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gamergirl929 · 6 months ago

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If It Were Up To Me (We'd Be Meant To Be) (Alex Morgan x Reader)

It was the typical cliche, childhood best friends falling for one another, in this case however, it was only you who fell and judging by the wedding invitation currently resting on your kitchen counter, you'd be the only one to ever fall.

The day was like any typical day, your parents chattering away in the Morgan’s living room as you and Alex played a few feet away, the two of you giggling as you made your two dolls walk towards one another.

“What do you mean?” You ask in confusion, your head cocked to the side, your tiny brows knitted in confusion.

“I seen mommy and daddy kissing.” Alex says, the little girl shrugging as she leans her doll towards your own.

“What’s a kiss?” You ask, turning back to the toys the two of you were playing with.

“It’s what two people do when they love each other.” She says nonchalantly, playing with the doll in her hands.

“Can anyone kiss?” You ask and she shrugs.

“I think so.”

You hum, turning your attention back to your own doll.

You remain quiet for a moment, but questions plagued your tiny mind.

“How do you kiss?” You ask, your best friend turning towards you with a small smile.

“I think it’s like this.”

“Awwwwww, look at them...” You hear your mother say as Alex Morgan’s lips meet yours, the two of you giggling as you part, your parents cooing.

“Before we know it, those two will be married!” Alex’s father says, sharing a round of laughter with your parents.

Though the kiss you had shared was a meaningless kiss between two children, something neither of you understood, it would lead to something much more complex the older you got, something that would lead to your heart eventually being broken.

************************************************************************

You frowned sadly as you stared down at the invitation resting on your kitchen counter, an invitation to your best friend, Alex Morgan’s, wedding.

You’d been best friends since childhood, and that hadn’t changed throughout your adult life, the two of you growing closer and closer the older you got.

You wouldn’t lie, you found yourself developing feelings for Alex in middle school, and those feelings only progressed as the two of you got older.

Those feelings had in no way dissipated, even as you stared at the invitation resting on your marble kitchen counter.

You flip the invitation over, not wanting to read the name of your best friend and her soon to be husband on its surface.

You bury your face in your hands, your stomach churning as your eyes again drift to the invitation, one that is now upside down, the names no longer visible.

You knew you missed your chance; you knew you couldn’t go back and change things, the wedding date was cemented now, and there was no changing it.

You knew you couldn’t go; you couldn’t watch the woman you loved marry someone else.

You had to come up with an excuse, and though you knew missing her wedding would break her heart, seeing her get married would shatter yours in such a way that you’d never be able to piece it back together.

Your hands tremble as you move to your feet, shuffling towards the cabinet near the fridge before you produce a bottle of Vodka, screwing the cap off and taking a swig, the liquid burning your throat, it’s warmth spreading to your chest.

If you had any say in the matter, you’d drink so much you would forget the name Alex Morgan.

No matter how much you drank that night, you couldn’t forget Alex, you never could and deep down, you knew that.

*******************************************************

Alex Morgan’s brows knitted in confusion, the corners of her mouth drooping downwards.

“What’s wrong?” Kelley O’Hara says as she flops down onto the bed beside Alex, the woman still staring blankly at her phone’s screen, unable to really comprehend what she’s reading.

“Y/N just cancelled her RSVP.” She mumbles, Kelley’s eyes widening when she peers over her shoulder.

“What?!?” She asks, scanning the email, her brows furrowed.

She’d only met you a few times, but it was obvious to literally anyone with eyes that you were absolutely in love with the woman sitting beside her, a woman whose wedding you cancelled your RSVP for.

Kelley knew it would be absolute torture to watch the woman you loved get married to someone who wasn’t you, if she was in your shoes, she probably would have cancelled as well.

“Did she say why?” Kelley asks, earning a shake of the head from Alex.

“No...” She frowns, dropping her phone onto the hotel room’s bed.

Kelley slips an arm around her middle, pulling her towards her, Alex’s head resting on her shoulder.

