#all of you make amazing genius spectacular points

[perksofbeingasunflowerblog]

on this auspicious day i would invite all of you to kindly shut the fuck up for once

[mrs-weasley-reid]

AUGUST REC FICS

Hello, my sweets!! Here I am, once again, for yet another month of reading and living vicariously through our one and only Reader. I haven't read much this past month, and most of these sweet authors are people I follow (and shockingly, some are my mutuals, too !!! I'm too much of a fangirl to believe it's true). Give these gorgeous, spectacular writers a ton of love. They all deserve it so much, considering they're blessing us with such amazing work for free. Like. Comment. Reblog. The equivalent of a five-star review

Like always, I will be going based on what I've read recently and not by the date the fic was posted. Reminder to please respect these writers. Some contents are 18+. MINORS should not be interacting in any way.

— ✿ — ✿ ✿ — ✿ ✿ ✿

Spencer Reid

✿ a muted shade of green by @dalamjisung ↳ the flow of this fic was so smooth my jaw dropped down on the floor as i read through (writer's first reid fic, and it was chef's kiss)

✿ hearts aligned by @raekensluver ↳ OMG this one had me melting. roommate spencer is such a dream

✿ sick love by @misserabella ↳ guilty pleasure unlocked. a wonderful reading session filled with interesting discoveries

✿ behind closed doors by @incognit0slut ↳ i loved binging this so much !!! was a giggling, kicking mess while reading this one; and it has four parts ! we're so spoiled

✿ kiss it better by @nereidprinc3ss ↳ tmi but was having an episode of mild anxiety attack, and this saved me in the middle of the night, giggling myself to sleep, so thank you for such amazing work x

✿ dead of night & nightvisions by @cxrrodedcoffin ↳ lol i read this at work and had to fight battles not to make any facial signs that i was consuming kinky content. the second part was another level, i was cackling like a witch

✿ much ado about nothing: act iii, scene v & act iv, scene i by @incognit0slut ↳ act iii, scene v left me speechless, reader didn't fold and i took that as a win. act iv, scene i played with my emotions lol

✿ just a number by @reidsdaisies ↳ i became a stand-up actress while reading this because it's overwhelmingly spicy and filled with tension i had to provide comedic relief for myself

✿ untittled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ no because i saw my reblog post of this and i immediately snorted and then laughed some more after rereading it. pipe cleaner will never not be funny to me

✿ poison me, i'm fine by @gghostwriter ↳ no because this one needs more attention ?????????????? i loved reading this so much i was so tempted to pull my heart out and ship it to pau, show how crumpled it was after reading

✿ my best colors for your portrait & my face in every place by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i wasn't lying when i said august is for angst and i immediately gobbled this up after seeing it. the way my chest was so tight but also smiling because the writing style is amazing got me looking like a lunatic

✿ cute, outraged genius by @lavenderspence ↳ tina got me laughing like a gremlin. it's so adorable she made me fall in love with spencer all over again

✿ another untitled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ sorry, sweethearts, ket just couldn't be bothered with titles lmao. secret lover reader is my favorite lover, sooooo you all will enjoy this cutie patootie creation

✿ one single thread of gold by @gghostwriter ↳ you'll overdose of sweetness. it's so adorable and a great way to feel giggly about spencer reid.

✿ for the fear of falling apart | part one by @pathologicalreid ↳ i haven't read the rest of the parts but mhmmm this was DELISH. well-written creation that made me show emotions while reading at work. my coworkers asked me my my eyes were so wide and i think that says a lot at how great this is

✿ second to none by @raekensluver ↳ ooooo this one got my blood boiling in a good way

✿ untitled work by @sincerelybubbles ↳ adorable stuff make me melt especially when it's a spencer one

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Aaron Hotchner

✦ darling, in any life series by @hotchfiles ↳ at this point are we even surprise im including yet another series form lari here ? anywayyy, i love me some old flame trope

✦ picket fence dream by @hotchfiles ↳ this is a new part from the choiceless hope series and i gobbled it up. i was screaming when i read this

✦ tells by @ssahotchnerr ↳ first thing i read in the morning, and i sobbed from the overwhelming sweetness

✦ silver by @solardrop ↳ okay but this was so adorable ??? plus im def one of those gals who tried to throw herself on him, maybe even catapult myself

✦ sympathy for the devil by @hotchfiles ↳ nosebleed. spice level is not as high as i make it seem but the writing really got me sweating. just read it, you'll understand what i mean

✦ spending time with you by @lavenderspence ↳ no because TINA CALLED ME OUT WITHOUT CALLING ME OUT. i was slightly offended. the gasp i gasped was so loud asdkfnkg. but it is adorable, go read it pls pls

✦ doctor, love by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i love when reader slaps the character with some reality like a seasoned raw steak.

sorry, not sorry if this post is filled with lari. I reread her works religiously, so here are my favorites from hers truly:

✦ help me hold onto you ↳ oh, this is like crack for me, and i always come crawling back no matter how hard i try to stay sober

✦ half asleep takin' chances ↳ still waiting for future aaron somewhere out there

✦ choices ↳ gonna be honest with everyone this one makes me wanna deck aaron hotchner and then deck reader for folding so easily and also deck myself because im no better than reader

✦ quis ut deus? & daniel 12:1 ↳ my fave series from lari and i will never not reread them over and over and over and over again because i love it so much idk what's the appeal on me but i love it and i want this framed and buried with me even if it's unfinished

I haven't had a lot of time to visit the good ole "for you" feed in a while, so I apologize for missing all the amazing work every writer has put out this month. I will make it up to you, I promise! And if you'd like, you can send me works or mention me so I can read certain creations that you deem noteworthy for the next rec fic month!

love lots, ker x

[miryum]

"Halloween III"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy’s relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

"Attention, squad! Today is the most important day in the history of this precinct,” Y/n cried out in the briefing room. She raised a dramatic hand and said in a low voice, “for today is Halloweeeeeen!” She turned to Captain Wayne, pouting. “I thought we were going to say it together.”

“I never agreed to that,” he stated.

Y/n sighed and continued, “as you may know, for the past two years, Captain Wayne and I have engaged in an epic battle of wits. The goal: to determine who must call the other an amazing detective-slash-genius.”

Wayne cut in. “The first year, by sheer, dumb luck, Y/n eked out a feeble victory.”

“And last year, I let the Captain win, because he's old and sad,” Y/n retorted. 

Wayne raised a brow and quickly quipped, “sad because the competition was so dismal.”

“Is this meeting about something?” Steph asked from a chair. Jason sat next to her, his nose red and eyes tired.

“It's about everything.” Y/n said, aghast that her best friend would even ask that. “This year's the tie-breaker, a final heist to decide once and for all the true ruler of the six-six. Halloween Heist Three: The Heistening. Tagline?” She pointed at Captain Wayne excitedly.

“This year we both attempt to steal the same object instead of L/n attempting to steal one from me.”

Y/n huffed and whispered, “I gave you one direction on the tagline! Make it snappy. But yes, we will be attempting to steal the same item... this.” She held up a plastic crown etched with faux jewels.

“The crown will be locked in this briefcase, which in turn will be locked in the interrogation room.” Wayne took the crown from Y/n and placed it in said briefcase. 

Y/n sang quietly, “And so unto the briefcase goes the crown!” 

“This year,” Wayne continued, “we have decided to include the rest of the precinct, and so to be fair, we're holding a draft.”

“Everyone who participates will get the night off,” Y/n said. “Captain?”

Wayne hummed. “With the first pick of the draft, I choose… Richard.”

“Alright, I'll take Steph.” Y/n grinned and high-fived her best friend.

“Damian.”

“I take Cass.” Y/n said.

“Todd is too sick to participate,” as if on cue, Jason sneezed. “In fact, I don’t even know why he's still here…” Wayne muttered. “And Drake is too loyal to L/n.”

“Nuh-uh!” Both Y/n and Tim cried. 

“Have you seen his ass-kissery?” Y/n asked incredulously. ”I can’t trust him! Tim would do anything to win your approval, including pretending to be my friend for the past years only to betray me now even though Wayne only joined the six-six three years ago.”

“L/n, you are majorly overthinking this,” Tim said.

“Maybe, but it's a risk I'm not willing to take. Tim’s out.”

“I agree. So we agree that by midnight, whoever has the crown shall be the ruler of the six-six.” Wayne had a rare smirk on his face.

“So,” Steph strolled into the room and said to Damian, “I see you've been assigned to guard the briefcase too.”

“Correct, Brown. I’ve been given clear instructions to keep a close and clear watch on both the briefcase and you.” He nodded towards the briefcase which sat in the interrogation room. He and Steph currently stood behind the two way mirror.

“Well, I have exciting news!” Steph exclaimed. “I found the perfect guy to set you up with!”

“After zero consideration, I'm happy to say, ’hard pass.’ It's incredibly… sweet that you wish to set me up with someone, but I do not trust your taste in men.”

“I have spectacular taste in men. You would love Jon.”

Damian rolled his eyes. “You are impossible.”

Y/n paced the break room. Jason lay on the couch, a blanket tucked over him and a box of tissues at the ready. Y/n had Doordash open on her phone, popsicles ready to be ordered for his sore throat. Jason lightly groaned and turned over in his sleep and Y/n’s head whipped over to him. She crouched down next to him and brushed her hand over his forehead. He officially had a fever and she placed a cool washcloth over his forehead. She went back to pacing the room and suddenly, a Halloween decoration with motion sensors rang out. The cackle of the fake witch blared throughout the room and Y/n cried, “gah! Scary witch! Scary, so so scary!”

“I am not going to meet my next boyfriend through a Stephanie set-up.” Damian crossed his arms.

“It's go time, Brown.” Y/n whispered into her comm from up in the vents. “Holt and Terry have closed the blinds... release the spiders.”

Stephanie discreetly took a bag of spiders out of her pocket and dumped them onto the floor. “Oh, my god! Damian, look! Spiders!” She let out a scream and jumped back.

Damian squatted down and hummed. “Achaearanea tepidariorum. The common house spider.” He placed a finger on the ground and some spiders crawled over his hand. “How did you fellas get in here?”

Y/n strapped herself into the harness and grinned. “Commence operation, ‘oh crap, wrong vent.’” She opened the vent cover and dropped down, suspended a couple metres from the ground. “Oh crap, wrong vent,” she said. “This was a mistake.”

Damian scoffed. “Nice try, imbeciles. You blew it. Honestly, I expected better from you, L/n. It seems as if all my trainings failed to pay off.” While Damian was distracted, Cass used two plungers to suction the window glass off of the interrogation room door.

Y/n smacked her lips. “Yep, we totally blew it. And all because Brown marked the wrong vent.” Meanwhile, Cass silently somersaulted through the window and to the table the briefcase was handcuffed to.

“It's not my fault!” Steph defended. “I thought it was the right vent.” Cass took out a knife and cut open the briefcase and extracted the crown. She placed it between her teeth and flipped the briefcase over, hiding the hole.

“I'm having trouble even believing you right now.” Y/n shook her head, still hanging in the air. “That is the last time I let Steph mark a vent.”

“I'm normally great at marking vents.” 

Cass jumped back through the window and replaced the glass. She whispered into the comms, “lock picked.”

Y/n was attempting to stall for time. “Never, ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever, will I ever, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never, never, never- I forgive you, and good-bye!” She hoisted herself up at Cass’ command and crawled back through the vents. Steph quickly excused herself and Damian’s eyes flickered to the briefcase. It was still there.

Later, the trio met crowded around Y/n’s desk and she gushed, “wow, you should have seen us, Cass! Steph and I were amazing.”

Cass folded her arms and announced, “I somersaulted through a window, cut the crown out of a briefcase, and replaced everything in under a minute.”

“Yeah, I guess you helped a little.” Y/n stuck her tongue out and returned back to her and Steph. “But our fake argument was super convincing. And all of a sudden, we had to make it longer, and we did!” She took the crown from Cass and stuck it in a filing drawer. ”Anyways, now all we gotta do is guard this drawer until midnight, and the best part is that Wayne has absolutely no idea.”

From inside his office, Wayne towered diabolically over his monitor which showed the video feed and sound from the bullpen, the camera and microphone pointed directly at Y/n’s desk. “She is such a fool,” Captain Wayne said. “Yes, believe I'm the fool. You fool.”

“So we wanted Y/n to take the crown?” Dick asked, peering over his shoulder.

“Sergeant, are you familiar with the Hungarian fencing term, Hosszú Gorcs?”

“You gotta realise my answer is no,” Dick deadpanned.

Wayne explained, “it’s a strategy of letting your opponent win points early on as to give them a sense of overconfidence, thus exposing a much easier target for you later.”

“You think she's overconfident enough?”

From the monitor, Y/n proclaimed, “I'm the smartest woman alive. I'm never gonna die!”

Damian was doing his best to ignore Steph when a knock sounded on the door. Stephanie grinned and said in a high-pitched voice, “oop, I wasn't expecting anyone.” She threw open the door with a flourish. “Come in, Jon.”

A tall, muscular man with dark windswept hair entered the room, smiling brightly. “Hey, Steph. What’s up?”

Steph turned back to Damian. “Dami, this was the boy I was telling you about.”

Damian’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he regained his composure and glared at Stephanie. “I know what's happening. This isn't a setup... this is a setup. He’s supposed to distract me from the heist.”

“The heist?” Jon asked, glancing at Steph.

“Shut your cute face,” Damian snapped before scoffing. “I don't buy it. This is an obvious trap and I expected better of you Stephanie. I thought you were one of the smart ones.” He turned back to Jon. “Who are you, really, Jon? If that even is your real name…” He poked Jon in the chest and pushed him towards the door. “Okay. Bye-bye, Jon!”

“Hey, Cass,” Dick shuffled up to her, knowing he was probably about to lose one of his nine lives. “I'm not saying these are from your motorcycle,” He held up a pair of handlebars. “But... I found these outside.”

Cass’ nostrils flared. “You better not have messed with my bike for this heist.” Her voice was laced with venom. ”Let me remind you, Sarge, I'm carrying a weapon and I’m not afraid to stick it to the man.”

“We all have the same weapon, Cain,” Dick deadpanned. However, when Cass pulled out an SRK, he exclaimed, “Geez, Cass! Where'd you get that?” Cass grumbled a swear and stalked off. Relieved he hadn’t died, Dick said into a comm, “Orphan has left the nest.” He swept out of the room.

“And…” Captain Wayne folded his hands together, smirking. “Ding.” On cue, the elevator opened, emitting a ding.

“You wanna see Daddy?” Kori led her daughters into the bullpen. “Come on!” Martha and Tammy were dressed in small replicas of police uniforms for Halloween, clutching pumpkin candy bags in their fists. They had just turned three and looked absolutely adorable with identical pigtails.

“Time for the twin twist,” Wayne said. “And I love a good use of alliteration.” 

“Hey, Y/n.” Kori greeted her friend.

“Hey, guys!” Y/n cooed at her goddaughters.

“We wanted to surprise Dick. Have you seen him?”

“Oh, he just went downstairs for a bit, but he should be back soon,” Y/n said.

