#alas it was not meant to be u_u

[coffee-or-murder]

Because it’s been rattling around my brain and won’t seem to leave, here’s some thoughts on the Runaway AU for Lemon. No spoilers just exploring if Tadhgan was brave enough to leave town with Lemon, and Lonan went with them to escape his family because…Lemon is the only person he knows outside of his family. What other choice does he have? 

Lemon would most likely have been a twilight cleric in this AU, getting to lvl 3 when the trio flees the Five Shires. They’d start taking on odd jobs to make ends meet until they could find an adventuring guild far away from the Five Shires, and use fake names while trying to stay out of trouble.  

Tadhgan and Lemon officially start dating fairly soon after running away in this au! They have….a little bit of trouble keeping their hands to themselves sometimes >>’

Poor Lonan walks in on one too many make out sessions so he starts sending in his familiar Squeak (a potoo bird) or Savio (his spellbook personified into a black cyclops cat) to make sure it’s safe to come in. Squeak tends to dive bomb them and starts nuzzling Lemon’s cheeks, while Savio floats in and starts sassing them. Lonan and Aodhan(Tadhgan’s drake) start to hang out more during this as well, and Lonan appreciates having a warm quiet presence around while he studies his spells. 

Sooner or later Lonan starts actually bonding with them. Long magic theory debates with Lemon and gentle lessons on social interactions with Tadhgan start to make him think of them as friends. After they bond when he supports them from the sidelines in a fight he starts to get…distracted. They’re sort of pretty fighting side by side, taking hits meant for each other, and then both of them rushing to his aid and putting themselves in between him and danger…..they are very aesthetically pleasing to watch and Lonan doesn’t know what to do about that.    

In the middle of one of Lemon and Lonan’s verbal sparring matches Tadhgan looks at them and realizes he’s in love with both of these headstrong intelligent people, and he has to leave the room he’s blushing so much

Later he brings it up with Lemon, and while she is a little embarrassed she admits she also has feelings for him and Lonan. The two lovebirds start plotting on how to start testing the waters with Lonan

After many MANY attempts at subtly flirting, Lemon finally bucks up the courage and just tells Lonan that she and Tadhgan would like to court him, all while Tadhgan is blushing brilliantly in the background

Lonan self combusts, agrees, but makes them tell him every time they flirted with him all the while Savio makes fun of him for not noticing. Lemon does tell him each instance, also teasing him lightly but grinning the entire time because she's so happy. Tadhgan tempering her teasing with him admitting he’s just so happy Lonan is interested 

Lemon/Lonan= Enemies->Rivals->Friends->Lovers, full of sass but moments of softness between them, no one can tease the other while they’re around because they’re the only one allowed to be mean to them. Lemon tops 80% of the time, and they initiate fairly evenly. Lonan is the little spoon.

Lemon/Tadhgan= Childhood friends->Lovers, just so stupidly soft, lots of jokes and laughter, dancing and never sleeping apart, unintentional competition between them (which ends up as both boon and bane for Lonan in many ways). They switch fairly evenly and Lemon initiates the most.

Lonan/Tadhgan= Black Cat Nerd/Golden Retriever Jock, Lonan is so prickly with anyone but Tadhgan or Lemon, meanwhile Tadhgan is a social butterfly but will leave the crowd in a heartbeat to hang out with Lonan. They also switch fairly evenly, but Tadhgan tends to lead while Lonan is more likely to initiate.

[ezlo-x]

Got tagged by @unironicallycringe to make a vote of my fav characters and letting u guys to choose which one is the best :]

Im tagging @butchlinkle @aniimus @purpledamonarch @pespillo and tbh!! Even u can can do it!!

[murfpersonalblog]

Claudia's Celebration of Life: Spark in the Dark - The Actress (Delainey)

As the title suggests, this event is to celebrate the wonderful Claudia; her personality, her aspirations, her journey. The heart for the past two seasons of AMC Interview with The Vampire. This is to take the narrative back to her, proving she's not just a shingle roof for us. 10. Aug 29th & 30th: The Actress (Delainey Hayles)

All of our different Claudias over the decades are iconic; she's a goated character, no matter what. But I absolutely love Delainey.

Claudia in S2 was a completely different beast; and just SO good to follow as she inevitably careened towards her inevitable doom. U_U Delainey perfectly delivered the raw pain Claudia was going through, not just in Paris, but her entire life:

Her frustration was palpable, trapped in her underdeveloped body, and how everyone infantalized her; to her resentment towards Louis and the "stormy romance of YOU TWO!," just sick & effing tired of Loustat & and the mess they put her in by making her. (It's not that she should've never been born--"you are a mistake!"--it's that LOUSTAT should've never raised her; they were unworthy of HER, not the other way around. 😤)

Ofc, Louis (& Jonah) going to Europe is a nod to the IRL Black Exodus of African Americans fleeing the racist homophobic "land of the free" and settling in France, etc. where it was (relatively) safer. But we don't talk enough about Claudia's racial perspective, and how Europe was idealized in HER head.

Her life in America was awful, rock bottom, and she thought it just HAD to be better overseas; that nothing & no one could be worse than "Lestat, Antoinette, the motherf***er, and YOU!" Life has never been easy for her; and she got NOTHING out of vampirism.

Even as a high-yellow racially ambiguous Black girl, Bailey's Claudia was STILL subjected to a barrage of racism in Jim Crow America (2 incidents with white cops calling her a devil & busting into her room on some Breonna Taylor mess; the racist white wenches calling her a "Darkie;" the other racist white wench calling her a "Swamp" Thing; letterman jacket George Zimmerman who wouldn't let her in the college; Bruce raping her after macroaggressively telling her to read a book about (white woman) etiquette; and Tom Anderson's "two-toned daddies" jibe at her being mixed-race). And ofc, her remarks that she & Lou are Massa Lestat's "slaves."

Delainey's Claudia in S2 is VERY candid about race & colorism. She's hyperaware of Louis' privilege as a lighter-skinned Creole Black man, now that both she AND Armand are darker-skinned than Louis/JA, (since she's not being played by a lightskinned actress anymore).

I was SO glad she said that. Cuz it points directly to her naivety & desperate hope that skinship = kinship. She thought leaving America meant leaving Bruce/Lestat/abuse/racism behind.

Alas, she swiftly got her Negro-wakeup-call in Europe; as German Nazis & Ukranian/Russian Soviets were barring Black people entry at every checkpoint; and Romanian white kids rudely poked her face, calling her a "cioara/crow" (Romania's N-word for dark-skinned foreigners X X).

Then Claudia & Louis get to Paris (a historical oasis for Black folk fleeing American racism). She hoped/assumed that the racially diverse Theatre coven led by a dark-skinned brown Coven Master meant that she & Lou would be safer & treated better there than they were in Lestat's coven--and America by extension.

So much focus has gone towards Louis' treatment in Trial, and Santiago & Armand's machinations against him; but we don't talk enough about poor Claudia's treatment, and the overtly racist way they treated her as well. She got her ultimate Negro-wakeup-call when the Theatre killed her in front of a laughing live audience, just like white Americans at Black lynchings.

