#all of this happened while we're struggling with things from before that i dont know how to cope with

[evilminji]

You know, i just had the mental image of a sith in star wars finding a ritual or something to summon a ghost and end up summoning danny, while in space. The sith is struggling to try and convince this otherworldly being to help them do evil and their just staring out the nearest viewport in awe about the amount of new space things to discover.

How does it feel? To have such a big and wrinkly brain? So full of smartness?? :O

That? Is Brilliant~☆

It could be a Krell situation. Stress of the war got to be too much. Or a Dooku situation, discontent fed and fed until it burst. Like a silently festering wound, left unseen and untreated.

Regardless of HOW it happened?

The lil shit steals from Madame Nu. Like a CRAZY PERSON.

Rightfully terrified that she will Kick Their Ass into the stratosphere for touching HER archives, they head straight for the "Sith Stuff". What does it DO? What RESEARCH did they do? HA! You ask too much of them! There is no PLAN here!

Their brain has gone to SOUP with the Dark Side. It's all wild mood swings and impulse decisions! Research and careful precautions takes PATIENCE. Planning. The calm and rationality they just THREW OUT AN AIR LOCK.

They are high on the initial high of the Dark Side that few, if any, Dark Siders ever SURVIVE. That TEST of their character and control, as they stand in the storm they have unleashed upon themselves.

You want POWER?

Okay.

HAVE IT.

Like trying to swallow a waterfall. Drink the ocean, one cup at a time. Endless, yes, but equally so? It is BRINE. Not the life giving waters of the Light. The more you drink... the deeper your thirst. The faster you die. Can you control yourself? Suffer it? For that's all that's left... suffering. Thirst. Endless, Endless Thirst.

Water water everywhere, and it shall grind your bones to DUST when next you drink.

Welcome to the Dark Side! Was it WORTH it?

But, ah, our Fallen's brain is muddled soup. They think so. They are not themselves. May never be again. That's why it's a tragedy. Because it both IS and ISN'T their hands that takes that Sith artifact. Because who they WERE would be appalled.

They don't even know what they are grabbing, do they? No one does. Seized from the ruins of a laboratory. Long dead horrors, painted upon the walls. A Sith's obsession with the afterlife of his people. Ghosts. Beings that were, supposedly, DIFFERENT then Force Ghosts.

The notes speak of "green". A vision or experience in his youth. Brief. The world tearing open. A gate to somewhere "green". The Sith believed it was the afterlife. Felt death inside the gate. Described as "peaceful, joyful, driven, and eternal", he was ultimately unable to full articulate the full scope of what he believed he saw.

Now his last device is in the hands of a fallen jedi.

Who is going to USE it.

P A N I C

Obviously, the Temple gaurds chase the crazy mofo as hard as they can. Without a DOUBT, every master on hand and available, is roped in by Madame Nu to FOLLOW that psychopath, before he unleashs FORCE KNOWS WHAT, directly over CORUSCANT AIRSPACE!!! The SENATE. THE TEMPLE?! HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF LIVES!?

Fallen McFuckface? Clearly did not think this through (nooooo, REALLY? Everyone is SHOCKED! Shocked, they tell you!), panics. Which is, unfortunately, the LAST thing they wanted them to do. FUCK™.

Masters and Knights are LITERALLY cutting through the hull, kicking down the door, they can survive limited Space exposure and honestly? We're not THAT high yet! Let's see you jump to hyperspace with HOLES in your ship! (Fucking, DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS! They're insane, remember?!) (Shit. You're right.)

When?

.......Green...~¤~

Hilariously? The Sith can plan all they want. But you can NEVER plan for stupid. Make a plan idiot proof, as they say, and the Universe will just build a better idiot. All that carefully curated misery, hatred, and suffering? That DISPAIR. The webs upon webs of Darkness carefully spread across the Senate district? Choking the Temple?

Mmmmm, tasty kindling. Good fuel! Sith Artifact LIKEY~!

It RIPS and TEARS. A screaming MAW IN THE SKY. A black hole for Dark Side energy that takes and takes and TAKES. Dropping people all across the district below. KILLING the particularly irredeemably monstrous. After all~!

The Force? Is in all things.

You DON'T have to be Force Sensitive, to Fall. Just a BASTARD. Just cruel and selfish, hateful and needlessly petty. All the things that would sour and turn a Jedi? Can sour and turn YOU too. Just slower, quiter, and with less explosions. But! It still wraps the Dark around your bones. Feeds it into your blood.

Kills you, when it all gets ripped away.

One must wonder.... how many Senators die instantly? And how many die in the days to come? Slowly, painfully, bed-bound as they reflect on who they had become? The fall out will be SPECTACULAR.

The Jedi's fault? How? How is their being stretched so thin they could not mount a proper response THEIR fault? How is YOUR corruption, THEIR fault? Please note all the individuals who were FINE! Baffled, but FINE!

But perhaps you are correct.

Perhaps, for the safety of ALL, we should MOVE our main Temple.

We've done it before. We can do it again. Or do you not want to HAVE that conversation? Hmmm? No, no, we wouldn't want to be a THREAT to you FINE people! You HONORABLE senators! Please, continue to yell and make demands! SEE HOW FAR IT GETS YOU!

Would they normally send someone more diplomatic? Yes. But STRANGELY all of THEM had weird SITH Darkness on them that got violently ripped off! They are in the halls of healing. Unconscious. Because getting Sith shit, that was hooked into your brain, violently ripped out? Not GREAT! 0 out of 10 healers recommend!

Fuuuuck you! Yes, I bite! And be warned, my Race is VENOMOUS! *aggravated Jedi Senior Padawan noises, hissing*

Danny? Got pulled out in FULL regalia. Just FULL on Ice and Stars. Full "I am the Cosmos beholding itself, I am the dead child you could not save.", beyond vanta-black armor and cape like a window to ever shifting stars, crown of aurora borealis playing off the eternal ice, all upon a youngling that seems forever floating... frozen in time. By death.

Was it sacrifice? Natural? Is it just a shape the spirit takes? IS he a youngling?

They both can and can not feel him.

Both can and can not SEE him.

He is so young....

A child king, hsmiles with such shared grief, when they look upon that too large crown, upon a head that should never have been forced to wear it. Like a child, forced to wear his father's mantle too soon. Is that what happened? Was it something worse? They can not bring themselves to ask.

Not when he is so... so DELIGHTED?

Playing with the younglings. In AWE of each and everyone of them. The things they learned each day. "Who wants to go flying?" "Try to float me!" "I believe in you." Oh, he BASKS in their Light like a desperate thing. Showers them with praise and attention, gentle corrections and undivided attention.

He is empathic. Alive and dead. Fascinated by the stars.

And of course... King™.

No, no, he's not interested in your Senate. Doesn't like um, Doesn't trust um. The vibes are RANCID. But I mean... if you REALLY need an army so bad? Since it seems you guys are pushing yourself WAY outside of your normal duties? Like, he doesn't know, uhhh farmers burning crops to prevent starvation? Something like that.

Just? Since you hate it? But are worried people will die? Or those Clone guys (Sweet! Clones! Ellie is gonna be HYPED.) Are gonna die? He could, you know... fix that for you?

JUST you.

We're gonna have to get it in writing. And they won't do anything BUT stop the robots and help people. They don't actually answer to you. Soooo.....?

.......are you offering us an army? (Yeah. An endless skeleton army. Lead by the greatest Generals to have ever died.).....(they get bored.)

And SUDDENLY? Oh look! The Galactic suffering levels? Just fucking DROPPED. All those SENTIENT Clone soldiers! Dying in vain, in agony, ALONE? Not happening! Skeletons can get blasted apart, fade, reassemble, and march RIGHT BACK OUT! This is GREAT fun!

And even better? Unlike with Pariah? THIS time they march? King PHANTOM is sending them to HELP people! Woooooo! Destroy metal crunchy things! Help clean up rubble! Build a house! Rescue trapped people from rubble! Tireless effort! Honor and service! Thanks for the FREE METAL! *rips apart your robots*

There are no anti-ecto technologies here! The BEST they have is Force users! Which? Ha ha ha! GOOD LUCK. That's what? One? TWO? Of you?? To HOW MANY of us??? *cackles in bone army*

And! If they happen upon OTHER things they don't like? Whoop! Should'a thought of that! Before being a DICK! King Phantom says slavery is ILLEGAL. And we, the FORMER slave army of King Pariah, have Millennium Long ISSUES with that! (Easy to remove that chip, when you can reach THROUGH a person. Here you Slaver FUCK. YOU have it! In fact! Have ALL of them. From each and every slave.)

Anikin LOVES his new Bone friends. They are WONDERFUL. Him n them? Bonded. He's made them all speech boards. They're plotting the gruesome end of the Hutt cartel together. He's showing them the holo of his wedding. They're making Super Advanced Chip scan-.....

W....Why is his scanner going off? There should be nothing near by for it to recognize. The only thing HERE is him, his Bone Buddies, and Rex for supervision.... *mounting horror as he slowly waves the device around* *beep*

R-Rex?

...

......

The Clones? De-chipped in like... two days. There are too many skeletons to NOT have them be able to just? *reach in, feel for the Non-Clone bit, grab it, pull out* didn't even need surgery! But boy, oh, boy! Is Anikin upset. That sure is a Slave chip! Hey, Kamino! Have a Chosen One and his Bones Bros! Some Clones in orbit with Real Big Guns.

And Palatine? Is? PISSED.

His whole ass Empire is dissolving in his hands. The Sith Master Plan! Going up in smoke! Walls are closing in! All because of ONE(1) glowing BRAT.

Wanna bet he goes after him... with LIGHTNING? In human form, of course. Danny. Who DIED to electricity. Who has, throughout ALL of this? Been chilling in the Jedi temple, finally... FINALLY! Unwinding. Putting down the stress on his shoulders. Healing from his childhood. Cuddling cute babies and laying on the grass to nap, listen to the waterfall. Be at PEACE, surrounded by the Light of the Jedi.

Danny, who has been making friends. Enjoying the archives. For once in his stressful, STRESSFUL life? Letting OTHER PEOPLE deal with it. Playing with alien puppies and weird not-cats. Trying new foods! Seeing about adopting some droids that Tucker might get on with. Sorry "buying" some droids. (As though those Restraining Bolts aren't coming off the SECOND they droids are in his hands.)

It's been cool. Relaxing. Great for his mental health.

They have folks LITERALLY called Mind Healers here! Jazz would love it!

So obviously Sith face ruins it. Hurts his friends and blasts him with LIGHTNING. The kids are crying and terrified. This was supposed to be some sort of "learn about how the Republic works" day trip to the Senate! He was helping chaperone. They are being so, SO brave. Staying together. Trying to get their teacher out of harms ways.

He? Is? PISSED.

How DARE you. How FUCKING DARE YOU?! A fight between adults? Not his Reality, not his business. Clockwork drilled that into his head. He CAN'T keep the Multiverse together. Fight every fight for everyone, save everything. People have free will. Have to decide for THEMSELVES. Choose to do the right thing.

