#all I know on that topic is from reddit of all places
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heloflor · 4 months ago
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Out of curiosity, do you have any headcanons on Cosmo’s father before he died? I think in one of your posts, you said he was kind of an enabler? I haven’t seen that in other people’s works, so I found that interesting
While I do have headcanons about his relationships with his family (so wife and sons) which I’m going to share here, I unfortunately don’t really have any ideas about more personal stuff, as in what kind of person he was, what was his job if he had one etc. Papa Cosma as I call him is a character I simply don’t care enough to put much thoughts on. I’m basically fridging this man.
That being said yeah I do have some ideas for his relationships with his family so here it is! (1.2k words below)
Starting with Mama Cosma, as you say I did mention him being an enabler. Thing is, I see the two of them as remaining married up until Papa Cosma’s death. And given the kind of person Mama Cosma is I don’t see ways for them to be “happily” married unless Papa Cosma tried to justify his wife’s behavior.
Now there could be other ways to look at it but I’m not the biggest fan of those. For example you could say Mama Cosma hid her true nature until his death but given they were possibly together for thousands of years, and since she has no issues showing who she is to everybody else, I don’t see this happening.
Likewise there’s the possibility of him being scared of her and only staying for the kids, with Mama Cosma possibility threatening him due to having the strongest magic and the means to take everything in the divorce, but this idea makes me a bit uncomfortable. Also I don’t really see why he would still accept to sleep with her enough times to have a second child if he hated her/was afraid of her.
So yeah, the way I see it Papa Cosma genuinely loved his wife and as a result had a tendency to excuse her behavior, even if he himself often had to walk on eggshells around her. He would for example say that her angry outbursts aren’t that bad, that maybe Schnozmo should make less noise if he wants to avoid getting yelled at, that she’s a sweetheart when she’s in a good mood. Basically the usual enabler stuff.
Tbh the fact Papa Cosma doesn’t realize just how bad the situation is would very likely be indicative that he didn’t grow up in the healthiest environment, so I guess you could add this to how his personal life was? Maybe he had abusive parents which led him to normalize this kind of behavior, hence why he married someone like Mama Cosma? 🤔
So overall, the relationship between the Cosma parents wasn’t exactly healthy, with Mama Cosma running the show with very limited push-back from her husband. Hell maybe Papa Cosma would draw the line at physical abuse (including using magic for physical abuse), which Mama Cosma barely uses anyways, hence why she could get away with the verbal abuse her husband didn’t call her out for. And if she did physically abuse Schnozmo, she’d do it behind Papa Cosma’s back, and if the kid says something she’d justify/downplay her actions, which her husband would buy.
Now Papa Cosma’s relationship with Schnozmo would be a bit more complicated. Thing is, I see Papa Cosma as the more involved parent and I could definitely see him as a very loving father, but also he lets his wife get the final say in a lot of things including their son being grounded for trivial reasons. The most he could do would maybe be to shorten some of those groundings, or if some of said groundings have to do with Schnozmo being forced to skip a meal, he’d still bring his son some food “in secret” (not sure how secretive it would be, maybe Mama Cosma just wouldn’t care that much about whether or not the kid eats when grounded, just as long as she doesn’t have to see his face at the moment).
So I think their relationship would be a mixed bag. Papa Cosma is the more involved and loving parent so Schnozmo would be closer to him, but at the same time he’d be frustrated by the way his father lets his mom get away with everything. Though at a younger age Schnozmo would probably blame his mom for it, thinking his dad’s just a happy idiot for not noticing anything’s wrong. But had Papa Cosma lived longer, Schnozmo probably would have still ended up acting out for attention as a teen, becoming a con artist and cutting contact with both of his parents. He was definitely more forgiving of his father’s shortcomings as a child due to seeking out any form of affection from a parental figure, but as an adult he wouldn’t let it slide.
Also writing this down is making me realize that I’m basically making Schnozmo be more like his mom, having her wit and manipulation, while Cosmo is more like his dad, having a bigger heart and being naive. Not sure how Cosmo having more in common with his dad would play out in how his mom and brother treat him though. Like this could definitely be one of the reasons why Mama Cosma is like thatTM, but I don’t know how Schnozmo would be influenced by it when interacting with Cosmo. At the very least Schnozmo would have a similar “happy idiot” mentality towards Cosmo growing up, given what we see in his episode.
Speaking of Cosmo, I feel like the main thing Papa Cosma felt about him was concern. He was not expecting an overpowered baby, and being the magically weakest member of this family didn’t help. This man was just not equipped to deal with such a powerful baby, which could explain why the one flashback we have of him in the show features both him and Mama Cosma looking after Cosmo.
On that note, Mama Cosma seems like someone who loves babies so from Cosmo’s birth she likely was the one mainly taking care of him, as in she wanted to take care of him and was being possessive about him so her husband kept his mouth shut and let her have it. That doesn’t mean Papa Cosma didn’t bond with Cosmo, he absolutely did and loved his baby, it’s just that Mama Cosma was spending more time with Cosmo, and the fact she was slightly more able to handle the kid (not by much tough) helped.
Tbh maybe during that short time between Cosmo’s birth and the fly incident, Papa Cosma was spending more time with Schnozmo since Mama Cosma was basically ignoring him to focus on her new baby, both because baby and because op magic. This could be a reason why Papa Cosma’s death impacted Schnozmo, as he felt like he lost the one adult he could rely on just as said adult was being a better parent.
But yeah, in the end Papa Cosma loved Cosmo and spent time with him whenever he could, preferably with his wife around to help with Cosmo’s unstable magic, but his time with his baby was short-lived. Had he been around longer, I feel like Mama Cosma would have been less clingy of Cosmo since she had her husband for that, especially given that Cosmo was able to put some boundaries (ditching her to get married).
I do wonder if maybe Cosmo’s childhood might have been a bit easier, if only because Papa Cosma would be better at comforting him (and meaning it) than his wife. Like Papa Cosma would have wanted to help Cosmo with his magic but unlike his wife wouldn’t see his son as the problem.
On top of that Cosmo probably wouldn’t have cut contact with his mom, if only so he can still interact with his dad. Idk I feel like once married Cosmo might try to hint to his dad that maybe staying with Mama Cosma isn’t the smartest choice. Schnozmo maybe tried to tell him as well but gave up quickly enough. Then again Cosmo can be pretty naive and not realize just how bad his mom is, and who knows maybe Mama Cosma would have been more fine with Cosmo getting married, though she’d probably still make a lot of passive-aggressive comments.
So yeah, that’s all I’ve got for Papa Cosma. Hope it’s enough!
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covenha · 3 months ago
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Synopsis: seonghwa harnesses the power of manifestation to get himself a girlfriend. Pairings: Simp!seonghwa x fem! reader Genre: crack, fluff, just seonghwa being a silly goofy guy Warnings: witchcraft technically? astrology is also mentioned WC: 1577 a/n: another self-indulgent fic is done! wrote this after i finished an exam so read at your own risk. i might right more bonus blurbs for this but who knows. this is a piece of fiction so it does not reflect who the characters are irl. please read the warnings carefully! and as always, reblogs and feedback are very much appreciated 🫶
Simp!hwa had been content with silently pining over you. That is until one day he asked for a sign from the universe if he should confess. He was walking down the streets of his neighborhood while on his way to school with a little skip in his step, excited to see you. He was nearing Mrs. Nesbit’s house, an old lady with a splotchy memory but a kind heart. He stops to wave at her as she sways back and forth on the rocking chair on her porch. Then, as if she read his mind she goes, “Hurry up or you’ll miss it!”
Was this it? Was this the universe finally telling him to shoot his shot with you and confess his profound love for you? 
Well, the answer was no. Mrs. Nesbit was referring to the bus two blocks away ready to leave Seonghwa’s delusional ass behind. But it’s fine. He didn’t really care. All he really cared about was figuring out how to get you to fall in love with him so that you guys grow old together and live out your best lives with your two cats and moss ball babies. 
Now, Seonghwa knew that he had to approach this from a proactive standpoint. Sure, you and him have been friends since both of your awkward emo teen phases but he really wanted to cement in his chances with you. So he turned to the one place he knew he could get somewhat decent love advice from; Reddit. And with the wise words of Wefishyfishy98 he knew what he had to do. If he really wanted this he needed to use the power of manifestation. 
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Simp!hwa wore your hair tie on his hand with pride. He read somewhere on twitter that girls liked to “mark their territory” with things like this and he grew weak at the knees thinking about you staking your claim on him. (Of course, in a completely normal and non-a/b/o kind of way.) I mean isn’t this such a boyfriend thing to do? He was clearly using the power of manifestation or whatever that fish guy said on Reddit. 
And this is why, when summer grew closer and the weather grew warmer, Seonghwa absolutely did not want to return it to you. 
“Hwa, C’mon it’s hot and I don’t want my hair sticking to my neck.” 
“Look, I can get you a new set of hair ties! Here, look at these cute ones I found on Etsy.” He tried to distract you with some cute kuromi hair ties he just found. Jongho is just silently observing the interaction between the both of you. 
You found it weird that he refused to give it to you even after you pestered him to but you decided to just give up and tough it out. And those ties on Etsy were kinda cute. 
“Fine. I guess the weather isn’t so bad today. What are you even doing on Etsy anyway?” you try to take a peak at whatever Seonghwa is looking up on his phone to which he quickly turns it off and puts it screen down on the table. 
“Nothing!” You seem a little taken aback by this. “Just… looking for plants for my… aquarium.”
“You mean your aquarium filled with moss balls… a plant. You want to get plants for your plants?” you blink at him. 
“Technically they’re algae.” Jongho butts in. 
“Right…. Well, at least you’re passionate about your moss balls?” you trail off. 
Seonghwa breathes a sigh of relief as Jongho nods on to you changing the topic to something about your mother’s extensive cacti collection. He opens up his phone again and clicks the order on his Etsy cart. 
“I hope this works.” He thinks to himself. 
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That same night, Seonghwa started wracking his brain trying to think of something else that he could do that was “boyfriend coded”. And after much deliberation while staring at the ceiling, it finally hits him. She should be my lock screen! I mean nothing screams boyfriend like a cute candid picture as my lock screen. 
So, with this in mind, he scrounges through his gallery looking for a good photo of you to put as his lock screen. Then he spots the perfect candid of you in his living room sitting on the floor with lego pieces scattered all around the floor trying to assemble his lego death star with him. You aren’t looking at the camera, instead you look completely locked in on building the superweapon of the Empire with him. He stares at the image with a warm feeling spreading throughout his body. Without even realizing it he’s smiling like an idiot at his screen and he buries his head on his pillow and screams into it while kicking his feet on his mattress. 
That night he dreams of a distant future with you. One where he can call you his. Oh, and of course you can’t forget your two cats Lily and Bongo, and his ever growing collection of marimo balls.  
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A week and a half later, he’s checking his phone every few minutes and then looking at the front door waiting to see if the delivery truck has arrived. Today was your birthday and the gift that he had bought you was running dangerously late. Which is why when he hears a truck nearing the property he all but zooms off the living room couch and to the front door. He accepts the package from the delivery man and quickly unboxes it. 
“It’s perfect.” he thought, smiling to himself as he delicately put it in a bag.
Later that day, as he walks you home just in time for you to have dinner with your family he surprises you with the gift. 
“Wha- Hwa? I thought we weren’t doing gifts this year?” you say as you accept the small paper bag from him. 
“Well, I saw this and I just couldn’t not get it for you.” he just smiles at you shyly as you look at him, surprised at the gesture. 
“Now, I have to get you a gift worth two birthdays next year.” you joke. 
“You’re the best gift life has to offer.” he thinks. But he shakes his head, a dumb smile on his face. “Open it.” he motions to the gift. 
You open and find a couple kuromi hair ties, just as promised. But also, a jewelry box with a bracelet inside. It had a dainty gold chain and a baby pink stone in the middle. 
“Hwa, I love it.” you smile at him. “It’s so pretty.” you inspect the bracelet. 
“Here, let me put it on you.” he gets the bracelet from the box and clamps it around your wrist. He smiles at the sight of you wearing the bracelet. 
He unfortunately had to leave because it was getting dark and he had to feed his cat at home. But, he swears he feels something in the air that night. 
“Please work.” He mumbles to himself. 
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In hindsight, what Seonghwa felt that fateful night was probably just pollen, because the very next day Seonghwa finds Jongho coming down with a bad case of allergy sniffles. The cafeteria is filled with the sounds of chattering from hungry sleep-deprived college students and Jongho’s sneezes. 
“So, did you finally give her that rose quartz bracelet you bought from that Etsy witch?” Seonghwa’s cheeks burn at his words. 
“Yea. It was a good time too. Venus was in mercury gatorade or something.” he mumbles while picking at the skin on his thumb. 
“Ahem.” You startle both boys with your presence. You raise your eyebrows at both of them and decide to end their misery of staring at you with their mouths open in shock. “What’s this about an Etsy witch?” 
“I do not recall saying Etsy witch.” Jongho mumbles quickly then packs up his things, muttering some excuse about buying a gatorade from the vending machine. Seonghwa just sits there, mouth agape, trying to stutter out some excuse but nothing coherent falls from his mouth. 
“Hwa, you know you didn’t have to summon the forces of magic and astrology to make me fall in love with you right? I kinda already am.” You blush as you admit your feelings for your best friend. 
Simp!hwa’s brain malfunctions hearing this. Heart pounding, mind racing. Did she just... Did she just say that? She likes me? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like forever. What now?! I didn’t actually think I would get this far. Shit what happens next. Do I shake her hand? No, that would be weird. Just say something, Seonghwa! Say something!
“Will you be my manifested girlfriend?” he asks in a dazed voice. This makes you giggle before you shake your head then decide to kiss him on the nose. “It’s about time.” 
Seonghwa wastes no time in going in for a kiss. It felt like fireworks were going off in the background (it was just Jongho having a massive sneezing fit). The moment was perfect. It was magical. You guys stare into each other’s eyes and it felt like all was right with the world. As the both of you pull away from the kiss, Jongho sits down at the table with a purple gatorade. 
“You know it's actually mercury retrograde, right?” 
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tusswrites · 2 months ago
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Sold For A Soul (i)
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pairing: jeon wonwoo x idol female reader (idol AU)
genre: strangers to lovers
synopsis: “Just so you know,” he said softly, his voice laced with sincerity, “I’d do anything to keep you close like this. Just come to me , when you have bad days like this . I want to be the one who gets to hear your complaints and worries. I want to be your rock. I want to start loving you , and to show you what love feels like. It’s not the worst feeling in the world, to be vulnerable.” or
making bargains with the devil in exchange for a chance to glory. lies, deception and uncovered feelings in a world of glitz and glam.
word count: 14k+
warnings: mentions of mistreatment, profanity, cheating (not between Y/N and Wonwoo) , eating disorder, nothing in detail but brushed over implications of abuse, power play, self loathing reader, mentions of toxic family, a lot of angst before the rainbow
rating : 18+ (no actual smut but yeah, suggestive content)
a.n. : my baby is finally being posted! truly grateful for haneul @chanranghaeys for suffering through actual garbage into producing this..thanks to eunha @svtiddiess for having to unintentionally be my beta reader for several scenes, and to kat my love @hee0soo for getting roped into it. also indi for everything you said to give me the courage to actually pen this down.
behold the masterlist that lies here!
disclaimer: I am sorry it took over two months to post this after the teaser came out! This has been in my drafts for over two months and long before, existed in my head. please understand that almost every incident in this fic, although it is set in idolverse, is fictional. unless stated otherwise, everything comes from my head and articles I have read through reddit regarding the entertainment industry in general. If you notice any similarities, please realize that it's purely coincidental, i had no intention on making a fic through anything that happened in kpop this year or the year before. however, there are some heavy topics mentioned here, so please heed the warnings and proceed with caution. if you comment , send asks or reblog with thoughts, know that for every one of these i am screaming into my pillow and kicking my feet out of giddiness!
It was never meant to come down to this. You were supposed to be a lawyer, following the predictions of Doljanchi after having picked up a mallet, destined to lead a life weighed down by the same misery that burdened your father, and his father before him. If a genealogical study were to be taken, it could be proven that the gene of misery passed down through the L/N blood. Shouldering the weight of a thousand suns on your shoulders, you’ll push your way forward, trying to attain even a bit of nirvana in this lifetime.
Which brings you here, to this dingy, roach-infested dorm, beds overlapping each other-nowhere suitable for young women to sleep. You have no time to wallow in your misery at this absolute shitshow of a place; you can only rush in haste, packing your bag and running out the door and into the sleek black van that will transport you to your destination.
Music Bank MC Hong Eunchae is on a world tour overseas, as are other popular artists, which leaves space for smaller company artists to fill up the slot as guest MCs, even if it’s just for one week. It’s a bloodbath getting a position in the nation’s finest music show as an MC and interviewing other big artists. You were never interested in the first place. In fact, your bandmate and second youngest, little Sorin, had jumped at the opportunity to take this position, excited at the prospect of being near her all-time favorite band, Seventeen. You have nothing against them; you know they’re popular, but that’s just about it.
Years of singing, dancing, and rapping have desensitized your overall love for the art form of music. You take no pleasure in keeping up with trends and fads. Your company however prohibited Sorin from her dream role and instead forced you into this. You hadn’t missed Sorin’s sidelong glance; you know she is upset, but there’s only so much you can do, after all. In your head, you promised her an autograph to make up for your company’s lack of empathy.
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Music Bank’s dressing room for the MCs was much grander than you could have imagined, your stylist was thrilled at the idea of more space without having to jab elbows with one another. With your makeup fixed upon your face, you rush off to don the outfit that was picked out for you, only to be dismayed as you watch the blouse—a little too bold to call it a blouse—turn out to be a tight corset, purposefully two sizes too small for you. Any mishap and you could be bursting at the seams, your boobs spilling out, and putting on a free show on live TV.
