#all i can say is become your own blorbo

[jingerpi]

something weird after growing up unable to express your personhood (cult+queerphobia) is learning to understand how to relate to characters. learning that you can really like a character and see some aspect of yourself in them without them being literally you. it's so instinctual to hold characters so close and tightly and feel like they represent you and wash away anything characterizing them differently from you but over time you begin to learn to simply appreciate characters as what they are, as (fictional) people who are often as diverse and unique as real people, if not more so. it's okay to feel a connection to a character and have them be your favoritest even if they're different from you, it's okay, you can let go and acknowledge the things that make them different from you. maybe this is a hyperspecific experience that only applies to me and like 1 other person, but it really does feel like a strangely significant lesson in media and how to relate to it as a real person

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

[insertdisc5]

are there any fan works that have made you rethink one of your own characters?

no lol. however allow me to go on a tangent for a minute.

i have been on tumblr for a very long time. i have been in fandoms. i have made my fanworks. ive seen Stuff. so i know how people react to fandoms and characters they love. which is (and i mean this with no judgment! and even love!!!): fans add their own flavor to the characters, sometimes enhancing them, but also, sometimes, making the character. completely. unrecognizable

again, no judgment!!!!! ive done it myself!!! often!!!! all the time!!!! you can search for it here on my tumblr!!!! i've done it and i love doing it!!!! hashtag my blorbo now!!!! HOWEVER. when i was making ISAT, i did not think it would blow up like this. but i am someone who prepares for every eventuality, so i did think ok. well. what if it does blow up like this. and people. make. my little guys. from my heart. my bosom. absolutely. unrecognizable

all this to say that if you're making a project that could become Tumblrized(affectionate), or even any kind of project: i highly recommend writing down what your characters mean to you. why you made them like this. what made you go down this route. why did you make this project in the first place. what does this Mean To You And You Alone. so that if your character becomes Unrecognizable. you can still remember what you put in them first. and people can Tumblrize to their hearts content and you can be happy and the people can be happy and we can all hold hands having a different version of the blorbo in our brains

[aliceramblez]

Dating the Hazbin Hotel Residents 😈

Tags: GN!Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Mature Topics (ie. Suicidal Thoughts, Alcohol Abuse, SA, etc), Spoilers For The Show, etc.

A/N: Ahhh yes, more brainriot for the pile 😌 I was more of a Helluva gal before the show aired, but now I gotta say these blorbos are a dear part of my heart! Hopefully y'all enjoy these as much as I did writing them!

Consider following my main blog @taruchinator for more solid content & feel free to leave a request here for future HCs~

Charlie 🌈

When the Happy Hotel first opened its doors and all of Hell started making a mockery of it, you were probably the only one who took it as a sign to try and improve from the low life that you were. It's not like you had anything else to live for, anyway.

As soon as you enter the building, you're immediately greeted by the bubbly Princess of Hell herself (along with a reluctant Angel Dust) who is more than happy to show you around and welcomes you with open arms.

You've never been shown this much kindness and sympathy for your situation before, so it naturally takes you aback and makes you wonder what the catch is. Turns out there's none and the Princess is probably the only sweet soul to live in this shithole.

As you grow closer, she asks you to drop the title and just call her Charlie. She also shares a bit about her situation and how her mother wanted to save sinners from the extermination each year, and now Charlie felt like it was her duty to continue this legacy until her dreams came true.

You can't help but feel touched over how much she cares, so you silently vow to yourself to help her in any way you can, just like she's done for you.

It doesn't take long before the two of you grow even closer and feelings begin to blossom, but you decide to ignore them since why would a Princess ever like someone like you?

But Charlie proves you wrong yet again, since one day she comes to you a blushing mess and confesses her own feelings, asking if you'd like to go out with her. You can't help but vocalize your shock since she could do so much better than a random sinner. She deserved better, too.

She looks at you with fondness in her eyes. “You've been by my side for so long and supported me every step of the way. Who wouldn't fall for someone like that?”

And thus, you are the luckiest person in Hell because you scored Charlotte Morningstar, and whoever says otherwise can get a knife to their throat.

She's the perfect definition of a sweet and patient girlfriend, never pushing you to do anything you aren't comfortable with (since you really aren't used to such adoration in a romantic relationship), but as soon as you give her the get-go, she'll be sure to shower you with as much affection as she can until the doubts in your mind disappear completely.

You aren't that far behind either. Albeit not as good as her, you do your best to be a comforting partner whenever she needs you. This is especially necessary after an extermination happens, which always leaves Charlie devastated and in need of a hug or words of encouragement because she doubts herself sometimes and wonders if the hotel is even working at all.

You remind her how it brought the two of you together, to which she smiles and agrees that at least something good has come out of it so far.

Vaggie 🎀

Both you and Vaggie used to work in the same legion under Adam with the rest of his exorcists. You knew of each other's existence, but didn't really talk much aside from whatever was needed in the midst of battle.

The day she spares a demon child's life, you're doing your rounds nearby and witness the whole exchange, including Lute coming over and ripping both an eye and Vaggie's wings for showing mercy. You don't know why, but it makes your blood boil.

“HEY! What are you doing?! It was just a kid, why not let it slide?”

And just like that, you become a target of Lute's rage as well, being ripped from your angelic status along with receiving a few nasty cuts, yet surprisingly not as bad as Vaggie herself.

Once the two of you are left to die, you immediately try to tend the girl's wounds with whatever you can. Vaggie can only stare in disbelief at what you'd done and questions why you even did so in the first place—now you were stuck just like she was.

“Guess I just don't like seeing injustice... Who knew Heaven could be so fuckin' shitty?”

You both laugh at the irony of it all, and that's when luck is finally on your side as Charlie finds you in the dirty alley and brings you back to the hotel to heal properly.

For the next three years you two stay at the Hazbin Hotel, helping Charlie in any way you can to try and make her dream a reality since deep down you hope that despite Heaven's corrupt system, there can be a small chance that souls can be redeemed. You hide the fact that you're ex-Anges though, since you don't wanna cause unnecessary drama.

During this time period, the two of you become better friends, having your own inside jokes regarding things you didn't particularly enjoy from your time as Angels, as well as learning more about one another.

You're the one to come to terms with your feelings first and decide to lay them on the table for Vaggie to see—she's always been a straight-to-the-point kind of gal, so if you're about to be rejected, might as well have it be done quick. But of course, she replies with her own declaration and desire to give a relationship a shot, which you're ecstatic about!

It's a bit hard at first since you never got to see much of romantic relationships in Heaven while training for murder every year, but you try and make it work. Both you and Vaggie work endlessly to try and make the other happy, and it only makes you fall for each other even more.

Also Charlie is your go-to wingwoman who will be there to give you the best advice to try and woo your girlfriend. She ships you two so hard.

Angel Dust 🕸

Working at a porn studio under an Overlord who owns your soul can be exhausting. You know this better than anyone since everyone who works under Valentino has contracts that won't let you get far with a leash. This is especially true with your friend Angel Dust.

You know about the things Valentino does to the spider demon—hell, everyone in the studio probably knows, but know better than to say anything about it. You're always there for Angel after particularly rough shoots, doing your best to comfort him in any way you can, though there isn't much you can do given you're in the same spot.

When he tells you he's moving to Princess Charlie's Hazbin Hotel, you're so happy for him! At least that will give him some distance from Valentino and his disgustingly filthy hands when he's not working.

This unsurprisingly doesn't bode well with the Overlord, causing him to throw fits of rage around the studio when Angel leaves for the day. You can't help but make a snarky comment that you definitely regret moments later.

“Can one blame him for wanting space from such an overbearing asshole?”

Without his favorite stress toy around, you end up paying the price for such comments. The kind of pain and suffering he puts you through is completely different from what you're used to. Is this the stuff he does to Angel? He leaves you naked, bruised and bloody in your room, and all you can do is muster what little strenght you have left to head for the Hazbin Hotel.

As soon as the door opens, you immediately tumble forward and start losing consciousness. The last thing you remember is Angel's horrified expression before it all fades to black.

Once you wake up and have been patched up, you explain what happened at the studio, and you could've sworn you saw fire in Angel's eyes as he holds on to you, fearing you might disappear at any moment. He begs you to stay in the hotel with him, and you agree without hesitation.

And so, your new routine of heading to work and then coming back to the hotel becomes blissful, not having to deal with that lunatic mothman more than necessary. You also get to spend time off with your best friend, which is always a plus.

Well, ‘best friend’ might not be the best way to describe it. You'd developed a crush on the spider demon even before this whole incident occurred, and now that you were spending more time with him, it only continued to grow.

With the line of work you two had, romantic relationships didn't seem to be a thing that crossed anybody's mind since why have a permanent partner when you could just go around fucking the hottest people in Hell? But you knew your feelings were far beyond from sexual, but didn't wanna ruin what you already had going for you.

One heartfelt drunken conversation after work however, makes you do a double take—Angel likes you back. And that both scares and excites you. But with both of you going over the pros and cons with each other, you decide to give it a chance.

