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besanii · 3 years

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I need to know what caused Wei Ying to finally initiate a physical relationship with Xichen. Was it for Lotus pier and what the empress said? He does seem to have some feelings towards Xichen so did he not mind it bc of that? What does Xichen think about this whole thing ahhhhhhhhh so many questions. Sorry Lan Zhan cause ngl I ship them

[ follows on from six ]

Alive.

The word washes over him like a wave, bringing with it a rush of joy and relief—his brother is alive—that lasts only a heartbeat before the significance of the news comes crashing down.

His brother is alive.

An arrow to the shoulder, the report had read. Knocked overboard in the heat of the battle and disappearing under the churning waters; for days they searched, picking through the bodies floating amongst the debris long after the Dongying forces had retreated.

They found him, a day later, half-drowned and delirious with fever, unable to fight. News of his death in battle spread as he lay in his bed, one foot already through the gates of Hell and yet still strategising, planning, during his brief moments of lucidity. Conscious enough to know that they can use his perceived death to their advantage.

And indeed with the loss of Gusu’s greatest commander, their enemies pressed them harder, forcing them to cede waters they had previously held strong. Little did they know they were being lured into a trap, one that would decimate their fleet and end the battle once and for all.

“And how is Hanguang-wang now?” Lan Xichen asks. Only years of experience keeps his voice tightly controlled and his hands relaxed as they rest on the spacious desk before him.

“Replying to Huangshang, Hanguang-wang asked this lowly subject to pass on the message that he is well and not to worry,” the messenger reports. “Hanguang-wang has also said he will stay on to fight until the war is won, as is his duty as the commander of the fleet.”

As a brother, Lan Xichen knows he should recall Lan Wangji from the front lines, allow him to return to Caiyi to nurse his injuries. As Emperor, if his best commander reports he can continue to fight and his staying on increases their chances of victory, then he has no reason to refuse. As a man—

He tells himself the rush of relief that courses through him at the news is because his brother is well; he does not allow himself to entertain the other reason. It is too shameful to admit, even to himself.

In the end, the Emperor wins out, as it always does.

“Very well,” he says finally, pressing the tips of his fingers together as if he is giving serious consideration to Lan Wangji’s request. “We will grant Hanguang-wang the right to stay, as reward for his loyalty.”

He does not call on Chenghuan Hall.

He tells himself it is to give Wei Wuxian space in the wake of such momentous news, to allow him to process it fully in his own time without the added pressure of Lan Xichen’s presence. It is a flimsy excuse, one he knows does not fool his Empress at the very least, whose knowing looks and raised eyebrow has his insides twisting with guilt and shame like a child caught stealing treats from the kitchens. So he avoids her palace too, and seeks refuge in the Imperial study until late in the evenings.

A whole month passes where Lan Xichen does not allow himself to see Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian does not send word to him either.

He wonders if he’s left it too long, whether Wei Wuxian would be upset or angry at their situation—at him, for putting them in this situation. If it is too late to show up now, after a whole month of silence, and try to make amends.

Fortunately—if one could call any part of this fortunate—the decision is made for him when Wei Wuxian himself walks into the Imperial study one night and kneels in the centre of the chamber. Lan Xichen watches dumbly as he prostrates himself, forehead pressed against the tips of his fingers on the cold stone floor, his hair loose and unbound, spilling over his plain white robes, the very picture of contrition and penance.

“This lowly concubine pays greetings to Huangshang,” Wei Wuxian says, his voice loud and clear in the quiet of the study. “And humbly seeks your forgiveness.”

“Wuxian...” Lan Xichen begins hesitantly. He breaks off, looking around at the eunuchs stationed around the study with their heads bowed. “You may leave us.”

It is only after they file away, closing the double doors behind them silently, does Lan Xichen allow himself to cross the chamber to where Wei Wuxian is still kneeling. He hurries to help him up, grasping him below the elbows, but is met with resistance as Wei Wuxian stubbornly keeps his head and shoulders bowed.

“Wuxian,” he says helplessly. “There is no need for this.”

“This lowly concubine dares not stand until Huangshang has forgiven me for my transgressions,” Wei Wuxian replies, still in that formal, wooden tone of voice Lan Xichen has come to know too well. He sighs.

“It is cold tonight and you are barely dressed. You will catch a cold walking around like this,” he tells him gently, softening his grip on his arms. When Wei Wuxian still refuses to budge, he sighs again and tilts his face up with two fingers under his chin. “There is nothing to forgive, you have done nothing wrong,”

There is confusion and wariness in those grey eyes as they finally meet his, two emotions he had hoped never to see again.

“Huangshang is displeased with me,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, tightly, as if he would fall apart if he raised his voice. “Ever since the report from Jinghai. Huangshang can no longer bear the sight of me, now that Lan Zhan—” he bites off the name with a pained twist of his mouth.

Lan Xichen recoils as if struck. He had known the nature of their relationship before his brother’s departure, and their plans for his return. But hearing his brother’s given name, such an intimate address used so freely and without thought, is a stark reminder of what he had done. Who he had taken.

Wei Wuxian knows it too, from the shudder that runs through him as he exhales, and the way his hands curl into fists in his lap.

"This lowly concubine does not dare presume he has any right to beg forgiveness for putting Huangshang in such a difficult position,” he continues, the barest hint of a waver in his voice. “I only wished to let Huangshang know that he does not need to trouble himself over this any longer.”

There is a ring of finality to his words that immediately catches Lan Xichen’s attention.

“What are you saying?” he asks warily. “Wuxian—”

Wei Wuxian shuffles backwards, putting enough distance between them so that he can prostrate himself once more, touching his forehead to the floor.

“This lowly concubine begs Huangshang to grant me the death penalty.”

“No.”

The word forces itself from Lan Xichen’s lips before he even realises he’s spoken, a spontaneous, visceral reaction full of hurt and fury beyond his control. For a long moment after, he cannot speak around the vice clamped tight around his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs. Wei Wuxian replies, but his voice is only a faint murmur against the blood roaring in his ears; he cannot see his face to read his lips, but Lan Xichen already knows what he will say.

“You cannot ask that of me.” The words rasp painfully against his throat. “I will not be the reason for your death.”

Wei Wuxian raises his head and Lan Xichen freezes at the sight of the tears in his eyes, the same hurt, the same helpless fury colouring his cheeks and knitting his brows.

“And I am not willing to be the conflict that destroys the relationship between brothers,” he cries. “I cannot—I will not do it. Huangshang. You cannot ask that of me. Please do not ask it of me.”

He lowers his face to the floor once more.

“This lowly concubine is only alive today because of Huangshang,” he says, voice small and trembling but with an undercurrent of steel. “I should already be dead. If Huangshang grants me the death penalty now, it will only be putting the situation to rights once more, and Hanguang-wang will be none the wiser upon his return.”

Lan Xichen reaches out a trembling hand toward him, but stops short, hand hovering just above the top of his head. He cannot ask this of him. As a brother, and as a man, he cannot do it. As an Emperor—

Almost as if sensing his indecision, Wei Wuxian raises his head, leans into the palm of Lan Xichen’s outstretched hand and smiles as those long fingers mould themselves reflexively around the curve of his cheek.

“This lowly concubine will never forget the kindness and affection Huangshang has bestowed upon me,” he murmurs. “So if there must be a sacrifice, please let me make it in your place.”

TBC (yes I have just decided there will be a part two to this)

buy me a ko-fi!

more paper-thin fic | verse

Notes

Such drama! Much angst!

Sorry this took much longer than anticipated, mostly cos I’ve been devouring ancient Tezuka/Fuji fics and falling back into the ancient Tenipuri fandom in the past couple of weeks. So, uh, don’t be surprised if my next thing is Tezuka/Fuji instead (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

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emetogirl · 2 years

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another irl story about ✨✨puking violently✨✨

Alright guys my uterus has been kicking my everloving ass for the past week for literally no good reason. It sucks I hate it and penis owners have it too easy. I’m actually having endometriosis surgery soon, so maybe after that point I’ll stop passing out and puking my guts up whenever it’s that time of the month, but until then I’m stuck with things being this way🤢

Cramps always ALWAYS make me super nauseated. Like, sleeping with my heating pad, only eating my comfort foods (if anything at all), sucking on popsicles and laying on the floor of my bathroom. It’s no fun and it’s pretty pathetic honestly😂😂 even when I’m in this state I know I have to at least try to go to work (yay, living in America where you get disciplinary action at your job for calling out sick). All day I am totally miserable trying to soothe my belly before having to go to work. I’m barely able to stomach anything to eat, then feeling lightheaded bc of not eating, then trying to eat something and nearly having to puke it up from pain and nausea. It’s a vicious fucking cycle. At one point I stood up to grab something, got hit with a wave of nausea and vertigo, and just crumpled to my knees and fainted😳 woke up on the floor face down to my roommate standing over my to make sure I was okay. Less than an hour before I’m supposed to go into work, I decide to try some ibuprofen to see if it would help… aaaand 15 minutes later they’re swimming in the drain of my toilet as I’m puking up everything I’ve been able to eat that day. I had downed the meds with some pedialyte and eaten a few crackers, and all of a sudden my stomach goes n o p e and I gag, HARD. I press one hand over my mouth and the other over my belly, trying to calm my gag reflex and hoping to be able to keep everything down. Unfortunately, my belly has other ideas. My throat continued to convulse with a gag every couple seconds, and I knew puking was inevitable. I walked quickly to my bathroom and opened the lid to the toilet where I dry heaved over the water. I took a deep breath and gagged again, hoping it would be over soon. The third gag turned into a wet retch that brought up a mouthful of dark, chunky liquid that splattered into the water below and left me coughing and spitting out puke. My stomach felt a lot better after throwing up and I immediately stopped having the gagging spells, so I was able to go lay down for maybe 20 minutes before leaving for work. I thought about calling A and telling him I was sick and begging with my puppy dog eyes for him to take my shift so I could rest, but I ended up not doing that and going in anyways. Work went okay and I was able to be mostly sitting with my heating pad around my stomach, so it was bearable, but jesus do I hate having these problems.

Anyways I am still on my period and still cramping and am probably gonna puke again!!!!!! and i have work in the morning🙃

#emeto #emetophilia #irlsickstory #sick #nausea #puke #sickfic #fuck you endometriosis

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years

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₊·˚♤˚· inconvenient | lhs ˚₊·˚♤˚·

↬ part of: 500 followers event <33 ↬ pairing: lee heeseung x reader ↬ genre: fluff | slight angst (happy ending dw) | idol!au ↬ warnings: slight angst in that reader feels as if hee doesn’t have enough time for them bc of hee’s busy schedule and heeseung calls reader’s efforts inconvenient w/o realizing the weight of his words :( ↬ w/c: 1.4k ↬ requested by: anon, no specific name

As your eyes settled on the screen of your phone, reading Heeseung’s text message, you couldn’t help but scoff at it. You looked out the window of the cafe you were supposed to meet your boyfriend for your lunch date but he sent a text, canceling for what felt like the hundredth time this month. You could feel him slipping away from you with the other half of the bed empty almost every night, your dates constantly canceled, and your texts going unread. You decided not to respond to Heeseung, after all, what was the point? As you finished the remainder of your drink, you decided that you were going to enjoy the day to yourself regardless of whether or not Heeseung was going to be with you.

And that’s exactly what you did.

You explored the city and took your own pictures, found a new favorite trail to walk on, and bought yourself a new bag. Despite all the texts and calls from Heeseung, you ignored them all to give him a little taste of his own medicine. When you got home, you were more surprised than anything to see Heeseung waiting for you.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asked. You looked at him, noticing how his eyes narrowed in on you and his arms crossed over his chest which caused his biceps to bulge out.

“Oh, so you care about me?”

“Of course I care, why wouldn’t I?”

“Well you canceled for the hundredth time today, I decided to have fun by myself.” His eyes cast to the floor, unable to look at you. You heard him let out a sigh as he muttered,

“I’m sorry.” You knew that when Heeseung became an idol, he’d have a busy schedule. You supported his dreams, had been there from the start but what good was your efforts when right now it felt as if you weren’t even in a relationship? Sure, Heeseung was sorry but you had heard the words thousands of times that you felt nothing anymore.

“How many times am I supposed to forgive you?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Babe, I’ve just been busy. You know how important promotion season is, I just don’t have the time for things like I used to.”

“I know that but you can’t even go on one damn date the entire month?”

“We spend all night practicing for performances that I’m better off spending the night at Jay or Jake’s instead of coming home. With the events we have along with the dates you wanna go on and your constant texts, it’s just inconvenient.”

“Inconvenient?” It was with Heeseung’s words that you realized, you had had enough. If your constant attempts to keep the relationship, well, a relationship turned out to be inconvenient to Heeseung then there was no point to it. If all the time you spent checking up on him turned out to be inconvenient then you had no reason to put in any effort anymore. You knew that work and his dreams were important but so were you.

“I didn’t mean it like that, there are things that I need to do and responsibilities I need to focus on-”

“Am I not important to you anymore?” As your ears were met with silence you felt your breathing caught up in your throat. Waiting for Heeseung to answer only to be met with no reply, through his hesitance you found your answer.

“Baby, I-”

“Forget I asked.” You walked past him, heading into your room and in the process shoving his shoulder. As the door slammed and you flopped onto the bed you waited. Waited for Heeseung to knock on the door, waited for him to say something, anything, but waiting only led to self-given heartbreak. You heard the opening of a door ringing throughout your ears but it wasn’t the door you had hoped. After hearing the key, you came to a realization. Heeseung decided to walk out.

Following the next few days, you and Heeseung entered a stage of your relationship you weren’t quite sure what to label as. It wasn’t that you broke up per se, but you weren’t exactly together either. Sure, you exchanged a few messages here and there but you could feel Heeseung slipping away or maybe it was you slipping away, you weren’t quite sure. Throughout the week, you found yourself unable to sleep. But one Friday night, that inability to sleep turned into a 3 am movie marathon spent on the living room couch curled up under your blankets and one of Heeseung’s shirts. You heard the front door open, glanced over to see the light turn on and Heeseung taking off his shoes.

“You’re up?” he asked, slight worry filling his tone.

“Couldn’t sleep,” was all you could bring yourself to say.

“Should I make us some ramen?” he offered.

“Yeah, if you want.” You stayed in the living room while Heeseung made his way to the kitchen. You didn’t know what to say, how were you even supposed to start? With your eyes settled on the tv, you entered a sort of daze where your head felt heavy and clouded with thoughts but your throat was unable to get any words out. It wasn’t until Heeseung was in front of you, blocking the tv that you drifted back to reality. You let out a small “thank you,” as the warmth of the bowl of ramen met your palms, couldn’t hold back your small smile as you saw that Heeseung had given you one and a half soft boiled eggs. When the both of you finished eating, you found yourself almost scared to talk to Heeseung about what went on that night. Your relationship was either going to continue, or it was going to end. As Heeseung reached towards the coffee table, about to take the bowls to the kitchen, your hand reached out to hold his arm, stopping him.

“Stay,” you whispered. Heeseung only nodded, settling himself so that he was laying on the couch with you. Face to face with him, you moved so that your head was laying on his chest. His heartbeat was calming, embrace comfortable, and scent making you feel complete. The next step in your relationship, or its end, whichever it was, you’d find out tomorrow. Closing your eyes, all you could do was wait.

When you woke up, your ears were met with a slight groan and the hold around you tightened. As you lifted your head up, a hard sort of knock was heard paired with an,

“Oww, what the hell?” from Heeseung. You brought up a hand to massage his chin while you felt him kiss the top of your head,

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be here when I woke up.”

“I, uhh, have something planned for us today. If you’re up for it?” Heeseung seemed kind of nervous as he spoke, avoiding your eyes and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“You do?”

“A date, as an apology, because I’m sorry.”

“What about work?”

“I told our manager that I was taking today off.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to me and I hate that it’s taken so damn long for me to show it to you.”

While you got ready for whatever it was Heeseung had planned, he was making breakfast. After breakfast, he brought you to a festival you didn’t even know was going on. While you walked past the stalls set up, occasionally stopping to look at something that caught your eye, Heeseung’s hand stayed intertwine with yours. You had missed it, being with Heeseung, and feeling loved by him. When lunchtime came around, you ended at the park. There were both couples and families with a towel, eating food they had packed, but all of a sudden, Heeseung was leading you to a towel with a picnic basket.

“This is our spot,” he said. Your eyes went wide,

“You set this up?”

“Mhm. I know how much you love picnics and I figured… let’s go on one.” You sat down, unable to hold back your smile as Heeseung sat next to you. You really did love picnics, but more so with Heeseung. After eating, you laid down and looked up at sky feeling as if the world was so vast and wide. You found yourself looking at Heeseung,

“Y’know, keeping my head on the ground is really inconvenient right now.” Heeseung’s eyes filled with alarm,

“I’m sorry, I never should’ve said that.”

“It’s ok,” you said. And you meant it. “It’d be less inconvenient if I could use your arm as a pillow though.” As Heeseung’s arm extended, you rested your head on it while you wrapped an arm around his chest. Waiting often led to self-given heartbreak, but sometimes, it was worth it.

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | main blog masterlist | 500 followers masterlist

tagging: @bloom-bloom-pow | @markleepooh | @sunshineshouchan (permanent taglist open if anyone wants to be on it !!)

#enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung angst #lee heeseung fluff #heeseung x reader #heeseung imagines #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #enhypen lee heeseung imagines #enhypen lee heeseung x reader #enhypen lee heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung

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kireimarkeu · 4 years

Text

No Contact

+another repost! i did not make any changes to this work.

summary; mark as your secret boyfriend.. but the both of you aren’t very discreet..

i was inspired by this drabble… so cute

5.1k words..

i swear i tried not to make it too long but it was so hard… also the ending is kinda funny lmfao!!!! im so funny

anw i hope you guys enjoyed this…? bc this was so so so fun to make although it’s lowkey kinda empty bc i didn’t want to make it too long!!! but yes hopefully you like it!! okkk bye!! njoy hehehehehe <3

+Day 18 3:32PM

You were holding Mark’s hands tightly, talking happily about anything and everything.

That was why you loved Mark; he made you feel so comfortable, you could talk to him for hours and never get tired. He’s someone who you would need in a friend group to make everything less awkward.

“And so, Yeri fell and we all laughed!” you told him, laughing at the old memory.

You used to work as a choreographer for Red Velvet, but after a while, you decided to stop since it was affecting your studies a lot. While working with SM, you met the boys, and that was how you met the rest of NCT.

When you didn’t get a response from Mark, you turned to look at Mark, only to find him frozen, staring ahead.

“Mark?” you call, turning to see what he was staring at. Your eyes widened when you saw Jaehyun and Doyoung crossing the traffic light. “Oh, fuck.”

“Shit,” your boyfriend cursed, “we need to go,” he tells you, tightening his grip on your hand.

The both of you speed walk to the opposite direction, hoping his members wouldn’t walk the same path as the both of you. Mark let out another string of curses when he saw his members walking behind them.