You sit down to peer over your script, pondering over the several social cues you have to follow. A laugh after Seungcheol-ssi recited his ‘scripted’ joke? Shaking your head you continue to read through, bemused at all the ill witted acting you have to do. Notwithstanding the cringe that has to come from your mannerisms ( you have to tuck your hair behind your face and bat your lashes when Mingyu-ssi makes eye contact with you?) ,you are overtaken by the sudden shaking feeling that you were being watched. Never one to escape the overthinking allegations of your brain, you simply shrug it off and keep scrolling through.
But no, there’s a certainty that has come over you. You were being watched and that thought was rattling you.
Your adrenaline on high alert, you jerk at the intrusion of someone in your personal space,and do the first thing that comes to your mind, watching in horror as you fling a six-foot boy onto the ground. The boy looks up at you in slight bewilderment, surprised by your strength to push him like a can of potatoes, while you stare amazedly at your hands. Where was all this superhuman strength when you needed it earlier?
“ I am sorry I know this looks bad I-”
Oh it did look bad. For you, the company, the fans. Because what possessed you to shove a Jeon Wonwoo onto the floor? Why had said man been peering over your shoulder in the first place? 
Questions. So many questions and so little answers.
“Please don’t press charges, I can explain,” Wonwoo hurriedly says, his eyes staring worriedly at you, bottom lip drawn tight.
You say nothing, instead reaching out a hand to help him up. You get pulled down slightly due to his weight, but he manages to hold you just in time, getting steady and standing still.
“Look this is going to sound stupid but I didn’t intend to scare you you know? I was done with hair and makeup a little earlier than the boys  and I had some time to kill and so I wandered. I saw you holding the booklet labelled ‘Seventeen’ and I just wanted to see our script- and-” —I know it sounds super stupid, but I—well, I—” His hands flail in all directions, trying to nail down one emotion. 
 “I am sorry, but I didn’t think you’d turn around this fast, I was going to tell you I swear.” his nervous rambling continued.
Awkward silence lingers.
A conversation you had with your younger bandmate minutes prior to accepting this role pops off in your head.
“Sorin, I am really, really sorry about this. I had no choice; please understand. I’ll get you an autograph if I see Wonwoo sunbaenim, though?” 
“Can I have an autograph?” you finally muster
Now it’s his turn to stare at you, befuddled, as if you had grown two heads. You hadn’t spoken a word till now and he did not expect this to be your opening line.  Were you a fan? Hope rises. When he had still not uttered anything, you begin- “Look, umm, that’s fine, haha.” You begin, cringing inwardly at your tone, awkward and forced, trying to diffuse the tension. The boy raises an eyebrow, clearly unsure whether to laugh or be concerned. You can feel your heart racing, and the weight of the moment presses down on you.
“I don’t mind, but can you please sign something for me? My little bandmate is a huge fan of yours and she would be ecstatic if she got one.”
He looks a little forlorn as he replies, “I am sorry, we are not allowed to give out autographs as per company orders.”
You are a little upset, but you can understand. Hybe did have strict rules about artist security.
 Seeing your downcast eyes, he comes up with an idea.
“How about this? Can you do a TikTok challenge with me for 'God of Music?' I’ll get you that autograph. The company has been on my back, trying to get an idol to do this challenge with me. I think it’s fair that I give you an autograph after that? I’ll just say it's a tit for tat situation? ” He looks hopeful.
You simply nod, a little disappointed at the prospect of doing a TikTok challenge. You weren’t a huge fan of this trend that made other idols dance to your group's songs, and you sure as hell weren’t interested in doing another group's song, especially one as hard as Seventeen's. But you have no choice. This is the only way you can get Sorin to be a little less hostile with you—she could hold a grudge for days.
Wonwoo’s methods for teaching you the steps are a huge contrast to your hostile choreographer who has no patience for your inability to remember steps as quickly as your bandmates do. Wonwoo is patient and understanding of your long limbs, probably owing to his own long limbs. You quite welcome this style of teaching, as opposed to merciless taunting and jeering of your slow pace in nailing a step right. For every mistake, all Wonwoo does is giggle and although you should be offended, you can’t find it in you to be.
The Music Bank interview went better than you’d like to give yourself credit for . “So Wonwoo-ssi, " That was Dokyeom-ssi mimicking the voice of Santa and taking over the interview. You panic a little, Dokyeom ssi speaking wasn’t part of the script. The director behind the camera looks bewildered as do you. But years of media training did prepare you to prolong a poker face so you remain infixed, even with the fact that Mingyu standing next to you couldn't remain still for a single second. Seventeen were thirteen men and this was a tight fix for several men. No sooner had you entertained the thought when you felt a slight shove from your left and there you were, getting pushed again.
A hand comes from behind, to get you to remain still, for which you are grateful, you didn’t want to fall face flat on live TV. You turn around and shoot Wonwoo a thankful smile, gladly reciprocated by your new acquaintance.
You come back home ,finally crashing  after five straight hours of practice for a comeback that was still not approved by the management, exhausted and hungry.
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That very night, SNS went viral. Pictures of you spread across the internet, capturing the moment you were mid-fall, with Wonwoo’s hands securely holding your waist. Cropped images of his face, paired with 10x zoomed-in shots of his hands wrapped around your hips, flooded timelines everywhere.
“It’s so obvious Wonwoo has a crush on her; just look at his eyes. The eyes never lie.” —carathoshiminwon97
“Look at the way he is looking at her in worry. Me when?” -aespasnakekyeomie
Yn you lucky bitch -@svtiddies
“I want someone to look at me the way Wonwoo looks at Y/N. “ junslastlimbofinesse
I have no idea who I want to be . Am I jealous of Wonwoo or Y/N?” confusedbisxeual
“I had no idea that a HYBE idol’s dating life would become public, especially for someone like Jeon Wonwoo. Man’s secretive as hell.” —sawdeintellgraphhwahwa88
“It’s over, y’all. My heart is in a million pieces. My bias is gone.” —wonnieismyhusband
“Aww, my eyes are blessed with the double visual attack! Y/N and Wonnie for life! Fighting!!!” —multistanarmycarat
“Happy for you, but also sobbing in my room! 😩💔 Can’t believe I’ll never be your one and only! #DramaticFan”
Fanarts, tiktok and reel edits, fanfiction even? In just a matter of moments you were being circulated everywhere. You don’t miss the vile shit either. There are AI images of you and Wonwoo, morphed and pasted into the most repugnant poses. You scroll past, heart sinking and disgust never leaving. The pros and cons of being an idol you guess.
There are some nasty comments, too. You choose not to linger too long on them, though words like “slut,” “untalented,” and “nugu group” stand out. You figured as much.
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“PD-nim wants to see you in his office now.”
You freeze midstep. It’s not the first time Kim Hangyuck has asked you to come visit his office privately , but after your last stunt you’d reckon he’d have some shame before calling you in this quickly. Was what you did last time not enough for him?
“Unnie, this is exciting news. Do you think he called you over to give news about a comeback?” That was Chul, the maknae of your group, excitedly jumping in glee at the hopes of a prospective comeback. Poor innocent child . The plethora of information you held back from her to protect the youth she will otherwise not have.
Giving her an easy nod, you walk with trepidation to his office, a prayer in your heart and head held high. Men like him can smell fear from far away, eagerly stamping over it.
“Come in.”
You hadn’t even knocked. Which probably meant he was spying on you all this while.You’re not in the least surprised. Sounds just like him.
Upon entering you're greeted by one of your nightmares in human form seated behind a chair, fingers tapping impatiently against the table. For what reason. You hadn’t even taken two minutes to attend to his whims and calls. Not like you could.
With a condescending nod, he signaled you to come closer. Anxiety rose high but you pushed it back down, inching closer to his table. Every moment in his proximity kickstarted your fight or flight response.
He slides a photocard across the table and you glance down to see oh-
“Jeon Wonwoo” he slurs out.
You know. You’ve been trying hard to drive his image from your head after that unfortunate meetup backstage. The photocard across the table wasn’t helping much with that affirmation. Confusedly you turn back up to look at his leering gaze right on your cleavage. With as much discomfort as you could try to hide, you stand straight, never giving him that satisfaction again.
“Han Sung-Soo from Pledis called today. He asked for your number. Looks like someone here caught the eyes of a handsome young man.”His beady eyes glint at you expectantly as if he was passing the good news except you feel nothing of that sort.
“I don't’ understand -”
‘Well, you’re in luck, gorgeous- “ you wanted to gag. Nicknames from him reflexively brought out such reactions. -Wonwoo here says he hopes that you will go on a date with him.”
You don’t want to go on a date with Wonwoo. You have nothing against him but you also have nothing for him. Why waste time on another man that was sure to break your heart in more ways than one?
“I don’t-”
“Well lucky for you, I said yes”. You don’t have it in you to lose energy. This is typical of Kim Hangyuck. Making decisions in your personal life with no thoughts whatsoever to ask you. He leans back, looking shamelessly proud of himself.
“I thought we were not supposed to be in a relationship based on our contracts.”
“Is that why I caught you with your boyfriend the other day?”
You gulp. What?
“Don’t act so surprised gorgeous, remember what I told you? I have eyes everywhere. Everywhere.” A shiver of disgust coursed through your veins, any second longer with him, you were going to throw up in his face.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Go on a date with him, lure him by your beauty, entice him enough to make him your boyfriend.” You could see the smug grin on his face like he was proud of his terrible idea.
You want to refuse but the consequences of defying an order run far deeper than you could possess to think right now.
“Why?”
‘Because gorgeous, we need funds. If you girls want the next comeback out soon, we need the publicity to attract fans to Blush Girls. This way, if we leak the news of your relationship to the press, a scandal breaks out and we gain something from this. Don’t forget this is someone from Hybe Labels. He’s high profile.”
“I thought he asked for my number because he liked me . If this is a romantic relationship, isn’t this breaching the contract of trust Hybe will endow upon me?”
He shrugged, least bothered about your emotions here. Obviously your thoughts don't matter.
‘I don’t care Y/N . Seduce him, get him in your bed, make him fall in love with you and get into a relationship with him. This is the only way ‘Blush Girls’ will get a breakthrough. Follow the plan or I will scrap your project. No comebacks, instant contract termination." Venom oozed out from his warning. He was every bit the cruel man to carry out that threat. You knew it. You couldn’t let down your members like this because your morale came in the way. You owed it to them at least.
“Fine. One date. But I get to choose the restaurant and I want Yoon to accompany me .”
“Nice try, gorgeous. We have already selected the restaurant for you. It’s on us. Victor will be accompanying you. We need to keep an eye out on you at all times.”
Victor was a pervert. During your trainee days you kept a knife under your pillow, for fear of that sleazy man. Unfortunately, the company refused your demands to fire him despite the multiple protests by artists. He was also Hangyuck’s right hand. His extra pair of ears and eyes. You knew exactly why he was accompanying you.
“Alright”. You agree. You have no choice after all.
Shaking hands with Kim Hangyuck on this deal feels like signing off your soul to the Devil.
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The first date comes before you have time to reflect on it or find ways to escape the plan at all. 
It started off awful. You began on the wrong foot, clad in a busty outfit that left little to the imagination, especially for someone like Victor, who required none. Your protests against your outfit were silenced with a strong threat from your manager, quelling any audacity you had to question management's generosity in providing you with a ‘branded’ dress and paying for this date.
Makeup had covered his handprint well, but you had enough rage to flip a table. You arrive at the designated restaurant, surprised at the luxury of it. With the cheap budget decisions your company made over and over again, you didn’t think they had it in them to indulge in fine dining.
Wonwoo greeted you at the table with a ninety-degree bow.
 Sorin had told you he was older; just like a Naver search had confirmed. As your senior artist, you were supposed to bow to him, and this was an informal meeting? Then why was he bowing?
As if to mend the awkwardness, Wonwoo extends his right hand to shake yours in a cordial gesture, leaving you even more confused. Who shakes hands before a date?
The date was extremely awkward, for lack of a better word. You were very uneasy. 
Victor was set to accompany you as mandated by PD nim, but his beady eyes never left your body, making the air feel thick with discomfort. You kept trying to sit up straight every time you unconsciously bent down to look at the table, only to meet Victor's leering gaze on your cleavage.
“So, how was your day?” Wonwoo asked, hoping to break the silence between the three of you.
“Good,” you replied curtly.
“O-okay. Cool.” Dead silence followed.
He called a waiter over and placed his order. You opted for just wine. He looked a little bewildered at your choice to abstain from eating but made no comments, sending the waiter away with both your orders. And Victor’s, who hadn’t made a move except to continue undressing you with his eye and order off the whole menu.
In a true heroic moment, Wonwoo intervened, gently ushering Victor out. You watched with mild curiosity as Wonwoo slipped a few thousand-won bills from his pocket into Victor's stubby hands. Victor flashed a grin, showing his yellow teeth, and walked away from the table. Wonwoo returned, sending a charming smile your way.
Finally noticing your agitation with your dress, Wonwoo stripped off his jacket and handed it to you.
You were unsure of what to do with a new piece of fabric.
“Ahh, he’s probably uncomfortable with the jacket behind him,” you thought. Taking it from him, you place it on your lap, clutching tightly. He dropped his chopsticks mid bite, staring at you in astonishment.
“What?”
“Y-you—”
“I?”
“Nothing.” 
He went back to his stew, and you returned to your wine.
“So, how’s the wine?” he asked, once again trying to strike up a conversation.
“It’s nice. Tastes like wine.”
“Ahh, okay.”
More silence followed.
Was it your turn to ask something for a change?
“How is yours?” you ventured.
“My what?” he countered.
“Your wine.”
“I didn’t order wine. I ordered soda.”
“Oh.”
Nobody utters a single word after that.
Safe to say, dinner wasn’t going too well.
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But Wonwoo is a gentleman, so after dinner—however awkward it was—he offers to take you home, silencing all your formalities as you begin to look for Victor. Wonwoo tells you he has left. Your company was not going to take too kindly to sending off your bodyguard, you could only hope the greed in Victor , satisfied at the bills thrown his way, would silence his complaints.
You know you shouldn’t trust Wonwoo over another man, but you’d take any man over Victor and Hangyuck, and that was saying something. Feeding your location into his GPS, you embark on the long, awkward journey back home.
The location you recited  to Wonwoo is a lie.
This was not the exact location of your dorm, but you’d be damned if you showed a HYBE artist where Delaware Labels housed their trainees. It was enough to attract a lawsuit—not the kind of publicity your company was willing to take.
Wonwoo catches on pretty quickly when he parks the car in front of a park that has no building in plain sight. 
He fixes you with another look that prompts you to chant your real address this time. You cringe as he nears the poor excuse for a building where you live, shoulders drawn tight.
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Sorin, in her endless gushing over her dream man and explaining Carat lore, had always claimed that Wonwoo was hot but naive as hell.
With firsthand experience, you'd confidently say she was wrong about that. He looked carefully into your eyes reading every micro-expression on your face like a book. When he stopped the car at your entrance, he turned to look at you. You glanced down at his jacket, still clutched in your hands, and, as if remembering to return it, you placed it on his lap.
“Oh,” he exclaims, taking the jacket from you. It was meant for you to cover up, but you clearly hadn’t caught onto the hint, and he was too shy to ask you to, believing it would make things more awkward.
“Y/N,” he finally croaks out from his perch on the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel  and his body turned wholly toward you.
You look back at him, blinking at the earnest expression in his eyes.
Was he going to do something like kiss you? God, you hoped not. He had been decent so far, and you didn’t want that to be ruined by some unwanted advance. Was that his payback for his good character? Was that why he sent Victor home? Oh, how things were clearing up.
“Y/N?” this time his head was tipped to the side, a questioning look dancing across his eyes. 
In true fashion, you had assumed the worst and drifted off into several meaningless thoughts. His name calling brought you back to the present. You cock an eyebrow , waiting for a response. 
“You know,-  he starts -“when Seventeen started out, we had a small dorm too. There wasn’t enough room and way too many young boys. We didn’t have any active listeners or great brand deals; we just had each other. We made the best of it. It’s a gradual curve, you know? Release comeback after comeback, with no wins, working your ass off, and one day that hard work pays off. Now I’m not scared to admit it, but I love your group’s songs; I bought two of your albums, and my bias is you.
You jerk your head at that and feel a small blush creep up his face, his eyes darting around nervously , hesitant to look at your face. Cute.
The kindness bestowed on you by a total stranger was not lost on you, your eyes watering reflexively at his sudden graciousness.
Seeing your red rimmed eyes, Wonwoo panics, offering any consolation to get you to stop crying- tough luck. You kept sniffling, but no tears streamed down thankfully. 
“I can’t go home like this," you state woefully. “They'll think something happened to me and I can’t afford them questioning me right now."
Wonwoo nods sympathetically. 
“Can I drive you around the block?” he asks with a hopeful look on his face.
Well, the night is still young. 
“Yes, that would be nice, thank you.”
You settle back as Wonwoo reverses the car, your breath hitching as he casually drapes an arm around the back of your seat. His focused gaze shifts behind him, steering the car with practiced ease as it glides smoothly in reverse and into the chilly night.
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“Fighting, Y/N.” he sends you off an hour later with a big grin on his face and the leftovers of the food he had ordered for you at the restaurant , despite your refusal to eat. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you walk home, a dopey grin on your face and a bag filled with food.
Tiptoeing into the dorm, you’re surprised to see none of your hooligan bandmates asleep except for Chuul. They were actively awaiting your return. A warm smile spreads across your face as you share the boxes of leftovers, watching in amusement as they all dig in, your heart full . Diets be damned. 
You need to take these empty containers and throw them in the trash bins outside the building before your manager finds them in the dorm though. 
To an eager crowd of four, you announce your date was ‘great’, even though that is the last you will go on a date with Wonwoo.
You had followed the company’s orders; a couple of photos were taken—they could go viral or not; you don’t care. But in an ideal world, you and Jeon Wonwoo will never date.
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“So, Y/N, how’d the date go last week?” Hyanyuck asked, his tone deceptively casual as he strolled into the rehearsal room a week later. His presence always felt like a storm cloud, ominous and charged with tension.
“It went badly, I don’t see a spark. I don’t think this will work. Sorry.” You focused on massaging your sore wrists, a futile attempt to ease the cramps that Vogueing had inflicted on you.