You make sure to always have Angel's consent when it comes to physical intimacy—anything from holding his hand, to kissing to just cuddling. He jokes about not being a porcelain doll, but deep down you know he appreciates it.

You're also there for the rough nights, when he comes home wanting nothing more than to die again and let the earth swallow him whole. Words of reassurance are spoken and you can only hold him and let him cry as you vow to do anything in your power to stop this from happening again.

Husker 🍺

As one of the first guests of the hotel, like any wayward sinner, you find yourself in the bar more often than you'd like. Alcohol killed you in the first place, yet not even in the afterlife could you seem to pull yourself from its grasp.

It's a somewhat welcome surprise to find out that the bartender is going through a similar struggle. He still serves you drinks and lends and ear whenever he's not busy, but will occasionally drop the words of wisdom to watch your fill.

Eventually you two find yourselves doing this little back and forth and aid each other when you're in your dark places—Husk won't let you near the bottle if he sees you're about to knock yourself out, meanwhile you're there to look after him when he has one too many drinks and can't take care of himself.

Not to say he isn't a good drinking buddy—you've found out most of the gossip around the hotel thanks to this sneaky little cat demon and there's never a dull moment with him around.

You learn about his deal with Alastor during a particularly bad night, when Husk's had one too many and isn't thinking straight. You don't bring it up, but now have an eye open for whenever the Radio Demon drags your friend away.

Angel's the one who brings up your questionable relationship to the surface.

“So... you two like, fuckin' each other, or what?”

Your entire face goes red, and if it weren't for the dark fur you could swear you see Husk looking the same. He's quick to get rid of Angel's nosy ass, but now the seed has been planted in your brain—do you like Husk that way?

After careful consideration, you come to the conclusion that yes, you do. And it's honestly kinda terrifying considering how relationships don't usually work out in Hell, at least from what you've seen. Besides, even if you did try and confess, there was always the possibility of him not feeling the same and just being embarrassed by Angel's comment.

So in an attempt to make your feelings disappear, you stop frequenting the bar. Who knew the best way to stop drinking habits was trying to avoid spending time with your unrequited crush?

But of course, Husk isn't stupid. He sees the change in your behavior and let's it slide for a while, until he eventually corners you and asks what's wrong. You decide to get it all out of the way and tell him how you feel.

To the embarrassment of both of you, he holds your hand firmly between his and darts his eyes toward the corner of the room. “Next time you should ask before going off assuming things, ya got it?”

And so, your glass may have been empty that day, but your heart had never felt fuller.

Sir Pentious 🐍

You meet Sir Pentious when you sign into the hotel, and your immediate thought is just how can this snake man be so adorkable, it should be illegal.

As you greet the other residents and staff, you're quick to strike a conversation with him, which based on his body language he was not expecting. He starts telling you a bit about his weaponry and other contraptions, and you can't help but be fascinated by it.

You're a bit of a tinkerer yourself, albeit you've only dabbled in small scale projects—nothing compared to the massive canons and aircrafts that Pentious seems to be familiar with.

He acts like a kid opening gifts on Sinmas when he talks to you about his inventions, clearly never having anyone show interest before. Eventually he'll even ask for your input on certain smaller projects he wants to work on to help around the hotel, all to thank Charlie for being so kind to him and giving him a second chance. You're obviously eager to help!

You two start spending so much time together that the egg boys have started calling you ‘Boss #2’, much to Pentious' embarrassment and your amusement.

One afternoon once exercises are done for the day, the snake demon seems much more fidgety than usual as he invites you over to his room to continue working on his security system prototype. He's a blabbering mess once he has you sitting down and your heart just can't help but swell at each little syllable.

“Dearest (y/n)... you've, um, well... you are a huge inspiration for my work! A-And I wouldn't have been able to create any of this... without your help. You are kind, and smart and very talented.... and w-well, um I-”

You gotta silence the man with a kiss otherwise you two would be here all day. He's puddy in your hands and you can only giggle in return. “I really like you too, Pen.”

Everyone is either saying they called it or groaning in annoyance because fucking FINALLY, you two were just dancing around each other like idiots. The egg boys are just so happy to have someone else besides Pentious to be in their lives, and will do their best to look out for you just like with their own boss.

So yeah, prepare yourself for some sickeningly sweet gestures from this guy cause he will go above and beyond to get you what you need/want even if it kills him (again). And you can confidently say that you'd do the same in return.

Alastor 📻

After running in the same circles when you were alive, it's no surprise to you to end up in Hell, although you never would've suspected that you'd find yourself in the same place as him. It was honestly a huge relief not having to go through this all by yourself.

As Alastor exerted his dominance over Hell as the Radio Demon, you were powerful enough to be an Overlord yes, but rather liked keeping it on the down low instead of making a spectacle of yourself (Alastor was the one for theatrics anyway). Because of this, only select few knew of your true power and what you were capable of.

Instead, if there was one thing you were known for, it was being the only soul allowed to be close to the Radio Demon without the risk of death.

Yes, Alastor was a sadistic, cold-blooded and egotistical mastermind, but he wasn't a monster. You knew that better than anyone. Although the reactions he had to other demons treating you like a joke or calling you the ‘Radio Demon's Pet’ were not helping his case.

“ł₣ ɎØɄ V₳ⱠɄɆ ɎØɄⱤ ₴ØɄⱠ, ɎØɄ ₩łⱠⱠ ₩₳Ⱡ₭ ₳₩₳Ɏ Ɽł₲Ⱨ₮ ₦Ø₩ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ ł Ɽł₱ ł₮ ₳₱₳Ɽ₮ ฿ł₮ ฿Ɏ ฿ł₮...”

“Al, chill. You're gonna make them shit their pants.”

After his seven year absence, you immediately noticed something was wrong with him, and wouldn't stop pestering until he told you the truth—A deal he made and how his soul was now bound to someone much more powerful than he was.

You were obviously mortified and started looking into ways to try and find a loophole to this, but alas the Radio Demon would just give you his signature grin and tell you not to worry about it. It was his battle to face.

But of course you're quick to remind him that you've stuck together through thick and thin even in life, so there was no way you were letting him handle this by himself. You work as a team—always have and always will. You engulf him in a hug.

“We're gonna figure this out, Al. I promise...”

The grin remains, but his eyes widen slightly in surprise. He hesitantly returns the embrace, patting your back and wiping the tears you didn't even know you were shedding.

“There there~ To think such a sweet and innocent soul wound up in a gutter like this. I cannot say I complain as long as I have your delightful company beside me.”

And so when he says he has a plan that involves Princess Charlie Morningstar and her new Happy Hotel, you follow along. Whatever fate has in store for you two, you'll be ready.

Also Charlie is a sweetheart who could do no harm. Knowing Alastor, he'll probably do whatever he can here and there to help around for the cause. You also offer your services as an undercover Overlord, much to everyone's surprise when you reveal your status.

The Radio Demon may have a plan, but something tells you it won't involve bloody murder (unless extremely necessary or if someone really pissed him off).

Like you said—he's not a monster.

Lucifer 🍎

You and Lucifer were good friends at the beginning of Creation. While you were stuck with the tedious task of designing blueprints for the new ‘Human Project’ that headquarters had in store, Lucifer's Seraphim status allowed him to bring creations to life with the flick of a wrist, much to your delight and wonder.

His ideas and pitches for Earth were always so entertaining to listen to, and you would do your best to encourage him to show them to the higher ups to get them approved—His mind was just filled with joy and love and wonder that you'd never seen before.

Which was why it was always so disappointing whenever he'd come back and say that he was shut down and even mocked at. How could Heaven shut down such an imaginative mind in the creation of their biggest project yet?

To say you were devastated when you heard about his fall would be an understatement. You mourned the loss of your friend, knowing that he'd done nothing wrong and thinking it wasn't fair to him to receive such punishment just because he cared for the future of humanity.

Thousands of years later, you overhear the plan for Extermination of Hell kind. You didn't mean to walk by, yet here you were, under the direct eye of the Head Seraphims about to be downcast for something you had no control over—just like Lucifer.

“You're all self-entitled pricks! You think you can do whatever you want just because it doesn't follow what you define as good!”

You get a few good arguments before being cast downwards, leaving you in bad shape in a random alley with no wings and no means of escape. That is of course, until destiny seems to be on your side and Lucifer finds you, completely perplexed to see you here at all.

After getting treated, you tell him about the Extermination so he and Hell can prepare. The conversation of you getting cast down by Heaven gets glossed over, but he can feel the fury building up inside him. You were always doing things by the book—how could they do this to you?

Once the slaughter is over, Lucifer gets a meeting with Heaven and secures protection for both his daughter Charlie and you, to which they begrudgingly agree to keep him outta their hair. You can't help but feel touched by this gesture.

He's also quick to offer you a room to stay in, but you compromise by living in a seperate building from him and Charlie so you aren't a bother even though he says you aren't. In fact, ever since Lilith left, he's had to take care of his young daughter all by himself, so he's more than happy when you offer to help.

