#all about githyanki and dance

[des-no9]

Des! DES!!! Shaking you most rabidly especially as I just got to see Vanquish on the Githmap! This is a question I've had in mind for a while but didn't want to ask you since I KNOW it can be super hard task to describe and I wasn't sure you had thought about it much : What do you imagine Githyanki dances across history and artistic movements to be like? What limbs do you think they focus on? Is it quick rounds but impressive performance or endurance based? What kind of individual and collective formations would there be? Who dances with who if relevant? What peoples on Earth do you draw inspiration from in your head?

I know I know many questions all at once, apologies, but exploring fictional dances makes me very excited oops.

Omg okay NO I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED this has for some reason been on my mind a lot. It stemmed from thinking about Vanquish asking Voss about githyanki dance culture and asking him to show her some. And Voss being so old, he's known what they've had from the beginning, those lost now, some that only live on in him maybe, and he's learned so many through his lifetime.

Anyway.

Okay. I'll kind of start from the beginning with thoughts in their slavery under the ghaik at maybe the possibility of dance, movement and community there.

Githyanki, and dance

note: this is very long!!!! enjoy x

Githyanki, then

I think a lot about what possibility of their community they could have had, what it could have been during then beneath the ghaik. I like to HC that it was probably quite different depending on what colony you were in, what purpose you served, how big it was etc. A larger colony probably had a little more freedom in 'community'. A smaller community is much easier to govern stricter from above. Tighter leashes.

But still, colonies where the githyanki (I'll use that term for them even if they weren't that during that period) were used for bodyguards and bred to fight, yes the ghaik would command them to do as such, but training them to understand fighting separate from commands, to stop bodies atrophying and for their bodies to understand the movements for innate reactions, the githyanki would have trained together.

Potentially from this in any down time they had, or even during their training, they could have developed some sort of dance from their fighting techniques. A way for them to detach from what they know they have to do, to something more pleasurable. For them, and them alone.

Now I'm just speculating at the amount of control the ghaik had over them in their slavery and thralldom. I'm sure there were many varying degrees of control in many situations. Many a small constant to know you are leashed. And then full control for shorter periods when necessary.

And I know there are people that understand when under abuse or slavery after so long, and being giving freedoms, sometimes you cannot, or won't leave.

Anyway, from this period what I'm trying to visualise is that maybe they constructred dance, a dance, various dances, from their training during fighting.

Something that could be easily hidden. Something that was only theirs. Something that could be practiced on 'downtime' and easily covered up as sparring, but when alone and the wrong eyes looked away, the right eyes looking on, it was art and beauty and love and laughter.

With dances like this, I think a lot clearly about the motions and movement of capoeira.

Githyanki, free

Looking at the other side, the other colonies that maybe unlike the martial ones, or the larger ones (I HC Voss was from a martial one, but a smaller, strict, and quite horrific one. #1 blorbo must suffer) and I think sometimes about the fact that maybe a lot of newly annointed githyanki weren't used to touch.

Touch in a gentle way, affectionate way. A mutual way. A wanted way. Maybe many had never touched another body other than their own, or an enemies. Maybe they'd never seen their reflection but in the mud stained blood stained puddle they'd been ordered in their head to run over can't stop can't stop-

I like thinking a lot about in the early days of githyanki for maybe a large section of them was discovering their own bodies. The bodies of their kin. What it really felt like to touch someone and laugh and feel something other than rage and fear and pain. Joy and life and love.

Those from the larger martial colonies who had dance, maybe started to offer a way to help them explore this through their dance. And so from this, new githyanki dance(s) evolved.

Exploration. Intimacy. Curiosity. Joy. Intensity.

I see a lot of these dances maybe initially being led by the more knowledgable partner. Letting the more inexperienced and curious one feel the other's body through the moves of dance. Slow, often. Lots of continual body contact. Barely any clothing. Lots of movement of limbs to understand their movement in dance and outside of 'normal' functions. See what your body can do! Let me show you! I visualise a lot of the movements and motion here with ballet. Especially modern ballet. Ballet dancing movement for githyanki just fits for me.

I think there would be so much reconnection for the githyanki at this period of time with their bodies. I have HCs that there could/would be some physicaly variation in the githyanki at this period too, depending on which colony they came from. So dances like these would be wonderful for different looking githyanki physically to explore one another's bodies and differences and connect, that even if we look different, you bled to kill, I to breed, we are kin.

Those who would be githzerai

Another area I was thinking about in regard to this was those who started to fall in with Zerthimon. Those who followed his teachings, and eventually became the githzerai. I even think here about Orpheus and his honour guard because in essence they fight as monks. (and then I HC Orpheus as Zerth and Gith's son and a whole thing anyway lmao).

Originally, those in the martial colonies I think would have really loved the capoeira style of dance and developed that even further within their fighting and dancing style. Some may say when watching a graceful monk fight it is between dance and violence. When watching some of the more power punch heavy ones fight though, that's pure strength that you can feel rattle your teeth.

I don't think as much about githzerai as I do githyanki (a failing on my part I know lmao) but I think maybe one of their styles of dance is quite similar to the Indian classical dance of Kathak. I just like thinking about it a lot as a form of storytelling and maybe this is a way the githzerai enjoy telling stories in a place where there is more of a family presence and also the passage of time, unlike the Astral Sea. Also there is a lot of upper body and arm movement in Kathak and monks and githzerai = punchy lads.

I also think a lot about githzerai having a lot dances that you can do solo, in contrast to the githyanki who have a lot more dances you do with someone, or even more than one person. That physical connection with someone else feels to me like a source of such integral just, being for githyanki. Whereas githzerai maybe it's a little more different.

Githyanki, now

I think the initial dance of exploration of body has survived in the githyanki to now, in that it has evolved in different ways throughout the years. This intense intimacy of a cotninual body contact dance. Not once letting go of each other as we dance together. Our bodies as one, experience teaching inexperience. Let me bleed into you and give you what I know.

Maybe as the githyanki grew more detached from community, family, love - as Vlaakith I took power and the further Vlaakiths cemented their power and ideologies to now as we see the githyanki of today, the dances changed. Grew rougher. Maybe with more violence.

I think maybe even some took something sacred like this and took it into their raiding culture and turned it brutal.

For example, capturing an istik you are unfamiliar with, and exploring their new body without consent with this dance in-front of all your githyanki friends at the raid. What is the istik going to do? But it feels very raiding culture githyanki thing to do. Especially if you do not know or understand the origins of the dance in a way that someone like Voss would understand it. Maybe the origins of it is lost, hidden, forbidden, warped. For something like that is SO long in terms of history. Far over a thousand years. Just think about something over a thousand years in our history. Accuracy? Forget it.

Other types of dances for githyanki that exist now I think would be: For solo, I think they'd do something like fancy sword dancing? I remember seeing a video of a guy doing this insanely beautiful sensual dance with his sword and I thought.......githyanki lol. Like the githyanki fighters treat their silver swords like an extension of their own bodies. I really think they'd have a dance that would show that. All grace and fluidity and lots of skin showing for the danger.

Also if they're a gish maybe they would fire dance, or use magic in some way. I just think githyanki love to show off lol. And skirt with danger a lot. Also fire is associated a lot with their dragons. They're comfortable with it.

Foreplay. Now, I think a lot about githyanki sex (clearly from 2 secs on my blog). And a lot of the young, wild raiders are in and out (lmao) or rough and wild and don't give a fuck. Trophy istiks. Take and you're mine. Blood and fuck. Maybe some older ones too. Especially with modern githyanki with the way they have all been twisted and turned into a cultish society by Vlaakith(s) and their creche system and the void of family and nurturing community and the inability to spell love.

But, the githyanki aren't a monolith. They are spread wide and far and pockets of creches in different planes and some grow at different paces and anomolies in ages (Voss lol) and different hearts and heads and then Orpheus is back and a rebellion has been slow brewing as long as Orpheus has been in chains and and--

what I'm trying to say is that there are probably so many different styles and dances that vary by creche and region and even Tu'narath style for X dance compared to Githmir style or Creche T'lak style and I could go on.

And then there are githyanki that love foreplay. That agonising, but beautiful build up to when there is nothing in these planes but my skin your skin the taste of your blood and mine.

Dance is foreplay.

I thnk a variation of the 'explore and understand your body' has DEFINITELY survived and turned into this. And maybe the leader/more dominant urges their partner to dance and touch and move where on their body they like to be touched, want to be touched, never breaking contact, but not touching their partner with hands until sex. Just body to body, hands free. Maybe brushing together as they move. But no hands to body. Just body, to body. Show me how you move. Let your body move in ways you didn't know. See corners of mine you didn't.

The above is what I was thinking about a lot with Voss and Vanquish and what Voss teaches her. This and the original dance he learned as a newly annointed githyanki. Voss was one of the ones who needed to learn his, and others bodies, and this dance means a lot to him, and he's kept the original close and deep in his heart and sharing the original with Vanquish is a Real Moment for him. Exposing and probably another way to say "I'm letting you in, istik no more".

Side note, githyanki with partners who aren't githyanki I think also like using the body exploring dance a lot as a bonding experience. But I HC githyanki just innately have much less hangups about their bodies than istik do, so it might take a little bit of build up or stepping stones to get the full githyanki dance experience. But when they do.... :3

Okay I think I have rambled A LOT about githyanki dancing and I think that covers some of the ideas I had LOL. I hoped you and anyone else who read this enjoyed. It was an absolute delight to write. As it always is to write any githyanki HC and worldbuilding.

-Des x

[gale-dekarios]

okay, no shade, but youre missing out on SO much good characters moments if your girlbossify the bg3 women too much. i get it, they're big, strong, badass, but they are, like all bg3 companions, incredibly cringe in their own ways that i think we could stand to appreciate more.

lae'zel throws the worlds biggest meltdown anytime you do anything not directly related to the githyanki creche, only to almost get her shit immediately rocked. lae'zel on modern day stan twitter would be a shitshow and you cant convince me otherwise. and thats before we even mention her fighting you in act two and then immediately crying about it. babygirl its okay, we were only playing. AND TRYING TO KISS HER IN PUBLIC?? she acts big and bad in act 1, fighting rough with you the entire time, but as soon as you ask her for a little kiss? immediate embarrassment. she could absolutely wreck my shit, but shes still a meow meow.

shadowheart is just fantasy catholic. she gets mad if you pick up a statue of selûne bc shes just that catholic. dyes her hair white in a desperate emo crisis of faith moment. recites smut in public. makes jokes that land incredibly flat. is acting way cooler and more chill than she actually is to hide the fact that shes scared. SHE CHOSE THE NAME SHADOWHEART. need i say more?

karlach may be cringe but she is free, i will give her this. she gets the zoomies. she almost blows up a firework shop with her in it because shes so excited. she has a teddy bear called clive. she hasnt read a book since secondary school. she does a little dancy dance if you leave her alone for too long. her inner monologue is just about how horny she is for most people. bisexual failgirl. i love her.

and then the biggest cringefail of them all, minthara. the fact that she absolutely cannot see that every companion at camp actually does grow to really like, love, and respect her bc shes expecting treachery (bc thats what SHE would have done) is as sad as it is just a liiiiittle bit funny. darling. my wife. people like and care about you. not to mention the fact that shes been poisoning you the entire time shes been travelling with you???? cant communicate for the life of her. regularly threatens to kill you but then gets mad if you die. emotionally stunted loserbabe. we will have a july wedding........

what im SAYING isnt that the girls ARENT badass and compotent and cool, what im SAYING is that the lads shouldnt have a monopoly on complexity and depth. you get me?

[devnmon]

wine & dine.

summary: astarion's ego still burns hot after the most recent battle, and whilst you celebrate he becomes convinced he can make you come in a room full of people without any of them noticing.

warnings: a lil exhibitionism, fingering, star knows what to do with his hands, dirty talk, also reader is wearing a dress just for easy access & is called 'my girl' once xo

a/n: happy october, here's another vampire fic <3

wc: 1.5k

Sometime between when your adventure began, and what they have put you up against, you’d currently found yourself having dinner inside a castle. It was local tradition to celebrate winning the battle with a meal and song. Like always, next to you was the ever so dashing Astarion, sipping from a his own goblet of wine.

The two of you had been on the road for days, accompanied by the rest of your party— but Astarion stood by your side with unending loyalty. He lingered in a soft nudge of your arm whilst in a crowd, and in the words of dedication he’s sworn to you every night.

Astarion had the ability to hear when your heart sped up or skipped a beat— especially when he’d placed his hand on your thigh about ten seconds ago. His touch was a stark difference to the heat dancing under your skin.

His palm rested on your thigh, nothing more. Your eyes met his for a second's glance and caught the cheekiest flash of mischief in his eye. Before you could notice the glint of his fangs peeking out, your attention turned back to the room in front of you.

"Gods, you're beautiful." he purred, leaning over with the chalice still in hand.

A vampire of all creatures feigning innocence in any context was not seen very often. But you knew what Astarion was doing, continuing to play along with his little act and observing the others celebrating.

The stone corridor was lively with music and dancing, many of the halflings and gnomes swinging on one another while singing together. Others sat on one of the many tables, drinking and eating their fill for the night. You could easily spot Shadowheart being talked to by a certain Githyanki over their meal, deep in conversation.

Astarion’s skill of his rogue handiwork did not only pertain to picking pockets and unlocking chests. If only you would’ve felt his cool palm slide further up your leg, perhaps the second cup of wine you’d consumed had something to do with that.

Your inner thigh always proved to be more sensitive, and Astarion knew that; he knew every lucky spot you loved the most. It proved to be one of his favorite things when you so you blessed his ears with your pretty sounds.

"Astarion..." you slurred, shooting him a knowing look.

"Yes, love? Is your leg cramping?" He lifts the goblet before him for a sip of wine before sliding up further and tightening his grip, "Oh, maybe more than just simply that..."

Your eyes shifted around the room, catching the many pairs of eyes occupying the chamber. Any one of them could easily spot the two of them doing this— and the idea of it made you all warm inside.

Starkly contrasting the warmth of the room, Astarion's skin to skin contact drowned out everything else. The band of bards playing a jaunty tune, the laughs and clinks of goblets and conversations all flying past your ears as if in a dome where only you and Astarion existed.

The pale elf's hand made its way under the fabric of your skirt, already feeling how heated you were for him before he'd touched you right where he knew to.

"People could see..." you mentioned, attempting to hide your blush with a rather large gulp of the mead in your cup. Though everything you'd drank so far had already loosened you up, of course it was like Astarion to push you over the edge with his touches.

"By the chaos of it all, they won't even notice, my dear. That is, if you don't give them a reason to." His full lips curl into a smirk before swallowing another sip of wine.

Your eyes trail over to him beside you, taking note of his red eyes burning with lust and the skin of his neck you'd caressed many times before.

It's evident by the sound you make exhaling that proves you want him all the same. There's no denying the urge to be whisked away to a corridor and letting him have his way with you. But being with Astarion has taught you many things, and testing something new was always a new adventure with him.

That's all the signal he needs to confirm he wasn't pushing a boundary of yours by doing this. The vampire's hand sneaks between your legs, cupping your heat exactly the way he knows you like. The pad of his middle finger is pressed lightly against your garments, soaking the cloth with arousal.

Your warmth leaks onto his fingers, immediately sending one of them swiping through the mess you'd made.

"That turned on from just my touch? Oh, now there's my girl."

The hand that's not wrapped around your glass grips at the cloth napkin, dropping it on your lap for any discretion you could still hold. Palms sweating, cheeks plastered with a flushed state that Astarion knows so well. You were melting in his presence and knew he’d gotten exactly what he wanted.

"You know, you're a three course meal in that dress. Showing what you've got off— gods, the amount of eyes on you earlier. I had half the decency to not smudge that pretty makeup of yours before we even arrived."

He runs the tip of his tongue over the edge of his fangs, immediately salivating at his memory of the first time he tasted you. Astarion's never felt such ecstasy in something he wasn't doing to himself, it brought him to new heights for the first time in his life.

