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blakeswritingimagines · 4 months

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Dating Yandere Feyd Rautha Would Include

Absolutely ruthless. Feyd is the kind of yandere who would do literally anything for you. He would go to any lengths to protect you, whether it be killing, torturing, or even starting a war if necessary. Nothing would stop him from keeping you safe. He would also be hyper-possessive and jealous, going so far as to kill anyone who tried to get close to you or take you away from him. You're his and nobody else's as far as Feyd is concerned.

Feyd craves absolute devotion and possession over those he cares about. He has a deep-seated fear of rejection, leading him to become increasingly possessive and controlling in relationships. His idea of love is rooted in possessiveness, making him fiercely protective and jealous if he perceives that his love is threatened.

He will go to great lengths to keep this person close, often resorting to manipulative and coercive tactics. Despite his intensity, he also harbors complex feelings of insecurity and neediness, fueling his excessive behavior to maintain the connection he desires.

Feyd would also be extremely obsessive and possessive; constantly stalking and monitoring your every move. He would become extremely aggressive and abusive if his partner ever tried to distance themselves or end the relationship - going so far as to physically restrain you. He would also be extremely controlling and manipulative, using any means necessary to ensure that his partner stayed with him. This could include gaslighting, guilt-tripping, making threats, etc. Essentially, Feyd is the embodiment of the absolute extreme of yandere. There is no limit to what he will do.

Feyd would be incredibly obsessed with you. He would spend hours obsessing over everything about you - your quirks, your habits, even the way you move. He would want to understand you completely and would never hesitate to ask you a thousand questions.

He's a control freak, to say the least. Feyd would want to have complete control over your life. He would monitor you, track your movements, dictate your relationships, and make sure you're doing exactly what he believes is best for you. He's also a major sadist and has no issue with inflicting pain on others. If you were to try and run away, Feyd would do anything to ensure that you never leave his sight again.

Feyd would always be watching you, always making sure that he knew where you are at all times. He would become easily paranoid when it comes to you, and would always be thinking about the worst-case scenarios. He would also be extremely violent and aggressive to anyone or anything that even so much as looks at you the wrong way. If someone were to try and hurt you, Feyd would make sure they regretted it deeply and would do whatever it took to protect you from harm.

Despite his cruel nature, Feyd would want and expect absolute loyalty and devotion from your end as well. You must be completely committed to him and never waver in your fealty to House Harkennon.

He's demanding, egotistical, arrogant, and unapologetic in his approach to any situation. Feyd is used to getting what he wants, and he sees no reason as to why you'd be an exception to this rule. He's confident in his abilities to mold you into the perfect partner, and he's not afraid to use violence to ensure you stay in line.

Feyd has a very twisted view of love. He believes that pain and suffering are a normal part of a relationship and that to love someone means to go to extreme lengths for them. He would also be completely obsessed with you, to the point where he would think and dream about you constantly. You would be his everything and he'd go through anything to make you happy.

He may also have a secret room hidden away somewhere that contains your old belongings - like photos, clothes, and other personal items - which he would guard fiercely.

He's obsessed with you, to the point that he would see the whole world burn before ever letting you go. Feyd has a tendency to switch his emotions rapidly from love to sheer bloodlust. He can go from tender and affectionate to cold and cruel in a matter of seconds.

He craves your attention and validation, to the point of being desperate at times. Feyd would constantly look for ways to make you happy, even if it involved doing terrible things.

Feyd is an intensely jealous person. This includes both romantic jealousy (if he finds out you’re interested in someone else) and non-romantic jealousy (fear of you abandoning or betraying him). It wouldn’t be odd for him to snap and attack your love rival, or start a violent argument with you over it to get you to pay more attention to him.

He typically puts on an arrogant and cold presence when around others, often displaying a condescending and slightly cruel attitude. Feyd isn’t interested in small talk and pleasantries, he sees them as pointless wastes of time. Only a select few people (such as the emperor himself) are given his true respect.

Feyd is actually very good at giving reassurance, albeit with a possessive undertone. He often reassures you physically, holding you tightly as if to make sure you can't slip away from him. He likes to shower you with compliments and praise, both public (in front of others to emphasize that you're his) and private (whispering them into your ear).

Feyd is very good at rewarding you for doing as he says. He will heap praises on you and shower you with gifts for following his orders. Feyd is also an excellent provider, making sure you have anything and everything you could possibly need or want. If you follow his orders, not only will you get rewarded accordingly, but the amount of love that Feyd has for you will grow exponentially each time you prove your obedience.

Feyd can get extremely creative with punishments. He is not above using physical torture as a form of teaching. Feyd also knows how to use emotional manipulation to get what he wants, such as making you feel unworthy for disobeying him. He may also decide to cut you off from the world for a period of time, forcing you into isolation so he can be the only one to decide what you do and when you do it. Feyd is a sadist by default, so he enjoys punishing you.

Feyd is naturally a very aggressive and confrontational person, so he is used to fighting with others. He can get extremely heated during arguments, often shouting and using intimidating tactics to get his point across. When you fight with him, he will do anything to make sure that he wins. Whether it be verbally berating you or threatening your loved ones, Feyd will do whatever it takes. His love for you can easily turn into anger if he perceives you not following behind him.

Feyd will go all out with dates, trying to give the most expensive and luxurious dates as he has the means to do so. He will often book tables at the finest restaurants and then take you out on a romantic walk in a beautiful park in the quiet hours of the night. He sees this as a time for you and you alone, so Feyd will take steps to ensure every date is isolated from outside interference. He will be possessive and protective during each date, constantly monitoring you, holding your hand, or even kissing you.

Feyd is a very physically affectionate person and will take every chance he gets to touch you. He loves holding your hand and kissing you, even if others are watching. He will also be very cuddly and clingy, often hugging or holding you for no reason. He loves showing affection in public, as much as possible. He sees this as a way to lay down his claim on you and warn away others.

Well, Feyd is the heir to his planet's royal family, so marriage is probably something that would be forced on him if he didn't already want it. He would definitely want a big, luxurious wedding that's the talk of the entire galaxy. There will be grand processions, lots of food, a huge feast, expensive gifts, and beautiful decorations. After the actual wedding ceremony and reception, he'll take you back to his massive palace to celebrate privately.

Feyd is all for having children, as it will allow him to further extend his bloodline. He would make a very protective and possessive father, shielding his children from everything and everyone that is deemed as a threat, and only allowing what he sees as the highest quality of food and clothing for them. Feyd would have a multitude of nurses and other servants to help look after his children, so he would make sure they were constantly under watch at all times. He will also encourage them to become as powerful as they can, making them train in combat.

Feyd is someone who gets what he wants, so he’d be extremely insistent on you having kids. If you told him you could not have children, he would likely seek a divorce and find another partner who could give him children. If you are unwilling to have children, Feyd will try his hardest to pressure you, manipulate you, or, if all else fails, force himself upon you. He may also have you sent to a hospital to do medical procedures on you, in order to make it possible to have children.

"You belong to me, and me only. Your body, your mind, your soul - everything about you is mine. You are my property. I will do anything to keep you close. If any man even so much as looks in your general direction, I will kill them. I will never let you go... You love me, yes? Then never forget who you belong to."

Ownership and Power - Feyd loves to dominate, and the feeling of being in control is something he craves. He loves the idea of having you belong to him, and being able to give and withhold affection or pleasure as he sees fit.

Sadism and Masochism - Feyd really likes to push your limits, both in terms of pain and pleasure. He enjoys the feeling of having you completely submit to him and the power that comes from being in charge.

Teasing and denial - Feyd likes to toy with your emotions, such as teasing you with the promise of potential reward, then punishing and denying you.

Restraint - Feyd enjoys using various methods to restrain you. This can be as simple as using rope or handcuffs, or more creative options like a collar and leash.

Humiliation and Degradation - Feyd also enjoys humiliating and degrading his partner as a way to assert his dominance and control. This could be anything from name-calling to public humiliation.

Feyd is a very sexually active person and loves to take the lead and be in control. He's open to experimenting with lots of different kinks, but he really enjoys things like light bondage, light humiliation, impact play, sensory play, and breath control. Additionally, Feyd also has a strong fetish for certain materials and textures, such as leather, lace, ropes, and ribbons.

#feyd rautha #feyd rauth harkonnen #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha headcanon #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha x you #feyd rautha x y/n #feyd x reader #feyd x you #yandere feyd #yandere feyd rautha #dune 2 #dune #yandere dune #dating would include

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sugarr-moon · 7 months

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in celebration of my AU slugcar lineup for the 3rd time lets go!

individuals + slugcat bios below cut

Survivor(or viv)

pronouns: any/all

an anxious, paranoid slugcat whos a nervous wreck most of the time. after their fall, their experiences lead them to be much more cautious and wary. they usually need another slugcat to accompany them whenever leaving the safety of their home, and has an irrational fear of being alone.

Monk

any/all pronouns

an optimistic, light-hearted slugcat with an introverted personality. they prefer to spend their time with their lizards rather than anyone else— besides their close friends. they’re under gourmands mentorship and guidance to become a colony healer and inventor. they have a unique tact for being able to bloom karma flowers where they please.

Hunter

any/all pronouns

a skilled fighter and adventurer. the second in command to gourmand, they’re typically indifferent and logical. with the help of monk, NSH, and gourmand, their rot has became much less of a problem, no longer being lethal. however, it still gets in the ways of their duties at points. hunter is headstrong, stoic and skilled— and a much valued member of the colony.

Gourmand(or gourm)

any/all

the up-beat and welcoming chieftain of their colony, gourmand always looks out for others. protective of their home and family, they’re somewhat hesitant to strangers and intruders. they are working on teaching the members of their colony on how to invent and forage. they’re also somewhat of a therapist, always willing to be a shoulder to lean on if anyone needs it. they’re quite stressed with this workpile, but hunter has been a great help.