It doesn't take long for your feelings to start coming into the surface from all those years ago, and you gotta push them away because he's both married and has a child to look after! Besides, why would the King of Hell ever look in your direction?

Eventually though, he brings up the question with nothing but sweaty palms and a customized rubber ducky that says ‘I love you’ whenever you squeeze it. You blush furiously, but can't help but bring up your concerns, not wanting to replace Lilith in his heart. He looks into your eyes and says that he hasn't been as happy as he is now in the past thousand years.

Cue baby Charlie walking in on everything, and she just smiles and goes innocently. “Daddy! Is (y/n) staying home with us now?”

You two can only chuckle at the cuteness of it and you immediately go to hug her. You couldn't believe that you were blessed with such a wonderful family.

[deerspherestudios]

I’m super curious about Atom!!!! Firstly, they’re so cute :(((( I would be so nice to them right off the bat. I could match that energy (maybe not the…liquefying people part, but I can Definitely meet the upbeat “get to know you” energy!!!!)

But I’m also curious about their little “worm transform-y” ability. There are a TON of implications to what they said about it, and I’m very interested to know which of those implications are true

So maybe I’m taking Atom too literally, but I’m pretty sure at one point they said “I can make your air.” Which, they WOULD need to make MC air, if they were to keep you in space forever. Air is limited.

But you can’t breathe in worms. So that means Atom’s worm (body?) transformation legitimately BECOMES whatever they will it to. Not just imitates. That dog food wasn’t worms, it was dog food. And the air isn’t worms, it’s air!!

And then that stretches into other questions. Could Atom take any form they wish? What would happen if they transformed all their worms? Can they feel when their worms (body??) are being transformed?

You don’t have to answer that slew of questions at the end lmao—maybe I’m reading too much into it. But!! I LOVE Atom and all the implications that their existence holds. I had a lot of fun playing the game :DD

Aaa I'm really glad you like Atom as much as you do!! I don't know if it's just new blorbo energy but I get excited to talk about them, especially in detail like this haha! I'll try to explain below the cut about their ability to create things (tw// it's long!!) but to keep it short, you're actually correct!

TLDR: Atom reconstructs their worms into different forms of matter (whether solid/liquid/gas) to produce whatever you need to survive. Because, uh,,, science. <3

Here's the lengthy explanation of what Atom can do. I'm not smart enough to explain it but I'm stealing this from another website:

Transmutation or nuclear transmutation is a process that involves a change in the nucleus of an atom. When the number of protons in the nucleus of an atom changes, the identity of that atom changes as it is turned into another element or isotope.[1] This transmutation process can be either natural or artificial.

Simplifying it further for my character, when Atom talks about being better than a planet, they kinda are! They can make anything as long as they know what it is (I've yet to come up with 'how' they discover new elements,,, it's implied in-game but I wanna flesh it out more; ask me again later keheh), and the worms that make them up is an unlimited resource/material for those exact transmutations. And if something turns into waste, like the rejected dog food, they just crunch them up to be re-used all over again.

Remember what they said about being your 'angel'? Not to be too on the nose but in a way they turned the Bidadari into your own personal terrarium, with it being the ecosystem keeping you alive in space. Which, in my personal opinion, makes the ending much more terrifying.

Here's a lightning round to answer your questions because I don't know when I'll get these kinds of questions again!!

Could Atom take any form they wish?

Nope! They're still just worms! When they 'make' something it's no longer a part of them.

2. What would happen if they transformed all their worms?

Highly unlikely to happen, but let's say for experimentation's sake Atom is forced to use up all their worms and the end result is separated from it so they can't absorb it back into themselves like the dog food. It has to leave one single organism behind, but it can't really do anything. That single organism eventually will multiply all the way back to its former (mass wriggling) glory.

3. Can they feel when their worms (body??) are being transformed?

Nope! They don't really feel anything, at the most they feel pressure and temperature changes but that's it.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK HAVE A NICE DAY! HERE'S YOUR REWARD <3

[liesmyth]

Is it better if John erased their memories, or if they came back that way and he just decided not to fix them?

It's immensely better if he intentionally mindwiped them. TO ME.

I'm a John fan. I think he's a tremendous tragic antagonist, and that everything he does in the HtN backstory is relatable if not painful familiar. He was under immense pressure, trying to mitigate the literal end of the world, having his mind and his whole self changed in ways he had no frame of reference to understand. He went from being desperate and trying to do his best to being carried away by circumstances to going absolutely fucking insane. There are many ways to rationalise John's actions all the way to the end, which is what makes it such an effective corruption arc. If you want to engage in some blorbo apologism, there are plenty of excuses to be found.

There's absolutely no fucking way to excuse mind-wiping his friends. THAT is why it's so important to me that he did it deliberately, in cold blood, justifying it to himself as a way to take their burdens upon himself so they wouldn't have to feel guilty. He removed their agency. He didn't want any peers in the world he'd created. He could have acknowledged what had happened, for better or worse, and tried to make amends - but instead, he chose to remove their knowledge that something had even happened in the first place. It's the turning point! I need him to go into that with his eyes fully open. He's doing it on purpose! He weighed the pros and cons and prioritised his comfort over his friends' identities.

EYE believe that his story arc is infinitely more powerful if there's a point we can look at and say "here is when John's story went from things happening TO HIM to John doing terrible things". Especially in a backstory that's ultimately about divine corruption and losing touch with your humanity, I think that turning point needs to be something that has a personal value to him, something that can't be chalked up to "he was high on death" or "humanity was doomed" or even "he touched the soul of the earth and went insane."

I think it's important, thematically, that one of his first actions after acquiring godlike powers was to make sure that no one would be able to remember his human self and challenge him on equal footing, even if he's still internally lamenting his own loneliness and wishing things were different.

Obviously, this is all coming from a known John Girlie™ and Eldritch Alecto Enjoyer — I interpret John's ascension to quasi-divinity as something that was mostly imposed ON him and he couldn't control, which is why I need him to cross the moral event horizon outright with the mind violation of his inner circle. Someone who views John as more directly culpable in the end of the earth might feel less strongly about the importance of the mindwipe in his story arc than I do, but TO ME it's the culmination of the tragedy. You've become the inhuman horror, baby.

/post that inspired the question

[ckret2]

How do you have the willpower to not consume content from any of your other fandoms? I always get pulled in and out of the same ones and it stops me from getting projects done but I get so bored! Teach me your ways!

So the downside of ADHD is that it takes a ridiculously high amount of effort to push yourself to do things—even things you want to do and like doing—unless you put even more effort upfront into making it convenient for yourself.

But the upside is, if you know this about yourself, and if there's media you want to not be consuming, you just...... don't do anything to make it convenient to consume.

I don't have Amazon Prime. All I have to do is not bother to get Amazon Prime (easy!!) and not bother to hunt out a way to watch Hazbin some other way (also easy!!) and bam, I've got a 100% success rate of not watching it.

Do you know how many Transformers series I'm currently behind on? I sure don't! Because I haven't put the effort into looking it up! I can't be assed! There's like, at least three I think! Don't tell me, I'm not currently interested in finding out!! It would take work for me to figure it out; I can just go "work?? Naaah. Not doing that."

You can resist temptation by just being too lazy to pursue it! Make that ADHD work for YOU!

Caution: if you can't get yourself to put effort into doing anything that brings you pleasure, that's either Pretty Serious Depression or it's gonna cause Pretty Serious Depression and it's not good. However. If you master the art of ADHD, you can save up the effort you didn't put into distractions, and use it to put effort into different activities that also make you happy.

Last year I picked up a podcast about cults. It's all right. But because I'm already listening to it and spotify keeps pushing it to the top of my screen, when I need a low-effort audio distraction, it's easier for me to default to putting on the podcast about cults than it would be for me to, say, dig up The Magnus Protocol to start it. And bam! Now I'm doing more research that'll help me write about a cult leader, for free, by listening to a podcast I'm not at risk of hyperfixating on!

Part of avoiding breaking your own hyperfixation is figuring out what media you enjoy, but don't hyperfixate on. Because you still need to, like, have fun. That's why you wanna watch The Things You Like, because it's fun. If you're not having fun you'll wanna go watch The Things You Like, and rightly so. So you've gotta make sure you're having enough fun with things you don't hyperfixate on.

Like, I know that when I watch Columbo or read Poirot, I find the detectives charming while I'm observing them, and then almost as soon as the mystery is over I stop thinking about them. They aren't the kind of characters that latch into my brain. I know they won't become blorbos. So I'm safe there. I know I enjoy horror movies but 99% of the time totally forget who the characters are, like if there's 2 white guys and 2 white girls it is guaranteed I won't be able to tell them apart, so they're safe to watch, I'm not gonna hyperfixate on them. I know that I enjoy nonfiction/educational books & podcasts, but I only hyperfixate on fiction, so it's safe for me to pick up nonfiction. If it's nonfiction that's somehow thematically relevant to whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on, it even helps feed the current hyperfixation.