The two sit in silence, the defender trying to think of a response, but before she can reply, Alex breaks the silence.

“We’ll be in New York in a couple weeks for our match against you guys, I’ll go see her then.” She mumbles and Kelley nods, her throat bobbing, wondering what the conversation between the two of you would entail, and hoping that for your sake, it didn’t end negatively.

************************************************************************

You did your best to avoid Alex’s multiple calls and her text messages, knowing that if you really spoke to the woman, she would see right through you.

She could always tell when you were lying, commenting on the fact that you’d noticeably fidget, unable to meet her gaze.

You’d come up with a bullshit excuse for missing her wedding, claiming that your office had denied your request to get the week of her wedding off.

In reality, you’d had the week off for months, but you needed an excuse not to go, you need an excuse to miss watching her marry someone else.

Alex’s texts and phone calls had stopped, but you knew that wouldn’t be the end of it, if Alex Morgan was anything, it was stubborn.

What you didn’t realize was that stubbornness would lead to her knocking on your door a few weeks later, your eyes widening when you peer through the peephole and see Alex Morgan standing at your door.

You take a deep breath, your heart racing, your chest tightening as you try to calm yourself down, your eyes fluttering shut.

“Y/N, are you there?” Alex calls out and you clear your throat, pulling your door open with a smile on your face, one Alex notes, doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Hey.” She says softly, closing the distance between you, throwing her arms around your neck and giving you a squeeze.

Your arms slide around her middle, your heart racing as you hug her tightly, your eyes fluttering shut.

Alex’s hugs never ceased to make a warmth spread throughout your chest, and make your heart thump wildly, the close proximity between the two of you making your pulse race.

Alex buries her face in your neck and your breath catches in your throat, the tip of her nose brushing your jawline.

“Where have you been?” She asks as she pulls back her blue orbs locking with your Y/E/C’s.

You glance away, unable to look her in the eyes and blatantly lie to her, it’s not like you could tell her you were avoiding her calls and texts purposely.

“I’m sorry, things have been REALLY busy at the office, I literally come home and the second my head hits the pillow, I’m out.” You shrug, turning back to Alex who inspects you closely.

She could read you like an open book, and almost immediately she knew you were lying.

“Y/N...” She starts and your throat bobs.

“What?” You say as you turn away, making your way towards the refrigerator.

“Do you want anything?” You ask, acutely aware of the fact that Alex is moving towards you.

“Y/N...” She says again, her hand on your back, her touch making you stiffen.

You sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as the woman caresses your back gently, smiling when you sag slightly.

“You’ve been my best friend for over 20 years, I know when something’s wrong.” She says softly, subconsciously tracing your spine causing you to shiver.

Her throat bobbed as she traced your spine, reveling in the way you shuddered.

In all honesty, the way you reacted to her touch never ceased to make her heart race, in some circumstances, she’d brush her fingertips against you, just to see that reaction.

“Y/N...” She whispers again, gently taking your shoulder and turning you around slowly, her blue orbs widening when she realizes your Y/E/C orbs are filled with tears.

Alex cups your cheeks gently, frowning as a tear slides down your cheek, the inner turmoil in your dulled Y/E/C orbs visible.

“Y/N--

Alex pauses mid-sentence, her blue orbs wide and heart racing when your lips press against hers. She remains still, unsure of what to do as your lips move against hers.

Almost as quickly as they met hers, they’re gone, your eyes wide, your heart slamming violently against the confines created by your ribs.

Alex remains silent, unable to find her voice, before you turn and sprint out of the apartment, putting as much distance between yourself and her as possible.

************************************************************************

Alex wasn’t sure how long she stood in your apartment, unable to tear her gaze away from the place where you’d been originally standing.

She never expected when she’d come to your apartment that you would kiss her, the thought of your lips meeting hers making her heart race.

It was only when her phone started to ring that she was pulled from her daze, her head on a swivel as she surveyed your apartment, an apartment you’d bolted from sometime before.

