#alfred spoils them rotten when it comes to good food

[empire-of-the-words]

AU where Bruce and Talia get married and Ra'd just... hangs around

He finds Wayne Manor’s version of the mother-in-law suite and refuses to leave

He had LoA meetings there for a while, but Bruce kept spying on them ("It’s my house!") so confidential information isn't discussed there, but everything else is fair game

Alfred's cookies means the League book club is suddenly very popular

None of the kids can bring friends home without having to explain "Yeah that's my (step)grandpa wearing the dramatic robes cursing my dad for stopping him from killing the mayor. Yeah the ninjas are his too. Same with the endangered animals wandering around the house. No it's actually pretty calm today"

Alfred starts cooking larger amounts of food because there’s always a ninja or two (or ten) hanging around, and he’s determined to be a good host ("Why is there a cake tonight?" "It’s Bob's birthday, Master Bruce " "Ninja Bob? Damn I forgot to get him a gift.")

Ra's always spoils his grandkids rotten, of course, but in the weirdest ways possible. Mainly pets. Bruce does not appreciate this.

When Cass shows up, she and Ra's have a staring contest for an hour straight. No one's quite sure what happened, and no one really wants to know

And his shenanigans aren't confined to private either! If there's a gala, he's there, and he does not care about social etiquette. That man makes headlines way more often than not ("'Wayne FIL Has Bodyguards Attack Socialite For Wearing Fur'." "That fur comes from an endangered fox; how else was I supposed to react?")

Ra's likes to match gala outfits with Talia, Talia likes to match with Bruce and Damian (and whatever kids consider her their mom), and the other kids like to join in on the joke, meaning the entire family is matching except for Dick, who refuses out of spite (a picture of them all together quickly becomes a meme format)

The Halloween gala is filled with people in ninja "costumes"

The Court of Owls tries to assassinate Ra's once, not because of the League of Assassins thing, just because he got on the nerves of one too many members. Taking them down is one of the few times Ra's and Dick get along, and it freaks everyone out so much they're determined to never let it happen again

The family is divided on whether they find him and his shenanigans amusing or not. Talia, Jason and Duke do. Bruce and Dick don't. No one's quite sure about Cass, and Damian won't say either way. Tim starts a mini war with Ra's, with the casualties ending up as 2 chandeliers, 5 computers, 4 antique vases, at least 7 League plots, the microwave and Tim’s spleen

He does manage to find the Lazarus Pit infecting Gotham’s water supply and isolate it. So. That's nice.

[jointhearumanati]

HETALIA HEADCANNONS

🇺🇲 Alfred is a not the best in the kitchen but on the Grill he makes the best BBQ I'm talking southern style meat smoked for 12 hours, Brisket, bacon, ribs, steak, burgers, hot dogs, chicken, pork, his cookout parties are the best he can bake casserole in the oven though

🇮🇹 🇩🇪Romano and Germany are best friends when black out drunk much to Romano's horror once he sobers up

🇨🇳 China cross dresses in secret the only one who knows is Poland and are secret besties

🇫🇷 France is the best cosmetologist around you need your hair or nails done he's your guy some nations even pay him and make appointments on the regular

🇬🇧 🇨🇳England and China dated once upon a time it didn't end well but England still has a small crush on him though he won't admit it China moved on

🇵🇹 🇨🇳Portugal and China had a one night stand once

🇷🇺 🇨🇳Russia has had a crush on China since he was a kid under Mongolian rule he was the only one who was kind to him he thought he was a woman even when he found out he was a man it didn't change his opinion of him

🇻🇦🇨🇳 Rome and China were in a romantic long distance relationship once upon a time it took so long to visit but Rome always made the journey when he had time China didn't find out about his death until years after he died

🇬🇧 England can play the electric guitar 🎸 and writes music notes and songs it helps him relax he lies on the floor of his room and plays for hours

🇷🇺 Russia went to therapy and came out a lot more stable he even went on a apology tour to apologize to those he wronged if he unnerves anyone it's just teasing now