Kori nodded and called to her twins, “Martha? Tammy? Do you guys want to take a picture with Auntie Y/n?”

“Yeah!” Martha abandoned poking a sleeping Jason and Tammy looked up from inspecting a pair of handcuffs. Y/n’s eyes narrowed at the question.

“You don't mind, do you?”

“Uh... no, of course not.” Y/n began nodding slowly. “That would be so fun.”

“What if we do it in the briefing room, like you're assigning them a case?” Kori was a perfect actress, delivering her lines with ease.

Y/n hesitated and glanced around for a sign of Damian, Wayne, or Dick. “No, I mean, you know what would be even more fun than that... is if we took a picture right here, and I could have my hand on this cabinet.” She smiled broadly, laughing loudly.

“Okay,” Kori conceded.

“Nailed it,” Y/n congratulated herself quietly.

From outside the window on the precinct deck, Captain Wayne could be seen peeking through, carefully watching Y/n and her filing cabinet.

“Here we go…” Kori held up her camera. Wayne slowly opened the window and rolled through it, crouching on the ground. “Oh, God, it was in video mode... sorry.”

“Take your time,” Y/n reassured her. “I could do this all day. Matter of fact, what if we did one where I had both hands on the cabinet... one on top, and then one on the front?” She took her arms from around the twins and placed them on her cabinet. Wayne crawled to the backside of the cabinet and took out a silenced drill. He began unscrewing the bolts of the backside of the cabinet.

“Uh, yeah? Looks good.” Kori held up her phone again as Wayne stealthily took off the back of the cabinet and extracted the crown from inside. “All right, smile... three, two, one…” The camera snapped just as Wayne stood up and showcased the crown in the picture. “Cheese! Very good.” Kori beamed and gestured to her girls. Wayne somersaulted, akin to Cass, into the break room. ”Great, you guys. Let's find Daddy!”

Y/n snickered and muttered, “daddy.”

As Wayne straightened up, the witch decoration cackled loudly. At the sound, Y/n shot out of her seat and Jason startled from his sleep. “What's going on?” She ran to the break room where Wayne threw the crown into the trash to conceal it. “Aha!” Y/n points an assuring finger towards him. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing…”  Wayne looked around and spotted a can of soda. He picked it up and studied it. “Just enjoying a taste of my favourite beverage, the… soda pop.”

Y/n glared at him. “Really? I have never seen you enjoy soda before.” She clicked her tongue and tilted her chin up. “Why… uh, why don’t you have some now?”

Wayne stared at her, a look of contempt and hatred deep in his gaze. Not breaking eye contact, he took a sip. “It's delicious,” he said, grimacing.

“I don't buy it,” Y/n sneered. “You're making the same face you made when you found a chocolate chip in your trail mix!” She shook her head. “Something's up. I'm patting you down,” she decided. “Though I hope it’s not weird though, work dad. It’s just for the heist.”

“Of course,” Wayne nodded and held out his arms.

Y/n patted him down quickly and swore. “Fuck, nothing but a surprisingly toned set of abs!”

Wayne raised a brow. “And why would I have the crown, L/n? Isn't it still in the interrogation room?”

Y/n put her hands on her hips. “Yes. Yes. Of course. Of course it's still in there!” She sucked in a breath and conceded, ”Welp, I guess I'll see you at midnight.”

“After you.”

“No, after you,” Y/n smiled tightly.

“I insist.”

Y/n glowered and moved past time, triggering the witch again.

Later, Dick met up with Wayne in his office again. “You drank a soda? I’m not sure that's the worst thing in the world.”

Wayne shook his head and looked at Dick like he was delusional. “It was the worst thing in the world... worse than a fruit-forward Riesling.“ He held up a hand to stop Dick from speaking. “And no, I'm not exaggerating. Anyway, I cleverly ditched the crown in a trash can. We must wait a moment so as to not arouse suspicion when we retrieve it.”

“Got it.” Dick moved towards the door then looked back at his capitan and snickered. “Hey... while I'm in there, should I get you a soda?”

“I know you're joking, but on the off chance you aren't… No.”

“The handlebar thing was fake,” Cass announced as she marched back into the bullpen. ”They were trying to distract me. I think they made a play for the crown.”

“I thought so too, but I had my hand on the cabinet the whole time, so I'm pretty confident there's no way they could have gotten it.” Y/n said before opening the drawer to reveal an empty cabinet. “They got it.”

“Look at the back.” Cass squatted and pointed to the cabinet. “The screws are loose.”

“Damn it.” Y/n slammed her fist on her desk. “That son of a bitch is good.”

“Sir, we have a problem.” Dick rushed back into Wayne’s office. “The crown wasn't in the trash can. Y/n must have taken it back.”

“Damn it.” Wayne slammed his fist on his desk. “That son of a bitch is good.”

“We have to get that crown back!” Y/n exclaimed. “I already changed my email to "queeny/nrulez" with a z. Everyone's going to think I'm an idiot!”

“Hello, L/n,” Wayne glared at his detective.

“Captain,” Y/n greeted stoically. “Midnight nears.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Tick tock.”

“Tick tock indeed.”

“But tick tock for who?” Y/n hissed.

“It's ‘for whom.’” Wayne corrected.

“Don't try to provoke me!” Y/n cried out.

At the same time, both captain and detective declared, “I'm going to get that crown back!”

“Wait... what?” Y/n paused and squinted at Wayne.

“Huh?” Wayne shook his head. “Will you excuse me for a moment?”

“Yes, I too need to be excused,” Y/n stuttered.

Y/n pushed Cass into the briefing room and whispered sharply, “he doesn't have the crown! Cass, what do we do?”

“Pull the security tape,” she decided.

Damian stepped back into the interrogation room after Dick had informed him of the events. “Richard said you stole the crown when Y/n came through the ceiling,” he hummed.

“Yeah, I can't believe you fell for that,” Steph shrugged. ”You really think I'd mark the wrong vent? I've never marked a wrong vent in my life!”

“You're incredibly intense about vents,” Damian commented. He paused and then said, “wait... so Jon wasn't a distraction?”

“No, he was very real. Handsome, cool, hair as thick as a collie's. I found you the perfect guy, and you drove him off,” Steph said.

“Ugh.” Dami’s head fell into his hands. “I’m sorry. I should have trusted you. Please call him and tell him I messed up.”

“Yay!” Steph squealed.

“Alright,” Y/n and Cass poured over the security tape. “Here I am taking pictures with Dick’s kids.” She sighed and said lovingly, “man, I look so cool standing next to them. Should I have Jason’s kids?” Jason lifted his head up from the next-door table and groaned questioningly. “Go back to sleep, love,” Y/n reached over and patted his head.

“Okay. It's Wayne.” Cass watched as Bruce tumbled through the window and extracted the crown. “Whoa, how did he do that?”

“Man has an insane set of abs,” Y/n explained. “Oh, look, he's got the crown. And he's headed to the break room.”

“He dumped it in the trash,” Cass narrated, exhaling. She fast forwarded the video. “Did he go back and get it?”

In the feed, a janitor slumped in the room and pulled the trash bag out before hauling it away. “The janitor came in and grabbed it. But which janitor? Looks like I'm going to have to squint.” Y/n pushed her face close to the computer and glared at the screen. “Her name is Alice… Alice the janitor.” She glanced at the clock and mumbled, “it's eleven p.m. now. Alice's long gone.”

“How are we going to get her home address?”

“Who's the one person you know who sends out holiday cards to every single employee?” Y/n grinned.

“Tim!” Cass shouted out.

“What do you want, L/n?” Tim didn’t look up from his computer.

“What?” Y/n scoffed and brushed him away. “Why would you assume that I want anything? What I want is to apologise to my bestie, who I hurt.”

“It's ‘whom,’” Tim corrected.

“Why does the word ‘who’ even exist if you're not allowed to say it?!” Y/n huffed. “Anyways, now that I've apologised and you've accepted, can you please give me janitor Alice’s address?”

“This is related to your heist, isn't it?”

Y/n shook her head and stumbled over her words. “No, no. It's- uh, about a crime. I think janitor Alice is... going to kill the president.”

Wayne strolled up to Tim’s desk. “Oh, Drake. There's my protégé.”

Tim took a breath. “Let me guess? You want the janitor's address.”

Wayne looked up at the ceiling and then down to the ground. “Janitor? Address? Alice?”

“I never said her name,” Tim pointed out. He then leaned back in his chair. “Well, isn't this nice? After being excluded by both of you, here I am with the power to decide who wins and who loses your little heist.”

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” Wayne interrupted. ”You are my wisest detective.”

“Pathetic,” Y/n spat. “He can't be manipulated, sir.” She then turned to Tim and begged, “Tim, we are best friends! I know I usually reserve that title for Steph, but now’s a good time for you to take that, huh?”

“Friendship? Ha.” Wayne gawaffed. “What's friendship compared to the respect of a workplace superior?”

Y/n looked around desperately before bending some on one knee. “Timothy Drake, will you-”

“Excuse me?!” Jason shot up from his desk.

“Enough!” Tim yelled out, silencing everyone. “Pretending to be nice to me is worse than being mean. You know what? You want the address?” He picked up his phone and typed away. “Here, you can both have it.” Both Bruce and Y/n’s phones dinged. “Hope you're happy, you selfish monsters.” He stomped to his feet and slammed the break room door shut.

Y/n groaned and murmured, “I feel terrible. We should apologise.”

“Yes, I agree,” Wane said. “You definitely should now; I'll do mine later.”

“Fat chance!” Y/n snarled. “Steph!” she yelled into her comm. “I need you. Meet me downstairs.” 

Y/n, Cass, and Steph stood on the front steps to a tall apartment building, glaring up at it. “Okay, she lives on the sixteenth floor,” Y/n announced. “I think we beat Wayne here.”

“Or did you?” Their Captain appeared behind them, Dick and Damian in tow.

“I'll get the elevator,” Steph offered. When she noticed the ‘Out of Order’ sign, she cried out, “Shit! Looks like we're taking the stairs.”

“Alright, it's sixteen floors,” Cass breathed out. “Pace yourselves.”

Wayne’s team dashed ahead of them and Y/n screamed, “Forget it. Run as fast as you can!”

After a gruelling sixteen floors, Y/n pushed Wayne out of the way and slammed her fist into Alice’s door. “Ha ha! I win. I knocked first.” The door opened and an old woman greeted them. “You're not Alice…” Y/n said.

“You're looking for Alice?” The old woman asked. “She’s having a cigarette on the roof.”

“The roof?” Wayne grimaced.

Y/n burst through the roof door and panted, “yes. I did it. I… I am the greatest- holy shit that’s a lotta stairs- the greatest athlete in the world.” She leaned over and promptly vomited as the rest of the six-six trouped up after her.

“Alice? Alice?” Wayne looked around. “Where's Alice?”

Y/n glanced up to see a woman standing by the edge of the roof. “Oh, there she is. There she is! I did it! I did it!”

Wayne stared at Y/n, disgusted. “Good God.” He shook his head before turning back to the woman. “Are you Alice the janitor?”

“Nope. I'm your worst nightmare.” Alice turned around and took off her cap and the wig sewn into it. 

“Tim Drake…” Y/n gasped. “I don't understand what’s happening.”

Tim chuckled deviously, yet before he could speak, Y/n piped up and said, “allow me to explain. Tim and I were ahead of you the whole time.”

“No, you aren’t part of this.” Tim shoved Y/n back towards Wayne. “Get back to the loser side, loser.”

“Worth a shot,” Y/n murmured. “So how'd you pull it off?”

“Y/n, remember when you set off the witch?” Tim asked, lips curled into a smirk. “You made Captain Wayne flinch, which was weird, since his door was closed, but not weird, since he actually heard it over a bug he planted at your desk.” Y/n’s mouth dropped open and Tim continued, “I tapped into the bug's frequencies, so I had ears on Y/n. However, I still needed to know what Wayne was up to. That's where Jason came in.”

Jason stepped out from behind the door, still wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and his nose more red and snotty than ever before. He said in a nasally voice, “I masterminded the entire plan.”

“Jason, you did one small thing and I had to explain it to you forty-five times because you accidentally took NyQuil instead of DayQuil.” Tim shook his head before beginning his speech again. “He left a tiny crack in the blinds so I could read the Captain's lips.”

"Kori and your kids will distract Y/n. They'll be here at nine-thirty sharp. My waffle xylophone on the cheese man."

“What?” Wayne asked incredulously.

“My lip-reading is not flawless,” Tim admitted. “Now that I knew your plan, it was simple to disrupt. After I got into character, Wayne triggered the witch, which brought Y/n into the room.”

“And I threw the crown in the trash can…” Wayne nodded along.

“Exactly as I planned,” Tim grinned. “Then I sent you all here, placed an out-of-order sign on the perfectly functional elevator, made you all walk up thirty-one flights of stairs, and vomit.”

Y/n grumbled and muttered, “actually, it was three times, if you count all the stairwell stuff.”

“I'm my own person, capable of making my own decisions, and I decided to humiliate you both,” Tim finished his speech.

“One last question: where's the crown?” Wayne asked.

“Oh, it's at Orin’s Bar, the official site of my coronation.”

Tim strode into the bar, decked out in a royal cape and sash. Wayne held up the crown and declared, “all hail the crown of destiny.” The precinct cheered as their capitan concluded, “and all hail who wear it, Tim Drake, the ruler of the six-six.”

“And I believe there's something else you both need to say,” Tim snarked.

Both Bruce and Y/n said, “Tim Drake is an amazing detective-slash-genius.”

“Drinks are on us!” Wayne shouted. Y/n shook her head and he corrected himself. “Drinks are on me.”

“Heyyyyyy Y/n…” Jason sniffed as Y/n helped him through the door of his apartment. “I forgot to tell you but I think I broke up with Rose.”

“You think?” Y/n chuckled. “How about you tell me when you’re not hyped up on meds?”

“I will.” Jason fell down onto his bed. “I’ll also tell you I love ya.”

Y/n stilled and flushed. “O-oh? Really?”

“Yeah.” Jason sniffed once more before falling asleep, snoring loudly. 

Y/n swallowed before leaning down and kissing his forehead. His fever had finally broken. “I’m gonna make you some soup,” she whispered, “and you better eat it tomorrow. I already told Wayne that you’re not coming into work tomorrow, so don’t you dare try to pull another stunt like today.” She moved out of his room and before Y/n closed the door, she smiled softly. “I love you too, Jason Todd.”

[arsontisticallyinfernal]

🗯️Hell-o hello ‼️ I came across with your Request Rules blog and then I had a minor ask idea,,,

(Headcanon, perhaps seperately if your write for so many at once ^^') What would it be like for the demons and the purgatory hall to have GN!Reader who's like a master level chef👨‍🍳 Like they make such amazing food to the point it's *chef's kiss*.