Mark suddenly pulled you into a random store, trying to lose his friends. He pulled you deeper in the store, hiding the both of you from the main entrance.

Your boyfriend was standing so close to you, the proximity making you nervous. You could feel your heart beating quickly as your cheeks flush red. Your hands going up to press them against Mark’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

Mark didn’t notice, too distracted on finding his friends. When he noticed that he has lost his friends, he pulled away from a breathless you. His hands smoothly pull yours away from his chest.

“I think they’re gone— wait, why are you so red?”

+Day 24 11:22PM

You were laying on the couch, playing with your phone while your boyfriend worked on some music that he has been writing for the past few days.

“Mark~” you whine, your eyes were still stuck on your phone. You just wanted to disturb him for fun.

Suddenly the door of the studio opened, Taeyong stumbling in as he stared at you and Mark in shock.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong asks you.

“Uh…” you drag out, turning to look at your boyfriend for help. He looked at you then he quickly looked back at Taeyong.

“I was making a new song for our Japan stage and had y/n help me with the choreography and all,” Mark explained, letting out an embarrassed chuckle.

That was a lie. Well, not really. Mark did need help with the choreography, but at the same time he wanted you to be there to accompany him. Your presence calms him.

Taeyong remained silent as his eyes went back and forth between you and Mark.

“Should I leave?” you ask awkwardly, looking at your boyfriend then back at Taeyong. When you didn’t get a response, you stood up ready to grab your things.

The older man shook his head, “no, no, stay,” he tells you, walking further in, “I just didn’t know the both of you were so close,” he says while taking a seat next to your boyfriend.

You let out a chuckle, “we’re close, you guys just didn’t know,”

+Day 33 9:02PM

After Taeyong found out how close Mark was with you, he wouldn’t stop inviting you to the dorm to hang out with the rest of the boys.

“So, what movie are we watching today?” asks Taeyong as he took a seat next to Doyoung.

You and Mark were seating next to each other. Mark was sitting at the very end while Jaehyun was sitting on the other side of you. Mark and you was sharing a blanket, your hands placed on your lap.

“Parasite?” suggests Taeil.

Loud whines filled the room, “we’ve all watched it, Taeil-ah,” whined Johnny.

“Y/n, have you watched it?” asks Taeyong, turning to look at you.

You shook your head. You were told it was pretty graphic and scary and you hated anything that has got to do with blood.

And Mark knew that, so he would always avoid watching scary movies with you.

“Should we watch it again? Since y/n hasn’t watched it?” suggests Taeyong, looking at the members for confirmation. The rest of the boys nod their head in agreement.

“Hyung,” your boyfriend voices out, “I don’t think—”

“No,” you quickly deny with a smile, “let’s watch it,”

Taeyong shrugs and plays the movie.

Mark bit his lip.

A few minutes later, you felt your phone vibrate, you noticed it was Mark who has texted you. You turn to look at Jaehyun, making sure he wasn’t looking. You lowered the brightness of your phone before opening Mark’s text message.

Markie Pooh: will you be okay?

You turn to look at Mark, but he was staring at the TV screen with a straight face.

You bit back a smile as you typed a reply.

You: yes, don’t worry abt me :)

Mark quickly looked down at his phone to see your reply before keeping his phone away again. Your boyfriend let out a cough before shifting nearer to you until your shoulders were touching.

You tried to hide your smile by looking down before looking back up, trying to keep a straight face.

Mark had already watched the movie with the boys when it first came out. He knew when there was going to be a bloody scene.

So, before the scene started, he had secretly reached for your hand under the blanket.

You felt his fingers slowly reaching for yours, letting his fingers lace with yours. You tightly grip his hands, not wanting to let go. When you saw the bloody scene, your grip on your boyfriend’s hands tightened as he soothingly strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, hoping it would calm you.

His fingers on yours distracted you from the graphic show that was playing. You were smiling like a crazy woman as Mark continued to stroke your hand with his thumb.

“Are you… smiling?” asks Jaehyun as he turned to look at you weirdly. His question made everyone in the room to stare at you.

Your eyes widen, shaking your head profusely. “No, I wasn’t,”

Johnny nodded, “you did, I saw you,”

At this point, Mark had already pulled his hand away from yours as he stares at you with amusement.

“I wasn’t smiling! It was a scary scene, why would I be smiling?” you ask them, crossing your arms defensively.

Donghyuck lets out a sigh, “I think we all know y/n just loves horror,”

Taeil nodded, “yeah, she feeds of dead people,”

“Excuse me?!” you screech, throwing a pillow at Taeil, “what does that— no I don’t!”

The boys let out a roar of laughter, amused at how defensive you were acting.

Markie Pooh: you like that, huh? ;)

You looked down at your phone, letting out a soft scowl before reaching under the blanket to pinch Mark’s thigh.

Mark let out a quiet squeal as he pushed your hand away.

+Day 49 10:01PM

You were listening to Mark talk about his day. You couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he was; his pouty lips and chubby cheeks which you so desperately want to pinch.

“Babe, are you listening?” Mark asks with a frown, noticing how you haven’t moved for the past few minutes.

You nodded, “yes I am, baby,” you replied.

Mark grins, “okay,” and he went back to talking about his best friend, Donghyuck.

After hanging out with the boys for a couple of time, you and Donghyuck became close as well. Maybe because he was your boyfriend’s best friend, but you and him just got along so well that the both of you even started texting almost every day.

“So, what did you do today, babe?” asks Mark, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, well I didn’t do anything today,” you tell him, “I cleaned my house a little bit then I took a nap,”

He puffs his cheeks out, “it’s a good thing you didn’t go out today, the air quality is really bad.”

He was always taking care of you; it always made your heart flutter. Mark was always looking out for you despite him being busy himself. Sometimes he would forget to take care of himself which always resulted in you lecturing him.

Mark was in the middle of saying something when someone barged in his room, screaming.

“MARK LEE!” you recognised it was Taeil’s voice.

Mark quickly hid his phone, resting it on his chest.

“Ah, Hyung, what are you doing here? What do you want?” you heard him ask.

You decided to mute your mic, just to be safe.

“Why? Can’t I come in and talk to you?” asks Taeil.

You suddenly heard a loud huff from Mark, as his phone fell off his chest and onto his white sheets. You assumed Taeil was laying on him.

“Ah~ get out,” whined Mark, pushing the elder off him.

You heard Taeil click his tongue. “who are you talking to? Your girlfriend?” he asks, “MARK HAS A GIRLFRIEND!” yell Taeil as you laugh out loud.

Luckily your mic was on mute.

“I don’t have a girlfriend!” groans Mark as he stood up to push his member out of his room. He quickly locked the door before jumping back to bed, grabbing his phone.

You unmute your mic.

“Hi,” you giggle.

He let out a huff, but letting out a shy smile, “Hi, so, where were we?”

+Day 57 7:57PM

Mark entered your house after taking off his shoes. He quietly took a seat at the very end couch.

It was hard for the both of you to visit each other especially with the boys around, so you decided to have dates at your place instead. It was a good idea since no one could come over and interrupt the both of you.

“Are you okay?” you ask Mark, noticing how he was so stiff.

He nodded hesitantly, “it’s just…”

You waited for him to finish his sentence.

“-awkward,” he finishes, looking up at you.

You laugh at his words, “why?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know! I’ve never been to your place.”

Amused, you scoot closer to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“There’s no one else here, Mark.”

You liked teasing him. You enjoyed how he would freeze up at your words. Or when his cheeks would turn a bright red colour. Or how his palms would turn a little sweaty.

Pulling away from you, he quickly stood up, shaking his head. “No, no, that’s not what we’re going to do.” He tells you, stepping further away from you as you looked up at him in enjoyment.

“We’re here to watch a movie,” he says, “that’s all.”

He was convincing himself.

+Day 69 4:13PM

Marker: babe ):

You: what

Marker: I miss you ):

Marker: )))))):

You chuckled at his texts.

Marker: what are you doingggggg

You: I’m watching a drama

You: what are you doing?

Marker: practice ):

Marker: so bored wo u here

Marker: miss your pretty face ):

You: stop it with the sad emojis!! >:(

Marker: ):

Marker: ))):

You: bye

You: I’m going to put my phone on dnd

Marker: nooo don’t leave me baby

Marker: okokokokok I’ll behave

You: good

Annoying boy: hehe

Annoying boy: wht are u up to babyyyy

Annoying boy: wait I already asked that

You: yes u did, u loser

Annoying boy: can I come over later?

You: y

Annoying boy: causeee I miss u

You: fine but not too long

You: I don’t want the boys to be all suspicious

Annoying boy: ok bb!!! I won’t hehehe ok

Annoying boy: I have to go now!!

Annoying boy: ily!! Bye bye

You: see you later

+Day 74 2:36AM

You had one of your leg bent on Mark’s thigh, your hand resting on his chest. He has one arm around your neck for comfort.

“Mark,” you sigh.

Mark’s eyes were glued on his phone but let out a hum at the mention of his name. His fingers stroke your shoulder as a sign to assure you that he was listening.

“We haven’t gone on a date in so long,” you say sadly, drawing hearts on his chest with your finger.

Mark put his phone down, “you wanna go on a date?”

You look up at him and nodded.

When he made eye contact with you, he couldn’t help but press his lips on your forehead, “okay, but we can’t get caught,”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, pulling yourself up so you could press kisses all over his face. Mark’s face scrunch at the ticklish feeling of your lips.

“tickles,” he giggles, pulling his face away from you.

You pout when he pulls away from you. Your eyes slowly trail off his face to his hair; your fingers automatically going up to play with the black strands.

Fuck, Mark literally just fell in love with you.

He enjoyed the position that the both of you were in. You- laying on top of him while he had both hands resting on your waist, staring up at you lovingly.

“I love your black hair, Mark,” you mumble, eyes stuck on the boy’s hair.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod, “never dye it any other colour,” you look down at him, “or I’ll get mad,” you joke.

He laughs, “Anything for my girl,”

Your boyfriend’s hands that was resting on your waist, went up to stroke your back softly. He put a little pressure on your back, pushing you down to capture your lips in his.

+Day 80 11:22PM

It was another movie night with the boys.

This time it was Donghyuck who had invited you over since promotions are over.

You walked over to sit next to Mark, but you heard Donghyuck whine your name.

“Sit with me~”

You let out a smile, sitting next to Haechan. The boy immediately grabs your arm, wrapping it around his shoulders before cuddling against you.

Your met Mark’s gaze from across the room. You could tell he was pissed from the way he was nibbling on his lip and clenching his fist. He looked away, typing into his phone.

You felt your phone vibrate, knowing it was from Mark. You didn’t bother checking the message because it was too risky, especially with Haechan cuddled to your side.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

A few hours and lots of movies of later, the boys finally grew tired and decided to call it a night.

Since it was too late for you to head back home, the boys offered you to sleep over. You told them you would take the couch. They were a little hesitant to let a girl sleep on the couch, but you managed to convince them.

It wasn’t like you would be sleeping on the couch anyway.

Once you were sure that everyone was in their respective rooms, you quietly sneaked into your boyfriend’s bedroom.

“Mark?” you whisper, opening the door quietly.

When you saw the mop of black hair laying on the pillow, you smile, closing the door quietly, your feet padding towards the bed.

You pull the blanket down so you could lay next to your lover. You rest your arm on his waist as you snuggle closer to him.

“Hi handsome,” you whisper, letting out a giggle as you stare at his pretty face. A frown replaced your smile when he didn’t reply to you. “Are you okay, baby?”

Mark could only pout. You pout along with him, the hand resting on his waist going up to push away the stray hair from his face.

“Why are you pouting?” you ask quietly, pressing a kiss to his pouty lips.

He pouts even more, “why did you sit with Haechan just now? Why didn’t you sit with me?”

You bit back a grin that was forming, “why? Were you jealous?”

He frowns and shook his head, “no! why would I be jealous of Haechan?”

“Really?” you ask, “if you’re not jealous then I’ll sit with Haechan from now on,” you tease, your fingers now caressing his exposed chest.

He shrugs, “fine by me,”

You suddenly stood up, letting his arm fall on your lap, “actually, I’ll even go sleep with him,” you continued to pester Mark, enjoying the way it was bothering him.

“Hey!” he whisper-shout, his hands wrapped on your wrist, stopping you from getting out of bed, “You can’t do that!”

You chuckle, laying back down with your boyfriend, “I won’t, dummy,” you flick his forehead.

He lets out a satisfied sigh, pulling you closer until his cheeks were resting on the top of your head.

“You’re mine. Mine only.”

+Day 89 12:35AM

The both of you were on facetime again.

Despite being only 30 minutes apart, the both of you couldn’t meet; not wanting anyone to catch the both of you. Furthermore, you felt bad, since Mark had just finished practice, it would be tiring for him to come over your place.

There was a sudden knock on Mark’s door. Your boyfriend hastily hid his phone and you naturally mute your mic.

“You busy?” you heard someone ask, from the voice, you assumed it was Taeyong.

“No,” Mark reply.

“Were you talking to someone? Is it y/n?” asks Taeyong.

Mark pretend to grimace at your name, “why would I be calling y/n?”

Taeyong shrugs, “we all kinda assumed you had a crush on y/n,”

“Ew,” Mark shook his head, “I’ll never like y/n,” he says, “she’s not even my type.”

You knew he was just saying that to stop the suspicions of the both of you dating but what he said actually hurts.

“Really?” Taeyong questions, “we were so sure you would like y/n,”

“I swear, Hyung. Y/N isn’t even my type, her personality isn’t even my type,” Mark tries to persuade the older boy.

Now that actually really hurts.

You weren’t sure if he was just lying or saying the truth.

You couldn’t bare to listen another second of their conversation, so you immediately hung up.

Markie: baby

Markie: whyd u end the call haha

Markie: Taeyong’s gone call me back hehe

2 missed calls

Markie: why are you not picking up??

1 missed call

Markie: call me baaackkkk babe

Markie: did u fall asleep?? Haha

Markie: but it’s so early tho :(

Markie: I guess you’re asleep~

Markie: ok goodnight baby sleep tight dream of me :3

Markie: I love youuuuuuuu

+Day 90 12:46PM

Markie: good morning my love

Markie: can we call??

Markie: I kinda miss you haha

1 missed call

Markie: heeyyyyy

Markie: are you ignoring me?

Markie: I didn’t want to think you were ignoring me, but I feel like you r

Markie: did I do something wrong? :/

Markie: can you tell me what it is at least?

Markie: at least we can talk it out or at least I can apologize?

Markie: babe

You: why did you say that

Markie: say what?

You: yesterday

You: what you said about me

You: tht I wasn’t your type nd all

Markie: call me

Few seconds later, you received a call from your boyfriend. You answered the call, placing your phone on your ear.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he quickly says, “I just wanted to convince him that we weren’t dating,”

You were quiet for a while; you could hear Mark’s heavy breathing. You knew he was stressed with work and all, and you being sulky definitely wasn’t helping him.

You let out a sigh, “I know.”

“Was it too much?” he asks you.

“No,” you answer, “I just, I was just overthinking it and—”

“I get it,” he cuts you off, “don’t worry about it,”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, “I know you’re really busy and stressed over work and I’m just making you feel worse by overthinking and all—”

“Hey,” he cuts you off again, “Don’t worry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

You couldn’t help but feel sorry.

“Sorry,” you apologised again.

“Apologize one more time and I’ll end the call,” he jokes.

+Day 100 8:35PM

Mark hid his hands behind his back, holding the small box in his hand tightly as he faced you with a cheeky smile.

“What do you have behind your back, Mark Lee?” you ask, squinting your eyes at him suspiciously.

It was your 100th day together, and since the both of you couldn’t go out to celebrate, the both of you agreed to celebrate at your place instead.

Since Mark couldn’t make it special for you, he decided to get you a present, just to make-up for all the secret dates.

“It’s a present,” he answers cheekily. “I got you something to make up for all the secret dates,”

You pout at his words, “I’m okay with all the sneaking around, Mark,”

Your hands going up to his jaw, your thumb caressing his cheek softly. Mark loves your touches; he couldn’t help but lean into your touch.

Tilting his head a little, he pressed a small kiss against your palm, one of his hands reaching to grab your hands in his.

“I bought it because I think you’ll look good in it,” he tells you, pulling out the box from behind.

You gasp when you saw the Tiffany & Co. box.

“Mark,” you exclaim, looking up at him, “that’s expensive!”

“You haven’t even seen it yet!” he laughs.

He slowly opens the box, showing off the elegant 18k diamond necklace.

Your hands went up to your mouth, gasping.

“Mark Lee,” you shook your head, “you’re fucking crazy,”

He smiles, satisfied with your reaction, “do you like it?”

“Are you crazy? It’s beautiful!” you tell him. “But all I bought for you were $15 chocolates but here you are— gifting me an 18k diamond necklace!”

Mark giggles, pulling out the necklace from it’s box.

“Turn around,” he murmurs. You automatically turn around, pulling your hair to one side so he could easily put the necklace on you.

He swiftly place the pretty necklace around your neck, pinning it. You turn around to face him.

“Pretty?” you ask him, tilting your head a little.

“Gorgeous,” he responds, a smirk playing on his lips.

Just as you were about to reply, you heard a knock on your door. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion, who would come over at this timing?

Mark frowns, “did you invite someone?”

You shook your head, “No, stay here, I’ll go see who it is.”

You stood up, walking to your door, checking the peephole, finding out who is on the other side of the door. You let out a soft gasp when you saw Donghyuck standing behind the door.

You quickly kick Mark’s shoes under the cabinet at the front door then running over to your boyfriend.

“Who—”

You grabbed Mark’s arms, pulling him up. “Fuck, it’s Haechan,”

He let you pull him into your bedroom with furrowed eyebrows, “why is he here?”

You shake your head, pushing Mark into your walk-in wardrobe, “I have no idea. Stay here, I’ll try to distract him, okay?”

You didn’t even let him answer, already rushing out, making sure to close your bedroom door.

When you opened the door, Haechan immediately walked in, whining on how you were taking forever to answer the door.

It has been 15 minutes and Haechan still hasn’t left and Mark was growing tired and sweaty in your wardrobe.

Baby Mark: is he still there

You: yeah

Baby Mark: fuuuck

Baby Mark: tell him to leave

Baby Mark: it’s so hot in here :(

You: I’m trying!! He just won’t leave

You: are you okay in there

Baby Mark: no

You: fine just get out of the wardrobe and stay in my room

You: sorry

You: make sure u lock the door and don’t make too much noise

Baby Mark: okay

+Day 101 2:34AM

You let out a heavy sigh when Donghyuck finally left. Closing your eyes tightly, you let out another heavy breath. You could finally sit down and rest.

Oh shit— Mark!

You ambled towards your bedroom, twisting it open, realising it wasn’t locked.

This little shit.

When you walked in your bedroom, you were met with your boyfriend laying on your bed, hugging one of your pillows, asleep. Your heart warmed at the sight, you felt bad making him wait for hours when it was your 100th day as a couple.

