#alas! not all cases are winners!

[vonlipvig]

the thing with turnabout big top is that, while it's never gonna be a top tier case no matter how much you rewrite it, literally just changing the characters' ages slightly can make it actually bearable. cause it has things that could be good! the sheltered circus kid, the revenge plot gone wrong, the kind but ultimately cruel murderer...it's interesting! but the dumbass ages just coats it all in a disgusting, ugly way that is impossible to enjoy.

like, just do this: make regina 18/19 (she can be an adult and still be sheltered and naive), same with bat, make max 20 if you want to switch it up a bit. the only thing that has to be majorly reworked is ben, i think the romantic story there is unnecessary (quick fix: regina ends up making fun of ben's act in her usual regina way--not realizing that she's being mean and dismissive, to her she's just being constructive and helpful--and ben is obviously pissed, but he's too shy to actually speak up, so trilo ends up being his angrier, combative side. he's also pissed with max because he backed regina up, the fight ensues, etc, ben ends up out in the snow because trilo wants to 'give regina a piece of his mind', boom. there. creep begone).

and that's it! magically the weird shit is gone! sure, the case is still annoying, moe will get on your nerves, the mechanics of the murder are still too far-fetched...but was it THAT HARD to make it bearable?

[ozzgin]

Now that I think about it, probably the only reason the reader doesn't gets kidnapped in Yandere school is because the school is literally filled to the brim with yanderes.

So it's like having a bunch o people trying to get through a door, but never being able to, because there are loads of other people trying to do the same at the same time... and this just makes me laugh.

This is very much the case! To your great luck or misfortune, depending on how you want to view it.

Imagine feeling somewhat lonely because all the students are rather formal and distant. Sure, they’re friendly. They always answer your questions and help you when you’re in trouble. Yet you can’t help but desire more.

You’ve been reading a lot of romance lately, wondering if someday you’ll also encounter someone special between the walls of Yandere School. So, you open your locker secretly hoping to find a love letter. You linger after class, quietly praying someone will offer to walk you home.

Alas, nothing ever happens.

In reality, the entire school is simply sabotaging itself. Your locker is broken into every half an hour, as one jealous student discards the previous confession, replacing it with his own. The cycle continues.

Unbeknownst to you, a group of students violently wrestle each other in the school yard every time you melancholically sigh and await for a companion. Sadly, it’s another evening without a clear winner. One student wipes at their bloodied nose, vowing to be the one walking alongside you next time.

"Maybe one day", you tell yourself, closing the gate behind you.

You briefly glance at a large pile of crumpled notes toppling over the trash. Colorful envelopes, flowers, boxes of chocolate which seem to be untouched otherwise.

"Someone should clean that up already."

[Yandere School Masterlist]

[13uswntimagines]

13 Eras of Us (Taylor Swift x Morgan!R): Era 1 - We Were Both Young When I First Saw You

Request: Taylor Swift x Alex morgan's little sister. They start off as friends and realize that there may be something more.

Chapter synopsis: 1 of 13: The era where everything begins. R and Taylor meet, and become friends. Composed of little moments between them, r and the Team and R and her sister.

Notes: Hey dudes, i'm really really stoked about this series, and i really hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.

July, 2015

We were both young when I first saw you

You sighed, gripping the rubber handles of your crutches, leaning more heavily onto the foam padding under your arms despite the ache it caused from the constant chafing. It was an annoying consequence of your injury. 

A secondary effect that the trainers hadn’t told you about when they convinced you that an Achilles tear wasn’t something you could walk off. When they swore up and down that the two other liniments in your ankle were holding on by threads and absolutely could not hold your weight for another 5 weeks. 

You still hadn’t gotten used to them, not that you really had the chance. 

They were a fairly new addition to your wardrobe, made necessary by one bad tackle only 20 minutes into your first game in Canada, effectively ruining your World Cup run (something you were still bummed about despite your team actually winning the World Cup- not that you would call yourself a World Cup Winner). 

You let out another breath, unable to stop the smile on your face as the lights shifted to highlight the woman on stage. 

She was absolutely mesmerizing in her shimmery silver dress, and it was nice to get to watch without the team lingering behind you. It was the only good thing about being injured. 

You didn’t have to go on the stage with them. 

Alas, you were lucky you got to come to the 1989 tour with the team at all. Taylor Swift had only invited the 2015 World Cup winners. 

It was one of the few benefits of being The Alex Morgan’s little sister you supposed. She sent a text and then you had been invited too. 

It strangely made you feel like a 10-year-old chasing after her and her new college friends, going to places where you just didn’t belong. But then again, you felt that way any time you spent more than an hour with your older sister since she left your sobbing form in the driveway as she headed off to Berkley. 

Things hadn’t been the same between you since, and all of her efforts just felt like a weird form of a twisted apology, even now. 

It was like you were her charity case or something, and that didn’t sit right with you. 

Still, you were grateful she had pulled the strings to get you backstage to one of your favorite singer’s shows. God knew you wouldn’t have survived well in the crowd, especially not now that you could barely stand on your own. 

“Pretty spectacular isn’t it?” 

You flinched at the voice, jerking away from the woman standing close enough to your left side to also be able to see the stage, but not too close. Just like she had been all night. 

She reached out a steadying hand as the crutches wobbled dangerously underneath you, an easy smile never leaving her features. 

You swallowed hard, trying to form words to say anything to Taylor’s mom. 

You weren’t big into fandom or social media, but you still knew who she was, and it felt weird meeting her (definitely not because you had a massive crush on her daughter- or the character her daughter pretended to be on stage). 

“She’s amazing,” You finally managed to force the words from your throat, turning back towards the flashing lights on stage and around the stadium.

Andrea hummed. “She is. You’re pretty amazing too,” 

She had heard about your… reputation but all she had seen from you tonight was a shy kid desperately searching for something. Exactly what that something was she couldn’t put her finger, but she suspected it had to do with the way you were watching your older sister interact all night. 

You shrugged, your shoulders collapsing in on you just a bit. “Right now I’m gimpy, and I couldn’t imagine having the control over an audience that she does,” 

Andrea made a low noise, thinking better than to argue with you. She didn’t know you well enough for a debate. 

She didn’t want to interrupt you any more than she had anyway. 

The way you were staring at the stage was a sight to behold, to say the least, your lip trapped between your teeth and your eyes filled with wonder. 

She had seen many fans in her days, but there was just something… different about how you watched the show. The tender adoration in your eyes was beautiful, and it made the mom in her wonder what the future would hold for you and her daughter. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as style came to an end and your sister disappeared below the stage. 

You smiled towards Andrea. “I better go before they think I tried to escape,” 

She raised an eyebrow at you. “Is that something you’ve done before?” 

You shrugged again, your grin turning impish.

 “I don’t kiss and tell,” You winked as you started to maneuver yourself back towards where you knew Alex would be coming out, and Andreas' laugh sounded from behind you. 

That had been the point after all hadn't it? 

Still, you were slightly relieved when your sister stepped through the curtain that separated the stage from the backstage area. 

While Andrea and the stage managers had been as welcoming as they could be, you still hadn’t felt like you belonged. You hadn’t been the one invited after all. It also helped that you would be getting out of the noise until Taylor got off stage and was ready for the mini meet and greet the team planned. 

“How did that crowd feel?” You asked as Alex approached you, and the crowd at the front of the stage cheered again, painting an interested smile across your features. 

It felt electric from the audience, so you could only imagine what it felt like being on stage, 

“Really good,” Alex smiled widely, wiggling the trophy in her arms just a bit. “Like World Cup good,” 

“It’s insane how she can control a room like that,”

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed. You felt her slow down beside you and her eyes searched your face. “Don’t even think about it,” 

“What?” You asked, your tongue poking out of your mouth as you focused on keeping up with the team. 

“I know you and I know that look,” She said seriously.  “She’s my age, and you’re not 18 for another 10 days,” 

You shrugged. “So?” 

You hadn’t been planning on hitting on America's top superstar, but you would never miss an opportunity to mess with your older sister. Plus, you didn’t see the harm in flirting. 

It was a fundamental part of your personality after all. 

“Y/n I’m serious,” 

Your lips pulled into a playful smirk, glancing up at her as she held the door to a small room for you. “And I’m committed to not being serious,” 

It was no secret that your… extracurricular activities had picked up since your injury, and you had done little to mask your enjoyment of the league's hookup culture since you joined in lew of going to college. 

What annoyed Alex more was that no one in North Carolina would step up and help her stop you. 

“Y/n,” Alex let out a suffering sigh, catching the crutch before you could hobble away. 

“Look, she’s out of my league, and it’s criminal to not tell a gorgeous woman how gorgeous she is,” 

“Kid’s got a point,” Kelley said, appearing at your other side and sending you a small wink. “Shooting my shot is how I landed you after all,”

“That’s true baby horse,” Cheney said, grabbing a coke off of the large catering table that dominated the room. “It’s also how Toby got Chris,” 

“How did we get roped into this?” Tobin groaned, her slightly red-rimmed eyes going wide, popping a grape in her mouth. 

Kelley snorted. “You got roped into this because you asked Chris out after you beat her in the college cup, while she was still on the field,” 

“You fucking proposed to Alex after your team beat her in a shootout,” Christen snickered, shaking her head. “You literally have no room to talk,” 

You chucked at Kelley’s blush, barely noticing the new body that had entered the room and was leaning up against the doorframe next to you. 

“Sounds like the field is a very active place for you guys,” The voice said, and you snapped your head to meet the most gorgeous blue eyes you had ever seen in your entire life. “Though your timing seems… questionable,” 

“Tay!” 

“That was an amazing show,”

“Dude, that crowd is nuts. It’s like they’re eating out of the palm of your hand,” 

Taylor smiled widely at the team, her eyes glimmering in the dressing room light. “Well thank you, it was an absolute pleasure to get to share the stage with you all tonight,” 

She pushed off of the wall, and your eyes followed her like she was a magnet. She looked so… graceful even in a pair of sweats.

“The pleasure was all ours,” Cheney grinned back at her. “it was a blast, thank you again for inviting us,”

“Anything to bring more visibility to what you guys do,” Taylor nodded, looking over the catering table and picking sparkling water from the selection. “It’s empowering to young girls everywhere,” 

You were drawn to her hands as they flexed around the bottle. To her lips as she timed her sips so she could continue her conversation with Cheney. She was so elegant. 

Even in your sexcapades, you had never been so… taken with someone. 

“This is my younger sister, Y/n,” You blinked away from Taylor and towards Alex, and back, feeling taken slightly off guard. You hadn’t realized you zoned out. 

The blonde singer nodded towards you, waving the bottle. “Hey. I’m Taylor,” 

“I’m Y/n,” Your lips quirked up, and you stuck your hand out for her to take, bringing it to your lips when she did. “And I’m your wildest dream,” 

“Very smooth,” Taylor chuckled, pulling her hand back, and you could have sworn she had a little bit of pink dusting her cheeks. 

“Smoother than a fresh jar of skippy,” You winked back, earning an ever louder giggle from the singer. 

The room erupted into laughter, and you sent a proud smirk toward your sister. 

She shook her head. “Don’t encourage her. She’s been practicing all week for this,” 

“Well I can’t practice soccer, so what did you expect?” You shrugged as much as you could over the crutches. “I need to use my talents for something,”

“I think it was amazing,” Taylor cut in, grinning. 

“See!” 

Alex rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. She had obviously been outvoted. It would be a fun story to tell your future significant other anyway. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Y/n,” Taylor said, sobering. “I was happy you could make it, even if you weren’t on the squad,” 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” You nodded, your dimples on full display. “Thanks for the invite,” 

“No way I would exclude one of my favorite players,” She hummed. “I was so sad when you got hurt,”

You felt heat in your cheeks, traveling up to your ears. Taylor knew who you were. She liked to watch you play. 

You swallowed hard. “I should be up and playing again within the next couple of months,”

Your PT promised you that as long as you followed the plan, you’d be back and playing by the end of the season. With the way Paul was pushing you, you knew you’d probably be back sooner. 

“Well, if you’re ever in New York let me know,” She said, pulling out her phone and opening the texting app before passing it to you. “I’d love to see a game,” 

You took the offered item, quickly typing in your number. “Yeah, I’m sure I can get you and the squad good seats,” 

She sent you one last smile before she turned back towards the team. “I’ve gotta go, but it was nice to see you all again,” 

You stared at her, as she waved and left, not actually believing what had just happened. 

Your bad pickup line had gotten you The Taylor Swift’s number, and she wanted to see a game. 

*****

September, 2015

We play dumb, but we know exactly what we’re doing

You never expect Taylor to actually text you. Hell, you weren’t convinced that the phone she let you text yourself from wasn’t a business phone. 

But as it turned out, Taylor did text you. 

First, it was a simple text asking about your recovery because a commentator had mentioned it. Then the conversation between the two of you just didn’t stop. 

And you realized very quickly that you never wanted it to stop. 

You found that Taylor was up at all of the weird hours you were and that no matter what she was doing, she was never too busy to say hello. Then texting turned into hanging out when you were in New York, Florida, or California, and before you knew it, it was a regular occurrence. 

“I fucking suck at this,” You groaned, letting go of the guitar strings and flopping onto your back. “And my fingers hurt now. I’m pretty sure they’re bleeding,” 

You held them up in the air pretending to examine them for the little flecks of red you were sure you would find there. 

“No, you just haven’t practiced enough to build calluses,” Taylor said, and you could hear the eye roll in her voice. 

“I got enough of them on my feet thank you,” You muttered, looking up at her through your eyelashes and wiggling your fingers at her.  “I don’t need guitar string scars on my hands too,” 

She caught your hand, smoothing it over her palm. “Don’t be overdramatic,” 

“Me!” You exclaimed indignantly, holding your hand to your chest in mock offense. 

“Yes,”  Taylor smirked. “This isn’t soccer where you can flop about,” 

You frowned. “I don’t flop,” 

She raised an eyebrow at you, and you pouted. “Fine. I don’t flop often, and not unless it’s necessary,” 

“Whatever you say,” She chuckled, shaking her head. “Sit up and I’ll help you,” 

You pouted but did as she asked, pushing yourself back to sit, crossing your legs so you could hold the guitar like she had shown you the first time you did this. 

Her lips ticked up at you, and she scooted so your knees were touching. 

“Alright so g,” She said, positioning her fingers on the string, waiting for you to copy her. 

You tried, moving each finger to the strings. “Like this?”

“Not quite,” She said, leaning forward and moving your pinky. “That one goes on the low e,” 

You nodded, trying not to blush at how close she was to you. So close that you could smell her coconut shampoo. 

“Now, strum slowly,” She said, leaning back and demonstrating. 

You did your best to copy her, slowly drawing the pick across each of the strings, but instead of making the beautiful chord she was, it made an off-key wamp. 

“I’m hopeless,” You said dramatically dropping your pick and flopping back on her fluffy carpet. “Worse than the whole Tom Sermanni debacle,” 

She sighed and took the guitar off, maneuvering so she was sitting next to you. “I didn’t know you were so easily discouraged. I thought with all the sports, you’d have some resiliency,” 

“I’m good at soccer,” You shrugged.  “My fingers aren’t long enough or sting enough for guitar,” 

“Were you good at soccer to begin with?” Taylor asked you softly. 

You scrunched your nose. The truth was that you had been playing soccer too long to remember when you started. It was always a part of your life. 

“No,” You said finally, biting your lip. “Alex absolutely destroyed me any time we practiced. She even stepped on my neck one time with her rain cleats and gave me a scar,” 

You pointed to the small dimple just below your chin. Sure it had been an accident, but it ultimately was the reason you were a midfielder instead of a forward. 

When you were young, Alex had always been better than you. More competitive, more ruthless, and she didn’t go easy on you in practice. It’s what made you such a good player. 

“But you still play?” Taylor pressed, and your eyes were drawn to how her lips formed a thin line. 

“Not as a forward,” You admitted easily.  “Mom got tired of all of the bickering,” 

Once you switched positions, you and Alex could work together instead of going head to head. It made you a lethal pair and let you both show off your talents. 

It also saved your mother’s sanity. 

“That’s not the point,” Taylor chuckled. “If you can change positions, you can play a chord on a guitar. You just need patience,”

“I wasn’t born with that,” You smirked. 

She rolled her eyes. “Try for me?” 

“Fine,” You sighed, pushing yourself to a sitting position yet again. 

It was kinda scary how easily she could bed you to her will. All she had to do was ask. 

“Put your fingers in position,” She said, leaning forward and checking to make sure they were on the right strings. “And then play each one individually,” 

You grabbed the pick from the floor beside you and very slowly brought it across the strings. All of the strings sounded right except for the pinky. 

“Press down a little harder,” She said, her tongue caught between her teeth as she reached over to help you. “And try again,” 

You did as she asked, and this time, the G chord sounded through her apartment. 

“Great job!” She cheered, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“Thanks,” You cleared your throat and looked away.  “Couldn't have done it without you, literally, but um… can we be done with me playing? I think my fingers are going to fall off,” 

You turned towards her, not realizing how close you were, and nearly brushed her nose with yours. You pulled back, trying not to look at her lips, or her burning blue eyes, focusing on a very small freckle on her forehead because it felt like the safest option. 

The two of you hated a lingering breath, and the air between you felt electric. You would have sworn that her eyes flickered to your lips, just as her tongue poked out to wet her own. 

But she couldn’t be into you. 

She was America’s favorite pop star, she was a fully-fledged adult while you were still basically a kid, and most importantly, she was straight. 

“Yeah, we can do something else,” She hummed, reaching for the guitar and carefully pulling it over your head. 

“Can you play something for me?” You asked, scooping Meredith up and settling her in your lap when she nudged against your leg. 

For a cat that didn’t like being picked up and cuddled, she was very attached to you, except when you were playing the guitar. 

“Sure,” She nodded, grabbing her guitar and plucking out some chords. “Any requests?” 

You shook your head, smiling down at the cat as she kneaded her feet into your thighs and finally plopped down with a short purr. “Whatever you want,” 

“Now that’s no fun,” Her lips turned up, and her head ticked to the side and she reached over to scratch the cat's head. “Come on, what’s your dream surprise song?”

Your shoulders lifted and fell, and more red bled into your cheeks. “Um… I don’t suppose you have the 10-minute version of All Too Well available?”

She chuckled and shook her head, a playful smile pulling at her lips. “Unfortunately, it was a rant that I don’t currently have memorized,” 

“Hey, you asked for the dream song,” You held your hands up in defense, unable to stop yourself from laughing with her. “I think a lot of fans would agree to have that on their list,” 

She shrugged, half in agreement and half in amusement. “I just think it’s funny that it came from a line I said in an interview almost 4 years ago,” 

“Honestly, I think if a demo version of it did exist, it would have been leaked already. Some of your sleuthy fans are obsessed,” You said, your dimples popping out. “I couldn’t not ask for it,” 

She snorted “Trust me, I know. It was a good shot, and if it did exist, I’d totally play it for you. I trust you not to be secretly recording,” 

You hummed, trying not to think too hard about how she trusted you. How she would have played one of her most secret and tightly kept songs for you “But alas it does not,” 

“No, not in a playable form,” She shook her head, her blue eyes shining. “Pick a new one,”

You bit your lip, rolling through the list of songs in your head. “What about State of Grace,”

The piano version had always been one of your favorites, and you so often got the intro stuck in your head. 

“We can do that,” She smiled widely at you and began picking out the chords. “Only if you promise to sing along?”

Your nose scrunched. “You don’t want me to sing, I sound like a dying walrus, just ask Alex,” 

You knew Alex would agree, even if it wasn’t entirely true. You didn’t do music anymore. 

“Hum then,” She conceded, and you nodded. 

You could hum- just not in tune, but you didn’t have to be in tune with Taylor. 

You just had to be yourself, and you had never experienced that with anyone else. 

******

December 2015

Barefoot in the kitchen

Sacred new beginnings 

That became my religion, listen

You eyed the oven warily from across the island, leaning into the cool stone countertop as Taylor flitted around you, pulling out various ingredients. 

It wasn’t that you were afraid of the oven, it was just that you were not known for being a good cook. Actually, you were known for being a very not good cook. 

You were banned from making anything in any of your sister's kitchens, and you rarely ventured to make more than Dino nuggets (which you still burned) on your own. 

As long as you didn’t touch the controls, everything should be fine. 

“You alright?” Taylor asked, setting a stick of butter on the counter next to you, her hand landing gently on your forearm. “You’re staring at the stove,” 

“Yeah,” You blinked away from the copper appliance and towards Taylor, painting an easy smile across your lips. “I’ve just never made cookies before,”

She frowned. “Never ever?” 

