#all of you ‘forced representation’ people can chill out btw

[afterartist]

Rough sketch of HelicalTale Frisk and Chara

I’m working on drawing the whole cast but these two are siblings in HelicalTale so I had to draw them together (Both Chara and Asriel are alive in this AU :D))

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Deaf MC vs Devildom

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A HUGE thanks to @jaywalk-on-me for reaching out to me about this subject. I really hope I have given this it some justice.

Also, to avoid some of the controversies inside the Deaf Culture: I will not be referencing cochlear implants.

And a note for my fellow hearing people, there is definetelly not much difference between us and deaf/hard of hearing people, in fact, after reading about it, I can hardly consider it a disability seeing it can actually allow them to percieve the world in a much different way from ours and would not have any problems in their life if only us, hearing peers, were cooperative and understanding. Everything we need to do is literally minor details and does not hinder our own lifes in the slightest, in fact, it can even help us too! An example is captioning, there is literally nothing to lose, and honestly, even I put captioning on movies of my mother lenguage because sometimes I just can't understand what is being said and captions really help me with that and enjoy whatever I am watching to the fullest! So let's be more understanding. We are all humans, and can all learn from each other's perspective.

And as always

Warning: Uncensored swearing lol, and reference to lesson 16

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Lucifer

Ah, yes, he knew about it, was in your files, nailed it, he learned your local sign lenguage, all good.

Except his expressions are so damn stiff.

He signs a 'Welcome to The Devildom' and I kid you not, you will not be able to tell if he is trying to be welcomingly polite (and failing miserably) or threatening you.

It was definetelly both

He gets better at it-

Perks if you like classic music though, because you will be able to give him a whole different way of enjoying it.

He won't force you to speak if you choose not to, but he sure will never stop being delighted to hear your voice if you do.

It still baffles him how observant you are, may start trusting you to find details he missed on certain things.

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Mammon

He definetelly forgot everything he learned on sign lenguage the moment he stepped out of the tutoring Lucifer made him and all his brothers, except for Levi and Satan, go through.

Yes he will mistake around 5 signs per day on the first week of your arrival in the Devildom.

And he will often forget that you most likelly cannot hear him (if his voice frequency doesn't match your hearing that is) and go off blabbing without signing and then just go "oi why ya ignoring me" and he definetelly is this close 👌to being wacked with the closest thing at range.

Again, he gets better too.

In fact, once he warms up to you (and that's like, real fucking fast) he will make so much effort to get things right, and he always pays attention to have captions in movie nights even without you asking??

He tries lip reading once when you told him it's not easy and, I will let it to your imagination what on hell he managed to lip read.

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Leviathan

As mentioned above, he didn't need the tutoring. Why? Guess what, he already knew at least a few sign lenguages, all because of the many animes, games and shows he has watched portray it, even though the ammount of representation is small.(btw I recomend DARK, there is a deaf&mute character and oh boi she's awesome, it's on netflix)

So he definetelly had no problem communicating with you, in fact, he was almost relieved.

He doesn't need to speak verbally?? He basically would rather spoon his eyes out than talk on the phone so on drug levels texting instead is like heroin????

And oh lord you NEED to invite him to the music festivals on the human world catered towards deaf and hard of hearing people, be will LOVE it.

A little bit of downside though, some of his expression changes are very subtle, but as he spends more time with you, he will start incorporating character voices into expressions and body lenguage instead, and you bet he enjoys doing it.

He will definetelly make music just for you. You only hear high frequencies? Or maybe only low frequencies? Or just nothing at all but you enjoy the rythmic vibrations? He definetelly has spend an entire night making a full fucking album just for you.

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Satan

Seriously, he knows so many sign lenguages it actually made his way of signing pretty unique!

Another fake ass who will give you gentlemany smiles at first. He may be a way lot more smoother than Lucifer but you bet his fake ass is not passing your vibe check, not with the way his eyes just feel a little bit not right.

Another one who gets better though.

It's kind of nice how he grows so used to signing while speaking that his hands often give off a sign or two even when he is speaking to hearing people.

He will definetelly roast quite a few half assed interpreters.

Also he may or may not have gotten a new obssession after you two watched a few silent movies together??

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Asmodeus

Oh boy this one needs to chill out a bit.

If you can't interpret signs when done too fast then good luck because his hands will literally be able to spell a full fucking paragraph in 20 seconds.

And oh how he explores your other senses.

Definetelly goes to you first to judge how he looks.

Also he is the best option to keep yourself informed?? I mean, it's also something he can relate with, it doesn't matter if someone killed somebody or just broke their nail, he needs to know about it.

He may be a bit disappointed if you don't speak but he gets over it quickly.

Will ruin many people's carreer if they so much as refuse to attent to you just because you're deaf. There's just nothing wrong with it??? Stop being so petty!

He is now your biggest distraction in mid class and you will definetelly end each day carrying at least 10 paper notes in which he will try to speak with you. They definetelly smell like whatever he smells like at the time. And are definetelly written in colored pen. With glitter. And there are hearts. And possibly a kiss mark-

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Beelzebub

Big boy definetelly has two types of sign lenguage he uses, and if literally depends if he is eating and what he is eating.

Normally he is just, normal lol. Since he is pretty much quite a bit of an amateur at it he will make use of speech filters a lot when he needs to remember certain signs.

If he's holding something big like a sandwich he will either just gulf it all in to have both hands free or try to make a simplified version with one hand. I'll admit the first scenario is quite amusing.

Yes some of the first questions he asks is how to spells certain foods.

And yes you bet you won't be able to know all of them because Devildom food is definetelly something.

Oh and get ready for a bit of chaos if anyone refuses your order because you're deaf.

Please tell him to flap his wings and proceed lay on him or hug him. The vibrations will be very much close to one of those massage chairs.

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Belphegor

Oh boy.

First off, he did NOT know about you being deaf because thanks Lucifer.

You guys definetelly spoke in a lot of exchanged notes under his attic door.

He keeps them all hidden somewhere but he will never admit it.

If you're willing to teach him at least how to say 'hi', 'good night' or things like that, he will appear to not be very interested but once the entire lesson 16 fiasco happens they're definetelly the only signs he knows about for some reason when he finally gets tutored.

Still texts you instead.

Even in the same room.

That's what you get from the avatar of sloth I guess-

He does sign a few remarks at you per example commenting on how the new hairstyle Asmo decided to make made his bangs look like a poop behind his back.

Also this:

(The picture above actually happened and was translated to english from my mother lenguage)

[uthseikoashx-inflamedme]

How can everyone find their true-love and still be in love after years in HP? (”magic-soulmates” theory and conservative society)

(I do apologize for the mistakes! I did my best and have been help by websites and things like that, but I’m afraid I’m still not a native speaker. I hope it’s not that bad though. Sorry again!) (when I started writing this I thought “it’s going to be short, I’m gonna explain things quickly”, and well, nope)

Isn’t it curious that a lot of character in Harry Potter meet his true love at school, marry to them, and love them until the very end?

Just a quick list: Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione, Lily and James, Molly and Arthur, Frank and Alice, Neville and Hannah Abbot, James’ parents, Remus’ parents, the Malfoys, the Crouchs... It’s definitely a lot of people who are in love for ever (and I’m sure I’ve forgotten some couples, like Newt and Tina or Luna and Rolf, even if they didn’t meet at school?).

Plus, there are other characters which had a “true love”, and despite the fact they are not (anymore) together, they still love this same person - and they never have been able to move on. Minerva McGo fell for a muggle who died, Severus Snape was obsessed with Lily until his very end - literally -, Albus Dumbledore met Gellert Grindelwald at 17 (or 18) and loved him during decades despite everything his charismatic murderous ex-boyfriend accomplished (and Albus was probably Gellert’s true love), etc.

But in real life, most of the people don’t marry to their school crush and most importantly, don’t love them deeply and unconditionally during decades (or I think so at least). So, why isn’t it working the same in the wizarding world?

Well, it could be because JKR didn’t want to include divorce and wanted to present a (quite unrealistic) model of relationships (and Harry Potter was intially a book for kids, so ok); but couldn’t we find a real reason?

So here are several theories, to fix this... inconsistency?

Again, it’s theories, so there are probably questionable points and things like that. Feel free to say what you think of it!

1. Magic “soulmates”

This one is my favourite, and it’s probably - to my opinion! - the most believable, the most convincing, at least the one with the most potential. (it’s not perfect at all though)

Muggles and wizards/witches aren’t the same human beings. It’s a fact: there are diseases which affects only magic people (the Dragon pox?), magic people live way longer than muggles (Bathilda was older than Dumbledore, who was born in 1881 and died in 1997; Gellert, Elphias and Muriel were still alive in 1998...). Magic seems to have an impact on the body, on the constitution (*).

The assumption is: what if the magic through the body of every wizard or witch was able to... “recognize” or “match” with the perfect person? Because of something muggles don’t have, magic people are able to truly bind themselves with a... soulmate, something like that?

It might be plausible (maybe believable), I have several arguments.

Firstly, magic people are able to feel the surrounding magic - like forces, something immaterial but which has a strong influence. Albus is able to feel the marks of Riddle’s spells in the cave (and I’m strongly convinced that his magic and Gellert’s were... connected, that they were capable to feel and recognize each other magic, because both of them were bloody brilliant, but it’s not the subject). We can perhaps also talk about how Newt was able to detect the prints of magical creatures and Tina after they left the streets, in FBCOG. It shows that magic is everywhere, and it has a strong influence on the physical world.

Secondly, we have proofs that magic is far more complex than spells and things like that: Unbreakable Vows or Fidelius Charms imply magic contracts that we don’t understand, students can study things like Arithmancy or Divination, which are subtle arts... But the greatest example of it is certainly Lily’s protection. Magic is complex.

Thirdly, we can suppose that every witch or wizard has a very personal magic - a reflection, a part of their personality, of their soul (which exist in Harry Potter). Maybe souls are entirely a magic thing, after all (it’s quite sad for muggles though): I mean that each soul is perhaps the magic energy of a witch or a wizard, the source of their power (but again it’s not entirely the subject here). So each magic, each soul, is able to “scan” other’s soul - other’s magic - and find a perfect match: after all, magic is soul, and consequently, it’s the most intimate part of someone’s personality. And then, people fall in love (because magic and personality match).

I really do appreciate this theory, because I fairly like complex and mysterious magic systems and things like that in HP (that’s why Albus’ and Gellert’s interactions and relation can be utterly interesting btw). Plus, it actually explains why someone is truly in love with the same person for ages.

But, what about wizards or witches which fell in love with muggles - Remus’ dad, Queenie Goldstein, etc? If their partner isn’t a person with a magical soul and stuff, how can they be truly in love and all?

Yes, indeed, it exists; however, we can... fix that.

On one hand, maybe soul and magic are separated, souls have their own energy, and wizard’s or witch’s magic acts to tie the two souls despite the absence of magic through muggle’s bodies. Plus, muggles are affected by magic (we can cast spells on them, but most importantly they also feel subtle magic things, like Dudley with the Dementors (even if we can argue here that the chill we feel when there is a Dementor is something physical and not magic)).

On the order hand, in the muggle world, there is people which are truly in love without magic: so perhaps it is not a question of magic here, they are just... in love. (I hope I’m clear?)

2. Conservative society and appearances

Nevertheless, is it possible that those perfect couples... aren’t absolutely truly in love with each other? So, why didn’t just they broke up?

Perhaps the witchcraft society (can we name it like that?) is actually quite conservative, and not quite open-minded about divorces. Several things we learn in the books support this idea.

First of all, most of the married couples we know promised themselves to each other rather young (Lily and James, Molly and Arthur, Bill and Fleur, Alice and Frank...). I don’t know if it’s because I’m French and I live during the 21st century, but I don’t know a lot of people who chose to marrying before 25 (in fact, I know no one which is younger than 70 today). What if serious relationships in the wizarding world were truly accepted only after a marriage? Almost every person with children is married (the exceptions are Dean’s mother (but she’s a muggle), Bellatrix (she's married but not with the man she had a baby with (****), but it’s in HPCC and honestly, how could this happen), and... I think that’s all?). Marriage is maybe a big deal, an unforgettable and necessary stage in a wizard’s of witch’s life who wants to be recognized as a person in a relationship with legitimate kids.

