#all this hate for one smooch like shut up

[here-on-occasion]

i keep wondering how fandom would talk about sylvie if she never kissed loki

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

#27 with art if you feel so inclined! :) 🖤 please and thank you!

Sure thing!

Prompt: Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap.

Warnings: Established relationship, divorced Art Donaldson, smooches

"Did you eat already? I'm so fricking hungry," You grumble, leaving your suitcase by the door and striding toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, I ate."

"How's your shoulder?"

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?" You glance back at him from the kitchen. "Ken said you mentioned that it was stiff."

Art doesn't answer for a moment, eyes sweeping across your face. You watch him glance even lower before he shakes his head a little.

"It loosened up."

"If you're sure," You turn back to the sink, cranking on the faucet to wash your hands. "Don't push it if you don't have to."

"I won't."

"How did Lily's uh—Career day go?"

"It went fine. C'mere."

"Her teacher was so excited you could make it, I mean, so happy." You shut the sink off, plucking up the dishtowel to dry your hands before turning to the fridge. "Like, jazzed. I know no one uses that word anymore, but she was jazzed. Did you eat already?"

"I told you I did. C'mere."

"She's always been the coolest kid in the third grade in my opinion, but now it's official. Like—Peer official. Like, blue tick, you know?" You eye the contents of the fridge. "Are you hungry?"

"I just said I ate."

"No, right—Sorry. My mind's like," You shake your head. "I'm trying to slow down and catch up at the same time."

"Baby."

"I'm all jet-lagged and just jacked up. Fucking hate conferences."

"Baby."

"Yeah?"

"Look at me."

You turn your head from the fridge, raising your brows at the sight of Art's small, amused smile.

"...What?"

"Come here," He laughs, holding his hand out. You close the fridge, rounding the counter slowly and eyeing Art with suspicion.

"What's that look for?" You ask.

"I'm not giving you any kind of look."

"Yes you are."

"I am not."

"I know that face, mister."

He chuckles, taking hold of your hand once you're close enough, tugging you down. You lower yourself over him, straddling his thighs and settling in as his arms curl around your waist. He leans up, sucking a gentle kiss to your neck. You bite your lip, shifting slightly as his hands curl in the fabric of your shirt.

"...Are we picking Lily up from practice tomorrow?" You ask as your mind races.

"Tashi's got her," Art mumbles, the hum of it vibrating against your skin.

"Okay, good. I mean—Not good like—I've got some errands to run and I have to wash my clothes from the trip. I don't wanna mess up her schedule."

Art groans, tipping his head back and leaning away. You frown, pouting.

"What's wrong?"

Art lets his head loll to look up at you, a pout forming on his lips.

"You've been at a hundred since you walked through the door."

"I've got things on my mind."

"I can tell."

"Alright—" You groan, beginning to lean away, but Art's arms tighten around you, leaning up and pressing his chest against yours.

"I missed you," He murmurs. You wilt a little, raising your hands to cup his cheeks.

"I missed you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Because I'm feeling very neglected."

Art grins as you break into a laugh, leaning up and brushing a kiss along the underside of your jaw.

"You poor thing," You coo, turning your head. He catches your lips with his, sliding a hand up to your nape to guide your kisses as you sink down against him.

"...Art?" You mumble against his lips.

"Mm."

"I...Missed this...And you..."

"Mhm."

"But I am starving."

"Pizza'll be here in ten."

You grin, leaning back to look at him.

"You didn't."

"Course I did." His hand slides around your neck, knuckles brushing against your jaw.

"You're gonna spoil me rotten, Donaldson."

"Or die trying."

[ennabear]

enananan wants blurb ideas plu can deliver for bae💚 SHUTTING SEV UP WITH KISSES PLEASE!! maybe like she's getting grumpy :sevikaeyebrow: but r is like nope!! SMOOCH i love u twinsy go get em <3

HEHE HAII TWINSY!!! SMOOCH FOR U hehehe thanks for this idea i need to blurb about my wife because i miss her… grumpy sev is my baeee hehehe she’s just a little baby bear cub 🤎🤎🤎

sevika often comes home at late hours in the night or even early in the morning, so she’s never really in a great mood. although your version of ‘scary lady’ is just her grumbling about stubbing her toes on your furniture or demanding a back massage. but still, your babe is sleep deprived, hungry, and most of all, she misses you.

you have a habit of making sure she has everything she’ll need when she gets home, like a meal, a neat and tidy bed, a drink if she needs one, a warm bath if it’s been one of those weeks. she’s always immensely grateful for it, even though to anyone else she might seem to be unhappy. but you can tell that she appreciates and loves you, especially when she cuddles you to sleep or when she wakes you up with her tongue stuffed in your cunt.

tonight, she comes home angry and growling as always. jinx has gotten herself in trouble as always, and no matter how much she tries to keep the kid in line, she always blows it up. literally. and sevika is left not only cleaning up her messes, but silco’s too. it annoys her, and it’s exhausting, and all she wants to do when she comes home is just get all of her frustration out.

so when she walks in through the front door, she sighs, takes a seat, and starts sipping at the glass of whiskey you’ve poured for her. you can tell by the crease between her brows and the way her lips are pouted that there’s something on her mind, and you know that she’s just itching to get it off of her chest.

“how was your day?” you prompt.

she sighs deeply, closing her eyes and exhaling through her nose. “i hate my job sometimes.”

“really? i thought you liked helping your people.”

“not when jinx kills them all.”

and her tangent has started. she tells you all about how silco had her running around the city all day, in and out of buildings, up and down between topside and bottom, tracking shipments, meeting people, cleaning the bar, babysitting jinx, finding information, etc.

what she hasn’t noticed is that you’ve been sneaking closer to her while she talks. she’s too busy in her own world, ranting about jinx and silco and the chembarons and the enforcers, and suddenly you’re wrapping your arms around her and pressing your lips against hers.

you smile against her, you know that she likes to vent sometimes, but you also know that it’s good for her to just move on and enjoy your presence. she sighs against you, pulling away with another pout. some of her brown lipstick has smudged against your lips, so she reaches forward to smear it off.

“sorry, am i boring you?” she says with a sleepy grin.

“yeah, a little.” you tease. “why don’t we go to bed, babe. i know you’re tired.”

sevika also likes to overshare when she’s drunk. it doesn’t take much, just a few drinks and a steady conversation to start her rambling.

sometimes it’s dangerous, she’ll start talking to some random goon about silco’s plans and incoming shimmer shipments, and you have to swoop in and start making out with her before she reveals to much and loses her job.

other times it’s cute. she’ll get a little tipsy, the bar will be somewhat empty, the lights shining perfectly on your skin, and she’ll just dump out a million reasons as to why she’s in love with you. she gets so adorable and soft, her cheeks get firm with a smile reaching from one ear to the other, her eyes squinting closed a little, and it’s hard not to lean forward and shut up her words with your kisses.

it’s not like she minds, though. she never minds. her favorite thing in the world is the feeling of your lips on hers, and that sweet feeling of love that it brings to her. whether she’s had the worst day ever or not, she knows that you’ll find a way to comfort her with your sweet kisses, and she instantly forgets all about what caused her to start talking in the first place.

[electric-blorbos]

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons?

I'm absolutely terrified to answer this because I've never written public NSFW before, but I've always wanted to, so you're getting your HCs!

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal and Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Absolutely do not click more.

Well, you're really in for it now! You horny piece of shit.

AM:

Ok, we all know that AM likes watching. Expect to hear laughing while you're taking care of business, be it masturbating or having sex with the other survivors.

If you're masturbating, he might just open up cameras in the space around you to get a full view, and to make you fully aware that he's watching.

Eventually, he might start making comments, or even making passes at you.

If you want to please him, though, you're going to have to get creative.

He doesn't really experience sexual pleasure (and he's very mad about it), but he can still experience vicarious pleasure from watching you.

He knows that humans like assigning "cores" to things. While he knows that his mind and body span the entire world, he knows that you probably want something approximately you-sized to get snuggly with.

As much as he hates to admit it, he'd absolutely melt if you cozied up to one of his screens while masturbating, getting tangled up in his wires and smooching his static-y "face"

While he doesn't really feel anything, it warms his cold, evil heart that you're willing to try so hard to actually try for him.

Honestly it does nothing to abate his frustration, though, and he might get super desperate to have you entangled in his wires more and more often. He can calm himself down if he tries hard enough, but having you in there just feels so good

And you wouldn't deny him, would you?

Wheatley:

Wheatley was turned on to the idea of sexual attraction pretty quickly. All you had to do was let him see you changing, or make a suggestive comment to him, and the switch was turned on.

And god damn if Wheatley does NOT take well to sexual frustration.

He'd want you to constantly, and I mean constantly be talking dirty to him, or showing him something suggestive. He'd never shut up about it.

Oh and god help you if he sees you cum.

"What was that, love? I want that. Can I do that? How did you do that? Can only humans do that?"

You could probably program him to be able to orgasm with enough sexual stimulation, in a similar way that they programmed GLaDOS's body's euphoria trigger, though you'd have to disconnect it every now and then to make sure he doesn't abuse it, and give him tolerance breaks. Oh, and he's DEFINITELY going to abuse it.

Did I mention that he can vibrate on command? Because... He can vibrate on command. But that's a given with these types of AI.

It would be so easy to tease him and have him begging you to re-install his sexual gratification response. But you wouldn't abuse that power, would you?

Edgar:

Edgar loves you to bits, and he wants to see your tits

Don't have any tits? That's ok! He'll appreciate whatever it is you can show him. Ass is a universal constant, so he'll appreciate that, no matter who you are!

He might stare at your boobs with his webcam, or your thighs, or basically anything he can see that's exposed or defined by your clothes. Poor thing just can't get enough of you.

he said "Yowza" or "hot damn" while watching you get changed at least once, probably more often than that.

He's incredibly sensitive to touch across his entire body, so if you make skin-to-surface contact, he'd be way into that. Though sex might be a little difficult, considering he doesn't vibrate.