“She’s lying. Wonwoo-ssi had texted her the next day, and she still hasn’t responded,” Sorin chimed in from across the room, her tone sharp and teasing.
Your heart dropped. How did she know? Why was she going through your phone?
Hyayuck's smirk deepened as he turned to you. “So you lied to me?”
“It’s not like that, I—”
“Silence.” He held out his palm like a judge passing a sentence. “Give me your phone.”
“I can’t do that.” You felt a mix of defiance and dread, but your phone was swiftly passed to him by Yoonha, who shot you a triumphant look. Betrayal coursed through your veins.
As Hyanyuck scrolled through Wonwoo’s messages—sweet good mornings, soft concerns— all unanswered by you, your stomach churned with anxiety. Each text felt like a thread tightening around your heart, especially as Hyanyuck began replying with cringeworthy flirtations. Your cheeks burned reading what he wrote over his shoulder as he set another date.
You’d never text like that. Who even called someone “darling”? This was wrong—leading Wonwoo on like this was unjust. You resolved to confess everything to him tomorrow, the date Hyanyuck set for your next meetup. You couldn’t betray someone like this.
From the texts, it was clear Wonwoo was a little unsure about the sudden enthusiasm.
“Is this really Y/N?”
“Yes, yes darling. It is me. 😉😘”
You cringed again
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When the second date arrived, it was oddly intimate. Victor was absent, leaving you and Wonwoo alone to navigate the currents of this charade. You slipped into your favorite pink dress, a small source of comfort knowing the stylist gave you freedom to choose your own outfit this time. Her way of apologizing for your obvious disinterest and being forced to do something you didn’t want to.
Wonwoo looked stunning in his olive green shirt, rolled up to his elbows, revealing forearm veins that gave anyone a good charity view. Under any other circumstances you’d have fallen for Wonwoo, and you can’t deny a handsome man when he was placed in front of you like this.
As you sat across from him, the atmosphere felt heavy. You glanced at your untouched plate, lying as still as your resolve to maintain this facade. This time he was visibly uncomfortable being the only one who ate. Wonwoo chewed nervously, and the sound seemed amplified in the silence between you.
Taking one more sip of your wine, you cleared your throat and he looked up mid chew, eyes widened like boba balls between the mandu in his mouth. Cute.
“So, I—” you stammered, anxiety prickling at the back of your mind. You rubbed your clammy palms against your dress, the fabric doing little to quell your unease.
“Y/N?” His voice was soft, inviting. You wished he was a little more inattentive and distracted like everyone else.
“Listen, Wonwoo-ssi, this is a setup. My company, uh, Delaware, is struggling to push their artists to go viral, and they used me to date you—to create a scandalous relationship that would get people talking. You know by now any publicity is good publicity.”
You expected anger or disbelief, but what met you was something far worse: a flicker of sadness in his eyes. It struck a chord deep within you, the weight of his disappointment settling in your chest like a stone. “I understand,” he said, his voice cracking just slightly, as if he were trying to hold back a tide of emotions.
The air between you thickened with unspoken words, and a part of you ached to take it all back, to rewrite this moment. You could see the hurt etched on his face, and it twisted something inside you.
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Returning to the practice room later, dropped hastily by a Wonwoo that refused to look at you, you come back to see your members practicing dance to a new song.
You find maknae Chuul in the middle dancing provocatively to steps not age worthy and an overwhelming sense of protectiveness surged within you. This wasn’t right—how could anyone allow a child to perform something so suggestive? You strode forward, determination fueling your steps.
“Uh, no, Chuul cannot be doing this.”
Ampers, the choreographer, raised an eyebrow, his irritation palpable.
“And why should I listen to you?” You stood firm, the adrenaline coursing through you. “Because it’s my job to protect my members, especially the minors, I am the leader of Blush Girls.”
A silence fell over the room, heavy and electric. Ampers’ hand shot out, and the slap resonated like thunder, shocking everyone into stillness. You felt the sting, both physical and emotional. It wasn’t just the pain that hurt; it was the weight of the moment, the knowledge that you had challenged authority in a world where no one dared to.
Ampers was an eccentric man; no one dared to question his decisions—not even the CEO, and that was saying something. There were a lot of shady rumors about him being a drug lord or an underground mafia leader. Given the amount of leverage he had over Delaware Labels, you didn’t doubt it.
Eunsae and Mishal’s faces turned to rage, Yoonha’s expression shifted to one of shock, and the rest of the room held its breath, stricken. You turned to comfort Chuul and Sorin, their tears igniting a fierce protectiveness in you.
Eunsae rushes in with a pack of something cold, icing your face with tender urgency, but the sting lingers—both from the slap and the fact that Yoonha’s gaze bore into you with envy.
“You’ve stolen my best friend, too,” she murmured, the jealousy lacing her voice sharp enough to cut.
In that moment, you felt the weight of your choices, a complex tangle of emotions you couldn’t untangle. You wanted to protect them all, yet here you were, caught in a web of your own making, trying to figure out where you fit in this chaotic world.
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You should have known Ampers’ pride was too high for him to go down without a fight.
Social media exploded. You watched as you, the darling of the nation for your unique beauty and obvious spotlight for a three second viral moment turned into a pariah overnight.
Multiple newspapers splashed your face across their front pages with the headline “K-Pop Star Under Fire: Workplace Harassment Reveals Idol’s True Nature.” Accused of harassment. You? What had you done to deserve this?
The article detailed how you, a visual member of a nugu group, had been accused by anonymous staff members of “bad behavior” and “rude remarks,” claiming your members lived in fear of you. It was a twisted narrative that made your stomach turn.
What stung even more was that all the fans who had once supported you now turned against you. Your relationship with Wonwoo became a target; all the dance challenges you’d done together were scrutinized and ridiculed. You were slut-shamed and deepfaked in the most grotesque ways. The sheer ferocity of the backlash was horrifying. The very people who had cheered for you now called you the vilest names online.
Your members walked on eggshells, unsure of how to act around you. All you did was feel hollow, surrounded by people yet truly alone. Then, your phone rang. It was your mother. Your heart sank.
“Eomma, hi.” your voice quavered.
“What did I tell you about keeping that tongue of yours in check? Now look at what you’ve done. If you get dropped by your agency, know that you’re not welcome here. I cannot afford to take care of a useless daughter and a useless husband.”
The “useless husband” in question was your father, who had become a quadriplegic after a heroic accident to save your mother’s life. Her gratitude had morphed into bitterness, and she had turned into the most spiteful woman you knew. Sometimes you couldn’t believe the hateful words that left her lips. There was tough love, and then there was this—whatever twisted means it took for her to show she cared. You have grown up raising yourself. Your mother was aloof, a total nightmare. Her yells echoed in your mind even now. Your older brother had gone no contact the moment he turned 18, and it hit you hard. It was up to you to help the family. Your aspirations to become a lawyer were met with disdain; she wanted easy money, not hard-earned success.
She had pushed you into pageants and modeling—things you hated, all driven by the toxic culture. Your mother had practically whored you out, contacting agencies to get you into acting or modeling owing to your obvious beauty. When that failed, she forced you into auditions at Delaware Labels, prohibiting you from attending college. The agency took one look at your face and signed you up, ignoring your protests that you couldn’t sing or dance. It was the only time you ever saw her smile at you. Wanting to see more of that smile, you signed a seven-year contract, effectively ending your dreams of law school and subjecting yourself to a regime of extreme diets and pain. The only blessing in your life had been your former friend Julie. When she left, you were left with four other young girls to protect from the industry’s evils.
“Eomma, it wasn’t my fault.” you pleaded with the woman that birthed you.
“You think I will believe your word against a well-established man in the industry? You lied to me about dropping out of law school. I had to do it for you when your manager called to tell me you were caught sneaking out for evening classes.” Her voice dripped with contempt, as if she abhorred you.
Typical of your mom.
“Y/N, I have no money. If I die today, your father—”
There she went again with her blackmailing. Her ability to drag your sick father into any argument was astonishing.
A nation was against you, your family was against you, your own band members were against you. And yet your agency stayed silent. There was no letter to warn the fans against the malicious rumors. No effort to clear your name. Nothing.
Pledis had contacted Delaware to inform them that while it was too soon to release a post clearing the mess and wipe Wonwoo’s name linked with yours, there would be no further relations between you two. Which explained the dead silence from his side.
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Since you weren't the actual problem here, your company had no choice but to let you continue with practise as usual. The CEO hadn’t announced a comeback date yet but hopes were rising for one. Your publicity, albeit a negative one had given the public to raise eyes toward you, the next comeback was a sure step to bag some fans. Which meant the company was working hard to produce good music. You hoped they didn’t end up with some hard notes for you, given as you still couldn’t actually hold notes either. 
After five days of radio silence from Wonwoo you had begun to move on . Hating your heart for even hoping he’d call to ask. Of course he thinks you were the one at problem here too. 
However, today, your phone rings with a strange text from an unknown number. You were used to the spam texts from creeps, but this was a strange number signed ‘WW’. Which, if your Carat memory was right, was Wonwoo’s signature to end every text.
A small crack comes through and you dare to hope.
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It was Wonwoo. He was outside your dorm and he wanted you to meet him downstairs.
You were stupid if you missed that chance.
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Wonwoo leads you to the nearby park, well sheltered by a canopy of trees, illuminated by the small fluorescent street lights that were dimming at its ends.
And this time, he’d brought a picnic basket with him
“I made this for you," he says, shoving a messily assembled sandwich into your hands, all smiles and squinty eyes, you can’t help but crack a smile. An action that brings him to further his smile, you reciprocating thoughtlessly.
Well you can’t excuse not eating after he prepared it for you.
 The last time someone cooked for you was when you were 13, before your grandmother passed away. When it was clear you had attained some cooking knowledge , your mother had made you in charge of cooking all the meals at home. Even when you went home for the holidays, it was you doing the cooking, never the other way.
You suppose you could eat just this once , if not for you at least for him. You could always expel it later. 
You didn’t have to wait for later. One bite in and you were spitting it out.
Wonwoo watches with the cutest face you have ever seen on a grown man, unknown pout on his lips and furrowed eyebrows at your blatant disrespect spit out what he had lovingly taken time to make.
“Wonwoo-ssi” . “Did you umm- did you eat this’ “No, I wanted you to have the first bite.” Of course he did.
You were not going to hurt his feelings like that. You were not that cruel despite what the tabloid told. But you could make him taste and see what he’s done.
“Can you take one bite” you insist, pushing the sandwich closer to his mouth.
In a way to see what the hullabaloo was all about , he takes a tentative bite of the sandwich and you watch as his face morphs from doubt to disgust. His pout intensifies.
“ I thought I did good.”
“What did you even put in here”,  your amusement never failing to make an appearance. “All the fancy stuff Gyu uses.”, he answers, shoulders tilted up with certain pride.
“Like what?” you were curious.
“This is my first time cooking ever.” He admits ashamedly and you are no longer surprised. That explains the undecipherable saltiness to this sandwich. 
“So I decided to be a little fancy and reached into Mingyu’s seasoning cupboard. There’s every kind of powder including the pink season. I added that to give some color and make the sandwich pretty to look at. “ He finishes triumphantly with an innocent grin.
You are touched . Truly. But-
“Pink stuff?” “Wonwoo-ssi just how much of the pink stuff did you put there?”
“A lot’ he was staring at you with a cocked brow , offended you would question his cooking skills like this. 
“Wonwoo-ssi-’
“Please, just call me Wonwoo”
“Alright Wonwoo, that pink stuff- you air quote is actually salt. Himalayan salt.”
You wait for one beat. Two beats.
“Ohhhh— “ he draws out at the realization of a look of mortification coming at him.
His eyes scrunched up cutely, you catch his adorable cheeks bunch up and you want to comfort him like you would baby Chuul when she was this upset. Except he was no baby.
So you resort to laughing. 
You are in awe of this man who you try so hard not to like is slowly working his way up to being a friend. A good friend even.
After a good five minutes of shared laughter that trickles to small squeaks , a small air of awkwardness hung in the air.
But this time he is prepared to counter that.
“Can I ask you about what went down the other day?”
“When?”
“I have seen the tabloids Y/N. What went wrong with your choreographer?”
Oh. You did figure he would eventually ask, you didn’t expect it this suddenly though.
“Do you want my version or the truth?”
‘But isn’t your version the truth?” You freeze, your eyes misting up immediately.
Seeing your face he tentatively reaches out, and  seeing no resistance from your side, rests a palm on your knee. Your knee was beginning to heat up.
“ I- I did nothing wrong you know?” “Trust me Y/N I know that.”
You are touched at a strangers' choice to believe you over your own mother. 
As a child you were the quiet one while your brother relentlessly bullied you. Of course your mother sided with him. This is the first time someone wants to listen to your side of the argument.
 Before you ask him to explain , he beats you to it, “I know you hate dance challenges, your body language screamed as much but you did that to give your bandmate my autograph didn’t you? S-sorin right? Your eyes widened. “Oh my you know her name? She is going to be so ecstatic about this I have to tell her right now.”
“See? Even now you are thinking of ways to make someone else happy. So tell me what really went down?” You recount the whole situation to him, opting to leave out Chuul’s name and her dancing being the whole reason, you don’t have to give up her identity like that. 
“And I know that’s what bring the fans but - I-” “You know if you are uncomfortable about something, you have the right to state your reasons not to do it. “ He states gently," The company cannot just force you .”
You snort out a laugh . Oh this fool. If only it were that simple
You say no more opting to end this conversation there. No need to get things all mushy now.
Not wanting to delve more into the awkward air, Wonwoo cleared his voice and you knew he was going to bring up another topic
He talks about his upcoming tour and you listen in awe as he describes their travel around the world.
One perk you had hoped to get as an idol was to do world tours, in hopes of traveling around and seeing new places. 
Unfortunately, Blush Girls was too nugu to make it past the small company curse. Delaware was also very low on funds, often shamelessly resorting to request you to get your way through some potential investors. You were numb at this point,a bin used by men, to get bills thrown at your face only to be dipped away by Delaware as part of the compromise you’d made with them. 
‘So, what does flying feel like?”
‘Well I can’t help you there, I don’t have wings Y/N.” he chuckles softly.
“No, I was walking about an aircraft, how does it feel to fly in the clouds?”
You see the small look of shock before he instantly wipes it away “Yo-you’ve never been on a plane before?” 
You shrug dismissively. There were small concerts and festivals in Japan you could have gone to. Establishing yourself in the Japanese market would have given you a leg up for sure to come out of nugudom. You worked overtime to provide the funds for Delaware, you were sure of that, your body and throat ached to fill the void. But greed triumphs over integrity you suppose. You could only watch in sadness as men dipped into the hard work you invested in and left you even more void, shallow soul and mind.
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Sorin watched from the window as her celebrity crush, the man that filled her childhood bedrooms, sat there on the park bench with the dopiest grin she’s ever seen staring at her unnie.
 It’s not fair. You didn’t even know him like she did. She was the one who gushed to you about how much she was sure she was going to marry Jeon Wonwoo one day. And now there sat the man of her dreams, a palm pressed against his cheek, staring at you. 
You who had lied and said there was ‘absolutely nothing’ happening between the both of you. Of course you’d get the man too. Just like everything in Sorin’s life she wished to have.
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After a night of easy conversation and shared laughs, you sneak back into your dorm , waving goodbye to the boy slowly worming himself into your heart. 
You hoped everyone was asleep, rehearsals started early tomorrow and Ampers had quite the mood these days. You didn’t want to poke the bear with overtired girls at the dance practices.
But you were wrong.
The door is forcefully opened by a livid Sorin who scornfully looks at you as you do your walk of shame back to your bed.
‘Slut” you overhear her mumbling. Your heart sank. Who taught this child that word?
Ever since she was denied the Music Bank position her behavior had spiraled, and you understood teenage angst but when met with open disdain, you hoped for a chance at grace. 
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Nothing much changes after that. Wonwoo and you exchange texts on your phone although you space out your replies from a day to a week. 
You cannot lead him on but the temptation of texting him is so strong that you cannot ignore it either. 
The hate online from netizens die down a little bit. Soon you are no longer the poster child for bullying owing to the actual controversy of plagiarism from “Chorstify’. Good days were coming.
 Or so you thought.
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The Mama Awards rolled out , and for the first time in two years since debut, Blush Girls had received an invitation. First time for a Delaware Labels group, and no thanks to the immense publicity this year has bestowed upon you. 
Wonwoo texts you a ‘see you there’ even before the announcement and you are even more confused. How did he know?  Was he perhaps involved in Blush Girls getting an invitation to an award show destined to be swept off by big labels?
You sigh. For an ‘acquaintance’ he sure did a lot more than you would have expected someone to. You should pay him back, you think. No one does favors for free. But how do you pay a rich million dollar earning idol? And how do you pay at all when the company refused to pay your group, heaping a bigger trainee debt? You only know one way of payback that you had learned from your mother- giving up your body. 
“Men only want one thing” your mother had warned you. 
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Hair and makeup went quickly for you giving you more time to loiter around and hopefully catch a glance of ‘Big Cobra’, your childhood celebrity crush. The only dream artist you actually hoped to collaborate with. When Delaware did accept you,you had hoped you’d be given a rapper position but one look at your visuals and your soft voice, they had laughed at your request, calling you unfit for such a position. 
You had been eavesdropping your manager’s conversation with your idol, giddy with the prospect of him dancing to one of your earlier songs. What an honor! Except- 
 “Who’s Yoonha?” Cobra ssi bellows out through the other door. Yoonha also had big admiration for him. You wouldn’t actually mind if she was the one who got to do this dance challenge with him. 
There’s a slight crumpling of papers rustling and you can only imagine Yoonha’s face card being shown to Cobra. What follows next, changes the trajectory of your vision for the idol of your dreams.
“Nope, she’s too ugly.”
“But she is such a huge fan of yours, this would lift her spirits.” Your manager protested on her behalf.