And those are my "protect your hyperfixation" lifehacks.

On the other hand, if you, anon, don't personally have ADHD, then I can't help you. idk how people with executive function function.

Final advice: if you know you keep falling in and out of the same 3 or 4 fandoms, maybe try writing a crossover fic about all 3 or 4 fandoms at once. That way it won't matter which one you're currently into. You win no matter what. I've never actually tried this, don't trust this advice.

[aihoshiino]

Rie Takahashi Interview (Oshi no Ko Anime Guidebook: First Report)

In the recently released First Report guidebook, a number of key staff members from the Oshi no Ko anime project were interviewed about their work on the show - so you can imagine my excitement when I saw that not only was Takahashi one of those interviewed, but that she had a lot to say about her performance as Ai and how she interpreted her character. I just had to translate it!

I will say up front that I have no intention of translating the other interviews in the book - this one took me long enough as it was and I fully admit it was pure blorbo bias that kept me going the whole time lol. Given that an English release of Glare x Sparkle is already in the works at YenPress, I imagine an English version of First Report might not be far behind so be sure to support it when it comes out. I'm just impatient lol.

As usual, this TL is a combo of my own comprehension, various online dictionaries such as Jisho.org, some MTL and me collapsing, weeping into smarter people's DMs to beg for their help. If you catch any mistakes, please let me know!

Anyway, enough rambling. Check out the interview behind the cut!

Please tell us about your favourite scene and line from episode 1.

Since Ai only appears in the first episode, I really wanted to make every moment count, so each and every one of her lines are special in their own way. It's hard to choose just one, but as a fan of the original work, the line "lies are an exceptional form of love" was one I was especially particular about. Since it's the line that truly encapsulates everything about Ai, I wanted to make sure that one stuck in people's minds.

You've said in the past you were an 'Oshi no Ko' fan even before being involved in the project.

While I was reading the original work, I actually admired Akane-chan the most. Obviously, I loved Ai as well, but being a voice actress myself, I was particularly interested in how a genius actress like Akane-chan prepared for her roles and what performances she'd go on to give. The chapters where she rises above all the online harassment especially left a huge impression on me. Anyone who's worked as a creative or even just in the public eye probably knows what a pulse-pounding experience it can be when you see slanderous comments about yourself - feeling like all of society has turned its back on you and you have nowhere to belong, and not being able to talk to your parents about it. It was depicted with such care and detail that I ached with her as I read it. But then, seeing her rise back up and declare "I don't want to quit like this" gave me a lot of strength. I wanted to become an actress like Akane-chan, who could come back to acting no matter what struggles I went through.

Since I loved Akane-chan so much, when I heard there were auditions for 'Oshi no Ko', I thought "I want to play her!". I even had the thought of 'Since the original work touches so deeply on what it means to be an actor, if they don't get a good actor for this, I might end up hating Oshi no Ko!' (laughs)

As a result, when I was cast as Ai, I knew I had to step up my game. I told myself, "If I'm going to play Ai, I need to give it my everything. Anything less won't do." I gave it my all with that in mind.

Did you audition for the role of Ai?

Yes, I did. But I couldn't get Akane-chan out of my mind, so I gave her a shot at the table audition. When I was preparing, I went over the manga at home and tried voicing each character and scene and there's a part in episode seven where Akane-chan mimicks Ai as she says "I sure am sleepy. We record way too early". When I tried that scene, I went "Hold on, maybe I really am the best fit for Ai?"

I guess my hunch was right because I didn't even make it through the first screening for Akane (laughs). Because of that experience, I'm deeply grateful to (Iwami) Manaka-chan for playing my beloved Akane-chan. I love both her work and her approach as an actress, so I'm thrilled to be working alongside her. I started off as a troublesome hardcore fan thinking "If they don't cast good actors for 'Oshi no Ko,' I might end up hating it!" but now I'm just like "thank you, voice actors!!" (laughs)

Were there any scenes you thought would be particularly difficult to perform based on the script or the original work?

So, I prepared for the role by going over volume 1 of the manga, the scenes where Akane-chan channels Ai and the short story, but there wasn't much more material at the time (laughs). So just preparing for the role was tough.  During recording, I sometimes checked in with (Akasaka) Aka-sensei about Ai. Now the story has progressed and Ai's character has become more defined, I secretly get a little nervous every time I read a new chapter. "I hope my performance in episode 1 wasn't off... I hope...!" (laughs) Obviously, Aka-sensei and the team were present during recordings, so my portrayal was probably fine but a revelation about her could still catch me out (laughs)

What sort of things did you hear from Akasaka-sensei?

There's a scene where Ai talks to her ex on a public payphone. I had to make sure there was the right amount of distance between them, and whether or not Ai still had any attachment to or fondness for him. I'm the sort of fan who enjoys analyzing the original work so I had mixed feelings about getting told the answer (laughs). But because I knew all the ins and outs of her backstory, I could contextualize her behaviour and the things she says and does.

Another scene was when Ai was scouted off the street and talked about her past, mentioning being abused by her mom. She wasn't saying it with the sense of "it hurts, I can't take it, I want to die" but instead she weaponizes it like "look at what I've been through, poor little me, right?". I tried to make my performance a balance of resilience with her vulnerability.

Also, I was directed to keep the monologue before Ai gets stabbed "emotionless", so I ended up giving a much more detached and matter of fact performance than I'd initially planned.

Were you mindful of the differences between Ai in her private life and Ai on stage when performing?

The tricky part of portraying Idol Ai is that if I make her too distinct, she'll stop being Ai. For example, if I play her as an innocent, optimistic idol, she'd be Ruby, not Ai. I focused less on "what to do as Ai" and more on "what not to do". In "Viewpoint B," Ai says, "The "idol" Ai is pretty much the complete opposite of who I really am, but she's the person I'd like to be." so that was the feeling I used as my reference when portraying Idol Ai. Incidentally, in my work as a performer, I purposely try to avoid drawing a line between my public and private self. So for Ai as well, the switches between the real Ai and the idol Ai feel surprisingly seamless to me. It's not that there are two distinct faces, but that Idol Ai exists inside the real Ai so it's more a question of which side of herself she shows at any given moment.

Ai’s fans in the original story only know the Idol Ai. What do you think draws them to her?

Like in the lyrics of YOASOBI's song "Idol," she's nonchalant, carefree, and easygoing. I could've portrayed Idol Ai as more cutesy, bubbly and flirtatious, but I felt that wouldn't have a convincing appeal to characters in the story like Gorou-sensei and the otaku who support her. I wanted to make sure it was believable that idol otakus in this world end up falling for her. I think it's her more laid back vibe, not the hyper energetic or "look at me!" type, that charms people.

So what would you say is the appeal to fans in the real world who know her full backstory?

Firstly, Ai-chan's overwhelming visual appeal. When you think of shocking pink and purple, you think of Ai! (Yokoyari) Mengo-sensei’s art is so powerful, and the glittering animation is also fantastic. I also find Ai's professionalism in her work really appealing. While she has the cuteness of an idol, she's not just cute—she works with an incredible level of dedication and professionalism. I admire and love her for everything, including her behind-the-scenes efforts. It's impressive, she’s really cool! 

I’ve ended up with a lot more respect for the word ‘idol’ as a result. In the past, when my voice acting involved singing, dancing, and participating in unit activities, being described as an "idol voice actress" didn't quite sit right with me. But now, I realize how honorable and responsible that title is. Idols work hard behind the scenes, constantly smiling while singing and dancing, and performing so brilliantly. If there are moments when I'm called by the same title as those incredible idols, I feel I need to make an effort to match their quality, or it would be disrespectful. It really motivates me to do my best.

There’s a line in Ai's monologue where she says "I wanted to love someone, I wanted someone to love." Why do you think Ai wanted to give love rather than receive it?

It could be that she's looking for somewhere to belong, hoping that "if I can love, I might be loved in return". Ai's history of abuse and mistreatment likely made the love she received feel very different from the love most people experience. I think it all stems from Ai thinking of herself as an abnormal person - she might have believed that to be loved, she needed to become someone who could genuinely love others. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation with a lot of complex feelings. That’s just how I interpret it, though.

And in the end, she realizes her love for the twins is not a lie.

I think that Ai loved the twins all along, not just in that last moment. But the word “love” was like a curse for her, so she couldn't actually say it. That feeling only intensified after I watched the anime. There's an anime original bit where Ai kisses the twins on the foreheads and says, “I'm off,” when she leaves for work. That's the kind of thing you can only do with love - she was just too scared to actually put it into words. Though she was able to express her love fully in her final moments, it’s still sad it took such an extremely situation for her to be able to say it. If it’d never happened, or if she’d simply put the door chain on, she might never have said it. She might have always struggled to say those words. But it’s thanks to the twins she learned how to love. Even the love she has for her fans, that she derided as a lie, was always true. And when she told Ryosuke-kun, “I want to love you,” I think she was already loving him even then.

