#akatsuki tsunade au

[evilkitten3]

Mutual, I'm lowkey obsessing over your tags about akatsuki Tsunade, can you elaborate more the basic timeline? Like how this would affect Tsunade's arc in classic and such

tbh i hadn't really thought about it lol

but.... let's say it happens during the search for tsunade arc? orochimaru and jiraiya are both gunning to get her on their side but you know what? the shark man said please. get your shit shizune we're going with these guys if you poison the little red-eyed shit on the way no judgement (kisame: maybe don't though?)

jiraiya is pissed, orochimaru is torn between being amused bc wow and being in agonizing pain bc his arms still don't work, naruto keeps trying to get her to come heal lee (and now sasuke) but she's having none of it so she just throws a file of miscellaneous notes at his head and tells him "find someone with good chakra control and pray" (sakura: omg i have good chakra control!!!!)

weirdly the member of team seven affected most by this is sasuke bc sakura has absolutely no fucking clue what she's doing at first and it takes her like an extra month to wake him up, so he needs to get back on his feet before he can decide if he wants to run off to orochimaru or not. lee is.... kinda sol, frankly. sakura works really really hard to help him out, and she's eventually able to get him to a place where he can do a few things, but by the time she's good enough to really be able to help him it's way too late. fortunately he's adapted somewhat, and being lee he's surpassed what anyone thought he'd be able to, but he's never going to be what he could've been. gaara feels terrible about this ofc but lee isn't the sort to really hold a grudge, even if pretty much everyone agrees he'd be perfectly justified in doing so. gai never forgives tsunade, though, not really.

concerning tsunade's role in the akatsuki.... the thing is, it's her own grandparents who started the whole jinchuuriki mess. and she's seen with her own two eyes what konoha did to places like amegakure; she was part of it. she doesn't like that the jinchuuriki die post extraction, so she starts looking into how to make that not happen, but if she does succeed, it isn't until after the gaara debacle, so chiyo still dies. her biggest motivation here is naruto - she doesn't agree with him, but he reminds her of nawaki, so she really doesn't want him to die if at all avoidable. she doesn't get too involved in the actual jinchuuriki capturing process tho; she's more useful patching people up after.

having said that, she doesn't fully agree with pain and konan's plan, she just can't really think of anything better. tobi tells sasuke about itachi while tsunade is patching him up, and since it's her family that led to this, she's pretty on-board with the whole "fuck this stupid baka village" thing (ofc she's been heading down that path since joining the akatsuki, so this isn't like canon!tsunade suddenly making this call; there's a couple years of character development first), so.... she's effectively on team sasuke at this point, and once he splits from the akatsuki she does as well.

iirc, post danzou, sasuke spent about eight and a half volumes just kinda adjusting mostly offscreen to his recent ert (eyeball replacement therapy), before skewering og white zetsu and fucking off to go accidentally reunite with zombitachi, but aside from decking itachi through a few trees on sight, idk how much about all that would change. immediately after, when sasuke brings back orochimaru, they have an awkward reunion, followed by yet another awkward reunion when orochimaru brings back the four dead hokage. she's both very happy to see her granddad again, but it's hard for her to tell him (and hiruzen, for that matter) that she deserted the village completely, even if she doesn't regret her decision.

now you may be wondering: weren't shizune and tonton also around? yes! but when sasuke went after danzou, they stayed behind, leading to shizune finding and managing to save konan after tobito killed her. there's a potential romance subplot there as well but i accidentally ruined it for myself by saying aloud "two girls one pig" and then regretting my whole life.

the other survival is jiraiya; he becomes hokage instead since it's either one of the sannin or one of the elders, and as much as he doesn't want the job, he really doesn't want them to have it. this in part means he can't go spying in ame himself, although he very nearly does after orochimaru's death gets reported, but instead he sends someone else. that person dies, but manages to get the information back to him (it has to be someone important to naruto, and it can't be kakashi, so maybe iruka? but idk how he'd be in espionage. maybe one of naruto's classmates did spy training offscreen? it's entirely possible with jiraiya as hokage instead of tsunade but idk). since jiraiya isn't a healer, he'd either need to be injured badly enough for danzou to be able to step in without him being able to object, or sasuke would just need to have his fight with danzou somewhere else (so the raikage's arm might survive also).

the final thing is that, unlike in canon, this version of tsunade never got naruto therapy'd, so while she does eventually get over the hemophilia somehow (maybe just existing in the relative vicinity of hidan did the trick), she never really dealt with the grief that caused her to leave konoha in the first place, so that's still very much there. however, i think maybe this could work to the story's advantage - instead of just naruto vs sasuke, it could be naruto and sakura vs sasuke and tsunade. tho in this instance sasuke really isn't alone, and isn't really trying to be by that point. it's more a battle of "do we try to fix the system from within, or do we really need to start from scratch for things to improve in any meaningful way", but ultimately the winner is the realization that four people from konoha not only shouldn't but honestly can't be the only ones making this call. if the world is going to move forward, it can't be dragged by a single person, or even two people. it's gotta be a group effort. idk if the story should go into the details of what they decide on, bc i'm definitely not politically savvy enough for something like that, or just have an open ending leaving whatever happens next up to interpretation.

(sorry this took so long lol i kept having to do things XD)

[rose-lalondde]

naruto but it's my modern fantasy world au

[historias-multorum]

@thetoaddaddy liked for a starter!

"It's not safe for you to be here." Tsunade greeted her former teammate. "You should go back the way you came or find another way to where ever you're going. The Akatsuki will not take too kindly to unwanted guests in their territory." She warned.

[mugiwara-lucy]

Honestly this is a plot hole that ALWAYS fuckin’ bugged me!

Naruto…..but if he was raised by the frogs/toads instead.🐸🍄

This AU has been stuck in my head for the longest time bc…….why couldn’t Naruto just have been taken out of the village completely since those mfs hate him anyways, and be raised by Jiraiya instead??!?! Though Jiraiya is sort of a deadbeat in this and just leaves Naruto with his toads and makes them raise him instead💀💀

Of course Jiraiya is his godfather in this and Tsunade is his godmother. Jiraiya has to keep Naruto after the whole sealing Kurama thing and Tusnade avoids responsibility for him by going off to missions and cutting contact(until she is forced to come back and be Hokage). The toads decide it’s time to return Naruto to be among people like him that can actually help him navigate being human, and in doing so he arrives unannounced in the leaf village where Tsunade is surprised to hear that Jiraiya just up and left him and she ends up pissed bc Naruto literally knows nothing about anything. He’s like a mysterious visitor when he arrives.

