#all of those songs (or however many) live then but still...I find liking live versions of songs better than the studio versions annoying

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

The only problem with these 1990/1991 Big Country concerts that I'm watching is that their drummer in 1990-mid 1991 literally cannot play a military-esque drum roll if it killed him, which is a ginormous problem for Big Country considering at least two of their biggest fucking hits features that prominently so then "In a Big Country" as a primary example doesn't sound nearly as good and anthemic as it normally does. SURELY IT MAKES SENSE WHY THAT'S A PROBLEM. Because if they don't play those songs, the audience will eat the band, but then the song doesn't sound as good and, what, the band just has to pray that the audience doesn't notice?! Okay. Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Although on one hand I could see that as, like, oh man, Mark really fucked them for any other drummers...he accidentally (or maybe not; I don't know his personal agenda) made sure that pretty much no other drummers would fit for the band (also considering his maximalist approach to drumming, LOL)...but on the other hand I like that classic drum roll about so many Big Country songs, so am I allowed to complain when another drummer can't imitate Mark Brzezicki perfectly?

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Masterpost: Visual Kei movies & other types jrockers were involved

So, it came to my attention some of you want to watch more visual kei movies so I thought of listing what I know, in case you've missed any of those. Please feel free to add anything I've missed with reblogs or in the comments.

Thank you @kirk-goes-to-gallifrey for the three movie links! ^^ And thank you @waretamado for helping with the titles of Plastic Tree's movies! Btw most of the vkei only movies must still be available on YT guys, however not all of them will be on HD.

Visual Kei movies:

Seth et Holth (1993) (Hide) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx_laJCEpew)

Moon Child (2003) (Gackt & Hyde)

Verte Aile/Bel Air (1997) (Malice Mizer) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdd58pTaK8A)

Bara no Konrei/Bridal of the Rose (2001) (Malice Mizer) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr1d_cFRnxs)

BeatRock☆Love (2009) (Takeru ex.SuG)

Number Six (2006) (Alice Nine)

Yuku Pura Kuru Pura... Edokawa Puranpo no 「Ougon otoko」~「Visual bako no bijo」 (Plastic Tree) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Bb-3L4l2E)

Yuku Pura Kuru Pura... Edokawa Puranpo no 「Onan tokage」~「Bishounen wo kuu bijo」 (Plastic Tree) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAha6vDCE0Q)

Yuku Pura Kuru Pura...Edokawa Puranpo no「Angura Kaijin」~「Remon no bijo」 (Plastic Tree) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pzt3ai5LSXc)

Ascendead Master (2009) (Versailles)

Onegai Kanaete (2011) (Versailles)

Oresama (2004) (Miyavi) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcBvKQfVKNM)

Soundtrack (2002) (Sugizo) (I don't know if it's a vkei movie but since the theme appears to be music-oriented, I put it here)

Non Visual Kei movies jrockers acted in:

Kagen no Tsuki (2004) (this is a live action of a manga) (Hyde)

There is a movie that Takeru of SuG had played in for only a couple of scenes that was his first ever role, but I forget the name. I remember sth about "blue generation" or sth. If sb remembers it, please put it in the comments. Most people might remember the scene with the fluffy coat, him with blond hair turning to the protagonist with a menacing look, from the distance.

Paracelcus' Homonculus (2015) (this is an artsy film based off a photographer's exhibition) (Takeru of SuG)

Midori: the Camellia girl (2016) (live action of a manga) (Takeru of SuG)

Bunraku (2010) (Gackt)

Akumu-chan (2014) (Gackt)

Karanukan (2018) (Gackt)

Tonde Saitama 1 (2019) & 2 (2023) (Gackt)

Moshimo Tokugawa Ieyasu ga Sori Daijin ni Nattara (2024) (Gackt)

Furin Kazan (2007) (Gackt)

Mr. Brain (2009) (it must have been 1 episode or 2) (Gackt)

Tempest (2011) (Gackt)

Sengoku Basara (2012) (Gackt)

Time Spiral (2014) (Gackt)

BLEACH (2018) (live action) (Miyavi)

Hell Dogs (2022) (Miyavi)

Familia (2023) (Miyavi)

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (Miyavi)

Kate (2021) (Miyavi)

Stray (2019) (Miyavi)

Unbroken (2014) (Miyavi)

There's a movie with either gangs or bands that Chiyu of SuG played after the disband. Papiko, shed your light cause I don't remember the title.

30-thirty (2000) Hakuei

The Legend of the The Stardust Brothers (1985) (Issay)

Other

REPO! The Genetic Opera (2008) (Yoshiki was involved with the music production of this film. Personally I learnt it years after I'd watched it)

Death Trance (2005) (It features many Dir en Grey songs in its soundtracks)

Hamlet (1998) (A rock opera version of the famous play, by Penicillin) YT link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hljXGPsUU1Q)

I hope you can find anything you like and enjoy!

[stormblessed95]

Hi!

Ok, so I just rewrote everything I wanted to discuss regarding the new video of Jimin working on MUSE, WHO, and SGMB as I felt it’d be easier than sending multiple asks with my questions!

I wanted to know what your thoughts were about the video and album overall, as well as with these parts where Jimin goes into detail a little more about two of the songs’ concepts.

I’m confused if the album as a whole is conceptual, or just the tracks Jimin wrote and WHO is the truth. Is this album about finding love or Jimin’s inspiration and creative process?

And what does that mean in terms for Jimn and Jikook?

I know people (antis) are going on about pronouns, but honestly I already think Jimin is queer or bisexual, so writing a love song about a woman or with female pronouns doesn’t negate that (especially since we’ve seen a version where the lyrics were gender neutral). Until Jimin outright says he has never and will never have romantic feelings towards a man, I’m under the assumption that he may be bisexual (regardless of if he wants a male or female partner).

However Jimin talking about looking for love and not experiencing that, does make me question Jikook if this album is supposed to be speaking from Jimin’s personal experiences and/or thoughts.

I included the parts of dialogue (sorry if I missed something 😅) that lead to these thoughts and/or questions, and it would be wonderful if you could help explain it more, or at least your thoughts on it. I know you’re not Jimin nor did you work with him on MUSE, so obviously you don’t know exactly what it means or conveys.

I’m not taking your word as the truth either, this isn’t the cult lol, just that there’s been many times where your posts help me with the understanding of topics: BTS, Jimin, JK, Jikook, ect!

And of course whatever Jimin says matters more to me!

Thanks Storm! 💜

While working on WHO

JM: This album has a lot of cheerful songs. But I wanted to try a different approach for just the title track. There will be a lot of fun songs.

JM: It was harder to write the lyrics this time. I had to pretend to go through experiences I haven’t had before. I’ll explain it one by one in more detail later.

JB (Jon): *interpreting Jimin’s ideas* I’d like to fall in love. I wanna, I’ll do what it takes to fall in love. I still don’t feel it, so what is my heart waiting for?

JM (Through the Translator): It’s just a bit sentimental, so it doesn’t get too intense like, “Where is she?” It doesn’t get too depressing.

JM: It’s not supposed to be sad or anything.

Translator: He’s not like, not too deep into it. He’s like “this is what I’m feeling right now”.

JM: It’s kind of embarrassing to explain emotions. It feels like someone found my diary.

Translator: Thank you for explaining everything so honestly.

JM: My ears are red. *touches ears*

JM: I’ve poured all my emotions into this, so I was very embarrassed just now. Even though they just wanted to ask about the story I wanted to tell. It’s just, everyone…. *laughs*

JM: Everyone’s just living alone, right? That’s what it is.

Working on SGMB

Producer: If the album is going to be all about expressing the process, we could just go all out conceptual.

Producer: I thought we could do a story with a specific concept, and I thought it’d be great if we chose a name for a band.

Producer: For those who aren’t able to express their love themselves, we’ll express it for them. That’s the kind of band we are. That’s the kind of concept we’ll have.

Loco: I’d never heard of a “smeraldo” before, so I looked it up. It’s a flower, I saw its meaning in the language of flowers. One of the related search terms was BTS. So there was some kind of a connection. So I thought, “Wow, I should come today to hear the explanation”. I found it really interesting, that’s why.

Loco: How do we express the true feelings of someone who couldn’t express it themselves?

Producer: Yeah that’s it.

Loco: This is how we should try to think about it.

JM: I thought of you while making this song….

Loco: It’s so good.

JM: Thank you.

Anon wrote an essay, but I want everyone to know and appreciate how well worded and kind this was. This is a request. An ask. This is a "I have these thoughts, opinions and concerns. I'm really curious about how you also feel about this, could you please let me know. Thanks" and not the rude demands, belligerent asks and the homophobia I got about this same topic from SO MANY OTHERS. So just before anything else, thank you anon, for being a kind human being in interacting with me. I hope you enjoy the random gifs throughout this post 💜

Let's take it bit by bit?

I wanted to know what your thoughts were about the video and album overall, as well as with these parts where Jimin goes into detail a little more about two of the songs’ concepts.

When I made my posts about Muse as an album in its entirety, it was technically before this video, but nothing said in that behinds video changed any of my thoughts. MMM gave us enough of an insight already that nothing else really surprised me from what he said, if that makes sense. Other than seeing the original lyrics were gender neutral. While not a surprise per say, that definitely wasn't indicated anywhere before. Idk if you saw my thoughts, opinions and theories over Muse already, but if not, please read that post here:

My thoughts over Who, which I posted just before answering this:

And then the other main posts I have where I talked about Muse, Rebirth and SMGB can be found in the last 9 posts linked here:

I’m confused if the album as a whole is conceptual, or just the tracks Jimin wrote and WHO is the truth. Is this album about finding love or Jimin’s inspiration and creative process?

Personally I believe that the album as a whole is conceptual. Jimin pretty much stated that it was in MMM. Conceptual doesn't mean falsehoods though either. I mention this in further detail in my muse post above as well. So really, please do go read that. I think that this is more about Jimin's inspiration and creative process. And it's about love. ❤️🥰 These things can coexist!