🇩🇪🇧🇪🇨🇭🇱🇮 Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein are the best bakers around they make the best sweets

🇮🇹 Italy and Romano have an Vegetable and Herb garden so they always have the freshes ingredients

🌍���🌏All Nations have a big food party after world meeting everyone brings food from around the globe so everyone can try any food they want

🇨🇳 China is actually the best in bed he knows ancient tricks that leave his partners staring at the ceiling contemplating their existence

🇬🇷 Greece is second best in bed it's like he puts every bit of energy into pleasing his partners he falls asleep immediately after

🇬🇷 Greece is the best at giving advice though few nations actually know that

🇪🇸🇮🇹🇺🇲🇱🇹🇰🇷🇰🇵🇭🇰🇷🇺🇬🇷🇹🇷S pain, Romano, America, Lithuania, the Korea twins, Russia, Greece, and Turkey are the best dancers around Spain and Romano are good at Salsa, Flamenco, Tango, Argentine tango, and Tarantella. America and Lithuania are the best at Swing. The Korea twins are good at more modern dancing freestyle even throwing some break dancing and acrobatics into their routine. Hong Kong is the best break dancer even throws acrobatics into his routine often dances with the twins. Russia is the best ballet dancer and does traditional Russian dances it's impressive with his size. Greece and Turkey are the best belly dancers.

🇰🇷🇰🇵 The Korea twins meet once a year at China's place they make up for lost time with a bit of bickering, speaking at the same time, and finishing each other's sentences

🇭🇰 Hong Kong is the best clothing and jewelry designer you'll ever meet he makes all his clothes and even has his siblings model his designs he even has either Japan or Taiwan take pictures for him with lights props and everything and puts it on Instagram he sometimes gets commissions from other nations they pay him and make appointments sometimes even modeling his designs he even teams up with France for hair nails and makeup he has a whole studio he's also a great DJ

🇨🇳 China is the best babysitter around he gets payed by the hour and China adores children he missed the pitter patter of tiny feet on his floor the kids always come back full of good food and toys and presents to take home they aren't his kids so he can spoil them rotten even snacks for the road because growing children need to eat

🇨🇳 China always brings tons of snacks to world meetings he even gives America and Germany extra because they are the youngest

[hollyharper]

I think DC neds to do a five year time skip. Take their entire continuity and more it forward five years. Give us fans something new.

Maybe Bruce and Selina finally tied the knot, maybe they even have a little Helena Wayne. Their starting to train her to follow in their footsteps. Just have a bunch of sevens of the little three year old doing splits with her mom, learning how to analyze samples with her dad. Damien teaching her to fight. And of course, all the older siblings spoiling her rotten. Bruce is simply happy to spend time with his wife and kids. Selina still loves her cats. The house is over run with them, domestic and wild.

Dick and Babs should definitely be married. They have a two year old boy, James, after Barbara’s brother. Maybe even start with Barbara’s second pregnancy. This time a girl named Mary, after Dick’s mom. They have a large apartment in Bl��dhavan. Dick is still Nightwing. Barbara struggles juggling her roles as his partner and wife, Batman, and The Bird’s Oracle, and being a mom. The Alfred Pennyworth foundation is thriving, and Babs resented reclaimed Gotham Clean Energy. Being the genius she is is Barbara refuses to send her kids to public school. Dick worries that adds to much extra stress to her life. She loves it. To thank her for all of her hard work, Dick brings home little gifts for her at least once a week. These presents range from chocolate bars to new computer equipment. As much as he loves when Babs cooks, Dick usually prepares their meals.

What would truly be a bomb, would be to put Jason in serious relationship. Personally, I would go with Helena Bertenilli. They started working together as partners. As they spent more time together, it became clear that they both were looking for a more intimate relationship. Their shared understanding of loss brought them closer together, until their relationship turned into lovers. Helen’s exceptional skill as a history teacher, earned her a place at Gotham High. Seeing Jason’s talent with kids, her confided him to get a teaching job as well. He mostly teaches P.E. at Gotham Academy, but also has a black smith class. He makes knives and sword son the weekend, and sells them to make money on the side. On the Battlefield, Huntress and Red Hood are inseparable, and on of the best teams Batman has. They both deeply love each other, but are afraid to talk about commitment.