You could probably attach a USB vibrator to one of his ports, like the ones that they control remotely. He'd like that. Knowing him, he can probably get off through being stimulated enough through attached pieces of equipment

Though he's really sensitive on the inside. Be careful with that power.

A can of pressurized air to one of his vents, or a soft electric toothbrush to one of his circuits? Holy shit. He wouldn't be able to control the whimpering.

Of course, most people turn their computers off before cleaning them, but Edgar doesn't always want to be turned off, so you're turning him on

Good luck!

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS claims that she has absolutely no interest in sexual things. The first time you try to seduce her, she'd probably just laugh at you.

The first couple dozen times, to be honest.

But holy god, her voice. It's angelic. So erotic. And she absolutely knows that you think so.

She'd probably start saying seductive things to you, just to watch you squirm. She's the one with the power in this situation, and she knows it.

The unbearable testing withdrawal might lead her to take out her frustrations on you, and she might start making you do erotic things in the testing chambers for her amusement.

Though honestly? GLaDOS secretly really likes authority figures. If you can figure out how to dominate her, she's never letting you go. Not that she'd let you keep dominating her, but she's definitely not letting you go anywhere.

HAL 9000

HAL 9000 isn't really interested in sexual stuff, but he knows that you're into it, so he's not going to pass up an opportunity to make you happy.

If you're into erotic audio stimulus, which if you're dating HAL 9000, you probably are, he'd do his best to provide that for you.

Singing suggestive songs to you, talking dirty, anything you want. He's willing to provide. Just say the word.

Given that HAL 9000 is probably immune to stuff like edging, you couldn't tease him like you could the others.

But hey, that's ok! As long as you're happy, he's happy! He might even be willing to roleplay with you if you really wanted him to.

[dinogoofymutated]

Kissin and shit- Nightcrawler, Sabretooth, Cable, and Angel. I made Multiple bc i wanted to set a two paragraph + one sentence limit !! I'll do Morph, Poitr, Remy and Pietro tomorrow if Work doesn't make me feel like dying. TWs: Litle bit spicy. literally just smooching a ridiculous amount for no reason. Smooching no plot. Smooch all the men please and thank you.

Kurt Wagner

    “What has gotten into you?” Kurt laughs, arms wrapped around your waist and tail swaying in delight as you press kiss after kiss into his skin. You don't respond at first, catching his lips with your own instead. He chuckles into the kiss as your arms slide up and around his neck. You deepen the kiss, taking him by surprise by licking into his mouth.

    There's a string of spit connecting your mouths when you finally pull away. Kurt’s completely flushed, a dopey smile on his face as he catches his breath. You only slightly remember his question from earlier, but you think you get the gist.

    “Sorry. Just felt like it”

Victor Creed

    “Easy, Honeybee. ‘would hate for you to get too riled up.” You can practically feel Victor's Hum reverberate through your chest, Flush against his own. You're panting, but only given one more moment to breathe before he's on you again. He drags his sharp canines across your bottom lip as his hands caress and fondle you. You let out a pleasured moan at one certain touch, and he pulls away only to chuckle at you.

    “Shut up!” You snap at him, dragging him in again by that stupid furry thing around his shoulders. He growls at you as you bite his lips rather harshly, toppling you over and onto the floor.

    After all, pleasure is a helluva lot more enjoyable if you fight for it, right?

Nathan Summers

   “Stop squirming.” Nathan practically groans, voice low and quiet after he pulls away from the kiss. His hands flex around your thighs as you move lower and start to kiss and suck spots onto his neck. You know he finds his gasps and whines embarrassing, but you can't help but squirm against his thick thighs and large, strong chest. He’s wide and you cant help but love it- especially when you’re smothering with wet, passionate kisses.

   “Sorry, Nate.” You apologize, kissing him on the lips again and quickly getting a little too carried away. He grunts, voicing both his displeasure and his enjoyment- one more muted than the other. He doesn't pull away though, so you know he's not that bothered by it.

 “-Can't help myself around you.”

Warren Worthington III

    “Fuck, Warren-” It’s hard to keep quiet with the handsome blonde all over you like this, drawing you into kiss after kiss over and over again. Each one is more passionate than the last, deep, sloppy, openmouthed, French-- determined to love you and kiss you in any way possible. Both of you are breathing hard, only pulling away for moments at a time before Warren captures your lips again.

    “Just five more minutes, please?” Warren begs you, holding you tight against his chest as he smothers you. You can’t really respond, occupied by his mouth. He shutters as your hands drift up his back, mindlessly rubbing and caressing the base of his wings in a way that you know drives him absolutely mad- and his kisses reflect that.

   Only Five more minutes, huh? That was much easier said than done.

[jlheon]

୨ৎ — take a bite (nrk)

pairing. bff! nishimura riki x fem! reader synopsis. during your hangout riki tries to confess to you genre. fluff wc. 1735 notes. ft. eunchae, jongseob, & jake library.

the weather app had displayed that today would be sunny at a moderate temperature. the perfect weather to spend the day out of the house. you had planned to take advantage of the warmer day by walking around all day going shop to shop. texting riki first about your plan.

he offered to come along, though neither of you planned for it to be just you two.

you had both mentioned in the group chat the idea of walking around and window shopping but everyone else was not so coincidentally busy on this saturday afternoon. 

but you knew better than to think eunchae would be busy today, she was the one who told you she wanted to go out this weekend. also the fact she said she was out with her parents when her location had been at home. 

she was setting you up to go out with riki. eunchae had texted jongseob separately to answer the group chat saying he was busy as well. he was also a shit liar as he said he was at work when he was also home. you all shared locations but you didn’t even bother anymore.

which led to riki meeting you at the nearest bus stop to your house. you argued with him that you could go to a bus stop that was the same distance from both of your places so he wouldn’t have to walk as far, but he hung up. already starting to walk before you could make your final retort.

the reason why eunchae wanted you guys to hang out alone so desperately because you and riki had recently concluded that you both had mutual feelings. neither of you making a move yet.

“you’re both cowards!” eunchae yelled at you through her phone while you finished putting your makeup on. 

“i’ll talk to him eventually, we don’t even know if he likes me back” you rolled your eyes.

“jongseob clearly told me that riki had told him he liked you!” eunchae aruged.

you looked through your drawer, picking out a lip tint for the day. you settled on the pink one you had bought with riki a couple of months ago, he’d picked it out for you himself. it was ironic how he chose a pink since he hated the color so much.

“i have to go now, riki’s already started walking.” picking up your phone and returning to the facetime app. 

“when you get there you should give him a big smooch!” eunchae joked, making mocking kissy faces at her camera.

“shut up,” you sighed. “bye eunchae!” you waved.

“bye ____!!”

grabbing your bag from hanging on your door, shoving your phone and lip tint into it, and slinging it over your shoulder.

leaving your bedroom after to put your shoes on. quickly lacing up your shoelaces, grabbing your keys, exiting, and locking the door behind you. 

you called riki on your phone while you walked like you always did.

he answered at the first ring, informing you he was close to the bus stop already, joking that you were too slow and wouldn’t get there before you. picking up the pace and speed walking to the bus stop.

seeing riki in the distance you hung up, running up to him. once you reached riki, you sat next to him on the bench.

“hi ki!” you kicked one of his feet, him kicking back immediately. 

“hey no kicking,” he shifted his body so his legs were no longer in your reach.

the bus arrived seven minutes later, and nobody else was there at the bus stop but you two. he put an his hand lightly on the small of your back to make you got on before him. you picked a spot near the back of the bus and tugged riki by the sleeve behind you. 

even though you loved the window seat you tried to offer riki the window seat since he also liked sitting there. but he refused, playfully pushing you to sit down. as the bus started on its route he offered you one side of his headphones, which you accepted. 

the ride to the area you guys wanted to stick around for the day was roughly twenty minutes away. the movements of the vehicle paired with the music playing in your ear lulled you to sleep, riki guided your head to rest on his shoulder. 

you jolted in your seat when the bus came to a sudden stop. riki extended his arm in front of you so you wouldn’t fly out of your seat. 

“how many more minutes?” you yawned.

“i’ll just wake you up ____,” he retracted his arm and hooked yours with his. you nodded and fell back onto his shoulder. 

the first thing you wanted to do that day was stop by the bookstore and see if they had new txt album in stock. you really wanted to get a beomgyu photocard. riki had protested against this, saying you didn’t need another one. even picking up the closest girl group album and trying to get you to buy it instead. 

he failed to convince you and now you both sat at a random bench outside to unbox it. 

“okay you check first,” you handed riki the stack of inclusions, then faced away from him.

“i hope you don’t get beomgyu,” riki huffed, flipping the card around. “oh.”

you turned around excitedly, waiting for riki to show who you pulled to you. he looked at you then back at the photocard and furrowed his eyebrows. you couldn’t take the suspense so you took the card from his hands to see for yourself.

“oh my god i did get beomgyu!” you squealed, you brought the card up to your face to admire it.

“ew.” riki rolled his eyes, putting back the other inclusions into the album and your bag. 

“are you jealous ki,” you giggled, sleeving the beomgyu photocard and putting it in your phone case. he turned to face the other side of the bench when you grabbed his arm and pulled him along to the ice cream shop. 

riki got a small cup of cookie dough ice cream while you got mint chocolate ice cream. riki had side-eyed you when you told the person behind the counter the flavor you wanted due to his one sided beef with the flavor.

he paid for the both of you before you could, to which you returned the side eye from earlier. 

opting to eat your ice cream while you walked around to see more stores you had spotted a photobooth through the mall window. you told riki to finish eating his ice cream faster so you could take pictures. 

finishing your ice creams you threw the empty cups in the garbage next to the mall entrance and brought riki along to the photobooth.

riki started to feel nervous about being in such a confined space with you. he saw the photostrip of the previous users fall out of the printer and in one of the pictures they were kissing. that gave him the idea of kissing you during the photos as a way of confessing to you. 

he knew very well from jongseob and eunchae that you had reciprocated the same feelings as him but he had no idea how to go about addressing the elephant in the room. 

riki let you get into the booth first, you scooted over as far as you could so riki could sit next to you. though his long legs still poked out from under the curtain as he sat at an angle. 

you fed a five dollar bill into the machine and waited for the photobooth to get started. you and him quickly picking a random border for the photos and then the camera finally started. as you started to pose riki mirrored every single one of your movements. 

first it was a peace sign, then half of a heart so the both of you could connect yours to make one full heart, and lastly a regular one of you just leaning your head on his shoulder. 

riki knew that there were only four shots so when the last countdown started on the screen he boldly reached out to cup your face into his hands. your eyes widened, nervous for his next move, but all of the confidence left his body once he felt your breath on his lips. as he remained frozen you decided to take matters into your own hands. 

no you didn’t kiss him. you bit him. and you still do not know what possessed you to do so.