Artificer(or arti)

any/all pronouns

artificer is aggressive and anti-social. most slugcats stray away from them due to their bad temper and explosive mood(pun intended). underneath the surface though, they do have good intentions. they’re very protective of the ones they love, and do care for the colony. they have a waryness to talk about their past, and a strange aggression towards scavengers. they have a soft spot for the colonys pups, and doesn’t mind looking after them.

Rivulet(or riv)

any/all

energetic, charismatic and curious. they enjoy rambling and sharing anything they find with their friends. their curiosity though sometimes gets them into trouble, and they’re quite reckless. one of the people they’re closest too, though, is of course looks to the moon, someone they consider a mentor figure. they enjoy playing light hearted pranks, and they’re usually seen around artificer— despite their contrasting personalities.

Spearmaster(or spears)

any/all

a messenger on a journey from seven red suns, they’re from an incredibly far away land. they used to be close with rivulet and hunter, before eventually having to return home. they do miss their friends, but they know that where they truly belong is with their iterator.

Saint

any/all

cold, withdrawn and somewhat egotistical. they don’t like interacting with anyone much. though, monk, someone they’d consider their pupil, does have fascinating abilities they think could help on their mission. they’re extremely devoted to attunement, and believe that any act of attachment is vile. though, their latest mistake though, has somewhat sent that world view spiralling…

Nightcat(or cosmo)

any/all

a strange, silent slugcat. they never really speak with anyone besides survivor and gourmand. they’re interested in constellations and charting them. they’re scared easily, and prefer the sound of silence. the third eye on their head belongs to that of an overseer, which can project images, which is helpful to their star charting.

i cant put enots here bc tumblr is bullying me but enjoy!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

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AITA if I actively worsen my family’s sanity as revenge for worsening mine?

My family is that if two parents and three children (all in our 20s).

Without getting into deep specifics, basically, I’ve lost all the patience I’ve had for my family. My mom who is manipulative, my dad who is neglectful, my siblings who are egotistical and dismissive.

because I’m the middle child and oldest daughter I’ve been the brunt of every negative thing you could think of, and I dealt with it for… 25 years.

but this year as my New Year’s resolution I swore to treat them worse than they treat me. So every time my mom tried to manipulate me into feeling bad for her and to love her and to do the house chores, I threaten to kill myself and tell her that she was an awful mother and that if she really cared for me she wouldn’t ask me for things. (She knows I have mental illness that makes it hard for me to do things)

and when my dad puts my pet in danger I slap him and threaten to take his pet to a shelter to have him euthanized and tell him he should die alongside his pet (he is in his mid 60s)

I don’t do anything directly to my siblings because our relationship honestly isn’t that bad, but I did make a fake Instagram account that I use to call out one sibling for all the stuff they do to keep their image up or whatever (some bullying might be involved in their part)

and for my other sibling, who collects vinyls, occasionally I go and scratch up a vinyl they have. Just enough to make it seem like normal wear and tear, they haven’t noticed yet lol.

whenever my parents try to bring up my behavior to me I start yelling at them about how I’m crazy and they raised a crazy daughter and that everything I do is a result of their own creation. And my dad has offhandedly said to let a (female) pet die after she got injured once, so I bring that up all the time.

I tell him that since he hates women so much he should just shoot me like I know he wants to.

Over the past few months I’ve noticed that one sibling has become extremely paranoid, while the other has gotten very frustrated. My dad avoids me now and my mom is very obedient and quiet.

I don’t feel bad about this, and I know there are other things I could have done, but I feel like this has been worth 25 years of repressed anger. Now that the year is almost over, I’m considering that my New Year’s resolution be to try to fix whatever shit show has become of my family, but that’s not the point.

AITA for taking this revenge, or am I justified in paying them back?

the reason I don’t think I’m the asshole in this situation is that at least for the first several months, they tried doubling down on their bullshit. My mom got more manipulative, pulling out everything she could to make me feel bad for her and to submit to her again. And my dad became violent toward my pet, whom I’m protective of to the point where I’ve told every single person I’ve met that if anything happened to her I would kill everybody and then myself. (Luckily I was able to prevent my dad from actually hurting her, but the fact that he tried drove my goal further).

honestly, my sibling probably didn’t deserve it because we all pretty much ignore each other, but I’m holding the grudges from childhood when they would beat me up and break my stuff.

and before anyone says it, I went to therapy for four years and it just made me more angry

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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punksocks · 5 months

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Warning Signs That You May Have A Toxic/Karmic Significant Other

Hey everyone, you may have seen my recent post about breaking up with my ex partner after 5.5 years. If not, I’ve been deep in reflection after ending this relationship. My reasons for ending it were that he refused to seek professional help to manage his anger which would come out in constant outbursts of violence (not physical ab*se but hitting walls, kicking furniture, scarring my dog, etc) and his mental health in general. After breaking things off I analyzed our relationship and all the red flags became crystal clear in hindsight. This blog is not only my emotional space to reflect, but also a place to give out advice to make sure you guys feel less alone in the world. So I’ve compiled a list of behaviors that made it clear that in hindsight the relationship was destine to be toxic and could not continue. It’s important to take lessons from painful experiences in order to continue to grow, and that’s what I hope I can help with by sharing my experiences here:

(TW Manipulation, Distressing Themes, Emotional Ab*se)

- They hate your intuition: (they work to make you doubt whatever means you have of self guidance. Whether that’s tarot/astrology, or spirituality in general, or therapy, or your simple gut feelings/reactions to things. They hate them because they know that they’ll be singled out at some point by them so they work to make you not believe in yourself through manipulation/gaslighting. My ex would constantly say the tarot is going to tell me to break up with him, but he never really changed he’d just belittle it and say I was getting weird about spirituality and he’d try to make me doubt myself or choose between the tarot and him. When I asked him to go to therapy he would also say that he was worried the therapist would tell him to break up with me-implying I was the problem. When I would ask him to go anyway he would find a way to avoid it- saying it’s too expensive, too hard to find, he doesn’t have time, etc)

-They constant give you advice that puts you in harm’s way: (My ex always told me I was too quick to cut off people that threw me under the bus and that I was paranoid. When I found out my former business partner was being shady and stealing from me, he told me to keep working with her. I said I had to take things over. He said I had no chance of covering the expenses on my own and that he wasn’t going to help me at all even though he was working a consistent 9-5. I rationalized this as putting too much pressure on him to support me through my apprenticeship over the previous few months, even though by the time we were having this discussion I had picked up a seasonal 9-5 to compensate for starting the business. I still felt guilty because I was asking him to cover the rent at home while I built this business up. I ended up wracking up debt over trying to cover everything myself and he was telling me I was going to fail every step of the way. When I didn’t fail and the business remained open over a year later, he said he had always believed in me every step of the way.)

- They rewrite history (that’s the other thing- when I broke up with him he said it was his idea to open the studio in the first place. This was a lie. A bold one at that. At the time I would have had to become self taught due to dealing with several egotistical mentors (wow thematic) and I looked for positions in other studios and there were none. My ex told me I should “pause” my goals. I told him I’ll open up my own space with another artist. He had a long talking down to me about how we couldn’t afford any of that, and how impossible it was, etc. But I went through with it anyway, effectively doing all the work on my own. He constantly told me what I was doing was crazy. But I made success out of it, thank God. Now my ex is trying to take credit for the whole thing as if I don’t remember what happened. Audacious.)

- Instead of having their own dreams they focus on wearing yours down (I have so many big dreams I want to accomplish and every other idea I shared with my ex was pushed back on or breadcrumbed. I wanted to live abroad, he’d say it’s too expensive but maybe he could find a way to make it work if I stopped putting so much pressure on him. I took over my own business, he told me I shouldn’t do it and should quit while I’m ahead. He would always try to counter every idea I had with a “logical reason” of why it wouldn’t work. He would try to control me by doubting me and in turn trying to get me to doubt myself. I never actually listened to him in hindsight, and when I pushed through successfully he would pretend to have been on my side the whole time.)

-They always compare you to their exes, in bold ways (My ex would always go out of his way to bring up his past relationships. The examples and instances were never appropriate. But one of the first worst early examples was when we were at a show. My friend’s band was playing. In the middle of the set he decided to look up his ex on social media. I was clearly uncomfortable but he continued. Then when we’re talking he brought up a nickname she used to call him that was inappropriate. When I was upset by this he threw a shirt (merch gifted to him by my friend’s band) in the booth almost hitting me with it and he stormed off. He made himself seem like the victim in a situation where he was trying to bait me into starting a public argument and yet made me soothe him afterward.)

- The betrayal of not ever being believed (early on this was another giant red flag in hindsight. I’m black and I tried to explain colorism to him, while I was having a bad experience with it. He’s white and should have been listening and understanding with open ears. Instead he tried to argue me down for being “mean” to light skinned black people. In the experience I was talking about how a mixed femme at work established a boundary with our white bosses to try to avoid racist harm. They let the femme do this without any pushback. I tried to establish the same boundary in the same meeting and those white bosses accused me of actively refusing to do my job. I told my ex this was colorist and that’s when he argued with me about this. He didn’t believe my experiences until he googled “the right articles”. When I brought this up in the future he would say he was just trying to see all black people as equal. It was a pretty disgusting defense.)

- Throwing insults in your face about past trauma (I told my ex about how emotionally abusive my mother was (wow there’s that pattern again) and he would throw this in my face and blame me or compare me to her at the slightest provocation in several arguments. When I was disrespected at work, he would blame me for misinterpreting things. Complaining about how I used him for money whenever I had asked him for help managing the business’ expenses. And so many deep cuts of things he should never said to me and names he shouldn’t have called me if he ever cared about me. He always wrote it off as me misremembering or him meaning it as something else or a distraction tactic of whataboutism -‘what about when you complained that I left dirty clothes on the floor?’ For example. All ways he tried to manipulate me from seeing this pattern of messed up behavior. Every argument he would make us talk in circles until I would have to give up from frustration and exhaustion.)