BUT‼️ (But?😨) There is a catch . . Masterchef!Reader doesn't want to be disturbed while cooking due to being afraid one of them will do something that'll turn the whole dish upside down. So afraid to the point they will yell to leave before they touch anything. Though they will only let Luke and Barabatoes(Barbatos) stay because they know they can trust them

"EVERYONE GET THE FCK OUT BEFORE YOU CURSE THW FOOD OR SOMETHING THE FOOD ISN'T DONE😡"

"Except you, Luke and Barbatos bcs ik I can trust you 🥰☺️"

- Orange Anon

YES, I LOVE THIS ORANGE ANON, YOUR A GENIUS!! And I'll be doing them all in one post, so it's gonna be long

btw I didn't add in Rapheal cause I didn't know if you wanted the newer characters as well, I'll make a separate one for them if so

Reacting to Masterchef!reader + The demons + Purgatory hall

Pronouns: They/them for reader, He/him for everyone else

Genre: Neutral, not fluff and not angst, leaning on fluff with Barb and Luke

Characters: The demon bros, Diavolo, Barbatos and Purgatory hall

Fandom: Obey me

Warnings: swearing

Edited/proofread: No

It was a night at the demon lords castle, and the human was cooking tonight. All of purgatory hall, house of lamentation and the demon prince with his butler were there, nearby them. Midway they were cooking they felt anxiousness bubbling up within their stomach and let out the loudest yell they ever shrieked "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU MIGHT CURSE THE FOOD OR SOMETHING!"

All eyes directed to them in shock, but the human spoke once again "Besides for you two, I trust you two" they stated, pointing to Barbatos and Luke

Diavolo

He's very curious as of how you make such amazing dishes, so he would want to see you cooking up close to see exactly how you make these spectacular foods!

When you let out that yell, he was shocked, but understood how you felt...er- or at least tried to. He respected what you wanted though and left the kitchen. In his opinion, as long as he ate your amazing cooking, it was worth it.

Barbatos

He has tried your cooking once during that retreat back in lesson 7, he thought it was decent for a human and would like to have it again, maybe he'd even teach you how to cook some devildom dishes.

When you yelled out, he was almost already gone out of the kitchen, but once you pointed to him, he walked right back. He will so for sure teach you how to cook certain devildom food now. He's actually quite glad you trust him to be around you when cooking.

Lucifer

He's ate your food before, and absolutely loves it. He particularly likes it when you cook for him late at night when he's staying up working, so he appreciates your cooking, human food or not.

The moment you told everyone to leave, ouch, his pride just got stabbed, not like he'd admit to it ever though. He'll still walk out of the kitchen, after all you did request for everyone besides for the chihuahua and butler to leave.

Mammon

He doesn't care much about your cooking; he thinks it's pretty good for human food but could care less. Still make it for him, he craves it.

How dare you make him leave the kitchen! Lucifer had to drag him out of the kitchen so you’d be left alone. [not counting Barb and Luke] You bet he tried to sneak back into the kitchen but got caught by Luke.

Leviathan

To be bluntly honest, he probably wasn’t even in the kitchen in the first place, he’d probably be hiding somewhere on his phone. I’d honestly would be doing the same.

He could hear your shout, and honestly, he thought it was an anime protagonist yelling before powering up. 

Satan

No opinion on your cooking, he enjoys it and if it is cat friendly, he feeds the stray cats any leftovers of your cooking.

Wasn’t even in the kitchen in the first place, though he definitely could sense your building wrath, so he wasn’t surprised you yelled. He felt satisfaction when he saw the look on Lucifer’s face, he could easily tell that Lucifer’s pride got struck a bit.

Asmodeus

He LOVES your cooking as long as it doesn’t have too many calories, he thinks it’s absolutely delicious.

Oh he had to hold in the laugh when he saw Mammon’s face when you shouted, it was priceless! He even got a picture and posted it to devilgram. But his own reaction to you shouting? He felt a bit hurt, why don’t you want Asmodeus in the kitchen near you? But he listened anyways, he for sure filmed Mammon trying to get back into the kitchen

Beelzebub

Give him your food, he wants it. Beel adores your food a lot, just like any food he eats. Cook for him, he loves it when you cook for him.

He didn’t care that you yelled, and he just simply left. As long as he gets to get your food, he’s happy.

Belphegor

He thinks your cooking is fine for a human, he’ll eat your food if you do cook.

He was sleeping and not even you shouting woke Belphie up. He eats the food once done, he thinks it’s good. 

Simeon

Cook for Simeon more, he’ll love you even more if you do. Plus, he want’s someone besides Solomon to cook.

Was at the table like the gentleman and angel he is, though he was very startled when he heard you, yelling at everyone to leave the kitchen. Was confused when Luke and Barbatos didn’t walk out, but Lucifer explained to Simeon that you let the two stay. He loves you even more 

Solomon

Thinks your cooking is fine, but could use some work. He is so willing to “teach” you. Too bad he doesn’t know.

For sure was standing right beside you, trying to tell you how to cook. With that shout he quickly made his way out of the kitchen, he’ll have to teach you another time.

Luke

AAAAAAAAAAAA- please replace Solomon and move into Purgatory hall and cook for Simeon and him instead, please. But besides that, he enjoys your food, Luke has definitely taught you how to cook some celestial pastries before.

Was about to follow Barbatos out of the kitchen, but when you pointed to him? He stayed, standing by your side. Can you teach him how to cook your human world foods? Please?

-------

Hopefully I didn’t butcher your request or any of their personalities, hope you enjoyed! istg there might be so many grammar errors so don’t mind that-

Feel free to come by again and request. And if you[the reader] haven’t requested before, feel free to, no pressure ^^

[aforrestofstuff]

All according to plan.

Anyways, here the Chapter 155 Expert Review Super Bonanza Spectacular: Now 50% Off!

I’m really tired and I’m getting pretty bad at doing these so this is gonna be quick because the newest chapter got delayed 2 weeks! Boy Murata sure is lazy! (This is sarcasm please don’t kill me).

Enjoy! You have no choice :)

Flashy Flash Ass Shot Number 37 (this month).

Within the year 2022, Murata is just gonna start drawing his dick outline through the suit huh. Maybe even give him pointy tinfoil hat nipples like Fubuki since we’re already like 80% there.

I think this King panel is cute. He’s so happy :) but I also think it’s really funny that he’s just screaming at the top of his lungs as is shown with not one, not two, but THREE exclamation points. When was the last time you saw a grown ass white man lean forward, open his mouth all the way, and scream. When was the last time anyone heard that with their real life human ears. Everyone on that battlefield is looking over their shoulder and questioning whether or not they’d get their shit kicked in if they told him to shut up.

Also, he’s doing this at the sight of Saitama coming back from the shadow realm (with Mike Wazowski and the juiciest little piece of ass on the planet [Flashy]). Homosexual behavior. See that blush? Murata might as well draw him getting a full boner. (This is also sarcasm please don’t kill me)

I don’t know why I think this is so funny like he’s got NO ARMS OR LEGS 😭😭 HES BARELY ALIVE DUDE STOP TOUCHING HIS HEART HOLY SHIT.

“Bro, your heart got stronger because of the battle bro.”

“No, bro. My heart got stronger because of you.”

“Bro…”

“Bro…”

I love these two shits so much. Look at Genos’ over-dramatic puppy stare. It’s like he’s front row at a Beyoncé concert.

Everyone talks about King’s plot armor but what about Saitama? More specifically, the plot armor his teacher relationship to Genos has. Fucker doesn’t do anything and it’s like the most amazing shit to Robocop over here. I think it’s hilarious. I wouldn’t mind if they continued it until the end of the series because it’s such a good running bit, and when it’s not being used as a funny bit, it’s being used as a sentimental one. Saitama doesn’t even have to try. He’s just that inspiring.

I mean, for most guys, when you work out every day for 3 years straight to such extremes, people just say you have depression. Which is also true for Saitama, but he got powers and— I forgot my point.

Drinking a gallon of GFuel every day has crippled King’s kidneys and he now pees out stones the size of the Crown Jewels.

This is hilarious. “I’m glad you made it Mr. Saitama, yeah!” Okay Pokémon dialogue. I know shit gets lost in translation and that makes some of the dialogue seem ham-fisted, but I like the idea of King unironically saying Mr. Saitama while the S-Class is around just to seem more put-together and professional. He’s like thirty, right? But he’s a bigass nerd loser (with kidney stones), it just seems like the kind of thing he would do. It’s either that or him calling everyone bro.

I’m not reading all that. Good for you, or sorry that happened.

Me at age 15, dungeon master to my friend’s shitty dnd circle and trying to come up with a cool name to the magic system I made up like ten minutes prior.

It is funny imagining him during his dojo-busting days or whatever. I imagine the teachers would talk to each other like ���oh be careful! Garou fucked my shit up so make sure you’re super cautious.” and then the other guy would be like “nonsense! My disciples are super talented and shit. We’ll fuck him up!” And then their disciples actually suck and they get their shit pushed in. Repeat 30x

Now, I know this means jack shit coming from a dumbfuck but a big part of being intelligent is your capacity to learn! Garou absorbs shit like a sponge at 90mph! He’s a genius, but we already knew that. It’s just funny that he’s dumb and smart at the same time, which is inherent when you’re 18 and haven’t been to school in like 8 years and also 18. He’s 18 and he’s dumb. Did I say that? He’s stupid. Fuck him. I’m gonna hit him with my car. Deflect this Nissan Altima 2020, dumbass.

Garou is a dirty hypocrite and that’s good! — Words you never thought I would say.

At first I got annoyed at this but now I think it’s pretty cool (if done on purpose).

“You’re a hero, yet you sucker punch me like that?” Sir can we rewind to when you beat Mumen Rider, who was defenseless at the time (and ALSO took a punch for you), to the brink of death? Could we also rewind to that time you literally walked up to Golden Ball while he was off duty and committing the crime of—checks notes—getting a drink, and decided fuck him up for no reason?

Also, going to him getting upset at being ganged up on by the heroes at the shed fight: would you or would you not also round up your homies if you knew some bigass shit was beating the hell out of your coworkers for no reason? I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, or that I condone it, but I understand, man! This was after Garou took out TWO S-Class heroes, they knew he’d be hard to get, and that’s his fault for knocking people’s shit around in the first place! Consequences of your actions, bitch!

And he was disgusted with their behavior because the heroes were doing it for themselves and not public safety (or just… general pursuit of justice I guess?), which is probably true, but like… do they need to do it for public safety? He obviously wasn’t hurting civilians. The heroes acted out of self-defense, because they had in their minds that any one of them could be next if they hadn’t at least tried to snuff him out. Garou KNEW he had the upper hand even while fevered, and he used their own weapons against them, and their own bodies against them.

So him saying that to Flashy Flash after all he’s done—after attacking and traumatizing and injuring innocent people while he knew he had the advantage MULTIPLE times, is ironic. He’s a hypocrite. And I think that’s cool, because it’s a very human trait to have.

Even Saitama is kinda guilty of it. He gave the credit of killing the Deep Sea King to the other heroes, and then later on complains that he gets no recognition or credit for the work he does. People often say one thing and then do another, and that’s a cool thing that characters need to do more.

(You could argue that Garou is a monster so the same standards of “heroism” don’t apply, but he’s still a hypocrite! Berating others for doing the same shit you’re doing/have done is literally the definition of it lmao. His whole arc is him turning into the very thing he despises: a bully. Still love him tho! He’s a cool character.)

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist.

Evil Natural Ocean blinking once just cost the taxpayers 5.7 trillion dollars and that is NOT an exaggeration.

I really love this panel. I can tell Murata likes drawing jets and military shit because he always goes all-out. That’s all I have to say about it, I just wanted to make everyone look at it again :)

In conclusion: character flaws are good. I’m pretty sure the country OPM takes place in is bankrupt. Genos is one Death Grips track away from dying. King is going through kidney failure right the fuck now. And most importantly: lots of cardio gets you a fat ass, evidently. Happy new year, everyone. Thanks for reading.

[howlingday]

Ruby: Jaune, what happened?!

Jaune: I, uh-

Pyrrha: We saw the news about Torchwick attacking the city, and the we saw the footage of you, and-

Nora: You were so cool!

Ren: Are you injured?

Yang: Not bad, Vomit Boy. Not everyone can go against Torchie and come out on top, y'know.

Nora: How'd you do it?!

Jaune: I, uh-

Roman: You! (Climbs out of the rubble) Yes, you, Jaune Arc!

Jaune: Oh, come on! (Gets defensive, Everyone else joining him)

Roman: You were amazing!

Jaune: Saywhatnow?

Roman: You took out my men, managed to outwit Neo, and stop my rampage all in one night! You even fooled me into blowing my hideout! Truly spectacular!

Jaune: Um, thank you? I mean, most of that was on the fly, really. I mean, I just kind of followed my gut.

Roman: No planning! Ha! Even better! (Laughing, Applauding)

Ruby: Uh, what is going on?

Roman: I'll tell you what's going on! After clawing my way up the criminal empire to become the genius mastermind you see, I have finally found my purpose! My meaning! My destiny! (Drops to one knee, Takes Jaune's hand)

Ruby: Gah!

Yang: Woah!

Pyrrha: Huh?!

Neo: (Shocked)

Nora/Blake: (Thinking) THIS IS JUST LIKE MY FAN FIC!

Jaune: W-What are you doing?!

Roman: (Bows his head) Jaune Arc, would you do me the honor (Looks up with stars in his eyes) of becoming my arch-nemesis?

Jaune: Huh?

Roman: I don't want to battle anybody else! To hell with Red and her friends! I want you! To die! A lot! Like, I really want you dead! I want to watch the light die from your eyes as I rebuild my criminal empire over your rotting corpse!

Pyrrha: It's... oddly sweet. (Thinking) And so relatable.

Roman: What do you say? Enemies for life?

Jaune: Um... (Looks at his friends, Everyone's shaking their heads) Sure?

Roman: (Leaps to his feet, Cackles maniacally with glee) Suck it, Red! I have a new arch-nemesis now! How does that make you feel?

Ruby: Somehow both relieved and worried at the same time.

Roman: Oh, Red. Still just a child, I see. Come on, Jaune Arc, let's show her what a real rivalry looks like!

Jaune: Uh, sure. (Points to his chest) But you should get this blood cleaned off first.

Roman: Huh? Blood? (Looks down)

Jaune: (Flicks up)

Roman: Gah! (Laughs) Oh, you! Until next time, (Disappears with Neo) Jaune Arc.

Jaune: Huh... That was weird.

[valwentinefics]

🖤🖤Can I request possessive Zemo x f reader smut please and they're best friends until zemo notices she's teaching Bucky chess and masturbates to him? but really she beat Zemo at his own game and orchestrated it to fw him so he would shoot his shot

A/N: Thank you for the request, I love writing possessive smut omg. I’m feeling pretty good about this smut, I think I’m starting to get the hang of it even though I gotta start making them longer! Also German nicknames? MWAH, perfect, amazing, spectacular.