You shook your head, biting your lip. You didn’t want to tell her that any time your sisters had tried, it ended in charcoal (and an oven fire… twice) instead of ooey, gooey deliciousness.

“We were more of sports people than baking people,” You explained with an easy shrug. “Plus after a hard game, the precut square ones always do the trick,” 

Her nose scrunched adorably. “But they don’t sell peanut butter chocolate chip cookies in the little squares,” 

“Kelley likes to bake. Jerry too. I’m not usually involved,” You answered with ease, taking the wooden spoon she passed you. “When Alex and I get together we usually get distracted trying new tactics and tricks,” 

You didn’t want to say that you were always banished from the kitchen, at least until the oven was off. 

A thoughtful look crossed her face.

This was the first time you had mentioned Alex by name and not followed it with a remark about something terrible she had done. The first time you hadn’t breezed by her existence in the greater context of the team. 

She wanted to pry, to ask why there was a strange tension between you and your older sister, but she wasn’t sure you would give her a straight answer. 

You were a master at spinning questions around (and running interviewers around in circles) when you wanted to, so the only way she would get the story was if you wanted to tell her. 

And she so desperately wanted you to want to let her into your personal life. 

 “Austin doesn’t like to cook either, but we usually chat while I get everything ready,” She said. 

“Alex and I talk better on the field,” Your head bobbed gently as you began to stir the ingredients in the bowl. “Soccer is our best communication method, and Kelley likes to feed us when we’re done,” 

She opened her mouth to ask more, to try and understand why the only place you really opened up was the field, but your phone buzzed obnoxiously on the counter. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as Emily’s contact photo popped up on your screen. 

“You can answer it,” Taylor hummed, grabbing the spoon and bowl from you and carefully measuring in more ingredients. 

You sighed. “It’s probably not important,” 

“But what if it is?” Taylor shrugged. She didn’t want you ignoring your other friends to hang out with her, even if she was slightly flattered that you always gave her your undivided attention (except when you watched movies). “Answer it,” 

“Sup loser,” Emily’s voice filled Taylor’s kitchen as your best friend’s face filled the screen, a wide smile showing off her dimples. 

You rolled your eyes. She would never let you live down how the thorns had beaten the red stars. Badly. Even if you had gotten a banger of a goal on her yourself. 

“Don’t rub it in,” You muttered, balancing the phone against a vase so you could keep stirring the batter, careful that you were the only person in the shot. “What do you want?” 

“Just figured I’d see if you’d seen the roster for January camp yet,” She hummed, shifting forward as if she was trying to see what you were doing, just as Taylor’s hands plopped a stick of butter into the bowl.  “Are you baking? Should I call the fire department?” 

You glowered at her, beginning to mix the thick batter, your tongue poking out the side of your cheek in concentration. 

You hadn’t had time to read your emails yet, not that you were worried. You just got so… distracted with Taylor. You wanted to be in the moment. You wanted to savor every second you got with the person slowly becoming your best friend. 

“No, yes, no,”  You said, eyes flickering towards Taylor and then back to the phone.“I’m supervised,” 

She raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re supervised? Are you clothed?” 

Red filled your cheeks at the implication, and you did your best to ignore Taylor’s raised eyebrow. 

She had heard about your reputation, but having one of your friends bring it up right in front of her still made you blush. You didn’t want her to think that you had some endgame. That you were playing her. 

You weren’t (even if the fluttering in your chest when you were with her made you want something… more). 

You cleared your throat. “I’m with a friend Sonnett,” 

It came out more biting than you meant for it to. More defensive. 

She rolled her eyes, holding her hands up in surrender. “Whatever you say, just be safe,” 

“Fuck off,” You bit back, your teeth clacking, even as Taylor dumped the chocolate chips into the bowl. 

“I love you too Y/n,” She cackled back, unphased by your sudden moodiness. She had seen it hundreds of times before when things in the pitch didn’t go your way. “See you in a few weeks,” 

“Bye loser,” You muttered, unable to resist returning her jab. 

A devilish smirk broke across her face, and you knew you would regret trying to tease her. “Bye y/n and y/n’s friend,” 

“Bye Sonnett,” Taylor added, as you clicked the end call button, and from Emily’s furrowed eyebrows just before the screen ended, you knew she didn’t know who had said goodbye to her. 

You anxiously rubbed the back of your neck, avoiding running your hand through your hair so you didn’t have to wash them… again. “Sorry about her,” 

“She’s charming,” Taylor hummed, taking the bowl of cookie dough from in front of you. “Is she always like that?” 

“No,”  You muttered, as she carefully scooped out a bit of dough with a spoon and transferred it to a baking sheet. “She can actually be pretty sweet when she wants to be. It’s why Rosie loves her so much,” 

Taylor’s head tilted to the side as she tried to follow your train of thought. Despite how much you talked about the team, you rarely ever mentioned the relationships within it. The team was intensely private in that way, and she respected that. Still, it didn’t mean she wasn’t curious… and you had technically mentioned it first. 

“Are they dating?” 

“No,” You snorted, shaking your head. They were two blind idiots in love, terrified of messing up a friendship. “They mostly just make moon eyes at each other right now. But hopefully winning a gold will give one of them the balls to finally make a move,” 

“Like she thought you had the balls to bake naked,”

She knew there had to be a story there, but getting you to actually tell her would be a bigger challenge. 

More red colored your cheeks, traveling up to your ears.

“It would be more likely for me to be naked, than for me to be baking,” you murmured, rubbing harder at the back of your neck. “That comment was probably more about the supervision. The last time she called I was sneaking out of a girl's apartment,”

Her eyebrow raised nearly to her hairline. “And you answered?” 

It was hard to wrap her head around how commonplace your hookups were. She didn’t like how casual you and everyone around you were about them, especially since you were so young.

“She wanted to check in,” You waved a hand dismissively. “We lost pretty badly,”

She didn’t quite know how those two pieces fit together. “But she asked if you needed the fire department,” 

You cleared your throat and looked away. “I… distracted a girl one time while she was cooking,” 

Taylor swallowed her grimace. She wasn’t allowed to be jealous. Not yet anyway. 

She was your friend. 

She scooped a small bit of batter with her finger and reached out to smear it on the very tip of your nose. “Sounds pretty dangerous,” 

Your eyes crossed as you tried to see the little blob, and Taylor laughed loudly at the expression. 

“You didn’t just do that,” 

Taylor sat back, smirking at you widely. “Oh, but I did. What are you going to do about it?”

You reached across the island, grabbing a small scoop of flour. 

“This,” You said, rubbing the flour into her cheek with a grin. “It’s a little lighter than your normal highlight, but it suits you,” 

She paused for a second before reaching for the flour container, dipping her hand inside. “Oh, it’s on now,” 

She didn’t give you time to duck as she tossed a handful of flour towards you, and you caught a stick of butter still out on the counter as you dove for cover. 

More flour powdered around you in a cloud as you peeked up from your hiding space, throwing a bit of soft butter towards her. It skidded across the counter, mixing with the sugar and flour smeared across the surface. 

It almost made you feel bad, but you would help her clean it up. 

“Missed me, loser,” 

Your nose scrunched at the name, and your eyebrows furrowed. 

You would not be a loser. 

You crawled towards your left, sneaking around the island until you saw her right foot, and a smile broke across your face. 

You dove for her, catching her around the waist, sending the bag of flour flying around you as you both fell, her peels of laughter echoing across the kitchen. 

“I don’t lose,” You chuckled into her neck as flour fell around you like snow. “Flour fights and otherwise,” 

Taylor rolled off of you, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look at you. “You’ve got a little bit of flour there,” 

She gestured towards your nose, and you lifted your shirt to wipe the area she indicated. You felt the way her eyes were immediately glued to your exposed abs, and you took an extra second to wipe your face so she could look. 

Her face was red when you dropped your shirt. 

“Thanks,” You winked, and the red bled from her cheeks down her neck. 

She snorted and shook her head. “That just made it worse,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows and licked your lips for good measure. “That’s ok, I’ve gotten way dirtier anyway,” 

“You’re too much,” She said, still giggling, watching your shoulder as she sat up. “Let’s get the cookies in the oven and we can clean up while they bake,”

You pouted dramatically. “What if I want to stay dirty?” 

She rolled her eyes, already pushing herself to her feet. “You don’t get cookies,” 

You wrinkled your nose. “Bummer,”

“Come on,” She held her hand out to you, and you took it, letting her pull you up. 

She stole a hug before she let you go, directing you towards where the broom was. 

And you couldn’t help the small smile pulled across your features, both at Taylor and the sight of the cats staring safely at you from the kitchen archway.

You would tolerate baking if it was with Taylor. 

*****

March, 2016

If you’ve got a girlfriend, I’m jealous of her. But if you’re single it’s honestly worse.

You were never good at sneaking. You hadn’t even tried in high school because you knew you would be caught, and after you moved out, there was no one to sneak from. 

Your North Carolina roommate didn’t care how late you were out. She barely even spoke to you at all. 

You were pretty sure she hated you, but which of your Courage teammates didn’t? 

Maybe the newfound freedom made you wreckless, or maybe you just didn’t care about changing your behavior when you were visiting your sister in Florida. 

But whatever the case, Alex was waiting for you when you stepped back into her house, her arms crossed and an annoyed look on her face. 

Part of you wondered if she had been standing there all night, or if she heard the door of your UBER shut and came down to greet you. You wondered if they turned the porch light on as soon as they got home, or if you just hadn’t noticed it when the car pulled up. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” 

You slowly turned towards her, kicking off your shoes, neatly placing them in the rack by the door, and pulling your sweatshirt over your head. “Out? Why?”

“It’s almost 2 am,” She grit out, her eyes flashing dangerously, but it did nothing to dissuade you. 

You shrugged, hanging your sweatshirt on the hook right next to her. “I got distracted” 

She scoffed, following you as you tried to brush past her. “You didn’t call or text, I was worried sick about you,”

You rolled your eyes. 

It wasn’t like you texted her often anyway. The two of you barely spoke as it was, nothing besides Hey how was your day messages and one-word responses on your end. 

It was weird to you that she was still trying to look after you. That she was still trying to be the protective older sister, when clearly your relationship had evolved. 

You weren’t the toddler crawling after her wherever she went, or the 4-year-old tripping over every soccer ball she passed you. 

You were a just barely adult trapped in the shadows of everyone’s expectation of you. 

“OK mom, chill out. I was just… busy,” You snarked, wiggling your fingers at her as you headed towards the kitchen. “I had my hands full,” 

She made a face at you. 

There had been a time when she was more like your mom than your mom was. A time when you were closer to her than anyone else. 

Now it felt like she barely knew you. 

“Just your hands? I thought you had more game than that,” Kelley said from the couch. 

“Trust me, I do,” You cackled, fist-bumping Kelley as you passed her, headed for the kitchen. 

“Don’t encourage her,” Alex grumbled, nudging her as they both followed after you. 

You again rolled your eyes, pulling out one of the stools at the island, settling into it, and running your hand through your wild curls. “Chill out Al, I made it here, ok?”

You didn’t like it when your hookups messed with your hair, but it seemed everyone was obsessed with it. 

“Good argument kid,” Kelley chortled, grabbing a plate of rock shaped objects from next to the stove and holding them out to you. “Cookie?” 

Your nose scrunched at the offered items, but you took one anyway, letting your shoulders relax as the tension between you and Alex mellowed. 

She had been acting as referee for the two of you for a very long time, almost as long as they had been dating, and she was an expert at this point. It helped that you would open up to her more than you ever would to Alex. 

You knew your sister and her girlfriend didn’t like your… relaxation method, but as long as your partner was into it and you were into it, you didn’t see a problem. It was better than some of the things you could be doing. 

“You know, eventually you’re going to have to stop this,” Alex muttered, sitting down at the counter beside you.

“Why?” You asked, examining the cookie. 

She laid her phone on the counter and slid it towards you, “Because the team aren’t the only people who have picked up on it now,”

You glanced down at the device. 

It was a Twitter feed of pictures of you and the girl you had just left. You reached out and scrolled, frowning when you saw all of the text tweets below it. 

@randomy/nfan: it’s unfair how ridiculously hot she is. 

@randomy/nfan2: no one needs to wipe their face that many times during a game

@randomy/nfan: Did you see how she stuck her tongue out each time she ran her hand through her hair? It should be criminal. 

@randomy/nfan3: she totally winked at me after she gave me her jersey. Too bad I wasn’t the one she took home after. 

@randomy/nfan5: can confirm she winked after she took her jersey off. She even flexed for the photo. 

@SoccerUpdates: Y/n Morgan spotted with Orlando rookie Sam Witterman after the game. 

“The fans need to mind their own fucking business,” You grumbled, sliding her phone back. “I didn’t flex for her either,”

Alex raised an eyebrow at you. “If it wasn’t for her, who was it for? Because Sam wasn’t even paying attention,”

You looked back at the cookie, using it to hide the sudden heat in your cheeks. “I’m an adult and I can do whoever or whatever I want,” 

You hadn’t been flexing for the fan. You had been flexing in case your favorite singer was watching the game like she said she would be. 

It was frustrating how obsessed the media was with you sometimes. The fans didn’t know the line between who you were on the field and in interviews and who you were off the field. They didn’t understand the concept of privacy.

“You can,” Kelley agreed, ignoring the glare Alex sent her way. “But aren’t you concerned that you give a part of yourself away each time you sleep with someone?” 

Your shoulders lifted and then fell. “It’s not like I receive,” 

“What?” Kelley frowned. 

“Half the time, I don’t even take my pants off. It’s not like they notice,” You mumbled, taking a bite of the cookie and wrinkling your nose at the crumbly texture of oats and coconut. “Why is everything in your house vegan?” 

“I never pegged you as a stone top,” Kelley breathed out, shaking her head. “And my cookies are vegan because your sister is vegan and enjoys being able to eat the things I make,” 

“You just don’t like that she won’t let you kiss her when you’ve had anything that actually tastes good,” You hummed, taking another bite of the too-dry cookie. “It’s just easier,” 

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed, a warning bell sounding in the back of her mind. “Easier?”

You nodded, swallowing the sand-like texture in your mouth. “It’s hard to find clothes in the dark without waking anyone up, and that makes sneaking out more difficult,”

“You don’t even stay long enough to say goodbye?” Alex grimaced. 

“No,” You said dismissively, reaching for another cookie and taking a bite. “Then they’d have a chance to try and get me to stay,”

Alex could only stare at you, wondering where the shy kid who had been terrified to ask your high school crush out went. When had you gone from sweet and reserved to a Fuck boy who didn’t even tell the person they were sleeping with goodbye?

 “Jesus,” She scoffed, running a palm across her face. “You’re only 18, you shouldn’t be participating in hookup culture,”

“Like you weren’t when you were at Berkeley,” Kelley chuckled. “Y/n is just having her frat boy era without a frat. Let the kid live,” 

“Yeah Alex, let me live,” You intoned, copying Kelley. 

Alex glared at the side of your head, much like she did when you were young and being a brat. “Fine then. Was she good?”

You tilted your chin toward her incredulously. “You really want to hear about my hookup?”

“Well you wanted me to let you live,” She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. The stance that always made younger you cower. “So tell me, was she good? Did you enjoy yourself?”

You raised an eyebrow at her, staring for a long second before shrugging and taking another bite of your cookie. “She was fine, like the others,”

“Just fine?”

“Her nails were really long, so she gorged my back,” You said, turning and pulling the collar of your shirt down so she could see the angry red marks at the top of your back. “I was worried I was going to bleed all over my shirt,”

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed. You had to be the good one to get marks like that, and the idea that you were… talented in that area almost made her want to vomit. As did the notion that your… skills probably came from… practice. 

Lots of practice.

“So you ditched us for a just fine hookup?” Kelley asked, and it made the guilt bubble in your stomach. 

That was the only good part about playing Orlando… that you got to spend time with your sister (something that was rare after she left you for Berkeley).

It was the only real hope you saw at mending the bridge that covered the crater that her departure left in your relationship. 

And you sighed, sinking on the stool, your shoulders hunching. “I didn’t think I was going to be out as late as I was. I’m sorry,”

“Ok, but why go for a hookup anyway?” Alex asked, her hand finding your back and rubbing circles. 

You took another bite of your cookie, chewing it slowly and swallowing hard. 

You weren’t sure you wanted to open up. That you wanted to accept her comfort or her touch, but pushing her away felt… cruel. 

“Paul is trading me to Chicago. He said I’m not progressing, and I don’t fit his scheme. I went out because I needed to blow off some steam. I found out right before the game,”

The words felt like lead in your mouth. He hadn’t even had the guts to tell you himself. Instead, you found out from your manager, with his comments on your performance. 

“That sucks,” Kelley reached across the island to take your hand. 

“Paul is a fucking asshole,” Alex grit out, her hand falling from your back. “You’re better off honestly,” 

There was something else in her voice that you couldn’t quite place. 

“Chicago is going to be lethal with you and Chris,” Kelley hummed, squeezing you three times, before turning towards the cabinets and pulling out a plastic bag. “These have eggs and milk. I made them for you. You deserve it.” 

You instantly dropped the cookie in your hand and reached for the bag of peanut butter chocolate chip goodness. “Why didn’t you pull these out sooner?” 

“Because you snuck into our house at 1:30 am,” Kelley shrugged, leaning on the counter. “After ditching us,” 

“I wasn’t trying to ditch you,” You mumbled, pulling a cookie out of the bag and biting into it. Your eyes slid closed as the chocolaty peanut butter played across your tongue. 

They were nearly as good as the ones Taylor had made you the last time you saw her. 

“You were just trying to get laid so you could forget your problems,” Alex finished for you, frowning. You rolled your eyes, grabbing your phone out from your back pocket and snapping a picture of the cookies. 

Alex sighed heavily, reaching over and brushing a curl from in front of your eyes. “I just worry about you,” 

She promised your parents and older sisters she would look after you when you decided to forgo college and join the league(even if the 2 of you weren’t as close as you once were). She didn’t think letting you sleep your way through the teams was healthy, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was a sign of something deeper going on with you. 

You were always so shy growing up. Even after you told them that you were into women, you had never been so… overt with your interactions. You were so sweet with the girl you took to your senior prom, so nervous around any girl you really liked. 

She wasn’t sure when that changed. 

“I’m doing fine,” You said, taking another bite of the cookie. “You’d be the first to know if I wasn’t,” 

“Promise?” She asked you, more softly. 

Every time she looked at you, she would see the tiny 4-year-old running after her, telling her you were fine after you skinned your knee or elbow. Or 7-year-old you swearing you were good to go after you broke your arm surfing a too-big wave. 

“With my pinky,” 

You held your finger up for good effect, and she linked hers with yours. 

“You guys are disgustingly adorable,” Kelley hummed, sliding you a glass of milk. “Now eat up, I want to actually sleep tonight,” 

OoOoOoO

Twitter wasn’t one of Taylor’s favorite social media apps. It was a pit of anxiety-inducing posts and hateful opinions, and she genuinely made an effort to stay away. 

But after watching your soccer game, she couldn’t help herself. 

It had been a humid night in Florida (according to the commentary team). You kept lifting your shirt to wipe the sweat out of your eyes, and your curls had been wild by the end of the second half. 

The grainy stream hadn’t been clear enough for her. It hadn’t done your abs justice so Taylor had relented to the bird app. To pictures taken by people who were actually at the stadium, and things spiraled from there. 

It should have made her feel… shameful that she was scrolling through photos of you, looking for one that showed the moment you lifted your shirt and maybe when you gave your jersey away. She should feel bad that she was looking for the moment you put your abs on full display. 

But she didn't. 

She had been slightly obsessed since you sent her a bathroom mirror picture after the game the US had played against Canada, your shirt pulled up to your chin to show off the perfect impression of a cleat on your skin. And getting to see them in person in her kitchen had only made things worse.

Maybe it was slightly more than slightly…

If you didn’t want her to look, you certainly wouldn’t have sent her the picture, but still. With the parade of women that always seemed to be surrounding you, she wasn’t sure that you had really given it that much thought. 

She sighed, scrolling through the feed, pausing on a picture that had been taken of you after the game. 

She really shouldn’t be this invested in you, not when your reputation was that of a player. 

She didn’t want to be played. Not again. 

But you were different with her. You weren’t the arrogant soccer player posing for photos, or winking at fans. You were sweet and charming and it took almost no effort to make you blush. 

And… she groaned, swiping to the next picture. 

Your arm was slung low across a girl's back as you guided her into a car, a wide smirk pulling at your lips. It left nothing of your plans to the imagination, but maybe that’s why you had done it. 

You wanted to world to think you were a fuck boy. You wanted them to believe that you had an impenetrable shell. 