Tim and Stephine are currently have issues. They’ve had an on and off relationship for the last year. Tim has entirely taken over running Wayne Enterprises. He works all day, and is out as Red Robin most of the night. His exhaustion puts a massive strain on their relationship. He feels bad about having so little time for Steph, and to show her how much he loves, her is planning to propose. Stephine feels neglected. As much as she loves Tim, his constant stress weighs on her. After talking with her mentors, she has decided that time apart would be good for both her and Tim, but she doesn’t know how to tell him. Steph has been job bouncing for awhile, another reason she’s cautious about leaving.

Cass is still Bruce’s angel child. She has little interest in dating. Her main focus is always the mission. Barbara believes she needs to get a job and stop relying on Bruce for funding. The only idea she even considered, was Helena’s suggestion to become a federal agent. Bruce strongly opposes the idea. After her father died, Cass has been trying to patch things up with her mom, who unsurprisingly wants Cass to join the League of Shadows.

At first, Damien was reluctant to accept Selina, though he would never admit, he was still hoping for his parents to work things out. When Bruce married Selina, it became clear Talia wasn’t coming back. Over time, she grew on him. Selina was the one to figure out that Damien missed his mother. After some negotiations, she convinced Bruce to invite Talia over for the holidays. It became an eagerly anticipated tradition for Damien. Talia as brings food and gifts for him. It’s the one time of year when Damian’s almost always smiles. Dami adores his little sister, and has even sworn to protect her at all costs. His relationship with Flatline died out very quickly after their meeting. Mostly, because of how immature they both were. Four years, and a sweet ex later, they meet once again on the field of battle. Again sparks flew, leading to a passionate reunion, and another hero and villain love story.

Jade and Lian were recently reunited. Their relationship is still on rocky ground, but Jade is determined to make up for the time she missed with her daughter. She makes every effort to connect with Lian, even while fighting shadows from her past. Every night, to two will sit on the roof outside of Lian’s window. Their shared interest in astronomy is a safe topic, one they touch on often. Lian wants a relationship with her mother, but is afraid Jade will leave again. Jade’s proud that her daughter took the name Cheshire Cat, and love watching her daughter in action, even though it’s usually from a distance.

Dinah and Oliver have been married for a few years. They found out pretty soon that they can’t have kids. After the news, Dinah went into depression. Their friends and family stepped up to help. Bruce tried to convince them to adopt. Neither want to, until they meet a feisty young girl named Kayleigh. Kayleigh is closed off, with deep wounds. She’s trying to become a vigilant in Star City. Her methods are overly violent. Oliver sees his younger self in her and brings her under his wing. Dinah takes a little to warm up to her. Kayleigh gives them both quite a bit of trouble, but their determined to read her. But Kayleigh’s secrets are something that could shatter their belief in her. She knows the day the find out, will be the last time she has anything close to a family.

[tgwltw]

My dad is emotionally abusive and just in general sucks and I'm really upset today because with it being fathers day, my family has it that I "Have" to hang with and do as my father says......I was wondering if you could cheer me up by writing something like bruce and alfred being good adoptive father figures to a male reader who just sorta ended up hanging with the batboys, with it slipping that the readers family life isnt great, despite the readers happy outward face.

Hi, I’m really sorry to hear that. Ihope this cheered you up enough? If you ever need someone to talk to, reach out yeah? I originally had something else planned for Bruce, Alfred and Clark but I figured since this is a request that youseem to need, I tried my best with it! Hope this is able to cheer you up a bit!

“Young master Y/N, will you bejoining us for dinner today?” Alfred asks when you walk by the kitchen,trailing after Tim who is still chattering about what he had gotten for Bruce.You blink a couple of times, pausing to think about the offer. On one hand, youreally want to stay and have dinner with the family but on the other hand, youknew if you went back home, you are just going to be super fucking miserableand your family might even get mad at you for skipping tonight.