You didn't dare speak… not wanting an inappropriate sound leave you and draw people's attention towards you. Astarion slips a second finger between your folds, and swallowing the sound threatening to escape your lips seemed easier in your head. Your entire body aches for him to please you the way he always knows how.

You truly can't control the way your body turns for him- it's fucking magic the way he can unravel you entirely without doing much.

Two of Astarion's digits enter you without resistance, and if instinct, you clench around him from the sensation. At first he doesn't move, only waiting to spot if anyone's noticed. That first movement of his has you gripping the table while attempting to poise yourself. It's difficult on its own, for your enamored mind body and soul only grows when you’re surrounded by his scent, his presence, his laugh.

His digits thrust into you, hitting just the right spot that a whimper expels itself from your chest. Your knuckles've just about turned white from how hard you're gripping the handkerchief in your lap.

"Don't worry, I'll make it quick for you. Wouldn't want our hosts to think you're a filthy slut who likes such a thing, now would we? Oh wait..." Astarion chuckles to himself, the cocky bastard. Though you would never admit it to anyone except him how much you never wished for his touches to stop. He yearned for an eternity of pleasing you if it made him feel as good as it did.

He withdrew his fingers from inside you almost all the way, before squishing them back into your warm, wet heat. Breath hitching, you wished to rut against his palm sickeningly before his fingers found themselves pressing that spot again.

"Astarion... please," you begged.

"Don't draw attention, darling. That's the fun part." His continuous movements were close to sending you over the edge, and the purr in his voice didn't help matters. Keeping yourself contained when Astarion had his hands on you was much easier when you didn't have the threat of people seeing what mischievous act the two of you were up to.

Every movement threatened to release all the groans and moans Astarion deserved to hear, biting down on your lip to suppress it. You grabbed the cup of wine in front of you and took a drink, almost choking when the fingers inside you curled again. Some of it dribbled down your chin, leaving Astarion to pick up his napkin and dab your lips with it.

"Tsk, so consumed by desire you can't even act normal. Figures." His teasing and fingering had all but kept you on the edge of your orgasm for minutes on end.

Your arm grabs his wrist, making eye contact with his rubies and silently begging for him to indulge you.

"You want to come? Be my guest, darling. I want repayment in full later on, in private."

Astarion's fingers began thrusting inside of you, curling to hit that sweet spot before you were gushing around him and leaning into his shoulder to hide your cries. With your orgasm washing over you, he removes his fingers, letting them linger over your clit for just a moment before removing them from your undergarments fully.

As if the whole thing wasn't enough, Astarion just had to lick his fingers right in front of your eyes. It was the most erotic thing you've ever seen, especially since you were all over his fingers.

"Hmm, delectable as always. Tasting you has always been one of my guilty pleasures. But for now we eat, drink and be merry. There's a celebration about, my love." Astarion stated before taking a swig of his wine.

Merry you were, not just from the afterglow, as you leaned in to his chest and watched the party ride out its chaos.

[dumbofass-homo]

I've been thinking about how Halsin is always the caretaker.

He takes care of nature, but that's obvious. He takes care of a bunch of orphaned kids in the endgame. He took care of the grove, healed people, took in refugees. He cares about Tav (even if he is not Tav's partner) and the rest of the weirdos in the party. He cares.

It's so easy to forget that he is also a person that needs caring for. He is large and always has his emotions under control, so people tend to brush off his needs, sometimes subconsciously. And he is used to it, living for as long as he has.

It even shows in the fanart and fanfics - he is almost always the one to offer support and encouragement, emotional or otherwise. In the smutty works, he is almost exclusively the top, caring for his partners'pleasure.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this or what I'm trying to say, but I think he would just melt if his partners and/or companions would slowly start taking things off his shoulders.

The children want bedtime stories? Astarion will do you one better. He will act out the heroic victory over a certain vampire with so much flare he will be the talk of the settlement for days to come. He most certainly didn't do that to get the kids off Halsin's bear back and most definitely doesn't enjoy his new fans.

Lae'zel isn't affectionate, no, not at all. It's just that when she sees how dull his blades are, it infuriates her. Definitely. So she takes them, along with his armor and polishes everything to perfection, just like she would her own. The githyanki cannot allow their metal to be in less than perfect condition, you see.

New refugees came to the settlement and Tav gets them settled, shows them the place they've built and makes sure they know they're safe. The newcomers are a little baffled that one of the saviors of Baldur's gate is so normal, and it gives them reassurance. Tav wants to make sure not everyone needs to look to Halsin for the smallest things.

In the midst of the shadow curse, despite their animosity, Shadowheart infuses several items around camp with light. She knows he must miss the sun.

In Rivington, Gale scouts for ingredients for a certain cake. He can't find what he's looking for, the settlement is very short on sweets. But with his little eye (and a bit of magic) he finds a honey bee hive. A few blisters and agry bees later - a small honeycake is done, served with tea. Gale didn't want to make assumptions but Tav had told him their favorite bear loves honey.

On a particularly dreadful night, Wyll invites Alfira to play them a few tunes. He goes from person to person and gets them to their feet to do a little dance. Halsin is sure he has two left feet so he is reluctant to try - but everyone cheers and encourages him so he does, peer pressure be damned. He steps on Wyll's feet and has no idea how to move his body in sync, but Wyll isn't phased by it. He moves and twirls him around and Halsin is sure that looks absolutely ridiculous - but he is having fun, for the first time in a long time.

[sinizade]

B'ella, the Pale Child (Dark Urges Redeemed)

Class: Warlock (Barbarian subclass)

Romance: Bae'Zel

Besties: Scratch / Owlbear / Wyll / Gale / Karlach

One extra egg among all those eggs wouldn't make a difference, nor would they complain about having two extra hands to fight for the "glory" of their queen. This way, the hatching of this egg surprised the elders of that Creche a little, a child as pale as the moon and with eyes as red as blood that possessed a fury worthy of a demon, certainly that child had something inside it, but the Githyanki wouldn't get rid of a healthy child just because of surpestitions based on one of the babies' appearance... But should they?

B'ella was obedient, precise, deadly, her teachers could see and feel the almost insane pleasure she felt every time she beat her opponents in training, every time she made them bleed and beg... Something so... Sadistic... Even for a Githyanki child, it was unusual to have such an appreciation for death and the ways of killing, but then again, they weren't going to get rid of such a dedicated and useful fighter like her just out of superstition.

Her adulthood was only accompanied by an insatiable hunger, B'ella could have had her uses in combat, an animal, a monster, but when her abilities began to affect other Githyanki they finally realized that having her there was no longer safe or suitable for Creche, so in a clear desperate act they tried to contain B'ella, they tried to tame the monster inside her... The Slayer, but that obviously didn't go as they expected and her sadistic, cruel and psychotic fury spread to everyone in that Creche. Every teacher, every warrior, doctor, student, child, egg, all murdered, torn apart in a bloody dance that spread throughout each hall and that was when she heard a voice, a small creature that praised her... A praise that she never found she was going to receive, told her that there was a place where she could be who she really was, where she could know what it was like to have a family that truly admired her for what she did...

That male human, that Enver Gortash, intelligent man. Tasting Gortash, subduing him to her whims was satisfying, but her devotion was only to her creator, to her god, to her father, Bhaal... But everything had been thrown into the trash with the betrayal of that insolent child, that damned and jealous changeling who took her rightful place.

Waking up on a ghaik ship with no memories left her disconcerted, but her focus now was to get out of there and return to her people and achieve purification. Having someone as adept in battle as Lae'Zel made it easier since the rest of her companions with the exception of Karlach left the pale gith with disgust in her mouth regarding combat.

It wasn't so bad being around that bunch of big noses, they entertained her, they seemed to care about her dark desires, not just for them, but also for her? This was new, not even she remembered the last time she received any kind of help (literally)

Lae'Zel... Zhak vo'n'fynh duj... B'ella could barely understand what she felt, she could barely know what she felt, she didn't know or remember that feeling, but with Lae'Zel everything was clear. .. She was her world, her sword, her flame, the source of her joy...

Finding out that she wasn't a child of Gith broke her, even if she managed to hide it well, it destroyed her completely inside, knowing that the years she spent in her Creche, that her "egg", that her life, was a fake life designed by her "father". That wasn't for her, even if it once had been, now it wasn't... B'ella would no longer be a Bhaalspawn, now she would be a child of Gith and follow Orpheus and her beloved Lae'zel into battle against Vlaakith's tyranny

Some extra information about B'ella

Her memory was "reset" to her times at Creche as soon as she lost her memories, before her dark impulses took over.

She has a strange habit of keeping a lock of her enemies' hair for no reason, she just likes to have a memory of good battles, but when the enemy wasn't good enough she just crushes its head (She has a lock of hair with her from the hair of Minthara/ Ketheric/ Raphael)

Even though she appears to be reserved and cold, B'ella is considered TOO romantic when she is with Lae'Zel and only Lae'Zel, only her source of joy can see B'ella that way

[bluestrawberry7]

definitive height ranking of the main ten bg3 characters

im right they told me themselves

10. last place is minthara lmao she's 5'3" (161cm) max. I love her being tiny and feral. still absolutely ripped, don't get me wrong, just... on a smaller scale. also drow are canonically the shortest elves (drizzt is 5'4"/162cm), and I know women are taller than men, so she'd still be a little under average, but its more middling in menzoberranzen. and she's still above goblins and stuff. but then she joins the party and is just towered over by all these men and surface elves and she is compensating

9. shadowheart is 5'6". she is the physical embodiment of y/n. I guess this is a little short for elves, because of the gender thing, but I just cannot see her being defined as "tall" or "short". like she's short, in comparison to the other companions, but that only emphasizes their enormity because she is so perfectly average.

8. I like wyll being 5'8"/173cm or so bc he just so thoroughly embodies short king energy. think of that marcello hernandez bit where he's like short kings put in the work, not because we wanted to, but because we had to. I'm sorry but wyll is just way too kind and good at dancing to have lived his whole life over 5'9". bro is tom holland. (his dad is comfortably over six feet. this is definitely not a source of contention)

7. astarion, I think, is canonically 5'9"/175cm, which is tall for male elves, but not by a ridiculous margin. i think it fits into him being like, default-ly desirable, where he sort of fits into a lot of different relationship molds without it looking weird, because its a whole part of his character than he's conventionally attractive. like the vampire stuff is the interesting part, but without that he looks averagely, disposably pretty, which is why so many people see right through him.

6. gale is exactly one inch taller than astarion. I like him being a kind of remus-lupin tall, where he like slouches a lot and doesn't super recognize it, which is amplified by the fact that he spent the majority of his adult life exclusively around tara and a literal goddess. he doesn't really grasp the social implications.

5. lae'zel ends up around gale-height (5'10"/178cm). I know some people swear by shortzel, but I like the idea of githyanki being gangling and alien. her in-game model doesn't look like it should be that tall, but her limbs are just a bit too long. I like her walking around camp in an uncanny valley way, where she looks so clearly 5'6" until she's standing right next to you.

4. I picture jaheira in her prime as taylor swift with elf ears. she's just under six foot, or ~181cm. its that whole thing about presidents/authority figures tending to be taller, because people like to literally look up to their leaders for some reason. she just has that confidence. she's not like outrageously tall, and she's totally comfortable with minsc etc being taller than her, but she's just. six feet tall.

3. karlach!! is 6'2"/188cm!!! (not including horns). I've seen people say she's a little more than that, but I don't think most people are grasping how tall 6'2" is, especially if you're like fully built. like, rhea ripley is 5'7". karlach is a UNIT. anything above 6'2" is reaching freak-of-nature status, where height is like. the only thing you see when you look at them.

2. speaking of freaks of nature, minsc is 6'4"/193cm, and he has been since he was like 13. he has lived his whole life being taller than 97% of people he meets. he had to be pulled aside in gym class and warned that he couldn't wrestle the other kids anymore because he might crush them. and he was heartbroken!! because he's like!! a great dane!!!! and he just wants to play!!

1. halsin is comically large. ≥6'5"/196cm. he is a statistical anomaly. i think he canonically assumes he's part orc, but I think it's funnier if he's literally just an elf. his parents are 5'6". he's never even worked out. doctors hate him.

the only race-related halsin theory i'll accept is that he's a bear who turned into a human and not the other way around

[imperator-titus]

Favorite Party Banter [Lae'zel Edition]

[Astarion (Ascended)] [Halsin/Jaheira] [Gale] [Karlach] [Lae'zel] [Minsc] [Minthara] [Shadowheart] [Wyll]

I often miss party banter because of party comp (and sometimes just straight up can't hear??) so here's a collection of my favorite bants while going through dialogue files. I know the wiki has the banter (most? all?) but I added the file names and dev notes.

Either Lae'zel is the main speaker/subject or I think her reaction is good shit.

Not in any particular order.

[PB_Astarion_Laezel_ReithwinVillage]

Astarion: Just once, I’d like to find a village that hasn’t been plundered and destroyed.

Lae’zel: Indeed. All the best weapons have already been scavenged.

Astarion: I was thinking about a warm fire and charming company, actually.

Lae’zel: I am perfectly charming, I’ll have you know. On Creche K’liir, I was known for my dazzling smile and charisma.

Astarion: Really?

Lae’zel: No.

[PB_Laezel_Shadowheart_ROM_Act1_001]

Lae’zel: How do you maintain such an elaborate plait, Shadowheart? The craftsmanship is impressive.

Shadowheart: Now that you mention it, I can’t remember who taught me. Another memory lost, perhaps. 

Lae’zel: Still. If you let me watch your technique, I might learn it from you.

Shadowheart: Maybe. If you keep a respectable distance.

[PB_Laezel_Gale_FelogyrsFireworks]

Lae'zel: Fireworks - a particularly gnomish field of art, no?

Gale: Indeed. More than simple craft, it's a way of life for some of them. {Devnote: not realizing she's about to crack a joke, taking the question seriously}

Lae'zel That may explain why most gnomes possess such short fuses.

Gale: Lae'zel! Was that a joke? {Devnote: utter disbelief, a joke from a relentlessly serious character}

Lae'zel: Only if you found it funny.

[PB_Laezel_Gale_BaldursMouth]

Lae'zel: Drink, dance, and song. Tu'narath's residents are known to partake in all three. Substantially.

Gale: Is that so? I assumed there to be little time for frivolity amongst all the fighting.

Lae'zel: Eternity is long, Gale. Long enough to pursue endeavors beyond combat.

Lae'zel: Githyanki write symphonies, craft liquors, paint frescos. When they aren't in fierce battle with ghaik, of course.

[PB_Karlach_Laezel_WyrmsRock]

Karlach: You know, I've always kind of hated this place. Such ado about a damned bridge.

Lae'zel: It's just a bridge. Is it really worth all that ire?

Karlach: C'mon, isn't there something you hate for no good reason?

Lae'ze;: Hm. I dislike owls. Their hyper-mobile necks are quite disconcerting.

Karlach: You know what, Lae? I couldn't agree more.

[PB_Gale_Laezel_ROM_Act3]

Gale: Tell me, Lae'zel, is it common for githyanki to fall in love?

Lae'zel: Love. Is that this feeling in me, then? This... passion to peel every layer of one's heart to see what light and shadows lurk there?

Lae'zel: Githyanki have playmates. Thrill-partners. But I'd never heard anyone profess love, nor read of it in our slates.

Lae'zel: I doubt I am the first githyanki to... to feel this way. But few would ever declare it.

[PB_Wyll_Laezel_SteelWatchFoundry]

Wyll: Labour is the lifeblood of every city. Baldur's Gate would perish without its workers.

Lae'zel: So it is with the githyanki. Without the mlar's swords and ships, and the gardens of our g'lathk, the empire couldn't thrive. {Devnote: meh-LAHR, geh-LATH-keh}

Wyll: Maybe githyanki and humans aren't so different afterall.

Lae'zel: Let's not get carried away, Wyll.

[sewerdad]

I think Wyll is the most fun character to romance the other origin companions as

Karlach- i think they’re the most obvious because of the way their stories sort of dance around each other. Especially with how if you want to save Karlach while as romancing another character her best option is ending up going with Wyll anyways.