She rolled her eyes. 

She knew differently. 

That didn’t mean that it didn’t send jealousy through her veins when she saw the pictures, even if she didn’t really have the right to be jealous. 

She sighed again, scrolling past the pictures. 

At least she knew that you were still technically single (though that might have actually been worse). 

Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she grabbed the message from the top of the screen. 

It was a picture of a bag of cookies.

Soccer Hottie: Kelley made me cookies. They weren’t as good as yours

She smiled at the screen, her jealousy melting. Though she was slightly disappointed a picture of your face hadn’t been included. 

I can make you more when you visit me

Soccer Hottie: I’d like that 😘. I’ll have to check my schedule. 

At least she got a part of you that none of your hookups did. She got to see the things you cared about. She got to see your likes and dislikes. 

That was more than any of your hookups would ever get, and that made it easier to be your friend. 

*****

June 2016

I watched from a distance as you Made life your own

“You know I hate this game,” You sighed, resting your chin on your hand and staring at the Scrabble board. 

It was the same expression you made when you stared at the stupid app Taylor made you download so you could play her, except no one was ever there to heckle you while you tried to figure out what your next move should be. 

She also didn’t rush you or set a timer so you couldn’t take all day. 

“It’s better than Monopoly,” Emily shrugged, extending her legs so her feet were resting in Rose’s lap. “Last time we played there was a fistfight,” 

Rose hummed, squeezing Emily’s foot and shifting the tiles on her little ledge. “That’s why we switched to monopoly deal,” 

Board games were a staple during the downtime at camp, and this one was no different. With Rose (and Emily by default since they started dating) as your roommate(s), you had been roped into a quick Scrabble game while you all waited for team bonding. 

She reached out and placed 4 of her pieces, forming the word Focus around your word Cracker.

You frowned. You had been planning to make the word cutter, but now your c was gone and there was no way for you to connect to Emily’s R on the other side (though you weren’t sure exactly what word she had created considering the two center letters kept flipping in your head). 

You liked Monopoly better. It didn’t make your head hurt so much. 

Plus it was one of the few games where you always kicked Alex’s ass. 

“I still think you two have an unfair advantage over me,” you muttered, puffing out your cheek and pulling out your phone. You smiled as you scrolled to a very familiar contact. 

Emily’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing?” 

“Leveling the playing field,” You shot her a wide smirk, as the ringing of the FaceTime app stopped and the little boop that meant your favorite person had answered sounded through the room. “Hey Scrabble queen,”

“Hey, what’s up?” Her lips ticked up in a smile that she only used when she was with you, and you saw an unfamiliar painting and a microphone behind her.

She must be at the studio. 

You knew she was working on an album, though you’d been reluctant to hear any spoilers. You didn’t want to hear about a new… love interest. You didn’t think you could take it, and you needed to focus if the team was going to do well at the Olympics. 

“I need your help,” You pouted at the phone, making your eyes as big and innocent as you could. “Im shitty at scrabble and I don’t want to lose to Rosie and Emily,”

Taylor rolled her eyes at you. 

“Hey! Why do you get to phone a friend!?” Emily exclaimed, reaching for the phone, and the semi-familiar voice on the other end. “Is it the person who was with you last time I called?” 

You shrugged nonchalantly, shifting so she couldn’t steal your phone without looking at your tiles (thereby disqualifying her). “Because I’m dyslexic,” 

“You’re getting better actually. You got a triple word last week,” Taylor said, and your eyes darted back toward her. You hadn’t told her it was really Kelley who saw the triple word yet. “Can you show me the board and your letters please?” 

“You didn’t answer my question, is this mystery girl?” Emily cut back in, even as Rose held her foot so she didn’t try to tackle you to see who you had called. 

“She’s not a mystery,” You scrunched your nose and flipped the camera, giving Taylor a good view of the board. “She’s my friend,” 

Rose raised her eyebrow at you. “Then what’s her name, you know so we can call her something else?” 

“Taylor,” You answered with an easy shrug, not really thinking about it. 

You doubted they’d make the connection anyway. 

Not unless Taylor said something incriminating, and you doubted she would considering how careful she was. 

“Ok, I think I’ve got it. I’ll text you the next couple of moves,” Taylor said, looking sideways over the phone and nodding. “I’ll talk to you later, I’ve gotta go,” 

“Thank you!” You flipped the camera around and sent her a goofy smile.

“Anytime,” She mirrored your smile and blew you a little kiss. “Talk to you later babe,” 

You caught the kiss and waved, staring at the phone for a very long second even after it had gone back to your Lock Screen. 

It made your chest feel warm that even when she was busy, she answered your calls. That she always made time for you. 

“If she’s your friend, then you have one hell of a crush,” Emily said, drawing you back to the moment. 

You blinked back up at the pair, the warm feeling in your chest replaced with sudden anxiety. “What?” 

“She called you babe,” Rose supplied, her voice very soft like she was afraid to startle you. 

They all knew of your… reluctance to settle down, and she couldn’t help but feel like there was a deeper reason behind it that they were all overlooking. 

Emily snorted, not catching the hesitance in Rose's voice. “And you stared at the phone after you hung up for a solid 30 seconds,” 

Red immediately flooded your cheeks, and your hand clenched at your side. “We’re just friends,” 

Even if you enjoyed the flirting and your feelings were slowly surpassing the boundaries of friendship. She would never want someone like you. 

You were just a kid compared to her, bumbling your way through your career and fucking it up at every turn. 

Plus she was straight. 

It was too cliche for you to handle. 

“Ok,” Rose conceded, shooting Emily a very serious look to not push you more. 

It never turned out well when they pushed. 

“It’s still your turn,” Emily said, her voice also going soft, gesturing towards the scrabble board. “Let’s see how good the mystery Taylor really is,”

You hummed, pulling up the text, and ignoring the little Good luck 😜 that accompanied her instructions. 

Your tongue made its way between your teeth as you read the step-by-step text, each letter separated by a double space, and you slowly reached for the letter tiles and slid them into place, forming the word Resonate with the help of two of Emily’s words and one of Roses. 

“Ha, a quadrupole word,” You cheered, typing out a thank you text to Taylor as Emily groaned. 

Rose rolled her eyes, still smiling softly at you.“And let me guess, it’s the easiest one she sent you?” 

She hadn’t seen you this… engaged in a long time. She hadn’t seen you so… happy, not since you started playing at North Carolina, and she hadn’t seen you show more interest than a quick one-night stand. 

“Yep,” You popped the p and smiled wickedly at them. “read it and weep losers,”

“You’re only winning because of the mystery scrabble queen,” Emily pouted. “What, does she have an entire empire made of word blocks too?”

“She’s not a fucking mob boss. She’s just a friend, and I told you, it’s fair because it levels the playing field,” You shrugged, failing to mention that the butterflies Taylor sent swirling in your chest were much more than friendly. 

It wasn’t like they hadn’t beaten you each time you played this game before. “Now make your move before I sic the time turtle on you and you have to draw a wicked wango card,” 

Rose raised her eyebrow at you. “Since when did you watch Friends? 

“Yeah! I thought you hated anything remotely scripted besides superhero movies and Indiana Jones?” Emily added, crossing her arms indignantly. “It’s how you get out of literally every movie bonding night,” 

Your shoulders lifted and fell, and red bled into your cheeks. 

You hadn’t really minded the comedy eating kettle corn with Taylor in a massive pillow fort, though Meredith and Olivia pawing at your bowl while Taylor pouted at their adamant ignoral of her had made it all worth it (they had been very unhappy about the quick baths she made them take because they were covered in flour from your little food fight). 

Plus you thought that Bamboozled was probably the only game show that wouldn’t put you to sleep (you agreed with Joey that it wasn’t that complicated). 

“Friends doesn’t really have a plot,” You muttered, looking down at your phone and moving your tiles around so you didn’t have to think about your next move. “And it’s funny so it’s not so bad,” 

Rose made a low noise, poking Emily with her toes, telling her not to push.

She had a feeling that your sudden interest in the show had more to do with who you were watching it with than the comedy. And she wouldn’t be the one to meddle in what was your first real relationship. 

She wouldn’t let Emily either. 

The wrath that would meet them from all the vets and your older sister was not something she wanted to deal with. 

“Come on Sonny, make your move,”

******

July 2016

But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away

2016 was the summer of the apocalypse. 

There was no other way to put it. 

You never thought a singular PK could turn your team and the rest of the world against you. But it did. 

You only got to play the last 10 minutes of the game, and your only job was to make the penalty. 

But you missed it. Badly. 

Jill made it clear before you were even back in the locker room that you would need to earn your way back. Roary had benched you as soon as you returned to Chicago. But the worst was the media, and the slew of hate that had been unleashed on you the second your foot left the ball. 

It rivaled the hate Hope was getting, and that was saying something. 

You blew out a long breath, took another swig of your lukewarm beer and slowly kicked the ball back toward the PK spot. 

One of the few benefits to Chicago was that the high school soccer field was within walking distance from your shitty apartment. The other was that the high school soccer field stayed open all night and had good lighting. 

You took another swig before gently setting the bottle next to four of its already empty friends, and setting up for the kick. It should have concerned you that the ball was slightly blurry, or that you were a bit wobbly on your feet, but it didn’t.  

Not when you so clearly saw your path to regaining your future. 

You rolled your neck, squaring your shoulders and looking from the ball to the net. You could imagine the thousands of people screaming, and the keeper jockeying in her line, waiting for you. 

You took another breath, leaning forward. You shuffled your feet, starting the countdown in your head. 

5

4

3

2

But just before you got to 1, your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling your focus from the upper right corner of the net just as you fell into step for the pk. The ball connected with your foot at the wrong angle, and was sent flying into the stands instead of towards goal. 

“Fuck,” You muttered, running a hand through your hair and pulling the offending device from your back pocket. 

Blondie👱🏻‍♀️🎤: Hey, you ok? They said you weren’t on the bench, but didn’t give a reason.

You couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at your lips when you saw Taylor’s contact on your Home Screen, even if you had to squint to make out her message. 

She was one of the only people who was still talking to you after the Olympics. One of your only friends who hadn’t ditched you. 

She liked you for you, and what you did on the pitch didn’t change that. Maybe that was why you were so drawn to her. Why the hangouts had gotten more frequent? 

Maybe you just liked hanging out with her.

You took three steps back towards your drinks, plopping down and grabbing your beer. 

I’m good. Cosch bwndnwd me bdcajwe hd thihls I zuck.

You swallowed the last of the sudsy liquid as you hit send, lining it up with the others and reaching for a new one as 3 little dots appeared. 

Blondie 👱🏻‍♀️🎤: ???

You sighed, cracking the bottle open with your cleat and typing out your response. Your fingers slipped across the screen, and it took you a second to find the send button. 

Hd said I’k not aolowed badk pn the vrncn until I deserve to bd a profrsakonal spcver player abIN/

The message instantly went to read, but the three little dots didn’t appear again. 

You shrugged, taking a long sip of your beer (nearly downing the entire thing) before you placed the bottle next to its partners and began to kick a new ball toward the penalty spot, your phone dangling dangerously between your fingers. 

You let out a long breath, lining up for the shot, your eyes lifting from the fuzzy ball to the equally fuzzy net. 

But your phone buzzed in your hand before you could step into the kick. You lazily held it up to your face, clicking the accept button when you saw the FaceTime logo. 

“Whad upp T-Swizzle,” You smiled dopily at Taylor’s face as she appeared on the screen, the stadium lights glinting off of your glassy eyes. 

“Hey, are you ok? Your texts were kinda crazy,” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing with worry at your slurred speech. 

“‘M great!” You cheered, spinning in place as if to show how great you were. 

Her frown deepened. “You sound drunk?”

You rapidly shook your head. “‘M nottt,” Your voice caught on the last t, and you quietly stared at her for a long second before your dopey smile was back.  “‘M practicin’ PKs. Wanna see?” 

“No, Y/n,” She said, trying to sound stern. But it was too late, you had already flipped the camera around to face the goal. 

“Those arrr the ones I made,” You slurred, the camera shaking violently as you tried to focus on each of the balls that had made it to the back of the net. 

The camera then suddenly jerked, panning towards the bleachers. “And those arr the ones I missed. I missed a lot. I suckkkk,” 

Several balls were haphazardly strewn across a set of rusting bleachers and lying by a dilapidated fence. But what really caught Taylor’s attention was a silver and gold cardboard box and a pile of empty bottles sitting at the gate.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew that things had been difficult for you, but she never expected you to get drunk and go to a random field at night. Or to make your way through a case of beer like she was sure you had. “Y/n turn the camera around,”

It took you a second to flip the camera back around, but your now somber face met her when you finally got it. 

She tried not to think about how adorable your pout was (an expression you rarely ever used when you were sober). 

“How many beers have you had?” She asked you seriously. 

“Few?” you shrugged, squinting towards where the box was and biting your lip. “Almost gone,”

“I can see that,” She breathed out, trying to stay calm. “How big of a pack did you buy?” 

Your grin returned, and you threw your arms out wide, spinning in a circle. “The biggggest,”

“Y/n,” Taylor sighed again, waiting for you to get back in frame. “Where are you? I’m gonna send a car to pick you up,”

“No. I gotta clean up annd practice so I can play,” You said, looking away from the camera, biting your lip. “I gotta nooot suckkk,” 

“You don’t suck,” Taylor said, already pulling up her contacts. “Tell me where you are, and I will help you clean up before the car arrives,” 

The line went quiet for a long second, and she looked up to see your eyebrows furrowed. She wasn’t sure if you were just trying to think, or if you were trying not to cry (it was hard to tell with how red and glassy your eyes were). 

“Y/n?”

“I don’ suck?” Your bottom lip wobbled. 

She shook her head. 

“No. You missed a shot. It happens to everyone,” She repeated your own words back to you, ones she had heard you speak hundreds of times. Ones she meant with all of her heart. “Now tell me where you are. I’m worried about you,” 

You buzzed your lips. “The high school field by my apartment,” 

“Ok,” She said, feeling the knot in her chest loosen as she scrolled through her contacts and sent a frantic text to her security. Jason would send someone to get you. Someone who would keep you safe. “I have someone coming to get you,” 

“I gotta clean up,” You poked your bottom lip out, stumbling over to the ball bag and struggling to get it open one-handed. 

“I’ll stay on the line with you while you do,” Taylor said, keeping her voice soothing, and calm, even as she sent more frantic texts to her security and assistant moving her schedule around for the next few days. “And Tony will help once he gets there,” 

You paused, from where you were sloppily gathering up balls and looked at the camera with wide eyes. “Iron man?” 

Taylor resisted the urge to roll her eyes or coo at the adorable expression (though she did store it away in her memory bank for later recollection). “No, not the same Tony,” 

You frowned, stumbling towards the stands and using a foot using push the balls to the bottom so you could gather them. 

You tripped as you stepped up onto the silver seating, intent on getting the stray ball you had sailed to the top of the stands. “Nashatasha wass cuter anyway,” 

“Yeah,” Taylor said slowly,her eyes scrunching as you nearly tumbled down the open side of the bleachers. “Why don’t you sit down? Tony is almost there to help you anyway. He can get the rest of the balls,”

All she needed was for you to fall out of the stands and hurt yourself. 

Your tongue poked between your teeth like you were thinking before the phone shook violently as you plopped down onto the bleachers and rested your chin on your hand. “Kay,”

She blew out a breath as you blinked lazily at her. “Don’t worry, Tony will be there soon,” 

She said the words for herself as much as she said them for you. She didn’t like the idea of you being drunk and alone on a random high school field in the middle of the night. 

She needed you to be safe, and ok. It was a protective instinct that curled around her chest in a way that it had only for one other person. 

Tony would be there soon, and they would get you back to your apartment and she would be able to breathe again. 

OoOoOoOo

“Alright, I think I’ve got her all settled,” A salt and pepper-haired man said, as he tucked your Arsenal blanket under your chin as you snorted softly on the couch. His mirror-finish aviators hung from his v-neck shirt, something more casual than anything Taylor had ever seen him wear before. 

It was a testament to how quickly he had abandoned his vacation to help her (and you by extension), and for that, she would be forever grateful. 

“Thank you, Tony,” She said softly, keeping her voice down so she didn’t wake you. “Really,” 

“It’s no problem ma’am,” He waved her off, his southern drawl calming whatever worry was still left in her chest. “I was happy to help when Jason contacted me, and Ms. Morgan is a very cooperative drunk,” 

You had been incredibly well-behaved when Tony arrived, allowing him to guide you into the back of the SUV and then giving him your apartment address and your keys with no arguments. You didn’t even complain when he basically carried you up the stairs because you were too wobbly to walk. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was on the phone with you, or if you were just too tired to fight.

“Hopefully we don’t have more of these encounters to compare it against,” Taylor said, glancing at the text from her personal assistant. “Casey texted me, my plane is ready, so I should be there fairly soon,” 

Tony made a low noise of agreement, placing a glass of water and an Advil on the coffee table next to your sleeping form, and taking a few steps back to sit on one of the stools, shifting so he could check that the three distinct dog bowls below him also had water. 

The three huskies had refused to leave your side as soon as he got you laid down on the couch. 

“I’ll stay outside her door until you arrive in case there are any issues,” Tony said, looking around your tiny apartment yet again to make sure that there wasn’t anything else he could do so that you would be comfortable when you woke up. “Would you like to stay on the line?” 

Taylor nodded. “That would be great,” 

Even though he was there, she wanted to stay too. She needed to be present in case you woke up. She didn’t want you to feel alone, especially when it seemed your team had abandoned you. 

Tony stood, plugging in your phone and setting it up on the coffee table so that Taylor had a clear view of your sleeping face. 

“I’ll be just outside the door, and my phone is on in case you need me,” He said, squatting so he could look into the camera, and send her a small smile. “I’ll see you when you get here,” 

She sent him a wave as he disappeared, leaving the two of you alone (save for the gray huskie who had wiggled under your arm and the black one who was curled up behind your head). 

She let out a long breath, watching the slow rise and fall of the edge of your Arsenal blanket. 

You looked so young in your sleep.

You were young, she had to remind herself. You were barely 19, even if you wanted to act like you were so much older. Even if you had more responsibilities and people scrutinizing you than most other people your age. 

You shifted, pulling the blanket closer to your face, one eye sleepily blinking open. 

“Tay?” 

She hummed, keeping her voice soft. “Yeah, I’m still here,” 

You shifted, wrapping your arm tighter around the gray husky in your arms. 

“Don’t ever leave,” You murmured the words into the dog's fur so softly that Taylor almost didn’t hear them. “I like you too much. Even if I don’t deserve you,” 

“I like you too,” She smiled gently at the words that sent butterflies swirling in her chest. “Go back to sleep,”

She had liked you too for a very long time, even if she was still hesitant to admit it. 

“Noooo,” You pouted, forcing your eyes further open to look at her. They were breathtakingly blue, just like your older sisters. “I like you like Alex likes Kelley, but I’m not supposed to. You’re too good,” 

Her eyebrows furrowed. 

Why weren’t you supposed to like her? What did you mean that she was too good? 

“And you’re straight,” You added, shifting so your nose was hiding behind the dog in your arms. 

“You can like me Y/n,” She murmured, wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush your messy curls from in front of your sleepy eyes. “I like you too,”

It wouldn’t be worth it to argue with your assumption of her sexuality now anyway. You were too drunk to remember in the morning. 

Your eyes blinked open wider in an adorable doe-eyed expression. “Really?”

“Yes,” She nodded, her lips ticking up impossibly more at your adorableness. “Now sleep. I’ll see you soon,” 

You made a low noise, your eyes sliding closed as you snuggled your nose into the dog under your arm. 

She waited for your breathing to even out, (and several minutes after that) before she clicked off the call to catch her flight. She could watch your sleep for the rest of your lives, and still not get enough. 

She wondered if you were dreaming of her, or of soccer balls and shots that you didn’t miss. Or maybe you were dreaming of a world where one kick didn’t have your teammates and friends turning their backs on you. 

Maybe one day she would ask you. 

OoOoOoO

The first thing you noticed as you came into consciousness was that your mouth felt like it was full of cotton and your head felt like Ashlyn had used it as a ball during punting practice, or like Megan had used it to practice her perfect PKs.

You groaned, shifting on the couch, accidentally displacing the three dogs that had cuddled in around you at some point. 

You had no idea why you were sleeping on the couch, instead of in the king-sized bed you had purchased so the 4 of you had room. 

Come to think of it, you didn’t actually remember how you got here. 

The last thing you remembered was cracking open your 4th beer and gathering your balls so you could shoot more penalties. You didn’t exactly like how the sudsy liquid tasted, but it did an excellent job at dulling the ache in your chest that had settled as soon as you took that fucking PK. 