Was thinking of having Naruto be nonverbal in this but that wouldn’t really make sense since the Toads can actually speak lmao, but he is a bit illiterate since the toads don’t really have resources to teach Naruto how to read or write anything that they don’t already know(plus webbed feet/hands). Sasuke never went rouge in this so he’s just a lil goober and is Lee’s sparring partner, the two are on par with each other’s skill and often practice together. That is, until Naruto shows up to the Leaf village oop.

Also Kakashi and Iruka partially raised Sasuke since his brother still leaves him in this. The two (K&I)have to teach Naruto how to be a ninja. Sakura is more combative in this, she’s also the first girl Naruto sees around his age(until he sees the rest of the girls). Everyone talks about Naruto behind his back bc of his more carefree and animalistic nature until they find out that he’s Tsunade’s Godson. He is later given his family crest and inducted into the village with that status and he learns about his family history while everyone suddenly grows interest in him and Sasuke not being the only member left of a clan anymore. [Maybe the two are instated as the heads of their own clans later on and get to participate in decision making for the village that way but idk about that detail yet.]

Other than that I love Naruto with frogs/toads🥲💖🤲🏽

[hellcifrogs]

Students' Students AU

<-Part 5 / What the rest of the kids have been up to while Naruto is away:

Team 7, now with Sai, take the chunin exams again and pass. Kakashi still has priority when taking them on missions. They learn to work together more and more, Sasuke learns how to use chidori and even develops his sharingan more (also imagine him and Anko practicing with their cursed seal forms on). Shizune moves from healing to poisons and herbs, and once satisfied with Sakura's skills on chakra control and manipulations, Tsunade starts giving her taijutsu focused lessons. Sai, as always, was put on the team to watch over Sasuke and try to find out Naruto's whereabouts.

From Team 8, only Shino becomes chunin, Kiba of course is frustrated, but the one in worst position is Hinata - since Neji takes the exam (and passes) with Team 10, in Shikamaru's place - because she failed once again while, not only the other genin her age, but also both Neji and Hanabi continue to improve, Hinata is officially demoted from her position in the main family branch.

Lee and Tenten don't take this exam, they choose to go on missions with Gai and Chouza (more students' students - maybe also Genma and Ebisu) to investigate rumors and sightings of Akatsuki/Orochimaru activity, while also secretly relaying info between Tsunade and Jiraiya/Konoha and Ame.

Neji, Shino and Ino go on to work as chunin along with Shikamaru, however Chouji finally decides that fighting and being a ninja is not the way for him. He then goes back to Iruka, who was always understanding and patient for help.

The Akimichi are one of the main combat clans of the village so having such an important member simply turn away from the shinobi life should cause great surprise and displeasure. Luckly, Chouza, who was already a very understanding father, had the time to hear from the new generation (Lee and Tenten) their thoughts and prespectives, as well as seeing his own student be such a great master himself. And so, when Chouji tells him he wanted to become a teacher instead of a ninja, he could only be proud and encourage him on this path.

Shippuden Konoha 12 (will add link later)

[oh-no-its-bird]

World's worst, most messy naruto time travel au EVER. Where a bunch of people from slightly different dimensions try to time travel to fix their bad endings.

But they all got dumped into their alternate bodies of the past of another slightly different dimension. And they all keep tripping over eachother.

So like. You have Sakura (from the dimension where there was no Kaguya/black zetsu, and Madara + Obito are the final villains)

Tripping over ANBU Sasuke (from a no Uchiha massacre/less bad Uchiha massacre universe where he never left the village and is filled to the brim with the will of fire)

Running into Naruto (from one of those evil konoha universes where the abuse aimed towards him was 100 times worse) who is absoloutley tweaking out in the corner, unsure and unable to comprehend what is (from his perspective) such a good world

Then theyre getting fucking tackled by Obito (from a roll swap dimension where he was team 7's sensei and Kakashi took his place in Akatsuki)

Meanwhile Kakashi from the 'team ro defects from Konoha' au is suddenly a jonin again and debating the merits of just sabotaging Konoha from the inside out

Then you also have Kurama, the only one of them to have gotten their own own new body instead of being dumped into the body of their alt version there (coming from a canon-similar world where Naruto sacrifices himself to give Kurama a body and send him back in time, a-la on the other side, by WideEyedDemon)

While in the distance, Gaara (from a dimension where Suna won the fight against Konoha and team 7 went on the run after the leaf was destroyed) tries to very hard to sabotage the attack he believes will prevail, in order to fulfill his promise to team 7 from that other universe bc they got to be friends

But he's being blocked around every corner by Kankuro and Temari, who came back together from a universe where Gaara was straight up an irredeemable monster who destroyed all of Suna

But also fucking semi-canon accurate housewife Orochimaru from Boruto is like. Around. Just absoloutley fucking it up in his milf era, giving no shits whatsoever. The alien tree people or whatever the hell is going on in boruto ate his world so he has his eyes on the sky.

^ so like. All of that and it just keeps going. U can throw in whoever from wherever, these are just starting points

(The only rule is Jiriya and Tsunade aren't time travelers bc I want them to see milf Orochimaru and scream in terror)

And the whole thing is that very few of them actually share the same bad end, and it's very unclear what the true bad ending of their current world is— bc to be clear, the dimension they ended up does not line up 100% with any one of the newcomers.

(Their current dimension is actually just canon, to be clear. Or at least incredibly canon-ish)

So they're just fucking tripping over eachother right and left, trying to prevent things that may or may not happen (bc some of their bad ends ARE still possible!!)

The inter character relationships would go so insane too. Bc like all of team 7 has been shaken to its core, pretty much.

Naruto wants to burn Konoha to the ground and Sasuke thinks it is hashtag worth fighting for.

Sakura is dealing from the whiplash of ehats basically a sasuke/naruto roleswap, and also thinks Obito is the irredeemable root of all evil.

Meanwhile, Obito is crying bc his kids don't recognize him

Obito, seeing his students so changed and then noting that Kakashi is so chill, gets his hopes up that maybe this is a loyal Konoha Kakashi...

But NOPE he's not, he's fully checked out of Konoha and has attachments to like. Team ro + Sasuke.