“We got out and walked down the road, and we found a bunch of white men, women and children. There was no sign of terror in their faces. There was nothing but giggles and laughter as the blood dripped from the nose and from the bullet-riddled body of the victim." (Jim Crow Museum, Lynching Picnics)

I've seen dumb AF takes that the Trial wasn't about race, cuz there's Planche, Armand, Tuan & Quang Pham--1 Black man & 3 Asians. But being racially diverse doesn't make it NOT racist, LOL. "I'm not racist, I have 3 Bipoc friends~! This company's not racist, we hired 2 Bipocs! This country's not racist, we have a half-Black president!" 🙄 Euro-America's racist AF, and they've got PLENTY of minorities. Just look at the UK riots that've been happening all summer, DUH!

Regardless of how many Bipocs are in the coven, it's Black people who're still the ones being exploited & oppressed (Baby Lou Lou), and the ones Santiago wanted dead the most (Claudia & Louis). Lestat openly admitted to breaking Rule #2 and that he should be punished too, but they told him to STFU & stick to the script--STAY ON CODE, and reap the benefits of white privilege. (ONLY Madeleine was offered a get-out-of-jail seat in the coven. But when she rejected Santiago's coven & proudly declared "My coven is Claudia," she got the "Race Traitor" treatment when she chose to die with her Black lover--as we've seen historically (X X X) and even currently.)

(Also, your own people can betray you & sell you out, just to please white folk on the winning side. Planche was giddy as he stuffed Louis in that vault & carved his name on the door--why would he--the token Negro--go against the coven? 🙄😒)

As dark-skinned as he is, Armand never GAF about Claudia, "tell her she's beautiful." The coven painted Lou as a Black thug & sexual predator, but they depicted Claudia as a hideous MONSTER:

"You ain't a girl, you a DEVIL!"

Tuan drew her that way, but ARMAND told Tuan what to draw, to make Louis & Claudia look as BAD as possible: GUILTY! DEATH!

Armand never had an ounce of regard, respect, or faith in Claudia.

Armand's physical abuse stands out, too.

It was bad enough when Loustat did it in S1, but just look at this SIZE difference--how dang TINY Delainey is, compared to Assad! 😩

Look how much she had to struggle to drink from that dude at the mansion--she's barely tall enough to reach his neck with him leaning back! XD

(Claudia's so dang adorable--even when she's being a total terror, lol.)

Delainey's casting just nails it--she's so effing SMALL & baby-faced, but her voice is HUGE; she hollers up a storm every episode telling these dumb vamps off about themselves. She has a raspiness that IIRC Delainey herself said is supposed to sound like an old woman chainsmoking cigarettes, just fed up as no one picks her, loves her, or even believes her or believes in her: the sheer embodiment of being a Black woman in the Western world--Old (Europe) or New (America).

Delainey was amazing all season, doing all those languages, simping for the Theatre, singing & dancing, telling Louis like it is, being so sweet with Madeleine, and reliving the trauma of what Bruce did to her.

She didn't take Bailey's cold hard steel approach; sharp as the edge of Louis' blade; an impenetrable fortress so that Lestat can't see her vulnerability & crack/break her. Instead, Delainey's take was soft and warm. She's child-like in her naivety around the Theatre, and determination to see herself as one of them & conform, just as Louis had to conform his whole life in NOLA.

Ofc, she learns otherwise when they turned her into a minstrel show, and killed the joy out of her.

She gets hotter & hotter until she finally boils over. Delainey's my favorite during the Trial (Ep7's my fave episode in S2). The Trial's such a massive moment, and I was so hyped to finally see it on screen for the first time ever (the film skips it, and in the book it's short & choppy since Loustat were both falling in & out of consciousness and didn't really remember wtf had happened). My heart was in my effing stomach when she got up and started tearing Lestat a new arsehole.

Delainey 100% sold me on how much AGONY Claudia must've been in, on her feet like that, determined & STRONG enough to stand up and defend herself, since no one else would/could. I was right there with her the whole time, like wtf, ohhhh I was PIIIIIIISED.

And this LOOK she gave Lestat when she was done!?!

Tired, but resolute & SMUG/satisfied all in one. She purses her lips & raises her brow like: kiss my whole entire 14-year old Black arse; I did more in 2 minutes than you've done in 200 years, CLOWN.

Best thing he ever did for her was let her CURSE y'all! Enjoy being effing haunted in Season 3, Lestat! 😜👻👻👻

So I PRAY Rolin does justice to Delainey's Claudia in whatever S3 holds for her. I DEMAND to see ghost!Claudia come back with a vengeance! The queen said she has unfinished business! 👸🏾😈

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley, Calliope, Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor, Karkat Vantas, John Egbert, Gamzee Makara, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jane Crocker, Jake English

Candy, page 21

ROXY: thx everyone for joining us today

ROXY: we are gathered here to honor the memory of alternate universe jade

ROXY: alas we hardly knew her

ROXY: by which i mean we didnt know her at all

ROXY: cuz she fell out of the sky like a week ago and was already dead

ROXY: but i think that based on our long acquaintanceship with alive jade we can safely assume that she was totally rad

JADE: (ugh)

ROXY: so were all here to contemplate the vast cruelness of the universe that such radness was plucked in its prime

ROXY: psst callie the roses

CALLIOPE: oh, of coUrse!

CALLIOPE: pUrple roses traditionally represent love at first sight, however these roses are actUally red roses that we prepared Using a blUe dye.

CALLIOPE: the blUe rose is the most elUsive and mysterioUs of all flowers.

CALLIOPE: the combination of red and blUe in this context is meant to evoke the dUal natUre of death, in that there is nothing more mysterioUs and impossible to comprehend than the vast void of the afterlife, bUt also there is nothing that makes Us appreciate the life and and love that we already have than the mystery of death.

CALLIOPE: while death is terrifying, there is always joy to be foUnd among the sorrow. each time we witness death, we fall in love with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

ROXY: woah callie thats a beautiful metaphor

CALLIOPE: aw, thank yoU roxy. u_u

ROXY: dont sound so humble it is v v deep

CALLIOPE: i jUst can’t take credit for external inspiration.

ROXY: lmao cmon callie youre the literal muse

CALLIOPE: yes, bUt yoU’re...

ARADIA: oh no did we miss the entire corpse party

ARADIA: i hope not

SOLLUX: yes that w0uld be *such* a tragedy.

ARADIA: oh shush you

ARADIA: the tragedy is what i dont want to miss!

KARKAT: ARADIA?

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT... SOLLUX?!

SOLLUX: hey l0ser. it’s been a l0ng time.

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A...

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A “LONG TIME”?!

KARKAT: IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME?! IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A FUCKING HUMAN DECADE!

KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD.

ARADIA: no i wasnt dead

KARKAT: NO, I MEAN LIKE

KARKAT: “GONE FOREVER”??

KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE!

KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.

SOLLUX: 0h. n0pe.

KARKAT: FINE!

KARKAT: WALTZ IN HERE WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER. SOUNDS ABOUT FUCKING RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE YOUR SUDDEN AND UNEXPLAINED PRESENCE IS ANY LESS OF A JOKE THAN THIS “FUNERAL” WE’RE HAVING.

KARKAT: I MEAN, WHY STOP AT SOLLUX AND ARADIA?

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

KARKAT: NEPETA, ARE YOU THERE? COME ON OUT! THE CORPSE PARTY WOULDN’T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU!

ROXY: SHOOSH everyone!

ROXY: there will be a reception with cake n candy after the service

ROXY: u all can have ur poignant reunions then

ROXY: before we unite in tearful togetherness we gotta unite in tearful loss

JOHN: wait... there’s more?

JOHN: i thought that nice speech callie made was, like...

JOHN: pretty much the funeral.