-They’re full of hot air, and if they seem like they aren’t they’re probably mirroring you (when I broke up with him I stopped hanging out with him pretty much immediately. Although I had to coordinate moving out still, I started keeping my head down to focus on my work. Essentially I had already moved on. I thought we had had deep discussions about the world and life but when I had less to say he had nothing to add. He would just keep filling up the air with anecdotes about nothing and commentary on anything just to keep crossing my boundaries and to try to force me to pay attention to him when it was clear I neither interested or comfortable doing so.)

- They try to force you to become as cynical and jaded as they are (I was never antagonistic per se, but when we were together I had unconsciously started looking/preparing for the worst in every scenario and every person I’d meet. Because of my ex’s toxic influence. Getting along with coworkers? They must be just “kissing up to you” according to him. Like that tv show most people are fond of? No way that has to be trash. Want to try something new? No there can’t be anything good about that. He was a very stuck person that refused to find the joy in almost anything. Unless it was too impressive to ignore —but even then he had to nitpick it apart. I would wonder why his compliments would feel so hollow- it was because he really had trouble seeing the good in anything. Like a day or two after we broke up I was already feeling lighter and more optimistic. When people were kind to me I embraced it easier and in turn every aspect of life got a little brighter. The contempt for others was palatable. Because he expected everyone to be ready to undercut him like he was ready to do to them.)

- Before you know it, they’ll have you romanticizing breadcrumbing behavior (I asked my ex to get on meds for his mental health and to find a therapist so many times over the course of 5 years. 4-5 months before I broke up with him he got on medication. Then after a peace period of a month or so, we were back in a cycle of petty arguments and he was saying the meds don’t work. He didn’t even try to go to therapy until I broke up with him. he got an appointment the next day because he “was trying to win me back” Essentially, he’d never work on himself or actually actively improve things. He’d always make one or two half steps to placate me then complain about how it was too hard and completely impossible to put the work in. Even with the therapy example, he wanted to display that he could make progress in order to win me back. Don’t worry, I had seen this tactic before and knew he would just fall back into toxicity. So, it didn’t work.)

- When you do leave they get cocky about how you’ll have nowhere to go (I leaned on my ex to support me when I became overwhelmed by figuring out my business on my own. I worked several temp jobs in addition to the business but it was stretching me thin. So I needed his help several times and only had so much saved up by the time I broke up with him. After begging me to take him back the entire night and pretending to be supportive, the next day he was scoffing and boasting about how “[he] didn’t even know what [I] was going to do.” He did this over everything from buying my own detergent-even though I always bought the detergent- to managing my bills on my own-even though I usually managed most of my bills on my own- until I finally was able to move out and leave him behind.)

- They never defend you and always make it seem like it’s your fault if you get attacked (My ex was always siding with abusive people and gaslighting me when I noticed that behavior. As many of you may know, my mom was a terror throughout my childhood. I confided in my ex about how much of an impact this had had on me. Before I went no contact with her we all got dinner when she came in town to see me. Despite all my warnings and preemptive begging to be supported through the difficulty of meeting with her my ex threw me under the bus immediately. He laughed at her jokes at my expense and didn’t stop her at all from singling me out. I shutdown in this moment and began to draw to cope- I’m neurodivergent so that’s one of the things I default to doing when I’m overwhelmed. They continued to make fun of me together and when I asked him why he didn’t have my back afterward, he blamed me for “not being friendly enough” and “not interacting with [my] mom enough”. This pattern of doubting and failing to help me would continue through our entire relationship.)

- They’ll have -self aware- moments that aren’t quite what they seem (I truly cannot count the number of times my ex would start an argument just to talk me in circles then try to get me to believe I was in the wrong too. It was truly maddening. He would always push to say he “understood” how we had gotten there. Then ramble on and on and on saying that I was attacking him and he was the victim of things. I asked him to do the dishes? I’m “criticizing [his] housework and putting too much pressure on [him]”. I ask him not to throw things when he’s upset? I’m “overly criticizing [him] and making [him] so anxious he can’t help but hit things”. And on and on and on it went. He would always tidy it up by saying he forgave me because we were “both wrong” and he just “would try to be better next time and [I] should too”.)

-They have underlying personality issues that need to be addressed (and when you bring a hint of these up, they lash out about how you’re attacking them and they throw personal attacks back at you because of their fragile ego. If you -somehow- get them to see a mental health professional you may find them lying about what feedback they got. After I broke up with him he said he’d go to anger management class and find a therapist “to win me back”- funny how it’s after you leave them and set the ultimate boundary they do the work to show you they can hypothetically change and it’s never one of the times you’ve begged before in the midst of madness. Before I moved out I overheard his therapy appointment and she asked about his bipolar diagnosis and he said he was just anxious despite the mood swings. When he came to me to tell me the good news of him finally going to therapy he left that out. When I asked if the therapist knew if he had another disorder he manipulated that. He said the therapist asked if it could be anything else but it was just a brief thought. He framed it that way instead of the consistent behavioral issue it was.)

- Usually they attract drama and chaos but blame you for it as their partner (He always kept his ex around in boundary crossing ways. In hindsight I wouldn’t be surprised if he had cheated in any way with any of them because of how murky he was about spending one on one time with them. They also will always encourage you to keep other toxic people in your life so they can keep flying under the radar/blaming the other toxic people when you feel drained/etc. When I decided to go no contact with my parents, he second guessed me. When I decided to go no contact with my friends that were harmful, he second guessed me. He went out of his way to call me paranoid and picky and every other name in the book he could. Even after I broke up with him he went out of his way to tell me I was paranoid and should quit tarot reading “because [he] knew it would turn [me] against [him] one day”. I told him his opinion meant less than nothing to me.)

- Whenever you set a boundary they try to undermine it and take it as an attack (When we met, all of my ex’s small circle of friends was made up of people he had dated or slept with. Once his friend, who had flirted with him multiple times, asked to stay in his apartment while she moved out of her place. He offered her his bed. She even had a boyfriend at the time but she went to my ex first. I told him this made me very uncomfortable. He screamed and yelled about how he’ll always choose his friends first and I have to understand that and that she didn’t want to sleep in his bed while he was in it. It was crazy but the whole time he called me dramatic and made me feel insane for being so uncomfortable with it.)

- They may often act out in public over the littlest things (my ex would get absolutely infuriated when there were lines in places. Insane right? Especially living in cities? with other people? And yet whenever we went out I’d have to prepare my mental for the possibility of him getting angry and breaking down because people were waiting ahead of him in line. In hindsight the entitlement he had was overwhelming in itself. The last time we went out to a movie -which was a whole scheduling fiasco in of itself with him during our entire relationship, he was obsessed with movies. I like movies but spending 6-9 hours in a theater? Every week? On top of hours of mandatory movie viewing at home? It was exhausting. He also made me pay for my own monthly movie pass even though it was his thing. Even in covid, although I’m immunocompromised I had to negotiate with him to wait to get vaccinated before he went back to the theater. And to wear a mask in the showings. He would huff and fuss about those small courtesies the entire time. Anyway the last movie we went out to see had a long line but we bought tickets ahead of time. He pitched a fit and kept storming off away from me and threatening to leave over the line. I kept following him foolishly, and coaxed him into staying. Of course there were enough seats and of course he enjoyed the movie. He apologized after for “getting overwhelmed by the line” but that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.)

- It’s all or nothing for them but breadcrumbs for you (I’ve always been clear that I have no plans of staying in the country I’m from. From the start I’ve understood I’m not meant to stay here. And yet I stayed in a city I hated so he could suddenly finish his associates degree. We moved back to my hometown but we lived in the most stressful neighborhood because he “wanted to be downtown with a pool.” He would always complain about every single idea I had to leave the country. I’m thinking about doing a language school or artist residency? He “did long distance with [his] ex who cheated and it would be too hard”. I want to study this language and go to this -easy-place for a visa? He “kept forgetting to study and had no idea how we would ever afford the move.” And on and on it went until I simply gave up on trying to get him to step up.)

- They twist everything to be about them even grief (my grandma was like a mother to me, so it hit me hard when she died. She even told me she was going and thanked me for my friendship at the end. It was still a very difficult period and I couldn’t accept it until it just happened. When I got the call and burst into tears my ex said “I’m so sorry… do you blame me because we stayed here for me to go to school and you couldn’t be home with her?” It hadn’t even been 20 minutes since I learned she was gone. The extent of his selfishness would shock me until I cut him off.)

- They make you bury things they don’t like about your self expression/goals (I’ll use a simple example. I love fairy lights. When we met I had fairy lights and my ex had no complaints. But when we moved in together they ‘would always bother him and give him headaches’. So I took out the lights. Then he got me a glowing lamp I wanted for my birthday but never allowed me to turn it on when we were in the room. I brought the lights I love to my work and my ex would complain about them there too. He’d say he didn’t know why he “just didn’t like spending time at the studio” and then use the lights as an excuse, and then hed complain all day about how exhausting it was to be there. He’d only offer to come to the studio more if I turned them off just for him. All this time later and all of a sudden I don’t have any lights I like up. This didn’t happen for everything, but there were a lot of little things he was so controlling about just to be authoritative about something I liked.)