Alex’s feet guide her towards your apartment door, the woman slipping out of your apartment before clicking the door shut behind her.

In all honesty, she was numb, her mind racing wildly, she had no idea what to do, but before she realized what was happening, she was sitting in the back of a taxi on her way home.

Needless to say, when you returned to your apartment hours later and realized it was empty, you broke down, knowing that the relationship between the two of you would never be the same again.

************************************************************************

Alex Morgan hadn’t tried to contact you after that, not a single text, or phone call, the woman doing everything she could to distance herself from you.

Despite that, you couldn’t help but stare down at the invitation still lying on your kitchen counter with each passing day, the date of the wedding looming.

You knew you weren’t welcome; you knew Alex wouldn’t want to see you after the unreciprocated kiss, but still you found yourself preparing for the event anyway, dressing in a well-tailored suit despite knowing you’d planned on not being seen.

Thankfully for you, the venue wasn’t indoors, the massive and extravagant wedding being held outside, the sun high in the sky and the sea’s waves crashing wildly against the rocks nearby.

It was easy considering you didn’t exactly have to sneak in, but you still chose to keep your distance, so much so that the wedding participants were barely visible.

You lean against a nearby tree, your throat bobbing when you catch sight of the woman you’d come there to see, a woman who you’d kissed months ago, a woman who didn’t feel the same way as you did, and never would.

Even at a distance, you knew Alex Morgan looked stunning in her wedding dress, the sight of her taking your breath away.

Your throat tightened, as did your chest, the knowledge that she was about to marry someone who wasn’t you making your heart tear in two.

It was only when she reached the altar that you felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, tears that were now streaming down your cheeks.

The man officiating the wedding starts to speak, the sound deafening to your ears despite being so far away.

Your palms begin to sweat as you watch the wedding from afar, the urge to get a closer look, and to move further away from the venue prominent.

You stand completely still, unable to keep yourself from watching the scene before you, a scene that was shredding your heart into tiny pieces.

You knew Servando was speaking, you could barely see his lips moving in your peripheral vision considering your gaze was focused entirely on Alex Morgan.

Your focus thus remained on her when the woman abruptly turned away from the man she was marrying and sprinted down the aisle, the guests gasping as Alex sprinted away from the venue.

************************************************************************

Alex Morgan couldn’t keep her mind off you, it was her wedding day, she was about to marry the man she’d been with for years, and she STILL couldn’t get her mind off you.

She’d replayed the moment in her head over and over again, remembered the way your lips felt against hers, and the look of fear in your eyes when you left the apartment.

“Alex?”

Alex’s eyes widen, her head snapping upwards, catching sight of her mother’s eyes in the mirror, the older woman’s eyes narrowed as she inspects Alex’s face through the reflection.

“Is something wrong...?” She asks, Alex’s mouth opening and closing rapidly before it snaps shut, the woman shaking her head slowly.

Her mother shakes her head, moving towards her daughter, her hands resting gently on her shoulders.

“Honey, you can tell me anything.” She whispers, tucking a wild wisp of hair behind her ear as she stares at her face in the mirror.

Alex shrugs, her throat bobbing as her mouth opens and closes yet again before she finally finds her voice.

“What if I’m making a mistake...?” She asks, her mother’s eyes widening.

“Why would you think that...?” Her mother asks, her thumb running back and forth along Alex’s shoulder.

She shrugs.

Pam hums, staring at her daughter before realization dawns on her face.

“Is this about Y/N?” She asks, Alex’s eyes widening as her eyes meet her mothers in the mirror.

“Why would it be about Y/N?” She asks, her mother smiling softly.

“Honey, I know you, and I know something happened between the two of you.” She says, gauging her daughter’s reaction, Alex’s gaze falling to her lap, taking particular interest in her manicured nails.

“What happened?” Her mother coaxes and Alex sighs deeply.

“She...” She pauses, inhaling deeply.

“She kissed me.” She exhales, Pam’s eyes widening, though with Alex’s head down, she misses the twitch at the corner of her mouth, the older Morgan fighting back a smile.

