#ais appreciates you reading it anyway

[ageless-aislynn]

I still can't launch Mass Effect: Andromeda without my computer going

💀No thanks💀

but at least the MCC can still launch and play (most of the time 👀). So I've been working on some solo achievements that I didn't think I would be able to get, namely the par scores. I went through and tried some of my favorite levels of Halo 2, 3, and Reach (sorry, 4, there is no level of you that I enjoy playing to that degree 🤷‍♀️ and I already have the ones on CE and ODST that I wanted to try for) and was actually able to get them! 🥳🥳🥳

And then. I realized I had 5 of the 9 levels of Reach, by FAR the most par scores than on any other game. And so I decided to try for "We'll Be Back" Beat the par score on every Halo: Reach level.

If you've ever tried this, well, either you're going

or you're just a much better player than I am, lol. Par score means you have to beat the par time but on a higher difficulty with tougher enemies and you can't just run by everybody, you've got to take 'em out to get the points.

"The Pillar of Autumn" was one that I'd struggled to get the par time on before (and that was on Easy so... 👀) but I got the par score on the second try. 🥳 That was a total shock!

I thought I'd get stalled on "Long Night of Solace" but I've gotten much better at the sabre section and blasted my way to victory after a few tries. (It was actually the fight on the Covvie ship after that that kept delaying me until the par time ran out and then your points begin frickin' to roll backwards to practically 0, ARGH.)

But then: "Exodus" and "The Package."

If those two levels just brought fear to your heart, then yeah, you've tried this achievement before.

ZOH MAH GUH. These levels are sooooo long *that's what she said joke goes here* 😜 and require stupidly high amounts of points: "Exodus" 20 minutes par time, 30,000 par score, "The Package" 20 minutes par time, 65,000 par score.

I didn't even get remotely close to par time or score my first dozen attempts at both of these levels. I tried different combinations of Normal + a bunch of skulls to raise the difficulty and Heroic + fewer skulls. I finally went with Heroic + fewer for "Exodus" annnnd after many, many times jetpacking my way to absolute failure trying to do the mid-level fight skip, I would make it to the last battle and my score would drain out because I went past the par time.

😑

That was legit my expression.

But then, I kept working at it, got better at doing the skip. Figured out how to jetpack up the building to do another skip (there's a trick to briefly stopping your jetpack halfway up, then starting again that will - eventually after much trial and error, falling to your death and cursing like a sailor 🤬😇😉 - let you get up to a higher place than you technically can in one jetpack burst). Then it was a matter of optimizing that final fight section where you have to activate two switches, then a final third. I died SO MANY TIMES trying to get to that last switch. Then I discovered you can jetpack up the outside of the room, go through the window, try not to get ABSOLUTELY OBLITERATED by the Hammer Chieftain Brute waiting for you, and hit the switch! I finally made the par score, woo-hoo!!!

And that left "The Package" and its monstrous 65,000 par score.

Playing on Normal with almost all of the skulls, despite seeing Youtube guides of other people managing it easily, just didn't work for me. I couldn't get nearly enough points. So I finally had to go with Heroic and almost all of the skulls on. That was painful but better than trying Legendary with no skulls and then I'd get my face melted off in the first section with the two turrets, the sniper Jackal with the focus rifle, the two fuel-rod Grunts and the 2 Grunts in the Ghosts. MY ABSOLUTE WORD, FRENS. My face got melted off SO MUCH. 😑

I learned speedrunning tricks I'd only heard of before and never thought to even try. I figured out how to run up the frickin' center support columns and do weird curving crouch jumps to 2 platforms just to avoid fighting a ginormous bunch of Jackals. I did the bounce trick where you sprint onto a sculpture, bounce up to a higher point on it, then jump for the window, crash through it and get to the Halsey's lab firefight without having to fight the camo Elites and that one Really Annoying General Elite™ with the concussion rifle.

(GAHHHHHHH, that dude blasted me SO MANY TIMES. And if throws a plasma grenade in your general direction? GOODBYE. HE DOES NOT MISS.)

You lose the points from those fights but if you're struggling for par time and you're already at about 50k points or so going into the firefight section, it was worth it.

I can't record but here are the 2 tricks at 3:46 and 4:36 (I had to jump to the higher level of the sculpture and crash through the window more to the left, I couldn't do it in one jump like Vodred does but I still could eventually make it about 3 out of 4 times, depending on if a camo Elite spawned standing RIGHT IN MY PATH. 😑)

I finally made it through to the Halsey's lab section at under 10 minutes. The following firefight is almost impossible to speed through at less than 10 minutes on its own because you have to wait for each wave of enemies to come in before you can clear them.

(I saw the world record holder do some amazing speedrun tricks to destroy the Phantoms as they come in to bring the enemies but, yeah, it was taking so long to try to learn that, I finally figured it was faster just to figure out how to fight them more efficiently.)