Walking closer, you climbed in next to him. Your hands caressed his hair and his pretty face.

“I’m sorry for making you wait for so long,” you whisper.

You didn’t know what made you so emotional, but you couldn’t help but tear up.

You really didn’t know why. Maybe because he had gone out of his way just to see you. And maybe because he had to wait for hours just for you and in the end both of you couldn’t celebrate the special day.

“You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for—” you choked a sob, a hand going up to cover your mouth.

Taking a deep breath, you continue, “You do so much for me and I’m always messing up.”

For once, you were thankful that your boyfriend was a heavy sleeper.

“I love you, Mark,” you mumble, your eyes scanning his face, appreciating everything about him. “Remember that.”

After wiping your dried tears, you slide next to him, removing the pillow that was between you two. Snuggling right into his arms, your head resting on his chest while his cheek was pressed on the crown of your head.

“I love you,” you whisper one last time before falling into a deep slumber.

+Day 124 7:28PM

The dome was filled with loud voices, everyone was holding their green NCT lightsticks. You felt out of place, especially when you didn’t have any kind of lightstick or poster on you.

You nervously took a seat on your assigned seat, waiting for your boyfriend to come out.

NCT was holding a concert after a while and Taeyong had given you free tickets to support them.

Mark had actually gotten hold of an extra ticket for you and was about to surprise you but found out that his members had already invited you. He was a little bummed out about it but shrugged it off.

The light dimmed and the crowd started cheering. The girls around you started squealing in excitement.

Soon, the boys started performing. When your boyfriend’s face was on the screen, you couldn’t help but grin at his cute face.

The fans next to you would squeal and gush at how adorable your boyfriend is. You were proud that he was your boyfriend, sadly you couldn’t show him off.

At the end of the concert, the boys lined up in the middle of the huge stage. They started thanking the fans for coming and supporting them.

“But I think Mark is really happy today,” Jaehyun suddenly blurted out, turning to face Mark.

The camera started zooming in to your boyfriend’s face.

Mark’s eyes widen , confused, “what, why? Why?”

“Because his girlfriend is here!” Jaehyun screams into the mic as the boys let out a string of weird noises.

Mark froze on the spot as everyone went crazy over the statement.

“Wha—”

“Okay, we will end this concert here! Thank you everyone for coming!”

Before everyone was even ready to leave, you had already run to meet your boyfriend back stage.

Fuck, did Jaehyun actually say that?

You’re met with the sweaty boys laughing in the dressing room.

“What the fuck was that?” you ask breathlessly as you scan each of the boys facial expression.

“Uh oh, his girlfriend is here,” joked Johnny, staring at you with amusement.

Mark turned to stare at the boys, “you guys knew?!”

“You guys weren’t very discreet.”

You were already standing next to your boyfriend, “how did you guys know?”

“You really think we won’t see the both of you holding hands in a public place?” scoffs Doyoung.

Taeyong shrugs, “Mark never brings girls to the recording room.”

Your face turned red at Taeyong’s comment as Mark groans at his words.

“And you think I wouldn’t see you guys holding hands under the blanket? Jesus,” sighs Jaehyun, rolling his eyes.

“Fuck you,” Mark replies while Jaehyun flashes the middle finger to his friend.

“Also, you talk way too loud y/n,” Taeil says, Taeyong immediately agreeing with him.

“Or maybe the walls are too thin?” Taeyong questions.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, embarrassed. “So, you guys heard everything?”

“Wish we didn’t,” shrugs Johnny.

Mark had quietly reached for your hand, a habit he had whenever he’s nervous.

“Also, I knew Mark was at your place, that’s why I came over,” laughs Haechan.

You had let go of Mark’s hands to stomp over to the boy, hitting his back. “Lee Donhyuck! Did you know how long he had to wait in my wardrobe?!”

Haechan rolls his eyes, “oh please, you let him out because he was sweating.”

You let out a loud gasp, “you knew that too?!”

“Which idiot would put their password as 0000?”

“You went through my phone?!” you raised your voice, hitting the boy on the back once more.

With furrowed eyebrows you frown and let out a sigh, “now what? Everyone knows Mark has a girlfriend,”

“I checked Twitter,” Jungwoo says, “some weren’t very happy but there are many who are supportive,”

Your frown deepens. You knew this would happen. It would affect Mark’s career badly; that was the main reason the both of you kept your relationship a secret.

You turn to look at your boyfriend who was looking incredibly stressed right now.

“Don’t worry y/n,” assures Johnny, you turn to look at him. “Mark is one of the most experienced and hardworking people in SM, I’m sure they’ll let you both off,”

You had your arms crossed defensively, “are you okay with this, Mark?”

You were worried for your boyfriend.

You knew how much being on stage meant to him. He would do anything to continue performing.

“I…I think so?” he says after a minute of pure silence.

You pout slightly at his words.

“I just wanna rest right now, I’m tired.”

The boys quickly agree with the younger. Everyone started standing up, grabbing their bags, leaving the room.

You stayed with your boyfriend, accompanying him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you ask him again.

He kept letting out sad sighs and it was concerning you.

“Honestly,” he started, “I don’t know,” he turns to look at you.

The palm of your hands automatically going up to stroke his back, attempting to comfort him.

“I just… I just wanna be with you right now,”

You lean closer to him. “Okay.”

“Whatever it is,” he says, “we will go through it together.”

935 notes · View notes

corpsedaydream · 4 years

Text

crash

so, here i am with a new one shot.

so before anyone asks if i’m gonna be posting frequently again or anything, i process things by writing about them. if something is running through my mind over and over and i can’t think through it on my own in my mind, writing about it generally helps me. this past weekend was supposed to be a fun long weekend away w my friends but it quickly ended when i experienced something pretty traumatic. i haven’t been able to sleep at all the past couple nights and so i started working on this. originally it was just going to be something private to help myself w the panic i was feeling then i started adding a muse into it and then i realised i was still writing about corpse without even meaning to, so i guess he’s still got me feeling musey.

anyway, i thought about keeping this private bc i’m still rly shaken up about what happened but idk feels like a shame to just let it sit on my computer.

idk if i’m back to this blog yet, i still feel indifferent about it. i’m signed out on my phone and was signed out on my laptop until just now and haven’t opened my inbox.

anyway. here’s the one shot.

word count: 1666 words (i’m not kidding)

trigger warning: car crash, panic attack

__________________________________________________

crash

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.

The words repeated over and over in your head. You’d had dreams about crashing your car before, but usually you woke up just before the point of impact. This time you didn’t.

This couldn’t of happened, this can’t be real, this is a a dream, I’ve got to wake up.

But you were already very much awake, this was very much real.

The colour had already drained from your face, tears were welling up in your eyes and your heart had already sunk. Your hands were trembling, your chest was completely still, you weren’t breathing in that moment. Your body had reacted before your mind had completely caught up.

“Fuck.” Was all you managed to say as realisation had hit you. You’d gotten into a car crash.

You looked around you, wondering how the others cars on the road were still moving when it felt like your world had just come to a stop when your car had its collision. You heard your dad’s voice in your head, all the things he’d told you when he taught you how to drive, had - god forbid - you ever ended up in a situation like this.

You went through the motions as well as you could. You were in a state of shock and physically, you were definitely there, but mentally, you really weren’t present. You were having an out of body feeling in the most terrifying way, it was a defence from the panic that had overwhelmed you.

Corpse felt a surge of anxiety. He had no idea why, either. All he was doing was looking through fan art on twitter, he hadn’t seen anything that usually would make him feel like that. It just throttled its way into himself seemingly out of no where.

It was especially odd seeing that today had been such a good day. Waking up beside was usually something that put him in a good head space.

So he started to call you, you always made him feel better. But then he remembered you were driving and you were a cautious driver, you never answered your phone when you were behind the wheel. You’d told him in the past how tenacious your dad had been as a driving teacher and it had really stuck with you.

Just as he was about to hang up, knowing you weren’t going to answer, you did.

“Hello?” Something was off. Corpse heard it right away in just that one greeting from you.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t even greet you back, he already had anxiety running through him and the unsettling tone of your answer of the phone had only made it increase.

“I think so.” You were so monotoned. Corpse had never heard you speak this way. You were a lot of things, but monotone was not one. You were expressive, bright and dramatic.

“You think so?” He repeated in a questioning way, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Yeah.” You responded so plainly again. Corpse almost wanted to ask you who was he speaking to right now, because surely this couldn’t have been you. This person had your voice, but this was a person he did not know right now.

“What’s going on?”

“I crashed my car.” You said it to him so simply. There was no emotion behind it. His heart thundered as if a terrible hail storm had just broken out.

“What?!”

“I crashed my car.” You repeated. Once again so eerily unemotional.

“Where are you?!”

Corpse shouldn’t have been driving in the state he was in, but he needed to get to you. His emotions were running so high and he couldn’t comprehend why yours weren’t.

After what felt like the longest drive of his life, he reached the crash site. His panic peaked when he spotted the ambulance, immediately thinking the worst. But then he saw you standing to the side of it. You were up and talking to the paramedics, that was at least a good sign you weren’t seriously injured.

“(Y/N),” He called for you as he got out of his own car. And just like your voice on the phone, your movements were so robotic.

You were normally so open with your emotions, you were such a readable and honest person. When you were happy, you shined, when you were mad, you yelled red, when you were sad, you cried oceans. But Corpse had never seen you in a true state of shock. He’d never seen your fight or flight response. And apparently it was a stillness and unresponsive, the complete opposite to how you were normally.

“Are you okay?” He knew you probably weren’t, but he couldn’t find any clue to how you were feeling. Until his footsteps brought him closer to you.

You didn’t respond to him at all. Even words felt like too much right now. As he neared you, though, he spotted the signs of fear your body displayed that your words did not. Your hands and arms were trembling, your shoulders were slumped, your face was completely pale, sweat dotted all over your forehead despite it not being a hot day, tears were slowly spilling from your eyes one by one, your chest was moving unevenly as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Baby, c’mere.” Corpse didn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. Holding you so tenderly against him. That’s when he felt that it was more than just your arms and hands that were trembling, your entire body had a slight shake to it. He knew you were experiencing true terror in that moment.

The time between your banged up car getting placed onto a tow truck and arriving back at your apartment felt like a blur.

You’d just gotten off the phone with your insurance provider when you’d heard Corpse.

“Are you in any pain?”

"What?” You’d heard him perfectly but you hadn’t once thought about how this had affected you physically.

“Are you in any pain?” He repeated himself.

“I’m not sure.” And you weren’t, but the paramedics had said that adrenaline would be coursing through you right now and adrenaline was the biggest distraction from pain. “I’m gonna go have a shower.”

“Okay.” Corpse watched you with concerned eyes until you disappeared behind your bathroom door. He so badly wanted to help, wanted to make you feel better, break you out of this state you were in that he was so not used to.

You didn’t know how much time you’d spent in the shower. But it was long enough that the sky had grown darker and the moon had replaced the sun by the time you emerged. Once you’d gotten dressed, you made slow steps towards your bedroom. Your hands were trembling more violently than before and your breathing was speeding up.

The shock was finally wearing off and reality was getting ready to slap you hard across the face.

“Corpse...” Your voice was so silent, almost as if you couldn’t form a word due to the air that seemed harder and harder to breathe as a panic attack started to take control of you.

Corpse might not have even heard you had he not been on such high alert for you right now. But he was, and so he did he hear you and when he saw the state you were in, he instantly got up from his spot on your bed where he was waiting for you and was wrapping you up tight.

You were hyperventilating so dangerously, your heart felt like it was being encased in treacherous clouds that tightened with every intake of air you struggled to get.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had cried this way. You were breaking down.

Corpse was completely holding you up. Had it not been for him, you would be a crumbled heap on the floor.

The both of you didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you were close to drifting off, the crash would replay in your mind on an insufferable loop and you would jolt awake and the panic would restart all over.

And every time, Corpse was right there to hold you through it. He didn’t sleep due to how concerned he was about you.

The next day was a little easier mentally, but a lot harder physically. You’d gotten so much emotion out the night before that now the pain could have your attention.

Everything from your hips up felt sore, stiff and tense. Every time you moved your neck was scary because it felt like it was about to snap. But worst of all was your chest. It was hard and painful to breathe. The paramedics had warned you about this. The impact to your chest was going to take the longest to recover from. You kept your breathing shallow, any other kind of breathing made you wince and Corpse noticed.

“You’re hurting.” It wasn’t a question, he was stating what he noticed. He’d known the signs of someone in pain. Plus he had also taken note of the bruises that had appeared on your skin, the colouring of them looking like a painting of a galaxy, all purple and blue.

“A little bit.”

“Mhm.” He knew it was more than a little bit, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He looked over you laying beside him, grateful that you were still here, you were alive. A car could be replaced, but you could not.

You were flat on your back because that was really only the current position that felt even the tiniest bit comfortable right now. Corpse was on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he leaned over you. His other hand began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair and you let your eyes flutter close at the touch.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled back, keeping your eyes shut and feeling exhaustion take over you.

“Try sleeping, baby. I’ll be right here.”

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse imagine #writing #mine

639 notes · View notes

loveylangdon · 4 years

Text

If You Don’t I Will

Word count: 3.3k

JJ Maybank x Reader : showing jj subtle ways of how you care for him and John B is tired of him not seeing it

A/N: I wrote another JJ thing bc im a simp and I love him and this was also another idea thats been floating around. Fluff is you squint but you dont need to squint hard, next will def be angst bc I live for it Xx

masterlist

*not my gif full credit to owner*

“Hey” you let out as you carry 2 bags of groceries into the cheateu seeing the boys lounging on the couch gathered around John B’s phone you hear a chorus of “hey’s” as you move towards the kitchen. John B looks up and hands his phone to JJ making his way out the front door sending you a wink. Rolling your eyes you follow John B outside to your car.

“You didn’t have to,” John B says smiling at you grabbing a grocery bag from your trunk shooting you a look

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” you smile innocently to him and make your way over to grab the last grocery bag. You reach past John B until you feel his arm wrap over your shoulder, putting his grocery bag down he wraps his other arm around your shoulder engulfing you in a full hug laying his cheek at the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his torso and give him a squeeze

“Thank you really” he lets out into your hair. You just give him a hug, you haven’t known them for long but John B automatically became like your brother and JJ was definitely your confidant. When you heard about Big John and Uncle T leaving John B by himself, your heart broke. John B had to support himself and apparently JJ was a constant resident in the chateau and it got harder to support themselves even if they both pitched in. When you found out always being smart with your money you set some aside to help supply the chateau so the boys wouldn’t starve.

JJ broke down one night during a late night smoke sesh you two had to get away from everything. He ended up telling you about his dad and mom in its entirety. After that you guys were kind of inseparable.You told him about why you had to move to OBX and he told you where his bruises and split knuckles came from. You never would’ve guessed one of the most caring people you knew would have to go through that. After that you subtly did more little things that hopefully made it easier on him.

When you joined the Pogues you fell for his blue eyes and wild personality instantly his careless but protective nature made you fall hard but there was the rule. No Pogue on Pogue macking. Still fairly new to obx barely being here for a year you didn’t know how real the rule was. Being extra nice to JJ consisted of bringing extra of his favorite beer or asking him to buy you joints even though you didn’t smoke often, you would let him keep them, noticing his favorite snacks and bringing them on boat trips. Kie gladly gave up the title of caretaker and let you take over the snacks and picnics for day trips. After JJ told you his secret he made it clear that he didn’t take pity or handouts, you didn’t pity JJ you loved him and just wanted to make sure he knew it.

So you helped JJ whenever you could making it seem like you were doing it by pure coincidence, knowing that he lived with John B you helped out the house, in general, to make it less obvious. Claiming you all spent so much time there any way it wasn’t fair to not help stock the necessities.

Breaking away from your thoughts “I’m here for you guys always” you squeeze John B once more after you feel him loosening his grip “Let’s go I got ice cream” as John B fist bumps you snort “Oh I also got a better first aid kit” handing John B the second bag you move to the passenger side of the car. Hearing John B go back into the house you grab the first aid kit and hear footsteps as you open the back seat door to grab blankets.

“What are the blankets for,” JJ asks questionably moving over to you to help grab some and you see him eye the first aid kit before you tuck it into a blanket

“For movie night. You can’t have a horror movie night without tons of blankets JJ it’s like against the rules” You quickly come up with the excuse. In all honesty it was starting to get colder and knowing the Chateau has minimal heating capacity you were going to accidentally leave them in the house and let the boys use them. The last time you were here late you asked JJ to borrow a sweater or a blanket and he gave you the one he was wearing and soon realized it was probably the only one you’ve seen him wear ever. Noticing Kie always brought her own blanket you assumed they were more supplied for the warmer days. John B was a big boy he would ask for help when he needed it JJ, on the other hand, was stubborn as hell and would rather freeze then ask for anything to help.

“Okay” JJ says questionably not believing you entirely but not questioning it further “Are you staying tonight?” He asks you can see a glimmer of hope in his ocean eyes as he leans against the car door

“Yeah I think so” you smile and nod at him closing the car up “Are you?”

“No I’m just asking you so you can share my bed with Kie” he deadpans and your cheeks flush

“Sorry” you squint up at him and you see him smile his “sharky smile” “Are Pope and Kie staying too?”