It doesn't mean SHIT if they don't save themselves. Wont last, in the end, because they won't have LEARNED a damn thing. He GETS that! But KIDS?! Ooooh ho ho! He DRAWS THE LINE AT KIDS! At shocking the SHIT out of him with LIGHTNING!

You want to poke the sleeping titan 'til it wakes up?

Well congrats!

YOU HAVE HIS ATTENTION NOW!

*inhale*

*Wail*

Palpatine goes through the HOLE where about fifteen walls USED to be. Half of Coruscant physically hears it and EVERYONE with even a TOUCH of Force sensitivity FEELS it. Across the entire planet and up into orbit.

Dying screams and the crackle of electricity. Regret. Fear. The desperate need to protect, in your final moment. Pain and pressure, the cool slide of Death come to take it all away. You were just fourteen. You were just fourteen! You died screaming, you came back screaming, in the place between... will you ever stop screaming?

You are the Galaxy, the Cosmos, the INFINITE. You are just a child.

How many souls died screaming?

Can't you hear ALL OF THEM?

Pissed or not, kids come first. Fuuuuuck that guy. Danny picks up the teacher, the kids, and back to the Temple they go. Teacher survives. Kids cling. Senate gets itself into a snit over the "unprovoked attack". But the thing is? A whole CLASS of Baby Jedi say the Chancellor is the Sith Lord. Look too spooked to be lying. Their teacher, too WOUNDED for this to be a prank.

The Jedi close rank.

Palpatine tries to use the Clones.

You know... the De-chipped by their Bone Bros Clones.

Commander Fox? Gets to finally, FINALLY(!!!) live out his long time fantasy... of shooting the fucker. Slug thrower. Tragically, fails to kill him. But the attempt WAS enthusiastic! We applaud his attempt. Commander Fox gets to join Danny in the Gardens, under a Crechelings pile, staring at the stain glass ceiling and Not Thinking Or Having Responsibilities.

Huh.... kid's right. This IS nice.

Fox enjoys being a climb-able lump for the Crechelings. Welcome to the club, my dude.

The other Jedi? THEY can figure it out. The Temple is literally unassailable. If needs be, his army can PICK IT UP AND MOVE IT. Danny is Vibin. Have a fruit. You hear about Skywalker? Making pretty good ground on his whole "one man and massive bone army campaign against Slavery" thing. Missed the whole.... his buddy was an asshole reveal. Apparently reception is spotty. *shrugs*

His wife's nice though! *various married Jedi agree, Obi-Wan continues to sulk because: "REALLY?! You didn't even INVITE ME!? My own Padawan! To his WEDDING! Anikin how COULD YO-!?"*

[doitforbangchan]

sorry if it's a little long. I love to come up with plots more than the smut part

you were just supposed to meet them backstage after a concert and get a picture. but hyunjin was obviously interested so chan asked you to stay behind, offering to drop you off since you were there alone. while they were waiting for the fans to leave, hyunjin kept talking to you and managed to get you to accept going with them to the dorms with them to chill after the concert. not the type to be able to say no easily, you accepted. you ended up drinking with them. the members tried making conversations but a tipsy hyunjin was doing all he could to keep your attention on him. after a while, the others left to sleep and since it was too late for you to go home, you had to stay over. hyunjin wanted you to sleep on his bed so you'd be comfortable and he'd be in the living room but it didn't seem fair to him. that's how you ended up in the same bed. the two of you were just talking at first but as you sobered up, things escalated between the two of you...

After party - Hyunjin

Masterlist

Idol!Hyunjin x Fan!Reader (Afab)

The pics are formatting weird and I dont know why :(

CW: Light smut, kissing, grinding, thigh riding, drinking, softdom!Hyunjin, sub!reader, cursing, anxiety (Lemme know if i missed any) Not proofread :) to my requester- I hope you enjoy please let me know what you think lovey <3

WC: 2.4k

Hyunjin was enamored by you. The second you walked backstage for your VIP picture with the group he knew he was doomed. Not only were you beautiful but so kind. You were all smiles as you greeted them each, handing them each little figures you had created for them of their Skzoo animals.

For you, this was the greatest thing to ever happen to you. You had waited so long for this, counting down the days since purchasing your ticket and backstage pass. You only expected it to be a quick meeting, get a picture maybe a hug and then be on your way. You were honestly shocked when Bangchan had invited you to hang out with them for a while.

"Did you come alone?" Chan had asked you when he noticed nobody was with you.

"Yeah, I did." You answered sheepishly, "I don't have any other friends into K-pop so I'm pretty used to attending events and concerts alone."

"It just means you have good taste." Hyunjin winked at you, and you felt the heat rush to your face as you mumbled a 'thanks'.

Hyunjin was sat next to you with his arm slung over the back of the couch you were both sitting on but he wasn't touching you. He just wanted to be close to you without being weird.

The two of you sat there for over an hour as he asked you questions about yourself, of course the other boys would chime in every now and again but generally they liked watching Hyunjin try and be cool with you. It was entertaining.

It was nearing closing for the venue and they had to leave soon, but Hyunjin didn't want this to end. He looked to Chan for a quick second with pleading eyes before he looked back at you and blurted "Do you wanna come home with us?"

You were thrown off by his sudden inquiry, "Huh?"

"Not in a gross way!" He panicked as Jisung burst into laughter watching his friend struggle. "I mean, we're headed back to our dorm and we planned on having a few drinks and hanging out. Our version of an after party. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh uhhh" you looked around at the encouraging looks from Felix and Chan, ignoring the snickering from Jisung and Seungmin. "I mean, I guess if you want me too, maybe an hour or so wouldn't hurt." You were a people pleaser and couldn't say no on a regular day, but especially not when your favorite idol asks you too.

"Perfect" He smiled brightly.

The ride over was more luxury than you were used too, even being shoved into the back of the black SUV. Perspective really was everything huh?

Once back at the dorms the boys wasted no time in getting acquainted with the bottle of tequila Minho had slyly taken from the venue. Though you kindly refused to do shots, you couldn't say no when Felix offered you a mixed drink he made you with some juice from the fridge.

Time felt like it was flying by. Before you knew it, it was nearing midnight. It was easy to loose track of time, though. Since the moment you got here Hyunjin had take it upon himself to keep you company. He had only taken two shots but he was clearly tipsy; his mild slurring and glassy eyes being a dead giveaway.

Not that you were any better, being a lightweight yourself. That's probably why it took you so long to notice the latening time.

"Shit" you cursed after checking your phone, only now noticing how late it was. "It's getting really late, I think I gotta head out."

Hyunjin looked around and noticed you two were the only ones left in the living room, the other members seemingly having gone to bed or to their own dorms. "Damn, how did we not notice how late it was?" He knew exactly how he didn't notice. You were too mesmerizing for him to want to pay attention to anything else.

"I should probably try to call an Uber." You sighed, opening your phone and praying you could get an available ride. Most Saturday nights were impossible to get a ride, since it seemed like the whole city tried to get one at the same time.

Hyunjin spoke before his brain could catch up. "Sleep in my bed tonight." He backtracked at seeing your eyes widen at his proposition. "Uhh what I mean is, it's really late and getting a ride might take hours anyway, so you could just stay here tonight if you wanted.."

"Oh umm." You bit your lip, nervously. "I don't want to be an inconvenience for you."

He shook his head in disagreement, shaggy hair bouncing at his vehement action. "It's no inconvenience, hon. Really, it would even make me feel better knowing you were here safe instead of waiting for a rando or walking home in the middle of the night."

"Aren't you kind of a rando, Hyunjin?" You had a slight tease to your voice.

"A rando who you came home with, yeah." He giggles, standing up and putting his hand out for you to take. He looked at you expectantly when you hesitated to grab his hand in return. "Come on, y/n. You can take my bed and I'll take the couch tonight. No objections!"

You shyly took his hand in yours, giving up on trying to leave knowing he was right.

You found yourself unable to sleep. It has easily been 40 minutes since Hyunjin had made his bed for you and wished you goodnight, and you couldn't stop thinking of just how you ended up in this situation.

You only meant to get a picture with your favorite K-pop group- nothing more nothing less. It's what you had paid for, at least. Never in your life would you have imagined this is where you would be at the end of the night. In Hwang Hyunjins bed. The sheets smelled of him, the silk holding onto both his natural scent and traces of his expensive cologne. Honestly it was quite sobering, your buzz fading by the minute.

As if his ears were ringing, the bedroom door slowly creaks open to reveal Hyunjin, peeking in curiously. The only light in the room was the soft glow of the moon shining through his window. It was just enough for him to be able to make out your still figure in his bed.

"Pssst" his voice was a whisper, "are you awake?" He didn't want to wake you if you were sleeping so he kept his tone low.

"Yeah." You whispered back, equally as soft. "Are you ok?"

He shuffled close to you in the room, "Uh yeah, it's just that.. the couch is really uncomfortable."

"Oh, uh" You stammed, "I can go to the couch so you can have your bed back."

You went to remove yourself from his bed but he stopped you, his hand finding your shoulder to keep you in place, "Well I was thinking, if you didn't mind, I could just stay in here with you."

You blinked in surprise, contemplating it for a moment. He wasn't slurring his speech anymore so you knew his tipsiness was wearing off. " I guess that would be ok." You slowly scooted further into the bed, giving him space to climb under the covers with you.

He situated himself under the warm blankets and turned his body to face you. Now you were both looking at each other through the dim light.

"I do appreciate you coming and hanging out with us tonight." He breathed out, breaching the silence.

You balked, "Are you kidding? You brought me into your home, and now you're letting me in your bed! This whole night has been incredible, really. I should be the one thanking you." You said in a hushed tone, fighting back the urge to word vomit your appreciation.

Hyunjin chucked, "No need to thank me." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, gathering his nerves. "If I'm being honest, something about you had immediately caught my attention the second you walked backstage to meet us. You were so... Captivating. And sweet. Those little Skzoo minis you made for us are so cute and I can tell you took your time to make them for us. I knew I wanted to know you more." He reached for your hand in the dark and you tentatively let him grab it and laced your fingers together.

Your face was burning hot at his confession. Honestly you were at a loss for words. You hadn't considered yourself special in anyway. Sweet- maybe. But captivating? Never. It was a whirlwind of emotions. You didn't doubt that he was speaking his truth, more so your heart didn't want to believe it.

As if sensing your inner turmoil he gave you a shy grin to ease your mind, "I understand if you don't feel the same. I know it's crazy to spring that kind of thing on someone you just met."

"No its not that!" You protested louder than intended, before sheepishly lowering your voice back to a whisper. " This is all very surreal to me, right now. This isn't how I imagined my night would be, but I am so glad it did. I really liked getting to know you guys, especially you... Who may or may not be my bias." You hid your eyes behind your hand.

You tried to tug your other hand from his grasp but he held on, tighter now after your confession.