Tim must have seen the briefconflict on your face. “Yeah, he’s staying for dinner, Alfred.” Tim answers foryou and you shot your friend a look. Tim simply shrugs. “Come on, we still needto play the game. Alfred’s going to call us for dinner once it’s about done.”Tim pulls you in the direction of his room.

“Thank you, Alfred!” You call outover your shoulders.

Alfred simply smiles at you.

The moment you reach Tim’s room, youimmediately went for the bean-bag you have claimed as yours, making yourselfcomfortable. You watch Tim plug in his PlayStation and hands a remotecontroller over to you. “Tekken 7?” He asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“I’m game.”

The two of you had spent the entiretime playing Tekken 7, shouting and screaming at each other as you tried tobeat Tim. You are somewhat thankful you had gotten the chance to meet Tim thatone day. It went from casual conversations about the latest games and latestupdates to having actual conversations about all sorts of games the both of youplayed and soon, Tim and you became quick friends.

The competition between you and Timare put to a stop when Alfred knocks on the door. “Young masters, it is almosttime for dinner. If you could head over to the dining hall, it would befantastic.” Alfred announces and Tim nods his head.

“Why don’t you head down first? Ineed to take a quick shower.” Tim tells you and you nod your head. “I thinkDamian should be downstairs somewhere.” Tim turns to look Alfred.

“Master Damian is currently in thestudy, playing with Titus as we are speaking.” Alfred nods his head to confirmTim’s suspicions. You got off the bean-bag and hand the controller you had beenusing to Tim. “Follow after me, Young Master Y/N.”

You left Tim’s room and quicklyfollowed after Alfred. You really look up to Alfred. The first time you had metAlfred, you had been a little bit afraid because of his stern expression butyou quickly find out that despite his expressions, he was lovable and his quickwits amazed you.

“Alfred, will everyone be around fordinner today?” You finally ask. “It’s just that today’s Father’s Day and all.”You casually point out and Alfred shakes his head.

“Not everyone, unfortunately. MasterDick is currently out of the country for a job and if all is well, Master Jasonwill drop by when he is finished with his.” Alfred tells you as he leads youdown to the dining hall. He didn’t really have to do that to be quite honestseeing as you have already been hanging out with them a lot to know where thedining hall is but it still made you somewhat happy.

“I see.” You say softly. “Areeveryone happy?” You randomly ask when he leads you to where you will besitting.

Alfred looks at you before givingyou a knowing smile. “Do you know why we fall sometimes, Young Master Y/N?” Heasks you instead and you frown as you tried to think of an answer. “So that wewill learn how to pick ourselves up.” You take a seat on the chair and furrowyour eyebrows.

“Being happy is a choice, son. Itsimply means that they have simply decided to see beyond the imperfections.”Alfred tells you as he recalls every little thing the entire family had gonethrough and he places a hand on your shoulder. “You just have to choose it andfight to be happy.” He lifts his hand from your shoulder, dropping it to hisside. “Dinner will be served shortly.” Alfred then excuses himself leaving youwith a few questions rather than answers.

You never looked forward to Father’sDay. What with the situation back at home and your father was just plain rotten?Constantly abusing you emotionally, to the point where you are just so tiredand done and you tend to find excuses to not stay at home. It makes you wonderbriefly if Tim – and the rest of his family – knows about your situation backat home. You had been careful too, not letting it slip just how unhappy yourfamily – more specifically your father – made you feel.

“Tt. It is you.” Damian walks inwith Alfred the Cat chilling on his shoulders and you give Damian a wave. Henods his head curtly as he takes his seat. “You are looking worse for wear.Whatever have you been doing?” Sometimes you forget Damian’s a thirty-year-old stuckin a ten-year old’s body and you chuckle. “Tt. I see nothing funny about myquestion, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “I justremembered something but do I look that bad? I think I’m getting more sleepthan Tim does.” You point out, looking at your reflection on the spoon. Yeah,you might have eye-bags beneath your eyes but that was certainly nothing new.At times, you can’t sleep, your thoughts plagued by the thoughts of your dad.