Pdogg even just recently said: "His previous album was designed to be deeply personal, but the new one is more abstract and isn’t strictly about Jimin alone. The whole thing’s also in line with what Millennials and Gen Z experience when they fall in love."

And what does that mean in terms for Jimn and Jikook?

Short answer: Nothing.

Longer answer: Still nothing. I know it's not really the answer you or probably anyone else or any of the antis who sent me asks about this topic, wanted. But it's the one I've got for you. As much as I thoroughly love and enjoy finding the Jikook coincidences and connections in everything. Istg I promise I do. I can be just as delulu as the rest of them. But it's really important that we ALL remember to see, recognize and enjoy their artistic integrity and messages without thinking it automatically has to do with each other or their relationship (whatever it may be, and yes this is still valid even if they are for sure dating each other romantically too).

Jimin talking about making an album that expresses the desire for love, feelings of crushes, wanting to be with the one, etc... doesn't actually mean that's the state of his current life. It doesn't even technically mean that's what he wants if he is single. I AM NOT SAYING THESE THINGS ARE TRUE OR EVEN WHAT I THINK. Just options, because we don't actually know anything about Jimin's life other than what he chooses to share. Personally, nothing he said in that behinds video, the MMM video or any other behinds content for Muse has made me rethink my Jikook opinions. But thats just me, and I don't blame anyone for ever changing their mind about anything. I just think years upon years of sharing things with us and behavior doesn't change based off him explaining the emotions and concept he is going for while working with other artists on his album.

I know people (antis) are going on about pronouns, but honestly I already think Jimin is queer or bisexual, so writing a love song about a woman or with female pronouns doesn’t negate that (especially since we’ve seen a version where the lyrics were gender neutral). Until Jimin outright says he has never and will never have romantic feelings towards a man, I’m under the assumption that he may be bisexual (regardless of if he wants a male or female partner).

I too, am under this impression and fully agree with you here. It's always nice when I agree with pieces of anon essays 🥰😄💜

However Jimin talking about looking for love and not experiencing that, does make me question Jikook if this album is supposed to be speaking from Jimin’s personal experiences and/or thoughts.

I included the parts of dialogue (sorry if I missed something 😅) that lead to these thoughts and/or questions, and it would be wonderful if you could help explain it more, or at least your thoughts on it. I know you’re not Jimin nor did you work with him on MUSE, so obviously you don’t know exactly what it means or conveys.

I’m not taking your word as the truth either, this isn’t the cult lol, just that there’s been many times where your posts help me with the understanding of topics: BTS, Jimin, JK, Jikook, ect!

Have you been following me for a while because that used to be something I said a lot on this blog. I appreciate you requesting a secondary opinion from someone whose opinions you generally trust (and I'm honored and touched that I am that person, thank you) while still making sure to form your own thoughts and opinions on things as well. Even if they end up different. That's really so important. 💜💜

Now I see where you (general you for the 80 asks I got about this topic) might be like but storm what about *insert all your above quotes here* I'm getting there! Also sorry, I'm not copy and posting all those quotes, this post is long enough as it is, but I super appreciate you taking the time to type them all out for me. I will preemptively add this one from the most recently weverse article though before someone else sends it to me in an ask lol:

"Then it goes into “Be Mine,” which takes the concept one step further, and is about an imaginary relationship. Our plan was to follow that song with the lead single and write it as a serenade, but Jimin was having trouble relating to it. He asked himself if he can ever really love someone, and that question led to the creation of “Who.” The album is about looking for some imaginary woman, but “Who” is about the reality of feeling lonely and melancholy, and asking yourself where the person for you is, which is why we made it the very last track."

From:

So let's just sort of break this down in general and all the quotes together if you don't mind.

1. Irregardless of a relationship with Jungkook, true or not. Jimin is an idol, he isn't going to be announcing a relationship until he is married. And maybe not even then if he keeps it under wraps until he is retired. And if he ever has to announce a relationship, it's never going to be through a love song and explaining he drew inspiration from a partner. It's always going to be "love, what's that?" "Oh we are all always single for now." "Haha oh armys are my girlfriend." And if he ever gets forced into admitting to and claiming a relationship, its going to come with an apology and an ask for understanding. Which really fucking sucks, but that's a different conversation entirely. And it's the reality that idols live with. Take it up with the industry and the fans.

2. If Jimin is queer, like you and I both suspect that he is, he is closeted. And will remain so probably until he is at least retired and/or maybe after that too. Hinting at, making vague remarks about it, etc, is not and never will be coming out. So all those points from #1 above, double it and count it worse for this one. If he is queer, Jimin will be sticking to that "what is love, I'm perpetually single" line all that much harder as a matter of safety probably. I mean and who knows, I'm not Jimin.

3. Jimin is working off a concept, a storyline and a following a major theme and plot that over arches through all his songs in order. He knows the emotions he wants to convey, he knows the general idea. Talking about that is and can be embarrassing. Like someone reading your diary. Lol

4. Taking it back to point 1 again, if Jimin is in a relationship, with regards to being an idol and am ultra world famous one at that, AND adding in the potential possibility of that being a queer relationship.... In what world do you think that the (hypothetical or otherwise) relationship would be one that went through any kind of normal courtship, confession, romance meet cute story? Lol for all we know, his experience with love and relationships look different than the story he was trying to tell, which was much more storybook idealistic. Or for all we know, he is single and just has hook ups and has never been in love. We don't know for sure, and that's okay. We aren't entitled to Jimin's private life.

5. In specific regards to "we are all living alone right" that one feels like explaining his album concept, not his life. To me at least. As was Loco talking about how to explain the feelings of someone who couldn't express it themselves, that was the literal concept of the song for SMGB.

And to conclude all my points above, in my personal OPINIONS, Jimin isn't going to share his love life in any type of way with his fans. He was preemptively apologizing for touching a female dancer to his fans. He knows his fans won't allow him the luxury of love. He knows he isn't allowed the luxury of queerness either, not from his country nor his fans for the most part either. The homophobia I get in my ask box is proof enough. I personally think everything Jimin and JK have said through the years and their actions throughout the years have shown me that there is probably something more leaning towards romantic attraction there, and I feel like it's very probably that they acted upon that. In a conventional way or not, who knows. Only jikook. But I don't think anything from these conversations has proven anything otherwise. But of course, anyone is free to disagree with that and think differently.

Sorry for the essay in response. Hope this all made sense and was clear. And that you found it helpful in some way anon. Thank you again for how you asked your questions and expressed yourself. It was great.

[putschki1969]

📢UPDATE📢"sprinter" LIVE AUDIO

Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll and left a comment in the reply section of my previous post on the matter. I was intrigued when @gslin sent me a link to this audio but I had no idea it would spark so much interest.

I received two very enlightening messages today that provided some substantial evidence. With the added information, I now feel confident that I can clarify the situation. This will hopefully clear up some of the confusion.

The first lovely follower (who would like to remain anonymous) sent me their personal recording of the live in question. They have been a fan for a very long time and got the chance to attend the concert back in 2008. First up, a big apology. I wish I could post the recording but they asked me not to share it so I will respect that. However, I've been given permission to talk about it so here's what I've been able to find out〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Just in case you are wondering, there's no doubt in my mind that my follower's bootleg is legit. You can tell immediately that this was recorded from within the audience. There's clapping all around and the music is considerably louder than the vocals. You can still make out the song pretty well though. None of the voices sound off or out of place. It's blended together pretty well without losing the distinct vocal colours of the individual singers. Which is why I know that this can only be from the YKL Vol.#2 front act performance since you can clearly make out Maya during her "bokura ni dekiru koto wa tada" line and some other parts. From what we know, no other live performances of "sprinter" have featured Maya.

For the past hour or so, I've been listening to different versions of the song on repeat, mostly focusing on the YouTube audio and the newly acquired bootleg. While the bootleg is of admittedly quite low-quality, there are two things that very clearly set it apart from the version on YouTube. Those two obvious differences make it absolutely impossible for the recordings to be from the same live performance. And since we've already established that Maya was not present for any other "sprinter" performances, we can easily conclude that the YouTube audio is fake.

Difference #1: Absence of the infamous guitar riff. @octopusofpaint already mentioned this in the reply section of my original post. The YouTube audio has a pretty blunt opening whereas the bootleg recording starts with the guitar riff we are all so familiar with. It's hard to know how audios are cut/edited so I'd be willing to let this slide if it weren't for the next difference.

Difference #2: In the authentic bootleg recording of YKL Vol.#2, one of the final lines, "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa", is sung by no other than (!!)Keiko(!!). That is very surprising since it is usually not one of her lines. Look up any random official live performance of "sprinter", starting as early as 2009 on the NHK program Pop Up Japan, you'll absolutely never hear Keiko sing that line. You know who has always been in charge of it since becoming a three-person-unit? Wakana!! Now let's listen closely to the YouTube audio again, shall we? Whose voice do we hear? I'm giving you a hint! It's not Keiko's! But it's not Wakana's either!! Surprise, surprise, it's Hikaru's!! And do you know where Hikaru sings this line? Only in the studio version (and most recently during Kalafina covers at YKL but with a notably different voice so I won't take that into account here). And you know what else is very specific to the studio version? The lyrical cold open without a guitar riff. This leads me to believe that the studio version was almost certainly one of the main sources for this awkward mash-up on YouTube.

Now onto the second message I received today. This time from my lovely follower @concretebadger. Thank you so much! Many of you speculated that the 2010 live performance might have served as an inspiration for this supposed "unreleased" audio track. And I think you were not wrong about this. While I do believe that the studio version might have been the "main" source, I do think that the creator needed to add something else to make it sound more like a live performance. This is where the 2010 Red Moon version comes in. @concretebadger actually took the time to mash up the two tracks for a comparison and the result makes it quite clear that the two audios are eerily similar. Check it out for yourself〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

If you use the studio version and Red Moon live version as base layers and then add a few tweaks here and there to distort certain sections in order to make them appear more raw and unedited, you basically end up with that mysterious track that's currently floating around on YouTube. The previously mentioned line "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa" might actually be a good example for the layering/mashup of those two sources. While you can definitely identify Hikaru's vocals during that part in the YouTube audio (indicating the usage of the studio version as base), there seems to be a slightly different texture to her voice that makes it sound almost ethereal. This is most likely due to Wakana's singing of the line being added to the mix. It's very subtle and Hikaru's vocals are certainly more prominent but it's worth mentioning.