(to be honest here, they could marry early just because of the war, the fear and all, like Molly said it in HBP (if I remember right); but people of Harry’s gen also married, and Molly complained because Bill is marrying (according her) to the wrong woman, too young, as the overprotective mother she is. We can keep that on mind though. Anyway, back to the point.)

Next, it appears that pure-blood families and traditions are still influential during HP books - racism and how it is not punished (like it’s ok to casually say “mudblood”? we never see people except outsiders or very brave people protest against it? there isn't any law who punishes it?), the representation of pure-blood in the Ministry, the capital owned by some of them (**), ect. And we all know how the purity of the blood is important in those families. What if marriage was initially organized and crucial in the upper classes (pure-blood families) to keep their blood pure, and because they rule the society, they imposed this social convention decades - maybe even centuries - ago? That’s why marriage could be that important. (***)

Finally, there might be so many couples which seem in love... just because they act like they truly were, they accepted they must love the people they were binded with, despite the passing years? Divorce might consequently not an option.

(Also, what if marriages contracts were actually a way to... “create” and assure the love between the two persons? It’s much sadder than the soulmates’ theory, because we can think that the love between two people is artificial, even if it exists originally. I do not like this idea)

This theory (marriage-creating-love excluded) doesn’t exclude the first one though, so why not?

3. Destiny and things like that

We know there are prophecies, destiny and things like that in HP - we know it for sure, with Trelawney’s predictions (even with Grindelwald now). What if there is actually a destiny for everyone, a personal path for everyone, which everyone follow, and which allows to meet a perfect person to be together with?

I don’t have elements to prove this point, and actually, I’m not quite convinced - but it’s possible. However, are really all the characters dominate by a destiny they have to fulfil? Like yeah, Harry is concerned by a prophecy, but 1) it could have been Neville, 2) there is not so many prophecies we know and it’s almost every time about Harry or Voldy.

Plus, it can be seen as... an absence of freedom, and without freedom, how can someone choose how to build himself, how to act ethically, etc? (I know some philosophers said destiny doesn’t exclude freedom and all) My point is that a world entirely conduct by a destiny/future already written (so which also determine true love’s people) is a bit out of HP system and narrative: Harry has to do choices to follow the path of the good, it’s crucial through the books and a lot of characters are determined by their ethic choices (Albus, Draco or Severus in particular?) (I’m trying my best to be understandable)

(all in all, I’m not fan of this theory)

4. There isn’t any “true love”, we only have this impression because of Harry’s pov: arguments and counter-arguments

Here are counter-arguments to the idea of “true love” in Harry Potter. Indeed, our analysis can be biased by Harry’s pov and by the people he chose to be friend with.

Many of true-love-couples are Harry’s friends (or persons he likes). We can think that he likes people with the same opinion on love and relationships; consequently, his friends and the surrounding adults marry because they all like this way of life.

What I want to say here, is that there is probably many persons who haven’t found their truelove, but we don’t met them, or we ignore them: what about Moody, what about Sirius, what about Peter, what about Kingsley, what about all the teenagers who aren’t with the love of their life before 20? We know countless characters, most of them didn’t seem to be together with their soulmate or something like that.

Plus, perhaps we think everybody can find their true love because we just see perfects couples and not messed up couples - because of Harry’s pov. (I swear I’m actually trying to be as clear as possible)

Nevertheless:

single persons can be aro/ace persons;

singles can choose to not be in a relationship, even if they found their perfect match: Moody, Sirius and all have a quite particular story and had suffered from losses, war, injuries - what if Moody lost the person he loved during the war? what if Sirius didn’t want to hurt the person he loved by his eventual death, when he was James’ and Lily’s Secret-Keeper? (it also work if his “true love” is Remus actually);

several persons could have chosen to ignore their feelings, for a reason or another. It could be because of a bad timing, like the war, as we already mentionned it; but also because of personnal reasons (family, denial...); or even social ones: all of the pure-blood don’t have the bravery of a young Andromeda Black on one hand, and the other hand, homosexual relationships don’t seem to be quite accepted in canon - the only two man that we know for sure were involved in a relationship, Albus and Gellert, kept it secret. (***)

actually, there are probably a lot of people who are in a relationship, but we don’t know it (who knows, for example, if Stan has a gf/bf?). Again, Harry’s pov isn’t an omniscient pov; and forgettable characters’ private life is generally not quite important throughout Harry’s epic adventures;

we still can’t deny there is way more married and happy couples (so people who are together with the same person a very long time) in the wizarding world than in the muggle world. Even if there are exceptions and if we know single persons, we still have the same problem: people are able to find their true love very young and stays with the same person the rest of their lives, pleased - even entirely blooming.

We can yet argue that nobody talk about a “soulmate bond” and something like that through HP stories. If there was actually a true-magic-allowed-love, witches and wizards should know it, right?

However, a magic link as complex, subtle, imperceptible, cryptic, primitive, puzzling as true-love-magic-bond could be far from easy to be analysed and understood by any enchanter of sorceress. It will be like... quantum mechanics or things like that. We might need brilliant people who work on it during their whole life and who are helped by complicate and modern instruments, impenetrable knowledge, etc. And we know that:

there is less magic people than muggles (seriously, I once tried to estimate how many wizards and witches lived in Great Britain and... so little), so there is consequently fewer people who have the abilities and the will to research things like "true-love-magic-link”;

a lot of muggles discoveries had been done during the 20th century, despite the war... however, wizards had to deal with muggle’s wars, wizardkind’s wars (hi Grindelwald and Voldemort), while maintaining the International Statue of Wizarding Secrecy, and it’s a lot. So perhaps nobody really had time to think about it.

Plus, it is possible that other countries in other continents had proved it, but European countries and US don’t care; also, perhaps it has been proved in the past - like 4000 years before our age - but then it has been forgotten.

Nonetheless, there is a serious counter-argument to the true-love-thanks-magic theory: love potions doesn’t exist. Amortentia creates a strong obsession but never creates love. Slughorn (and Dumbledore, if I remember well) explained love can’t be created with magic. Consequently, Slughorn seems to say that love between two persons in the wizarding world is created by... feelings, like in the muggle world. Plus, an important message of the books (and now in the movies with FB) is that muggles and wizardkind are equal, have to be considered as... identical, almost? Love is a strong power, and it's even stronger than magic - love's the real important thing to protect, etc. That's why a magic-soulmate theory might be debatable.

But if we suppose that attraction and true love between two people is based on magic/soul matching, a simple potion - and even a strong spell - has of course any effect on love and things like that: feelings and magic are far more subtle, personal, a spell or a potion can’t influence someone’s soul (or just Dark magic), etc.

I know yet that JKR wanted probably to say that love is more elevated than magic, she wanted to sublime humans’ emotions and things like that - or it’s what I understood when I read the books. So yes, the fact that love can’t be created by magic is a serious counter-argument: it goes against some of what seems to be author's ideas and characters explanations (Dumbledore's at the end of DH). It doesn’t throw away the theory in my opinion, but it questions it though.

Conclusion:

I can’t think about something which can actually answers to our initial question except what we already said. I want to believe that magic binds people together and helps them find the perfect match, because if I don’t believe it, relationships in Harry Potter make not much sense to me. (even if there are definitely debatable points) (and again it’s just my pov/opinion)

So there were the theories, etc!

Honestly, an inconstancy like that is not a that big deal, but I still do want to fix it. It’s in my mind since ages srly I can’t bear it anymore I need to talk about it. I’m glad it’s done.

Thanks for reading, and have a good day / evening / night / whatever!

* : ... magic seems to have an impact on the body, on the constitution: in fact, we know it for sure: Riddle’s appearance changed radically after he created Horcruxes. This point can also lead us to think that soul and magic are the same thing, or are at least strongly connected.

**: ... the representation of pure-blood in the Ministry, the money who owns some of them: if you’re interested, I developed a bit more this idea in the post:  Why are the Weasleys poor? (eng&fr) (theories about pure-blood families, inheritance, etc)  

***:  That’s why marriage could be that important.: for several reasons (that I want to expose but not in this post bc it’s already quite long), I do believe lgb+ relationships (or transidentity, or everyone which is not cishet basically) are not accepted, and same-gender marriage is certainly not allowed in the wizarding world during Harry’s years at Hogwarts. If we think now about the pressure on teens and young adults about marriage if they want to have kids, to be accepted as “a person in a serious relationship” or be seen as accomplished adults, we can understand why many lgbtqi+ people never came out. It could explain why we don’t see outed lgbtqi+ people or couples at Hogwarts, in the Order, or everywhere else. (yep, i’m trying to “explain” in the canon a lack of representation, even if we all know why there isn’t lgbtqi+ ppl - JKR just wrote it that way. (i do not support what she said and she did recently.)) (futhermore it could support the theory of the several uses/significations of the blood pact between Albus and Gellert, an alternative to an engagement ring they couldn’t have but wanted to have? idk)

****: 3rd august edit : I did a mistake and I was unclear, because I previously said Bellatrix wasn't married, as someone gently tell me! It's now corrected. (if you want details, it's on the comments!)

(again, sorry for the mistakes, thanks for reading!)

[fymagnificentwomcn]

t’s truly something how all princes/sultans in tmck are so pressed…I get their life isn’t easy, but all that blaming & truly how it can affect everyone’s perception. Murad even accused his mother of faking an assassination attempt on her life, incredible *sarcasm of course*. And Atike was just his cheerleader most of the time, ugh. All that blaming by people who even weren’t there. Thanks for writing that piece!

Aww thank you so much! This piece is my magnum opus I guess lol (Link here:https://fymagnificentwomcn.tumblr.com/post/610970504341405696/no-she-isnt-the-whole-evil-k%C3%B6sem-thing-isnt )

Murad’s angry 24/7 & gets so ridiculous with blame-shifting – he would need a good anger management therapy LBR.

And there’s one scene that portrays his character in nutshell:

Doctor: you cannot drink anymore wine, Your Majesty.

Murad, literally 5 minutes later: Yusuf, bring me wine!

Murad in 1 minute, another example:

Kösem: Don’t marry Silahtar to Atike, you also have another sister and if you do it, it will end in tragedy!

Murad: No worriez, I’ve thought about Gevherhan, I will marry her to Kemankeş ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I mentioned a lot of blame-shifting in my previous posts, but he even at moment began questioning his mum about Gülbahar and whether she truly committed treason (and Gülbahar herself admitted to it).

Even when Atike asked him for permission to take children with her & Kösem to vaqf, he was totally okay with the idea, but later after kidnapping snapped at his mother that it was HER fault for gaving taken his sons there & began threatening her with exile far away. Charming as always.

Honestly, he’s like a broken record. In all his arguments, while Kösem has her logical arguments, his only argument is usually “I’m the only/rightful owner of Ottoman Empire, “I’m the shadow of God on Earth. Like dude do you realise how boring you are???

Don’t forget how mad he got when Kösem wrote to Kemankeş to have a backup plan if Murad died and Bayezid wanted to take the throne, which could have meant danger for other Kösem’s sons. After all, she didn’t take it from nothing, Gülbahar told her about assassination attempt to come & it actually already had happened by the time Murad received the letter. Yes, dude you are not immortal, you could have been killed, and life goes on you know? It doesn’t mean your mother doesn’t love you or is not going to mourn you, but she also needs to take care of your brothers and state ffs. He’s truly obsessed with this idea that after his death life will  (unfortunately in his view) go on – which is also meaningful since Kösem reminded him like two episodes earlier that state was going to remain even with both of them dead. And well we all know the “masterful” idea he conceived just before his death.