"Oh, I'm your bias, huh?" You could hear the smirk on his face as his confidence grew exponentially. You turned your head at buried it into the pillow, unable to meet his gaze.

"Don't be mean." you mumbled.

"I would never dream of being mean to you, sweetheart. You're the one who can't even look at your bias. So really you're the mean one here, angel."

You took a peek at him to see his signature pout gracing his features, the dumpling shape of his lips making you want to bite them.

"You're lucky you're pretty" You huffed, feeling his other hand reach for your waist and pull you closer. You held back a squeal at his action.

"You think I'm pretty?" He abandoned his pout for a boyish grin.

"Mhm" you responded, so quietly he almost missed it.

"Well, between you and me, angel," He leaned in closer to your face, eyes flickering back and forth between your lips and eyes, "I think you're prettier."

The singer left you room to deny his advances, but when you made no move to get away he gently pressed his soft lips against your own. You felt your eyes close on impact, and sighed into him as he swept his tongue along your bottom lip, asking for entrance. Once you parted for him and allowed him entry into your mouth he let out a low moan; the sound coming from somewhere in the back of his throat.

You fisted his shirt when he let go of your hand, instead his found purchase cupping your cheeks as he deepened the kiss even further. His body pressed as close to you as he could get, letting himself get drunk on your taste as he sobered from the alcohol.

You whimpered when he wedged one of his thighs between yours, the strong muscle creating a friction on your clothes center.

"Mm I liked that sound. I wanna hear you sing more pretty melodies for me, angel." He retracted his lips from yours, choosing to instead pepper smooches down your neck. He ground his thigh into you, eliciting another whimper.

Hyunjin sucked a mark onto your flesh, the extra stimulation causing you to buck your hips, seeking more. "Hyuuunnee"

"That's it baby, ride my thigh. Fuck, I can feel you soaking through both of our clothes, angel." He really means his clothes, as he had given you a pair of sleep shorts to wear. He sped up his movements, the grinding getting harsher against your core.

Your clit was rubbing so deliciously against your panties, and you definitely knew with how much you were dripping for him that he was telling the truth. You couldn't believe how worked up you were getting, already on the verge of cumming and you hadn't even been really touched yet.

His hand traveled down to the hem of your shirt, and he pushed it up to reveal your braless chest. He let out a groan of his own at the sight. "You not wear a bra for me, angel? Being a naughty girl?"

You moaned when he latched his mouth onto the skin of your tit, "Mmmmm, no Hyun. Jus' can't sleep in it." one of your hands found his hair.

"I don't think that's true, angel." He said it between nips to your flesh, "I think you wanted me to come in here and ravish you." He nipped particularly hard and you gasped. "Bet you were laying here, soaking in your panties waiting for me, huh?" He switched to your other breast.

Your panting was getting harsher, getting closer and closer to cumming on his thigh. "Hyune, m' gonna..gonna..."

"Gonna cum, pretty girl? Gonna make a mess for me, hmm?" You nodded as best you could, "Go ahead, angel. Hyun's got you." At his permission you let go, a soft cry escaping you as you shook against him. The whole time he kept steady in his grinding, working you through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're even prettier when you cum, oh my god. Prettier than a painting."

When the shocks of pleasure faded into over stimulation you tried to give him a light push to signal him to stop. He took the hint and slowly ended his grinding. Your breathing was heavy and your pupils were blown wide, the sight enough for him to crave you even more if that was possible.

Keeping eye contact with you, he gingerly reached into the front of your (his) shorts, his long fingers finding your dripping wetness and collecting some of it onto the pads of his fingers. You bleated a moan at the contact of him sweeping through your wet folds.

You almost came again when Hyunjin removed his fingers from your pussy and brought the shiny digits up to his mouth. He groaned and his eyes rolled to the back of his head when he sucked your essence off his skin.

"Fuck angel, you really are sweet." He was quick to flip you onto your back, causing you to squeal. "Gotta be quiet, sweet girl." He scooted down your body, pulling your bottoms and panties down with him. "Can't have the boys coming in here while I'm eating my new favorite treat, right angel?"

A/n: Yesssss I know its not full smut, but honestly i liked the it this way. i think it fits better :) I hope you enjoy please let me know if you did

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

©doitforbangchan

[imtrashraccoon]

Congrats on the double digits! May I request a DONT imagine with Lord nightmare and baggs with gender neutral y/n?👉🏼👈🏼

Thank you! Of course you may! However, first things first, in The Nightmare of Apathy these two can't stand each other, mostly thanks to clashing egos, but we're going to pretend they don't mind sharing for this.

Don't imagine being at your lowest point in life when a skeleton covered in black goop appears and offers you a new purpose. How he seems to know just the right things to say in order to convince you. How you can sense an ominous aura about him but can't bring yourself to care. How you agree without much of a struggle to serve him.

Don't imagine how he brings you back to his castle and explains that your new purpose is to spread negativity throughout the multiverse. How it takes a few missions to figure out what he means by this. How you soon throw yourself into the thick of it and follow every order without question.

Don't imagine meeting another skeleton after becoming badly injured during one of these missions. How he cares for you and how he nurses you back to health. How you come to learn that he serves as the doctor for the team. How he seems to almost immediately take a liking to you over all the others.

Don't imagine how you start to notice your boss paying more attention to you after you've recovered. How there seems to be some unspoken tension between the two skeletons for a while. How you get the sense that they both like you but neither seem willing to confess at the moment.

Don't imagine how Nightmare seems to be keeping an especially close eye socket on you during missions. How he's quick to pull you out of danger and how he keeps you from becoming injured like before. How whenever anyone touches you, he gives them an icy glare and tries to keep you to himself. How he starts randomly giving you thoughtful or expensive gifts that he knows you'd like.

Don't imagine how Baggs takes time out of his busy schedule to greet you everytime you return from a mission. How he fusses over you and does his best to heal any injuries you do sustain. How he's all too willing to drop everything just to spend time with you. How he seems to brighten up whenever you walk in the room and how he looks at you as if you're the best thing in the world.

Don't imagine when they happen to end up in the same room as you. How they share a knowing glance. How they naturally migrate closer until they're both sitting right next to you.

Don't imagine how Nightmare subtly wraps his tentacles around your hand and arm. How he doesn't acknowledge this and seems more interested in his book. How Baggs slips his arm behind your back and rests his skull on your shoulder. How he gives you a sleepy smile and takes a peek at what you're doing.

Don't imagine how domestic this moment feels. How you reciprocate by holding onto Nightmare's tendrils and wrap your other arm around Baggs. Definitely don't imagine how they both stiffen up before relaxing against you. How Nightmare gives you a small smile and squeezes your hand. How Baggs hums softly and nuzzles into your neck. How this feels just right somehow.

First, Previous, & Next Request

[acourtofthought]

Sorry but saying Nesta had been ignoring Elain is a wild take because as far as the story goes, both Elain and Nesta just drifted apart since they coped differently. second there’s this take from the E/riel side that absolutely loathes the idea of Nyx calling Emerie and Gwyn "aunt" which ykw?fair, even though that whole "aunt Emerie and aunt Gwyn" thing is probably just a silly post from 2-3 people or because they might end up with IC members. And this feels like that.

I don’t think we’ll get much of Gwyn and Nyx interacting in a meaningful way in a Gwynriel book, but if we do it should be fine. If gwynriel is canon Gwyn will be his aunt too right? And I dont even like Gwyn but why are we even gatekeeping a fictional baby’s interactions in this fandom? For all we know Elain has changed Nyx’s diapers daily and has already bonded with him in her garden.I keep seeing you everywhere defending Elain just because people don’t see her the way you want them to even when it’s not even an anti post. Can Elain stans everywhere chill? You all really need to take a deep breath sometimes. don’t worry I’ll block you after this shouldve done it earlier.

Canon disagrees with you.

“She said she didn’t want to come to anything. Ever.”

“She just said … She said that we have our lives, and she has hers.”

Feyre’s eyes gleamed. “You think I don’t know why you’ve pushed even Elain away?”

The last time she’d seen Elain—a week before she’d come to the House. She’d passed her sister in the bustling market square they called the Palace of Bone and Salt, and though Elain had halted, no doubt intending to speak to her, Nesta had kept walking. Hadn’t looked back before vanishing into the throng.

Also, I'm allowed to have an opinion of my own without being told I need to chill or being accused of e/riel behavior. There are many e/riels who claim Gwyn can't have a book because she's just a side character which Gwynriels hate but then many Gwynriels will claim Elain isn't developed enough to be a main character. And now as an Elucien I'm saying I think Elain's story happening before Gwyn's makes the most sense to me while acknowledging Sarah might think differently yet that's a problem? It sounds like you can't handle a difference in opinion and only permit e/riel behavior so long as it happens within your preferred ship.

I'm not gatekeeping a baby, I'm simply pointing out that it would make more sense to me to get the next book from Elain's pov because of her relationship to Feyre and her nephew. It would make more sense for me to see the sisters overcome their issues before there's a new person introduced into the IC and the focus is on that newly formed relationship instead of Elain because Gwyn will become important to Az's friends and family if she's going to be his mate. Feyre focusing on Nesta then just ignoring Elain for another book after she acknowledged she was still struggling would seem out of character for her.

I know so many respectful Gwynriels so this is not pointing fingers at any of them but there are a few takes in the fandom that have been extremely disrespectful to Elucien's. "Gwyn is way more developed than Elain.""Gwyn is way more interesting than Elain will ever be.""Gwyn is ready for a book but Elain isn't". Because there are some Gwynriels who are also Elucien's but hate Elain and it's not hard to tell and if you like Gwynriel but love Elucien, it's difficult to avoid seeing those posts. But the second an Elucien makes a post that suggests maybe Elain's story makes a little more sense (to them) before Gwyn's, the pitchforks come out and we're accused of babying Elain 😂. We are allowed to love the characters in our ship and see the setup for the possibility of them being next just like many Gwynriels and e/riels do every day. We are allowed to have ideas on why they're next, just like others.

It's a double standard as Elucien's who love Elain often have to sit and watch Elain slander or those who downplay Elain's character and growth from some even though Elain went from where she was in the cabin to kicking the hounds and saving Briar, stabbing the king, going out on her own in Velaris, offering to help with the Trove when Nesta didn't want to, saying she'd try to figure out her own powers, and heading to the Hewn City (a place that bothers her) to show her willingness to be part of things.

But god forbid I say I'd like to see Elain's pov and her feelings on her sister / nephew after the events of SF before Gwyn's and that makes me deserving of an anon. God forbid I write a post on why Elain having the next pov makes sense to me though that's all Elucien's have seen from many other ships over the past few years (that someone else should / will have a book first), while some also use the Elucien tag for it. Literally the post will be "Az is getting the next book" and Elucien is used in the tags. Elucien's are allowed to have their reasons for hoping Elucien is next, same as everyone else but we don't go out of our way to tag Gwynriel while doing it because we respect that our Gwynriel friends do not agree therefore we keep their tag clean.