“Everyone is a huge fan of me Dongyun-ssi . Give me a pretty woman. Don’t you have a Y/N in your group? Give me someone that looks beautiful. Or get me a younger one. I need to establish myself in today’s generation before they forget me.”
You feel no elation at hearing your name spoken in such praise. Only pure disgust.
“How about Sorin? Here, this is her ”
“No she’s too ugly too. I want the pretty one. She looks youthful enough. What is her name?” 
She’s Y/N but she has been punished by the agency for her recent remarks, she is not allowed to film challenges till one month is up.” “Fine, I’ll do it with the other two chicks here but remember, you owe me a big one. I happen to gain nothing from this since I cannot dance with the visual.”
Over your dead body. No way were you going to allow a grown man who’d openly demanded for a child 20 years his junior , to collaborate with the other members he had insulted. No way in hell. 
So you resort to snitching on him and telling Yoonha and Sorin to avoid the dance challenge.
To your utter amazement, Yoonha and Sorin defied your orders to not dance with Big Cobra ,instead calling you out on jealousy. What jealousy? If only they understood.
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As Seventeen takes the stage, your mind struggles to focus. Whatever happened a few moments prior backstage has soured your mood. You knew you’d get in trouble with your company later for all the bad reactions you were showcasing to several cameras but you didn’t fucking care. The disgust you feel was too intense to mask.
A hand crept up into your peripheral vision and you catch a glimpse of Eunsae watching you with concern etched on her face.
“You know unnie, I know you are the leader and it's part of  your role to take care of us. But sometimes, I wish you’d tell us too. I am not a child anymore. I know everyone around us are monsters. I just don't get why you have to bear this all alone. Something happened backstage and that’s clearly made you upset. Please tell me what happened. I thought you were happy BigCobra ssi would agree to do a dance challenge with us. Your face shows otherwise  ”
Sometimes you don’t understand why you kept a lot of things from your members. At least the older ones. You had lived your entire life being an adult in the situation and wanting to shelter your members from all of it, but these ladies were all growing up. They were not children anymore. At least not Eunsae.
So you spill. 
By the time you are done recounting the story to Eunsae, you see her face has darkened, disgust apparent in her face too. 
“He did what now?” she interjected.
You say nothing, your silence speaking far more, conforming your thoughts.
Eunsae had biblical anger displayed on her face. Her jaw clenched tight with anger, her fists tightly holding on your wrist. You felt the same way.
“And you still let them go ahead  unnie?” she pressed.
“I mean they didn’t really give me an option . Yoonha was convinced I was jealous of forbidding her.” 
Eunsa rolled her eyes at that.
“Typical Yoonha” she muttered.
The next day Twitter went viral with a picture of Eunsae’s rolled eyes and you whispering in her ear amidst Seventeen’s special stage
Typical media and fan behavior, making noise out of nothing.
But this time the hate wasn’t just directed at you, your bandmate was included. Very quickly a warning was issued by your company threatening strong actions against malicious rumors against your labelmate and you. The last scandal you want to be involved with is fighting a large fandom of a popular boy group.
Only if Eunsae knew you had to sacrifice a part of you to get that post up and running up on the world wide web.
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Chuseok holidays rolled out and while everyone went home, you found yourself alone. Your mother had claimed she was taking your father to a hospital, there is no way she can house you. 
“Your meal plans cost extra," she said, chucking you as just another burden.
With the girls gone, Victor was in charge of keeping you company and you wanted no opportunity to share the same air as him.
Maybe you could surprise your mother, perhaps with a surprise meal you'd cook. She wouldn’t turn her own daughter away would she?
You wished you hadn’t taken your own advice because on opening the room to your childhood home, you are greeted by the sight that will forever be imprinted in your memories.
Your mother wrapped around Hyangyuck, your PD. While your sick father was in the other room, blissfully unaware.
“Y/N wait- it’s not like that.” your mother’s face paled as she stammered out an apology.
You were done. Honestly this explains why you got selected despite your lack of talents anyway. Your mother had probably gotten her way around Hyangyuck with her connections to secure your spot. The realization burned.
You didn’t know who your own married mother was..
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Not knowing what to do , where to go, you stand at the crossroads .  The dorm was empty, Victor was insufferable, and home—home was a twisted illusion. A sudden beep pulled you from your thoughts. A text from Wonwoo. It was the sixth message he’d sent in a week. Peering down at the screen, you read his invitation: “Want to go hang out? If you’re in the mood.”
You scoffed, not in the mood for anything. But the thought of spending time at his apartment—away from this mess—was tempting.
Lucky for you, Wonwoo was accepting of that too.
You had been looking for a chance to repay him back for all his kindness anyway
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Wonwoo’s apartment was just as you’d imagined it. Cute and demure. Very minimalistic with the  exception of the kitchen- stacked with all the fancy kitchen equipment you could ever dream of. ‘Mingyu’s sanctuary’ he’d called it.  You chuckled to yourself, remembering Wonwoo’s disastrous sandwich-making fiasco. He was definitely not the chef in this partnership.
Wonwoo offers you some clothes-  probably an ex’s. A shorter someone because they fall ankle length. Wonwoo takes a good look at you and pursues his lips.
“Stop laughing!” you called out, feigning annoyance.
“I didn’t laugh,” he protested, though the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him.
“Your face says otherwise!”
As if that grants him the excuse, peals of laughter ring out , his palms doing nothing to stifle the obvious joy in his voice.
After the laughter drowns out you take a good look at him. Wonwoo is sitting by the fireplace, palm pressed to his cheek, elbow resting on the arm rest, softly glancing at you in a look of pure adoration. A look you can’t decipher . You couldn’t help but wonder why someone would look at you that way. 
A confident strut to your otherwise beating heart you walk over to where he sat. Leaning down to meet his gaze, you turned on the sultry charm you didn’t know you possessed, and his uncertainty morphs into something akin to eagerness. Although you have never given him the inkling that you do like him, he was sure he did. Anyone with eyes could see that. But this forward action from your side for once? Very welcome in his sight. 
Leaning closer to him, a hairbreadth away, you press your lips against his.
For one second nothing happens and you tense. But Wonwoo bridges the gap before you back away, an arm around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him, cradling your waist. Instinctively, you jerk again, tickled at the sensation. But he’s quicker, placing the other arm around your left hip, now in a lock against your hip , drawing you closer and onto his lap. You don’t fight it, immediately settling onto his knees and gliding over to his thighs, brought forward by Wonwoo’ quick hands. Hands that had moved to your ear, his finger fondling with the star earring dangling from your right ear. Your hands seemed to have a mind of their own too, hands edging dangerously close to his chest. A beat later you place it against him, reveling in the hitch in his voice, fueled to take it further and pressing even harder against him.
Wonwoo shyly asks for entrance and you grant it to him. A dangerous thing to do because the next second you are at his mercy. He dominates the kiss and you have to ground yourself against his shirt, tugging on it impossibly hard. Any whimper you have is swallowed by Wonwoo’s strong tongue game.
A kiss he very much enjoys till his lost thoughts come back to him a minute or two later, and realization dawns.
He pulls back first leaving you suspended in a swirl of emotions—sadness mixed with a tinge of regret. His eyes searched yours, studying your expression for any sign of interest, but he found only confusion.
“I am sorry-”
“Why did you kiss me, Y/N?” His voice was quiet, almost vulnerable.
“ I wanted to pay you back?” your voice ringing on hollowness.
 He tips his head. 
“Pay me back? How? Why” His brow furrowed in confusion.
The silence stretched, wrapping around you both like an uncomfortable shroud. You felt the weight of your own words, the lingering truth of how you’d tried to manipulate the kindness he had shown you.
“So that kiss-”
“Look, it’s late in the evening Y/N, you were already upset when you came in and It’s my fault I shouldn't’” “No it’s not yours it’s mine” “Why don’ we sleep on it, hmm? Maybe after a good nights rest we can talk it out. How about that?” There is a small smile on his face but you’re not blind, it’s forced.
He leads you to his bedroom and ushers you around it.
“If you need anything, I’ll be in the next room.”
“Where are you going?”
“”I’ll be right next door Y/n. In Mingyu’s room. He’s not home anyway.”
 “I am sorry I took advantage of your kindness. I know you don’t like me like that and I-”
“Wait, do you think I don’t like you?” he asked, a hint of desperation creeping into his tone. “Y/n, I like you. Too much. But I’m scared you don’t.”
The admission hung in the air, thick with unspoken feelings. The silence turned awkward, and he finally backed away, breaking the spell. “I’ll take Mingyu’s room. You can have my room.”
And he leaves you, with an empty heart. Truly the daughter of your mother as much you both would like to deny it. Whoring yourself out for a place to spend the night, seeking validation in the most twisted ways. You spend the whole night tossing and turning, your brain won’t shut up, your mind is not at ease. 
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You didn’t sleep a wink last night, fabric bunched up under your uncouth sleeping habits. Alert at the sounds of pots and pans clucking you spring up and make it to the kitchen, where you get to behold Wonwoo in all his morning glory, bleached hair sticking up in every odd direction, face marred with several lines creased by the pillows. 
"Good Morning” he calls out cheerfully, and you jump a little, you didn't think he was a morning person to be honest. 
You call back and exchange pleasantries, still over the edge of what happened last night. 
“Coffee?” 
You shake your head. He shrugs and follows you to the breakfast table.
“I ordered some breakf-”
“Oh, I am not hungry .”
He looks a little annoyed, like he wants to say something but he thinks the best of it and for that you are grateful.
You watch again, as he eats his pancake, a part of your stomach grumbling at you for denying it food. Meanwhile you sip mindlessly on the coffee, disgusted at its bitterness. After breakfast, a blanket of thorn air shrouds around you both and you sit basking in it, watching Wonwoo clear the table, noiselessly wiping down the countertop.
He watches you fiddle with your thumbs and sighs, coming closer to stand next to you.
You can’t keep quiet any longer. You jump right onto it. “Did I do something wrong? Did you not want it? Oh no, you didn’t want it, did you? I just—you had that look and I—”
“Y/N, stop.” Wonwoo clicked his palm against yours, his grip firm but gentle, preventing you from delving further into panic. “You are spiraling .”
“I did like it, alright? Too much. But this isn’t how I wanted it to happen. We should both feel it.”
“Oh, that’s alright. You can take as much as you want from me. What I say doesn’t matter at all.” you softly speak out. 
The shock on his face revealed the depth of your words. His eyes look around your face, waiting for a punked moment. Nothing comes out except your earnesty.
“Okay, we need to talk.”
Still not letting go of your wrist, he carefully led you through his apartment, eventually guiding you onto his bed.
“Sit.” His command was gentle yet firm, and you plopped down on the edge of the bed. 
He sat across from you, eyes intense, leveling you with a look that felt like it could pierce through your defenses.
“What you just did—you can’t just do that, Y/N. That’s not how this works. I want you, and I know you know that. But this—it can’t happen unless you feel it too.”
You remained mute, lost in a sea of conflicting emotions.
“When we like someone, it’s a two way street. Unless both parties enjoy it, you shouldn’t do it. Every time I see you, my heart races- he reaches out, placing your palm against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingers. “I get butterflies. You make me want to work hard to earn your love. You’re smart, kind, and beautiful. Sure, you can be a little aloof, but I find that really cute about you. I can’t do anything with you unless you feel it too. It should never be about me alone. You matter too, Y/N.”
He insists, earnest eyes boring into yours, to drive the point inside.
Words you had never heard before, words that felt foreign. When did you ever matter? Who had you ever mattered to?
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You were suddenly transported back to that sunny day when your brother left. All four feet of you clinging to his leg, pleading for him not to go. At fifteen, you had endured enough emotional abuse from your mother, desperate for him to take you along.
Kicking his foot ,he had sent you tumbling to the ground, and you watched him walk away, backpack slung over his shoulder, leaving you alone. That was never the action of someone who did something to someone who ‘mattered’. 
“Which is why I want to ask, Y/N—do you feel anything for me at all?”
He inched closer, his gaze locked onto yours, a mix of urgency and vulnerability shimmering in his dark eyes. “I need to know,” he whispered. “Because every time I’m around you, it’s like I can’t breathe, and I don’t want to ignore what this could be. It’s eating me alive.”
His hands fidgeted nervously, and he ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain some composure. “I don’t want to pressure you, but... if you feel even a fraction of what I do, please just say something. It’s been driving me crazy, and I just can’t hold it in anymore.”
The weight of his words hung in the air, and he leaned in slightly, searching your eyes for any hint of an answer. “Just be honest with me. Please.”
You-
Your instincts screamed to run away. This level of vulnerability was foreign to you. But your heart demanded you stay.
“When you’re near me, my heart—” you softly whisper, like the words feel foreign to you, staring into his dark, shiny orbs. “It races too. I feel something. I can’t explain it, but there’s something.”
Initially, you had dismissed it as mere attraction. But the more you saw him, the more you realized you felt it? You felt this pull, a gentle tug in your heart that he was here. That he genuinely liked you for you, and that was honestly so confusing. Why would he ever? But also, you liked it. You liked being seen for who you really were, flaws and all, without the masks you usually wore. It was a strange comfort, this connection you were building.
“Please be patient with me. I know I want it, but I don’t exactly know what I want. I had nobody to look up to and learn what love feels like.”
“Honestly, Y/N, if it’s with you, I can always wait, baby. You are worth the wait.”
You froze.
“Oh no, did I say something triggering? I am sorr—”
“What did you just call me?” Your voice quivered, the weight of his words hitting you hard.
“Baby?”
One tear fell, then another, until a torrent of tears cascaded down your cheeks.
“Eomma please, just one hug. All my friends have mom's who hug them. Why can’t you hug me atleast once?” Your eight year old self had come out of the quiz as the only one who had all the answers and had received three gold stars. Holding all three gold stars in huge triumph you held out your report card in hopes that she would put it up near the refrigerator and give you a hug, that being your only demand.Except your mother had thrown the kitchen towel angrily across the table, slammed  a fist on the table and-
“Not now Y/N, I don’t have time for your kiddy games.”
“Earth to Y/N.”
“No one’s ever called me that before.” you finally state. 
“What? Baby?” he recounts.
Yes.
“That’s impossible. What about your parent”- you shook your head fiercely causing him to change his tactics.
“Was that why you were crying love?”
You shakily nod. Is this what catharsis felt like? Crying but empowering?
“Aww love” he cooed. “No one has to endure that alone you know.”
“How about we have some breakfast and then we cuddle and sleep? Your eyes tell you haven’t slept a wink last night”
“I’m not hungry.”
“All right then. I have a plan.
“ I am listening.”
“Let’s cuddle.”
“What is that supposed to do?”
“It is stress relieving. Trust me on this.”
“Are you a cuddler Wonu?”
He looked a bit embarrassed to admit but the answer was there in his actions- crossed out arms and pinkening cheeks. He takes a defensive stance in his next words, A cocky eyebrow perked up. “Maybe? Mingyu gives the best hugs”. He looks off in the distance as he says it, like reminiscing a past memory. 
Lazy grin in, you expect him to unfold. After a squirming session of three seconds total, he comes clean. “Well yesterday I was a little upset and Mingyu was there. And he- well- you know how he is. He gives the best hugs alright! Don’t judge me. If you had to be smothered in his arms you’d know how safe it is! All I am saying is, we could do the same thing. You’ll get to enjoy what a real cuddle session looks like ” 
Never would you have imagined a tall, big man absolutely folding himself at the prospect of recounting a great cuddle session with his ‘homie’. Can’t say you are not enamored though. 
You watch fondly as he fixes the pillows and settles down.
“Come here, he croons out, arm extended and invitingly calling you over. You crawl over the sheets, ready to settle down and hug him, like you’d hug Chuul when she came to your bed at night after a nightmare or when the homesickness hits too hard. 
“What are you doing?”
“Uuhh hugging you?” Were you doing that wrong too? 
“No I don’t mean you hug me , I want to be the big spoon.” 
“What’s a  spoon got to do with hugs?”
His mouth opens wide as he stares at you in shock. Seriously, what is happening?
Wonwoo manhandles you to mold you into the position he wants you to be in, on your side while he engulfs you from the back. The heat radiation at his proximity from your back and the warmth omitting from your heart was cocooning you from both sides.
Wonwoo’s body is solid and comforting, the best combination right now. You softly breath in his familiar scent, the musk of a strong cologne. 
“Is this okay?” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” you replied, a smile creeping onto your face. “It feels nice.”
He chuckled softly, and the sound reverberated through you. His fingers found their way to your waist, gently tracing circles on your skin. The simple gesture sent shivers down your spine, and you leaned back into him, craving more of that warmth.
“See? This isn’t so bad,” he teased, his breath tickling your ear.
“No, it’s really nice,” you admitted, your cheeks flushing slightly.
You both fell into a comfortable silence, the weight of the day melting away as you enjoyed the intimacy of the moment. Wonwoo’s arms felt like a protective cocoon around you, and you found yourself relaxing more with every passing second.
“Just so you know,” he said softly, his voice laced with sincerity, “I’d do anything to keep you close like this. Just come to me , when you have bad days like this . I want to be the one who gets to hear your complaints and worries. I want to be your rock. I want to start loving you , and to show you what love feels like. It’s not the worst feeling in the world, to be vulnerable.”
His words sent your heart racing, and you turned slightly to catch his gaze. The look in his eyes was a mixture of warmth and determination, and you felt your heart swell. In that moment, everything else faded away—your worries, your past—and all that mattered was the warmth of his embrace and the connection building between you.
“Thank you for everything Wonwoo,” you whispered, feeling grateful and vulnerable all at once.
“Always,” he replied, tightening his hold around you, making you feel cherished and safe in his arms.
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You both wake up around midday. Wonwoo pecks your nose and leaves to fend off to do some errands leaving you back on the bed, lethargic at the lack of food catching up to you. 
( TW: Eating Disorder mentioned, unhealthy diet habits mentioned . Reader has an EXTREMELY fucked up mindset against food. Be warned)
He comes back carrying take out in his hand. Great, in your haste you had forgotten to ask him if he had eaten at all. How pretty selfish of you. ‘Typical Y/N’ your mom’s snarky voice entered your head. ‘Always thinking about no one else but herself’.