And it’s clear how even some of his siblings fear him – Gevherhan was scared immediately following the announcement of Kösem no longer being a regent (especially since he did in a way to put  blame on his mother for recent events to prop himself up, and he was also engaged in state matters at that point). Kasim also immediately fears being locked up in kafes or even executed. Judging by their conversations, despite problems going on, last 10 years were a peaceful time for their family.

As I said, out of all Kösem’s opponents only Handan and Derviş weren’t worse than her, and she was the only main player that never engaged in mass slaughter – Safiye, Halime&Co., Gülbahar&Sinan, Murad, Turhan - all did.

Same with Atike – she was a baby when when her father died, didn’t even spend her early years locked up as Ibrahim…. she’s honestly so blind it’s painful. The scene where she jumps at Kemankeş for trying to talk sense to Ibrahim not to appoint Genie Master as chief judge… please your brother is now acting contrary to Imperial law and it’s asking for further disaster if Cinci increases his influence among ulema by bringing people who pay him into it & it’s good Ibo is controlled in this way… nah, it’s actually necessary. And how you jump from this to your mother I have no idea either. A true performative “activist”, who talks about protecting her brother, but all is limited to talking  & exposing her moral superiority, while it’s not supported by any real actions helping him.

Well, you got your revenge on your mother for killing the husband who despised you, acted against your youngest brothers at that point, and likely was only praying you wouldn’t follow him also into afterlife.

I also forgot to mention one more example of Mu/rat manipulating the narrative – when he tells Atike following the failed dethronement attempt & Kasim’s death that their mother had lied to her and tried to kill him – he was after all put in kafes, he should be aware nobody planned an assassination attempt, bah he KNEW the whole plan from Sinan… and yes, Kösem being so adamant that nothing can happen to Mura/t cost her Kasim in the end.

Atike herself was aware that Mu/rat would have killed her brothers even if the dethronement attempt had not happened as she told him to his face after Kasim’s death and she stated that he had made the decision long ago. Later however she got the letter from Murad informing her who killed Silahtar and she even released Traitor No. 1 Sinan to spite her mum 😂.

I suppose princes at this point led the hardest existence because they were closed in kafes, unable to get decent education&experience or have families (maybe they were allowed to have sex with cariyes, but contraception had to be used or even abortion if the concubine of a sehzade has got pregnant) but at the same time they weren’t certain whether they wouldn’t be killed because the switch to anti-fratricide was pretty new&the times were turbulent. Osman clearly broke Imperial law by getting fetva from military judge to kill Mehmed, and Murad killed the biggest number of Ahmed’s sons obviously (yeah more than in the show because not all princes appeared in MYK, though we don’t know the exact number of Ahmed’s sons, Murad definitely also executed Suleiman, most likely his full brother). I laugh when people go about “rule-breaker” Murad. Wow by getting back to law that has already began to run its course, clap clap.

Murad was king of hypocrisy and it’s also a historical fact. As Halil İnalcık states in his book Ottoman Empire: The Classical Age: “ The tyrannical Murad IV was a habitual drinker and at the same time the most ruthless supporter of the prohibition againt alcohol”. Mu/rat tried to make use of religion in his attempts to drill absolute obedience, but he wasn’t a religious person himself & definitely tried to take from religion what it most suited him, while ignoring other things, e.g. he kept decreasing zakat, aka income tax that goes to charity. A small bit of trivia: apparently he was a big fan of Machiavelli’s The Prince, there were even some rumours that he translated the book himself (we can only imagine he also took from this book what he wanted 🤪 ).

Similarly Turhan manipulated the narrative, also in a hypocritical way – remember her going like: “how many padişahs you killed?” and she was the main force behind Ibo’s death… the moment Ibo told her that she “was a coward who hid behind his mother’s skirts”… it was clear he was doomed. There was explicit anger on Turhan’s side here. Not only because she felt insulted by him, but also because she felt a need to prove both to him and the world that she was capable to be on top without Kösem’s support.  Not to mention all her actions leading to Ibo’s situation, also her ordering Mehmed to sign his dad’s death order was so chilling “I don’t want dad to die”. Well, now let’s play morally pure, especially while murdering elderly (very elderly lbr :p) Haci in again a brutal way, including twisting his neck. It’s not even that she removed a padisah – she actively worked to make him crazier and for his rule to be total failure, it wasn’t even about her, Ibo or Kösem – whole nation suffered because she was impatient to take power into her hands./BTW pity we skipped the time period when they were both Valides and we know both tried to get rid of each other, without harming Mehmed/ And frankly even with Kösem it was a terrible & undeserved backstabbing because also Ibi criticised Turhan for this saying his mother always “loved and protected her, did so much for her” and I doubt Ibo was biased here considering that he was also on bad terms with his mum at that moment.

Later the situation truly calmed down & later princes could live much more peacefully because the practice of killing truly went out of style and also later there were less and less restrictions on princes and they could for example travel abroad with the reigning padişah. For example, Sultan Abdülaziz took princes for a European trip and they even had a chance to meet Queen Victoria.

And I laugh when people blame Kösem for “failing to protect the princes” instead of you know, blame the actual killer. Ahmed truly replenished dynasty, while Murad axed a number of his brothers, at the same time of course used his own propaganda. It is true that Murad executed the favourite of princes, Bayezid, during celebrations following the successful Revan campaign. Similarly, when Kasim was executed someone spread rumours about the prince impregnating a number of concubines & it was before the Baghdad campaign when even setting out on it Murad had to display his “splendour and glory”.

Show-wise I legit one read that Kösem killed Ahmed because she spared Bulbül following Safiye’s attempted coup lmao. It’s not like Ahmed wasn’t there when she made the decision & it’s not like it wasn’t Hümaşah who after all got Yasemin in, and I doubt anyone could oppose an Imperial princess anyway – she would have found another servant. And Bülbül later saved Kösem’s kids, so… scapegoating truly is in some people’s blood lmao.

I love how MYK played with the idea of historical representation & creation of narrative, how people “see” and how different factors might influence their perception & creation of narrative. And also how S2 put into different perspective some stuff from S1. I admit there were some things that back during first watch of MYKS1 made me go WTF? that I later understood when compared/contrasted with MYK S2. It’s clear that they truly planned a lot of the whole show back in S1.

It’s sometimes interesting how narratives may be created and repeated even without evidence supporting it - there is no historical evidence that Kösem took part in Osman’s dethronement, yet it is something that often pops up even in “historical articles” for example. People deduce since Kösem later became Valide quite soon because Mustafa’s (or rather Halime’s) reign didn’t last long, know Şehzade Mustafa’s (Suleiman’s son) story, and some rumours about what Ottoman women did to secure throne for their children, so they see getting rid of one’s stepson to claim throne for one’s child as logical and usual in Ottoman system,  even when there is no proper evidence backing it up. Because it seems natural and logical, so why not make it more spicy? We know next to nothing about Mahfiruz, but there is this “Betty vs Veronica” trope, so suddenly we learn that Mahfiruz was Kösem’s opposite, not politically involved or ambitious, but gentle & sweet, and even details like light hair pop up as opposed to Kösem’s dark hair (sometimes of course it is also extended to good vs. evil). Taken from where, other than fitting a known trope? Or when she’s presented as some sort of Mahidevran vol.2 as having as close relationship with Osman like Mahi did with Mustafa, perfect prince and jealous stepmother Kösem. I know some of the stuff is also derived from Western, orientalist plays, but those are obviously not sources and should not be treated as truth. And sometimes it it even repeated by historians. For example Uluçay, who  was very against Sultanate of Women & pretty much propagated a lot of rumours (and new approach to the period truly changed a lot of how academia writes about these women now). Let us look at this quote:

Taken from: Necdet Sakaoğlu, Famous Ottoman Women.

It’s clear what narrative Uluçay chose for his research.

It’s common practice to sometimes fill in the blanks (and sometimes even change stuff) with known cliches, tropes, and narratives.

It is truly a topic for an extended discussion, so I will stop for now, but when it comes to Ottoman history I do recommend Daniel Piterberg’s Ottoman Tragedy. History and Historography at Play, which shows how the same event may be even differently presented in historical works depending on chosen narrative that is often rooted in current context.

[danwhobrowses]

Valentines 2020: A Celebration of My Ships

So it’s valentine’s day again, and...yeah it’s not too great when you’re single is it? Considering that I’ve already gone through a tub of ice cream...

But, it doesn’t mean I’m a cynic, quite the opposite. Most of my fandoms involves a ship in some shape or form, hell I shipped before I even knew what shipping was, so I’m gonna talk about some of them...the ones that still make me happy and didn’t crash and burn in heartbreaking and frankly insulting fashion (looking at you Homestuck ¬_¬), gotta mention that these are not all the ships I ship, they’re just some of the ones I’m quite consistently high on

New Entries So with new fandoms come new ships...as is the usual formula anyway, though my pattern of watching things is usually with some delay, I only watched Rurouni Kenshin and started My Hero Academia in 2019, I still hold off on Attack on Titan and My Hero Season 4 because if I get in, I get IN. So these fandoms may not be new, but they are new to me Steven Universe is very new to me, I’ve been aware of how good it is and their concepts like Fusion. I like it, particularly Lapis Lazuli I really relate to her, but ship wise the two I really like are the obvious ones; Steven x Connie and Ruby x Sapphire (Garnet)

Garnet is badass and chill at the same time, but when she unfuses we see the stuff that makes me smile, the pda between Ruby and Sapphire is adorable, the little pecks and whatnot softens me up like no man’s business. Steven and Connie also have the mushy dynamic with both of them deeply into each other but still being strong individuals. The love for each other is equally platonic as it is romantic as they gel together, both being strong willed in different ways. The laughter probably gets me the most with both of them, the genuine laughter is so sweet and so realistic it’s hard not to love. My Hero Academia seems to be our next wave of shonen anime and for good reason, it does high notes so well and the cast of characters are vibrant and exciting. I haven’t hit Season 4 yet since I’m waiting till it’s all done to binge so I may be a little behind on some stuff (sadly it’s hard to avoid spoilers, I know about Infinity and Unbreakable). While I do like Deku x Uraraka, Tetsutetsu x Kendo and Eraserjoke but the two that I find most enjoyable are Todomomo and Kamijirou

(artist nonoko135 btw, bit tough to find a single image with both ships) Fairly popular ships in their own right, Todomomo doesn’t get many hints but they are sweet, naive rich kids with their own confidence issues, it also feels like they look out for each other especially after the final exam they did together. With Kamijirou though it’s probably one I favour if I had to choose between the two, simply because it’s a dynamic I really like; she busts on him so hard to mask her enjoyment of his company and he takes it because he feels at ease around her, the best part is when Kaminari goes 0 volts, he makes her laugh and that’s kinda big for Jirou given how self-conscious and stoic she can be. Rurouni Kenshin was always on my list, I have often heard about the Swordsman with a blade that cuts no-one. The anime is a bit up and down, after Shishio it’s just filler, but as documented in my Redemption Arc post it is at its core a great story of redemption for the main character, and the driving force for Kenshin’s redemption is his love for Kaoru

While Sano and Megumi have a unique dynamic hinted to be romantic at times, nothing can really beat Kenshin and Kaoru, she literally became Kenshin’s conscience, a representation of his hope to be a good man away from the shadow of Battousai the Manslayer. It may be your traditional romance of the two wanting to be by each other’s side in danger but it works so well given the kind of danger Kenshin is often in. Kaoru still strives to protect herself and aid Kenshin in a way that doesn’t make her continuously wonder about being a burden and Kenshin does everything in his power to keep Kaoru from pain, physical and emotional, even if it meant leaving to keep her safe. The main part of what makes this lovely is the fact that not only did Kaoru’s influence make Kenshin value his own life once more but after continual torment in his past she still saw him as the person he wanted to be, and welcomed in a new home, a new family he was able to live a life he never imagined he could deserve. The Regulars Our Regulars are the ships I still consistently ship, they’re not very old but they’re still pretty great and they still stand the test of time. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has quite a few ships over its 6 (coming up 7) season lifespan, being the longest surviving MCU tv series and one of the most consistently great shows MCU offered - especially Season 4, some of the best TV was on Season 4. But while Philinda is close, Mack and Yoyo or even Piper and Davis (don’t, I don’t care if you believe she’s a lesbian with the hots for May these are my ships) there is one one ship in Shield you can all rally behind, Fitzsimmons

Even when canon it is a consistent emotional rollercoaster. One of those ships where the writers know you love it and decide to put you through as much pain and emotional torment as humanely possible. But you endure it, because these two smart kids are worth it. They have sweet moments, badass moments, emotional moments and even though they get brought apart time and time again, they still find each other, the universe cannot stop them - and it better end happily for them come next season. Overwatch was a phenomenon when it came out a few years ago, Blizzard may have caused it to have some heavily bad rep but I still look forward to its sequel coming out. Given its large roster and most of the characters’ sexuality and relationship status up in the air, it leaves a lot of room for shipping. I do still love Anahardt, Mercy76 kinda falling due to 76 being gay but I like Gency too, my rarepairs include McPharah and Symmzo but my favourite is actually Meihem.