“I think so” he nods at you biting his lip and you know he wants to add something but doesn’t

“Can I share a bed with you?” You ask assuming that’s what he wanted to ask “if I have to share a room with both Pope and Kie I might jump off the end of the dock, plus I got those joints still and extra snacks” you chuckle out trying to bribe him like you even have to. You see relief and a cute smile grace his features and you know that’s what he was trying to ask without even asking

“Yeah you can crash with me, I like you the most anyways” he winks at you and nods towards the house “Have you eaten yet?” He asks you softly as you walk up the driveway “Pope and John B went to help Heyward earlier while I went to work and apparently they ate already” JJ trails off and you frown knowing there hasn’t been food at the chateau in a couple of days and John B has been incognito

“I can make us food,” you say and he perks up “I haven’t eaten yet” you continue which is a lie but he doesn’t need to know that “I bought stuff to make that shrimp thing you were talking about the other day” and you see his face light up as you walk into the house you smile at him and you can see pink dust his cheeks at the fact you remembered that small detail. He puts the blankets down taking the ones in your hands as well and wraps you in a hug carrying you to the kitchen leaving you in a fit of laughter. You see Pope peek his head out over the freezer with raised eyebrows

“What are you doing,” he asks confused as to why you’re wrapped in JJs arms

“Get out Pope y/n is making our food” he throws a look at Pope as he sets you down making Pope return a hurt one

“You guys suck” he huffs out going back into the living room

JJ sits on the counter as you start to pull out ingredients to make his food, John B put the groceries away thankfully and you hum to a random tune

“Thank you” JJ lets out in almost a whisper and you look up at him and see he’s playing with the rings on his fingers a nervous habit he has while looking at his lap not making eye contact

“For what” you feign innocence even though his small thank you made your heart flutter knowing your efforts and little signs of affection didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde boy. Moving to the stove to heat it up JJ finally looks at you and he shrugs his shoulders softly before twiddling his thumbs in his lap

“For taking the time to care about me” he shrugs again like he’s not worth the effort, you go to say something and he cuts you off looking at you with his ocean eyes making you forget how to breathe for a second, sincerity is swimming through them and you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach “I know you had dinner with Kie already. She told me you guys were gonna eat at The Wreck during her break if I wanted to pass by before you went to run errands which I’m assuming was getting food for here” your face flushes at being caught lying about dinner “I also saw the first aid kit you bought, and Its a nice one. I almost stole one just like it from the pharmacy a while back and I know John B doesn’t need one that good” he goes back to looking at his thumbs “And I know the blankets aren’t just for the movie night” He shoots you a knowing look causing you to blush and smile at him, taking a moment in the comforting silence you assume the boys are outside messing around

Humming you smile giddily not confirming or denying “Okay I’m gonna make you food now go away” you joke shooing him out of the kitchen

He gasps in shock “You wound me” he clutches his chest with both his hands and falls back against the cabinets “Treating me how I treat Pope now that’s cold” He gets off of the counter still clutching his chest moving closer towards you

“Leave” you squeal at him as he traps you in between his arms and the sink, he leans in and you think he’s going to finally kiss you, heart beating so fast you think he could hear it if he got any closer. His eyes flicker to your lips and back to your eyes as he licks his lips your breath hitches in your throat, he leans down to place a kiss on your cheek leaving the kitchen and going outside. Watching him retreat you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jesus Christ” you huff and go back to making his food with a big smile on your face

____

“Holy shit” JJ practically moans at the smell coming in from the kitchen “I can’t even think of the last home cooked meal I’ve had what about you John B” You hear JJ ask as him as they walk back into the Chateau,

“Uh I think-” John B starts but is cut off by JJ

“That was rhetorical bro shut up” you hear them walk into the living room and see them come into the kitchen “we know you have a secret kook family chill” JJ lets out referring to the fact that John B disappears some nights and during the day and no one knows why. Causing a laugh to come from you and a scoff from John B

“That smells delicious y/n” John B lets out which earns a mean look from JJ

“You can’t have any” JJ says defensively “she made it for me and her you guys are all traitors eating without us” JJ winks at you “what happened to Pogues together for life” JJ adds pointing a finger at John B as you try to stifle a laugh grabbing plates

John B looks at JJ with the most unamused look you’ve ever seen which causes a burst of laughter from you. Catching John B’s attention he gives you a look as if asking if JJ is serious, you shrug your shoulders as John B scoffs “I welcome you into my home JJ and this is how you repay me” He tsks opening a beer for you and placing it on the counter by your plates, he gives you a side hug and places a kiss on your forehead before retreating outside to help Pope and Kie with a projector she found in her garage. As he walks through the living room you hear “Eat your food dumbass, and if you don’t marry her I will” John B shouts out and you immediately turn to look at John B who has his beer raised in the air “Salud” and he walks out of the Cheateu.

Turning to JJ his face is beat red and you let out a small laugh as JJ groans mumbling something about murdering John B “Here eat tough guy I’m gonna grab blankets for outside” you say as you place a plate in front of JJ. You’re about to walk into John B’s room when you feel JJ grab your hand

“Stay please” he lets out a smile while tugging on your wrist gently patting the spot next to him, you can tell he wants to say something again but you can’t tell what its gonna be because he’s looking down at his plate of food. Your foot starts tapping the floor a nervous tick you have when you can’t tell how something is gonna play out. His head snaps to your knee placing his hand there gently to stop it and he looks up at you “Don’t do that, not around me” he lets out looking at you

“wha-”

“You do that when your nervous or unsure of a situation” he squeezes your knee in a comforting motion giving you a small smile at your confused expression, “You think you’re the only one who notices things around here” he shoots you a look and his eyes go wide trying to cover up his confession with a chuckle

“Do you JJ Maybank have feelings for little old me” you shoot him an amused look with a gasp. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he looks at you sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while pink tints his cheeks

“Hey, Lovebirds we got the movie set up come on” you hear John B yell from outside. You move to get up and JJ stops you looking up at you with a look of concentration before he exhales

“I like you y/n a lot actually and it’s scaring me. I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not used to this or feeling wanted, hell even wanting to be around one person constantly is new for me. You are this incredible person who came out of fucking nowhere and the first thing you did was make sure everyone is taken care of. I didn’t even notice what you would do for me at first because I was so angry at everything. John B pointed it out to me when we found more of my favorite snacks in the cupboard than his” he let out a chuckle and you did too “He told me to stop being stupid and I realized then all the small things you would do for me like when I wouldn’t eat with you guys you brought food, or extra snacks on boat trips when you knew I was going home after, you and Kie would go shopping and you literally got me a hoodie because you told me it reminded you of me. No one has cared about me in the way you have and I’m so sorry for not realizing it sooner” you squeeze his hand gently reassuring him noticing his voice waiver “you’re so strong and stubborn but god if it didn’t make me fall for you harder, and I wasn’t gonna say anything because there is no way in hell that I’m good enough for you, I mean seriously I don’t know what you see-” cutting him off you place a kiss to his lips to shut him up, he places his hand on the side of your neck holding your jaw melting into the kiss. This is what heaven feels like you think. This blonde haired blue eyed prince. JJ breaks apart and rests his forehead against yours smiling like an idiot

“I like you a lot actually too, if you couldn’t tell” you whisper out causing him to let out a laugh placing a chaste kiss to your lips, pulling you into his lap, your back to his chest as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck before you move to face him “Oh” you let out and he looks confused, you shoot him a look and he smirks. Hitting his chest playfully “get your head out of the gutter”

“I know exactly where I would like my head to be” he smirks placing a kiss to your pulse. Rolling your eyes at him you start off “If I hear you talk bad about yourself I will fight you Maybank do you hear me” you look at him knowingly and he raised his eyebrows as if telling you to proceed “That is a fight you will lose every time. I can promise you,” you look at him softly “you deserve the world and all the love that comes with it, you care so much about your friends you’re willing to do anything to protect them literally anything” emphasizing the literally he lets out a chuckle “You are so kind, generous always giving even when you don’t have much yourself that’s what I love about you. There is more good than what you define yourself as and if you have doubts I will be more than glad to fight them with you” you let out rubbing your thumb on his cheek which he nuzzles into until he crashes his lips into yours again.

“I thought you were eating, you haven’t even started are you kidding? YOU GUYS ARE MACKING we’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes” John B lets out from the doorway of the house raising his arms in a what the fuck motion, causing you both to laugh “J I’m proud of you for finally telling her, but Jesus come on guys the foods all cold, we don’t even have snacks because you’re distracting y/n, we’re dying out here” he fake whines

“Sorry John B” you let out a smile knowing you usually prepare the snacks for movie nights but got distracted

“My girlfriend is not your Slave John B get your own snacks” JJ jokes holding onto you tighter

“Says the guy she made dinner for but hasn’t even touched it yet!” John B says dramatically “honestly the disrespect happening in this house, everything is all out of wack,” John B says going to the fridge and grabbing a case of beer and candy making his way back outside before he turns around heading back to you and JJ “Actually,” he says out loud before taking JJ’s plate with food taking a bite and moaning at the taste John B continues “I’m serious y/n if he doesn’t marry you I will” he gets out with a mouth full of food, moving slightly to avoid JJ arms that are trying to swat him for taking his food. John B walks out of the house leaving you two alone again

“I’ll get you another plate, grab the blankets?” you ask chuckling as you move to get JJ another plate of food but he stops you.

Taking his pinky ring off his finger he places it on your fingers trying to find the best fit, finally, it fits on your middle finger, a little loose but not by much, he chuckles “maybe I’ll get you a chain for it” he states chuckling he kisses your knuckles when he’s done “Not an engagement ring but a temporary promise ring until we get you a real one so John B can stop trying to steal you from me.”

“I think its perfect” He smiles bright placing a kiss on your lips and you know that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be

________

A/N: so I wrote another jj thing bc who is not a whore for jj especially soft jj. Roughly edited but not really, this has been floating in my head for a while so feedback and commentary is again always welcome my inbox is always open I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did Xx

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sooyoungl0vr · 3 years

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when you’re a little | nct dream

genre! fluff, angst if you squint, boyfriend!au, littlespace!au warnings! mentions of trauma with past partners pairing! nct dream x gn!reader author’s note! i am not a little myself but i’m not totally sure about this yet lololol but for now i am not...!, but i would really like to learn more about little space and reading or writing about it helps me out a lot! i really love little space aus and hopefully i didn’t get anything wrong, but if i did, please feel free to dm me about it or leave it in the comments! <3 lowercase intended! dedication! to all those who loved my last dream reaction :( it did so well and it warms my heart that people liked it! :3 not proofread! most, if not all, of my work aren’t teehee

꒰ mark lee! ꒱

you probably haven’t gotten around telling mark about this part of you up until you fell into little space after seeing renjun’s moomin stuffie. your eyes grow wide, giggles escaping your lips.

“moomin-ie!” you rush towards the stuffie, pulling it closer to your chest, giggles and squeals spill out of your mouth as the rest of the dreamies watch in shock. you had completely forgotten about how they didn’t know, you didn’t want them to yet, but all that was thrown out the window as soon as your eyes found the stuffie.

“daddy! look at moomin-ie! he’s so cute!” your eyes sparkled as you turned to mark, who thought you looked so adorable and small in that moment.

“he does, baby.” smiling, albeit very confused, mark walks towards you, caressing your arm softly. he had read into little space before, purely out of curiosity but the information had still been hazy, kept at the back of his mind.

renjun eyes you nervously, his teeth chewing at his bottom lip “she will be giving that back... right?”

꒰ huang renjun! ꒱

you find yourself almost slipping into little space every time you visit renjun’s dorm, eyeing the stuffies placed neatly on his bed.

you had been dating renjun for a couple months now, his presence never failed to make you feel safe and comfortable. you didn’t mean to hide being a little from him, but with the way your ex had reacted, you were purely afraid.

“y/n? are you okay?” renjun laughs, finding your infatuation with his stuffies adorable. your small smile causes his laughs to cease and his brows to furrow.

“i’m a little.” you wince, feeling the abrupt change in mood. renjun raises his eyebrow, clearly not expecting your response.

“okay...” renjun doesn’t really understand, but he watches as you tear up and look away from him. “w-will you leave me now?”

his heart breaks, he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you and he wasn’t going to do so just because of one more thing to love about you.

“no! of course not.” he coos, pulling you into his lap and stroking your hair. unknowingly, you’re finally dragged into little space. your fists clutch his shirt as he tries to hush your cries.

“i’m here, doll.”

꒰ lee jeno! ꒱

jeno had been practicing all day, leaving you alone in your small apartment. it had been your one year anniversary, your plans of spending the day with him at your place completely spiraling down the drain.

“i guess he forgot...” feeling the heavy feeling in your chest triggered your little space as you tear up, sifting your play room for a teether and a stuffie.

tears streamed down your face as you made your way to your living room, settling yourself on the couch and turning on your favorite disney movie.

after a couple hours, jeno knocks gently on your door, feeling absolutely wrecked and guilty, but he waits. he frowns, the lack of response not really being a normal thing for you. with that, he decides to come in, finding you snuggled in your favorite blanket, the end credits of your movie playing softly in the background.

his eyes catch the sight of your teether, confusing him slightly. “d-daddy..?”

your eyes flutter open, red and puffy. jeno’s heart constricts as he immediately pulls you into his arms, despite his obvious confusion and slight hesitance, he shushes you as he strokes your hair.

“i’ve got you angel, i’m so so sorry.”

꒰ lee donghyuck! ꒱

unlike the previous members, you had already come clean with him at the start of your relationship. with past partners, it hadn’t really ended well all because of the fact that you’re a little. you had really liked donghyuck, and you weren’t going to give yourself hope if he didn’t want you anymore.

his eyes would flash with confusion, the term obviously being new to him. “it’s kinda like being in the head space of a child? it’s my way of coping with stress or anxious situations...”

you had carefully explained to him, feeling sheepish as a pink tint blazed your cheeks. his mouth form an ‘O’ shape, the term now becoming familiar to him.

“oh! so like, i’ll be your caregiver now, right?” he smiles, his hand reaching out to hold yours. your jaw slacks in shock, his willingness to care for you without a hint of hesitance is new to you. “y-yeah.”

you smile, the blush still harsh on your cheeks, pushing donghyuck to laugh and poke your cheeks while mumbling about how cute you looked right now.

꒰ na jaemin! ꒱

jaemin smiles as your eyes start to flutter close, but you keep fighting against them. “baby, you can go to sleep.”

his hand plays with your hair, pushing you to snuggle closer to him. you pout, shaking your head, your attention never leaving the tv sat in front of the both of you.

“no, daddy! he’s about to fly around with her, see!” you whine, motioning towards the bright scene, a whole new world playing softly in the background.

smiling, jaemin watches as you yawn, the song finishing after a moment, your small figure finally giving into much needed sleep. he continues to watch you for a second, a blush residing on his face.

he lets you fall into a deeper slumber for a moment, before clicking the tv off and picking you up from the couch, ensuring your blanket is still wrapped tightly around you. he moves slowly towards his bedroom, an abundance of stuffies laying on his bed. he picks a soft white bunny, and places it in your hold, your small hands grabbing at the stuffie almost immediately.

jaemin grins, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “sleep well, my love.”

꒰ zhong chenle! ꒱

“baby! you have to eat your veggies!” chenle sighs, your pout proving to be very hard to resist.

“but daddy! they’re ickie!” you whine, sipping up your milk from the cup he had gifted you a month prior. chenle huffs, crossing his arms. “not eating your veggies mean you don’t get cuddles tonight, little one.”

you gasp at the thought, the punishment being one of the many you couldn’t stand. chenle raises his eyebrow at you, his eyes never wavering. pouting, you knew he was serious. and so, ever so hesitantly, you place one piece of brocolli in your mouth.

smiling, chenle immediately praises you. “that’s my good girl! now finish the rest, please.” chenle coos, ruffling your hair, ignoring the complete annoyance in your face.

꒰ park jisung! ꒱

jisung truly had no idea about little space. so after you tell him your secret, he agrees to being your caregiver and you couldn’t be any happier.

thunder cracks loudly, causing you to jump from your deep sleep, tears forming in your eyes. jisung isn’t in your bed, your cries getting louder every second.

“d-daddy?” you cry, holding your stuffie close as you wander out of your room, finding him sitting on the couch, his attention completely taken by the laptop in front of him. “daddy!”

your cry startles him, but his eyes soften as your tears continue to drip down your cheeks.

“y/n! i’m so sorry.” he gasps, pushing the laptop off his lap and bringing you onto it instead. his hand strokes your hair as you tremble in his arms, your tears soaking his shirt.

“it’s alright now, my princess.”

his laptop sits next to them, the screen dimming ever so slightly, the words how to be a good caregiver seem to fade along with the screen.

no bc i love them?? so much?? they make me feel so safe no joke T-T

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headheartbellarke · 4 years

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JEALOUS | Luke Patterson

Requested by anon: “5 times Luke gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have too. Luke x reader?”

PAIRING(s): Mercer!fem reader x Luke Patterson WARNING(s): angst, fluff WORDS: 2.3k SUMMARY: Five times Luke Patterson gets jealous and one time he doesn’t have to.

A/N: hi! sorry this took so long, lol. school sucks. :/ i promise im gonna be posting more frequently from now onwards! anyway, decided to make y/n alex’ sister, bc i’ve been wanting to try it for a while. hope u like it!! <3 also, song used is carry me by kygo ft. julia michaels.

The first time that Luke Patterson feels that scorching, smoldering rage in the pit of his stomach is when he notices Y/N Mercer stare at his bandmate, Bobby Wilson, for the entirety of their hour-long Literature class.

At first, he doesn’t understand why he feels this way: Y/N’s just as much Bobby’s friend as she is his. Well, not really – Luke likes to believe that he is the one that she is closest to in the band, other than her brother, Alex, of course. Sure, Bobby and Y/N are friends – they say ‘hi’ when they pass by each other in the hallway, she helps him out with his Physics homework when he asks, and he asks her how her day’s been – that sort of friends. They’ve never really interacted more than it was required, and Luke knows that if Bobby wasn’t a part of their band, Sunset Curve, or if Y/N wasn’t their drummer’s sister, those two wouldn’t be friends.

Anyway, he thinks that maybe it’s because they are supposed to be partners, working on their assignment together – and instead, she is choosing to abandon him and stare at one of his best mates, instead. He thinks that maybe he’s mad because she promised him that she would help him out with this assignment, which is particularly hard, and now, it feels like he’s ditching her.

Instead of thinking about why he is so bothered at the fact that Y/N is staring at Bobby, Luke chooses to elbow her instead.

“What?” She whispers, a blush covering her cheeks.

“Can you focus?” He snaps as she rolls her eyes and opens their textbook.

“You’re annoying.”

“Alex, Alex, Alex!”

“Luke, I’m sitting right beside you – you don’t need to yell.”

“There’s something that you should know.” Luke whispers, conspiratorially. Alex, who’s sitting beside him on the couch in the garage where they rehearse, leans forward, intrigued. “What?”

He points at Y/N, who’s sitting in front of Reggie in the opposite side of the room, strumming a guitar – Reggie’s teaching her how to play. Unlike her twin brother, she’s not naturally gifted in music, which is pretty evident from her occasional frustrated huffs, and the obviously off-key tune. Rather, science is her talent, and has always been. The top spot in their class has been permanently occupied by her ever since their first exam as freshmen.

“She!” Luke whispers. Alex furrows his brows. “Yes, I know that she has no musical talent whatsoever –”

“No, no, no. I mean, yes, she doesn’t have that – but you wanna know what she does?”

“I have a feeling that you’re gonna tell me even if I don’t wanna know.” Alex mutters.

“She has a crush on Bobby!” Luke scrunches his face, a disgusted look taking over.

The drummer raises his brows and bursts out laughing. “Really, dude?”

“No, no, no, I’m not lying, okay! I’ve seen her stare at him!”

He raises his brows. “So? She stares at a lot of people.”

“It wasn’t that way, okay? Last week, in class, she was ignoring me and staring at him. Plus, yesterday, when you were god knows where, she and Bobby were having a conversation. An actual conversation! I’ve never seen them talk that much. They were nerding out over Star Wars!”

“Dude, are you…” Alex pauses, looking around, “… jealous?” A smile spreads over his features.

Luke’s eyes widen, and he looks horrified. “What? Me? Jealous? Huh? Me? How?”