ROXY: lol no

ROXY: callie and i were just gettin started

JADE: oh my god...

ROXY: anyway where was i?

CALLIOPE: how the infinite mystery of death makes Us appreciate the love we have!

ROXY: right

ARADIA: so i see you managed to get out of the fridge

GAMZEE: i DiDn’T jUsT gEt OuT oF tHe FrIdGe, I wAs SeT fReE sIsTeR!

ARADIA: i see

GAMZEE: wHeN tHe DoOr Of ThAt FrIdGe pOpPeD oPeN iT wAs LikE i Be AlL sEeIn ThE lIgHt AnD sHiT.

SOLLUX: well yeah

SOLLUX: that’s what happens when s0me0ne 0pens a d00r t0 a t0tally dark encl0sure.

SOLLUX: fuck, i can’t believe y0u’re still this stupid.

SOLLUX: 0h wait i can.

GAMZEE: nO bRoThEr, It’S a MoThErFuCkIn MeTaPhOr.

GAMZEE: A mEtApHoR fOr ThE mIrAcLe Of rEdEmPtIoN!

ARADIA: redemption

GAMZEE: yEaH cHeCk It ThE fUcK oUt.

GAMZEE: i DiD My MoThErFuCkInG rEdEmPtIoN aRc. :o)

ARADIA: is that so

GAMZEE: i BeEn DoInG aLl KiNdS oF gOoD dEeDs At ThE lOsT mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

GAMZEE: pReAcHiNg ThE hOlY wOrD. mAkInG oUt WiTh OrPhAns.

ARADIA: oh hmm

SOLLUX: isn’t it “kissing 0rphans”?

ARADIA: let him talk sollux

GAMZEE: i EvEn GoT a HeAlThY mUtUaLlY fUlLfIlLiNg kIsMeSiS gOiN oN wItH tHaT fOxY hUmAn BrOaD uP fRoNt.

ARADIA: its so nice that you believe all that gamzee

ARADIA: i think i can honestly say

ARADIA: im reasonably happy for you?

ROXY: omg quiet in the back already!

ROXY: were tryin to have a beautiful and solemn proceeding up here

ARADIA: oh im sorry

ARADIA: i do agree that its a beautiful corpse party

ARADIA: but i think it would be even MORE beautiful if we could you know

ARADIA: actually see the corpse?

KARKAT: OH MY GOD ARADIA, WHY ARE YOU STILL LIKE THIS?

ROXY: oh lol ur right i cant believe that slipped my mind

ROXY: hey jake a lil help?

ROXY: im like hella pregnant here and shouldnt be doing any heavy lifting

JADE: ughhh...

DAVE: yo babe its ok

JADE: easy for you to say! youve got practice with this kind of thing!

DAVE: just remember its not actually your corpse

DAVE: i mean technically it is

DAVE: it both is and isnt your corpse at the same time

DAVE: which yeah the longer you think about it like that the more fucked up it gets

DAVE: but also when you objectively think about it the combined multiverse is a huge tangle of interrelated but totally random events and its only chance that this specific life is the one you ended up living

DAVE: you and that corpse could have just as easily switched places

DAVE: but also that would never actually happen because its not how paradox space works

DAVE: anyway my point is that nothing really matters so chill out

JADE: um, i love you with all my heart dave but youre REALLY not helping right now

ARADIA: now this is more like it

JADE: i cant look...

DAVE: oh

DAVE: here

JADE: uhh... what... are you doing??

DAVE: emotional support yo

ROSE: Dave.

DAVE: what

DAVE: id like to see you do better

KANAYA: Me Too Actually

ROSE: I’m sorry, but I’m not the one whose questionable consolation tactics are on trial here.

CALLIOPE: this isn’t a trial! it’s a fUneral!

JOHN: haha, they’ve got a point rose, you gotta admit.

ROSE: A point about what?

JOHN: um...

JOHN: you’re not great at consolation? just saying.

KANAYA: Oh You Dont Know The Half Of It

ROSE: Excuse all of you, but I’m an excellent advice giver.

JADE: umm nobody said anything about advice giving rose...

JOHN: oh yeah, the advice is top notch.

JOHN: but you’re kind of a weird person to like... cry in front of?

JOHN: no offense.

ROSE: What??

JOHN: the first time i ever got upset in front of rose irl, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that i had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

CALLIOPE: everyone, we’re getting rather off track...

ROSE: I was doing both for your information.

DAVE: the first time rose hugged me it was such a disaster we didnt make eye contact for like a week after

KANAYA: Jade Come Here I Shall Hold You In My Arms

JADE: thank you kanaya at least ONE of you knows how to treat a lady in distress!

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

JANE: I’m sorry, Mr. Vantas. Do you have another unsolicited political opinion you’d like to share with everyone?

KARKAT: CONSIDERING THE SHIT GEYSER THAT JUST SHOT OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE CANNON, I’D SAY MY OPINION IS PRETTY FUCKING SOLICITED RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

CALLIOPE: EVERYONE!

CALLIOPE: be qUiet!!!!!

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason.

CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end.

CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

ROXY: look everyone im not dumb ok even tho i act like it sometimes

ROXY: i know whats goin on here

ROXY: that were all drifting apart

ROXY: and i know thats just a normal part of growing up and making new families

ROXY: and i guess learning that some people have unbridgeable divides on political stuff

ROXY: i can accept that things arent gonna always be the same as when we first met

ROXY: specially with dirk gone

ROXY: damn...

ROXY: even though its been more than a year i still feel it like he died yesterday

ROXY: what callie said earlier about death being mysterious and full of love is true

ROXY: i dont know if i ever would have gotten up the courage to marry john if dirk hadnt died

ROXY: sometimes i think about what it would have been like if he was still here

ROXY: i think we can all agree that if dirk didnt kill himself there would be some big differences in the lives of people here in this room

ROXY: i cant say if theyd be good or bad

ROXY: maybe when it comes to this kind of thing... like

ROXY: infinite probability and multiple universes and shit

ROXY: good and bad dont matter

ROXY: theres no better or worse just different

ROXY: even with dead jade here whos to say that the world she came from was actually worse than ours?

ROXY: she probably died a heroic death doin something incredible

ROXY: we probably only have the great lives we do right now because of her sacrifice

ROXY: the universal odds of us all being alive and healthy and together like this are so infinitesimally low that its literally impossible for us to understand with our limited linear consciousness

ROXY: isnt that amazing??

ROXY: so even if this is the last time were all ever in the same room like this

ROXY: i think its just incredible we could be here in the first place

ROXY: out of a sempiternal number of possibilities we are the only incarnation of this exact specific moment in all of existence

ROXY: i think that we should all look around and be super grateful for what we

ROXY: wh... what we

ROXY: wh... wha...

ROXY: whoah fuck

CALLIOPE: roxy? are yoU okay?

ROXY: of course im not ok i just WENT INTO FREAKING LABOR

JOHN: oh my god!

JOHN: oh my god!

JOHN: it’s happening, oh my god!!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: oh my GOD!!!

ROXY: omg john are you just gonna keep shouting oh my god or are you GONNA HELP YOUR WIFEY OUT

JOHN: OH MY GOD!!!!!

JOHN: doing ok there, sweetheart?

ROXY: ugh whyd i let you put this thing inside me

JOHN: don’t worry roxy! we’ll get it out as soon as we can!

JOHN: er, by “it,” i mean our child.

JOHN: we probably shouldn’t be talking about him in dehumanizing terms before he’s even born, huh?