Damian shrugs his shoulder, pickingAlfred off of his shoulder to place him on the floor. “Run along and find Titusnow, Alfred.” He tells his cat and you smile. You never thought he would havean affinity with animals – it was kinda adorable.

Not long after that, Tim appears,chatting with Bruce.

“Hello, Y/N. How are you?” Bruceasks you when they reached the table. Tim takes a seat beside you, leaving theseat beside Damian empty and Bruce sits down on his chair.

“Still alive and breathing, sir.”You grin at Bruce and he nods his head, a small smile on his face. Anyconversations that were about to happen after that is cut short because Alfredcame in bringing dinner. Eating home-made food was always something you lookedforward to and sometimes you think Alfred spoils everyone in this house withhow good most of his food were. You thank him and Alfred tells you to eat yourfood well before taking a sat at the far end of the table – still mindful ofthe fact that he is a butler – even though you are sure no one in the housereally thinks of him as a butler anymore.

The rest of the night is spent withyou watching everyone interact. Halfway through dinner, Jason comes walking inand it was amusing for you to see Damian interacting with Jason. Despite hiscold attitude towards him, you can see that Damian actually looks up to Jasontoo. Perhaps this was what Alfred had meant by his answer to your question.

You have come to notice thateveryone is a misfit here and everyone just clicks. It makes you a little bitsad that your own family is not like this. But you tried to put that at theback of your mind, especially since both Tim and Damian had invited you to stayover and you jumped at the chance. Anything to spend the night away from yourfamily.

You thought you had a grip on yourown emotions and managed to go about the rest of the night without giving awayyour problems. But you thought wrong. Just as you are about to go in one of theliving rooms – where Tim and Damian had set up their mattresses – Bruce stopsyou. “Our house is open for you whenever you feel like it, Y/N.” You frown atfirst, confused by what he is saying.

Bruce gives you a small smile. “Afather figure of mine once said, however dark and scary the world might beright now, there will be light.” He stares at you and you reel back from theshock when you finally understand what he was trying to say without actuallysaying it.

“Thank you, sir.” You tell him. “Thankyou.”

Bruce shakes his head. “Remember,the house is open for you whenever.” He tells you once more before leaving youto digest just what had happened.

[p1nkshield]

Alfred just looks on disappointedly

Jason: “I really think we should sue. That’s a good idea. Try this it tastes awf-”

Alfred:“No thank you.”

Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it

Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?

Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this

Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting

Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it

Tim: *passes it to Damian*

Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross

Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass

Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?

Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good

Dick: Well now I feel left out

Duke: *hands it to Dick*

Dick: *takes a bite*

Dick:

Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this

Jason: You wanna try Bruce?

Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...

Dick: *hands it to Bruce*

Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful

[alysha-storm6]

🤣🤣 This is my new canon.

Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it

Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?

Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this

Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting

Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it

Tim: *passes it to Damian*

Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross

Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass

Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?

Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good

Dick: Well now I feel left out

Duke: *hands it to Dick*

Dick: *takes a bite*

Dick:

Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this

Jason: You wanna try Bruce?

Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...

Dick: *hands it to Bruce*

Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful

[snekullent]

#they are all smart#but when put together they can be dumbasses#they go from like that big brain meme individually to like 2 braincells collectively when put together#im basing this on me with my own siblings#so i know this is just how siblings are#one is like this tastes bad then hands it to another person to try and that just continues til we all have tried it and agreed#but they are also biased cause they all have alfreds cooking regularly so they try something else and are like wtf#alfred spoils them rotten when it comes to good food

Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it

Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?

Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this

Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting

Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it

Tim: *passes it to Damian*

Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross

Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass

Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?

Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good

Dick: Well now I feel left out

Duke: *hands it to Dick*

Dick: *takes a bite*

Dick:

Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this

Jason: You wanna try Bruce?

Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...

Dick: *hands it to Bruce*

Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful