was listening intently. You took it as a sign to continue.

"Then, there was the mention of an heir, and I became aware of the fact that I would have to guard more than just my own life," you blinked hard, letting the words spill out. "I thought I could live with people wanting to kill me - but people wanting to kill my child -"

Geta set his cup down. "You were worried for the life of our child? A child that we cannot even be sure you are carrying?"

"Not just that," you raised your hands, "but you and Caracalla! I am aware that there have been attempts on your lives before but it seemed that my presence was spurring these people on. If they could get to me, they may have been able to get to you!"

Geta pressed a hand to his forehead and began to laugh bitterly. "You have no idea the pain you have caused today, and to say that you did it because of us? It is difficult to believe."

"It is the truth," you said stiffly. "I left because I - I love you. I came back for the same reason."

The words sat heavy in the room. Instantly you wanted to take them back, scoop them up and swallow them and let them marinate inside you a while longer. They felt too fresh, too raw, and you wanted to protect them for just a bit longer. You kept your eyes trained on the floor, mortified at your own forthcomingness.

The sound of draws opening and closing piqued your interest but you could not bring yourself to look up. Only when Geta's feet appeared in your eyeline did you dare to life your eyes from the floor.

He held out his hands and you gasped. In each one was a perfectly carved child, petite and mischievous. You recognised them immediately. Romulus and Remus.

"I had these made," Geta said quietly, "after I saw that old carving you have been carrying around all these years. It was a wolf, was it not? I thought you might appreciate these additions."

You could hardly speak. That day felt so long ago now but you remembered the way your wolf had clattered to the floor, the way Geta had snatched it up and examined it with curious eyes. You had been embarrassed to see him handle your tattered old toy.

You reached out to touch them but Geta pulled back, nostrils flaring. "If you accept them now, you cannot take it back. They will be yours and you - you must not abandon them. Ever. No matter how good you believe your reasoning to be."

Your lashes fluttered against your cheek. "I would never."

You held out your hands and let Geta place the children into them. He closed his fingers over yours and squeezed tight until the pain was almost too much. You did not pull away.

He pulled you close until your chest was pressed against his. "You have been unimaginably reckless and there will be consequences."

You did not have it in you to be scared anymore. "I understand."

"Those will come later," he said, staring down at you. "You love me?"

"I do," you breathed.

Geta brushed his nose against yours. "I shall have you say it a thousand times. As punishment."

"I shall take this punishment without complaint," you offered a tentative smile.

"As you should," Geta pinched your waist. "I love you. There, it is not such a difficult task."

You pulled away, clutching the carvings to your chest. You could practically feel your eyes shining. Geta's eyebrows scrunched together as he observed your disheveled appearance. He poured you a cup of wine and you drank it gladly, hardly even pausing to consider the danger.

"Drink it all," he instructed, "and then you must see my brother."

Authors Note - hint: he wasn’t just talking about the carvings.

For those who think Reader got off lightly - it’s not over yet. Rough makeup sex anyone? And she is also about to have guards practically wedged up her ass and will never spend a moment alone again ever ever ever

Geta is also just happy that Reader came back - especially since she did it by her own choice. This might build trust for normal people but he’s content to just make sure it neverrrr happens again

Please reblog, comment, like, etc! I struggled with this chapter and support is what truly motivates me ♥️

Taglist - @only4thefics @doodle-with-rhy @lover-rep-fanfic @claraisme23 @sashaphantomhive @multifandombtch @t6gse370

@merrymunsons @europixie @prestinalove @malfoycassimalfoy

@jovial-cowboy @akamitrani @bocreep @justasmallbean @moompie @duckyhowls @justlibra @mama-frog @fionaapplelover2010

@verypoetrytraveler @darleniweenie

@feral-postings @honey-eyed-munson @an34l @happysparklingshadows @hiroshiro @slaytheusurper @1950schick @quaintquinn @queenofviolenceandnerds @001mon @fandom-princess-forevermore @lostsoldieronahill @boywivlove @littlemissholy @lookingformuses @bbrainr0t @eddiesguitarskills

#eyes of the gods #fred hechinger #emperor caracalla #emperor caracalla x reader #emperor geta x reader #joseph quinn #emperor geta x reader x emperor caracalla #caracalla x reader x geta #caracalla x reader #geta x reader

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ledesaid · 1 day ago

Text

Almost Complete - Shazam without Achilles

↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕↕

AU - Billy receives the news, not all his sponsors agreed that he was to be the new champion of magic.

Solomon was happy to guide him with his advice. ▲ Hercules was convinced that he would be a great lion when he grew up a little. ▲ Atlas was very kind and is willing to bear some of the weight of the new champion. ▲ Zeus had given his approval in consensus with the choice of the wizard. ▲ Mercury really enjoyed feeling the strength of speed through Billy again. ▲ Achilles, yes, this Achilles... He didn't want him fighting for justice or fighting in general. He was completely against a child throwing himself against evil, injustice, pain, and many more things that Solomon hushed up so as not to worry Billy. ▲ It was non-negotiable, Achilles would not give his gift until Billy was an adult or understood the magnitude of what it meant not to have it.

Then...

Yes. There was something that didn't come in the demigod package instructions or even in the warnings...

Billy receives an echo of all the damage he recibes in his divine form.

And boy... does it hurt!

Billy has paraded through all kinds of injuries. Black eyes, some broken or bruised bone and he is proud of having recovered from all of them.

Although...

People are too scared about his integrity.

So, there was only one alternative left, you know, that's why he left the orphanage and all his previous foster homes.

He had gotten used to the whole system and was at a dead end at the same time. But he didn't want to give rise to misunderstandings... Misunderstandings that would generate a barrage of abuse reports... heavens.

That wasn't heroic.

"What happened to you, Billy?"

"Sorry, I fell again..."

Billy doesn't want them to get involved. He wants to be a hero and is willing to bear that weight. That's why he took what little he had and escaped.

So he is opting for a word-based approach. Talking is better than hitting. Solomon always whispers it and, given his situation, he tries to hold on as much as he can.

But sometimes... one cannot choose.

Hal: Cap, are you okay?

Marvel: Yes! It's just going to leave me an ugly bruise. Do you know... Do you know how to heal a rib at home?

Hal: We'll fix it in the Watchtower, Cap. Can you still fight?

Billy knows he should say no. The blow broke a couple of ribs, he has felt a tingling sensation, the magic has healed the blow... But the echo of the damage will leave him with a broken rib.

Another blow in the same place and it could be much worse... Going to a hospital and returning to the system... Goodbye Captain... Goodbye freedom... Hello endless persecution.

Marvel: Yes, throw it at me, I'll send it to jail with one hit.

Hal: That's the spirit, Cap!

With the end of the day, Captain Marvel delivered the final blow.

But the one who really took it was Billy.

As usual, the infirmary in the Watchtower did not detect any damage in his adult form... But they didn't know what awaited him in Fawcett.

Marvel: Batman, sir, I need to take a couple of weeks off. I have an urgent matter to attend to and it cannot be postponed.

Batman: I'm going to send the notice, so we can support you in your city. Thanks for today, Captain.

Marvel: Thank you very much too Batman, I don't know what I would do without you.

Batman: Captain... Are you sure you're not hurt?

Billy: I-I have the resistance of Achilles, remember? I mean! Of course, I'm not hurt, Mr. Batman!

Billy narrowly escapes and prepares. It's time.

That terrible moment in his superhero career...

The curtain must fall.

Billy has already thought about it. The magnitude of the injury...

He must transform as close as possible to the hospital. If he can walk, he will go to his hideout and if he can't, he will have to surrender. Escaping will be terrible, but he would think about that when the time came.

It takes a while, pronouncing that word is so easy... But now it brings a bitter taste.

Sha... Sha...

Billy sits down. It will hurt less if he is sitting when it happens.

Billy: Shazam...

Billy faints next to an alley. It's the last thing he sees before waking up in the hospital.

He wears an oxygen mask.

His head hurts... Had he also hit there?

There were several devices connected, oh, and a social worker next to his bed.

He rejoined the Watchtower three weeks later. Batman had many questions, and Captain Marvel did what he does best: he escaped.

#fanfic #cómics de dc #billy batson #dc captain marvel #shazam #fawcett comics #fawcett #batman comics #batman #justice league #Shazam without Achilles #ao3 #ao3 fanfic

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sir-myst-cake · 24 hours ago

Text

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

#cookie run kingdom #shadowvanilla #burningcheese #mysticcacao #silentlily #pureshadow #hollysugar #beast x ancient #type shit

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berrybore · 2 days ago

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I 100% agree that canon Sally made choices against Percy’s best interest at times but I don’t necessarily think Gabe was one of them.

Let me explain, we do know that Sally knew about Poseidon and camp, there’s a very really possibility that she also knew about the prophecy to an extent. As in, she must have known her son would be in a crazy amount of danger just for being born. We know from the text that Poseidon waited until the last moment he could before claiming Percy, until his powers essentially revealed to the whole camp who he was. That’s how dangerous it was for him to be found out.

I really don’t think Percy should have been raised at camp, that fact that he had a well-meaning, loving mother is one of the biggest things that set him apart from Luke.

I do think she should have sent him to camp earlier than she did but not years earlier like maybe you were suggesting. I also agree that it was an inherently selfish decision to keep him close. She certainly didn’t do him any favors by sending him away to boarding school after boarding school where he was always the new kid, always harassed, and even physically punished by the teachers in one of them (staff of Hermes).

She was in an impossible situation and she made choices purely out of survival not stability or safety cause they had neither. But this way he wouldn’t be outright killed. But Percy is a child and he needs both, so he grows up with low self esteem, neglected, abused emotionally and physically, and without a single friend in the world with how often he changes schools. He can’t talk to his mother either because she’s a little in denial and when Percy asks hard questions she gets emotional, and he feels guilty when he upsets his mom so he stops asking altogether.

(I do believe that she went into the relationship with Gabe with her eyes open and maybe that made it harder for her to admit to herself that she was stuck, that the man she was sure she could face down near damn swallowed her whole, because she chose this, of course in her mind she was still in control but I digress. )

I think as soon as Grover and Chiron were in the picture she should have told him. Instead she told Grover not to do anything. There was a fury at the school, he was found out and attacked, why was he still there for an entire semester after the incident?

We know they didn’t tell her about the fury because we know she didn’t know. Chiron mishandled that big time because it was at that point that it became evident that whatever scent Gabe was hiding wasn’t working. Him following her wishes to the point of keeping Percy at school after an attack from a kindly one without even informing his mother of what happened is actually crazy. Hades found him and sent him a fury to his school. Right under chirons nose. Percy was serving detention with her late into the night sometimes. They should have called Sally and taken Percy to camp together. Instead he was gaslit by everyone to the point of questioning his sanity. Ran away form Grover when they met the fates and Grover still refused to say a word. Didn’t say anything to his mom because why would he at this point, who would even believe him?. Not to mention the very traumatic introduction to the demigod life by watching his mother die right in front of him.

I just think about all the individual choices that Sally, Grover, and Chiron made that led to that night on half blood hill and I think how much it didn’t need to happen.

All three of them failed him.

Sally Jackson choice safety over stability in terms of how she'd take care of her child. Both her and Percy faced years abuse by the hands of one man. Does this make her a good mother who was in over her head or an unprepared one making an impulsive decision?

You found the one hot take even I haven’t dared say aloud yet, because I think it may just be my most unpopular opinion in this fandom. One thing everyone in this fandom seems to agree on is the “universal truth” that Sally Jackson is the best mother in the history of fictional mothers. So, here’s my hot take:

Sally Jackson is not that perfect mother the fandom pretends she is.

Sally during the series? Presented as a loving and good mother. But to get to that point? Pre-series Sally is not written as a good mom; she’s written as a plot-device with the things the author needs to happen in mind and not the motivation of a good mother who prioritizes her child’s happiness and safety in mind.

And I’ll back that claim up with three ways in which Sally has failed Percy as a mother. Not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

But before we get into that, I’d like to switch what you said first. Sally Jackson chose stability over safety. Sally chose the stability of keeping her child at her side over said child’s safety. She made an inherently selfish decision that was not with her child’s best interest and overall safety in mind.

Now, the first - and most obvious one - is Smelly Gabe.

And before I can elaborate on that, I need to clarify one very important thing here, before anyone goes “don’t blame the victim!” on me: Sally Jackson is not a victim; she’s a fictional character. Fictional characters can be written as victims, but they are not autonomous people who make their own choices; their choices are very deliberately made by their author for them. And I want to look at the choices that went into writing her this way, writing her story this way.

Real abuse victims get stuck in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons and they don’t get out of them for equally various reasons. Most of the time, it’s something like “he was so sweet and kind at first, but by the time he showed his real face, it was too late” (and, as a note to that; Percy describes Gabe as having been nice to them for a total of thirty seconds before showing his real face. Now while that is, of course, and exaggeration, it still goes to say that Gabe was pretty much upfront about what kind of person he was).

I’ve never heard one start with “he was the most disgusting, grossest man I could possibly find”. Sally Jackson chose this man. Not just in the way one picks a partner. She went out there and chose the stinkiest, grossest man.

It was a deliberate choice on Riordan’s part to have Sally choose an abusive relationship over sending her son away for his own safety. And this decision did not keep Percy safe; Percy Jackson was abused in his own home, by a horribly stinking man, for six years of his life. That’s not keeping your child safe.

The choice was not made to keep Percy safe; the choice was made to keep Percy with Sally. It was inherently selfishly motivated; she didn’t want to send him away, she wanted to keep him with her.

Sally loves Percy, she loves him dearly and fiercely, I’m not arguing that. But that love led to her not wanting to let go of him. And sometimes, parenting means making tough choices, sometimes loving someone means you have to make a tough decision.

In this case, the “tough decision” is presented as Sally bravely putting up with six years of abuse at Gabe’s hand. That’s the narrative chosen by the author.

But the actual “tough decision” would have been to send Percy to Camp Half-Blood, where he would have been safe. That’s the tough choice a mother would have had to make to keep her child safe.

That’s the tough choice the parents of most of the year-rounders have made. Mister Beauregard sent his daughter all the way from Paris to New York to give her this safety. The distance alone guaranteeing he wouldn’t see her for years potentially - because flying between New York and Paris is not necessarily easily affordable for everyone. Sally’s option was to send Percy to a camp that’s literally one and a half hours away. She could have still seen him, he could have easily visited her.

But her solution was to mask Percy’s scent by marrying a stinking, gross, abusive man.

Let me just stretch once more: Sally’s choice did not keep Percy safe. Sally’s choice made their home unsafe. It brought the danger and pain into their home. It may have moderately protected Percy from monsters - until The Lightning Thief kicked in - but it did not keep Percy actually safe, because it put him into a different kind of danger and through a different kind of pain.

For six years. And, this is where the “not a real person but a fictional character” thing comes up again, because this isn’t a woman where one choice leads to a date with a man which leads to a relationship which leads to abuse that she doesn’t know how to get out of anymore. She is a fictional character whose journey was set out to end with her being in an abusive relationship.

And we also don’t know why she didn’t get out of it. She’s not a real person, we don’t know if she was so scared of Gabe that she didn’t know how to leave, if her lack of a support system is what led to her not leaving him, or if it was the motivation of not giving up Percy. The real, actual reason is that Riordan wanted to keep her in there and keep Percy out of the loop until he was twelve and The Lightning Thief could happen. Because she was able of getting rid of him as soon as the truth unravelled and Percy met camp.

And I’d like to use the way she did that to drive back home just how bad Gabe was, just how bad the situation Sally and Percy were in for six years, really was.

She murders him. She flat-out murders him. Both, her and Percy, together. This twelve-year old child who we meet and get to know as kind and not... not a murder-child, is ready to kill a man. That’s how badly Gabe abused them; both of these kind people chose murder to get rid of him.

And it’s just something I’ve never gotten over. Riordan really made the decision that his protagonist’s mom would rather get them both into an abusive home than give Percy up to camp. That was his decision; there could have been other ways. One thing that would have made this seem less like a deliberate choice would have, for example, been Sally not knowing about camp.

If she was a desperate mother, who saw no other options? That’d have made the situation different too. But we know Sally knew about camp. She knew there was a place she could send her son where he would be safe from the monsters, but she decided against that, she decided that she wanted to keep him close, at any costs - and the cost was six years of abuse.

I do not think that this decision should be framed as a heroic sacrifice, because the fact that she knew of an actually safe solution and decided against it was inherently selfish. She did not put up with six years of abuse for selfless reasons because there was “no other way”; there was, she knew that, but the author didn’t want her to take that.

Sometimes, the sacrifice is letting go of your child. And, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t have let go of him for good - camp is in the same bloody city as she is living. Literally one and a half hours away from her.

Now on to the other two ways in which I think Sally Jackson failed Percy.

For one, the lies about his father. Now, real people who are left by their partner with a baby, they can pick whatever to tell their kids whenever. But, again, this is a fictional character and the author makes the decision for her. And this, again, was a decision made solely based on the end result; Riordan needed Percy to not be in the know by the time The Lightning Thief came around, even though from a character-perspective, telling Percy the truth earlier would have been the logical and right decision.

If your kid is a demigod who is attracting real actual monsters with his scent alone? Percy started really attracting monsters when he was six years old and for the next six years, Sally didn’t disclose the truth to him; not about monsters, not about his father, not about the fact that Percy may have powers.

Percy attracted so many monsters that it led to Sally getting married to Gabe. That’s how badly he attracted monsters. Which also implies that Percy must have seen monsters. We get to see in The Lightning Thief just how much Percy thinks he’s going crazy with the things he sees. And that’s been going on for six years too - six years and in those, his scent only got stronger.

This, again, isn’t just one decision she made. This is a decision she made every single day over and over again. The decision not to tell Percy about his father, the powers, the simple reassurance that he’s not going insane, that monsters are real. This was Percy’s reality and it would obviously only become more and more of an issue the older Percy got, but every single day, she chose not to tell him, to let him believe not just a lie but also steadily that he was going crazy.

And it’d have gone a long way if he had just known. Even with Gabe in their life, even if she hadn’t made the choice to send him to camp at age six, it’d have helped him so much to know the truth and be prepared for this life.

Because this wasn’t just an issue of “the guy left me, I don’t want to talk about it with my kid”, this was inherently about, once more, Percy’s safety. Knowing what to watch out for, knowing the thing you should watch out for is actually real, are huge factors in Percy’s safety. Having him as well-prepared as possible.

She knew his father was Poseidon. It’s not even that she had sex with some dude, not knowing who he was. She knew he was Poseidon. She knew what Percy’s parentage was, she must have observed the slow development of Percy’s powers over the years.

But again, she chose to leave him in the dark about it. He could have been well-prepared by age twelve. Read up everything on Poseidon, experimented with potential powers he may have, understanding why the fishes in the aquarium are talking to him and that he is not actually hearing voices, learning.

But that’s not useful for the author; Riordan wants an unprepared Percy who can be used to introduce this world to the reader.

The choice to not tell Percy the truth about his father and about being a demigod was made deliberately and, again, not in Percy’s best interest. And in this case, there really is no other interpretation left aside from “the author needs it to happen this way” - with Gabe, there is the legitimate argument that she may have been at one point just an abused woman stuck in a relationship with no out because we don’t know enough to know what her motivation and situation were exactly - but there is... no benefit at all in lying to Percy about this, no reason for it.

The moment he first started being in actual life-threatening danger because monsters came after him, it became a pressing matter to tell him what monsters are, that they are real and why they are after him and to prepare him for it.

Which brings me to the third instance.

She never prepared him - even just in a mortal manner. Even if we let the first two - the marriage to Gabe and the lies about his father - stand as they are, Sally could have done something very simple to prepare Percy for his life and to help keeping him safe.

Self-defense classes. Judo. Martial arts. Sword-fighting classes. Whatever.

Many parents teach their kids these kind of things from a young age. Parents whose kids aren’t in constant danger of being attacked by monsters. One of your first parental instincts should be to teach your kid to be safe; to protect themselves. Give him the means to fight back.