Anyway. Mystery solved. At least for me. Maybe you still have some thoughts on it. Feel free to share them below.

[elladorathegreat]

What I thought of TUA season 4

(Just my opinion pls no hate n if ppl wanna talk Abt it I would love to)

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. Victor FINALLY having it out on reggie

That was fucking amazing all those years of pent up exhaustion and aggression towards Reginald has finally come out and it was just beautiful to watch tbh

2. Ben and Jennifer

THIS HAD ME IM NGL I LOVED IT SO MUCH I love how through all the timelines there’s ALWAYS them, I was picking up on it throughout the season and it was just amazing, I loved that, I am a hopeless romantic so I was all there for it even tho it did destroy everything

3. Paralells

there were so many parallel’s throughout it from the previous seasons and just even the parallel of Jennifer knocking on the wall to Ben bro It just had me, I also love how the violin was still a theme throughout it through Abigail and the music during certain scenes, also having I think were alone now as the ending song was absolutely amazing although it was a different version/cover I loved that they used it in the first and last episode

4. PLOT TWISTS

BENS DEATH WAS CRAZY, had me and my best friend GASPING I’ve spent years theorising over how he died and I NEVER ONCE thought of Reginald being the case

ALSO ABIGAIL (reggies wife) ended up being on the opposite side which was insane. The way she also let lose on Reginald in the skin of gene was hilarious

5. Lila and Five

Just gonna say this first, I DIDNT LIKE IT. Even though as disgusting as it looks (due to fives body being younger) Lila and five makes sense as Lila said it was survival and they thought that they weren’t ever going to find a way back however five hiding the journal and way home from Lila just to have a relationship with her when she’s HIS BROTHERS WIFE is CRAZY I hate how they made him the bad guy in the end when it came to Lila and Diego and I did hate how they ruined Diego and Lila’s relationship for that :(

The fact they both genuinely fell in love tho is just crazy and tbh I never knew how to feel whenever it was on the screen however klaus, Allison and Luther were HILARIOUS at the confrontation scene.

6. TUA growing up!

Content of the kids FINALLY

IVE WAITING SO LONG FOR THERE TO BE MORE SCENES OF TUA AS KIDS ANS WE FINALLY GOT IT! I loved seeing them interact with each other and also showing that viktor wasn’t CONPLETELY alone growing up as he and Ben had a friendship, it also shows how klaus and Alison’s friendship has been deep rooted since they were young

7. Allison EATING

Allison was HORRIFIC in season 3 as we all know due to her crisis(?) but this season she was such a boss bitch and I actually lived for it icl the way she put reggie in his place and also helped klaus so much it was beautiful

8. The last episode!

The last episode was very Rick and Morty esq. but I loved it, it was so sad but so good and although it felt a bit rushed and I WISH they had more seasons coming they ended it off so well and with the 8 marigold flowers growing at the END END it was just beautiful and also kinda made me think like what if there is more? (Even tho there’s not :() also having all of the characters at the end such as the triplets from season 2, the commission workers, hazel and Agnes, the handler, grace, it was just all amazing and left me speechless

I actually can’t believe it over tho, they did so well with all of it and I love it so much.

Ofc this is all my opinion and I can’t wait to hear what other ppl think cuz honestly there’s so much to debrief and talk Abt it was also rly funny but honestly I loved it.

[running-with-the-feels]

I read your fic that talks about the cryomancer culture and I was so fascinated with them if you can I need to know more!!

ahhhh I'm so glad you liked it!!

So, my version of Cryomancer culture is still evolving, so stuff might change but basically

They called themselves Ischeti, which translates literally to Snow Singers, and they had their own realm called Iskari which translates to Sleeping Snow, or Snow's Sleep, which was a very hostile place for any who were not cryomancers. Music was deeply important to them and they prayed primarily through song.

Dragons, called Tika were native to the realm and formed close bonds with the Ischeti quite frequently, to the point that many Ischeti were dragon riders, which when coupled with their abilities, made them a formidable military force. To be called Tikavox, meaning Dragon Child, was a great honor bestowed only to those who had proven themselves resilient, formidable, and kind in great measure.

As Iskari had many natural resources that were desired by other realms, such as a metal that could nullify all forms of magic as well as make a cryomancer more powerful when properly forged by a priest, and gemstones that could store memories to be viewed at a later date, as well as plants with potent medicinal properties and so on, Edenia tried to engage in trade with Iskari

However, the metal was sacred as it was known as Dragon's blood, or Tikarezo, and could only be found in places where dragons were buried or had fallen, forming from their veins and hearts, and it was used in religious ceremonies. To give it to an outsider was unthinkable, though the Ischeti were willing to trade the gems. Unfortunately the gems were very rare and so they did not have as many to trade as Edenia wanted.

Eventually, under Queen Sindel's reign, Edenia tried to conquer Iskari without mortal kombat, seeking to occupy the realm rather than absorb it. But no matter how many soldiers Sindel devoted to the task, for every Ischeti they killed, ten more Edenians would die. This went on for a thousand years before the queen tired of it, declaring Mortal Kombat.

I've been working on hammering out a set of rules for Mortal Kombat, since canon does not provide any, and one of those rules is that in order for the tournament to end, either the aggressor or the defender realm must win ten consecutive tournaments, and the Ischeti lasted for 32 tournaments before they fell, despite living only 500 years to the Edenian's 50,000 year life span. By contrast, Edenia lasted 27 tournaments against Outworld.

After that, Sindel outlawed cryomancy and the act of bonding with dragons, as well as the vast majority of the Ischeti's religious ceremonies and rituals, leading to them eventually leaving and moving to Outworld where Shao Khan proved an even crueller ruler. Before long, the Ischeti left for Earthrealm with the few dragons they had left, settling in Northern China in a region that resembled their former realm which they called Arctika, or Home of Dragons. Edenia still has possession of most of the Ischeti's sacred objects and artifacts, many of them made from the gems that hold memories (I haven't thought of a name for them yet) which contained memories of their many ceremonies and important days, such as the Etlara realm, the crowning of monarchs, etc

There, they founded the Lin Kuei, which was not a clan of assassins at the time. Instead, it was a refuge for any who sought it, be they Earthrealmer, Ischeti, Outworlder, etc. The name Lin Kuei was given to them by outsiders, and literally translates to Forest Demons (as far as I can find), with many thinking their powers and strange appearances meant they must be demons.

The Ischeti were formidable warriors and defended their new home as needed, eventually providing aid to others for similar ends when it was requested, which gradually lead to their becoming assassins.

The Ischeti naturally have bright blue or white eyes, with white hair being very common. They also tend to have fangs and dragon like pupils and an extra set of vocal cords which allows them to make similar sounds to the dragons they bond with.

Over the years, these traits began to fade and cryomancy became less common for reasons they do not know for certain, though they suspected it was because they no longer had access to Tikarezo, which was deeply embedded within their religion and day to day life. The only scrap of it they had left was the Dragon Medallion, a symbol of the Royal house which was to be held by the reigning monarch. The medallion was eventually co-opted by the Lin Kuei grandmasters as a symbol of their leadership.

Due to their lack of immunity to Earthrealm illnesses and the weakness that came with a lack of Tikarezo, Cryomancers began dying off alarmingly quickly until only a few bloodlines were left, most of whom had lost the ability entirely. The royal line was the only one to maintain the gift of cryomancy.

Sub-Zero and Tundra are actually bastardizations of the Chet words (Chet is their name for their language, meaning song) for Ruler and Heir respectively. Sub-Zero was originally Sut-Sawel and Tundra was originally Tondira (I will take criticism on that if anyone has criticism to offer), with Sawel being the name of the god most important to the cryomancer pantheon.

The royal house did not rule with absolute power but as part of a council who were primarily made up of those elected by the people as well as the head priests of each god.

That's about what I've got so far, let me know if anyone has any thoughts!

[thelampisaflashlight]

The ghouls, but it's how I currently headcanon their personalities. Below the cut.

Aether: Overall, he's a giant goofball and loves a good night out with friends.

People tend to assign him a very "fatherly" role due to his appearance and his tendency to take care of his friends in little ways, but he certainly doesn't see that as strictly something a father, or any sort of guardian, would do.

Friends can take care of their friends and not be their parent!

That being said, if someone called him the "mom friend" he would wear it as a badge of honor, because that means his friends trust him.

Dewdrop: Comes off as a bit of a grump, though in an endearing sort of way.

Despite putting up a wall in front of others, when he's with his friends, he smiles easily and more often than he realizes. Very expressive when he's not trying to hide his emotions, and is known to be a bit of a crier when he's happy.

He's very used to people judging him based off of his appearance, for better or worse, so instead of dwelling on what others might think, he just does whatever he pleases.

Short hair, long hair, skirts, pants, dresses... The world is his oyster and he's here to tell people to "shuck" it.

Cumulus: Very independent and knows what she wants in life, actually getting it is another matter entirely.

She has a lot of interests and hobbies that she doesn't talk about a lot, because 1.) She's afraid people will judge her for them, and 2.) Sometimes enjoying something alone is the best way to experience it.

Due her her looks, she often finds herself being burdened with the problems of strangers who see her as easy to talk to/approachable, but this has lead to her learning a lot of... unfortunate/uncomfortable things about people she either just met or barely knows at all.

Although she's always happy to provide a listening ear to a person in need, she'd really rather just be able to eat her lunch in peace, thank you very much.

Sunshine: As curious and creative as the day is long.

She's always working on something new, be it music, art, or some other sort of craft, she's always got something in her hands... because, truthfully, she wouldn't know what to do with herself otherwise.