- They hate it when you have positive things happen to you (and instead of seeing your success as a good thing they see it as you one upping them, so they often express jealousy and then disguise it as a joke. He would “joke” about how I was going to fail so often I lost count. When I had a great day there would always be a hint of disappointment in his voice. He would always undermine it in anyway he could. “Oh you made X amount that’s nice, but that’s not enough to cover the rent”. I got a lot of compliments on my outfits, so he’d say “no one ever compliments me”. Always something to bring me down and try to get me to focus on a worry.)

- They downplay your trauma (I’m a burn survivor. My dad burned me through hot water and neglect as a baby on around 20% of my body. For that and many other reasons I became sort of a local legend for my time in our local child protective services. In a city of well over a million people. Doctors thought I wouldn’t be able to walk again and it was a miracle when I did. My grandmother had to wrap my scars everyday, twice a day for 3-4 years afterwards. She would tell me the pain would make me cry random throughout the night until I went to kindergarten. All that to say, my scars had a BIG impact on my health and my life. When I told my ex about my insecurity he said “sorry that happened, but it’s not that big of a deal.” Crazily at 21 I took that as flattery. It was not, it was severely downplaying the trauma I went through because my ex didn’t care for that part of my life. I even remember thinking I should tag a post as a burn survivor and he said “isn’t that like advertising your burns, why warn people about it?”. I got better and embraced my scars all through my own healing but damn it was all severely fucked up.)

- They usually have a Fatal Flaw they try to make you contend with (My ex had explosive anger where he would hit something (a wall, the couch, his desk, etc) or throw things at any slight provocations, and he would disguise it as a reaction of low self esteem instead. I didn’t realize how bad the conditioning had got until I broke up with him and I wasn’t getting jumpy from him coming home anymore or my dog wasn’t hiding from him anymore. I was walking on eggshells all the time and I only knew it subconsciously. He would also curse at me and call me the meanest names from the smallest arguments, he would get belittling. It’s their signature style to make you feel small and to desensitize you to truly nightmarish behavior.)

- That’s the other thing- most people and sometimes animals can tell they’re off (I would always wonder why my ex never seemed to make a good impression on others. They could tell he was off from the start.)

- They start trying to love bomb you after you give up or when they sense you are finally giving up (I always asked my ex to pay more attention to my business/endeavors/art/etc when we were together, to respond to texts I sent him at work-within reason-, to give me some support or feedback. His replies were always blasé. “That’s nice.” Or “I will.” As soon as I broke up with him. He was complaining that he always missed texting me at work. Then he started getting more involved on my social media pages. Then for the first time in months he watched my story on Instagram completely unwelcomed and unprompted. It was how fake the performance of interest was that really struck me after everything.)

- They always ask for one more chance when you’ve given them at least a hundred chances (Evem when I broke up with him he kept saying “you cut off other people (for being toxic) but I never thought it would be me!” I feel like I’ve already put plenty of examples of this, so I’ll just say this points to the fact that at their base motivation they don’t really respect you or care about you. If someone actually cares about you, they’re going to go out of their way to make you comfortable, to care about your opinions and feedback, from the very start)

- Even when it’s over, they still always try to blame you for their bad behavior. (My ex painted himself as an introvert when he was in a relationship. I had always asked him to make -newer, healthier- friends and to make a social effort. Since the beginning. After we broke up he made an effort to go out to social events. After he went out one day he came back and said “I was such a girlfriend guy, I never went out and socialized!” In turn I said you’re not a girlfriend guy you never cared about what I had to say, if you were a girlfriend guy I wouldn’t have had to break up with you for literally never taking me into account. So that ended that.)

- When it’s over the relief hits you in waves (I didn’t even realize how much I was doing to cope with the hostility and boredom of the relationship until it was over. I stopped overeating, I actually lost my appetite for days. I went from taking edibles every week to not even craving the ones I had. I wasn’t the most indulgent but I was shocked by how immediately I was fine with going cold turkey. My time with myself became even more peaceful. Even before I moved out, I was more creative and productive. I felt the beauty and the optimism of all the little moments deep in my spirit and my glow was brighter than ever before. My ex kept turning to me in despair and asking “how can you be so okay with this??” I answered him indifferently because he wasn’t worth entertaining. But obviously my spirit had been restored, I wasn’t wasting love on anyone that didn’t deserve it anymore. My energy was finally all mine. And I had faith in God that everything would be alright. And it was.)

You slowly but surely realize that you were formed to be a victim of a narcissistic/antagonistic person due to being raised by narcissistic parents and in an environment full of enabling emotionally and verbally abusive behavior. When we met I was so vulnerable. I had moved to a new city on my own, I was in a financially precarious place. The city was The Worst for Black people (tm). I was so desperate for an ally, I caught an energy vampire instead. I’ve healed and learned a lot from this. To be much more deliberate about who I let into my life. To be unafraid of purging and moving on when someone shows you they’re incapable of growth. To not accept crumbs of affection and appreciation. To pour my love into myself first before I let anyone else do the same. So I write all this to say, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that some people are so corrupted to the core that they’d rather destroy you than heal themselves. So… forgive yourself for this experience. Forgive yourself for being a person that just loves and cares about others. That believes in cultivating a world full of warmth and compassion. Don’t let one (or a dozen- ugh the people I’ve had to move on from oml) toxic ass person ruin you and your compassion. I had to forgive myself for believing in a lot of disappointing, inept, bad people. But I won’t stop being kind and compassionate because of those losers. I’ll continue to shine my light on those who need it whenever I’m supposed to. I mean I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to rely on anyone again without fear of their self interest but one step at a time, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Anyway, wish me luck on this fresh start. Buy a reading if you want to support me. But yeah, thanks for reading y’all.

#astro observations #astroblr #astro notes #astro community #astrology #lilith astrology #healing #karma #life lessons #false soulmate

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thoughtfulchaos773 · 2 months

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You don't think I can do it?

The nonnegotiables- the challenge- the tension between Sydney and Carmy. I mentioned this scene in my Season 3 Surrealist theme meta. But I still wanted to talk about it.

What stands out from the Sydcarmy arguments vs. Carmy arguing with family is the subtext. You can tell obviously what Richie and Carmy are arguing about. For Sydney and Carmy- their arguments it because there's more tension and things between the lines? I don't have to state the obvious of sexual tension. I want to point out how Carmy is starting to lose his mind here where Sydney is exasperated and rightfully so- but there's also some patience and conflicted contempt for Carmy's antics.

Richie and Carmy's argument moves quickly in this episode as they throw shots at each other. But this moment takes a noticeable pause as a thought hits Carmy—that Syd is challenging him.

When this happened, I thought- woah, what the fuck was that? The Carmy who cooks from a competitive, egotistical place? The same Carmy who went to the best restaurants as a big fuck you to Mikey? And when someone new to the kitchen came, he would smoke them? Now it's directed at Sydney? But I need to figure this out. Carmy's motivations make him want to get a star because Sydney wants one, but that motivation changes when he thinks he sees Chef David. He's not asking Richie if he doesn't think he could get this star and operate on the highest level- he's directly asking Sydney about her view, perhaps her validation beneath it? After all, she told him he was an excellent chef- so why the sudden challenge?

Sidebar: Oh, Richie! Look- if Sydney leaves, I'm sorry, but I will miss these Carmy and Sydney tension scenes with Richie looking on. He's come a long way from instigating. He's quiet and looks at Sydney, holding on to what she might say to this question. I think he's also noticing that Carmy isn't just argumentative towards him- carmy is also paranoid and unhinged with Sydney.

Ending sidebar but- a throwback to Richie looking on at Syd and Carmy:

Back to this scene:

Not sarcasm.

Snark, contempt even. Definitely, contempt from the moment he asked her you don't think I can do it? She's trying to be fair and stop the fight between Richie and Carmy, but now she has to address Carmy directly. He's exhausting at times!

As a fellow unhinged (but medicated and a lover of therapy) human being, Carmy looks so crazy here, like a wild bear. While Sydney mentions he's been yelling at Richie, he makes a pointed look toward him. Throughout this scene, as Sydney breaks up the fight (what a mental load on her part), Carmy often looks at her like he wants to stop arguing with Richie, but he can't help it- anger is more comfortable for Carmy- fear and grief are not.

I think even with Carmy defensive and angry—he knows Sydney is hitting some truth bombs—Carmy made getting the star about himself. Beat Chef David and ruminate on Claire—his purpose is to focus on the past to fix the future. It's hurting his team along the way.

Anyway, I don't have much of an ending. But I do want to know what you think about this moment. Is there something I missed? Feel free to reblog and reply!

#sydcarmy #it's not our fault if Jaw and ayo are just delivering their lines and their chemistry is 🔥#carmy x sydney #the bear fx #may add tags later with more thoughts

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wonysugar · 11 months

Text

it’s so over for me…. ch. 15

hiding spot (half written)

the loud thud of the door shutting against the frame made you flinch, you quickly turned off your phone and focused on not breathing too loudly. it was a life or death situation for you, basically.

on her end, it was, more than anything, really fucking annoying that she fucked you while she was drunk. and the thought that you probably still hated her despite all of that gave her goosebumps. she wanted to talk to you, she really did.

but how?

she was a stuck-up self egotistical bitch who only thought about drugs, booze, and coochie. how could a well-mannered and distinguished person such as you like her?? no chance, she thought.

she sighed heavily as she finished putting on her top, utterly unaware that you were in the same room as her. grabbing her phone from the counter next to the bathroom, getting ready to call up ning to pick her up–

hic.

she paused in her tracks, eyebrows furrowed as she turned her gaze to the couch, eyeing it and the weird strange noises coming out of it.

oh how fucking lovely, hiccups, now, is what you thought, in a state of immense panic from hearing her slow and loud footsteps approaching your hiding spot, you spoke up, you had to.

you said your first actual words to her, and they were ridiculous,

“aeri, i swear to god if you keep walking towards this couch, i will run out of this house butt naked.”

her eyes widened, she immediately recognized your voice and backed away. “y-y/n?? what the hell are you doing behind that couch? also why are you naked..”