Tho he'd also be super fucked up to see Obito too, it must be said

Then Kakashi originally defected from Konoha in his universe bc Orochimaru told him ab the "truth" of his fathers suicide (and then he walked in on Danzo trying to kill Shisui lmao) And actually did join Orochimaru in sound afterwords, so.

Kakashi is rocking up to sound trying to confirm if shits similar in this universe and Orochimaru is going "a free copy cat Kakashi?? Don't mind if I do <3" and offering him a room there (which he might just accept)

Kakashi spying for Orochimaru....

The sand sibs are also having THE worst time ever. Gaara is trying so hard to be good and show he's changed but Temari and Kankuro are even more convinced of his irredeemable evil soul or whatever than they were in canon. They saw him rip Suna apart !!!

Gaara is also SO stressed about the chunin exam attack (fast approaching) bc hes convinced it will prevail and his future friends will be rendered homeless and hunted for sport again

Meanwhile also: Orochimaru totally fucking forgot about that and isn't. Actually interested anymore. So.

I have more thoughts but, like usual, I fucking clicked post too soon (these last bits are edits, oops) so I'll leave it here for now before someone reblogs the incomplete version

[rayshippouuchiha]

i was rereading the team uzumaki au tag and i saw that the gremlins massively underestimate how strong they are because theyre comparing themselves to Naruto. it would be incredibly funny if naruto does the same thing, he's little more aware of it because he knows not everyone has a bijuu tenant but everyone he knows is like Kakashi or tsunade and he keeps fighting akatsuki, orochimaru, sasuke, meaning he has the same problem. "Must get stronger!"

Oh I like that too. Naruto knows he's strong, Kurama and the foxes tell him that, but there's this disconnect in his head where he feels as if he's still behind somehow.

[rkaln]

• akatsuki!Lee propaganda

txt

> gaara really feels guilty. in general, it looks like Lee literally found himself in the position that Gaara has always been in, and which he is trying so hard to fix. so a one-time dialogue with an apology should end with an unspoken

"you can come if necessary, and you will be accepted/ not handed over"

> So over time it becomes a safe space and a place where one might not be "akatsuki given that, definitely, over time, Lee may have thought that he would like to return home, but understanding how impossible it is now does not give reason to consider such an option

***

a little offtop, but DO YOU REMEMBER THIS FILLER? I know that filler is not canon, but it fits so well into this AU. because my reasoning boiled down to the fact that orochimaru perfectly manipulates emotions and, in fact, there were no guarantees that Tsunade would have been found at all, but Guy? if before the filler, I put it into the fact that Lee could reason that he would prove to him that it was the right decision. And she will only show herself to him when she can prove it. then AFTER this filler, I consider it one of the main triggers for making a decision.

(ok, no one will deny that Lee is very emotional, and in fact there are enough moments in the canon when it acquires an aggressively dark character, but a really difficult emotional state also plays a role here, and if to a huge offense towards Sasuke and doubts about the life position that "really everything can be done with the help of your own work." ADD THIS MOMENT FROM THE FILLER TO IT?? moreover, he is still, you know, a teenager)

s o, this is one of the reasons why I don't consider that he would return to Guy. if at first it was anger and resentment, then with time and the realization of some other things, it would just come down to shame and guilt.

***

> so Gaara and Lee have much more understanding of each other in this AU at the level of life experience.

So even taking into account the fact that they had no interaction here except for the arch of the exam (because the arch with Sasuke's persecution is already superimposed on the time when Lee left), gaara would still be ready to provide unconditional acceptance to him, because he knows that if you do shitty things and everyone around sees only this, matching something else is too difficult

-> running into the "safe space" becomes something quite stable over time

> what about sex? here it is for me the same "slowburn, but they fuck regularly"

AU, in which I believe that sex appeared before "relationships" because:

- no one ever knows if there will be a next meeting at all, because this is not the case when you will receive a letter telling you what happened

- it is also a more "simple" way of interaction, where you do not need to put everything into words or think about social norms

as part of the speech about rough sex, here is a little more detail.

The longer Lee stays in Akatsuki, the more he returns to the fact that, according to his worldview, he is still a bad person.

There was no such dialogue between them, so sooner or later Gaara must turn away from him too.

"he just didn't understand."

"he hasn't seen what kind of person I am yet."

"I don't deserve to be accepted and treated like this."

... and Gaara's absolute indifference to these facts even starts to anger to some extent.

"he just doesn't believe in what I can be."

(actually, it's funny separately, because generally remembering that they are ninjas in the canon, is it that "I will become the strongest ninja who cannot use chakra" actually sounds like "I will be the best at killing on my own," you know)

so one day it will come to Lee's attempts to cross the line, to grope for the boundary of this acceptance. (so sex is involved in this too) "now he'll understand and push me away" "after that he won't be able to accept me"

It's clear that this is pretty stupid considering Gaara's experience.

of course, it doesn't work. more precisely, it works as a confirmation that there were no borders there.

so rough sex is also a separate tool of interaction, in which Lee can be convinced of acceptance, not to mention some other things like personal emotions, feelings of possession, etc., and for Gaara, it's just something in which he (FINALLY) can not be responsible for his actions. (here I'm talking about the fact that Gaara's whole life is surrounded by responsibility for others, and responsibility for what you did in the past), not to mention some other things like personal emotions etc lol

[themidnightguardian]

Day 1: Panic Attack & Race Against the Clock -- Kakashi (ft. Team 7)

gen | AU of the hospital rooftop fight | Warnings: panic attacks, hints of PTSD, referenced childhood trauma, referenced child deaths, canon-typical violence, Kakashi's guilt complex, brief suicide idealization (specifically with Kakashi feeling he can only be redeemed in dying)

Whumptober 2024 Masterlist

---

Kakashi knew something was wrong by the increasingly familiar trickle of dread down his spine that he had come to associate with his students’ lives being in danger. It wasn’t anything tangible, nothing he had proof of. It was just a gut feeling, but nothing good had ever come of ignoring his instincts.

(He might have managed to save Obito if he’d learned to listen sooner. Might have been able to stop Itachi from slaughtering his clan. Might have fought harder to keep Naruto from going to an orphanage, instead of into Kakashi’s care, like Minato-sensei would have wanted.)

Instinctively, he changed his course from the Memorial Stone back towards the hospital. He’d just been discharged half an hour ago, and he’d left Naruto and Sakura at Sasuke’s bedside where he was still recovering from Tsukuyomi. He’d thought they’d be safe there.