“When was this?” She asks, Alex playing with her fingers nervously.

“A few months ago.” She mumbles and Pam nods.

“Is that why you haven’t been talking?” She asks and Alex nods silently in response.

Pam studies her face quietly for a moment before she sighs, grabbing a nearby chair and taking a seat beside her daughter.

“What happened after?” She asks, Alex still staring at her lap.

“I didn’t kiss back, and she ran away.” She says, vividly remembering the look on your face after you’d kissed her.

Pam remains silent, pondering on what to say before she speaks.

“Did you want to kiss back?” She asks and Alex shrugs.

“I don’t know.”

Pam and Alex turn back towards the door, smiling when Alex’s father, Michael peeks his head in.

“It’s time.” He says softly, moving into the room, ducking down to kiss the top of Alex’s head, completely oblivious to the conversation he’d interrupted.

“Are you ready?” He asks, Alex’s blue orbs darting to her mothers in the mirror, the two sharing a silent conversation before Alex reluctantly nods.

“I’m ready.”

************************************************************************

Alex blindly made her way down the aisle, her father’s arm hooked with her own, the smiling man at the end of the aisle the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.

Though she should’ve felt excitement, she didn’t, the thought of waking up to him every day in no way feeling as appealing as it would to wake up to you every day.

Alex plastered on a fake smile as she reaches the altar, Servando taking her hands with a loving smile, his thumbs caressing the back of her hands.

“I love you.” He whispers, turning away, completely unaware that she hadn’t returned the sentiment.

The officiant starts speaking, though his words fall on deaf ears, Alex lost in her own thoughts, thoughts of what would happen if she married the man in front of her.

If she went through with it, she would never be able to explore what she was feeling, she’d never know what it would feel like to feel your lips against hers again, she’d never know what it would feel like to actually kiss you back.

And as the seconds passed, she realized she wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you back.

“Alex?”

Alex blinks rapidly, picking her head up, realizing the officiant, and Servando were looking at her expectantly, Servando’s brows knitted in confusion.

“Do you have anything you’d like to say to Servando?” The officiant asks, and Alex swallows hard, her mouth opening and closing rapidly.

“I can’t do this.”

Those around her gasp as she turns on her heels and sprints down the aisle, as best as she can in heels.

Much like you had months ago, she sprints away, unaware that you’re watching her from afar and following after her.

************************************************************************

Unfortunately, you weren’t able to catch Alex before she disappeared into a taxi, the taxi carrying her a lengthy distance away before you reach the sidewalk.

You’re completely unaware that a number of the wedding guests had followed after the wayward bride.

You can’t help but jump when a hand settles on a shoulder, a hand you realize belongs to nonother than Pamela Morgan.

The older woman’s eyes lock with your own and you turn away, your throat bobbing.

“Do you have any idea where she could’ve gone?” You hear one of the wedding guests ask Servando, the man shaking his head rapidly.

“I don’t know.” He says sadly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Pam meanwhile leans towards you, whispering in your ear.

“But you do.” She says, your eyes widening as you pull back abruptly.

You had an idea of where she might be going, a place the two of you frequented when you were growing up, a place the two of you would run to when you needed to get away from the world around you.

Pam nods, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“Go.”

You swallow hard, searching her face momentarily before you nod, turning away from the older Morgan before you sprint off, intent on following after your best friend and the woman you were hopelessly in love with.

************************************************************************

The clearing in the small woods behind Alex’s childhood home that you’d frequented as kids hadn't changed all that much, the large rock the two of you would lounge on still resting a few feet away from the small stream running by.

And that’s of course where you find Alex, the woman completely unaware of your presence as you move towards her.

You frown at the sound of her soft sniffles, transported back to your teenager years when you’d found her in this very same position, crying about a boy who’d cheated on her.

Even back then, you were in love with her, and you still felt that same love for her to this day.