The ache that went ignored by your sister and your teammates who were too wrapped up in their own grief to even check on you. 

You groaned, running a hand through your hair. At least you remembered to close the blinds, and put out Advil and water for yourself? 

You pushed yourself up, closing your eyes when your apartment spun around you, and pressing your fingers to the bridge of your nose. 

Three cold noses nudged your skin, and you slowly worked your eyes open and reached for the tall glass. 

“I’m ok guys,” You mumbled towards the three dogs sending you worried looks and took a large sip of the still-cool water. “It’s like when I give you guys too many treats,” 

The gray huskie on your left wined, butting her head into your arm. You reached over with your free hand to scratch behind her ear. “I’m ok Art, nothing a good cup of coffee can’t fix,” 

The red dog to your left also nudged you and you rolled your eyes, setting the glass down so you could scratch his head too, and you eyed the black dog still contently cuddled into your left leg. 

He was always the most chill of the floof pack, happy to just be in your presence. 

You would be happy to stay here all day. To let them love away the empty feeling that lingered after you like a bad cough. 

You blinked as a knock sounded at your door, the levity in your chest deflating like a popped balloon. 

It was probably one of your teammates coming to scold you for not sitting in the stands at last night's game. For ditching it instead of taking your punishment.  

The knock sounded again, and you blew out a long breath as you forced yourself to your feet. “I’m coming,” 

Artemis and Apollo trailed after you, stopping by the counter like they had been trained, and Orion stayed on the couch, watching over the living room like a centennial. 

You rolled your eyes at him, running a hand through your hair again, trying to at least pretend you were presentable, as you grabbed the door handle (barely even bothered that the deadbolt wasn’t latched)

You froze when you saw a head of blond hair and the bluest eyes you had ever seen instead of one of your teammates. 

“Taylor? What are you doing here?” You frowned, opening the door wider with one hand and rubbing your tired eyes with the other, hoping it would quell the dizziness that actually standing brought on. “Don’t you have a recording thing today?”

“I have a recording thing every day,” She said, stepping closer to the door. “You scared the shit out of me and I needed to come to check on you myself,” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. 

How had you scared her? Did you call her? 

“Sorry. I don’t really remember the details of last night,” You opened the door wider, your hand lingering in your curls. “Do you wanna come in?”

Taylor nodded, stepping closer to you. “I’d like that,” 

Took a step back, looking behind you towards the dogs. 

“The gray one is Artemis and the red one is Apollo. Orion is black and probably hiding out here somewhere, he’s not a big fan of meeting new people,” You gestured towards the husky’s two waiting for their release command. “Do you want to say hello? They won’t jump, but I know you’re more of a cat person,” 

She looked over your shoulder, nodding. “Yeah,” 

You turned towards the dogs, waving across your waist. “Vale, saluda,” 

Art sniffed at you as she pushed herself up and slowly waltzed past you, Apollo close on her tail as they made their way over to Taylor. 

She tensed like she expected them to tackle her, but they didn’t. Apollo politely sniffed at the hand she had extended as Art circled her twice before nudging gently against her leg, asking to be pet. 

“They’re so well-behaved,” Taylor said softly, her fingers winding their way into the soft fur of Art’s neck. 

“Thanks,” You said, watching carefully as Apollo pressed his into Taylor’s other leg, indicating he wanted to be pet too. “They’re pretty mellow for huskies, as long as they've had their exercise,”

Art paused as Taylor’s other hand began to scratch Apollo's back, and you sighed, pointing away from the two of you. “De,”

Yes, they were well-behaved, but their relationship was also similar to the one you shared with your sister. Apollo liked to rile his older sister up, just like you loved to get a rise out of Alex. 

You didn’t think that Taylor would appreciate a play fight breaking out. 

Art sniffed at you, but did as you asked, her nails tapping as she trotted off towards the living room with Apollo at her heels. 

Maybe they would go find Orion and show him the visitor wasn’t so scary. 

“Want a drink?” You asked, awkwardly scratching the back of your neck with one hand and gesturing to the small bar in your kitchen with the other. “I think I have coffee somewhere,”

It was mundane in comparison to Taylor’s full marble kitchen. Small and disheveled on all accounts. 

The linoleum blue counter had a crack running down the center and you knew that both wooden stools wobbled dangerously when they weren’t in the right spot. But Taylor didn’t complain as she followed you. 

“Coffee would be great,” She hummed, and the stools squeaked as she settled onto one and placed her bag on the other. “I think you could use some too after the night you had,”

You shrugged, turning your back on her, pulling the coffee out of the freezer, and settling up the coffee maker. “What happened last night?”

You didn’t turn to look at her, busying yourself in grabbing 2 coffee mugs and a glass and getting the milk and a carton of orange juice from the fridge. You would have offered her a glass too, but considering how often you drank directly from the carton, you didn’t think it was a good idea. 

“Well,” She drew out the word, and you felt her eyes on you as you moved through the kitchen. “I texted you because you weren’t on the bench, and you responded mostly with self-deprecating gibberish, so I called you,” 

You made a low noise in the back of your throat, grabbing your sugar jar and sliding it towards her, but not meeting her eyes. “I was probably a couple beers deep at that point,”

“Just a couple?” You could almost hear her raised eyebrows, and you finally turned to look at her, placing the coffee pot between you. 

You shrugged, smiling impishly as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. “A few more than a couple,”

“Try a 24-pack,” Taylor scoffed, pouring herself her own cup of coffee. “You’re lucky you didn’t get alcohol poisoning,”

You set your coffee on the counter, sucking all the warmth you could from your mug, your blasé mask cracking. 

“I didn’t drink it all last night,” You said, finally meeting her eyes. “I only had like 13 left,”

She sighed, reaching out and catching your hand. “Still,” 

You paused, blowing out a very long breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you fly all the way out here and waste a day,”

Her eyebrows furrowed at the end of your sentence. The rapid turn in conversation. 

“I’m not wasting anything,” She said slowly. “You obviously needed someone and I’m happy I could be here for you,”

You grimaced. You didn’t deserve to have someone there for you. 

You were the one who fucked up the team. The one who ruined everything. 

“Hey,” Taylor squeezed your hand again, drawing your eyes back to her, like she could read your thoughts. “No time I spend with you is a waste,”

Red flooded your cheeks, up to your ears, and you tried to hide it with a sip of your too-hot coffee. 

She smiled gently at you, looking at the microwave clock behind you. “But we can talk about that later. You have to get ready for practice,” 

“I’m not going,” You scoffed, taking another sip. “There’s no point,” 

“Y/n, avoiding practice isn’t going to fix what’s happening,” She said, her voice patient.  “It’ll only make it worse,” 

A dark look crossed your features. 

“It can’t get worse,” You said, your voice too calm. Too dangerous. “I’ve already been told I won’t be fielding for the rest of the season, and Mallory Pugh has been called into camp to replace me. My soccer career is over at the ripe old age of 19,” 

Despite your efforts to hide it, she could still hear the misery in your voice. The utter defeat. 

Her head tilted to the side, and she took a strategic sip of her coffee. “I thought you didn’t lose?” 

You shook your head. “This is different,” 

You couldn’t fight the system. Not when it was so dead set on driving you out. 

If only you could be like your perfect older sister. 

“Is it though?” She asked, too nonchalantly. “Prove them wrong. Show up and shove it in their faces,” 

You sighed. You knew exactly what she was doing. You always responded better to challenges than to comfort. 

Plus if you left, you weren’t sure Taylor would be here when you returned, and you preferred spending time with her over a useless practice anyway. 

“And I’ll be waiting here for you after practice,” She added as if sensing one of the reasons for your hesitation. “We can grab some dinner and hang out. But first, you need to go kick some ass. It’ll make you feel better anyway,”

You took another long sip of your coffee, before nodding begrudging. 

She was right. Skipping practice would only make things worse, even if going would suck anyway. 

OoOoOoO

“Rough night?” Christen smirked at you, bumping your shoulder as you jogged onto the practice field, fixing your practice jersey. 

You shrugged, sending the striker a half smile. “Something like that,”

She caught the collar of your practice jersey, peeking at the skin underneath it. “I don’t see any hickeys so it couldn’t have been too bad,” 

You batted her hand away, unable to stop the smile that accompanied your rolled eyes. “I don’t have any. I didn’t hook up last night,”

She raised her eyebrow at you. 

It was rare you skipped a team thing unless it was for a girl, even when you weren’t on the bench. She knew that you had been bedhopping more to cope with the loss at the Olympics and the tenuous situation with both the national team and Chicago that you found yourself in. 

She supposed it was a way for you to distract yourself, even if she didn’t think it was what was best for you. 

“Roary was pissed you weren’t at the game,” She said instead of pushing. You were an adult, and what you did off the field was really none of her business. 

“I know,” You mumbled, stepping into line behind Huerta, scratching the back of your neck, a strange look crossing your face. “I already had a meeting with him. It’s why I missed activation,” 

Christen frowned. “He wasn’t too hard on you, was he?” 

He had a reputation for being… abrasive, and Christen was aware of how many times he had been so with you. 

You shrugged again. It wasn’t like Christen could do something about how awful he was. Plus you knew Christen would report anything you said right back to Alex. 

“No more than usual,” You said, sounding uninterested.  “We actually talked about how I’ve improved since coming back from Rio,” 

While he had assigned you 8 laps after practice, overall the meeting hadn’t gone as badly as you feared. Considering how awful the Red Stars were performing with you not even allowed on the bench, you shouldn’t have been so surprised that he was sticking you back in the starting 11 for the midweek game. 

So despite his critique of your personality and playing style, he had conceded that Chicago scored more when you were on the field to service Christen. You would take it as a win. 

Christen’s eyebrows furrowed, not quite believing you. “That’s good I guess,” 

You made a low noise, watching Sofia run the drill so you knew what was happening. 

It was a simple give-and-go with the midfielders, and a shot on goal. 

It would be easy. 

And frankly, it was easy. 

Your fingers wiggled as you watched Sofia launch the ball just over the crossbar, waiting for the goalkeepers to swap so the striking coach would send you the ball. 

You let yourself sink into the drill, and just as he passed you the ball, it was like your brain turned off. You easily tapped it to Colaprico, skirting around Krueger and turning just in time to receive the through ball the midfielder sent back. 

It only took a little flick of your heel to get past Naeher, and send the ball into the back of the net, and head to the back of the other line with little fanfare. 

“Nice shot,” JJ reached out her hand for a low five as you passed her, and you tilted your chin at her as you passed, a smile playing on your lips. 

Taylor had been right, playing did make you feel better. 

And you didn’t have to think about the butterflies her presence sent flying in your stomach. 

“Maybe you have the Morgan gene after all,” Roary said gruffly, stepping onto the practice pitch, his hand landing heavily on your shoulder.

Your back went straight and the hint of a smile slid off your face. 

“I might be able to make an acceptable attacking midfielder of you yet,” He continued, oblivious to how rigid your posture was. 

Christen cleared her throat, casually stepping between the two of you and forcing him to let go. “That was a really good goal. I bet you and Al could make that work for the national team too,”

“Hm,” You made a low noise of agreement, looking away from her. 

You didn’t want to say that with your reputation, you doubted you would ever get a call up again. You were pretty sure Jill already blacklisted you anyway.

“We’ll have to see about that,” Roary chuckled, and his hand found your shoulder again, squeezing tightly. “A few extra film sessions could help,” 

A shiver ran down your spine. You hated film sessions, especially with Roary, but you nodded anyway. 

It wasn’t like you had a choice. Roary always got what he wanted.

He squeezed your shoulder one more time before heading off to harass someone else, but you knew he would be back. You were one of his favorite targets. 

“You know you don’t have to do sessions with him,” Christen said when he was out of earshot, and you looked away. 

She could never understand that you couldn’t say no to him. That your precariousness with both the Red Stars and the USWNT meant that you couldn’t piss off a coach. It meant that you were at his mercy, even if you didn’t want to admit it. 

“He’s an asshole, but he has some good insights,” You said, watching as JJ ran the opposite side of the drill with Huerta. 

Christen used a finger under your chin to force you to look back at her. “That’s not what I asked you,” 

“I know Chris,” You said with too much force, jerking away from her. “I can handle Dames. Right now, I need all the help I can get to show Jill that I deserve my fucking spot. If he wants to help, then so be it,” 

She paused, her hand still hovering in the air where your chin had been. 

“Ok,” She said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing while she tried to decipher your overreaction. “I just wanted to make sure,” 

You swallowed hard, moving up in line. “I know. Sorry, I snapped. I was up late,”

Her lips tilted into a teasing smirk. “Ah yes, you got fucked to get over how Roary fucked you out of your starting spot,”

You threw your head back and groaned, red coloring your cheeks as the line around you erupted in giggles. 

You would never outlive your… reputation, but that was ok because at least it stopped Christen from asking too many questions. Questions that would make their way back to your sister.

They would never believe that the girl who had distracted you wasn’t one you were currently sleeping with anyway. 

“Morgan, you’re up,” The striking coach said, his voice sobering your teammates. “Let’s see if you can do the other half of the drill as well as you did the first,” 

You easily stopped the ball he passed your way, winking towards McCaffrey. “I’ll do better. There’s a reason I’m a midfielder after all,” 

You would have to thank Taylor for making you practice. She was right, it did make you feel better, and you were on your way to proving why you were one of the best in the world.

OoOoOoO

“I can’t believe you’ve never had a burrito before,” You said, biting into your chicken and queso concoction. 

It had been an easy decision to grab Chipotle after practice, one you hadn’t really thought about until the text came through that Taylor didn’t know what to order. 

That she had never been to one of your favorite post-practice restaurants. 

“I’ve just never gotten around to it. They’re not common in Nashville,” She hummed, delicately biting into her own streak and bean creation. “How was practice,” 

You scrunched your nose but decided that pointing out that Chipotle was a national chain (and that you and Emily had eaten at one when you played Australia in Nashville) wasn’t worth it. You felt like there was something… off about her relationship with food, but you didn’t know if you were close enough to be able to bring it up. 

You honestly didn’t know if you were just friends, because the way she looked at you felt like you were edging on something more. 

“Fine,” Your shoulder lifted and fell as you took another bite and swallowed. You grabbed a chip from your bag, shoving it in the top of your burrito. “Apparently I’m starting tomorrow,”

Taylor frowned. “That feels like quite the jump from being left off the roster,” 

She wasn’t entirely sure how the whole selection process worked for roster and starting lineups (despite her recent research into the topic), but it felt very weird for you to go from essentially not on the team to one of the people who would carry it through the game. 

You made a low sound of agreement, swallowing. “I have a feeling it was ownership’s call,” 

Taylor raised an eyebrow at you, clearly asking for a more comprehensive explanation. 

“We lost like 6-0,” You explained. “And our media guy said that the attendance dropped by 40% because I wasn’t on the bench,” 

It was one of the few concessions that Roary made. The team hadn’t been able to break through North Carolina’s midfield without your creativity or ability to draw defenders. They hadn’t been able to supply the forwards or stop the line-breaking balls Zerboni kept sending through, and ultimately it led to a complete creaming of your team. 

They needed you on the field, no matter how loath he was to admit it. That’s why you assumed Armin had overridden the coach's judgment. 

The team brought in less money when they lost. 

Taylor nodded in understanding and the two of you lapsed into silence, slowly munching on your respective burritos. 

“I can’t believe you have a game 2 days apart,” She said after a few minutes. “Doesn’t seem to leave you a lot of time to recover,”

You tilted your head. “The league wants to squeeze in as many matches as they can before the international break,”

“That seems reasonable,” Taylor said, seemingly agreeing with you. 

It didn’t, but the league (and the owners) weren’t really concerned with your health. You were basically a trading card designed to bring them more money. 

You played with the foil around your burrito, biting your lip. “I um… I have an extra pass if you want to come watch,” 

She paused, her grin dipping into a frown. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Going out somewhere isn’t always easy,”

Not that she was sure anyone even knew she was in Chicago. So far, there hadn’t been any talk on social media of her impromptu trip, and she had no intention of that changing. 

She didn’t need the space in front of your apartment becoming a circus. Not with the horrible things the press had been saying about her. 

“The seat is in a box, so no one would see you if you decided you wanted to go, and you can use the player’s entrance,” You explained, trying to seem like you didn’t care what her answer would be. Trying to pretend like you wouldn’t care if she decided not to one. “No cameras are allowed in the tunnels,”

Her lips pressed very tightly together, seemingly seeing through your facade. “I just don’t want to take away from your game,” 

“You can’t distract from the match,” You shrugged. “There will already be crazy speculation because I’m on the roster, and the Camp call-ups haven’t been made public yet,” 

She hummed. She knew that the media that you dealt with was different, but still vicious nonetheless. 

Instead of picking apart your outfit choice or your performances on stage, they tore apart your play. They ripped your soccer skills apart and compared you to your sister at every turn. 

“I think it’s horrible that they’re focusing so much on one play,” 

It was still difficult for her to wrap her head around how a singular moment had seemingly derailed your entire career, but then again a single misconstrued phone call had derailed hers. 

You shrugged. It was nothing when compared to what Taylor was dealing with. “At least they’re attacking me for something I actually did. I ended my soccer career with a single kick. You’re being punished for a man’s lies,”

Taylor nodded slowly, taking another bite of her burrito. 

She didn’t think either circumstance was fair, but that was the position that you were both in. You were trapped by your coaches and she was trapped by perception. 

The only thing either of you could do was control the things you could, and enjoy the ride. Everything would even out eventually. 

“I’ll come to your game,” She said, not just because she knew it would make you happy, but also because she wasn’t ready to leave yet, and going to the game would mean spending more time with you. 

Plus, there was no way she would miss seeing you so in your element in person. Not when it was so ridiculously attractive on screen. 

Your whole face lit up. “Really?”

She couldn’t help but smile too. “Yeah, it should be fun,” 

Even if the paparazzi got wind of it, seeing you look so happy for the first time since you returned from Brazil would make it worth it. 

“It’ll be great. I’ll even make sure to score for you,” You said, wiggling excitedly as you cleaned up your burrito wrapper and held the bag up for her as Art and Apollo both sniffed at it (she was shocked they hadn’t even begged for scraps earlier). 

“If you do, you’ve gotta do the backflip celebration,” She chucked, tossing the aluminum wrapped from her burrito into the bag. “That one’s my favorite,” 

You paused, your grin morphing into a mischievous smirk at the mention of your very famous goal celebration. 

“For sure,” You said with your signature wink, and Taylor couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “I’ll do a double if I get a hat trick, just for you,” 

It took a second for her peels of laughter to dissolve into shorter giggles and for her to catch her breath. It was so strange to have the look you always sent fans directed at her. The look she was sure had landed you most of your famous hookups. 

Though it kind of melted her heart that you only used it on her in a comedic sense. That it shifted back to the look she liked to think you saved just for her as soon as her giggles filled the air. 

“Do you want to watch something before dinner?” You asked, sobering and shifting awkwardly on the couch. “The pups and I thought a pillow fort would be cool,” 

Taylor hummed, leaning her chin on her hand. “I think that sounds incredible,” 

The little fist pump you gave was adorable, as was the way the dogs hopped around you, and in that moment she knew. 

When she looked back on this moment, it would be the one she would point to as the moment she knew she was in love. 

OoOoOoO

Taylor had been to a lot of places in her life. She had played down the road from Seat Geek Stadium in Chicago many times. 

But she had never gotten to see this side of the city. 

She had never gotten to be normal and watch a game without hordes of people screaming for her attention. She hadn’t even needed to use the special player entrance. The stadium attendants had escorted them to the box with zero fanfare, and she felt safe sitting in the open area of the box with the promise that the cameras rarely panned it. 

She didn’t even regret not bringing extra security like she thought she would. 

Her heart also fluttered each time you glanced up at the box, smiling impossibly wider each time she waved.  

It was like the little lanyard pass you had given her (and Tony) was an invisibility cloak.

It was an addictive feeling to be so… free. To be hidden to the rest of the world but so visible to you. 

“She’s really on fire tonight,” Tony said, glancing over at the game clock. 

You had only been on the field for 15 minutes, and you had already scored twice. 

“She’s got a lot to prove,” Taylor hummed, leaning forward in her seat as you slotted another better ball between the two opposing team’s defenders. “This is the first time she’s gotten to play since the Olympics,” 

You had already told her that you probably wouldn’t get to play the full first half anyway. Your coach was stuck on the penalty you took in Brazil just like the rest of the world was, even if Taylor didn’t see a point in basing your playtime off of it. 