Shadowheart- gods favorite princess with everyone’s favorite prince ( I know he’s not actually a prince but he is in my heart ) their banter while walking around us some of my favorite in the game they make me giggle when they talk!! Wyll and Shadowheart both grew up with unsavory people pulling the strings and whispering in their ears and I think they would help each other remember they are not who controlled them. They also both have a deep understanding of rejection. At the end of the day I think they would make each other blush and that makes me blush!!!

Astarion- I’m not explain this one. Have you heard how they talk about each other? They’re smitten!! I think it was love at first sight for Astarion. I don’t care if you disagree argue with a wall.

Lae’zel- Ok this one’s interesting, I like them the best when it’s actually Lae’zel romancing Wyll. It’s established that githyankis value sex over emotion in their relationships because of the way their society is set up which makes me laugh because Wyll’s romance route is literally all emotion and very little sex lmao. This would confuse and frustrate Lae’zel because she feels things for him but she can’t tell that he’s also super into her. Like he’s saying nice thing to her that makes her feel???things???? but he won’t push it any farther so she’s like ok maybe he’s just really nice!! And then they kiss and ok they’re finally getting somewhere ! But oh that’s it?? Then why does she still feel so light and her heads spinning?? By the time she get to the end of Wyll’s route she’s fallen in love but has never even touched the guy and that’s not how that supposed to work? I think the back and forth she would go through would be sweet and funny and the idea of them makes me laugh.

Gale- Ok I lied I actually can’t stomach watching these two theater kids fall in love. They’re both so corny I think I would be vomiting by the end lmaoooo, but hey I’m willing to be convinced ;)

That’s all if you hated this I don’t care!

[alliskit]

BG3 Headcanons Nobody Asked For.

Part 2: “Cheap” Alcohol.

As Astarion once asked, “But what would they taste like?”

Well, I don’t have the money to spend drinking brandy (sorry Gale), but there’s enough on the shelves I can buy that would describe them quite nicely.

A heads up that these are U.S. based, but I’ll make sure to describe them so you get the picture.

Gale:

He wants to be brandy, scotch, or a flavored liquor, but he’s not.

He’s a mid tier red wine — still a cab sav, but mid tier.

This is NOT a bad thing. This wine is your personal go-to especially if you’ve got no one coming over.

It’s flavorful enough on the palate but not too risky. It’s likely from a good brand that has more expensive options but this is good enough to buy repeatedly.

This is your wine you pair with your favorite dinner, a good book, watching tv, and after a stressful day. Your ride or die wine.

This wine is the kind of wine you can finish in one night and not feel guilty even when drunk. You can buy more later.

It’s dependable and delicious, makes you want to tell everyone about it.

It’s a favorite among many different kinds of palates.

Gale is always either the husband or male wife because he’s the easiest to commit to wholeheartedly, just like this wine.

Lae’zel:

She is Silver Patron Tequila. You will pay extra for this but the pain is worth it.

Githyanki are the definition of work hard play hard.

Once all the nonsense with the Elder brain and Orpheus is done, you will find her beachside on the Astral Sea, tatas out, a fresh squeezed lime house margarita in hand. Some Gith bard singing a rendition of Margaritaville they picked up passing through earths realm.

It’s the drink you deserve for all your hard work now that you’re in vacation mode.

It’s “exotic” but in safe way. Lae’zel may be from an asteroid but she’s your typical Gith fighter.

You don't put patron in every marg, but just the ones you want to hit fast and last.

Karlach:

Fireball Whiskey. The name itself just says it all.

You can get so many bottles of this for cheap in so many flavors.

It hits hard and fast and will make you ache by morning.

It’s not a party until someone pulls this out. Expect to get trashed.

It will coerce you into losing all filters and masks, learning to express who you really are.

It will burn going down and possibly coming back up, yet you will continue to wonder why you’re so willing to get burnt again.

She runs hot and so will you.

Wyll:

Craft beer. All craft beer.

He is ALL craft beer because he is the living embodiment of the dichotomy of an IPA made in someone’s garage that costs $14 a pint.

He is a man of his own making, gritty and self made, who can’t quite escape his silver spoon.

He has variety and many sides. Is he just your average guy or a sly devil? A little bit of both? A little sweet? A little sour?

Also he pairs well with all your favorite comfort foods.

He makes you want to dance a jig or sing a ballad at your local bar. He will lead it.

He’s of great taste, yet something in him longs to fit in. And with him, you can’t go wrong, even if it takes a minute to get past the initial bitterness.

Shadowheart:

Wine seltzer/vodka seltzer. Something really sweet and feels like a soda.

She’s the easiest crowd pleaser, even if it’s really watered down.

She not only tastes like this, this would be her drink of choice. Girl is tired and just wants a buzz while drinking something she can pound after a long day of saving lives.

You can enjoy this for near any occasion. Bring it to any event. (Someone at a funeral is craving a comfort drink and this will slap)

She, like Gale the red, is a comfort drink, but for a pick me up instead of a lay me down.

Astarion:

Prosecco and/or brut (poor man’s champagne because he’s not living the high noble life anymore)

He’s worthy of being celebrated, kicking your shackles off and stabbing your abuser warrants a celebratory kind of drink.

He’s not to everyone’s taste, but you’ll bear him for a good time.

If you get drunk on brut, you are a special kind of drinker. (Just like your fascination with vampires, some of us truly fear the feeling of death in the morning. If you’ve never had a Prosecco hangover, you’re better for it) I can hear him as he asks, “How are you feeling?” The morning after. LOL

He said he likes spicy food and spicy bubbles seem right up his palate. Also brut is great to pair with spicy!

Also drinking from a wine flute just makes you wanna say: “I’m fuckin posh” even if it’s plastic.

Minthara:

Our Spiced Rum mama. I’m talking Kraken spiced. The smooth rum followed by a heat like whiskey that makes you instinctively want to cough as it burns down your esophagus.

But oh how we love how it burns. Similar to Karlach but not nearly as in your face.

You will have a drunk existential crisis while dancing naked to Fleetwood Mac that will change how you see the world as you feel it burn deep in your soul.

You can drink this straight or in a cocktail and you will NEVER forget the experience. You will crave it.

It’s a smooth talker as it insults your inability to hold your alcohol. It will challenge your tolerance, making you think you really are a big baby. And I can hear her saying it. I’ll let her call me a cry baby whenever she wants.

Halsin:

Mead. I could just finish with just that, but I won’t.

Mead is honey wine if you didn’t know. Once again, it speaks for itself.

It’s comforting, it’s hearty, it’s sweet, it’s tasty, it warms the heart. Makes you want to lay back in the sun or sit warm by a fire.

Getting drunk on this is like getting drunk on sunshine and you will end up with the wine version of a sunburn but you’ll keep drinking.

Just like Halsin getting drunk and singing, dancing, and professing his love to strangers, you will too.

Honey wine will always treat you well and will make sweet love you “as nature intended”.

If you have more options you feel each of these guys embody, let me know! 👇🏻

[jynxeddraca]

Small, Soft BG3 Things

Just an ongoing list of small headcanons for Team Tadpole.

Astarion:

Astarion learned how to sew and embroider from his mother. She loved to embroider poems that she sold at market. Most of his word based embroidery looks like her handwriting, even though he doesn't remember that.

He's the go-to member of Team Tadpole for mending because he's the best out of all of them at it. More importantly: as he comes to view them as friends, the basic mending is supplemented with subtle embroidery.

Every child that he ends up spending time around learns some slight of hand trick and/or how to use a knife.

When everyone is asleep and he's particularly at ease, he'll quietly sing to himself while doing other things.

Gale:

As the self-appointed cook - come time to set up camp, Gale might fuss about the bizarre assortment of food stuff they find on their travels, but he secretly revels in the challenge of making filling, delicious foods out of what they're able to scavenge.

Cooking was how his mother and him bonded as he grew up so now it's his favorite way of showing affection/appreciation to others.

Spoils Tara with all her favorite foods when they're reunited (also I headcanon Tara joins the camp most nights in Act 3).

When he was younger, he specifically created an enchantment to enchant his mother's favorite rocking chair so that when it was activated, mage hands would appear and give her shoulders and feet a massage.

Halsin:

He learned to whittle from an uncle and the knife he uses today for his carvings was given to him by his mother - whose favorite animal was ducks.

Halsin likes to go sit in Bloomridge park when the city gets to him, taking Yenna with him if she's agreeable. He has taught her and several other random children how to braid flower crowns.

When he returns to Reithwin Town, he teaches Art how to whittle and Art teaches Halsin how to play the lute.

On nights where Halsin is keeping watch will offer to turn pages for Tara so she can read a book or two.

Jaheira:

Will turn into a cat/dog to give comfort to children if they are inconsolable.

Takes an afternoon with Halsin - both in wildshape - to show him how nature and the city can be more harmonious than he originally thought.

The lullaby she knows how to play on the tin whistle was one taught to her by her late husband - she has put all her children to sleep to it's tune.

Teases Tara about her treating Gale like her kitten.

The rats that show up in camp do give her updates on other Harpers - but most of the time they are updates about her children.

Karlach:

Clive - her teddy bear - was knitted by her mother and she considers him her 'good luck charm'. Before the infernal engine was forced onto her, he could often be found tucked into Karlach's belt at any given point of the day or in her purse/pouch.

Karlach almost left Avernus without Clive, and risked missing the Nautiloid to go back to grab him.

Because she calls Halsin "Bear Man" Arabella starts calling him that too. At the same time, Karlach starts calling Withers "Bone Man" because of Arabella.

Her parents used to dance around the living room with her - in camp she'll get Arabella and later, Yenna, to do the same. When she's especially energetic, she makes Wyll join her.

Lae'zel:

While she originally hates everything about Faerûn, she becomes especially fond of the sunrises and finds she enjoys sunflowers.

After the egg is acquired, she does softly sing an old githyanki lullaby to when she tends to it.

Because she feels it is an important skill to have for when the egg hatches, she learns to sew by watching Astarion. Eventually, she asks him for tips.

Lae'zel seems well-read (on githyanki literature anyways) in my opinion so I feel like even though she's a very skilled fighter, she also spent much of her time in the creche library growing up. In camp, she raids Gale's library bag often.

When Karlach started calling her 'Lae', she began referring to Karlach as 'Kar'.

Minsc and Boo:

When Boo isn't around Minsc, he spends time around Shadowheart curled up on her shoulder or sitting beside her as she meditates.

Amused that it baffles people who can speak with animals, Boo purposefully does not allow them to understand him and sticks with his telepathic communications with Minsc.

Minsc enjoys finding excuses to tell stories and is a good storyteller.

Teaches Tav a few Rashemen songs and stories.

Minsc and Boo both have a faint smell of warm stone about them due to being statues for a while.

Shadowheart:

When meditating, sometimes unknowingly hums an old lullaby her parents used to sing her.

Still sometimes mutters "Lady of Sorrows" when exasperated, and at one point while very tired said "Lady of Sil-rrows" instead.

Has started keeping seeds and nuts on hand for Boo.

Talking to Astarion and Halsin in Elvish is soothing to her, and sometimes it triggers memories of her father.

Tav:

Was gifted a stuffed bunny by her dad when she was a baby. His name is Biscuit.

Biscuit was handed down to Temerity (Tav's little sister) while they were in the orphanage and he currently lives on Temerity's pillow.

Tav and Karlach have introduced Clive (Karlach's teddy bear) to Biscuit.

The smell of leather oil reminds her of her father.

Wyll:

Has a soft spot in his heart for trashy romance novels and anything related to mermaids. An aside: even though he hasn't been home in years, the merfolk around Baldur's Gate remember him fondly as a child trying to swim deep enough to see them.

Actually enjoys debating Astarion about laws and their effects - even though they have wildly different views on the laws.

Has a secret tattoo, and yes, it's mermaid themed.

Offered to teach Lae'zel to use a rapier if she showed him how to wield a longsword.

Also enjoys cooking and likes to show Gale different ways to season/cook in the wilds.

The rapier he has at the start of the game was gifted to him by his father.

[ollypopwrites]

From Depths Unknown; Part 2

Part 1 here ; You can also read on Ao3.

Rolan x F!Tav (AFAB, she/her) *Tav is a Storm Sorcerer, but no actual reference to her appearance.

Rating: E

Tags & Warnings: [18+ MDNI] Language, Canon-typical violence, drinking, sexual content (male masturbation, dom/sub undertones, switch dynamics, choking is briefly mentioned), slow burn, slightly enemies to lovers but not quite, background Bloodweave, the use of ‘idiot’ as a term of endearment, domestic violence and past child abuse, jealousy.

Series Summary:

Rolan couldn’t figure out what he did wrong. He thought he had been better, had held his tongue when a particularly harsh remark inevitably wanted to make it out, he had called her a friend, given her party free reign of the tower. But Tav seemed distant. 

Notes: We are getting a little spicy! I love these two, we should have another update soon-ish. Maybe not this weekend, but soon.

Baldur’s Gate was busy.

After so long in the Underdark and then the Shadowcursed lands, Tav felt strangely crowded by the amount of people in the streets. And her mental list of tasks was getting longer by the minute. There was so much to do, and time was not on their side given the regular psionic earthquakes shaking the city. As she got them all settled in a room at the Elfsong (discounted thanks to a nasty murder in the room just next door) she wanted one night to get her wits about her.

Most everyone went their separate ways for the night: Shadowheart teamed up with Lae’zel to go speak with Voss, Halsin felt the need to shut himself up in the room, Jaheira had Harper business to attend to, while Wyll and Karlach went searching some old haunts for any friends that may still have been in the city. Gale and Astarion accompanied Tav downstairs to the pub, where they all delightfully wanted to share some quality drinks rather than the beggar's choices they had been drinking on the road. A familiar voice rang out amongst the crowd, singing a jaunty tune that had some nearby patrons singing along. 

“That’s Alfira!” Tav said excitedly. 

The bard had her audience’s gleeful attention, and nearby Tav spotted Lakrissa watching on. Her eyes flitted around the room, hoping to find another familiar face. The tieflings had set off for Baldur’s Gate shortly after the battle, ready to finally get to their destination now that the road was clear. The party had only crossed paths with them again just before entering Rivington. Rolan, Cal, Lia, Alfira and Lakrissa had joined them for a night of drinking to celebrate.

It was no party as they had after the Grove, but it was a much needed night of relief after the constant threat of the curse. Tav found herself wandering over to talk to him as often as she could. He was like a new person: excitement palpable at the prospect of finally making it to Ramazith’s Tower. She’d never seen him smile so much, and while she would never call him giddy — he was as close as Rolan could possibly be to such a state. 

The next night the tieflings left, and with them the rosy glow of victory dissipated. The tadpole crew  had been attacked by Githyanki and had to run to their Dream Guardians aid. only to find out that the mysterious entity in the prism was in fact a mindflayer called The Emperor. 

The idea that the one thing saving her was the very creature which she was actively trying not to change into felt poetic somehow. Fucked up to be sure, but poetic. 

Tav’s eyes danced along the crowd, looking for horns and flashes of red skin. Her excitement spiked, “look! It’s Cal and Lia.”

Astarion groaned, “here we go.”

“What?” 

“The tieflings are a charming group but everytime we cross them they need saving,” he said. “We really don’t have time for more heroics, darling, we got them to the city. Let them fend for themselves.”

“They’re friends, Astarion,” Gale scolded lightly.

“Needy friends.”

“I know all about those,” she gave him a pointed look. 

Astarion made a show of pouting, and batting his eyelashes which made Gale chuckle slightly into his cup. Their resident vampire couldn’t quite blush, but she saw his lips twitch in a sweet smile as he looked at Gale. 

“I’m going to say hello,” Tav said promptly, standing and grabbing her glass. “You two stay here and canoodle or whatever it is you get up to.” 

“Canoodle,” Astarion gagged the word. “You’re rubbing off on her now, Wizard.” 

“Expanding one’s vocabulary is nothing to scoff at!” 