“don’t ask questions and just- turn around, i need to get dressed.” you ordered her, and she obliged immediately, muttering a weak okay. you stood up and put on your outfit from yesterday, yknow, the one that reeked of liquor? yeah, you didn’t exactly have the luxury to get changed, so.

“okay. i’m done.” you sighed eventually, watching her slowly turn around, you were finally facing her properly after all of these days, weeks? it felt like she was after you for what seemed like years, at this point.

it was weird, seeing her in front of you in a setting where she wasn’t drunk, nor was she glaring at you. this time, she was just kinda looking at you. and you were looking at her back. it was a surprising, and kind of awkward, but very welcomed comfortable silence nonetheless.

until she spoke,

“why do you hate me, y/n?” she suddenly asked, her voice small. she seemed… incredibly distraught and hurt by the potential fact that you do hate her. you’ve never seen her this way?

you scoffed, looking away in slight embarrassment, “who said i hated you? okay well.. i kinda do but.. i was moreso scared of you at first.. kinda.”

when you looked back at her, all you saw was a baffled expression on her face, confusion visibly taking over her whole brain.

this was probably gonna take a while.

“so yeah, despite the fact that you made me paranoid for like a good week, glared at me everytime we passed by each other and indirectly threatened to murder me on twitter, i don’t hate you or anything.” she was listening to you throughout the whole thing, guiltily nodding along to your words, embarrassingly excited over the fact that you remembered everything she did, but that wasn’t the point.

you added, “like yeah, sure, i thought you were an annoying self-centered piece of shit at first, and, you kinda are! but it mostly just turns out that you simply don’t know how to talk to women.” she kept nodding, until that last part.

“i do talk to women, not too fucking much.”

“talking to women and giving women suicidal urges are not the same thing, aeri.” you smirked at her, enjoying the reactions you were getting out of her.

she dramatically groaned, mumbling a small still counts as she was fighting back a smile. a real smile. it wasn’t a wait-until-i-get-you-hoe kind of smile, it was moreso a oh-you’re-so-funny-i-need-you-so-bad kind of smile.

upon looking at her smiling this genuinely, you felt.. inexplicably warm? you wanted to deny it, just like you’ve been doing throughout this whole thing, but you couldn’t anymore.

she was insanely pretty.

you jumped from the unexpected sound of your ringtone accompanied by the just as sudden vibration that you felt in one of your front pockets, all of it interrupting your train of aeri-filled thoughts. you pulled out your phone, looked at the contact name and immediately tensed up.

you forgot that heejin was waiting for you.

“fuck- aeri, i gotta go. heejin wanted to meet up and i like- completely forgot about it, sorry..” you waved at her as you rushed to the door, not even looking back at her. “see yo—“

“y/n, wait.” she exclaimed, not super loud, but it was loud enough, so you heard, then you turned to look at her.

meeting her gaze again, she stumbled on her words when she saw your face, as if she was fully expecting you to just go when she called out to you.

“i… i-i wanna talk more. so. give me your fucking number. please.” she demanded, looking as nervous as ever, like she forgot that she whored herself out for you in the bathroom just last night.

and you, looked like a dork that was being asked out for the first time with how wide your smile was, because you apparently also forgot about last night.

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littleguyconnor · 24 days

Text

IHNMAIMS CAST RE-INTERPRETATION

Due to my visceral hatred of the game and the way they handled the characters, I’ve decided to re-write their stories a little bit! I’m using the book, comics, and radio drama as reference, and my own headcanons too for fun. This is all For Fun

Ellen

Things I’m Keeping

Born in Trenton, New Jersey

Computer scientist

3 degrees

Went to Stanford university

Graduated high school early

Lived with her grandparents

Hope in humanity

Self assured

Sympathetic

Rape survivor

Little to no interest in sex in general

Work driven

Career focused

Things I’m Changing

Black rights advocate

Queer rights advocate

Feminist

Outspoken

Trans woman

Lesbian

No interest in motherhood

Fell into a depression when her assault left her with chronic illness and pain

Has OCD

Character Notes

Highly distrustful of people. Kind and caring, but her concern for others is surface level. Struggles with the fear of men and violent intrusive thoughts. Favorite color is red. It calms her.

——

Ted

Things I’m Keeping

Born near Shelby, North Carolina

Grew up extremely poor

Lived on a farm

Interest in reading

Knack for mechanics and engineering

No traditional education, self taught

Studied intensively

Education focused

Grooming victim

Charming

Relied on his body for money

Philanthropist

Rich

Good sense of morals

Kindhearted

Things I’m Changing

Closeted bisexual

Not a con-artist

Not a racist

Not a womanizer

Has anxiety

Has a paranoid personality disorder

Touch adverse

Struggles with dermatillomania

Demisexual

Character Notes

Had always been paranoid and anxious even before AM, but it made his problems even worse. Struggles heavily with internalized homophobia, and gets visually uncomfortable when queer topics or people are discussed. Prideful and egotistical out of habit, but is deeply insecure in reality.

——

Gorrister

Things I’m Keeping

Born in the Midwest

Troublemaker as a child

Disrespect for authority

Did poorly in school

Moves across states for work

Practically friendless

Has experience as a construction worker, electrician, mechanic, and a trucker

Interest in reading

Prefers to stay home and eat home-cooked meals

Wants to settle down

Divorced

Anti-war

Left-leaning political activist

Strong sense of morals and justice

Wanted a family

Things I’m Changing

Marriage with Glynis was not abusive

Did not strike his wife

Divorced due to wanting different things out of life and overwhelming mental health issues

Bisexual

Queer rights activist

Has depression

Has CPTSD

Born in Texas specifically

Struggles with alcoholism

Struggles with anger issues

Is an artist

Character Notes

Very deeply loved and adored his wife. He did everything he could for her, but it just wasn’t enough. Glynis’ worsening mental state became too much for either of them to handle, and Gorrister didn’t know what to do. Sending her to a mental hospital was a non-option, things got worse, and she commuted suicide. He blames himself for it every day of his life.

——

Nimdok

Things I’m Keeping

Born in Düsseldorf

Jewish parents

Went to medical school

Apparent lack of compassion

Gay

Scientist

German

Has dementia

Had a partner in Brazil

The oldest of the group

Self assured

Logical

Things I’m Changing

Not a nazi

Not decrepit

Has early-onset dementia specifically

Not AM’s favorite

Low empathy

Low sympathy

Has a general disinterest in other people

AroAce

Struggles with schizophrenia

Character Notes

While unable to sympathize or understand other people’s emotions, it wasn’t ever in his nature to be outright mean or cruel. Rather, his dementia is what caused the change in behavior. Sometimes he has moments of clarity, where his true nature can be seen for a few fleeting moments. Still retains his sharp scientific mind.

——

Benny

Things I’m Keeping

Gay

Professor

Good looking

Intelligent

Born somewhere in America

Strong willed

High perseverance

Self assured

Physically strong

Things I’m Changing

Had absolutely nothing to do with the military

Did not have a wife

Is not needlessly mean or violent

Career driven

Focus in academics

Knows sign language

Struggles with chronic fatigue and pain

A softer man

Interest in nature and the outdoors

Character Notes

Never one to start a fight or even anger much at all, Benny was laidback and easygoing. He had a calm life, and his personality was upbeat. Nothing ever seemed to bring him down. Not even his chronic illnesses, as frustrating and disheartening as they could be. In his free time he was somewhat of a survivalist.

#i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #ellen ihnmaims #ted ihnmaims #gorrister ihnmaims #nimdok ihnmaims #benny ihnmaims #It’s just. I cannot stand the way they’re written as terrible awful people just for the sake of being terrible awful people #It’s not interesting. Nor is it realistic or even engaging in the world they’re in #It’s much more fun in my opinion if they’re truly just Regular People

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extrashotodepresso · 1 year

Text

Fake Dating Series:

KirishimaXFem!Reader

(ft. Ex Hawks)

Warnings: SMUT AHOY! (Actual smut- like DNI if under 18) , a bit of Yandere Hawks at the end (can’t help myself), angst, pure filth, cheesy, cheating mentioned

I had an idea a while back about a little fic series around the beautiful cliche trope of fake dating. Overdone you say? YUP! But it’s so tasty I can’t help it! Needless to say, all characters in my fics are 18+. In this one, MC and Kirishima are in their mid to late twenties.

So this is the first one!!! Feel free to reblog if you want, I literally write these for myself but if you like it lemme know if there’s anything else you wanna see!

Summary:

Hawks shows up at the agency and tries to get back together with you. You try to blow him off but he’s pushy. Getting irritated you say you’re dating someone. When he asks who, Kirishima walks over and you get an idea.

“Just go with it.”

“What?”

You pull Kirishima by the harness on his chest and bring him in for a short kiss; what you weren’t expecting was for him to kiss you back.

“Um… still here, (Y/N).” Hawks clears his throat uncomfortably, while you are stuck staring up at Kirishima’s face.

“Wanna get out of here, pebble?” He asks with a sly grin.

“You have no idea.”

You had felt your phone incessantly buzzing in your back pocket all day. You prayed silently that this meeting would end soon; you could hardly pay attention to it anyway.

“Everything okay, Jumper?” You heard someone call out to you. When you looked up it was none other than Red Riot, your coworker and acquaintance. You rubbed your neck nervously.

“Yeah- just have a lot on my mind I guess.” You looked up at him with a soft smile before standing- even if you were tall for the average woman, he stood easily a foot and a half above you, though he was less intimidating than his appearance would suggest.