Now I know, Mei’s only voice lines towards Junkrat are cold, they have differing views in terms of omnics and...due process of the law. But there’s a lot they do have in common; both are quite intelligent engineers having made their weapons by hand, both endured trauma and both love their puns. But even the stuff that make them different can compliment one another. You don’t have to like it, but I do, I enjoy the dynamic of Jamison being so head over heels that he embarrasses himself to try and get Mei’s attention, while Mei softens to the fact that his very nature is warped by his lawless upbringing and that deep down he is an exciting and in his own way sweet guy.  Back to anime, because what else do I do with my day, getting into One Piece was always going to be a long effort, keeping tabs on the Manga does make it easier and I’ve been able to catch up quickly. Ships are shaky territory with One Piece because Oda does make a point of not having romance happen a lot, not to existing living characters at least. But I still have the ones I like; Shanks x Makino, Sabo x Koala, Franky x Robin, Sanji x Pudding, Rebecca x Koby, the list goes on, but my favourite has to be Zoro x Tashigi

May not be up there with the ‘big ships’ of One Piece but I do enjoy them the most. Individually the two are characters I have deep interest in; Zoro is well Roronoa Fucking Zoro, santoryu swordsman extraordinaire, master of nothing happening and will cut you 8 ways to Sunday, but Tashigi is a character I like because she also tries, unlike Zoro she isn’t blessed with 2 years training with Mihawk and she’s at constant arms with this self doubt that as a Woman she won’t be as strong (and probably whoever of influence to her made her believe such a thing), people may get on her back for never winning a fight but she fights strong people without a second thought. But back to the pairing, they have an interesting dynamic; two very similar people on different sides of the law, I don’t think Tashigi continues to chase him simply because he refused to cut her in their fight and I don’t think it’s just her former resemblance to Kuina that gets Zoro so riled up about her, I mean Zoro is usually so chill to side characters to the point where he’s ready to throw down but with Tashigi, it’s different, they bicker but he also came to her aid. I still continue to hope that Tashigi shows in Wano for more Zoro interaction, and to prove herself to fans and to Zoro that she is strong and capable. One of my favourite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, a combination of laughter, tears and deep philosophical character journeys in a 20th century world with the alchemy fantasy element drawn from actual legit alchemical sources. It just hits all the right notes for me, and ships hit right too; I love most of the ships from EdWin, AlMay and LingFan, but like Fitzsimmons there is one ship that stands above even the main characters, Royai.

Mustang and Hawkeye right from the bat have that connection that needs no dancing around, they care for each other but they work together. Like the rest of the ships they banter, argue but always have each other’s backs, to the point that they go into an insane rage at even the threat of the other being hurt. I don’t think anyone can not ship these two, that’s how strong their chemistry is, even if they can’t officially label it as a relationship because of their jobs it’s that line in the sand that everyone knows it, because it’s impossible to ignore. The Old Guard So we get to the oldest ships in my catalogue, the fact that they could stand the test of time is for a long time what shaped me as a shipper. I still ship these to this day so I ship them pretty hardcore Comics is probably the hardest place to ship something, because different writers will try different pairings at the drop of a hat. Even consistent pairings like Spiderman and Mary Jane, Batman and Catwoman, Beat Boy and Raven, Superman and Lois and more can end up being split in favour of Cindy Moon (I do love Silk), Wonder Woman and others. But I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve always loved Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon

I may’ve liked Teen Titans, but I was never on Team Starfire, it’s fine if you are but to me I have always been in with Dick and Babs. Not only do they have excellent banter but they gel well on and off of crime fighting, no matter how many times DC break them apart (like seriously, how many times do you have to try Bruce and Barbara until you realise that it creeps people out?) they always find each other again someway down the line, they are one of DC’s best couples and while they may never get a definitive ending because of the nature of comics, I still love that there’s a relationship of two strong individuals who can stand as equals and continue to keep their charm and wit after years of being together. When I was young, decades ago as it pains me to type, Digimon was the prime competitor against Pokémon’s tidal wave. Its anime had an awesome opening, more characters with some deeper themes and a quicker pacing. While many could quickly connect to Tai or Matt for their leaderlike attitude or Joe and Izzy for their intelligence or Mimi and Sora for their determination, I gravitated towards TK, a child who had room to grow and the greatest of potential, so when the Dark Masters came in we saw one of my oldest ships take form, Takari

TK and Kari’s pairing was popular that it managed to carry on into Adventure 02 and we got plenty of lovely moments in TRI (though they shorthanded both by having Ophanimon quickly fused and Seraphimon - one of the strongest Digimon - digivolve as backup in a Sora episode). 02′s epilogue is of course a sore spot we can hope Kizuna retcons because these two have been through thick and thin and their bond is clear. Even as they reach their late teens and TK has become master of hats and joined Matt’s band, they still hang out, banter and tease but they still are comfortable to hold each other’s hand and be vulnerable with one another too. Digimon may’ve been a contender, but Pokémon was still the clear winner, even to this day it is one of the most popular franchises in the world. The anime may be an up and down slope (current series seems a tad boring, 10 episodes before Ash caught a Pokémon, plus I don’t like that Ash won in Alola and now thinks he doesn’t have to try) but you can never take away the nostalgia, or the ships. I’ve shipped many in Pokémon in various media; Mallow x Lillie and Jessie x James in the anime, Ruby x Sapphire in the Manga, Looker x Anabel in the games (with Emma being their adoptive daughter dammit Looker you could’ve taken her with) among others and from Pokémon comes the oldest ship I’ve ever shipped, Pokéshipping

Before I even knew what Shipping was I shipped this, Misty may also be mostly the reason for my attraction to redheads but that’s neither here nor there. People may not like it, may prefer some of the softer spoken female (or male) companions Ash has had or feel they’ve grown out of it, but not me. I loved Misty’s feistiness and determination but also the fact that she could reign Ash in (sometimes) to make him think things through, as much as Misty was a companion to Ash she was a rival, a teacher and a supporter of his goal, but she also had her own goals which she fought for as well. They may bicker but they have also had tender moments as well and even with Misty’s return in the excellent Sun and Moon episodes they had their chemistry is palpable. To me, Ash and Misty were kindred spirits and the feeling has never changed since. So with another year of Valentine’s Day going the way it usually does, I’d like a moment to thank these ships, and all my other ships I didn’t have the space to mention, for being something that brings out happiness and a soft joy deep within my being, and for all the fanartists and fanfic writers that bring that love to life Happy Valentine’s Day

[dent-de-leon]

I heard Season 7 wasn't so great. I'm sure you think otherwise, but what were some highlights that you think made it worthwhile, if you did?

Alright,, get ready for this, cause I think Season 7 was pretty good, so let’s get to it:

I think lots of people who were disappointed with season 7 conflated the importance of certain things and events--especially Adam--and their hatred for the season is more so a result of it not adhering to expectations they arbitrarily decided on. 

For instance, before season 7 even dropped, we still had people claiming Shiro and Adam were fiances previously, somehow still fiances, or were meant to be. People honestly thought they’d get back together after a messy breakup and years of distance. So many fans thought a wedding was inevitable. All of this in spite of the show runners repeatedly confirming that they were never engaged, the relationship was permanently over, and Adam was really just part of Shiro’s backstory. And you can bet lots of them treated Shiro like he wasn’t “real rep” after Adam was gone, which wasn’t fair honestly. 

So anyway, some of the things season 7 did for us:

fINALLY REVEALED THE LONG AWAITED PREKERBEROS BACKSTORY BETWEEN SHIRO AND KEITH,, we’ve waited years for this guys!! It was so heartwarming and beautiful to see how their pasts intertwined to shape the present, how Keith is still by Shiro’s side all these years later,, even paralleling his devotion to Shiro with Shiro’s literal ex-boyfriend,, 

REVEALED SHIRO WAS CANONICALLY MLM,, LIKE,, THIS WAS THE REPRESENTATION THE SHOW RUNNERS HAD BEEN FIGHTING FOR ALL THIS TIME. AND IT WAS EXPLICIT, ONSCREEN REP FROM A LEAD CHARACTER. THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME,, and I’ll literally never be okay with people still crying “queerbaiting” after everything the staff went through to do this for us,, 

Keith literally willing Shiro back to life with the power of love made me like cry I can’t get over how soft and sweet they are,, 

Exploring the inner-workings and politics of the Galaxy Garrison 

WE FINALLY GOT SOME MORE QUINTESSENCE SENSITIVE KEITH AND DRUID CONTENT!!! Again, this is the payoff we’ve been waiting for since season 1!! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a Druid with more of an established character and background beyond just Faceless Enemy?? We got so much interesting info here. And the episode played out with all these neat little horror tropes--Keith hiding and tensing up when the Druid walks over his spot and that one step creaks, that maniacal laugh and mask splitting open, some of Macidus’ creepy mannerisms, ect. Parts of that episode gave me chills, I loved it!! And again, these are some of the answers and world building tidbits we’ve been waiting ages for,, 

Shiro’s new hand is cool and I love the design. I don’t care that lots of people think otherwise lmao. It’s so fun to me,, I love how big and floaty it is,, and I love that scene where Allura uses the tiara crystal to salvage Shiro’s connection with it. She was so ready for that, no hesitation, and I wish that maybe there was more of a followup to that--Allura thinking of how she got the tiara from her mother in a flashback, Shiro thanking her afterwards, something. 

SHIRO CONNECTING WITH ATLAS WAS BEAUTIFUL,, that moment where everything just sort of clicks into place. And everyone looks to him for guidance. It’s really magical. And I honestly think Shiro being able to create his own mech through his bond with Atlas is kind of a callback to that scene where Allura tells him he was meant to create, not destroy. 

In the same vein, I also think it was actually really great that Keith was the one to cut down Sendak. You can read my whole thought process on it here, but long story short, Shiro was tortured both mentally and physically by Sendak for so long. And all the time, he kept trying to push Shiro, trying to force him to be the monster the Galra always intended to make him. Killing Sendak just isn’t Shiro to me, but it’s the kind of thing Sendak would love. At least then, he’d get in a last word about how they’re supposedly the same or some other bullshit that would just torture Shiro more. And honestly, I think Shiro has been forced to do enough violence at the hands of the Galra. Keith killing Sendak is him shouldering the weight of taking a life so Shiro doesn’t have to. It’s a reprieve. It’s Keith cutting down Shiro’s demons and then being there to hold Shiro in his arms afterwards. Psychologically, I think this is so much more healing for Shiro than the alternative. That shot where Keith takes Sendak down? That’s not a Big Hero moment, it’s dark and viscerally personal. It’s not Keith stealing the spotlight from Shiro or anything, it’s Keith doing something gutting and ugly so Shiro doesn’t have to, it’s freeing Shiro from Sendak’s influence for good--and ensuring Shiro won’t have to make the killing blow frees him in a way, ends the cycle of Shiro potentially being haunted by the continued cycle of violence Sendak tried to trap him into. 