So, that’s it. That’s the three very vital and important instances in which I think Sally failed Percy as a mother; not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

Instead of sending him to a safe place where he could learn about his heritage and learn control of his powers as well as learning how to fight the monsters after his life, she chose to marry an abusive, smelly man whose scent would mask Percy’s. Probably. Hopefully. But it didn’t really, not all the time. As shown by The Lightning Thief and monsters coming after Percy. And Percy starts to think he’s crazy, because at no point did she tell him about the monsters, and at no point does he really know how to fight for his life, because at no point did she put the means to defend himself into his hands.

No. No, I do not think that those are the decisions a good mother would make. Those are decisions the author made because he knew the starting point of his story and he knew where Percy’s character needed to be for that.

The thing that’s glossed over are the choices Riordan implicitly made Sally make. To get to this point for Percy, at age 12, he had to make Sally repeatedly act against Percy’s best interests and deliberately not tell Percy the truth or teach him way to stay safe. So he masks those choices by putting on a framework that’s meant to make you only look at her suffering and the outcome, not the choices that led to it. That was Riordan’s choice and he framed it in a way that the fandom ate up and celebrates, when... neither Sally, nor Riordan, had do to that. There was another option on the table and, if Riordan had sat down and thought hard, I’m pretty sure there would have been more options.

The bottom line, what Sally’s parenting comes down to in the end, is that she and Percy got stuck with an abusive man for six years, because she didn’t want to send him to an actual safe place, she spent six years essentially gaslighting Percy about the things he hears/sees by not telling him the monsters are actually real and she repeatedly left him in unnecessary danger by not giving him the means to defend himself in any way whatsoever. And those are not signs of good parenting, not in my book.

But it’s just so much easier to ignore all of that and pretend that blue candy and trips to Montauk are the end all be all and that Sally’s fierce love for her son is the most defining trait of parenting. I know that. Most of the time, I’m right there with you - I love fanon!Sally, I love to pretend she’s the best mom ever and never did anything wrong, because I know the decisions are inherently made by Riordan and are a by-product; I know he wants her to be a good mother, I know throughout the series, he writes her as a good and loving mother.

But if I have to be honest and if I look at the whole text, including the implications of their past, canon!Sally isn’t that good of a mother.

#I also think a part of it is Percy absolutely refusing to blame her for anything cause she’s all he has #and he doesn’t want to unpack some of the damage that she caused #because then he’ll have to come to terms with the fact that his mom made choices that knowingly hurt him regardless of the situation #this could have been a great arc about kids idolizing their parents and coming to terms with the fact that their human too #but ahh that implies that riordan is capable of complex storylines #sally jackson #Percy Jackson #tlt #pjo

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ieetbeez · 2 days ago

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Small Rant About RE

Hello gang... This has been on my mind for awhile. Today we're talking about Resident Evil and particularly Leon stans. Now I'm gonna come out and say I am one of them! I love that silly little blonde man and he's like number 1 on my favorite capcom white boy tier list next to Cody from Final Fight/SF.

tw: mentions of rape, pedophilia, incest, abuse, and my opinion

Let me make it clear, I'm not kink shaming, I'm not advocating for censorship. Art and literature shouldn't be censored. Sex is cool. Kink is cool (when safe and consensual).

I'm gonna be one of those fans real quick and say, I've been an RE fan since I was like 7. That doesn't really mean much since I can't drink legally but I've been in love with Leon since elementary school. I watched my Dad and brother play RE6 co-op and man... Aka I've been in the fandom for a fat minute. Before the RE2 remake came out I'd see the occasional Dead Dove fic but that's whatever. But I have never seen this much dark romance about Leon of all people!

Like. Call it the T-Virus the way it's everywhere I swear I can't scroll down the damn tag without getting hit with a sexual crime. And let me say, I'm not new to fandom culture. I take don't like don't read to heart (I'm super picky LMAO). And I understand that, that's just how big fandoms are, more people, more bad eggs. I'm sure the majority of y'all are sweet people.

BUT I feel like I shouldn't have to say that romanticizing things like pedophilia, rape, abuse, and incest is disgusting in the big year 2025 but here we are. Honestly, I feel this way about a lot of the fics of other fandoms I'm in. I feel crazy seeing it everywhere and it makes me feel like some sort of sexual puritan. Am I insane for wanting freaky smut and not ...freaky smut??

There for sure is a bigger conversation here about how easily accessible porn is and how quick people to fall into these pipelines. Or how booktok caused a rise in the normalization of dark romance troupes and just pure porn writing (I still hate icebreaker). Or how quick form constant content is slowly leaking it's way into everything. But we’d be here for forever…

And like, it's just completely out of character?? Like if you're gonna write about that can it at least be in character? Wesker fits the dark romance thing LEAGUES better. But LEON?? THE POLICE OFFICER?? Did you even watch a walkthrough? Leon is a sweet upstanding guy with lots of trauma, that is the last thing he'd do to ANYONE! Not saying fics have to be completely accurate all the time but there's literally nothing fun about "Omg what if Leon RAPED you!?" HES NOT THE EVIL RESIDENT HERE GUYS! At some point it's not even about Leon (or whoever the fic is about) anymore, it's just someone wanting to share their sexual fantasies online.

These topics are almost never written with any care and are insanely insensitive to the survivors of these acts. I don't know, sexual crimes are literally some of the most deplorable acts of hatred and depravity someone can do onto another person. I can't imagine getting off to the suffering of others (in a heinous crime way not BDSM way) (BDSM is cool). Have some fucking empathy and stop thinking with your goon wad guys <3

Like at least take it to AO3 so that I can filter it out or smth...

Edit: I just woke up and remembered what else I was gonna say.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat their fictional characters. Another thing I don’t like are the Gooner mods for the games. Like they’re fun every once in a while and like if it’s a capcom game you have to expect it. At some point though, it just stops being sexy and feels gross or uncomfortable.

Idk maybe I’m in the minority here but there has never been a single time where I was playing any RE game and thought to myself, “man… I wish I could see Leon’s end rod whipping in the wind rn…” Obviously, I wanna see that man oiled up butt booty naked doing jumping jacks like as most normal people do but… zawg…

That’s also like an actual person?? At least for the remakes. Maybe this just isn’t my dove to eat but the treat Leon like some sort doll. I know it’s kinda weak to be like this for a fictional person but yeah </3

#resident evil 2 remake #resident evil 2 #resident evil #re2 remake #RE #RE2 #re2 leon #re4 remake #re4 leon #re4 #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #FREELEON2025

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marsdql · 3 days ago

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through rose-coloured glasses [P.SH] v.4

synopsis: After falling asleep on Sunghoon’s lap, you wake up to a conversation you were never meant to hear. Hidden in the quiet murmurs of the living room, Sunghoon exposes the truth—you were never more than a convenience, a distraction. The weight of his cold words shatters the illusion you had clung to for so long, leaving you heartbroken and afraid. As you flee the room, Jay follows, offering the warmth and comfort Sunghoon never did. With Jay by your side, you begin to see the truth: love isn’t supposed to hurt like this. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to finally let go.

toxic!sunghoon x (not so)naive!reader x jay | wc: 1.4k | cw: emotional manipulation, gaslighting, toxic relationships, possessiveness, abuse of power in a relationship, self-doubt , insecurity, mild violence (psychological), themes of control and dependency, angst(fluff at the end with jay though..!!!) @lamin143

Want to see other versions of this drabble? Click here!

The living room was unusually quiet for a group of people, the tension hanging in the air thick enough to suffocate. The members were scattered around the room, some lounging on the couches, others standing, but all of them seemed to be quietly talking about something—something you weren’t meant to hear.

You had been curled up on the couch, exhausted from everything going on. You had found solace in the warmth of Sunghoon beside you, his hand resting on your head while you drifted off to sleep in his lap. It was supposed to be peaceful. But everything was about to shatter.

As your mind drifted between sleep and waking, you started to hear snippets of conversation. The murmur of voices caught your attention, and you could just make out what was being said in the living room.

“Is he really still doing that to her?” Jake’s voice was the first to cut through the silence, his tone calm but filled with concern. “She’s been acting so different lately, like she’s not even herself anymore.”

Sunghoon’s voice was next, low and dismissive. “It’s not like she’ll ever understand. I’m just keeping her around because it’s easy. She’s so predictable. I don’t have to try. She believes everything I tell her.”

Your heart sank, the words cutting deeper than anything you’d ever expected to hear. He doesn’t care about me. The realization hit like a ton of bricks, and you could feel the weight of it sinking in.

“You can’t keep treating her like that,” Jay’s voice joined in, firm but careful. “She doesn’t deserve it, Sunghoon. You need to stop leading her on if you’re not serious about her.”

Sunghoon’s response was filled with frustration, a sigh escaping him. “I don’t need to be serious with her. She’s not that important. She’s just a distraction. She doesn’t even realize it.”

Jake’s voice was soft, yet full of empathy. “Man, you’re really pushing it. You know how much she cares for you. You’re playing with her emotions, and it’s not right.”

You stayed as still as you could, hoping they wouldn’t notice you were awake. But your heart was pounding too hard, the sting of Sunghoon’s words still burning in your chest. You wanted to leave, to get as far away from the suffocating air around you, but your body wouldn’t move. You couldn’t move.

The conversation continued, each word they spoke about you echoing in your mind.

Sunghoon scoffed, a cold laugh leaving his lips. “She’s too clingy. I told her I was busy, and she still expects me to drop everything for her. It’s annoying. I don’t need her pulling at me all the time.”

Jay’s voice softened, though there was still a firmness to it. “Sunghoon, she’s not pulling at you. She’s just trying to get the love she thinks you’re giving her. If you really care about her, you wouldn’t treat her this way.”

But Sunghoon wasn’t listening. He was beyond the point of caring.

You couldn’t take it anymore. The betrayal, the hurt, the realization that everything you had believed in was a lie. You quickly stood up from Sunghoon’s lap, not sparing him a glance, and rushed out of the room, unable to hold back the tears. Your feet moved without thinking, and before you knew it, you were in the hallway, trying to catch your breath, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Jay’s voice broke through your panic as he appeared in front of you, his presence a welcome comfort. He didn’t ask, didn’t push you to explain. He just knew you needed space.

You shook your head, tears blurring your vision. “I—I didn’t know he felt that way. He… he doesn’t care about me. He never did.”