“Having one walking encyclopedia is more than enough,” Astarion blithely retorted, “two would be intolerable.”

Tav was already making her way across the room as the two started bickering, her presence forgotten quickly as they started in on what she had to believe was their own special form of foreplay. As she came up, Lakrissa spotted her with a happy wave and she plopped down on the seat next to Cal. 

“It’s you!” He said happily. “When did you get here?”

“Just got into the city today. We crashed Gortash’s coronation and then nabbed the suite upstairs.” 

“Do you ever stop?” Lia asked aghast. “Less than a week ago you were infiltrating Moonrise.” 

“I wish I could stop,” Tav took a long drink. “It’s one thing after the other.”

“Being a hero is a full time job then?” Lia smirked. 

“More than full time,” Tav said. “And the pay is shit.” 

Lia laughed, “in that case, I’ll buy you a drink.” 

As Lia stood to head to the bar, Tav turned to Cal. “You lot made it in okay? No trouble?”

“Smoothest part of the journey. We got here just before they closed off the gate,” he said. “Lia’s already got work, and we’ve got a shoddy little place around here.” 

“I’m so glad to hear it,” Tav touched his shoulder. “Rolan must be so happy.” 

At the mention of his brother, Cal’s smile fell for a moment, but he quickly said, “he’s been working hard.” 

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” She smiled, “is he staying with you?”

“No, he stays at the tower,” Cal said. “We… we haven’t seen much of him since we arrived.”

“Oh,” Tav said dumbly. Something felt off. 

“He writes though, just today he sent us some of his earnings,” Cal said. “We go to the shop to see him, but he makes us leave. Doesn’t want anyone to think he’s mucking about.”

Tav’s frown deepened. “I’ve got to head to Sorcerer's Sundries, maybe I can get him to come out for a drink.” 

“We’d like that,” Cal smiled. 

The first time he can remember his father hitting his mother was because she took the blame for a broken glass. Rolan hadn’t meant to, he was toying with the weave, practicing from a book he was borrowing and the spell went wrong. It shattered the glass into a million shards. 

He and his mother had looked at each other for split moment before she grabbed the biggest pieces and put them in the sink. When his father stormed in, she apologized, showing a bloody hand from the glass. Her apology hadn’t mattered, nor had tears or begging. They never did. After she died there was no one else to take the blame or the beatings. Rolan had always been tall, taller than all of his friends, but he was lanky and awkward. His hands were never comfortable in the shape of a fist, his arm never created the momentum to do any damage. He tried; every time his father’s fist made contact all Rolan felt was hot fury, his arms flailing and seeming to slide off of his target. It wasn’t until the hot fury turned into a witchbolt that he ever felt on even ground with his father. Rolan had left the house leaving him in as bad of shape as he always left his son, for once. 

He never went back into that house after that night. 

The bruises currently on his face felt nostalgic in a way that turned his stomach. Lorroakan and his father were similar in a sense that everything and nothing turned their moods, but his new master had the unfortunate upper hand of also having magic at his disposal. He had worked too hard to get where he was to up and leave the apprenticeship. Too much suffering, too much sacrifice; there would be no running to Cal and Lia’s doorstep as in his youth. He had to stick it out until he was in a position to claim something better. 

His mind had justified the beatings as a test, perhaps on keeping the mind focused even under threat. If he let the inkling that he had been duped linger too long he felt a shame and rage that was unbearable. So he put his head down, he worked hard, he took the beatings and he learned. Not from Lorrokan, but from other tellers around the shop. From the books Tolna suggested with her whispers becoming more conspiratorial and her eyes sympathetic. He hadn’t been to see Cal and Lia in days. 

He knew how they would react. His plan was to wait until the bruising went down and then face them again. Rolan’s position at the front was never boring, there was no way Sorcerer’s Sundries could ever be boring, he was convinced. It was incredibly busy, people coming in for protections against the threat of the cult that was at the doorstep of the city. He didn’t think twice when an armored group of four walked through the doors, just continued making sure the stock requisition forms were correct. 

“Rolan!”

That voice. For a moment he forgot that he had been beaten to a pulp the night before, too distracted by excitement when he looked up and saw her. Gale, Astarion and the Archdruid fell behind as Tav bound up to the front desk. 

“Tav,” he  greeted, unable to keep the warmth out of his voice. “What are you doing here?”

Her smile fell a bit and her eyes flicked over his face. “Rolan, you - you look a little… worse for wear.” She frowned, “what happened to your face?” 

“Nothing for you to worry about,” The stinging of the cut on his lip splitting with his forced smile made him aware of how badly he looked again.  And Tav looked unconvinced. 

“Hardly a place to learn, working behind a desk,” Halsin commented. 

“This is my… apprenticeship.” He shrugged. “It has not been what I expected. Master Lorroakan is a… difficult man.” 

There was a crackle of static, the light shining from behind Tav’s eyes. He saw her take a deep breath, and place an easy smile on her face. Saving him his dignity, he’d presume. 

“He’s consumed by this pursuit of the Nightsong. I haven’t learnt a thing, and I fear it will stay that way.”  

“A lucky escape,” Gale chimed in, “given Lorroakan’s reputation. He’d have little of value to teach you.” 

Rolan smiled in thanks. “But never mind that. What can I do for you?”

Tav looked like she wanted to say something, even opened her mouth to start but she hesitated. Finally, she said, “funny you mention it, we actually have information about the Nightsong.”

Rolan leveled her with a serious look. A pit forming in his stomach. “Be very sure before you make a visit to Lorroakan,” he warned, “he’s got a beastly temper.” At her raised eyebrow at the comment, he quickly added, “but if you really do know something, he’ll want to see you. Head upstairs, you can find the way into his tower up there.” 

“We will,” she nodded. 

“Before we speak with your… beastly master,” Gale chimed in, “might you direct us in the direction of where we can find tomes of a rare nature?”

“Tolna handles tomes,” he said, “just around this pillar.” 

“Wonderful, thank you,” Gale said, then leaned in, “if you want a real teacher, the Elfsong is our home for the duration of our stay.” He winked before he walked away, ushering Astarion and Halsin away with him.

“Rolan,” Tav said. 

“Don’t,” he said, a bit more brusquely than he wanted to. “There’s nothing you can do.” 

“Has that ever stopped me before?”

“I mean it,” his temper flared, he closed his eyes, breathed deeply and then, “your party will be waiting for you.”

“Come by tonight,” she said quickly. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I owe you a bottle of Arabellan Dry.”

She walked away then. He tried not to let his gaze follow her, but it did anyway, interrupted by a customer coming up to the desk. And then another. Incapable of controlling the desire to look at her, he turned to Tolna’a corner of the shop.  Tav was looking at him, a darker look than he had seen before. She looked away quickly when she was caught, speaking with Tolna until they decided to make their way up the stairs. 

If Lorroakan laid a finger on her, Rolan was not sure he could contain himself. She could handle herself, she had her friends by her side even if she couldn't, but he would never forgive himself if she came down those steps with a single mark from his bastard master.

He wasn’t sure how long they were up there, speaking to his master. But when they came down she was storming towards the entrance, not looking back, with her party following as they always did. At the very least she looked unharmed, if not furious. He opened his mouth to call after her, but someone came up to the counter and he had to keep himself from chasing after her.

After his shift, he withstood the usual line of questions watching Lorroakan closer than ever. The man seemed unharmed, a little angrier than usual, but so distracted he waved Rolan off after one sharp smack across his face. It was not too late, and the walk to the Elfsong was not terribly long.

Rolan made it to the door of the inn, people were gathered outside speaking, the doors open and letting the sounds of revelry spill into the street. There was no initial sight of anyone he knew from his spot on the threshold of the door. The idea of pretending everything was fine made his stomach churn, in fact, he was not sure he was capable of it. 

Every negative emotion he ever harbored only ever warped into an anger he was still learning to temper. He was angry and ashamed and the pub was too loud so he turned around. Cowardly of him, he knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to face her or know if she had confronted Lorroakan on his behalf. Ever since she had come back from Moonrise separate from the freed prisoners, an uncomfortable parallel had drawn itself in his mind. 

Seeing her bruised and bloody always reminded him of his mother bearing wounds and blame that were meant for him.

When Rolan didn’t show up at the Elfsong, it had stung. She tried not to take it personally, she tried not to think too much on it, but there she was alone with an unopened bottle of his favorite wine. She was sat dejectedly around the unused pipe the room came with, sitting on some of the pillows that littered the floor. 

“Well, no point in letting it go to waste,” Astarion sighed, feigning actual sympathy for her situation as he sat with her, “may as well crack it open.” 

She tugged it closer to her protectively. “I owe him this bottle, I’ll bring it to him when we go back.” 

Astarion gave her a look that not even the tadpole needed to decipher: it screamed ‘you can’t be serious.’ She felt her face heat up, and looked away. 

“If I knew you liked your sweethearts a little mean I would have gone about my seduction much differently,” he finally teased. 

“And you think you were what? Sweet?” 

“Not sweet,” he conceded, “more… sultry.” 

“Well it seemed to work on Gale,” she muttered. 

Astarion leveled her with a half-hearted glare. “I thought you weren’t interested. I could always ask him if he’s up for a third.” 

“No, thank you,” she shuddered dramatically. “That’s too much ego for me.” 

“Afraid you couldn’t keep up, darling?”

“I’m afraid I won’t fit into the bed,” she scoffed, “it’s remarkable enough that the pair of your giant heads fit into one room.” 

Astarion chuckled a little. “It’s not  just our  heads that are big, my dear.”

Tav launched a pillow at him, and his true laugh, high pitched and unrehearsed echoed making her smile. “I suppose we ought to tell Dame Aylin about Lorroakan.”

Astarion hummed. “I do want to see her rip him in half, but we just settled in for the night. Perhaps in the morning.”

“The morning sounds good,” Tav nodded, trying to hide her disappointment.

When she had discovered Lorroakans goals for Aylin, Tav found an opportunity present itself. While he had his own head up his ass, and was a cruel bastard, she could feel his power even by just standing in the room. She had more than enough reasons to blast him out of the window; he wanted to imprison Aylin, he had been rather rude to Gale, and then there was the state of Rolan’s face. 

Gods, she could have sent a fireball in his face for that alone. 

But he was powerful. And having Dame Aylin at their side to rid the world of his wretched smirking face would probably be a good idea. And Tav supposed it would mean a lot to Aylin to take down another megalomaniac that wanted to use her for immortality. After hundreds of years of imprisonment she could offer her new ally that. 

“He’s very proud,” Astarion said suddenly. 

“Lorroakan? Proud is putting it lightly.” 

“Rolan,” Astarion emphasized. 

“Oh.” 

“When we found you by the lake I thought he might hit you,” Astarion was not looking at her, but his tone had a rare tinge of sincerity. 

“Oh, no, Astarion, no,” Tav said immediately. “He was angry, but he had just saved me. Pulled me out of the lake and I — I said some unkind things.” 

“I’m only saying,” Astarion seemed to bolster every genuine fiber of his being to say, “you ought not sit around sullenly for a man who is only ever angry at you for helping him. There’s plenty of people whose eye you’ve caught, you hardly have to settle for someone who can’t be bothered to show up.” 

It hurt to hear, but there may have been a tinge of truth to it. Still, Astarion had not been there by the lake when he shared his last bottle with her. She’d seen something in him that night, something that plagued her thoughts when the rest of camp went quiet and she was alone. It was some unknown depth she had yet to reach, and desperately wanted to. 

She shook her head. “You still can’t have this bottle. I’m a woman of my word.” 

“Spoilsport,” he pouted. 

The moment passed, and they went about the night without mentioning Rolan. Except when Gale came to sit with them and inquired after him to which Astarion elbowed him hard enough to make the Wizard wheeze. For the rest of the night it was business as usual with her friends and as she fell asleep she found herself wondering  if Astarion was right to be warning her off of these feelings that had bloomed. 

An ungodly crash shook the building, raining down glass upon the patrons and stopped only by some quick thinking on Tonlu’s behalf. Shortly after Tav and her crew came storming through the door and without even a passing glance they ran up the stairs towards the top of the tower. 

“Hey! What are you —“ 

When none of them were stopped by his exclamation, he jumped over the desk to follow them up.  As he followed them into their portal of choice, Lorroakan stood confronting an incredibly tall otherworldly looking winged woman. 

Tav stood a decent distance behind, her arms folded over her chest and her stance sturdy. He had rarely seen her in action, and the one time he had it was a dark chaotic whirl when she saved him from the Shadow Curse. Gale stood at her side, even his demeanor in the face of confrontation had changed from its normal welcoming smile to a stern focus. Karlach was bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement, and the Archdruid stood still but there was something about his demeanor which resembled a creature about to pounce. In all honesty, they were terrifying. 

“What are you so scared of magus? Not the Nightsong, surely, she’s nothing but a relic to be purchased and pursued.” The winged woman seethed. 

Rolan was brought out of his awe at Tav and her companions. He stared at the winged woman. “My gods, the Nightsong is a person?”

“Boy! At the ready,” Lorroakan commanded, “once I’ve taken control of the aasimar she must go directly into the caging runes.”

Everything in him rejected the idea. He felt Tav’s eyes on him, leaving him bolstered by righteousness “No, Master Lorroakan,” he said firmly, “I would never have assisted you if I knew you planned such horrors.” He would not be cowed by the rage that slipped onto Lorroakan’s face. “You lied to get the Nightsong here. Made us all believe she was nothing but a relic.” He turned to Tav, “I  have seen what true leadership can accomplish — “ and finally to his master, “but never under your tutelage.” 

“Watch your tongue, you child,” Lorroakan hissed, “I could make it such that no wizard in the realm will touch you.” 

“If they’re all like you, I think that sounds like an excellent bargain,” Rolan shot back.

This pleased the aasimar, who rallied a truly hateful laugh, “face us, charlatan! We who detest you so.”

Then it was a blur of violence.

 Rolan kept his focus on Lorroakan as did the Nightsong. Tav and her friends kept the myrmidon’s he had summoned at bay after making quick work of his assistant. Tav was a storm of magic, untamed and rawly powerful. She moved in perfect tandem with her companions, they knew how to leave room for attacks, when to parry and duck. 

Rolan had to focus. Keeping Lorroakan from blocking or containing the Nightsong was no easy feat. He threw counter spell after counter spell, surprising himself every time his will overpowered his former master’s. The fire myrmidon sent a blaze of fire toward him — not enough to truly hurt him but it broke his focus. With a yell, he saw Tav fly to get in position and then call down a chain of lightning which stuttered the movements of the myrmidon and rained down on its allies. Even Lorroakan was hit. 

Finding an opening, Rolan deployed an onslaught of magic missiles which hit him in instant succession. Lorroakan fell to his knees in a daze. Behind them, he saw Gale finish off one of the myrmidon’s and Karlach made quick work of another. The Archdruid had taken the shape of a bear, claws shredding the armor of the third. Tav very nearly pushed him out of the way as another hail of fire fell on them, the smell of burning hair and flesh filling the room. She gave an angry yell, thunder boomed and the construct of fire hit the wall before turning to ash. 

Just as he was going to ask if she was okay, Lorroakan howled. They watched as the Nightsong lifted the famed master of Razamith’s Tower and snapped his spine in half over her armored knee. 

It was cathartic, and quite the relief when she tossed him onto the floor as if he were nothing. 

He watched as she left, wordlessly, in a haze of feathers and silver light. 

“Lorroakan is dead,” he said, in disbelief. “The Bastard is dead.” 

“Are you alright?” Tav asked. 

“I am, now that the bastard is in bits,” he smiled a little. “Lorrokan was a cruel and vicious man. By day, I’d tend the shop. By night, he’d fire the most nonsensical questions at me. And for every one I’d answered wrong he’d beat me.” 

Flashes of the nights spent in the tower flickered by, Lorrokan’s pale skin in his memories sometimes replaced by red skin and eyes that matched his own. He looked away from Tav’s intent stare. 