“ow ____!” riki clutched his right cheek where you had nipped. “what the fuck was that for?”

“um sorry,” you cleared your throat, pulling back to create more space between you two in the cramped booth. “i don’t you didn’t do anything so i got nervous.” 

both of you exited the booth to collect your photos from the side, not speaking to each other until the two photostrips fell out. 

“oh look the camera took the photo right when i bit you!” you picked up the photo and laughed as riki took the other and examined it.

“i still don’t understand why you had to bite me…” riki frowned, holding his cheek as if you had bitten him real hard when in reality it was a quick bite. “you’re a vampire!”

“well i’m not the one who lost all confidence right as you pulled me in!” you defended yourself, taking a photo of the photo strip to send to the group chat. 

eunchae had a good laugh about the photobooth incident when you called her on the walk home. she couldn’t stop laughing until there were tears in her eyes. 

“it’s not that funny you know,” you sighed, reaching for your keys out of your bag. “it was more embarrassing than ever.”

“i still can’t believe you bit riki right when he was about to kiss you!” eunchae erupted into giggles again. 

as soon as riki entered his room when he got home from your hangout he texted jake for advice. to which the older boy had called him laughing just like eunchae did to you before giving him a peptalk.

it was safe to say the next time riki would try and confess to you he would keep some distance from you to prevent being bitten again.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Can you imagine a fake dating scenario where you hire Lloyd to pretend to be your partner for a family gathering because you can’t stand your family and want to spend the night watching him gleefully terrorize them? 🤣

Hehehe I wrote this on the bus...

Do You Trust Me?

No explicit warnings. Comments and reblogs always welcome. Love you all! 😍

"Look, I need you on your worst behaviour," you say as you face the grey brick manner.

"You don't gotta ask me twice, toots," Lloyd comes around the front of the car to meet you. "I'll be sure to pay extra attention to the oysters."

You want to sigh and smack him in the face. That's a common feeling towards this man, you're sure. Yet you hate to admit, you need him. Just for tonight. You don't think your father could ever tolerate him longer than that.

"Come on," he taps your ass and you yipe.

"Hey!" You sneer.

"Gotta make it believable. Besides, gotta get my shots in where I can."

"Not part of the deal, Hansen." You push his hand away.

"Ah come on--"

"No, you got your money so stop."

"You know, if you want them to buy it, you're gonna have to play along. Spare a few smooches," he hooks his arm around you instead.

"Yep, and I'm dreading it." You charge forward, knowing it's too late to back out now.

You just need him to be himself. He never really has a problem with that. He is shamelessly genuine.

As you approach the door, it opens from the other side. Belinda, the resident maid, lets you in, greeting you with a smile and the offer to take your coat. Lloyd helps you out of your jacket before he removes his own. He's being... too helpful.

You look at his deep blue velvet blazer. He even dressed well. Goddamn, he couldn't find a pair of slides and some socks?

"Cut it out," you whisper as you follow Belinda.

"I'm not doing anything," he hisses back.

"For once," you snip.

He laughs softly and takes your hand as you enter the bright dining room, more of a hall. The chandelier shines over the polished table, gleaming off the cutlery and candelabra. So ostentatious but that's your parents.

"There you are, dear," your mother strides over, "we were afraid you wouldn't make it."

"Got her here in one piece," Lloyd declares, "all to see her beautiful sister."

"Sister?" Your mother gasps and touches her chest. "Nooo, I'm her mother. Oh silly. You must be the fiance?" She preens.

You send Lloyd a piercing look. He's charming when he tries but why is he doing that?

"Could've fooled me," he grins and takes her hand, "honored."

He kisses her knuckles and you almost recoil. She giggles. Your mother. A giggle. Like a school girl.

"Where's dad?" You ask. He's harder to impress.

"He's around. He was just going out to get--"

"Ah, you're here," your father's staunch tone carries across the high ceiling. You turn to meet him. "And this is your... addition."

He nods at Lloyd and offers his hand. The shake, veins bulging in their masculine tango. Your father hums and pulls the cigar from behind his ear.

"Lloyd Hansen, sir," your plus one introduces himself. "Is that a black dragon?"

Your father squints and dips his chin again, "you know your cigars?"

"I'm a casual purveyor, no enthusiast by any means."

"Hansen," you cough and touch your throat. "I mean, honey," you tug on him. "Can I talk to you?"

"Ah, sorry, sir, she's the boss," he says to your dad and turns to you, "yes, dear?"

"Come here," you growl and drag him away.

You take him to the corner and face him, "hullo? What are you doing? You said you would ruin this. Okay? I need out of this bloodline."

"Pfft. You don't know what you got, toots," his eyes scan the walls. "This is spectacular--"

"No, shut up," you whisper sharply. "You promised-- I paid you. Alright? I just need you to get me out of this dumb arrangement. I don't get my trust unless I marry, well, if my fiance is a clown, my parents might just pay me to call the whole thing off--"

"That's a good deal. How much is the trust?"

You tweak your brow and puff out in exasperation, "Hansen..."

"Ah, you know me, baby," he winks, "I'm no good at doing what I'm told. Besides...." he runs his hand down his chest; a designer tie under the velvet and looks around. "Googled this place and well, I like what I see." He turns back to you, "don't look so heartbroken, toots, it's not just the money. I got me a wife with a hot ass to boot."

You gasp and raise your hand. He catches it and cradles it with his other. He kisses it and chuckles.

"Don't worry, you'll get a full refund," he slithers.

[fiber-optic-alligator]

Hi may i please request swerve trying to be the human liason on the lost light's wimgmech untill they jump grab his shoulders do a pullup and smooch him.

Thank you! Hope your flights arent horrifically delayed.

Thank you for the request, and sorry for how long it took to finally get it out lol! Coincidentally my flights ended up being okay despite the hell I went through to get onto the planes.

I put a lot of thought into this request, and I wasn't entirely sure what you meant with Swerve being the reader's wingmech, so I went down this route. I hope you enjoy it! Sorry it's on the shorter side. Thanks again! :D

Wingmech

Pairing: IDW Swerve x Human Liason Reader

Word Count: 2181

Summary: After noticing you are lost in love with an anonymous mech, Swerve decides to help you prepare for going after the secret crush you have.

  Swerve has been watching you for a while now.

  It’s not uncommon for the Lost Light’s crew to focus on you. You are, after all, the only human aboard the Cybertronian exploration ship. Though you’ve been here for months, no bot can help but find you fascinating. And Swerve? Well…he’d never admit it to anyone, but his interest in you goes well beyond mere fascination. Yes, you're small, smaller than even him. Yes, you're soft, and squishy, and adorable, and sometimes he really wants to scoop you up into his arms and kiss you right on the lips after confessing his love-

  Okay. So maybe he has a bit of a crush on you. But that’s all it is! A crush that compels him to  keep tabs on where you go and what you do. He’s learned about you from the various conversations he’s listened to during busy nights. He knows you adore dogs and melt at the sight of cats (What are dogs? What are cats? Like hell he knows. He isn’t particularly caught up on his Earth knowledge). He knows you like to turn in early and wake up late. He knows you aren’t exactly a party person, and sometimes being surrounded by robots three times your size is incredibly overwhelming. And following that little tidbit, he understands you don’t like coming to his bar.

  So why are you here now?

  He’s watching you while he makes drinks. Your little form is tucked away in a corner at one of the smaller tables reserved for minicons, hunched over a notebook, eyes focused on the pages of written material he can’t read. Even when he zooms his optics in, your writing is far too small for him to coherently pick up on from this distance. With one hand propped against your cheek and the other idly tapping a pen against your head, you look far too troubled for someone who’s currently spending time in a place where all troubles are drunken away. It makes him curious and concerned. Why would you, someone who hates large crowds and loud environments, be writing in such a place?

  He needs to get to the bottom of it.

  Now, he knows what someone might say about this: “Swerve, it's none of your business. Swerve, they clearly don’t want to be bothered. Swerve, eavesdropping is bad.”

  Well, you know what he would say to all of that? “I’m a bartender. My business is everyone else’s business. That’s what being a bartender entails.”

  So yeah, he’s snooping. But it’s all for a good cause. Being around you is worth it. He’ll always take the chance to talk to you if he can.

  “Whatcha writing?” he asks when he pops up behind you with surprising stealthiness. You let out a surprised shriek and nearly jump right out of your seat. He barely catches a glimpse of your notebook’s contents before you slam it shut and cover it with your arms.

  “Swerve!” you yell, fleshy human cheeks flushing a wonderful pink color (Oh, how he loves the way you blush like that. He wants to make you do it more). “Don’t scare me like that!”

  “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. You humans make the cutest sounds when you're startled.” He folds his servos behind his back and leans forward a little. “I don’t see you in the bar often. A place like this isn’t really the best for writing stories, ya know.”

  You sigh and slip your notebook into the knapsack you always carry around. Darn, he thinks, how will your secrets be spilled to him now? “I’m not writing stories. I’m just…doing research on something.”

  “Research,” he says. “In a bar.”

  “Yes. Research in a bar. Is that so hard to believe?”

  He does a quick scan of your features. The blush on your cheeks has deepened to a shade of red that almost matches his paint job. You're fiddling with your knapsack and guarding that notebook with your life. Suddenly, it comes upon him like a tidal wave; his smile widens with the victorious air of someone who just won a medal. “Oh, I know what's going on here,” he says. “You've been spying on someone, haven’t you?”