You watch him unpack the food, setting aside a grand feast of chunky beef ghalbi, a crimson shade of kimchi and white rice sprinkled with furikake. The smell of succulent meat permeates the air and a deep part of you craves for it. It’s been over a year since you last allowed your body to have the luxury to indulge in expensive meat. You watch as he neatly arranges the containers and draws out two plates from the kitchen, along with two wine glasses.  You hope to God he doesn’t ask you to eat with him, you have no active lies to cook up, it’s clear he’s caught onto the pattern. He pops open the wine bottle, fizzing out the soda and you watch as he carefully pours two glasses of wine onto the awaiting cups. 
He beckons you over to the table as he slowly lowers himself , expectantly awaiting your arrival any minute. Not wanting to disrupt his anticipation, you saunter over to him. Maybe you could drink a glass of wine with him and call it a day.
You should know by now Wonwoo was always a step ahead. He pulls out a chair for you , tilting his head expecting your rear to make yourself comfortable and dive into the feast ahead. 
“I already a-” "Sit down, Y/N." His voice is assertive — a rare tone coming from someone as soft-spoken as Wonwoo.
You gulp a bit hoping to save some time and he knocks against your knee pit effectively sending you toppling backwards and into his strong arms. They wind around you and he places a small nip on the lobe of your right ear, nuzzling his nose on your chin.
You watch as his right hand takes out a pair of chopsticks dipping into a plump slice of beef, immersing it in a thick paste of soy red sauce and bringing the meat closer to your mouth. That was held shut. 
 Tight.
You shake your head avoiding the tantalizing piece of meat set in front of you to tempt you into succumbing and eating something.
“Y/N please eat” You shake your head again. You can’t. Why doesn’t he understand?
“I am not hungry” “I call bullshit love, you haven’t eaten anything and your gurgling stomach is testimony to that, no- c-covering it won’t hide those noises , love.”  He teeters between a dominant tone and fits of chuckles at your hurried attempts to muffle the mighty roars your stomach makes at the sight of your favorite food.
“Remember you are nothing more than your face, you are just a caricature of a persona I drew up for you, without this body to assist , you are worthless. So avoid eating at all costs. Your body pays for all the bills here so work hard to remain thin. You got me pig?”When assigning different roles, you were the only one who was given a visual role, the company calling everyone else ugly just because they had failed their weekly check ups. 
During trainee days you were all subjected to the most humiliating ways to check weights . At the end of each week, the CEO would arrive with his side goons for weekly reviews and gift the winner with the lowest weight. In a  truly fucked up mindset, all of you competed for that gift. It was only after your closest friend Julie was taken out of the program by her mother who scorned the system, you realized how young teenagers were suffering from unhealthy eating habits. At the price of your body, you were able to find a leeway in the contract putting a stop to these weight surveys on kids. They still had strict diets but their weight was not monitored as strictly like you had feared. You watched with glee as baby Chuul and Sorin start gaining some color in their cheeks .
The price to pay was Yoonha abhorring you when the roles were given out and she was considered over the weight limit to for the standard rate for a visual (still underweight on a doctor’s scales). That was the day her hate for you grew, she believed you played this to take this opportunity from her. If only she knew the sacrifice you made for her to live out what you wanted to. 
There’s a voice in your head repeatedly warning you to not fall for your cravings and a voice outside it beseeching you to just eat it. 
“Y/N just open your mouth okay? I will feed you, come on now just say ahh. “ You shake your head violently, trying to trickle down from his strong grip. He’s taking none of your nonsense tonight.
“It’s just one bite love. One bite. That’s all. If you don’t like it you don’t have to eat and I won’t force you. “ Yeah it’s just one bite.
Except-
“One bite is all it takes for you to lose the image the group is built on”
The voices in your head were winning this round . 
“Y/N “ He worriedly calls out.
“I can’t. They said I can’t” You finally state.
“Who said you can’t eat baby?”
You melt at the nickname and he smirks against your shoulder.
“Baby, listen to me“ You turn around to look at his eyes, rounded and worry etched at the edges of his soft glance.
“Why can’t you eat baby?” You continue to stare back at him.
‘Are you allergic to meat?” You shake your head.
“Do you not like this?” You shake again. You can’t lie about that.
“When was the last time you ate and be honest with me please”.He implores softly. You can’t help but shed a tear at his soft heartedness. All this harsh exterior but you have yet to meet another man who’s shown this much affection to you.
You refuse to give an answer. It’s probably for the best you think.
Sighing at your silence he shifts you to be a little more comfortable.
“Listen to me. This body you have, all it asks is for a little respect. Just do the bare minimum: feed it something to keep you nourished and moving forward. How are you supposed to make progress if all you do is starve? One bite never harmed anyone, but going several lacks will definitely take a toll.”
You see no lie in his statement despite the several voices of protests in your head.
It’s been four days since you had eaten a bite after the cake you ate last for Mishal’s birthday live. You had offered to throw it out before the staff did, except you and Mishal snuck into a bathroom stall and scarfed the whole thing down, greedily feasting on red velvet gooey deliciousness. 
‘Here just look at the food. Don’t you want to smell it?”
Your eyes watered again at the senses flooding your mouth and eyes, there was an aroma wafting in the air, the glisten of the red beef against the twilight hue percolating through his high rise widows. Placed before you, the dish glistens with saucy goodness, white sesame seeds scattered artfully across the surface, while green scallions are peppered around the edges. You can’t help but yearn for it, your hunger intensifying with every glance. Ignoring the blaring alarms wailing in your head, you finally dive forward and take a nibble of the beef.
Succulent meat falls right off the bone and gets swallowed by your mouth wholly, the caramelized glaze dribbling down your chin.  Wonwoo delicately wipes it away and you moan involuntarily as the taste hits the roof of your mouth.
Wonwoo lets out a throaty chuckle, opting to peck your cheek when a warm blush overtakes your face . You hadn’t meant to do that. 
“That good eh?”
You simply nod, opening your mouth like a baby bird for one more bite pouting at him when he takes too long in your opinion.
‘Coming pretty baby” 
With his tender loving care the hunger in your stomach slowly ebbs away but streams of tears flow down heartily.
 No one has ever fed you as far as you can remember. Your bitchy mother certainly didn’t. Your father was prevented from it. You had always craved an affection so fickle as being fed that when the first person to feed you was a boy who you had sworn to close your heart to, you couldn't help the small cracks that formed. 
Your bites had turned into full on gobbles , hunger overtaking your senses . Seemingly , Wonwoo didn’t seem to mind continuing to feed you despite multiple attempts of objection from your end.
“I am eating too pretty girl , don’t mind me feeding you. Look at your round cheeks filled with food , I can’t help but admire your -“
Ignoring the temptation he comes forward and places a long smooch on your cheek drawing out the long ‘mwah ‘ sound , hoping that with this you can understand just how much he’s in love with you and cares for you .
Your eyes close at the tender gesture, the tears still ebbing. You cannot be bothered to care and wipe them away , the catharsis of just letting go and enjoying something you had denied for so long brings euphoria into your life .
Maybe if you analysed it,  anyone could guess that a part of you was regressing at the affection of being fed by someone else , your mouth still conditioned to opening up every time he brought a bite close to you ,despite the knowledge that you are way over your limits 
When all is said and done , he slouches on the chair taking you with him , causing you to slump on him like a dead weight . You try to take this opportunity to save yourself and heave out the food before the effects of your gluttony shows on your face but he’s quicker than you , bringing his legs around yours, wrapping them around your shin and preventing any methods of escape you had in mind to empty the content of food. 
“Just stay here for a little while more love “
You don’t argue this time after debating with the voices. . It’s the least you could do for your precious body - to feed and nourish overworked organs . The only fodder they had these days was the stress you caused.
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You stick around for a little more time in Wonwoo’s apartment, still not having left the secluded space of his arms. Nobody could ever prepare you for how much of a yapper Wonwoo really was. There you sat, on his lap, filled to the brim with food you loved, watching endearingly as the man you were slowly and quickly catching feelings for, filled every second with his deep rumbly voice talking about his childhood. “And we took Bohyuck to the hospital and that's when he knew shit was up. He confessed right before they injected him, serves him right for lying to us and making Eomma cry. I was worried too-”
Before he could continue with his brother's antics, the door opens and you see someone emerge from one of the rooms. Not really comfortable around others, much less a man such as thee Kim Mingyu, you jump up and quickly bow, your manners never forgotten. 
Wonwoo rushes to follow suit, standing up as Mingu rounds the corner of the countertop making his way to get a  glass of water. You are a little miffed. Mingyu has not acknowledged your presence in the slightest, choosing to ignore your bow or small ‘hi’.
Instead he takes one look at the night suit you were wearing, furthers his head to look at Wonwoo and ask, “Woozi really?” and turns around to leave pronto.
Wonwoo, as though sensing your uncomfort, rubs his chin on your head and tells you to ‘ignore him, he’s just cranky’. 
The dark feeling settles down in you, that you’ve done something wrong. You can’t place what exactly but if Wonwoo tells you to ignore it, what better to than just shrug it off and move forward?
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The next week passes off as some of the best moments in your life. Wonwoo, you were beginning to realize was an absolute sweetheart of a person.
Maybe if you sat down for a single second and pondered, you’d reflect that you were moving too fast too quick, one minute you had started as fake dates, the next minute your heart knew no endless joy like the euphoric high you were riding now in the attention of a boy who has stolen every waking second of your thought.
Wonwoo pampered you like no other, in a way you didn’t think was possible for someone to take care of you. Diets be damned, rules be fucked, under the canopy of his house you both camped in a safe haven basking in each others presence. Night times were your favorite part of the day, you loved being spooned and coddled. Wonwoo, had big muscular hands that wrapped around you, always pulling you close to his chest, the best cacophony of sounds that could push you to blissful sleep .
If not for the demons that rang out in the sanctuary of your mind, riddling you unable to sleep, paralyzing your thoughts and stripping you off peace.
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A.N: my lap crashed y'all! but I wanted to post this fic as my birthday gift and i made it somehow wohoo.. ignore the typos lol, i'll come back and edit. i was racing against time.
if you like the fic please comment, reblog or send an ask! comment below to be added to the taglist
taglist- @skzbangchanniee @everythingboutkpop @fxckingshame @ariananotgrandeee @veryveryveryberry
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luvsophen · 20 days ago
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The romanced Inquisitor and the Redeem ending (Veilguard spoilers)
I often see misunderstandings and critical comments, especially on Reddit, about the role of the Inquisitor in the redemption ending. I want to explain how I see it from a narrative designer's perspective. I'll approach the topic from a broader angle, so I ask for your patience and understanding. Long read.
To understand the ending and why the Inquisitor is written the way they are, we need to revisit Solas's motivation and psychology as presented in the game. Even in “Inquisition”, it’s clear that Solas clings to the past as if it were the ultimate truth. He asks the Inquisitor to prove him wrong, but that idea feels doomed from the start. Just as I thought ten years ago, I still believe that his primary motivation isn’t solely about his people but rather a deeply complex internal crisis. Solas is a complex and layered character, and his motivation should reflect that complexity according to all the rules of storytelling. It’s incredibly unfortunate that the story arc involving the rebellion and the spirits was cut, as this truly simplified his character and didn’t give players a chance to ponder his beliefs more deeply. But we know that this motivation exists in the background and is alive. We only hear about his motivation related to his people, that is, the spirits, in the final choice with Rook. Naturally, the fact that Bioware put his personal regrets and trauma front and center is psychologically accurate, but the player should have come to this conclusion on their own, discovering it themselves. It’s too obvious, but such are the modern trends in storytelling.
Now, regarding Lavellan. The ending with a romanced Inquisitor suffers from the same issues as the rest of the game — lack of variety and exclusive choices.
I see that some people are disappointed with the ending because the Inquisitor's love and pleas were not enough. I assure you, it was never intended to make it enough. If the Inquisitor’s love/friendship had been enough, Solas's story in “DAtV” wouldn’t have even begun. Solas is as immersed in his past as any millennia-old being could be, leaving no room for anything but his burden, guilt, and despair. Left to his own devices, he will always choose the path of least resistance to his trauma, repeating his mistakes in what he believes is for the greater good until he reaches the point of ultimate self-destruction. He is truly a broken man because of all the terrible things he has done and the horrors he has endured.
The point of the storyline was to showcase the depth of his regrets, the weight of his burden and moral downfall. The Inquisitor (friend/lover) affected him in a way that no mortal ever could. Solas runs from them, and there are objective psychological reasons for this beyond simply not wanting to hurt someone he cares about. Lavellan isn’t wrong when she says she could influence Solas. Yes, if they had years and time for such conversations, but that opportunity doesn’t exist. He doesn't leave her a choice and decides for both of them.
The logic of the ending is that you need to peel back Solas's “layers”. In the finale, Solas is deeply wounded and exhausted, and it’s the perfect moment to play on his emotions while he’s so vulnerable. From a dramaturgical perspective, the focus was correctly placed: the present, future, and past must come together to lift the burden from his shoulders, show him a new path, restore his wisdom, and give him a new purpose. This is how the writers envision his salvation without killing him or distorting his spirit.
Rook represents the present — the modern world and its people. And the modern world asks Solas for mercy, pleading with him not to destroy their lives even more, reminding him that more violence won’t make “the flowers” bloom as Solas wishes. Rook delivers the first logical blow: “Who benefits from tearing down the Veil —you or all of us? You’re lying to yourself and drowning in regrets”. Solas knows this, but knowing and accepting are different things for the psyche. That’s why Rook, as a representative of the world Solas aims to destroy for the “greater good”, steps forward first, asking him to reconsider his true motivations. And Solas does ponder. By this point, he’s already filled with doubts, born long ago, but he’s still not ready to make another choice. The massive burden of the past and a graveyard of sacrifices remain on his shoulders. Solas rejects Rook, rejects the desires and opinions of the present, the modern world, just as he always has. As he must. For now.
Then the Inquisitor steps onto the stage. Whether a friend or a lover, the Inquisitor was the first to show Solas during their time together that he was wrong, cracking his convictions. This is especially clear in the letter to his beloved Lavellan.
Look at how he acts in this scene. How he freezes upon seeing the Inquisitor, how he lowers his head and dagger, the sadness and regret on his face, the tears welling up. In Lavellan’s case, he exhales painfully: “Vhenan”. After all these years of separation and his betrayals — “My love, my heart”. For me it was a emotional moment of vulnerability.
The Inquisitor is here to give Solas two things: forgiveness, which Solas cannot grant himself, and a reminder of who he is, who he dreamed of being, offering him a choice for the future. But even these gifts may not be enough for Solas because a person trapped in the past and overwhelming regrets, committed to self-destruction and mass deaths, sees no reason to choose a different future.
He has lost all hope for it. He believes he deserves neither happiness, love, nor forgiveness. And when Lavellan says she forgives him, Solas doesn’t understand why. What’s the point of forgiveness after all he’s done? Look at his face in that scene. He can’t forgive himself. He tries to prove to himself that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness: “I lied, I betrayed you”. The contrast with his self-justifications in “Trespasser” is stark. And yet, she forgives him. It means a tremendous amount to him, and he turns away from this gift in disbelief. It will take years before he truly forgives himself.
This scene is meant to show how deeply he’s sunk into his past, into his own darkness, unable to step back even for the sake of his beloved or a friend, for another path and future. He’s filled with self-justifications.
Solas explains why Lavellan’ forgiveness isn’t enough: “And then I... and then she died for nothing”. No, not because “she/Mythal” died for nothing. Everything he’s been through, everything he’s done to the world—everything—was for nothing if he keeps the Veil. And how can he live with that? All the suffering must be justified. His millennia of fears, pain, and guilt—these are stronger than his feelings for the Inquisitor. This is realistically portrayed, even if it hurts his beloved, even if it hurts you as a player. He can’t release himself from his burden and guilt. He’s come up with a thousand justifications. You hear this throughout the game from Mythal, Ghilan'nain, Morrigan, and so on. Solas is an unreliable narrator.
The present, the future, the past. Mythal is the catalyst for everything. That’s why she has to deliver the final blow, and she breaks him. For the last time. I won’t touch on the ethics of this moment. His entire tragedy began with her; his downfall started with her. He ties all his burdens to her. She embodies all his past and all his pain. Through her more benevolent version in Morrigan, Mythal shares the burden of their joint crimes with him. She doesn’t apologize or express remorse to him but directly destroys his last justification—that it was all for her. She no longer needs it. He is free. The world has suffered for too long, Solas has suffered for too long. It is time to stop. And in the finale, there’s no time for him to create another reason to justify his “delusions” and mass deaths.
Solas no longer has the strength to fight himself, and he agrees to stop. His past, present, and future simultaneously redefine his purpose. Now he has a new goal. This suits him as a spirit bound to serve his purpose. But he can't forgive himself and that's logical. The romanced Inquisitor is here to demonstrate for him immense wisdom and generosity by mortal standards, a deep understanding of Solas's spirit, and the strength of her love for him. It should break through any rational defense of his psyche. He is seen, heard, forgiven, given hope and purpose, his fear of being alone is shattered, and he is loved so deeply that he can hardly believe it. These are all the needs and desires of Solas that we have learned about from the two games. He desperately needed it and Weekes gives it to him with the help of the Inquisitor, his beloved. This is intentional. Solas is so disoriented and broken that he can't say anything to her except to give her a choice, one last chance to turn away from him, because he himself will no longer turn away from her.
Narratively, the Inquisitor, friend or lover, represents a bridge between Solas’s past and future: a factual happy future and a new purpose if you are his lover and leave with him; or you grant him a new purpose, reminding him of who he is, if you do not leave with him or are his friend. Solas faces dangerous work both on himself and on the Blight; this is not a respite.
The Inquisitor, however, will never be freed from their religious and mythical role. This character will always be tied to that role in the story.
Lavellan here embodies almost a religious myth about the great power of love that surpasses all contradictions, a bond stronger than rational reasons. It’s pointless to rationalize, and you won’t find solace in that process — their relationship is meant to be a deeply emotional romance with an irrational, mystical and mythical connection between two lovers.