A very active, social creature, who feels the most alive around others, and when she's not? Well, that's why she has all those hobbies to keep her busy!

She has some self worth issues, and, if left alone for too long, will question whether or not she has value when she's not entertaining others.

A classic case of "Please check in on your funny friends." if there ever was one.

Swiss: Like if the weird uncle met another weird uncle and they got together and had a baby.

He's a charismatic sort who could light up a room with his smile alone... if only because they're so shiny. He's strange in cryptid sort of way, and, worse yet, he knows it.

Bold and adventurous, he's the sort that loves to take the lead, not for the fame or the glory, no. It's more so because he lives life by the rules of that one Cyndi Lauper song.

Ghouls just want to have fun, ya know?

However, in spite of this, he's not an extrovert. If anything, he's an introvert that's a bit too good at masking how much he's rather be at home right now. Ehn. C'est la vie.

Rain: Quiet, but not shy, no, and many a person has learned that the hard way.

Very fond of presenting himself as a demure, delicate gentlemanly sort, but he very much knows what he's doing when he's looking at you through his eyelashes and playing coy.

Still, there are times when his softer side is genuine, but that version of himself, the one that snorts when he laughs and gives the biggest, brightest smiles, is reserved for his friends.

He needs a lot of alone time, and it's clear when he hasn't gotten nearly enough.

When he's overwhelmed, he can be a bit abrasive, but he's always very open about when he's having a bad day or needs his space, so there's that at least.

Cirrus: The friend you go to when you've done something you don't want anyone else to know about, that helps you without asking too many questions.

The true ride or die.

A very blunt person who tells it like it is and doesn't sugarcoat things, even if a bit more tact would be appreciated.

She has a very broad sense of humor, and laughs easily at even the simplest of jokes, but, hey, farts are funny, okay?

Tends to be a bit bad at physically comforting others, and isn't sure how to initiate hugs.

Mountain: A lot of people see him as the calm, tranquil one, but he's also incredibly stubborn and uses beating the shit out of his drums as a healthy means of dealing with years of pent up frustrations and anger.

That's not to say he's always angry, but he does have a temper, and while he manages it well, he has been known to snap when pushed too far.

Very particular about who can be around him when he's having "quiet time" as some people have very different ideas of what that means.

Secretly thrives in chaos, and, because of this, is the perfect person to ask for help when shit has hit the fan.

Needs a nap, like, yesterday.

Aeon: Bright eyed and bushy tailed, and oh so ready to tear some shit up! But, also, like, only if that's okay? Please tell him it's okay.

No, really, he needs to be explicitly told he's allowed to do it.

He's confident in his skills as a musician, and he's not too worried about how he fits into the band, but socially? To be honest, he's not sure if he's doing anything right.

Has a bit of, "HEY, MOM! MOM! LOOK WHAT I'M DOING!" energy, but that's to be expected.

Not really a personality trait, but he can't say the word "macaroni" right.

Aurora: Like if the playlist you made when you were fourteen came back to haunt you as an adult, but in a good way?

She's so full of confidence and wonder, it's hard to believe that she can be so happy with everything going on in the world.

"Never a bad day." she'll say, even if the rain ruined her picnic, or someone's been mean to her.

Never a bad day.

Someone should really tell her it's okay to admit when something is wrong before squashing it all down causes her to break.

[seoul-bros]

The Future of Jikook

After watching the video and GMA soundcheck performance on Friday and then seeing all the contradictory reactions on line to the song and its reception, I have been quietly mulling things over here in my little corner of the internet.

There are so many fan feelings conflating here. Those who want JK to turn into the BTS Harry Styles, those who are still smarting over the way changes to BB affected the trajectory of FACE, those who feel that the breakout of one member is a threat to ever seeing BTS as a band again. It makes for a tense, emotional and chaotic time on-line especially on Twitter where people tend to have a knee jerk reaction to anything that is said and nuance is completely lost.

Look into yourself and I am sure you will find a whole load of contradictory emotions lapping at your consciousness right now. What I have found myself thinking however, is how does all this noise affect the members and in particular Jimin and Jungkook?

Making Choices

One question that came to mind was why did Jungkook pick this song for his solo debut. What is it that he likes about it and how does that differ from the way SB sees or is marketing the song. During Festa 2023 I commented on the transformation that JK has been through since last year. He has made a conscious effort to shake off the maknae part of the golden maknae starting with his deal with Calvin Klein and all the swooning I am seeing on Tumblr shows that he has succeeded. As Yoongi said, JK is all grown up.

Then I was thinking about JK's musical choices, who and what he listens to and I remembered earlier this year he sang the Sam Smith and Kim Petras hit Unholy on one of his lives. If you also recall he later scolded Jimin for being prudish about the song on his own live.

Twitter Link

JK was obviously ready to move into more explicit territory even then. So what about Seven made him think this is the song that launches me as the new and more mature JK.

I think for one thing, the lyrics are sensual and not gender specific. I am in the "loving you right" lyric camp because it gives a more mutual gratification feel to the song in keeping with the other lyrics as opposed to the macho stud, I'm a sex machine, version.

Jungkook wants to ease his lover's mind, he want to trace their lines, he loves how they wrap around him when they make love, he is devoted, his love runs deep and when they are together he wants to make sure his lover is satisfied and feeling that afterglow.

So yes JK is going to be talking about sex from now on along with almost everyone else in the Western music industry. Along with Jimin for example. As a side note, I still don't quite understand my overwhelmingly visceral reaction to the Like Crazy MV. It's f**king art and so is he.

Now SB and his cronies know the audience they are playing to and we will get symbolically het videos both for this and what is rumoured to be his completely English speaking solo album but even this video, which to be honest I have dumped in favour of the live performance and the choreo video, went for humour rather than full out fangirl wish fulfillment. I mean that may also come but I get the feeling that somewhere down the line they are going to need to pivot hard.

What do jikook want?

Secondly, I was thinking what do jikook want both severally and individually. All the members have an enviable work ethic and a deep love of music but the emphasis that these two and JHope put on performance is legendary. Look at Jimin here monitoring between shoots for his music shows in the behind the scenes video this week. He is serious about giving his best even when he himself is not in the best physical condition.

They are both ambitious and are looking for longevity in the industry and importantly, and prefacing this with an, in my opinion, this is something they want to do together. Neither wants the other to get left behind and I think that is what they are fighting for right now.

Whatever you think about their bond, it cannot be dismissed and the sequence of events of the last few weeks for me just reinforces that. Everyone noticed the way their relationship was highlighted in the Beyond the Story book (just started my copy yesterday but I couldn't resist the spoilers last week) to the extent that Variety went on a fishing expedition which JK expertly deflected.

Jimin is in New York right now and Jikook were seen dining together the night he arrived. We don't know what Jimin's schedule is but we can assume that he will take advantage of the visit to also support Jungkook as he has done with the other members when his schedule allowed. Jungkook is important to Jimin and vice versa.

Has everyone already forgotten the amount of promo that JK has done for Jimin over the last few months. Here he is listening to JKIVE's Golden Hour who we later found out was collaborating with Jimin on Angel Parts I and II.

So this is the perspective that I am going to adopt from here on in when I react to content. I am going to ask myself does my reaction help or hinder jikook in being able to continue working together towards their aim of further success in the music industry. I will veto anything designed to drive a wedge between them, be that from the company or the fans and I will continue to work hard for them in the way that a fan can buying, streaming and supporting their music and their content. There is even word on the grapevine that there maybe some jikook collaboration and/or content on the way. I'll be watching out for that.

Wow quick update something is definitely coming.

Post Date: 16/07/2023

[infinity-or-oblivion]

so my loa batkids au has gained a little traction and i’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to writing new stuff so here’s an infodump to hopefully kill my writers block xoxoxo

first of all, jason. my forever number one blorbo. there’s a bit of a role reversal here because compared to all the rest of them, jason arguably had it the easiest. like we’re not going to compare traumas but an argument could be made. i honestly don’t remember if i mentioned it at all in the actual series yet, but the story i have for jason is that his childhood with willis and catherine was about the same as canon/commonly accepted fanon, meaning he was homeless around nine years old. however, instead of living on the streets for years, it was only a few months tops before meeting bruce.

and bruce! this is very fun to me, but basically i was thinking that if he didn’t raise dick, then why couldn’t this version of bruce be younger? so bruce becomes batman in his early twenties, which is also around the time that he visits the league of assassins for training and damian is conceived. (for a little more about that, here) and bruce is roughly 25 when he finds a tiny 9-10 year old jason trying to steal his tires. just imagine that it’s so fucking adorable and heartbreaking ANYWAYS bruce, despite being overall a disaster, doesn’t let a malnourished 10 year old out to fight crime right away, so there’s a couple years between when jason first meets bruce and when he becomes a child soldier yayyyy!!!! but legit, it makes a lot of difference to jason, because you know how canon!jason has some self-esteem issues (for lack of a better term) around bruce not really loving him/seeing him as a son because bruce started training him as robin (and as dick’s replacement) immediately after adopting him- you know that whole thing? yeah well here, despite jason actually offering to help bruce as a vigilante, this bruce is like hell nah you’re literally ten years old and the size of a six year old no way, and those few years in between really stick in jason’s mind as solid proof that bruce really does love him, not for what use he can provide, but simply as a son. also being the only child definitely helps with that

(that little detail of jason and bruce’s relationship is slightly inspired by minimum height requirement, which is absolute batfam gold btw)

okay so. slight pet peeve of mine is in aus where dick isn’t the first robin, the legacy is still called robin for whatever reason (lookin at you reverse robins aus) because!!!!! how dare you erase mary and john grayson’s importance!!!!! (look there’s more nuance to it than that i know but. to put it simply it feels like flying graysons erasure to me) so in this au, jason can’t possibly be called robin. the real robin has been missing for roughly seven years at this point

and listen. i tried to be creative and come up with something cool and original for jason’s vigilante name i really did, but apparently i used all of my naming talent on nighthawk (fucking love that name for dick it’s so fantastic) so we just have bluejay. womp womp

also! on my list of things to expand on: main timeline stephanie!!! i’ve had an absolute blast making myself cry while writing every heart sings a song, incomplete and those who wish to sing always find a song, but spoiler steph will always be my babygirl. and duke!!!! i have not written barely anything for duke in this universe but believe me i have some Thoughts. perhaps even Ideas. basically a lot of steph&duke and steph&babs and steph&duke&babs because i love my little underrated trio

also just more babs in general, because like. i’ve had so many tiny little snippets of cass and babs and their sweet little relationship just sitting in my notes for literal years now that i really just need to organize and expand into their own fic. and yet. i have not done that. but rest assured cass&babs are very very important to me

such is the curse of female fanfic writers: always destined to fixate more on the male poor little meow meows than the female bad bitches. seriously what the fuck is up with that guys i don’t get it why does this happen

[biggerbetterbat]

WITH YOU [37] BACK

Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed

Summary: The group is changed. The prison is changed. However, the world is still the same.