Had something gone wrong medically? It wasn’t like Tsunade to make mistakes, and besides, Sasuke seemed fine when Kakashi left, if grumpier than usual.

What if Orochimaru is making another play for the sharingan? he thought, picking up the pace. His own chakra reserves were still drained from his last fight with Itachi and the weeks he’d spent in a coma, but he pushed himself faster, using shunshin to cross rooftops in the span of seconds. What if the Akatsuki have sent someone else to collect the kyuubi?

Another twenty seconds—so slow, too slow, why couldn’t he move faster—and the hospital was finally in view. The hospital, which had a lumpy mass of orange on its roof.

Naruto’s shadow clones. Fuck.

Faster. His gut had been right; there was a problem. Some kind of fight was happening on the hospital rooftop, and Naruto was involved. And if Naruto was involved, then Sasuke would have followed him, too determined to not get left behind. And if Sasuke had gone, then Sakura would be there, and if they were facing down an S-rank nin—hell, even an A-rank or B-rank nin—then they were all going to get wiped out.

Kakashi refused to let that happen. He’d made a promise to himself when Sarutobi made him take on Team 7 that he wouldn’t fail them the same way he’d failed his own genin teammates. That he would do anything to keep them alive.

(It was a promise he couldn’t hope to keep, not in the world they lived in. But he knew if he lost any of the kids, it would destroy him in a way none of the other deaths of his precious people had managed. His father’s death had been crushing. Obito’s had ripped him in half. Rin’s had shattered him into a million pieces, and Minato’s had left him a shell of a person.

But if Naruto or Sasuke or Sakura died, Kakashi didn’t think he had any pieces of himself left to lose to grief.

If the kids died, Kakashi was certain he would follow them one way or another.)

He was one building away when the clones dispersed rapidly, and the crackling chirp of chidori filled the air. He launched himself forward. If Sasuke needed to pull out an attack of that caliber, then they were in danger, they needed him, they—

Kakashi landed on the edge of the hospital rooftop, momentarily frozen in place.

On one end of the roof, Sasuke ran forward, chidori a bright burst of lightning in his palm. On the other end, Naruto, racing towards him, arm outstretched with a swirling rasengan.

Aimed at each other.

And Rin Sakura—always forced to play peacemaker between the boys—was trying to step between. As if she could stop them. As if they might stop for her.

(Brown hair. Purple marks on her cheeks. A smile. Blood on his hand, warm and wet. Blood, spilling from her mouth. Dead. Dead, dead, dead.

Everyone was always dying, and it was always his fault.)

He was moving before the image in his head fully faded. He was faster than Sakura, faster than Naruto or Sasuke. Faster and stronger, and he would stop them, he had to, he had to—

It was easy. They were inexperienced, and they were too focused on each other to see him coming. He wrapped his hands around their wrists, wrenched them apart just as Sakura went stumbling past.

(Too close. Too close. Too close.)

The rooftop fell silent, but Kakashi could hear his own heartbeat thundering in his ears, smelled the lingering singe of lightning, and he suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t—his lungs wouldn’t work, too heavy, weighed down, like they were being crushed, crushed like Obito—

Black creeped in at the edge of his vision, and suddenly the heaviness in his lungs felt less like crushing and more like stabbing, like they’d been torn through, like Rin—

(God, like Rin, when Kakashi killed her.

He killed her.

He killed her. He killed her. He killed her.)

“Ka—”

He tried to breathe in, but it didn’t work, or maybe it did but it didn’t matter, and the dark creeped closer anyway, and maybe that was what he deserved. Yes. It was what he deserved, and when he died, maybe then Rin and Obito could forgive him. When he died, maybe that would be enough.

“Kakashi—”

It would never be enough, but it would be a start. And he was dying—he had to be dying, because he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t see past the darkness, and everything was heavy, and his body must finally be quitting on him. He’d known it would, one day.

“Kakashi-sensei, please!”

There was a sharp slap to his face, and the shock of it yanked him abruptly back to the rooftop. For a moment, all he could see was pink-orange—the sunset, he thought, until something blue-black edged in, and no…those were his students leaning over him. Sakura, face wet. Naruto, eyes wide and frantic. Sasuke, white-knuckled grip on Kakashi’s vest.

Kakashi inhaled, and the air in his lungs hurt, but it was there. He became aware of the pavement under him. Somehow, he’d ended up on the ground. He must have collapsed.

“Sensei?” Sakura asked, voice wobbling.

“Hm?” He couldn’t manage more than that, his throat still tight enough he worried a single word would be enough to choke him.

But instead of asking a question, she let out a sob and all but tackled him, Naruto following a second after. It was a good thing he was already on the ground, or else they’d have knocked him over.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Naruto said, and now he sounded like he was crying too, face half-buried in Kakashi’s shoulder.

Slowly, carefully, and with his arm still feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds, Kakashi lifted a hand and patted the top of Naruto’s head. Then Sakura’s. And then, because Sasuke had always been pricklier about that sort of thing, even if he needed the same reassurances the others did, Kakashi reached out and clasped his shoulder.

“Me, too,” Sasuke said, much more quietly and without the tears. But there was a heaviness to it. Shame, Kakashi thought. “I’m…sorry.”

Kakashi nodded as much as he was able, and then let his head thunk back down on the pavement.

(Later, when the crying finally stopped and Kakashi was back in the damned hospital again—because apparently he’d re-drained his chakra reserves and also passed out, and that required inpatient care—he’d tear them all a new one, Sakura included. The boys were in the most trouble for fighting each other like that, but to get between two deadly jutsus? It was suicidal.)

(And if, when Kakashi was done lecturing from his hospital bed—and Tsunade was done yelling, twice as loud and with significantly more swearing thrown in—the kids refused to budge from the hospital room, clustering around Kakashi’s bed and taking turns maintaining a point of contact like they thought he would disappear if they let him go for even a second…well.

This wasn’t the way Kakashi had wanted to make them all act like a proper team, but he wasn’t about to argue with the results.)