JOHN: seems like kind of a bad omen?

ROXY: omg.......... john SHUT UP

ROXY: i need like six gallons of demerol STAT

ROXY: lets GOOO

JOHN: right! going!

CALLIOPE: wait! i...

CALLIOPE: i woUld like to be there as well!

JOHN: hurry up then!

JADE: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

JAKE: By jove!

DAVE: jesus fuck

CALLIOPE: jade! yoU...

CALLIOPE: yoU’re alive!

CALLIOPE: or, Um,

CALLIOPE: yoU’re not dead!

JADE: i am not jade.

CALLIOPE: then who...

CALLIOPE: who are yoU?

JADE: you know who i am, calliope.

JADE: we met once, years ago.

JADE: you were dead, and so was i.

KANAYA: This Certainly Is A Turn Of Events

ARADIA: ill say

ARADIA: at first i was underwhelmed with the proceedings i have to admit

ARADIA: but that was quite the twist

ARADIA: this may be one of the best death related celebrations ive ever seen :)

SOLLUX: t0p five at least.

JADE: you’re undoubtedly surprised.

JADE: but these events were not unpredictable at all.

JADE: this is exactly what i have been expecting to happen.

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you,

JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

JAKE: Hey uh.

JAKE: Not to come off as a total idiot here but...

JAKE: Who were you supposed to be again?

JADE: my name is calliope.

JADE: i am the muse of space.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

results time yay:

let's go by number of votes from least to most:

Ski accident: if I had been trying to make this hard I would have made up an accident like that, but I did not, I once took a turn on like a U shaped stretch of slope too tight without seeing that at that tightness there was a 30cm or sthg like that drop, which mean I was in the air for a couple meters, meaning by the time I hit the ground it was too late to actually turn now, which meant I went straight down into the forest. Thankfully a tree caught me after a couple meters and I got away with only a scratch on my back. Sure shocked all my relatives though.

Stabbing: what shall I say a broken compass in your pocket on the way home from middle school is an excellent tool to stab a bully in the arm with. Unfortunately I directly hit a nerve so it didn't really cause him any pain except for that he later had to make up a story how it happened by accident instead of while he was trying to beat up his classmate after school.

Surprised a whole 10 of y'all thought I would make up a story about violence tbh. I would never brag about stabbing someone if I didn't actually do it.

Artorias and his ravine: the eleven people who voted for this one better all have excellent faith in my gaming skills like Mika does:

alas, unfortunately I did not one shot Artorias. I opened up the shortcut to him, went back to the bonfire to spend my souls, then I walked across the bridge over the ravine and fell off that one annoyingly slippery section. Then I went and fought him and ALMOST oneshot him, but I got careless at the end because I was disappointed by how easy the fight was. Then I went over the ravine and AGAIN fell in exactly the same place. And then I destroyed him without even using my pyromancy. Artorias: 1, Ravine: 2

anime since 1995:

as correctly guessed by 14 correct people I am still missing a year, namely 1996 u_u

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

3!!!

3) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?

oh man...........i have a LOT but basically i have a petermart au thats 80% a "martin works in the tundra" au without the magnus institute in the middle, right? with peter slowly swaying martin to the lonely but also having a lot of homoerotic tension w/ him, cuz they're p lonely in different ways and also kinda get the other yknow what i mean?

the thing is, the fic would be all in peter's pov except for a couple of letters/diary entries intersected in between scenes, where it makes obvious for the reader that martin isnt human either! he's a buried avatar! ocean themed! (And it makes sense ok it all makes sense in the context of the au)

so the very last scenes of the fic would be peter reaching for martin thinking that finally, finally, he's got him, that martin was gonna give himself to the lonely or whatever, but as the entire ocean falls down on top of them and martin keeps him under, alive, peter finally realizes that he walked right into a trap (and here's the thing, bc while peter could smell the loneliness and smth weird reeking from him martin could smell the same, and here's the thing bc it means thorough the entire fic they were both trying to do the same, and isnt that so fucking funny?). And after that scene of revelation the screen goes dark and we're left with martin's arms wrapped around him in the darkness of the deep, but also he feels peter's presence wavering, as if he weren't there from time to time, so the last thing we have is the strong implication that while martin is feeding off him w/ the pressure of the ocean and also his arms keeping him down peter is also feeding of his loneliness, and the question arises of will peter die, eventually? will they feed off each other like a snake eating its own tail ad infinitum? will they eventually starve? was there love, in the middle of all the deception? you dont know! the curtain is closed! the fic finished! go home!!!!!!!!!

[meta asks for writers]

[kerokero-keroppii]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

today i summoned 1,000 crabs! i caught 7 💰 of them. i became friends with 617 🌼 of them. 226 fell in love with me 💙

group picture!!!

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[thereluctantinquisitor]

My beloved half-orc barbarian met her demise the other night, fighting a balor. 

She died as she lived. Furiously.

RIP my dear -1 int powerhouse. You will be missed.

[farshores]

CaryKai may become a reality but what about CaryTei? 🥺

alas it isn't meant to be anon. Tei was toddling around during the 5 yr conflict after the Great War, so they were raised in a very anti-thalmor mindset. It dwindled into tolerance held up by a thin string with Nebs, but Tei stays relatively distant (& mean, if i'm honest) when it comes to Cary - even when everyone else warms up around him. The idea of pursuing a relationship with the prince of the Thalmor? unthinkable, they'd rather let Alduin kill them on the spot than betray their home like that

There's a reason Cary rarely travels with Tei/only tends to travel with other members of the party if they are available u_u

[starlightshore]

kizzerific: idk if you meant you want to watch it live, but there's a full production up on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rJoB7y6Ncs

YESSS thank you! i do wanna see it live someday but alas not anytime soon lol

i watched the first hour of this last night and aaaaaa its so beautiful!!!! shame my adhd keeps making me antsy and i have trouble sitting through it U_U

[zenosanalytic]

Discovery: What’s Past is Prologue

That was GREAT! This is Long :| :| :|

Ok, so this episode managed to be both a mile-a-minute, actioned-packed THRILLAGANZA and a This-is-why-we-love-Trek Federation Lovefest, which is Quite A Feat owo

For any new Dear, Dear Readers thinking about venturing below the Cut: Over time I’ve found that writing conventional reviews for fan-media usually leads to me producing 10k word dissertations on them, so I do bullet-point reviews instead, sticking to core-reactions. This is STILL almost 3k words though, so, just be aware: when I say something is Long I ain’t kidding :| :| Also my reaction to stuff like Trek tends to be much more Ecstatic that my TSoW review, so expect... Informality o_o o__o o___o

Ok, so Discovery’s Landry was Fed!Landry afterall.

Looks like the Terrans have some sort of Holographic camouflage? Maybe it’s just something Stamets worked out on his own, tho, given how the Terran Empire works.

So Lorca got to the Fediverse the same way Kirk originally arrived in the Mirrorverse! I wonder if that means Fed!Lorca was transported to the Mirrorverse and died? Lorca’s ultimate Mirrorverse-fate was never explained so it’s difficult to say.