Inside, he is panicking. He hadn’t considered this possibility. Is he jealous? No, that can’t be. Y/N – he’s known her forever, and he is supposed to think of her as his sister. He does think so. He’s sure. He can’t – he doesn’t like her. She’s just… Y/N. Sure, he’s always thought that she’s beautiful. And smart. And so, so kind. He’s always admired her. OK, he might have had a little crush on her. But, in a totally harmless, admiring way! (In the way everyone seems to like Winona Ryder these days. Nothing more than that. Absolutely.)

She’s just Y/N.

Y/N, who’s always there for him after he has a bad day. Y/N, who’s the first person he hugs after playing an intense show. Y/N, who’s the only person who can understand his silence. Y/N, who makes sure that he knows that she appreciates him. Y/N, who he knows like the back of his hand.

Before Luke can panic any further, Bobby enters the garage, and Luke notices her attention immediately shift toward him. They exchange a smile, and Luke feels that rage, yet again.

He falls back on the couch, locking eyes with Alex, who is silently watching with a soft smile on his face.

“I’m not jealous.” He says weakly, and Alex nods – but he knows that it doesn’t convince either of them. His friend lays a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “It’s okay.”

By the time the next month rolls around, Luke is positive that he’s jealous: so, he’s resorted to not thinking about it, her or even interacting with her – which is hard considering that she’s always around.

Now, he feels like shit. For their junior year, they are supposed to do a report on a Victorian era novel of their choice, with a partner. He and Y/N were supposed to partners – they had decided months ago and have also done previous assignments together. But now, since he hasn’t even dared to look at her in a month, she’s now doing the report with Bobby, of all people.

As he watches Bobby and Y/N sit next to each other with their arms brushing, he feels that rage again, and curses himself. Could he not have behaved like a normal person? He knows that she is confused as to why he’s suddenly ignoring and avoiding her – she has even asked her brother about it. But Luke had threatened Alex that he would tell everyone about his crush on Reggie if he even said a single syllable.

(Although Luke knows that he would never.)

He sighs, dramatically, and searches for someone else to pair up with, ignoring the way his heart clenches at the realization that he may be losing her.

“Luke?”

He looks up and feels a rush in his veins.

“Are you… mad at me?” Y/N asks tentatively, standing at the door to his bedroom. Her eyes keep flitting between his face and around his bedroom, and he hates the fact that there seems to be an ocean between them.

“Uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, not knowing what to respond. She looks down at her feet, biting her lip and Luke feels a tug on his heartstrings at that. It’s been so, so long and he has so, so much to tell her, but he doesn’t know how to bridge the gap that he created.

He builds up his courage and says, “Yeah. I was kinda mad at you.”

Her eyebrows furrow, and panic flows into her e/c eyes. “What – what’d I do?”

Luke inhales sharply and wonders what he’s gonna say. It’s not like he can say that he was jealous of the fact that she liked Bobby, nor could he say that in the past month he has realized the fact that he may have a tiny, little crush on her and had to avoid her at all costs because she will never like him back and it’s too embarrassing?

He clears his throat. “Uh. It’s because you promised that you would do the English project with me but you’re doing it with Bobby.”

“But I’m only doing it with him because you won’t even look at me! Why won’t you?”

“I… You also ignored me for Bobby the other day?”

She throws her hands up. “What other day?”

“When we were working on the Shakespeare thingy!”

“I was not – now you’re making –”

“Forget it. Just go home, Y/N.”

A look of hurt flashes over her eyes, but she quickly clenches her jaw, and stands straighter, masking her emotions. “Asshole.”

She walks out his door, slamming the door shut behind her.

For the rest of the day, Luke lies on his bed and stares at his ceiling, and when Reggie comes over, he tells him that he’s ruined everything. Reggie lies beside him and asks softly, “You okay?”

“I think I like Y/N.” He whispers.

“We know.”

His lips part and he says in disbelief, “Alex told you?!”

Reggie shrugs. “He didn’t need to. Everyone can see the way that you look at her.”

Luke sighs, too tired to argue.

“Hey. It’s just a date, alright? It’s not like they’re getting married.”

Luke props himself on his elbow. “What?”

“Y’know, Y/N’s really picky –”

“What date?”

Reggie’s eyes widen. “Y-You didn’t know?”

Luke raises his brows, urging his friend to continue. He purses his lips and says, “Y/N and Bobby are on a date right now.”

Instantly, Luke feels as if his world has drained of every colour. Reggie looks uncomfortable, and whispers, “I thought you knew.”

“I, uh, I didn’t. Obviously.” He whispers, falling back on the bed again. His heart physically hurts, and he can feel tears prick at the back of his eyes. Mostly, he feels anger – at himself, and regret.

As jealousy claws its way to the surface, Luke mutters, “I hate Bobby.”

Luke sits cross legged on the floor of the garage, with a Spanish guitar perched on his lap. His hands dance over the strings, trying to find the perfect melody for the song he just wrote.

Writing songs has always been his way of dealing with his emotions, especially when they got too intense. Right now, the situation with Y/N is exactly that.

His eyes dance over the notebook in front of him, and he closes his eyes, trying to forget everything that’s happened in the past couple of days.

“Cause I don't know how we How we got so far, you and me Almost like there's oceans between us, us So I need to know Could you carry me? Back into your heart again Could you carry me? Right into your distant hands Could you carry me? Right back to where we started from Could you carry me?”

“That’s beautiful.”

Luke’s head turns sharply to the side, and of course, it’s her. He clenches his jaws, and says, “What are you doing here?” He hates the fact that she looks so pretty, wearing a beautiful red sundress.

She bites her lower lip, and says, “We should talk, Luke.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

She giggles. “You’ve always been the jealous type.”

He raises his brows, opening his mouth to deny whatever she was about to say next, but she raises a hand to stop him. “Alex and Reg told me. They said that they’re tired of seeing you mope every day.”

“I –”

“Hold on. So, for the past month, you’ve been mad at me because you thought I like Bobby?”

Luke lowers his head, choosing to stare at his open palm instead.

“You ignored one of your best friends for more than a month because you were jealous, and you were too much of an idiot to tell her the truth?”

“Well, you don’t gotta be so mean about it.”

She laughs. “Luke. Bobby and I – we’re just friends, okay? I was staring at him because I really liked his hair. And you have to admit it – it’s nice. I actually asked him for his shampoo, too. But, well, you and him both thought that I liked him. That’s why he asked me out to the movies last day. But... uh, well, it didn’t work out.”

His heart races at the last sentence. “Why?”

“Because I like you, Luke. I always have. I thought I could like Bobby, I really did – but all I could think about last night was you.” She shrugs, and Luke feels like he’s falling. He thinks that the universe is playing a prank on him, but when he sees her crimson tinged face, the vulnerability in her eyes and her fiddling with her hands, he allows himself to feel the slightest amount of hope.

She looks down, continuing, “I, uh, I always thought that you only saw me as your best friend’s little sister. I didn’t ever think that, you know, that there could be something more. So, I kept it to myself and only Alex knew. But, last night, Reg came over and they were screaming for a while, about you and me, so I went to find out what happened, and they told me that you, uh, liked me too.”

Reggie. He must have told Alex that Luke was ugly crying on his shoulder.

“Please say something, Luke.”

He releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I – I feel like you’re pranking me.”

She grins. “No. No, definitely not.”

“Y/N, god, you have no idea how difficult this past month has been for me. I mean, I never realized that I liked you that much until I saw you with him, you know? I always thought that I had a tiny, little crush on you but I never… and I thought that Alex would kill me if I did anything, but he’s been oddly… nice about all this.”

“He’s just tired of hearing me talk about you.”

“Probably. But yeah. I think you’re brilliant, Mercer. And I really, really, really like you.”

She jumps a little, and whispers, “I really, really, really like you too.”

“Do you maybe wanna go to the movies with me?” His wide grin matches hers.

“Only if we watch part two of Father of The Bride.”

“Deal.”

+1.

Luke watches Bobby smile at Y/N, looking at her as if she’s put the moon in the sky. Although, this time, he doesn’t feel the rage. He doesn’t need to, really, with Y/N’s hand wrapped in his, and the ghost of her lips still lingering on his.

requests open! as always, feedback is highly appreciated <33

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ncssian · 4 years

Text

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time.

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.”

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones.

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus.

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past.

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father—

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today.

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot.

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being.

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts.

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers.

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him.

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire.

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed.

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow.

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.”

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work.

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in.

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #ncssianwrites #a favor #nessian fic

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nepenthendline · 4 years

Text

Gentle Loving - Tendou

A little N*FW at the end but mainly fluffy this is purely a self-indulgent fic of sucking tendou’s dick for the first time, featuring somewhat a bodyworship kink aka I want tendou to be loved, also kind of a smut alternative to insecurity i guess? It’s in the same setting and about the same stuff so you can read it as a part two or an alternative lol this also goes along with my mental health headcanons for tendou but I’ll keep it pretty vague

this is pretty damn long btw (2.5k words), I have a lot of tendou feelings ok

Tagging @togasknifes bc she had to sit through me complaining about this, and @pudding-head-kenma bc mingi

TW: very very slight, brief hint at self-harm scarring

The two of you had been cuddling in bed watching anime for the last couple hours; it was one of your favourite ways to spend time together while indulging in your hobby. You were tucked in his side with your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and his around you. Every now and then, between comments of the action on the screen, he would lean down and brush kisses on the top of your head. His fingers grazed up and down your arm, setting your skin alight with his warmth. Even after months of being together his touch still managed to provoke the butterflies in your stomach, yet make you feel so calm and safe.

Your turned your head from his chest to look up at him. His wide, glowing eyes were entranced by the flashing of the screen, and his jawline seemed so chiselled from the shadow. The red hair that he shaved off a couple weeks ago had started to grow back in small, fuzzy waves that contrasted his smooth, pale skin. His pink lips were parted slightly and curled up in an anticipating smile; sometimes they even moved along with the words of the characters that he had heard so many times before. You’ve always thought of him as handsome, but right now, he really was the most beautiful sight in the world.

You leaned up from his grasp to plant a gentle kiss on the edge of his jaw, just like you had done many times before. His eyes trailed over to meet yours and gave you a sweet grin, then turning back to his laptop in front of him. Your gaze didn’t move though, as you tucked your head into his neck and placed tentative kisses along the skin, trailing from just below his ear to his collarbone. Your actions didn’t have much intention behind them besides enjoying the feeling of his burning skin against your lips, and his pulse that shook under your touch. As you were about to raise your head to repeat your actions, Tendou’s mouth had captured yours.

After a few first gentle kisses, you placed your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. His tongue brushed against your lower lip, giving you permission to deepen your movements. With each kiss, your nose bumped against his, and his grip on your waist got tighter. This certainly wasn’t the first time the two of you had lost yourself in each other’s affection this way, but you had never progressed further. Whenever things seemed to get a little more heated, one of you would pull away and put out the flame to relight another day.

But there was something in you this time that wanted more. The way that his fingers dug into your hips, how his hair felt so soft in your touch, and how his eyes looked extraordinarily intense. You wanted to pour your love onto him, make him feel all the admiration and desire you felt for him.

Shuffling the laptop away with your hand, you moved your leg over to be seated on his lap. He didn’t seem to refuse your action in any way, so with both hands on either side of his face, you delved back in to the kiss. One of his hands had found its way into your hair, tugging it ever-so-slightly to keep your head close to his. You were both becoming breathless, but you’d rather suffocate in his love than stop.

One hand of yours moved to his hip, pushing his shirt upwards and stroking the skin under. He shuddered a little, either out of surprise or nervousness, but he didn’t stop you. Shuffling the shirt up even higher, your hand made it way to his exposed abdomen. Since you had started your journey up his body, his kisses had lost sync with yours; the steady tempo the two of you had created was gone, and he let out shaky breaths between each attempt. As your hand had moved slightly closer towards his chest, he swiftly moved to grab your wrist, stopping it.

“I-I’m sorry, did I go too far? We can stop if you want,” you stuttered, pulling back from him. He stared at you with a complex look, as if he was debating with himself.

“No, don’t be sorry. That was my fault. I...” his eyes didn’t meet yours as he spoke. You could tell he had more to say, but he appeared to be struggling with the words.

“What’s on your mind? You can talk to me, it’s ok,” you whispered to him, stroking his cheek with the hand that still rested there.

“Nothing, nothing, it’s fine,” he rushed out, spreading a fake wide smile on his face. He made a move to sit up further, but you stopped him, giving him a look that he knew he couldn’t escape this one like he had tried each time in the past. His gaze filtered through various points in the room but never once on you, thinking over the rush of thoughts in his head.

He let out an exasperated sigh and let his head fall back against his headboard, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I just...,” he sighed again and threw his arms over his eyes to cover his face from your concerned gaze, “fuck, I just don’t want you to take my clothes off and not like what you see,” he spoke fast, as if it would stop you from hearing his vulnerability. You sat still, quiet for a moment as you processed what he said.

“I would never not like how you look, Satori,” you murmured, somewhat to yourself in confusion. “I think your beautiful, and I might not have ever seen you with your shirt off but I’ve kinda already got the gist of what you look like. I chose you, and love you knowing what you look like, and I love it Satori, I do.” you stroked the back of his arms that covered his face in an attempt to soothe him. Honestly, you were just as nervous as him, but you put on a brave face to guide him through this like he always did for you. “I want to show you how perfect you are to me, if you’ll let me?”

Slowly, his arms lifted away from his face and rested by his side; his fingers reaching your thighs and lightly brushed over them. When he didn’t respond, you leaned in again and, delicately, placed a kiss on him. As you pulled away, he bit his lip and nodded. You confirmed with him that you could continue, then kissed him again, before laying him down so he was flat on the bed.

“Just let me know if you want me to stop, ok? We don’t go too far, I promise,” you kissed him once more, before tucking your head down to place kisses along his collarbones to distract him a little as you started to pull his shirt up from the bottom. He, shakily, helped you take it off and laid back down on the bed, clenching his eyes shut once more.

While he wasn’t as active as he used to be in high school, you could still see how years worth of training had moulded his body. He wasn’t ripped or buff by any means, but his shoulders were broad and his arms looked strong; they tensed and relaxed as his fingers fiddled with the duvet under him to calm himself. You placed a hand on his chest and felt as it shifted with every breathe of his. You had spent so much time resting your head on this part of his body, so it already took up a lot of room in your thoughts. His skin was soft and hot as your hand trailed down to his stomach. You leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to the left side of his chest below his collarbones, and slowly, dragged your lips across his torso. One of your hands moved across the bed to find his, and gripped it tightly as your mouth explored his body. He let out deep breath, quivering breaths with each touch, but he slowly relaxed under you. His eyelids remained closed, but their grip softened and the muscles in his face went slack.

“I love you,”

Your mouth worked further down his body, tasting at the skin just above the beginning of his jeans. Moving across, you nipped at his prominent hips, making his jump slightly.

“Sorry,” you giggled at his reaction, stroking your thumb over his knuckles.

“No, no, that was nice, you can carry on, please,” he seemed to be a little amused himself by his reaction, smiling along with you for the first time in a while. Your free hand reached up to find the button of his jeans.

“Can I?” he nodded at your question, so you steadily began to undo his jeans and pull them off his body. Before you could pull them any lower than the tops of his thighs, his hand came to stop you once more, but his grip was gentler, more relaxed than last time.

“You’re gonna see some things but we can talk about it later, just...ignore it for now,” he mumbled, letting go of your hand so you could continue. You didn’t know what he was hinting at, but you didn’t push further. With his help, you pulled off his jeans and let them fall on the floor beside the bed.

You were familiar with his long legs from the lower thigh downwards due to seeing him often in his volleyball uniform during school, but you still took the time to run your fingers down them, massaging them slightly and feeling his muscles flex under them.

“You’re so pretty, Satori,” you said as you leaned down to, once again, trail your kisses up his legs. “You’re doing so well baby.”

His breath trembled more the closer you go to the tops of his thighs, in a mix of pleasure and restlessness. With his free hand now stroking over your hair, he took in all the senses you gave; the warm, wet feeling on your lips on his body, the heat from your scalp in his hand and the smell of your lotion that he was so familiar with. He was so nervous, but his body couldn’t help but fall into your touch,

“I’m going to fall asleep at this rate,” he chuckled in a low voice. You apologised for your slow movements, but he rejected your words, “this is the best day of my life, I don’t know what your apologising for,” his voice was light with laughter, setting a smile on your face too. He had settled down in your motions, so you took this chance to slowly pull his boxers down his legs, letting them meet his jeans on the floor.

You didn’t move for a few moments as you took in the sight of his, now, naked frame. You attention was drawn to his half-hard cock that lay on low on his stomach, and how the tip was the prettiest pink that complimented his complexion. Your eyes drifted over to the areas of his hips and tops of his thighs that were once covered by his underwear. You fingers moved hesitantly to skim the scars that littered his pale skin; they all seemed particularly old, although some were darker and larger than others. Moving down, you kissed each mark without hurry, moving inwards closer and closer to his crotch. You looked up at him to check on his expression; his eyes will still closed but his lips were parted slightly, damp from running his tongue over them.

You placed one, testing kiss on the base of his cock as he let out a deep sigh. Enjoying his reaction, you left warm, open-mouthed kisses to the tip. As you pulled back slightly, you noticed how much harder his dick had gotten through your actions. Wrapping your hand around the base, you noticed how your fingers barely found their way around it, and how your hand felt so small compared to him. You gripped his length a little harder, receiving a quiet, raspy moan. With the moisture from your previous exploration, you easily moved your hand up and down his member; each breath of Tendou’s released with a whine as his head tiled back further.

Taking it one step further, you lifted his cock, fitting your mouth over the tip and slowly sunk down on him. The hand that had been in your hair was now gripping tightly, almost to the point of pain. His mouth was wide open, letting a strained groan leave his throat. You hollowed out your cheeks and continued, moving up and down at a steady pace.

The muscles in his stomach began to tense as you worked him; his body quivering in the pleasure. Your free hand came to rest on his stomach, stroking the skin to settle him down. He had never felt anything like this before. All he could do was focus on the way your head moved and how hot you felt around him. He felt overwhelmed in the best way possible - the closest he had ever felt to this before was a panic attack, but this feeling was much more soothing, warming and addicting. His eyes started to let little tears run down his cheeks as he reached his high; his back arching off the bed slightly and his hips rutting into your mouth. He wanted to warn you but he couldn’t seem to form any words in this moment.

With a loud, strangled moan he finished in your throat. You did your best to take all of his release, which was a little difficult due to the suddenness, but you dragged out his high with slow movements. He pulled slightly on the back of your head as a sign that he was finished so you lifted off of him and crawled up to meet his face, sitting above his stomach. Your hand brushed the tears away that stuck to his cheeks as you checked over him. His eyes were lidded in a sleepy manner and he wore a little smile. You bend down to press kisses over his face, beginning at his forehead, then his cheeks, moving to his nose and finally his lips. Resting your forehead on his, you ran your fingers through his short hair.

“You did so well, my love, I’m proud of you,” you praised in a soft, quiet tone. He chuckled in response,

“I didn’t do anything, but thank you.” With one final kiss, you lifted your body off of his, laying back on the bed with your body leaning on the headboard. You opened your arms for him, and he rolled over to bury his face in your neck; his long arms wrapped around you as you held him.