And again, I’m saying all that with the context that Shiro always pushed himself to do everything on his own, to shoulder the weight of the world--hello Atlas--because he spent so long with others looking at him with the misconception that he needed to be shielded and protected, that he couldn’t do things alone or couldn’t push past a certain point, reducing him to the symptoms of his illness--hi Adam. This season doesn’t coddle Shiro or remove him from the action. He’s not “retired,” he’s Captain, Commander. He lets himself lean on Keith for support, be held safe in his arms. But then shoves a medic away and runs to his battle station in the very next episode. Part of his character arc is learning that there can be a balance between others thinking they know what’s best for him and doing everything on his own. He learns, through his bond with Keith, that he can lean on someone and look to them for support--without being coddled or looked down on. “We saved each other”--Keith has always believed in him, has never once doubted his abilities, so trusts him enough to let be vulnerable with Keith, to let him help out when he needs it. 

WE FINALLY GOT A BIGGER HUNK STORY ARC--ALSO THE AMAZING SCENE BETWEEN HUNK AND KEITH THAT BUILDS ON THEIR EARLIER DEVELOPMENT TOGETHER,,

We see the wonderful payoff for Lance and Allura’s feelings for one another--the cute little exchanges,, Lance’s sister noticing What’s up,, the blushing and soft looks...it was so good...a lot of people hated that cause they hate the ship, but like, it was a buildup of natural progression for these characters. 

Everything in regards to Hunk, Lance, and Pidge’s families building on their respective backstories and character development

KEITH TAKING KROLIA TO VISIT HIS FATHER’S GRAVE WAS SUCH A NICE TOUCH IT HURT BUT IT FELT LIKE GOOD CLOSURE,, 

ALTEAN REI,, THE WHOLE NOTION OF HAGGAR ABANDONING THE DRUIDS AND CREATING AN ALTEAN ARMY,, THAT’S SUPER INTERESTING IM READY TO GET MORE INTO THAT,,

ATLAS IS A REALLY AWESOME MECH AND IM GLAD SHIRO HAS IT,,

So,, in conclusion--I don’t think the season’s perfect, there are some things I think could’ve been improved, but I also think it honestly did a lot of good things and built on established canon. Season 6 is what I see as the writing’s highest point for reference, btw. 

[lucyyh]

Ranting: Arrow 7x13

Ok, this was one hell of a ride!

I love the episode. Truly. The newbies didn't annoy me, Digg didn't annoy me (much) and Stan The Fan is one hell of a bad guy!!

William, Oliver and Felicity:

The first scene was funny, with Felicity telling Oliver he shouldn't give pancakes to Will until they talked...Oliver's little "after pancakes or..." yes, I laughed the three times I watched the scene. It's just hilarious, and pretty much confirmation that Felicity is the boss of those boys. Second part, the whole conversation...it was heartbreaking. You can see the toll it took on William what Oliver's decision did. He is lost, angry and hurt. He needs some stability, and he is not getting it with Oliver and Felicity. Him calling his grandparents was his way of having some control over the situation, and basically asking for help to the people he sees the most stable and safe in all this mess...

The dinner...you could feel the tension there, and Felicity trying to diffuse the situation. Oliver of course, can resist his wife, because that little smile here?

Man, even when you are hurting you can't help but smile when your wife says something cute or funny.

I'm gonna be honest: I don't like that he left. At all. I felt like once again, the writers are losing an opportunity to solve this conflict in an organic, real  way ...shipping him off to his grandparents (even if he wanted to go), it feels like the easiest solution.

It gave us some really great father-son scenes...Jack has grown up so much, and improve his acting skills a lot, to the point where he played his scenes with Stephen beautifully. It made me teared up everytime they fought, and that final scene? it killed me.

Little bit about the grandparents: You do not have the right to throw in Oliver's face how he was absent for most of Will's life, when it was your daughter the one who decided to tell him she had lost the baby. You don't. Your daughter took the chance of being a present father for him for too long. So now that he is struggling, you don't get to judge him.

I'm really hoping we see William again.

Stan The Fan:

MY GOD STAN, YOU AWESOME LIL' PSYCHO.

I love him, seriously. He is everything a good villain should be: terrifying, cunning, crazy, sneaky and intelligent. The best villain we have had since Adrian  Chase. I bet he could have killed Diaz in 0,00001 seconds.

He was scary, and the scene in the house? oh my, yes! writers, you did good with all the creepiness and anticipation. That was some grade A writing. Usually is so difficult to write horror, but here? yes, yes, good shit, good shit. I love terror movies/shows/books, but most of what's out there is pretty meh. This was not.

How Dinah got her scar surprised me. I was expecting it to be the anti vigilante task force in the future to give it to her, so it was an "Oohhhh" moment whe Stan came out of nowhere and almost killed her.

The last scene with The Smoak-Queens and Stan. WOW. I watched the episode twice and still it gave me the chills!. He was absolutely nuts, and I feared he could hurt Felicity at any given moment. To his bad luck Smoak-Queens are baddasses that work together even when paralized. Great team work!

Curtis:

Gotta say, I was expecting him to die. I wouldn't be sad about it...because everytime he was on my screen I was rolling my eyes or yelling at him for being a self-righteous idiot. But finally the writers did him some good: I empathize with him, and he was damn right in how he viewed A.R.G.U.S. Sorry Digg, but you are delusional if you think A.R.G.U.S. is doing good. You are seeing what you want to see, not what the agency really is.

I think it was a good solution to send him away, without killing him off (the  favorite solution from the writers to get rid of characters). And he'll go to do some good. It was a great goodbye.

BTW writers: saying a character gay is not enough. That the love interest says they will go on a date, is not enough. Them sharing a fucking scene in 13 episodes, IS NOT ENOUGH. Not knowing what happened with that relationship, after you send the character away, IF FUCKING AWFUL.

That's not representation. That's you preaching about it, without investing time and effort on it.

Flashforwards:

Ok, confirmation of what we already knew. Love Will's face when Mia told him if he had a romance with Felicity XDDD. And when he said she was his mom? I LOST IT. I made an oinsssssss noise that lasted longer than necessary XDDD.

Mia's anger against the vigilantes...does that means the team once again  abandoned Felicity? I'm starting to think they did.

Love JJ here. Although he shouldn't have left Roy and Dinah alone.

Olicity:

They have scenes together YAY!!! the conversation in the kitchen...it was painful. And necessary. Felicity was right: they needed to think about what Will needed, even if it broke their hearts...

Now, Oliver. Look at your wife goddammit. This is lasting too long. Seriously.

And...Olicity baby! who was surprised? not me XDD. I think the only thing it actually surprise me, was the time. I was kinda expecting this was announced at the end of the season, not now. But still. We knew there was going to be a baby at some point, and it seems it arrived. It's a good moment? I don't think so, but that's just me.

I have to be honest: I was pretty...what's the word? neutral about the baby. I didn't care if they had children, or if they never had. It's not something I worried about, or demanded. For me, a family doesn't need a child to be a family. It kinda bothers me when people feel that they aren't complete if they don't have kids, and in fiction, a lot of times it feels like they have kids  to fulfill this fantasy: the family with 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket-fence house. And...no.  There's different realities, different families. I think it's time to accept that.

That's it. I love the episode. I can't believe we'll have to wait three weeks for the next one. WTH.

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

Charles Xavier Is A Huge Dick: The Movie

or,

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Hey, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and don’t want to be spoiled, you probably should stop reading!

*

I watched the new X-Men movie. Not only I’m that annoying cinema-goer that sits behind you and mocks the movie audibly during the seance, oh no, I’m also that annoying cinema-goer that comes back home and makes a bitchy tumblr post about the movie.

But, guys, that was so bad.

First off: I’m convinced that upon reading the script, James MacAvoy and Sophie Turner instantly lost the will to act, because we’ve all certainly seen far better performances from both of them.

My other theory is that the director simply told them not to bother, because this was, as far as I can tell, a deliberate franchise-killer.

The scene-by-scene description of the train-wreck under the cut for the curious.

PROLOGUE

We open the movie with the scene where young Jean Grey and her parents are in car crash, because Jean Cannot Control Her Powers. The kid survives; the parents aren’t so lucky. This scene is generally inoffensive, if predictable.

From now on, young Jean Grey behaves like a kid-shaped robot. Someone please write her better dialogue.

Charles Xavier arrives at the hospital, confirms her parents are dead, somewhat unenthusiastically delivers some well-worn platitudes and whisks her away to his school.

Hey, mutant powers are like pens. Especially the ones you can’t control, because sometimes pens go on a rampage and stab people in the eyes, you know, unintentionally.

(No, seriously, they went with that metaphor.)

TITLES - BACK TO THE FUTURE - or 1992, I guess, one cheer for 90s nostalgia

In effort to remind us humans that as a species we did some cool things on our way to ruining the planet, we watch the launch of a space shuttle.

Suddenly Houston, we have a problem. A sentient solar flare or something is attacking the brave astronauts! Oh no! Who’re we gonna call?!

Charles Xavier!

Like literally, the Mr. President of US of A calls Charles Xavier, like Chuck, are you watching the TV rn?, and Xavier’s like, already giddy with anticipation, Why yes, Mr. President, I see you are in a spot of trouble, and Mr. President’s like, Sooo, Chuck, I literally HATE TO ASK, BUT... and Xavier’s like, practically bouncing with glee, BUT OF COURSE, X-MEN TO THE RESCUE!!!

So Chuck sends off his chicks. Nominally, the team is under Mystique’s command. There also Hank, and baby-faced Storm, and even more baby-faced Kurt Wagner, oh yeah JEAN, she’s there too bc PLOT, and Scott was along too. Did I forget anyone?

I forgot someone, didnt I?

OH YEAH, the Quicksilver was there too. Considering how cool he was in earlier movie(s?), it’s kinda sad that he’s largely inconsequential here and I forgot about his existence about halfway through.

Charles calls Houston on the Cerebro like a huge showoff he is, and the X-Men proceed to rescue the astronauts from weird-looking space cloud (which is of course the Phoenix Force, or whatever comics call it). There’s some cool looking scenes here where X-Men use their powers, but they’re just window dressing for the main plot:

Charles Xavier is being a huge dick, backseat driving this mission through Cerebro and not trusting Mystique’s judgement.

BTW, Mystique might be the only character in the movie who behaves like a sensible person, which is why she’s not there for very long.

Anyway the scene goes like this:

Mystique: we saved ALL BUT ONE astronaut! Coming back for that one guy is super risky and probably will only lead to more deaths! I’m cutting my loses like sensible field leader!

Prof X: OH NO YOU WON’T get back for that one guy or the whole mission is a failure!!!

Mystique: WTF??!! That’s crazy, we will get killed!

Prof X: But it’s better to throw away our lives than have less than 100% record on rescue mission, because if we give humans even slightest pretext, they will instantly revert back to hating us, see? The President will stop taking my calls, people will want to arrest us for property damage, and neutralize our powers and stick us in prison for mutants.

Mystique: ...seriously, why am I on your side again?!

Prof X: Just have Kurt take Jean to the shuttle and she’ll hold it intact while he looks for the guy! Raven, I want to remind you I can bitch at you telepathically anytime, anywhere, for the rest of your life!

Mystique: DAMN YOU FINE

So they do it. Kurt manages to rescue the guy, but not Jean. The shuttle blows to bits around her. We are supposed to be sad for 2 seconds there, but then the Phoenix Flare swallows her, she survives, X-Men return to Earth with the astronauts and are showered with praise from adoring masses who stand there with cutesy sings to welcome them upon landing. Whatever.

Jean has a conversation with Scott where they mack on each other and she reassures him She’s Never Been Better, Really, I Feel Great After That Traumatic Experience, and Scott is like, IDK but okay?? I guess??

And Hank checks her out too, and her power is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND, but Jean’s like, chill, I feel greeeeeat, so Hank’s like, the only problem with this situation is that I need to design a better power-meter!! Ha ha!