“Well if you need anything, let me know.” He smiled again kindly, then offered you a small stack of papers. “Notes. From the meeting.” You took them gingerly, looking up at him with a raised brow. “Seemed like you missed some of the info today, wouldn’t want you falling behind.” His face was almost bashful as he said this, his mouth opening slightly like he was preparing to speak again.

“Riot!” Dynamight called out for his friend suddenly and Red Riot gave you a small wave before walking away, leaving you a little dumbstruck. Sure, Red Riot was nice- he had even been dubbed the new gentlemanly hero- but something about the gesture gnawed at you. Unfortunately you didn’t have much time to stare after him in bewilderment as your phone began ringing. Again.

You whipped your phone out of your pocket, turning towards the elevator and making sure you were alone before you hit ‘answer’.

“What do you want?” You spat out, hand smashing the down button as you looked behind you in a paranoid fashion. You prayed as you waited for the doors to open that no one would follow you.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that little bird.” The voice that came over was saccharine and sweet, the syrupy tone making your stomach turn. You waited until you were inside the elevator with the door closed to respond.

“Don’t call me that, Hawks.” Your teeth were grinding.

“I’m downstairs.”

“What? Downstairs where?”

“At your agency. Let’s go for dinner or some coffee- you know you can’t-“

“I’m not going anywhere with you. Fuck off and go away.” You hung up the phone, practically slamming it in your frustration.

Two years. Two years of your life you had dedicated to that insufferable, egotistical, bird brained— ugh! And three months ago, you found out he had been cheating on you with some young up and coming sidekick. You closed your eyes, exhaling deeply before collapsing on the cool elevator wall. When the doors opened, you were in the hallway to the lockers.

You had been throwing yourself into your work since you had broken up with Hawks. You had spent the past few months pulling shift after shift- and now you were being forced to take the weekend off. This was especially frustrating to you at the moment; if Hawks didn’t leave like you asked, you wouldn’t have a good excuse to lose him, and the man had a way of getting what he wanted. You made it to the showers, cleaned yourself then changed into civilian clothing, praying that he had the decency to finally listen to you on your elevator ride back to the lobby. Though, if his incessant harassment the past three months had anything to say about the likelihood of that happening… the doors opened and you steeled yourself, trying to visualize an undisturbed path to the exit.

As you approached the front desk at the lobby, your heart sank. He was still there, casually leaning on the marble counter, blatantly flirting with the receptionist.

“Well I would be crazy not to want that back.” You muttered, rolling your eyes before trying to walk as quietly as possible past him.

“Baby bird!” He called out to you and you stopped, feeling your shoulders hunch over.

“I told you to fuck off.” You spoke through your teeth. He walked over to you, opening his arms as if wanting a hug, then after seeing your expression lowered them slowly.

“Look- I know that-“ he actually looked remorseful as he paused, “I messed up.”

“You messed up?” You barked out a laugh. “Did you mess up the first time when you fucked her in your office? Or the tenth time when you fucked her in our bed?” Your glare was seething now, and his face was heartbroken. As much as the part of you that had loved him wanted to reach out and make him feel better, the part of you that he broke rejoiced seeing him in pain.

“Yes, (Y/N). I fucked up. And I’ve regretted it every single day. I miss you, can’t we just talk about this?”

“No, we can’t.”

“Why not?” Just then, the pinging sound of the elevator caught your attention and you looked over your shoulder to see— the perfect distraction.

“I don’t think my new boyfriend would like it.” You lifted your chin haughtily before you heard the heavy footsteps approaching.

“Boyfriend?”

“Hey! Jumper, Hawks, how’s it goin?” Just as you expected, Red Riot approached the two of you at the desk, smiling brightly, completely unaware he was about to be the perfect decoy.

“Hey babe!” You called out enthusiastically before trotting over to him. He was still in his hero gear, no doubt going for a last patrol on his way home. He looked down at you with a slightly quizzical expression before you whispered so only he could hear, “Just go with it.”

You grabbed his shoulder harness, pulling him down to you and before he could react or protest, kissed him. It was meant to be a quick peck on the lips, nothing too showy but the second after you pulled away, you felt his hand reach behind your head, fingers threading in your hair as he brought you back for more.

His lips were softer than you expected from the hardened hero, more experienced too. His lips moved along yours with a delicate fervor, quickly you lost yourself in him. Your hand that had been wrapped around his harness tightened and you pulled him ever closer, practically whimpering into his open mouth as the kiss heated. His tongue probed your bottom lip, requesting entrance and without a second thought you allowed it.

“Um… (y/n)? I'm still right here.” You heard Hawks behind you and it brought you back to the present. Pulling away, you attempted to gather your breath as you looked up at Red Riot.

He was looking at you with a hunger that made your thighs clench together. You didn’t know what you had expected when you kissed him, probably just an awkward joke and maybe an offer to walk you home, but this was… carnal. He was smirking down at you, sharpened teeth glinting in the fluorescent light.

“Wanna get out of here, pebble?” His voice was gravelly, thunderous and you bit your lip as you nodded.

“You have no idea.” You managed to whisper as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Sorry we couldn’t catch up, Hawks.” He spoke, still looking into your eyes as he did. “Looks like my little pebble needs to get home. I’m sure you understand.”

With that, the two of you left, leaving Hawks standing dumbfounded behind you.

“You wanna tell me what that was about?” Riot finally spoke again as the two of you entered the parking garage.

“Not really.” Your mind was still spinning, “Thanks for the help, Riot.”

“It’s Kirishima.” He said, softly as you approached your car.

“Kirishima.” You tested it out. It was foreign on your tongue, but not unwelcome.

“You want me to go home with you?” He asked and you felt a blush bloom across your face before you looked at him dumbly.

“Huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as well.

“I mean- to make sure you get there safely and everything.” He cleared his throat, suddenly breaking your gaze. You smiled, your stomach feeling flutterings you hadn’t experienced for almost two years.

“I’m a hero too, you know.” You said, teasingly.

“O-of course, I just thought-“ you giggled, he was too easy to tease.

“I’m happy to bring you back to your place- it looks like you were planning on one last patrol though.” He finally looked back at you, his eyes trying to read your expression. It was stifling, that look and you cleared your throat before rambling on, “I suppose I do owe you a bit of an explanation. It’s the least I could do to give you a ride as thanks.”

“I was planning on another round but it’s late… so if you’re willing to drive me… what I’m saying is…” he stopped himself, “I’d like that.” He muttered.

You nodded, then walked to your driver's side, sitting down and trying to not scream internally as he sat next to you. Your car adjusted with his weight and you felt suddenly self conscious about the state of your car- would he judge you for the smell of stale coffee or the miscellaneous straw wrappings on your passenger side floor? If he did, he didn’t say anything, he just casually provided you his address for the GPS. For the next few minutes, the only sound that could be heard were the incessant directions of your car, taking you on what felt like the longest drive of your life.

“He’s my ex.” You said, suddenly, to break the silence the two of you had lapsed into.

“Who?” He looked over at you, and though you trained your eyes on the road, you could detect surprise in his tone.

“Hawks.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” You said almost curtly. “Broke up a few months ago.” You readjusted, feeling his gaze on you was a little uncomfortable.

“Why did you—“ he let himself trail off, then caught himself. “Actually, I don’t need to know, I’m sorry that was-“

“We have different definitions of fidelity.” You interrupted him. “I think it means you stay loyal to one person, he thinks if someone else wants you and they’re super hot, sleeping with them should be acceptable.” You smirked as you shrugged, though saying it out loud hurt you more than you would like to admit.

You hadn’t talked about the break up with anyone. Not even your best friend. All she knew was you were done, and you didn’t want to go back. Kirishima was now the only one who knew the truth.

“That’s so unmanly.” He said, as solemnly as possible and you barked out a laugh. “What? What did I say?”

“Nothing-“ you said through giggles as you pulled up to his apartment. “It’s just-“ more giggles “unmanly?” You bit your lip, finally turning to him as you parked.

“So… he’s the one that was calling you all day?” Kirishima changed the subject. You sighed, resting your head on the seat as you turned toward him.

“Yeah. He wants to get back together. Doesn’t seem to understand the phrase ‘fuck off’.” You smiled, though it didn’t quite meet your eyes.

“And you think that kiss will be enough to keep him away?” He asked, almost incredulously.

“I would think so-“ you looked at him through your lashes. “It was a pretty great kiss.” You chewed at your bottom lip subconsciously and you watched as his eyes followed the movement.

“I don’t think he’s gonna stop until he really gets the message.” His voice had changed again, all low and sexy and you felt those butterflies again.

“So what do you suggest?” You swallowed, your mouth was suddenly completely dry. He leaned over to you, his massive hand caressing your face and covering half of it.

“Make the message so loud, he can’t ignore it.” He brought his face to yours, eyes looking in yours then to your lips to give you plenty of time to change your mind. In response, you leaned in to close the gap, brushing your lips against his just barely.

He increased the pressure, exhaling in relief as you permitted him to continue kissing you. The two of you quickly became a mess of tongues and teeth- though as things became more heated, the tiny space of your car was hardly accommodating.

“Would you like to-“ he broke the kiss to ask you a question, though you didn’t let him finish.

“Fuck yes, let’s go.” He smiled at this, chuckling as his thumb caressed your cheek.

“I was going to say come up for a drink, but I have a feeling you have a little more on your mind.” Your face reddened in embarrassment.

“A d-drink would be nice.” You swallowed. “I’m a little thirsty.”

“That’s one way to put it .” He said with another smirk and you pushed his chest, smoothing your hair and trying to catch your breath when you heard his rumbling laugher as he exited the car. The sound of it was enchanting. He walked around and opened your door, ever the gentleman, and you unfastened your seatbelt before grabbing his hand and following him inside.

Kirishima had a massive penthouse apartment, with all new everything and expensive furnishings.