Checkmate - Helmut Zemo x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut, possessive behavior, what reader does could be considered manipulation, Dom! Zemo Sub! Reader

Translations: Liebling (darling) Du gehörst mir jetzt, mein süßes Mädchen, ganz mir (You are mine now, my sweet girl, all mine)

Word count: 1567

Y/n wasn’t the most confident girl. Sure, she could fight and shoot a gun as good as her other criminal friends, but when it came to shooting her shot with a guy she froze. Especially when that guy was the perfect man in her eyes. Smart, caring, skilled, Baron Helmut Zemo was everything Y/n wanted in a man, especially when it came to looks. However they had been at the friendship stage for years, and Zemo hadn’t made a move. Y/n knew if she wanted to have a chance with him, she would have to take a page from his book.

“And then you move your knight there,” Y/n smiled softly at Bucky as he moved the chess piece to the spot she had pointed at on the board. The warm sunlight drifted through the windows and settled on the two, painting them with a golden hue.

“So I say checkmate now?” Asked Bucky, looking at the pieces. Y/n had to admit he looked amazing as he gazed at the board, a few strands of hair out of place and falling into his face as his icy blue orbs studied the board, his muscles straining the white muscle shirt he had on. 

“Yes James, you say checkmate now.” Y/n giggled at his cluelessness, earning a slight smile from the usually stoic man. Y/n and Bucky had become surprisingly close during their time together, despite her being Zemo’s closest thing to a best friend.

A door opening interrupted the two from looking into each other's eyes, Zemo stepped into the room, a scowl appearing on his face as he noticed the two while heading to the kitchen to make tea. It took everything within Y/n to not stare at the man, to not imagine his hands sliding down her waist, his lips kissing at her neck. She inhaled sharply and turned her attention back to Bucky.

“So what should we play next?” Y/n asked as she looked at the attractive man in front of her, licking her lips as she leaned in to grab a chess piece closer to Bucky, her cleavage fully on display.

“Y/n!” Zemo called, harshly placing down his tea pot. “I need you to carry some things for me.” Bucky looked as if he was going to offer some help, but Y/n placed her hand on his, letting him know silently that she could do it herself.

-

Y/n wished she had accepted Bucky's help. Her whole body felt sore as she entered her room, muscles aching from lifting heavy boxes. She laid down on her bed, naked from the bath she had just come out of. Sinking into the plush mattress she closed her eyes, only to find that sleep wasn’t coming for her after a few minutes of laying down. With a groan Y/n sat up, leaning against the abundant pillows on her bed, when her most genius idea came to mind. Bucky and Sam’s rooms were across the house, so no one but Zemo whose room was right beside hers would hear what she had in store.

Y/n slipped off her panties, rubbing her clit as she began to grow wet, thinking of Zemo as she grew hornier. Imagining his hands grabbing at her chest and ass as he kissed down her stomach to her dripping pussy.  She stuck two fingers in and curled them, letting out a small moan but loud enough for the man in the next room to hear. 

“Oh yes Bucky!”

The reaction was almost instant, her door that she purposely left unlocked swung open to reveal Zemo, seething with rage. His face softened when he realized it was just Y/n in the room, dressed in nothing but an old shirt of his that he let her borrow. 

“What were you doing?” Asked the man as he approached with slow careful steps, looking intimidating in a sexy way, even in his robe.

“Nothing Helmut,” replied Y/n, looking up at him innocently. 

His hand grabbed Y/n’s jaw gently, his thumb softly stroking her bottom lip. “Are you sure liebling? Because I thought I heard you moaning another man’s name. Perhaps I was mistaken. Or, you are hiding something from me.” 

Y/n recognized the look of dominance and need in his eyes, one she had seen in many men before him, none of which could even begin to compare to Zemo. Instead of replying Y/n sucked on his thumb, wishing it was his cock inside her mouth instead. Hesitantly Zemo pulled his thumb out of her mouth, giving her a small pat on the cheek.

“I asked you a question, it’s rude not to respond.” He said sternly, his tone making Y/n melt.

“I was touching myself, I moaned James’ name…” Y/n looked away from the man as she felt herself compelled to confess, only for his hand to turn her head back to face him.

“Oh liebling, if you needed a man to fulfill your needs you should have come to me, but unfortunately you had to make things complicated.” Y/n squirmed under his heavy gaze, feeling the wetness pool between her thighs. She rubbed them together to try to get any bit of relief but it was unsuccessful. Zemo let out a small chuckle, his finger running up her thigh to her folds, threatening to push into her wet cunt. “But don’t worry liebling, I’ll make this better. I’ll show you who you belong to.”

His hands swiftly undid his robe before he climbed on top of y/n. His hands slid to the hem of the shirt she wore, pulling it off quickly before attacking her left breast with kisses, his hand kneading the other one with restrained roughness. Y/n moaned at the sensation, her hands grabbing at his hair, pushing his face further into her chest.

Zemo pulled away for a moment before kissing down her chest and stomach slowly, sucking and biting on the unmarked skin to claim it as his own, the spots were bound to turn to hickies by the morning. During this his hand wandered down to her clit, his fingers rubbing the bud of flesh, eliciting whimpering moans from Y/n. All she could think about was his cock and how much she needed all his inches in her. 

Zemo seemed to catch on, leaving one last hickey on her skin before pulling his face away and moving his hand to grasp Y/n’s hip, holding her as he lined up his cock with her entrance, pushing in with a deep, swift, thrust of his hips. Y/n let out a drawn out moan, Zemo lifting up her legs to sit atop his shoulders as he began to slowly thrust in and out. Y/n grew impatient, wishing to be fucked into the mattress. 

“Patience liebling, your body is mine, I’ll do what I want with it at whatever pace I want,” He said sternly as he quickly shoved his cock deep into Y/n’s hole before continuing his torturously slow pace.

“Helmut please please please, I need you to go faster, I need you to ruin me,” Y/n begged, whimpering for a faster pace.A mischievous glint shone in Zemo’s eyes as he readjusted her legs on his shoulders.

“Be careful what you wish for liebling,” he  smirked before roughly shoving himself into Y/n’s tight hole, eliciting a loud moan from her. One hand held Y/n down by her chest as he pounded into her relentlessly, the other rubbed her clit, filling Y/n with inexplicable pleasure, her body would be writhing around if not for Zemo’s strong hand holding her still. 

“Oh, Zemo, fuck!” Y/n moaned, drooling a bit from the pleasure he was bringing her. With her body constantly being pounded into the mattress it was a wonder she was able to get out those words through her unending string of moans.

“You like that huh? You like my cock filling up your holes, stretching out your tight little cunt? Could James make you feel like this?” He growled to Y/n whose whimpering moans filled the room. “You’re mine liebling, all mine. My perfect girl.”

Y/n felt a knot in her lower stomach tighten, knowing her orgasm was near. “Hel-Helmut-” She could hardly get his name out through her moans as she felt herself be fucked into the bed below her, only able to think of how good Zemo was pounding into her.

“Are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum for me? Cum on my cock liebling.” He commanded, Y/n obeying soon after, letting out a loud moan as she felt her orgasm wash over her, leaving her panting tiredly on the bed as she felt her entire body buzz with pleasure. Zemo pulled out soon after, spilling his warm thick cum onto Y/n’s stomach before wiping it up with an old towel she had discarded in the hamper near the bed. 

Zemo laid beside Y/n, pulling her body into his, being careful to be gentle after how hard he had fucked her. His finger traced the hickeys she had covering her chest and stomach, his warm breath tickling her ear as he muttered into it. 

“Du gehörst mir jetzt, mein süßes Mädchen, ganz mir.”

[iloveitwhen]

how about tim and marinette jokingly planning world domination and then accidentally carrying it out (to the annoyance of the batfam)??

this was so fun to write and I hope it makes sense! Marinette and Tim are extremely delirious so it was hard to share their thoughts while also having it make sense to the readers... I hope you like it!

“Dick, stop lying! There’s no way we could have done that. There’s no way we “accidentally took over the world.” Do you really think the two of us could have taken out all seven JLA members?” 

“What day is it, Marinette?” Dick asks instead of answering her question. 

“Tuesday,” Tim answers for her. 

“And the number?”

“Nineteenth,” Marinette crosses her arms and looks at Dick impatiently. 

“It’s Saturday the 23rd,” he declares hotly. “Haven’t you been wondering why you’re so hungry this morning? The two of you have been sleeping for 32 hours and had been awake before that for almost an entire week with maybe an hour of sleep a day. But it’s ok! Because before you fell asleep we got you on camera admitting to everything that you’ve done and we have your notes, which you will have to decipher by the way because for some reason you thought it was a good idea to code everything in your notes and you are in so much trouble right now!” 

“Show us,” Marinette was now understandably a little concerned because she totally did have the weirdest dream last night. And was it really the 23rd?

Five minutes later Marinette is standing side by side with Tim watching a video on the bat computer of the two of them in the interrogation room while Dick is questioning them. 

Marinette’s head is resting on the table, clearly sleeping when Dick slams his hand on the table forcing her to snap her head up in alarm. 

“You are NOT going to sleep right now. The last time this happened you couldn’t remember a thing! Tell me everything and I’ll let you go to sleep.”

Tim who has already been sitting up but was still very much asleep and didn’t seem to be affected by Dick’s outburst snaps his eyes open. 

“How dare you!” he bellows causing Dick and Marinette to look at him in surprise, Marinette’s much more exaggerated than Dick’s, “We will never agree to these terms!”

There are a few moments of silence in the video and Tim makes a noise of embarrassment from the back of his throat while Marinette holds back laughter. 

“I wouldn’t laugh quite yet, Marinette,” Dick admonishes. 

“Wait I’m really tired though… ,” Marinette complains to Tim.

“Great!” Dick claps his hands together and turns his attention to Marinette, “after you tell me everything you can go to sleep.”

Marinette nods very seriously then takes a deep breath and shakes her shoulders as if she’s hyping herself up to start a race or lift some heavy weights. She looks at a point on the wall a few feet to the right of Dick’s head and begins speaking as if she is a narrator of a science documentary. 

Marinette cringes, some of the memories coming back to her like how she had believed she had one more mission, and that was to let the audience know the “trials and tribulations of their story” as she had so eloquently thought about it in her head. She watches as Video Marinette recounts their story remembering that she had believed it was a serious story and that the imaginary audience (that she wholeheartedly believed were watching) must understand this.  Her hand goes to her mouth in horror as she watches herself on the screen go silent and stare at the point behind Dick’s shoulder for several awkward minutes, several times throughout the video. She remembers she had been trying to portray the scene that was passing before her mind’s eye for the “audience” to see as well. Clearly it didn’t work. 

---

** italics indicate when Marinette is using her narrating voice and is staring into the “camera” 

** dashes indicate flashbacks

“It was an accident.” Marinette starts, “Really, truly an accident. You can’t blame two delirious teenagers with a combined two hours of sleep within 3 days and half a brain cell to share between them. Honestly you can’t judge them, it’s not their fault the Lustice Jeague- Justilea- Just- Justice. League. Fell for it. You just can’t. It’s not their fault the justice league-”

“Marinette.” Dick interrupts.

“Right. Did I already say that? Well, anyways, point is. Not their fault….” 

-------

Marinette pops her head suddenly and looks conspiratorially at Tim, “Hey.”

“Hmm,” not stopping his clacking away at his computer. 

“Did you know Superman’s biggest weakness is Lois Lane?”

Time grunts in response as if saying, “yeah, what about it?”

“Like, he would literally be incapable of doing anything if Lois Lane was in trouble, like if Lois Lane disappeared so would Superman.” 

“Yeah that’s crazy,” still clacking away at his computer. 

“And do you know what Batman’s biggest weakness is?” 

“Superman?” 

Marinette giggles, “that’s funny. No, his pants.” Tim’s finger’s still as he processes what Marinette just said. “Think about it. If batman has no pants then he would disappear as well. Do you really think Batman would show up anywhere if he had no pants?” A pause. “Batman must really love his pants,” Marinette adds thoughtfully.

Tim begins ferociously clacking away on his computer again. “This is amazing,” he whispers, “we can use this against them! Amazing,” he says, whispering the last word with, well, amazement. 

“I know, right? We could like… take over the world with this information or something.” 

Tim gasps, finally turning to Marinette sprawled on his bed, “we totally could!” Suddenly he looks around and lowers his voice as if sharing a secret, as if there was anyone else besides Marinette to hear anyway. Marinette sits up and leans in excitedly, “we totally could,” he repeats. 

Marinette nods her head enthusiastically, “and we can totally give it back afterwards. Like, it’s no big deal. Just to like, prove we could.” 

Tim’s eyes grow wide and he nods his head with child-like excitement, “let’s do it.” 

-------

“24 hours later, now with 7 hours of sleep between them in four days, Marinette and Tim had developed the most bestestest plan to ever grace the mise of anyone, it was-”

“Mise?” Dick interrupts again, trying to figure out what she was saying. 

Marinette scrunches her face up, “My- mizzzee- my- m- myyy-nnnd. Mind.” She finally corrects then turns her focus back to the imaginary camera, “of anyone who ever lived. It was spectacular.”

“This is horrific.”

“Exactly. So horrible that it worked miraculously. I say that totally seriously. Seriously. No, I am not a miraculous, ask Ladybug.” Marinette then switches demeanor shifts in her seat and asks: “Ladybug?” she shifts in her seat again to slightly face the opposite direction and answers herself, “Yes?” She shifts again. “Are you a miraculous?” Shifts. “No. I am not.” Marinette looks back into the imaginary camera, “See? She says Marinette is not Ladybug….” she trails off for a moment, her head slowly dropping indicating she was very close to falling asleep. 

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Marinette snaps her head back up.

“Oh but it has. Tim and Marinette had targeted every single weak point of every JMLA member, the Jumpstice League stood no chance against the duo. Tim crafted a device that tracked Lois Lane, gathering any and all data on her to mimic her, including her heartbeat and scent so that Superman would be properly duped. Setting the trap in his very own house-” she suddenly cuts herself off and looks between Tim and Dick, “by the way did you know? That man is like, super weak to Kryptonite. It would have been so much easier to know that in the beginning. And also that he has a cousin? She’s very pretty, right, Tim?” She turns to her boyfriend who is looking at her with a soft smile.

“Mmhm. You’re very pretty.” 

Marinette ignores him and continues, “So Tim and Marinette trapped him in a cage of kryptonite-”

“You did WHAT!?”

“-and he totally passed out, the two heroes are still a bit confused why he was making such a big deal about it.” Marinette pays no mind to Dick as he reaches out and shakes his hands like he wants to strangle her neck.  “Tim then crafted a signal miminicking a detest call-”

“Distress,” Dick corrects. 

“-distress call from Themyscira rendering Wonder Woman unavailable. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for us it was her birthday and since I’m good friends with Momma Wonder,” she abruptly turns to Dick and points a finger at him as if he was a five year old in trouble and adds: “that’s Queen Hipopotolia to you, Mister,” before turning back, “they threw her a total rager,” again changing her demeanor and rolls her eyes “which I’m missing right now by the way, so she’ll be gone for a few more days, those gals really know how to party…. 

“Then the Flash. He was easier than the two expected, they meanly- I mean merely, well, meanly too- slapped a speed force inhibitor around his wrists. He couldn’t tap into the speed force to vibrate through it, he couldn’t cut it off, he would definitely die including everyone else in a mile radius-” Marinette swivels her head to Dick and smacks the table,”-nuclear bombs are SUPER dangerous by the way, you really don’t want to mess with them. 