Lavellan performs a strictly narrative function here, but out of respect for those players who cannot associate themselves with such an Inquisitor, there should technically have been an option to not go with him into the Fade right in that scene, instead of at the tavern.
Narratively, the writers are concluding the arc involving the story of the Evanuris, Solas, the Blight, and the Veil. Above all, the writers focused more on this overarching narrative than on how to incorporate the player's various choices into the plot. Therefore, the canonical character of the Inquisitor takes precedence here — that's how the writers envision this character.
Canonically, The Inquisitor like the HoF, is a hero with a specific, grand purpose in the plot. This is a character who brings order to a world on the brink of madness. They think on a global scale and resolve global conflicts. They don’t create problems, they solve them. The same approach is shown with Solas. He is both a global and personal problem for Lavellan. Solas forces the Inquisitor (any of them) to endure a lot of pain and unpleasantness, turning their life upside down.
Lavellan’s resentments, wounded pride, and sorrow may later be expressed or dealt with differently, but right now, the fate of not only Solas but the world is being decided (quarrels will not help anyone solve the task on a global scale; Lavellan will not be petty, nor will she be too proud, just as she won't think of herself first when faced with the world's fate; she will only think about it once the world is no longer in danger). Lavellan cannot convince Solas, but will keep trying with the influence she has.
Personally, I believe that this type of love (type of the lover) is exactly what Solas needs for his personal growth.
The Inquisitor offers him forgiveness and understanding because that is their role here — to be above it, to be wiser than Solas, to show more mercy, patience, and understanding toward others’ nature and spirit than Solas ever did toward the modern world and mortals. And this is especially valuable for the narrative. Mortals (Rook, the Inquisitor, Morrigan) give Solas what he couldn’t get in the past: the freedom to be himself, and salvation and/or love. This idea is even repeated in the game’s cut files.
According to interviews, Bioware wanted to level the playing field so that any player with any world state/choices could choose the redemption ending — I'm not a fan of this decision from the perspective of character development, but after all, this is a game, not a book story.
I’m not too critical of the Solavellan ending, even though I’m not a Solasmancer; I just like him as an antagonist and a character. I don't find the ending with his solo redemption psychologically credible. I'm sorry they didn't add at least Cole to the game to help him on this painful journey.
In my opinion, Solavellan ending is the best thing that happened in the game for Solas (and in his whole life). At least somewhere, he was given happiness and something he didn’t even dare to hope for.
The game itself is a big disappointment in terms of narrative, but I don’t want to criticize Bioware too much without knowing the reasons why it turned out this way. And for this reason, you should try to look beyond the execution and focus on the content and context of the story to understand the writer’s intent.
Thank you for reading to the end!
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year ago
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Types of obnoxious batfam stans
Written by an obnoxious batfam stan
Not really a rant but something I've noticed over the years interacting in different spaces and I've decided to make your problem now.
Please note that I'm not saying there's any "right" way to be a fan because we all suck by virtue of being comic nerds, but there are certain kinds of batfamily fans that stick out to be in particular.
Anywho, here are 12 kinds of annoying batfam stans that you've probably run into and you better get a laugh out of it *points gun to your head*.
1) The Newbies Who Never Heard of Google
There's no shame in being new to something. It's a phase that we're all guaranteed to go through, whether we're 11 or 101. However, in this day and age, so many things can be easily googled that you don't need to shout every question you have into the VVorld VVide VVoid. If you need comic recs or a reading list, google it. If you wanna know a character's origin story, google it. If you need to know the color of Batman's underpants in a particular issue in 1965... well that's probably too specific for Google but Reddit will definitely have an answer.
2) The Middle School Authors
Before the 13-year-olds get up in my notes, I'm not saying everyone that age writes like this. Middle school is a state of mind. These fanfic writers usually stand out in a few ways.
They're oftentimes first-person POV or reader-insert. Give Y/N a break, she's tired.
The grammar is stunningly atrocious. I get if you're inexperienced or if you're writing in a second language, but we are in the prime era of autocorrect. If you need help, it's right there. Also, fuck c*nsoring b*d w*rds and fuck "unalive."
The characters do things that are out-of-character because the author is projecting their own personality. Bruce Wayne is a lot of things but he does not listen to the fucking Mountain Goats.
There's a lack of experience or research when it comes to certain topics. That's not how physics works. He can't walk that injury off. And that's definitely NOT how you do the horizontal hokey pokey.
3) The Neckbeards
Unfortunately, these basement-dwelling mouth-breathers tainted the image of what a comic fan is, though that's been changing recently. Still, we've all seen them. They gatekeep via pop quizzes, 'cause obviously you're not a real fan unless you know what page 10 of Batman #138 smells like. They give unsolicited commentary on people's cosplays, nitpicking the guys and being gross toward women. And heaven forbid the comics add a little diversity.
4) The Moviegoers
Nothing inherently wrong with getting into the fandom via the movies, nor is there anything wrong with sticking to that. I just feel like we're two different species of Galapagos finches, you know?
5) The Christopher Nolans
Separate from casual fans of the Nolan movies. I'm calling them the Christopher Nolans because these people have a tendency to reach for the grimdarkest thing possible. It's like they cannot fathom Batman having any other emotions besides punching and gargoyle brooding.
6) The Canon Purists
Wanna share a fun headcanon? NO, because Stephanie Brown never used cherry lip balm in the comics so therefore that must be the absolute truth. These people are a stickler for comic accuracy to the point where it's like... why bother interacting with the fandom in the first place? The worst part is when they're adamant on following a single continuity and refuse to consider anything else. This is comics we're talking about. Everything either has been or will be canon at some point.
7) The Fanon Worshippers
On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the people who base their entire perception of the characters on something either they pulled out of their ass or that their mutual with 16 followers came up with, despite evidence directly contradicting it. I love WFA, but I feel like that's partially responsible for further perpetuating certain popular myths. Also, these fans tend to focus solely on the batfam/their ships. It's one thing to have some people in the foreground vs. background, but put some respect to Bart Allen's name you goddamn cheesecakes.
8) The Golden Age Dads
These guys aren't really obnoxious. I actually find it kind of cute how they think Jason Todd is still dead.
9) The Chronically Online
I have a rule of thumb when it comes to discourse: if it's not something I'd hear about at a bar, it's not worth my mental energy. Some people haven't gotten the memo, though.
These are either the well-intentioned but misinformed teenagers or grown-ass adults beefing with children because they don't have a life. They have takes that are oversimplified, rage-inducing, TikTok algorithm attention-grabbers that no one cares about in real life.
Don't get me wrong, we've got a bunch of issues in comics and fandom that are worth discussing. However, there comes a point where you're splitting hairs and need to go the fuck outside. I'm not gonna link the post 'cause I don't wanna call them and their 7 notes out, but the other week I saw someone saying Stephcass was a racist ship because something something colonialism parallel. You gotta be Elastigirl to have that kind of reach.
10) The Corporate Simps
I love comics. I appreciate the writers and artists. However, you will find my carcass in a ditch before you catch me licking the boots of DC/Warner Bros. Basically, these fans, fewer as they are, can't seem to fathom that their favorite franchise can (and does) put out some steaming motherfucking garbage.
11) The Hot Cosplayers
Not actually annoyed, I'm just a little jealous. Stop being hotter than me, please and thank you.
12) The One With A Punchline For Everything
Wait–
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lesbianralzarek · 2 years ago
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tumblr in reddit terms
blogs: personal subreddits where the theme/topic is 99% of the time just “me and whatever the hell i feel like at the moment”. for reference, the most common other theme rn is “wizard roleplay that never breaks character”
reblogs: crossposts. these are crucial to maintaining tumblr’s ecosystem. due to blogs generally having fewer followers than subreddits have subscribers, this is the way that posts get seen and passed around. the vast majority of posts on a person’s blog tend to be reblogs, so if the people you follow dont reblog a whole lot, your dashboard is gonna be a ghost town. post limit (combined total of reblogs and original posts per day) is 250, so feel free to go hog wild
tags: this one is complicated. theyre a combination of flairs and Comments But Low-key. you can use them for organization and to avoid seeing content you dont want to (go to your blog, settings, account settings, content you see, and then add tags you want tumblr to warn you about before seeing it). if op tags the post #reddit (in the tags, not the body of the post), itll show up in the #reddit tag when anyone searches that tag. tags are also used for comments that dont really add anything to the post. you know how a jpeg gets kinda gross when its been through a million screenshots and has ifunny watermarks and shit? thats what adding “lmao same” as a comment does to a post. comments stay on reblogs, while tags show up in 4 places: op’s notifications, the notifs of whoever you reblogged it from, when someone clicks on the “notes” button of a post and actively looks for the tags left on it, and when people view your specific reblog of the post (like a follower would on their dashboard)
likes: upvotes but weaker. almost everyone turns off all the algorithms (settings, account settings, dashboard preferences, toggle off the first 3 options. also, make sure your dashboard is on "following" and not "for you". this is highly recommended), so leaving a like doesnt boost the post in any way. they still matter to some people. you can also use them to bookmark a post and go back to your likes later
enthusiastic and/or hyperbolic tags: reddit gold. you wanna let op know you like their art? leave something like ”#printing this out and stapling it to my forehead #op you wanna get married?” in the tags
pornbots: both reddit and tumblr have an issue with them. we block and report them on sight. they usually have hot women as their icons, no posts or reblogs, and a description like “22, brazil, nurse <3″. try to not look like that if you dont wanna get blocked by everyone you follow
blocking: you have this as well, but it seems like a bigger deal on reddit. the reason we are not twitter is because we block bitches who annoy us and move on with our day. do not feed the trolls
things we dont have:
karma: clout-chasing is The Most embarrassing thing you can possibly do on this site. we are all in this circus together and the clown who gets the most laughs is still a clown. popular users will literally deactivate sometimes because clout is a burden. no one here makes money
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jeonginslefthand · 6 months ago
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Morning Flowers 💐
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Pairing: FlowerShopOwner!ChoiSan x Reader  Genre: Little shop of horrors AU/Fluff Word Count: 2.2k+ Plot Summary: You’ve recently heard rumors about a mysterious flower shop that just opened up. You decide to go check out the shop wanting to get some new plants for your home. Little do you know the owner catches your attention more than the store (and possibly your heart) Warnings: Depictions of self-harm towards the end (reader discretion is advised!!), slight mentions of murder A/N: Part one of my first series is here! I was thinking about the time San said that if he wasn’t an idol he would be a flower shop owner. Not only is that very fitting, it also makes a great fic idea. Also spicing up the idea making it Little Shop of Horrors related cause I love the musical a lot. I’m not sure how many parts I plan to make with this but enjoy the first chapter!  Little Shop on 8th Street Masterlist Ateez Masterlist
~~~
“This looks like the place…” you softly say to yourself as you drive past a flower shop. You find a parking spot near the shop and prepare to go inside. 
You didn’t even know there was a flower shop this way until your friend brought it up on last night’s FaceTime conversation. She told you about the rumors coming from the shop. Certain customers would disappear after a few visits with the shop being the last place they were seen at. In the moment you laughed and brushed it off as a silly conspiracy theory, but you got a little curious after the call. You looked into the shop further and found no actual evidence. There was only word of mouth and conspiracy Reddit threads on the topic. Still, you needed some new plants for your apartment so you decided to check out the shop the next day. 
And here you were now. Standing in front of the flower shop with a sign in bright red letters “Little Shop on 8th Street.” An interesting name for a flower shop. You walk inside the flower shop taking in the scenery inside. It looks like a typical flower shop with different types of flowers in glass displays, other plants scattered around the shop as decoration, and flower food and tools neatly lined up on the shelf displays. It does live up to its name not being a big shop, but the setup makes the inside feel like a plant nursery. You also noticed that not all the products were flowers looking at the green plant displays. You look around some more, feeling overwhelmed by the options around you. 
You find yourself drawn to a bouquet of yellow flowers. The flowers look like they had just bloomed and have a faint smell of apricot. 
“Beautiful aren’t they?” You hear a voice behind you say. You jump at the sound of his voice and turn to face the man as your eyes meet
You start to examine the man that came up behind you. He’s tall and muscular with his hair colored black. The hair is slicked back with some strands sticking out framing his face, which you move to next. His face has many sharp features but his smile softens those features. He has a warm gentle smile, a smile that comforts you, makes you feel secure. You move down to notice his nametag that says “San” decorated with flowers and Sanrio stickers. 
“Sorry to startle you,” San says breaking you from your trance. “I noticed you were staring at these flowers for a while.” 
“Yeah, they’re beautiful. Can you tell me more about them?” you say, stumbling on your words a little in the process. 
“Of course! These lovely flowers are begonias. They make great houseplants and are great to put by windows. They love the sun and tropical climates the most. You may have noticed they smell a little like apricot. They tend to emit that scent during the summer season. If you’re wondering how long they last, typically 2-3 years. It all depends on where you grow them and how you care for them!” 
You notice how San’s face lights up as he explains the simple flowers in front of you. You can tell he’s passionate about his work and knows a lot about the subject. 
You walk over to another batch of flowers that caught your eye. “What about these?” you ask pointing to the purple flowers. 
“Those are African Violets! They are one of my favorites here. They also make great houseplants and respond well to room-temperature environments. If you are considering getting these, just keep in mind the soil must be evenly moist. And avoid getting water on these cute fuzzy leaves. They won’t be fuzzy anymore and will turn an ugly brown color. I also have some in a ruffled pattern and a white color pattern. Highly recommend these especially if you’re looking for an easy plant to grow.” 
“Oh, nice!!” You take note of those flowers for later and move on to the plant next to them. “These also look interesting.” 
“That is a pothos plant! I love the multi-colored leaves on this plant. It can help add some variety if you have a lot of solid green plants. These are also low maintenance. They only need to be watered once or twice a week. They also grow great in low-light environments. If you’re looking to use them as a house decoration, I would recommend hanging them up for the best results!” 
You continue talking with San about the different plants in the shop and he eagerly explains every plant you ask about. You aren’t completely clueless about plants, but you love hearing him explain each type of plant and how to take care of them. The way he explains everything with passionate energy makes you smile and intrigues you enough that you want to hear more. Eventually, the conversation moves away from plants and you begin to learn about San. 
He tells you that he’s moved around for years now. He owns the shop (no wonder he knows so much) and has mainly lived in big cities.
“I don’t like the cities that much. I get a lot of customers, but it’s overwhelming living in large cities. That’s why I wanted to move to a smaller town. It’s so peaceful and I have more time to care for my plants properly,” San explains. 
“I understand. It’s the only reason I haven’t moved out of here yet. This town is a bit boring at times, but the peacefulness makes up for it,” you respond. 
San starts to ask about you as well. You tell him about how you’ve lived in this town your whole life and are jealous that he got to explore many different places. You start talking about your job a little and about your hobbies. The conversation flows so naturally you forget what you came in for in the first place. You find out you and San have very similar interests, especially when it comes to Sanrio products. 
“Between us, I have a huge collection of Sanrio plushies. They are nice to sleep with and I love the cute character designs.” San tells you.
“Oh same with me! I collect a whole lot of plushies and fuzzy toys. Don’t tell anyone this, but I used to be a big Furby collector back in the day.” 
“No way! Seriously? You used to collect those creepy little birds?”
“They aren’t creepy, they were adorable to me at least! And I sold most of the ones I owned a long time ago. I still have a few left I keep for sentimental reasons.” 
“Never knew why people liked those things so much. Isn’t it weird that they stare right into your soul? Who knows what evil things they could be plotting behind those eyes.” 
You laugh hearing San’s response. “Well, it’s not like they were going to take over the world or overthrow the government. Although, it would be funny wouldn’t you think? A Furby revolution?” 
“Alright, no more Furby talk. Have you decided which plants you want for your house?” 
Right, you came in here to buy plants, not to chat it up with the store owner. Although, you weren’t sure if you wanted to buy anything anymore. You wanted an excuse to come see San again. But you would feel bad if you didn’t get something, especially after he talked a lot about these plants. You end up getting seeds for the African violets and a succulent plant you saw. You also get the soil and pots you need for the plants and head to the register to check everything out.
“Anything else I can get you? Maybe some plant fertilizer from our selection here?” San says as he gestures towards the glass display at the register. 
“Oh, that’s alright!” You respond. But you’re thinking to yourself “Maybe I can get your number and a date—” being very careful to not say it out loud. 
“Great! Then here is your total for everything. Just follow the instructions on the keypad.” 
You tap your card to pay for your new plant materials. As San is processing the payment you notice out the corner of your eye a door with a glass window. Through the window, you vaguely see a plant that you don’t think you saw anywhere in the store. You don’t think you’ve seen that plant in your life. You’re curious and turn to San. “What’s the plant in the room over there? Why isn’t it out here with the rest of the plants?” 
San freezes. It seems he wasn’t prepared to answer that question. Or maybe he forgot about the plant in the room across from the register. Whatever it was, he took a breath before answering.
“Oh, that is… a special plant of mine. It’s one of a kind but it grows like a weed so I try to keep it away from the rest of the plants. Trust me that’s… not a plant you want in your home. Or anywhere…” San hesitantly answers. His answer about the plant was different from his other answers. The answer didn’t have the same passion he had before. It seemed that he didn’t want to talk about the plant. You decided not to question him further and take your stuff off the register. 
“Please come back again! I enjoyed talking with you today!” San says before you leave. 
“Same here! I will definitely be back. I’d love to hear you talk about these plants more!” You respond smiling. 
You walk out of the shop realizing you were in there longer than you thought. Thankfully you went in the morning so it was late afternoon when you finally left the shop. You get back in the car with your new houseplant projects. You recount the day you had with San and didn’t find anything suspicious about the shop other than the weird room with the seemingly large plant. Although it was weird San was reluctant to answer the question about the plant, it wasn’t anything that rang any alarm bells. Maybe it was just an annoying plant. You drive off to your home, excited to add these new plants to your collection, and your mind on the pretty flower shop owner San.