“So this is a top hero’s apartment, huh?” You asked as you looked around wide-eyed. “You probably spend in a month what I do in a year.” You mused out loud as he walked over to his massive kitchen, grabbing a couple bottles of water from the fridge.

“I’m comfortable.” He said with a slight chuckle. “But it helps that I split the rent.” He walked towards you, offering you a water before gesturing to a large U shaped leather couch by a fireplace.

“You have a roommate?” You watched him nod, then sat on the edge of the couch, watching him walk away before your eyes continued to drag themselves around the room “Who? Wait, you’re not-“ he shook his head.

“I’m single, don’t worry.” You let out an exhale you didn’t know you were holding. “Bakugo and I have been roommates since college.” Your brows raised at this.

“Dynamight?” You asked incredulously. “Lord-Explosion-Murder—screams-at-children-number-two-hero—Dynamight is your roommate?”

“Yep. Hey, do you want anything harder than water?” You heard him call out to you, apparently in your awe he had returned to the kitchen.

“You bet your ass I do-“ you muttered, then louder; “whiskey, if you have it?” You looked back at him and watched him nod, his back to you as he rifled through the kitchen, moving surprisingly swiftly to grab a glass and some expensive looking amber fluid in a crystal container.

You had been staring into the fireplace, still oscillating between several levels of shook before you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder. You looked up, and Kirishima was smiling at you, handing you a glass of whiskey.

“Do you mind if I go clean up?” He asked with almost an apologetic expression. “I haven’t had a chance yet to change and-“ you nodded

“That’s fine, I’ll just be out here…” you gestured to the couch. “Waiting.” You offered what you hoped was a sexy smile, not missing the way he swallowed before he straightened up.

“Five minutes. Promise.” He was almost childlike as he scampered off, leaving you to collapse into the couch in wonder at the situation you now found yourself in.

What a bizarre series of events. Not even an hour ago, Red Riot was a coworker you barely knew. Just someone who you would idly chat with in the mornings, occasionally fight beside on patrol- now you were in his apartment, drinking whiskey, watching a fire and waiting for him to— you took a drink, hoping the alcohol would calm your nerves.

Kirishima was an incredibly attractive man. Maybe not by super traditional standards; with his spiky teeth and even spikier hair, but there was always a kindness to him you found intriguing. Not to mention, he was absolutely ripped. Nearly seven feet of carved muscle and rugged angles, a sharp contrast to his normally shy and kind personality. Your nails tapped on the glass in your hand as you stared into the flames.

What if this was a mistake? You didn’t know exactly what was happening tonight, though you knew what you had hoped for. He was really too nice of a guy to be a rebound…

As you lost yourself in your thoughts, feeling the pleasant warmth of the fire and the hum of the whiskey making its way through your bones, you were snapped out of your reverie by the sound of a door closing.

“Hope you didn’t wait too long.” His voice echoed out and you looked up, letting out what could definitely be interpreted as a moan.

Freshly showered Kirishima was a god. His hair which was usually styled sharply fell into his face softly, just passing his shoulders and you could see a hint of his black roots at the top. It was weirdly sexy to watch as he pulled his hair behind his face and tied it in a low ponytail, his bangs falling into his face gently. He was wearing a black sweater that did absolutely nothing to hide his hulking muscle and a casual pair of jeans that seemed to strain against the sheer bulk of his thighs. As he sat down, the smell of his shampoo or body wash enveloped you; sandalwood and something earthy- like the smell of rain. You wondered now what you had been so concerned with before, the idea that you had an important thought being the only thing you managed to grasp.

“You alright?” His voice was soft, sweet, as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. You blindly set your glass on the table beside you before leaning in to kiss him again.

It felt so right to kiss him. Losing yourself in his taste was so easy, so comfortable, so— as he pulled you onto his lap, gripping your thighs with his massive hands you moaned into him. His contagious smile could be felt on your lips as the sound escaped you and it almost bothered you how calm he was. You wanted him to feel the same as you, feel this untethered. You brought yourself down to sit fully on his lap, grinding the apex of your thighs against him.

When you found the hardened flesh there eagerly waiting and heard his breathy little groan you finally smiled back before pulling away from the kiss.

“I’m fantastic.” You managed to croak out in response to his question, looking at him to see a darkened expression over his features.

“(Y/N)-“ your name came so easily from his lips, you hadn’t realized he had actually known it until now.

“Yes, Kiri?” You kissed along his jaw, tilting his head to find his exposed neck, kissing him gently before biting the flesh at the junction of his throat and collarbone. His grip on your thighs tightened in the most delicious way when you did, and you licked at the flesh before returning to his lips. But he pulled away.

“What do you want?” He suddenly asked. You paused, over him.

“What do you mean? I want you.” You sat back, studying his expression. He groaned, bringing a hand up to his face.

“I mean- what do you want from this? I’m all for us hooking up to make Hawks jealous and everything-“

“Who?” Your genuine surprise seemed to astonish him. For a moment, you had forgotten what had brought you here, to this man’s couch, practically begging for him to take you.

“Seriously.” He sighed. “I think we should probably talk about what you actually want from this before we-“ you brought your hand to his lips, silencing him.

“I kissed you back at the agency for a distraction. Sure. But-“ you looked around the vast apartment. “I don’t see him here now, do you?” You smiled down at him. “If this was just to piss him off, I would call him while you were breaking me in half so he could hear what a real man can do.” Kirishima blushed at your words. “And while that might be fun to do some other time…” You leaned back, pulling off your shirt to reveal your chest covered by a padded sports bra you had put on that morning when you had no idea you would be straddling one of Japan’s top ten heroes. Kirishima didn’t seem to mind as he swallowed at the sudden exposure of your flesh, “Right now, I’m only thinking about you. And I would have thought,” you gave another experimental grind of your hips, delighting in the almost tortured sound he made, “that what I wanted was obvious.”

Kirishima studied you for a few moments, searching in your expression for the truth in your words. He must have found what he was looking for as he kissed you, immediately opening his mouth to tangle his tongue with yours.

It was sloppy, steamy and downright indecent, but gods if it didn’t spark your need for him. He brought his hands back to your thighs, caressing them before grabbing handfuls of your ass, landing a harsh slap that caused you to shriek into his mouth.

“You’re a naughty little thing, pebble.” He purred. “I didn’t expect you to be this-“ you brought your own hands to the hem of his shirt, dragging them up along his toned abdomen to rest on his pectorals, clawing at them before gesturing you wanted the shirt off.

“Forward?” You finished for him. He pulled his shirt off, then returned to your lips, hardening his grip before standing up, carrying you around like you were made of air.

“Bedroom?” He panted into your mouth. You nodded and kissed him back.

The way to his room was a bit of a blur. He stopped a few times along the way, pressing you up against the walls, letting his hands explore every dip and curve on your body. You thought, distantly, that you might have heard things crash to the ground at some point, but had a sinkhole opened in the middle of Mustafu, you probably wouldn’t have noticed. There was nothing but him. His touch, his lips, his sounds, it was all that mattered right now.

When your back met the plush of his bed and he crawled over you, you felt another moment of awareness at the sheer size of him. He seemed to even block out the light in his room, his face was nothing but shadow. He pulled back again, finally allowing you to see his tortured expression, his hand brushing your cheek as his eyes seared into you.

“Are you sure you want to keep going?” He asked, his voice strained like the idea of you saying no was physically painful. You leaned up to kiss him, your hands trailing down the expanse of his chest to stop at the button on his jeans. You let them sit there for a moment, playing at the hem, enjoying the feel of where the elastic on his briefs beneath his pants met his skin.

“Are you sure you want to keep going?” You mirrored him. “I’m not the one who keeps stopping.” You were smirking, but your heart was racing. He set every nerve you had on fire, you couldn’t remember ever feeling like this.

“Are you kidding?” A lopsided smile graced his face. “You’re all I think about, (Y/N). I’m still not convinced this is real.” Your eyes widened. Did he really feel that way? A blush spread across his face. “Sorry.” You didn’t know how to respond to his sudden confession so you kissed him again, finally allowing yourself to unbutton his jeans and try to wriggle them off his hips.

He seemed to understand your hint and helped you out, standing awkwardly and shuffling his pants down his legs. He stood then, almost bashfully when your gaze was immediately sent to the large tent in his boxer-briefs. Chewing at your lip again, you swallowed. Everything on this man was giant. You slid your leggings off your legs, throwing them unceremoniously to the floor before motioning for him to return to you. He moved quickly, his lips finding your neck and every sensitive point on it as his hands wrapped their way around your torso, arching your back and bringing you as close as possible to him.

“May I?” His fingers were playing at the back of your bra and you nodded, turning your face to him again, finding his lips once more. He unclasped your bra, having to lean up from you to pull it off, one arm resting beside your head. He pulled back a little more, looking over your body with a sort of reverence. A small whimper left you at the seriousness of his expression, which he seemed to take as you missing his lips on you (not that he was entirely wrong).

“You’re so damn beautiful.” He whispered into your neck, kissing down your collarbone and sternum before dragging his tongue over your breast. He found your nipple with the wet appendage, circling around it before bringing it into his mouth with an sultry suck. You gasped, hands tangling into his hair. He continued to lavish you with his lips and tongue, and when you pulled out his hair tie so you could run your fingers through his hair, he bit down on the top of your breast, causing you to shriek at the suddenness of it. He pulled back.

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ you threaded your fingers to the base of his scalp, tugging harshly.

“Stop apologizing Kiri.” Your voice was stern. “I’ll tell you if I don’t like something. But I’m not going to break.” He still looked unsure, so you tugged again, eliciting a small moan from him. (Hair pulling kink unlocked) “I mean it.” You swallowed, “Do whatever you want.” A choked sort of sound left him, and he kissed your lips again.