Warnings: language, death

Song:

Words: 3,271

Everything had changed in the past six months.

The prison became a different version of the farm they lost in the past. They had their own vegetables and animals, thanks to people from the Woodbury the place became like a happy land. Everyone had their own tasks and chores, and everyone worked in a perfect harmony. Their group wasn't afraid of others anymore, which brought a breath of fresh air to their lives.

People also changed.

Rick came back to his senses. He was the one Rick she met in the quarry and she would dare to say that he was even better. He started smiling more, cracking jokes here and there, which confused Charlie at first. She always saw him as a leader, strong personality, but under this tough act was hiding a goofy. He seemed to enjoy his new role so she started calling him Farmer Rick.

Carl also became calmer. In the Woodbury were people around his age, so he wasn't stuck with adults all the time, which clearly did good to him. He found a new passion and it was reading comics - he was doing it all the time no matter what time it was. Michonne was finding them every time she was gone, so he could later tell Charlie everything. He finally got to experience the childhood again with no running, deaths, and guns - as the council (Hershel, Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Daryl, Carol, and Charlie) decided that it would be the best for everyone to keep guns around just in case, but use it outside of the fences.

Charlie felt finally at peace. Demons of the past seemed to go away and leave her be. She was trying to create a new life, under new circumstances.

"Hi, Charlie," she turned around as she heard the male voice.

Daryl....

If anything could change more it was Daryl Dixon. He has become a member of the Prison Council, being responsible for the prison administration as he was one of the key members of the group. He was becoming less aggressive and deeply liking the attention he was receiving from the newcomers. As to the relations with Charlie he was very careful and after those six months he still wasn't sure if he could treat her like before. The closest they got to each other was back in the Woodbury when he was trying to comfort her. Being so distant and sharing just business conversations before going on the runs - which didn't happen often, was the only factor stopping them from truly enjoying the peace of the prison.

"Hi," she gave him a tight smile, like many she gave him recently.

"We brought you some food, sweet thing," Carol smiled and gave her a bowl.

"Thanks," she smiled but placed it away, feeling too troubled to eat.

"How's it going?" Daryl asked.

"Not good," she shook her head. "We had a pretty big buildup overnight. Dozens more towards tower three," she reported. "It's getting as bad as last month. Or even worse...They don't spread out anymore."

"With more of us here, we're drawing more of them out," Daryl commented. "You get enough of those damn fence-clingers, they start to herd up."

"So we get ahead of it, not for long," Carol sighed and then she looked at Daryl. "Sorry, Pookie."

He scoffed and pushed Carol lightly before walking away. Charlie followed him until he disappeared completely and turned to the woman who was smiling like a cheshire cat. "Can you really take over my chores?" she asked.

"Yeah. I got Patrick to change me in the kitchen," she smiled. "Don't worry and go."

He was so close to her yet so far away - that's how she felt during all of their supplies runs. They weren't too frequent. Reed wasn't a part of the Supply Group, she felt comfortable as the protector of the prison - mostly sitting on the watch tower or killing the build ups of Walkers. This time, however, the supply run was supposed to be big one. Big Spot was a store located not so far away from the prison. There were rumors that it was used by the military as a base. The group took boombox and used the music to lure the Walkers out, preparing the store for a later sweep. Charlie was in, the moment she heard about it and she moved everything aside to be a part of this.

"It's like a damn romance novel," Daryl commented as they passed Beth and her boyfriend, exchanging what seemed like a goodbye.

"I think it's sweet," Charlie said as she passed him with a basket. He just hummed not convinced in an answer.

"Let me earn my keep," said Bob once Charlie placed her things in the car. She looked from behind the car so she could hear the conversation better, before approaching them.

"You were out on your own when Daryl found you," Sasha answered. "I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team."

"We ain't gonna do it unless it's easy," Daryl said passing Charlie.

"He was a medic in the Army," added Glenn. Charlie turned her head in his direction and looked at the man. His name was Bob and he was found not that long time ago by Glenn and Daryl - with the second not being so sure about him.

"Let's give him a chance," she interrupted.

"Are you sure?" Sasha furrowed her eyebrows. "There's no room for mistakes."

"I know," Charlie nodded. "Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, right?"

"You a hell of a tough sell. You know that?" Bob smiled at Sasha and gave Charlie a small wink.

"Okay," Sasha gave up after a short while and entered a car. "But if something goes wrong..."

Charlie patted Bob in the arm and walked to her car. Once she was at the driver door she reached for the handle at the same time Glenn did. She looked at him and he shook his head. "No."

"Yes."

"I'm not going if you're driving."

"Then stay, I don't care," she answered and pulled the doors, but at the same time Glenn pushed it close. Charlie sighed, closing her eyes. "Dude, just go over there."

"Dude, you almost killed me once," he said remembering the time she was driving him to the farm.

"Don't be so dramatic! You're the man and it was just a dirt road!" she argued. "Now we will go on an asphalt!"

"With Walkers wandering on the sidelines!" he yelled. "Zac! Do you want to die today?" Glenn asked the boy that was standing offside.

"Not really," he smiled.

"And you will if we let Glenn drive," Charlie said.

"Charlie..."

"Glenn..."

"Charlie..."

She gasped and looked past him with wide eyes. The young man looked in that direction and that's when Charlie used the chance and sat inside of the car. "Every damn time."

He sighed and pointed at Zac. "Better buckle up, man. She found a license on the street."

Charlie honked at him, sticking her head out of the window. "I heard that!"

The car stopped as the bike Daryl was riding on stopped. Dixon was reporting Rick on what's the plan and where they were going. She saw Michonne with disappointed face, shaking her head as a sign her mission once again ended with no results. The official story she was telling when someone was asking where she was going was the scouting mission. However, everyone knew it was a lie. She was searching state, towns, woods to find the man who got away and was still threatening the group."Charlie!" Michonne called her name and raised a hand.

"You're back!" Charlie smiled, sticking her head out of the window.

"I am and you're gone," she smiled at her.

"Hey!" Carl called as he saw her in the car with Glenn and approached the car quickly. "You going?"

"Is that a problem, dad?" she smiled.

"You didn't say anything."

"Chill," she answered. "Do your chores. Go read your comics or a book. Patrick will be bored, too. Or go to the story time."

"That's for kids, Charlie," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh? Forgot that you're the man," she smiled. "We have to go now. See you later, little man."

Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?

f you can, baby boy, then we can go all night

'Cause I'm zero to sixty in 3.5

Baby, you got the keys

Now shut up and drive, drive, drive

Shut up and drive, drive,-

"You're going to bring all the Walkers back there," Glenn said and turned the radio off.

"The mood killer's in the house," Charlie rolled her eyes. Her body was still moving to the music she had in her head as the tune was really catchy. "Shame she's eaten. Maybe she's walking as a Walker now," she looked at Glenn who smirked.

"Good girl gone dead," he joked and Charlie gasped in shock that he secretly loved the singer.

When she finally pulled over and stopped the car the reality hit her and seeing the vehicles with "USMC" - United States Marine Corps, sign on them, triggered her. She stepped her foot behind the cut fence and looked around on the tents and cars. There were still American flags here and there and the whole base looked untouched. Some corpses were left on the ground, due to the sun they would soon melt with the pavement.

Did her brothers suffered like that? That became the only question she had while walking through the base.

"Okay, I think I got it," said Zach, which brought Charlie's attention. She thought that he found something useful or rare.

"Got what?" Michonne furrowed her eyebrows when she saw he was just sitting down, probably expecting the same thing as Charlie.

"I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn," he answered.

Charlie soffed. There was no way that Zac would guess that in such a short time. She was trying to guess from the first week she met him."How long it has been? Six weeks?"

"Yeah, I'm pacing myself," Zac nodded and then looked at Daryl. "One shot a day."

"All right, shoot."

"Well, the way you're at the prison, you being on the council, you're able to track, you're helping people, but you're still being kind of..."

"An asshole?" Charlie asked earning a death stare from the hunter.

"Surly," Zac corrected her. "Big swing here...Homicide cop."

Michonne laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" Daryl asked. "Hmm?"

"It makes lerfect sense," Michone said.

"The man's right," the hunter nodded. "Undercover. I don't like talking about it. It was a lot of heavy shit, you know?" Charlie smiled under her nose, knowing that Daryl was messing with a boy. She liked this version of Dixon, though - relaxed and chill. He smirked as he saw her smiling and looking away.

"Dude, really?"

Daryl threw him a stare and Zac nodded his head, clearing his throat. "Okay. I'll just keep trying, I guess."

"Yeah, you keep doing that."

Loud thud.

"Come on, Detectives," Charlie commanded as he saw a Walker on the other side of the glass behind Daryl and the two men raised immediately to their feet.

"Let's do it."

"All right, we go in, stay in formation for the sweep," called Sasha as the corpses of the Walkers were being dragged out of the store. "After that, you all know what you're supposed to look for. Any questions?"

For everyone the plan was pretty clear - entering, looking around, taking products that were crucial and going out. They were supposed to work fast as it wasn't sure if the place was really safe. At the end, it was a supply run, not a Sunday shopping.