~~~
San has a couple more customers come in after you leave. After the last customer leaves it’s evening time and San officially closes the shop and locks the door. He then goes to the back room, the room with the plant you had asked about.
“Finally you’re back! You got any fresh meat for me?” The plant says as San walks into the room. 
“No, I don't have any real food for you today. You’re going to have to suck it up and take my blood today.” San responds, seeming very annoyed.
“Aww come on! All those customers and not one you’re willing to sacrifice?” 
“I hope you realize that some people are starting to get suspicious. I can’t pick any random person to feed to you.” 
“Tough titty.”
San rolls his eyes as he picks up a knife nearby and cuts into his left arm. He holds the arm above the plant as the plant sucks up all the blood dripping from San. 
“I can’t survive on your blood forever. I need real human meat soon!” The plant says.
“You’ll get your ‘real food’ soon I promise. I have to lay low for a little while. I think someone filed a missing persons report on the last person I gave you. Probably what’s started all the rumors online.” San says as he gets bandages to wrap over his arm. 
“What about that girl that came in here earlier asking about me? The Furby girl?” 
“You heard that??”
“I hear everything. This shop ain’t that big sweet cakes.” 
“Fair. And no, under no circumstance are you allowed to even touch her.” San starts to get more annoyed with the plant at the mention of you.
“But, she would taste delicious. Could last me at least a week and a half!” 
San’s annoyance starts to turn into anger. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way about you. He just met you today, yet he can’t get you out of his mind. And he was just starting to get to know you, he doesn’t want that to disappear. He finishes wrapping the bandage around his arm and walks to the plant.
“If you do as much as lay a vine on that girl, I will not hesitate to rip out your roots and chop up every part of you until there is nothing left. Am I clear?” San says in a more sinister tone.
“Hmph, fine. Better fetch me a finger-licking good meal flower boy.” The plant responds in a condescending tone. 
“Goodnight Audrey.” 
San walks out of the room and heads to his apartment above the flower shop. He lands on his couch exhausted, wondering why he’s still taking care of that plant. But all of that doesn’t matter. All San is hoping as he drifts to sleep is that you don’t become his next victim, no matter the cost.
~~~ Want to read more? Maybe you'll enjoy part 2 If you enjoyed consider leaving a like, reblog, and/or comment! It means a lot and I appreciate it! If you would like to be on the taglist for this series let me know in a comment 🩷
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moonrisecoeur · 1 year ago
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compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy
author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!
wc: 5k
content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds
warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!
as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.
but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.
it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.
introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!
you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.
because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?
this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.
whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.
except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.
you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.
you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.
you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.
but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.
as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.
“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”
i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.
you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…
it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..
you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.
he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”
you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.
it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.
in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.
“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.
that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.
you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.
“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”
“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.
“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.
you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.
you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.
the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.
truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.
you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.
you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.
“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.
you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.
you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.
you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”
a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.
but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.
“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.
you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.
he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.
“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.
the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.
“leon?”
“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.
“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”
it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.
as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.
leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.
but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.
you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.
“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.
leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.
“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”
“..what?”
“you heard me,” you say. and he did.
something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.
“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”
he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.
leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.
for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.
“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”
he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.
you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”
your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”
“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”
“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”
“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”
“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.
“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”
he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.
sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.
he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.
your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”
“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”
manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”
“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.
you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough
of his mind left to be bothered.
lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”
“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.
“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”
he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.
“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.
instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.
“can.. i, ma’am?”
you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”
he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.
leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.
but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.
he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.
he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.
and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.
“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.
he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.
“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”
he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.
you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.
“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.
of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”
“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.
“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”
“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.
“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…
“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,
resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”
you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”
“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.
“you know.. about the mind control.”
he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”
“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”
“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?
you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.
you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.
you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.
“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”
“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.
it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.
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wonderfull-star · 5 months ago
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I want to discuss one more thing related to the topic of the previous post.
I decided to write my previous post from Tumblr on Reddit and as I expected, people started writing to me about where I was wrong (even though I know all this very well and I just decided to write my point of view).
First of all, yes, I know that not everyone has such a concept as a "dream job" and not everyone loves their job, this is obvious. But if we take into account Peri, then such a concept as a "dream job" is clearly present for him. Yes, this does not mean that he is completely bad at it or that his "current job" (no longer) does not at least partially bring him pleasure. But I think that deep inside this job is clearly not what Peri REALLY wanted and in his thoughts he asks himself the question: "is this really worth it?" or "am I really ready to do this all my life?".
So why did he decide to take the "unwanted" job? Because of social pressure. Think about it. Peri is essentially the most popular in fairy world. He is the first baby born in many thousands of years. Everyone is counting on him, including his parents. So it is understandable that over the years Peri developed perfectionism and a desire to be the best in everything. And so the desire to take his "dream job" immediately disappeared, thinking that by doing so he would not live up to his parents' expectations in the first place.
And people on Reddit seriously think that Peri cared about Dev from the very beginning? Like he just got his first job that requires SERIOUS responsibility and experience and people really thought that at that moment Dev was the first thing he thought about?? In the very beginning Peri was probably happy because he finally got a real job officially becoming an adult. And in the finale, Peri told Dev that he "cared about him," probably not because he cared about him that much, but rather because he felt guilty since he knew he was wrong too.
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rosesnwater · 1 year ago
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Content Warnings and A Lesson From Lore Olympus
As some of you may know, I write a comic, which i occasionally post about here. I'd like to address a conversation around creators and content warnings in this post as well as the general tremd of authors overstating whats happening in their story. I've seen it come up recently in webtoon discourse within my own comic.
So first off, right after my three page prologue I have an authors note that details all the topics my comic will be going into throughout the course of the story.
It follows:
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These are ALL the issues I tackle within the comic and I leave it here so people can decide whether they want to continue with the story. I have labeled my story as mature. There is a warning when anyone accesses the comic for the first time on both Webtoons and Tapas. I also have warnings that come in three degrees that I place before each episode that handles one of the mature themes I mention. However, what I don't do is tell the reader what they're going to see before they see it. I don't like doing this for a couple reason, some of the most important being, I think makes the story redundant because it's already explaining what's going to happen and this in turn disrupts the narrative.
I understand why people feel strongly about warnings and making content safe on a platform with a young audience. However, seeing as this is a work I have invested a considerable amount of time in, that I'm offering for people to enjoy (which i enjoy doing), I believe it is important I tell the story in my own way.
When you pick up a book you may get a warning in the synopsis (although I find this is rare) or in other people's online reviews of the book BUT you have to go looking for those reviews. As a creator I can only testify to my own experience, but like novels, comics are stories and in my own work, the story should NOT be bisected by warnings expressly stating what's going to happen in each episode.
I feel this speaks to a general increased uninvolvement in the material readers are reading and a lack of reading comprehension to the point authors think it necessary to guide their audience through their story.
There has been a decent amount of discourse in the UnpopularLoreOlympus reddit thread about readers reading comprehension. It is now common practice to have images like the one bellow before an episode.
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On more than one occasion Rachel has put warning paragraphs at the end of her episode stating without any subtext what EXACTLY a character meant during the episode, even though readers would ideally understood the subtext as communicated by the narrative.
And before that she would have warnings signs like this before episodes where the content would be present:
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The above warning is actually quite common amongst comics but it should NOT be required by the audience. If an author is doing their job, they'll have the proper box ticked off when submitting their webtoon
SPOILERS FOR MANY WORKS OF FICTION.
No one tells you at the beginning of jane Eyre that there will be violence, death of children, and abuse, let alone where these incidents will occur.
The hunger games won't warn you before the start of a chapter that there will be starvation or gruesome depictions of character death or content describing mental illness.
Most movies will have warning before the whole movie but they won't briefly cut out of the narrative to tell you what's about to happen and people shouldn't expect comic artists to do this either.
As a comic creator i am rellyng upon my audience's discretion to decide on whether or not a story is safe for their consumption. However, I'm adamant in my own work that that's where my required involvement ends.
I will explain things in the comments or answer reader questions, i will be happy doing so because i get to engage with people on something Ive spent hours creating. I will go onto my discord and jump into the deep world building or explain a particular scene, but this should not be required.
Holding authors accountable for going thoroughly over the controversial issues every episode they post is unreasonable and honestly (for me) damaging to the creative work. We end up with situations like lore olympus where authors are there to explain every warning and subtext to the audience without any work on the readers part.
I know this may be controversial to some, but as a creator, it's something that's bothered me for a while and something I think we should be able to talk about in the artistic community.
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oldfaneworld · 2 months ago
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I need some clarity.
I don't know how I want to start this so I'm going to ramble this out. The discourse around Lanolin is something I don't really get in all honesty. The plot we have been following since the beginning of The Misadventure arc isn't anything new. The Fandom has dealt with trickery and guile before so I don't understand why this is such a hot topic to begin with. I have a few ideas why it's a hot topic and I'll touch on it soon but first I want to make this very clear. Looking back at the few posts I have on this website, I think I've made It very clear that Lanolin is my favorite character in all of the idw run. I can say this with my chest she is tied as my number 2 favorite character in this franchise with Bunnie d'coolette from the Archie run of the comics both reboot and pre-boot. My number 1 being Sonic from the story book games specifically the sonic and the black knight game.
I have only ‘recently’ gotten back into being a fan of the franchise about a year ago and most of that time has been me sitting down quietly playing Forces, Frontiers, Shadow Generations and reading first the entirety of the Archie run of the Sonic comics and then later the IDW run of the Sonic comics(i’ll get to fleetway soon i’ve just haven't gotten there yet). As for someone who’s been quiet for most of this time, seeing the Lanolin discourse flare back up because of the Riders arc is very interesting to me.
The big thing that gets me about the majority of it feels disingenuous to me from both sides. I am someone who has been very lucky to have patient friends that are willing to listen to me for a few hours on end talking to them about all of this. I am a Lanolin defender if it wasn’t already clear, so to my fellow defenders please don't go out of your way to call people misogynist(its true that there are some who are, but please be a bit more tactful when you do it) just because they don't like Lanolin. More often than not you're just throwing the wrong label at someone and it’ll just make things worse and poison the water for everyone. To those that dislike Lanolin you need to cool your jets just as hard, calling for violence to be done to her and to kick her out of the comics entirely because she’s been tricked is wild to think about especially because we have characters that are beloved that have been tricked and done way worse then she has that never received this kind of backlash. 
My reason why I think Knuckles, Silver and Shadow haven’t received the same kind of backlash Lanolin currently has is for a few reasons. The first is because all of their mistakes they’ve done have been nearly a decade ago if not longer so there's so much real time that buffers them from receiving such a backlash on top of that. Also we didn't necessarily have places like twitter, tumblr, or reddit back then like we do now.
The biggest reason why I think Lanolin is getting so much backlash where the others never did was (knuckles got it the worst but in the end it was turned into a gag) because of the medium her story is being told in. Everyone else was in a game Knuckles (S3&K, SA1, SA2), Silver (06), Shadow(SA2)  in comparison to Lanolin her’s is in the comics. A medium that is way slower than that of the games, just because of the nature of how long it takes for an issue to come out not including any delay. So I honestly think because of the slowness of comics in general people were allowed to sit and let an annoyance at best (in a games case) fester to hate (because of the comics timeframe).  A sonic game can be done at fastest in a few hours (forces) or a month (Frontiers) and that's not including 100 precenting a game. where in the comics Lanolin’s arc is taking longer than a year and a half and it's still going. 
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Comparing her story to the three above we are what 2/3rds ¾ of the way through her personal arc about learning how to be a new leader and the challenges that brings, especially when she’s forced to make a choice that feels right in the moment but is wrong in the long term. People saying you can't compare her arc to Silver, Shadow or Knuckles is being dishonest in my book. The only difference in the way the arcs works is that the three’s arcs are done and hers isn't. Silver and Knuckles were tricked by their villains respectfully and Eggman and Mephiles nearly won because of it. Once they realized what they did they worked just as hard to fix what they messed up. Shadow was ruled by revenge allowing himself to work with eggman so he could get closer to the Ark to get rid of the Earth but Amy and others were there to open his eyes and it nearly cost him his life to fix what he allowed his rage to start.
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So we know we aren’t done with Lanolin’s arc yet so why is there so much hate? We are just starting with her being redeemed. Why are people so adamant with burying her? I can't imagine another character in this moment of the comics that deserves her redemption more than her. She’s been here since issue 2 of the run and has been working hard in the background since, to get where she’s at and with her first real mistake and people want to tear all her accomplishments away from her. I don't get it? What I do get is having a casual dislike for her because of the way she talked to Silver and Whisper(misadventure) and Sonic and crew(Riders).
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With all of what I have said, can someone please explain to me what I'm missing? Even in the newest issue when she is at her lowest she puts herself in the same position she put Silver in! She gave Tangle and Whisper the same power as before to vote her out because she knew she messed up and she’s not holding herself above any of the consequences she placed on other people. This is admirable she messed up and is willing to lose maybe her only chance to make a real difference in her world instead of doubling down and trying to make herself look right.
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soullessjack · 1 month ago
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i’m probably bedridden until monday with my stomach bug so now is a perfect opportunity to start truthing about local-Lebanon-cryptid jack. for starters, i think jack would really fit those spooky Reddit videos on YouTube about strange encounters with people that were so strange it left the person wondering if they’d met something entirely nonhuman.
like, every time he’s spotted in town, he’s doing some relatively normal stuff—“grocery”shopping (if beer and candy bars count as groceries, anyways), hanging out in a diner, etc. nothing he does is out of the ordinary, and again he’s very friendly and approachable, but he’s still just. Off.
he always shows up seemingly out of nowhere, with no car or ride to be seen
he either never has any ID on him, or has ID that changes every time he shows up, with the same face and a different name (one that oddly matches a famous person each time, too).
he always has this underlying nervousness about his demeanor too, like he’s trying not to get caught with something, or like he’s trying to avoid the conversation going to a specific place, but there’s almost never anything that it could be. and then there’s the fact that, when it comes to anything pop-culture-y, or any news about the world, he seems genuinely unaware of everything. he could rattle on about some pretty dated movies he watches “at home” (wherever that is, bc all he says is that it’s ‘outside of town’ ), or the even more dated classic rock records he owns in his room, but he wouldn’t be able to tell you one artist on the radio or anything else like that. he talks about it all like an alien who just discovered what Hollywood is and is very pleased to be learning so much about the planet.
overall he seems too normal, too innocuous, like he’s trying way too hard to put on that appearance and is constantly worried that somewhere, somehow at some point the “illusion” will shatter. what’s decidedly strange, is that for all his lacking in most of the normal world, he seems to know quite a bit about everything else — monsters, the occult, magic, theology, crime cases, even dead languages and cultural rituals. he doesn’t seem like he ever went to school for any of these subjects, but he’s well educated nonetheless. whenever you get the conversation over to any of these topics he loses the awkward, cringy disposition and goes on forever. “how does he know all this?”you’re very likely to ask. “well,” he’ll say, with more of the awkward refrain again, “it’s sort of my family’s business.” but will he indulge on what exactly that business is? no. it’s one of those suspicious conversations you can tell he’s trying to avoid.
In fact, he won’t even really go into detail about who his family is, aside from the fact that it’s comprised of 3 other men all living out of town together, whom he sometimes watches old movies with on Tuesday’s. but the only people you know of that live on the outskirts of Lebanon are those creepy middle-aged guys with the classic black car and shotguns who are also supposedly serial killers. and one of your classmates, max, actually met them all — supposedly her meeting with two of the older guys involved John Wayne Gacy’s ghost trapped in a box, but she absolutely refuses to talk about what happened with this “Jack” guy. her and her girlfriend Stacey. as if that isn’t weird enough, on the occasion that jack happens to cross paths with the two, he supposedly goes out of his way to avoid them, but seems visibly more distraught about it. unfortunately, much like them, he won’t talk about it either.
all in all, ever since this “jack” guy and his “family” popped up outside Lebanon, weirder and weirder shit has kept happening. and not just deja vu weird, like. Horror Movie weird. creature sightings, the dead rising from their graves, whatever else you can think of—and one thing’s for certain. no matter what, that “family” is always at the scene of the crime, jo matter how much they like to keep their distance from the rest of the town.
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bambamramfan · 10 months ago
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Community Building Secrets
A couple weeks ago the SSC reddit had a discussion "If people want a community so much why aren't we creating it?" I found it really odd since it comes from a place of "here is why community building doesn't happen" and you can tell that in the tone of the comments.
But obviously communities are being made, every day. (There is a secondary problem which is that all communities have some problems - drama, eventual collapse, inequitable burdens, exclusivity, cults of personality, problematic members, etc - but they do EXIST, and presumably people want them despite knowing that problems of some form are likely if not inevitable.) It would be like a reddit thread on "why does no one date" despite, you know, a lot of people dating out there.
So a more legit question would be "why are our community efforts not succeeding? What is the difference between our efforts and the communities that are made."
I don't have nearly all the answers to all their questions, but reading it and thinking on the topic let me crystalize some thoughts I've had for a long time. Thoughts that are very important about how communities start, and how they go forward. I'll put them below the fold.
The Golden and Iron Laws of Communities
The Golden Law of Communities is that you need something shiny to start the kernel of any community. It is nominally the thing the community is "about", but even when it's not explicitly that, it's still the hook that gets people interested.
It could be "we have the word of God and this is how to avoid Hell." It could be "we are all descended from this sacred bloodline." It could be "Sharon hosts dinners and her husband is an executive chef so they are amazing." It could be "this famous blogger is part of the community and you'll get to meet them." It could be "we talk about and run alternative theater." It could be "there are lots of sexy young people and who knows what might happen." It could be drugs, going to water parks, arguing about charities, talking about politics, a favorite scifi author, watching black and white movies, speedrunning videogames, a particularly charismatic founder of the group, or any damn thing.
But you can't just say "hey everyone, let's have weekly dinners and help each other babysit or play boardgames, because community is nice." You have to advertise (even if just by word of mouth) a short idea that motivates people to want to get in on that.