“I love you, every part of you,” you whispered into his hair.

“I love you too. Thank you.”

#IT TOOK ME LIKE 3 HOURS TO WRITE THIS DONT LET IT FLOP YALL #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #tendou satori #haikyū!!#Haikyuu smut #tendou x reader #Tendou satori x reader #Tendou smut

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enthusiasticharry · 4 years

Text

The Secrets You Keep

summary: you're a stripper, and you meet Harry off shift. what happens when he finds out?

request: hiiii would you be able to do something like stripper y/n? not where they meet at the club or anything but something natural like at a cafe or something but she keeps it from him bc she thinks he’ll leave her? then he has a guys night at the strip club and sees her perform? but he loves it and she’s a bit embarrassed? idk but that kinda vibe if ur up for it! X

word count: 8.3k words of fluff, smut and angst if you squint (and i really mean squint) also not proofread, sorry!

masterlist | asks

It never occurred to you that once you left full time education you’d end up becoming a stripper. It wasn’t the occupation you had envisioned for yourself, but it was the one that paid the best money and even though it shouldn’t be — money was the thing that you needed the most. You lived in a small, one bedroom flat that you shared with your Grandma who had no income and little pension meaning that you was the only source of income for the two of you. Obviously it was hard upon you, but your Grandma had done so much for you when you were younger that you wanted to help her as much as you possibly could. Granted, finding a job as an eighteen year old that was enough to help pay the bills and for the treatment your Grandmother needed wasn’t the easiest, and that was how you stumbled across the club and the jobs there. Your Grandma didn’t know how you received your income, and you planned to keep it that way for as long as you physically could.

“Have you got any private dances today?” Jocelyn, also known as Sapphire amongst the people in the club, asked as she started fixing her makeup in the mirror next to yours.

“I don’t know.” You sighed, spraying a small amount of hairspray upon your curls, “I haven’t spoken to Elliot yet.”

“Apparently some big shot businessmen are coming in tomorrow.” Ruby adds from the other side of you, applying a lipstick that matched her name to her lips.

“Ugh.” Sapphire groaned, “That means old men with small dicks wanking to us instead of being with their probably very lovely, loving wives at home.”

“They lust after the taboo.” You add, applying a small amount of lipgloss to your lips, “They want what they can’t have, and brag when they get it.”

“They have money though.” Ruby shrugged, “Haven’t had many tips this week. I’d probably do anything for a couple hundred quid tomorrow.”

“Not anything Ruby.” You turn to look at her, shaking your head at the younger girl, “Stand your ground. Don’t let them take advantage of you.”

“I won’t.” She smiled, “I learnt from the best.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

As a fresh eighteen year old, just as Ruby was now, you could’ve only hoped for someone to help you and guide you through the trails and tribulations you endured at the club. That’s why you sort of took the younger girl under your wing and helped her as much as possible.

It wasn’t a lot. Granted, with what they did the majority of it was on their own upon the stage or in a private dance but you wanted to make sure she had small tips to help her handle herself in any situation that could occur and that she someone to talk to if she ever needed it.

“Are you working tomorrow, Emerald?” Emerald was your stage name.

“No.” You sigh happily, “It’s my day off.”

“Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.” Ruby smiled.

You certainly did.

The next morning, after helping your Grandma get ready and to the hospital, you make your way towards the small café you usually went to during your Grandmother’s chemo sessions. They usually lasted around three hours, and whilst you offered to stay with her, she usually forced you to leave and spend some time on your own, claiming she didn’t want you to see her at her worst.

The spring days had just started to warm up, so you dressed yourself in a summer dress you had picked up for cheap at a charity shop. You carried your tote bag with your book in over your shoulder as you pushed past the people on the street.

It wasn’t usually this busy, and looking around you saw no free tables but a few free chairs dotted around. Your favourite table, tucked away in the far right corner by the window had been taken by a man sat reading, just as you would’ve been. You toy back and forth with the idea of going to sit over there as you walk over to the counter.

You order your usual, a peach iced tea, and wait for the kind barista to make it. Your free days, usually, landed sporadically. They normally occurred when your grandmother either had chemo or a hospital appointment and that’s only because she can sometimes be really ill after them and needed you to look after her. Even though Elliot was not a good person by any means, he understood your situation and did help as little as he could.

“Excuse me.” The man looked up from this book at you, “Is this seat taken?”

“Uh. . .”

“It’s fine if it’s not!” Your quick to add, “There’s just no other seats.”

“No.” Your smile falters, “No! I mean that the seats not taken. It’s yours.”

“Thank you.” You drop your tote bag down on the floor, holding your hand out to the man, “I’m YN.”

“Harry.” He shakes your outstretched hand.

There was something oddly familiar about him, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on why. He dressed quite casually, a punny t-shirt that said something about health on it and you didn’t want to seem too weird and bend down to look at what he had on his bottom half but you suspected it was something just as interesting.

You take your book out of your bag and place it on the table in front of you, flicking through the pages until you found the page you had left off at.

As a child you loved to read. Your grandmother always read you a bedtime story before bed and it lead to English being your best subject at school. Whether it be the creative writing aspect, or the analytic — you were just good at it. It was your highest grade at GCSE, an A, and your highest grade at A Level, a B.

You didn’t exchange any more words with Harry the entire time you were there. Periodically you looked up at him, and somewhere deep down you hoped that he did the same for you but you couldn’t be too sure. The book that he was reading seemed interesting enough, something about watermelon, you had noticed. You had a slight suspicion that it wasn’t about watermelon but you could never be too sure you supposed.

A whine almost escaped your lips when you realised that you had to go pick up your Grandmother and your book had just gotten interesting. That was the problem when you read, you could sit and do it for hours and not even look up. It was something so interesting to you that you could immerse yourself in a world different to the one you lived in and slip out of reality for however long and return back to normal as though nothing had happened.

“Thank you for letting me sit here.” You smile as you pack your bag up, “Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

You left feeling sort of fuzzy inside. You hadn’t spoken to the man at all really, but he was kind and certainly handsome with his tousled brown hair and gentle smile. That was probably going to be the last time that you saw him, and you probably should’ve asked for his number at least but you didn’t and that was why you walked away with him laying heavy upon your mind.

The next day, you wanted nothing more than to leave in the middle of your shift and curl up on the sofa. Instead, you were stood in a private room in the back of the club swirling your hips for a man sat upon a chair in the middle.

“You’re fucking fit.” He moans, and you almost throw up in your mouth.

“Thank you.”

You move yourself so you’re hovered over his lap, twisting your hips to beat of the sultry song spilling out of the speakers. If you didn’t need the money, or have a bills to pay you certainly wouldn’t be doing this.

“Fucking sort.” That’s when his hand drops down upon your behind, squeezing the flesh harshly.

You stand up, flipping around so that you’re looking at him, “Hands off.”

“Babe.” He throws his head back, “C’mon I’ve paid bags for this dance.”

“And you pay for a dance, and the rules state no touching.”

He holds his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, babe.”

“Better not.”

It does, and that’s when you get up and leave. He still has to pay, which is a plus but it just isn’t the best feeling. The job you do isn’t one that people necessarily respect you for, but there are rules in place to help with that. You and the other dancers within the club were human beings and deserved the rights that any other person has.

“You okay?” Ruby presses her hand to your shoulder as you powder your under-eyes, “I heard he was touching.”

“Yeah.” You smile at her through the mirror, “Started behind and they he just full on groped me.”

“Men are pigs.”

“I second that statement.” You laugh, “But you know what they’ll say.”

“That we teased and antagonised them to do it.”

Throwing her a deadpan look, you nod. It was something that you had dealt with for the past six years of your life and even though you did hate it and wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up every time it happened — you had gotten used to it.

“Did you have a nice day off yesterday?”

“I did thank you.” You smile, “Read a bit. Spent some time with my Grandma.”

“Sounds lovely.” Her face then twists into one that you can’t quite pinpoint, “You didn’t miss much here.”

“The businessmen not up too much?”

“No they paid well.” She nodded, “We just had to watch them wank their micropenises at us.”

You curl your nose up at the thought, “That sounds pleasant.”

“Totally.” She snorts.

“Emerald. Ruby.” Elliot sticks his head into the room, “Get your asses back out there.”

Ruby rolls her eyes and you laugh. Your job certainly wasn’t your favourite but some of the people around you made it more pleasant.

Two weeks later you find yourself sat in the corner of the café down the road from the hospital, your book open in front of you and a peppermint tea sat upon the table in a pot. Your Grandmother’s second round of chemo was slowly coming to the end of its stint and even though you wanted nothing more than for her to be back to the epitome of health, you would miss spending time at this small café.

“Hi.” You lift your head up to see Harry stood there, slightly breathless, “Is this seat taken?”

“It’s yours.” You smile, watching him drop his book on the table.

This time you could see his entire outfit. A white t-shirt with some writing on that you missed, a floral shirt over the top paired with red corduroy flares. You were right the last time that you met him —he did have an amazing sense of style. You, however, bought whatever was the cheapest or on sale that seemed acceptable to wear in public.

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been okay.” You smile, “You?”

“Good, thanks.” He scratches the base of his neck, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh.” You have to stop yourself from smiling too much, “I only come when my Grandma has an appointment and they’re usually two weeks apart.”

“Ah.” He nods before his face curls, “I’m sorry if that seemed creepy.”

“It didn’t.” You can’t help the butterflies that erupt within your stomach, “I just thought I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Couldn’t let that happen.” Heat rises up your neck as he beams.

“No complaints about that from me.”

“That’s good.” He rests his hand upon his chest, letting out a deep breath, “Thought I was punching a little over my weight.”

“You’re not.” You cheeks hurt from smiling, “It’s cute.”

He looks down at his book. He seemed so shy, as though he had a confidence to talk to people but once they complimented him or something to do with him it completely changed. It was intriguing. He was already nicer to you than most people you’ve met of the opposite sex in your life and you’re let to learn anything about him apart from the fact that he reads Bukowski and likes black coffee — it certainly wasn’t much to go on.

“How long do we have until you have to go back to your Grandma?”

“Not long.” You sigh sadly, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I understand, it’s okay.” He flashes you a small smile, “Can I walk you back to the hospital?”

You ponder his offer for a second, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You walk back to the hospital brushing arms with one of the nicest people you’d ever met, and you couldn’t be happier.

“Has your Grandma been having treatment for long?”

“It’s her second round.” You explained, “They originally removed the tumour and it went away but it came back. They caught it quickly and she’s back in bay 11 for three hours every two weeks.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighs, “That must’ve been tough.”

You shrug, “She’s a fighter, I know she is.”

“I don’t doubt she is.” He smiles, “She’s got an amazing granddaughter to stay alive for.”

The walk to the hospital isn’t long enough in your opinion. You speak about a few things, and you learn he does music and that’s when you put two and two together and realise that he’s actually Harry Styles from One Direction. Harry wished he could’ve recorded your reaction when you realised.

Harry had never met someone like you, and he had met a lot of people in his life. You were sweet, and kind and so gentle but also confident and held yourself in such a strong way that he couldn’t help but want to know you, the real you.

“This is it.” You stop in front of the entrance closest to the chemo ward, “Thank you for walking me.”

“It’s no problem.” He smiles, “I hope this doesn’t sound too weird, but can I get your number?”

“Uh. . . yeah.”

“Great.” He beams, “At least now I won’t have to hope you show up at the café.”

You swear you felt your heart burst.

During your shift a couple of weeks later, you don’t notice your phone light up a message. You actually don’t notice at all until you arrived home that night. You had already checked on your Grandma, who was sound asleep in bed, and that’s when you allowed yourself to drop down upon the sofa with a sigh.

Seeing an unknown number pop up on your screen at first had confused you, but once you had looked further into it, your palms started sweating.

Hi YN. It’s Harry. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. I hope you and your Grandma are well.

Your heart starts to beat faster. The message you had awaited for weeks was here and you had no idea how to act, never mind what too reply back with. The only thing that spiralled around within your mind was that he had been thinking about you.

In your head, you imagined him pacing around in his large house trying to figure out what to send you, just like they do in the movies. You at least hoped that was what he had been doing over the past couple of weeks.

Hi Harry! It’s lovely to hear from you, sorry it’s late. I’m okay, Grandma’s getting there. How are you?

You throw your phone down on the sofa next to you, trying not to giggle like you did as a schoolgirl whenever you were messaging boys. You nearly cried whenever you phone ran out of credit and you’d end up having to run to the store to get a top up in the morning with your spending money and explaining to them what had happened. You were thankful that your upgrade didn’t need that.

I’m okay. Glad to hear about your Grandma. I know this is probably really weird and totally out of the blue, but are you free this weekend? I’m leaving next week for a little while and I really want to see you before I do.

In your head, you ignore the end of the message about him leaving and focus on the fact that he wants to see you. Harry Styles wants to see you. You hoped it was a date, everything pointed it to be a date but you didn’t want get too ahead of yourself.

You haven’t had a boyfriend since your first year of Sixth Form, and the first date you were going on since then was going to be with Harry Styles of all people.

If you pull some strings, work an extra long shift on Saturday and please some of Elliot’s special clients — you may be able to get Friday night off. It was a maybe, but over the next two days you could make it a yes. You hoped that you could make it a yes.

You’ve never, in your six years of working at the club, missed any of your shifts for anything other than your Grandma suddenly falling ill, and those were on rare occasions. You certainly deserved this day off.

I’ll have to check with my boss but I think I could do Friday night? If that’s not a problem for you.

You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from internally freaking out.

Sounds perfect. How about I pick you up at 8?

You wince. It wasn’t as though your were embarrassed of where you lived because you weren’t. You’ve worked hard to be able to pay for the flat and everything in it but there was something about showing it to someone who you’ve only just met and had no intention of explaining your situation to wasn’t on the top of your priority list.

Is there any chance I could meet you somewhere?

Of course. Where do you fancy eating? Italian? Thai?

Italian sounds good.

Great. I’ll send you details over.

Thank you :)

See you then, YN. Sweet dreams.

Night, Harry.

You slept well that night.

“I just don’t think I can spare you Friday.” Elliot sighs, “I’m sorry YN.”

You have to stop yourself from wanting to cry. You don’t use up all your holiday days, and you work way more than you should or that you’re paid for but you don’t complain and you just get on with it. The one time you ask for a shift off, his stubborn ass says that he cant do it.

“Please, Elliot.” You sign, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I just need this day off.”

“And I need my best girl on the floor. Need the best of the best.”

“There are plenty of other better girls than me working here.”

He shakes his head, “You’re the favourite, YN. Need you to be there.”

“Elliot.” You sigh, leaning forward in the uncomfortable seat you were sat in, “I’ve worked for you for six years and I’ve never asked for a day off like this before.”

“Yeah but—”

“—and! I’ve never asked for a day off apart from going to the hospital and you know that.”

“I couldn’t exactly say no to you—”

“I’ve worked every shift you’ve ever asked me to, covered for people when you need it.”

“Stop it!” He holds his hand up to silence you, “Just shut up for a second.”

You clamp your lips shut. If you didn’t need to stay on his good side to get Friday off you probably would’ve said something about how rude he was being. He’d always been rude, but he paid you and the rest of the girls so you all chose to ignore it.

He ponders, and you know the cogs are turning within his brain as he scrolls through his laptop, typing a few things. He takes his glasses off his face and drops them dramatically down on the table in front of him.

“Ruby will cover your shift.”

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you!”

“Don’t be thanking me too quickly.” He points his finger, “I need a favour from you.”

“Anything. Well not anything.”

“In a few weeks times there’s a big birthday party coming in.” He explains, “I need you to be the star of the show, do private dances and all the good things like that.”

“Just that?” You ask, knowing that it could be a trap knowing Elliot’s track record.

He nods, “Just that.”

You look at him sceptically, “What’s the catch?”

“No catch.” He holds his hands up, “A few big names are coming, that’s all. A list celebs that have asked to use the back exit.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Let me know the date and I’ll do it.”

You stand up, happy that you’ve managed to get your shift tomorrow off and that you can go on the date you have been excited for since you met Harry and was introduced to the world with him in it.

“Have fun at your thing Friday.”

“Thank you. . .?”

You don’t think you like Elliot being nice to you.

Friday night rolled around quickly and you were thankful for that. After helping your Grandma with her own dinner and into bed, you start getting ready. You curl your hair, brushing it out until its in what looks like effortless waves but are actually quite hard waves to achieve. You do natural makeup, something completely different to makeup you usually wear in one of your shifts. You try to keep all of your features soft, different to how you usually look on a day to day basis. You dress in a long white polka-dotted maxi skirt, paired with a thin long-sleeved jumper that would keep you warm due to the ever changing British weather.

You had done a little bit of research on the restaurant Harry had sent you the address for and learnt that it wasn’t the most expensive restaurant ever, but one that was way out of your price range. It meant that you had to dip into the fund that you keep for occasions where you need a little extra money or you will use in the future when you eventually move out and busy your own place.

The tube was crammed, seeing as though it was a Friday night and the majority of people were either coming home from work and stating to go out for end of the week drinks. You knew that the club would start to become heaving as the night grew and a part of you was thankful that you didn’t have to work today, and you were given a small break from the hell that is working at a strip club.

The restaurant, when you arrived, definitely looked fancier than it had online. The bar stood against the corner wall, the right hand side of the restaurant had booths covering the walls whilst stand alone tables scattered around the rest of the room.

You were surprised when you saw Harry, already sat at the booth in the far right corner. He lifted his hand up in an awkward sort of wave and you couldn’t help but beam at him. He had a shirt, an expensive looking white shirt with a yellow and blue jumper over the top. You hand felt so excited to see someone since when your Grandma went into hospital for her tumour being removed and you couldn’t see her for a few days.

“YN.” He sighs, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You smile, slipping into the booth across from him.

“Was starting to think you wasn’t going to show up.”

“I’m sorry.” You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I underestimated how bust the tube was going to be.”

You can tell he wants to pry but instead he says, “It’s okay.”

His nails were painted yellow, a few of them painted lilac as well. There was something so simple about his nails that you just loved, and if it wasn’t weird you probably would’ve stared at them for way too long for it to be acceptable. You knew he had tattoos, and you could see the cross on his hand and the the anchor peaking out from underneath his shirt and you wanted to see more.

“I like your nails.” You smile, running your own fingers over your own nails underneath the table.

“Thanks.” A blush creeps up his neck, “I did them last night. Sort of calmed me down, I was quite nervous.”

“Nervous for what?”

“This.” He nods, “I haven’t been as nervous for a date in a long time.”

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

In your twenty four years of living, you’ve never had someone say that they were nervous to see you. You’ve been nervous to see and do many things in your life and you hoped that somewhere along the line it would’ve been the same for somebody else and yourself but you had the slight suspicion that wasn’t the case. Hearing those words out loud, coming from someone who you’d never expect it too was special, and you were going to keep that for as long as you physically could.