It's weird that you're accusing me of defending Elain against those who don't see her the way I do while you're in my anons hiding all because someone had a different take on Nesta and Gwyn than you do. While I only used Elain and Lucien tags.

And you're not an airplane, you don't need to announce your departure. The block button does not require spoken words.

[syscest]

system[?] here. i guess? idk, this is just a confession and maybe asking for advice if there is any for something like this. i struggle a lot with singletmoding when depression and dysphoria gets bad, and it has been bad a lot lately. like months. and its hard because im basically just fragments anyways, nothing super distinct. and i dont have a headspace, or voices. so i dont know what to do to make myself feel more plural. sometimes a really distinct headmate comes to front and it feels like something but most of the time it feels like nothing and i miss plurality. but its not easy. idk if theres any advice because so much of it focuses on having a headspace or looking inward or creating a headspace etc etc but when we had tried that before it made the host at the time go dormant due to stress and we still didnt get like a headspace out of it. idk. you dont have to post this, im sorry.

shhhhh anon - so, for the record our system:

doesn't have a headspace or any sense of spatialness related to fronts/switching

doesn't have internal dialogue. we can't write notes either, our brain rejects it

doesn't have a memory split / gaps between headmates - switches are just a slight shift we help happen

tends to hold fronts for days at a time, but finds that fronts often "fade out" into mush after a while, the vividness goes away and it gets kinda generic feeling

and my main sentiment is. don't force it. these quieter types of systemhood are about connecting with yourself/ves, they're about curiosity. they're about exploration and finding new ways to express yourself/ves. and they're all about really small things instead of really big things.

We usually wouldn't offer such specific advice to a specific ask, because we hate prescribing the way systems should be - but this is our personal thought process for when we've masked ourself into a hole and forgotten what we're even capable of experiencing.

So, think of a chime, or a pond - if it's thrashed, it's an unclear mess well after you stop, but if you touch it while it's still, that input resonates, and what you put in slowly comes back to your ears and eyes. Systems often have this "reflective" quality, I think - which means reconnecting with your system often means looking for things you put in to it.

You miss the feeling of your system. That's a good start - let yourself have that. It kinda sucks but, mull over and genuinely explore that feeling. Then keep your ears open from then and into the week, and you just might feel that feeling that your system misses itself/you back. Have a fondness? Same thing. Something you're wearing would look better if certain fragments were more present? *Think* that - picture it. Look after yourself through looking after your system - see if it looks after you back. Feel for that little "delay" between when you feel a feeling, and it comes back to being felt about you.

And hey, even if that doesn't mean "switching and fronts" like you want it to, maybe it'll feel good anyway.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Comfort!Wanderer x Female Reader

Tw: Hints of depression. If you don't know scaras backstory ur gonna get spoiled.

Ft: Teasing,f/ngering, Riding, Scara praises u, aftercare?,he calls you a good girl

Wordcount: 1.77k

CW: Minors do not interact past the cut! This is a NSFW post

ScaraMasterlist

Before you two go on another outing, 'Hat guy' reluctantly asked nahida for help on another one of his gifts to give you...

"Remember hat guy! if anything happens ring the safety bell, okay? And keep in touch while im at vanarana. I want to make sure you two have an awesome time!" The small archon tippy toed, while 'hatguy' leaned down as she tied the trinket to his feathered ornament. "Tsk- Buer, im far from a child. I dont need anyone to hold my hand like one." Nahida looked up at the puppet, "Really? you never mind ms Y/N holding your hand though." He diverted his gaze and mumbled to himself. "See? I knew you'd like it. Oh right! your gift!"

Hat guy fixed his posture, "Here! Make sure you give this to ms y/n." In her hand was a book of photos she put together for him with little stickers of slimes and aranara with smiley faces, handing it to hatguy as he took his time with each page and noticing the many 'new' pictures, some being ones he didn't give to the lessor lord. "Your a stalker now too? I guess reading minds isnt enough for you." Ignoring his comment buer took out another book. One titled 'Nahida's sumeru travel guide' with a cover drawing of a purple cat barely paying attention to the light green cat. "Do you have to insist on making everything look like a coloring book..." Nahida didnt reply, mearling looking away and humming a tune similar to the aranara while he began his walk to the park.

Whenever you two would hang out together it was in the library within the akedemiya or anywhere he chose. Sometimes as you held his hand walking through the peaceful park your mind would fill the silence in the worst ways possible as he stared at your now frowning expression. "I dont know Kuni, is the akedemiya even worth it anymore? Theirs people smarter than me there anyway." Kuni stopped in his tracks. "But isnt the whole point of the akedemiya just to major in a 'hobby' you like?." he raised an eyebrow. "Well..i guess..but..Theirs obviously people better than me at it." "Id disagree. Besides their Irrelevant. Shouldn't you just do it and have fun. Huh.. I thought thats what hobby's we're. Something for idle bodies to enjoy." You sighed at his response and sat on the bench. "Its not that simple kuni, I have to get a job and- my family what if i have to provide for them too. Ontop of that there really unfair. Why am i putting my heart into this just for it to be a flop." 'A flop?' At your wording he was brought back to his association with the kaedehara clan. Every now and then he'd overhear niwa talking with others over its upending struggles due to the rise of his mothers sword art. Spreading around inazuma like wildfire and Leaving the clan to struggle in its contribution to the arts. But only in a matter of time kuni was able to 'eat' and drink his favorite tea with them in celebration of their success. We're all the struggles just the divine tricks to see who is worthy? was a god playing tricks on you? 'It couldnt be like that..' Kuni put his gift on the bench, and held your hand while sitting with you

"Maybe im overthinking kuni..I-i just dont know.." It pained him to just look at you like this. Tired. Just so tired mentally and physically, tears dreaning down your eyes as you measly sat on the bench. You began to get up, Remembering your responsibilities. "Its fine kuni, you know- maybe I just need some rest! at home!" 'she said that before' He held your hand, uncomfortably tight. His mind always thought to the worst and he never wanted to loose you because of it. Often getting angry at himself for assuming you'd do such a thing..or likewise to what he did. But this time, He just couldnt let go. Was he scared? As much as you implied, you'd never do such things It always rang in the back of his mechanical ears. If only he was still a harbinger, He would've did everything in his power more then he could now to get you the stable income or whatever humans would need in any region or place in teyvat you wanted. Just say the word and he would've done it regardless of her 'excellency' but he couldnt now, all he could do was use this 'curse' which he called emotions to help understand you. "Kuni-...Please let me go....Im alright." you sniffled. He immediately noticed your change in tone. It was soothing just how you always talked to him yet he still felt wary.

With a few more tugs it felt as if his grip only tighter the more you tugged. In defeat, you brokenly sighed and sat back next to the puppet. A part of him was irked at your own confusion. But he never once regretted trying to comfort you through it when, and when you didnt ask. Even awaiting you at your home before you messaged him. It felt as if you sat in the park for hours within cold silence as your throat and chest burned trying making out words but every attempt was cut off by insecurity.

You always knew he loved you, but even your black and white reality began looking different colors. You shuttered while looked at him again, meeting eyes and Surprised that his hat was off. Resting on the bench's crook. "How about..I join the akademiya with you?" you let go of his soft hand, beginning to wipe your eyes until he pulled a green cloth with flowers printed on it out his pants pocket, Damping away your tears as you subtly smiled and sniffled. "I never knew you we're into cute things like this kuni." 'cute?' "Well. You can always rely on this..unique archon of yours to make her presence." you didnt ask any further. "Why do you want to join the akademiya?" "Isnt it obvious? to be with you. and for buer to stop annoying me." he mumbled the last part. "But you dont even have a major or-" "The archives of inazuma can use a rework. I find it ironic how beelz- the raiden shogun is portrayed as some. Beneveloent god, that pursuits eternity." He smirked, Writing a thesis might be one of the most indirect ways he could show up his mother but that had to wait.

You we're more important, and always have been since you entered his life. Kuni noticed his gift. "Oh yeah. Here." he handed you the bag. "Whats in it. More bitter tea for me to try?" he blushed at your answer. "Just open it." you smiled at him again and looked at the pictures in the book. Trying to hold back a laugh at the picture of nahida whacking him uptop his head for god knows what. He looked at the picture, intrigued on why you we're laughing. 'buer you had one fucking job-' then back at you again. "No need to thank me- i-" cutting him off, you kissed kuni on his cheek "I love it kuni." 'his skin is so soft~' you thought. "Then I guess I should thank you too." The puppet shifted closer to you moving the book back in the bag and out of your view behind him. "W-wait kuni- not here we're in a park!" he sucked his teeth and still moved closer to you, sinking his face into your neck as you leaned back "And? thats even better, every person here can know how important you are to me. Got a problem with that?." He began tugging at the buttons on your shirt "Or..Does my baby want to continue this at home? I'll let you choose this time."

----

You fumbled with the keys as you locked the door behind you. Kuni was already tugging onto you. Biting and leaving petals of kisses along your neck. "K-kuni~ slow down.." you moaned. "Shit..Love it when you say my name too. This beautiful body is all mine." you turned around to face him, being greeted by his kimono barely hanging onto his shoulders to cover his lean form behind his turtleneck. "Your staring again…Like what you see y/n? Its all for you." He picked you up, bringing you to your bedroom littered in papers, pens and books on your desk. "huh. Do all scholars have a messy room like this?" He chuckled. "S-shut up.."

Kuni laid you onto the bed, observing your body before trailing his hands down to your pants. Letting out a groan. "God. Your fucking beautiful. How dare you treat yourself like this." He slowly tugged your clothes off. Then rubbed his hands along your thighs, spreading your legs and revealing your wet slit. "You want it gentle baby?" you nodded. Sinking his head inbetween your legs, he began licking on your bud. "Kuni~" "Shh…Relax..for me pet." your thighs twitched at the name. "Oh? you like being called that too…ill- mmm~ remember that" he sunk his tongue inside of you, moaning into you incoherent praise. "f-fuck..you- mmm taste- s' good." you rubbed your hand through his hair. Pressing him farther onto you. Usually you didnt take the lead or have him bottomed out for you like this. But it was your special night, as many we're yours to come. Kuni didnt want to stop for celestia itself to make sure you felt loved just as you made him feel. "Wahnt me to stop baby- you- ah..i know you like it." "N-no kuni~ please dont stop." you said while pressing your thighs closer against his head. "Hah..How about my fingers, want that too?" Kuni licked at his fingers after pulling away from your wet hole with a gasp for air. "Yes master~" his cock twitched in his pants. He knew you wanted it slow but god the urge to take you right then and there. He inserted two of his fingers as your walls clenched, slowly shifting in rhythm of his fingers. "Arent you eager hmm? Already want me inside dont you? Thought you wanted me to be gentle." He smiled, Thrusting his digits faster inside you. "K-kuni!! please.. I- ah..hah.." "Yes baby? what does my good girl want." kuni leaned down to you, wanting to hear your delicious moans. "Inside..Please..want you inside~" "Hah..Theres my pet." The two of you switched positions. Kuni laying his lean body on your bed as you climbed ontop of him, slowly sinking him inside you.