Meanwhile, back to plot A, where Charles Xavier continues to be a huge dick. Mystique calls him out about his control freak thing, Charles responds by being a sanctimonious asshole because it’s not like he ever learns or grows as a person in these movies, you know, and Mystique basically throws her arms up and storms out, which is a good representation for audience reaction at that point. Her parting shot is one of like two good lines in the whole movie:

Mystique: And anyway, as far as I can see, the women saved the day again! Maybe you should think about renaming us X-Women!

The movie will shortly repay her for that, don’t worry.

Some other things happen. Creepy aliens looking for Phoenix Booster covertly invade Earth. Mystique goes to Hank and says, hey so Charles is being a huge dick and a total control freak. I’m kinda fed up with him, maybe it’s time to move out and start living our own life? To which Hank is like, IDK Raven do even have a life outside X-Men, and I don’t want to move out of my lab, and Mystique is like, ugh okay I’ll stay.

Jean gets upset at the party and pushes some people over in midst of Phoenix breakdown, which makes everyone panic. Charles notices that her power is now OVER 9000 and he can’t just go and fuck around in her mind anymore, so the logical solution is to use Cerebro to do that anyway.

It turns out that Phoenix thing not only amplified Jean’s power, it also dissolved mental blocks Charles put in her mind to hide a terrible truth from her: her father survived the car crash. In fact, with her powers, she can find her father right now! Jean, in midst of her generic emotional crisis, blows out of the school to do exactly that, because she feels alone and misunderstood and betrayed, man.

It turns out he willingly gave her up and I guess hates her because she caused the accident by putting her mother to sleep while driving. Jean is pretty upset and about to smite the whole neighbourhood, when the X-Men arrive.

This is how X-Men discreetly take care of their business: They suit up in their official uniforms and take their official super-advanced jet and land it on the street, so everyone around will know what’s up. The only thing they were missing while confronting Jean was the transparent with the word INTERVENTION.

Jean freaks out, X-Men try to fight her, they all cause maximum collateral damage possible, there’s police, Mystique tries to talk Jean down, Jean semi-accidentally kills Mystique by pushing her over and impaling her on some wooden debris.

It’s all very badly written and feels utterly cheap and is a total waste of character. Frankly, the scene made me angry and not much else. But since the whole movie revolves on the fact that everyone is an idiot, Mystique didn’t go there anyway, I guess.

Anyway, it furthers three things:

Plot A, Charles is reaching new heights of being a huge dick wherein he goes to sprout platitudes at Hank, who predictably doesn’t want to listen to him and lashes out, to which Charles reacts very maturely by being OFFENDED, because Raven was HIS sister, OBVIOUSLY he’s the MOST injured party here! (No, seriously, he pretty much says that).

Plot B, Hank needs to be a bigger idiot, to which we will come back in a moment.

Plot C, Jean Grey is now Public Enemy Number One and all people are back to hating humans! The President literally stopped taking Xavier’s calls, people want to arrest X-Men for property damage, neutralize their powers and stick them in prison for mutants.

Oh, and aliens are tracking Jean to get the Phoenix Power or whatever.

Jeans next move is to go visit Erik Lehnsherr, who is living like a hobo in Genosha with a handful of like-minded mutants. She wants to ask him for life advice, I guess, because when Charles Xavier is being a huge dick and hiding your memories of your childhood trauma from you without your consent, Magneto is the only alternative.

Too bad she wants advice on Not Killing People With My Powers When I’m Kinda Upset With Them. It’s unsurprising that Erik Lehnsherr, who spend his whole life Deliberately Killing People With His Powers Because He Was Very Upset With Them, can’t really relate.

This upsets Jean further, and she demonstrates that by attacking US soldiers who came to Genosha to arrest them and doing her best to kill them. Then she flies off to drink in a bar, where an alien picks her up, because it wants to show her the whole wide world or something.

Let’s come back to plot B for a moment, which is Hank being an idiot. Hank is very distraught and wants to kill Jean. So Hank goes to Magneto.

Hank: I want to kill Jean and I need your help with that.

Erik: Wait, what? Why?

Hank: She killed Mystique!

Erik, already frothing at the mouth: ...let me grab my I’m Being A Huge Idiot Helmet, Hank, and we can commence the business of killing.

So the aliens are pitching their “Let’s Re-Create The Earth In Your Image” campaign to Jean, which can be done only in a New York townhouse, specifically in a very special bedroom (...oh hey, I didn’t pick up on that creepy vibe until now!).

Jean is largely convinced, because in this movie characters just go back and forth as the plot demans.

So both Charles and Erik with their lackeys track down Jean, and have a huge fight in front of the above-mentioned townhouse, with lots and lots of collateral damage while they debate who is right. Before that, Erik has the second good line in the movie, which is used to rightfully call out Charles:

Erik: You’re always sorry and there’s always a speech. But no one wants to listen anymore.

Anyway, X-Men and the mutants beat up each other, Erik gets into the house and fails to kill Jean, then Charles gets in the house and tries to talk down Jean, which is followed by perhaps the most genuinely disquieting scene in the movie, in which Jean uses her telekinesis to destroy the wheelchair and force Charles to walk up the stairs.

They have an exchange that is supposed to be hopeful and heartwarming and so on, but by this point I’m fed up with this world movie.

Jean rejects the aliens’ campaign, so the alien head honcho attempts to suck out the Phoenix Dust out of her, and partially succeeds, but is interrupted midway and knocked out. All the mutants are arrested, put into special shackles restricting their powers and put on a train which is going straight to special prison for mutants.

Don’t worry, we’re in the last stretch.

Aliens need the rest of Phoenix Macguffin, so they ambush the train. There’s a big action scene, everyone is fighting the aliens, there are a few cool shots but beyond that I’m blanking. In the end Jean awakens, wipes the floor with the aliens, and when the alien head honcho tries to emotionally blackmail her into not eviscerating its hide, she grabs it, flies up into the sky and explodes them both.

Much sad. Very sacrifice. Such tears etc etc etc.

AN EPILOGUE, FINALLY

The situation returns to the status quo, except some people are dead.

The humans were about to lock up mutants in a prison like five minutes earlier, but nobody mentions that. Guess everyone forgot about that.

As far as I can tell, nobody except X-Men noticed that Earth was about to be invaded by aliens.

The school is renamed after Jean Grey.

Hank is the new headmaster. On his desk, a cheesy nostalgic photo of Mystique.

Charles, despite seemingly getting a pass on his dickishness on every turn in this narrative, is Worn Down By His Losses and retires. He occupies his time by brooding morosely at a cafe in unspecified European-looking country.

Erik finds him there. He is disproportionately cheery, like a man who after decades of pining finally is in a place where he can bully his longtime crush into a reluctant chess date, which he proceeds to do.

Camera pans up, to the sky. The sky gives us Phoenix Force-shaped wink.

THE END

[mswyrr]

rewatch: “return of the jedi” [1983]

The sense of texture to the worlds and people and use of practical effects really makes it feel lived in and specific, even with the crappy CGI stuff Lucas added later! I can see why the grit, texture, and mythological storytelling appealed to so many people, even though I was a Trekkie as a kid. They’re very distinct worldviews: one based in the modern myth of progress and the other reaching for dramas of family and psychology that go back as far as recorded history and probably further

Leia is treated with so much more kindness and respect than female characters were by default in 1970s-80s movies. Sure, there are limits, but this is really on the higher end of representation at the time. Even with the slave costume thing! As Carrie said, she strangles Jabba to death. And btw just in general kudos to Carrie, who is captivating whenever she’s on screen <3

There’s a lot of ways to interpret it, but as someone who’s studied the post-WWII period it strikes me as such a cri de coeur of a Boomer son with a Greatest Generation father. Dad is frightening, modernist, distant, broken but keeping it all inside. Beneath technology and control. Did I mention kind of frightening? And he wants you to turn yourself into a weapon for The Man too, to fight the same evil imperialistic battles. But you just want to hang out and be chill and connect with your own soul/the universe and let other people do their thing too

Moving away from political metaphor, the idea of accepting the darkness in yourself and your own family legacy (even if your close kin are amazing, if you’re part of the human family, you’re part of a family that has committed murder, cruelty, etc and have to find a way to understand that) and finding the strength to move forward in light and love through your recognition of that is really really cool

Luke as a christlike figure willing to suffer physical torments and risk himself for his father’s salvation is intense and unique. Breaks a lot of rules of traditional “masculine” heroism where you bend the world to your force and pummel it into submission. ALSO I’d like to note that he achieves compassionate love not by emptying himself of feelings (as I feel like the Jedi Order came to over-emphasize)... the fear and anger are still there, but he chooses to have faith and that proves stronger than his fear and anger. Even though it’s a battle! And I LOVE that it’s a battle. I never really felt his journey as a young person and I know a ton of people have a problem with TLJ... but I finally love the guy? I love him as someone who has always struggled and who has very dark times and yet manages to reclaim his faith and be a beacon of hope...  He’s kind of a Marty Stu, especially early on. But the Boomer son stuff and nonviolent conflict resolution is really special and always has been. I feel like his complete journey emphasized that even more in a way that really works for me. Faith and love didn’t just come easy for him. Life is a perpetual struggle and sometimes we fall but we can rise again too. The light is always there for you.

Mark Hamill is much hotter to me than Harrison Ford sorry not sorry

Speaking of TLJ, people climb all over Rian Johnson’s ass for the pacing but at even the slowest moments of Canto Bight there were, like, three levels the story was operating on and there’s a ton of screen time here that is just empty action or weirdly paced. I actually like that; the more chill pacing at times, with characters just, like, wanting to hang out with their new Ewok friends works for the story. Though I could have done without the singing/dancing routine by the sex slaves (??)/sex workers at Jabba’s place

[sweet-satisfactionn]

CLEXACON 2018

Hello everyone! As I am not (yet) a YouTuber, this post will serve as my recap. Last year I made a post on the con itself and how it made me feel being there as a first time attendee (x). But this year I am going to focus on the people I met or I was lucky enough to see again this year, because that is what ClexaCon was and still is to me, it’s all about the community. #WeAreClexaCon.

ClexaCon has grown exponentially since last year and, therefore, the kru has grown with it. I love and appreciate everyone I met up with during my short stay, so I wanna give everyone their own thank you. Sorry if I forget anyone, I’m trying really hard not to and sorry for typos, this is a stream of consciousness thank you letter. 

Elke: Obviously I have to begin with my sister and frequent con buddy @damnlexa. My platonic soulmate. There’s nothing I could say here that I haven’t already said to her 100 (triggered) times over, but I’ll give it a shot. Any con, any event, any experience can only be improved by having Elke by your side. Not only is she incredibly smart, talented, funny and weird as fuck, but she has the most niche and hilarious kind of humour I have ever seen in a person. Honestly she’s so weird you guys. Sometimes being in a room full of strangers (potential friends) can be terrifying, especially to a nervous asshole like me. Just having her in the same room as you even if she’s not close by can be incredibly comforting, because I know that if I’m ever in trouble in a conversation, all I need to do is look at her and she’ll be right there with me. Knowing that she’s there really opened me up to talk to more people this year than I felt comfortable with last year. Without her I wouldn’t have made half of the friends I made at ClexaCon and I bet she doesn’t even realise that, so thank you Elke. Now I have to move on because people will get jealous!

Sofia Rojas: The only negative thing I can say about Sofia @shes-special is that I didn’t spend see her more. One of the only people that can make me burst into laughter just by looking at her. Has a smirk that drives the ladies crazy. It’s a good one you guys. A very honest and kind hearted Canadian, which means that (I think) it’s quite easy to see what she’s thinking. This led to many moments during the convention where you couldn’t keep your face to yourself Sofia, which I have forgiven you for because it caused the bursting into laugher moments that were stated above. Master of the accidental deadpan humour “is that what you’re wearing?” which still cracks me up. Also only ally I had in the d*ke jokes, which is very appreciated! You didn’t leave me out in the cold (like a certain small, cardigan losing, Australian). I now have a shot glass collection because of you and I’ll think about you every time I use them (such a kind gift, ty shrimp! <3). Again, wish I could have seen her more, but CLEXACON 2019!?