“I did.” He looks down at the table briefly, “I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you before.”

“You don’t really know me.”

“I’d like to get to know you.”

That’s what you do. For the rest of the date you don’t stop talking. Even though you’re starving and could eat your fist, it takes you the longest you’ve ever taken to eat your food because of how much you spend it talking.

You’re just about to dig in to your desert when your body physically halts, “Why didn’t you want me to pick you up?”

“I, uh, I—”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t what to! I know I can be pretty invasive sometimes.”

“No, it’s fine!” You take a sip of your drink to swallow down the dryness within your throat, “I don’t live in the nicest building, or in the nicest area and I guess I was embarrassed.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“But I was.” You drop your eyes to the plate in front of you, “I know I shouldn’t have been and that it was stupid but I just didn’t want you judge me before you truly knew me because of where I live.”

“I hope you know now that I wouldn’t have done that.”

“I do.”

You let Harry drive you home. Even though you would never admit it to his face just yet, you really liked him. He was kind, sweet and funny and everything you could ever want in your person. You haven’t said this in a long time but you love the person you are around him and you wouldn’t change it for the world if you didn’t have to.

He stops in the car park outside the building of flats you live in and you can tell he’s thinking deeply about something but you try to not concentrate on that too much.

“I would invite you up.” You laugh, “But I don’t think the sofa in the middle of my Grandma’s flat whilst she snores in the next room is the most romantic.”

He scrunches up his nose, “I can’t say that it is.”

“I’m sorry.” You drop your head to look at your hands that are tested on your knees, “I really wish I could offer you something. Anything.”

“It’s okay, YN.” He uses his finger to move your head up so that you’re looking at him, “I don’t expect anything from you. I hope you know that.”

“I know.”

He hesitates for a moment, and you can feel the finger that was rested upon your chin move upwards so that its upon your cheek. You flicker your eyes closed and just mask in the feeling of his touch against your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

You eyes open as you nod your head, letting out a shaky breath at the sheer surprise you feel at his words.

“Want your words, darling.”

“Please kiss me.”

You close your eyes again and you feel his lips touch yours. It's light at first, but you can’t contain yourself and you end up pushing closer to him, relishing in the feeling of his lips upon yours. Your fingertips grip the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him closer without hurting himself too much on the centre console. Even though you both don’t want to, you pull away as you start to loose breath.

“You okay?” Your chest heaves up and down as he speaks.

“Never been better.” You sigh, resting your forehead against his.

“Good.”

You kiss again, this time its more passionate and you can’t help but let out a small whine as he pulls away. The smug look on his face after hearing that sound was enough to send your stomach doing flips.

You really didn’t want to do this, but you had too: “I have to go.”

“It’s okay.” He smiles, “I understand.”

“Okay.” You reach for the door handle.

“I have to go away for a bit.” He sighs, “I’m writing some music over in America but when I get back, do you want to maybe go on another date?”

“I’d love to.”

He presses one last kiss to your lips and you leave the car, muttering a small, “Bye.”

You feel giddy. As though you’re sixteen again and just come back from your first date with your first boyfriend. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and in all honesty, you had no idea how to handle those feelings. You certainly wouldn’t admit that you screamed quietly into your pillow in excitement that night.

You couldn’t wait for him to return home.

Two weeks. Harry was away for two weeks and even though you had only kissed him once, twice if you actually count how many kisses there were, you missed him more than words could explain. You weren’t one to usually message first, so you did end up waiting until Harry had a spare moment to message you which wasn’t as often as you would’ve liked but you couldn’t complain.

You almost felt as though you had been drip fed this new life with Harry in, only to have it taken away quicker than you could blink. It wasn’t forever, and that was probably the thing keeping you sane. This had all happened in such a short amount of time but you wouldn’t change it for the world.

The only thing that limited how far you could take this was your job.

Harry had obviously been curious and during a text conversation in the first week of his week being away — he asked what you did. After having a small freak out you decided to say that you worked in a bar. It was a small, white lie and you hated yourself for it but telling him that you were a stripper just didn’t feel like the best thing to do at that time.

You just weren’t ready to tell him, and that was totally okay.

Speaking of your work, tonight was the night of the big party that Elliot made sure you could come to. The club had held celebrity parties before, so you weren’t entirely nervous but every time someone mentioned it you could feel your heart speeding up slightly.

“Emerald.” You turn to look at Elliot who’s trudging towards you, a bag in hand, “Here’s your new outfit for tonight.”

“New? I thought I’d just wear the one for special occasions.”

“This is a special, special occasion Emerald.” He dropped the bag down in front of you, “Wear this.”

Taking the material out of the bag, your mouth dropped open at the sight of the emerald green lingerie in your hands. It was delicate lace that you feared you’d rip if you weren’t too careful. Putting it on, your breasts slightly spilled over the lace, and whilst your front was covered, the thong back of the lingerie left your ass on full display. It was beautiful, you couldn’t dismiss that but you just hadn’t ever worn something so skimpy before. You pulled your black silk robe over your shoulders, fastened your black heels onto your feet and made your way towards the side of the stage.

The skimpiness of the new lingerie did send more butterflies to the pit of your stomach than you were originally hoping for but it was only another hurdle for you to get over which you knew you’d be able to do.

You heard the music start to play, you slipped your hand through the gap in the curtain and opened it, revealing yourself to the room.

Here goes nothing, you mumble to yourself.

Harry’s jaw dropped at the sight of you on the stage. It certainly wasn’t his usual scene, a strip club, but it was a friend of a friends birthday and he had kindly been invited and he wasn’t about to turn it down. He wasn’t in the band anymore, and certainly didn’t have to hide that he went to places like this anymore, even though they weren’t his favourite.

He couldn’t bare his eyes off of you. The way your body moved to the rhythm of the song, your darkly manicured nails pushed the robe of your shoulders, exposing the delicate lingerie you were wearing. Harry would be lying if he said that his cock didn’t start to stir at the sight.

You. The girl who he thought spent her days reading, and looking after Grandma had a secret persona that he only wanted to explore more.

“My word.” One of the men in the group spoke, loudly so that everyone could hear him, “She’s fit as fuck.”

“To get my hands on her.”

Harry clenches his jaw, and his fist that rested on the arm of his chair. If he wasn’t in a very public place where people could record him, he’d give that man a piece of his mind. He probably would but he’d do it when nobody was around so the man could truly understand what he was saying to him.

“Do you think I could get a dance with her?” The birthday boy asked.

“It’s your birthday.” The dickhead with no morals spoke, “She might give you something special as a present.”

“The rules say no touching.” The words slip out of Harry’s mouth before he can stop them, “So I highly doubt that.”

“I’m sure you’d be saying something different if you were in his position, Styles.”

Harry rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on the stage, watching as you seductively bent down to pick up some of the tips that had been thrown on the bottom of the stage. The song was slowly finishing and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little bit of disappointment bubbling within him.

Harry watched your lean legs as you strutted towards the side of the stage, flicking the long wig on your head over your shoulder, seductively running your tongue over your bottom lip as you pulled the material of the lingerie down from your breasts.

Harry bit his lip, his leg bounced, he ran his hand up and down his thigh. He tried to do everything in his power to distract himself from the rousing within his trousers but he just couldn’t do it. The flimsy material dropped to the floor, your red painted lips curled up into a smirk and you made your way behind the curtain, not showing any of your truly bare skin.

If you hadn’t been imprinted on his brain before, you certainly were now.

You could hear the grunts and groans of happiness, and a few cheers whilst on stage but the lights were so bright that you couldn’t see anything past the first row or so. The tips you had received were good, and you were pleased about that.

You received your robe and bra back from the stage and pulled them back onto your body. Your solo dance was always a hit for Elliot, and you supposed that was why he’s kept you on for so long and if you were honest, they were the easiest to do. Private dances always made you too uncomfortable, and in the six years you’ve worked there there had only been a handful of people that made you feel comfortable when it came to private dances.

“Emerald.” Elliot walks in smiling and you assume everything is swell on the floor, “They fucking love you.”

You nod your head, muttering a small and awkward, “Thank you.”

He hums, “You’ve been requested for a private dance, and he’s promised to pay you accordingly.”

“Really?”

Another hum, “Room Two. I think he’s already there.”

“Thanks.”

He leaves the room, a bounce in his step. You suppose that this is a good thing and he’ll finally get off your back for the time you took off for the date with Harry. You at least hoped.

You checked yourself. You made sure your makeup still looked flawless, your breasts sat perfectly within the material and your arse looked good. You brush through the wig once and make your way towards room two, the smaller of the three private dance rooms which helped it be more intimate.

You smiled at the bouncer at the door, Gerry, a man who looked as though he could kill someone with a single punch but was actually a massive teddy bear. He was good at his job of keeping everyone safe and making sure that the bad eggs that came in left just as quickly.

Watching the door slowly open, Harry felt his heart stop. He had been pacing up and down the room ever since he had walked in, and only just stopped when he heard the creek of the door. He couldn’t believe that you were in front of him, and you certainly couldn’t believe that he was in front of you either.

“YN. . .” He sounded breathless.

“Harry?” He could see your chest rising and falling at a quick pace, “What? How? I thought you were in America.”

He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “I got back last night.”

“Why are you here?” He can hear the lump in your throat as you speak, your eyes glossing over.

“A Birthday party.”

“Yours?”

“No!” He’s quick to interrupt, “A friend of a friend. It’s not mine. Mine’s in February, and I certainly don’t think I’ll be having my party here. Not that there’s anything wrong with here! It’s lovely! You’re lovely! I’m rambling.”

He was so gosh darn cute and if you weren’t in the middle of a break down, you probably would’ve laughed or at least reacted to his little word vomit. It was probably the quickest you’d ever heard him talk, not that it was hard.

After a few minutes of contemplating what to say, you sigh, “I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, his features falling, “What are you sorry for?”

“Lying to you.” You drop your gaze to the floor, trying to suppress the tears, “I didn’t want to.”

“Hey, hey.” He walks over to you, placing his finger underneath your chin just like he had done in the car weeks ago, “No need to get upset, I’m not.”

“You should be.” You bottom lip quivers, “I lied to you and I had no intention to retract that just yet.”

“YN.” He rests his palms on your cheeks, “I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just want to know why.”

“I was scared.” You admit, trying to do anything but look up at him, “I didn’t know what you’d think or if you’d change your mind.”

“Change my mind about what?”

“Wanting too, you know. . .?”

He shakes his head, “I wouldn’t. There’s no reason for me to.”

“I’m a stripper Harry, it gives you full reason to not want to be associated with me.” You lift your hand to wipe your under-eye.

“I’m not judging you, YN, I said I wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t be upset if you did.”

“YN.” His voice is stern, more so than it had been, “I don’t care that you’re a stripper.”

“You don’t.”

“No.” He smiles, “I don’t.”

“Fuck.” You let out a breath of relief, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugs, “If you didn’t want to, you didn’t have to.”

You had never met someone like him, and no matter how many times he surprised you that was just fact. Granted, you hadn’t had time to date anyone with looking after your Grandma but another reason you didn’t was because of what they would think of you.

You knew that not everyone would be was understanding and lovely as Harry had been, and that was just because of the lovely person he was inside and out. That was the reason you didn’t tell him, because even though you had an inclination that he was accepting but you didn’t know whether that was just a façade or he was like that in real life. You loved that he was like that in real life.

“Can I be honest?” You nod, “I enjoyed it.”

You bite your lip to suppress the smile that threatened to cross your lips, “You did?”

He hums, beaming a smile at you.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” The corner of his lips tugs upwards, “I’d still love to get that private dance.”

You roll your eyes and thwack his shoulder playfully, “If you must.”

“I’ll wait for you.” He nods, “Until your shift is over, if you want.”

“Please.”

“I’ll see you then.”

You hadn’t even made it completely into Harry’s house before his lips were on yours. He pushed you up against his front door before he’d even shut it properly, his lips falling upon yours with a hunger you hadn’t felt since you last kissed him.

Maybe it was his hands rested upon the small of your back, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Can I offer you a drink?” He smirks against your lips.

“Not the priority.” You reply, not bringing your lips away from his.

“Noted.” He places a kiss to your jaw, “Upstairs?”

“Upstairs.”

You follow him up the stairs, your hand rested firmly in his. You’re too distracted by the man in front of you to take any notice of the house or where you were going.

Harry had kept true to his word and waited for you. You secretly wished that you could have recorded the group’s reaction as you walked towards him, a small smile on your face. After bidding them goodbye, the two of you jumped in a taxi that Harry had ordered and made your way to his house, or what you expected to be his house and you weren’t disappointed.

The second you step into the plushly decorated room, you’re kissing again. His hands slide down to rest upon curve of your ass, his ring-clad fingers immediately squeezing the flesh. You groan lightly into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip through her parted lips. You grip his bicep as he leads your backwards into the room, your calves hitting the bed as he does so.

Your lips part, you fall back onto the bed. You look up at him through your eyelashes, your fingertips reaching to pull the shirt he was wearing over his head. You almost swoon there and then at the sight of the tattoos littering his skin. You lean forward and place a kiss on his lower stomach, just before his happy trail that slips into the band of his trousers.

You bite your lip, grinning up at him.

“What are you planning?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug, “What do you want me to be planning?”

He groans, “Anything at this point.”

You reach forward, taking the button of his trousers in your fingers. You look up, “Is this okay?”

“More than okay, baby.”

You unbutton his trousers, wrapping your finger in the waistband and pulling them down. You can already see the tent in his boxers. You wondered how long he had been like this, you wondered if it had been since your dances.

You blush slightly as you hook your fingers now into the waistband of his boxers, looking up at him. You can’t handle the look on his face, the slight blush but the boyish grin mixed with his curls that had fallen forward upon his forehead. You pull the fabric down, exposing his hard cock. You watch as it hits his stomach briefly, the tip swollen. You lift your hand up, wrapping it around him before giving him a few pumps. His stomach quivers as you do so, a groan escaping him as you wrap your lips around his tip. His eyes flutter closed as you start to bob your head, his fingers reaching forward to grab your hair into a ponytail.

“Fuck baby.” His hips involuntarily buck forward. You sink further down, going as far as you could.

Harry couldn’t believe how good he felt. It had been a while since he had been with someone, and it was worth the wait. You pulled away too soon in his opinion, but the sight of you, all teary eyed and sloppy sent his mind spiralling.

“God.” He bent down and wrapped his arms around your thighs, lifting you up so he could move you further up the bed, “You’re fucking killing me here.”

“Good.” You giggle.

He’s quick to remove your shirt, allowing you to pull your jeans down at the same time. He didn’t expect you to still be in the lingerie from earlier, and if it was physically possible, he swore his cock hardened even more.

“Fuck me.”

He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours again as his fingers fumble with the latch of your bra. You bite your bottom lip as he wraps his around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. He uses his hand to knead the other one. You can’t help but grind your hips forwards, a feeling bubbling deep in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Harry.” You moan, withering under his touch.

He kisses down from your lips, to your jaw, down your neck until he’s littering them all the way to the band of your underwear.

“Is this okay?”

“More than okay.” You whine as he lets out a breath upon the thin material.

He pulls your underwear down, teasing you by placing kisses across your thighs and pubic bone. He’s so close, yet so far from the place that you need him the most. He licks a stripe across your centre, until he wraps his lips around your clit. You can’t help the moans that escape your parted lips as he nibbles and flicks your sensitive nub, her thighs starting to shake as he coaxes her closer and closer to her orgasm.

“Don’t stop.” You thread your fingers through his hair, “God! Harry.”

He pulls away, and you let out a shaky breath as he does so.

“No fair.” You whine.

“Life isn’t.”

“Just shut up and get a condom.” He does as you request, placing a small peck to your lips as he reached over to grab a condom from the drawer beside the bed.

You watch as he rips the packet open with his teeth, pulling the rubber down his length. He presses another kiss to your lips, catching her eyesight once more.

“Are you sure?”

“More than okay.”

He hovers over you, rubbing his tip up and down your wet folds to coax a moan out of your lips. He groans into your shoulder as he pushes in, biting down briefly to suppress the sound.

“Don’t.” You moan, scratching your nails down his back as he starts to thrust in and out of you, “Let me hear you.”

“Fuck.” You squeeze him slightly, “Do that again.”

He speeds up, catching your lips as your hips meeting quicker, the only sound in the room being your skin slapping each others. You slip one of your hands between the two of you, your nimble fingers rubbing your clit.

“Where have you been all my life?” You can’t help the pleasurable giggle that escapes your lips.

“Feel so good, H.”

After a few more thrusts, a couple more circles of her clit and she’s comes around his cock, squeezing him tightly as she did so.

“Fuck, shit, oh god.”

He continues to thrust in and out of you, coaxing you through your orgasm and towards his. He seems to go deeper and deeper until he’s spilling inside the condom, his moans louder than any you had heard before.

“God.” He collapses on top of you, taking a few seconds to collect himself and let you collect yourself, “Haven’t felt like that in a long time.”

“Glad I could be of some assistance.” You push the hair that had matted to your face off.

“You should keep secrets from me more often.’

“I’m never doing that again.”

“Good.” He pecks your lips.

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic

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undyingskies · 4 years

Text

Hanukkah

request: yes

“hi!! would you be willing to write something with charlie where his girlfriend is jewish and someone made fun of her for it so he decides to go all out for the first night of hanukkah and buys his own menorah so he can make it the best for her bc even tho he isn’t jewish he wants to make her happy and enjoy her religion and heritage? sorry if that’s too specific and if you aren’t comfy doing that it’s totaly fine 🥺♥️”

A/N: I know the holidays are over, but due to the holidays I have gotten behind in my requests! I did my best to educate myself on Hanukkah and write a fic that respects the Jewish holiday! I hope everyone enjoys!

warnings: none

tagged: @mah-gah-lee, check her blog out! She is amazing and so are the fics that she writes!

———————————————————

Normally you were always really excited about the holiday season and celebrating Hanukkah. Hanukkah was eight days of celebration, each night at sundown you and your family got together to light the candle on the menorah. It was always a time of celebration and love.

This year was a little different though, this was your first holiday season living with Charlie. In the past Charlie had come for a few days of Hanukkah with your family but he had never been around for the full eight days.

Charlie had always done his best to educate himself of the Jewish holiday, he wanted to learn everything about it that he could. He learned the reason behind the celebration, he wanted to learn about your heritage, he learned all the traditional foods, and even had your mom teach him how to make latke.

It was also nice, that you were able to celebrate the holiday with your family and not have to worry about splitting the day with Charlie’s family since they celebrate Christmas. Your first time every celebrating Christmas was actually with Charlie and his family. It was fun to see a new holiday celebration, but nothing compared to celebrating Hanukkah to you.

You were a little nervous for this year, as again this was the first year of living with Charlie and doing all eight days of Hanukkah together. You were originally really excited, you were going to buy your own Menorah for the first time ever. You were even going to host one night of Hanukkah at your shared apartment with your family. That was until you had read some comment a fan had made. They just mentioned the difference between your two holidays and had said something about you forcing Charlie to engage in Hanukkah. Which just was not true at all, but it still got to you.