That meant you had limited minutes to prove to them that you deserved to be on the pitch. To make them regret not starting you in other games, 

Tony’s head tilted as number 23 played a quick pass back to you and the ball buried itself into the back of the net with just the tap of your toes for your 3rd goal of the evening. 

It looked easy. Fluid. Even when he knew it was anything but. 

You smiled as the crowd went absolutely wild, tipping an invisible hat towards the bench. 

“I think it has more to do with who’s here,” Tony countered, gesturing towards where you winking towards the player's box was replaying on the Jumbotron. 

She shrugged, ignoring the slight red creeping up her cheeks and his sideways glance. “The team has so much more energy when she’s on the field,” 

Even as the teams got ready to reset, you bounced on your toes, twisting your hips in a way that reminded her of the shake it off dance  and saying words Taylor couldn’t hear to your teammates. Words she was sure were organizing your offense. Words she knew would help you continue to shred your former team, even if she herself wouldn’t understand them (watching a game with you had been like listening to a foreign language as you yelled at the screen, unwilling to translate until it was over). 

“She’s the focal point of their offense,” Tony agreed, deciding not to comment further on Taylor’s blush. “But tonight she’s playing more flashy than she normally plays,” 

Taylor hummed. He was right. 

From what she had seen, you were not generally a selfish player. You liked to serve balls on a platter to make your team look good. You liked to pull defenders and set your strikers up. 

Tonight you hadn’t done that. 

Tonight you had taken the chances for yourself, putting them in the back of the net and making sure the league knew exactly what you were capable of. You wanted to show them how dangerous you could be. 

“She’s proving a point,” Taylor reiterated. 

“I don’t disagree,” Tony said as you slotted a very nice through pass past the first defender, and the second just barely poked it out for a corner kick. You glanced up towards the box as you took your position, a little smirk on your face. “I’m just not sold that she’s only proving a point to the coaching staff, her teammates and the reporters,” 

Taylor’s head tilted. 

It was true that while you didn’t play flashy, you did like to tease the fans (and whoever had caught your eye that week). You knew their obsession with you, and you never missed an opportunity to play it up. 

But this felt different. 

You hadn’t been winking at anyone on the field, or in the stands. The only place you kept looking was over towards the coaching staff and up at her. 

“She doesn’t have anything to prove to me,” She said, sitting back in her chair as your header landed in the keeper's hands. 

Tony smirked. “I know that and you know that,” 

Taylor made a low noise, her eyes flitting to the sideline where the 4th official was getting ready with the sub-board. “I think she knows that too,”

You trudged to the sideline when your number came up, using your jersey to wipe your mouth (flashing your abs to the crowd) and glancing up at the clock. 

Taylor followed your eyes, frowning at the large 25 on the screen. 

It was stupid to take you off when you were playing so well, and the booing from the crowd echoed her sentiment. The fans were about as happy as you looked about coming off, even if it was already expected. 

You ignored your replacement and brushed off the coach's hand, glaring at him as you took the pinny from one of the equipment managers. 

There was an odd friction between you and the man, one that brought out a fierceness and an anger that countered your normally sunny personality. But then again, your personality was much different when you were on the field anyway. 

There was a confidence and swagger about you that made butterflies erupt in her stomach. That made her want you in a way that should make her feel uncomfortable. 

But even now, the way you signed autographs for the fans behind the bench reminded her that you were still you. You were still the sweet and shy, not the cocky character you played on the field (even if she was rather sexy). 

This version of you was the one that melted her heart. 

“She might know that, but I think she wants to impress you anyway,” Tony said, drawing her attention back to him. “It’s cute,” 

Taylor raised an eyebrow at him, clearing her throat and trying to ignore the warmth that moved from her cheeks up to her ears. “Shut up,” 

He chuckled, settling back in his seat, ready for the rest of the game (even if it had considerably slowed down now that you weren’t playing). He had a feeling that he would get to witness many more of your interactions in the future and that he would get to see your insane footwork on the field again if the look on Taylor’s face was anything to go by. 

Getting to see the two of you actually interact together had to be just as adorable, and he was looking forward to it. 

OoOoOoO

You sighed, leaning back on the couch, scratching Orion’s head where he rested it in your lap, just above your air therapy boots, and changing the channel for the 30th time. 

You weren’t actually watching the television, but you thought that some background noise would help alleviate the odd emptiness that had overtaken your apartment. It was quiet in a way you hadn’t expected now that Taylor (and Tony) were gone, and it made you feel like there was a little piece of you missing. 

Post-game recovery was always your least favorite part of the process. It always gave you too much time to think and to worry. To dissect every movement you made on the field. 

But now it also gave you too much time to miss Taylor. 

You understood why she had to leave after a quick congratulations after the game. You knew she was busy and that she needed to be in New York to record. 

That didn’t mean that a part of you didn’t wish she had stayed. 

You shook your head, shifting on the couch (much to Orion's annoyance). 

You weren’t supposed to get attached to Taylor. To people in general, really. 

Experience taught you that they would all leave eventually, no matter what they said or how much they promised you they wouldn’t. 

Your parents forgot about your existence when Alex started getting called up to the U20 team. Alex left you for college and was too wrapped up in her new life to remember you existed either. Your friends all left when they realized that you weren’t worth the effort.

 And Taylor…

She would leave too when she found out about the feelings you harbored for her. 

She would write a song about how you ruined your friendship because you were too selfish to accept that she would never feel like you did. Even if she didn’t, she would leave once she saw how fucked up you really were. 

Still, the little voice in your brain fixated on the chemistry between the two of you. On the moments where you caught her staring at your abs during the game, or how you would swear she was staring at your lips when you met her in the tunnel afterward. 

But she couldn’t like you that way, and if she did it was something more than a sexual curiosity. 

You blew out another breath. 

It wasn’t that you hadn’t crossed that line with your friends before, you had, but you didn’t want it to be like that with Taylor. You didn’t want her to be a fuck buddy or a one night stand that she would regret later. 

You couldn’t cross that line without her leaving you, but you weren’t even sure if there was a line to cross. Hell, you had never had a real relationship so you weren’t even sure if you had already crossed it. 

Did friends do the things you and Taylor did? Did friends fly cross country to help? Did they cuddle in pillow forts? 

You were just… lost. 

You had never felt so… attached before. 

You let your head fall back on the couch with a low thump. You didn’t know what to do, and you couldn’t call the person you normally would (Kelley) because she would tell Alex. 

You grabbed your phone from the edge of the couch, scrolling through your contacts until you found one of the few who weren’t ignoring you for missing the PK. One of the few who you trusted (even if you would get the shit teased out of you). 

You paused, your finger hovering over Emily’s picture. 

She would know what to do. She always knew what to do. 

It took you another second to gain the courage to actually press the call button, and you worried your bottom lip as it started to ring. 

She was definitely going to make fun of you. 

“I need your help,” You said as soon as Emily’s face appeared on the screen. 

“Hello Emily, how are you? I’m fine, thank you so much for asking,” 

“Emily,” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, but she just raised her eyebrows expectantly in response. Your shoulders sank. “Hello Emily, how are you?” 

“I’m doing great,” She smiled cheekily back at you. “Now what’s up?”

You ran a hand through your hair, rubbing over the short curls at the back of your neck, trying to mask how nervous you were. 

“I..-“ You stuttered, looking away. “There’s a girl, and I like her, but I have no clue what’s happening or what’s supposed to happen next,” 

She squinted at you. “Are you dating this girl?”

“No,” You breathed out, dragging your hand from your hair to press into your forehead. “I don’t think so. She’s my friend. She’s straight, but there’s all this weird tension, and I’m not sure if she would ever want to date me. I doubt it, cause like I said she’s straight. But she’s really really pretty and we cuddle and I like her a lot but i-“ 

“Y/n,” Emily said, cutting you off mid-ramble, a playful smile pulling at her lips. 

You blinked at her. “Yeah?”

“Let’s just start at the beginning,” She leaned forward, towards the phone, accentuating each syllable. “And talk at a pace where I can actually understand you,” 

“I…I got drunk and missed a game,” You swallowed down your blush and looked away from her raised eyebrow.  “She flew to Chicago to see me because she was worried, and I bought her her first burrito-,” 

“She’s never had a burrito before? What kind of person hasn’t had a burrito?” Emily snorted, and you felt the tension in your chest relax a little. 

You shrugged. “She said she never had one before. She liked it a lot,”

Emily’s head tilted in question, but she waved her hand. “Ok, carry on with your story,” 

You swallowed hard, focusing on how your fingers dug into the spot at the back of your neck“She came to check on me and convinced me to go to practice. I bought her a burrito, and we had Thai for dinner. 

“Did she sleep over?” She asked you, her pointer finger tapping her bottom lip. 

You nodded slowly. “Yeah. The huskies cuddled up with us in a pillow fort and we both fell asleep to survivor,” 

Emily sighed, sending you a pointed look. That wasn’t what she had been asking. “But you didn’t sleep together?” 

Red instantly colored your cheeks, and the pads of your fingers dug further into the muscles at the base of your skull. “Not in the um… traditional sense,” 

You looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. You couldn’t have Taylor in that way. She didn’t want you. 

And if you crossed that boundary (like you had with only one other person who was a friend) then you knew you would lose her. 

You weren’t ready for that. 

But at the same time, you didn’t know how to not cross it. Not with the feelings still bubbling in your chest. 

Emily’s eyes narrowed. “Is she still there?” 

“No, she had to go back to New York after the game,” You shook your head. “And we’re going to meet up again while you all are at came because there’s a break,” 

Despite how much you didn’t want her to go, you understood that she had responsibilities and music to record, but that didn’t stop the way your chest ached now that she was gone. 

It didn’t stop the confusion racing around your brain. 

Emily stared at you like you had grown 3 heads. “A girl flew to Chicago for you, waited at your shitty apartment while you were at practice, let you bring her lunch and take her out to dinner, then attended a shitty Red Stars game and you still don’t know if she’s into you,” 

You sighed, weaving your fingers through the too-long curls at the base of your neck and tugging. 

“She’s my friend, Emily,” You grit out. 

She raised an eyebrow at you. “The same friend who answers every time you call her,” 

You tugged harder. “You don’t understand,”

Taylor was like that with all of her friends. She made everyone feel like they were the only person she could see. The only person who mattered when she was with them. 

“I understand just fine,” She snorted. “You’re such a dumbass,” 

You sent her a withering glare. “Emily be serious, please,”

She held her hand up in defense. “I am being serious. You’ve been on at least 2 dates, and she invited you to her place. All before the two of you have hooked up. If that doesn’t scream dating, or the desire to be dating, then I don’t know what will,”

You shook your head, dragging your fingers up through your hair and down your face. 

This was why you hadn’t wanted to call Emily. Why Kelley or Alex would have been a much better option. 

“This is not why I called you,” You mumbled. 

“Then what is?” She asked, sounding amused. 

“I…-“ You bit your lip and finally looked up at her, meeting her eyes through the phone. “I don’t know how any of this works, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next,” 

“Well, at some point a conversation should happen where you define what you two are doing,” She said slowly, her voice turning soft but serious. “but other than that, I think you just go with it,”

You squinted. “Just go with it?”

What was her brilliant advice to your crisis? To just… let whatever was going to happen happen. 

“Yeah, if you’re into it and she’s into it, just be into it, together,” She shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” 

Part of you wanted to yell that it already was complicated. That you couldn’t cross a line and lose her like you’d lost everyone else. But you didn’t. 

“Ok,” You said. “Thank you,” 

Emily smiled brilliantly back at you. “No problem, I’ll see you soon,”

You stared at the black screen of the phone as she ended the call. 

Maybe she was right. Maybe you just had to go with it and trust your gut. 

Maybe it would all be ok if you didn’t overthink it. That’s why you were good at hookups after all wasn’t it? 

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Hi Aerie! I hope this week doesn’t suck so bad.

Can I have some Mer Roadtrip or Demon Neil please?

@aftgphoenix

WIP Wednesday (11/13) | Mer Roadtrip AU (Part 92)

"Neil Josten," Neil says softly, turning it over in his mind and seeing how it feels on his tongue. It seems like it would be a decent name. Just random enough to be random, to belong to anyone. If Josten actually is a last name...

"Have we got a winner?"

"I think so." Neil nods, then pulls out his notepad to scribble it down. He practices writing it a couple times, then signing it.

"A-ha!" Andrew snaps his fingers suddenly. "Now I remember where I've heard it. 'Jostens' is a brand that makes school stuff. Uh, yearbooks, class rings, all that junk. They made them at my school anyway."

"So it's a name?"

"Most likely." Andrew pulls out his phone and thumbs a few keys before squinting at the screen. "Yeah, a name."

"I thought we didn't have... internet service." Neil says, gesturing to Andrew's hand.

"We don't. The hotel has wi-fi. I'm shocked this thing can connect to it, but alas we live in truly incredible times." Andrew shoves a heavily laden plate toward him. "Neil Abram Josten, are you going to eat breakfast or not?"

"Yeah, yeah." Neil moves to grab his plate and hops up onto the desk to eat. Josten. Neil smiles. He thinks he likes that.

"You think I should keep Abram in the middle?" He asks as he picks up the unholy sandwich Andrew made him. It's a horrible mishmash, a leaning tower of breakfast. But Neil will eat anything.

"It's yours, why wouldn't you keep it." Andrew says, giving him a look. Neil supposes he has a point. He takes a bite of his breakfast sandwich and is surprised.

"Hey, not bad."

"Yes, I'm a genius," Andrew says with a big, pointy-toothed grin. "Too bad there was no syrup. That would've been great."

Neil hums an agreement and the two of them eat breakfast together before packing up all their things and watching TV until it's nearly time to check out. Neil returns the key and when he meets Andrew at the car, the other boy has procured another half dozen muffins and a paper plate piled with chocolate chip cookies.

"Where did you..."

"The dining room," Andrew answers from the passenger seat. "They left it unguarded. Not my fault. They should get better security in there." He crams an entire cookie into his mouth and grimaces before opening his door to spit it on onto the blacktop. "Oatmeal raisin. Disgusting."

"That's what you get for stealing."

"Karma isn't real, Neil. Neither is the tooth fairy, in case you're wondering." Andrew picks up another cookie and gives it a long look. Neil starts the car.

"If you get another bad cookie you have to eat it, can't be flinging the door open on the highway."

"Watch me." Andrew says. Neil presses a button on the door panel to lock all the doors. After giving him an incredulous look, Andrew finds the same button on his door and unlocks them again. "Stalemate."

"Andrew—"

[thelunarsystemwrites]

💙The two hundred follower DTIYS results!💙

We had some extravagant entries!! But alas, only our top four five will be receiving a prize! ^^'

In fourth place, may everyone welcome to the stage....

@somehhuuuhh!! who will also get my personal declaration of most creative entry!!

In third place, shining the spotlight on...

@and-bone-appetit!! I love love love what you did which the vines!!

Coming in second, rolling out the red carpets for... there were many to choose from, we actually have TWO second place winners, it was a tie!

@waxysketchd AND @determinedfanartist!! I loved both of these equally, and couldn't pick between the two! Which is when I remembered, it's my DTIYS and I can pick two second place winners!

...And finally, the one most akin to the original drawing, and first place, let's open up the curtains and let the moonlight in.... our first place winner is!...

@pixieperson19!!! This was EXTREMELY close!! I loved how absolutely on point you drew it!! While adding in your own creative touches!!

Also! Honourable mention to @largefound and @marisunshine903 for their unique perspectives in their drawings!!

PRIZES! I can't remember exactly what they were since I can't find the post, but I'm pretty sure they were the following!

FIRST PLACE: A fully/coloured shaded full body!

SECOND PLACE: Coloured nearly half body! (Thighs up!)

THIRD PLACE: Coloured shoulder up shot!

FOURTH PLACE: a doodle/sketch, ranging from half body to headshot depending on what's wanted! ^^'

RULES!

You may ask for any UTMV sans/oc, or your ocs as long as there's a full reference. Monster/nonhuman are my strong suit, but humans/humanoid is allowed too!

You may also request something like scenery, not sure why you would but you can! ^^

I will not do art of your irl face!

Once the outlines are done, it'll be sent to you, this is your last chance to ask for changes before I colour/clean up. Afterwards, what you get will be your prize ^^"

You may repost the art/use it as you wish, but no commercial use, no AI training, no tracing over it! Make sure to credit me if you repost!

I will only post the prize art if you'd like me too!

ABSOLUTELY NO com/proship related uses!

Don't request NSFW ^^" suggestive is okay

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DENY YOUR REQUEST in which case you'll have to make a new one.

Uhh I think that's everything! Understand It'll take me awhile!

I'm bad at poses but I'll try!

Thank you to everyone for participating!! The next DTIYS will not have prizes sadly, and will be at 400 followers! <33

Once again, thank you everyone who wanted to join, who joined, who commented and reblogged, and more!!

Stay safe crescents!

Byeee!

(ALSOO I will be posting about prizes soon!)

[iridescent-solstice]

“ 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝? ”

Congratulations to the lucky winners of yesterday's competition!!

There were multiple people who got all the words correct, but alas there can only be so many winners. Thank you again to everyone who participated. Even if there's only 3 . . . er 4 winners, it's only because I saw everyone have so much fun with my puzzle that i'm motivated to plan out more events like this in future. The interactions in the comments made me giggle ngl, because I did throw in some traps, and I was delighted to see people muse over them 🙆🏻‍♀️

Now without further ado, here are the results ⏬ 🥇@@casioo 🥈 @orikuu 🥉 @cinsilly!!

But wait . . . didn't I mention 4 winnners? Yup you're right! There is a 4th winner and its @muriels-brainrot. Not only were you, @muriels-brainrot , the first to respond but you also got EVERY SINGLE word, even the trap ones. The only reason you didn't win was because you forgot the last official one: mask . . . Seriously how did you do that, and so quickly too haha

I'm very curious to know how the experience of the event was so, if anyone is willing to offer feedback . . . i'd be happy to hear it in my dms. If you didn't win this time, but wanted one of the prizes, worry not because there will be more opportunities in like these in the distant future! I hope to see you there as well

(Winners keep reading to find out the rules when requesting, prizes available, and HOW to contact me for to claim them)

In order to claim the prize please contact me in my dms 🙆🏻‍♀️✨ But do read the information below first!

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬:

┈➤ A long fic dedicated to the winner. Can be an idea they'd like to be more fleshed out or something else if they prefer. ┈➤ A custom made banner for their blog. Can be edited to an aesthetic they prefer, or be centred around a character (limited to the arcana characters for now) ┈➤ A ꜱɴᴇᴀᴋᴘᴇᴀᴋ into a future project i'm planning that no one knows about . . . yet

𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬:

⤳ In the events of the winner choosing the first prize, please note that I will not write NSFW. Best case scenario, it'll be hinted at towards the end but not more than that. ⤳ In the events of a winner choosing the third prize, you are not allowed to disclose any details about the project before I do. (Obviously the surprise is sometimes part of the experience of these projects) ⤳ It took a long time to make this puzzle. A lot more work than I initially imagined so a) Don't copy and repost b) criticism for my editing is appreciated, but only if it's constructive. Otherwise refrain. c) Do give credit if you use the banner, just so people can find my blog and take part in future challenges. ⤳ If I take longer than necessary, it's just so I can give you the best version of my work possible! So, regardless of whatever prize the winner chooses, rest assured I won't stop until you're satisfied with the end product.

WARNING: Failure to comply with my rules and regulations will lead to getting banned from future competitions.

[hongcherry]

Hi! I'm doing good, thank you for asking and for answering my question :D. I REALLY love your writing and I want to request a roommate!JungKook x roommate!reader enemies to lovers fic, when it's raining a lot, so the power goes out and the reader is scared of the dark, please. I hope you're having a good day/night, don't forget to take care of yourself ♡

Your Light || jjk

"Being stuck in the dark with your annoying roommate was not ideal, however, maybe it wasn't so bad in the end."

💡 Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)

💡 Rating/Genres: NC-17; Fluff, roommate au, enemies to lovers

💡 Warnings: Cursing, mc hates children (joking...), bantering, mentions of stereotypes of older people/grandmas, that's it?

💡 Word Count: 2.3k

💡 Author’s Note: Anon, I'm so touched that you like my writing so much! That's such a big and sweet compliment. I'll cherish it forever! Tbh, I've been feeling a lil insecure about it, so this really made me feel better. This prompt was also really adorable! I hope you enjoy it. I'm glad you're doing good 💖

part two

bts masterlist | main masterlist

What’s more annoying than telling your roommate to stop yelling at his screen at three in the morning?

Having to tell him for the fourth time.