This ep’s mutiny/innership fight easily ranks up there with the best from DS9 and Voyager(the only two series with genuinely interesting/exciting examples). The battle over this city-sized planet-killing spacewarpalace is well-paced, tense, and both tactically and emotionally satisfying ouo

It also makes good use of the Terrans. We get to see some examples of their more aggression-oriented tech(like interior defense turrets and the like), examples of how powerful individuals hoard tech to themselves ala Mirror!Kirk’s Tantalus Field(Georgiou’s secret emergency transport, her bracelet, and the Stamets-designed fungal-tech integrated into the ship. Though I kept hoping she’d deploy that murderdisk from last ep again; no joy :T), and some examples of major philosophies within their society(a warrior-ethic in Georgiou’s appreciation for Burnham’s plan and fighting-ability, and her willingness to die fighting to buy Burnham time and display the ideals of her social station near the end, and Lorca’s “Man of Destiny” nonsense throughout).

“...he preyed on my Sentiment, my Weakness for your Face; It will NOT happen again.” Mirror!Georgiou is just so deliciously campy uwu uwu I like how the showrunners chose to make melodrama one of the distinguishing characteristics of the Mirrorverse :> :> :>

...Was that a The Fountain pan when Stamets walked into the Mycelial garden? It LOOKED like a The Fountain pan.

Saru is such a good captain u_u

“...The Terrans are egotistical enough to believe they can replenish this resource before it collapses.” HMMMMM WHERE COULD THESE MIRRORVERSIAN HUMANS POSSIBLY HAVE GOTTEN THAT TRAIT FROM???? Tho, as far as they go, this is probably one of the subtler Global Warming/Carbon Economy analogies to ever pop up in SFF media.

“Make the Empire Glorious Again!” We all, of course, See What You Did There :| :| Though again: much less hamfisted that the usual “Make America Great Again” references media’s filled up with over the last year.

Anyone else notice the gigantic gold frieze of Georgiou over the Imperial Throne??

Saru: “I will Not Consider leaving you Behind.” SARU IS SUCH A GOOD CAPTAIN }:| }:|

It’s a small thing, but Lorca’s continued and varied use of psychology as a weapon and tool of manipulation, something which goes back to the beginning of the series and his use of that distress signal to “motivate” Discovery’s crew, continues to impress me with the showrunners concern for consistent characterization, and their understanding of how complex characters and stories can be built from reiterating simple concepts and character notes in different situations.

Destiny’s not a thing, of course, it’s a fallacy of ego to believe that 1)occurrences involving you are about you and 2)that, because they involve you, they were meant to happen and play out as they did. Fundamentally, it’s self-narration; a recontextualization that, simultaneously, places oneself as the author of one’s life(since you are deciding what it means) and apotheosizes one’s life(and thus oneself) by declaring that narrative the product of divine will. That Lorca’s primary dislike for Stamets seems to arise not from his betrayal but from his rationalist rejection of Fatalism tells you a lot about his narcissism, and how central it is to his worldview.

There’s an interesting metacommentary about how “grittiness” is treated as serious, masculine, and realistic while optimism is treated as frivolous, feminine, and fantastical begged by Lorca’s conversation with Burnham here, and his assertions that the Mirrorverse is “the real world” and the Fed a “failed social experiment”. It’s also a good reminder of his nature as a scientist, and says much of how he thinks and justifies his behavior, that he would choose scientific metaphor for denying the reality of the Fediverse(though obvsl he’d need SOME way to do it to keep himself motivated to return, given that he’s way too egotistical, and too chauvinistically Terran, to just accept that both are equally real).

It also reveals that he REALLY doesn’t understand Burnham at all. She’s a culturally Vulcan Human, for Pete’s Sake; how deluded do you have to be to think that this sort of essentialist argument about biological “Superiority” and sociogenetic Eugenical(“Social Darwinism” in common parlance but, given this thinking predated Darwin and his theory, and other things, I don’t like the term) rhapsodizing would appeal to her, when her whole existence disproves it?

“...that’s why we have duty to lead”? That seems like a bit of a non-sequitur, but I couldn’t get captions to work on this ep so I can’t say for sure that this is what he said. If it is, that’s a really twisted conception of “Duty”, to cast it as the driving concept behind species-segregation and Eugenic Hierarchy. Also, he really doesn’t understand why she did what she did at the battle of the binary stars, or what that fight was about. He seems to think 1)she caused the fight, and 2)it was a conflict about preserving Federation “cultural purity” from some kind of Klingon “corruption”.

Lorca’s comment about Burnham’s “gifts”… taken in hand with the last ep’s “someone better came along, you know how it is” comment, suggest Lorca is incapable of conceiving of people in non-instrumental terms, especially in a romantic context.

Burnham’s explication of the existentialism and affirmation at the heart of the Federation is Pure and Good u_u

Stamets: “We’ll have to use all our Spores. We won’t be able to jump back home” Ensign Rhys: “We’ll need to be close to make that shot |:T” The Federation! ^u^

Ensign Detmer: “I don’t think we can avoid the blast”, Cadet Tilly: “our shields can’t repel the blast and we’ll all die” Saru: shakes head and clicks: *Inspiring Motherfucking Shakespearean Goddamn Speech*[1] THE FEDERATION! THE FEDERAAATION!!!! PEOPLE LOOK IT IS THE FEH-EH-EHDERAH-AH-AH-TIONNN!!!!!!!! :’D :’‘D :’‘‘D

But Seriously, THIS is probably one of, if not The, best Star Trek Captain’s speech ever.

The speech, the action, the at-turns practical, sappy, and optimistic Fed dialogue, the explication of Federation ideals in the face of true danger, challenge, and Doubt: THIS ep is just such a summation of everything that makes people Love Star Trek.

That their writing staff is aware enough to give Burnham the line, “But know this: I’m offering you my Mind; nothing more.” when making her faux-offer to sacrifice herself for her crew is one of the many reason I love this series uwu uwu

As always, Science and Tilly saves the days! I like how simple the solution is, though it’d have been more believably Physicist of Stamets to say not “but not just an explosion” but rather, “but an explosion is a Shockwave!” Also: Trek ships do Quite a Bit of cosmic surfing, don’t they? This sort of thing’s been the solution to dire situations rather frequently o.o

The warp bubble technobabble is equally simple(as opposed to TNG’s frequent reliance on nonsensical verbiage), but I don’t like the solution they went with. A Warp Bubble Warps space. The Mycelial shockwave produces an energetic wave(an explosion) in space, but it also ripples through levels of subspace(including the mycelial network). So theoretically, the Warp Bubble could be attuned in such a way as to interact with these subspace waves in a fashion which would allow Discovery to “ride” them into and through the Network. That’s how I’d have written it, at least.

I’d also like to reiterate, yet again, how well Discovery has integrated respect for Tilly, a mere Cadet, into the Federation ethos. They’ve handled this way better than TNG did with Wesley.

Lorca: “I truly admire you all. You proved such Excellent Clay for my genius leadership” Like I said “Instrumental” >:T Such good, consistent characterization!

Also: Lorca: *Melodramatic Villain Speech* Saru: “Whatever, Napoleon, show me my crewman!” SUCH A GOOD CAPTAIN.

