#all the nice tags making me weepy

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hello again, I love your cuckolding fic and your writing is beautiful but also pussy throb inducing.

-Jasmina 🌸

JDSFSDKDS HELLO!! THANK U SM IM GLAD U ENJOYED

[cherubfae]

A thought, perhaps a request, my humble friend- WHINY RAFAYEL. I just know if you spent the day working him up, only to keep teasing him at home he would be so desperate, and needy, and LOUD

𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔲𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔤𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢𝔰 || {𝔯𝔞𝔣𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔩}

tags: nsfw, smut, fem reader, subby Raf, edging, masturbation

a/n: lemme tell you-- I couldn't click on this message fast enough! Yessss!! We all know how dramatic our lovely fish is-- he definitely whimpers when worked up enough. this is a little short!! c:

"Y-you're really gonna make a guy like me beg, c-cutie?" Rafayel swallowed thickly, closing his pretty eyes the second your hand wrapped around his throbbing, weeping member. It had been like this all day. Rock hard and begging for a fraction of your touch.

He nearly passes out, hyper-focused on your thumb circling his sloppy tip, smearing pearlescent beads of precum down his soft pale skin. Distantly, Rafayel can hear himself chanting your name. His hips cant up to fuck himself into your fist, pouty lips drawn into a low moan.

"You're cuter when you beg, Rafayel." You shot back with a grin, your lips curled at the corner. He hated how desperate he felt, how much he craved release. How badly he needed to be inside of you. His fried brain could no longer recall how many hours--years (minutes) it had been since you started edging him.

Sunspots dance across his vision, watching the white curtains flutter in the wind and the salty sea breeze came wafting in to rustle your hair. His plum and fuschia eyes immediately became hooded as they lowered his straining cock. You'd been paying with him so nicely-- stroking him up and down in your pretty hands, and now here he was looking like fool.

Rafayel watches you scroll your phone, mere feet from him, from where he laid back. His trousers had been shoved down to his thighs and his fancy silken white shirt yanked up to his ribcage. He'd taken the time to shave for you, all neatly and artistically landscaped, and his angrily flushed cock was the centerpiece. Still dripping precum, his base and tip smeared in the color of your lipstick. The marks traveled up his pubic bone, past his pale tummy, and littered his chest and mouth like recent TikTok trends. His cheeks darkened all the way to his ears when he noticed just how much attention you'd given him-- but it was the wrong kind.

"Okay, I'm done." You chirp and set your phone down on the coffee table. Instantly you're on him again, the shock of it so sudden that Rafayel can't help the loud moan that trembles past his lipstick stained lips.

Oh, fuck, your mouth was like magic with the way your tongue lapped and rubbed at him. Yes.. Yes look at him with those pretty eyes of him while you suck off.

"Cutie-- I--," Rafayel moaned, lifting his hips off the sofa. His hand rests atop your head, encouragingly. Your lips circle around his weepy tip, sucking inwardly, and your tongue makes quick, furious swipes along his slit. A startled moan leaves his lips as he reaches his climax, painting the inside of your mouth white with loud, needy moans. "Fuck, fuck.. Take it all, take it all, baby.. Oh gods..!"

|| ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ʀᴇᴜꜱᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ! ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ. ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ © ᴄʜᴇʀᴜʙꜰᴀᴇ 2024 ||

[weeping-statue]

HI SORRY OMGG I DIDN'T CHECK THE IDV TAG AGAIN, Basically I like wanted to request something Smutty for weepy topping the reader 😭 like ok it sounds impossible cuz look at him he's like so submissive but maybe he can Sub top omg I'm getting into so much detail SORRY 💔💔 thank you for even considering my request, weepy barely gets content but happy he actually does get it, Hope you're having a great super day today

Anon I see the vision, I’m here for it, and I’m on it 🫡 Ty for resending it in anon, I’m an absolute mess rn cause hormones, mitski, tv girl, and modern baseball, hit way too hard ;-;

First time writing smut so.. here we go. Nice criticism is welcome!

FREAKY TIME WITH WEEPING CLOWN ❤︎

Warnings: NSFW, Sub!Top!Joker, missionary that slowly turns into mating press cause it’s my fave.. and I think that’s it?

———————————————————————-

Shlick.. Shlick.. Shlick…

Heavy panting rings in your ears, small whimpers leaving both of your lips.

Joker decided he wanted to be.. top tonight. It wasn't unusual but when you're the one to be on top most of the time, then it's a bit of a surprise.

His hands were wrapped around your thighs, keeping your legs hooked around his hips as he thrusted. Mumbling praises in between, "You look so gorgeous under me.. never wanna leave.. mhm..”

Your hand reaches into his hair, gripping it tightly to bring him into a rough kiss. This elicits a loud moan, which was silenced by your mouth in his. Drinking in his noises. Only breaking away to breathe, and say, “Doing so well, such a good boy.. You like being on top don’t you? Thinking you have more power? Does it feed into your ego knowing that no one else could have me like this? I bet..”

Joker nods whimpering at your words, his hips stuttering from the sudden pleasure your words bring. The praise and degradation to much for his foggy brain. He just can’t keep up.. “love it, love it so much.. no one else.. Mhph.. so close.. wanna cum..”

You laugh a bit at his lust drunk words and expressions. Bringing your hand away from his hair and to his neck, squeezing a bit, letting your other one graze across his chest. “You wanna cum? Well.. I believe you deserve it. Go on, bring us to the end.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. His hips slam into yours, making your back arch. He grips your thighs harder, bringing them to your chest, and spreading them open as far as possible. Giving him better access, so he get reach that spot. The one that has you seeing stars. You couldn’t tell who was louder, your head going all misty and blank. “It was so good…” he whimpers, his watery eyes, the way he was fucking you so well. It was all perfect. And it was all yours. It didn’t take long for your hands to grip onto his shoulders, hole clenching around him so tightly that it had him reaching the edge with you. His frame slumping over yours as he rode out your highs.

His forehead against yours as you mumble, “Did so well, love. Absolutely perfect, as always.”

———————————————————————-

SORRY FOR THE CUT OFF AT THE END AND IF ITS RUSHED😭 I didn’t know what to put after this.. so.. my bad 😞

Ty you for reading!

Please don’t steal my work :(

[sugar-omi]

pls cove + lactation is actually crazy... we're gonna have to come back for more bc i can't stop thinking abt it. DILF/SUGAR DADDY COVE W LACTATION..... pls i gots to go we will talk abt this LATER!!!

DAY TWELVE — LACTATION

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : drabbles, NSFW, fem/afab + bottom reader, titfucking, oral (cove receiving), mention of getting pregnant again, raw sex

synopsis : cove helps you with your full tits, he's definitely taking advantage of it. / you're not producing as much milk anymore and you can't help but tease cove about his disappointment.

"is this.. hahh- your idea of helping?" you exhale shakily.

he was supposed to be helping you apply lotion to your boobs and pump. not sucking on your nipples, lapping up your milk.

"argh- gentle." you remind him, pushing against his head.

cove pops off your nipple with a pop. you can't look away from his wet lips, his tongue darting out to lick his lips and stops groping your other breast to lick his fingers clean…

dirty bastard.

you grind your butt against his lap, his bulge right under your cunt, and he can't help but groan.

"now they're uneven…" you fret, weighing your boobs in your hands. you didn't wanna admit out loud, but cove sucking on your boobs really helped…

he licks his lips, swallowing. there's so many thoughts in his head and he can admit, they're all about your boobs.

your boobs have gotten bigger since you got pregnant and sensitive because of it.

your boobs were already big but are noticeably more sensitive, especially after nursing.

he already loved your chest but now… God he has to tear his eyes away every time because unfortunately, he can't spend all day admiring his wife's full, leaky tits.

"go ahead and say it."

"huh?" cove blinks dumbly. fuck he got lost in his thoughts again..

"say it. you're thinking something right?" you lift up your boobs, a couple trails of milk running down your hand. "you've nearly sucked me dry.. so what is it? wanna fuck my tits?"

cove bursts into a bright red blush, and pauses before he nods… "please?"

you roll your eyes, unbuckling cove's pants. "no need to beg, just c'mere and fuck me."

he rushes to tug down his pants while you get situated on the bed, beckoning him towards you.

you reassure cove he won't squish you, and to stop worrying. you reach over for the lube, pouring it over your cleavage and roughly spreading it around.

cove gapes at you, he and his cock drooling at the sight.

he swallows, his dick is throbbing at this point, and pushes your boobs together, sliding his dick between your tits.

"mm." cove moans lowly, his teeth gritted.

fuck this is hot, even you have to admit.

with every thrust his dick drags along your slippery tits, his tip poking out from your cleavage, the red, weepy tip a nice contrast with your shiny tits.

"fuck..." cove groans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your boobs. it doesn't hurt, and you thought it'd be overstimulating but it feels so good and turns you on so, so much...

he squeezes your left tit, milk spurting out from your nipple, it runs down your tit, adding onto the wet mess of lube.

cove curses, squeezing your chest again. you huff, milk running down your sides and getting on the bed sheets. you've already decided to make him clean up the mess.

admittedly, the mess is alluring. your milk coating his dick and making loud, wet squelching noises as he thrusts faster into your tits.

"fuck!"

cove curses hen you add your mouth to the mix, your lips wrapping around his tip whenever it peeks out, your tongue lapping up the mix of cum and breast milk.