Rin: My mother hen who I have said way too many nice things about these past few days, so what more can I say? You can never be sad when you’re in a room with Rin, you can try but it doesn’t work. Even the most emo of lesbians will smile when talking to her, she’s a ray of sunshine and no one can ever tell me otherwise. She’s remarkably talented in everything I’ve seen her do and she’s fiercely passionate about all the things she loves *cough* Faberry. It’s easy to feel ashamed when talking about the things you love, especially if it’s fandom related but that insecurity disappears when talking to her. Her resolve is strong, even when I ramble on about my questionable fandom choices (still love you Marley). There’s no one I’d have rather travelled the world with. Ed Sheeran, The Greatest Showman and now even Camila will always be associated with her. Sometimes it’s a good idea to not limit your friendship groups based on age and distance because you’ll find gems like matchbox_sized along the way. 

Ylva: Oh Wolverine, the new one of the group. A tall string bean I didn’t meet last year who has now stormed into my life. What would suite parties be without you to sing Eurovision songs with and belittle the Americans and Australians (boring; they’d be boring). Your blunt unwillingness to follow the rules of Kings/Ring of Fire is a memory to cherish. It’s rare to click so quickly with someone and so I am grateful for the times when things got hectic and I got separated from people and then miraculously found you. Sarcastic comments and deadpan humour always sound surprising coming from you which makes it even funnier. Best ClexaCon banter buddy. The con had it’s ups and downs but all of our chill sessions were definitely highlights, so thank you, SKAL. Swedish representation is important everyone. (ps. gonna start the Vikings just for you) (p.p.s. let’s put money on Israel to win Eurovision)

Emily-Anne: A YouTuber that, for me, was exactly the same online as she was in real life. The wit, compassion and well articulated thoughts are not a YouTube gimmick friends, it’s real. Again, only downside was that I didn’t get to see her more. In 2018 you need all the DCOM fans you can get, even if she didn’t know that Year 3000 isn’t a Jonas Brothers song, that can be forgiven! It’s important to have people in your life that will pity laugh at your jokes and for that Emily-Anne is a champ. Easy to forget this was her first year attending because she merged into the kru effortlessly. See you next year? We need all the bisexuals we can get, it ups our diversity quota.

Mollie: Oh Mollie, @molliemashstash MY AUSTRALIAN CARE FREE D*KE QUEEN. Can we say that word? EH, I just did. What would ClexaCon be without you annoying everyone and sticking a camera in people’s faces <3 Absolutely nothing. Your artistic abilities blow me away, it’s weird that so much talent can come from such a noob (jkjk). When everything gets too serious, it’s good to know that you're there to yell GOV and force things back to normal. I’m also very glad to see you sobbing into noodles, that memory will never leave me and I am very grateful for that. AUSTRALIAN ROAD TRIP CIRCA 2018? We’re bonded for life now so that’s definitely happening. #Machel #Rollie

Bri: BRIBRIBRIBRI!!!! An unexpected favourite of mine, unexpected in that I didn’t know you very well going into ClexaCon and now you’re one of favourite people. As soon as I got in your car (don’t get into cars with strangers everyone lol) I knew that we were going to get on and the fact that I immediately felt comfortable with you was v nice and v rare! It may have been due to how tired and delusional I was at this point but meh, I still <3 you. I am glad we got that last day together because we kept on missing each other at the con, everything was so hectic :’( I could easily spend an eternity arguing over culture differences with you and staring at you confused when you explain what mugging is and the horrors of America. Hopefully you <3 me back, because if not this is awkward. BYE.

Toni: I am constantly in awe of Toni’s passion and talent. Her writing ability is incredible, her podcasts blow me away. She is so articulate, which is a very hard to come by trait these days, and thinks carefully over her words. This makes her podcasts extremely interesting, which is further proven through her moderation of the Youtube 2.0 panel. Questions were carefully chosen, everyone had a chance to speak, a respectful tone was kept throughout with some well added, kind hearted banter, and I think a lot of that efficiency is thanks to Toni! Honestly check out her podcast, you’ll love her (x). (it’s on soundcloud and itunes) I can’t wait to spend more time with you at the Ultimates and when Uni is over we can make more plans okay friend! <3

Adrienne: Oh Adrienne. What a joy she is. Our humour clashes 8 times out of 10 but that’s what’s so great about ClexaCon, getting to get to know a wide range of people who are all different but all share the same one interest (QUEER LADIES). Your excitement is palpable and talking to you gets me to loosen up and be more carefree and spontaneous. You took this little introvert under your wing and even though your vet stories gross me out sometimes (okay all the time I’m sorry) I still love you and ClexaCon would never be the same without you. Also you hiccuping when... intoxicated, cracks me up every time I remember it. & your song was fckin incredible dude, no joke, record that shit!

Courtney: I’m so glad I got to talk to you more this year because omg you are a delight Courtney. The human personification of Hawaii. Chill, laid back, the calm amongst the storm. You made that last day fun instead of sad so thank you! Sense of humour on point and you didn’t take anyone’s shit, not even mine so good on you but also hey, pls love me. Also gives great food and sweet recommendations, even though I didn’t understand most of what was being given to me, I still bought it and trusted you. We have trust now Court, don’t ruin it. Also, is from Hawaii in case I haven’t mentioned that enough, don’t worry she’ll mention it for you. Hawaii is where she’s from btw. Did I talk about Hawaii yet?

Marcie: Wish I could have seen her more as well! After the ClexaCon weekend she earned 1 more subscriber, so, you’re welcome. Marcie has a very calming presence and I loved every conversation and experience I had with her; people often tell me that I’m judgemental (I’m working on it ok!) so that’s actually a big compliment. I was blown away by her intelligence and perspective. Very glad you got to be on the panel and I hope we meet again (*cry*) so we can talk more. 

Hannah: Volunteer Hannah! The lovely volunteer who went above and beyond for Elke and I last year and who we owe a great debt to. I only got to spend a few minutes at a time with you because you were off doing important volunteer things, but I am grateful for all the brief encounters I was graced with. Come to ClexaCon UK and we can spend all day, every day together! (bet you’re regretting ever coming up and saying hi to me now) <3 The world needs more people like Hannah and conventions need more volunteers like her who are going in for all the right reasons and not just to take selfies with Rachel Skarsten ;)

Lisa: MY FAVOURITE COMIC STRIP WRITER. Has one of my all time favourite twitter accounts that everyone needs in their life (hint: it involves lesbians and ants!) (x). We had some great moments didn’t we Lisa, like that time you tweeted a picture of your location and I realised it was exactly where I was standing; such a good meet-cute. I loved that we could have a really intense conversation 30 seconds before Chyler Leigh was about to come on stage and like, bit rude, Chyler can’t you see we’re trying to get to know each other here. I’m glad to have met you and I feel smarter for knowing you. 

Ella: Another person I literally hardly saw! Which is extremely frustrating but ahh why are cons so hectic?! An extremely lovely and compassionate person who I am lucky to have met and will continue to go on adventures with. See you in Liverpool/Manchester! I can’t wait. Drinks on me <3

Amelia & Kenzi: You guys are a package deal so you have to share a bullet point I’m sorry. Thank you for putting up with me trying to explain the rules of netball for a solid 3 hours (& thank you Amelia for understanding me). You 2 are adorable and were the best dinner table company a girl could ask for. You’re also really great at maths! & then trying to explain your working out to confused Europeans like me and Ylva who just wanted to pay for our meal using our weird fake dollars. You made that dinner very carefree and fun. CLEXACON 2019????

Also s/o to Pipes (x), Alex (x), Maddie (x) who I loved getting to meet and want to see more so I can give them the shoutout they deserve! I will continue to admire their respective works from afar.

[alixofagnia]

Dear Star Wars Diary,

Today, I went to my fourth and final big screen viewing of TLJ. It was bittersweet because I will likely not be watching this movie in its entirety again until I own it. What follows are some musings I had as I watched it for the last time, in all its theater-experience glory.

SNOKE

I don’t want to get into the whole “Kylo Ren is abusive and a mind rapist beh!” debate because it’s stupid, on several levels.

I just want to make the point: Snoke is the abuser and the not-an-actual-thing mind rapist in this story.

PAIGE and the BOMBERS

On my first viewing, I thought the opening bombing scene was insanity. Like, it was awesome and beautiful, but totally insane. I was seething: “Tallie! What happened to protecting all the bombers?! Also, why did you send so many?”

[Numbers, of course, increase the chances for success. But still. Surely they didn’t have to send ALL the bombers? Leia’s rank over Poe should’ve disengaged the bombers. I don’t know if this is supposed to be addressed with Poe’s cutting off communication with Leia or in an implication that the Resistance squadrons and bombers are simply more loyal and/or responsive to Poe, which is a troubling notion.]

But these are small quibbles in a bigger picture because you know what? The bomber scene is probably one of the most memorable moments for me as a female moviegoer of Asian descent. I’m not someone who actively seeks/looks for cultural representation or diversity in movies of any scale. But I have to admit…I was really moved.

The images: a lone bomber flying toward destruction and glory; a sole survivor with dogged determination and belief in her cause; calm composure in the face of Death.

Ugh. My heart.

I do like Rose, but I was more affected by Paige’s death than I felt I should’ve been, and I think it’s because I felt an added touch of pride. Here, for the film’s first lesson on failure, our teacher is a female character with a face like mine. And she literally has a single spoken line: her comrade’s name.

That is awesome.

LEIA’S LONG LOOKS

-Sensing Kylo through the Force

-Leaving Holdo on the Raddus; watching Holdo die

-Staring down the TIE fighters on Crait (Seriously! I can’t believe those TIEs stayed airborne!)

-Feeling Luke’s death

These are just my personal favorites. Carrie Fisher got some good one-liners in for Leia. But I think she was never more powerful than in her silent acting. It’s just so exquisite. I trust how J.J. Abrams and co. will handle her absence from IX, I really do. That being said, I personally feel like Leia’s death will have to be written in: after her performance in TLJ, it’s just not plausible to have Leia alive but not at the center of the action, nor is it plausible to have her alive and just never show up in the entire movie, to just have her constantly be referred to by other characters.There’s no closure there, and this is a character who demands closure of some kind in this trilogy.

People have theorized on a funeral opening the film or occurring early, and I think this is generally a good idea. It really sucks to have her die off-screen. But under the circumstances, I don’t think it would be wise to have a scene where her ship explodes or something of that nature because it seems unnecessarily cruel but, more practically, could take time away from moving the story forward; everything would have to sort of revolve around that and stall. But if the death occurs off-screen and we open on a funeral, it’s a better jumping off point for the narrative and characters. If Leia’s life in IX was going to be a plot device, particularly as it pertained to her son’s arc, then her death (harsh as it is) could also conceivably serve the same purpose.

LUKE the LEGEND

I’ll be honest: I was never a big Luke Skywalker fan. I liked him by virtue of the fact that I was supposed to because he was the hero in the hero’s journey storyline. But I didn’t feel any deeper connection to that character, although I did feel like he began to ascend to legend status in RotJ and I always liked him best in that movie. So, that’s sort of where the character ended for me; I never read any of the old EU and I didn’t have him built up in my mind the same way some people obviously did.

I absolutely love that Luke became a legend in his lifetime after RotJ. But I love that he succumbed to hubris even more. It’s so real, so human. The higher you go, the harder you fall. What I really can’t understand about all these butt-hurt fanboys, who expected Luke to always be Luke the Legend and never-stop-nevering, is that not only did you get a humanized presentation of your hero, but he did in fact re-ascend to legend status in TLJ. That isn’t bad story-telling; that’s amazing story-telling!

I can’t believe there was anyone who didn’t get chills when Luke Skywalker stalked out of that burning cave to the staccato of a stirring John Williams march. Like, where the fuck are you in your head?