“I could have killed him with my own two hands,” he breathed, “but I kept thinking it was all a test. It had to be.” At her patient gaze, her friends, maybe their friends, standing by just as understanding he found himself unfurling. “I thought it was the price to pay to become a true wizard. I realize now he was just a sick, sick man.”

“I’m sorry, Rolan,” Tav said. “You were so looking forward to your apprenticeship.” 

“I see things clearly now,” he shook his head, “if I wish to master the weave, I must do it myself.” She didn’t look convinced. “Thankfully I have everything I need, right here.”

“More than everything,” Gale said. “You’ll make a fine wizard, Rolan.”

“Thank you.” 

“You should go to Lia and Cal. They’re worried sick, mate.” Karlach piped up. 

“I’ll move them in right away,” he assured her. “Lorroakan refused to let them stay here. They are gonna love the tower.” 

“I’m sure they will,” Tav smiled, but it was weak and somewhat forced. 

She was singed by the fire myrmidon. A few of her hairs were singed, she had ash on her face and an angry burn just below her chin. Tav had looked worse, he knew, but again he understood the gravity of what she had done for him. Even inadvertently.

Instead of anger, he felt deep gratitude and finally the means to pay her back. 

“I wouldn’t have all this — the tower, my family — if it weren’t for you.” At once Tav’s face shifted to something softer, the storm in her eyes quelled. “What can I do to thank you?”

“You don’t have to thank me,” she assured him. 

Before he could respond, Gale cleared his throat. “Certainly, Tav’s generosity is to be commended but,” he said, “we could make use in the way of supplies and… access to some of the rarer tomes.”

Tav winced slightly. “Supplies would be helpful,” she admitted. “And Gale has tunnel vision about a book that’s hidden in the tower.”

“I’d be happy to assist,” he nodded his head. “I’ve yet to journey into the vaults, we can figure them out together.”

“An excellent idea,” Gale nodded with a slight bow. “Perhaps we may also employ Astarion’s assistance, he’s the pilfering sort.”

“He may have stolen some material components when we were here last,” Tav seemed mortified but Karlach was cackling behind her. 

“You can have whatever you like,” Rolan said quickly. “Leave only the scrolls and tomes.”

“Thank you,” she breathed in relief. “We’ll — erm — let you settle in.”

“Before you go, know this,” Rolan quickly gathered his courage, “Ramazith’s tower and its master, are now your friends. And when the time comes, we will stand with you as allies.” 

“Enjoy your new digs!” Karlach called as they turned to leave. 

“We will be back soon,” Gale assured him.

Tav had nothing else to say to him as she left. 

It was a bit awkward as Tav, Gale, Astarion and Rolan ventured into the vaults. 

Rolan and Gale were getting along swimmingly, volleying knowledge and theories off of each other. Astarion hung back with Tav, unlocking doors as needed, but lingering behind the two wizards gushing over the hidden collection of Ramazith’s. The tiefling was rather charming, she found, when he was matched in wit and interest. Perhaps it was Gale’s own warm nature that brought it out of him, but regardless, Tav found herself watching the two of them interact so easily with an uncomfortable prickle under her skin.

She’d never been so annoyed at Gale before, not even when he nearly blew them all up in the name of forgiveness for his ex. He also thought he would be saving the world, but even so — the fact he even considered it worth mentioning had made her want to smack him. Now she just wished he’d shut up. 

“I think one wizard is more than enough,” Astarion said blithely. “You needn’t bring this one back to our rooms.”

“He has a big fancy tower now,” Tav replied. “Our suite at the Elfsong looks like a hovel in comparison.”

“Do you think they’d even notice if we left?” 

“Probably not.”

Astarion sighed dramatically. Tav felt his eyes slinking toward her. “Shall we take off without them?”

“That sounds like a terrible idea. I’m in.”

It was a terrible idea and they had quite a few burns to show for it. They had stumbled upon an armory, full to the brim with enchanted armors and weapons. Of course, the room had vaulted a fireball at them at Astarion’s initial failure to pick a magical lock. But a column of alabaster had saved them from being incinerated, only the immeasurable heat had gotten them. Tav was, as Gale had so diplomatically put it at the start of their journey, not studied in magic. She just was magic, always had been.

Her knowledge of the arcane only went so far beyond what she felt. She knew spells, knew the names of them, but she mostly just went with her gut at what to throw around and found its name later. When faced with a room full of enchanted objects, she only could pick them up to see what they did. Some of it came with tags that had details of the magical abilities they held, but at some point Lorroakan had taken to hoarding rather than cataloging. 

Tav slipped on a ring, basic in appearance, a simple gold band with writing engraved around its circumference and felt herself thrust into a state of unbeing. She could see Astarion, but around him was a whirl of  chaos. Energies of different colors collided and roared, in a cacophony that felt somehow familiar but overwhelming. Her hand reached out and a trail of lightning wrapped around her arm. She knew the tingling zap of it well, the rumble of thunder taking the place of her heart beat and the soft spray of rain. But it became too much, the sear of the lightning overtaking her and she wrenched the ring off. 

“Tav where the hells did you go?” Astarion asked.

“Did I go somewhere?” 

“You disappeared!” He said. “Is that a ring of invisibility?” 

“Definitely not,” Tav said, quickly taking off her vambraces where her skin still tingled. 

“Oh, my,” Astarion looked down at her arm. “Have you always had that?”

Her forearm was covered in white divuts that spidered out and glowed slightly. As if lightning lived there in her arms. It didn’t hurt, but it felt as if the remnants of a touch were electrically charged. Her and Astarion were still enraptured by the marks when the door flew open. 

“There you two are,” Gale said. “By Mystra’s eyelids, you can’t go wandering off in a highly guarded wizard’s tower!”

“By who’s eyelids, darling?”

Even without knowing all the details of their relationship, Tav could see the coldness in Astarion’s eyes and the flood of tension that took over the room. Gale looked as if he had fallen into a frozen lake. Something was transpiring between her friends and she felt as if she was not supposed to see it. 

“Look what we found!” Tav said  to Rolan who stood back with arms folded and looking unamused. “An armory!”

“Is that so?” 

She bounded up to him, if only to get away from the unspoken conversation happening between Gale and Astarion. 

“What happened to your arm?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” 

Rolan leveled her with a look. 

“I put on this ring, and Astarion said I disappeared — “ Rolan’s eye actually twitched, so she barreled on before he could yell, “but I could see him it was just like I don’t know, everything around was just energy. And something reached out to grab my hand and it felt like my magic, like my own magic was holding my hand!” She was excited despite the unusual state of her arm. “And when I took it off I had this.” 

He grabbed her arm, fingers running over the divots and inspecting it. Turning it over, his nails dragged along the sensitive flesh of the inside and dragged over her palm. A pleasurable shudder rippled down her spine. 

“Did that hurt?”

“Uh,” she felt her brain zap, “no.” 

It felt very good. 

“They’re fading.” 

Now that she looked at it, the glow was siphoning away very slowly. “Huh.” 

Rolan brought her arm closer for him to inspect. His hands were incredibly warm. As he asked her questions about what she saw, she found herself answering almost dazedly. It was only after he seemed to have asked all the questions he could and was simply holding her arm in quiet contemplation that she realized he was rubbing his thumb along her skin. 

“Rolan,” she said quietly. 

“Hmm?” 

“Can I have my arm back?”

He dropped it as if it flooded him with an electric shock. “You seem fine. Please refrain from playing with magical artifacts you have no idea how to properly use.” 

“That’s no fun.”

His eye twitched again. 

“Erm,” she said, “did you find Karsus’ book?”

Rolan’s eyes slid over her shoulder, back where Astarion and Gale were. He motioned for her to follow him, and around the same pillar of stone which had saved her and Astarion,  he led her out of the room. 

“We found the book.” 

“Oh, good,” she said. “Gale says it’s integral for figuring out how to deal with the Elder Brain.”

“Yes,” Rolan said quietly. “What do you know of Karsus?”

“Only what Gale has told me,” she replied. “Fall of netheril, tried to become a god, - just the juicy stuff.”

“Then you know how it ended last time someone played with that kind of power.”

“I do.” 

“Gale is an immensely talented and knowledgeable wizard,” Rolan prefaced.

“Got a crush, do you?”

The tone of her voice was a little more pointed than she liked. An ugly thing inside of her scratching at her chest at his praise of Gale. Which was unreasonable. Gale was everything he said; Gale was one of her best friends. There was no reason for her to be acting this way. 

Rolan frowned. “I’m not trying to argue with you nor insult him, I’m only letting you know there was something about the way he talked about the crown, and the book. Please, keep an eye on him.”

Tav remembered how Gale had reacted to first seeing the crown, and then to the way he had near badgered her about finding the book. He had to correct himself when he talked about what the crown would do for him — the quick addition of for us that he added as an afterthought. 

Tav nodded. 

“I don’t mean to intrude,” he said. “You’ve helped my family a hundred times over. I owe it to you to do the same.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” She corrected. She hated how transactional it sounded. 

“Are you angry with me?” He asked, an edge to his voice that she knew spelled trouble. 

“Angry? No.”

Yes. No? She wasn’t sure. She almost wanted to pick a fight. It seemed to be the only time he ever gave her any mind. She didn’t know arcane history, couldn’t gush over magical theory with him — and he had never shown up for that bottle of wine. He only paid attention to her when he was upset with her. She wanted to needle at him, to make herself the focus of that blazing amber gaze even if he was snarling at her. 

Astarion was walking out of the room, jolting them out of the staring contest they were having. “Send him back when you’re done with him,” Astarion waved at Rolan. “He wants to identify some of those objects.” 

He walked off, an air of finality about his path. Something had happened. Her role of leadership reared its head, if there was dissent amongst the camp it was her job to temper it. 

“You have to go,” he said.

“Duty calls.” She sighed. “Thank you for the warning. We will drop by again, I’m sure.”

Rolan only nodded in reply and she set off. 

Rolan couldn’t figure out what he did wrong. He thought he had been better, had held his tongue when a particularly harsh remark inevitably wanted to make it out, he had called her a friend, given her party free reign of the tower. But Tav seemed distant. 

Only in crowds would she thaw. He’d been making his way to the Eflsong with Lia and Cal, under the guise of watching Alfira perform or to see Lakrissa. The team of heroes often joined them, sometimes looking worse for wear but never bringing whatever challenges they were facing with them. Tav talked when everyone was around, talked to him and was friendly enough. But they never had a moment alone.

 Even if they did he was not sure what he would say. Being the new owner of Ramazith’s was a full time endeavor; if he wasn’t experimenting he was busy trying to manage the shop. More and more people were turning up for protective measures against the string of events which threatened the city. Cal and Lia helped, happy to have a place to live and a job. It was becoming a rather fluid family business. 

But when the day slowed down or at night when laid in bed in Lorroakan’s reclaimed room, his mind drifted always to her. If he saw her at the bar that night he had committed to memory what she wore, any new cuts and bruises, and how the old ones were healing. His hand would drift under his trousers, gently massaging his length as it swelled with interest at the thought of her.

Every peak of cleavage where that damned pearl pendant dangled so teasingly where he wanted to kiss was seared into his mind. Each glance at her leaning over the bar to speak with Alan and order a round of drinks for everyone had him begging to grab at the swell of her bottom. Her eyes when she had stared Lorroakan down before she erupted in a flurry of magic. The calm before the storm of her wrath. How they would soften for her friends, and even him when she glanced over. 

Rolan would stroke himself to different imaginings of her. His gallant hero riding him, hands on his chest and glorious as she chased her pleasure. Or beneath him, soft and pliant for once, only for him. Teasing but humbled as he was a benevolent but stern authority, until she finally allowed him to experience the bliss of her submission. To let him take care of her for once.

He could even be the submissive, he thought despite never having considered it before, imagining cooing praise as he gave her whatever she wanted. Gods, he knew she would take him apart in ways he could never recreate with anyone else. He would trust her to hold her hand around his throat, to lovingly claw at his skin, to whisper words of adoration in contrast to the way she had control of his very breath in her grip.He would spill over into his own hand with visions of her eyes crinkling at the corners with a smile. She was, so far unwittingly, boring her way into his mind the same way the illithids had done to her. 

But that very tadpole had kept her very busy. The trouble in Baldur’s Gate only grew more intense. Everyone had seen less of her crew as the days went on, only Alfira or Lakrissa getting glimpses of them racing to and fro at the inn day in and out. Everything was coming to a catalyst, he could feel it in the air. It was bad enough that his family had viewed Baldur’s Gate as a haven only to find it on the verge of chaos, now the very object of his desires was at the very center of it all. Storybooks often spoke about the plight of heroes, rarely did they touch upon the abject misery of the ones who loved them.

Watching them destroy their bodies, minds and hearts to be brave enough to save the day. Unable to do anything but offer mere pittances. And Tav wouldn’t even allow him to do that. 

In the midst of his musings on her one night as they closed the shop, a violent earthquake shook the city. They were more common these days but this one felt different, it lasted longer, the tremor nearly knocked potion bottles off the wall and the whole city seemed to freeze moments after it passed. 

“Do you think it’s them?” Cal had asked, breaking the terrified silence. 

“It always is.”

They had gone to the Elfsong after the shop was locked up. All agreeing that their friends might need them, even if just to buy them a drink. When he arrived, the place was packed. Voices loud as people theorized and panicked over drinks, not even Alfira’s songs could carry over the din. 

Their heroes were nowhere to be seen. 

They found Lakrissa, who was attempting to be a one woman crowd for Alfira. “Have they returned? Do they know what’s going on?”

Lakrissa looked grim. “We saw the Archdruid carrying someone small  — maybe a halfling or a gnome or something — up the stairs. They looked bad.”

Rolan felt his stomach plummet through the wood floor. 

“Tav came down to grab wine, Alfira said she was heading up to the roof when she came down to perform.” 

Rolan was turning for the stairs before Lakrissa finished the sentence. Something was off. He passed by the suite which he knew her party was in, voices were low but they were in there. He saw the open hatch and climbed up with a grunt.

The roof was not lit up, but the city lights allowed for a low glow that partially blotted out the stars. The crescent moon above was not much helpful but it was out clear as day. He spotted a figure, alone, slumped over at the far end of the roof. Even in the dark he knew it was her. 

He approached only to be met with her calling, in slurred together words, “‘ready told you, Karlach. I don’ wanna watch you arm wrestle Minsc.”

“They should sell tickets to that,” he said in response. “You’d all be rich.”

She turned around sharply. “S’ you.”

“It’s me,” he replied. “May I join you?”

“M’pissed, and miserable,” she slurred. “Not good,” she belched, “company.” 

It was oddly charming, despite her drooping eyes and the way she dryly licked her lips after. He was so used to her being a force of unflappable willpower and leadership, seeing her just be a person who gets piss drunk to drown her sorrows was novel. Rolan sat next to her, amongst a small nest of pillows and blankets Alfira and Lakrissa had put up there when they first got to the city. Tav looked out at the water. 

“I wanna go swimming.”

“I think the Chionthar is only slightly safer than a cursed lake,” he replied. “Best stay on land.”

“No fun.”

Despite her attempts at lightning the mood everything felt off. She leaned her chin on the stone wall that she sat in front of. The bottle in her hand precariously tipped. 

“I felt that quake earlier, your doing?”

“killed a Bhaalspawn.” She said plainly. “Stole a netherstone. Brain is getting restless.”

If anyone else had strung those words together it would have been utter nonsense. 

“Thats good, isn’t it? You ought to be celebrating.”

“No,” she shook her head slowly. “No celebrating.”

“What happened?”

“Bhaalspawn bitch took Yenna,” she sniffed. 

The little girl they had picked up in Rivington. Rolan had yet to meet her, but she had been their newest addition. Rolan recalled being horrified that they allowed a child in their camp, given their circumstances. He thought it might not be a good idea to bring that up, just then.

“Is she alright?”

“Physically? Sure.”

It was quiet again. He heard her breathing pick up, a wet swallow. 

“They made her eat her fucking cat.” She spat, voice cracking. “She’s ten years old. Lost her mother, and all she had was Grub. They took her from right under my nose. Killed the damn cat and made her eat it.” 