Jay didn’t say anything at first, just pulled you into a gentle embrace, offering the kind of comfort that felt like home. He rubbed your back soothingly, whispering soft reassurances. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You’ve always been there for him, and he’s been using you. You deserve better, sweetheart.”

Your shoulders shook with the weight of the words, and Jay held you tighter, grounding you as you tried to calm yourself.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Jay murmured. “But I need you to know something—Sunghoon’s not worth your tears. He’s not worth your heart. Don’t let him define you.”

You tried to pull away, but Jay wouldn’t let you go. He kept you close, his voice unwavering. “Sunghoon’s your past. Let him go. I’m here for you, alright? You’re not alone in this.”

You nodded, not trusting your voice just yet. But Jay wasn’t finished. He gave you one last squeeze before pulling away slightly, looking at you with a mix of concern and determination.

“Stay here for a bit, yeah? Let’s talk this out. You don’t have to go back there right now.”

You weren’t sure where to go or what to do. Everything felt so overwhelming, like the rug had been pulled out from under you, and you were falling, unsure if anyone would catch you. But Jay was here. Jay wasn’t going anywhere.

As you followed him into the living room to sit down, you could hear faint murmurs from Sunghoon and the others in the background, but Jay was standing strong between you and everything that was hurting. He wasn’t going to let you go back to the toxic mess that Sunghoon had created.

When you entered the living room, the atmosphere changed immediately. Sunghoon, who had been oblivious to your exit earlier, looked up, his face twisting in a mixture of annoyance and apathy. “What’s going on?” he asked, his tone cold.

Jay stepped forward, his eyes meeting Sunghoon’s with a firm stare. “Cut it out, Hoon. She’s done. You’re not going to keep playing with her like this anymore. She deserves respect.”

There was a moment of silence. Sunghoon looked like he was about to snap back, but Jay’s stance was unwavering, and something in Sunghoon’s expression faltered. Finally, Sunghoon scoffed, muttering something under his breath, and turned away.

Jay turned back to you, his expression softening. “You don’t need him, sweetheart. Not anymore.”

You nodded slowly, feeling the weight on your chest lighten a little, knowing that Jay was right. This wasn’t love, and it never had been. But there was a future ahead, one where you were strong enough to move forward, even without him.

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iiheartarc · 2 days ago

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MY TAKE ON THE CAITVI DISCOURSE

total wordcount: 1591

I will say that I've briefly commented on their dynamic in the past, but it was worded really badly so I feel like I need to defend my writing skills a little bit as well with this, but that's just a sidenote. 💀

I think what a lot of people are missing when people do criticise CaitVi is that they aren't necessarily hating on the ship, it's what writing choices have done to it.

I'm not even going to even say I'm a CaitVi hater, I'm not (S1 CaitVi my beloved, you deserved better), but I do think the choices that writers made this season heavily effected how audiences portrayed the ship, even including myself.

Idk I hope this insight might give some people more perspective on why CaitVi became so hated in this season, people rlly need to start looking at both sides and not taking criticism as a personal attack. It really could've been avoided too if the writers had added more time or extended the series onto a third season, but that's another issue on its own.

1. Caitlyn hits Vi

I really don't get why people are so quick to defend Caitlyn on this one, especially considering the amount of hate Vi got when she hit Powder. Are both inexcusable? Yes. But I do think that the situation is a little different when it's a fifteen year old child who had just witnessed the death of her entire family and a twenty something year old woman who took out her anger and grief on the woman she loved because she blocked her shot.

I do think that people also do ignore the immense amount of trauma that Caitlyn suffered at the hand of Jinx, but unlike when Vi 'abandoned' Powder, (again, that's a whole other conversation, we know she was not abandoned), Vi was not that direct source of anguish to Caitlyn the way Powder was to Vi. (Pls lmk if you want me to expand further on this)

Again, not excusing Vi hitting Powder, I'm pointing out the differences.

It's then also incredibly tone deaf when Caitlyn hits her on two more occasions with the same gun, the third time being played off as a joke. It really doesn't come off well, especially when Vi had been a victim of police-brutality even before the abuse she faced at the hands of the enforcers in Stillwater.

And then, even after all this, it's never addressed. It's brushed over, like Vi's entire trauma in the show, the most we get is Caitlyn brushing her hand over Vi's abdomen in the cell scene. Again, can be taken as an apology, but I think that for some very specific things (like hitting your romantic partner), verbal apologies do need to be made in order to communicate healthily and somewhat build a healthier relationship.

I don't really want to talk about the abusive implications of this, because I don't think I'm someone who can talk about it with a full understanding because that's something I've fortunately never been through, but the blatant disregard and shunning of abuse survivors when they pull up the red flags raised because of this is disgusting. In real life, or if it had even been someone else in the show, if the ship had been a heterosexual relationship, people would call Caitlyn an abuser and would be outraged that Vi had been paired with her in the end. But I digress.

1. The cell sex scene

Initially I hadn't been too bothered about this when I had first watched the episode, but when you really think about it, it shouldn't have happened. Hell, they could've had sex in Caitlyn's office and half of the criticism wouldn't have happened, the ship wouldn't be so hated and the fandom wouldn't be half as divided as it is now (from what I've seen).

First and foremost, the cell.

All I can say is wtf. It was such a poor choice it's actually unfathomable to me now. I don't know why the writers thought that it'd be a good idea for Caitlyn and Vi to have their first time in a jail cell, not only the one Jinx had been locked in, but the one Vi had herself been locked in for what we can assume to be hours. The place of her abuse should not be somewhere where the writers could possibly think would be a suitable for a victim to have such an intimate moment with her partner.

Then there's the fact that Vi had looked to have had some sort of breakdown, we see she's sh and there are literal crates in the wall from where she punched it as well as her knuckles bleeding. As soon as she sees Caitlyn, there's a parallel to when they first met, to when Vi is quite literally caged. She's clearly not in the right state of mind, and so when the scene eventually happens it inevitably comes off as wrong because Vi is incredibly emotionally vulnerable in that moment.

"But Vi initiated it!" That still doesn't make it okay. I do think that this also came with an issue of timing, but then again, as I mentioned earlier, it literally could've been in the office as they argued and it would've been recieved so much better then the cell scene was. Vi wasn't breaking down, she wasn't locked in a reminder of the abuse she faced and her sister hadn't just ran off to do goodness knows what (in Vi's POV, us as the audience know exactly what she's about to do). They could've even have it fade to black and cut to the next scene tangled in bed doing whatever they would've been doing in the cell, Vi would assumably have had time to calm down, would be having sex in a warm and safe environment, and guess what? The audience would've been even happier.

Sure there would've been criticism, but Vi could literally save a thousand babies and adopt them all and still face hate, because a lot of the hate is being directed to Vi too because of the situation with Jinx. That, again, is a whole other situation.

3. "Dirt Under Your Nails"

Again, for the love of god, there can be so many takeaways from this sentence but do not be surprised that people didn't like it. I didn't, it made me cringe horribly.

And before people throw 'media literacy is dead', this whole post (practically essay), is analysing a piece of media that I love. To be literate, you can draw different interpretations and conclusions and that's exactly what I'm doing. It's like saying literacy is dead if two people were to disagree on what the meaning of Macbeth's quote 'I am in blood' meant.

I digress.

I think the main issue here is the class difference between Vi and Cait. Caitlyn is from the aristocracy, a direct heir to a position of power in Piltover, while Vi is lower class, effected indefinitely by growing up in poverty. Even though she grew up as Vander's kid, they were still 'scraping for scraps'. The wealth margin between the two is almost immeasurable, and with the difference in money comes a difference in experiences, as we - the audiences - know.

It especially comes off wrong considering the class tensions and political themes heavily focussed on within the first season. The conflict between Piltover and Zaun, the abuse of power and exploitation of Zaunites by both topside and the chembarons, the prevalence of police brutality on the streets of the Undercity. Again, Vi is someone who is directly effected by this, while Caitlyn came into this blissfully naïve. She did learn yes, and in s1 she was so determined to help, but when then this progress reverts into her calling zaunites 'animals' and using the grey as a weapon, it again makes Vi's words feel uncomfortable.

Again, I think this was a massive timing issue, I would've love to see Caitlyn succumb fully to a villain arc. It would've been so interesting to delve into.

I think Vi has always had the image of herself that she'll always be viewed as less by Piltover, that she herself views herself as less. She says it herself to Vander in s1 ep2 while they're on the bridge, "I grew up knowing I'm less than them." So when she then says as her final words in the show, "I'm the dirt under your nails" obviously, that's going to come across as tacky.

People are free to think of romantic connotations for this, I won't stop you, but when you think about how the show was so focussed on class tensions, police brutality, oppression and exploitation, it doesn't come off right. Idk, that's what got me so interested with the show in the first place, the way these themes were explored so deeply but subtly in a way that didn't feel forced, so Vi's words really rubbed me the wrong way.

Conclusion

So I hope everyone that read somewhat gets where I'm coming from, this was my attempt to try and explain what I think needed to be, badly. Again, you can like the ship, I'm not saying I don't, but it also needs to be acknowledged that there is so many things that could've been worked on properly, done properly or addressed properly, and ignoring criticism won't help these issues to be fixed in the future.

Feel free to ask any questions and thanks for reading this long ass rant :)

#vi arcane #arcane vi #arcane s2 #arcane netflix #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane #this is not anti caitvi #caitvi #I miss s1 caitvi chat ☹️☹️#bring back the scene from s1 ep 8 #where was that caitvi in s2 😔😔#this was so long omfg #if only i was this passionate about my assignments #let alone my epq 💀💀#sixth form is kicking my assss 😝 (send help)

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samanthacastano02 · 3 days ago

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Felix - Perfect

Felix x FemReader

Trigger warnings: Abuse (Physical and verbal abuse from Hyunjin), fighting, tooth-rotting fluff, inaccurate medical terminology, Felix being a sweetheart and most supportive person ever, starts off as Hyunjin x FemReader ends as Felix x FemReader, mentions of break up, insecurity, probably more (This is fictional and not how I believe Hyunjin or any of the members would ever act towards someone they love)

Word Count: 10.1K

Summary: You had been dating Hyunjin for almost two years when he had asked you to join him at an event for Versace. You were excited to join him but also nervous because this would be the first time that you would be going to an event like this. You get into a fight, a fight that opens your eyes about your relationship with Hyunjin, so you leave. You call Felix for help and he becomes your rock and safe place during everything.