Luke the Legend projected himself across worlds to bring hope to his sister, who had finally used up all of hers, and to a rag-tag group of rebels forsaken by their allies. Luke the Legend projected himself across the galaxy to apologize to the nephew he had wronged, preventing Ben Solo from adding to the blood already on his hands, thus saving him in the only way he could.

Luke the Legend gave his life to save those he loved.

What is so fucking character-destroying about that?!

HOLDO and DJ

Two of my favorite characters from TLJ were Holdo and DJ. One of the most common complaints I’ve heard/read about the them is that two excellent actors were wasted.

That is so insulting. That’s a back-handed compliment. “Oh, hey, Laura and Benicio, you guys are really super great and talented. But you were shit in TLJ. They did you real dirty.”

Because, actually, both Holdo and DJ were there in case the GA got lost and confused about the whole “failing is learning” theme. It’s a credit to the talents of Laura Dern and Benicio del Toro that they actually did as much as they did with what little screen time they had. Darth LeakyLungs from RotS had all the screen time in the world and I don’t even remember his name! (Wait, was he even a Darth? I dunno.)

Look, you can tell me that you weren’t able to care about either character. That’s fine. That’s legit. Not all characters, big or small, will resonate with everyone.

But don’t you dare tell me they were pointless or that the actors were wasted, because that’s a terrible lie and you know it.

KYLO REDEMPTION

Ahhhh, my most favorite topic.

Every time I’ve gone to see TLJ, I’ve gone in trying to be convinced that this was the end of Kylo’s arc. He’s done for. IX will be all about his actual, for real downfall, he will no longer be conflicted, he will die and he will die in the Dark. It’s finished.

Wonder of all wonders, I’ve never been more convinced of a redemption in some shape or form. It’s that final shot of him, the literal final shot of him, hanging his head, staring at the ground, where there is nothing JUST LIKE WHAT’S LEFT OF HIS BUSTED HEART.

Here’s the thing: if they weren’t intent, from the outset of this trilogy, on sending Kylo Ren on an arc of some kind (the anti-hero’s journey to Rey’s hero’s journey where they meet in the middle), then they wouldn’t have gone to such lengths to portray him as conflicted in TFA and they definitely wouldn’t have devoted AN ENTIRE MOVIE to humanizing him, all without resolving the conflict he started with. If anything, TLJ should’ve left him on a slightly less ambiguously conflicted note.

The point is if he were slated to stay and rot in hell, we would’ve left him in TLJ on that long-suffering, rage-fueled scream after Luke disappears. That’s the perfect note to end a going-nowhere arc on. If it ended there, I would 100% be on board with Kylo Ren: Irredeemable Asshole. Prepare for him NOT to finish what Vader started. (What does that even mean, btw? I’ve always wondered. What did Vader start that he didn’t finish? The 2nd Death Star?)

But we freaking didn’t leave him there! Oh no, we left him broken to bits on some dirty floor in the middle of nowhere. Furthermore, if he wasn’t going to be redeemed, we certainly would NOT have been shown that he’s still Force-connected to Rey, who now –lacking Leia– must serve as his only (corporeal) thread to the Light.

I just want one thing: Let Kylo Ren turn however he’s going to turn –Gray, Yellow, Pink, Blue, whichever color– just do it early-ish. I cannot sit through another entire movie of Flip-Flop Kylo only for him to make an actual decision in the closing five minutes.

Talk about doing a character dirty.

REYLO HUG

I don’t know why it was this one of all viewings, but today when I was watching the Austen Proposal, all I could think was, “Ehrmygawd, Rey! You need a hug! And he needs a hug! Just go hug him!”

I love Reylo, but I’m exhausting myself on this ship lol. I love and generally agree with all the metas on why it couldn’t go the way she wanted it to or the way he wanted it to. But I just kept thinking, as I was sitting there watching their sticky, weepy-eyed faces for the millionth time, Seriously. Go hug him!

Like, after being hit in the face with the blunt truth, what if Rey had said fuck it to the hand and just thrown her arms around him? It wouldn’t have fixed their problems, obviously; it actually probably would’ve made them worse.

But it would’ve fixed mine for the next 2 years!

[caramelomachiato-blog]

The Shadowhunter chronicles faves (spoilers for lord of shadows)

Okay but I'd protect: Kieran, Mark, Christina, Ty, Kit, Livvy (;-;), Dru, Tavvy, Helen, Aline, Diana, Jem, Tessa, Will (;-;), Alec, Magnus, Max and Rafe, Raphael (;-;), Simon, Izzy, Maia, Max (;-;), Jules, Alec, Kieran, Ty, Livvy, Alec, Magnus, Kieran, Raphael, Ty, Livvy, Dru, Diana, *repeat* with my life I love them so much I love Kit and relate to him on a spiritual level. I love his relationship with the twins (especially Ty if ya know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) and his frustration with Shadowhunters (he's expressing the viewers words tbh). I love his understanding and need to protect Ty. It's great to see someone doing the right thing for my baby bee boy. I love Dru so much being a middle child is hard, especially when you're 'too young' for literally everything and people forced your younger sibling on you. Also she's beautiful and her talks of insecurities about shape and weight really hit it home for me and I'm sure lots of other. I literally cried when Jules said "You're our heart baby girl. You're the heart of the family." Tavvy is the cutest bean and needs protecting. That's all that needs to be said. Also if anyone hurts him I'll find you. I loved Diana a lot from the beginning. My attachment to the Blackthorns meant that anyone who was nice to them by association caught my interest and deserved attention. But I liked her character, especially when she essentially told Zara to shut the fuck up ngl. Her coming out story was a cherry on the cake tbh I wasn't expecting it and I cried over her story (also her sister ;-;). I love Diana's design too. She's overall a great Character. I love Helen and Aline so much. Their relationship, dedication, meeting, everything about them alone and in a pair is just so great. Also I'm high-key gay for both of them. But Aline dedication to her wife made me cry I'm-- I'm just in love with them ok? Okay but Tessa Jem Will Tho yass I love them I haven't even finished their series (I've read lord of shadows but I'm only on clockwork angel aka the first one ;-;). I live their dynamic. Tessa's just beautiful and great and smart and badass af. Jem is precious I love him. Will is so great I actually prefer his herondaleness to Jace's. I love their interaction. And their Camille and Magnus interaction were the goodest of good shits™ 👌. Do I really need an explanation for Max and Rafe tbh. Like Tavvy they're both adorable and amazing. Also Max is blue (I love the fact he's blue). If anyone ever hurts or bullies them I'm coming for that person. Simon and Izzy. Well what can i say, Izzy is hot and Simon is chill (mah man). He's honestly such a geek ("tell me a bedtime story" "k *plot of starwars*"). He should meet Kit tbh. I love Izzy in book and the TV show (and not just because Emeraude Toubia is impossibly attractive). I live her character. I love Simon's character. 'Nough said. Max, well, uh we don't talk about that. F U C K Y O U S E B A S T I A N M O R G E N S T E R N ! ! ! I loved Max so much, though, I wish I could have protected him personally. He was so cute and loved reading and felt like no one noticed or listened to him or borderline ignored. (That sounds familiar call out post to my toxic friends and family). He's a 13 year old boy you should be ashamed! Tbh I loved Maia since I first read about her in the books. She was so strong and badass and pretty and great. Also that one time where izzy says if she was attracted to girls she'd tap that ass. Also when she killed that asshole I was like yasssss queen slay!!! Rip Kyle tho I miss him. She pretty great in the TV series too, W E A RE N O T T A L K IN G A B O U T T H E C L O S E T S C E N E I R E P E AT N O T!! Jules, Jules, Jules... he's a fucking amazing brother lets start with that. He's had to essentially, apart from Emma and Diana look after his siblings, the institute and everything else singlehandedly. He's always there for them. He's also an artist ! That's great I love artist characters idk. Can we also talk about his way with words dang dang diggity dang dang dang he can talk anyone into seeing to his POV or believing his words. He a great boi. He just needs (some milk, sorry it's 2 am) a permanent vacation with Emma in an AU where parabatai bonds won't make you crazy if you be fucking yo parabatai. So he can fuck Emma, essentially is what I'm, ever so subtly, getting at it. Christina Rosales is beautiful and deserves the world and to stab Zara Fucking Dearborn through the heart. Ok I love her but I love Kieran more so she better not hurt my boi Kier. Also I'm down for some KierArkTina anytime as long as they spend some (a great amount) time to sort out their issues and love each other properly. Mark is great tbh (but again I love Kieran more so don't hurt him mah boi). Like I love his personality and character and appearance and speech patterns they're like the perfect blend between nephilim and faerie and I love that. I love him, that coat scene tho and the kitchen scene and the many scenes where he talks to inanimate objects. Also the make out scenes got diggity damn kierark. Also talking about kierark ppl be like Kieran was so bad to mark yeah but mark was bad to Kieran too. I'm not excusing mah boi here or mark but yeah they both not angels (hahaha). Tbh I loved Raphael so much (also saphael). He was so great I loved this lil asshole so much I cried when he died so much. S E BA S T I A N F U C K IN G M O R G E R N S T E RN !! ! Also ! Ace! representation ! Is ! Important ! I'm! Happy! But yeah Rip this babe. I loved Ty and Livvy ever since I first read them in the books, I was super excited for an autistic character and related to Livvy as my little brother is also autistic. (Livvy deserved better tbh). They're just so great and cute, I love them. We don't deserve them tbh. I love ty, I'm sorry, Sherlock so much and his twin sister (Euros lol don't shoot me) is an inspiration. Livvy is so protective and I love her. Ty is just so protective and I love him. I love them both so much. Kieran, mah boi, my sass ball, my salty bitch, my faerie boi, my king's son, my slayer, my great handsome beautiful amazing boi. Okay I don't even know why I love him so much I just do. He's misunderstood and before yall bitch at me like oh that poor special snowflake he Hurting he misunderstood poor bean do he need a tiny violin to play sad music for him where's thE P R O O F OF T H I S BI T C H ! !! Yall can read up on this subject on other post about it I've reblogged. O K A Y he did some bad things he regrets and wished he could rewind and stop. Um. So has almost every other fricking character in this book series apart from really young kids don't just blame my baby gods guys. Magnus is just the best, if you hate him you're wrong doesn't matter who you are or what ever. You're wrong. He's a great great bf, fiancée, future husband, father, future uncle, babysitter, cat sitter, lover, friend, Warlock, person and soul. I love him I'd give up all my soul and body for him. I worship him, I love his design, speech patterns, personality, methods, over all character and just everything. If I wasn't attracted to female only I'd high-key be crushing on Magnus Bane. Bi the way (see what I did there) he great don't ever hurt. Also he slays. And Harry Shum Jr. does a great job portraying him in the series, he great. Drop everything because you've come to the last of the superior squad (Ty, Livvy, Kieran, Magnus and Alec) Buckle the fuck up guys it's time to go for a spin in the Mystery mobile (or w/e the fuck it's called). Ah Alec, my biggest fave rivalled only by Ty my other biggest fave, he's so handsome brave and amazing. Malec is like supreme OTP (with Kitty and Kierark of course) I live for their dynamic both in the book and on the screen in the TV show. I love Alec as he's incredibly relatable, beautiful, great with kids, a great leader, a great bf/financée/lover/husband, a great person. I love him. If i could if adopt him as my son. I'm screaming he's just so good. Also he hecka attractive for a guy if i was a guy 10/10 would bed and we'd this handsome boi. Also the way he roasted Zara Dearborn, she was more like deadborn back then. (Also when Kieran joined in I cried tears of joy). When are we gonna talk about his alleged bondage kink btw? Hmu with fic and Fanart with this if you have it. In conclusion I love them all very much! Special mentions to: Gwyn, Arthur, Malcolm (idk why), Annabel (kinda i guess), Jaime (Un petit peu), Nene, Nerissa and Aodaon (?) (he cute).