In the audio commentary included on the Blu-ray & DVD bonus disc, I was struck by the mention of Ai being so nervous before she says “I love you” to Ruby and Aqua, that she takes a deep breath. What sort of direction were you given for that line?

There wasn’t any direction, actually. During the recording, my focus was entirely on expressing Ai’s breathing after being stabbed, how much blood she was losing, and the urgency of conveying her final words. It was an intense experience. It’s a rare moment as a voice actor to feel like me and the character I'm playing have our hearts beating in sync, but this was one of those times. I think I was genuinely nervous myself as well. I could feel my heart pounding and my chest clenching like when you’re about to make a confession. That feeling still hasn’t left me.

Additionally, in the last monologue of episode 11, where Aqua reflects on Ai's words after she was stabbed, we couldn't use the original recording from the first episode. The recording from the first episode captured a raw and genuine emotion, as Ai was gasping for breath. So we re-recorded it with the intention that the more it resonated warmly within Aqua, the more unforgettable those words would become for him. I wanted to make sure that Ai’s final words would leave a lasting impact, something Aqua would revisit in his mind over and over again. Personally, I approached the recording with a deep sense of love, like passing the baton and saying, “Thank you, everyone, for your hard work in the first season.” There was a lot of warmth during that session, not just towards the twins, but towards the entire cast, staff, and the "Oshi no Ko" project itself.

What were your thoughts upon reading 45510?

I got to the end and I was like “Don’t delete the blog! I want to know more!” (laughs) The entire story felt like a box that really shouldn't be opened. Everything from the meaning behind the password numbers to the fact that Ai left behind a blog wanting to reconcile made it feel like Ai really, truly wanted to love the other girls in B-Komachi even when they were jealous of her.

In the anime, we only get a brief moment of interaction between Ai and the other members - that moment during dance practice, when one of them says, "You look kinda down, Ai-chan" and Ai replies with a smile, "That’s not it. I didn’t get to eat lunch!" So I was careful that Ai’s response didn't feel sour at all. If the sigh she let out before they spoke to her had even a hint of annoyance, it would’ve been a reason the other girls took offense with her. I felt like Ai’s invincibility should’ve been the main factor for their issues with her.

It’s just a brief interaction in the anime, but ‘45510’ really fleshed out that distance between Ai and the B-Komachi members. I based my understanding of these boundaries in her relationships on ‘45510’ and ‘Viewpoint B’ and I also read ‘Oshi no Ko: Spica, the First Star’ to get a fuller picture. The more I read, the more I understood - Kana Arima’s got the right idea!

YOASOBI’s song ‘IDOL’ closes out episode one.

The music itself was impactful, but the music video that was released after the first episode aired was something else altogether. We watched the first episode together with the cast, and then, after seeing the music video, I felt overcome by Ai’s presence all over again - I was left speechless by how powerful the experience was. "Oshi no Ko" really is an immersive experience. I mean, you willingly open YouTube and relive Ai's death yourself. Even after everything was conveyed in the main story, the music video introduced new layers of emotions and concepts. Seeing how YOASOBI's song "Idol," which was about Ai, resonated with so many people really made me realize all over again just how significant Ai's impact was!

And then you yourself sang IDOL at the Strawberry Productions☆Fan Thanksgiving Festival 2023 (FanFest).

For me, "Idol" is a challenging song to sing even at karaoke. So, when they asked me to sing it at the FanFest my initial reaction was, "Oh, that might be too much!" (laughs). It’s not a song that you can easily perform live (laughs). It's a song that only an incredible artist can pull off, so when I thought about singing it live on stage, I was like, "Really? Me?" But when I saw the setlist for the live part of the FanFest, I started feeling like, "Actually, I think I should give it a shot." As a performer, I had some reservations about whether I could deliver the quality it deserved, but the "Oshi no Ko" fan in me couldn't resist. I was like, "Everyone wants to see Ai's voice actress sing 'Idol'" (laughs). After a lot of back-and-forth, I decided to go for it. I understood how Kana Arima felt when she joined the new B-Komachi. The joy of being relied upon by the team and the desire to meet the expectations of the work won out in the end.

Between “Our Sign is B”, “HEART's♡KISS” and “STAR☆T☆RAIN”, which is your favourite B-Komachi song?

That’s a tough one since they’re all A-side quality! (laughs) It was like, "Wow, B-Komachi is seriously awesome!" You can really feel the passion from the music team, like they were determined to bring the world of "Oshi no Ko" to life through these songs. It was also surprising to see how the series expanded from the manga into this whole new realm of music.

Was there anything specific you focused on while recording the project’s songs?

I tried not to change my tone just because it was a song. My focus was on making sure that when people listened, they could immediately recognize it as Ai's voice. At first, it was really hard to come up with a solid idea of what "Ai singing” sounded like. Usually, she's a pretty laid back and carefree, but she can’t exactly sing like that during a live performance. Ai’s a pro when it comes to entertaining the audience and enjoying the moment with them so I was constantly trying to find the right balance between Ai’s characteristic nonchalance and the high energy of a live idol performance. The first recording I did was for "HEART's♡KISS," and honestly, I ended up putting too much force into the opening line, "I'll send you a cheer." Since the song's theme is about sending everyone good vibes, I got too intense with my delivery. I got an ‘OK’ on that take but when I listened back to it, I felt that it wasn’t quite right, so I asked to redo just that part. If people didn’t immediately sense Ai at the very start, I worried that they wouldn't feel her presence throughout the entire song.

If you were to send a message to Ai, what would you say?

There’s so much I’d love to say to her, it’s hard to pick just one thing. Still, I think Ai was really happy in her life because she got to say "I love you" in the end. Even though her life might seem tragic to others, the feeling that stuck with me from playing her was a sense of incredible contentment. So, I’d probably just want to have a casual chat with her and watch over everyone together. Oh, but I’d definitely tell her to keep that door chain locked!

[sillygoofyqueer]

pls four i am trembling shaking sobbing at your wei qingwei thoughts??? my beloved darling big uncle i love him!!!

he seems like the type to call all his disciples by first name and like, have meals with them every so often. it seems like the master-disciple divide is pretty significant on other peaks (or maybe that’s just bc sqq is so reclusive?) but your wqw gives me ‘gathering around a real hearty stew and sharing stories from his own time as a disciple’ vibes.

like i can so easily picture him seeing a new disciple frustrated or scared or homesick, dropping a big, warm hand on their head, and going ‘hey kiddo, how about you help shifu in the forge for a while?’

(sometimes helping in the forge means pounding the shit outta some metal until you’ve worked some shit out of your system; sometimes it means passing wqw tools and listening to him explain what he’s doing in detail; sometimes it means sitting on a stool while shifu works and telling him about your parents and your big sister and the forest where you used to play together. in my heart, he’d make time for every disciple to help in the forge at least once)

also he’s got a stash of first aid supplies to rival qian cao, provided and maintained by mqf personally.

i love wqw now,,, please give me more of your thoughts when you have them,,, i am nourished i am fed i am grateful amen 🙏

HAAHAHHAHAA PROPAGANDA TO MAKE EVERYONE LOVE MY BELOVED BRAINWORMS FORMED MAN. He's so...he's SO....AGH. He's my blorbo now - MXTX didn't characterise him, so I DID IT MYSELF. AND YES YES YES, Wei Qingwei would definitely be emotionally intelligent enough to register when the disciples just need a bit of one-on-one time and definitely give it to them - if YQY is like the big brother of the sect, then WQW slides in as the father/cool uncle of the sect. If one of his disciples isn't feeling alright or just overly wants to curl up in a ball and cry, they can wander into WQW's personal forge/office and he'll greet them with a warm smile and a soft question of how they're feeling. He knows JUST what to say and how to react (Shen Qingqiu has found him in QJP library looking at parenting books. He doesn't say anything about it) to make them feel better. I like to think about the first time Yue Qingyuan met the head disciples - *pulls out the timeline* it says that YQY became head disciple of QDP at nineteen, and, assuming that Liu Qingge and WQW are the same age (we can see that disciples can become head disciples at young ages, with Ming Fan being head disciple of QJP (around 15/16) by the time the novel begins), they could well be head disciples. Or, we could have WQW as WJP head disciple and LQG hanging around with the guy (definitely a candidate for head disciple at this point). This is going off on a tangent, let me pull this back onto my original point instead of thinking about the logistics. YQY meeting one of the other head disciples for the first time (WQW), being really nervous and not really knowing what peak the head disciple is from (thanks for nothing, Shizun!!), gripping some important documents in regard of a mission they've got. He sees a fifteen year old who is far taller than him and definitely muscular under those (WAN JIAN???) robes, grinning at him with a sword (should he have that??) at his side and a thrashing fourteen year old in his grasp. "You must be Yue-shixiong! Liu-shixiong, greet Yue-shixiong!" He shakes the fourteen year old around by the scruff of his robes, and YQY is close to passing out - what do you mean this WJP disciple is teasing a BZP disciple with NO consequences?! Then he gets hit with the...what kind of beam does WQW have...a jiujiu beam??? Because that man definitely has siblings that he cares about a lot (ALL sisters, I'm telling you right now. That's to be described in a later yappering though) and cultivated the perfect jiujiu persona from a young age, just so he was ready for nieces and nephews that his sisters would have. There's no way someone can have a conversation with WQW without getting hit with the beam if he's all relaxed n normal personality. Imagine thinking you're going to be hanging out with younger shidi for a mission and finding a boy who is taller and more muscular than you awaiting your arrival with snacks and travel games planned.

[aftonfamilyvalues]

how women on here are reacting to the boxing situation is the final straw for me with radblr tbh.

like imagine this scenario for a second: people are making false claims about you that you not only can easily disprove with a simple, uninvasive test, but you've ALREADY DONE said test in the past so you'd just need to ask them to publish the results. you can debunk these claims with the same amount of effort required to push a button.

but you don't. you have Literally The Easiest Option In The World to prove you're right and you don't do it.

and yet because women have created their own OC for this guy in their heads who is a female with androgen issues they'd rather defend their self-made blorbo as a way to peacock about how "yes all women" and/or "not racist" they are than do 2 seconds of research and critical thinking to realize "hey maybe this situation that fits literally all the criteria for the dude being a male, including the fact that he's been previously disqualified from competing in the women's league TWICE yet shows up for the Female Olympics anyway, means he's actually just a liar and cheater"

i'm open to having some sympathy for him if his parents (tried to*) raise him as a girl but like. he's a fucking adult. he took a sex test. he knows who he is now. he's making his own decisions. one of these decisions is choosing to hide who he is.

*idc how misogynistic his parents are in believing "no vagina??? but no penis. no penis = female. because female = non-male.", if they knew he had a male-specific dsd that coloured how they raised and treated him, even if they tried to hide it. the act itself of hiding it from him and trying not to raise him that way makes their treatment of him already inherently different from how they'd raise him if he were actually female.

link here

im going to try to go about this in the most respectful way possible.

i cant say i agree with everything youre saying here. theres still a lot of misinformation about this and i cant say a slatz tweet is very satisfying for me given the racist and homophobic things ive seen from her. but, if what you say is true, that this boxer is an intersex male who was assigned female at birth, i think its completely unfair to treat her entirely as a man. the community tends to regard itself as a place for intersex women too, those with this particular dsd were not spared misogyny just because they unknowingly had xy chromosomes. learning they are biologically male with a dsd doesnt mean they have a desire to completely restructure their lives and identity around being men, i think thats kind of insane to expect.

that being said, i think there needs to be a reevaluation of fairness in sports and how intersex people fall into it. what advantages or disadvantages do intersex women carrying a y chromosome have over those that dont? what male charactistics (bone density, for example) still exist in these women? do they pose a danger to other women in their sport? what about other intersex conditions? at what point does it become unfair? unfortunately it could lead to their exclusion, and if that happens will there be another place for them? theres a lot to consider and things will have to change as we learn more. its not really a black and white situation in my opinion.

[danmei-confessions]

Hey hey! New here in SVSSS and still looking for new JiuYuan food came to tumblr for JiuYuan but I hope you allow me to defend my ship's other half blorbo. Twisting the story to hate on Shen Yuan or diminish all he has done and what he has become to the other characters is not the way to go. Maybe because I am a JiuYuan Shipper so I will defend both but for now this is mostly about SY.

There are what ifs that we can think that SJ could have done to get a happy ending for him and the world he is in but we don't need what ifs for the good ending that SY already gave SVSSS despite nobody knowing his real name and his own sufferings because the system won't allow him to talk.

SVSSS is a horror story FOR SY's situation at first because he knows what is supposed to happen in PIDW. He died, is brought to another world to be FORCED to do the crimes of someone else and pay for it. The system plays it off as a game and has no care for what SY feels. "Fail to do it and die, succeed to do it and you get years of torture. YAY! Immersion!" Imagine getting transmigrated to the Saw movie before the torture happens and you know if you do this bad thing, it will lead to the torture ending for your character. You would be stupid to do it, not to mention you are not a bad guy so just thinking of doing that bad thing makes you sick. But system is there watching your every move. You decide you would rather die instead because wtf your choices are only die or be tortured. But system gives you hope that with enough points, you don't need to do the bad thing anymore. But then after years the system tells you, actually this one bad thing is canon event so you still need to do it which will lead to the torture ending.

Unless you're a scum, the thought of hurting a puppy and let wolves bully it until it bleeds will torment your mind. Now imagine you are FORCED to do it because it's part of the story. Even though SY thinks that the characters are just fictional, he still cannot do it and would sneakily find ways around the system's rules to save LBH. The moment he is free of the restrictions, he is his own. That's not SJ anymore That's all SY. ALL the peak lords notice that he is not acting as SJ. He has the face of SJ but he is is far from acting like SJ. He is acting as what he thinks a respectable immortal master should be. But as time flows by and as he grows closer to the others, he is acting as SY. Read the extras, he actually loves to gossip with other peak lords. He is playful with LQG. He starts to shed his immortal, aloof façade when he got together with LBH. They're literally playing and flirting inside the bamboo house and outside when no one is looking. Sure SY is a PIDW critic online but how you are online is vastly different from how you are in real life. He is like a person who is first closed off and likes to act cool but starts to unravel the closer you are to them (and actually matches your freak). I would say even the fan gestures are part of his old life. The moment he opened his eyes, he reached for a fan. That is SY.

SY is an unreliable narrator of the people around him because that's what Airplane has written in the book. That's what SY thinks because that's what Airplane wants his readers to know. SY does not know about SJ and YQY's past and even LBH's parents because airplane did not add it on the PIDW. Once he found out what happened to SJ, he understood SJ but he also knows that whatever happened in the past does not allow you to abuse children that you have chosen as your disciple and is supposed to be under your guidance. (My JiuYuan headcannon screams only SY understands him. This is only headcannon do not attack my ship please I promise I will focus on SY here)

SY is also an unreliable narrator about himself because his psychological defense mechanism is compartmentalization. He is literally downplaying all that is happening to him so that he will not break down. He even downplays all the good things he has done. MXTX is so great at this that readers missed the parts where SY actually is suffering because he makes jokes of it. SY doesn't allow himself to dwell on the memories of his loving family and the world he was taken from. SY is showing signs of depression when he pushed LBH into the abyss but in SY's mind he is saying he is not depressed. SY cried when LBH snapped at him in the Holy Mausoleum but his mind played it off as being tears of pain because of his leg. SY said that LBH began to like him because of a single smile but LBH actually only forgave him when he risked his life to save LBH and asked nothing in return. LBH and SY first time in Mai Gu Ridge is so painful and he is going through it alone because LBH is in Xinmo's control and out of his mind but SY still plans to make a joke about it to binghe until SY coughed up blood and did his best to comfort Binghe when the other regrets his actions.

SY keeps saying that he's just doing things to save his life but his actions shows more than that. He became genuine friends with the Peak Lords. He went to CQM when he heard that LBH was attacking. Also he initially saved LQG's life so he can use him to fight LBH and SY can escape in the future, but he compromised his disguise and steps in when LBH and LQG was actually fighting in CQM to stop them. Instead of using the characters as his shield to escape LBH, he uses himself as a shield so others can be saved from LBH even though his greatest fear is being tortured by LBH.

The take that LBH is infatuated/in love with SJ and SQQ body only and will not love SY as he is if there is a reveal is the most weird take I find and undervalues MXTX writing. LBH is not infatuated with SJ and his body. LBH as a child sees him as a teacher but is not in love with him unlike with SY. Like most case of child abuse, LBH is a kid who thinks he has nowhere else to go to and so stays with his family despite being abused. We like to joke that LBH is a shizun fucker but he only became a shizun fucker because he experienced SY's love. Throughout the story, it shows LBH is not in love with just the body. He might think SJ is pretty but he is not in love. This is the same as bingge liking all pretty women but then discarding them to the harem afterwards to be forgotten.

LBH is in love with SY. The love and care he felt is from SY. His kind shizun is SY. The body is just a way for LBH to connect with SY. Afterwards, even without a body, it is SY that he loves. Again, all the peak lords noticed he is not acting as SJ. The desciples has also changed so it can be said that they noticed this change too. This is SY!SQQ that they came to love. The plant body is also proof that SY is loved. LBH preserved SQQ body for years hoping that his shizun will come back. When he pieced together that the plant body (that looks like SY real face and his real voice) is his shizun, he made sure to capture SY first before going after SQQ body at CQM. He even said he went to CQM to “stall you out,” indirectly talking to SY. This also shows how scary binghe is because he knows that SY has arrived and is hiding. Once he got SY, that's the time he went for SQQ body and his reason was that if SY ever tried to escape to the other body (LBH is so smart because this actually happens) then LBH will be lost again. LBH talks about the bodies as if they are only containers for SY's soul.