Photos are not mine, Credits go to photographers

I had been dating Hyunjin for close to two years, he was my first serious relationship and I didn’t know how I was supposed to be treated. I thought that the way he was treating me was the way someone who loved you treated you, not realizing that wasn’t the case.

Present:

I loved Hyunjin with everything that I had, and when he said that he was finally ready to announce our relationship to the public I was over the moon because it had been a year and a half of secret dates, secret outings and hiding it from everyone including his other members. I didn’t think much of it because he was an idol and maybe he wanted to keep this part of his life separate for some time so that it was his rather than something that he had to share with everyone. I didn’t enjoy having to sneak around but I did it for him because I loved him and I didn’t want to ruin my chances with him just because of the fact that he wanted to keep the relationship secret. When the boys finally met me, they welcomed me with open arms and treated me as if I had been friends with them the entire time. The only person who seemed to be a little standoffish and hesitant to be friends was Felix, he was always nice and held conversations when required but he always seemed to isolate himself when Hyunjin and I were hanging out with the boys together. I could never pinpoint why he acted this way, but also didn’t question it because Hyunjin never liked it when I spent one on one time with any of the boys, even Chan who saw me as an annoying younger sister.

It was a few weeks before Hyunjin had to go to Milan’s fashion week, as Versace’s ambassador. I knew that he was excited to go because it was all that he could talk about, and the preparations for it had been taking up most of his time, leaving me to busy myself with work and different things around the apartment that we shared. I was beyond proud of him because he had worked so hard for this and he deserved to have this moment. I didn’t want to bring him down by mentioning the fact that I missed him. When he came home late, I didn’t question him, when he came home smelling of different perfume I didn’t question him because I assumed that it had something to do with the fashion week and if he wanted me to know he would tell me. It was a little before midnight when he finally came home tonight, looking worn out and ready to take a very long nap.

“Hi lovie, how were your meetings? Everything almost ready for Milan Fashion Week?” I ask, as I follow him into the bedroom, crawling into bed while I wait for him to change and go through his skin care routine.

“They were good, longer than I thought they would be. I also managed to secure another ticket and want you to be my plus one.” he says finally coming back into the bedroom.

“You want me to come with? Are you sure?” “Of course, I want to share this part of my life with you.” He says, if I wasn’t as tired as I was I would have noticed the hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I’d love to join you, but I don’t have anything that I could wear.” “Love, I have an appointment set for you to get a dress from the Versace store here in town.” “Hyunjinnie, that’s so expensive though.”

“If you are going with me, you need to represent Versace along with me” He grumbles out, sliding further down into the bed.

“I can’t even afford something small from there, let alone a dress. Jinnie, I don’t want you to spend that much money on me.” “If it’s that big of a deal I’m sure we can get it as a loaner dress and when we get back from the event we can bring it back to the store. Now can we please go to bed, it’s been a long day and I’m tired.”

“Right, of course. Sleep well Jinnie.” I lean over, gently kissing his cheek.

It was only a few days later that I was walking into the Versace store and feeling very much out of my element. I wasn’t used to this high end of a store, so trying to figure out where I needed to go and what all I needed in order to get the dress. Thankfully the attendants were super sweet and understanding about the fact that this was the first event I was ever going to of this caliber and gave me tips to help not be as nervous. With the dress finally picked out, they assured me that it would be sent to Milan and be waiting for me in the hotel room when I got there, I didn’t have to worry about it at all. I was extremely thankful for that, it was one less thing that I needed to worry about.

With Milan Fashion Week quickly approaching, Hyunjin seemed to be around the house even less than he was before. I didn’t want to think too much of it but it was hard when I barely received a text from him letting me know if he was even going to be home that night or if he was going to be spending it at the dorms with Changbin. My only saving grace was being able to talk to Han. Han had become a close friend of mine even though Hyunjin didn’t know. There was nothing going on between us, and there never would, but Han could tell when I was anxious and knew that I needed someone on my side that wasn’t Hyunjin. Because as he put it, Hyunjin hadn’t been doing very good at his boyfriend duties and was being neglectful of how I was feeling and of my anxiety. We had bonded over the fact that we both deal with anxiety and don’t always want to tell someone else in the fear of becoming a burden to them. I had received a text from Hyunjin early today that he wouldn’t be home tonight, he would be staying with Changbin since they all had an early morning. I tried to not be upset about it but I still couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I knew that if I didn’t talk to someone I would send myself into a panic, so I did the only thing I could think of and called Han, hoping that he would come over and keep me company. When I called, he picked up on the second ring, a cute habit of his.

“Hannie, Jinnie is staying with Changbin tonight and I really don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m too much in my head, can you please come over?” I almost begged the poor man.

“Y/nnie, calm down please. Of course I’ll come over, how could I ever turn down a hangout session with my favorite person?”

“Han, my dear dear friend. We both know that I am not your favorite person, Minho is your favorite person.” “Ok, correction. Second favorite person, because yeah, if we’re honest he’s my favorite.”

“Glad to see where I stand in your life Hannie.” “Girl, do you want me to come over or not?”

“Yes! Please!” “I’ll be over soon then, will you make up the spare room for me? We both know that I won’t have the energy to go home and we also know that Minho Hyung won’t be coming to get me.” “Yes, I’ll make up the spare room for you.”

He doesn’t even say goodbye, just hangs up the phone. I know that he lives close by, all of the boys do, which confused me on why Hyunjin wouldn’t take the extra five or so minutes to come back to the apartment. But I won’t question him on it because all that’ll do is lead to a fight. The movie night with Han was something that was very much needed, and when he had to leave the next morning the apartment felt so much more lifeless. I knew that if Hyunjin knew Han was here, he’d be upset but I also didn’t want to be alone so I risked him being upset.

Later that night:

When Hyunjin came home that night from practice, I could tell that he was agitated. He barely spoke to me and when he did his answers were short and snappy, I didn’t want to pry but I also wanted to help him if I was able to. It was too late when I realized that I had forgotten to make up the bed after washing the sheets, after Han spent the night. I knew that the moment Hyunjin saw that, he would ask questions and there was no way that I would be able to give him a reasonable explanation without revealing the full truth to him.

“Hey, y/n. Why are the sheets not on the bed in the guest bedroom?” Hyunjin called out to me from the hallway while I was in the kitchen making dinner for the two of us.

“Huh? Oh I was washing them, they were dusty.” “Y/n, you know not to lie to me. Now tell me why you are actually washing them.” “Fine. Han was over last night, by the time our movie ended it was too late for him to drive home and we weren’t about to wake the beast who is Minho.”

“You know I don’t like when you spend time with them one on one.” He angrily stomps over to me, I expect him to just corner me but instead he grabs me by my pony tail, pulling me away from the stove where I was cooking.

“Ahh, Hyunjin. That hurts. Stop.” I try to pry his hand out of my hair but it doesn’t work.

“You went against what I asked. You know I don’t like you being alone with the guys, I don’t want them getting too close.” He gets in my face, pulling my head back so that I am forced to look at him.

“I-I’m sorry Hyunjin, it won't happen again.” “It better not, or the next time I won’t go easy on you.” He growls out, shoving my head away, causing me to fall into the stove. I try to catch myself but end up grabbing onto the hot pan, burning my hand. The contents in the pan fling out and land all over me, burning my skin through my clothes.

“O-oh god. Y/n I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, are you ok?” Hyunjin’s whole personality changes when he notices what had just occurred.

“I-I’m ok. I-I just need to get myself cleaned up and check the burns and make sure that I don’t need to go to the hospital.” I respond after taking a couple deep breaths.

“Y-you think that you might need to go to the hospital?”

“For my hand possibly.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Jinnie, I just need to have a few minutes to myself.” “I’m really sorry Jagi.” He tries to hug me, but I shrink back from him, I can see the regret in his eyes.

I’m unable to respond, instead holding my hand to my chest as I walk into our bedroom. When I look at my hand I can tell that I have second degree burns and will need to go to the ER. I don’t have a car and I don’t want to ask Hyunjin. I know he feels bad, but I don’t want him to go to the ER with me because it means that they might ask questions and I can’t answer those right now. The only person I can think of to call right now to come and get me is Chan, I know he’ll ask questions but not until everything is figured out. I just need to figure out how to tell Hyunjin that I want to go by myself. I think the best way is to just straight up say that I want to go alone, and that I will let him know when I am coming home. I call Chan knowing that he’ll help, he picks up after the first ring. Only issue was that it wasn’t Chan who answered, it was Felix.

“Y/n? Chan left his phone here, he ran to the store. Do you need something?” “I um, never mind.” I was going to tell him but decided not to.

“I know that I’m not Chan and we don’t normally talk but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” “I was just hoping that he could take me to the hospital.”

“The hospital! Are you ok?”

“I burnt my hand while cooking, and it’s bad enough that I need medical attention.” “I don’t know when he’ll be back, but I can come get you and take you. Why can’t Hyunjin take you though?” “He’s wiped from practice, and I don’t want to make things worse for him. It’s ok Felix, I’ll figure out a way to get to the hospital.” “Nonsense, I’ll come get you. No questions asked.”

Thankfully, I am able to convince Hyunjin to let me go by myself. I tell him a white lie and tell him that it’s Chan picking me up, not Felix. I know if he knew that it was Felix, he would never let me leave. Felix must have known better than to come up to the door, instead texting that he was here and letting me come down to the car. When I get to the hospital, he waits in the car, not wanting to cause even more trouble for me. I can see the concern in his eyes when I walk out of the ER and he sees the bandage on my hand, thankfully the doctor seemed to buy my excuse that I fell and burnt my hand that way. The doctor let me know that the bandages could come off before the fashion show, so the dress that I got would still work. I know Felix is worried but he doesn’t press the issue, but I know that whatever friendship or whatever we had has changed between us.

Fashion Week:

The week before Hyunjin and I left for Milan, my bandages were able to come off. I knew that he felt bad, he had never gotten physical with me before and the logical part of me knew that I should have left him but the emotional part of me said that he’d never do it again. Ever since he’s been super sweet and caring, spending every night at the apartment with me, being at my every beck and call.