When he looked over he saw tears, his heart stuttering. Half unsure what to do in the face of such a horrifying thing to imagine and half desperate to hold her. 

“Everywhere I go,” she said distractedly, “there’s just blood and horror.” She pulled a long drink of wine from the bottle. “And everyone’s fucking lost it in this city. Gale wants to become a God, and we all know it’s just to get back at Mystra — they ought to call her the bitch queen — and just two days ago I had to talk Astarion out of  the right of ascension — 2000 people he was going to sacrifice!” She was ranting, hiccups and sobs breaking through every once in a while. “Karlach’s given up. Shadowheart’s parents — we looked for them and she  fought so hard and they’re just gone. Lae’zel wants me to make a deal with a devil, and poor Wyll,” she sniffled. “His dad — he — and Mizora that cunt! We have to find his dad.” She had her head in her hands. “There’s still one more netherstone, we have to get the hammer, then there’s the brain.”

“You need to breathe,” he reached out. 

“I’m not meant to do this!” She yelled suddenly. “I’m not — I’m supposed to take over my mum and dad’s stupid pub, I’m supposed to be at home, with my little sister and my mother.”

“Tav,” he tried to interrupt.”

“Instead I’m here, and I’ve got this thing in my head and they want time to lead them — and I don’t know why! I’m nothing — no one — I don’t know what to do —“

“Sweetheart, stop,” he pleaded, reaching out to her. “You’re alright.” 

“I’m not,” she choked. “I can’t, Rolan. I can’t do this.” 

“You can,” he said firmly. He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him, “you’re going to sleep this off, and tomorrow you will infuriate me by accomplishing the impossible — as you always do.” 

She was at least calming down, breathing coming easier even if fresh warm tears spilled out of her eyes onto his hands. His thumb gently wiped them away, careful of his nails. 

“You didn’t see what I saw out there in the cursed lands, or even in the tower. You may be an idiot but you’re a capable idiot. If anyone can save the city, it’s you and your freak show of friends.” 

She smiled, a soft laugh nothing more than a breath escaping her lips. Rolan had a sinking feeling he was in over his head, with the way she still looked so lovely to him; face puffy, drunk and still covered in gore he thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. His thumb gently rubbed the skin of her cheek, and she closed her eyes, seeming to have rid herself of all the tears she could and now seeming calmer. 

They sat like that for a while. She breathed and came back to herself, he contemplated how awful he had been to her before. Tav was larger than life, but even she was only flesh and blood. The weight on her shoulders was more than he could even imagine. He’d never been more sure about his decision to offer his help when the time came, anything to lighten her load. 

 For a moment he thought she might have passed out until she spoke. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” 

Rolan felt struck by lightning by the change of subject. “You — do you want me to kiss you?”

Tav opened her eyes, albeit somewhat blearily she smiled mischievously. “Don’t be dumb,” she said, “you know I do.”

“I do not know that,” he said defensively. 

“Well now you do,” she leaned forward, her hands still curled into his robes. Her eyes slid shut again and Rolan tilted his head and leaned in, unable to resist the magnetic force that she seemed to emanate as their lips came closer. 

Her breath smelt so strongly of wine, he suddenly outstretched his arms to keep her at a safe distance. “You’re drunk,” he scolded. Whether it was her or himself he was scolding, was unclear. 

“Yes.” She nodded and then seemed to get dizzy from the motion

“We should get you to bed.” 

“Oh?”

“Stop it,” he tried not to laugh, but it didn’t work. “You’re going to bed to sleep.” 

“That isn’t fun.” 

“I’m not fun,” he reminded her. “I’m a prick with a stick up my arse, as my sister so kindly put it.” 

“Sorry, Rolan,” Tav said seriously, “wasn’t paying attention. Whose prick is going in whose arse? Because m’not equipped — I guess we could buy one but at this hour?“

“Bed!” Rolan said immediately. 

“No,” she whined, “I’m sleeping up here.”

“You are not.”

“I am,” she said, draining the last of her bottle only to have it yanked away from her. “You can’t carry me down the ladder.”

It was said petulantly, with a singsong voice and a cackle of laughter afterwards, but she was right. Rolan grabbed at the pillows and blankets Alfira had snuck up and threw together a makeshift bed. He  shoved at her shoulder until she laid back and she sighed happily, turning onto her side. 

“I like when we get along.” She said in a quiet voice.

“Me too.” 

After a while he laid on the ground. His feet faced her head and there was a safe amount of distance, in case anyone found them. He didn’t need her friends getting the wrong idea if they found them, he was already sure Astarion wanted to kill him. 

He felt something pulling at one of his horns and his eyes slid open. Tav was over him, trying to lift his head. 

“What are you doing?”

“Pillow,” she said plainly. “Head up.” 

He allowed her to place one under his head, and then rested back. When she laid back down, her fingers brushed against him. Barely noticeable, only The back of her knuckles pressed against his. He curled one finger around hers and she did the same. As he looked down, even in the darkness her arms still had marks from whatever had happened when she put on that ring in the tower. 

After a few days with no other side effects, they had all assumed it had been some kind of magic attachment that hadn’t taken full hold. The lines were thin, barely there, but he considered what it could have been. After all the work that had to be done at the shop, it had slipped his mind to research it. At least now he had something to do to keep his mind off of her running to infiltrate the new archduke’s home and murder him. 

“Why didn’t you come?” Her voice interrupted his thoughts. 

“What do you mean?”

“Gale wanted to teach you,” she mumbled, “and I… have that bottle for you.” 

Things had happened so fast, getting Cal and Lia settled, being thrust into owning not just a massive home but a very popular magical goods shop had made him forget that night entirely. He had made it all the way to the door of the Elfsong, skin still stinging from Lorroakan’s ‘training’ just the hour before. 

“I got as far as the front door,” he said, “and turned around.” 

“Why?”

“I was… overwhelmed.” 

“Oh.” 

He said nothing in response and after a few moments he heard her start to snore. With a sigh he settled in and closed his eyes. The stone roof was a poor substitute for his new large, exceedingly comfortable bed in the tower. Leaving her side seemed far from worth it to sleep in his own bed, even if she did snore.

Thank you so much for reading!

Next Chapter

[katreneebug]

I'm Okay (Trust Me) (Part 1/3)

Summary: Defeating Rapheal, and subsequently obtaining the Orphic Hammer, had gone exceptionally well. At least in comparison to how things usually go. However, as the companions move forward with their plans of parasitic liberation, Astarion can’t help but notice that their leader, and his lover, isn’t quite herself. Despite Tav’s assurances, the vampire spawn can tell that the events befalling The House of Hope still haunt her in more ways than one.

Parings: Tav x Astarion, Minor Shadowheart x Lae'zel

Warnings: Explicit content, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Dubious Consent, Sexual Coercion, Slight Victim Balming, Sexual Trauma, Eventual Smut

A/N: I decided to write this after I got through the House of Hope on my first playthrough. At first I was really excited at the prospect of getting to bed an incubus in the game but after everything was done I kind of felt off about the whole thing. Especially given that the player, after deciding not to fight, is given the choice to either let Haarlep use their image to have sex with a bunch of strangers or straight up die. It hit a little too close to home in regard to my own sexual trauma and how that has affected my self-esteem, relationships, and mental health.

I want to stress that there are some aspects of the story that don't match with the gameplay. An example of this would be going beyond the party size. You can pretend that this story is based on that no-limit companion mod lol.

Link to AO3: Here

            No last-minute begging had left Rapheal’s lips when Karlach raised her axe above him. The fact that it had been the final stroke came as a surprise to Astarion and, based upon the silence that drenched the room, the others. Not too far behind her could hear Tav panting, her magic practically drained to its limits. In the peripheral of his eyes, he could see Shadowheart’s armor move up and down as she too sought to catch her breath.

            Hope, who appeared the most worn out of the bunch, stood frozen to her spot by the door. Karlach noticed her immediately and moved to check on her, weapon still sunk deep within Rapheal’s chest. Astarion took the opportunity to walk over to him, caution obvious in the way he gripped his dagger.  

            There was no final spook to be had, though. Rapheal was dead, eyes wide and mouth slightly a gape with no more theatrics left on his tongue.  Good Riddance, he thought. A smirk danced onto his lips as he decided it was okay to turn back towards his companions. Hope was no longer a statue, the erratic motions from before returned vigorously as she took in their victory.

            The memory of Cazador lying vanquished on the ground materialized in his mind. He brushed it away quickly as Tav’s eyes landed on himself. A half-smile was the most she could muster before Lae’zel garnered her attention, talks of the next step towards freeing Orpheus’ flew from the githyanki’s mouth in rapid, yet precise, order. The lines in Tav’s forehead creased as she let her friend speak. Deciding to take pity on his lover, Astarion moved to stand beside her.

            “—The Emperor will know of what we have done, we must act fast upon our return.”

            “I—”

            “Surely you can’t expect us to go straight into the undercity of Baldur’s Gate after quite literally killing a devil.” Lae’zel sharp glare snapped up to meet his eyes. “I for one am not doing anything till I’ve had time to clean up, all of this.” His hand, the one not resting centimeters away Tav’s lower back, motioned to the state of his armor. Rapheal and his friends had left the floors of the foyer dripping in all sorts of blood and guts and, while Astarion’s body was happily intact, his outfit begged to differ.

            “He’s right, we should get some rest before meeting with Voss.” Lae’zel’s head snapped to see Shadowheart approaching. “It would be foolish to confront a mind flayer and a devil on the same day.” Lae’zel didn’t reply immediately, though the answer for what they should do was clear, she was not any happier to admit it.

            “All right,” she spat. “Prepare for an early departure by dawn, I will not wait for anyone.”

            “Of course,” he hummed with a dismissive wave.

. . .

            “I’m just saying we should take some more time to discuss our next course of action.” Gale instinctively backed up as Lae’zel stalked his receding form. “It would be unwise to go in all wands blazing without considering the effect this might have.”

            “I am not leaving my Prince at the hands of a ghaik any longer.” Astarion had no interest in interfering on the wizard’s behalf. Watching the man sweat was more than amusing. “The only thing unwise would be for you to continue talking.”

            “What if freeing Orpheus leads to us losing our only protection from the absolute.” It was Wyll who stepped in between the two. No surprises there, the vampire thought. Lae’zel had burst through the doors of their room at the inn with an attitude ready to fight the next person who dared to go against her plans.

            “It will, I’ve already told you that freeing Orpheus will only result in him—”

            “Will someone please get the squid to shut up.” Astarion winced, feeling the pain of The Emperors telepathy within his mind. How lucky Halsin and Jaheira were to not feel such an annoying headache.

            “Gladly,” Lae’zel sneered.

            “There are still other issues that we need to address.” Halsin’s voice passed by Astarion from behind, he could feel the bear of a man coming closer to the group before passing the vampire all together to aid Wyll and Gale from the Lae’zel’s wrath. “Orin and Gortash are still alive, it would be best to get rid of them before going to the astral plane.

            “Agreed, we cannot allow the absolute to draw more power from the city. It’s time we faced them.” Halsin nodded an acknowledgement at Jaheira, her argument adding to the growing resistance.  

            Quickly the room devolved into a mass of bickering, Lae’zel mostly fighting alone on her side. It took Astarion a few moments to realize that there was something off about the whole scene. It stumped him briefly but the soft steps of someone else moving about in the background was the answer.

            “Not going to step in, dearest?” Tav jumped a bit as Astarion walked towards her, his back now to the group. “It’s very unlike you.”

            “It’s been a long day,” the bed bounced slightly as she dropped her pack onto it. “And I don’t feel like picking a fight with Lae’zel.” If only the rest were that smart, he thought. “She’ll see reason soon enough, anyways. We really do need to usurp Orin and Gortash while we can.”

            “I’m sure she will,” his lips curled. “Right after she breaks a couple of Gale and Wyll’s ribs, of course.”

            “Shadowheart will fix them up,” her body joined the bag as she sat down onto the covers. “Or Halsin, either way they’ll be fine.”

            “I love this newfound ‘compassion’ of yours,” he briefly glanced away, catching sight of a smaller person far from the argument occurring. Either Yenna was blissfully unaware or was doing a great job at pretending everything was okay. “I just wish you had acquired it earlier.” Then maybe they wouldn’t be stuck worrying about every little orphan who manipulated Tav’s kindness.

            “They’re adults, they can take care of themselves.” He raised an eyebrow at this. Was she really letting things go for once. “I’m tired and I want to sleep.” She wasn’t looking at him anymore, choosing to instead dig around into her bag that she never organized, even at his insistence.

            “Fair enough,” a level of trepidation lined his voice. Before he could ask if she was alright, a loud clang hit the floor behind him, silencing the bickering voices. He turned away instinctively, catching sight of Lae’zel stomping away towards the door. A dagger, no doubt previously aimed towards the other men, laid forgotten at Halsin’s feet.

            “Fine,” she spat, casting one last glance towards them before nearly kicking the door off its hinges. “Cowards, all of you.” With that, she was gone. Shadowheart moved a few steps, considering the possibility of going after her, before ultimately stopping. Even from her his spot, Astarion could see the way her jaw clenched, hands balled at her sides.

            The rest of them dispersed to their own spots in the room, silence hung in the air uncomfortably. Karlach’s, he noticed, took a moment to collect Lae’zel’s dagger. She rarely used such a small weapon in combat, opting for her painfully heavy sword and bow. The little thing glinted in the light briefly before the Tiefling went to place it neatly on Lae’zel’s bunk.

            Such a mess they were, he thought with a shake of his head.

. . .

            He tried not to stare too much at Tav. His own bed had been placed directly next to hers and it was becoming harder to ignore the way she shifted and squirmed under the covers. Sleep came easily to the girl, at least most of the time. Her experience with combat and adventuring was limited before the parasite, her body unuse to such strenuous work. She rarely complained, though. The only indicator that this was tough for her especially being how quickly she tuckered out at the end of the day.

            There was a chance that some of the chatter was keeping her up. The silence hadn’t lasted too long before Karlach, Shadowheart, and Jaheira set up some type of card game. They weren’t particularly loud, save for whenever Karlach gained the upper hand in the game. Gale had tried shushing her a couple of times before ultimately giving up. The book in his hands had eventually engrossed him enough to tune it all out.

            When moonlight began to seep through their windows, Tav snores still not filling the air, Astarion decided to forsake his own spot. Standing over her crumbled form brought back the memory of the first time he had attempted to drink her blood. The few nights before that had been increasingly painful as he watched her lie so sweetly under the stars. Over time she felt less like a person and more like a beautiful feast, all set out for him alone. It was a shock, looking back, how long he held out on partaking.

            Her reaction to noticing him looming over her this time around was much less frantic. A little bit of surprise played on her parted lips as she slowly sat up to speak. There was still a hint of innocence in her eyes whilst meeting his gaze. Scores of monsters and cultists had perished under her spells and blades and yet it didn’t jade her the way it would for other humans.

            So precious, he thought.

            “Is something wrong?” It came out as a whisper, her eyes glancing left to confirm that Wyll remained unmoving in his bunk.

            “I was actually just about to ask you that, darling.” He wasn’t as quiet as her, unafraid that the Blade of Frontiers would wake up easily. “You’ve been acting peculiarly since we got back, care to enlighten me?”

            “I told you I was tired,” she looked away. “It’s been a very long day.”

            “And yet you’ve been tossing and turning for nearly an hour.” He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling a little too much like a scolding parent than a partner.

            “I . . .” She trailed off, knees moving up to support her chest as she leaned forward. “There’s just a lot on my mind right now. Between the netherstones and Orpheus, it’s just overwhelming.”

            “Anything I can do to help,” the bed dipped as he took a seat. There was little space between the two of them now and a part of him buzzed pleasantly at the thought of pulling her into an embrace. They hadn’t been all that touchy as of late. His confession at Moonrise had practically halted most forms of intimacy between them. An outsider looking in wouldn’t have guessed how close the two of them were in comparison to the others. Feather light touches and the occasional hug made up most of the relationship now. Sometimes he would steal a kiss, a usually quick action that ended before Tav had much time to register the affection.