“He couldn't contact anyone, any electric device he came across was rendered useless due to Tim’s genius, once again. 

“You’re so smart, baby, they couldn't have done this without you,” she adds out of the blue looking at Tim with a proud smile 

“Mhmm. You’re so pretty,” he repeats while Dicks drops his head into his hands. 

“They knew the Flash had friends so they did what they had to and locked him in one of those big containers that you sometimes see on trains and sometimes see on big ships and is currently in the middle of the ocean. Also that inhibitor thingy works as a shock collar too so like screaming electrocutes him preeeetty bad.”

“If the JLA doesn’t kill the both of you, I will.”

“The Martian Manhunter, well, you know what they say, show, don’t tell…. Marinette looks deep into the “camera” willing it to see what she was seeing.

--------

“J’onn J'onzz.” The green alien turns around to find two young adults who looked uncharacteristically professional, hands clasped behind their straight backs and serious expressions.

“...Ladybug. Red Robin. What can I do for you?” J’onn places an alien piece of tech down to focus on the two of them. Unfortunately he could not read Ladybug’s mind when she was in the suit and Red Robin’s mind was a mess of noises and jumbled thoughts that made no sense whatsoever, except one that was a bit louder than the rest and was repeated like a mantra. 

Christmas eve, 1998. 

J’onn tensed, “What do you want,” he demanded more than asked, overly concerned about how and why that thought was in Red Robin’s mind. 

“Nothing. Exactly that. Nothing,” Ladybug responded. “We need you to leave, to go somewhere for a few days and to not resurface or interfere in any way, shape, or form. And in return we will delete anything and everything that ever existed on Christmas Eve of 1998. It’ll be like it never existed.” 

“I can’t do that.” 

Ladybug suddenly broke her composure and groaned. “Oh come oooon, We promise no one will get hurt!” she linked her hands together and gave the Martian a pout, “pleeaaseee?” 

“The last time you two were like this you “accidentally” created a multimillion dollar company solely based on cosplay.” Ladybug was not phased and Tim was still chanting Christmas Eve, 1998 in his head, the boy probably wasn’t even aware time had passed since he got there. J’onn sighed, whatever they were up to it probably wasn’t too big of a deal. “Fine. But I want proof everything is deleted.” 

“Yess, it’s a deal, big man. See you in a few days! C’mon Tim.” 

“Can I stop repeating that thing in my head now?”

------

“Marinette.”

She breaks and looks at Dick impatiently, “I’m telling a story right now, what do you want?”

“You’ve been staring at the wall for 5 minutes straight, where is Martian Manhunter?”

“Oh I don’t know, he should be back on Tuesday though,” she shrugs and nods at the same time but like a switch has been flipped she is serious again. “As for Aquaman? Well, he has his own problems in the undersea. As you know the detective of Justice is Batman, Aquaman? Not much of a detective at all. But, having a mystery that needed to be solved in the undersea would have to be done with the bat’s assistance. However, Batman had his own problems to mace. 

“Face?”

“Yes. A problem that he will never be able to solve without asking for little help of his own. Unfortunately for him, his pride and dignity was on the verge of devolution- devil- devolve… ded- destru- destruction! Also all communication to Alfred was severed and he was sent to the Bahamas to relax since Tim and Marinette promised that since Batman would not be able to be fight he would be safe.”

“Ohhh is that where he went? No wonder there was no breakfast this morning.” Tim drops his hand supporting his face and looks at Marinette in wonder. 

“Babe we went over this like one time, you should know this.”

“Oh, right, yeah… I still haven’t eaten.” Tim lays his head down on his arm sadly and promptly falls asleep. 

“And last, and definitely least, Green Lantern. Marinette, miraculoused in her all-black ninja suit- wait no- no miraculous involved, it was just black clothes,” Marinette trailed off and snorted. “I really just stole the Green Lanterns ring… It was uhhh, it was actually kind of easy….

“Marinette had slipped the ring from Hal’s hand and put it on her own, quickly and quietly slipping out the way she came but not before taking the battery thing that powers the ring and stealing every single cup in the house. The ring had then proved useful as it assisted in Marinette’s journey.”

“Wait. How?” 

Marinette shrugs as if it weren’t such a big deal when it definitely was. “I don’t know, it actually gave me a little speech about going to Goodwill and then told me I was a lantern. Wait, do you think someone would have bought me if I posed as a lantern…? Oh yeah! I totally had a green suit and everything, it was crazy. Look! I still have it,” she stuck her hand out to show Dick, the thick green ring almost making contact with his face as she practically jumped over the table to show him. “I don’t want to give it back to Hal though it’s like… a really cool ring,” she says sadly as she sits back down, not giving Dick an actual chance to look at the ring. 

“Ok. Ok.” Dick drags a hand through his hair in frustration. “What about batman? Where is he?”

Marinette shoots both of her hands up and points at the one way mirror behind Dick’s head, “Boom! Right behind ya in that there mirror.” Then she again turns to the imaginary camera to continue her saga.

“Batman. The easiest, yet most difficult. The smartest, yet most helpless. And though Marinette and Tim wish they could have said they did it alone, they desperately needed the help of a certain… seductress.” 

---

Selena Kyle leans a hip into the counter of a kitchen, quietly making tea when a dark red and black tangle of something falls through an open window and crashes onto the floor, bumping into the family dining table and rattling the vase of wilting flowers. Selena curses loudly and goes to flee but realizes what, or rather who the pile of dark red and is. It’s Red Robin and Ladybug, otherwise known as Tim Drake and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. 

The two groan loudly and clumsily untangle themselves and flop on the ground next to each other apparently too lazy to stand up at the moment. 

“Hey,” Ladybug says, moving her head to the side to look at the standing woman. 

“Hey,” Selena takes a sip of her tea and almost laughs when she realizes that Red Robin had either been knocked out or  had simply fallen asleep. 

Ladybug’s words are slurred together when she says, “we need your help,” while slowly blinking. Either she was on something, very drunk, or very sleep deprived. Knowing the two of them and considering Red Robin was fast asleep on the floor it was probably the sleep deprivation. 

Selena acts as though she’s considering it even though she would help regardless, whatever it was these two were planning she wanted in. 

“Only if you agree to owe me a favor.” 

Ladybug (who had closed her eyes for a moment) snapped her eyes open and grinned, quite evilly, “what we’re planning will be favor enough.” Then, as if the conversation had ended, rolled her head around taking her surroundings in, “this isn’t your house.” 

Selena chuckles, “no it’s not, but you found me here anyways.”

“Ohhhhh, right I forgot about that, do you know the person who owns this house?” Selena shakes her head and Marinette hums in response, wandering her eyes over the kitchen. “So what do you say about the pant situation?” 

“The what?”

------

“The mystery woman had easily fallen for the trap. With her help, Tim and Marinette had almost succeeded in world domination, all that was left was to carry out the plans….”

---

Dick pauses the video and turns to the two heroes who were blushing furiously and fidgeting, waiting until they could bolt. 

“I thought you were going to sit there for a few more minutes then start talking again but you just kept sitting there until I realized you had fallen asleep with your eyes open.” He huffed and started to type into the computer again. “You’re lucky none of the JLA members got hurt or that this-” he clicks a file “video did not get out to the world.”

Ladybug and Red Robin stand in a professional stance with hands clasped behind their backs, they were standing slightly off-center of the screen with an empty JLA table behind them.  

“Good evening, world. I am Ladybug.”

“And I am Red Robin.”

“We have single handedly disposed of the JLA.”

“They will no longer terrorize our world-”

“Burn down our cities-”

“Trample us underfoot-”

“Wait-” Ladybug breaks character and turns to Red Robin, “are we describing Godzilla?”

Red Robin furrows his brow for a moment before bursting out in laughter, grabbing onto Ladybug and dragging her down into hysterics as well. They fall to the floor out of view of the camera but their guffaws are still spilling over the speakers very loudly. 

Several minutes later they stand up, wiping their tear-streaked cheeks.

“Anyways,” Red Robin continues, a chuckle still present in his voice, “We totally have taken over the world and you!” he points into the camera.

“Are!” Ladybug repeats his movement.

“Under our control!” they chorus together, pointing their thumbs at themselves as if this were some sort of disney channel ad, some sort of joke and that they hadn’t just literally threatened world domination, hadn’t just succeeded in world domination. 

They held the pose for a moment before Red Robin relaxed, Ladybug held her pose and continued to look into the camera while Red Robin reached up and paused the video.

“Luckily,” Dick begins, “You streamed the video straight to your own computer and not to the entire world, and luckily, you left your computer open on the dining tables for Duke to see it and for the rest of us, minus Jason,” he adds hotly, “to fix your mess.” 

“At least you caught the perpetrator?” Marinette adds helpfully, her voice going up like a question and her face scrunched up hoping that the comment would placate Dick.

It did not. 

Bonus:

Dick has both Marinette and Tim sitting side by side in an interrogation room, Tim is smiling and staring at Marinette with hearts in his eyes and sighing happily every once in a while Marinette is staring intently at the wall a few feet to the right of Dick’s head and talking as if she were the narrator of the documentary of her Tim’s “adventure” of literally taking over the world. 

“This is insane.” Bruce Wayne whispers behind the one way glass with a towel wrapped around his waist, every single pair of pants he owned was still missing. And would continue to be missing until he admitted he needed help, the rest of the batfam had collectively agreed to not help him until he asked for help, much to Bruce’s chagrin. 

Bonus Bonus: 

The video is shaky but clear, it’s facing a dingy empty stage with a lone mic stand in the middle at what seems to be Karaoke night in an even dingier bar. The crowd is mostly quiet save for the buzz of conversation until the start of “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey starts and everyone cheers. The camera violently shakes and Hal Jordan’s voice booms through the speakers,

“Let’s go babyyyyy!!” 

A few moments later and J’onn J’onzz, in his human form, hops onto the stage clearly hammered and most definitely not in control of his actions. He dances awkwardly around the stage until the first lyrics on the screen behind him light up. 

“Oh when you walk by every night, talkin sweet and lookin fine, I get kinda hectic inside,” along with the words he points to someone in the crowd then puts the back of his hand to his forehead to indicate “swooning”. 

“Oh baby, I’m so into you,” he clumsily hops off the stage and staggers over to someone at one of the front tables. The video zoomed in for a bit and focuses on the woman who briefly looks around her table with a laugh and she raises her strong arms, welcoming the drunk martian. 

“Darling, if you only knew,” J’onn’s smile was so wide and he laughed into the mic instead of singing the next few lyrics. He forced Wonder Woman’s chair from the table with his telekinesis, and with an excessive amount of exaggeration he circled the chair, dragging his hand over her face. The other women, more Amazons by the looks of their arms, pounded the table howling in laughter. 

“But it’s just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby, When I close my eyes, you come and take me,” he circles to her front and boops her nose as he sings “take me” before turning around and facing the stage. 

“On and on and on,” he looks back at Wonder Woman seductively and winks, “it’s so deep in my daydreams,” he hops back on the stage, “but it’s just a-” his foot gets tangled in the mic’s cords and his voice is cut off when he tries to save himself from smashing into the ground. 

He fails. 

Laughter erupts in the bar and the camera is slammed onto a table and Hal’s wheezing is heard above the others before the video cuts off.

phew *wipes brow* that was... actually a loooooottttt, but I hope it made you laugh and i really hope it wasn’t confusing to read! *smiles awkwardly and waves* byee....

[asset35-maya]

Nice Things

Inspired by this spectacular drawing of long-haired Nines by @marndraws

Gavin Reed never had nice things.

Every day was a fight for survival. He studied hard, worked hard and did everything he could to come out on top… but he never had nice things. If he did, they wouldn’t last.

Then the most beautiful creature to walk the planet entered his life.

A sheer scientific miracle. A combined feat of engineering and art. The most advanced android ever built… and the kindest soul the mean city of Detroit had ever seen.

Nines.

Gavin had no idea how to interact with the RK900 in the beginning. If it were any other new partner he’d have been his usual abrasive self, but there was something about the android that left him dumbstruck. No insults came to mind, so Gavin stuck to silent cooperation (and obedience, actually).

The RK900 model was designed to be aesthetically pleasing. There was no doubt about that, but it was how the android carried himself that took things to another level entirely. Poise, elegance and flair touched everything that he said and did.

It extended to the way he transformed his appearance after deviancy. Nines shed his Cyberlife uniform with the harsh turtleneck and stiff jacket in favour of softer, more delicate garments. He still stuck to dark colours, but his clothes were all loose and flowing. He dressed more like an interior decorator than a homicide detective (and it honestly served him well).

Gavin often had to tear his gaze away from the refined fabrics and unconventional styles that Nines wore. Gavin never had nice things… but he certainly had an eye for them.

And then there was Nines’ hair…

When Gavin had first seen the change from the default appearance settings, he had to leave the station, find a quiet alley and focus on bringing his breathing back to normal.

Nines… for some unknown, wild, spectacular, unprecedented, utterly amazing reason… had decided to lengthen his hair and let it hang loose around his shoulders.

The dark tresses were as expressive as the android himself. They danced when he laughed. They whipped the air when he animatedly told a story with his steel blue eyes flashing. They shone in every damn light.

Gavin couldn’t help but stare. He never had nice things… but he was drawn to them.

Not a day went by that he didn’t want to reach out and tuck the fine strands behind Nines’ ear, but he held back from giving in to such insanity.

Nines didn’t hold himself back though.

For all the times Gavin had been looking, so had he. He made his move in the middle of a very boozy Christmas party at the DPD. It didn’t take much of an effort. They left the party together on the flimsy pretext of Nines showing Gavin his Christmas lights at home… and promptly fell into bed together.

Gavin had never had nice things… but he knew exactly what he wanted, and when they were presented to him on a silver platter, he knew how to take them.

Nines’ hair was as soft as he imagined and even silkier than he dreamed. He couldn’t stop running his fingers through the lifelike synthetic fibres and Nines couldn’t seem to get enough of his touch either.

Bliss.

On the third anniversary of the Christmas party, the pair found themselves in very much the same position, only that they didn’t actually make it to the mindless office event this time. The day started and ended in bed.

Fairy lights glittered and tastefully-chosen tinsel framed the snow-laden windows of their loft apartment. The large Christmas tree emanated a warm glow that reached even the bedroom where they lay tangled in the sheets.

Nines was draped over Gavin’s chest, his fingers skimming idly across the warm skin.

“Sweetheart…”

“Nines.”

Gavin’s wary tone of voice made the android laugh. A velvet sound that the human would follow to the ends of the earth.

“What’s the thing you love most about me?”

Gavin exhaled loudly, hugging Nines closer.

“Baby, you know I ain’t good at words and shit.”

“I’m not asking you to write me a poem. Just tell me what you love most about me.”

He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“Is this a test?”

“I don’t have to test you. I know everything there is to know about you. I can read you like a book even with my analysis software turned off.”

“Uh huh. Then why the inquisition?”

“Because validation is nice.”