[sufferthesea]

sufferthesea Writing Masterlist

Current as of January 2025

Flash Fiction Friday Masterlist (To Be Added)

The Raven Cycle

Alveary (Gansey) - Oneshot

Dendriform (Blue and Artemus) - Oneshot

The Haunting of Bly Manor

Weirdward - Oneshot

DBH

Fatiguée (Hank x Reader) - French-language fic

Naruto

Kakashi Week 2017 Masterlist

Team 7 as Greek Gods - Headcanons

Kakashi and Iruka Getting a Potato in the Mail - Headcanons

Rin Survives & Keeps Isobu - Headcanons

Genma as a Squad Leader - Headcanons

How Genma Would Celebrate His S/O's Birthday (Genma x Reader) - Headcanons

Zabuza Raising Haku - Headcanons

Kisame Finding Out Someone Has a Crush on Him - Headcanons

Akatsuki and Their Opinion On/Favorite Pop Punk Bands - Headcanons

Konan Taking Care of a Sick S/O - Headcanons

Relationships with Yamato, Shino, and Sasori (Yamato x Reader, Shino x Reader, Sasori x Reader) - Headcanons, No poly

First Realizing They Love Their S/O (Kiba x Reader, Shino x Reader, Iruka x Reader) - Headcanons, No poly

Kiba and Iruka Handling Awkward Situations - Headcanons

Yamato, Kakashi, and Sasori Meeting Their Childhood Crush/Friend Again (Yamato x Reader, Kakashi x Reader, Sasori x Reader) - Headcanons, No poly

Kakashi, Iruka, and Kiba Post-Sex Headcanons (Kakashi x Reader, Iruka x Reader, Kiba x Reader) - Headcanons, NSFW, No poly

Kakashi, Iruka, and Guy Getting Love Notes From an Admirer (Kakashi x Reader, Iruka x Reader, Guy x Reader) - Headcanons, No poly

Kakashi with Twins (Dad!Kakashi) - Headcanons

Shikamaru Returning to Civilian S/O (Shikamaru x Reader) - Headcanons, Whump

Konoha Kunoichi as Study Buddy Partners - Headcanons

The Best Birthday Gifts are a Surprise (Genma x Reader) - Oneshot, Prequel to "The Best First Date Ever"

The Best First Date Ever - Considering It's Flu Season (Genma x Reader) - Oneshot, Sick fic, Sequel to "The Best Birthday Gifts"

When the World Was at War, We Kept Dancing (Genma x Civilian!Reader) - Chapter One, Post-War

When the World Was at War, We Kept Dancing (Genma x Civilian!Reader) - Chapter Two, Post-War

Pink Peonies Pt. 1/5 (Kakashi x Reader) - Fic, Chapter One

Pink Peonies Pt. 2/5 (Kakashi x Reader) - Fic, Chapter Two

Pink Peonies Pt. 3/5 (Kakashi x Reader) - Fic, Chapter Three

Pink Peonies Pt. 4/5 (Kakashi x Reader) - Fic, Chapter Four

Pink Peonies Pt. 5/5 (Kakashi x Reader) - Fic, Chapter Five, Includes art

Young Blood (Anbu!Yamato) - Oneshot - TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death. Includes art

Tsunade, the Childless Mother (Tsunade & Kakashi) - Oneshot - TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death, Suicide

Found Family (Reincarnation!AU Kakashi, Yamato, Sakumo) - Oneshot - Includes art

A Compliment for Brown Eyes (KakaIru) - Oneshot

Cheapskate (Kakashi) - Oneshot

Hardly Working (KoteIzu) - Oneshot

Nightmares (Dad!Iruka & Son!Naruto) - Oneshot - TW: Death mention

Thanksgrieving (Sakumo x Reader, Toddler!Kakashi, Stepparent!Reader) - Oneshot - TW: Death mention, grief

Like Father, Like Son (Sakumo & Kakashi) - Oneshot

Playing Pretend (Sakumo & Toddler!Kakashi) - Oneshot, Fluff

Puppy Love (Kakashi & Dogs) - Oneshot, Fluff

The One Where It's Kakashi's Birthday (Kakashi x Reader) - Oneshot, Fluff

Iacta Alea Est (Kakashi & Uchihas) - Oneshot, Angst

The Death of a Seamstress (aka 8 Ninken Jackets and Kakashi Assumes Too Much) (Kakashi) - Oneshot

What the Eye Sees (Kakashi) - Oneshot, TW: Scars, past abuse, dissociation, Includes art

Coffins (Yamato) - Oneshot, TW: Death mention, past abuse

Art Class (Modern!SasoDei) - Oneshot

Sappy DeiAnna Drabble (Deidara x Tumblr Friend) - Oneshot

Double Date Disaster (Deidara x Tumblr Friend, Obito x Me) - Oneshot

FireImp!AU MadaStarry Drabble (Madara x Tumblr Friend) - Oneshot

Akatsuki!RockLee - Comic and Ficlet

Puppet Pt. 1/4 (ShikaSaku) - Comic - TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death

Puppet Pt. 2/4 (ShikaSaku) - Comic - TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death

Puppet Pt. 3/4 (ShikaSaku) - Comic, TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death

Puppet Pt. 4/4 (ShikaSaku) - Comic and End Ficlet - TW: Gore, Violence, Blood, Death

The Confession (Obeeto Confession Comic #1) Pt. 1/3 - Comic, Obito x Me

The Confession (Obeeto Confession Comic #2) Pt. 2/3 - Comic, Obito x Me

The Confession (Obeeto Confession Comic #3) Pt. 3/3 - Comic, Obito x Me

Long Overdue and Much Deserved (Obeeto Confession Comic #2) Pt. 1/2 - Comic, Obito x Me

Long Overdue and Much Deserved (Obeeto Confession Comic #2) Pt. 2/2 - Comic, Obito x Me

Harry Potter x Naruto Crossover (Remus Lupin & Kiba) - Tumblr exchange

Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit

Sunlight (Galadriel x Celeborn) - Oneshot

Ben Mendelsohn

Nolan Sorrento x Reader Birthday - Headcanons

Dating/Surprise Birthday Party (Danny Rayburn x Reader) - Headcanons

Raul Esparza

I Became an ADA and All I Got Was Drugged at a Party - Oneshot, Crack fic, Law & Order: SVU, TW - Drugs, alcohol, nonconsensual substance use, comedic violence/death mention

Harry Potter

Harry Potter x Naruto Crossover (Remus Lupin & Kiba) - Tumblr exchange

[usagirln12003]

Orochimaru: Hogwarts AU

Orochimaru is a Half-Blood wizard that was born on the 27th of October 1941 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1953, being sorted into Slytherin House.

He has a Yew wand with a Dragon Heartstring core.

His Patronus is a Black Mamba.

His favorite subject was Potions and his least favorite subject was Astronomy.