If you knew Jungkook was an avid video gamer, you would never have agreed to room with him. But alas, his profile was too perfect to be true. A quiet guy who stayed holed up in his room? One that knew how to cook? Someone that could lift your heavy move-in boxes? Truly a winner.

If only that was the whole case.

Jungkook indeed stayed in his room, could cook, and could lift heavy items.

But he also made loud noises in the middle of the night, cooked at the weirdest times so you couldn’t leech off his food, and made you pay him anytime he helped you move items.

What a menace.

“If you don’t turn off that stupid screen at ten, I’m going to cut up all your cords,” you threatened, towel and spare clothes in your arms as you peeped your head in Jungkook’s room.

You were preparing to go to sleep early due to having stayed up late last night because of his stupid shooting game. It was also raining outside, which would aid in you falling asleep faster since you found the rain peaceful.

Jungkook didn’t reply and simply kept his focus on his screen. He wore a headset, fingers flying across the keyboard. Irritated at his lack of response, you stomped over to him and yanked off his headset.

To your utter annoyance, that didn’t even phase him.

“Jeon Jungkook, are you even listening?” you hissed.

Laughter came from somewhere in the room, but you two were the only one's home. It was not until you heard another voice that you knew where the sound was coming from.

“Is that your mom?” the voice laughed. “Tell her to go back to knitting a sweater for her cat.”

A gasp left your lips at the implication you were some old, wrinkly lady. You raised the headset to your face. You didn’t put it on, but you put your mouth near the microphone, so his “friends” could hear.

“How about you go eat your supper and go to bed, little vermin,” you angrily replied. “And I’ll have you know cats dressed in sweaters are cute!”

More laughter emitted from the headset.

“Supper?” another voice echoed. “I don’t think that’s his mom—more like his grandma.”

“Why you tiny piece of-”

“Give me the headset,” Jungkook finally acknowledged you. Not wanting to hear any more of the pests known as kids, you thrust the equipment in his open hand. You noticed his character had died and was waiting to respawn.

Jungkook slipped the headset back on and continued his game. “Relax guys. She’s just my roommate.”

Even though the device wasn’t near your ears, you could still hear their replies.

“Your grandma is your roommate?”

“She’s so uptight!”

“Seriously, tell her to calm down.”

Your hands clutched your belongings tighter. You told yourself to walk away—fighting with them was no use; however, you couldn’t stop yourself when you leaned down near Jungkook’s face to get near the mic once more.

“I hope your parents make you eat a pound of vegetables.”

“Go away,” Jungkook huffed and gave you a gentle shove.

“Tell me you’ll turn that off at ten.”

“Eleven,” he bargained, eyes glancing at you when his character died again. You must really be distracting him for him to have died twice within five minutes. Good. You hoped his ranking plummeted.

“Ten-thirty,” you said. “That or I grab my scissors.”

“Fine. Ten-thirty. Now leave before I get my own scissors.”

You scoffed, hand on your hip. “And do what with them? Make paper snowflakes?”

Jungkook smirked at you before turning back to his game. “Don’t think I don’t know where you hide that stupid stuffed chipmunk of yours.”

Your jaw dropped slightly as you stared at him incredulously.

“Ten-thirty,” you repeated firmly before walking out of his room and shutting the door. The walls weren’t thick, but at least it kept some noise out.

You started making your way to your bathroom; however, you couldn’t get rid of the paranoia that Jungkook really knew where Mr. BonBon was. You made a quick detour to relocate your favorite plushie. You had won it at an arcade on your thirtieth try. It held sentimental (monetary) value.

Once you were done, you trekked to your bathroom. Finally, you could end your day with a relaxing steamy shower. No doubt your shoulders were sore from all the stress you’ve endured lately. From tests to 3 a.m. hollering, you couldn’t wait to have some time to decompress.

The feel of the hot water pouring down on your body had your eyes closed momentarily. You could probably stay there for half an hour, but your goal tonight was to go to sleep early. You kept that in mind as you went through your shower routine. You were just rinsing the soap from your body when the lights suddenly went out.

Startled by the unexpected darkness, you fumbled to turn off the water. It must be Jungkook pranking you.

You hastily grabbed your towel and wrapped it around your body, so he couldn’t get a free show.

“Turn the lights back on, Jungkook!” you exclaimed.

When you didn’t get an answer, your brain started conjuring up fantasies. And not the ones where you find a charming partner and run off into the sunset. No, these thoughts consisted of a three-headed beast clawing its way from your drain, or a long-haired lady crawling from your mirror. While living with Jungkook was a pain in your rear, you much rather live with him for eternity than be captured by one of your “mind monsters.”

The haunting thoughts had you hastily scurrying from the shower, hair still dripping water and making a mess of your tiles. That was the least of your worries as an imaginary hand was reaching from the mirror that you passed on your way out of the bathroom.

You took two steps into your bedroom only to scream when you saw a dark figure standing a few feet from you. Your hand reached to your side to grab whatever was closest while the other clutched the towel around you. When you finally grabbed onto something, you flung it as hard as you could at the mysterious person.

They grunted, stumbling back a little and cursing under their breath.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” Jungkook grunted.

Your heart was still racing, but at least your shoulders eased.

“I could’ve killed you!” you screeched.

“I’d like to see you try,” he huffed. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you just knew that little shit was rolling his eyes.

As you were calming down, a loud thunder cracked outside. It had you jumping and shuffling closer to Jungkook unknowingly. That must be the reason for the power outage.

“I’m going to try to find a flashlight,” Jungkook spoke.

“What about your phone?” you wondered.

“Misplaced it, but I rather not use it right now anyway if I can’t charge it,” he said. He started to move, but you quickly stumbled closer so you could grab his wrist.

“Wait!” you exclaimed.

Jungkook paused in his steps to look at you. “What?”

“I- I can help you find it.”

The quiver in your voice grabbed Jungkook’s attention and he finally put some effort into reading your body language.

You were tensed, hand still holding onto him and your towel tightly. You were also strangely too close.

“You’re scared of the dark,” he stated, a small chuckle sounding at this realization.

“No! I’m j-just trying to help.”

Maybe you were scared. You hated the way your paranoia skyrocketed when you couldn’t see. There was something too eerie about having one of your five senses taken away from you.

“Are you crying?” he questioned, and you felt his hand brush against yours that held him.

“What? No. Why would you-”

“Something wet landed on me. Please don’t tell me that was your snot or something,” he replied, voice full of dread.

Your hair was still wet and probably leaving your floor slippery.

“I just came from the shower! It’s just water,” you groaned and slowly let go of his arm.

“O-oh.” He sounded startled.

Your eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness as some of the moonlight crept in from the window through your curtain.

“Let me change, but don’t-” you sighed at how much you needed him. “-don’t leave me.”

You expected Jungkook to make a witty reply, but he simply nodded, an action you could faintly see.

“Only if you let me sit on your bed,” he bargained. Each time he would climb on your bed, you would always shoo him away—claiming he was spreading his germs all over your clean sheets.

“Fine,” you said. You stuck out your arms as you felt your way to your closet. You could see the outline of some closer objects, but you still felt uncomfortable not seeing far away.

“Ah, fuck,” Jungkook cursed before you heard thudding.

“What happened?” you asked quickly, heart beginning to race as your mind pictured Jungkook getting snatched by the monster under your bed.

“Nothing,” he groaned. “When did you put a bench by your bed?”

Your body relaxed again. He must have tripped over it and fallen. “A day ago.”

Once you found your closest, you quickly changed to whatever your hands touched. You had clothes in the bathroom, but there was no way you were risking getting grabbed by another monster in there.

“Done,” you announced and reached out again. Jungkook met you halfway, taking your hand in his. It was your first time holding his hand, and you didn’t like the way your body warmed at his touch.

“Just going to go to my room; I have a flashlight there,” he instructed. His voice didn’t hold the playfulness or irritation it usually did. It was softer. It was odd to hear, but not unpleasant.

You followed him slowly down the hall to his room, the path familiar to you but still making you anxious.

“Wait here and I’ll get it,” he instructed and started to pull away. However, the moment he took a step forward, you clutched him again.

“S-sorry,” you said quickly when he was tugged back. Jungkook paused, staring down at you with eyes you couldn’t read.

Taking in a steady breath, he repositioned your hands onto his hoodie.

“It’s okay. Hold on,” he said and moved. You continued to hold onto his clothes while he shuffled around in his closet.

“Aha!”

Suddenly light flooded the room. Jungkook’s gaze drifted from the flashlight to you. With the light, your worrisome expression could be seen clearly. Not to mention, just how close you were to Jungkook.

“You okay?” he asked.

His voice had you moving away quickly, your body heating from embarrassment.

“Just fine,” you answered. “How long do you think the electricity will be out?”

Jungkook shrugged. “It depends I guess. For now, we can use this so our phones can save power.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Nice outfit,” Jungkook mumbled, voice teasing like you were used to. It somehow made you feel better.

You glanced down, only now taking in your mismatched attire.

“You try getting dressed in the dark,” you grumbled. He smiled and glanced around.

“You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said, gesturing.

You wanted to reject his invitation—make some sort of excuse to sleep in your own room; however, you knew you wouldn’t be okay sleeping alone. Before you could make your decision, Jungkook started to pull out an extra pillow and blanket from his closet. He tossed them onto the floor and then set the flashlight on the nightstand, light shining up at the ceiling. It had cast enough light to make you feel safer.

“If you don’t get in that bed, I’m going to keep playing until four,” he threatened light heartily when he saw you standing still.

“You already do that,” you argued but relented to his request.

“And I’ll continue doing that if you don’t-”

“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed as you climbed into his bed. “I’m in.”

Jungkook’s lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile. “Good.”

A part of you wanted to offer to share his bed, however, you decided against it since you two weren’t that close. One night on the floor won’t hurt him anyway.

“Goodnight, Yn,” he mumbled from below.

You nestled in his covers, taking in the calming scent of them and letting your eyes close. “Goodnight, Jungkook.”

Luckily, the electricity was only out for a few hours. It came back on in the middle of the night. You had started to leave Jungkook’s room, but he insisted you stay in case the power went out again. Not liking that possibility, you agreed. It wasn’t that bad being with Jungkook anyway.

Later that week, you came home to a box on your bed. You didn’t order anything lately, so you weren’t sure what it was. However, upon closer inspection, you saw your name on it. Inside was a chipmunk-shaped night light. You’ve seen these in stores and online, usually advertised to children, but that didn’t matter. It was battery-operated, which meant even if the power went out, you could still use the device.

Your lips lifted in a smile while you inspected the cute light. You set it on your nightstand and then returned your attention to the box. You still weren’t sure who had gifted you this. Though, sure enough, you found a card laying at the bottom of the box, face down. Turning it over, it read:

In case I’m not here next time. JK

Your eyes lingered on the hand-written note. Partly in denial that Jungkook, your annoying, disobeying roommate, had gotten you something so considerate. Nevertheless, your view of him was slowly changing—for the better.

You checked your clock and realized Jungkook would be home from his class soon. As a thank you, you started to cook dinner. It wasn’t going to be the most elaborate meal he's had since he was the better chief, but you hoped it would convey the gratitude you had for his thoughtful present.

Maybe living with Jungkook wasn’t that bad after all.

A/N: Thank you again, anon! 🥰

Also if any of you knit sweaters for cats, you're a rockstar. Don't let anyone tell you differently 👿

For my "shy/silent" readers, I've created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

©️mimikookie // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[racingliners]

⭐ for tros, please! xx

fanfic writers directors cut

Again there is SO MUCH I want to talk about with TRoS!!! Like I could go full PowerPoint presentation, but alas it's twenty to 11 at night as I'm typing this so that'll have to be for another day.

So for now, I'm gonna talk about the podium scene in the Spanish GP chapter!

(Under a read more, I got chatty.)

So with Seb being Chief Strategist there was always the possibly of him being picked as a Constructor's representative for the podium and I 1. obviously wanted to write about Seb getting soaked in champagne while wearing a famous white Merc shirt and 2. wanted it to be a Lewis win for Sewis reasons.

The way I do worldbuilding for AUs means that I like to include echos or references of canon/IRL events. In this case in the 2017 season Lewis and Seb were 1-2 on the podium at the Spanish GP, as well as sharing so many podiums over their careers, as well as having a Seb-Lewis-Jenson podium at Barcelona in 2011, so I really wanted to make reference to both of those races.

I also wanted to play around in the "How does Engineer!Seb feel about his F1 career and does he ever miss or think about what he could have had?" sandbox.

Hence why I opened the chapter with the following paragraph:

Sebastian hadn’t been able to pinpoint the exact moment he’d stopped feeling like an imposter when he walked through the paddock entrance. It had just… happened. He’d scanned his pass while chatting with James Vowles and stopped feeling the watchful eyes of every paddock photographer, pundit, commentator and journalist leering on him. He no longer felt like Seb the Red Bull prodigy turned reject playing dress up, but that he finally matched the words on his accreditation – Sebastian Vettel, Chief Strategist at Mercedes AMG Petronas Motorsport. (It was a wordy job title, but he adored every single letter).

Sebastian's happy, and most importantly comfortable in his new role in the F1 world. That is until he's told that he's been picked to be the Constructor's rep on the podium and a lot of stuff shoots up to the surface.

As Seb looked into James’ kind eyes, all he felt was a slight tightening in his chest. And yet, he didn’t want to let anyone down, or more accurately didn’t want to disrespect the team, by saying no. “It’s just champagne Seb,” James Allison clapped a heavy hand on Sebastian’s shoulder that just about managed to pull him back into the present. The bright blue sky, the roar of the crowd, the concrete beneath his feet, and the eyes of all of his colleagues now trained on him. “You might actually enjoy it.” Seb half forced himself to let out a small laugh and nervously pulled at his ear. “If you wanted to see me soaking wet before now, you should have just asked.” He said with a shy grin, and thankfully everyone either rolled their eyes or tutted instead of looking at Seb with concerned glances.

Seb Vettel 101: When faced with the realisation that 10 years after having your F1 driving career crushed to pieces you're finally going to stand on the winners step of the podium - be slutty to distract your colleagues from your impending crisis.

Sidenote, writing about Seb and his developing friendships with the other Mercedes engineers makes me so happy, you cannot even begin to imagine

I was in two minds for the longest time about whether or not to write the podium from Seb's or Lewis' POV, I eventually settled on Lewis because I wanted him to have his "oh wait Seb's kinda hot" moment, because as we know the Mercedes engineers look very good in their champagne sodden shirts.

But before I switched POVs, Lewis in typical Lewis fashion bounds into the cool down room on cloud nine and he manages to lift Seb's spirit just enough that he willingly walks onto the podium of his own free will. And (shockingly) Seb actually has a very nice time. (Mercedes 101: Always listen to James Allison).

As the British anthem ended and the German one began, he went to glance down at his mechanics, but hearing a quiet but definitely there voice singing stopped him. Sure enough when Lewis looked over his right shoulder and peered past Jenson, he could just make out Seb quietly mouthing the words to the German anthem. Lewis quickly looked away, not wanting to make Seb feel embarrassed, and quietly smiled to himself as he inhaled the warm afternoon air and felt the sunshine on his face. ... He set the trophy down so he would have his hands free to applaud Sebastian, who stared at the constructors trophy wide eyed and slightly breathless. He nervously shook the hand of the official who presented it to him, and looked at the trophy for a couple of seconds before his face split into a familiar bright grin, and he lifted it up into the air to the cheers of all his teammates gathered below, and the quiet applause of Lewis a couple of metres away. He was briefly taken aback by just how relieved Sebastian looked.

Something Seb was always meant to be on a podium with a winner's trophy something.

“Alright!” Seb shouted loudly over the podium music as champagne dripped from the tips of his hair. “Fuck, you got me.” Lewis burst out laughing as he turned to face the crowd and sprayed over the edge of the podium fence towards the team before looking back to see Seb wiping champagne from his eyes. Lewis stepped back up to the top step of the podium, and gestured for Sebastian to join him. He hesitated before slowly climbing the podium steps, and accepted the now half empty bottle when Lewis offered it to him. “Have they always been this heavy?” Seb asked once he’d taken a long sip, weighing the bottle in his hands. Lewis just nodded and put a hand on Seb’s shoulder, smiling at him proudly. “Back where you belong mate.” Lewis said quietly looking right into Seb’s eyes, not wanting the other two drivers to hear. Seb choked out a small laugh before he set the bottle of champagne down by Lewis’ feet. His bright blue eyes still wide and sparkling. “Back where we belong.” He pulled Lewis in for a long hug before either of them had the chance to say anything else. They kept their arms round each other’s shoulders as they stood for the podium photograph, before people walked out carrying team caps and microphones and Seb was quietly asked to leave. He quickly shook hands with Jenson and Daniel before jumping down off the podium. “Hey Seb!” Lewis called out, and Sebastian paused as he went to pick up the constructors trophy. “Wait for me?” “I will.” He said with a smile, and Lewis watched as Seb carried the trophy out of view.

I wanted Seb to mis-remember what some parts of being on a podium (the size of the cooldown room, the weight of the champagne bottles etc) so that when he experiences it for real, it sort of shatters the image he had previously held in his mind and he realises that podiums are fun actually!!! And where he and Lewis belong!!!!! (As the author I DID wail out loud when I came up with that piece of dialogue, thanks for asking😭😭😭).

And yes, dear reader, Seb does wait for Lewis because they're just Like That™️ about each other. To which, we finally lead to, Big Revelation 1 of The Rules of Strategy:

“You good?” Lewis asked, putting a firm hand on his shoulder while looking Seb up and down. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Seb nodded with a breathy sigh. “I missed it, standing on a podium.” Seb bit down on his bottom lip and looked down at the floor as his grin grew even wider. His shirt was still soaked through, accentuating the toned muscles of his torso. For some reason Lewis just couldn’t stop looking at Seb while he wistfully glanced out of the window back towards the podium. The way the sun hit Seb’s hair made it look like it was gilded with gold. ... Lewis shook his head, and forcefully pulled his mind back into focus for his post-race media duties, not wanting Jenson or Daniel to see that he was distracted – even though Lewis wasn’t entirely sure just what had briefly confused him.

Seb is hot and this is the hill I will die on.

Lewis, being Lewis, off-screen fixes his brain back into PR mode and then into driver mode for the post-race debrief so he probably tucks that train of thought deep down in his brain where it can't bother him (when it's actually going to be a surprise tool that will help us later).

I loved coming up with and writing this chapter as it's the first shift in the development of Seb and Lewis' relationship. It's definitely still professional and platonic at this stage, but seeds have been planted at the very least on Lewis' side and things are slowly starting to grow.

[iamaverysadbanana]

Oscars 2024 Nominations Thoughts (Part Two)

The Color Purple: Best Supporting Actress (Danielle Brooks)

Personally, I would have nominated Taraji P. Henson as Shug, but Danielle Brooks is a good choice. As for the film itself, I give it a solid 8/10. Also, I really need to watch the 1985 movie. (As for author Alice Walker's bigotry, we'll put a pin in that).

The Boy and the Heron: Best Animated Feature (Hayao Miyazaki and Toshio Suzuki)

Finally, some quality traditional animation! Please let this one win the Oscar. We need more 2-D animated films! I need to see this movie again so badly!

Nimona: Best Animated Feature (Nick Bruno, Troy Quane, Karen Ryan, and Julie Zackary)

Disney tried to kill Nimona and failed so spectacularly that the internet is rightfully clowning on them for it. I personally think Boy and the Heron should be the winner, but I will not be mad if Nimona gets it. (Side Note: A movie about Flamin' Hot Cheetos got a nomination for Best Original Song, and Disney Animation's 100th anniversary project got stiffed. That's fucking hilarious).

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: Best Animated Feature (Kemp Powers, Justin K. Thompson, Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, and Amy Pascal)

Quick, who is the best Spider and why is it Hobie Brown? All kidding (and Spider-Punk worship) aside, this would have been my pick had it not been for Boy and the Heron's unexpected smash hit at the box office and my heart. Again, won't be mad if this one wins either.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar: Best Live Action Short Film (Wes Anderson and Steven Rales)

Never has there been a more perfect pairing than Wes Anderson's directing style and Roald Dahl's witty prose. Case in point- Fantastic Mr. Fox is one of the best animated films of all time. I admit I haven't seen the other nominations in this category, so maybe take what I have to say about this particular film with a grain of salt. Still, I'll check out the other shorts on Netflix.

As for movies that got stiffed by the Oscars this year:

I am honestly so surprised that Saltburn got nothing this year. It didn't even get acting nominations! At the very least, I would have acknowledged Barry Keoghan for his brilliant performance as Oliver Quick. On the other hand, I understand why the Academy may not have wanted to touch this one with a ten-foot pole. There were times in the theater where I actually started laughing out of pure discomfort. Still, I wish Barry (and heck, Emerald Fennell for Best Director) got seats at the adult's table.