"K-kuni..your so big," "And hah..your so warm..oh shit~." You began moving, bouncing up and down on kuni's length. "Oh god baby..L-look at you, bouncing on master so ah-well.." His praise filled your ears, making your body heat up. You two interlocked hands as you both chased your highs. The sound of skin slapping and your wet moans echo'd around the room. "Yes..Yes y/n- fuck yes. I L- ah.. Love you so fucking much, dont stop. dont stop." He squeezed onto your hand, eyes slightly glowing from his pre sloshing up and down inside you. "Kuni~ m' close..Im gonna- i-" "Thats it- just like that- cum for me~ let me hear those beautiful moans-" From his bittersweet praise you came onto his length, squeezing his hand 'tightly' as he soon came after you, Painting your walls with his warm seed. You collapsed onto his chest, Still inside him and coming down from your high. His chest wasn't rising up and down.. which creeped you out a little but you didnt mind.

The two of you laid in the bed. Mumbling every now and then about earlier as he stroked your hair. "I dont expect you to get well instantly y/n. Thats not how things work." "Yeah..Then i guess id be like some sort of puppet right?" you chuckled while trailing your hand along his chest. "Right.." kuni laid his head back. "What im saying is that you have to try at your own pace to get better. Regardless of everyone, its your life you have to live. And i..hate seeing you dwelling here when I know there's someee things your good at. If you get discouraged, I'll be there for you." "And if your not..?" he sighed at your reply. "That'll be rare. Then Call me and we'll go for another walk if you want. Im sure that childish archon has plenty ideas too."(He thought back to the bell). Some of his advice was stuff you've already heard. Even though it is easier said then done your heart warmed at his ideals. He even wanted to get in the akedemiya just for you, he was willing to do so much. Even if you felt better for a day or made the smallest progress Kuni would be proud.

Thank you for reading and I wish you the best :)

[exanuz]

my mutual, @tangerinelabyrinth, has been curious about exactly how many languages martha might speak. so, during my almost..... year long.......... process of reading the book "story of martha", ive documented what i thought was noteworthy in regards to this topic!

of course, due to the fact this has taken almost a year, there might be some things i missed. ill list the reasoning behind why/why not i think a certain thing, but do take what you see of the canon text over my own label of it

of course, shes canonically spoken german in the show, but thats not relevant to this book, we all already know she speaks german anyways

everything in brackets are quotes taken from the book

for languages she most likely does speak... we have japanese and turkish! the reasoning behind her possibly speaking turkish is pretty simple -- this line: ['coming in now, miss jones,' the pilot radioed, in polite turkish]. basically, she was able to identify someone was speaking in turkish, and understand what it meant. doesnt need more jusitification.

for japanese -- i think the main reason is her being in a japanese labor camp, and being able to understand peoples cries ['were going to die,' he kept mumbling, 'we're all going to die'] obviously, i doubt japanese people, in japan, are going to be crying to themselves in english. or turkish. and, she was meant to have a contact in japan, but they never showed up, so she never had anyone she knew that could help her out if she struggled to understand the language (and, also, i dont think a translator would be translating people randomly talking to themselves and crying over their past life and lost loved ones....), so i believe she does most likely understand the language.

however, one possible --- HIGHLY UNLIKELY --- thing ive had in mind during this period is, "maybe, somehow, due to her perception filter being part of the tardis, it could be translating for her" however, i believe it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY in general, because. do you think the master would be letting that happen? probably not. he likely turned off all the tardis' translation abilities to hinder her as much as he can. but, regardless of that, her perception filter stopped working when she entered japan, so even if that extremely unprobable scenario had been the case, it would not have been so in japan. however.... there were a different set of aliens who had taken control of japan, and set up their own country wide system, so? ??????????? maybe they set up automatic translations akin to the tardis'????? but i still think the most likely situation is just that martha understands japanese. at the very least, she canonically knows the japanese words for a decent amount of colors. [smaller, subsidiary domes, like metal blisters, surrounded the main plants. there were four of them: ao, midori, aka, and kiiro - respectively, blue, green, red, and yellow.], so make of that what you will

now, a language she canonically does not understand! (or, at least, didnt understand!), FRENCH! [pierre said something very gentle in french that the tardis had the sensitivity not to translate] the tardis had been needing to translate french for her -- atleast, before the year that never was, so case closed. while she did end up in france, she had a person travelling with her, so while its possible she could have picked up some french, its likely that she could have also had this guy, matthieu, serving as a translator for her

and now, stuff people probably care for less than "does she explicitly understand this language or does she canonically not": languages she definitely encountered, but we didnt see her encounter, she just mentioned having went to where they were spoken

of course, before i list the three countries and one general area i can remember that she said she went to but we never saw her go, i will remind everyone she could have had a translator temporarily travelling with her, and also, by the point she reached these countries, she had made contact with groups of rebels who were trying to help her, so its possible that they could have taught her a bit about the languages she was going to encounter so shed be a bit better off if she had to be on her own. but theres no canonical reason to think she can or can not speak the languages found in these regions, so just think whatever makes you happy

now, these countries are:

RUSSIA! she got on the ship to take her to japan from a russian port

UKRAINE! she went there

OTHER POST-SOVIET COUNTRIES! she went there

SLOVENIA! she was gonna meet people there

[she'd even ridden a freight train for two hundred miles between labor camps in the ukraine]

[she'd moved through europe and the ex-soviet states to the gateway of the east with the help of the underground]

[five members of the slovenia cell had died getting martha out of ijubljana]

and this is all i have. there might be more "she went to places these other languages were spoken" situations that i havent listed, but either i didnt notice them, forgot, or i assumed a town/city/whatever name was from a different country she did go to... im not very good with geography, sadly

also, she went to france before she made contact with the rebels (the underground being the group name of them)

if you noticed anything from this book i missed, or know any other languages she canonically does/does not speak from other books or official media, feel free to add them!

rough numbers of the pages cited (you may need to go back or forwards a few pages to find certain pieces of information i referenced): 122, 124, 146, 157

[perlapulido]

That's My Girl

Summary: Skylar and Sienna Blake. A pair of completely identical twins with opposite lives moving to Amity Park. They have their life settle in even the ghosts around the city making all kinds of chaos but theres going back when make most of it like everyone else.

Ch2

In the matter of two months Johnny has been finding ways of goin to Amity Park to just to spend time Skylar from talking to riding around on their bikes. They really enjoyed each pothers company whenever Skylar wasnt busy with school or with her sister but theres a problem that was itching Johnny under his skin. HIs girlfriend Kitty. Kitty has been the kind where she has to know what he is up to from the way he was leaving the ghost zone without her. She soon enough couldnt wait any longer and confronted Johnny about but lads to them having a huge fight having Johnny ride away somewhere in the Ghost zone to relax while she left through the Fenton portal. Back in Amity Park on a Saturday after noon Skylar drove Sienna to the mall to meet with her friends seeing them waiting in front of the mall. "You sure you don't need a ride back?" Said Skylar. She got handed the helmet from Sienna after getting off to fix her hair. "I'll be fine and Dash will be taking me." Said Sienna. Skylar hummed before turning off her bike going over to Dash who talking to his friend Kwan. "Listen up Baxter. Here's two things to know. One if you hurt my sister. I hurt you. And second you better bring her back on time or ill make you never play football ever again." Said Skylar. "Skylar!" Sienna shouted. "Shut up. You hear me Jockey." Said Skylar. "I hear you." Said Dash. "But I doubt you can try to put your hands on m-" Skylar grabbed his groin in a tight grip making squeak seeing her serious face while twisting it. "Okay! Sorry." Said Dash having Skylar let him go. He watched Skylar get on her back with Sienna scolding at her driving away.

Sienna walked with Dash inside with everyone ahead of them going to.the food court. "I am so sorry about Skylar. She's just protective over me and my dad after the divorce." Said Sienna sitting down at he table ith him. "I had that coming. What made your parents divorce if you dont m asking." Said Dash. "My mom has a secret family who she left for when my dad looked through her second phone." Said Sienna. "Thats sucks." Said Dash moving legs slowly. "I'll get you some ice for that." Said Sienna getting to grab a cup of ice.Skylar sped around Amity Park doing some wheelies on a empty parking lot and saw a girl with green hair and a red leather jacket show up out of no where looking mad at her once she stopped. "Can I help you?" Said Skylar taking off her helmet. "You the Skylar that's seeing my Johnny?" Said the girl. "Its not what you think okay. We are just close freinds. I'm so not the type of girl who will be with more than one guy in like my mom." Said Skylar. "Kitty!" Sad Johnny drive over blocking the girl with his bike. "I told you to leave her alone. I'm sorry Skylar. This is my girlfriend Kitty." Said Johnny looking at her. "Look whatever is going on. I want no part of." Said Skylar driving away. "Why are you defending her? She's human. We're ghosts." Said Kitty looking at Johnny. "Kitty. Nothing happened. If you keep this up" "or what break up with me to be with her. How she going react once she finds out?" Said Kitty. She saw Johnny's shadow take off after Skylar having her eyes glow having Johnny kept her from going anywhere wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Let me go." Said Kitty struggling to get out his grip. "Didn't you two fight enough already?" said Danny flying over. "Stay out of it. You seriously cant get so worked over me being friends with a girl like Skylar. She gets me." said Johnny. "Skylar? You two are seriously fighting about her." siad Danny. "Shut up! And I'm not having a human take my man!" Said Kitty. "Well im not your anything anymore. I had it with having fights with you over shit like this. You are so clingy and bossy. Im done. We're done." Said Kohnny making her stop. "Johnny? Please this is a joke right? Right?!" Said Kitty breaking free to face him. "Its not. We both should've seen this coming sooner or later of being together for so long." Said Johnny looking at her sadly. "You two are so going to regret it. Especially with that biker bitch." Said Kitty glaring at him. "Yeah i don't think so." Said Danny sucking Kitty into the thermos and pointed to Johnny but it beeped. "Ghost Thermos full." Said Robot voice. "Oh come on!" Said Danny seeing the screen was red. He then looked up to find Johnny gone and left to empty the thermos with Tucker waiting at his room. "Dude! You won't believe what happened." Said Danny after turning back.