Your excitement for the holiday just seemed to fade as the comment continued to ring through your head. The first day of Hanukkah was quickly approaching but you hadn’t started to decorate or buy your menorah yet. Charlie noticed your mood and was worried because you had not mentioned it or even told him why.

Today was the day that the two of you were supposed to go shopping for all the things you needed.

“Hey Y/N, you ready to go shopping today?” Charlie asked you walking from your room and into the living room.

“I don’t think I really want to go anymore Char...” you trail off, “it just seems like too much now.”

His face falls at your words, not understanding why your excitement isn’t evident anymore and the fact your dismissing shopping for your first menorah. Something that you were really excited for just days prior.

“Are you sure? You were so excited about it the other day, truthfully I was too.” He tells you. You scoff at his words, not believing him. You knew he wasn’t the one who made the comment but somehow in your head, you twisted convincing yourself it was true.

His eyebrows furrow together at your actions, really not understanding what was happening.

“Can you tell me what’s going on Y/N? Please? I really am just not understanding.” He asks you.

“It’s nothing Charlie, I just don’t want to do it. I’ll just go to my parents house this year. That way you don’t have to be bothered by it.” You confess to him.

“So I won’t be bothered by it? Why would I be bothered by it?” He’s a little frustrated at your words, he’s always done his best to show you he loves spending Hanukkah with you and your family.

“I just don’t want to force you to do it anymore, people were saying I was forcing you to celebrate this whole time and I don’t want to do that. So I am not going to this year.” You tell him, pushing yourself up from the couch, just wanting to go lay in bed and take a nap.

Charlie reaches out and grabs your arm before you can leave. He pulls you to him, so that your face to face.

“Y/N, you know that’s not true. You have never forced me to celebrate or do anything I didn’t want to do. You know I’ve loved learning about Hanukkah, I was excited to host a night here.” He tells you with a smile on his face, hoping that his words would make you feel better.

They don’t. You roll your eyes at him, not believing his words. You had gotten in your head about it too much. “Whatever Charlie, I just don’t feel like dealing with it okay.” You tell him, stepping away to go to your room.

Charlie sighs and lets you go. He does follow you to the room though. He watches you climb into bed and face the wall. He’s stumped by all of this, not knowing how to fix the situation.

That’s when it hits him, he’s got an idea that has got to make you feel better. He leans over to place a kiss on your forehead. “Okay baby. I’m going to go to the store, I’ll let your rest.” He says.

You turn to look at him with a small smile on your face. “Okay Char. I love you.” You tell him.

“I love you too.” He says on his way out of the room.

He’s got your mom on the phone the minute his foot is out the door. He’s going to fix this situation and put you back in the holiday mood.

He made his way through about 4 different stores, trying to get everything he needed to make it perfect.

You don’t know how long he was gone but sleep had overcome you just a few minutes after he left. The nap granting you some peace from your intrusive thoughts.

When Charlie had gotten home from the store, your apartment was dark. He went to your bedroom to see if you were awake or not, but he found you peacefully sleeping. Which was perfect for his plan.

He quickly and quietly set everything up the best he could, hoping that his plan would work. Once he was done, he made his way back into your room.

He sat next to you on your bed, rubbing your back gently hoping to pull you from your sleep. After a couple seconds you start moving about, slowly becoming conscious. You roll over to find Charlie smiling down at you.

“Hi,” He whispers, to which you whisper hi back.

You don’t miss the excited look on his face and how his eyes seem to be sparkling a little more than usual. He was up to something, you just knew it.

“Everything good there Char?” You ask him. Your spirits a little up due to the nap.

“Yes it is! Wanna come with me to the living room?” He asks you, reaching his hand out for you to grab. You smile up at him and grab his hand, letting him pull you from the bed and into the living room.

Once you reach your living area, you stop dead in your tracks. The sight of your living room brought tears to your eyes. In the middle of your coffee table, was a beautiful menorah. There was also a tin next to the menorah, with all the candles in it.

The table had little white lights draped all along the edges of the table, to light up the room. In the corner of the room, there was also a medium Christmas tree. All of the decorations on the tree were shades of silver and blue.

Your tears kept falling, you were so happy. Charlie speaks up after a few seconds of watching you admire your home for a little.

“So I called your mom and asked her what I should get to decorate. She told me about the menorah, you had been looking at to get, so I went and got it. I hope that’s okay.” Charlie says while moving to stand in front of you.

“I know you thought you were forcing me to celebrate Hanukkah with you, but I want you to know that it wasn’t true. I love celebrating the holiday with you and learning all about it.” He pauses for a second, “Also I know it may be cheesy but now that we live together I thought, I could incorporate both our holidays. The internet told me that blue and silver were the colors of the Israeli flag so I thought maybe by decorating the tree with those colors, was a nice way to combine the two.” He tells you.

You can’t believe how sweet he was. Only Charlie would try to set up your home with both of your holiday traditions and try to come up with a way to combine the two of them. He truly was the best and so thoughtful.

“I just wanted you to know that even though we have different holidays and traditions, that we’re both in this together.”

A small smile graces both yours and Charlie’s lips as he says that. You can’t help but throw your arms around his shoulders and pull him in for a bone crushing hug. Tears still leaving your eyes.

“It’s perfect Charlie.” You whisper in his ear. You pull back from him, so you could be face to face.

Charlie leans in for a sweet kiss after a few seconds of eye contact. Your boy really was the best. After a few seconds of your lips moving together, you pull apart.

“Also I bought all the ingredients to make latke! I figured we could make it together!” He tells you. “After all we have two days before the first day of Hanukkah and we’re hosting that night!” You smile up at his words.

“Well we better get a start then!” You tell him, pulling him into the kitchen.

You end the night baking with the love of your life and telling him about all your childhood stories of Hanukkah. Nothing could get better than that.

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie x oc #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie x y/n #charliegillespieimagines #charliegillespieimagine #charlie gillespie fluff #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie fanfiction #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julieandthephantomsimagine

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dreamypeaches · 4 years

Text

don’t wake up pt. 2 | rafe cameron x reader

summary: after spending the week hoping to see rafe again, sarah invites you to a sleepover at tannyhill.

warnings: SMUT, cursing, alcohol use

word count: 2.8k

a/n: thank you all for the wonderful response to part 1! this is my first time posting smut, so let me know what you think of it. i honestly think i did a good job rereading it, bc it is hot. there will definitely be one or two more parts to this, maybe even more idk. all i know for sure is there will be a lot more sexy times. enjoy :)

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It had been a week since the Boneyard kegger and you couldn’t get Rafe out of your head. You hadn’t seen him since that night, at least not in real life. Your dreams, however, were plagued with him. The way his hands had gripped your hips, his lips on your lips, your neck, imagining how they would feel on other parts of your body.

Part of you had been tempted to drive down to Figure 8 and “run into him” somewhere. One morning, after an especially steamy dream, you almost asked Sarah for his number. But then you thought of the questions that would come with that request and decided against it. You felt pathetic, pining after a guy you’d spent a couple hours with. A guy who, by all accounts was an asshole and hated people like you. Why would he want a Pogue like you?

Still, you wanted to see him. At least once. Just look in his eyes and see if that same spark was there. You had even tagged along with JJ during the day more often than usual, hoping Rafe and his Kook friends would appear to antagonize one of your best friends. But he was nowhere to be seen. As the week came to a close, you resigned yourself to experiencing his touch in your dreams only.

You were laying in the hammock at the Chateau listening to music with Kie, who laid beside you lazily braiding your hair, when Sarah suddenly appeared. She practically jumped onto you and Kie’s laps, a grin on her face.

“Let’s have a girls night!” She proclaimed, “Ward and Rose are taking Wheezie and her friend on a mini vacation on the mainland, so I have Tannyhill all to myself!”

“What about Rafe?” You asked, trying to fill your voice with disdain rather than hope. Sarah scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry about him, I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother us. So?”

You and Kie looked at each other. Kie raised her eyebrows, a smirk on her face. You smiled back and nodded. Both of you looked back at Sarah.

“We’re in!” Kie said.

“Yay!” Sarah pulled both of you into a hug, already unleashing all of her plans for the night. After telling you to be there at 6, she left to prepare for the night.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a night just us girls. I mean, I love the boys, but I could use a break from them,” Kie said, finishing the braid in your hair.

“Yeah, fuck the boys,” You giggled, though in your head, you were much more focused on one particular boy than the girls night ahead of you.

Kie drove you to Sarah’s house, arriving at 6:30. Kie complained about how long it took you to get ready for a sleep over. You just laughed and told her you needed to look good for your girls. If she had know the truth, her head might have exploded. You had worn your cutest pair of pajamas, a large shirt with short shorts that left little to the imagination. You’d even done your make up. Not much, keeping it natural. After all, it was a sleep over, you didn’t need to go all out.

You were disappointed when you didn’t see Rafe as you walked in, but assumed Sarah had probably threatened him with violence if he came anywhere near her friends. You tried not to let thoughts of Rafe distract you, actually wanting to enjoy the night with your best girl friends. Sarah had stolen a couple bottles of wine from her dad’s wine cellar, passing around wine glasses before heading up to her room.

The three of you quickly became tipsy on the wine, giggling at little things. You all were laying on Sarah’s large bed, giggling at Sarah’s sexual mishap with John B in the Twinkie.

“I thought my nipple was going to come off! Like I’m sorry, I know it probably hurt when I kneed your dick, but who bites a nipple that hard? So, moral of the story, never have sex in the back of the van.”

You and Kie burst into laughter, while Sarah contained her giggles, trying her best to look annoyed.

“What about you two? Any sexy stories to share? Y/N, what about that Touron from the kegger?”

Your laughter quickly faded as Rafe was brought to the forefront of your mind. You bit your lip, trying to hide a smile.

“Nothing happened, I haven’t seen him since that night.”

“Well, you need to track him down!” Kie exclaimed, sitting up on her elbow to look down at you. You just shrugged, not meeting your friend’s eyes.

“Y/N, you should have seen the look on your face when we were leaving. You had literal stars in your eyes.”

You shrugged and downed the rest of you wine, sitting up on the bed.

“I don’t know. If I run into him again, we’ll see what happens. I’m gonna go get some water.”

Sarah started asking Kie about the girl she had been talking to as you padded out of the room and down the stairs.

You made your way to the kitchen, where a happy surprise waited for you. Rafe stood cooking something at the stove. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. His back was facing you, giving you a moment to take in his form. Your eyes wandered his body, tracing his biceps and the curve on his shoulder blade.

“Hi, Rafe,” You finally said, just loud enough for him to hear. He turned suddenly, surprised expression quickly turning to a smirk. You looked into his green eyes and felt your heart jump when you saw it. That spark you’d been hoping for for the past week.

“Hey,” he replied. You slowly made your way to the cupboard, making sure to brush up against him as you passed.

“How’ve you been?” He asked. You shrugged, filling up your glass at the fridge.

“I’ve been better. I’ve been a little lonely, especially at night, you know? My mind starts to wander to certain places,” You moved back over to Rafe. Your chests were almost touching as he smirked down at you. His breath fanned across your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe you need a little company,” He whispered, his low tone going straight to your core. You smiled at him innocently, moving so your lips were inches apart.

“Yeah I do.”

You noticed him start to lean in and quickly pulled away, skipping towards the stairs.

“That’s why I’m having girls night,” You called, keeping the innocent look on you face. His light eyes had grown dark, watching as you moved away. They followed the curve of you ass, very evident in the shorts you were wearing. You inwardly smirked at the effect you had and started up the stairs.

“Your grilled cheese is burning, by the way,” You called. You giggled at the quiet shit he let out and made your way back to Sarah’s room.

You, Kie, and Sarah spent the next several hours having as much fun as you could. After a few dance parties, a couple rounds of truth or dare, and intense argument about whether Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus was better that almost turned violent, you all collapsed on to the bed, turning on a random movie. Sarah and Kie fell asleep quickly, but you were wide awake, replaying the moment with Rafe in the kitchen.

You rubbed your thighs together, wanting nothing more than for Rafe to touch you. With a groan, you hopped out the bed and quietly escaped Sarah’s room. You had been to Sarah’s house several times before, but your knowledge of the layout was reduced to the path from the kitchen to Sarah’s room. You tiptoed down the hallway, trying to figure out which room was his. You a few doors down from Sarah’s, you could see a faint light from beneath the door frame. You knocked a couple times, then stood, waiting. It didn’t take long for Rafe to open the door. He was still shirtless, but had removed his sweatpants, leaving him in just his boxers. He smirked down at you, a hand coming up to cup the back of your head.

“You fucking tease,” He said before crashing his lips onto yours. You were almost knocked off your feet by the force of it. You placed your hands on his chest to stabilize yourself. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. Without breaking the kiss, he moved you into his room, kicking the door closed behind him. His hand moved down to your ass, gripping hard as he lightly slammed you against the wall. He broke the kiss, brushing your hair out of your face as his eyes examined your flustered face. The same hand slowly moved down your cheek until it was gripping your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful. Do you have any idea what you do to me? I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week, how I wanted to fuck you while you screamed my name.”

You let out a whimper at his words, breathing uneven. You could feel your panties become more and more soaked as his hand moved from your ass to your hip, playing with the waist band of your shorts.

“Then you come into my kitchen wearing this, getting me all worked up.” He laughed humorlessly, his hand diving below your waistband. His fingers ghosted across the soaked fabric that covered your center.

“Got yourself all worked up too, didn’t you?”

Your panties were pushed to the side, giving him space to run his fingers through your folds. You let out a moan as you nodded. His finger came up to his lips, sucking your wetness from them.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you,” He said before going on his knees in front of you. His breath fanned against your inner thighs as he slowly slid your shorts down your thighs. When they landed on the floor, you stepped out of them and kicked them across the floor. Rafe placed gentle kisses across your thighs and stomach, avoiding the spot you needed him most. You whimpered as his mouth hovered over your clothed clit.

“What do you want, baby?” Rafe said.

“Touch me, Rafe, please, I need you!” You moaned out. He was quick to respond, fingers deftly moving your underwear aside, giving him space to wrap his lips around your sensitive bundle, lightly sucking. You moaned so loudly it was almost a scream. Rafe gave a hard slap to your ass in response, looking up at you.

“Uh uh, not too loud, angel. Don’t want your friends to hear, do you?”

You shook your head quickly, hand reaching down to push him closer to your pussy. He chuckled before compiling, licking a strip up your center, thumb moving to rub circles against your clit. Your head fell back against the wall as he continued his movements. His tongue delved into you, flicking in and out. One of his arms wrapped around your thigh, holding you up while spreading you wider. You were already a mess of pleasure when he slowly pushed two fingers into you, tongue moving up to you clit. You bit your lip to surpress your moans, but it was difficult as his fingers started to move faster. It became too much and a single, long moan escaped your mouth. Rafe’s movements ceased. He removed his fingers from you and stood up, hand gripping your hair, pulling it to where there was more pleasure than pain,

“What the fuck did I say?” He asked. Your tried to rub your thighs together, trying to regain the friction you had lost, but he moved his leg between your own.

“I’m sorry, Rafe. Please, I’ll be quiet, I promise,” You whimpered.

He smirked at you.

“Yes you will.”

He kissed you again, tongue dominating your own as he explored your mouth. He dragged you to the bed, throwing you down on your back before returning to his knees, pulling you to the edge of the mattress. He nearly ripped your panties off, mouth diving back to taste your dripping center. His hand reached up, clasping over your mouth, while the other returned to your entrance, fingers fucking you roughly. It didn’t take long before you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. Your screams were muffled behind Rafe’s hand as he continued to lick and suck on your clit, fingers pounding into you. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you came on his fingers. You felt him smirk as you clenched around him, but his movement didn’t let up. He moved his hand up under your shirt to massage your breast while his tongue moved down to fuck your entrance. He went back an forth between your entrance and you clit, hand moving between both your breasts to roughly massage them. Your second orgasm came fast and hard, leaving you with stars behind your eyes as he lapped up your juices.

He moved up your body, biting and sucking across your torso, leaving bright red and purple marks like constellations. He reached your face and removed his hand, kissing you hard and allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. He broke away, pulling your shirt over head and throwing it to the side before standing up, pulling his boxers off. You bit your lip as you stared at his cock, wanting nothing more than to wrap your lips around it. He stroked himself a few times, taking in your fuck out look and the hungry look in your eyes.

“Don’t worry, baby, you’ll get to taste my cock later. Right now, I want to feel you.”

He reached into his bedside table and pulled out a condom. He ripped it open and rolled it over his dick, stroking it a few for times. He stood over you, eyes once again raking over your body.

“God, look at you. You’re gonna take me so good.” He leaned over you, hand coming up to grip your throat. A moan started to escape your lips at the pressure, but he caught it with a kiss. He pushed himself into you as he kissed you, giving you little time to adjust to his size before he started pounding into you. He broke the kiss, holding himself up on his forearm as he thrusted into you. His hand tightened around your throat, muffling your loud moans slightly, leaving the only other sound in the room to be the slapping of skin and the dirty words Rafe whispered in your ear.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.”

“I’ve been wanting to fuck you like this for days.”

“Feel so much better than in my dreams, baby.”

“Taking that cock so well.”

After several minutes, his hand moved from your throat down to you clit, rubbing fast circles into it. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as his thrusts became harder, hitting that spot inside of you. You were so close. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, you could tell he was close too. He leaned down again, fingers still working your clit, and whispered, “Cum all over my dick, angel.”

You did as you were told, coming with a scream of his name, for a moment not caring if Kie and Sarah heard. Rafe wasn’t far behind you. He suddenly pulled out, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness. He removed the condom from himself and gave a few short stroked before coming across your chest and stomach.

“Fuck,” He whispered, more to himself than you. You heard him walk to the joining bathroom, but didn’t pay much attention. Your eyes were shut tight, trying to catch you breath and come to terms with what just happened. You just fucked Rafe Cameron. Hard. And, if you’re being honest with yourself, it was the best sex you’ve ever had.

Rafe returned with a wet towel, cleaning his cum off of you before collapsing beside you. He pulled back the covers and pulled you into his side under them. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat in his chest. His hand gently played with your hair, a stark contrast to his actions before.

You laid their in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. Eventually, you heard Rafe’s breath even out, quiet snores vibrating through his chest that you found adorable. You untangled yourself from his arm, slipping off the bed to gather your clothes and redress. Sneaking back to Sarah’s room, you hoped neither of the girls had noticed your absence, or heard you screaming Rafe’s name a few rooms down.

The next morning, Rafe woke feeling cold. He turned over to where you had been lying, the nights events running through his head and he hoped that it wasn’t just a dream. But he smiled when he noticed a yellow sticky note on the pillow beside him with a series of numbers and a note in your unique handwriting.

Text me :)

taglist: @bluesiderudy

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fic #obx fic #my writing

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