Also Also: Federation pragmatic optimism vs the gothic egotism of Terra

Saru yelling “FIRE!” was SOOOOOO Satisfying owo

Shit Fuck-Uping Commences

Trek-talk will inevitably focus on things other than combat because, philosophically, that’s not really what the show’s about or what draws most fans to it(see above), but Discovery really does have, hands down, the Best fight choreography I’ve ever seen in a Trek series, and most of the movies too. It probably helps that they have Actresses and Actors, like Michelle Yeoh and Jason Issacs, with substantive experience in stage-fighting, but everyone’s performance in these melees is just so excellent, and the flow of them is so fluid and sure, that it HAS to be their fight crew. Also: have I ever seen a mace and its use portrayed with reasonable accuracy in a screen fight before? No; but here’s Burnham, just absolutely TRASHING people with that scepter like a Goddamn Boss :> :> :>

Though there’s an obvs level of unreality to this: you clock someone anywhere around the head, neck, or shoulders with a steel mace and they ain’t keeping fighting you. They’re going Down; they’re DONE

Georgiou’s fighting here is just so brutal and clean. The way she just turns around and slashes that guy’s throat. Her meaty-stabs to that other guy’s gut. Her throw into Lorca’s shoulder. Her KICKING HER OWN KNIFE OUT OF THE AIR WHEN LORCA THROWS IT BACK!!! Magnificent u_u Beautiful u_u u_u Majestic u_u u_u u_u

Lorca Egotism Watch: Unceremoniously Cuts down Landry for having the gall to fight Burnham. Yup |:T |:T She just can’t catch a break, but that’s what you get for loyalty to a person who only sees other people as means to an end.

One particular thing I like about the choreography is how they allow Yeoh to use her smaller size and stabler center of gravity to her advantage. Having her roll, dodge, duck under Lorca’s slashes, use throws and grab, attack Lorca’s feet; such excellent choices, especially given industry standard which is to ignore physical differences and have everyone fight like they’re a 6ft+ muscular man.

The mutual face-punch was a nice injection of comedy into this fight sequence(always a good idea, I think, to give the audience a bit of release from tension). Looks like Lorca gets in one of the trophic Star Trek double-fist hammer strikes in at the end. An utterly useless attack irl, but it’s Star Trek and the Forms must be Honored u_u

Lorca: “Don’t make me have to kill you!” Burnham: “You Won’t.” Bad. ASS. Badass. It is a natural byproduct of Vulcan Logic that their dialogue be the Tightest Shit at all times u_u u_u

Burnham’s fight with Lorca is Astounding, but I don’t know enough about fight choreography to really talk about it. Wow it’s cool to watch, though.

“We would have helped you get home, if you had asked” THE FEDERATION!!!!!!!! And more than that; hell, without the war, they’d have probably helped you kick the crap out of the Terran Empire.

Georgiou running Lorca through was Extreme Satisfying owo owo

Looks like my theory of TylerVoq undermining Lorca’s plans is nixed. I’m not upset though, as there’s something satisfying in allowing plots to be separate, rather than tying them all together in one big resolution.

Burnham running out of cover to telesnatch Mirror!Georgiou out of the fight as she energizes THE FEDERATION! THE FEDERATI- Ok, you know my reaction to this stuf. THE IDEALS! THE IDEALS!! This raw concentration of Ideals and Sentiment will Physically Killing me isttg u_u u_u u_u

They tied the science part of the escape to the action of the shipboard fight so seamlessly, and continue the tension of those scenes into the escape so excellently! 

Another Little Thing that’s actually a Big Thing which I’m only now just noticing, probably because Oladejo(Ensign Owosekun) gets so much more screentime in this ep, is how good a job Discovery does at lighting and filming non-white skin and particularly dark skin, even when not a main character. I’m thinking of it particular in comparison to Agents of SHIELD which is absolutely atrocious on this point. At no point, even when they are in a dark area, or in red light, do Martin or Oladejo or any of the Black cast look washed out or obscured, as Henry Simmons almost always does as Mac even in some well-lit scenes. Just really excellent.

I REALLY HOPE that “Thanks Hugh” and aria isn’t the last of Culber. I continue to wish they’ll rez him, somehow. That was an objectively Romantic scene, though u_u

The ending revelation that they’re 9 months in the future and the Klingons have won the war is certainly surprising, but none of that’s official Fed history, so I’m pretty confident we’ll be seeing some time travel in the final eps. I’m a bit trepidation as to what Mirror!Discovery’s been up to since they’ve been gone <:[

[1]My Fast&Furious rendition of said speech: “Look I’m a coward from a species of cowards and I’m gonna tell you right now: I Ain’t Afraid. I might not know shit about shit, but I know this: you guys are Ride or Die. You’re the Best Motherfucking Crew of Motherfuckers a Motherfucker could ever Fuck Beside, and that’s For Real. That’s from the Heart. Lorca’s a POS, and he used the Power of our Shining Youthful Hearts to do some messed up bs, but we’re Family Y’all and this Ship: she’s OUR big metal space mama -Not his!- and today we’re gonna fly her like we just popped straight out her glowy anti-matter womb with a brace of .45s, a pack of Seagrams, and a surly temper. We got Shit to get Done, and we just ain’t goin down to his Triflin’-Ass Nonsense! So let’s fuck shit up! You have your Orders u_u”

[pesterloglog]

Calliope, Roxy Lalonde, Rose Lalonde

Act 6, page 5613-5625

UU: hello!

TG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TG: ...

TG: calliope?

TG: that u

UU: yes, it is i!

TG: holy shit

TG: the most pious and reverential of shits

TG: turd in a church callie

TG: you startled me!

UU: sorry! :u

TG: but yeah so

TG: hey!!!

TG: nice 2 finally meet you

TG: wow wee ur pretty

TG: so when you said you werent good looking it turns out that was a bunch of baloney?

UU: no, roxy. i am afraid it was not a helping of yoUr delicioUs earth baloney.

TG: aw dont say that

TG: also you said you were a cherub

TG: but if i am not mistaken you appear to be a troll

TG: unless cherubs actually look like trolls?

UU: alas, we do not.

UU: this is not my trUe appearance. i have taken the form of my trollsona.

UU: i wanted to look more presentable for oUr meetUp. UnfortUnately my trUe visage woUld likely repUlse or frighten yoU.

UU: that is not the first impression i woUld like to make.

TG: girl please

TG: trust me theres nothing you could look like that would make me scared of you or grossed out

TG: i am your friend and i know youre nice inside no matter what, so

TG: could i see the real u?

UU: that is so kind of yoU to say. i can believe that a lovely person like yoU woUld be able to stop herself from recoiling at the sight of my monstroUs face.

UU: bUt it is oUt of the qUestion. i am mUch more comfortable appearing to yoU this way.

UU: really it has more to do with my own dissatisfaction with the way i look than any lack of trUst in yoUr character.

UU: yoU Understand, don't yoU?

TG: yes

TG: its ok callie you can go on keep being a cute troll

TG: im just happy to see you

UU: likewise!

UU: i wish it coUld be Under better circUmstances thoUgh.

UU: we may not have mUch time here.

TG: wheres here exactly

TG: am i still dreamin?

UU: yes. i have led yoU to a dream bUbble of my own design.

UU: my imagination and thoUghts dictate what yoU see here.

UU: as i told yoU earlier, my brother is hUnting for me. so i have created a little sanctUary in space to stay hidden from him.

UU: that is why i coUld not speak to yoU earlier. not oUt loUd at least. he is highly sensitive to my presence, so it is very easy for me to get his attention if i'm not carefUl.

UU: bUt as long as we stand in the centre of this vortex, we may speak as loUdly as we like! no information can escape this dark pocket, so long as i maintain it.

UU: and seeing as yoU are a hero of void, yoU make an ideal gUest to bring home for one who wishes to remain hidden. thoUgh i will say the fact that yoU are my best friend is a lovely bonUs. ^u^

TG: best bonus!!!