In any other year, Once Upon a Studio would have been nominated for Best Animated Short Film. Hell, it might have even won! But alas, this was Disney's annus horribilis, and the company had nobody to blame but itself. It's hubris was it's downfall in the eyes of the all-powerful Academy.

And that's all they wrote! See you at the movies!

[inventors-fair]

Coming Out on Top: Battle Winners ~

Our winners for this week are @corporalotherbear, @horsecrash, and @stupidstupidratcreatures!

@corporalotherbear — Barroom Bash

Simple, effective, and—most importantly—incredibly violent. What more can you ask for? It's evident that this battle knows where it's taking place and what the feeling is supposed to be. The high-spirited clash between patrons is one that you have to control, and one that your opponents have to break up if they want to prevent you from getting out of hand. What I love here from the flavor perspective is the fact that red is, in its own way, inviting other colors to play to their strengths in combat and forcing them to redirect their ire away from you while still encouraging combat.

Gameplay-wise, oh yeah, that's a battle all right. It's functional to an enchantment, sure, but what's the major difference? Combat. Combat becomes so important to how this card wants the battlefield to function. It reminds me, in a weird roundabout way, of how becoming the monarch encouraged people to start attacking around. Once someone became the monarch, they got out of hand until they were taken down. Just so—maybe you only get one counter, because you're trying to send a creature or two into the fray, but the impact that you made on board complexity was everything you could ask for.

@horsecrash — Siege of the Bone Spire / Hero of the Honored Dead

I am 30-99% sure this is a reference that I definitely don't recall sitting here at yonk-o'clock in the morning. All the same, powerful cards can have powerful backsides, and this card feels absolutely exhausting to get through if you happen to have it land on you. The draining is an interesting twist on the mechanics of battles, because it forces some long-term play. You know what, as an aside, I'd like to mention how cool the late-term battles can be, because maybe you've built up an evasive board state but don't have quite enough power to chip away. Well, what if a battle turns the side and you can diversify your attackers? That's the key, and also an argument for why battles and ETB effects don't have to be tied.

The only caution or question is whether or not one would even want to attack this battle if its front face is so strong. The main answer against that line of gameplay is because the backside is incredible powerful. Like, absolutely stronk. Getting that thing landed might go down to a Doom Blade but it sure wouldn't die to a Dismember or whatnot. The body's solid and the lifegain is incredibly strong. Too strong? Debatable; I think that 3 life would be fine, personally, but what do I know.

@stupidstupidratcreatures — Granary Raid

I think I had some difficulty with my assault card picks this week. In the end, I'm going to give it to this card, because I'm imagining/extrapolating that this could go on multiple different worlds for different justifications. Maybe on Amonkhet there's anger at the coalitions getting into the dwindling crop supply. Maybe on Bloomburrow there's a wonderful sneaky assault of field mice breaking into someone's corny palace. That's just one reason, but I do get the vibes of this card, and it groks on every level to me.

The limitations of choosing also means that having multiple creatures won't even matter. The best-case scenario is having three 1/1 creatures each deal damage to this card, of course. Afterwards? Who knows! The granary has been raided. Even a single creature smacking this thing down for card draw can be potent. I think it's cool how this encourages complicated decision-making. Get your creatures too adept at granary-thieving and they'll destroy all the supplies before getting the benefits. For shame! Alas, that's a fantasy. I'd love to hear more about the specifics of your own flavoring sometime.

Runners to come... @abelzumi

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up, Ep 5: The First 3x3 Death Match Performance

Welcome back to your favorite recap series that you’re currently looking at: My Build Up Recaps! In the previous one, we covered all the setup for the next round of performances, the 3x3 Death Match. In this one, we’ll finish off episode 5. We’ll check in with the judges and see a performance. Let’s go!

(By the way, I am not going to spoil who is in any of the performances above the read more link, post elimination, so that if you’re behind on the show, my page will always be safe to visit.) 

It’s performance day --  time for some banter between the judges.

Alas, Seungkwan from Seventeen won't be here today since he was a one day judge. I’ll miss him, and I’ll miss Team Pledis. 

Both the female judges are dressed to the nines. Solar looks especially gorgeous in a black dress with gathered spaghetti straps and perfectly wavy hair, kind of a Veronica Lake look. 

Wendy has gotten extensions since we saw her last, and she looks beautiful in an off the shoulder ruffly white dress. 

Meanwhile, the male judges showed up in whatever they found on the chair next to their beds.

What is Baekho wearing?? Does it say Fart? It can’t say Fart. What does it say and why does it say Fart? What is happening? He still looks hot, though. 

The guest judge arrives, and it's Lim Seulong of 2am.

I admit, I'm not really a fan of 2am -- not to say I dislike them, just that I don't know them. Originally they were part of a group called One Day, which split into two halves, 2am and 2pm. You may know of 2pm as the original performers of “My House” of Boys Planet fame. Unlike their poppy, dancey brother group, 2am is a vocal group that mostly sings ballads. 

Seulong says that he's been watching the show and knows how talented the guys are. He seems especially impressed that they can dance and rap as well as sing. VCG says, “well you can dance too,” and Seulong reminds him that 2am is a ballad group. But the MNET editors have dug up some past footage of Seolong in a real 2nd generation looking outfit, dancing uncomfortably. The judges laugh together about how bad balladeers can be at dancing, which reminds them that apparently recently VCG was seen somewhere dancing to Baggy Jeans by NCT. “I think you dance the most of anyone here,” teases Baekho, and everyone laughs.

Dahee comes out and introduces herself, and everyone claps and cheers for her. Backstage, some of the guys -- led by Woong -- do a cheer for her. 

You guys, I don’t know WHAT Dahee is wearing. I mean, I’m here for it, I’m here for whatever she does. But it appears to be a thin, long sleeved white shirt under a pink spaghetti strap corset dress with large external pockets, made out of textured fabric or jacquard. Or maybe it’s not a dress? Maybe it’s a top and a skirt combo? What are those long white things hanging down? Is she wearing only one earring? What is happening? Still here for it though. 

Everyone applauds the guest judge Seulong, and then Dahee reminds us all that this is the Triple Death Match, in case we haven’t been having nightmares about it for weeks. Dahee says, “The judges will watch both teams perform and then pick the team of three that is well built. All winners will survive and all losers will be disqualified.” This seems to be news to Solar, who gasps and says, “Ohmo!”

Allow me to theorize here: Though Dahee doesn’t say anything about this,  I think the judges will save one person from the 15 losing contestants. Otherwise, they’ll have 15 remaining guys, and then what? Have them perform as 5 groups of three, or 3 groups of five? Doesn’t make sense. But if the judges save one person, then they’d have 16, which is is four groups of four, and I think that’s ideal. So, I’m holding on to that idea for now. I guess we’ll find out. 

The judges talk about how high the stakes are, and that they’re looking for harmony among the teams. That gives them all an excuse to flatter/tease Solar about how amazing Mamamoo’s harmony is. “They even greet in harmony,” Baekho exclaims, and Solar is obviously pretty flattered. It’s cute. 

Mama, mama, moooooo…

Dahee asks the judges what they’ll be looking for.  Eunkwang says that, unlike the first two rounds when he evaluated everyone separately, this time he’s going to judge the team as a combined whole. 

Jay, Wumuti, and Hayoon, backstage, bring their fingers together to symbolize their union.

Based on how they’re dressed, I wonder if they’re going to sing Blooming Day by Exo-CBX.

Guest judge Seulong talks about how important it is for a team to really get along and sing as one entity on stage, because whenever 2am had fights with one another, it led to poor performances. This does seem to match up with what we frequently see on Produce/Planet style shows -- the team that gets along better often wins. Jaehwan adds,  “So, you guys listening in the green room, if you’re not getting along, make your amends before you come to the stage.”

Backstage, Wumuti turns to Jay and says, “We’ll just have to hide it well.” 

Ok, I know I said the guys got dressed in whatever they found on the chair by their bed, but I take it back: Jaehwan has been raiding Park Jihoo’s closet and stealing the ugly clothes he wore for the Nitro comeback. 

I will never stop being angry about the clothing in this video. I’ll be recapping Boys Planet season 53 and still complaining about this. 

Why is he wearing a leather vest and a bolo tie? I guess a better question is, what else did you expect from Jaehwan but utter chaos? 

Dahee says the death match starts… NOW! Everyone is nervous, including me! Including you!!!

The first teams up are Jeup’s team and Bain’s team. Oh no! This is the match up I’m most sad about. 

Jeup’s team comes out looking great in suits and ties. 

Jeup has a dapper three piece pinstriped suit on that looks great, and Seunghun has altered the shade of his hair a smidge, I think -- it looks much nicer. Choi Suhwan has decided for some reason not to wear a tie, and I wish he had, but they still look great overall. My guess of their song, based on their outfit, is Hey Mama by EXO-CBX. That would be a great choice, too, btw. 

Bain’s team comes out looking… I don’t know, like motorcycle cowboys. 

Bitsaeon has on a shiny leather suit with I think no shirt underneath, just a red tie. Bain’s hair is darker, which suits him better, and he has shiny pants and a short sleeved blazer with a wide lapelled white shirt and a bolo tie. Why? Why this? And Minseo is wearing shiny leather pants, a shiny leather vest, and a big cross necklace over his white shirt. Maybe they’re doing Unforgiven by Le Sserafim? Or Cowboy by f(x)? I mean obviously it’s not Cowboy by f(x). But imagine if it was. I can’t think of any other Kpop song with a slightly “country” edge besides Bad News by Kiss of Life, which they wouldn’t be doing. So my official guess is Unforgiven.

Sunyoul is like, “this feels like the semi-finals!”  

Everyone has these huge reactions to the match up, which is silly since they’ve known who would be matched up since their encounter with the Moodboard of Doom.

We head into flashback most. First, we're reminded of how well everyone did in the previous mission. Referring to the stacked matchup, Wumuti says, “We made this happen. I feel bad.” And then we get a flashback to the whole Moodboard of Doom moment, which was like, five minutes ago in this same episode. Yeah, we didn't have time to watch Lee Hwanhee sing but we did have time to watch clips of stuff we already saw, and time to watch Wumuti move things around on the Moodboard *twice*. 

Anyway, we get it, it was smart of Jay’s team to make sure that for sure one of those two teams would be eliminated. But I'm still sad about losing either of these teams. 

Neither team is happy about the match up, but they both promise to do their best, and nod at each other respectfully. 

Jeup is already nervous, because he knows how important song choice is going to be here. Strong agree! 

We get a flashback-within-a-flashback montage of Jeup’s experience so far. He was praised by judges, but not chosen as top tier. He got a standing ovation, but his team came in fifth. He’s disappointed at not doing even better than he has been. “Now I need to show something else,” he interviews, as his cheekbones shine in the stage lights cheerfully. “If not I might get eliminated.” 

He, his cheekbones, and his s w e a t e r all are extremely stressed out, but he’s thinking clearly enough to suggest a song that might work: Prayer (I’ll be Your Man) by BtoB. You might remember the song from when Stray Kids covered it on Kingdom (they swapped songs with BtoB).

Anyway, Jeup explains that it’s a risky decision to tackle Eunkwang’s song, but “in order to win, I wanted to pick one of the judges and do a face-to-face match.” I get it -- you can’t play it safe here because there is no safe. It’s win or go home. So a “nice” performance won’t do; you’ve got to shoot for the moon. I’m not a huge fan of the song -- it’s a “I’ll never let you go” kind of dealie that actually kind of sounds like IPV to me but like, I get it, it’s “romantic” because it’s in the form of a song. I’ll let you read the lyrics and decide for yourself.

Oh, Seunghun is wearing a s w e a t e r too! Nice. Suhwan, you’re dead to me. Dead! Imagine. A sweatshirt. ::grumbles::

They’re meeting in… a basement? A carpeted basement with wheely office chairs, but no table…? I feel like I’ve seen this room in my dreams. My boring, boring dreams. No, but seriously, we can tell in another scene that they’re at Suhwan’s agency, Lynna. The editors blur the name out but it’s still perfectly visible. The editors also sporadically blur out a logo on Jeup’s hat, and it makes me feel like I’m having a stroke. 

Anyway, the guys are worried about the high-speed rap section, and with good reason -- it doesn’t sound like you can leave it out of the song, and also it sounds like it would be challenging to do, partly just because it’s so fast, and partly because a lot of it is straight up in English. (Peniel, one of their members, is American and mostly just rapped in English for his entire tenure with BtoB.)  

They pretend to debate who is going to rap, even though it’s clear they already know and are just recreating this discussion for the cameras. Jeup says that his own rapping is bad -- they’d kick him off the stage. Seunghun says, as if it has just occurred to him, “Shall I try it?” He says he used to listen to the song a lot and sing along, so he already knows it, and he can practice a lot. They try it through once, and he struggles a bit, but promises to get better.

Wow, Seunghun looks great. He must be glad he got his braces off.

Seunghun vows to work really hard, because he wants to pull his weight in the team while the other two hit those high notes. We see a montage of him practicing, and he is really getting into it, to the point that he’s wearing beanies down over his eyes.

This is what a rapper looks like!

We also see him working with his CIX teammates to help improve his rapping. And it really works! 

Jeup is wearing glasses and I thought you might like to see. 

Jeup is leading the team in this endeavor, and his team is working hard. I wish they weren’t going up against my other favorite team. Sigh. 

We cut back to the performance stage. Eunkwang says he isn’t really on board with them doing the song, because he feels like it’s a bit boring without dancing.  (Here’s a live performance of BtoB doing the song, if you’re curious how it looked on stage.) The judges all seem to want them to do well.

Solar gets into the praying spirit.

The performance begins. 

Full version without reactions 

My thoughts:

They did a really good job. This isn’t a song I particularly like -- I’ve never been a fan of this kind of super-serious-rapping-over-a-ballad thing that you sometimes get in kpop (and western pop). It’s just not my thing. But I can still tell that they did really good job. 

Seunghun has really mastered the art of the soft, gruff intro notes. I don’t really speak Korean, but I trust everyone else who says his pronunciation in the rap was good, and it sounded good in terms of tone and rhythm to my untutored ears.  He strained a bit on the high notes, though, making faces that shows how hard he’s working to hit those notes, and his vocal color isn’t quite as pretty as the others. When Jeup harmonized first with him and then with Suhwan, the transition was stark -- it sounded much nicer with Suhwan. That said, he did a good job, a better job than I would have guessed. I believe that rapping is a subset of vocal skills, and that if you can rap well, you have half the skills of a good vocalist (at least), so good for Seunghun for getting this mastered. 

Suhwan was sort of the all-round guy in this performance, doing main vocals, harmonies, and a fair bit of rapping. He is so good at harmonies, I really have to give him props for that. There’s a moment when Jeup had the lead and it almost sounded like there was some sort of playback of harmonies, but no, it was just Suhwan singing more softly and sounding like a full on backup track. That isn’t easy to do. There were one or two slightly pitchy notes, but they wouldn’t have been noticeable to a casual listener, I don’t think. He also is obviously straining a tiny bit on high notes -- he hits them well, without closing his throat or anything, but I still feel like he’s hurting his voice when he hits them. That’s a minor quibble. Overall, excellent job. 

Jeup’s was the MVP here. As charming as I find his shoulders, I do sometimes not *love* his vocal color, but here it just works. He can match his tone to whoever is harmonizing, and true to his brand of Cheekbones N’ Chest Voice, he hits high notes without bothering with falsetto. He just is a vocal powerhouse. I don’t like this song much, but I think this was his best performance so far on the show. 

If this three became a vocal trio, and sang songs I *liked*, I’d certainly enjoy listening to them. 

The staging was good here, too. The suits worked, the dry ice fog worked, the background images of lightening and whatnot worked, it was all good. 

In the MNET edit, they go to a commercial right before the guys perform, so the editors obviously believed that this is compelling. 

When the guys start singing, the judges have faces that are tough to read. 

Eunkwang is definitely affected by this performance. Is he enjoying it? Not sure yet. 

Wendy is so engrossed she forgets to make a pretty face.

I mean she’s still pretty but you know what I mean.

I think Solar is engrossed? 

After one of Jeup’s effortless high notes, Solar and VCG both let out a WHOA! We also get a bunch of shots of the judges and the other contestants expressing surprised approval of Seunghun’s fast rapping.

When the guys fall to their knees, everyone reacts as if they never saw anything like this before in their lives. BtoB does the same thing in the original choreo! Sigh. Anyway.

Side note: We get this shot of some on-deck guys being surprised, and I was like, wait, who the fuck are these people?

 I only recognized Kim Seohyung at first, but then I realized that that’s Geonu on the left and Soomin on the right. I guess I really connected Soomin to his slightly frizzy/curly look and didn’t recognize him like this. I approve of the color change in Geonu’s hair, but I do wish he’d consider restyling it. He has a kind of round jaw line that makes him look a bit like Suho from Exo (that is a big compliment!) and I think he’d look better with a haircut a bit like this:

Is this just an excuse to put a picture of Suho in this unrelated recap? YOU be the judge!

I also think that Geonu could pull off the controlled mullet that Suho rocked in Hurdle. 

Are you ever just happy that Suho exists? Because I am. 

Basically Geonu needs to have his hair bigger on top to balance his rounder jaw. That’s my entirely unexpert opinion as someone whose hair is down to her mid-back at the moment because she so fears haircuts. 

Ok, back to the performance. Where was I? Oh yeah, the part where they fall to their knees. Everyone is so amazed by Seunghun’s rap that we have to have multiple instant replays. 

The judges say…

When the guys are done, Jaehwan is on his feet, while the others are just sort of quietly muttering, “Wow.” Baekho gets to his feet too, and VCG just sort of repeats, “Wow, that was so good. That was SOOO good.” Backstage, Inhyuk says that this is the first time a performance on this show gave him goosebumps. 

Backstage, poor Bain’s team is like, well, we’re screwed. 

The judges banter a bit, and tease Eunkwang that he shouldn’t even try to critique them -- he should just tell them they did a good job. Eunkwang agrees and says that he almost cried.

Dahee asks the judges for their feedback, and the trio looks anxious.

The three faces of terror. LTR: Jeup, Seunghun, Suhwan

Eunkwang goes first. The translation here is bad, so let me paraphrase as to what I think he was saying: “As I was watching, I almost cried. So thank you for doing such a great job. It’s harder to do it without choreography or anything like that, but you did great. If my group, BtoB, were to sing it like this, all stripped down and without choreography -- I don't think we could. Your youthful energy carried you through, and I found the performance refreshing.” 

Solar says, “We’ve seen many performances so far, and I liked this one the best. I think it was the most perfect performance so far. I got chills toward the end.  I have no words. It was really good.” And Baekho points out that Solar was so engrossed in the performance that she crumpled her note-taking paper without noticing.

Bain’s team backstage is like, well, we’re screwed. And BRP-unnie, watching on an airplane, is like, well, I’m screwed.

Jaehwan compliments Seunghun’s rapping, and everyone talks about what an all-rounder he is. 

VCG talks about how they can be moved even hearing lyrics in English (that they don’t understand) because of the song’s mood. Hey, man, us Western k-pop fans know that feeling well! He also compliments Jeup’s amazing high notes that he hits without using falsetto. Jeup really is an amazing singer.

Then Dahee announces the next team, whose performance we won’t see until next episode. 

They’re obviously pretty nervous after what they just saw. Bitsaeon compliments the other team but says that they came here to do their best, and that’s what they’re going to do. 

Baekho says, “This song isn’t easy, either!” Wendy says, “But I think it suits these three.”

What is the song? I still think it must be Unforgiven from the outfits… 

But we hear a tiny snippet of it before the episode ends and it’s just enough for me to identify the song as 

BAD NEWS BY KISS OF LIFE

I’m dead, I’m officially dead. I’ll have to save some of my talk about KIOF for the next post but omg I love them soooo much. 

Man, if Team Bit-bain is eliminated on Bad News, I’ll be bummed. But I’m so glad that Baekho and Wendy know the song and have an opinion about it. Kiss of Life is getting to be known! 

Ok anyway we’ll talk more about it in the next post, when one of these two amazing teams is going to be eliminated, and I have a theory as to which one and I’m already bummed about it. But that’s what we all signed up for when we decided to watch this show. 

See you in the next one! 

[o-craven-canto]

https://blog.plover.com/lang/anagram-scoring.html (Mark Dominus, 2017)

I found the best anagram in English...

A few years ago I mentioned in passing that in the 1990s I had constructed a listing of all the anagrams in Webster's Second International dictionary...This was easy to do, even at the time, when the word list itself, at 2.5 megabytes, was a file of significant size.