"y/n... i'm gonna..." cove mumbles, humping your chest.

you hum around his tip, putting your hands over his to guide him into moving your boobs.

he throws his head back, pushing his hips up further into your mouth, your tongue lavishing it with attention and you hollow your cheeks, sucking and teasing his urethra with the tip of your tongue.

cove groans, squeezing your boobs and almost collapsing when he falls over the edge, his cum flooding your mouth and with the position you're in, some of it escapes past your lips and runs down your chin.

you let go of his ass so he can pull away. he's so enraptured by the scene though.. your tits rising up and down with your panting, his cum and your milk mixed together.

your teasing expression doesn't help, but he doesn't have enough humility to be too embarrassed..

you wipe your chin, sticking your fingers in your mouth to clean up the mess. "happy now?"

you're not producing like you used too, and now your son is on baby food.

which is good, great actually because your son is getting his teeth and apparently the lil bastard doesn't know what "ouch!" or "fuck!" means.

it's a bit unfortunate for your husband though. since he's uselessly sucking your boobs, getting maybe a few drops from your chest.

"geez, are you sure you're not the infant around here?"

cove flushes, pulling off your nipple with a pop. "shut up.."

you laugh, petting back his hair. "sorry, you just look so much like a baby."

cove rolls his eyes, thrusting up into your cunt.

"fuck!" you shout, scrambling to cling onto the pillows, trying to keep your head from hitting the headboard with the power of cove's thrusts.

"well since we're teasing each other now... i think you look cute on my dick." cove holds your thighs for leverage, enjoying how your eyes roll back and your back arches off the bed.

"y'know, river is going to need a sibling. so let me help you when you start lactating." cove leans down, dropping your legs so they're at his waist and he can thrust up into you, caging you between his arms so he can steal a kiss.

"the baby won't know what they're missing if you lactate before they're born, so indulge me a little bit.." cove purrs.

your nails drag down his back and you close the gap between you, stealing a kiss before you growl out.

"you're insufferable. stop thinking about your stomach and fuck me. in fact... maybe i'll start milking you until i'm pregnant again, that sounds fun..."

[obeetlebeetle]

tagged by @sophelstien, thank you!💜💜💜

the NO-SKIP albums: a tag game 🎶

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums. 🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules:1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

tagging @waitingforgalois, @avantguardisme, @frogndtoad, @oranges-and-pears, @phosphorusandpetra, @cardwrecks, @swordatsunset, @gideonthefirst, @owldude, and YOU

🎧 album info/track recs/my favorite lines under the cut!! ↓↓↓

🌊 hideaway / the weepies (2008)

track rec: little bird ↳brush your gray wings in my head / say what you said / say it again / they tell me I'm crazy / but you told me / I'm golden

📼 in rainbows / radiohead (2007)

track rec: weird fishes/arpeggi ↳I'd be crazy not to follow / follow where you lead / your eyes / they turn me / turn me into phantoms / I follow to the edge / of the earth / and fall off / yeah, everybody leaves / if they get the chance / and this is my chance

🌉 narrow stairs / death cab for cutie (2008)

track rec: bixby canyon bridge ↳and then it started getting dark / I trudged back to where the car was parked / no closer to any kind of truth / as I must assume was the case for you

🚗 sam's town / the killers (2006)

track rec: bones ↳we took a backroad in my car / down to the ocean / it's only water and sand / and in the ocean we'll hold hands / but I don't really like you / apologetically dressed in the best / put on a heartbeat glide / without an answer / the thunder speaks for the sky

🕕 I forget where we were / ben howard (2014)

track rec: conrad ↳oh, I loved you with the good and the careless in me / but it all goes back

🔥 heretic pride / tmg (2008)

track rec: autoclave ↳when I try to open up to you, I get completely lost / houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost / and I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn / and there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn / and I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam / and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home

🌹 violet street / local natives (2019)

track rec: when am I gonna lose you? ↳I remember you closing the shutters / and laying down by my side / and the light that was still slipping through / it was painting your body in stripes

🚪 retired from sad, new career in business / mitski (2013)

track rec: goodbye, my danish sweetheart ↳there's some kind of burning inside me / it's kept me from falling apart / and I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart / but it's kept me from falling apart / now here I lay as I wonder about you / would you just tell me what I'm meant to do? / 'cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew / you can see how it's blossomed for you

🚀 how to: friend, love, freefall / rks (2018)

track rec: mission to mars ↳we changed the format completely, cut the filler for meat / it's just blood on your TV making killings for free / the ticket lines are past the sign down at the end of the street / meet and greet, VIPs go a million a piece / we delayed the show for entry and so expired on the lease / now we're gonna re-release it, t.b.d / change the title to: fuck you / it's what you want it to be / when you know it only pay to make nice / pack your shit and standby, please / your friends are trying to leave and get high

[enam3l]

love, lola / chapter nine pt.1 / going solo (5.7k)

Eddie’s arrived in California, leaving you behind, to start his new life as a rockstar.

thank you for 1.2k of you kind angels!!!??? and thank you guys for your patience, life has been hectic with work and school and after the anniversary of eddie’s death (but not in this fic baby) i thought fuck it imma post what we got for chapter 9 - I hope it’ll all be worth the wait

a/n: sex drugs and rock and roll - no fr there is graphic sex here

series masterlist / follow #enam3l love lola for instant updates / my other work / now available to read on AO3!

comment for tag list. requests open for prequel stories.

California is too fucking hot. That is what Eddie Munson has learnt since moving. Far too hot for hair like his and definitely far too hot to stay hidden behind the safety of his leather jacket. After years of the mind numbing mundanity of Hawkins, Eddie was propelled into the fast pace L.A. mindset. Each morning for a moment his heart hammered, wondering where he was until the palm trees outside the window reminded him it definitely wasn't Indiana. The apartment the record label had set him and rest of Kraven up in was definitely not the trailer - maybe the size of every single one in the park combined.

So far, everyone had been nice; a niceness you're not usually privy to when you're known as 'The Freak'. Kraven were excited he accepted the offer and their label and manager had heralded him the hero of the hour. But a nagging part of Eddie couldn't ignore the feeling that this wasn't really his band, he was a replacement. There was a brotherhood between the bandmates long before his arrival and it's hard to ever truly assimilate with a bond like that. Regardless, he was there, escaped the confines of his small town and now living the dream of becoming a rockstar. This was always the fantasy, wasn't it?

September 2nd 1986

For the first time in his life, Eddie is sat in a real life, high tech, actual recording studio. A far cry from Gareth’s egg box insulated garage. An egg shaped chair swallows him whole which feels tediously symbolic of his time so far in California. Everything is much bigger than him. As the band and producers play him the demos they have already, with hopeful looks on their faces, he resorts to anxiously twisting the rings on his fingers. They're a tangible reminder of home. He thumbs them in order. Skull. Pig. Cross and bones. Mom's. But now there's a new edition - yours. 

It made its way onto his finger as you said your final goodbyes in the airport terminal and it hasn't left since. Between runny noses and weepy eyes, Eddie frowned as you withdrew from a hug that had already lasted several minutes (which was still not long enough). 

'I have something for you, Teddy,' you confess as you sift through your bag. 

'You already threw the party, sweetheart. Whatcha wasting money on me for?' He sighs. 

The protests were not what you wanted clearly as he's met with a silencing finger until you finally found what you were looking for. Now you chew your lip anxiously, fumbling with a little velvet pouch. 

'It's not for going away... it's - well, I gathered, this will be the first time since we met that we've not spent our birthdays together...' 

Eddie's stomach drops, he had not gathered that. 'Oh...' he murmurs.

'So, I thought I'd give you your present now. I guess. If that's okay?' 

Totally thrown, he only blinked and nodded. Taking his hand, you lay his palm out flat and shake the pouch until Eddie hears a little clinking, then feels cool metal on the skin. 

'It's the big 2-1, y'know. I wanted us to have something special. I couldn't think of anything to buy. But, I - uhhh - I could think of something to make.' 

Finally, he moves and inspects your gift closer. Two silver rings, perfectly imperfect. Carefully, he spins them round until he can finally see what the feature of them is. It causes him to gasp and you to resort to nervously stumbling over your words. 

'I was taking a silversmithing class at college and I was thinking about your rings and then I thought I could make you one. Then I thought I could make us some. Matching ones. For our birthdays. It's silly. They're not professional or anything. Y'know a little wonky. Just thought it'd be nice...'

Eddie balls his fist up, clutching the precious contents and closes his eyes to swallow up a sniffle. One ring has E for Eddie on, the other identical except for your initial. 

'Wonky? Y/N... they're perfect. This is, holy shit, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me...'

The compliment makes your insides fizz. 

'Are you sure? I mean, I was gonna tidy them up more but when you were in hospital. When I went back to New York... I brought them back with me. Just incase... y'know...'

Just incase Eddie never made it to his 21st is the unspoken ending to that sentence that you both understand. Eddie takes your hands in his and squeezes. The rings shielded by your conjoined palms. 

'Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you... put it on me! Go on! Make me your little hand model m!'

As usual, Eddie's theatrics ease the tension and force you into giggles. 

Carefully, you slide the E ring over Eddie's finger. He prompts you to place it on the bare one next to where his Mom's old ring resides. Then, he takes your hand and delicately places your own ring onto the matching finger. To the rest of the people in the airport, it must've looked like the exchanging of vows between two lovers being forced apart. Really, they wouldn't have been entirely incorrect. 

‘So what do you think man?’