Luo Binghe spoke first. “Are the meridians of that body working well?”

“That’s good. I preserved the other body for a few days, but it still withered in the end. That doesn’t bode well if anything goes wrong with this one.”

Basically he wants both bodies to ensure that SY is trapped with him no matter what body he tries to use because he doesn't believe SY will not leave him again (He mockingly tells him "Ive believed shizun plenty of times" when SY tells him he wont run away). Again, the body is just a way for LBH to connect with his shizun that he loves and that shizun is SY. When ZZL summons SY soul to SQQ body, LBH also tried his best to save the plant body until it withered.

There is also the factor that LBH and SY are soulmates and this extends to LBG. LBG is not in love with SJ. He is filled with hate and enacted vengeance for being abused since he was a child and then thrown to hell. LBG was even smiling sinisterly when SJ was so broken that YQY died. There is no infatuation or love there. LBG doesn't think anything of SQQ at first until he dived in and saw SY!SQQ memories starting from the skinner demon until the Mai Gu Ridge in one night and all that SY did for his Binghe. It might just be one night, but the events are what happened for years that SY had a headache when he woke up. Afterwards is the only time when LBG thought of SQQ as pretty. Basically LBG is not in love with SJ but rather fell for this other SQQ because of SY and how SY!SQQ loved his Binghe. The type of love that not even his wives can give him. I can explain this but I only want to focus on SY now. If there is a SY reveal, it will be the same, the question will be the same "why did this person get a kind shizun while I got the rotten one", the only difference is there will be no disgust in LBG's side and LBG will probably make an effort and try his best to take SY back to his world since he has no animosity towards SY and because he knows there is no SY in his world.

Also, I'm pretty sure LBH already knows or he has an idea just no way to prove it. He's already giving hints about things that SQQ should not even know. Also look at this line:

"Every time Luo Binghe caught Shen Qingqiu before, he had stared at him like he was trying to stare through him"

Bingge will follow soon after because the sun and dew mushroom body was used by one of his enemies so he knows how that works and that the mushroom body will look like the face of whoever's soul is using it. Looking into SY!SQQ memories and seeing that his face changed when he transferred to the mushroom body is a big clue for LBG to digest and with how smart he is, he WILL know the truth.

Bingmei will love SY if there is a reveal. He will love him even more if that is even possible. LBH: "Shizun actually never hated this disciple and never wanted to push him in the abyss?" LBH: "Shizun loved this disciple before coming to this world?" He will gloat that he won before the battle even begun. Then chug vinegar when he finds out it is bingge who is loved first. There is no reveal because LBH will be more insufferable and so MXTX saved SY from such fate. LQG will not go "You mean it is not SJ who saved me? You are a Traitor!" LQG despite not liking SQQ mellowed out when SY!SQQ saved him. It will make no difference if he finds out it was SY who saved him, has been with him and has saved CQM. The only sad part will be YQY but that is about SJ's side and again for this I will focus on SY.

I have to say SQQ role or body is not important. He can be Ming Fan, NYY, a random disciple, another peak lord, and do all the things he has done and perhaps more effectively without the system hindering him to act as a villain and it will be the same as SVSSS. Save LQG in the caves-> LQG is now his friend. Continue to be a fanatic of LBH and believing in his skills and also trying to save him from abuse-> LBH finds a friend who truly cares and after some time falls in love. There will be somethings that will be different like NYY. Because NYY under SJ is an airhead that gets herself into trouble that bingge needs to save time and time again, compared to NYY that blossomed under SY!SQQ guidance with a strong mind, attitude and love and respect for SQQ that shocked even bingge.

I've read that the disciples are a downgrade under SY because SQH called the disciples students with ADHD. SY is actually a good Shizun. NYY is proof of this. Ming fan is proof of this. SQH the author literally states that the disciples under SJ back then were posers with face full of bitterness and great resentment compared to the disciples that literally flock towards SY!SQQ in excitement whenever he returns to the peak. SQH called them ADHD students because they are lively! The disciples sit around grouped together talking to each other as friends and no one is left out. And there is nothing wrong about ADHD students either, they are wonderful if you just give enough time and patience to understand how their minds work and what best way you can get their attention to learn. The fact that the disciples are happier and better versions than that of PIDW is already proof that SY did make a huge effort and is a good shizun to his students.

In the end, SY played with the cards he is given and although the cards are not good, he still did his best. System tells him "do this or die, but if you also do this thing that I said you get to become a human stick and suffer for years! Ehe (^-^)" and SY instead tells the system to Fk off and saves himself, LBH, and in extent, the women from joining in LBH's harem, and the world from turning into PIDW which is seriously a bad end for everyone even the protagonist. SY saw people as fictional characters at the start because the system is treating the world (and him) as a game. He gets points for doing this, gets deducted points for doing that. But in the end he learns and accepts that everyone is real and that even though the book already closed in PIDW, the story continues for everyone in their world. From a horror story that is PIDW, it is now a hopeful story that is SVSSS.

So yeah. Imagine knowing that Shrek must go to the castle to save Fiona to marry her in the future but Shrek falls for your transmigrated number one shrek fanboy soul in Lord Farquaad's body instead. All this time you are acting kind and caring for Shrek because Shrek is love Shrek is life and also to save your ass. You are blindsided. While acting as his a wingman for your OTP Shriona, Shrek was actually making a move on you. "No way Shrek is gay and into midgets? And loves to play as house wife?! TF?!" But in the end you accept that your feelings has also changed and that the quote Shrek is love Shrek is life is literal not metaphorical. Fans speculating that Lord Farquaad is the first human to actually show Shrek respect by making him one of his knights (because he wants him to go to a dragon guarding castle where countless knights died) so Shrek has always been infatuated with Lord Farquaad and the moment you reveal that you are not a midget, Shrek will have a meltdown and won't care about you anymore. You save the mama bear because you know she dead in the movie but now she acts as your savior from the big bad ogre who they think has grown obsessive of you and the bear's whole family is also indebted to you. The baby bear ships Shrequaad so hard he wrote a fanfic that became popular throughout the lands. Fiona learns she needs no man, defeats and rides the dragon and is now dubbed as "Mother of Dragons" while you scream in your head "Director WTF?! Plagiarism?! Games of thrones?!" You found out Puss n boots is actually the author transmigrated, he is scared of Death because death will kill him someday but because of some changed events Death follows him because he loves him. It's far from the original plot but everyone is happy.

.

[plounce]

people can get really mad if you make a post about how you think a character, who has no canonical queer identity, is gay. and they will accuse you of being biphobic (the character is not canonically bisexual) because the character has had past m/f relationships in canon and therefore they conclude that the character, if they are queer, should be bi. which is a totally fine thing to headcanon. i am not saying you can't draw that conclusion and in fact i have drawn that conclusion for many characters, because i love to have fun. however people can get really mad if you say (on a post on your blog) "i like the idea that this character's past m/f relationships are a product of compulsory heterosexuality as a part of my headcanon that this character is gay, and this all gels with larger my personal interpretation of the character". and gay (homosexual) people do in fact often have histories of being in straight relationships for various personal reasons! i'm gay and i have my own personal history before i realized i was gay! it is a totally normal and not uncommon thing. gayness is not a threat to bisexuality, much like how bisexuality is not a threat to gayness.

i think that people can often become very defensive of their own headcanons for characters they like especially when it parallels their own personal identities. but also it truly is not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things if a post crosses into your field of vision and op has a trivial headcanon that you don't agree with. headcanons, by nature of being headcanons, can often peacefully coexist. because it is just blorbos. you need to stop accusing random strangers of crazy shit on their own posts. you need to. perhaps. scroll past. and make your own post.