This article is about how I was unhappy with the results of the simple procedure above.  From the Webster's Second list, which contains about 234,000 words, it finds about 14,000 anagram sets (some with more than two words), consisting of 46,351 pairs of anagrams.  The list starts with

aal ala

and ends with

zolotink zolotnik

which exemplify the problems with this simple approach: many of the 46,351 anagrams are obvious, uninteresting or even trivial.  There must be good ones in the list, but how to find them?

I looked in the list to find the longest anagrams, but they were also disappointing:

cholecystoduodenostomy duodenocholecystostomy...

This example made clear at least one  of the problems with boring anagrams: it's not that they are too short, it's that they are too simple...

This gave me the idea to score a pair of anagrams according to how many chunks one had to be cut into in order to rearrange it to make the other one.  On this plan, the “cholecystoduodenostomy / duodenocholecystostomy” pair would score 3, just barely above the minimum possible score of 2. Something even a tiny bit more interesting, say “abler / blare” would score higher, in this case 4...

Sorted by score, there were treasures at the end, and the clear winner was

14 cinematographer megachiropteran

I declare this the single best anagram in English. It is 15 letters long, and the only letters that stay together are the E and the R. There was another 14-pointer, but both its words are Webster's Second jargon that nobody knows:

14 rotundifoliate titanofluoride...

If you are the type of person who enjoys anagrams, the list rewards casual browsing.  A few examples:

5 notaries senorita

6 yttrious touristy

7 admirer married 7 admires sidearm  

8 negativism timesaving 8 peripatetic precipitate 8 scepters respects 8 shortened threnodes 8 soapstone teaspoons  

9 earringed grenadier 9 excitation intoxicate 9 integrals triangles 9 ivoriness revisions 9 masculine calumnies  

10 coprophagist topographics 10 chuprassie haruspices 10 citronella interlocal  

11 clitoridean directional 11 dispensable piebaldness

38333 anagrams, scored

[unclefredandjohnnierutter]

#30: The Shattered Medallion

“I think the line between something existing and something waiting to be found is smudgy in your case.”

A Nancy Drew inspired playlist // listen here

↓ tracklist and more below ↓

Featuring:

Poi E - Patea Maori Club

Walkabout - The Sugarcubes

Change In The Weather - The Beths

Bridges - BROODS

Life Line - Harry Nilsson

Alien Blues - Vundabar

I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li

The Wanderer - Eden Ahbez

Oceanic Feeling - Lorde

Seasons Run - The xx

Walking Off a Cliff Again - The Mint Chicks

Survival - Muse

Hoki Mai - Aotearoa Maori Chorale

Cause a Rockslide - Badly Drawn Boy

New Constellations - Ryn Weaver

Genres include picturesque new wave, raising-the-stakes competition songs, and some music from New Zealand natives

This game is still…not my favorite, BUT I do appreciate the way it tried to incorporate previous game story lines into a kind of larger late game arc culminating in Sonny Joon but unfortunately the reality tv angle didnt really work as well as it needed to and Sonny didnt quite live up to expectations and it still feels a but muddled to me but alas. Also was this game based on a book at all? If i remember correctly the New Zealand location is a contest winner chosen location which obviously pushed the game in that direction but was it based on anything else or primarily just the lore that has been built in the rest of the series?

[tmblrvision]

A Guide to Signing Up for Tmblrvision 2023

In THREE DAYS, on Saturday, 15 July 2023, 9pm CEST, you will be able to sign up for the 2023 Tmblrvision Song Contest. In order to be able to prepare yourselves for that day, here’s a little guide so your experience goes smoothly this Saturday.

1. Read the Rules

Before you even think about signing up, make sure to read the official rules of the 2023 contest. Don’t go into sign-ups blind! You might think you have the perfect song for the perfect country, but alas, it might not even be eligible. And make sure you know what you’re getting into as a Head of Delegation. Also, this gives you the opportunity to ask questions to clarify certain things before signing up, so you don’t end up taking someone else’s spot (and country) only to drop out over a misunderstanding.

Here’s a TL;DR of some of the most important, basic rules:

Songs must have been released no earlier than July 2021 (with some exceptions mentioned in the rules)

Eurovision songs, Junior Eurovision songs, and National Final songs are not allowed

Covers of popular songs are not allowed

This year’s Eurovision artists are not allowed (with some exceptions mentioned in the rules)

Last year's Tmblrvision artists are not allowed (also with some exceptions); you can check who those artists are in the Tmblrvision wiki

2. Ireland Has Been Claimed

Last year's winning Head of Delegation has chosen Ireland as their Winner's Pick, meaning nobody else can claim it on Saturday.

3. Decide: Tumblr or Discord? And Check Your Username!

On the sign-up form, you will be asked to choose between Tumblr or Discord as the primary platform you will use. This will determine how you will be contacted regarding your participating in the contest, as well as how your song and vote submissions will be verified.

Once you’ve selected which platform you want to use, you will be asked to provide your username. Make sure it matches the platform you’ve actually given in the previous question! Your Tumblr username would be the same as the URL you use. Meanwhile, Discord has moved to a username system, so just use that one. Note that this is NOT referring to the nickname you use in the Tmblrvision server (or any other server)!

Keep in mind: If you do not provide a valid username corresponding to the platform you chose, I reserve the right to disregard or throw out your submission!

It’s also important to make sure that you can be contacted by DM regardless of which platform you choose, because that’s how I will confirm your participation in the contest. My Tumblr username is @renlerntdeutsch and my Discord username is eurenvision.

4. Lock In Your Five Choices

You will be required to choose FIVE different countries during sign-ups. This is in case your main choices have already been claimed by someone else. For example, if your first choice has been claimed, you will get your second choice. If both choices have been claimed, then you will get your third choice, and so on until you (hopefully) have a country by the fifth choice. Do not list countries that you know you won’t be interested in at all! You will just be potentially taking that country from someone who might actually have a song or even a national final prepared for it. Remember, unless it’s a one-to-one swap, you won’t be able to replace the country you got… but you’d have known that already if you read the rules.

A few things to keep in mind:

If you want to represent Canada, Chile, or New Zealand, you will have to select Special Guest Country

If you’d like to select an artist from Belarus, then you will have to select Independent Belarusian Artists

If you’d like to select an artist from Russia, then you will have to select Independent Russian Artists

On the form, Czech Republic is listed as Czechia, Türkiye is listed as Turkey, and the Netherlands is simply listed as Netherlands

As mentioned above, you will not be able to select an artist from Ireland

The lists are alphabetized, so it should be easy to find which countries you’re searching for. You can also type in the first few letters, if that makes it easier for you.

5. Decide If You Want To Participate At All If All Your Five Choices Are Already Taken

Unfortunately, it is possible that all five of your choices will no longer be available as they have been claimed by others who submitted their form ahead of you. You have to let me know if you would like to be contacted via the platform you selected if you’d still like to participate. If you pick Yes, then you will receive a message asking which country you’d like to claim. If you pick No, then I will assume that you are no longer interested in participating and will not be contacted further.

6. On Saturday: Check Tumblr (or tmblrvision.com) and NOT Discord!

While we do have a Discord server for the contest, the link to the sign-up form will first go up (via a scheduled post) on Tumblr (or tmblrvision.com), NOT on Discord. That said, Tumblr isn’t always great at posting scheduled posts at the right time, so the sign-up link may go up a little later than 2100 CEST, but regardless, it will be up on Tumblr before it is posted on Discord.

7. Read the Information Text NOW, Not on Saturday

There will be some text at the top of the sign-up sheet; I have posted that text here. You don’t really need to read it at all, so I’m saving you some time by letting you read it now. (I don’t even know why it’s there. Maybe in case someone accidentally opens that link without knowing what it is.)

Note that the form may show you which e-mail account you are currently logged into, if you use Gmail or the Google suite of apps. Don’t worry, this will NOT be saved and I will NOT be able to see it!

8. Country Confirmations WILL Be Delayed

Note that country confirmations will NOT go out quickly this year. Don't expect a message within an hour or so of signing up. In fact, expect a delay of at least three or four hours, though twelve hours is more realistic. Hope y'all understand!

Remember:

TMBLRVISION 2023 SIGN-UPS ARE ON SATURDAY, 15 JULY 2023, 9PM CEST! GOOD LUCK!

[digitalmarketingacademyinraipur]

6 Common Google Search Console Mistakes to Avoid, as Taught at Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur

Importance of Google Search Console: Introduction

Google Search Console, short for GSC, is an excellent tool for anyone looking forward to becoming a winner in SEO and digital marketing. This tool gives excellent insights into how well a website has been performing on Google. From search traffic to indexing issues, site health, and much more, this information is also collected through it. However, the best of tools may be misused, and GSC is not an exception. Many mistakes by beginners can go wrong in the form of misinterpreted data, missed opportunities, and even wrong SEO impacts. For any digital marketer in a Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur, this is very important to become a good practitioner.

In this article, we will discuss six common mistakes that users make with Google Search Console and how to prevent them. Being aware of these errors, students will be able to maximize the data they are getting from GSC to improve site performance and presence. Each point is taken from the best practice taught in a Digital Marketing Course in Raipur, ensuring that a student leaves with knowledge of effective use of GSC.

1. Ignoring the Index Coverage Report

The Index Coverage report is one of the best tools in Google Search Console. It provides very detailed insights into the status of indexing on pages on your site to help identify errors that have cropped up in their appearance when you consider that they might not have appeared in search results. Alas, many beginners tend to ignore this report, and probably serious indexing issues tend to go unnoticed which can have an impact on search visibility.

Why the Index Coverage Report Matters

Index Coverage report shows the status of all the URL's on a website, categorized under the following:

Error: Pages that cannot be indexed because of a specific set of problems.

Valid with Warnings: Pages indexed, but there could be errors that can cause a major impact on performance.

Valid: Pages got indexed correctly.

Excluded: Pages that Google did not index.

Common Errors with the Index Coverage Report

Students often fail to check for errors and warnings that will prohibit pages from being indexed. Content meaningful to your site goes unprotected because some pages weren't indexed since problems were ignored.

Best Practices with the Index Coverage Report

At the Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur, students would often analyze the Index Coverage report and respond very promptly to any errors. The server errors, "soft" 404s, 404 errors, and "noindex" directives enable students to correct these issues, thus improving the indexing health of their sites manifold, thereby boosting the prospects of ranking in search results.

2. Misinterpretation of Search Performance Data

The Google Search Console's Performance report has critical data on every page, including clicks, impressions, CTR, and average position. While it is a very important source of data, most beginners misunderstand the information, therefore leading to misguided SEO strategies.

Understanding Key Metrics: Clicks, Impressions, CTR, and Average Position

Each metric gives out different insights:

Clicks: This statistic shows how many times users clicked on a website link from the search results.

Impression: How often a URL occurred in the search results.

Click-Through Rate (CTR): What % of the impressions were clicked up until now. This is a measure of how frequently and how attractive the listing is to users.

Average Position: Where a URL ranked on Google. Lower numbers mean you rank higher.

Common Misinterpretations

A big mistake would be to look only at clicks without taking into account CTR and impressions. Low CTR despite impression counts might indicate that title or meta description is not compelling enough to drive clicks. Additionally, high average position doesn't mean that page is bringing traffic, especially in cases of low-volume keywords.

Best Practices for Performance Data

Under a Digital Marketing Course in Raipur, the students will be trained to analyze all the metrics together. In this, they are taught to count CTR along with impressions to understand whether titles and descriptions are quite effective or not, review keywords with a high number of impressions but lower CTR and make all the necessary changes there.

3. Failure to Present Sitemap

A sitemap proves to be crucial so that these bots know their way around the structure of the site, making it easy for them to reach every page and index it. Interestingly enough, most beginners forget to submit a sitemap in GSC. This often means missed opportunities to index.

Why Is a Sitemap Important for SEO?

A sitemap is basically a blueprint of the website and thus facilitates Google in finding new as well as updated content more easily. On big sites, a lack of sitemap may cause Google to overlook certain pages, thereby there will be holes in indexing.

Mistakes with sitemaps

Some common mistakes are made like:

Not submitting a sitemap at all: Without a sitemap, pages may remain undiscovered by Google.

Dead sitemap submission: If the existing sitemap is not representative of the current site architecture then the Google crawler may miss and overlook new content.

Multiple or broken sitemaps: Multiple or broken sitemaps may confuse the crawlers.

Best Practices for Sitemaps

At a Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur, it is taught to students to update the sitemap error-free and submit it through GSC and also frequently check for its errors. When an updated sitemap ensures that all the important pages of your website are indexed, hence, your SEO performance will improve.

4. Not Checking Mobile Usability Issues

With more users accessing websites on their mobile phones than ever before, mobile usability has become the most significant ranking factor. While GSC's report on Mobile Usability identifies specific issues that affect the friendliness of a site, most beginners miss these reports and resulting poor user experiences and worsened rankings.

Why Mobile Usability Matters

A mobile-preferred site will crawl normally, but problems such as text way too small to read, clickable elements too close together, and content that doesn't fit within the screen will make it far from friendly to the user. Such issues might generate a higher level of bounce rates and ranking loss, particularly while searching on mobile.

Common Errors in Mobile Usability Optimization

Some mistakes come in the forms of:

Not reading through Mobile Usability report: This indicates persistent issues are unaddressed regarding the mobile end.

Testing changes on mobiles: Failure to test for the mobile layouts can result in changes made on the desktop failing to play well on the mobile.

Failure to use responsive design: Failure to respond to a site can lead to issues with multiple sizes of screens

Best Practice- Mobile Usability

Students in the Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur are taught to give importance to mobile usability and also habituated to checking the Mobile Usability report continuously in GSC. The issues identified are then worked on and fixed, which ensures a smooth experience on the mobile - an essential means of maintaining good rankings and keeping the users hooked on mobile.

5. Not Monitoring and Fixing Core Web Vitals

CWV is a term used by Google to describe the metrics that determine the user experience on a website, such as load speed, interactivity, and visual stability. A large percentage of beginners miss the opportunities of improving their page experience and rankings due to not knowing the CWV.

Core Web Vitals Metrics Overview

CWV consists of the following principal metrics:

Largest Contentful Paint (LCP): This metric measures load speed, which is time taken in loading the largest content element.

First Input Delay (FID): Interactivity score; time to load page to render interactive.

CLS: Cumulative Layout Shift, visual stability score; quantity of unexpected layout shift during page load

Common Mistakes of Core Web Vitals

That is why user experiences tend to be pretty bad among beginners: ignore or not fix CWV data in GSC. Common mistakes are not optimizing images, failing to use browser caching, and forgetting to minimize CSS and JavaScript which delay loads.

Best Practices of Core Web Vitals

Students at the Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur are also motivated to deal with CWV metrics through site speed optimization, reduction of layout shifts, and improvement of interactivity. This is because such an optimization will not only make the user's experience better but also aligns with Google's page experience ranking signals.

6. Misuse of the URL Inspection Tool

The GSC offers the URL Inspection tool to assist users in checking the status of a page, including its indexation, last crawl date, and errors that may cause it not to appear in the SERPs. Many novices use it wrongly, and some do not fully utilize all the features.

Misuse of the URL Inspection Tool

Some frequent mistakes include:

Not checking new pages with the tool after publication: You must check the indexing status of your newly published page.

Not ensuring errors flagged by the tool: In "Page not found" and "Blocked by robots.txt," you should address those issues right away

Not submitting to index pages after some significant update to their content: With big content changes, a good practice is to use the URL Inspection tool to almost instantly request pages to be indexed again.

Best Practices on Using the URL Inspection Tool

The students of Digital Marketing Institute in Raipur are taught to use the URL Inspection tool to check if all their important pages are properly indexed. Verifying whether pages are correctly indexed and resolving flagged issues allows content to be visible in the search results, hence enabling more reach-effective and effective.

Conclusion

Google Search Console is a very valuable tool for any serious SEO. They avoid common mistakes, such as ignoring the Index Coverage report, misinterpreting performance data, failing to submit a sitemap, overlooking mobile usability, not addressing Core Web Vitals, and misusing the URL Inspection tool, so students will be able to gain maximum profit from GSC and increase search visibility and user experience. Students under the Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur learn the best method of getting a proper utilization of GSC, which further helps them improve their SEO performance.

VIDA by Vaya Media is the Digital Marketing Academy in Raipur that trains students to master tools like Google Search Console and will help them all succeed in their digital marketing careers.

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Personally, I want to see range voting / score voting (e.g. score each candidate from 0 to 5, highest average score wins) over any ranked-choice system, since it has no corner cases where you have to strategically vote "against" your interests in order to (paradoxically) fulfill them best.(*) But the problems with ranked-choice don't appear until there are 4 or more viable choices, so even IRV and other ranked-choice systems are still much, much better than what we have in the US.

(*) Score voting still suffers from "compression", i.e. treating the worst front-runner as the worst score and the best front-runner as the best score, leaving you no room to score long-shot choices lower or higher than any front-runner choice.

Also, the Electoral College system (mandated by the US federal constitution) famously sucks, yet it also gives each state the latitude to decide how those Electoral College votes are cast, including the power to switch to non-FPTP & non-winner-take-all systems on a state-by-state basis.

(Heck, we already have two states that do the latter: Maine and Nebraska. Alas, both are so tiny as to be inconsequential. Maybe someday it'll happen more broadly... but right now, there's a multi-state pact trying to convince everyone to assign EC electors according to the national popular vote, which would probably foreclose on alternatives gaining popularity for a few generations if the pact were to activate, so I'm not optimistic.)

Also also, the President still has way, way too much power to put in the hands of one person, even with all the so-called "checks and balances" that theoretically exist. Yeah, sure, sometimes you get a "good" President who issues a bunch of Executive Orders by fiat to bypass a deadlocked legislature, but then the next one can (kinda sorta, oversimplifying a bit) just undo it by fiat, since EOs don't have the durability of law... and, as we've seen frequently in my lifetime, Presidents have all sorts of power to unilaterally fuck up international relationships by e.g. breaking the law and saying "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?". After all, the President's most important domestic role is to decide how the legislature's laws are enforced. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

You’re seriously still blaming Trump on “Bernie Bros”? Time for democrats to start taking responsibility for putting up shitty candidates and deflecting blame toward everyone else, for once

Trump was elected by a very narrow margin. And there was a ton of polling and data crunching and statistical modeling going on during and after the election, so we actually know what the factors that tipped the needle Trump's direction are.

One of the biggies is Bernie Bros. If every leftist who loved Bernie and disliked Hilary because she wasn't perfect enough had held their nose and voted for Hilary, Trump would have lost. They're not the only demographic that's true of; there are a number of others who, if they had turned out in force, would have turned the tide of the election. For example, if a higher percentage of Black women had voted, Trump would also have lost. You know what the difference is between your average Bernie Bro and your average Black woman? Your average Bernie Bro is white and thus a hell of a lot less likely to have his vote suppressed. He is a hell of a lot more likely to find it easy to vote. This is not me saying this because I don't like them, or because I think Hillary was a perfect candidate. This is me saying that when you look at the actual numbers, leftist ideologues who refused to vote for a candidate who was not their perfect choice was one of the main reasons Trump got four years in the White House.

In general, regardless of the candidates involved, if 55% of American adults vote in a national election, the Republican wins in a landslide. If 60% of American adults vote, the Republican wins by a bare margin. If 65% of American adults vote, the Democrat wins by a bare margin. If 70% of American adults vote, the Democrat wins by a landslide. If 75% of American adults voted--and voted regularly in every election--the Republican party would cease to be a significant force in American politics.

This has been known for decades. Republicans will show up and vote no matter what; a very high percentage of Democrats and left-leaning voters will only show up if the candidate in question is perfectly in line with their views. That's why we have a Congress that is dominated by Republicans despite most of the country not liking them, and that's why we have most of the political problems that they do. By waiting for a political candidate who is good enough, you are directly ceding power to the people who are making the world worse.

Elections are decided by the people who show up. If you do not show up to vote, your vote does not get counted. If politicians want to get re-elected, they have to listen to the people who will vote for them. If they try to listen to the people who don't regularly vote, they are far more likely to lose re-election than if they listen to the people who show up every election. And conservatives show up every election. If liberals and leftists changed our voting habits and voted in every single election--voted for the furthest left candidate in the primary, and whoever got the Democratic nomination in the general election--we would prove ourselves to be a voting bloc worth listening to and the party would move left in response.

You want a candidate who perfectly fits your vision and ideals for what America should be? That doesn't happen in a vacuum. That takes work, and the most basic level of that work is showing up to vote now and every time there's an election to vote in.