Eddie breaks his daze to be met with a room of hopeful eyes. 

‘Huh?’ He murmurs. 

‘The demos!’ The manager Chris encourages, ‘for the album! These are what the guys have put down so far. Love em?’

Eddie’s brain stumbles over what will be the correct thing to say. The songs bad? God no, there was a reason the bad were signed. But were they what he would do? Not really. It was clear they were angling as more commercially marketable, less niche like metal, a more digestible rock. Taylor was more Iggy than Ozzy. 

‘Yeah, yeah they’re tight,’ Eddie scrambles, praying he didn’t appear rude. 

Already though, his brain has calculated how he would rearrange each element of the songs, what lyrics he’d tweak, how he’d make it his own - but he has to remind himself that’s not why he’s here.

‘We want a single out for Christmas. Make a big splash over the festive season. Hit the talk shows, the radios. Get you boys out there. Build up the hype for a Valentine’s album release,’ Chris cheerfully continues.   

‘But don’t forget, none of these songs are finalised,’ a rough voice from the corner of the room interrupts Chris’ ambitions. 

Riz, the producer, sits like the mastermind behind the console in his swivel chair. His skin weathered and tanned, littered with scribbled tattoos not unlike Eddie’s own. Tired eyes that have seen too many young ambitious bands and their teams come in and out of his studio, are concealed by thin tinted glasses. A mane of salt and pepper curls, some formed into dreads cascade past his broad shoulders. A real old school rocker. 

‘Oh well, yes, yes of course,’ Chris fumbles, ‘plenty of room for your inputs Eddie.’ 

It’s clear Chris is entirely intimidated by Riz’s presence. His clean cut Armani suited self a direct contrast to the producer’s rough look. One is the face, the other is the real brains.

‘Speaking of, Chris, why don’t you take Taylor, Spike and Keith to lunch. Use that gold card the label bestowed upon you whilst me and Eddie get accompanied?’

Eddie shoots round to look at Riz, used to his name being called out as the signal he’s in trouble. But when he meets his eyes, they only offer warmth and a small smirk; something Eddie had yet to see him crack so far. 

‘Oh are you sure?’

‘Yeah, yeah, lots of technical things I need to adjust now Eddie is with his. Go on,’ Riz practically shoos Chris out the door. The rest of Kraven following suit, amused by their manager’s nervous babbling. 

Finally, once the door is shut and locked, Riz returns to his throne, spinning round and looking at Eddie expectantly. 

‘Well, come on then,’ he chuckles, smacking his tattooed hand against a leather chair beside him. Eddie immediately scrambles over, Sweetheart safely in her case towing behind him. There’s an awkward silence as Eddie toys with his guitar case, desperate to avoid Riz’s piercing gaze. 

Nonchalantly, Riz swings his feet up onto a nearby stool and reclines in his chair. 

‘So… you hate the songs,’ he chuckles.

Eddie finally looks up to gawp, scrambling for a response. 

‘No, I don’t, it’s not, I never said I-‘

‘It’s cool brother. You’re a metalhead. They aren’t a metal band. They’re not your first choice, no sweat.’ 

Riz, in just a few minutes of knowing each other, has called Eddie’s bluff. The tone in his voice is not anger or judgment, it’s just matter of fact with a hint of amusement. 

‘They’re not my first choice either, sound wise. I’m a lot more old school myself, personally. But, fuck, you know what, those boys got more star power than anyone else who’s been brought to me in the last two decades.’ 

Eddie nods eagerly. There’s a reason he was honoured Kraven had asked him, they were really fucking good and most surprisingly - nice. Riz eyes the boy before him, big brown soulful eyes that scream there’s a story behind them. 

‘I think you’re an old soul like me though, Munson. Let me guess… you’ve got notebooks full of lyrics in that case of yours?’

A beetroot blush flushes Eddie’s cheeks, he’s been rumbled and stutters an agreement. 

‘And I bet you’ve never shown anyone either, huh?’

Two for two. 

‘No, never. They’re all a little… personal,’ Eddie murmurs. 

‘All the best stuff is. So what you’re gonna do is get them out and show me who the musician Eddie Munson really is.’

With an eagle eye, Riz combs through the tattered pages of scrawling lyrics. Words dating back years. The afternoon flies by as Eddie demonstrates the melodies he wrote for each with Riz adding his own input. 

‘Well, Munson. I don’t think Kraven or the label know what they’ve accidentally come across with you,’ Riz scoffs. His fingers gloss over the stacks of song lyrics Eddie’s unveiled. 

‘And you better be marrying this girl you’re writing about. Ain’t heard love songs like this in a lifetime.’ 

The way Eddie nervously shrinks in on himself over his words isn’t lost on Riz, things rarely ever are. 

September 21st 1986

‘TWENTY ONE MOTHERFUCKER’ 

Raucous laughter and cheers manage to erupt over the booming club music. The fine spray of champagne, more expensive than his trailer, soaking Eddie’s curls. The women that had crowded the booth, struggle to get in the stream of booze. Liquid gold dripping from their open mouths and exposed cleavage. No, this was not the usual Munson birthday set up.

Despite attempting to keep his twenty-first birthday a secret, Eddie had been rumbled. Chris’ assistant Sammy had discovered his impending celebration after going through files. That was spilt during bedroom talk with Spike the bass player who she’d been hooking up with. Spike then mentioned a small night with the boys to Taylor and Keith to celebrate, which was overheard by manager Chris. So now due to Chris’ inability for subtlety, the boys found themselves in an exclusive WeHo club, surrounded by bottomless bottles, scantily clad girls and yes men - all courtesy of the label. Eddie was light years away from where he’d usually spend his evenings round humble drama room DnD table or with lukewarm beers in Gareth’s garage.

After three weeks of locking themselves in the studio when the sun had begun to rise, only leaving well after, the band were finally letting loose. The guys had all told Eddie their tales of L.A’s debaucherous rock’n’roll night life; the secret places where other musicians mingled, where dealers made their money and girls got the memorable nights they went looking for. But so far, he’d yet to experience it and now he was, Eddie wasn’t sure it was for him. A rainbow of pills scattered the table without discretion, he could tell they were far better quality than the shit he used to sell. Servers came with an endless supply of bottles, money no question. A far cry from the gruff, stingy bartenders at The Hideout. The clientele is a far cry as well. The girls that had flocked to their booth looked straight off a Hollywood set. One busty blonde sat on a bewildered Chris’ knee, his eyes desperately trying not to focus on the cleavage that bobbed below his chin. Spike was making it clear he and Sammy weren’t exclusive as a brunette and a redhead sat either side of him as they purred in his ear. Taylor had disappeared into the crowd, ever the life of the party, surely feeling the effects of the pills he’d let fizzle on his tongue. Out of everyone, the only person Eddie felt envious of was Keith. 

Nestled happily in the corner of the booth sat Keith and his fiancee Grace, lost in their own little world. The pair had scoffed when a girl had tried to luck with Keith, knowing hell would freeze over before he left Grace. High school sweethearts who had made it work as he’d followed the path of wannabe rockstar. She was no eager groupie or ditzy model, Grace was a lawyer; officially Kraven’s lawyer. Put together, fierce and completely soft on Keith - reminding Eddie of you. Although, they were a real couple, best friends and lovers, exactly what Eddie had failed in making the two of you. When they whispered private jokes or sleepy appeared from their bedroom, his heart panged with envy. Mind racing with questions of how they managed to make it work. Who made the first move? How did they know it was mutual? How did they know it wasn’t a mistake? All the questions he fretted over when his lips burnt with desperation to meet yours.

Eddie’s wishful gaze is interrupted by a sudden touch to his thigh. Eyes wide with confusion, his head spins round and are met with a fluttering pair staring right back at him. The stranger’s fingers tucking rogue curls behind his ear causes Eddie to freeze. A touch too intimate to receive from anyone but you or his family. 

‘Your hair is nearly as long as mine,’ the girl drawls. Long nails still trailing up his shredded jeans and now up his exposed bicep. Whether she hadn’t noticed Eddie’s bewildered look or had just chosen to ignore it, the girl pressed on.

‘The boys told me you're the new lead guitar… I think you’re definitely an upgrade, honey.’

Eddie gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. So far he had been able to avoid interacting with these legendary California girls. Throwing himself into rehearsals with the band and his own late sessions with Riz long after the rest of the guys go home. Women weren’t on his radar. Everyone dull in comparison to the shine he knows radiates off you. 

‘Urm, thanks,’ he mumbles, trying to squirm out of her grasp.

‘And he’s a little shy?’ She giggles, ‘sooo cute.’  

Eddie’s eyes, wide like saucers, scan the surroundings rapidly, desperate to escape this uncomfortable encounter. He wasn’t interest in a hook up, the thought unimaginable and he definitely didn’t want this. He’s desperate for you more than ever now, wishing for your soft touch, wishing it was your tipsy words being whispered in his ear. His birthdays weren’t for sharing with random hookups, they were always reserved for you. After being separated by your college, Eddie was giddy at the thought of getting to spend your birthdays together again. But now you were torn apart again, now even further apart. 

Finally, Eddie spots his opening. The girl leans over to the table to pour another drink, her grip on him loosening. Quickly, he darts up, hopping over everyone’s legs and abandoning the booth as the girl calls after him. Eddie’s feet seem to take him away before his mind is even sure where he wants to go. Hand’s planting on the bar top, causing an unexpecting bartender to jump, Eddie pleas,

‘Is there a phone anywhere I can use?’