[weirdo09]

hobie brown

i’d just like to say, i hope y’all never meet a black boy nor man because y’all’s behavior over one black teenager is honestly disturbing.

like the racist headcanons, the not taking accountability for your disturbing fics about him because “HIS AGE ISNT MENTIONED!!” like don’t act dumb, you know them people said that he’s a slight older boy than miles which would be like 1-2 years, making him 16-17. it’s also just the “i want his dick inside of me” “i want to have his kids” and the sex hcs where it’s like “he’ll fuck you hard and not give you aftercare, just leaves you to take care of yourself.”

i’m not really bothered by the smut fics and hcs cause he is attractive and i will read them every once in awhile but y’all be taking it to the extremes, calling him toxic, making him out like some abusive boyfriend, he’s only sweet when he wants you to have sex with him, he only wants you for sex, he’s a full person but only cool because he’s in a band and has sex with you, he lets his band mates fuck you without your consent, he rapes you for whatever reason (y’all’s writings not mine), he doesn’t care about stopping to see if you’re okay or if you need a break.

basically what i’m seeing is that he’s only good for sex and some of the good fics about him only portray certain parts of him. like i’m all for writing about your favorite characters n what not but if you’re basically gonna treat his character like you’re personal boytoy and not see him as anything else, it’s really harmful. especially with y’all not tagging your fics correctly and the smut fics i previously mention get seen by a minor who would want to read smut of him but not that bullcrap.

y’all literally write him being abusive to his partner, not just physically but call it “teasing”. i’m sorry but if my partner said something about breaking up with me or that i’m not good enough, would i think that that’s just “teasing”? like honestly, if you treat all your ‘blorbos’ like this then i feel sorry for you because hobie’s an amazing character that isn’t just there for you to dream about fucking and getting pregnant by him.

he’s there to show you how corruption and fascism impacting your way of life can lead to you wanting to rebel and become an anarchist to that society. he’s there to teach you that you can make your rules, that you’re more than what one person tells you, you tell yourself what you wanna be. he’s a symbol for black people who don’t wanna follow the rules of a white supremacist, fascist society, for the people who’ve ever just been like “fuck the government, i’m my own person.”

i really feel like y’all take him for granted and he is a character for a children’s type of media so the “well minors shouldn’t be looking for his smut!!” doesn’t work here. honestly, do y’all ever care about characters that aren’t perceived as “fuckable” or “attractive” by your standards? it just really pisses me off because y’all act like that’s all he’s there for, your yearning for BBC has really dimmed your perception of this character. HES A IMPORTANT CHARACTER FOR YALL TO ROLE MODEL CAUSE ITS OBVIOUS YALL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MOVIE’S CHILD AUDIENCE BUT YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM SO

if you care about hobie, please remember that there’s more to him than you wanting him to fuck you and he would hate the things that you’ve done to him because you have bigger issues in the world than “he would fuck you with his big cock.” LIKE WAKE THE FUCK UP WE COULD BE MAKING ANALYSIS OF HIS CHARACTER BUT INSTEAD YOU THINK THAT HES JUST THERE TO BE EYE CANDY LIKE OMGGGG

just please for the sack of everyone, learn more about his character and stop tryna be antiblack and sex crazed over him. if you love hobie, just stop being the way that you are because it’s honestly disgusting to have to see grown adults wanting a canon minor to fuck them. you ain’t slick, the fact that i even have to write this is disgusting. do better, fandom is more than saying that you would fuck a character, care more about the teenagers on this site that are in the fandom with you as well. stop being selfish and start caring about the other people in the fandom.

[foibles-fables]

Hey foibs, love your work!!! Do you have any tips for writing smut? I have a work that seems intent on having it in there (these characters canNot keep things rated pg-13) and I just don’t want it to be awkward???

HI GOD!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 thank you and you are TOO SWEET and I miss you immensely!!!

I totally get what you mean re: your characters not wanting to keep it in their pants. I also understand the fear of awkwardness! If sex itself can be an awkward act, writing about it without a backing of practice at writing it can be even more so.

I've been writing smut for a long, long time and I've grown to really enjoy it as a natural means of character exploration. I'm glad to give a little advice.

First, I'd say to think about why your blorbos wanna bone so much. What are they (and you) hoping to express or explore or uncover with the intimate moment? Just like with any scene that's not smut, once you find your core Reason, it becomes a little less awkward or difficult to build the rest around it.

Then assess your own comfort level regarding the prose. Do you think focusing more on internality and less on physicality would help you or your prose feel less uncomfortable to write? Or the opposite? How about your POV character--which approach works better for them? Don't be afraid to make a sex scene short or vague. Sometimes a few lines of esotetric description can hold all the impact you need, if length is an issue for you (lmao) or if you're having trouble digging into or picturing the act yourself. Readers will fill in any gaps with images they enjoy!

Finally--like I said earlier--sex can be awkward. And it's completely appropriate to lean into that awkwardness if it works for your characters and your central theme. I honestly tend to find that the imperfect moments are what really work well in exploring characters' reactions and thoughts.

I hope this helps!!!! May your blorbos be fruitful!

[bougiebutchbinch]

This is your daily reminder that anyone can criticise your favourite show. And disabled people, queer people, mentally ill people, and people from any other minority group are always allowed to criticise representation within your favourite show.

Obviously, a few people from the same minority group will disagree with this criticism. Everyone's gonna have a different opinion - that's great.

But that does not in any way invalidate the original criticism, especially when it's coming from so many people with visible mobility disabilities, survivors of suicide and abuse, and queer people.

That doesn't mean critics think the show is evil and should be destroyed forever. It doesn't mean they think that the show isn't good representation for you, with your specific intersection of representation needs, or that you can't enjoy it - or that you are a bad person for enjoying it.

Critics are allowed to stop supporting the show for future seasons because they dislike the representation, or the writing, or for any other reason. If you are sending anons over something so minimal as someone no longer wanting another season of your favourite show, then, frankly, I suspect you are a literal child. But also, you have a weird cultish relationship with this fandom and should probably step back.

Hell, I'm gonna try and step back, for the sake of my own mental health. I always wind up getting at least one weird anon per fandom, as I am Loud And AnnoyingTM - to the point where I see it as a bit of a badge of pride. Means I'm part of the fandom now, if I'm in deep enough - and noisy enough - to get nonsense. That doesn't particularly bother me.

But I cannot deal with the constant frustration of seeing fellow fans not understanding the very basic concept of 'a stranger on the internet can love this show, but still be disappointed in it and criticise it, and that is not an attack on me, personally'.

I encourage you to love the show! I love that you love it! I still somewhat love it, and I certainly love to criticise it! Criticism is just another form of interaction with a piece of media, and one that is integral to any fandom! It's not a threat to you or your appreciation of the show!

What becomes problematic is when you mock criticism, especially when it's coming from a whole bunch of marginalised voices.

Why are you being so aggressive about decrying everyone who complains as 'overemotional' and 'hysterical'? Why are you trying so hard to minimise and misinterpret the opinions of visibly physically disabled people who have struggled a lot with their disability, when invisible disability rep and casual positive disability rep are no less important but entirely different sorts of representation?

If you disagree, maybe just have some empathy and let marginalised people speak? Why are you so determined to die on the hill of defending a TV show from any and all criticism?

Which is all to say:

Your fandom is not exempt from criticism. Yes, you are still allowed to love your blorbos and your show. This is pretty fucking basic Fandom 101.

[pastelcheckereddreams]

Four Seasons Manor WIP update

What's this?! A drafting update?! Yes! Only a year after the first one 😂

I admit I did fall down a massive rabbit hole with the set sleuthing, but I felt I just couldn't move on without solving the mystery of the two sets' layouts. Links to that three-part saga here:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

With that mystery solved and the layout plans all set, I can finally bring you some previews for my drafting project as a whole!

Recognise anything? 👀

I'm aware that no one likes reading walls of text (I say while producing nothing but lengthy text posts like it's its own art form). So, for more info on how this draft will take shape as a final piece, follow the cut below.

Please also considering supporting me by reblogging my art and research posts, donating to my kofi, or buying one of my prints 🙏✨

Further artist links can be found in my pinned post (project list).

project list | kofi | prints

So, if you're one of the crazy people who actually read through the previous set sleuthing in its entirety, first of all I love you. Second of all, you will be aware of the artistic dilemma I posited at the end of the layout updates:

How can I merge these two very different sets together? Should I merge them together? Do I present an architecture draft that is simply reportage - showing both sets, and summarizing their different uses in the show, or do I draft the Four Seasons Manor I see emerging in the crossover of these two sets - the one I can feel starting to take shape in my brain?

I have decided to do both! 😃🤡

This piece will follow the draftsman style of my previous set design projects, and include buildings from both sets - but only as much as we are presented with on-screen, rather than the wider film set.

This is because, at its heart, my drafts are a way to better understand the locations that are presented to us by the show - a further way to enrich the scenes by understanding the space they are set within, and as an exploration of any cultural cues that I for one, as a Westerner, may not spot a lot of the time.

What kept bugging me, though, was that my fantasy world-building brain was not satisfied - I could not envision a whole, cohesive location for Four Seasons Manor because I kept noticing the switch from one set to the next. (Location spotting in cdramas has now become somewhat of a party trick for me 😂 The fourth wall has been broken.)

Now, I have not written fic in a long time, as the posting dates in my hanwenzhou tag can attest to, but we all know the persistence of the blorbo brainrot. I wanted to be able to imagine a place for all my happy wenzhou family, rebuilt Siji aus!!

So, going forward, I will be producing some more art that marries the two sets together and I can present as my interpretation of a full, rebuilt Four Seasons Manor in bloom - drawing on much of the set designs I have seen through my research, and my own personal headcanons.

I'm not sure how I want to do this yet, but I may start out using Siji to practice my marker art skills. So expect it to look a little like these pieces from my previous projects:

And, of course, the birdseye view of the Siji set at the beginning of this post.

I'm excited to begin!

That said, once the Four Seasons Manor draft is done, I also want to return to my CQL project and continue drafting the major sects. I better get moving 😂

Thank you for your support and encouragement, as always 💛

project list | kofi | prints