The first night that we were in Milan, he took me out to dinner and treated me as if I was his whole world. He apologized every morning and night for what happened, I believe that he’s sorry and I believe that he won't do it again. He loves me and I love him, I know that we’ll be able to make things work, I know he won’t let it happen again.

The night that we have the event, I am afraid that I’ll embarrass him because I won’t look as good as I should for him. I tried to make sure that my outfit matched his outfit, but it still seemed off. He seemed to be off the entire day while we were getting ready, he seemed short with me, almost annoyed that I was having to go with him. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to take me with him, I didn’t want to embarrass him or make this event even harder for him. Before I knew it, we were having to finish getting ready and leave soon.

“Jinnie, do you think my dress looks ok? Does it match your outfit well enough?” I ask as I apply the finishing touches to my makeup.

“Yes, you look fine. We need to go if we don’t want to show up late.” He grumbled annoyed.

“I’m almost ready, I just need to apply lipstick and then I’ll be ready.” “Just hurry up.”

“Ok, I’m ready lovie.”

“Ew, don’t call me that.” he side eyes me, seemingly disgusted.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry. In the past you never cared.” “Just, try not to talk too much tonight.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead I just rushed to catch up with him and head to the venue where the show would be held and then the after party. Much to my horror when Hyunjin and I arrived at the venue, I was ushered away from him, told that I would be sitting separately from him and that I would have to find him after the show. When he invited me I thought that we would be seated together for all of the events but I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I looked to him for support, to ask him if I really had to sit alone without him, the glare that he leveled me with was one that I could never have imagined I would get from him.

“Y/n, just sit where they tell you, stop trying to make a big deal out of nothing.” “Hyunjin, it’s a big deal to me. I’m in a country that I don’t know, at an event filled with people that I don’t know. I was under the assumption that I would be with you tonight, not sat away from you.”

“Stop it, stop whining about not getting to sit with me. You’re a big girl, put on your big girl pants and deal with sitting alone. Do not embarrass me tonight, I need tonight to go well.” “I’m not trying to embarrass you Hyunjin, but would it be so hard to ask them if we could get seats together? I don’t see why we can’t?” “Stop asking, they already have the seating arrangements set. I will see you at the after party, in the meantime try not to embarrass me.”

“Hyunjin-” I begin but he cuts me off with a glare, one that sends a cold chill down my spine. It reminds me of that night, for once I know to listen to my gut.

With him being sat away from me, I know that he’ll be more focused on the show rather than worrying about me. With how he looked at me tonight, I know that I need to leave because it wasn’t a one time incident and him hurting me was bound to happen again. I found my seat, in the back of the open showroom, which thankfully gave me the opportunity to order myself an uber and get myself back to the hotel. I didn’t know where I was going to go when I got back to Soule because technically the apartment that I lived in wasn’t mine, it was one rented by Hyunjin that he had gotten for the both of us because he wanted us to live together. I knew that I shouldn’t have given up my apartment but I was so in love with him that I thought he was my forever and that I wouldn’t need it anymore.

When my uber arrived, I quickly and quietly snuck out of the venue and as soon as it was clear I ran to the uber. The uber driver gives me a questioning look but I don’t offer up any explanation and instead book a plane ticket home, I want to be gone to the airport by the time Hyunjin comes back to the hotel. I’d prefer to be on a plane back but I also know that isn’t reasonable and is wishful thinking. I know that me leaving the event like I did can cause a scandal for Hyunjin but I can’t stay and let this relationship get even more toxic, it took me this long to realize the only reason he was even being this sweet to me after the whole incident was so that I would come with him when it came time to go to the event. He had said that he was going to have a date and he didn’t want to seem dateless when the time came around.

I panicked when I got to the hotel, packing up everything that I had brought with me and bought the earliest ticket home. Not caring which airline it was with, what section of the plane it was in and what time I would be getting back, I just knew that I needed to be gone before he got back otherwise I could actually be in serious danger. I didn’t want to worry Chan by off-loading all of my issues onto him, but I also had nowhere to stay. I didn’t know what to do, I had never been in this situation before. I did the only thing that I could think of, I called Felix, surprisingly he picked up after the first ring.

“Y/n? Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not. I’m flying back to Soule tonight but I need someone to pick me up from the airport. And then for that someone to help me find a hotel.” “Aren’t you supposed to be in Milan with Hyunjin for another week?” “It’s a lot to explain, I promise I can explain it all later but will you please pick me up?”

“Yeah of course, that shouldn’t have even been a question. I know we don’t talk much but I’ll always be here for you if you need me.” “Thank you Felix, you are a lifesaver right now. Now I just need to figure out a living situation.” “Don’t worry about that, you can stay with Seungmin and I or with Chan and I.N.” “Are you sure? I really don’t want to impose on anyone and I don’t want to cause any problems between the group and Hyunjin.”

“We all know how to be professional, whatever happened between you and Hyunjin is between the two of you. If you want us to know, then we will but if you don’t then we won't.” “Thank you, for being so understanding about all of this.”

“Of course, text me your flight details and I’ll be there to pick you up, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix.”

With everything set, I know that Felix and the rest of the boys will help me in any way that they can, I really don’t want to come between them and Hyunjin but I can’t help it if they decide to do this on their own. I don’t even want to think about what will happen when Hyunjin realizes that I’m no longer at the event, hell even in the country.

The next morning:

The flight back to Soule gave me the chance to think through things and figure out what I needed to do. I didn’t want to take advantage of the boys but I also couldn’t afford to stay at a hotel for very long, and finding a new place to live would be difficult, especially with the fact that I don’t make that much at my current job. I always wanted to find another job but Hyunjin never wanted me to because I only worked with women. The more I look back on our relationship, the more I realize that it was actually extremely unhealthy and the only reason that he even introduced me to the guys is because Chan accidentally caught us on a date, and when he had asked who I was I had answered before Hyunjin could. Hyunjin never had the intention of telling the guys about our relationship, his hand was forced in the whole matter.

When I finally landed I called Felix, figuring out where he was in the airport but before I could even ask, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around he was there. He was there, with a soft smile, looking like the sunshine person that everyone always describes him as. I didn’t think I would feel as much relief as I did when I saw him, but I could feel the tears forming and I didn’t know if I would be able to stop them before they fell. Felix didn’t give me the chance to, he gently pulled me into a hug. I didn’t know how badly I needed that hug until I was wrapping my arms around his waist, sobbing quietly into his chest. He tightened his arms around me, not letting go until he felt my arms drop from around him.

“Are you ready to head out?” Felix asks, taking my backpack from me.

“Yes, but I need to go to the apartment. I need to get my stuff out, I don’t want to risk trying to get it at a later date and then he be there.”

“Ok, I’ll take you. I’ll help you pack up your stuff, will you tell me what happened? Why you left Milan so suddenly?”

“Y-yes, I’ll tell you in the car. If that’s ok?”

“Of course that’s ok.”

We head to baggage claim and grab my suitcase, I try to take it from Felix after he had pulled it off for me but he doesn’t let me. He doesn’t let me carry my backpack and he won’t let me drag my suitcase, he kindly forces me to walk next to him. When Hyunjin and I came, he had people who were carrying his stuff, he didn’t even offer to carry my stuff. The more I look at Felix, the more I focus on him, the more I notice these little differences between the two men. A guilty part of me wonders why I couldn’t have met Felix first. When I had first met Hyunjin, he was so sweet and caring, we had shared an art class together and had bonded over the fact that we both loved art. The first year of our relationship was perfect, but after we had moved in together and he realized that I more than likely wouldn’t go anywhere, his whole demeanor and personality changed. No longer was he the sweet and caring guy, but an angry and anxious man who ended up taking those feelings out on me more often than not. No matter how hard I tried to be good for him, he always found a reason to be upset with me. It wasn’t until the cooking incident that he had gotten physical with me, but he was very verbally abusive towards me and would be passive aggressive towards me like he was last night. When we got to the car, I went to open my own door but before I could Felix was there, pulling it open for me, giving me a hand in case I needed help lowering myself into his car. Once I was in, he quickly rushed around to the other side, getting in himself and before I knew it, we were starting the drive back to the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin.

“Are you ok, to tell me what happened? Why you came back so soon?” “Yes, just promise that you’ll wait until I finish explaining?”

“Of course, take your time.”

“Thank you, seriously.” “Any time y/n, any time.” “It wasn’t a cooking incident.”

“What wasn’t?”

“How I burned my hand, I didn’t burn it because I slipped. I did burn it while cooking but slipping was not the reason why.”

“Ok?”

“Hyunjin had come home angry that night, I don’t remember why exactly. I don’t remember if something had gone wrong at the studio or if I had said something but we started arguing, and I expected him to corner me like he normally did. But he grabbed my hair, yanking it back. He was super angry and it scared me, I tried to pry him off but he wouldn’t let go. Finally he got tired of arguing and he shoved me, but it happened to be in the direction of the stove. I tried to catch myself but I ended up grabbing the pan I had been using and it tipped over, spilling on me. That’s why I had such a bad burn on my hand, and burns on other parts of my body.” When I finished with that part, I could tell that Felix was angry but he did his best to contain the anger.

“Y/n, is this the first time that he was physical with you?” “Yes, it was. He had been verbally abusive for the better part of six months but I had rose colored glasses on.”

“Did he hurt you again? Is that why you came back early?”

“Not physically, he failed to mention that during the fashion show I wouldn’t be seated with him. And when I had asked if we could try to get me to sit next to him, he told me that I was being difficult and that I was embarrassing him. He told me to sit where I was told to and that he would see me at the after party.” “He seriously did that? Just left you to sit by yourself?”