"Bob, you coming?" Charlie asked the man that wanted to go with them so badly. He shook his head as if shaking something off his head and turned to face her with a pale smile. Charlie tilted her head and saw the body cut half.

The shop remained untouched which was strange. The military base and the whole accommodation overall was pretty eye catching, so if there was any other group it had to see it. Charlie was placing her feet carefully and as quiet as possible to avoid making unnecessary noise as they couldn't be sure if there wasn't more Walkers.

She was responsible to find small gardening stuff like: gloves, shears, seeds, maybe even some pots, but also stuff that would be useful not only in the garden: all sharp tools, fishing lines, nails, lines, and whatever else she could find.

While looking for the right alley she bumped on her friend, who was standing like a rock."What are you looking at?" Charlie asked as she approached Glenn.

"Nothing," he shook his head and walked away from the spot they were standing. She looked at whatever he was looking before but didn't gave it much thought. Walking away she saw a shelf with Big Cats - Carl's favorites, so she took a bunch and stuffed it in her pockets.

The sound of shattered glass followed by a loud thud stopped her from walking in the right direction.

"What happened?" asked Charlie as she arrived at the place of the incident.

"I was moving fast, man," Bob joked trying to loosen the atmosphere, while being stuck under the shelf with alcohol bottles. "I drove right into the drinks."

"Man, you lucked out," Tyreese said while trying to push the furniture off the man. "If this thing had come down on you the wrong way..." In that moment the roof broke and a Walker fell inside, stopping on whatever it was, dangling from it.

"We should probably go now," Glenn said, looking at it.

"Bob's still stuck!" Charlie called and immediately Daryl was right next to her.

"Let's get him out of there then."

Michonne nodded and looked at Charlie. "We'll get the others."

That's when the roof started breaking in other parts and more Walkers started falling into the store - this time however they weren't stuck, they were hungy and capable of moving, so they did. Charlie tried to run from the dead that already were inside, but still was careful of the breaking roof. In one of the allies she found Glenn on the ground, fighting with a Walker who was millimeters from biting his leg. Charlie saw how he's reaching for a gun and quickly shooting the thing in head, but out of nowhere a second Walker attacked him, so she was acting fast - with a swing motion she killed it with her axe. "Let's go!"

Asian man nodded his head and got up quickly from the floor, running right next to her. They were passing dead bodies - smashed heads with insides completely out. At the end of the alley they saw Daryl who was standing on couple of boxes, shooting Walkers and causing them to fall like dead flies.

"Helicopter!" Glenn screamed. "Daryl, go!"

"Let's get Bob!" Zach yelled as he appeared next to them, reminding them that the man was still stuck under the shelf.

Charlie with a disgusted face dragged the body by its legs and Daryl stomped on its head, smashing it completely. Zach raised the furniture and Dixon helped Bob to escape from under it - probably the last moment before the roof at that place completely disappeared. "Come on, Zach!" she called but instead of his steps she heard the scream.

"Zack!" Glenn screamed as everyone was just standing and observing him replacing Bob. There was no way to help the boy as the dead body was climbing on top of him and biting him on the neck.

She was taken over by panic and uncontrollable fear. It was so long since she saw a picture like that, dead bodies and blood everywhere. It was too late to help him and the only way was to safe her own life by running, but her muscles stopped listening. She was stuck and then she was dragged by someone.

"You good?" Glenn asked once they all were safe near their vehicles. She nodded and he gently patted her back.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Daryl screamed at her. "What were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking of..."

"Of yourself!" he yelled.

"What I was supposed to do?!"

"You had this!" he took her little axe and then threw it with anger on the ground. "Why you stood there like an idiot?!"

"Hey!" Glenn walked towards them and stood between, placing his hands on Daryl's chest. "Let's calm down."

"You are banned!" Dixon yelled anyway. "You hear me? I will never allow your presence on the run ever again, if you have no basic survival senses! You want to solve your personal shit? Cool. But not on the run! You come here to help!"

He read her like an opened book. She didn't agree to go on that run because she was interested in the supplies. Charlie agreed on going on that run as soon as she found out there was the Army Camp on the parking lot of the Big Spot. There was an idea, that maybe one of her brother was there - they were in the Army for goodness sake. If she found them there, even just their personal belongings, she would peacefully move her life.

When she got back to her cell, she covered the doors and laid down. Charlie knew she couldn't change her past, what she did to that people she lied, was already done. However, she couldn't swallow not knowing if her family, her own flesh and blood, was dead or alive. There were days when she didn't have time to think about them that much, but since the prison became a place of happiness and there was no psycho wanting to kill them, she had more time to devote every minute to them.

And Daryl knew that. He knew the feeling of not knowing, and he knew the feeling of disappointment.  He regretted yelling at Charlie the moment she walked away and with a force shut the car's doors. And with all honesty he didn't know why he was mad at her.

That's why he acted on his feelings and carefully placed the cloth away. "Hey," Daryl stood at the entrance of the cell. Charlie looked at him without a word. "I'm sorry for what I said back there. I was just scared."

"The great Daryl Dixon scared?"

"Not so great, right?" he scoffed.

"I was scared, too," Charlie said. "I wasn't outside for a long time. I haven't seen a Walker in a wild for a while, so...when I saw it on Zack today..."

"I know," he nodded.

"Also, you were right," she said. "I did went with you thinking of myself," Charlie explained. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Mhm," he nodded. He stepped further into the cell and placed a heavy and cold thing on her laps. It was a bow that he found on one of the runs. It was much better than the one he made for her at the farm, stronger.

"Oh, God," she gasped and looked up. "Where did you found this?"

"At some house," he shrugged. "Took it off the wall for you."

"It's beautiful."

Daryl's cheeks probably turned pink from the way she smiled at him, as it was the most genuine smile she gave him in months. Her eyes were shining bright while looking at him, and he couldn't look at her for too long.

His Charlie was back.

previous masterlist next

[remedyturtles]

death wish facts/stats

entirely complied for my own amusement lol

first of all, this is how long i was actually working on death wish, saved in 5k increments:

now i didn't track my stats for the whole time but here's an example of how much that translates to daily writing. this is some of july:

here's the final count from my word doc. i do my final edit in the ao3 browser so i guess some got cut:

here's the stats of my planning doc:

whatever you're imagining my planning doc to look like, it's probably not that. it's kinda a huge mess, actually. i've shuffled things around constantly bc i boot the 'used' plot points into a giant pile and they get all messed up. it's a shame i didn't save more versions of this honestly bc it probably would've been fascinating. behold the inside of my brain:

to go even further back, mid-may i was left alone at work for like two hours to do a course and ended up scribbling the FIRST ideas i had for death wish on a piece of paper. whited out are unused/irrelevant things:

wild to me to realize which of those lines were literally from my absolute first thoughts of this fic LMAO

at one point i had to track how many days it had been in-story since the invasion bc i lost count. by the end of the fic i believe it had been 25 days, with 10 days at the beginning of leo being not-present. so 155k for 15 days hahahahahaha

i made a death wish playlist at one point and listened to it non-stop while writing. here it is:

it's all so incredibly loud and rosyln were on repeat for the iconic chapter 29 and it makes me so emotional

however then for chapter 30 for some reason my brain only wanted the kim possible theme song on repeat. you know how it is.

when i first decided on most plot points and began writing i said to someone it would probably be like 100-150k. i was right, though i'm surprised to be on the top end for sure. i would not expect this again, it was definitely a perfect storm. i normally do like ~40-80k.

i knew exactly how the fic would end before i wrote a single word. as much as i love and there is a place for wish fulfillment (eg future!donnie gets to come back, sensei gets his own body) my thing was that i knew people reading it would relate to the story. and i want to have... hopeful realism? like, if you have experienced grief and you related to sensei, i don't want to say 'haha your loved ones are actually alive!!!' ... i want to say, bad things happen, you will find other reasons to live. and for anyone who related to sensei and leo's situation (eg DID) i felt like magically giving sensei a body wouldn't be fair, bc that won't happen. instead they can work together and get through. if that makes sense LMAO

i have three side fics planned atm. two of them will be probably 2-5k each, the third will be like... idk. 15k? i haven't started yet i promise i'm still taking a rest hahahaha

thanks for reading hah

[natlacentral]

Hi Ian, could you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Hey! Yeah, of course. I’m a 22-year-old actor & artist from College Station, Texas. I’m a huge fan of all things art, especially the medium of film & tv. I did martial arts most of my life growing up from the ages of 9-16; it basically consumed my life. I’m a 3rd degree black belt and world champion in Weapons; I still keep up on my training. I love to write all sorts of things from songs to screenplays to journal entries, my day truly isn’t complete without writing. My life is centered around my relationship with Jesus, which is where I find my rest, my strength, and my inspiration.

Congratulations on landing on one of the leading role in “Avatar: The Last Airbender”, how does it feel to be one of the main characters Sokka in this Netflix live-action adaptation?

 Thank you so much! It feels amazing to play such a beloved and iconic character in this series. This is my first leading role, so it was a big responsibility, and I grew so much as an actor and a person in general. I loved the animated series growing up, so it was really surreal to be a part of this life action adaptation.

You mentioned that you are a huge fan of the original animated series, what traits have you noticed from that version (or the movie adaptation) of Sokka that you like? How have you thought of continuing those traits in your portrayal of the character?

 Yeah, my goal with taking on the role of Sokka was to embody the soul of that character and translate who Sokka really is while bringing in the elements that come with making him a real-life person. He’s the meat and sarcasm guy with the boomerang, but he also has a lot of very complicated emotions coming up inside of him that he’s really never been able to face before. It was a really fun challenge to get to play with all of the layers of who he is. He masks a lot of what he’s going through with his humor which I think is true for a lot of funny people. Getting to find those little correlations from the animated character and connect him to a real, emotional human place was a big task but a very gratifying one to take on.

And is there anything new you have implemented in your interpretaion? If so, what is it?