            They had on occasion shared a bedroll back when they were out in the wild. She’d curl up against his side, a hand resting on the part of his chest where his heart once beat. He’d count the constellations whilst listening to the change in her breathing, the obvious indicator that she had plunged into a deep sleep. There, hidden from Cazador and the absolute, a flutter would come and go underneath his ribs. Perhaps he wasn’t all that dead.

            “No, I’ll be okay.” She shook her head, hair rustling against the sides of her face. “Don’t worry about me, please.”

            “Easier said than done, my dear.” The little pout that appeared on her lips decided his next move for him. “Now, scout over.” Tav’s eyes widened, gaze snapping back up to his face. She was still for a few moments, studying his features with an intensity one might have for a major test.

            Little voices scrapped against the back of his mind as he exalted all his control in keeping a calm demeanor. Any doubt or uncertainty would have Tav pushing him away. She was always so concerned about his comfort. It was welcomed graciously most of the time but, as much as the sentiment warmed his icy body, it could also sting. He was not nearly as fragile as she seemed to think he was.

            She only puts up with you because she pities you.

            “O-Okay,” Astarion almost breathed out a sigh of relief when she complied with the request. He wasted no time in joining her under the covers, lest she change her mind at his reluctance.

            She was rigid against him, even after he comfortably adjusted against the mattress. Instead of holding him, like she used to, Tav rolled over so that her back was facing him instead. Both of her hands clenched the sheets rather than his clothes. It unnerved him even more than the silence that passed between him.

            “You know,” he whispered. “I was afraid that your droopy mood had something to do with vanquishing our old ‘friend’, Rapheal.” Acidity coated his pronunciation of the devil’s name. Tav’s body twitched when she heard it, somehow tensing even more than before.

            “I’m glad he’s dead,” disdain leaked from her mouth as she sought to relax her body. “I wish I had cut out his tongue earlier, though. I can still hear his stupid, dramatic voice in my head.”

            “Perhaps I can take your mind off of it?” The sly words fell out of Astarion’s mouth without him even having a chance to think it over. Flirtatiousness was an instinct after two centuries and getting rid of it wasn’t something easily undone. A heaviness set within his chest, an all too familiar panic that he may have gone too far. She shook in his grasp and that heaviness gave way to bitter bile. Swallowing it down with a cough, Astarion placed a hand on her shoulder. “Forgive me, I didn’t—”

            “It’s fine.” Her statement, spoken quicker than before, felt like a cut. “I’m not in the mood, anyways.”

            Not in the mood for you, at least.

            She thinks you’d break under her touch.

            Besides, why would she want you when she just had him.

            He inhaled sharply at the memory conjured up by the swirling voices. He would have kicked himself for carelessness had she not been lying next to him. Amid their quest within the House of Hope, Astarion had been able to push down their interaction with Rapheal’s favorite toy. Now, with her distant yet so close, he could no longer.

. . .

            “I beg your pardon,” the snap of Astarion’s voice rang within the chamber. The marble floor beneath his feet nearly crumbled under the stomp of his boots. A hand kept him from getting closer to the bed before them. “Would you like to repeat that little request?”

            “I said,” the incubus’ eyes looked only at Tav. “Take off your clothes.”

            “Uh, why?” Her voice bordered on cracking. It was her fingers that kept him from throwing a dagger between Haarlep’s eyes.

            “Do you or do you not want my help,” playfulness dripped from the incubus as he rolled softly against the covers of the mattress. “I at least deserve something from you, seeing as you’re asking for so much.”

            “And you’re asking for an arrow through the throat.” Astarion grumbled, fingers flexing and ready for Tav to give the orders to fight.

            “Hypothetically, what were to happen if I did take off my clothes.” His jaw clenched as the human woman spoke slowly.  

            “Well,” he drawled, lips curling in a cat like smirk. “Let’s just say it’s a surprise.”

            “A surprise from an incubus? I wonder what that could possibly be,” Astarion’s mocking voice did little to faze the other man.

            “No need to be so jealous, little spawn.” The grip on Astarion’s shoulder tightened, Tav accurately guessing how restraint was practically peeling away from him. “I have only the best of intentions in mind.”

            “Oh really—”

            “Gives a moment, if that’s okay.” Tav began to pull against him, trying to bring him back towards the group. Haarlep nodded his head which was answer enough for Tav to motion for the companions to form a huddle of sorts.

            “We’re killing him, right?” An unsureness plagued Tav’s face as she shied away from his intense gaze.

            “Honestly, taking up his offer might be the best option.” He made a point to glare at Shadowheart. She looked only at Tav though, not bothering with the pissy vampire. “As much as I want to avoid it, a fight with Rapheal is practically inevitable at this point. Especially if we go through with freeing Hope. I’d rather we save up our resources for that fight instead of wasting it on him.” She motioned towards the incubus with a jerk of her chin.

            “If it were me, I’d rather gut him.” Lae’zel chimed in before Astarion could retort. “But I am not the one he is asking for.” Her gaze fell to Tav.

            “I’m completely fine with ripping his annoying face off,” Karlach glanced back at the Rapheal look-a-like. “But yeah, it’s up to you soldier.”

            “I mean,” the human’s face contorted as pros and cons weighed back and forth within her mind. “If we go against him, who knows what other cronies he’d bring into the fight. Plus, it can make it that much harder to get back to the hammer in time.”

            She wants to say yes to him, the offer is rather tempting.

            “Exactly, I say we get the hammer first with as little complications as possible.” Very few times had Shadowheart’s neck looked so perfectly ready to be ripped out in Astarion’s eyes.

            “Why don’t you take her place, if the choice is so easy.” She rolled her eyes at him.

            “I don’t see why not,” her lips curled up in a bitter smirk. “I’m sure he’s all sorts of fun.”

            “Such a tempting offer,” Haarlep’s voice broke into the group. Apparently, the huddle was pointless if he could hear everything from his side of the room. “But I have my sights set on your little leader. She’s stirred up Rapheal quite a bit with how passionately she denied his deal.”

            “Pity,” the former Sharran mumbled.

            “Now if you lot are somehow able to survive this little trip, I’d be more than happy to pencil you in for a play date, half-elf.” A silent chuckle left Shadowheart’s lips as she shook her head. Astarion couldn’t tell if she’d be against such an offer in the future.

            “Fight or Fornicate, make up your mind before we’re out of choices.” Lae’zel turned back to Tav as the human seemed even more indecisive than before.

            “I . . .” Her eyes met his then, as the rest of the group waited in bated breath for an answer. They stared at each other as each passing second felt even slower than the last.

            She wants your permission.

            You’ve left her longing for too long.

            The answer to her needs is practically begging to relieve her.

            He could do so, so much more for her.

            She’s tired of waiting for you to get a grip. So tired of holding your pathetic hand.

            I’d be cruel to deny her such an experience.

            “. . . It’s up to you, my love.” Throwing the façade of acceptance on his face wasn’t too hard to do. He had done it so many times before, he had practically become a master of it at this point. “I won’t hold it against you, whatever you decide.”

            She was quiet, facing smoothing at as her decision was made within her mind. She turned back to Haarlep first, prompting the others to do the same. Astarion, though, kept most of his attention on her and not the creature he wanted to eviscerate.

            Something inside him shattered as her lithe fingers went to the hem of her shirt. The realization that she was about to disrobe in front of Haarlep and their friends hit him like a pommel strike. The voices in his head were twisting wildly within his mind and somehow, throughout the horror of it all, he found himself bitterly thankful for Tav’s choice in today’s team.

            It was no secret that all their companions had, at one point, made a pass at Tav. Her rejection of them always had a sliver of satisfaction rolling up his spine. In Karlach, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel’s case, they had taken her no rather well. It was easy enough for the later two who had begun ‘sparring’ away from the eyes of the camp sometime after their interaction with the creche. Their excuse was that they needed more space to fight and that they didn’t want to ‘accidentally’ hurt someone during the intense training.  

            Hate sex is the best sex, Tav had muttered one night as she and Astarion caught the two women glaring at each other whilst walking off into the woods. He had curled his lips at the scandalous statement, deciding silently to remember the tidbit for a possible future tryst.

            Karlach, Astarion realized, was just happy to have the embrace of a friend. Romance had been easily forgotten by the Tiefling. The same couldn’t be said for Gale and Wyll. They had assured her that it was alright before and Tav had taken it at face value. Astarion knew better though, could see it in the way their eyes followed her. When she spoke, they would glance at her lips and look away as if caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar. The vampire spawn sometimes basked in the longing he could see within them every time he displayed even the smallest of Tav’s reciprocated affections.

            “Could you all go guard the door,” snapping out his trance, Astarion watched as Tav put a pause on removing her clothes. “The last thing we need is Rapheal waltzing in.”

            “Of course,” Shadowheart was the first to comply. Lae’zel quirked an eyebrow for a moment before leaving as well. He could feel Karlach looking back and forth between him and Tav. Reluctantly she placed a hand on his shoulder and encouraged him to walk away with her. Though her engine had been fixed, her palm was practically scalding against the thin fabric of his disguise.

            “We’re just across the room,” he murmured. “In case you need us.”

            With a nod of Tav’s head, Astarion finally complied with Karlach’s touch. The two turned around to trail after the other members of their party. He focused on the echo of the grand faucets flowing hot water into the pool between them. Anything to keep from catching the sound of whatever surprise the incubus had in mind.

            “You okay?” Astarion growled lowly at the question. He knew that Karlach’s concern was genuine, deep down, yet he couldn’t help but feel only irritation.

            “Of course I am.” He sneered; he wasn’t the one stuck staring at Rapheal’s stupid face. He considered telling them to not talk to him, as he was in no mood. Yet the little chatter that passed between the other three was something to hold onto. Very little went by the doorway of the boudoir, just a couple of miserable waifs limping about. A wonderful reminder of what might happen to them sooner rather than later.

            “—Must we waste time freeing her.”

            “Are you suggesting we leave Hope chained to this asshole.” He didn’t want to look behind him to watch their argument.

            “The longer we stay here, the more likely we are to join her.” Shadowheart’s voice was farthest away. A little too far for his liking, more likely to see what was happening past the pool.

            It must be quite a show, maybe she’ll tell you all the gory details later.

            Or maybe Tav will, how long will it be before his name passes those luscious lips.

            She won’t want you after this.

            What’s the point of a pretty face when that’s all it is. She’ll get sick of looking at it when she realizes she could have more.

            He didn’t know how much time had passed when Shadowheart’s voice cut through the mess in his head.

            “It looks like they’ve stopped,” gods he was going to throw up. “Come on.”

            Luckily the half-elf was correct. By the time the four of them had come to the other end of the room, Haarlep was already off the bed and looking starkly different from before. Instead of the near perfect imitation of Rapheal, he had shifted into a woman. An improvement, yes, but still too like the devil in looks. Tav was shimmying her shirt back on, something black and tight coverd the rest of her body. She hadn’t worn it before.

            Haarlep, noticing their return, locked eyes with him particularly. The ends of his lips twisted higher than they had before. In the blink of an eye the new feminine form shifted into something all too familiar. Instead of the Rapheal look alike, a copy of Tav now smirked at him.

            To his utter displeasure, the incubus was gone before the shock could lift. Tav didn’t waste time in collecting the contents of the safe. The portrait of Rapheal broke in half under her hands as she pried it off the wall. It was tossed unceremoniously across the floor. If only they had time to destroy more of the devil’s tacky décor.

            “Let’s go,” Tav was striding past them. Determination set within the crease of her forehead. There were questions on the tongue of each one of them. Ultimately their curiosity was left unspoken.

[myheartismadeofstars]

Dadstarion fic where Astarion adopts a dhampir baby that he found abandoned after she was believed stillborn.

He impulse rescues her and brings her back to camp hoping one of the others would help with her.

He has no parental instincts. He can figure out that he needs to feed her blood from time to time, but he knows nothing else. Other party members need to be the one to teach him.

Also all the other party members also adopt her lol

Astarion learns to be a dad by watching the others bond with her.

Wyll hums and dances with her, Gale straps her to his back and reads to her and cooks with her, Halsin makes her toys she's too young for and sleeps with her on his chest. Pretty much everyone takes turns feeding her blood too (Astarion is baffled by the fact that Gale's blood doesn't make her sick)

Astarion has unique parental struggles as well, not just referring to his trauma and the issues that causes, but he tries to copy Halsin by letting her sleep on his chest...and she screams because he doesn't have a heartbeat and so she feels abandoned. He can't keep her warm the way everyone else can, either.

But just the same his heart melts when she smiles at him for the first time. He talks to her in Elvish and in Common and she mimics him as best she can, the first time she says an actual word he can't contain his joy and kisses her face.

I think the only one who has as hard a time adjusting to having a baby at camp is Lae'zel. The Githyanki don't really have families the way many other races do. And this is a tiny half vampire half elf baby who can't do anything and depends entirely on others. It's really not in her nature to care for a baby.

Also yes Astarion's little one is determined to be a half elf. Certain party members tease him about actually being her father (but it's not possible for Spawn to father dhampir, and even if it were, they have to be well fed and Astarion wasn't. Also what's the likelihood of Astarion sleeping with a human woman within the last year who escaped and got pregnant? Pretty freaking slim especially how rare dhampir are)

[netherese-blorb]

For You

(View on ao3)

SFW (Teen) - Gale loves you more than anything. and isn’t that just terrifying.

None of you left the Shadowlands whole. Yet even among your ragged bunch, the shift you see in Gale has you worried.

It could just be your closeness that makes him stand out. Not that you don’t love the others, in their own ways. But you spent weeks studying Gale as the two of you danced your clumsy courting dance. If his shoulders sloped a hair lower than usual, or if the skin under his eyes darkened half a shade, you would notice.

Your knowledge is wasted, however, as even the least astute at camp could see that he wasn’t himself. At first, it was a general anxiety. He would flinch every time he saw the sky, as if he expected it to fall, or for a bolt to come down and smite him where he stood. Then, as he realized the ground beneath him wouldn’t give way, his dread turned to manic obsession: with the Crown of Karsus, and with you.

Through his unending monologues about the artifact’s potential, he couldn’t let you leave his sight. Not for a moment. In the rare times when you insisted on privacy, he would keep conversation through the door, or tent flap, or bush, working himself into an immediate panic if he felt it’d been too long since he heard you.

So far you’ve been more than willing to accommodate his attentions. You’ve been through a lot yourself, after all, and tending to him has been a welcome distraction.

But after defeating the Githyanki ambush, you know - he knows - it can’t go on like this.

You knew it was a risk, coming within melee range of a fully armored enemy. But the surprise attack didn’t give you time to prepare your ranged spells and your final target was weak enough that, if you were lucky, you could finish him off with one swing of your newly acquired magic sword.

But you weren’t lucky. Your unpracticed movements were clumsy and your shimmering blade skittered uselessly off of pristine silver armor, leaving you wide open for your foe’s much more experienced counterattack.

You heard Gale’s desperate shouts long before you registered the pain of the blow.

You turned to him as you staggered back and saw his twisted expression illuminated by the sparks growing between his hands.

Lightening Bolt. Your eyes dart to Shadowheart, who was struggling to maintain concentration through her own injuries.

And standing in the direct path of Gale’s attack.

He’s not looking at her. He doesn’t see. Nothing in his once-gentle face but blind fear and blind fury.

You manage to counterspell his move just before it can reach its unintended target. Shadowheart startles and whips around to Gale, who returns her horrified expression. With everyone, including your enemy, distracted, Astarion is able to deal a final sneak attack with his crossbow and put the battle to an end.

Little is said in the moments after it's over; a few healing words to stitch wounds back together, simple instructions to ensure loot is distributed, but the long walk back to camp begins and ends in silence.

It’s only hours later, when all of you are settled around the fire, that Astarion finally breaks the quiet tension.

“I still can’t wrap my head around what you could have possibly been thinking, Wizard.”