The bartender nods, finger jabbing to a corridor beside the toilets. Shouting a thanks behind him, Eddie shoots off in the direction of the promised phones. 

Frantically, he punches in a number he’s known by heart for most of his life. Ringed fingers twist round the cord anxiously and the dial tone hums over the vibrations of the club’s speakers. 

Eddie’s breath hitches as the other end picks up and fumbling can be heard. 

‘H-hello?’ Your sleepy voice croaks. 

It’s the best noise he’s heard since he arrived, better than anything he’s heard in the studio. 

‘Hi,’ he whispers shyly, ‘it’s me, it’s Eddie. I’m sorry, did I wake you?’

Your giggle makes his stomach churn. 

‘I know it’s you, Eds or should I say birthday boy? No, no, it’s okay. I was already awake.’

‘Are you okay? Are you sick?’ He enquires desperately. For a moment, Eddie is sure he hears a hesitation in your voice. 

‘No, no, I - urm, you know, just one of those nights. I’m fine! It’s nice to hear your voice.’

Eddie for once is grateful for the distance that separates you for seeing the blush that spreads across his cheeks. 

‘It’s really nice to hear yours too. I’m sorry I’ve not been keeping up with the calls, it’s all just -‘

You interrupt before he falls into a spiral of apologies. 

‘Eds, it’s fine! You’re a rockstar in training, I don’t expect you to be missing all the fun to be calling me every second.’

‘But, I want to, sweetheart… I wish you were here,’ he sighs. 

‘I wish I was too… but this your adventure. This is everything you’ve ever dreamed of.’ 

Eddie desperately wants to let the alcohol coursing through his system to take ahold of his tongue and confess no, you’re everything I’ve dreamed of. But he doesn’t. Your voice chirps up again, trying to dispel the sad silence that took over the line. 

‘So, how’s your birthday? How is being 21? Are you not out and drowning in booze and those Cali girls?’ You’re chuckling but he doesn’t laugh. 

‘No, no I’m out with the guys. But, urm, no Cali girls. Definitely not.’

Eddie’s not sure if you let out a relieved sigh or it’s just wishful thinking. 

‘You’re out?! Eddie, what on earth are you calling me for!’

Your scolding tone makes him grin. He can picture perfectly how your brows are furrowed and how if you were in front of him your hands would be flailing animatedly. 

‘Cos birthdays are our thing. You’re much better than this club full of fuckin’ posers.’

‘Yeah, they are. Am I now? Are you trying to flatter me, mister?’ 

‘Always, sweetheart.’ 

The pair of you giggle down the phone. His dimpled cheeks aching from the grin you inspire. As the giggles finally subside, Eddie hears you attempt to disguise a yawn and remembers how once again distance keeps you apart. 

‘Guess I should let you get to sleep then, huh sweet?’

‘You should go and enjoy your birthday more importantly!’

Eddie huffs, knowing such a thing is impossible without your presence. 

‘I’ll try… I’ll speak to you soon, promise.’

‘Don’t worry about it, Eds. Whenever you have time!’ 

‘I’ll always have time for you. I’ll make sure I at least call you on your birthday.’

‘You better,’ you sleepily smirk, ‘it’s two days after yours, you’ve got no excuse to forget.’

‘How could I?’

Eddie rakes a hand through his curls, knowing he needs to hang up but it’s too hard to let you go. 

‘Get some sleep, sweetheart. I miss you.’

‘Goodnight Eddie, I miss you too.’ 

The line goes dead and once again the only sound filling his ears is the throbbing base. Trying to replay your words in his head, Eddie flops against the wall. Eyes closed tight as he wishes it was you he was breathing in rather than the cloud of perfume wafting from the women’s bathroom nearby.

It’s only when he can feel a presence beside him does Eddie open his eyes. A woman mirrors his position against the wall but faces him, a wicked glint in her cat-like eyes. Taken aback by her close proximity, Eddie jumps causing her to giggle at his squirming.

‘Whatcha waiting for cutie?’

Eddie continues to shuffle away, the phone your warm voice once echoed out of, now uncomfortably sticking into his back.

‘Was just… just using the phone…’ he murmurs nervously.

‘Oh?’ she cocks her head, auburn waves tumbling, ‘and here I thought you were waiting out here for some fun.’

A slender manicured finger reaches out, tugging at a bewildered Eddie’s bottom lip. He stutters as his brain scrambles for a response. Another awkward round of full frontal flirting from random girls. The thought of supermodel groupies throwing themselves at him was somewhat appealing when he was a raging hormone of a teenager. But even then, you were still in the back of his mind on a pedestal, now you live there front and centre. Eddie recoils from her touch, swatting her hand away.

‘No!’ he surprises himself with the firmness in his voice, ‘M’sorry, not looking for anything.’

The girl scoffs a ‘whatever’, rolling her eyes and flouncing off. Just as Eddie finally feels his body relax, a snigger from the corner catches his attention. A frame steps forward from the shadows. 

A man, also in his twenties, grins an infectious smile that makes Eddie feel a little giddy. Shorter than himself, but broader, tanned muscles that glistened with sweat from dancing.

‘I think she’s a little disappointed,’ the guy chuckles.

‘I really was just using the phone!’ Eddie insists.

Gradually the two move closer towards each other, Eddie drawn in by the piercing pale eyes that never leave him. Despite the corridor being much cooler than the dance floor, heat bubbled between their bodies. 

‘So… Eddie, are you definitely not looking for any kind of fun?’

October 31st 1986

Now in the depths of autumn, the madness of life had only increased. Kraven had found their sound with the addition of Eddie, days spent mastering their sound in the studio. When out of the studio, the boys sat round meeting tables listening to suits spew corporate jargon about their mastermind ideas for selling the band. That was his least favourite part, hearing his existence and passion whittled down to money making schemes. It’s also where Eddie was forced to tackle the idea of fame. Seeing his name in small print under photographs of the band, plastered in pages of music magazines about the next hot thing. Personally, he found it mortifying but Wayne insisted it was proof of him achieving his dreams, whereas you cackled down the phone at the surrealness of it all.

At the end of the day, Eddie buried himself in sheets of paper, attempting to put into words the feelings that brewed inside. Trying to heal the internal wounds the events of the year had left, whilst being a thousand miles from the people who actually understood. Vocalising the sadness he wished he didn’t feel over achieving his dreams of making it but not with his own band. Then as ever, trying to find an outlet for the love he felt for you that bubbled with fervency in your absence and 

with every stolen phone call. Then, a couple of times a week, Eddie would present his lyrics to Riz to make sense of, during after-hours at the studio. A secret project the two of them found themselves falling into outside of Kraven. That was another source of guilt, that his heart and soul weren’t invested in the band in the same way Taylor, Spike and Keith’s were. That he reserved the heartfelt work for himself, letting his real passion erupt during the late night sessions with Riz. 

Then there was another output Eddie found for his pent up frustrations about his overwhelming emotions and suffocating new lifestyle. A way to let go in a way that didn't leave him ashamed as if he had betrayed you. The guy at the club on his 21st birthday had opened up possibilities that Hawkins had limited. Small town life was oppressive, he didn’t need the rumour mill buzzing with fresh stories that the satanist Munson was also a sodomist. Whilst Taylor and Spike drowned in girls, Eddie became comfortable seeking out something else in the bars and clubs they’d frequent. It was easier, less intimate. He didn’t need to worry about coy teasing, didn’t need to exchange names and take girls home. Eddie could find release down the back of another guy's throat, quick and hot in dark corners and back allies. He was unsure if his bandmates had realised and was anxious that they’d reject him for it but that was another issue forced to the back of his mind, stored in another box overflowing with anxieties. 

Halloween was decided as a good marketing angle for the band. Their name added to the line up of hot new rock bands performing at an infamous West Hollywood Halloween party. Something thrown by a record executive’s tabloid covering daughter that had become notorious enough to be spoken about on MTV. Eddie being no stranger to a costume and outlandishness being second nature to Taylor, the pair had put themselves in charge of putting together the band’s costume. 

‘This is pretty hardcore you guys,’ Spike admitted, ‘didn’t think you’d pull it off.’

The four cramped into a backstage room at the venue, getting ready for their performance. Eddie’s tongue stuck out in concentration as he finished painting Spike’s body. All four of them were skeletons. Leather trousers and boots embellished with white paint, creating the illusion when on stage they were void of flesh. Their torsos mostly exposed aside from frankly decorative scraps of leather. Spike in long leather sleeves that covered wrist to arm and left the entirety of his chest exposed. Eddie and Keith both in tight leather waistcoats. Then Taylor, naturally, entirely topless aside from some leather wrist cuffs and mask that made him appear as a devilish gimp. All exposed skin had bones painted on top which was now Eddie’s current job. 

‘Of course we did,’ Taylor boasts, ‘you really doubted our little DnD nerd’s ability to put together a costume?’

Eddie splatters paint in the singer's direction. Even if they weren’t his friends from home, his band mates had become real friends. Their bantering is interrupted by the door opening and a fallen angel with a clipboard appearing. 

‘You guys gotta be outta here in like a minute, the band on stage are wrapping up and you’re next.’ Her sentence is finished with a pop of her bubble gum and the slam of the door.

After final adjustments to the costumes, the boys file out to the side of the stage. Eddie’s chipped black nails gripping at the neck of his guitar. The usual pre-show jitters causing his stomach to flutter. 