He was one of the Slytherin Prefects of his year and later Head-Boy.

Orochimaru possesses a complex personality; however, more often than not, he was described as "twisted" by a large number of people, including Tsunade. Jiraiya speculated that the death of his parents while he was young, along with his horror for Tsunade losing Nawaki and later shedding tears when she lost Dan, implies that Orochimaru grew to disdain the fragility of human life and how it affected those still living, which led him to desire immortality. To that end, the primary purpose of Orochimaru's human experimentation is to test what modifications the human body can endure and harness a subject's magic abilities for himself. Once accomplishing this goal, Orochimaru had hoped to be worthy of the title of "ultimate being", unable to die and able to achieve his secondary goal to learn every spell in the world, which would normally take many lifetimes to obtain.

According to Sasuke, becoming cruel with any good he had as a ministry worker long gone, Orochimaru's agenda made him develop a god complex and highly value himself while delighting in striking terror in his first impressions. Though causing conflict to ease his boredom, Orochimaru seems to have no interest in wars started by others. He is also somewhat of a perfectionist, always striving to make his various projects succeed, and likewise looks down on those who are sloppy and/or reckless in their own projects. His charisma also attracts a number of followers, many of which he would not hesitate to send on potential suicide missions if for his own personal benefit, expressing some remorse if they're unable to properly complete a task, and having no sentimental attachments to any of them despite their value to his goals. Despite this, Orochimaru has genuine interest in the development of his underlings and experiments. Likewise, Orochimaru is treacherous by nature, unhesitant in double-crossing any allies if it would benefit him, having assassinated one of the higher ups in the ministry to impersonate him so as to making it easier to manipulate others, while using Akatsuki to help further his own goals and abandoning them once he failed to take Itachi Uchiha's body.

Taking Sasuke as an apprentice, and seeing him as a prodigy like himself, Orochimaru intended to take the youth's body to obtain the young man's magic to reach another step in his goal of immortality and learning every spell in the world. This goal has developed to the point of obsession. However, despite knowing that Sasuke was willing to do anything for revenge, including sacrificing his own body, Orochimaru did anticipate treachery from his disciple and showed only a small level of surprise when it actually occurred. What truly surprised Orochimaru was Sasuke's decision to follow his own path and his eventual decision to defend the ministry he initially swore to destroy, one that Orochimaru openly approved of and was curious to see what would be the end result of.

He also had an initial disdain toward Naruto Uzumaki, believing him to be a poor excuse for a wizard until he defeated Kabuto with Expelliarmus. Despite attempting to kill Naruto at the time after coming to the realisation that he would become a threat to him in the future, Orochimaru became interested in Naruto's development, provoking Naruto during their duel to draw out his full abilities at the time. During the war seeing Naruto's indomitable willpower and his memories with Jiraiya caused Orochimaru to begin to respect him. He is also one of the people who congratulated Naruto and Hinata on their wedding. Though coming to hate the Ministry of Magic, orchestrating a few attempts to destroy it, Orochimaru despised his former Akatsuki colleagues more. Throughout the Fourth Wizarding War, if Orochimaru was not busy with Sasuke's development, he would try to cripple Akatsuki's operations. He expresses delight over the death of Sasori and later convinced Sasuke against killing aurors and hit-wizards so they would thin out Akatsuki's membership.

An aspect of Orochimaru's personality is also his greatest weakness: his arrogance. He truly believed he was immortal at times, attacking recklessly against powerful opponents such as his former teacher and Itachi Uchiha. Both times, he was left crippled in some way since he either wanted to make his opponent suffer, like against Hiruzen, or because he was too uninformed to face his opponent, like against Itachi. Despite his distinct lack of morals, Orochimaru seems to be well-versed in psychological warfare and displays insightful wisdom when disparaging Tobirama for the actions resulting from his policies. He is also amusingly afraid of insects and bugs as seen during Naruto and Hinata's wedding.

After Sasuke saved his life, his personality changed a bit. While he’s still as self-serving as ever, he also realised that copying someone completely was a mistake from his observation of Kabuto and displayed interest in Sasuke's "different path". Wanting to see Sasuke's path, he chose to fight alongside the Uchiha instead of ignoring Madara's war like he planned, and even made it a priority to heal Tsunade and the other higher ups of the ministry after their defeat before hurrying to the battlefield. Orochimaru also seems to genuinely care about Sasuke's wellbeing, as he originally thought it was best to take his time figuring out how to battle Tobi but quickly decided against taking his time when Karin sensed Sasuke was on the verge of death. Orochimaru has also shown signs of regret, seemingly saddened by his childhood friend Jiraiya's death.

Years later, while still as driven as ever to uncover the greatest secrets of life, he apparently now does so in a relatively more humane manner, including reforming his personal department inside the ministry. Also, while his relationship with the rest of the wizarding world is still dubious at best, he has at least developed a relatively trusting relationship between the higher-ups of the ministry, and was likewise able to have a "casual" parent-teacher conference about Mitsuki. He is willingly aiding the Department of Mysteries in research on pressing matters and likewise feels responsible enough to make amends for past mistakes. He apparently is on amicable terms with Hogwarts by sending his son, Mitsuki, to the prestigious school. He also feels indebted to Naruto as the minister for watching over Mitsuki. Orochimaru's experiences also resulted in him wishing Mitsuki to make his own decisions, admitting that he has high hopes for the boy's natural growth, though he at times used manipulation and deception to put him in a situation where important decisions must be made. He also shows some interest in the respective children of Naruto and Sasuke, particularly intrigued by Boruto sharing the same unwavering spirit and loyalty as his father. Ultimately, his changes have made even Sengoku view Orochimaru as going "soft".

[happyocelot]

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it 😊

NaruHina - SpyAU

NaruHina - space travel AU

Thanks! I came up with these in a few minutes. Hope you like!

NaruHina - Spy AU

1. Naruto and Hinata are both spies from the same spy training academy but Naruto sucks at being a spy. He is the clumsiest and insists on wearing this eye-bleeding shade of orange whenever he's on a mission and naturally doesn't do a good job of blending in. He has a complex about being the best spy EVER and shouts this out loud...a lot. Again, so many covers blown, so many times.

Hinata is so quiet, she blends in with the furniture and no one notices her, so she's much better at the job than Naruto. A higher-up (Kakashi? Tsunade? I think both...) decides to rein in Naruto and hopefully salvage any missions he's on, and assigns Hinata as his partner.