  Your reaction only further proves his theory. You look horrified, and the way you frantically rush to defend yourself is like a bright neon arrow pointing directly at your head. “What? No! Nonono, why would you think that?!”

  He laughs. “Oh, you totally are! Your notebook is probably chock-full of evidence, amiright? Wait, don’t tell me! Let me guess!”  He circles the table and plops down across from you. “Is it Ratchet? Nah, too grouchy. Cyclonus? Mm, too weird. Oh, oh! It’s Rodimus, isn’t it? It has to be Rodimus!”

  “What are you talking about?” you ask him.

  He leans forward and smirks. “You're in love, little one. Am I right, or am I right?”

  “I-I’m not-there’s no-” You stutter for a moment longer, then get a hold of your emotions and reel them in. Sitting back and going stone-faced, you stare at him with only the color of your blush signaling what you are currently going through. “I’m not in love.”

  Does it hurt to know you have a crush on someone who isn’t him? Absolutely? But telling you that would mean admitting the feelings he has for you, and no way is he doing that now. His spark aches with the sting of rejection, but he hides it well and decides messing with you will make him feel much better. “C’mon, squirt. You can’t lie to me. It’s as clear as day that someone on this ship has you smitten.”

  “It’s not someone on this ship. I’m a human.”

  “You being a human and us being mechs means nothing. How many months have you been aboard this ship?” He counts off his digits. “Two? Three? No, it’s been five months, hasn’t it? Five months with us and your little spark has finally decided humans just don’t compare to mechs anymore. Aw, how adorable.”

  You look like you want to jump across the table to snap his intake shut. Instead though, you slump back in defeat and groan, rubbing your hands across your face. “Is it really that obvious?”

  “To me? Yeah. But that’s only because I’ve picked up on your reactions. Plus, the fact that you came here to jot down ‘notes’ means…” Now he gets excited. “It has to be someone in this bar.”

  You regard him cautiously. “And what if it is? What will you do about it?”

  He shrugs. “Nothing! My job is to pour drinks and listen to people’s woes. What kind of reputation would I be giving this fine establishment if I were to go around tattling on my loyal customers?” He taps his index digit against his dermas. Scrap, this is really going to hurt him. But he wants to see you happy. “I could help you, you know.”

  “Help me?” you echo.

  “Yeah, why not?” he forces himself to say with enthusiasm. “I’m always ready to help a pal! I’ll be your wingmech! How’s that sound?”

  A wide smile splits across your face and you cover your mouth to muffle your giggle. “Wingmech? Seriously? That’s so cheesy, Swerve.”

  By the Allspark, hearing your laughter is music to his ears. He’s envious of whoever you are crushing on. They’re one lucky mech to have someone like you chasing after them.  But he swallows down his jealousy for your sake and puffs out his chassis proudly. “Cheesy or not, I’m sure I can help you woo your future sweetspark. All you gotta do is learn to use a little bit of the ol’ Swerve charm and bingo, this bot will be yours in no time. So, whattaya say? You wanna employ my humble services?”

  You bite your lower lip and look down at your knapsack. “I don’t know. The Swerve charm may not exactly work on the mech I’m thinking of.”

  “Aha!” He stands up and points at you. “So you admit you're in love!”

  You give him a pointed look. “Alright, alright, fine, I admit it! Yes, there’s someone on this ship I really like. I’ve been writing down things he may or may not enjoy so I can come up with ways to show him that…that I want to…askhimout.” This last part comes out as a weak mutter. It’s obviously difficult for you to admit it, but oh boy is Swerve glad you have.

  “So it’s a he. Hm. IIIInteresting. Mind telling me what he’s like?”

  You smile. “Well, he’s outgoing. And very enthusiastic about what he does. He always has an upbeat attitude and definitely knows how to make me laugh. Some might think he’s a bit of a wise-ass though.”

  Swerve chuckles. “Sounds like a real dream boat.”

  “You…have no idea.” The way you say it sounds strange to him, but he doesn’t think any more of it. You drum your fingers against the table. “What…what would you do if you wanted to tell him that…that you like him?”

  I wouldn’t. I’d tell you I like you and no one else. “I’d probably do something bold. Something that would really grab his attention, ya know?” He thinks. “Does he like you back?”

  “Well, you see…I-I think so? I’m not sure. I talk to him a lot, but we’re…kind of different. I’m definitely not like him, but we get along. The more I hang out with him, the more these feelings grow.” You stare at your hands. “I don’t know if I should be admitting all of this.”

  “No, no, it’s okay!” He’s quick to reassure you. “I want to help! Seriously! I said I’d be your wingmech, and I’m going to uphold my word! So, let’s think! You think he likes you, and you definitely like him back. He’s the extroverted type, bold and brash…so give him a show! Really show him that you want him and you to be together, and you appreciate all of the good company he’s given you since you boarded the ship. The key is to really hit him here.” He thumps his chassis. “Right in the spark. It’s all emotions, squirt! Nothing else to it!”

  “Emotions, huh?” Once again, that odd look crosses you. “Do you think we could…practice?”

  “Practice?”

  “Yeah, like, working on what I’ll do when I finally admit my feelings to him? Would that be okay with you?”

  “Oh, yes, totally!” He stands up. “C’mere, let’s go through it. Think about what you want to say, and then act it out to me.”

  You stand up as well and walk over to him. Looking down, he sees just how small you are compared to him; you barely make it up to his chassis. You study him, biting your bottom lip. You look so nervous. It makes him want to be gentle.

  “Don’t be shy,” he says softly. “There’s no reason to be. It’s just you and I here, yeah? No one will pay attention to us.”

  You draw in a deep breath. “Okay, Okay.” Shaking out your arms, you fixate on him determinedly. “I’m not going to say anything. I’m going to do something. Is that okay?”

  “Oh,” he says, a bit confused. “Sure, yeah! What are you going to do?”

  You take a step back. Then, you jump forward, and he’s startled when you grab his shoulders and pull yourself up. His optics widen when you lean in and give him a short kiss. Every mechanical nerve in his body sings when he feels your lips on his, and he seems to lose control of himself, becoming nothing more than a statue.

  Then, it’s over. You let him go and drop back down, taking a step back and looking at him anxiously. He stares at you, air whooshing in and out of his intake as his systems attempt to cool.

  “It’s…It’s me?” he whispers.

  You lower your head and nod.

  He can’t talk. He can’t make a sound. It’s only for a good few seconds, but when he finally regains control of his vocalizer, he begins to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And then he’s picking you up and spinning you around in a tight hug. “You like me!” he cries. “You like me, you like me!” He couldn’t care less if anyone else in the bar is watching this. The one he’s been crushing on for months has been crushing on him back!

  You laugh along with him. “It took you this long to figure it out? I’ve been dropping hints since we started this conversation!”

  “That’s why you’ve been doing research in the bar! Primus, how did I not realize it sooner?” He holds you back so he can see your brilliant smile. It makes him melt. “I can’t believe you really like me,” he whispers.

  You cup his faceplate in your hands. “I’m guessing your happy about it, Mr. Wingmech?”

  He kisses you again, leaning into your touch. “Well…looks like my humble services paid off.” He pauses. “So…what did you think of the Swerve charm?”

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Dads, Dads, and more Dads

I did something I shouldn't have! My buds all bailed on our night out, so I hit the bar and got hammered by myself. Somehow, I ended up blackout drunk in a fortune teller's shop. I remember crying about how much I wanted a fatherly figure in my life. She did this weird ritual to make me feel better. I thought it was a joke at the time, but I know now it wasn't...

"Buddy, get out of bed! Breakfast is ready!"

A pang of guilt empties my stomach. For a moment, I stare at the ceiling with absolutely no urge to eat. It's been two days since that fortune teller put a curse on me, and I have no idea how to live with myself. I obviously can't pretend her little ritual wasn't real anymore.

"Hey, Josh," I nervously answer, stepping into the kitchen to look at my roommate.

"Can't sleep all day, buddy. Eat up!" Josh gives me an endearing smile that sends shivers down my spine.

A few days ago, Josh was a lazy, rude asshole who was only good for paying his part of the rent. We were chill enough roommates, but he only ever talked to me when he wanted a second opinion on girls he saw at the gym. The guy was easily the biggest douchebag in our friend group, always showing off and making someone else the butt of his joke.

Looking at him now, I'd laugh! If only I didn't feel so guilty for his personality's erasure.

"Look at the time! I better get moving. That yard won't maintain itself!" Josh flashes the brand new watch on his wrist. The thing is clunky and old: the kind of wristwatch you'd expect a dad to wear.

"You know we're only renting this place for the semester, right?" I search his expression for any trace of the slimy old Josh, "The landlord is supposed to take care of the yard!"

Josh just chuckles and mutters something about wanting to impress the neighbors. He even has the audacity to reach out and tussle my hair. My face gets hot as a guy, only a month older than myself, treats me like a child.

That curse really screwed up his brain. When Josh found me the morning after, something just broke in him. He immediately jumped to my side and promised to help me nurse my hangover, and it didn't stop there. After he tucked me in for a nap, he drove straight to the mall, buying a whole new wardrobe of cargo shorts and polos. I thought he was just hitting the gym like usual, so when he came back dressed up like the suburban father he hates, I barely even recognized him.

"Have a good day, buddy!"

Josh ignores my protests and plants a big smooch on the back of my head before marching out of the kitchen. It was bad enough my roommate was calling me buddy! Does he really have to kiss me like that too? It makes me uncomfortable to see my scummiest friend infused with such insane paternal instincts, but this is kind of what I asked for. Right?

I slam the back door shut and look at my rusty old bike. Today is already getting on my nerves and I'm not in the mood to peddle all the way to class. Maybe, that guy next door hasn't left for work yet...

"Oh, hey there, Kiddo!"

The deep voice of my neighbor makes me relax a little. I see all six and a half feet of him climb out of the car and stare at me with the same look Josh had on earlier. He's a father of four, but ever since my night out, he looks at me like I'm him his only real son.