 I think the newness that comes from adapting an animated character is getting to let their human components shine through. Finding their vulnerabilities and how and when they let those show and why. Being human is being vulnerable, so just keeping their core and soul of what makes them who they are and enhancing their humanity.

In the series, Sokka tries to prove his leadership and value even without having special abilities. In the end, he becomes a hero in his own way. Do you somehow resonate with Sokka’s perseverance? Do you think these traits could somehow be an inspiration to you in your real life?

Absolutely, perseverance is a crucial component to anyone becoming truly successful in anything. I had many grueling times in my career before coming onto this show where I was very close to booking the “career defining role” that ended up going to someone else. If I hadn’t learned my love for the art and on my pursuit of the craft, I never would’ve gotten this dream opportunity.

Trained in taekwondo at a young age, did it help you in your working on your role this time?

All movement experience while working on a show with this level of action definitely helps. However, my character doesn’t have a whole lot of technical knowledge when it comes to fighting, so I had to learn how to look like I didn’t know what I was doing when it came to martial arts for Sokka.

The series seems to be very dynamic, and we assume that the performance is very physically demanding. Have you gone through some training before filming? What kind of preparation have you done for the role, both mentally and physically?

They put us through a six week long bootcamp where all four of us got to learn how to bend all four elements which was very fun but didn’t cater to my character because obviously Sokka can’t bend. I took that time to get as physically in shape as I could. On the mental component of prep, I outlined the arc for what Sokka goes through for the first 2 episodes and mapping it out so I could know exactly where I was emotionally and why in any scene. We block shot two episodes at a time, so it was important for me to get as familiar as possible with the material and have anchor points to allow me to get into the head, heart and body of Sokka wherever we found him on his journey.

Could you tell us something interesting happened during the filming? Anything fun that we don’t know from behind the scene?

 The way we filmed the Appa scenes were really interesting and weird because the whole bottom half of Appa, including the face, are fully CGI so we would hop on this huge 15 – 20ft animatronic and a crew of like 10 guys would surround the creature and manually pull and push the Appa rig up and down to make it look like we were flying.

For you, what are the most enjoyable things throughout this whole experience?

The family that I’ve made with the cast. The four of us have really become like siblings and have grown up for the past 3 years together. It’s by far been the biggest gift getting to work on this show that I’m really proud of and grateful for.

Now let’s talk about your entrepreneurship. You founded a clothing line, KALÓ SOIL, together with two of your pals. What inspires you to start this brand?

 Kaló Soil is a passion project and a creative outlet for me and the guys. It was really great for me to put my hands to another passion of mine during the actors strike. At Kaló we’re all deeply influenced by our faith, so our goal is to glorify God through the art of fashion.

How did you step into the world of repurposing vintage clothes into unique new fashion pieces?

At Kaló Soil we have a large collection of curated vintage, which is how the company started. We were wholesaling vintage and needed a show room to work out of and display the pieces we’ve accumulated. When I joined the company with Ryan Sullivan and Hunter Baker, we integrated our “Made-in-house” products which are our original designs hand sewn and sourced In LA. We still sell curated vintage alongside our own pieces online and in-store.

During the preparation of the physical store, you guys helped a homeless contractor (or maybe an interior designer you would say?) by accommodating him in the upcoming space and let him design the furniture in the store. This is indeed a benevolent act.  What encourages you to do so? Could you tell us more about the backstory and about the collaboration?

We met our friend Quinn while moving into our storage space near Skid row in DTLA and hired him to help us source products for the furniture and interior design section of the store. He’s a great guy and we’ve learned a lot from him. He has an amazing eye for the unusual which is something that all of us at Kaló really admire and value.

Are there any future plans for Ian Ousley? Both for his acting career and his fashion entrepreneurship?

The plan right now is to go back for the next two seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender and pour my heart, soul, sweat and best efforts into the process of serving the project to make it the best it can possibly be. I’m about to start filming another project this summer that I’m very excited to dive into and share with all of you. A huge desire of mine is to direct, so I’m hoping to get my own short film shot before we start filming the show again. However, I’m mostly just trying to stay centered and focused on maintaining my relationship with the arbiter of peace, truth and life. That relationship between Jesus and I, above anything I could do in my career, is my ultimate goal and purpose.

[marciabrady]

Is it wrong to side-eye people who never before liked Disney but suddenly go all gaga over the remakes? Considering these remakes are horrible copy-pastes of the og classics it just gives me insidious thoughts. I dunno, but after hearing for years from folks how Ariel was "Problematic" for giving her voice for a man and suddenly all these same people adore Remake Ariel (who does the same thing as og Ariel, she barely changed) is just..odd. Isn't she still problematic in their eyes?

No, I honestly do it too because people who are flighty like that feel disingenuous. I find it really strange when people do a 180 on anything they like with no context or natural time for change to actually occur. All the criticisms I've seen about Ariel from the 1989 movie are totally unfounded, and people just hated to hate her (ALSO don't even get me started on the fact that those same people who STILL believe that junk about the original movie are turning a blind eye to the really offensive "fixes" of the remake and how it's still a white director and writing team that's supposed to be telling a black woman's- in this version- story and in doing so stumble SO BADLY, but that's another conversation for another time) but a lot of people have openly said that the main reason they're supporting Halle's Ariel is because she's an Ariel that looks like them and they want to support a film with a leading actress that's a woman of color, and I appreciate their honestly. I mean, honestly, she does a better job than the other actresses they cast in the past and wanting to celebrate talent of color is, in and of itself, always a good thing.

I do know a quotient of white people, however, who go above and beyond to overly compliment the movie- and have done so even before it came out or we saw a trailer- and they never liked the story or the character previously (and were very vocal in expressing their disapproval for OG Ariel, while they literally copied OG Ariel's songs and plot and dialogue in sooo many instances in the remake) and, unfortunately, I kinda feel like it's the 2023 version of "I'm not homophobic, I have a gay friend." They feel like they are subliminally telling people that, by supporting this movie, they're not racist and it's an image correction for themselves of sorts, because incidentally these white people I'm thinking about all have extremely checkered pasts. And when they all parrot the exact same opinions about the film and talking points, it just irritates me because, especially as a minority myself, it's easy come easy go. Fairweather activists and allies definitely aren't what any community needs and that's the only way I could classify people who just generically follow whatever they think is socially acceptable at the time, to the point where anything they say is meritless, and blends in with the cultural landscape at the time, because sometimes the pervasive thought isn't for the better. Luckily, right now, we are in a place where diversity is celebrated, but if that isn't the case in the future, will those people who flip on a dime go back to being the aggressors and the people fighting against minorities? Those types of things scare me and honestly those thoughts are ones I have all the time, especially as a minority. Does this person actually mean their support, or are they doing it to course correct? Do they actually want to become better people, or are they doing it because they feel like they have to? Do they like me/want to respect me, or is it just want approval from me represents for them? Is all of this change and progress for the better and permanent- or could it be taken away overnight?

Also, there are genuinely so many problems with the live action movie and no one's saying anything about it, which is fine like people are allowed to enjoy this movie, but...for all the things wrong with it, especially for a film that's come in 2023, I would like to see more discourse around it so that change can actually happen and improvement can occur instead of this weird "we cast one person of color! Act like you're happy and it's perfect with these crumbs we're throwing you or else" mentality that's circulating. You can approve of Halle in the role and still see the issues with the production and the completed film. You can want more people of color in films and still speak to some of the problematic elements from the live action. And I think the marketing for this film and all the conversation surrounding it has kinda promoted this false belief in people that if they don't blindly support this film, people of color will never be in media again??? Which is insane. Most of the films that are out right now have talent of color as the leads and it's only going to continue, more so, in the future. So again, you can support talent of color and still advocate for when they're being mistreated or when a film isn't where it should be with the other creative talent, the surrounding cast, even if the marketing in and of itself is something that's riddled with issues.

[desertsquiet]

Album of the month - January 2023: Sunshine Boy (Sessions & Demos) - Townes Van Zandt

The first month of 2023 has felt, at times, like the culmination of one of the worst prolonged emotional and psychological states I’ve ever experienced, one that started around the middle of November. I don’t think I’m completely out of it as of right now - actually, not at all - but I can only hope those negative peaks are starting to subside or at least become less in number. At the end of December/beginning of January, I did not feel like I had anything to look forward to for the new year. Nor anything to be proud of for 2022. Being on social media and seeing people (rightly) being proud of their accomplishments or expressing whatever they were looking forward to only angered me and sent me into an awful negative spiral, because I couldn’t have been in a more vastly different place at that moment. The real optimism for the many changes that were about to come into my life I had experienced just a couple of months prior completely gone. Vanished. Like it never existed. For the first ten days of January I was still on my winter break and I kept on being as moody and miserable as ever, having just had the final proof that no matter the setting, my mental state did not change or improve in the slightest. That I was the problem, not the place or the people around me. Which made me feel even worse. About the only part of my life that didn’t feel like it was crumbling down this month was my relationship/connection to music. It didn’t offer a magical solution to my problems, but it was a very strong presence and very often the only refuge from the literal hell my brain has become. In many ways it felt like it came to my rescue, by sending me new tracks and albums I could latch on to and form new, much needed connections with. There were so many and I am grateful to each and every one of them, but at the same time I knew what album I would be writing about in this post exactly 10 minutes into it.