“Yep, said that I was a big girl and could handle sitting by myself for the length of the show. When I tried to argue with him about it, he leveled me with a glare that actually scared me, made me nervous to even wait to see him during the after party.” “I don’t want to speak badly of him but it seems like you made the right choice in leaving, after what you told me, the whole situation seems like a bad situation.” “I think things could have gone very differently if I stayed, he knows by now that I’m gone. I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t get any texts from him after the show asking where I was. But maybe he was too preoccupied to even worry about where I was.” “Y/n, that is wrong on so many levels. If my date wasn’t sat with me at an event and then I couldn’t find her after, I would be losing my mind until I found her. Has he even texted you, asking where you are when he saw that you weren’t at the hotel and that your stuff was gone?” “Umm, I think he’s texted me like once.” “What did the text say, if you don’t mind me asking?” “Just wondering where I was, when I was coming back. It’s like he didn’t even realize that my stuff was gone.” “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this y/n, you don’t deserve it.” “It’s ok Felix, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.” “But I actually do. I was the one who pushed him to go to that art class, I was the one who pushed him to ask you out when he was too nervous to do so.” “Lixie, you had no way of knowing that any of this would have happened.” It’s not until he doesn’t respond that I realize what I had just called him. “Oh my god, Felix. I am so sorry. The nickname just kind of slipped out.” “Y/n, it’s ok. It just caught me off guard, I don’t mind if you call me that. Coming from you, I actually kind of like it.” “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The rest of the drive to the apartment is silent, both of us thinking but also just enjoying the music. As I look out the window, I can’t help but think about how different my life is from what I thought it was going to be just a few days ago. As I think about it, this is the first time in a long time that I’m not nervous about going back to the apartment. The realization that it’s because Hyunjin won’t be there hits me, I didn’t realize how much he scared me until I took that leap to end things with him, to leave him. The thought also hits me that I haven’t actually officially ended my relationship with him, I’m technically still his girlfriend until I officially end things. Just because I ran doesn’t mean he’ll take that as I’m breaking up with him. I can’t do it in person, I won’t be able to handle it, I’m too nervous about what he might try if I did do it in person.

I’m too into my head to realize that we had arrived at the apartment until Felix is calling out my name, trying to get my attention. I don’t know what to think of all of this, and I think that Felix is able to tell that. He doesn’t try to rush me into going inside, instead he just sits there, a supportive spirit until I’m ready to go inside.

“Ok, I think that I’m ready.” “Take your time.” “Thank you Felix, I truly do not know what I would have done without your help.” “I want to warn you, Seungmin and Chan are on their way to help. They don’t know why, they won’t know why unless you tell them.”

“Felix…”

“I just wanted to make sure that we are able to get all of your stuff. The more hands the better. When I called, I told them to help, no questions asked. What information they get is up to you.” “You promise they won’t ask any questions?” “I promise, and if they for some reason do. Send them to me.”

“Ok.”

We both get out of the car, I try to open my own door again but he rushes around opening it before I get the chance. He has a steady hand on my lower back, walking with me up to the apartment. When we get up to the apartment, I hesitate almost as if I’m not ready to take this step, ready to say goodbye to this part of my life.

“We don’t have to do this tonight if you aren’t ready.”

“No, no. I need to do this, I can’t risk Hyunjin being home.”

“Do you want me to open the door?” “Do you mind?” “Not at all.”

He takes the key from my hand, unlocking the door and pushing it open. I never realized how lifeless and cold the apartment always felt. There were no personal touches from myself in the living room, Hyunjin always insisted that his interior decor taste was better than mine and that I could decorate the bedroom. That didn’t leave me much to do anyways, I think now it had more to do with when the guys initially came over, he didn’t want them to realize he had a girlfriend. Most of my belongings were in the bedroom anyways, everything else I owned from my old apartment was in a storage unit that Hyunjin didn’t know about, he thought that I had sold whatever couldn’t fit into the bedroom on my side.

Soon Chan and Seungmin arrive, ready to help in whatever way they could. They didn’t ask any questions, which I was extremely thankful for. I really didn’t want to have to tell the whole story twice, I knew they had their questions but I didn’t know how to tell them. I knew that if I gave Felix the ok, he would tell them.

“Felix, come here real quick. Please?” “Yeah. What’s up?” He stops folding some of the shirts I had left hung up in the closet.

“I know that Chan and Seungmin have questions. I can’t go through the story again, but if they are helping they deserve to know why. You can tell them.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.”

“Alright, I’ll let them know.”

He walks away after giving me a soft smile, I go back into the bedroom and continue to put my clothes into my suitcases. I can hear Felix explaining the whole situation to them, they don’t ask any questions until he is finished explaining everything. I try to zone out what they are saying, not wanting to think about everything that has happened, again. I’m so in my head that I don’t hear anyone enter the bedroom, so when I feel arms wrap around me I jump in both parts shock and fear. When I turn around I see that it’s Chan, he has a sad look on his face and seeing that look makes me break out into tears. He wraps me in his arms, and with his support I know that with whatever happens I’ll be ok. I know that I not only have Felix on my side but I also have Chan, and maybe Seungmin but he hasn’t actually said anything. Before I can ask where Seungmin is, I hear a small knock on my door, when Chan and I turn we both see that Seungmin is standing there looking sheepish. I wave him over, he slowly walks over. I can tell that he’s hesitant to do anything so I make the decision for him and give him a quick hug, he eagerly returns the hug.

Back at Felix and Seungmin’s Dorm:

With the help of the three boys, we were able to pack up everything that I could think of that I owned that was in that apartment. I didn’t know why they brought me here after I insisted that they take me to a hotel. Felix refused, saying that they weren’t going to let me stay at a hotel. They would rather I stay at the dorms with them where they knew I was safe and wouldn’t have to worry about me confronting Hyunjin alone should he come looking for me.

I had no idea where I would be sleeping while I stayed with them, since there were only two rooms, meaning there were only two beds. When I got there, trying to figure out where to put my stuff went surprisingly better than I thought because Felix just carried it all into his room, taking away the question of where I would sleep. I didn’t want to kick him out of his own bed but he insisted that I take his bed, he’d either take the couch or find a blow up mattress of sorts.

“Felix, I really don’t want to kick you out of your bed.” “Nonsense, you wouldn’t be kicking me out. Especially since I offered.” “Felix, I can just sleep on the couch. It’s fine.” “Nonsense. You are not sleeping on the couch.”

Seungmin walks into the room carrying a sleeping mattress for Felix. He doesn’t say anything as he hands it over, I can tell that he’s tired and ready to go to bed himself. Felix bids Seungmin goodnight before turning back towards me. I can tell that Felix is also tired but he wants to make sure that I am comfortable before going to bed himself.

“Felix, I know you have the mattress. But where will you be sleeping?” “I was just planning on sleeping in the living room.” “I can’t kick you out of your bed and your room. And if I’m being honest I’d be more comfortable with you in the room. I don’t think that Hyunjin will be back anytime soon but a part of me is scared that he will be and I don’t want to be trapped in a room by myself.” “Y/n, you don’t owe an explanation. Of course I can stay in here on the floor. I want you to be as comfortable as possible while you are staying here, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix. I know that this is a lot to ask of you.” “It’s never too much to ask of me, I’d gladly help you.”

I can’t think of anything to say to him so I just walk up to him, instead giving him a hug. He immediately hugs me back, wrapping his arms tightly around me and pushing my head into him, trying his best to bring me comfort. Whenever I was upset, Hyunjin always made it seem like it was a burden to comfort me, to be there for me but here’s Felix, someone who barely knows me, who’s doing everything he can to make sure that I am comforted and supported even when he doesn’t need to.

Two Weeks Later:

I had been living with Felix and Seungmin now for two weeks. Hyunjin was supposed to be coming back within the next few days. I was scared that he was going to be angry, but I had barely heard anything from him while he was away and if I’m being honest that scared me even more. I didn’t know what he was thinking, how he was feeling, or if he would try anything when he saw that all of my things were out of the apartment.

I was trying to take a nap, when I realized that I had left one very important thing at the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin. It was small and might seem insignificant to others but to me it was irreplaceable because it was given to me by a family member that was no longer living. I knew that I needed to get it but all of the boys were busy and I didn’t want to bother them. I didn’t think that Hyunjin would be back until tomorrow or the next day at least.

When I got there, I could tell that I was wrong, Hyunjin had come home early. I knew that I should have turned around and waited until either Seugnmin, Chan or Felix were available to come with me to get the stuffed animal but I was impatient and didn’t want to wait. I slowly pushed open the front door, finding Hyunjin bent over the kitchen counter reading the breakup note that I had left for him. I could tell by the way that his posture stiffened that he realized what it was and what had happened. When he heard the front door close softly he whipped around, the glare and anger in his eyes made my heart drop. I tried to turn around and leave but before I could, he was grabbing me by the hair and dragging me further into the apartment.

Hyunjin angrily threw me onto the couch, I tried to catch myself but wasn’t able to and ended up falling onto the floor. I tried to scramble away from him but he was on top of me before I could, his hands around my neck choking me.

“Hyunjin, stop. I can’t breathe.” I gasped the best I could with his hands on my neck.

“You think that you get to embarrass me by leaving with no explanation, and then break up with me?”

“Hyunjin, you're hurting me.” “Shut up, just shut up. You don’t get to decide when we are done, only I get to decide.” I try to fight against him but he still has the upper hand on me.

“Hyune. You are hurting me, I can’t breathe.” “Do you really think that I care about that right now?” “I-I’m sorry. I’ll come back, I’ll move back. Just please stop.” I whisper out, struggling. Tears fall from my eyes now, black dots crowd the corners of my vision.

“No, no you don’t get to come back on your word. I never want to see you again. Do I make myself clear, if I see you again I can’t guarantee that I won’t end your life. You useless whore.” He spits at me, spitting in my face in the process.

He pulls his hands away from my neck, getting off of me. As soon as he’s off of me, I scramble away from him, scared that if I don’t he will go back on his word and try to kill me again. It’s almost like a light switched in him when he notices that I already have bruises forming on my neck. He tries to get closer to me but I scramble back even further from him. I can see the remorse and guilt in his eyes, I can tell that he wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say. He looks disgusted in himself, by what he just did.

“Oh god. Oh god, what did I do?” He almost seems to ask himself.

“Y-you need help.” I cough out “Y-you’re right I do. Y/n, I am begging you, please call the cops. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you again. God I nearly killed you just now.” I don’t question him and rush for my phone, calling the police.