“You…” whatever he was going to say, he didn’t. He bit your bottom lip, the sharpness of his teeth caused a slight sting but it felt so good. Kirishima moved down your body again, littering bites and kisses wherever he went.

He crawled down the bed, stopping between your thighs. He sat up then, spreading you before him, staring at the apex of your thighs with a hungry expression.

“Anything I want?” A devious smile formed on his face. You nodded, for the first time a bit unsure. “You might regret sayin’ that, pebble.” He lifted a hand, using his quirk to harden his arm. Your heart was racing as he dragged a sharpened finger down your torso, not hard enough to draw blood, but strong enough to feel dangerous. He hooked his finger into your panties, quickly moving his hand to shred them off of you and expose you fully to the room. He deactivated his quirk, then removing the offending scraps off your body, lowered his head.

He bit your hip harshly, and you twitched at the feeling, legs immediately trying to close but he held you open with just one arm. He kissed the spot he bit, running his tongue over it to soothe the ache before moving to your thighs. He kissed and sucked the inner flesh there too, and you felt yourself clenching on nothing, the part of you he had exposed was yet to be touched and it was driving you insane.

“Kirishima please-“ you whined. He looked up at you, like you were disturbing him from enjoying himself. A switch had definitely been flipped at some point; where he had been eager to please, now you were his plaything.

“It’s Eijiro.” He said with another well timed bite.

“Eijiro! Please!” You begged again. He didn’t make you wait this time, bringing his face to where you wanted him most, he licked a long stripe up your folds.

“Delicious.” He muttered to himself before he began devouring you with a fervor. His tongue dove into your weeping heat, fucking you open with the thick appendage and you moaned, gripping his hair again like your life depended on it. This egged him on, as he brought a finger to your folds and pushed one inhumanly large digit inside you.

You were already so close, it was embarrassing. His tongue moved to your clit, circling around, writing out incantations that had you ready to cream any second. You managed, just barely, to look down at him. His cheeks were flushed, hair mangled by your hands and his eyes were burning into you with a sincerity you’d never seen before. He pushed another finger inside of you, scissoring and curling them to stretch you out, hitting your spot absolutely perfectly- and that was it. With a loud shriek you came, and he eagerly lapped up every bit of you, letting out a satisfied hum that vibrated your core. His fingers slowed their pace to work you through your orgasm, his tongue gently caressing you.

Out of breath, you tapped on his shoulders, trying to communicate to him that you wanted him to return to you. He understood and almost hesitantly, crawled back up your body, kissing you without a word, feeding your taste to you with his tongue.

“Eiji-“ you moaned into him “I need-“ again, he seemed to understand what you meant without words as he slithered out of his boxers, the weight of his manhood slapping against your thigh when he was freed. Your hands glided from his shoulders down the broad expanse of his back, raking your nails down his chest before you wrapped a hand around him.

He was thick. The thought of it had you drooling a little into his kiss. A small, inhuman sound left your lips when you dragged your hand up his length and felt the beads of pre already weeping from him. He broke the kiss with a moan, looking down to see your hand struggling to wrap fully around him while you angled yourself uncomfortably to try to pump him. He thrust into your hand, eyes practically rolling back before he stopped himself entirely.

“Hold on-“ he let out with a hiss before stopping your hand, grabbing it with his and pinning your arm next to your head, threading his fingers into yours. With his other hand he lined himself up with your entrance and slid up and down your slit, lubing himself with your slick.

It felt heavenly. The head of his cock kept barely catching on your entrance, then would move up and kiss your clit. You ground into him, trying and failing to just line him up with your core; though the feeling of him fucking your folds was pleasant, you wanted more.

“Slow down, pebble.” He moaned out into your neck, his voice like liquid velvet against your skin. “We’re gonna have to take it slow.” You wanted to protest, but even just the action of him rubbing against you was sending you toward another release. “Holy shit, are you gonna cum again for me, pretty girl?” Your eyes rolled into your head as your hips increased their pace, you thought you nodded but you couldn’t be too sure. There was something so primal about this experience. The need you felt for him was entirely animal. He chuckled darkly into you, then finally, agonizingly slowly, he began to push inside you.

The second his head made it past the first ring of muscle, you nearly blacked out. It was a stretch far beyond the familiar.

“F-fuck-“ he groaned, trying to keep going slowly but his hips were sputtering like he was trying to hold back.

“I told you-“ you angled your hips up to take another inch in- the stretch was incredible, “I’m not gonna break.”

You would one day wish that you could find the words to describe his expression, or the sound he made at your revelation, but you registered nothing as he lost complete control inside you. With one sharp thrust, he buried himself in at the hilt. There was no pain, just the immediate burst of pleasure you felt as he finally filled you. Your back arched off the bed, toes curling in his sheets while your knees squeezed his sides closer- like he could get any deeper.

“Y-y-you’re-“ he was stuttering, his every movement completely halted at the feeling of you pulsing around him. “Fuck it’s like you’re sucking me in-“ he pulled out agonizingly slowly before returning to you, thrusting tentatively at first before gaining confidence and speed.

His lips returned to yours, kissing you and refusing to separate any inch of himself from you. You were completely enveloped in his body, distantly experiencing the feeling of your damp skin clutching onto his. You couldn’t decide where to put your hands- they traveled from his hair to his shoulders to the sheets back up to his hair and you were sure that you could die in this moment and be completely fine. You were building up to something again, another gloriously dangerous crescendo that threatened to tear the fabric of your being apart.

“(Y/N)-“ he moaned into you, “I’m gonna- I can’t-“ his words were just as wrecked as you felt, and you nodded against his lips.

“It’s okay, Eiji. Let go.” You whispered the last part and he growled, pistoning his hips into you before there was a hitch in his movements, a moment where with a grunt, you felt a warmth spread through you. The feeling of being so intensely full, of being whole and still getting more finally sent you to your final release. Your head fell back, trying to bury itself in the sheets beneath you and as his movements sputtered and slowed he kissed your neck. He was grunting like the sound was being forced out of him, like he did whenever you were in a really tough battle and the thought sent heat over your body.

It was all too much.

Finally, the room seemed to still, the two of you were a collection of broken gasps and whimpers. He continued kissing your neck and face until you felt him soften and slip out of you. With a groan, he rolled himself away, leaving you stunned and a little cold.

You simply stared at the ceiling. The gentlemanly hero, Red Riot had just fucked you to the point that you saw stars at the edge of your vision. The thought made you smile. For a moment, you almost felt insecure that he left right afterwards until you heard a faucet in the distance.

Still catching your breath, you tried to drag your head to look at him when you heard his steps approach.

“How you feelin’, sweetheart?” He asked gently as he sat next to you, his massive form dipping the bed as you felt something warm and wet between your thighs. He was cleaning you up. Gentleman indeed.

He kissed you, rubbing the thumb of his unoccupied hand across the plane of your cheek. You smiled at him, kissing him again.

“Ethereal. You?” He chuckled into you, tossing the washcloth in the general direction of his hamper.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” He laid himself down on his bed, opening his arms in an offer to cuddle and you obliged, not minding the fact that the two of you were still a little sticky with sweat. His arm pulled you into his side, draping your leg over him and holding you there while his other arm rested behind his head. For a few moments all you could hear was the heartbeat in his chest; strong, calm, dependable.

“Did you mean it?” You asked him. His thumb, which had been idly petting your thigh suddenly stopped and he looked down at you.

“Mean what, pebble?”

“When you said I’m all you think about.” It was embarrassing to even ask, it was probably just something said in the heat of the moment. Hawks was like that, he would say all sorts of things when you were in the bedroom and when you were done…

“Of course I did.” He responded without any hesitance. He was blushing when you looked up, which was insanely cute.

“For how long?” You bit your lip. It felt like you were digging your grave here, but you couldn’t help it.

“Dunno. Just sorta noticed one day that you’re all I notice.” He said this so casually, like it was just an irreprochable fact. “I uh… I was actually about to ask you out. You know, before we uh…” he trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.

“I’m so glad it was you that got off that elevator.” You said, seriously. He let out a laugh before kissing you.

“Me too, pebble. Me too.” The kiss that followed started soft, but was starting to heat up as he rolled back over you, his hand cradling your face like you were precious. As your need started to reignite for him, you heard a loud slam.

“Oi, shitty hair! I brought dinner for your dumb ass.” The familiarly violent voice of Bakugo rang out through the apartment. Kirishima groaned into your neck, and you chuckled. “Why are all the pictures knocked down? What the fuck?” As the ferocious blonde started stomping towards his room, Kirishima reached for the covers on the bed, pulling them over you.

“I’m really sorry for what’s about to happen.” He said to you apologetically before rolling out of the bed with a groan. He pulled on his jeans with haste, still jumping trying to wrangle them on while he made his way out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him gently. “I have company, bro! Chill out, you're gonna scare her.” Though he tried to whisper, the urgency in his tone caused his words to carry through the door.

“What the fuck kind of-“ Bakugo’s footsteps stopped. You continued to giggle. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Muttered conversation that was unclear reverberated through the space.

“I didn’t get enough food for a third.” You heard Bakugo yell towards the room, “So if you want to eat you’ll have to feed yourself.”

***

Across the street, on a rooftop that was positioned perfectly to look into a certain Pro-Hero’s bedroom sat a blonde hero with wings crimson as blood and a heart shattered beyond repair. A feather gently floated toward him and he grabbed it, clenching it with all the rage he felt.

He had seen everything. Heard every word, every demented moan. She had never been like that with him.

Though Hawks knew the reason he lost her was his fault, he still felt she belonged to him. His eyes narrowed as he set off, flying high above the city, eyes burning. He wouldn’t lose. Not to him.

His resolve, crumbling as it was, still spilled fire through his veins. He would find a way to get her back, even if it meant hurting her again.

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