TG: 4 real though its so nice to finally see you no matter what you make urself look like

TG: ive wanted to tell you all about whats been going on with me and my friends since we got together

TG: its been so fun hangin with them even in spite of lets be frank, some truly SELECT teen drama

TG: mmmm see how im kissin my two pinched fingers here? mwah it was like that

TG: the embarrassing teenanigans have been SUMPTUOUS and come highly recommended

TG: no but really its been great, and after some time irl with them it started feelin weird to think we were ever even apart

TG: yet sadly it was not complete because the moment i met them all was also the moment i totally lost touch with my other cool bffsy from THE WEBS

TG: i tried calling and calling your name but you never answered

UU: i know.

UU: i am sorry. u_u

TG: dont be sorry i knew youda answered if you could have

TG: i guess maybe you hid yourself so deep in this dream i couldnt wake ya?

TG: damn this must have sucked spending all this time here hiding from your asshole brother

TG: like i know hes a dick i talked to him enough times to get that but

TG: whys he tryin to kill u so bad?

UU: he is not trying to kill me.

UU: he has already sUcceeded at that.

UU: on the day he foUnd a way to kill my dream self, i was done for. thoUgh to be honest, i doUbt i'd have fared mUch better regardless.

UU: i think his half was always meant to predominate.

UU: my will was simply not strong enoUgh to overcome his. yoU know as well as i how stUbborn he is. i don't think he has ever had even a smidgen of doUbt in his thoUghts, or remorse for his deeds. whereas i was always plagUed by sUch feelings.

UU: on some level i always knew he woUld win. bUt i fooled myself. i thoUght i coUld overcome his ego by looking beyond his negative qUalities, staying optimistic, and working together with him in a game to accomplish something extraordinary.

UU: and that in doing so, perhaps i coUld begin to help him change. to teach him to evolve beyond his hatefUl natUre. and as he changed for the better, slowly but sUrely, he woUld become more like myself.

UU: that was how i thoUght i coUld predominate. it was how i was going to win! and really, if he grew closer to me in that way, by learning kindness and compassion, we both woUld have won. my predomination woUld not have meant his absolUte death, but oUr trUe Union.

UU: bUt sadly, i Underestimated how consUmed he was with the need to destroy me.

UU: now he is completely obsessed with finding my soUl and wiping me oUt for good, even if it means tearing apart the reality that sUrroUnds Us.

UU: he will never feel he has won Until all traces of me are gone.

TG: uuuugh

TG: hearing all that just makes me so unreasonably mad

TG: FUCK that shitlord

TG: i feel so bad knowing you died and there wasnt anything i could do

TG: no matter how much i said your name :(

UU: don't fret. yoU did all yoU coUld.

TG: isnt there some way we could bring you back

TG: some baller fuckin magic, or a bomb ass faeryspell

TG: i mean could we find an answer in like, for instance

TG: YE ENCHANTMENTES?

UU: very Unlikely.

TG: dangit

TG: ok then

TG: if i cant do that

TG: then i guess the next best thing would be

TG: to find your lil shit of a bro and feed him a steady diet of his own ass

UU: ^u^

TG: that is what we are supposed to do right

TG: i mean

TG: from what i gather

TG: the dude is ridicubad news

TG: just such brutal and stinky news

TG: so eventually somebodys got to kill him

TG: and that is probly us aint it?

UU: it's trUe that he deserves a comeUppance like few others.

UU: bUt slaying him is not actUally yoUr responsibility as heroes now.

UU: in fact, if anyone mUst bear that bUrden, it might be me.

TG: oh yeh?

UU: possibly.

UU: as we speak, there are hUndreds of soUls oUt here in the fUrthest ring working to defeat him.

UU: some search for a fabled treasUre. a weapon said to spell his certain demise.

UU: while others say that i myself am this weapon. :U

UU: and so they search for me.

UU: they band together in great nUmbers for this caUse, and attract his devastation in hopes of revealing the path to the weapon.

UU: while at the same time, they draw his attention away from me. and it is a good thing that they do.

UU: i mUst remain hidden from everyone for as long as i can.

TG: why?

TG: why not come out and be all like

TG: here i am yo its me! secret weapon ghost callie ;)

UU: becaUse i am no sUch thing!

UU: i was already Useless against my brother when he was jUst a brat who liked to tease me.

UU: now that he is an exceptionally mUscUlar and invincible adUlt, my chances are laUghable.

UU: no, if i am to contribUte, i need more time.

UU: i mUst go in search of my own weapon.

TG: what weapon?

UU: ironically, the same weapon which many of them are looking for.

UU: me!

TG: ??

UU: it's the only sliver of hope i have.

UU: i have reason to sUspect there may be another iteration of myself oUt here.

UU: one from a doomed timeline, who has kept hidden for a long time, jUst like i have.

UU: bUt Unlike me, she sUpposedly came from a reality where she predominated instead of my brother.

UU: and not by the means which i described. hers was not a mild Union of reconciliation.

UU: amazingly, her predomination was absolUte! a major feat of will, jUst as his was with me.

UU: as sUch, she went on to play the game, and...

UU: well, i cannot even imagine what followed, aside from the fact that she eventUally mUst have died for existing in an offshoot reality.

UU: if she exists, i woUld be eager to meet her. it woUld be a chance to get to know a version of myself who was strong enoUgh to override the will of my brother.

UU: someone i might have become if i had a little more coUrage. u_u

UU: and if she is sUch a person, then i really believe all i have heard mUst be trUe. i believe she is the key to defeating him.

UU: so i have no choice.

UU: i mUst go in search of myself.

TG: you sound like a real popular lady out here

TG: even you are looking for you!

UU: indeed.

TG: well i hope you can find her

TG: but

TG: if thats your job

TG: to find bizarro calliope and go wollop ur bro

TG: then what is our heroic biz?

UU: it's the same as it always was.

UU: to win the game.

TG: oh yeah

TG: duh

UU: it is as i once told jane.

UU: with victory yoU may finally exit this vast whirling storm.

UU: by claiming yoUr reward yoU woUld bring closUre to a very wide coil of caUsality, one not tracing a continUoUs path like a snake, bUt intricately woven like a wreath.

UU: a ring of coUntless little rises and falls, ascents and descents, on its way Up and down a pair of mUch bigger ones itself.

UU: from alpha to beta, then beta to alpha, as if a moUntain to be scaled and then climbed back down. its peak toUches the eye of a storm which cannot end Until the moment yoU all walk throUgh that door.

UU: only then will there be calm.

TG: ._.

UU: ah, bUgger. forgive me, sometimes i forget myself and begin speaking in riddles.

UU: it's jUst a habit that is in the natUre of my people.

TG: yeah i know

TG: at least yours r better than your bros stupid games

UU: don't remind me. in my opinion they do not qUalify as anything of the sort, mUch the same as his "shitty twists". >:u

TG: so then from what im surmising here is we dont need to beat him to win our game

TG: like dealing with him directly is kinda out of our domain?

UU: as the one who provoked the breach in paradox space which i jUst coloUrfUlly described, he has always exerted his inflUence on yoUr realities from afar, and from many different angles. throUgh Unwitting sUrrogates, oUtsoUrced manipUlation, oUtright enslavement, and even petty harassment. bUt most of all, he prevails throUgh the simple inertia of inevitability that has always been on his side, as a lord of time.

UU: and as the one who is to blame for foolishly allowing him access to sUch power, it's only proper that i take responsibility for finding a way to defeat him.

UU: bUt even thoUgh his methods of inflUencing yoUr session are indirect, they are still formidable.