‘You good brother?’ Keith whispers, a reassuring firm hand bracing Eddie’s shoulder. 

‘Yeah, yeah, all cool, I mean y’know aside from usual pre-show nerves,’ he shrugs. Keith nods with understanding, spinning his sticks - a nervous tick Eddie has come to notice. 

‘Damn, you better at this fuckin rockstar shit than me. My heart feels like it’s about to fall out my god damn asshole knowing who’s in that audience!’

Quirking an eyebrow, Eddie warily responds,

‘What do you mean… who’s here?’

Keith’s eyes bulge at his bandmate’s obliviousness. 

‘Holy shit, you got no gossip rags in that little town of yours? This party is infamous. It’s some real Motley Crue as shit out there. Full of rockstars fuckin heiresses n shit! Little Miss Clipboard said mother fucking Slash is here!’

Before Eddie can even clear his now dry throat to respond, the sound system booms with the excited announcement of the MC.

‘Next up is rock’s hottest new band… Kraven!’

The cheers are muddled by the ringing in Eddie’s ears, his body seized up until Spike nudges him along. With a gulp, he steps out into the spotlight, trusty axe in one hand whilst the other spins the ring you made him. 

Dripping sweat causes the paint to bleed down Eddie’s exposed skin. Unsteady hands grab one of the bottles of whiskey thrusted upon them once the band exited the stage and merged into the party. Eddie’s ear’s still buzzed with the raucous applause and hollering that erupted once Kraven finished their set. Immediately after they were mobbed by names he’d read on the backs of cassettes he couldn’t afford in record stores. Producers, lyricists and fellow musicians, all congratulating and praising him - Eddie the freak Munson, the kid who grew up awkward, poor and unwanted. The change of pace in his life was surreal; after a lifetime of critical fails, he’s been rolling nat20s. 

A soft evening breeze provides Eddie with as much needed respite as California weather can. The surrealness of inside was getting to him. Skin sticky from sweat induced by the growing crowd of important people with his name on their tongue. His name. Eddie Munson.

‘Eddie Munson?’

It takes a moment for Eddie to realise that voice wasn’t coming from inside his head. A few feet before him, leaning against the roped barrier a guy peers with his head cock. Soft flopping quaff falling into his curious eyes. A cowboy. Blue wash denim waistcoat with nothing underneath exposing taught tanned muscles. A tanned cowboy hat pushed back so it hangs off the back of his neck.

‘Uh, yeah, yeah… can I help you?’ 

The guy shrugs, hands sliding into the back pockets of tight jeans and rocking on the balls of his cowboy boots. 

‘Nope. Just thought it was you. Saw you perform, you were great. More talented than most of these rockstars,’ he scoffs.

‘Oh, I - I don’t know about that. Thanks, I guess,’ Eddie fumbles over his words, eyes focused downwards at those damn cowboy boots.

With a chuckle the guy responds, now daring to move forward, strong hand adjusting Eddie’s waistcoat. 

‘See, you just proved me right. Most of those guys would’ve agreed and definitely wouldn’t thank me…’ 

His fingers brush over Eddie’s jittering own. 

‘Need a light for that?’

He pulls up Eddie’s hand that holds a long forgotten cigarette that remained unlit. Gulping, he nods. The mystery cowboy draws nearer, a zippo and a cigarette for himself materialising from inside the waistcoat. 

‘I’m Max by the way,’ he smiles as he takes Eddie’s cigarette and places it into his agape mouth for him.

‘I’m Eddie…’

‘I know, babe,’ Max whispers, his own cigarette in his mouth now.

The tips of both cigarettes almost kiss as the distance closes between the two men. The zippo crackles alight, the flame illuminating a pair of wide chocolate eyes staring at a charming pair of green, both sets of pupils dilated. 

‘Holy fuck, I knew you were big. Could see it on stage in that tight ass leather,’ Max groans. Metal scrapes on marble as Eddie Munson’s ringed fingers grip at a bathroom countertop as the man he met moments ago pumps his aching cock. Finally the tension built up inside him from the pressure of the evening was on the brink of dissipating. Huffs of air escape his mouth as Max drops to his knees, long tongue flicking at the drip of precum. 

‘Knew you’d taste good as well,’ he smirks.

‘God damn, shit,’ Eddie pants as warm lips caress his tip, he struggles to contain himself. His hand lunges out, grabbing at Max’s soft locks. ‘Shit, my balls, suck my fucking balls.’

Pliant, Max does as he’s told, firm balls popping into his mouth causing wild bush to prickle at his face. After a few luxurious sucks, he’s hauled back to his feet and Eddie’s previously shaking hands are nowhere to be seen as he swiftly unbuttons denim.

‘I can’t be the only one to play show and tell.’ 

Eddie smirks as he watches green eyes flicker in bliss as his fat cock is released from its denim cage. Tanned to match Max’s toned body with a pretty pink head, fair pubes trimmed neatly. A real pretty boy. 

‘No wonder you were so confident,’ Eddie chuckles, ‘knew you had that ready and loaded, huh?’

Max whimpers now he’s the one to receive relief from another’s hand. Eddie tugs his chin to force eye contact. Only a moment can they maintain contact before both men are chest to chest, jerking the other off, a mess of precum leaking between them. Open mouths and tongues flickering at each other, spit swapping. It’s dirty and hot and far too filthy for this fancy carpeted bathroom.

Pushing aside a wail of pleasure, Max uses a free hand to fumble inside his waistcoat until he brandishes a foil square. Eddie arches a brow.

‘Jesus, just, just fuck me before I cum,’ Max pleads. 

The desperation makes Eddie snigger but it’s mutual. 

Quickly, the man is bent over the counter, ass exposed as Eddie’s warm spit drips down. Groans echo as his thumb circles over Max’s tight hole, slipping in as both men’s dicks twitch in suspense.

‘P-please, fuck me,’ he grunts.

‘Alright, alright. You ready cowboy?’

Moans echo off the tiles as Eddie eases into Max’s asshole. The pair’s eyes meet in the mirror they face until he tops out and his head drops into denim. After a moment, Max begins to wriggle beneath, fucking himself on Eddie’s cock until the message is received. Eddie braces himself, fingers digging into hip bone as he begins to drag his length in and out. 

Eventually the air is thick with heat and the sound of skin on skin. Full balls slapping against each other. A ringed hand against a plush asscheek. Feral groans and whines of pleasure. So loud that no head is turned when the bathroom door bursts open.

‘What the fuck is this shit?!’ A new voice booms off the tiles.

Eddie and Max’s heads snapped round to the figure in the doorway. The pair caught, trousers round their ankles and Eddie balls deep in a stranger. The image is too incriminating to be anything other than it was. He was exposed and the sweat from the impending orgasm now runs cold. There was no hiding.

-----

damn who tf at the door? my man didnt even get to nut in the hot cowboy

tag list: @tlclick73 @probablyin-bed @fangirling-4-ever @booksarekindaneat @azydrateanatomy @sadbitchfangirl @fluffybunnyu @big-ope-vibes @beam86 @midnightsgetawaycar @stevieharringtonswife

[deerfests]

Tagged by @phenanthreneblue (Thank you and much love!)

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? By given name-- no. By chosen name-- I stole it off a guy who wasn't using it. Does that count?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Don't remember, I easily get weepy over wholesome content for some reason, though, so might have seen a rescue video of a dog and cried last week. (Alu stop sending me them, I'm weak).

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Heavens, no! And if I'm lucky, I never will!

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? Outside of physical education, I haven't participated in any game-like sport. Took swimming and karate classes as a kid, if that's anything.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? I do, not all the time, but often enough.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Ah, I guess in real life I notice their hair and face first if I'm getting introduced to somebody or talking to somebody. If I'm just passing somebody on the bus or outside, I try not to look at them...

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR? I think they're blue, but they always gave me the impression of being more gray. Apparently that's a rare eye color, so likely not.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? [chanting] scray movies, scary movies--

ANY TALENTS? None that I'm aware of, but back when I played the keyboard, my instructor insisted I had a talent for it. I think she was being nice, however.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? I could say, but since my country is this small I'm gonna opt out to say "some country in Europe, most people barely have heard of"

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Writing and doodling. Occasionally, I enjoy making videos, but I've never gotten decent enough at that. Sad, because I have ideas for them.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Everyone knows Winston! If they don't, I have a dog named Winston. Hello.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 161cm, and the internet tells me that's 5ft3. I'm relatively short. If I ever meet the guy whose name I stole, I'm gonna look like a garden gnome.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT? I'm no longer in school, so this feels redundant as a question. I think I mostly enjoyed maths and biology in school until the teachers got more obnoxious about hating their jobs in high school... I used to want to be a forensics scientist back then.

DREAM JOB? I would love to write for a living, but that's not likely. Especially with the whole preferring my second language over my native one thing.

TAGGING feel free to steal, I have no idea who to tag.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Heyyyy I got so sick last night for no reason like the kind of sick where you can fall asleep sitting up and all you wanna do is lay under a fan and tears just like fall from your eyes out of nowhere lmaooo could you possibly write a short little blurb of Eddie taking care of a sick weepy reader bc I neeeeeddd him no pressure at all tho plz ignore if you don't want too <3

I wrote this as soon as I could I am so sorry that you were so sick, I hope you feel better love <3 Thank you for requesting this I hope it helps

Eddie got a call when it all started, "Ed's...I need you" you beg softly and weakly. You've never felt this awful before and honestly, you don't know what is going on around you. For the past twenty minutes, you've just been laying still on the floor next to your standing floor fan.

Eddie has never been one to drive safely but by the grace of god, he is shocked that he didn't get pulled over or killed by how he was driving after getting that phone call from you. It's been only four months since the two of you have gotten together but the years of friendships before that make him know how you are as a person and you aren't one to beg for help. When he pulls up to your place he leaps to the front door and storms in. "Where are you? What's wrong?"

He is rushing around in a panic without even taking a breath, the only thing on his mind is trying to find you. A very pitiful whine comes from your room, his heart breaks hearing how sickly you are, he rushes to your room and he whimpers at the sight before him. "Oh my darling, come on let me get you into bed the floor can't be that comfy for you." You just moan in agreement and let him move you off the floor.

He gets you into the bed and you sink into the softness of your mattress, you feel Eddie's hands softly touching your face and neck and he feels the temperature you so clearly have. "I'm going to go get a nice cool rag for you, I'll be right back" He moves quickly but carefully just in case you have a headache and are sensitive to any sudden sounds. He returns shortly after leaving and with your eyes closed you don't notice his presence but he does notice more about you at this moment.

You seem so weak, your body is caving into itself and it's killing him to see. You are much paler and...is that tears? "Darling?" he softly whispers and he's shocked to see that you respond with how quiet he was. You open your eyes slightly and the tears are confirmed but it's like you're not even noticing them. "My darling what do you need me to do" He is begging to know how to make this all go away, if he could he would snap his fingers and take this all away from you, he would take your place in a heartbeat if he could. You reach out to him weakly and just moan his name so obviously sick.

He moves to the bed but before getting in next to you he turned on your fan on the highest setting. When he gets into the bed he softly moves you to be laying on his chest and he holds you as close as he can. "You just relax now, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere darling. Let me take care of it all" You nod against his chest before quickly falling asleep to the sound of his soft heartbeat. In your sleep you hear a soft whisper pass his lips, "I love you more than anything I'll always take care of you"

if you enjoyed please reblog

Tagging: @b-ritney @thefreak0fhawkinshigh @tiannasfanfic @zestychili @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @eiightysixbaby

[rockitmans]

Hey my main man. AO3 wrapped: 3, 16, 18?

Hey bumble bee! Thanks <3

3. What work are you most proud of regardless of kudos/hits?

Really anything I wrote in the latter half of the year because this year was not kind for my mental health. I'm finally bouncing back now but the passion was lacking for a lil while there.

I'm gonna say Sleep Tips for the Chronically Nocturnal. I put a lot of pressure on myself to write it because it was for an event but I was in the midst of an awful break up, had covid for a week of it, was on vacation with my niece for another and had to put all energy into being fun uncle Sully. Every time I started writing, I hated it. I fully scrapped what I was writing several times - just everything felt against me in the moment.

But then I started it in the guise it exists now and finally I was able to capture the fun that I was looking for and it was actually quite a cathartic writing experience in the end. I was literally a little weepy at the nice comments on it. For a short fic, I felt like I had conquered Everest.

16. What is your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

I don't even have to check to know it's humour! If there is anything consistent in my writing, it's the goofball energy and banter as a love language.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

There's a few characters I tend to stay away from writing. Finn, I have a complicated relationship with. Brittany has such wonky characterisation in the show, I often find her hard to capture on page. She's a character I don't vibe with personally as well so it usually makes it not feel worth the effort. And then Mercedes I would love to write more of because I adore her, but I just never seem to capture her voice well.

[danpuff-ao3]

Fic Stats Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thanks for the tag, @lumosatnight (x)!!

Normally I hide all AO3 stats using a site skin, but I figured for the sake of a tag game (which I can never resist) I could pull the skin down to take a looksy! But I'm noting this as a reminder to fellow creators that if you get in your head about the numbers, there is a way to hide them and it helps a lot once you get used to it!

⭐️ Most Hits ⭐️

Daddy Knows Best (Snarry, E, 2k) - this fic has BEEN at the top of my hits for a WHILE and I am 0% surprised to find it still there. Fun fact but the Top 5 fics for hits are all part of my Yes Daddy series. The people love Daddy, even if they don't wanna admit it! 😆

⭐️ Second Most Kudos ⭐️

...Daddy Knows Best again 😂 Oddly the # 1 spot is: Daddy's Boy (Snarry, E, 1k). The Top 5 for kudos only 3 of 5 are from Yes, Daddy haha! The other 2 are Obscene (at # 3) and Contempt (at # 5).

⭐️ Third Most Comments ⭐️

The Curse of Anteros (Snarry, E, 52k) - omg!!!! A fic that's been out all of a month is already in the Top 3 for comments! I am beyond thrilled that reception has been so good so far. I am oh so pleased with the story and so so glad others are loving it with me! Number two for comments is my other longer fic The Best Kept Secrets, but I'm VERY proud (and honestly a bit weepy) that my number one fic for comments is CONTEMPT. My precious baby!!!! Sorry I feel like I'm defeating the purpose of this game but idc. Two of my favorite stories I've written in the Top 3 for comments???? Heck yeah!!!!

⭐️ Fourth Most Bookmarks ⭐️

The Christmas Prince (Snarry, T, 13k) - idk why I'm so surprised by this one, as it's always done pretty well bookmarks-wise! I'm so fond of this story, as it's one I worked hard on to be both fluffy while staying true to Snarry, which I feel is quite the feat! (Also I must point out that Contempt makes # 1 for my bookmarks list, too!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!)

⭐️ Fifth Most Words ⭐️

Contempt (Snarry, E, 20) - oh hey Contempt made the list! You know, in a real way and not me sneaking it in because I can't help but squeal seeing how well it's done. Even if this particular category is less performance-based...oh well! This fic is my heart and soul, my pride and joy, but I've probably talked about this one enough haha! For the curious, Devotion (its companion piece) is number 4 for words and it pleases me to see them side by side!

⭐️ Least Words ⭐️

Valentine's Victor (Snarry, G, 46) - ....I forgot I posted this one LOL. I wrote it for a House of Snarry (@houseofsnarry) drabble game earlier this year and on a whim decided to throw a bunch of my entries for that game on AO3. This work is silly but I had fun with it! And is a nice connection to a community I love! 💖

Tagging (no pressure): @lizzy0305, @perverse-idyll, @writcraft, @fleetingdesires, @givereadersahug, @likelightinglass, @babygray, @sweet-s0rr0w, @tackytigerfic, @wolfpants, @greenmegsnoham, & anyone else who wants to play!

[holocene-sims]

15 oc questions!

i was tagged by @stargazer-sims - thank you so much!! ❤️ i've never done one of these tags in a character's voice, so it's fun to get extra practice writing as them 😊

i'll tag:

@dandylion240 @bl-sims-anime @idyllicephemera @elderwisp @nectar-cellar @minty-plumbob @crazykissim @mangosimoothie & anyone else who wants to do it!

ANYWAY i'm doing this for grant! idc if y'all have heard enough about grant, the honor goes to him

are you named after anybody?

my actual legal first name is joseph, which is my grandfather's name! so, uh, somehow yes, i am named after somebody! but i'm 99.9% sure it was out of laziness and not out of love. well, no, i'm 100% sure of that. it's not like my mom has ever respected her parents...but that's a whole different thing, we're not going there.

when was the last time you cried?

i'm a crybaby, come on! i'm known for being very emotional. i mean, sad animal commercials make me weepy. externally weepy. like tears running down my cheeks weepy. but the actual last time i cried? hmm, maybe like a week ago? i don't know if i could tell you why, though. i probably blocked it out of my memory! i'm great at that.

do you have kids?

do, uh, do cats count? because i do have a cat who i love and put sweaters on. sweaters! and he loves it.

do you use sarcasm?

it depends? sarcasm usually feels mean-spirited to me, so i'm not super into it, but then again, that's half the conversations i have with my family. i know in that case, though, that it's all bullshit humor and not serious. anyway, i think what i'm saying in a roundabout way is it depends a lot on context and audience. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be a dick. i like being nice.

what's the first thing you notice about people?

okay, listen, in the most normal and not at all weird way possible, people's hairlines are always what i see first. i've been the first witness to so, so many fake blondes accidentally showing their dark roots or to dudes going bald. i'm sorry! i'm just freakishly tall! i can't not look down at all your heads unless i'm kneeling down on the ground. i'm not trying to spy on or judge the state of your hair, i promise.

what's your eye color?

brown! justice for brown eyes, the best eye color. i love being able to go out in the sun and not have my eyeballs bleached by the light. also, there's really not that many brown eyes in my family, so that's kind of fun. i'm a special boy.

scary movies or happy endings?

why not both? i love a good blair witch project, final destination moment. i also love a nice mushy gushy romantic movie with a happy ending. hell, i'd watch both in the same evening. start off with a fucked up horror movie and end it with pride and prejudice. sounds like a perfect night to me.

any special talents?

probably not anything relevant? i mean, i've played skyrim on survival mode without dying before. oh, and i guess back when i was still playing hockey, uh, a decade ago, i could score with the michigan goal pretty easily, which isn't all that common. in high school, i got my school the state championship win with that skill. but meh, i don't know how many people in the world know enough about hockey to care about that.

where were you born?

michigan! the part everyone forgets about, aka the upper peninsula, aka diet canada.

what are your hobbies?

i like to think i'm a well rounded person. i enjoy the super basic stuff like listening to music, but i'm also into into video games and tabletop RPGs like d&d. cooking and baking are fun for me, too. i did get into art semi-recently as well. i kind of had to have something i could do while laying down, like, 24/7 after i had spinal surgery.

if you're ever bored, just go fuck up your spine. you'll have SO much time on your hands to get new hobbies. actually, don't. please don't. i've been suffering for years and will continue to. i'm dying. don't be me. pretty please. pinky promise.

oh, duh, i also forgot that i'm into astronomy and um, planes. look, i'm not a car guy, i'm a plane guy. that's more fun, right?

have you any pets?

he's a cat named turtle, so, like, you know, the best cat in the world. sometimes i think about getting him a cat friend to hang out with but then i worry he'd get jealous, so i haven't done it. who am i to say whether or not he wants to live with a friend? or a sibling? being alone is so valid. i respect that.

what sports do you play/have you played?

oh, well, like i said, i played hockey for a really long time, like from, hmm, i think kindergarten and on! i even got a scholarship in college to play hockey. i'm glad to be done, though. some things ruined it for me. long story. but these days, uhh, i don't play any real sports anymore. i like hiking, you know, and i do work out at least every other day because it makes me feel better in a lot of ways, but that's kind of it. my sports days are over. i don't even skateboard anymore and i used to do that all the time.

how tall are you?

like 6'7" - though, i am rounding down a little bit. yes, down. not up. also, don't ask me how i ended up that tall. i have exactly one relative who is also tall. hi, chelsea! anyway, i am an accident or one hell of a joke. i'm laughing, i swear. it's very funny.

favorite subject in school?

i was overall a good student because i studied pretty hard but i was for sure a science and math kid. i loved physics in high school. and then in college, i got some way more fun science and math classes. just so you know, i am really holding back right now from rambling like a total nerd loser about my college classes...

but i mean, if you wanna learn about, i don't know, quantum mechanics or flight control systems, hit me up.

dream job?

that's such an easy question! when i was really, really young, i wanted to be a weather man, but then i changed my mind and wanted to be a pilot because, i don't know, i hit that time in every child's life where they have to become obsessed with a form of transportation. but then i never let that obsession go. my parents wanted me to be a doctor the whole time, though, but eww, no, i'm good. anyway, the dream of flying planes never died and somehow it worked out. now if i could just, uh, you know, go back to that job soon, that'd be sick.

[racingliners]

Helmet Watch 2023

So, I had way too much fun rating all the team’s liveries this year (if you missed any of it you can find my thoughts here), so much so that I’ve decided to rate all the driver’s helmets as well! (I’ve also had a helmet tag on my blog pretty much ever since I got back into watching F1 because I just love how much effort gets put into each drivers helmet design... and I’m a Seb fan. Stanning helmet designs is in my blood by default)

Under a read more bc we have A LOT to get through! (Listed in alphabetical order by surname bc that just felt the best way to organise it)

Alexander Albon (Williams)

Starting off very, very strong. I LOVE the blue and red pairing, it looks so clean but so eye catching at the same time. And the stripes of the Thai flag is a really nice touch. I’m not sure why there’s the odd flash of light blue though?? It kinda feels like an afterthought.

8.5/10

Fernando Alonso (Aston Martin)

I do like the colour scheme, it just feels a tad busy with all the various stripes. But it is a really nice update to his traditional helmet design. I wish the Aston Martin wings were in the darker blue though, they would stand out so much better.

6.5/10

Valtteri Bottas (Alfa Romeo)

I do love me a mix of metallic finishes. The colour scheme as a whole is also top tier, the softer metallic blue with the more glittery charcoal, paired with the crème white is excellent. The overall design is super clean and looks really slick, his partner Tiffany who designed it did a really nice job!!

8/10

Pierre Gasly (Alpine)

CHROME MY MOST BELOVED!!!

I really liked his Monaco helmet last year and his design for this year is almost as good. I am obsessed with mixed finishes so the chrome on the crème white base it so nice, I like the pops of red, and the thin French flag going down the middle is a nice touch.

9/10

Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes)

So so so so much yes. There’s just SO MUCH I love about his 2023 design. Echoing his original helmet design with the yellow, but mixing in the purple from recent years. And the subtle rainbow gradient lines are so pretty and so perfect. And it looks gorgeous with the black Merc livery, which is always an excellent plus.

10/10

Nico Hulkenberg (Haas)

You know what... I really like it. The paint splatter effect is so pretty, I don’t recall seeing it on a helmet before and I think it looks great! It helps that there’s three different shades of orange to give some dimension. I am also obsessed with the glittery metallic purple. It works really well with the orange, and as it’s a warm-toned it should look somewhat coherent with the red in the Haas livery.

8.5/10

Charles Leclerc (Ferrari)

Not gonna lie, I got major Schumi vibes when I saw this. Which did make me every so slightly weepy, but he has made it slightly his own with the addition of the Monaco flag. It’s really simple, but it works. But like so much of F1 this year I really wish it was glossy instead of matte.

7/10

Kevin Magnussen (Haas)

Gotta respect the consistency Kevin has had with his helmet design since 2014. The colour scheme is also great, it’ll look really nice with the Haas livery, and stand out against his team mate’s (always nice to be able to tell the difference, looking at you 2013 yellow helmet Brocedes). I’m not overly wowed, but I also don’t hate it, it’s a really solid design.

7/10

Lando Norris (McLaren)

F1 teams take note bc THIS is how you make exposed carbon work!. The design feels properly thought out, so it doesn’t feel like anything is missing, as opposed to a few of the car liveries this year. And like Lewis’ helmet with the Merc livery, the simple two colour palette looks so good. Probably my favourite helmet design of Lando’s thus far.

9/10

Esteban Ocon (Alpine)

Yes. Absolutely no notes. Excellent work. Bloody gorgeous.

10/10

Sergio Perez (Red Bull)

It’s ever so slightly busy, but I still do like it!! The white and grey is the perfect base for all the bright pops of colour, and the pattern is very funky. Honestly it’s the Red Bull logo that lets it down for me with the different shade of yellow. If it was the same chartreuse as the accents it would look really good. 

7/10

Oscar Piastri (McLaren)

I have mixed feelings about this one. One the one hand I love how bright and colourful it is (unlike the MCL60) and I think the colour scheme is really fun (peep the silver holo!!). On the other, the design and layout feels a little too busy. However I do think it will still look really nice with the car, and as always bonus points for not being matte.

6.5/10

George Russell (Mercedes)

I LOVE the shade of blue George picked, it’s really bright which will go really well with the black livery. Though it does remind me of the 2014 Malaysia helmet that Lewis never got to use (which, after 9 years, I’m still mad about) which colour scheme wise I definitely prefer. Overall it’s another super clean design which isn’t too simple that it looks plain.

7.5/10

Carlos Sainz Jr (Ferrari)

I find it a bit wild that Carlos and Fernando have done updates of their classic designs in the same year. Anyway, the geometric pattern is fun! It does make it look a lot more dynamic than just flat lines, though the black feels a bit jarring and out of place to me. I can only assume it’s to differentiate from Charles’ all red helmet.

6/10

Lance Stroll (Aston Martin)

Lance is once again staying true to the AM brand and I’m honestly not that mad about it. As a British Racing Green enthusiast I loooooove the base colour, especially bc it’s both glossy and has a super subtle sparkle to it!!! The Aston Martin wings looks great solid as opposed to an outline, but for me they’re a bit too big. And I’m not really sure why there’s a blue outline on the top, white or silver would have looked more coherent.

7.5/10

Yuki Tsunoda (Alpha Tauri)

I looooooooove this design so much!!! It’s so different, which I always appreciate, and I always enjoy it when a driver pays homage to their home country/heritage. I should add that we have a Japanese Maple tree in our garden (which is what the leaves are) and using different colour leaves is so so so pretty. I wish he had been able to put the Alpha Tauri logo in a different colour to make it look more coherent. 

9/10

Nyck de Vries (Alpha Tauri)

I really like the colour scheme on this one, incorporating hints of Dutch orange into the navy and white AT colour scheme works so well, and I also like the flashes of lighter blue. And I especially love the slivers of silver holo, I just wish there was a tad more to contrast against the matte finish.

7.5/10

Max Verstappen (Red Bull)

Obviously, I do have my Seb fan bias of there only being one superior ‘white helmet with driver’s flag colours’ design, but this does look nice. It’s really clean, and unlike Perez’s the Red Bull logo feels like it fits in with the design much better. But, I do feel like it could use a little jazzing up, maybe making the dark blue stripes a glossy metallic.

6.5/10

Zhou Guanyu (Alfa Romeo)

Lad is really going for the paddock fashionista title and I respect that. I adored his porcelain design at Abu Dhabi, so the ode to that around the visor is really cool (peep the smidge of silver holo, more of that please!!). I like that it’s an overall warm toned colour palette that should complement the red and black Alfa well. It’s so bright and I think it will really stand out at both day and night races.

8.5/10

[thestarfishdancer]

tagged by the delightful @shineyma - thanks for the tag, it's nice to have fun things to think about!

name: Myranda. Often misspelled, most recently as Moiranda by the Starbucks barista who asked "Is is Mir?" and got the reply, "Myr, actually, but it doesn't matter!" and yet neither of those were used!

pronouns: she/her

where do you call home: Northern Canada. Yellowknife, if you need more pinpointing but honestly I usually just get ??? after that so... Northern Canada. Above the 60th parallel Northern.

favorite animal: Like @shineyma who tagged me, also tiger! I like the way they stalk about and their stripes. I also like dolphins though.

cereal of choice: I actually rarely eat cereal! When I do, I tend to weirdly like the "boring" grownup granola kind I would have turned my nose up at as a kid.

visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner: Some combo of auditory and visual, not entirely sure. I can remember a lot from what I hear without notes, but I also recollect a lot of what I see/read, so...

first pet: A couple of tetra fish.

favorite scent: A light floral jasmine.

do you believe in astrology: I think anything that you can use to help discover more of yourself is interesting and that there's validity to it. I read my horoscope now and again to see what resonates, but really I can take it or leave it.

how many playlists on spotify/apple music: Several! I love exploring playlists, but I'm also lazy. Periodically I made a new one for myself or do one for a friend, but when making a "real" playlist I'm also obsessed with the flow being JUST RIGHT so they take forever (though I do also have "dump songs in playlists". My friend Emily makes incredible playlists though. She used to live above me when we both lived in a different building, and once there was music playing loudly and I messaged her and was like, 'hey, what are you playing???" and she was all "I'm sorry, I'll turn it down!" and I was like, "No! I'm not complaining, I am chilling to this hard!" So she burned me a couple of CD (this was like 10 years ago) of the playlists she'd made: "Love Songs For Lonely Foxes" inspired by the foxes by hour house and "I Miss Pear Crisp". She still sends me an excellent playlist now and again. Here's one: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3d0aHp9eEttSA1GZ1E8lcp?si=e1bd2c36dfc14869

sharpies or highlighters: Sharpies, but only for writing the address on packages. I like pens with really fine tips.

songs that make you cry: I can't really think of any that make me cry on my own. Music on its own not yet a tear trigger for me.

songs that make you happy: So many. I just love discovering new music. Or old music. I was Teamsing with an HQ colleague lately about The Rigs, The Civil Wars, The Weepies being a vibe I like, so thinking of those artists is making me happy lately!

do you write/draw/create: I do write, though I haven't been lately. I have been taking on some editing projects outside my day job. BUT my best friend and I did write and publish a kids' book this year, and we're both off in September (she's a constituency assistant so our territorial election means no job in September, so I planned some Leave With Income Averaging to coincide) so we are going do a writer's retreat for just over a week together to work on more... then I'll be hanging around BC for a few more weeks on my own to get inspired by the ocean and work on some of my own writing. Hopefully the Muse will appreciate the setting and become a little more activE

tagging but no pressure: @dresupi, @meghan84, @treaddelicately, @sapphireglyphs, @ANYONE who wants to! My brain is too tired to tag more! I'm an old potato who slept poorly, and needs to get a few more braincells back to rub together.

[divine-misfortune]

in the wake of hate anon(s), im gonna spread a bit of love and appreciation 🥰

hii!!! youre so nice and your art is beautifull!! i love the style and the colors and everything else!! also i remember us just crazily reblogging hypnone‘s posts talking about bassists and basses!! thank you for that bcs its very memorable to me, and for making ghumblr a safe space too!!

never stop being you and never stop doing whatever it is you love 🤗 i promise to support and love it and catch up with reblogging soon!!

Sorry I need a moment you got me all weepy wtf!!!!!

That means so much to me, honestly thank you 🥺 I'm self conscious about my art a lot of the time but I cherish literally every comment and tag people leave on my posts !! Makes me happy to see people enjoying the things I do, that goes for writing too-

But also.....Ehehe bass nerd gang huh.....

[thousand-winters]

HELLO HELLO I just found and read "So, what was your name again?" on AO3 while surfing the Darius Adopts Hunter tag, and I am IN LOVE WITH IT.

I love how each chapter focused on a different character's interactions with Hunter and just their thoughts in general — the way Willow resolves to be strong for her friends, Camila taking care of Hunter (mother figure Camila!! Even if she doesn't adopt him I do love her being Hunter's soft-launch to parental affection, because the Titan knows Belos was a dickwad to him), the way Luz derailed her own (vaguely self-destructive) plans to sit with Hunter, Gus and Hunter being brothers, Amity and Hunter having a stilted but slowly mending friendship. All of these were so damn good!!!

And the last chapter was so sweet and comforting and homely that I could practically feel Darius's affection myself. I read that chapter twice. It's stunning. I love that the kids were all willing to take Hunter in if he had nowhere to go (but he did!!!!) and how Darius was sorely tempted to mirror Hunter's muffled screaming. Actually just Darius being embarrassed in general, because I love his dynamic with the other rebels (Eda/Raine/Eber) and the Aladarius rivalry going strong as always (those two will never not be funny).

Especially Uncle Eber!! I love that Eber and Darius are brothers. I live for Dadrius fics in general but when Eber gets included in their family it just makes the fic 1000 times better. Eber's gonna be the best uncle ever, eat that Belos (not that the bar was very high but STILL).

Anyway there is so much more I want to say about this but it's starting to escape me and I'd read the last chapter again to recall all the details but that would take me very long (there are MANY details that I love) and I have like three overdue assignments.

tl;dr I loved your fic!!!

I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to find a gif of Eda being weepy after King hands her the adoption papers to express my feelings about this and didn't succeed so I need you to picture that 😭

Oh, right! Hello there!! 💖🥺 This is such a sweet message, thank you so much for taking the time to come here and share your thoughts, I was filled with joy as soon as I saw this

First of all, I think it's the oldest Dadrius fic I have there? So it surprises me whenever someone comments on it or such. A good surprise, of course! And this is exactly that, so thank you so much 💕

I had such fun with the different chapters so I'm glad those were fun to read as well! I was so worried about the Darius chapter tho, haha. That was my first time ever writing him, damn, it's been a while. I'm just happy it came out nicely, and I'm flattered that you read it twice 🥺

Oh, Eber and Darius are so siblings in my heart, haha. Well, Dana did say they were like that too, so I was definitely always rooting for Eber as an uncle/co-parent. My uncl-Eber agenda that has grown quite nicely after WAD 🧡 So happy to see everyone embracing the little creecher as part of the family

This was such a sweet message!!! I already said so, but it bears repeating, I'm genuinely grateful you took the time to write this 💖💖💖 And I hope you had luck with those assignments!!!

Have a lovely day 💖

[cwarscars]

Han, my dear, if it wasn't for you, then none of us would give much attention to Heidegger (at least I know it would be my case). He was a character I remember from the OG and which I thought was nicely designed in the FFVIIR and... I stopped there. 'Nice, they kept his laugh', I thought when the trailer got out.

And then I met you and - honestly, I cannot stress this enough - you have essentially removed this veil from my eyes and I saw Heidegger for the first time as you do: a multi-layered individual with deep-rooted issues, fiercely loyal to company & country and with so many other traumas and details that make him only human (and not a monster).

I am always in awe at all the sources of inspiration you have for him, at how insanely credible your thoughts his PTSD and other war-related issues are, the way he was brought up, came to marry and then divorce - honestly, for me, your Heidegger portrayal is THE Heidegger portrayal. I don't mean this to dunk on anyone else (or even SE), but because the way you have put him together makes so much _sense_ in my mind that I have a hard time disconnecting your Heidegger from canon.

As far as I'm concerned - his first name is Magnar, he comes from Junon, he has a rivalry with Godo, a behemoth gave him the trademark scar, he has two daughters and a divorce wife. I love everything about your timeline for him and always will. If anything, SE should give you royalties for the superb work. <3

(( mari ♡

i messaged you already kinda buggin out a lil over this but i want it on my blog (ALONG WITH ALL YOUR LOVE CAUSE YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME LOVE BECAUSE YOU'RE PRECIOUS & THE BEST) just so i can keep that tag open whenever im feeling stale on my writing or a little crispy with my portrayal. it always means so much to me how much time you've given me and my heid (i say my heid because at this point, i don't know how much is canon aside from his abusive streak to his soldiers & his shinra simping lmao).

but honestly, ive said it before - i'll say it again. i wouldn't be writing him without the support from yourself and others. like, i always talk about how hard it is writing a hated character. he isn't a villain in the same sense as sephi/roth / the turks. they're 'likable'. everything they do is okay because they're young & hot. i know they're more complex than that and personally, i like them a lot too! but it's difficult fighting the battle of there being zero fanart for the character. zero fanfics (aside from ooc / fetish fics). it's tough seeing people make jokes constantly about the character that you like & when i say jokes, i don't mean 'lol seph is a cat' i mean 'lmao could you imagine if him and shinra were GAY lol GROSS' (it's so immature it makes my eyeballs strain).

i know that was a mini rant then, but it always makes me feel a little embarrassed to have such a fixation on such a generally disliked character. makes me feel weird & unwelcome in the fandom haha.

but to know that there are people like you - people who haven't only said 'haha ok, this crazy cookie is doing something w/THIS character' but people who have actively allowed me to explore elements of his character? to get him married? to allow him fatherhood? like BRUH-

it makes my heart warm & fuzzy. i'm sorry i don't always show it & i'm sorry i sometimes get all weepy on the dash about things but it honestly does mean a lot to me.

mari - yourself and others absolutely contributed to me bringing him back & despite any hangups or embarrassment i have over the character. fuck, even in squeenix do some fucked up shit like make him about stolen valour (i REALLY hope they don't) or turn him into a coward (which im prepping for with pre-emptive unwritten headcanons) - he's always going to have a special place in my heart.

not because of playing him but because of the people i've played him with. ♡