2. This backfires HORRIBLY...because Hinata has been in love with Naruto for years and becomes a clumsy mess around him too.

3. Naruto and Hinata are assigned to infiltrate the criminal group Akatsuki, and Naruto is so over-the-top about being the best spy dattebayo that no one in the group believes he is a real spy...refuge in audacity works for him. Hinata is also assumed to be a harmless little thing ("why are you even in a criminal group?") and gathering info is pretty easy for her.

4. Against all odds and with the help of inside agent Itachi, they successfully bust the criminal gang.

5. They get married with Naruto wearing a bright orange tuxedo and Hinata wearing a bright orange wedding gown. Naruto's former teacher Iruka is crying in joy that his beloved student is getting married and also crying in rage that he insisted on a bright orange theme for the wedding.

NaruHina - Space Travel AU

Astronaut Naruto forces the space travel director Kakashi to give astronauts dehydrated space ramen and furthermore to make that everyone's meal all the time. The other astronauts in the program hate him.

It proves a hit with the general public. Dehydrated ramen sales have never been higher. Naruto accidentally started a cult around dehydrated space ramen.

He tries to moon walk and trips.

He suggests a trip to Mercury or perhaps Venus on a TV talk show and is gently reminded that humans would die if they ever went to those planets. Not to be dissuaded, he begins suggesting trips to Neptune, Pluto, and the Andromeda Galaxy.

One day, scanning the newspaper, his eyes catch a headline, "Young lady beats astronaut's record for most dehydrated cup ramen consumed in one sitting." He makes it his mission to track her down. Then begins a whole other story...

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Age swap au

Obito goes to gain power from Orochimaru so that he can gain Revenge for his clan by killing their murderer

Rin sticking with Sakura-Sensei to improve her skills and studying to become better with her traps but also to find her path (which ultimately leads to medical ninjitsu as well as fuijitsu)

Kakashi not being able to find someone he wants to train with after Obito leaves, and feeling out of place in the village but also needing protection from the Akatsuki, so he goes on a journey with Naruto-Sensei who gets clearance from Tsunade-sama. Naruto doesn’t really train Kakashi so much as take a whole bunch of Jutsu scrolls that he lets Kakashi study and lesrn from.

He does spar against Kakashi a lot, but finds Kakashi actually excels best on his own with someone to help him gain access to scrolls and test his growth at least once every three days.

[hellcifrogs]

Students' students AU Part 5

<- Pt 4 / start

So! Tsunade sends Naruto on a big mission with Jiraiya. One that will keep them away with no precise time for return, since this would be Jiraiya's usual job.

At first Naruto doesn't want to go, he is still hurt and a little bitter that so many secrets were kept from him for all of his life. But Tsunade tells him that, as his godfather, Jiraiya still is, technically, his legal guardian.

He takes the time to go tell Iruka about this, after all he was the one who actually took care of him. They can have an open heart moment (similar to the one they got in the war arc).

And Iruka is the one who finally convinces Naruto to go, telling he will be there waiting to have so Ichiraku when he returns, and that he should just take that chance to train directly under such a powerful ninja, that Naruto should take this as a chance to make him teach anything and everythng he wants for all those secrets.

So they leave.

Learning that Jiraiya never stopped looking for the one responsible for Minato and Kushina's deaths, that the reason he never came back to be his guardian was to get closing/revenge for his parents and the village, while also working years to make sure that never happens again to other, more vulnerable villages is what finally moves Naruto to forgive him.

And with that Nagato and Konan start to train him along with Jiraiya, Naruto learns the sage mode with Nagato's help on chakra control, he joins Konan on patrolling the village and keeping the place (and Naruto) safe from the corrupted side of the Akatsuki.

[sischan]

NaruIno Fan-fiction: Prologue

Following is a fan-fiction for the Naruto Shippuden characters Naruto and Ino, but in an AU with the duo becoming closer. These two are currently the highest percentage of this poll when writing this fan-fiction. 

Prologue

“Are you sure about this?” Shrugging her arms in disappointment was Ino Yamanaka. Placing a hand on her hip, with her long blonde pony-tail that flowed along her back. Facing her was the fifth Hokage, Tsunade. Her patience was thick that day, with her easily brushing off Ino’s snarky remarks upon hearing her mission. 

Resting her arms against her desk and crossing her fingers. Tsunade smiled before speaking, “Of course, you two are the ones that did help them come together.”

Before giving a response, a knock came from the door.

“Come in!” Tsunade responded.

“Granny! I heard that you got a ‘S’ Class mission for me!” Shining brightly with a smile was Naruto Uzumaki. Known recently as the ‘Hero of the Village’ from the Akatsuki’s attack. Upon closing the door, he noticed Ino. Standing annoyed by just hearing the information for their mission together. “Oh, hey Ino! Are you being assigned as well?”

“Why else would I be here, Naruto.” She lightly sighed, but gave a soft chuckle at him. With her imagining his response to hearing about their mission in the Land of Tea. He shrugged his face in confusion to her shift in attitude, but continued to Tsunade.

“What is the mission, Granny?” Naruto's smile returned.

“Calm down, Naruto.” Tsunade clicked a desk drawer shut and placed a few pictures onto her desk for him to see. Upon closer approach he glanced at the photos, but Tsunade continued snapping his attention back. “Your mission is a body double for the fiancee of Prince Chikara from the Land of Tea. I am sure you two remember her.” She glanced at Ino and continued. “She requested you two specifically once she heard of your deeds, Naruto.”

Naruto stared at the photo once more from Tsunade’s desk. Minutes seemed to pass before Ino did a light cough, giving him the answer. “Think of a female version of Choji…”

“Oh! Are you talking about the Princess that asked for you to double for her back when-” Ino cutted him off before he could finish.

“Yes, that is the one. Princess Fuku.” It was clear to Tsunade that Ino was annoyed by even the mention of their previous encounter with the Princess of the Land of Greens. “It would seem that she needs you to act in her place again.”

“What for though? I mean, the last time was so she could get with that Prince guy…” 

“Yes, but this time is different, Naruto.” Tsunade spoke firmly, but calm. “It would so happen that the Land of Tea is on the brink of war with the Land of Greens.”

“Brink of a war? What for?” Naruto placed his hands on her desk. Ino sighed lightly, crossing her arms. “Don’t tell me that the two of them got into a fight…”

“Of course, not.” Tsunade calmed him, but before pushing a picture back to reveal a current picture of the couple. “This was sent with a messenger bird along with the request for this mission.” 