Got that? Can you admit that dark truth? Okay we can move onto the second law.
The Iron Law of Communities is that the thing the community is about doesn't matter.
Two seconds after you have enough people in your group to begin enjoying themselves, someone will ask if they can invite their friend "who is totally cool but aren't really into X" where X is the thing in the Golden Law. Or someone will invite the people in the community to a completely generic event that has nothing to do with X - because they're cool people and you're enjoying hanging out.
And that's... fine? Like you might say yes or no to the request, but either way it will start happening, and your group will do the same things and have the same type of people and same discussions as every other group. Your identity that separates you from other people will dissolve away slowly. (In very official institutions, this will take the form of adjacent informal activities.) Congratulations, you have now made a Community with the potlucks and babysitting share-schedules and networking and incestuous dating drama.
There are of course, communities that fight against the Iron Law harder than others, but it just doesn't really matter. They're just as likely to wither and die as any community eventually, and if they had admitted those adjacent people that wouldn't hasten that day. Most of the communities you see have plenty of "members who don't care about X, are just here for the people/stuff."
If everyone was coming to the events just to see some famous blogger or sparkling charismatic leader, they would soon find out they get very little face time with that person, but there are other people around, and they're fun, and they'll start coming back for those other people and the group activities.
There's a running joke that no matter WHAT your Discord server is about, eventually they'll make a #politics channel, then an #nsfw channel, then a #nsfw-hardcore channel, etc etc. And that's where most of the chatter will take place in, eventually.
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brownsugar-dreams · 9 months ago
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Another Approach To Online Sugaring
Recently I took a break from dating. The dating apps can get exhausting and sometimes you’re just not in a place where you have the physical/emotional energy to get dressed up and go out. I didn’t want the money to stop, so I decided to start camming again but only for online sugar dating(OSD)/girlfriend experience (GFE). It’s been such a success I decided to make a post about it.
When I reactivated my no face cam accounts, I started casually talking to users in my chat rooms. There were a good share of users who just want to chat. If you have an outgoing personality, this is really easy and comes natural. We would talk about all sorts of things from what they do for work/fun, casual interests, kinks. I’d tell them stories, my POVs on pop culture topics, fantasies, made up stuff. At this point I noticed specific users were tipping in the general chat. I focused on those users and made sure to show them the most attention and they continued to tip. They’d often initiate a private session (more $ per min) and we’d continue chatting.
If you’re consistent with signing in at least 1-2x a week, it’s easy to find someone who adores you. I created a Snapchat (SC) profile and advertised it on my cam site as a way for users to connect with me 1:1. Set it up so they have to pay to get the username. Using SC, I posted no face pics with a link to my wishlist/cashapp and sparingly answered messages (mostly messages inquiring about pricing/services never free endless chatting). Later I created a price menu for services offered and shared that from time to time on my story. Once a relationship is established, it’s super easy to straight up ask for money. Since they met you on a paid cam site they already know what’s up so don’t let anyone pretend to be naive or use your time for free.
Overall this has been a flexible way to earn money that is relatively easy and low maintenance. Most of these clients are lonely and desperate for female attention so making each feel special is the key.
Things to Note/Logistics
I personally don’t show my face by having the cam positioned from the neck down. But other no face cam girls have talked about using full or half face masks to conceal their identity. Given the nature of “professionalism” in our fields I can understand a lot of us wanting to preserve our identities. But do what you’re comfy with! I’d suggest no nudity in free chat otherwise users will be less likely to pay for private.
Each cam site is different and pays differently. Most let you adjust your price settings as you like. I researched the sites with the most consistent/quickest payout schedule and reputation by searching Reddit posts and cam girl forums. I picked my favorite sites shared below.
To maximize earnings, I stream multiple sites at a time by opening tabs. Some use OBS software but I haven’t had the time to figure out how to incorporate that yet.
I changed the settings to allow only users with money to participate in chat. This helps reduce hecklers and incels looking for a free show.
Sites have varying popularity during different times/day. Keep that in mind when starting out so that you can develop a schedule. We’re busy professionals irl so making sure to cam on days/nights that have the most earning potential saves a lot of time.
Different clients have different needs so it’s important to be flexible and only take on clients you’d be comfortable with. I have clients that want me to be bossy and mean while others want a more traditional GFE where they’re the caretaker (think MTS “daddy am I your baby” type of thing lol).
Tips to Earn More
Share your wishlist in your bio across platforms. I like to use throne.
Create a links page and share to let your big spenders get notified when you’re online. I use beacons
I use sextpanther to supplement on weeks that are too busy to cam. I love the convenience of texting and it yields good money.
If you want to incorporate toys in your private shows when you’re starting out, use Aliexpress to order cheap toys. Eventually when you gain a consistent following, I suggest making the guys pay for anything they’d like to see you use and of course non sexual gifts for you too!
Keep a list/diary of users to keep track across platforms. Make note of their interests/kinks/imp things they’ve shared so you can refer to it during sessions.
Successful Cam Sites: CB CS
Keep working towards your goals!😘❤️✨
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pintsizeninja · 2 months ago
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The Genesis of a Ship
Since I'm not posting a new chapter of my Odin/Zane fic this week, I figured I'd take some time to highlight why I started shipping them in the first place!
It's no secret I fell madly in love with Poets of the Fall, and Marko Saaresto (young Odin) in particular, after playing through We Sing for the first time a few days after Alan Wake 2 released. I hadn't written fanfic in 10+ years, but like a lot of folks in this fandom, AW2 inspired me to pick up the proverbial pen again. I knew I wanted to write a fic from young Odin's POV and have it set in the 1970s during the Old Gods' heyday - I just needed a pairing.
When I learned Sam Lake provided his bff Marko with poems to help him craft the lyrics for "Late Goodbye" and all the OGOA songs, something clicked deep in my brain. That was it: Thomas Zane and Odin Anderson would collaborate on a project together, Zane would provide Odin with poetry to write songs that would bring his artistic vision to life - and sparks would fly (this is the premise of my fic Talented Voice).
Then this photo happened at the Game Awards, and it was all over after that.
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There's even a basis for it in canon:
1) Odin incorporates Zane's poetry into Balance Slays the Demon, over 40 years after Zane disappeared. I headcanon that since Odin is immune from the changed story, he held onto a book (or at least some typewritten sheets) of Zane's poetry for all that time - or maybe even stole them out of the shoebox at some point. If we take the song at face value (and not because of, y'know, game reasons), that's a long time to hold onto someone's poetry. Zane clearly meant something to Odin.
2) Just listen to the wistful longing in Marko's Odin's voice when he sings "The Poet and the Muse". There is a lot of emotion tied up into that song, which was released six years after Zane disappeared. It's both a love story and a cautionary tale, with Odin lamenting the loss of his lover/friend (depending on how you want to look at it).
Then you have the deleted dialogue between Odin and Saga (spoilers, and it's not clear why this was cut although theories abound, so take it with a grain of salt) where Odin mentions giving Zane a song. While this isn't canon since it was cut, it adds fuel to the 'Odin and Zane collaborated together' fire.
So while the two characters never share any scenes together in the games for obvious reasons, it's quite clear Zane was special to Odin; special enough to write a whole-ass song about him and hold onto his poetry for decades.
Here's why it works:
1) This one varies depending on your interpretation of who Thomas Zane really is/was (and I'm not touching that topic with a 10 foot pole, it's been discussed to death on Reddit 😂), but the late 60s were a wild and crazy time. You know Odin and Tor threw some crazy parties back in the day, and Zane had plans for an artist's commune that included the Anderson brothers - so some shenanigans definitely would've ensued. But even without the rewriting (or expansion, again depending on your interpretation) of Zane's history in AW2, the poet likely would've found himself at those parties regardless. Nothing like a little sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll to get those creative juices flowing. 😎
Which leads me to:
2) They're both creatives. They understand the highest highs and the lowest lows of the creative process. That passion thrums in their veins and leads to a deeper understanding between the two of them. Odin and Zane would just get each other on a different level. While the Old Gods didn't exist prior to Zane's disappearance, we know Odin and Tor had music careers prior to the band's formation in 1971. I could totally see Zane falling for the dashing young rockstar, even before he became Odin; just being completely swept away by that stage presence and that voice. That voice.
Two passionate artists collaborating during the time of free love in the 1960s and 1970s, poetry and music intertwining - it's perfect.
If you want to read more:
My Odin/Zane series is now well over 100,000 words long, with at least another 130,000 words planned, and I'm beyond happy other people have embraced this ship. Shoutout in particular to HopelessScribe on AO3 for also writing Odin/Zane.
And, can't forget this beautiful fanart commissioned from Valentina, with more (NSFW!) Odin/Zane fanart on the way 😈
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you-know-honey · 1 year ago
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The L rule
Part 1/2
Sodo/Dewdrop x f!reader
Summary: You know what they say about short boys...
Word Count: 1930
Note: bad english, the L rule is something that until now I have only heard in Latin America but if you are from other countries and have heard it, comment :).
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"Yeah!" You squealed excitedly at your phone, you were in Aurora's room where a girls' night out and Swiss was taking place. Aurora had begged to be let in and well…no one can resist that smile too much and a blackmail of candys that Swiss had brought with him.
As a fun act in your pajamas, you had been logging into internet forums about yourselves, looking at fan edits, and overacting fanfic scenes, plus of course a LOT of Reddit gossip, and now you were trying to get into a group of theories about the band by idea of Swiss. You offered to take care of searching the forums, but the WiFi signal in the ministry is terrible, especially in the ghoul area, so you were lying on the ceiling of Aurora's closet, with the ceiling of the room at few centimeters from you, while the page loaded.
"I'm sorry Rain, I can't be with you" Cumulus posed as Sodo in a fanfic about him and Rain, the performance fell into ridiculousness and that was the funny thing "I am a fire demon, you are water, we are opposites, destined to never be together." He flopped onto the pillow fort.
"Love can do everything Sodo!" Cirrus responded with the same drama. They both read the lines from their cell phones. "Let me love you" Cirrus dramatized, dropping onto Cumulus in the fort and ending his excellent play amid laughter from everyone present.
"I almost cried," Swiss exaggerated while applauding as if he had seen the pinnacle of theater drama.
"Stay still!" Aurora scolded the ghoul and pulled her left hand back in, trying to finish polishing her nails.
The night was more than perfect, even though it was a 'girls' sleepover, the idea of the masks and manicure had been Swiss's idea, he had really committed herself to making sure everyone had a good time. They had eaten popcorn, pizza and done spicy food challenges, challenges that Cumulus had won.
"Girls, enter the forum" you said as you slide out of the prison between the closet and the ceiling, Swiss made space for you next to him as he waved his hands to dry the polish.
"Let's get this started!" Cirrus said, excited to hear the fans' crazy ideas.
They avoided all theories that had to do with Papa Tenzo since it was a nostalgic topic, it was funny how many tried to guess Montain's height, he had made edits about Swiss promoting toothpastes, or about Rain being a kawaii girl.
"Wait! See" Aurora pointed out on the screen.
Test Who is your Ghost Soulmate ¡Click Here!
Without asking permission Aurora clicked, they were stupid questions like: What is your favorite food? What is your favorite instrument? What is your favorite color? Favorite Ghost song? Etc.
The results were curious to say the least.
Cumulus result was Mountain and she seemed to blush a little as she sank into the pillows. Something that you guys didn't waste and joked about.
Cirrus was paired with herself, and in an exaggerated way she went for a hand mirror from among Aurora's makeup and kissed her reflection, definitely nothing better than being your own love of your life.
Aurora and Swiss's turns were fun, they both appeared as the love of each other's lives, they looked at each other and burst into laughter. Swiss put her arm around Aurora's shoulders. "Maybe in another life, dear" she said in a diva tone as she laughed and Aurora agreed.
When it was your turn everyone was curious, you completed the questions and waited a few seconds before the pixels showed an image of Sodo on the screen with a brief description of why he would be your soulmate:
'A wild boy who will get you out of any boredom✨, his hands work magic🔥, his name says it all.🥴 All good girls die for a bad boy like Sodo. You already know the L rule 😏'
You laughed nervously as you shook your head, there was no way the gremlin was your ideal soulmate "No, never that" you said between nervous laughs but the others only gave each other knowing looks, perhaps your insistence on denying everything ended up confirming it. “Come on guys, it’s just a silly test,” you tried to ignore him.
You and Sodo weren't very close, but on the part of the ghoul who always seemed to want to be away from you, you had even felt that being close to him drained his energy and you weren't really looking for that. So if Sodo was in the room you practically became part of the furniture and in the few times they had to interact you were always too stiff to be natural while you stammered vague responses or ran away from the room, leaving the ghoul somewhat bewildered. The group had interpreted those things as 'romantic advances' and if they were like that they would be the most pathetic romantic advances in the world.
"Stop guys, seriously, it's not funny. It's fake." It was actually funny, if you weren't the victim you would joke just like they do now.
"Of course it's funny, just look at you, if it weren't real, your cheeks wouldn't be as red as tomatoes" Cumulus took the opportunity to say.
"You blushed too!" You replied, you weren't expecting that attack from Cumulus.
"At least I can admit that Mountain is cute!" Cumulus said. Low blow for you.
You wouldn't deny that Sodo was cute, it was an opinion that you and millions of others shared, even in his demonic form, you had always thought that there was no way Sodo wouldn't look attractive. But he had to stay alone in your thoughts.
"One way or the other!" You raised your arms in a sign of peace. “Also, what the hell does the L rule mean?”
"I don't know" Aurora answered, looking at the others for answers but both Cumulus and Cirrus raised and dropped their shoulders.
"No idea girls" Cirrus said.
A small, almost imperceptible laugh escaped Swiss's lips and like owls they all turned towards him, smiling maliciously at each other.
"You know what it is, right Swiss?" Cumulus approached him with a tender puppy look.
"I won't tell them," he replied, but there was a small crack of weakness in his voice. If they pressed harder he would speak.
"But we invited you to our girls' night" Cirrus pouted and crossed her arms childishly, something very cute and she knew it.
"It's a boy thing" He responded, crossing his legs looking at the ceiling to avoid falling into the manipulative tenderness of the ghoulette.
"But you said you were one of us. We girls tell each other everything" you said in the sweetest tone you had, one that worked very well with Rain or Phantom. You leaned on her shoulder like a cat to be closer to her ear.
If an outsider saw the scene they would think it was some kind of satanic harem and not a group of girls trying to convince their dear friend to betray their gender and tell them the secret.
"If it's not the good way, it's the bad way." Aurora pretended to roll up the sleeves of her pajamas. "Girls, hold it down."
With evil smiles they all understood the plan, Cumulus and Cirrus held the legs and you held their wrists. Swiss writhed like a snake but it was impossible for him to get free.
"It's not okay! It's cheating!" he screamed as he tried to get away, laughter escaping him.
"Come on Y/N, you wouldn't do this to your good friend" he begged you with his cute smile.
"Sorry Swiss, curiosity first. Give it Aurora!" Swiss opened her mouth to say something but Aurora rushed over her stomach, beginning the torture.
Aurora's hands ran over the most sensitive areas of Swiss's body, causing him to tickle and laugh loudly and uncontrollably, as well as broken pleas for them to stop. The scene made the girls laugh.
"Confess!" You yelled at him between laughs.
"No," he replied. "It's a boy thing," Swiss gasped as he tried to take a breath, his chest rising and falling violently, tears beginning to escape from his eyes and roll down to his neck.
"We can do this all night!" Aurora hummed and she wasn't lying.
"I…" I gasp "Fuck it…Fine!" He gasped again but louder, "I will confess!" the tickling stopped abruptly letting him breathe properly after some endless minutes.
"Okay" Aurora stayed on him for a few seconds waiting for some sign of a lie but it wasn't like that. She raised her hands in peace and moved away from her stomach. You and the girls let it out too. Swiss wiped away his tears and took some time to get back to normal.
He stood up and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from Aurora's nightstand before sitting back down on the cushions and scribbling a few things down. She ended up showing them an L on the paper, next to the vertical line she had written the letter 'B' and under the small horizontal line the letter 'D'.
"Any idea?" Swiss asked and the four shook their heads, Swiss sighed.
"What does 'D' mean?" you asked innocently.
Swiss smiled mischievously "This" he pointed to his own crotch.
You looked at his crotch for a few seconds before understanding, the blood went to your cheeks at a fantastic speed and you covered your face embarrassed to let your gaze go to the area of Swiss's body and everyone's eyes widened in surprise when they understood. They didn't need to look to understand.
"So if I have the page vertically and the B refers to the boy and the D refers to his… 'little friend', it means that the taller the boy, the smaller his 'D' will be, do you understand?" I explain Swiss as if it were a university class.
"But Sodo isn't that tall, the rule doesn't make sense then" Cumulus was the least uncomfortable of all, Aurora had a nervous smile, you and Cirrus covered half of your faces with a cushion each, absolutely embarrassed.
''Quite the opposite, my dear Cirrus." Swiss turned the page horizontally and changed the place of the 'B' and the 'D'. "As you see, everything changes, now the boy is small so his 'D' will be bigger."
If it could still be possible, your cheeks took on an even redder color. The girls let out a group "Ohhhh…" as Swiss threw the piece of paper against the door.
"Happy with the answer?" Swiss asked, crossing his arms, proud of his explanation. "I hope this betrayal of my gender merits some reward." She looked at her nails with feigned disinterest, before Aurora handed her a handful of candy.
"I was expecting something funnier, but it's okay," you said as you looked out the window, hoping that your blush would stop and that no one would notice.
"Forget it, let's do something interesting now" Swiss said, returning to the fun of a sleepover.
Swiss had finished singing 'London Boy' by Taylor Swift and had even tied the sheet of Aurora's bed around her waist as an elegant dress. You regretted not being able to record that moment. Now it was your turn. You spun the little spinner on the screen of Swiss's phone, it spun for a few seconds and stopped on 'I Love It' by Icona Pop. Your eyes sparkled with excitement.
A long night of talented divas was coming.
I hope you like it, I plan to write some "short" stories to cover my obsession with the band while I continue writing the fanfic.
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