In the parking lot of the movie theatre barely any car around was Sam and Skylar hanging out with their friends. "That was seriously the worst movie ever. Killer Sofa? Are they running out of ideas?" Said a guy with a mohawk with red streaks. "I've better with plot twists like the Malignant and Barbarian." Said Skylar. "Maybe can watch those together some time? Just the two of us." Said the guy looking her way. Shadow growled touching the soda can net to Skylar making it rust for second then back to mortal then heard Johnny calling it. "Are you asking me. Bret?" said Skylar picking up her soda wiping the top clean. "Why not youre the hottest girl ive seen. What do y-" Bret was when sprayed in the face from the soda can that Skylar just opened having her and Sam back off. Johnny grinned at the sight then went down driving over get the the girls attention mostly Skylar while Sam left to grab something for Bret who went to the bathroom to wash the soda off his face. "Can we talk?" said Johnny. "Shoot before Kitty decides to come over." said Skylar. "Shes not my problem anymore okay. We were bond to break up for real anyways." said Johnny. "Oh. Sorry things didnt workout for you two." said Skylar. "I thought she was my girl but i guess i was wrong." Said Johnny. "She never made me feel the way I do when I'm around you. It's different but have you thought about us being more than friends?" He says looking at her rubbing the back of his neck. "If this is your way of telling me that you love me more than your ex then you're a fucking idiot." Said Skylar. "Then I'd be your idiot and there's more that I should've mentioned to you sooner or later." Said Johnny. "Im a ghost." He says waiting for a reaction. "Are you high?" Said Skylar then looked over his shoulder to see Danny flying over. "You shitting me now? Shadow attack!" Said Johnny once he saw him. Shadow flew past them to charge at Danny while Johnny looked at Skylar. "Huh?" Said Skylar then punched his arm. "Ow! I'm not that kind of ghost. I hope this doesnt change things." Said Johnny. "I like you okay. I admit it you dumbass but again I don't trouble with your now ex girlfriend. She looks like that she can more than just scratch." Said Skylar getting on her back to leave. "See you later to tonight for our date then?" Said Johnny looking. "If you kick that ghost twat's ass then maybe." Said Skylar going home with her sister and dad waiting.

[themultifandomgal]

Matt Casey- Fight For Us Pt1 (rewritten)

YN and Matt have been married now for 5 years. They have a little girl together who is the spitting image of YN, but has her dads mannerisms . They love one another, they truly do, but after their best friend Andy Darden died they drifted apart. YN Andy and Severide all went to school together. They've known each other since kindergarten and been best friends since. Matt really struggled with the loss of his Andy, blamed himself for his death, your best friends death, which led to pushing his wife away.

Things have been getting better for the pair and for the first time in 2 months they are finally in a good place again. Of course they're both still dealing with the loss of one of their best friends but they know that together they will get through it.

"I wish you and Kelly would sort out what's going on between you both" I sigh washing up the breakfast bowels while mine and Matts 5 year old daughter is getting ready for school

"Yeah well he's blaming me for Andy's death"

"I know and I'll speak with him, but we were best friends. All wanted to go through the academy together. If it wasn't for my asthma I wouldn't be a paramedic"

"The best paramedic" I pass the bowels to Matt to dry and raise my eyebrows

"Dont change the subject. Look all I'm saying is Kelly is angry, upset, hell we all are, but he needs to blame someone and if it's not you it will be himself. At least you can take it"

"Momma I'm ready" Ella calls from the hallway

"I'm coming" I call back "I'll drop Ella off at school. I'll see you in a bit" I peck Matt on the lips and turn to move, but before I can get to our daughter he pulls me back to him

"We're good aren't we?" he asks looking into my eyes

"Course we are" I give him another kiss then leave the house with Ella.

Almost immediately after I arrive at the firehouse we're on a call, a huge car accident has happened. I run over to one car where there's a little girl inside just a little older than Ella

"Hi sweetie I'm YN. Can you tell me your name?" I ask

"Madeline"

"Ok, listen, Madeline, I want you to see if you can

turn your head toward me" the little girl does as I ask. She has a huge gash on the side of her head. Once the mom is out I jump into the car through the drivers side "hey, your going to be ok"

"It's dumping gas" mouch shouts as the car in front starts to flam. Madeline starts to whimper

"We're ok. Look my partners coming now to help me get you out" Leslie opens up the door and starts to move the little girl out

"Wait. Her jugular" I take out my stethoscope "Muffled heart sounds.It's Becks triad" I give Leslie a worried look as she picks Madeline up

"Come on, sweetie" Leslie puts Madeline in the back of the ambo. I jump in with her while Leslie shuts the doors and speeds towards Med.

Thankfully we get her to the hospital in time.

"Was the little girl ok?" Ella asks

"Yes luckily she was"

"My momma and daddy are superhero's" this makes me chuckle. I glance at her in the mirror, she's sat in her car seat swinging her feet with a huge smile on her face. I pull up the the fire house when Ella asks "will grandpa be here?"

"Yes angel he will" I reply turning the car off and jumping out. I open up the car door and help her out of her seat

"And daddy?"

"Yes and daddy and uncle Kelly"

"Daddy and uncle Kelly don't like each other any more. Why?" Ella asks taking my hand in hers as we walk past the trucks

"They do like each other, it's just their jobs make it a little harder to be friends. Remember Kelly was my best friend before I met daddy"

"And uncle Andy" she stops and points to a picture we now have up of him. I lift her up into my arms

"Yes and uncle Andy"

"I miss him momma"

"I know, so do I. And. So does uncle Kelly and daddy. Which is why they are having a little argument now" I place a kiss on her forehead when I hear a familiar voice

"YN you best hurry up, Casey's cooking" Severide says smiling with hands on his hips

"Uncle Kelly!" Ella practically jumps out of my arms and into her godfathers arms

"You hungry little one?"

"Yes! Momma can we have some food?"

"Yes angle. Course we can" I follow behind Severide and see Matt behind the kitchen counters. Dad, also known as chief Boden gets up from the table and walks over to me giving me a hug "hi dad"

"I'll bring a plate over for you and one for Ella" Matt says to me grabbing 3 plates. Severide places Ella down and she runs holding my dads hands to sit next to him. I then watch the awkward interaction between Severide and my husband. Not only is Matt blaming himself for Andy's death, but so is my best friend. I look over at my dad for some guidance, but he just sighs and gives me a small smile

"I bet uncle Andy would have wanted us to all be friends" the room falls silent. Trust the child to make everyone uncomfortable. I watch as Severide takes an orange and walk out of the room "momma did I upset uncle Kelly"

"No angel. He'll be ok"

Later that evening were called out during the night to a building fire. Matt and Herrmann both are knocked out during their search but thankfully Kelly manages to get them both out with the help of the others. So the rest of our shift was spent in the emergency room waiting to hear how Herrmann is doing since he was worse off.

[five--losers]

Canon Divergence you say?

Copied from discord:

i never told yall the full story of the demon war

So after the first game like this is gonna be a lot After theyve all decided to live with Mika, a lot of time passes and things are fine, until one day they aren't and in the night this wave of MAD huge magic just YOINKS the boys back to the demon world, and as they're being freddy kreuger'd into the floor theyre like DONT COME AFTER US THIS IS DAD Mika of couse says I'm Going After Them and suzu and Naomi are like we're coming too! and Mika says the fuck you are you're just human and they say Bitch So Are You and then Andrew's like hey guys I have a bible from the pope can I come It takes a lot of arguing but eventually yes everyone can come Andrew prays first and asks for anything to help from the Lord to save his bf and his Guardian Angel comes down and says Here's a Necklace with a Cross and I'll come if you call, its complicated babe dont ask Mika isn't experienced with this magic yet and she tears open the portal and they all get flung across the demon world

Mika gets flung into the Abyssal Kingdom, Suzu gets flung into a devil rebellion camp, Naomi gets flung onto Diana's doorstep, and Andrew gets flung into an unassuming demon village they all have storylines Naomi is trained by Diana on how to use Sam's physical strength - a gift from him when they got together in a talisman - without hurting herself. And she becomes a shieldmaiden Suzu is trained by the devil rebellion, led by Eris, and they wind up kinda will-they-wont-theying Andrew is trying to find everyone else while protecting innocents with gods magic, but its holy and all demons are harmed by holy magic so how do you protect when you can only hurt people?? Mika... finds Malix in a cornfield

he's been crucified after he failed to bring back the boys in SM 1 Malix says hey girlie get me down from here and ill help you get the backstreet boys back alright mika doesn't trust him, but she has no choice, so she lets him down and he's good for it! he has to be. They made a Pact. and if you break a pact you die So they start running all undercover-like... and then this incident happens at the Dark Lake where Mika nearly dies and Malix has to save her ass... But they break at the devil compound in the outskirts of the Desolate Wastelands and its here where Mika learns that OH. Devils ARENT evil. they're just... people. And she starts questioning a whole lot of shit the boys have told her over the years of knowing them she ends the Pact, declaring it fulfilled, and tells Malix he's free and she's gonna go after the boys on her own as she should have from the get-go Malix is like :U U: frfr??

Mika enters the Abyssal Kingdom and allows herself to be caught, because she needs to get as close to them as she can and she knows theyre in the castle What she doesn't count on is the DL has heard about this human and takes extra care with her ((And does some serious SA because he wouldn't be the DL we know and love if he didn't SA a woman under him)) The boys know it happens too because of course he brags about it DL is done being a nice dad, the boys are in chains and pillorys he tells them that the more they struggle the worse things will be for their people and he means it. They all know he means it in different ways And he says to prove they have nothing to go back hoem to, that all of this is pointless, he's going to start by killing the one thing they seem to think is worth fighting for And he summons Mika to be brought out into the throne room for culling but the guards don't show He looks over his shoulder The massive door is open, where tf are his demon guards? Mika steps from the shadows, mouth full of blood from having her tongue ripped out and thighs covered in blood and two heads in her hands she tosses them at DL's feet, then does something that REALLY shocks him: She summons a magic he has never seen before And regrows her tongue Its painful, its sick, and it works Now, DL is still a charismatic demon. and he knows an opportunity when he sees it So he makes his case. She's more powerful than he had given her credit for. More promising. Perhaps we can help one another. You want these boys? Take them. I've no need for them. But stay here. all of you, here with me. I'll make you my grand Mage I can provide you with all the resources you'd ever need, all the reagents and blood, all the understudies to do your menial work. And you can have all five of my sires. Quite the deal But Mika knows better She frees the boys with one fell swoop and knocks the Demon Lord aside, blasting through the stone walls of a centuries old kingdom and they all RUN. So does the Demon Lord. Quite angry, mind you. and he's faster than them theyve all been locked away. their legs are sore and tired. They can't outrun him Which is how Malix finds them when he bails them out

That whole wing collapses with DL in it, not dead but definitely not able to follow, and Mika pulls Malix up before they can fall And they escape to the resistance compound. Diana has been moving in. Mika's sighting has been seen as a sign But the boys.... what on earth is Malix doing here? That Devil?? Mika shuts that shit down. You five have explaining to do and it will Not be at this man's expense But--! OUT. Tents are erected. The boys need healing at the triage tents so thats where they're relegated to for now Mika gives them a thorough earful But for now its important they heal. Andrew and Naomi and Suzu have been found They help share the load

A battle is on the horizon. Mika asks Malix if the Devils will help. He says he can't say. Duuyex is still a fresh Big Brother, its hard to tell how he'll swing