Gavin snorted and carded his fingers though Nines’ gorgeous hair.

“Guess I can start by applauding your honesty.”

Nines hummed, rubbing slow circles into Gavin’s pec with his thumb. A few minutes went by and Gavin began to drift off to sleep.

“So what’s more attractive to you? My personality or my looks?”

Gavin’s eyes snapped open in alarm.

“What the ph-”

“There’s no right or wrong answer. Just tell me.”

Nines propped himself up on his elbows and peered into Gavin’s face. It was truly a magnificent sight. Two piercing blue eyes… plush lips curling into a smirk… a cyan LED… and a perfectly arched eyebrow. A pale, angular face… framed by sweeping curtains of dark, glossy hair.

Gavin gulped.

“I can’t choose. You’re the total package.”

“Cop out.”

“Pfffft. You tell me then. What do you like better? My mug or my sharp wit? Hah. Betcha can’t answer that for all the complex calculations your supercomputer brain can do.”

Nines tossed his hair over his shoulder and elevated himself further, pressing his forearms onto Gavin. His fixation with the human’s muscular chest was no secret.

“I can.”

“Huh.”

“You hardly said anything when we first met so I had nothing to go off for your personality-”

“Maybe I was mysterious and aloof and ya just couldn’t resist.”

“No, I actually thought you were kind of slow. All your medals and service awards didn’t make any sense to me.”

“Wowww.”

“So it had to be your body. Why else would anyone keep you around?”

“Is that why you stuck around too?”

“Maybe.”

“You little-”

Gavin reversed their positions on the bed, flipping Nines onto his back and curling huge biceps around his lithe body. Nines tipped his head back to allow Gavin to drag his teeth across his throat and latch onto his collarbone. Some moments passed like that until Nines regained control by hooking a leg over the human’s waist to slow him down.

“Fine. I confess. It was the leather jacket.”

“Seriously?”

Nines dug his heel into Gavin’s coccyx.

“It was everything about your appearance that you had control over… or weren’t born with at least. For instance, your face is conventionally attractive, but it’s all the lines and scars and little things that made me wonder what kind of a life you’d lived… what you might have gone through... how you came out stronger. And yes, your body is a temple, but it’s the work you put into it that I admire. You know how to take care of yourself and that’s…”

“Hot?”

“Hot.”

Nines accepted a rather sloppy kiss with grace. He rubbed his hands up and down his partner’s back.

“So. Tell me. What was it for you? What is it for you?”

Gavin’s right hand subconsciously found its way into Nines’ long hair and caressed his scalp. He sighed into the crook of Nines’ neck and took in the familiar scent that was neither entirely human nor entirely artificial. Everyone expected androids to smell like a new car but the fact was that each of them had their own unique smell. It was impossible to describe in words, but it was one of the many many things Gavin loved about Nines.

“Babe, I think you’re asking a shit ton of questions, but none of them are what you actually wanna ask.”

“Say more.”

“Gavin, do you love me because I look like a Greek god or is it because I’m smart as phck? Gavin, what did you notice first about my sexy android ass? Does the same thing get you off today, or is it something else?

I think… there’s something you already know… or something you think you know… and you’re just trying to get me to say it and dig myself into a giant hole.”

Nines didn’t respond but his LED did. Gavin chuckled and pressed his lips to the spinning yellow light.

“Called it.”

Nines rolled his eyes.

“It’s my hair, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“Admit it, you’re obsessed with my hair.”

“And you’re obsessed with my tits. We take turns objectifying each other. First sign of a healthy relationship.”

The android’s sharp nose scrunched up at a particular word and Gavin closed his eyes in resignation. Despite his best efforts he’d walked right into the trap.

“Dammit, babe, I didn’t mean it like that. I would never ever see you as an object-”

“My, my… we’re lying here two years to the day we became…”

“A thing.”

“Yes. And here I am reminiscing about what made you even look at me in the first place… and it turns out the credit goes more to Cyberlife than it does to me.”

Gavin groaned while his lover’s tinkling laughter rang out. He had to think fast if he had to turn the tables.

“So I’m that slow?”

Nines looked back at him, confused.

“You just dragged MY instincts. Like I’m dumb enough to fall for a program written by some geeky little code nerd. Like it was all totally predetermined and I didn’t see you tease and flirt and practically fall over yourself trying to get my attention for months. Huh?”

Gavin tightened his grip and gave his partner an affirmative shake.

“All those outfits and nail colours and pointy shoes and sparkly, shiny things. You saw me looking and you just kept stepping it up.”

He grasped Nines’ jaw and kissed him firmly.

“And your hair, baby… yeah, some genius worked on the tech at some point… but they didn’t tell you how to wear it. They didn’t tell you about the length or cut or angle. They didn’t tell you to walk around looking like a phcking prince. They didn’t tell you to roll the car windows down on the highway so your hair could fly in my face and drive me phcking crazy…”

Gavin thrust his fingers into the dark locks and pulled the android back in for a series of open-mouthed kisses and tantalising swipes of his tongue. Nines started to reciprocate physically, but Gavin swatted his hands away, not wanting to let things go further without making it clear who had gained the upper hand in their ridiculous game. He broke away panting.

“I love you. Don’t ask me why because there isn't one single reason. And I phcking love your hair. Not just ’cause it’s pretty but ’cause you’re the only motherphcker in that precinct who’d show up to the gristliest of crime scenes looking like a runway model.”

They stared at each other. Nines’ LED flickered.

“I… wow, sweetheart… okayyy… I… love you too.”

A moment of silence passed and Gavin rounded things off with his classic double wink.

“You’re welcome.”

Nines smiled, accepting defeat. He reached up and carefully rearranged his hair, letting it fan out on the pillow. Unable to keep the smile off his face, Gavin dipped his head down and returned his lips to Nines’, kissing him under the covers until his LED spun bright blue.

Gavin Reed never had nice things… until he learnt how to take good care of them.

//

Part 2: Red Dress

[asknarashikari]

For (later) new year special, how about Riders & their friends having firework party. At one point Sento brought giant firework of his own making and fires it. Visually, Sento's fireworks are indeed spectacular, but the shockwave & the noises are... almost like a bomb.

Typical Sento, making things go boom

"Gentaro-kun, be careful where you point those sparklers, you could poke someone's eye out!" Emu chided after the exuberant Rider, who was waving a handful of the fireworks a bit too enthusiastically for his liking.

"Hey Emu, relax for once will you?" Kazuma told the other Rider with a smile, pushing a lighted firework in his hand. "It's almost the new year, and here you are fretting over a bunch of idiots!"

"No offense Kenzaki-san, but if you're one of those idiots I have to watch over." Emu said, rolling his eyes. "Remember last year, when you almost had a firework go off in your hand?"

"Oh yeah," Kazuma recalled, wincing. "In my defense though, I didn't know Tsukasa rigged it to go off so quickly."

"Exactly." Emu rolled his eyes. "And this year Sento's back too, which means-"

"Time to make something go boom!" the mad scientist hooted as he walked in, carrying something that looked frighteningly like a rocket launcher on his shoulder.

"Speak of the Devil's Scientist..." Emu groaned, shaking his head.

"Oooh, what's that, senpai?" Sougo asked. "Is that a firework launcher?"

"Damn right it is! And I'm going to give you guys one heck of a show!" Sento enthused, a tiny tuft of hair standing on end as he started setting it up, putting down legs and pointing the business end up into the sky.

"...Is this that thing you and Philip were working on in the Garage lately? Because if it is... it's not exactly reassuring..." Shoutaro asked.

"Oh, relax partner. Sento and I worked all the kinks out so it should work out just fine!" Philip reassured.

"Somehow that just makes me more nervous," Ryoutaro said, already ducking behind Touma, who gave him a bewildered look.

"Are you using me as a shield?! Wait-"

"Let her rip!" Sento declared, as he pulled the trigger, and a ball-shaped object shot up into the sky, hovering in the air for a moment...

Then it exploded, with a tremendous boom that knocked nearly everyone off their feet, and bright, shining sparkles of multi-colored fireworks, popping and bursting for a good long while before they died off.

"Ugh... that was amazing, and all, but did it have to be so loud, Sento-san?" Ikki asked as he got to his feet.

"What? What did you say?!" Sento screamed. "Wasn't it amazing? The best? Aren't I a genius?!"

"...Why am I literally not surprised," Emu sighed, half-crushed under Kazuma, his ears ringing from the explosion.

[purplepenntapus]

Rating Versions of Harry Osborn: Updated

Wanted to redo this post with a more comprehensive and inclusive list of Harrys

616 Comics: 

Just such a good and complex character. The OG Harry. His relationship with Peter just adds so much depth to every Green Goblin arc because of the inherent conflict of Peter knowing he needs to take down Norman Osborn, but not wanting to hurt or lose his best friend. (If you’ve read Kindred no you haven’t.) He’s still... ugly... I’m sorry 616 Harry... I love you so much but they did you dirty... Some artists do their best with what they have but... I’m not a big fan of western comic style in general so that doesn’t help. Has three failed marriages by the time he’s 30 because he’s gay and deeply closeted.  8/10

Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994):

The Harry plotline in this show reeeeally doesn’t feel earned, because the first time we see Harry having an active role in the show, he asks Peter to move in with him because Norman wants him to have a responsible studious roommate  (a detail from the comics I was EXTREMELY excited to see play out), and Peter comments that they barely know each other. Ultimately they live together for all of one day before Peter decides to move back in with Aunt May. The next time we see Harry, MJ calls him Peter’s best friend, despite the fact that we haven’t seen Peter hanging out with—or even MENTIONING—Harry since the last episode when they were basically strangers. Really it feels like he’s just there to cause romantic drama as the guy MJ graciously settles for when she gives up on Peter. I found the whole goblin plotline kind of boring and lacking in depth.  3/10

Raimi Trilogy:

I was never interested in Raimi Harry until after I started liking and exploring other versions of Harry, because I just thought he was kinda a shit friend. He’s a pretty strong character overall, but his motivations aren’t as obvious. He’s torn between his love of Peter as his best friend, and his bitterness towards Peter for being the man his father wished he was. I don’t think Raimi Harry really wanted MJ, he just wanted to get back at Peter in a way by taking someone that HE loved. However I feel like his characterization kind of sways back and forth between sympathetic and not depending on how he’s written in the scene, and it disappoints me that the thing that gets him to stop tormenting Peter is the butler telling him out of nowhere that Norman died from his own blade, rather than any real character development on his part. 6/10

Spectacular Spider-Man:

I still haven’t watched all of this show because I... can’t STAND this version of Peter... but I’ve watched many clips with this boy and he’s just... so sweet... He only wants to be loved and keeps getting his heart broken. Deserves better. On everything. He deserves a better father, a better best friend, better love interests, everything. I do really enjoy the way they incorporated 616 Harry’s drug abuse into this show with the Globulin Green, it was a very clever way to incorporate that aspect of his character, but tone it down for younger viewers. I’ve watched the scene of him getting “unmasked” as the Green Goblin about a million times it’s very good. 8/10 

Ultimate Spider-Man:

I love him. Most people fear drifting apart from those close to us, so watching Harry struggle with the new and increasing distance between him and Peter as Peter seemingly makes new, “better” friends is downright heartbreaking. Especially when he overhears Sam implying that Peter only hangs out with him for his money which is something he’s clearly experienced a lot. (Seriously Sam what the fuck.) I also love his struggle with Venom throughout the series as a metaphor for his anger and bitterness, it’s never truly gone even when they work hard to remove it. It’s always there to bubble back up under extreme amounts of stress, especially when Norman is involved. (Also this isn’t a Norman review, but USM Norman is the only version of Norman Osborn that has rights and he works hard to be the father Harry deserves.) Had an honest to God meet-cute with Peter like come on???? Its unfortunate how much they cut back Harry’s role in the third and fourth season, I really would have loved to see more of him. Threw a party specifically so he could ignore Peter to his face because he was jealous and I respect that level of pettiness. 9/10

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series

I didn’t think it was possible to create an uglier Harry than 90s Harry but this blonde, fuck-boy lookin creepass came and proved me wrong. Who the FUCK is this?? Doesn’t have any recognizable characteristics of Harry Osborn besides being rich and hating Spider-Man. Also just... look at him. I wouldn’t trust this man anywhere NEAR my drink at a party. #NotMySon -3/10

The Amazing Spider-Man:

He’s okay. I think he has some very emotional scenes and good chemistry with Peter, but it’s dampened by the fact that he wasn’t present in the first film and had to share the second with like two other main plot lines. Ultimately ends up being the least sympathetic version of Harry Osborn because he became the original Green Goblin and killed Gwen, rather than following in his father’s footsteps. That’s not to say he’s a completely unsympathetic character. He has a strong motivator in his fear of death, and I do think the choice they made for his character were interesting and could have developed really well, but they didn’t get the chance since the franchise was dropped. 5/10

PS4 Spider-Man:

ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM. WISH WE GOT MORE OF HIM. HAVING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF HARRY OSBORN BROKEN AS YOU SNEAK AROUND NORMAN’S PENTHOUSE AND LEARN THAT HE’S BEEN SECRETLY STRUGGLING WITH A GENETIC DISEASE HE’S BEEN HIDING FROM HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS WAS -chef’s kiss- GENIUS. PLEASE GIVE US A SECOND GAME WITH VENOM HARRY. 10/10

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2017):

Still easily my favorite version of Harry Osborn. When I first began watching the show I was startled by their decision to make Harry a science genius like Peter because it was so different from their usual dynamic, and many people who aren’t fans of the show point to this as something they dislike. But I actually ended up really loving the decision. It gives a different flavor to Harry in how he reacts to the events of the show and how we interpret his character traits, while still being very inherently Harry Osborn. Harry is jealous of Peter, he loves him dearly, but there’s always this ember of bitter envy ready to burst into anger whenever the plot creates friction between them. This is one of the defining traits of their relationship and in most versions it’s not hard to understand why. Peter has what Harry wants. He’s intelligent, he has potential, and most importantly he’s loved. Peter is the son Harry knows Norman wishes he had, and that creates a wedge between them. Marvel’s Spider-Man changes this dynamic. Harry can easily stand toe-to-toe with Peter in terms of intelligence, and in fact they often work together to create things or solutions Peter couldn’t have come up with on his own. That initial wedge between them isn’t there, creating a very endearing and loving friendship that we know is doomed to sour because it isn’t enough. MSM Harry could be the person Norman wants him to be, and that places the full weight of his father’s impossibly high expectations on his shoulders, always within reach but never quite achievable. So it makes a lot more sense why Peter initially has a low guard towards Norman (as opposed to some other series where Peter seems oddly dismissive of Harry’s justified complaints) and Harry’s own steadfast loyalty to his father. On the surface Norman seems like a perfectly loving parent, he encourages his son, he created an entire school for him when he was wrongfully accused of sabotage, it’s only when you start to dig deeper into their relationship that you see the subtle manipulations and the issues Harry has from constantly chasing his father’s approval. This creates a Harry who is desperate for validation and extremely sensitive to rejection, which colors his relationship with Peter throughout the show. I’m still mad he got nerfed in the second and third seasons because Disney is homophobic. TLDR: I may be biased ... Infinity/10

MCU:

Where is he? Who knows? Man missing in action.  ?????/10

[thekingofwinterblog]

Getter Robo Retospective - Getter Robo Part 1 -Ryoma Nagare

So, Iv’e been wanting to do an overall retrospective of the Getter Robo manga franchise for a while now, and since the Getter Robo Arc is nearing it’s finale as of the time of this writing, and will either give it a definite ending, or be the final nail in the coffin that the series will never be finished before Getter Robo falls into public domain, I thought now might as well be the time to do it.