Having not found a wine to his liking this evening, he instead jangled a bottle of rum in his hand, using it to gesture with only some of his usual grace towards Shadowheart, “I trust you’re aware that’s our only healer you almost disintegrated.”

Shadowheart is still staring silently into the fire, sitting with her arms gently holding her knees to her chest.

Given the time he’d had to prepare, you’d expected Gale to have his most eloquent response at the ready. But only stammers came to him:

“I didn’t-” He thinks better of his phrasing, “Gods, there wasn’t -”

“He was just trying to protect me, Astarion,” You try to interject.

“Leaving you to protect us from him.” Shadowheart’s voice is quiet. She doesn’t look up from the fire.

Us , she said. Not me.

Astarion, in contrast, is all petulance and venom when he turns his focus on you. “Don’t you start. I refuse to endure another moment of your coddling, and I certainly won’t take lectures from the fool who thought to impress by playing with a sword she’s never used!”

He stands so he can look down at you, “Pretty a thing as it is, dear, access to your cunt is a pitiful excuse for friendly fire.”

“I think you’ve had enough.” Gale cuts in exasperatedly and stands, extending a hand toward the elf’s near-empty bottle.

Gale’s movements are slow and his words have no edge to them, yet for the briefest moment, you see panic flash across Astarion’s face. His familiar sneer quickly replaces it, but he makes no effort to have the last word. He shoves the rum into Gale’s hands before stalking off to his tent. Gale deflates and sighs sadly. As he sits, he offers the remnants of the bottle to Shadowheart, but she won’t meet his gaze.

For long minutes, there is nothing. The day’s second silence.

They’re afraid of him, you realize. Surely they know it was an honest mistake? It wasn’t like none of them had ever gotten caught in the crossfire of battle before. Every fighter in your group was guilty of the occasional reckless cleave attack. Hells, Shadowheart openly threatened Lae’zel at knifepoint and the two had talked it out by morning. And obviously, death is unpleasant, but with Withers always at hand, it’s hardly permanent.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Shadowheart.” Gale says, finally finding his words.

Shadowheart stands and looks strong, though her eyes are still unfocused.

“I know you are. Although I’m not of a mind to forgive quite yet. I just upended everything to escape My La-”

a breath.

“…Shar’s push towards darkness and pain. Yet you would have given me both today, left to your own devices. That can’t be fixed with a kind word.”

You see Gale's brows knit together. You watch the journey of his face as he makes the same realization you did, and keep the same arguments to himself.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I lost myself.”

That was the wrong thing to say, apparently. Shadowheart’s misty eyes suddenly focus and her quiet control slips ever-so-slightly.

“And what about before, in Moonrise? You were ready to take our lives into your own hands and blow us up with you. Did you stop because you considered for even a moment how desperately the rest of us wanted to live? Or just because she ,” her head tilts toward you but her eyes stay fixed on Gale’s, “told you to.”

She waits for him to respond, but all he can do is stare at her, then the ground, then you.

Shadowheart looks to you as well. “What happens next time? What happens if you aren’t there to stop him?”

There’s nothing you can say that would comfort them both. Not that was true, at least. You look between the two of them. Shadowheart, despite everything, is standing strong. Her fear burns hot, tempered by anger and passion. But Gale’s is frozen, threatening to shatter him.

So - in that moment, as forever - you choose him.

“I’ll always be there.”

You meet Gale’s eyes and give him a warm, tired smile. To your great relief, he returns it.

Shadowheart balls her fists at her side and breathes deep, a small tremble in her exhale as she fights her emotions back down.

“For all our sakes, I hope you’re right,” she says, resigned, before walking back to her tent as well.

Once the sound of footsteps fades, Gale takes your hand in his. A third silence falls.

It somehow feels longer than the other two combined, although no more than an hour could have passed. By the time Gale finally speaks, you’re laying with him in a joined bedroll by the fire and sleep is starting to darken the stars.

“I am the luckiest man in the world.”

You didn’t have any particular expectations of the first thing Gale would say to you. But still, that takes you aback. You give him a searching look.

You can see him trying to reorganize his thoughts. Clearly, he had already been several tangents away from the point before he began speaking.

“I would have doomed the world.” is where he chooses to begin again. “Not just this one. Every plane of existence was at risk. Every source of authority, every sense of morality I had told me that the only choice was to detonate the orb - end the Netherbrain then and there - no matter the cost. And yet I chose you.”

You feel yourself growing defensive. Does he regret the choice he made? Resent you for saving him? “They were wrong.” You say, sharply, “You knew they were wrong.”

He pushes air out his nose in an amused half-chuckle. His hand brushes through your hair. “No, my love, I didn’t know that. But it wouldn’t have changed my mind if they weren’t.”

You don’t understand what he means. You sit up and catch his eyes, hoping he’ll continue.

And he does, sitting up himself and returning your gaze intensely.

“If you had said to me, plainly ‘I want you to let the Netherbrain run rampant. I want you to make that choice, knowing it will destroy all that is known. For me.’ I would have done it. And if you had said ‘Use the orb. Raize the tower and every living creature in it - all your most cherished friends - for no other reason than I desire it.’ I wouldn’t have thought twice. Such is my love for you.”

Now it is your turn to chuckle. You are about to make a jab at his tendency toward dramatic overtures when he grasps your hand to recapture your attention. His voice is becoming more urgent. He needs you to understand.

“Today, with the Githyanki. Shadowheart is dear to me, and I would never wish to do her harm. But if you gave me the chance to try again, my actions would be the same. You were hurt and I would do anything, cut through anyone, to pay back a single mark that’s made on you.”

You run your thumb soothingly over his grasping hand and do your best to speak softly, trying to ease him out of the lather he’s worked himself into.

“Don’t say that, Gale. Don’t talk like you don’t care.”

“Caring is not the issue.” His eyes dart around as if the right words could be found floating in the air between you. “It’s this fear. Ever-present, gnawing, cloying fear.”

That brittle look returns to him. “I was ready to destroy myself for nothing more than the whisper of a chance at Mystra’s forgiveness. What chaos might I wreak if the one whom I love a thousand times more, is taken from me? I would commit follies Karsus could only dream of. I would rend the cosmos apart until consequence and reality turned to dust in my hand. Just to keep you near me, keep you safe.”

You try to reassure him as you did before. But you feel the chill beginning to claw at your heart as well. You’re afraid too, you realize. You’ve been afraid for him since the moment he was charged with his own sacrifice.

He doesn’t see. Your brilliant, stupid love.

You don’t notice your tears until he reaches up to brush them away. It feels odd, to be offered comfort by someone who needs yours so much more. But his body seems to soften as he tends to you.

“Fear has to be cruel.” You say, hoping it sounds reassuring rather than accusatory. “It whips at your back to get you to run faster. It’s selfish to keep you alive. Yours just needs some recalibration, let me help you! I promise you’re so much more than you imagine yourself to be.”

He shakes his head. He doesn’t see. But he smiles.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He brings you close to steal a quick kiss. “But you, my love - my beautiful, brilliant, shining north star - you are the best of us. If I am to live only by your guiding light, it would be an honor.”

No. No, you have to make him see.

“You weigh your worth against a handful of grand choices.” You begin, “Yet, with all you’ve been through, the greatest thing you’ve ever done is wake up every day and choose to live , despite your burdens. You say you live for me, but I don’t tell you to breathe and eat and put one foot in front of the other. Those are choices you make every moment and every one of them is a miracle!”

He stares at you in awed silence before you bring your lips back together. You pour into the kiss all your love and your dreams of a life he can choose for himself. It's many minutes before he finally pulls away.

“See? The luckiest man.” He says, a little breathlessly “I tell you I would do anything you asked, and your only request of me is kindness for myself.”

His hand moves to cradle the side of your head as he continues. “How deeply I want your words to be true. I suppose they must be, since you say so. Though that’s the crux of the issue, isn’t it? What then, would I be without you?”

“A good person.” You respond, “The best man I know.”

“I’ll allow that I may be someday, if you’ll permit me the time. I’d like to become the man you see in me. The best I can be, for-”

You interrupt him with one last kiss, stealing the words from his mouth. Maybe he still can’t see, not yet, but you will always be there to remind him: “For you. ”

[moonselune]

hello again! Hope your inbox isn’t too full. When you get to this, take your time btw, can we have a lil scene where gith!bard!dancer!tav and laezel head off to the tears w/ voss and orpheus and they like “hes a weird ass motherfucker—he’s dancing? What a dumb—oh my god he’s slaughtering—HOLY SHIT HES GUTTING—*SON OF A BITCH HES MASSACRRING*”

Aw I love this

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel x Gith!Bard!Dancer!reader | Look at him go

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The battlefield ahead would be unlike any other, a treacherous space teeming with Githyanki soldiers loyal to Vlaakith. Lae'zel was focused, her eyes alight with determination. By her side, you, her lover, prepared for the coming fight in your own unique way.

Kith'rak Voss and Prince Orpheus, both seasoned warriors, stood nearby, their expressions hardening as they took stock of the battlefield. They had already voiced their doubts about you considering your background as a bard and a dancer. They found your presence and profession strange for a warrior. You could almost hear their thoughts: A dancer? What use could he possibly be in battle?

As you all graced the battlefield on the legendary Tears of Selûne, you took a deep breath and began your routine. Music emanated from your lute, enchanted to play melodies that bolstered the spirits of your allies. You moved with grace, each step a precise and practiced motion that seemed to defy the urgency of war. Voss glanced at Orpheus, a skeptical look in his eyes.

"Is he… dancing?" Voss muttered, incredulous. Orpheus' brow furrowed, but he remained silent, waiting to see what would unfold.

Lae'zel stood by your side, her faith in you unwavering. She knew the depth of your skill, both in music and combat. As you danced, your movements began to change, growing sharper, more deliberate. The Githyanki soldiers approached, their weapons drawn, ready to cut down any who opposed them.

In an instant, your dance transformed. With a flourish, you spun, drawing hidden blades from your attire. The transition from dancer to warrior was seamless, almost mesmerizing. Your blades flashed in the light, and the first soldier fell, his throat slit before he even realized what had happened.

Voss's eyes widened. "What the—"

"Focus!" Lae'zel barked, slicing through another enemy, her movements perfectly synchronized with yours.

You continued your deadly dance, each step a calculated strike, each spin a lethal flourish. Your blades moved in a blur, cutting down enemies with a precision that left Voss and Orpheus speechless. The battlefield became your stage, the enemy soldiers your unwitting partners in this gruesome ballet.

Orpheus, finally shaken from his stupor, shouted orders to his troops. "Form ranks! Cover them!"

But you needed no cover. You moved through the ranks of the enemy like a phantom, your dance both mesmerizing and terrifying. The soldiers hesitated, their confidence wavering as they faced this unexpected whirlwind of death.

"He's… slaughtering them," Voss said, his voice tinged with awe and disbelief. "How is this possible?"

Lae'zel, amidst her own brutal combat, glanced at you with pride. "He is a bard, a dancer, and a warrior. Underestimate him at your peril."

Your blades continued their deadly arc, and soon the battlefield was littered with the bodies of your foes. The remaining soldiers, seeing the carnage, began to retreat, their morale shattered. You paused, catching your breath, the music of your lute still playing a haunting, victorious melody.

Voss approached, his expression a mix of respect and astonishment. "I've never seen anything like that. You… you truly are remarkable."

You sheathed your blades and gave a small, respectful bow, your eyes meeting Lae'zel's. She stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"We are victorious," she said, her voice filled with pride and affection. "Thanks to you."

Orpheus nodded, still processing what he had just witnessed. "Your skills are… unparalleled. We owe this victory to you, bard."

You smiled, knowing that you had earned their respect, which meant you couldn't help but add "And dancer, I didn't do all those years of schooling just to be called 'bard'"

Lae'zel elbowed you in the side, perhaps you had gone a bit far in testing their acceptance but you couldn't help but smile, oh this was going to be a fun revolution.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hope you all enjoyed this ! Semi sleep deprived whilst writing this so any errors please lmk xx - Seluney xoxo

[aldryrththerainbowheart]

Another BG3 companions appreciation post, this time after the tiefling party. (Updated ver.)

When I say I love all the companions what I mean is I love all their traits, even the negative ones.

I love Gale who flexed big words and magical knowledge and his connections to Mystra since day one. Call me crazy but without knowing the background I AM impressed by his achievements and knowledge. Of course, his ambition led him too close to the sun, and like the fabled Icarus, he fell. But he's trying to make amends. He's completely surrended to the idea of finding an empty lonely spot for himself and dying alone in excruciating pain and filled with regret. Not even once did it cross his mind that Tav or others would want to continue journeying with him after he confesses about the orb. The moment he told me about his cat I stared at the screen in disbelief because I knew I'm suck his di-

I love Lae'zel who could've killed me right away on the Nautiloid but instead shared all the information with me, helped me fight my way through, tolerated everyone else, and from what I've seen from others Githyanki is actually really nice. She never lets Shadowheart's sneers get to her, offers Gale to teach him to fight, and answers all questions Wyll asks her about her culture. I was genuinely surprised when she not only complied when I ordered her around during the interrogation of Zorru or the confrontation of the Githyanki patrol but also thanked me for stepping in. Her honest, no-nonsense attitude is so refreshing in the story where everyone has secrets and you always know only half of the information if any at all. Everyone in the camp is hiding something from Tav except her. Say what you want but with Lae'zel, what you see is what you get and I really, really like that.

I love Shadowheart because she tries to be a bad guy but that just isn't her. Despite her church's teachings and her secretive and prickly attitude. At the end of the day, she's just a lonely, scared, and lost young woman who was put on a dangerous mission and is expected to deal with it alone. I don't know much about her yet but it's clear from her talks about Sune and various scriptures I found in the game about Dark Justiciars and clerics of Shar... and in all those stories, when they finally got the recognition of their goddess or they've completed their task, all that awaited them was emptiness... That's no way to live for Shadowheart. I can see the small glimpses, just like in Lae'zel, of desire, curiosity and so much want. She was forced to live in a place that forbade any individuality or anything except blind obedience. To just be a pawn for the big guy. But both she and Lae'zel could be so much more than that. Drinking up everything the world has to offer. I really wish that for them.

I love Wyll because...it's Wyll?!? I cannot stress enough how much I am fond of characters that are just good, kind, and selfless. I never get tired of heroic characters who honestly are in it just for helping people. Wyll was living a life of leisure and could be the prodigal son for the rest of his life. Instead, he picked up his sword, donned his stupid superhero name, and went on saving lives. He even went as far as making a deal with the devil just so he could be the hero of the people, not because he enjoyed the fame but because of his ever-present need for charity. He doesn't let anything, not even the tadpole or Mizora get in his way. He could've been one of those Martyrs who blindly follow the black-and-white definition of good and bad, killing Karlach right away. But he spared her, even if all it gained him was punishment. There's something so pure about him in the way he just wants to believe. I'm pretty sure he saw his fair share of fucked up shit while adventuring but he still wants to uphold these ideals of heroism. The boyish chuckle when I insisted that I wanted to dance with him... I'm not smiling like an idiot you do!

I love Astarion not for being the seductive vampire fantasy I thought him to be, but for the absolute chaos gremlin menace he truly is. He's the orange cat, the possum screaming at you from a garbage can, the raccoon hugging a chewed piece of moldy bread. His snark is impeccable, and his over-the-top mannerisms never fail to make me grin like a maniac. I'm strictly good-aligned but I watch him run around causing Situations and I'm like "Yes, you do that sweetheart. You deserve it." There are already many long detailed posts that describe shit he's been through so I'll only say this. I never pitied him or felt sorry for him. I admire him. Sure his path to recovery is nothing short of a mess. He hasn't had much chance at a good ending. But he took every fight kicking and screaming, not willing to give up and he has my respect for that. Because sometimes hope comes in the form of spite and anger. I love watching him rediscover himself at all points in life. I love Astarion the way he is (little shit) while simultaneously believing he can get better, and if that's wrong I don't wanna be right.

Ugh. I'll edit this later and other companions, I'm too tired now.