A collection of studio sessions/alternative takes (Disc 1) and demos (Disc 2) from 1971-1972, “Sunshine Boy” allows you the incredible privilege of peaking into an atmosphere that is not quite a live nor a studio dimension, but something in between the two. A sweet middle spot that I shouldn’t be surprised to find out fits him so well, after all. But boy if it does. I don’t even know how to describe it properly, not sure if I have the words. I am however pretty sure that it’s already one of my absolute favorite, and absolutely one of the most precious Townes recordings I can think of. Disc 1 of this is just such a pleasure to hear. He sounds so good. He sounds so confident, relaxed, in the moment, enjoying every second of it. He sounds happy. He has a talented group of musicians around him and what comes through the most, more than almost anywhere else, is his love of performing with other people and constantly feeding off each other’s energy and creativity. There’s also an edge to many of these performances that he doesn’t show very often. While still mostly acoustic, the set is a lot more uptempo than usual, with the drummer especially asserting his presence in a way that rarely happens in his music but that, here, seems to work perfectly, aggressive bluesy rhytmn guitar playing at all times and other instruments that often play a percussive role. And the two excursions into downright electric territory are absolutely to die for: such a pity that an original as cool as Sunshine Boy did not make it on any of his studio albums from that period, but it was definitely NOT for lack of quality and oh my gosh, I’m sorry but this is the best version of Who Do You Love he ever did. I’m obsessed with it. He’s also just playing around with his own songs a lot, lyrically and melodically. Whether it’s because they’re still not “finished” and he’s still experimenting to see what works better or just because he’s in such a relaxed mental place that improvising comes very naturally, the result is so cool to hear. As for Disc 2…well. I always say that some of his songs are so gentle and quiet, and the subject matter is so personal, that they almost feel *too* private and intimate. Like sometimes you even forget that you’re listening with headphones and not in the same room with him as he sings directly to you. One of those is Greensboro Woman, without a doubt. Now imagine what levels of intimacy the demo version of that song can reach. I’m not even gonna try to find the words to describe that. So I’ll just say that the entire second half of this album is something very dangerous for me and that’s naturally why I’ve been listening to it non stop for a month. I do just also want to point out how cute his cover of ‘Old Paint’ is and how great the other unreleased original ‘Diamond Heel Blues’ is. I love his blues songs and his blues guitar playing and I’m always thrilled to have more of it. I think I’ve talked enough so that’s it. I guess I enjoyed this one. Just a little bit.

[ruminativerabbi]

Dancing in the Moonlight

There are so many things in my heart following this crazy rollercoaster of a week that began with the death of my dear father-in-law last Wednesday and continued through his funeral on Thursday, my return to New York without Joan on Friday, our beautiful musical Shabbat on Friday evening, the remarkable Shabbat morning service featuring remarks by Rabbi Carl Perkins (my friend of many, many years), the Gold Plate Dinner itself on Sunday, Joan’s return to Long Island on Monday, and the next few days of shiva observance in our home. You could say it’s been a busy week!

Any one of the above could turn into a Friday letter in its own right. But I thought I’d write this week not about any of it but about all of all, about the experience of knitting so many discordant themes and diverse obligations and opportunities into a coherent whole. Because, in the end, isn’t that what life itself is like, only just not usually quite that concentrated? We dance through the years of our lives, after all, and, as the music changes to suit the occasion, we dance differently: slower or faster, in our partner’s arms or merely facing each other, in step with the other couples on the dance floor or fully on our own and without reference to anyone else. But, at least for as long as we can, we keep dancing. When the pace actually gets a bit dizzying, as happened to me this last week, we finally force ourselves to take note of what we’re doing. But most of the time, we’re too pre-occupied for that kind of focused introspection and we just keep on keepin’ on, twirlin’ and swirlin’ to the music, happy still to be standing, still to be moving, still to be dancing in the moonlight.  (Just for the record, “Dancing in the Moonlight” by King Harvest was my favorite record of 1972, the year I left for my junior year of university in France. I knew you’d all want to know that.) And the music is always there, always audible, always present—just usually in the background. And then something happens—sometimes a single event, but other times a strange concatenation of unrelated events—and suddenly, almost out of the blue, there we are in the moonlight as the world falls away and we are suddenly on the dance floor all by ourselves.

That’s what this last week was like.

Since I mentioned one of my favorite songs from my college years, I’ll also mention one of my favorite books, The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. Watts, now forgotten by most, was a remarkable and well-known figure in his day and a great author. The child of devout Anglican parents, he eventually forsook Christianity to become a Buddhist monk, then went on to write any number of books I treasured as a young person. Of them all, however, The Wisdom of Insecurity is the one that had the greatest effect on me. He begins by observing that, just like people, animals also age as they pass through the years. They get older, then sicker, then weaker. And eventually they die, just as do we all. But the difference between animals and people is that, whereas we are consumed with anxiety about all of it (by which I mean: the aging process, the possibility of illness, the fear of incapacity, the opacity of death itself and our inability to see past it other than in our mostly made-up fantasies, the whole concept of growing more frail and less hale as we age, etc.), animals don’t seem to worry at all about following the natural trajectory of their lives. In fact, they seem far better at facing it all than any of us is. And so, as they become less strong and less able, they just move through those stages of their lives the way they’ve already moved through the earlier ones, possibly even not noticing the diminution of ability as it devolves upon them, and simply growing into new version of themselves without seeming to find that concept upsetting or off-putting. Growth, they appear wordlessly to be saying, may not be always positive, but it is invariably normal.

And so is the anxiety growth naturally engenders. In his book, Watts teaches that the insecurity that the aging process engenders in all of us is not a bad thing and certainly not something to try to deny or avoid. There is, he wrote, great wisdom in insecurity, in accepting the fact that we have no idea what the next day will bring (which idea would presumably be totally foreign to animals), that we cannot control the universe as we decline any more than we could when we were young people growing more strong and more capable with each passing year of childhood and adolescence. And it is from that insecurity that wisdom comes. (Or can come.) And not just wisdom, Watts wrote, but wisdom born of acceptance, of acquiescence, of submission to the nature of things, to our place in the universe, to the Creator who created Creation according to a divine plan that seems to include inevitable decline as we age and grow less sturdy and increasingly rickety. Even after all these years, I can still recommend that book to you all. You’ll like it, I think. But it is troubling too—and precisely because we are so good at avoiding these truths for most of the time, even perhaps for most of our lives.

And then you have a week like I just had. Brought together in a handful of days were the following: anxiety in the face of impending death, death itself (weirdly captured on video, since my father-in-law was actually facetiming with Joan when he breathed his last), eulogy, burial, bereavement, terrible sadness…and then, as if I wasn’t feeling mortal enough, my return to New York and the ensuing worship services and speakers and dinners and dancing celebrating my impending retirement, which is to say the beginning of the next stage, the stage that contains—not plausibly or possibly, but inevitably—all the things that Alan Watts writes about in his book. So you can excuse me for feeling a bit fragile as I contemplate all of this. Fragile and brittle. And yet, also as per Watts, hopeful and eager to see what the next years bring.

Is that eagerness itself a kind of denial? You could make that point very cogently! Or was Watts right that the great reward for facing things as they are is the wisdom that insecurity engenders as we find the courage to acknowledge the flimsiness of it all, to face the impermanence of this world we inhabit and, specifically, of our place in it? I thought he was when I was in college and, now, a half-century later, I find that I still do.

Like everybody, I’d like to live forever. But I’m not indulging that fantasy these days and, instead, I’m embracing the insecurity and seeking comfort in the ephemeral. Nothing lasts forever. As the great philosopher said, panta rhei, it’s all in flux, all changing constantly, all morphing forward into its own next version, all a work in endless and permanent progress. You can like it or not, but that’s how things are in this world God made and set us all into. So I’m not going to retreat into morose acceptance of my fate or resignation to the inevitability of decline. Instead—and this is the last and best lesson Joan’s dad taught me—I’m going to dance in the moonlight for as long as I can. Like my father-in-law, I have a happy marriage to sustain me and three wonderful children. And another three wonderful children-in-law. I have grandchildren too, unberufen, and watching them grow is and always will be a source of huge pleasure for me. So what am I complaining about? That life is process? I’ve known that since I was in college!

[1001albumsrated]

#10: Thelonious Monk - Brilliant Corners (1957)

Genre(s): Jazz, Hard Bop

"A singular voice" is one of the most over-abused phrases in music writing, with music critics mostly throwing it around when they either can't find anything more specific to say about an artist or want to take a positive stance on something they don't really like. Often what they really mean by "singular" is "weird", or maybe just plain "bad". Thelonious Monk, however, truly is a singular voice. No one plays like him, and no one writes like him. His compositions were dense and challenge harmonic sensibilities, while also being highly musical and highly memorable (in fact, he's written an enormous number of songs that became jazz standards, and is the second-most-recorded jazz composer of all time, behind the legendary Duke Ellington in 1st). His playstyle is full of erratic, lilting rhythms and leftfield harmonic and melodic choices. And yet, it's highly listenable. No one would ever accuse Monk of being free jazz, or even particularly out. He's just Monk, in a way that no one ever was before and no one ever will be after.

I think the real question here isn't whether a Monk album should be included in 1001 Albums, but *which* Monk album should be included. I can't be too mad at Brilliant Corners as a selection: 4/5 tracks are originals, and all 4 of those would become staples of his shows and albums (and all but Bemsha Swing were first recorded on Brilliant Corners). That being said, none of the tracks on Brilliant Corners are my favorite version of any given tune. The album is stitched together from multiple sessions with different bands, all of whom notoriously struggled to play the tunes (the title track in particular was so tough that they eventually gave up and did a supertake cut together from 4 hours of failed takes). I think stronger, more lively performances can be found on many of Monk's later recordings from the 60s (Live in Tokyo is a personal favorite, albeit hard to find). But, Brilliant Corners is still a great listen, and I think it makes sense to pick from the perspective that it's the origin of a number of classic Monk originals.

So MUST you hear Brilliant Corners before you die? Absolutely. My only complaint is that you could easily include a couple other Monk albums in the list, and probably should, both on account of the high aesthetic value of the recordings and on account of his enormous contributions to the greater jazz songbook. But if you have to pick just one, this is a reasonable one to pick.

For the nerds: I listened to his in hi-res on Qobuz. I was surprised to see that I don't own a copy of it. I've got a whole lot of Monk, but I guess I've never ran across this one in the right place at the right time. I'll grab it one of these days.

Also, if you're wondering why we just bounced from '58 in the last post back to '57, I believe the authors are sequencing by recording date rather than release date.

Next up: Palo Congo, by Sabú Martínez (or, as credited on the album, simply Sabú). This is the first album on the list to completely blindside me, so tune in for the first true first reaction of the series!