The devils have every right to not help all things considered Diana doesn't fault them But they gear up for a battle for the ages because the DL is rallying his troops like its end times

Mind you, these are our fighters: James, the crown Prince with a tri-tone bleat that can kill through brain melting and aim that can pin a fly to a tree from miles away Erik, a Life-Weaver who is capable of growing an entire forest in minutes, alongside deadly carnivorous plants that can and will eviscerate large prey Sam, the final manifester of the Ancestral Demon, the deadliest creature in the demon world Matthew, the Black Tarantula in secret, and capable of creating life And Damien, patron of one of the last Old Gods, Dark Matter, the only creature capable of taking on the Demon Lord one on one

The details of this battle are a blur but it is known that the Demon Lord was able to take control of Sam using the Ancestor to his advantage and gaining and upper hand at one key point but the Ancestor was given pause by a shieldmaiden who somehow parried his blows and managed to shake his disposition with her voice alone It is known that when things were looking sour, a hoard of demonic horses rained down from the mountains in a wave of stampedes, with devils riding them

Who struck the final blow is often debated but Dark Matter intervened It called upon Damien, demanding the final payment. It was ready to take the Demon Lord to his final reckoning and it manifests through Damien as a horror the Demon Lord is sucked into oblivion, and damien does not emerge from the viscera

Mika mourns, wails to the hells below his brothers cry for him, their youngest and beloved brother until an appearance is made by the Devil Princes themselves who are... celebrating like theyve been watching football apparently this was the best thing theyve seen in ages fuck that DL guy they never wanted demons to have free will in the first place Mika says hey, if theyre done being dads for a moment, can she ask for a favor? They go only if she does the usual pact stuff. Unwavering worship and loyalty and all that She says yes! Fine! just, bring back Damien yeah sure

poof

hey guys

holy shit

back to the battle field with all yall

wait what

POOF

the battles over and everyone important survived Ezaeur is now the Queen of the Abyssal Plains. or what's left of it and her own kingdom the Devils, free of their oppressor, have the time to rebuild. It's not going to be easy as their numbers are dwindled, but with Duuyex things are looking okay

Mika returns home, with all her boys theres trauma to unravel, there's wounds to lick, and theres apologies for kicking off the revolution and bouncing...

... but things are set to be okay.

Which brings us to where we are now.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey tumblr! hot tip!!! if you see people criticizing your fav actor/creator/celeb etc for a lack of support for Palestine and want to get big mad abt it:

ask yourself, deeply and truly, why this makes you angry. really. why does that make you angry? look in the mirror and ask yourself why.

Don't pull out the following terms: "keyboard warrior", "what have YOU done lately besides be high and mighty on the internet?", "double standards", "this is The Internet(tm) Of Course Words Matter More Than Actions", etc. because uh

NEWSFLASH DIP SHITS

THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO MAY HAVE

JUST POSSIBLY

DONE THINGS FOR THE MOVEMENT THAT COULD GET THEM IN LEGAL TROUBLE IF ADMITTED

HELD OFF POLICE AT COLLEGE ENCAMPMENTS

STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT TO HOLD SPACE

GONE WITHOUT FOOD SO THEY COULD AFFORD TO DONATE

GONE WITHOUT CHORES/OTHER NECCESARY TASKS TO MAKE TIME FOR PROTESTS

*SEEN THEIR FRIENDS DRAGGED AWAY BY RIOT POLICE*

*WITHIN THE PAST TWO WEEKS*

WAITED FOR THEIR FRIENDS TO GET BACK FROM FUCKING JAIL

AND STILL KEPT SHOWING UP.

UNTIL THEY WORKED THEMSELVES TO ILLNESS.

you dont know who I am. you don't know what I'm doing. at the same goes for anyone and everyone on this site. sure, maybe they're the soyjak sjw you're picturing, marinating in sweat and dorito crumbs while they sip boba surrounded by plushies and obscure pride flags, wallowing in self-centered hypocrisy

or maybe they're not. maybe they shaved all their hair off because they had too much on-camera recognition and feared being followed home by cops, like had happened to their peers.

maybe they've been manhandled and shoved by security and police recently.

maybe they're endangering the scholarships that are their only reason to live rather than stay silent on their college's ties to the military-industrial complex.

maybe they lie to their parents and family friends and ANY older friends about where they are in the evening because they know that the truth could destroy those relationships

maybe they're Jewish and struggling to understand how their community can be so unable to see the reality of the situation

I'm not saying I'm doing The Most Ever, or even that I'm doing a lot. I'm not, not by my community's standards, not in comparison to my friends and peers, and especially not currently as im dealing with finals. I'm just showing up and doing what I can, even though it isnt much.

and I'm not going to assume that anyone saying this bs ALSO isnt doing anything for the movement

maybe you are! if so, thats great!

but fucking think before you speak because you have literally no idea who you're talking to or what their life is like. even if you're doing The Most Bestest Possible Ever for the movement rn, online and off 24/7

you have no right to pass judgement based on what you ASSUME about a stranger.

you have no right and no reason to think that anyone who "complains" online is thus inactive irl, in fact that makes literally no sense.

if you're really about genuine activism and radical action and support of this movement. why are you being a dick to people for speaking out?

and if you're not. if you just think that we're a bunch of whiny hypocrites looking for a reason to get on your high horse....

then man you are just a waste of life im sry idk what to tell u. get off tumblr, do some research, change yourself. "get better soon bestie" or something idk i dont even have words for that kinda brainlessness.

I'm just saying, I don't think the cops, or the president of my university, or the security and event staff at (REDACTED) would call me a "keyboard warrior" lmaoooooo

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

get up cocksuckers were personalposting on main !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can literally and viscerally feel the end of my relationship coming??????????????????????????????????? and like,,,,,,,,,i knew it obviously bc we're young and were pretty different but DAMN i did not think it would Hurt like this bc it never has bc i never emotionally attach myself (to romantic relationships specifically on purpose!!!!!!!!! like jesus christ we should be similar on paper but no !!!!!!!! our senses of humor are completely different and that is the only way i know how to connect with people !!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck am i supposed to do????????? and theyre always telling me i shoulld probably get a therapist, or get medication, etc etc and !!!! i cannot do those things!! i have tried!!!!!!! but i dont want to say that to them bc their last (really really shitty ex) was the type of person to say things that were obvious cries for help and then brush them off for some sort of attention and i have been repeatedly told that there is nothing i need treatment for by doctors !!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what to do.

also its fair to mention that they are Pretty White and have a very different family dynamic to mine, which, despite being very minimally east asian is still pretty east asian, and also that while both our families are solidly upper middle class they live in a higher income area of our town super close to where the rich rich people live and constantly refer to/make jokes about it being better (not on purpose and i don't think they get why it bothers me a little). i dont know how to talk to them about this without sounding like a nepo baby trying to convince the public they were a struggling self-made actor. and ofc if it falls apart itll probably be my fault bc i dont know how to talk to them about things that bother me bc i dont want to be like their shitty and weird and creepy ex (who is in one of my classes and is constantly trying to make eye contact with me and tried to get my number as well).

i like them a lot, and also crushed super bad on them for 6 months before we started dating and two years ago when i met them i sort of liked them aswell, but more and more im realizing that i dont even know if i wanted to be with them or just be them -> be whiter (i have JOURNALED about this!!!!!!!!!!!!) especially when i realize that were different in too many ways and also that i dont know how to be emotionally vulnerable with them specifically bc of that!!!!!!!! a lot of their friends rn are slightly not stable (or really not stable) and i dont know how to say any of this to them without fucking up their mental state. not to mention that october-december was a really shitty time for them last year and also that i dont want to be the one who ends things because i still really super like them but at the same time sort of resent them for having things i want??????????? but not when im with or near them only when im getting insecure in my rroom which has been happening a lot for some reason!!!!! also two of their very close friends (one is a mutual friend of ours but she's closer to them) are both really weird about us dating at least to me, like the mutual friend lied to me about them not liking me for seemingly no reason right before we got together which significantly delayed it and the other.......i dont even know she jsut always gives me weird looks whenever she sees me and whenever i take the bus with them they sit together and she locks me out of the conversation. i also dont know her very well, so idk.

plus my partner has a weird habit of not engaging with me at all whatsoever (as in having a conversation with another person while also sitting fairly far away from me or not talking to me at all annd staring at their phone) but then being annoyed when i dont try to join to conversation or engage with them. its also fair to note that they are allistic and tbh as someone with a lot of adhd/autistic tendencies (i sort of Suspect myself of audhd but i can never be sure) it actually affects the relationship for me which is insane bc usually i dont Feel it like that. like im fairly certain i mask ??????/ (again no clear diagnosis other than family history of being undiagnosed w/ something) and while i dont mask around my close friends i do still mask, even if its not as heavily, around my partner, who ive known longer than some of those friends. the only time i wasn't masking in some sort of way while we were dating was a day when i was so drained i also ended up sleeping on their couch for like thirty minutes bc i could barely stay awake. i just dont know what to do. in the past ive usually been the person more innvested or into the relationship and i can almost feel that happening again and i dont know why or how.

anyway no pressure t9o reply or annythhing to tthis i just nneeded to get this out into the air

[afamilyofcreatures]

Achievent Unlocked

Achievent Unlocked: get somebody broke

this might read as a rant. it's mainly to process it

We stayed at somebody elses for the past ~2 weeks

It was difficult at times as they are (or were) attracted to us in some way, while we didnt have that attraction to them (maybe to the idea of them)

Now we are very much our own people and work differently from how most people are used to

We have low boundaries very easily and if we stay at somebodies place then things that arent locked away or we can clearly see as a personal item will potentially be used by us, as we dont see any reason of why they shouldnt be shared (bonus points if your flat is tidy, then we can put it to where it belongs after use and clean if needed, but that doesnt happen if the place is a mess and us not knowing where to put it, which might end in it just lying where we used it and then potentially also not cleaning, as we would need the space freed to do so)

That we just use things isnt the first time that somebody didnt like it, but that somebody actually "burns" through their money for us... that's a first

And we never even asked for that to happen

They invited us to restaurants very often, which we thought was because they prefered eating out (while we actually prefer homecooked meals to most restaurants)

They now said that they didnt know what to cook for us as we are "special" in our diet

Special? we're vegan, and avoid sugars if possible. that's not very hard to cook for unless you never tried and just listen to omnivores saying that cooking vegan is oh so difficult

So homecooking ended up mostly beeing done by us and it was fine for us, as we cook when we feel the need to do so

They also didnt complain about our cooking, so our expectation is that they were fine with it

Even including all the restaurants I cant see how it should have been 2k of money

Restaurants (according to our journal 5 times, but some might be missing, so jist gonna round it up to 10 which still shouldnt add up to 1k), groceries (unknown how expensive), some tools (which we didnt want them to buy and also were confused why they did so, but one they apparently wanted to get anyway) (100-200), a few games (<100 bucks) also we managed to somehow kill a mechanical keyboard by cleaning it (a generic, non-custom one)