Picking up the picture in his hand. 

Stood a slimmer Princess Fuku holding her stomach and in her arms was a bouquet of Dahlias. A few purple, yellow, red, pink,and a single green were in the bouquet.

“It is a flower that can symbolize a strong bond and everlasting love, but the meaning can be different depending on the flower’s color.” Ino spoke as she peeked over Naruto’s shoulder, while he was holding the picture up to his face. Noticing her, he turned to hand the photo to Ino.

“What does the flowers in the photo mean? Is she trying to send a secret message to you, Ino?” Naruto glanced at her, and Tsunade stared at her waiting for a response. Although she has already uncoded her message with the picture alone, afterall Tsunade was the top medical ninja that it only takes her a glance.

Ino glanced over the photo, viewing the total of flowers and their colors. Upon finishing examining the flowers, she turned to hand the photo back onto Tsunade’s desk before speaking. “Purple colored flowers mean dignity and royalty. Yellow flowers are joy and excitement.  Red flowers mean strength, power, love, and passion. Pink flowers mean Kindness, beauty, and grace.  So it’s safe to understand that their love is still going strong.”

“That is good to hear at the least.” Naruto let out a sigh, but Ino returned Tsunade’s gaze. Waiting for her to finish.

“While that single green flower means a fresh start and positive change.” Ino finished, while Tsunade stood up from her desk. Turning to face out the window.

“What would a black flower mean?” Tsunade spoke.

Ino looked up at her with curiosity. With her meeting with Tsunade before Naruto to get a brief, but she didn’t even get shared this much. She answered her question, “Black would mean betrayal and sadness…”

“This flower was sent to us by a separate messenger bird. However, this bird was a request from the Land of Tea to assist.” Tsunade turned, pulling the flower from her sleeve. Ino reached for the flower, feeling the petals in her hands. Studying the state of the flower. Thanks to her family’s knowledge of floral came to her aid as a shinobi and in her training to become a reliable medic like her rival, Sakura Haruno. Although she was away on a mission of her own. Entrusting Ino to keep watch over her friend’s teammate.

Snapping her mind back towards the flower, Ino handed it back to Tsunade. “Was this sent by Prince Chikara?” She asked while doing so.

“It was, but since we received two missions; first Princess Fuku of the Land of Greens requested for Ino to act as her body double as she travels to meet and wed her beloved Prince in the Land of Tea. You two will accompany Princess Fuku, while another team will be sent to investigate the second mission.” Tsunade sighed lightly. “This all seems like a headache to me, but you will understand their drastic measures. I’m sure upon talking with Princess Fuku further.”

Sitting back down in her chair, Naruto spoke. “Who will be the other team and the other mission, Granny?”

“Give me a moment.” He quickly hushed up, not wanting to anger her. Tsunade calmed herself and continued, “I’ve already dispatched both Shizune and Kakashi to see to it.”

“Kakashi-Sensei and Shizune, huh?...HUH!” Naruto turned his head, realizing that Shizune wasn’t in the Hokage’s office, like normal.

Tsunade continued, “Kakashi stated that ‘he has a feeling’ and I decided to assign her to join him. Although the details of their mission can’t be shared with you as of yet, I have already informed Ino of those details. I entrust that you will give him an update as you travel to the Land of Greens, Ino.”

“Yes, M’lady!” Ino responded.

End of Prologue

To be continued in Chapter One??  Following Canon Characters Princess Fuku from the Land of Greens and Prince Chikara from the Land of Tea are from the Naruto Filler episode 192, 'Ino Screams! Chubby Paradise!'. An episode in which Ino substitute for a Fuku and win the heart of the man of her dreams, Chikara. Although despite Ino's best efforts to complete the mission, despite having Naruto's aid, lead to their aid being unnecessary. With Fuku and Chikara falling vastly in love upon sight with the princess's true form. Which left Ino sulking as she decided to get a stricter diet. Which made me draw these of Naruto trying to cheer her up after their mission being neither a failure or a success with Ramen.

Please let me know if you would like me to add more to this fan-fiction or if you would like me to make another fan-fiction for a pairing that is in a new poll. Thank you for reading!

Here is the new poll on my devainart.

[ao3fujoshevik]

@whitesnakewine’s itakabu art has gotten me on board. when i get a chance i’ll write my itachi/wanderingpriest!kabuto fic 🙂‍↕️

idea rambling from lunch but based off my longstanding thought that itachi gives off “would convert to catholicism on the promise of feeling more guilty” vibes. and kabutos priest outfit being a catholic nun habit.

premise for the au: after the death of Nono, Kabuto rejects Orochimaru’s offer (or does he?) Kabuto has taken on Nono’s identitt as a travelling priest, healing as he travels but disguising it as faith healing. he knows the secrets of the Uchiha massacre, ROOT, etc. idly, he searches for tsunade, to further enhance his innate talent, but he is mostly trying to keep out of Konoha’s crosshairs. (or is still spying for orochimaru, but in the way nono was for root. maybe sends promising talent (once healed) to orochi.)

while in [random civilian village], he stumbles across Kisame and Itachi on a mission. he recognizes Itachi. he also, quickly, realizes that itachi has something fucked going on w his lungs from how he moves. kabu thinks this is a good opportunity to get information (if still orochi aligned, then good way to get info on sharingan). acting the gentle priest, he offers to heal Itachi.

itachi asks more about Kabuto’s religion; he is unfamiliar. (catholic convert itachi agenda) kabuto explains how he administers healing, and takes confession, but does not have services at any church bc he works across borders. itachi, once the idea of Catholic Guilt is explained to him, gets v on board. trusts kabuto more after his lungs begin to heal w more treatments, asks if Kabuto will take his confession as well.

idk. they get closer as kabuto treats the illness (while getting more intel about akatsuki) & his spirit; actually givinng advice. simmer the romantic/sexual tension; go heavy on the spiritual guilt. (priestfucker itachi agenda). but after they fuck itachi gets all catholic about it and commits to his Doomed Quest despite guidance otherwise bc now he has tarnished a man of the cloth too or w/e. kabuto is way too committed at this point & follows, getting more and more volatile. secretly yin reverse healing itachi before sasuke fight so he doesnt actually die or smthng even tho sasuke thinks so. might be too cheesy and happy an ending for the catholic guilt porn but w/e