When everything is done, the police ask if I want to press charges against Hyunjin but I don’t. I know that he’s sick, he wouldn’t have had me call the police on him if he wasn’t. They decide that he needs to be monitored for a while, get onto meds that will help with these different episodes that he’s been having. As they wheel him out on the stretcher to take him to the hospital, he has them stop so that he can express his remorse one last time. When he’s gone the police officer asks if there is anyone that they can call for me, the first person that I can think of was Felix. I didn’t even hesitate when I gave them his contact information, I knew that I needed his support. I wouldn’t be ok until he was here with me, throughout the last two weeks he has been my rock, my safe place. I won’t feel safe until Felix is here with me, protecting me. The officer waits with me until Felix bursts through the doors, when he sees me and my current state he rushes over to me, pulling me into him. When the officer confirms that Felix is who he says he is, he leaves.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come with you.” Felix grabs my face gently, wiping my tears.

“I didn’t think that he would be home, he was supposed to come back tomorrow.” “That doesn’t matter. No matter what y/n I would have always gone with you.” “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, or the others.” “I beg you, bother me. I don’t want to get a call from the police like that ever again.” “I-I’m sorry, can we just go home now?”

“Of course.”

Felix helps me down to his car, making sure I’m comfortably in the car before he rushes around to the other side and gets in himself. The drive to his dorm is silent, music playing in the background. It’s like neither of us know what to say to the other, I truly didn’t mean to scare him and I didn’t think Hyunjin would be back this soon but I now can see how that was poor thinking with everything that had happened.

When we get to the apartment, I’m tired and just want to nap. I can tell that Felix is still worried about me and I don’t want to cause him even more worry. He walks with me into his bedroom, ready to make sure that I can settle comfortably into the bed before he goes out into the living room. When I lie down, I realize that I don’t want to be alone, before Felix can leave I grab onto his hand.

“Is everything ok?” Felix questions, looking down at where I’m holding his hand.

“C-can you stay, just until I fall asleep? C-can you please h-hold me?”

“O-of course.” He almost hesitates but still motions for me to move over, I comply.

He climbs into the bed next to me, pulling me into him. I burrow my face into his neck, letting myself find comfort in his warmth, in his presence that has been a saving grace these last two weeks. He buries his face into my hair, pulling me into him even more, almost as if he needed this just as much as I did. Neither of us said anything, instead basicking in the comfort that we brought each other. I expected him to leave after I fell asleep but when I woke up a short while later, he was still there, holding me just as tight as when we fell asleep. I didn’t say or do anything, instead deciding to go back to sleep.

Six Months Later:

Much to my dismay and argument, Felix and Seungmin wouldn’t let me look for a new place to live. Insisting that the current living arrangement worked just fine, that there didn’t need to be any changes. Anytime that I tried to bring up the subject of moving out, they would find a way to change the subject and would act like it never happened. I didn’t want to keep freeloading off of them, I felt bad, feeling like I was using them. They constantly claimed that I wasn’t using them, that the fact that I would cook and clean for them, because let's face it, anytime these two tried to cook it was always a disaster, was enough for them.

To my surprise, a month ago Felix had invited me as his plus one to a Louis Vuitton event that he had to go to. I said yes, but I was super hesitant and nervous to go especially after what had happened the last time I had to go to an event like this. He promised me that it wouldn’t be like that this time, that he would be by my side the entire time. The second reason I was hesitant to go was because over the last six months of living with him and Seungmin, I had grown to like Felix and his sunshine personality. He kept his own emotions under check so well that I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same, and I couldn’t just outright ask him.

Hyunjin had come back a month ago, he had been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. At first things had been extremely awkward within the group after they had heard about what happened, they needed to know since he was going to have to go on hiatus. I thought that when he came back I wouldn’t be ok being around him but when the others were around I was actually ok, I could handle seeing him. He knew that the relationship that we had was over, and he was ok with that. I think on a subconscious level he could see the relationship forming between Felix and I, and he knew that it would be a better fit than him and I. He was a silent supporter of whatever was happening between Felix and I.

To make me feel more comfortable about going with him to the event, Felix took me shopping for a new dress. One by the brand that he was an ambassador for, he wanted me to get the dress first so that his stylists could match his outfit to it. He had thought this whole night out so well that I couldn’t even argue that it was going to be fun, and the dress was absolutely stunning. It was a white floor length gown with a vee neck cut, and when I saw how Felix matched himself to it, I couldn’t help but feel special. He made sure that I felt included and felt like this was important that I felt comfortable with him at all times at the event.

Night of Event:

When we arrived at the event, I expected Felix to usher me off to the side so that he could do the photo-ops but instead he gave me a questioning look, almost as if asking if it was ok to be photographed with me. When I nodded to him that I was ok, he pulled me into him and stood in front of the cameras. I could tell that he was in his element and he was happy, happy to be here and happy to have me here with him. I smiled for the cameras, glad that he didn’t want me off to the side, rather right next to him. The more he made sure I was ok, the more I fell for him. I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to keep my feelings for him a secret.

When we got inside the event, he kept his hand on my waist, keeping me close to him. I was glad to have him there as a solid rock for me, if I had to be put into this situation again I wanted the memory to be a good one and not one like what had happened before. Everytime we stopped to talk to someone, he would look down at me smiling softly before continuing the conversation. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, I couldn’t help the blush that was rising up my cheeks. If he noticed he didn’t say anything, rather he just pulled me into him even more as he talked to whoever had caught his attention at that moment. When they started announcing that the fashion show would start soon, I got nervous and scared that I would have to sit away from him but he tightened his grip on my waist and led me to the front row chairs that he had been assigned.

I thought that we would go to the after party when the show ended but he instead led me outside and down the steps towards the beach that he had seen me eyeing since we arrived. I was glad to be alone and away from prying eyes, even if it was just for a little while. I didn’t pay attention to the way that Felix looked at me, rather focusing on the ocean and the feel of the sand between my toes and the water flowing over my feet. I could feel Felix come stand next to me, if I had turned to look at him I would have noticed that he wasn’t looking out at the ocean but rather at me, with a look of pure love and adoration.

“Felix.” I say softly as I turn towards him.

“Hmm.” “I-I need to tell you something.” “What is it? You can tell me anything.” I look at him, taking a deep breath before I continue.

“I love you. I know it hasn’t been that long since Hyunjin but you have been my rock and safe place through it all and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without your support.” “Y/n, I love you too. I didn’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable so I always kept it to myself. Even before you dated Hyunjin.” “We really are fools in love.” I say looking at him.

“Yes, yes we are.” He grabs my waist, pulling me into him. I can feel his hands grab my face gently. He looks into my eyes.

“F-felix, c-can you k-kiss me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He says softly while leaning into me.

When Felix presses his lips onto mine, it’s not like what the movies describe. The hundreds of fireworks, or anything like that. The feeling of his lips on mine is like coming home on a cold night to a warm home, the perfect temp of hot cocoa, everything bright and sunny. It felt perfect, and I never wanted to stop. His hands moved from my face to in my hair and on my waist, pulling me into him even more. My arms wrapped around his neck as he deepened the kiss, I never wanted this feeling to end but I knew that both of us needed air and one of us had to pull away and I honestly don’t think that Felix was going to.

“That was the best kiss I have ever had.” Felix mumbled, pressing his lips to mine again in a short kiss.

“It was perfect.” “We should probably head back, before they send out a search party.” He jokes as he grabs my hand. Slowly leading me back to the steps up to the building where the after party was held.

As we walked hand in hand into the after party, I couldn’t keep the grin off my face and honestly neither could Felix. When one of his friends that I didn’t know walked up to us, I expected him to pull his hand away but instead he tightened his grip and found a way to include me into the conversation. When his friend asked who I was, I expected Felix to say that I was just a friend, something that Hyunjin would have done but instead he looked down at me and smiled before responding that I was his girlfriend. I knew Felix was different, but every time he proves it and it still surprises me.

Epilogue:

I knew that at some point we would have to tell the other boys that we were dating but both Felix and I agreed that we wanted to keep it to ourselves just for a little while longer. He still insisted that I live with him and Seungmin and I finally relented but my only stipulation was that he no longer slept on the floor but rather in the bed with me. He agreed without any hesitation, claiming that he could get unlimited cuddles from now on, but I think we both knew that his back was killing him from sleeping on the floor for so long.

We decided that we would tell the boys at one of their dance practices, later down the road when we were able to come up with a way to tell them that wouldn’t upset Hyunjin. But until then, we just focused on each other and the comfort that we got from each other.

I knew that Felix had an early morning, he knew that he had an early morning but neither of us wanted to let the other go when we heard his alarm going off. He planted kisses all over my face before coming down to my lips, I could get high off of his kisses. He gently pushed me onto my back, placing himself above me as he continued to kiss me. I knew that this was headed into dangerous territory and if it didn’t stop soon he would be late to practice.

“Lixie, you have to get ready for practice.”

“Come with me.” “What?” “Come with me to practice. I don’t want to hide, I want to openly love you.” “A-are you sure? Seungmin is the only one who knows and you know how he reacted.” “I’m sure, I want the others to know. Hell, I want the world to know that you are my girlfriend.” “You want to announce our relationship not only to the boys but also to Stay?” “Yes, I want to share my love for you with them.” “If you are sure, then so am I. I know that as long as I am with you, I’ll be ok.” “Then it’s settled, we’ll tell the boys and then I’ll speak with the media team to come up with a way to announce our relationship to Stay.”

“Sounds perfect.” I kissed him again.

He kissed me back with just as much fervor, I knew that he was going to be late today. Or at least that’s what I thought until the door burst open and Seungmin rushed in, hand over his eyes as he blindly reached for Felix. I could feel Felix being tugged off of me, I let out a small laugh at the sight of my poor boyfriend getting dragged away by his younger roommate.

“Sorry y/nnie, just following Channie Hyungs orders.” “It’s fine Minnie, I’m coming with you guys anyways.” “You are?” “Yes, Felix wants to tell the boys and Stay about our relationship.” “Sweet!.”

Seeing the excitement in Seungmin’s eyes at the prospect of Felix and I’s relationship not only becoming public but also being announced to the boys, gave me hope that everything in the long run would be ok. The look that Felix gave me, also told me that everything in the long run would be ok.

#lee felix x y/n #lee yongbok x reader #lee felix fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshots #lee felix #stray kids fluff

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