Oh, just realized that they also got a mattress and blanket for us (and also for themself for some reason) which maybe finally explains how there was so much money spent

Apparently we also didnt take care of their things. The only thing we got told is that their screen glasses got scratches. We looked at them and there is indeed one faint scratch in there, maybe some more, the light here isnt the brightest

Yes, the keyboard was fully our wrongdoing (though no clue what exactly made it break). The glasses. I guess from cleaning them before use, as they're made from some plastic (which is on the softer side for getting scratches)

Otherwise I literally dont know what they mean with it. We helped with tidying up the flat a little bit (still is a mess but some things are sorted together and have a dedicated place), we vacuumed as best as we managed (though we wanted to do that again since days as the floor is full of debris again). And yes, those two points were entirely because we felt the need to make the place nice for ourselves

Content Warning: Sex

In the time here, I figured out that my boundary to have sex with people I'm not atracted to but am okay with is lower than expected. Possibly it's also my(?) sexual desire that's strong at times that makes it work out

But it's also made easier by the fact that it's mainly me that get's pleasured and I can be selective on how to pleasure the other person, as our system still struggles with penises (or whatever the plural form of penis is)

But also there's the struggle of the other person being visually older (as our negative experience comes from (probably cis) men identifying people (at the time of it happening) that were older than us) and also of being atracted to us while we're not atracted to them

Also it was interesting to see, despite having one session that turned out shitty (them playing with our butthole (we gave issues with that as we connect it with the poo that comes out and therefore it feels very unsanitary) and us ending up disconnected from the body and them asking us whether we're ready for more (they putting their finger in our butthole) and despite us not responding or doing anything, slowly begining to start getting more intense (they later said the took our non responsiveness as us expetcing them to do something). we then snapped back after a bit and instantly went under the shower) that we afterwards still managed to have enough trust to be sexual with them again and despite the first time after me disconnecting the sexual act from their person, the second time it was with aknowledging them and it was a real nice session

Might search for a bdsm group, it could be a positive and potentially healing thing for us

End Content Warning

The upcoming days might get difficult as yesterday there seemed to be a little(?) around (when watching some bluey, as they like the show) that wasnt doing so well and also seemed overwhelmed following the show

Let's see what will happen and hope it wont be trauma

-Protector (probably)

[clown-cars-blog]

o/ Hello again, wanted to offer our own advise about disclosing your system to a therapist because weve had to do it a few times now ourselves. Believe it or not most therapists now a days want you to just say it to them, all three of the therapists we told recently had the same reaction when we lingered for weeks and weeks and finally told them maybe a month or so in and every time they would say "why did you wait so long to tell me?" Now, weve been threw so many therapists not because they dont believe us but because none of them understand at all how to treat DID and one even flat out told us she had to transfer us to someone new because she just didnt know enough about it. So far in our therapeutic journey the only time a therapist told us they didnt believe DID was even a real thing was all the way back in 2015, most therapists now adays (prob because of the "trends" and "popularity" of it) at least know what it is and are a bit more informed about it. Honestly, the stress of worrying if your a system or not, while so very valid, is not a feature of DID. I kinda hate that denial criteria for DID because on one hand while denial is very common among systems and can aid in disassociation its also not a symptom that is consistent. The goal honestly is to kinda stop feeling denial at some point and we slowly have been reaching that point ourselves but is easier or harder for people depending on so much, namely how much shame you feel from yourself and your peers. ALL THAT TO SAY! If you feel your a system just say that "Hey, we have DID, can you help with that?" instead of "Do I have DID can you tell me I have it?". The genuinely worst casanerio is you get a new therapist if the one you have isnt helping you. And if your wrong about being a system? Thats okay too, its not a moral failing at all to simply be mistaken but to me it sounds more like you KNOW your a system and looking for a therapist rather then looking for a diagnosis. Also having DID is far more then just being a system! Having a list of what impacts you daily and what you need help with is really all you need. Id also recommend getting a therapist who has at least worked with a system before cause honestly our biggest issue is simply lack of knowledge and experience. I hope this ramble helped! Sorry if not and good luck!! Despite it all its still a scary thing to do for the first time so I do wish the best for you!

First off, I would love to thank you for your response! It was really insightful and made us realize a few things about ourself. Second, I get what you're saying. We're just nervous to say anything to our therapist because we're afraid of the switch that will most likely happen. Our funds for therapy come from our mother and she will definitely ask questions if she was told to switch therapists. And we know that denial is not a part of the DID criteria. It should be mentioned definitely to new diagnosed people because it's such a huge part of the disorder and it's brought up a lot in system communities. Third, this ramble really helped. We do experience symptoms that are related to DID, it's just that alters are more familiar with us. We struggle with dissociation, the ptsd, amnesia, SH, etc. We're just not very open about it, and I feel like we should. Anyway, thank you for your rambles. I love listening to others!

~Dylan

[harmonicunt]

i rly cant see myself as separate from the primordial soup. every flaw i see in others is a reflection of myself, every joy too. every cruelty, all kindness. so many people see themselves as leaning towards one or another, but thats wrong, isnt it ? we're capable of all, in our own particular ways. youll pin yourself & doom growth if you put yourself in one corner.

narratives about who you are are mostly about who you think you are--and the thinking is only one fractal of it. i think ive been afraid of defining myself by the "doing" part of my existence because for so long i didnt feel like the "doing" was anything important or interesting or fulfilling. i didnt have language to show what it was teaching me, what it really meant--it was all isolation, and boredom, and rage. it was that, and it was more, and now that im still doing many of the same things alongside that which i truly want, which i find self respect in, which i am fulfilled through, i can see how i could've used different language to spin it in a different light, to be less lonely and afraid of myself. as my story evolves and changes each time i tell it, as others' stories of me grow (and i learn to listen to them, and trust them), im open to all the ways i hadn't seen before, and i understand how blind we are to who we are in one particular moment. reflection must come second.

thinking & doing are two pillars of our selves, pillars we learn to build and tear down and build again. i'm trying to figure out where our control over those pillars lie. i know there are more--we are more than what we think and what we do--and i know we can change and reshape them, but the first shaping is amazing to begin with. is the first shaping the one everyone else does when we're young, and we don't know how to do it ourselves? or the one we do when we emerge, when we look at how our pillars been formed for us--a necessary evil, unfortunately,--and we decide that it should be something else, something that belongs to us? some people never make their own, and i think many of them are very unfulfilled. each one is unique. the idea you can control it utterly, shape yourself into anything you want, is partially a false narrative, addressed by the fact that at first we have no control over what shape it takes. then, i think almost everyone finds there is an immutable self they can never put a finger on, no matter how long they circle around it. you repaint, and carve in new grooves, and add height or branches. you circle around a self you won't know until you've found them. we have many methods of circling around to the self, of seeing what fits with the pillar we think we want to create, and then adjusting when we realize that's not quite the look we thought it'd be.

i've employed a few strange ones through my life, one of the most curious that i come back to often being kin & kinning. a sort of pinning that often felt like a chicken/egg situation, even while i was in it i found it fascinating. what i was and what i wanted to be and what i thought i would be (i was kinning when i was 12-16ish, so i wasn't much of anything but a ball of energy and wanting) merged together into these grand pulls to characters who werent necessarily favorites but made me fucking insane because of what of myself i saw in them (sometimes it still happens, but it's gotten weirder and more specific as ive aged, and harder to explain or project to others who dont already know me.)

i dont know where im going with this. can we ever know ourselves if we dont know who we are to others ? if we dont listen to what they say about us? it feels bad when someone doesnt take what youve said about them, compliment or criticism or neutral, seriously. people who ignore compliments or use them to insult themselves, and people who ignore criticism and tell themselves that they are the best at something you have been struggling with them for, convincing themselves that the problems they run into are external and eschewing responsibility. how far can we push our own self actualization before collapsing? how happy can we convince ourselves we are, not knowing the joy on the other side ? what tells us that we're miserable in the shape that's been built for us? why do we all seem to forget from time to time that everyone else has been using the same scale of time that we have been to build theirs? why do we flatten them to the pillar we see in one moment, inconsiderate of what came before ? it's self-centered, and that's seen as very dirty, but we can't be anything but self-centered when we're only in our own heads, right ? generosity, consideration, kindness, respect, so much of that is in the eye of the beholder. what we think of as universally decent can make another think of us as deeply annoying, even rude, culturally or personally. idk. we're all the same and we're all different and it's weird and i could add questions and ponderings to this forever but ill stop here. i love you.

[jadesbrain]

20240412

my husband is away on a work trip so now im just home with my son. it's not terrible but whenever my husband is here im not so paranoid. i know my son is okay in his crib while he's asleep but my mind makes up these scenarios of him accidentally suffocating or choking or anything that could happen. of course he has a baby monitor and i am constantly checking it to make sure he's okay. he turns 2 in july and im already planning his party. it might be mickey mouse themed or just disney because he loves disney movies.. my days consist of constantly cleaning and trying to pick up. im trying to clean a room day by day so that when my husband gets back from his work trip the house will look really good. i wont be getting rid of anything until he gets back home and we can go through it together. he bought my son an outdoor playset but he wants to set it up when he gets home. the past couple of days have just ben going by. we do the same thing everyday. my sons eating schedule got thrown off due to his teething but we're getting back on it. as soon as he wakes up i change his diaper and get him milk. i put on a movie or show for him and i get to go back to sleep for a little bit. then we head downstairs and wait until lunch time. while we're downstairs i eat breakfast and thats usually a bagel with cream cheese and he'll have a snack. then lunch time comes and he gets fruit on the side and he typically eats pretty good. afterwards he will sign all done and then i sweep and clean his high chair trays. but while im doing that he likes to help me mop so i'll spray the floor with very diluted fabuloso and he will do that. then i'll get his milk ready, change his diaper, and have him lay down for a nap. he sleeps for about 2 hours and then i take my downtime and play video games for about an hour. when he wakes up he gets a snack from his snack cabinet and i'll put on another movie while i clean. about an hour to an hour and a half before dinner we go for a walk and go to the park. then i get home and make him dinner then figure out something for myself. after he eats he still has about 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime and thats enough time for his food to digest. then if it's bath night i get his milk warmed up and then we head upstairs and i get everything else set up(pajamas, lotion, diaper, toothbrush, and towel) and then we start bathtime. after bath i get him dressed and then we rock while he falls asleep. after he falls asleep i pick up a little bit more and then go play video games. i've been in a kinda big depression funk lately but i'm trying to pull myself out of it. my son asking to go on walks and wanting to get out of the house kinda of helps but i really do miss my husband. my family lives in another state so i cant just drive to go see them and my in laws are only 2.5 hours away but i still struggle staying there after everything thats happened. i thought about staying with them for a few days after i get my house cleaned up but i dont know when that will be. i miss my husband so much.