UU: there will be a nUmber of powerfUl foes who stand between yoU and victory.

UU: tomorrow, a terrific battle will take place.

UU: when yoU wake Up, i sUggest yoU begin to prepare.

TG: ummmm ok

TG: how

TG: like make more sick gear

TG: i could hustle up another batch of illwicked guns

TG: just a big ol pile of guns

TG: jake can have the wimpy smaller ones

TG: make jane like a fancy new fork or spoon or such

TG: like an elite endgame spoon

TG: whatever that is

TG: like uh

TG: the chowderfucker 5000

TG: janey be flippin her godspoon round bopping monsters doing like

TG: CUCKOO damage

TG: wont bother make nothin 4 dirk since hes basically married to his boring anime sword

TG: like u could even pry that thing from his rad dead cadaver

UU: yes, i'm sUre new eqUipment woUld come in handy.

UU: now that yoU mention it, well before i died or even realized i woUld not live to play, i made special exception to my rUle of staying linear with conversation. i messaged jane a birthday gift.

UU: yoU see, i had a brief vision from skaia which sUggested to me she coUld Use a boost in morale on this special day, so i offered her something very dear to me. jUst a little token to show appreciation for her friendship.

UU: i hope it will cheer her Up, and moreover that it will prove at least somewhat UsefUl to yoUr party.

UU: bUt really, at this stage if yoU wish to prevail against sUch stacked odds, collecting boons sUch as new weapons and treasUres will only go so far.

UU: i think yoU will need to embrace a far more sUbstantive gambit.

TG: like what

TG: omg are we gonna have to enlist fefeta

TG: is fefeta the secret weapon

TG: its fefeta isnt it

TG: poor, sweet, dear, precious fefeta :(

UU: it is not fefeta!!!

UU: i am sUggesting a measUre that is mUch more extreme.

UU: i believe yoU shoUld all strongly consider ascending to the god tiers.

TG: oh

TG: ok that sounds cool what do we do

UU: well of coUrse it soUnds cool! bUt it's not necessarily as easy as it soUnds, steeling oneself for death. believe me.

UU: bUt if yoU can find the resolve, then here is what yoU mUst do.

UU: since none of yoU have any dream selves left, it won't do any good to sacrifice yoUrselves on the qUest beds foUnd on yoUr respective planets.

UU: and even if yoU did, there is not even a battlefield from which to rise anew. no, yoUr void session had only one path to ascension all along.

UU: yoU mUst travel to the centre of the moons of prospit and derse, and there in the crypt yoU will find yoUr sacrificial slabs. yoU mUst lie on them, and then...

UU: then yoU all mUst die. one way or another. u_u

TG: alright

UU: alright?

TG: yea

TG: fuck it

TG: lets do it

UU: doesn't the thoUght make yoU nervoUs?

TG: well

TG: gettin offed on a moon slab aint my idea of primo funtimes or anything

TG: but like

TG: you end up with super powers after that right?

UU: yes.

TG: and some kinda semi immortality?

UU: yes. :u

TG: and cool costumes???

UU: yes! :U

TG: then what is even the fuckin holdup

TG: lets plop our asses slabward and get down to dying

UU: yoU seem qUite cavalier aboUt this, roxy!

UU: don't yoU have doUbts?

UU: woUldn't it cross yoUr mind to wonder, "what if i never wake Up again?"

UU: i know it woUld for me.

TG: i guess thats a fair point

TG: but

TG: you say ill be fine right?

UU: yes. i believe yoU will.

TG: then thats good nuff 4 me

TG: i trust you

UU: ...

UU: ^u^

TG: but it sounds like we dont have much to pull this off

TG: because foes are a comin?

TG: who are all these foes you say we gotta beat

UU: those who i mentioned my brother has been exploiting as his pawns from afar.

UU: the most obvioUs woUld be the one responsible for the extinction of yoUr race.

UU: and who also happened to be responsible for this most fortUitoUs nap.

TG: huh?

TG: wait

TG: how DID i fall asleep?

UU: yoU don't remember yet?

TG: i remember

TG: a party

TG: and

TG: a sad jane

TG: a poor sad jane with shitty fella problems

TG: and a ruined cake! it was going 2 be so delish, but no

TG: it was claimed by the cruel and unforgiving sands of lopan

UU: ...

TG: i remember

TG: gcat

TG: GCAT!!!!!

TG: god DAMMIT gcat!

TG: he poofed me away with cat magic and i got ko'd by a floor

UU: bUt which floor?

TG: it was

TG: a derse floor?

TG: aw man

TG: was i captured?

TG: the batterwitch has me doesnt she

TG: THATS who you meant

TG: what is she gonna do with me?

UU: as i said, she is his servant, and is obligated to do everything in her power to facilitate the cycle of his existence.

UU: and while nearly all she has done on earth and on derse has been to advance that scheme, that does not mean she's withoUt her own agenda.

UU: i know that she woUld like to see my brother defeated as mUch as anyone else. for her enslavement, for doUble-crossing her, and for orchestrating her people's extinction.

UU: he always did loathe trolls. i've sUspected i may be to blame for their misfortUne as well, considering he knew how mUch i fancied them. u_u

TG: ok so if she wants him dead too and has her own personal secret plans or whatever then whats she want with me

UU: i believe she's looking ahead, beyond the fUlfillment of her obligation. she is likely making plans for after she is liberated. she has lived as a rUler and conqUerer for very long time, and probably coUldn't have done so withoUt sUch gUile and foresight.

UU: if she has captUred yoU, it's certainly for a good reason.

UU: i think she wishes to exploit yoUr abilities as a rogUe of void.

TG: pfahahaha

TG: WHAT abilities

TG: i dont have any abilities

TG: except making screens dark which as superpowers go is lame as hell

UU: none that yoU have gotten in toUch with yet.

UU: bUt rest assUred, yoU have them!

UU: it's like i told yoU before, remember?

UU: a fUlly realized rogUe of void can do remarkable things. things which even other god tiers woUld view as miracUloUs.

TG: like what?

UU: why don't yoU see what it is the qUeen woUld have yoU do?

UU: then yoU may look inside and determine whether yoU have it in yoU to do it.

TG: man

TG: whatever she wants

TG: even if it IS an enemy of my enemy kind of thing

TG: i dont think i could ever bring myself to help her :(

UU: that is Understandable.

UU: jUst do whatever yoU feel is right. i'm sUre yoU will make the correct decision.

UU: yoU see, i trUst yoU too, roxy. ^u^

TG: daw thanx callie

UU: oh no...

TG: what?

UU: OH NO!!!

UU: WHAT IS *SHE* DOING HERE???

ROSE: Mom? ROXY: mom?

CALLIOPE: NO NO NO NO NO! THIS WON'T DO AT ALL!

CALLIOPE: A LIGHT PLAYER? A LIGHT PLAYER???

CALLIOPE: HAVE YOU GONE MENTAL? WHY DON'T WE JUST BURN A BLOODY BONFIRE IN HERE!

CALLIOPE: HE'LL SPOT US ANY MINUTE! ASSUMING HE ISN'T ALREADY ON HIS WAY TO BLOW US ALL TO KINGDOM COME!!!

CALLIOPE: NOT THAT IT HASN'T BEEN DELIGHTFUL! BUT EVERYBODY OUT!

CALLIOPE: OFF WITH YOU, LOVE!

CALLIOPE: SHOO SHOO SHOO SHOO SHOO SHOO!