“Al...?” You whisper, the woman gasping as she sits up abruptly, her watery blue orbs finding your Y/E/C’s in an instant.

Her eyes rake down your front, her throat bobbing as she turns away.

You make your way towards her, taking a seat on the slab of stone beside her.

The world around you falls silent, the two of you gazing at the small stream in front of you, its water flowing past slowly and softly.

“How did you know where to find me...?” Alex croaks out and you smile.

“This was our spot, remember?” You ask and Alex shakes her head wiping her running nose with her forearm.

"I know." She sniffs, remembering the times she'd found you there when you were going through something, specifically when you were hit with the realization that you were having feelings for girls, that you were SUPPOSED to be having for boys, of course, according to society’s standards.

The two of you fall silent again, focusing on the water running by in front of you.

“Why did you run?" You whisper hoarsely, fearful of what her answer may be.

Alex remains silent, the woman gathering her thoughts before she speaks.

“Because I didn’t want to spend my entire life settling for Servando...” She pauses, slowly turning towards you, the woman delicately cupping your cheeks, your breath catching roughly in your throat.

“When all of this time, I could’ve had you.” She whispers, caressing your cheek, smiling when you lean into her touch.

Your eyes instinctively flutter shut as Alex leans in, her lips pressing gently against your own.

You'd kissed twice before, a meaningless kiss when you were kids, and a kiss that unfortunately, Alex hadn't reciprocated, but now, Alex Morgan had kissed you, and you in no way hesitated to kiss her back.

Your hands find their way to her waist as you kiss softly, her fingers knitting behind your neck as she pulls you closer.

The kiss made your heart race, and your body tingle, a feeling you'd been longing for since you were teenagers had now come to fruition, and you never wanted it to end.

It's only when you feel something wet on your cheek that you pull back, your eyes flashing open to reveal Alex's tear covered cheeks.

"Hey..." You say as you cup her cheeks, swiping her tears away with the pads of your thumbs.

"Please don't cry." You whisper as you hold her close, the woman shaking her head as she covers your hands with her own.

“I almost made the biggest mistake of my life.” She whispers, leaning into your touch as she turns head, kissing your palm.

“What do you mean?” You ask, unable to put two and two together in your mind at that moment.

Alex’s watery blue orbs meet yours as she leans back in, pressing another loving kiss to your lips, your bottom lip trapped between hers, as her hands cover your own, her fingers pushing their way in between yours.

Again, you part with much reluctance, Alex leaning her forehead against yours, the two of you breathing one another's air.

“I almost married someone who wasn’t you.” She says, your eyes widening as you study her face intently, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.

Your mouth opens and closes rapidly, your brain unable to respond to what Alex’s had just said, a fantasy you could’ve only ever dreamed up playing out before you.

Alex’s hands leave yours and she gently cups your cheeks, wiping away tears you hadn’t realized were streaming down your cheeks.

You squeeze your eyes shut, but you’re unable to keep your tears at bay as Alex scoots closer, resting her forehead back against yours.

“And I would’ve spent the rest of my life regretting it.” She says, brushing her nose back and forth against your own, your watery Y/E/C’s opening to meet Alex’s watery blues.

“I love you.” You whisper, your eyes widening when you realize what you’d said.

“Wh-What I meant was--

You’re cut off by the press of Alex’s lips against yours, the woman pulling back with a toothy grin.

“I love you too Y/N, I always have.” She says, tilting her head back to kiss your forehead.

“And I always will.”

You press a kiss to Alex’s lips again before turning back towards the stream, your arm slipping around her middle, her head resting on your shoulder.

It was in that moment, sitting in the spot that you’d frequented as kids, you in a suit and Alex in her wedding dress that you realized this was always meant to happen, and it all started with a kiss between two clueless kids who had no idea what it meant at the time.

Now, however, when you kissed, it meant something, it meant so much in fact that you’d eventually kiss in front of a crowd of people, you in a suit, and Alex Morgan in a wedding dress.

#uswnt x reader #alex morgan x reader #feedback is appreciated!

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