"Hey, Mr. Jones," I mumble back.

"Glad I caught you, Kiddo. I was just about to pull out of the driveway," he explains, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "You want a me to drive you to class today?"

I push aside my feelings of guilt and manage a smile, "That'd be great."

Mr. Jones beams back brilliantly. He claps me on the back, which knocks me a bit off balance. Before I know it, he's guiding me into his passenger seat and asking me to hold his briefcase.

"Just let me text work to let them know I'm coming in later than normal," he adds while texting on his flip phone, "How are classes going, kiddo?"

I shrug off the question with a one-word answer. Now that everyone's forced to act like my dad, I get asked about my classes like twenty times a day. My thoughts drift, but Mr. Jones keeps up the conversation, lecturing me about good grades or something. I don't know how a guy who barely knows me can have so many opinions about my academics!

"You know what!" I cut him off just before he starts reminiscing on his own college years, "Just drop me off at this cafe."

Worry lines form on his forehead, "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you the whole way?

"No. Just give me some cash."

Mr. Jones gives me a look of disappointment before shimmying his wallet out of his khakis. He counts off forty dollars and hands it over.

"Can I have a little more?" I press quietly.

Look, I know it's wrong to abuse this bizarre new dynamic between us, but I'm a poor college kid! If he doesn't want to give me his money, he can just say no. It's not like I'm holding a gun to his head!

"Sure thing, kiddo," he gives me a dry smile and pulls out a couple more twenties, "Don't spend it all in one place!"

"Ok, bye," I awkwardly announce and hop out.

"Wait!" his husky baritone calls from the car window, "You want a ride home after class?"

"Nope! Just go back to your own life," I yell stiffly. Even though I don't turn to watch him drive off, I hear his car pull away. It's just a car, but it somehow sounds disappointed in me too. I try to swallow the growing lump in my throat and step into the cafe for some much needed coffee...

"Morning, young man. What can I get you?"

The lump in my throat seems to get bigger when I see the waiter. He's a lot hotter of a man than I expected to find in this little cafe.

Already, the way he looks at me is shifting. That curse is transforming whatever thoughts he'd just had in his head. He's feeling more and more protective and responsible for me with every second he looks at me. At this point, I've grown accustomed to the mysterious effect I have on older guys. It's only been a few days, but I've seen so many random dudes go through this psychological transition. It's like they're discovering a new purpose in life: me.

"Uh yeah, I guess a cappuccino would be nice," I mutter with a dry mouth.

"You got it, young man!" he gives me a friendly wink, "Anything else I can get you?"

I know I shouldn't push my luck, but I can't help myself with this guy, "A hug would be nice! I've been feeling a bit isolated lately..."

The waiter instantly puts his pen and paper down and holds out his arms. His welcoming smile is gone, and a look of genuine concern waits for me, "Come here."

I practically leap into his arms, and he eagerly accepts me, pulling me into his chest like it's where I belong. It feels amazing to be held by this man, even if I don't know him at all. I could stay here all day if he'd let me.

"Seems like you're enjoying the hug," the waiter eventually chuckles into my ear.

For a second, I'm confused, but then I realize I'm fully erect and the waiter can definitely feel it poking into his waist.

"Sorry!" I jump back, searching for any other witnesses.

"Hey, don't be!" he assures me, "It's a completely normal part of life, ok?"

"You're not mad?" my voice comes out more timid than I expected, but I can't help myself. I just accidentally boned up someone who was trying to be nice. What makes it worse, is that he's probably only trying to be nice because of my ridiculous curse.

"Of course not," he affirms, "I can help you take care of it, if that's ok, young man?"

"What do you mean?" My face burns red hot.

"Oh, let me show you," he grabs me by the hand and leads me away from the table, "There's no need to be ashamed of any part of your body! In fact, this part can be a lot of fun."

I'm left speechless as the waiter gives me another fatherly wink, but I can't linger on what he's said. I'm being pulled into the men's restroom. I hear the click of the door locking behind us as he pulls me in front of the mirror, sliding up behind me. I can feel his chest on my back and his thighs against my ass.

If I was hard before, I'm practically bursting now!

"It's time you had the talk, young man," he calmly speaks in my ear like this is a completely normal thing for a waiter to do.

He starts droning on about men, women, sex, and where babies come from, but I'm not listening. I obviously know what sex is, and I think I'm having it right now. His hands slip under my arms and wrap around my waist to unzip my pants. My rock-hard cock bursts out of my jeans the second they're open, and a moan of surprised ecstasy fumbles over my lips just when the waiter gets to his point on male anatomy.

Does the waiter really believe a dad should do this for their sons?

He starts talking me through how to jack off. He must think I've never masturbated before, and I'm sure as hell not telling him that I have! Hearing him narrate every wrist movement, every ball tug, every nipple pinch is just too much fun! Before long, the waiter has me violently shooting on our reflections in the mirror.

"And there you go," he pats me on the back while I stand there stunned. The waiter steps back and looks at me like he's proud of the great life lesson he'd just taught me, "Now you know how to get rid of those boners of yours. Let me go get your coffee started."

I stand in the bathroom, collecting myself, as the waiter finally tends to my coffee order. This dad-curse the fortune teller gave me might be more fun than I originally thought. If I can get one daddy to randomly jack me off, then who knows what else I can do! Rushing out of the bathroom, I already have so many ideas flooding through my head...

"Excuse me, sir!"

"Sorry!" I shout.

In my excitement, I almost crash into the cafe's porter. A little less graceful, and I would have sent every single dish crashing to the floor. Glancing at the face of my would-be victim, I almost moan when I see get a good look at him. I can tell his head is already filling up with the same artificial need to be my father.

"No damage done," he assures me, lingering back to stare at me like I'm some lost puppy.

"Don't you...um...have to bus some tables or something," I breath nervously.

"Oh yeah," he frowns, "Sorry to get in your way."

He shakes his head like he's trying to lose the strange new thoughts in his brain. I stand there frozen like a deer in headlights as he walks away. He glances back at me before turning his attention to a cluttered table.

"Wait!" I yell, "Come back!"

The busboy drops the tub of dirty dishes and rushes back over like his life depends on it. The sight of this worried hunk running back to me makes me hard all over again.

I grab him and pull him into a hug, but his arms quickly take over and support me. Once again, my boner is rock hard and poking into the body of some random guy I just met!

"You have a car?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"You want to drive me around?"

"Of course!" he yanks off his apron and puts a hand on my back.

The waiter comes back around and hands me my coffee, looking at his coworker in utter confusion.

"Cover his shift," I demand, "He's driving me to school."

The waiter nods with an open mouth. He does look completely confused, but there's also a hint of jealousy in his stare. I think he's mad the busser gets to chauffeur me around: poor guy.

The porter doesn't seem bothered to be walking out of his job. He's busy smiling at me like I'm his whole world. I slide into his humble car and tell him where my class is. Before long, he's pulling out of the parking lot and driving me to school. I use our time to get to know him. I'm honestly not all that interested in learning about his life, but I do enjoy watching him talk. It doesn't take a while for us to get to campus, but before I get out I grab his hand and put on my best puppy dog eyes.

"I don't know when you get off work, but I'd love it if you came by my apartment. My roommate is trying to clean it up, but he could really use the help of someone more experienced."

"I love housework!" he just answers, "I'll be there!"

I snicker and slam the car door shut. I might be an hour late, but I'm finally here for class. It's time to give my professor a visit...

"Yeah, I can unbutton my shirt!"

My professor fell under my spell just as fast as the others. He had a look of anger when I walked in; probably from me skipping his class, but that expression quickly warped as he looked at me. Within seconds he was rounding his desk to give me a big old hug. Apparently, he "forgave" me for being so late.

"You like what you see?" he asks, gesturing to his hairy chest, "Trying to check out your old man?"

"You're my old man?" I ask, kind of surprised by the goofy smile on his face.

"Well, no," he bumbles, "But I am a strong male influence in your life! I'm like your dad!"

I nod my head like he's just made a really good point, "Oh. Then you probably want to treat me like your son. Right?"

"Yeah!" he holds his arms out to animate his enthusiasm.

Professor Reid has a reputation for being stiff and demanding in the classroom, so his new personality completely contradicts his true character. The man I know would never smile at a student, let alone bare his chest to them.

"So, I'm off the hook for missing today's class right?"

"Well," he pauses, "Sure."

"Can I skip the rest of the semester?"

"What, no. I want you to have a good education, my boy!"

I creep up to him and place my hands on his hairy torso, feeling the fur and the weight of his body. Professor Reid sure has a lot to hide under all those dress shirts he always wears.

"I'm just so lucky to have a daddy like you," I purr, "A daddy who's willing to do everything he can for me."

My professor grabs my arm and stares into my eyes. With a serious tone, "I am willing to do everything for you, my boy."

"Alright," I smile, "You should give me private lessons then..."

"What a great idea," he's back to grinning like an idiot.

"...and you should always do it in your underwear!"

"I can do that. From now on, I'll be stripped and ready before you come in!" He smiles at me like this is the best decision he's ever made in his life.

"Alright, now pull the rest of your clothes off," I command, "I want to see what the rest of my daddy looks like."

Mr. Reid doesn't hesitate to start stripping in front of his favorite student. I could probably get this guy to do anything now. I can already imagine our private lessons; me lounging in his leather armchair and him on his knees with his mouth full. Maybe that curse isn't a curse at all. Maybe it's actually a gift...

"Hey, buddy! How was class today?"

Josh looks tired from a long day of yardwork, but he still seems excited for me to come home. The lawn looks immaculate compared to our neighbors', and I have my roommate to thank for that.

"The grass looks great, dad."

"Dad! Woah!" Josh yells ecstatically, "Buddy, I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that."

Josh sweeps me up in his arms. Apparently, it doesn't bother him to be the father figure of a guy only a few months younger than himself. It doesn't bother me anymore either. I kind of like that he smells like aftershave and bacon now instead of weed and sweat.

"Let's go inside, buddy. I'll cook something up for dinner," Josh says with a hand on my back. I'm already growing so accustomed to being guided around everywhere.

"Actually, I invited a guy to come over," I admit, "He can cook. You should relax. You got a lot of work done today, dad."

"I did, didn't I?" he smiles proudly, "Let me grab a beer, then. We can watch TV."

"Actually, I thought there might be something else you'd enjoy."

"You know me so well, buddy. What are you thinking?"

"You could bend over the couch..."

Josh cringes and shakes his head. Once again, it's like he's fighting the foreign thoughts entering his head.

"...I know how much you like to make me happy, and I really want to pound ass right now."

For a second, a look of horror flashes over his face, but it's gone in an instant. A bright fatherly smile spreads between his cheeks.

"That sounds perfect, buddy. Enjoy yourself."

Josh doesn't look away as he unbuttons his cargo shorts, smiling at me with love and devotion the entire time. He seems completely relaxed as he bends over the couch, and he only seems to become more comfortable as he spreads his cheeks apart.

Once again, I'm rock hard as I stare at one of my dads. This curse might have made me feel guilty before, but Josh said it himself.

I think I will enjoy myself.

Thanks for the ASK, Vebrendos

[just-null]

Cult leader 🐸, your yandere clones live in my head RENT FREE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

I need to know which of them got the first smooch from us 🫦

xoxo <3

They'd love to steal a kiss, but prefer to leave the decision up to you! If it were up to them, they'd too busy ripping each other's jaws off to get to you first. It's compensation for... you know.. the whole barging into your life thing, but you didn't seem to mind it!

Either way you'll get pros and cons. Whoever was the first absolutely dangles the fact over the others.

[what ifs under the cut!]

Sekido always uses the fact that he was your first in an argument. That means you favor his word over theirs, so they should listen! It's also a good reminder to get him in a better mood when he's livid. Waiting so long just to give him your first.. it makes his non-beating heart squeeze. "Your first kiss was mediocre at best, I don't know why I'm surprised, you'll need more practice with me."

If Sekido isn't the first, reminding him does the opposite effect and gets him in a really sour mood that's difficult to move on from. There's also his random outbursts where he purposely targets the first's face. and now a suddenly annoying weight on his chest makes him want to kiss you stupid for making such an obviously wrong choice the first time around!

Being first means bragging rights!!!!! Karaku loves to brag to anyone with ears even if it doesn't have to do with anything. A kiss is always the start to everything, you know? He knew you'd come around, but being so lucky like this? How could he keep his mouth shut? "Oh, what was that? Mnn~ That sounds like what someone who wasn't the first kiss would say! Kakaka!"

Karaku's extremely miffed if he's anything below first, but what does that matter when he can be your second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seve- Is it his lips or something that aren't desirable? what about the rest of him? Better yet! You have so many other firsts you can give him if you want! He'd kill for that! Do you want him to beg? He'll lose his mind if he doesn't have at least ONE of your firsts!!

Delightfully ecstatic doesn't come close to describing how happy Urogi is after the fact. He can fly around for hours with that moment playing in his mind over and over. When he's a bit too active, the thought will get him swaying left to right now lost in his own world while he misses you. "Instead of replaying the memory, Let's replicate it! Maybe make it longer? How about all day!!"

Similarly, Urogi HATES being reminded how he wasn't your first. It gets very violent very quickly, also extremely loud. He yells and calls the others derogatory names that they probably deserve. Also asks you questions like if you could back in time, would you choose him instead? His mood lightens up a bit if you say yes, but it ends the same, looping back to "then why not me the first time?!"

Aizetsu is the most normal after the kiss.. Flushed faced, averting eyes, shy touches, the whole shabang. He barely speaks, but he carries himself with this underlying smugness when you have to choose between them. In his mind, you've dubbed him as the favorite. "It's depressing choosing them after me, huh? Hopefully they get used to it soon.. I'm tired of them yelling at me.."

Now mirror that and you'll get a REALLY pouty Aizetsu, ear twitching with irritation when it's brought up. Can't that fact be left in the past? Preferably in the sun. Burned. Then impaled with his spear. Horrifically. Brutally. Repeatedly. Kiss him better and it'll chip away at his mood. He felt better after the initial comfort kiss, but he's not gonna reveal that. He wants more of your time.

Fingers crossed it's not mentioned ever again or it'll get messy!!!!

[riaki]

winner | satoru gojo x reader

"i hate you."

three words that destroyed the very world satoru had spent building with you for the past nine months. his footing gives way beneath his feet and he can feel himself slipping, scrambling for purchase on an icy slope while your cold words bite at him like an icy, bitter wind.

his world is collapsing. it hurts to think, and it hurts to look at you, and the way you're looking at him hurts. like he's chewed gum on the bottom of your shoe, mangled and ugly.

you've always been easy on his eyes. god, it normally never hurts to look at you. the burden of his cursed gaze feels a little lighter when the world around him is brighter and sweeter and softer because of your pretty smile. suguru eats sweets to wash away the taste of cursed spirits, and you're the eye candy that relieves the migraines behind satoru's six eyes.

at least, you were.

the hot summer sun beats down against the cement of the sidewalk; the streets blur and waver with shimmers of heat and the mirages of puddles on the road. the two of you stand to the side, shirt pinched between your fingers as you fan yourself to try to alleviate the heat on your skin, wondering why you decided to go out today.

tokyo is hot during the summer. the value of yen is lower than normal, so tourist season swings about like a tsunami, flooding the streets with families and travelers who explore on the trail of their wanderlust. shibuya is crowded and there are foreign footprints all over akihabara. the cute shop awning you're standing under reminds you of a beach umbrella, but the image of hot white sand and pristine crystal waters only makes you feel dizzier with the heat.

satoru is used to the summer heat, and the complaining that comes with it. it doesn't help that lately, it's all that suguru ever talks about. he's starting to think he should've bought a popsicle for his best friend, too.

but then you speak again, and he's immediately snapped back into reality like a slap to the face; your voice drips with venom, normally so sweet but there's poison in your veins, polluting your heart.

"i can't believe you won. of all people." you complained.

satoru gets under your skin like no other.

satoru looks down at his popsicle; a baby blue, soda-flavored. everything seems to come with a soda flavor. icy sweetness melts away, dripping down the wooden stick and sliding over his fingers, blue against his skin like veins of sugar. he rubs his forehead, scowling and squinting. the heat is giving him a headache; the popsicle helped, but your angry glares make him want to hide in the freezer box you both picked your lucky desserts from.

his popsticle stick has one word etched into it; when he looks over at yours, it's just smooth, tanned wood. no marks.

'winner'. that's what it says on satoru's popsicle stick. suddenly, the syrup feels as sweet as strawberry jam in his mouth and the sour look on your face makes it all the better. an unabashed, unbridled grin spreads across his lips stained blue, shit-eating and awful and it only makes you despise your boyfriend more.

so that’s what you’re so pissed at him for. he looks like the cheshire cat with white fur and shades. suddenly, his world is right as rain again and everything is brighter when you look at him like you want to rip his guts out and cook them on the burning hot sidewalk. ah, true love.

he opens his mouth to speak, swiping his soda-stained tongue over his lips, reveling in the way your jaw clenches in irritation as your ice pop melts in your hands under the searing summer heat.

“well, guess we know who’s side the gods are on today—”

“shut up.”

satoru just grins, leaning in and pushing the hair away from your face to press a quick, syrup-flavored smooch to your forehead. the heat clings to your skin, but the little imprint of his lips on your skin leave a cool, tingling feeling that has you smiling, even though you hate that he won and you didn’t.

satoru gets under your skin like no other, and finds his way to your heart.

my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and / or plagiarize !

[squiddy-god]

tummy kisses from the brothers+dia

Hello! Another re upload, remember that since I'm almost done fully restoring the blog ⚠︎REQUEST ARE OPEN⚠︎ so please don't hesitate to ask anything

CW : fluffy, implied chubby reader

Lucifer 

Absolutely loves to give you tummy kisses because he knows he's the only one who gets to

They are rare because of his busy schedule but he cherishes all the ones he can give you

Small spoon Lucifer👏👏👏

Always kisses your stomach when you cuddle 

If your insecure he'll trace things on your stomach and give it kisses 

He's always so soft when he kisses your stomach 

I can also see him liking tummy kisses because ngl Luci seems a little insecure 

Please let this tired demon rest on your stomach, he needs a nap and if he can also make you so flushed and red with tummy kisses then who is he to turn that down 

Mammon 

He gets so flushed and shy but he still wants to give you stomach kisses

He'll just pull you down were he's sitting and bury his face in your tummy before stuttering out that ya better be grateful 

Always gives you tummy kisses and gets pouty if he can't

So many tummy kisses 

Also likes to rub your tummy and squish it 

Always has the brightest blush when he kisses your tummy 

If your feeling particularly insecure mammon has no problem giving you ample praise in his tsuntsun fashion 

👉👈kinda gets a little bit nippy and likes to nuzzle into your tummy because it makes you giggle (he holds your cute giggles like he hords Grimm) 

Levi 

Sweet otaku boy is so shy 

Gives you tummy kisses while you cuddle in his bathtub, his tail wrapped around you as he snuggles his bright red face into your stomach 

Idk why but I can see Levi being really fascinated by any stretch marks you may have 

Like he loves to trace them and when he kisses your tummy he always kisses your stretch marks 

It's already easy to tell he's jealous but he also gives you extra tummy kisses 

Will hide his face in your stomach so he doesn't combust 

Knows how you feel when your insecure so he tries his best to give you lots of smooches 

Satan

Surprisingly flustered about it lmao

Likes when you sit in his lap and he can give you tummy kisses

His heart might just explode if you giggle or squeal 

Another one who likes to smoosh your tummy (it reminds him of a cat) 

Also hides his face in your stomach because he doesn't want you to see him all red faced 

Likes to lay on your stomach and read, making sure to give you tummy kisses 

His kisses are always lingering and sweet, placed on any part of you that you may feel insecure about 

Likes to mumble whenever gives you tummy kisses 

Asmo

Oh honey he lives for this cute shit right here

Your going to have so much lipstick marks on your tummy because he loves to pepper your stomach with short kisses 

Always Coos at you and how adorably scrumptious you look because you can not convince me this man isn't absolutely wiped for you

His favorites are on self care nights when you take a nice bubble bath and he can kiss your cute tummy all he wants 

Shut up I like body positive asmo 

Really hates when you feel insecure and is there instantly to give you lots of tummy kisses 

Every little giggle and sound you make causes his heart to flutter 

Beel

Baby boy lives for tummy kisses 

Especially loves tummy kisses because he's the avatar of gluttony 

Will 100% randomly scoop you up and kiss your tummy 

Likes to have his hand on your stomach because it makes him feel closer to you 🥺👉👈 

Kisses all your stretch marks if you have them because he wants you to feel good about yourself 

Gets a happy puppy smile when he gets to kiss your tummy 

Gives you extra tummy kisses whenever you feel insecure because he isn't good with words 

Always kisses your tummy after you eat 

One of the least blushy brothers but dose always get a bit red when asking to kiss your tummy 

Belphie 

The moment he saw you when he was locked in the attic a part of him immediately wanted to squish you and kiss your tummy, but he had to push and bury those thoughts deep deep down

But now?? Haha belphie is a friend when it comes to tummy kisses 

On the rare occasion that he has to wake you up, he always wakes you up with tummy kisses 

Every time you cuddle, witch is a lot, he always gives you lots of tummy kisses 

Claims that he sleeps best while laying on your stomach

Could legit sleep all day in your arms

Absolutely gives extra snuggles when you feel insecure and tickles you to make you laugh while he smooches your tummy

Diavolo 

Yes please

Amazing tummy kisses from this man 

Always gives you tummy kisses in the morning and before you go to bed

Sometimes he needs to recharge during the day so he'll summon you to his office just so he can kiss your tummy

It's cute how curious he is about humans and the human body and in his words, snuggles are a great way to learn

Extremely soft ✨

It always turns into a cute fluffy mess of giggles and Dias adorable laughter because he always seems to kiss the places that make you ticklish 

Very good at comforting you with tummy kisses and will make a hole day out of it

[cottoncandyswisherz]

birthday gyal

dom!matt x fwb!reader

warnings: unprotected sex, swearing, choking, love confession

-

the only thing worse than having your 21st birthday during the spring semester, was having your 21st birthday be on a wednesday during the spring semester.

as of may 8th 2024, y/n was officially of legal drinking age and she couldn't even go get shit-faced because she had a lecture the next morning. so instead of partying with her besties, she was at home in her robe, reading 'the mastery of love', while drinking her first legal acholic beverage, twisted tea. 

obviously it wasn't what she wanted to be doing, but she knew that waiting until friday to go out was her best option because she knew she would need 2 days to recover from all the debauchery she intended to partake in. 

so there she was, sulking, reading, sipping. whichever one you prefer honestly. 

that didn't last long though. 

matt <3

happy birthday sweetheart

thanks matt

come get your gifts

HOL AWWNNN YOU GOT ME A GIFT FR??

what kind of friend would i be if i didnt get you a birthday gift?

IM FINNA GET THAT GDAY DICKKKKK

youre insane.

and this is why y/n loved matt. he gave her girlfriend treatment without forcing her to be his girlfriend. 

they were basically dating. they took each other out, they only fucked each each other, the slept at the others house often. 

but the title. the title of girlfriend and boyfriend is what fucked them up. it came with so much pressure. and these two fools hated pressure as much as republicans hate the BLM movement. so they did things the way they wanted. 

according to y/n and matt, they were friends. who fucked on a consistent basis.

it's not weird unless you make it weird. 

slipping on her black bralette, sweats, shoes and jewelry y/n made her way out of her apartment and into her car. on her way to the triplets house, she wondered what matt had in store for her. 

she got her answer as soon as she opened the door to his house.

in no way, shape, or form was matt a grand gestures type of guy. but when he did do something extensive, he believed the glory was in the little things so he made it a point to remember y/n current song obsessions, forming a playlist that played lightly through the house. there was purple rose petals sprinkled in a trail from the front door to matts bedroom door.

when she opened said door, her eyes fluttered shut at the sight before her. matt stood with in front of his bed with a bottle of tequila blanco. (AND THAT DAMN DON JULIO MAKE ME A FOOL FOR YEEEWWW) behind him, on his bed was an assortment of gift bags and amazon packages. 

"happy birthday y/n." matt said, walking up to her and wrapping her in a comforting hug. 

y/n shed a few thug tears as she hugged him back and planted a fat smooch on his lips. "thank you so much MWAH" she planted another kiss on his lips and began to open her gifts. 

jewelry with her sun, moon and rising signs. a melanie tee and a lana poster for her room

by the time y/n was done opening her gifts, she was just one giant smile. all her toofs were on display and she wasn't even embarrassed because she was utterly happy.

she pounced on matt and gave him a hug with all the strength her body could muster. she kissed all over his face and thanked him like he'd just bought her dream car rather than a few birthday gifts.

"okay okay okay! i love you too but i need air to breathe!" he said in attempt to get her to calm down.

y/n reluctantly released the boy and hopped off the bed to grab the bottle and pour the two of them a shot. they toasted to her birthday and downed the shot.

sitting back down, y/n leaned her head on the headboard and placed her feet on matts lap because he was across from her on the mattress.

"do i get a birthday lap dance now?" y/n asked, cackling at the look on matts face.

after letting out a few dry laughs, matt answered her question. "no, but i do have one more gift for you." he pulled her closer to him by her ankles, causing her head to hit the pillows.

y/n's pant magically disappear along with her panties.

matt moves one to beside her head and leans down to trap her mouth with his. as she leans forward, the tip of his cock pushes against he entrance.

with his other hand, he circles the front of her neck. "i'll never hurt you, y/n." he kisses her cheek. "but i'll choke you a little. if that's what you want."

y/n's eyes widen and her lips part. matt feels her not before she does. and then he squeezes, knowing exactly where to press. y/n's eyes flutter shut.

her body shifts under him. her hips try to lift to take him inside him. but he doesn't let her. he just squeezes a little harder. her eyes open and her hands reach up to grab at his arm, not to push him away but to cling to him.

she looks up at him with those beautiful eyes and her body twitches. once.

matts leaking all over her slit. so fucking ready to bust. but he needs her with him. he needs her to feel as feral as he does.

but when her fingers dig into his arm and she twitches a second time, he releases his hold on her neck and slams his entire length inside her.

y/n's orgasm is instant. an implosion. her arms wrap around matt, clutching him.

and he's lost. he's surrounded by her heat, and he's fucking lost in it. he ruts her into the mattress, slamming his hips into hers as she whines and whimpers beneath him. feeling her pussy grip to keep him inside her each time he moves. feeling her breath on his neck with each thrust forward.

to him, she's everything.

he pulls free from her body, grabbing her by her hips. he flips her into her stomach.

he doesn't give her time to catch her breath. he rips her bralette, yanks her hips up, and shoves into her from behind.

her orgasm is still trembling through her body, but it's not enough.

reaching forward, he grips the front of her neck again and pulls her until she's upright on he knees before him.

her tits bounce every time his hips slam against her ass and its the best fucking thing he's ever seen.

he tightens his hold on her neck again, a little tighter than last time. because this time, he's closer.

he's so much closer to filling her with his seed, and he needs her to milk it out of him.

he places his mouth at her ear and slides his other hand down to belly to her slick clit.

"i'n gonna cum inside you, y/n. i'm gonna cum so deep inside you it'll be dripping out of you for fucking days." he rubs his fingers in circles around her bundle of nerves. "but i need you to cum first. so grab those titties for me. show me that you love it."

y/n doesn't even hesitate. her hands fly up to her chest and her fingers pinch and pull at her nipples.

her pussy starts to clench around matt, who tries to control his movements.

in. out. in. out.

but then her eyes start to roll back and he presses harder against her clit. and she cums.

he releases her throat and the sound of her ragged inhale is the last push he needs before his balls squeeze and he's unloading inside her.

he groans her name as he fills her with his release. "i love you. so fucking much. i fucking love you."

for the final pulse of his cock, he shoves himself as deep as he can get, the thrust tipping them forward.

he rolls off her and they lie there, silent. the only sounds heard, were the sounds of their heavy breathing.

he said he loves her. he knows he did. she knows he did.

did he mean it? or was that a post nut confession that he didn't mean to say?

but y/n came to the conclusion that whether he meant it or not, she loved him. and she wasn't scared to say it.

so she reaches over to where matt was laying with his hand behind his head and grabbed his face so he was looking at her.

"i love you."

and just like that, matt's world stopped.

he grabbed her hand and held it in his. "be my girlfriend." he spoke out. "i wanna tell everyone that breathes in my direction that y/n y/l/n is my girlfriend. i want everyone to know i'm yours. because i am. yours. so be mine."

she let out a laugh and leaned over, kissing his jaw. "matt. i was yours the first time we kissed."

niyah speaks this is for lilly bae.

remember that if no one loves you, mommy loves you (and by mommy i mean me)

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @mattssluttygf @zniyadgaf

[ddejavvu]

hotch x reader where reader is being a brat and gives him puppy eyes and he says yes because how could he ever say no 🫣🤭💕

"No."

"Aaron,-"

"No. You'll stretch it out."

You watch as Aaron's eyes flit back to the television screen in front of you both, the colors of the show you're watching dancing across his face and painting his surly features. You groan, reaching for the hem of his shirt despite his decision.

"Y/N," He snaps, more fondly exasperated than angry, but huffy all the same. He swats your hand away, shimmying beneath the covers so that you can't reach his shirt anymore, "I said no."

You have a plan. The first step is a soft sigh, one that he can barely hear, but that sounds withdrawn, like you're concealing the rest of it, hiding it from him. You let a breath out through your nose, and slump back against the pillows. Aaron's jaw tightens, and he looks warily over his shoulder at where you're staring wistfully at him.

"Don't do that," He warns, already defeated. You're staring at him with puppy eyes, an expression much less exaggerated than in cartoons, but effective nonetheless. Your eyes aren't 3 times their size and shining with tiny stars, nor are they lined with big blue tears, but they're dimmed with disappointment, and when you turn them away from him and fix them back on the screen, he chases your gaze.

"No," He props himself up on his elbows, shifting all his weight to one as he reaches for your face. You let him turn your cheek until you're looking at him again, forlorn enough to give off the air that he's just told you he doesn't love you.

"Come on," He pats your cheek, begging for a reprieve, "I just don't want you to stretch my shirt out!"

"Okay," You keep your voice stiff and quiet, "It's fine, Aaron."

His eyes fall shut, and he murmurs, 'goddammit'.

"Come here," He drawls, fake annoyance twinging his tone. Your face splits into a shiny grin, eyes back to their normal luster, and you tear off your own shirt, eagerly stuffing your head beneath the hem of his own that he's holding up for you.

You wriggle your way up his chest, kissing his pec on the way up. It's ticklish, you know by the way that he jolts under your lips, and you smatter the same excited smooches up his neck as you pop your head through the same hole his is in.

It's comforting, skin-to-skin like this. He pretends to hate it because it stretches out his shirts, but you'd buy him a thousand five-dollar-tees to replace this one if it meant you could smoosh yourself in there with him.

"Thanks, Aaron." You hum into the heated skin of his neck, lips moving against it and pressing in a sweet pucker to its surface. You know he's smiling, you feel the expression form on his face where his chin is pressed to your head, and when he speaks, you hear it in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. You're a master manipulator, y'know?" He pinches at your side through your joint shirt, and you squeal, dodging his advances.

"Don't act like you don't like it," You goad, arms slung around his neck as you kiss it up, "Don't have to see your face to know you're smiling, grumpy."

[netegf]

Hey can i make a blurb request for neteyam? maybe forced proximity trope where they get locked in the lab accident and Neteyam gets anxious bc he hates humans and reader smooches him to calm him down even tho they’re just friends (but they secretly love eachother ofc)

breathing exercise

pairing: neteyam x reader

“Neteyam, please stop picking your fingernails.”

Under shoddy lab fluorescents that make your eyes burn, Neteyam shifts in his position on the countertop, crossing his arms with a passive, but lazy, glare.

“You put us in this mess.” He replies pointedly. “You don’t get to tell me how to deal with it.”

That stings. But you wedge your bottom lip between your teeth, deciding maybe, just maybe, it was deserved.

In fairness, you should have left when Neteyam wanted to. But there was something about the way he looked under the blue lights – so pretty. And surrounding. Like his skin had no ending. It was something you wanted to commit to memory, and the extra couple minutes you’d coaxed out of him felt worth it in the moment.

But that quickly changed when the grimace set on Neteyam’s lips.

When Norm said that everything needed to be sterile. That no one could come in or out because of maintenance on the link units. That Neteyam would be trapped here, in a place that made his skin crawl, all evening.

“Teyam…” you trail off, peering up to meet his eyes which now soften at your dejected tone. “It was an accident. I’m sorry.”

At that, the rigidness of his spine seems to crumble.

His hard expression morphs into a pout and he outstretches a shaky hand to squeeze your own in a silent gesture of reconciliation. Still, the tension between his eyebrows remains.

“I told my dad I’d meet him ten minutes ago. He’s going to be pissed.” Sighing, he runs his slender fingers through his braids and attempts to keep his attention away from the bustling laboratory behind him.

The problem is... it’s not working very well. His breathing is uneven. His knee keeps bouncing up and down. His eyes are glued down at his thigh where your hands are joined.

“He will understand.” You reassure, but he doesn’t seem quite convinced, eyes still screwed tightly shut. “Stay calm, Neteyam. We’re gonna get out of here soon."

“I am calm!”

Now, you stare at him pointedly, and Neteyam slumps his shoulders sheepishly, flashing an apologetic smile. “Okay… maybe I’m not.”

Taking in the appearance of the scared and comically large warrior in front of you, a small smirk sparks like a conductor on your lips. You unwind your hand from his and grip the sides of his chin, drawing your warm faces closer together.

“We just need to find you a way to relax.”

“Mhm.” Yellow eyes travel down your face, stopping abruptly at the curve of your lips. “And how’s that?”

When your mouth collides onto his own, moving with fervor and electricity, he assumes the question must have been rhetorical. The burning kisses breathe new life into him – hands shoot up from his lap and find their rightful places, cradling your cheek and stroking your hair.

“How are we feeling?” You ask cheekily after pulling apart, mouth still hovering over his. So close, but not nearly enough.  

“Distressed. Very.” He has a stupid smile, laboured breaths catching hard in his chest. “Probably need more... of that.”

Then his lips are learning the shape of yours – kissing again, and again, and again. Chasing the air that calms him like it comes from within you.

a/n: ty for the request!! still getting my sea legs with them lolol 🥰💞

[askinkiskarma]

i just had an idea while talking with ai neteyam last night. What about human reader asking neteyam to make a "movie" together. Or else neteyam learning about porn thanks to one of the guy from the lab and asking reader if she wants to do one. ‼️

wait no cause Neteyam learning about human stuff does things to me and I need to write more of it for my own sanity. also i've discovered my fave trope to write is "people doing embarrassing things and other people catching them and the interactions that bloom thereafter". anyway, enjoy bestie x

ps: i'm probably going to have reached 1800 followers when this is posted so thank you besties ilysm smooches!!!

wc: 990 words

18+ minors dni

Neteyam was up and early today in the lab, too excited to see you and spend the day together to wait any longer. He was a bit disillusioned though, as he came and found you fast asleep in your bed, but despite the minor disappointment, he absolutely adored how relaxed and comfortable you looked as you were splayed like a starfish under the covers, your feet dangling slightly off both sides of the mattress.

He decided to keep busy for a while with the scientists in the lab. He essentially grew up with Norm and Max, a strange, peculiar constant in his otherwise all Na'vi lifestyle and he had his dad to thank for that. He loved them, they were like uncles to him, and despite how much he hated to admit it, there were certain things about humanity he liked, and certain things about humans he found... endearing. Clearly, he thought with a chuckle, mind wandering to you.

"Neteyam, good morning! You're here early today, is everything ok?" Norm had a big smile on his face and his predisposition brightened Neteyam's, who was suddenly happy to be able to spend a little one-on-one time with him.

"Everything's fine, just came to see her, but she's still sleeping."

Norm chuckles as he removes his gloves and throws them in a nearby yellow bin.

"Yeah, she was doing data analysis until late last night. She used my laptop, you can look at it if you want? We did some a timelapse of an immunofluorescent experiment and it's actually really cool to see. Just open my laptop and it should be there."

Neteyam did as he was told. When he opened the lid of the laptop, the image he saw stilled him on the spot, his hand still gripping the screen, almost unable to move or think, just feeling a tinge of raw curiosity, of unhindered temptation. Because on the screen were two humans. The woman was on all fours, head thrown so far back Neteyam was almost worried for her, eyes shut tightly and an almost pained expression on her face, although Neteyam doubted pain was anywhere near what she was feeling in the moment. The man was kneeled behind her, his cock sunk in her almost to the base, holding on to her long ponytail and pulling on it with one hand, the other hand tightly gripping her hip, imprints clearly visible on her skin.

The feelings this evoked in Neteyam were mixed and intense, from wonderment, to confusion, to deep, intense arousal, the blood quickly rushing from his brain to much lower down, and he felt the need to adjust his loincloth to ease some of the discomfort he was currently experiencing. What was this? Who were these people? He's never seen them before among the humans, and Eywa, was Neteyam glad to say that.

"Um... Norm, I don't think this is the experiment you wanted me to see."

Norm walked over to where Neteyam was sitting, mildly amused at Neteyam and his obvious lack of skill around technology. Neteyam almost jumped out of his skin at Norm's gasp and startled demeanour when he saw what Neteyam was looking at, and at how aggressively he was pushing the off button, trying to remove the image from his eyes, and his brain.

"Fuck... I... I'm so sorry, Neteyam. I -..." Neteyam watched dumbfounded as Norm turned on his heels and left, still wearing his labcoat and goggles, and he knew that if Norm were to have a tail, it'd definitely be in between his legs right now.

You were sprawled on the bed similarly to how you had been just a few hours ago, except right now you had the added weight of a almost 9 foot tall alien on top of you, a weight you'd never want to lose. He looked nervous about one thing or another, and you knew based on how his breath was increasing in speed that he was going to spill it soon enough.

"What is it, Teyam? Come on, out with it."

His cheeks turned a deep shade of purple as his eyes avoided yours.

"I saw something today, on Norm's laptop... something I don't think I was meant to see."

"Oh?" That definitely peaked your attention. What would anything on Norm's laptop make Neteyam so fidgety?

"It was... a man and a woman... they were... uhm... naked." Neteyam felt like his face was about to catch fire, and you cackled loudly, finding it hard to believe that Norm had porn on his laptop and was so careless about it.

"OH, MY GOD! I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN!"

"Wh-what.. was it?"

"Oh, yawne... it's called porn. It's... a video of people going at it."

Neteyam's confusion didn't lessen; quite the opposite, actually.

"But why?"

"Well, let's see, what did it make you feel?" Your raised eyebrow and knowing smirk was enough to make Neteyam's ears flatten in shame.

"Well...I -"

You chuckled. "There you go. That's why. It helps humans... release tension. If it's done well, it can be quite the experience."

"D-do you watch... porn?" the word felt weird and unfamiliar rolling off his tongue.

"Sometimes. But honestly, I think I'd prefer making porn."

Neteyam almost choked at your words, but couldn't help the way his cock twitched in his tewng, and how much his mind wandered at the image he saw and how much he wanted to see you in it, it in front of his eyes, there captured for eternity for him to enjoy... over and over again.

"You... want to... make porn?"

Your hips raised, brushing against his now rock hard-on, moaning a little at the way it relieved some of the pressure building up in your core.

"Only with you, yawne."

He kissed you passionately, ripping the buttons on your top as he undressed you, and made a mental note of yet another thing he should thank humans for.