As such, I’ll be doing an overall analysis over the entire collection of Ken Ishikawa’s Getter Robo manga series, it’s plots, themes, characters, and covers the various ideas this crazy and amazing sci-fi series covers.

Also, this retrospective will NOT cover the various anime adaptations, or the behind the scenes stuff that has gone on with Getter Robo over the years, such as Go Nagai being credited as the writer of the original manga despite only having come up with the overall concept and designs for it(the rest was by Ken Ishikawa), or the way that Ken went back and added in some extra chapters in the original two manga to explain some things and to tie the early manga more closely into what came after.

For the purposes of this retorspective, I will be focusing exclusively on the manga itself, and what it has to offer, without going into anything else.

And of course there is no place better to start, than the beginning.

So, what is the story of the original Getter Robo Manga?

Well, the overall plot of the original manga is about the conflict between two sides of a conflict, as laid out rather well in it’s prologue chapter.

The first is our protagonists, the Saotome Institute of Japan, who’s leader and namesake has invented the titular giant mecha, the Getter Robo.

Powered by a revolutionary newly discovered form of energy called “Getter Energy”, this enormous metal behemoth is a fighting machine unlike any other.

This war machine was originally supposed to be used for space exploration, but due to necessity, it has instead been reworked into a fighting machine.

It’s only weakness is that it requires 3 different living pilots to operate it to draw upon its full strength.

Opposing the Saotome Institute, is the forces of the Dinosaur Empire

An empire of humanoid Sentient Dinosaurs that long ago was forced to flee the Earth’s surface after it was bombarded with a strange kind of energy from space that was deadly to their kind, their only way to survive being to use their incredible technology to hide on the only place on Earth where the rays couldn’t reach them. The Earth’s very core.

Now, after millions of years underground, and the rays that forced them beneath the earth to begin with having seemingly ceased, they have finally returned to reclaim the earth’s surface for their own. At it’s disposal, it has incredible technology, and giant cyborg dinosaur monster in it’s quest to wipe out the newcomers, the human race, to achieve total dominance over the Earth.

If you think this premise sounds very generic, and you’ve seen it in some form or another in countless other Mecha series, you are not wrong. Ancient evil group attacking the protagonists, and only the new giant robot can stop it, probably the biggest stock plot in mecha overall, having been done in everything from Neon Genesis Evangelion to Megas XLR in some form or another. The set pieces and details are different, but the overall plot is the same.

However, where Getter Robo fits into this, is that it was one of the first giant robot manga there was, and many, many of the tropes and ideas it pioneered would be used and imitated by its successors.

In fact, I would argue that Getter is the second most influential mecha series in history, only second after it’s big cousin, Mazinger Z.

However, we are not here to detail how it influenced the manga industry, but how Getter holds up on it’s own, and in this regard, despite having a plot that has been overused time, and time again by it’s successors, this isn’t really that much of a problem for Getter Robo. Because like any good Mecha series, Getter’s biggest strength is it’s cast of characters.

Starting off in chapter 1, we are introduced to the first of the Robot’s giant pilots.

Ryoma Nagare.

Each of the pilots of Getter Robo is given an introductory mini-arc to set them up, and Ryoma’s is easily the best of the 3.

We are introduced to the main character of most of the franchise at a very unusual spot to open a main character, especially for a Shonen protagonist.

At the end of a revenge story.

To put it bluntly, Ryoma does not start off this series as a particularly likeable, nor good person, as his introductory scene is him crashing a perfectly legal martial arts tournament and beating the everloving shit out of it’s referee, it’s participants, and the judges who arranged it.

His reasons for doing all of this?

Revenge for his old man.

As it turns out, Ryoma had a massive beef with the arrangers for this contest, as his father, Ichigan Nagare was a pro karate champion back in the day, whose reputation was purposely destroyed by those arrangers.

Now he’s come to take revenge by utterly crushing their disciples on national television, to hammer in the point that his father’s martial arts was superior to theirs for all the world to see.

During this whole thing, we also get a very good look into how Ryoma thinks at this point in time.

When the arranger tries to appeal to the “Sacredness” of the Sport to get him to stand down, Ryoma laughs in his face, proclaiming that there is nothing sacred about combat at all. The only thing that matters is who emerges as the victor.

This is backed up by how he doesn’t show the least bit of compassion or honor to the first of the contestants he defeats, easily smashing him to the ground then gloating over him after having demonstrated the sheer difference in the combat prowess between the two of them.

He is very blunt about the fact that he believes that one should pursue strength for strenght’s sake alone, and never stop until you have crushed anyone who stands before you. Always train to get stronger, and always seek out those who can challenge you and beat them too.

Might makes right.

This is a REALLY good introduction for showcasing Ryoma as a character. How he thinks, his immense near superhuman strength, his ruthlessness, his pride in his own strength.

It also ties in directly into the themes of this series, as this kind of thinking is essentially Evolution itself boiled down to it’s bare core. The survival of the strongest. What is the point of Evolution after all, if not this? Those with the traits to survive and thrive will do so, while those who cannot, will be crushed by those who can, who in turn will pass down what made them successful to begin with.

Of course that is not what the actual message of this series is, but it is a concept that this series is rather blunt about, and it’s not a coincidence that the most prominent of all the main characters of this series began his journey while believing wholeheartedly into that ideal.

All in all this scene is just great, and it sets up Ryoma really well, as well as making it clear that this is a boy who has a lot of growing to do as a person.

And so, having achieved his life’s work that he’s trained for for years and years, Ryoma nagare quietly leaves the arena, leaving behind a dozen bruised, battered and broken men on the ground.

Of course this display of power has not gone unnoticed, as in the audience were two men from the Saotome Institute who came here hoping to find someone strong enough to pilot their giant robot.

As it happened, they just found one that fit the bill rather spectacularly.

Then in the next scene we are showcased Ryoma’s home.

Ryoma Nagare, a fighting genius that at the tender age of 16-17 smashed the greatest karate practitioners in Japan with ease while being outnumbered a dozen to one, lives in a ramshackle part of town, in a rundown old building that has broken windows, a leaking roof, and can at best be called a ramshackle cottage.

It’s a rather brutal contrast to the sight of the prestigious, well made and maintained karate tournament building we were just in.

Inside we find the sight of something else rather unusual for a Shonen protagonist. Having now achieved his goals, and avenged his father’s memory, Ryoma is slowly starting to come to the realization that this has all been one giant waste of time. He hasn’t actually earned anything on this journey. His father is dead, he’s still poor, and his only belongings is this shitty building and the clothes on his back.

As we learn here, Ryoma has spent his entire life being trained in martial arts, to insane degrees even for an adult man, much less for a child. All for the purpose of one day doing what he did today, and avenging his father’s memory.

This scene really hammers in the fact that for all his ridiculous strength, Ryoma is a child, and he has a child’s way of looking at things.

He thinks back fondly on being pitted against stray dogs in death matches, and he reveals here that in his mind, this was all about “Redeeming” martial arts somehow, as if this display would really change anything in the grand scheme of things within the sport.

It wasn’t of course. This was all about revenge. Everything Ryoma ever trained for was for this moment, this moment of what should have been absolute and total triumph as he achieved a truly spectacular victory and proved his father’s fighting style the best in all the land and he has proven that he himself is the strongest fighter in all Japan.

Instead he is coming to the realization that so many people that wasted their lives on vengeance have come to over the years. That it was all a giant waste of time.

Revenge is a suckers game.

Having achieved his goals, Ryoma has found them to be completely empty, and has nowhere to go. This is a really fascinating way to open up a character arc, as usually a character that learns the lesson that David Xanatos knew so well, happens either at the end, or somewhere later down their line. Ryoma however, learns it in the very first chapter, and now has to find something else to live for.

However, his soul searching is then interrupted by a few gentlemen from the Saotome institute.

Who immediately tries to kill him.

Now before I discuss the next part, I wanna praise this overall scene, because it really works great within the context of this chapter.

Ryoma has been introduced as a massive asshole, who firmly believes in the mantra of Might makes right, and he doesn’t feel any regret at having brutalized a dozen of innocent people, just the fact that he realizes that there was no real satisfaction to be had from it. Now the other shoe drops, and HE is attacked in his own home, completely unprovoked for reasons that frankly he has no personal involvement in on his own side. While this attack does have an in universe reason behind it, it main purpose is that it serves as a nice cathartic moment for the reader, as while he’s never going to legally punished for what just happened at the tournament, he is punished by the narrative for his actions, which is something i’ve seen far, far too many stories do over the years fail to do with asshole protagonists.

It also serves to put Ryoma’s current belief in Might Makes Right to the test. After all, aren’t these men doing exactly what he said that those who practice martial arts should do? Seek out those stronger than them, then crush them.

All of this makes it a shame that it is horribly undercut by the one, genuine stain on the original manga. Namely that one of the attackers is this guy.

And it’s at this moment you realise, oh yeah, this was made in 1970’s Japan. The unfortunate fact is that Mangaka of this period generally based their depiction of black people on early American comics(Which had plenty of this kind of artwork), and Ken Ishikawa was unfortunately not an exception to this rule.

He would THANKFULLY not repeat anything like this later down the line(his depiction of black people is far more natural and realistic in later manga), but hot damn is it both uncomfortable and distracting to read the pages with this guy. And it’s a real shame too, because frankly, not only is the following fight scene very good as a narrative punishment for Ryoma, but it’s just a good fight scene in general.

Unlike the Tournament fight, which was mainly a beatdown to establish Ryoma’s ridiculous strength, this is an actual fight, which showcases Ishikawa’s ability to draw energetic, exciting fight scenes where action flows very naturally.

It also shows that for the kind of ridiculous strength Ryoma possess, he isn’t some superhuman, as early in the brawls he’s heavily wounded by the rather mundanity of taking a throwing knife to the shoulder. This is in general something that makes action if Getter Robo stand out from other shonen series too. When characters, or Robots for that matter, takes hits, they rarely shrug them off with no problem, instead taking real, genuine damage that doesn't just instantly go away. They might power through them, but that isn’t the same as them disappearing into the ether.

In any case, the battle ends up outside the house when Ryoma is thrown through the wall.

He’s then forced to do the classic, catch the blade between the palms of his hands trope, which is depicted much more believable than most cases I’ve seen, as despite succeeding, it still left him bleeding from those palms.

Ryoma then redirects the blade into the big guy who is attacking him from behind, killing him. I really love how the artwork sells that this is a desperate move on Ryoma’s part. He is genuinely fighting for his life here, and he’s pulling out every trick he has to to win despite his wounds.

He then follows that up by ripping the blade out, and throwing it at the knife thrower guy. I also like that after doing so, he immediately falls flat on his ass, in a rather realistic manner(he is fighting in the rain after all, so the ground is undoubtedly pretty slippery.), while also showcasing the force of the throw. My only main complaint is that for this one panel Ken forgot to include the wound and the knife on his shoulder, as I think it would really sell just how desperate Ryoma is here if we’re visually reminded in the moment that, oh yeah, he’s powering through and using the arm whose shoulder has a knife in it to to throw this thing.

Thankfully, that missed opportunity for visual grittiness is more than made up for by the next part.

Having now effectively won the battle(I think the swordsman broke his foot in the fall, at least that’s how it looks), Ryoma suddenly realises that, holy shit, he just killed someone. The contrast between here and how he looked as he challenged the tournament fighters couldn’t be more different. The cooky, arrogant youth is completely gone, and you're reminded that Ryoma is just a kid. A kid who just had to kill someone. The bravado is completely gone, leaving only a kid who is tired, confused, in pain, and probably pretty scared.

He is then approached by the man who just had 3 grown ass men jump and attack him, Dr. Saotome.

Wounded, and mentally exchausted as he is, he is in no position to argue as Saotome declares that Ryoma is what he’s been looking for, and as one of his men rips the knife out of his shoulder, Ryoma screams before losing consciousness from the pain. Afterwards he is dragged into a car, and bandaged up.

Then as they're driving, the’re attacked by a giant flying dinosaur that grabs unto the car and flies away with it, Ryoma and Saotome barely managing to get out in time, alongside one of Saotome’s unlucky goons who breaks his neck in the fall.

And so ends Chapter one of Getter Robo.

All in all, other than the horribly racist black guy, this is a really good first chapter, that sets up Ryoma Nagare really, really well, showcasing his way of thinking, his origin, and where he needs to grow, while also showcasing his ludicrous strength, and that he is fully capable of going balls to the wall to win a fight, which will be showcased many, many times in this series. It also ends on a reminder of the fact that oh yeah, this is a series about one side vs dinosaurs, as Ryoma gets his first introduction into the enemy he will be fighting time, and again in this manga. It also gives a distinct first impression of just how ruthless Saotome is, as he is perfectly willing to send 3 dangerous goons on a teenager just to test his prowess in battle, which is absolutely going to come into play in future chapters.

All in all, it’s a good start. Not an amazing beginning, but certainly a good introduction to our first main character.

[shingia]

𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

disclaimer : i am not japanese, i only study it in college so please feel free to correct me if i made any mistake !

⇀ hinata shōyō - 日向 翔陽

日向 : the first kanji is 日 (hi), meaning sun, day, light of the sun, which perfectly fits hinata’s personality, obviously

the second kanji is 向 (nata) and has quite a few meanings depending on the context, such as : facing, beyond, confront, defy or approach. overall i think this kanji is perfect to illustrate hinata’s habit to always move forward no matter what stands in front of him

翔陽 : the kanji 翔 (shō) is literally perfect for hinata since it means soar, fly. however, it is different from the kanji we see on karasuno’s banner which is 飛. i’ve done some researches and it seems like 飛 is used to express flying, fluttering or scattering while 翔 is used for things that are currently in flight. 

the second kanji, 陽 (yō) has a similar meaning to 日, they both mean sun and overall express a feeling of positivity

⇀ kageyama tobio - 影山飛雄

影山 : the first kanji 影 (kage) means shadow, silhouette, phantom. in other terms, it’s almost like the opposite of the sun that is so predominant in hinata’s name. i really like that 影 translates to “shadow” because, when you come to think of it, a shadow could not exist without sunlight (this is so wholesome bye) 

the second kanji is 山, which is very common in japanese surnames and means “mountain”. my analysis is that mountains are one of the closest things to the sun, and the higher you stand on the mountain, the bigger the sun. it could be a great metaphor, meaning that tobio’s growth is a way of making hinata shine even brighter. another explanation is that kageyama literally means “the shadow of the mountain”

飛雄 : i mentioned it before but the kanji on karasuno’s banner is 飛, and it’s also the first kanji of kageyama’s first name. so yeah, i love this. it means that shōyō and tobio’s kanjis both mean the same thing, which is very interesting considering that their family names are so different

the second kanji is basically an ego boost from kageyama’s parents. 雄 means “masculine, hero, leader, superiority, excellence”, it’s like his king status follows him to his first name, like he was destined to be do great things

⇀ tsukishima kei - 月島蛍

月島 : you guys might know this already but the first kanji of tsukki’s name (tsuki) means “moon” (how bizarre). in zen buddhism, which is a part of japanese religions and beliefs, the moon is a symbol of enlightenment and truth : sounds perfect for this clever mr. salty. 

the other kanji, 島 (shima) means “island”, which does not seem to have a direct link with tsukki. but trust me when i tell you you won’t be disappointed by the meaning of his first name

蛍 : i had trouble believing at first but the tsukki’s first name means “lightning bug, butterfly”. and i LOVE it. first of all because tsukki’s so desperately trying to be a lone wolf while his name is literally “butterfly”. second of all, i think that it’s a subtle way of expressing that tsukki thrives in the shadow, like a lightning bug. which is another clue telling us that hinata and him are opposite. my analysis is that the sun (aka hinata) is a source of light for everyone, while the moon (aka tsukki) is a source of light for much fewer people (hello yamaguchi), and, if we go even further, a lightning bug basically only produces light for itself which echoes tsukishima’s individualism

⇀ yamaguchi tadashi - 山口忠

山口 : you already know it if you’ve read kags part, 山 means mountain. and if my reasoning applied for kageyama and hinata, it most definitely applies for yamaguchi and tsukki as well. if yamaguchi symbolizes the mountain, then he is one of the few privileged that are allowed to be so close to the moon, who is usually so solitary. 

the kanji 口 means “mouth”. like the “shima” in tsukishima, it does not symbolizes anything relevant to the character, the family name 山口 is just very popular in japan

忠 : in my opinion, this is the most appropriate kanji for yamaguchi’s first name. it means “loyalty, fidelity, faithfulness”. do i have to say more ? i don’t think so.

⇀ nishinoya yū - 西谷夕

西谷 : the first kanji is 西 (nishi) and means « west ». the second is 谷 (noya), meaning valley. nothing spectacular, right ? JUST WAIT (many of you guys probably know where i’m getting at)

夕 : noya’s first name, 夕 (yū) means evening.  WAIT A BIT MORE

⇀ azumane asahi - 東峰旭

東峰 : ok so i’m typing really fast because i think what furudate did is amazing : the kanjis of asahi’s last name are 東 which means « east » and 峰 which means « valley », « peak ». HOW GREAT IS THAT ? it’s literally written in their names that noya and asahi complement each other. also, choosing to name the ace with a kanji meaning « peak » is very clever. and as you can guess, their first names are also genius :

旭 : the kanji 旭 (asahi) means rising sun (literally, asa means morning and is written 朝, and hi means sun, written 日). but i think there’s more than a link between noya and asahi’s names. indeed, hinata said to asahi in season 1 that he really wanted to become an ace. and both characters have the kanji 日 somewhere in their name. it’s like they both aim so high (literally and figuratively) that the comparison with the sun is inevitable

⇀ tanaka ryūnosuke - 田中龍之助

田中 : this last name is one of the most popular in japan, and i don’t think it symbolizes anything particular for the character. but his name…

龍之助 : the first kanji is 龍 (ryū) and means « dragon, imperial ». obviously it fits really well tanaka’s fiery temperament. the second kanji is 之 (no) and it means « of, this » ; from what i read, it’s basically the kanji equivalent of の, which can be considered an equivalent of the « ’s » in english. and the third kanji, 助 (suke) means « help, rescue, assist ». so tanaka’s name is « the dragon that rescues » and i think it fits him so well ! it might be a reference to his protective behavior towards kiyoko. so basically, tanaka attacks to protect

⇀ sawamura daichi - 澤村大地

澤村 : i’ll admit it, daichi’s last name is definitely not the most stylish. the first kanji (sawa) means « swamp » and the second kanji (mura) means « town, village ». luckily, his first name is a bit more symbolic :

大地 : the first kanji, 大 (dai), means « large, big » and the second kanji is 地, meaning « ground, earth ». when the two of them are put together, it creates the noun 大地 which can be translated as « solid earth » which is obviously, very appropriated for our captain

⇀ sugawara kōshi - 菅原孝支

菅原 : sugawara is a japanese family name that means « sedge field », unless i’m forgetting something about suga i don’t think that it symbolizes something specific about him

孝支 : the first kanji 孝 (kō) means « filial piety, child’s respect », so according to his name, suga is a respectful child, which honestly does not surprise anyone. the second kanji is 支 (shi) means « support, branch, sustain ». like daichi, suga’s first name alludes to something strong on which others can rely for support. i mean, they’re not captain and vice-captain for nothing

⇀ ennoshita chikara - 縁下力

縁下 : ok i really like ennoshita’s name. the first kanji is 縁 (en) and means « affinity, relation, connection », which seems to be a reference to ennoshita being the one that, first of all, brings the second years together and also the one that will « connect » with daichi’s status of captain when the third years will be gone. it’s like he’s the bridge between the third years and the upperclassmen.

the second kanji is 下 (shita) which means « below, down, low, inferior ». my guess is that furudate either wanted to represent ennoshita’s tendency to doubt himself or simply the fact that ennoshita is right below daichi when it comes to the position of captain. like if there was a pyramid, daichi would be at the top and ennoshita would be right below

力 : the kanji of his first name means « power, strength, bear up » and i love that it compensates for the meaning of the second kanji of his family name. i like to picture that daichi is the « solid ground » as we’ve seen before while ennoshita is still underground but nonetheless really strong. moreover, if you combine daichi’s last kanji 地 and ennoshita’s 力, it creates the word 地力  (jiriki) which means « one’s own potential, real ability »

⇀ ukai keishin - 烏養繋心

UKAI’S NAME IS SO GREAT JUST WAIT I’LL SHOW YOU

烏養 (keep in mind that this is the last name so everything i’m saying here also applies to ikkei ukai) : you might have already recognized it but the first kanji is 烏 which can be read as « u » or « karasu ». see my point ? exactly. ukai literally shares a part of his name with karasuno, and this kanji means « crow, raven » (obviously)

the second kanji is 養 and means « foster, bring up, rear, develop, nurture » : such a great choice for this lovely coach, isn’t it ? but that’s not it :

繋心 : the first kanji is 繋 which means « tie, fasten, chain, connect », here again we are reminded that ukai is the one that brings the team together. also, he shares this kanji with his grandfather whose name is 一繋 (the first kanji means « one » so we can suppose that ikkei ukai was « the first to tie the team together ») . the second kanji is 心 which means « heart, mind, spirit ». i see this as a way of expressing that ukai is « the heart and mind of the team » thanks to his coach status

i rly rly enjoyed making this post because it was a way for me to study and improve my japanese so i hope you liked it! i will make another post with other names because there’s just so much to say about them

keep in mind that these are just my personal theories and analysis, i might be wrong and honestly i was too lazy to look it up on google to see if i was right

[createandconstruct]

Something about Quina in FFIX - Their magic reflects their personality to the dot. Quina is erratic, carefree, absurd to the core, and strong willed. Their magic is bizarre, whimsical, unpredictable, and powerful.

The fact they're the embodiment of the game's message is even more spectacular. They deserve more love. WE NEED MORE QU IN THE SERIES DAMMIT! Give us young Qu, old Qu, adolescent Qu, parents who are Qu, whole societies of the Qu!

Oh, btw, rename Quina to Quart to play into their Gourmand side. You're welcome

You: Here is an extremely good take on Quina and why they're actually a fantastic character and addition to the main cast.

Me: I owe you my life

You know what takes years off my life? Everytime I read an article that's like "TOp 10 ChaNgeS ThEy ShoUld mAke tO A Ff9 ReMaKe" and then they have the AUDACITY TO SAY "REMOVE QUINA FROM THE GAME. OR I read a post that says "You could remove Quina from the game and nothing would change."

Excuse me? Nothing would change?? Remove Quina? My non-binary Qu LEGEND??? The REASON why you are able to go to the Lost Continent. The character that knocks Zidane off his confident feet and teases out a frustration from him that no other character can do??? The self-aware, confident, ROCK OF THE PARTY. THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO WRONG. But you are absolutely RIGHT saying Quina is strong-willed. They have the strongest will of ALL the main characters. In a group of characters questioning themselves, doubting themselves, and facing their insecurities Quina is the wise old friend who's there for practical good old advice - even if it goes over everyone else's heads - and is always there when you really need them. May Quina EAT anyone who questions their presence in the game.

Quina is a genius character from a design perspective too because the game designers needed a character to come in and out of the party for characters like Steiner and Eiko to enter the party in Disc 2. You never really question when Quina just goes running off and leaves the party because that's just Quina. But it happens at the perfect time for another member to join up.

You also NAIL IT saying Quina embodies the game’s message. I’ve been screaming this forever so THANK YOU FOR THE VALIDATION. Quina gives an essential lesson that ties in well with the theme of the game. Quina’s journey may seem surface level ridiculous and silly - a constant search for good food - but let’s substitute eating for experiences. “To eat is to live.” Or rather, to experience is to live. The people that are “hollow,” or considered “lifeless puppets” are alive but they have yet to begin to live until they get the chance to experience the world around them. Quina is the one character who gets this in a sense. They aren’t afraid to live. They aren’t afraid to experience. As Zidane says at the end of the game, “even if we’re born to die, I’m not afraid. I’m gonna live!” Quina will die one day, and comes very close to it, at some points like in Cleyra. But that doesn’t deter them. Quina races forward to eat and experience as much of life as they can even in the face of death that looms in the world of FF9 and our own. Quina is the one character who, from the start, embodies Zidane’s quote. They are not afraid, they simply live. We could all take a page out of their book.

Also it’s time for Quina appreciation. This compilation video is a riot from Vinesauce’s FF9 stream. FF9 is one of his favorite games so he plays it with love, his Quina voice is amazing, and it’s a riot how he goofs on Quina, while they slowly become a highlight of his playthrough.  

This art by dv9lity on twitter (click the link for the full art) from the stream, inspired by the Vivi, Quina, Quale, and Quan scene, is also incredible. Anyone who hates Quina is small, peanut brain. All those who love and appreciate Quina? Galaxy brain. Don’t be like Zidane. Embrace imagination, embrace Quina. 

I guess I can also mention/plug my Quina fic. The only Zidane & Quina fic currently which is a crime. Give me more Quina content. Give me more Quina bonding with the others. Quina would give the best hugs. We need to take advantage of that potential. 

You’re also FREAKING RIGHT. The Qu’s are such an awesome fantasy race! I’M SICK OF HUMANS SQUARE ENIX. THEY’RE BORING, OVERUSED, GIVE US THE FANTASY RACES WE DESERVE. FF9 had PEAK fantasy world with its hundreds of different races. We will never achieve such heights again. Just look at the main cast. They’re so diverse, colorful, and fun together - I want that again.

[greensaplinggrace]

What makes Dishonored your favorite game?

The biggest thing for me was the lore and the atmosphere. No game I've played has ever had such a well-incorporated feel and sense of immersion to it like Dishonored except for Bishock 1, which is incidentally my second favorite game of all time lol. The lore is brilliant, the world is creative, the atmosphere is spectacular, the soundtrack is to die for, and it taught me a lot about how to create a city and a world and a system of myths and religion and tales and perspectives.

The way it's set in a steampunk/clockpunk/fantasy world where whaling is the primary source of energy is brilliant. The books and papers and notes you can read throughout the game are endlessly fascinating, and the different perspectives you come across in writing on certain characters throughout is especially interesting to me. Granny Rags is amazing, Slackjaw is great, the Loyalists were quite a unique set of allies, and Daud is probably my favorite antagonist of all time.

The stealth and magic system is the only one of its kind I've ever come across, and literally no other game compares in quality to stealth missions and chaos systems and gameplay except maybe Assassin's Creed, and that depends on which game we're talking about. After playing Dishonored I legitimately scoured the internet for games like it that had good stealth/magic and nothing else was as good.

Also, I love the exploration of classism and the critiques on society. The main antagonist is the game is vile, and the reveal for why he did what he did will always stick with me. The Boyle party is my favorite part of the game despite my beef with the low honor choice. Largely because of a) the aesthetic, which is breathtaking throughout the entire game but especially on this mission, b) the boyle sisters themselves, who are very complex and who you can learn a great deal about through exploring their home before even meeting them, and c) the fact that even in this rich person's mansion, as all these wealthy and privileged people dine on a vast amount of food making small talk while the rest of the city starves and dies and bodies pile like mountains in the flooded district, there is still blood on the floor.

The disconnect when hearing the rich wonder why they're also dying to the plague is well done, too. The fact that they never even considered they would be vulnerable because they judge the lower classes so much.

The heart, which is probably the greatest part of the game, spilling secrets and giving you knowledge. A horrifying companion that tells you everything about the world you're in. It's such a great way to incorporate more lore as well as highlight the complex lives of the characters you're surrounded by. Even a random man wandering the street has a story the heart will tell you. I like that. I like how even the side characters feel fleshed out. There's no part of that world or that city that doesn't have a purpose. There's no piece of that game that feels worthless. You point the heart not even at a person but at a place and it will tell you the secrets of the world. That's the type of worldbuilding I admire. That's the type of lore that means something to me.

The religion is cool. The Outsider is interesting. The void as a concept is genius and the way its explored is so incredibly compelling. I love the way magic and religion are tied together. I enjoy the way cultism is explored. I ADORE the abbey and the religious corruption and how tied it is with the government. Just the entire setup of the government/accepted religion/'heretical' religion is really great.

There are dozens of ways to complete the missions and explore the city. Playing the game without powers is fun af. You are a rat bastard. I love the rats in this game. I love the powers in this game. You can have charms made out of bones and you can find shrines to the outsider and you can teleport in front of your allies without them even going "hey! why does this dude have a strange heretical marking on his hand?!" The powers are fun, the void is fun, the dynamics of the game are fun. It's just fun. I mean, maybe a bit too easy now, imo. I have to set it on very hard and make sure its basically unbeatable to really have a challenge anymore.

Corvo as a character seems dull at first when you don't get much of his story in the first game, but his potential and the pieces of his history that are dropped occasionally by npcs and his relationship with emily make him pretty fucking stellar, imo. You learn more about him and his relationships with people as the game progresses. The way the world changes is so interesting.

Like idk, I could go on but this is already enough of a ramble. It's just... really good. It was also the game that got me back into videogames. I had a massive gaming slump for about five years where nothing interested me. I gave Dishonored a try and loved it so so much I started playing other games again. Luckily I then played Bioshock 1, and that passion didn't immediately die. So really it just holds a sentimental place in my heart as well. Also I majorly shipped the Corvo/Jessamine/Daud OT3 you guys have no idea.

(fill my inbox)

[mowu-moment]

i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.