I did learn to reliably hijack a Banshee in mid-air thanks to my cool new jetpacking skills learned on "Exodus," at least. 😉

And then I got shot out of the sky SO MANY TIMES by those dang Jackals and Grunts and their overcharged plasma pistols. MY WORD. I worked a few different strategies, changing the Banshee for the Wraith and finishing the level like that or choosing to destroy the Wraith for the points and stay more maneuverable in the Banshee. I honestly thought the second strat was going to be the one that worked for me but MY STARS THOSE OVERCHARGED PLASMA PISTOLS ARRRGH.

I would get an enormous amount of points - once over 120k! - only to watch it drain to 16k because I couldn't finish the level even close to the par time. I was so sad on that one, frens, I can't even. 😭😭😭

But then, last night, I decided to try one last run before I went off to try to become a slightly more productive member of society. 😜 And I fought my little heart out, doing a combo of speedrun tricks and stand-and-fight to get points. And I out of the corner of my eye, I saw the timer at 19 minutes and change and the last wave was just dropping. 😱 I had over 110k points at this time but would start losing them quickly once we reached 20 minutes.

I was in the Wraith, which is powerful but moves slooooowly, down at the bottom of the map to take out the first of the last 3 Phantoms. I mortar bombed the other Wraith just as it was dropped off. I sped as fast as my Wraith could go - approximately the speed of molasses sliiiiiding down a hill in the sunlight 😑 - back up the map. I mortar bombed THE HECK out of everybody in the middle, trying desperately to be not only fast but to catch them grouped together for the multi-kill bonus points I knew I was going to need to inflate my score as high as possible against the going over par time penalty.

I see the timer hit 20, then 21. I stop looking and decide just to finish the fight™ (Master Chief John-117 😇😉) and see how close I could get.

I hear Dr. Halsey say, "Well done, Spartans. I'm opening the laboratory door," which is your cue to go and push the button (why the rest of Noble Team, who are STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE BUTTON can't do that on their own, I DUNNO). I have an Elite dancing around my mortar bombs as I'm Wraithing my way slooooowly towards the door. I glance down and see I have 90K POINTS LEFT, ZOMG. I do this stupid panic jump out of the Wraith without killing the Elite.

He starts shooting me. I JETPACK INTO THE SKY for some reason because I apparently forgot I have the jetpack on and not the sprint, lol.

He's still shooting at me. My shields are lighting up. I'm awkwardly jetpacking straight at Carter, mentally begging my beloved Noble One TO SAVE ME.

I land behind him and he provided accidental cover for me, actually getting shot by the Elite in my place.

Carter, my beloved.

ANYWAY, I'm doing this SUPER AWKWARD jetpack bursting hop thing towards that dang button because I again have forgotten I DON'T HAVE SPRINT RIGHT NOW, GEEZ. I hear the enemy Wraith on the platform behind me launch a mortar bomb and know that it CAN HIT ME WHERE I'M AT.

Ask me how I know. 😑

But this time, my awkward jetpacking meant I got to the button before the mortar got there and YES YES YES!

🥳

Annnnd here are the other par scores I got since I started trying for them last month. (And yes, when I can't sleep, I play Halo. 👀 Don't be an insomniac if you can help it, frens. 😴😉)

So, now I feel like I've accomplished something pretty special, even more than just getting the Legendary achievements because... Wait.

I wonder...? 🤔🤔🤔 I mean, Reach on Legendary is no party. *points up to that part where I mentioned getting my face melted* This would be a Legendary speedrun but I've learned a LOT of speedrunning tricks and there are a lot of really good guides out there...

Hm, maybe not. 😑😂

If you read all of this, thank you. I just mainly wanted to share my happiness at having gotten that achievement and since I couldn't include fun GIFs or video clips of it, I had to just be wordy. 🤷‍♀️

Have a cookie, from my heart to yours.

Now with 2000% more screencaps!

[drowningincaffiene]

its 1am. that means its 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 YEARN O'CLOCK 🥁 everyone is sleeping so i cant get up to write in my Yearn Notebook ™ so i will yap on toober 😁👍

[alchemiclee]

if I had money, I would pay someone to rewrite heaven official's blessing, but lesbian. if I was rich, i'd pay someone to turn it into a whole manga

[wonustars]

Come Thru

" you make me wanna come thru quarter after two just to put it down on you"

✧ pairing: joshua hong x female!reader ✧ wordcount: 1.7k ✧ genre: toxic fwb situation, slight angst, smut (mdni 18+)

✧ reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

✧ summary: your fwb joshua, comes over despite your half-assed protests. you arrangment is over, but one last time won't hurt, right? ✧ tags: non-idol!au, fwb! joshua, toxic!joshua, afab!reader, few smau texts, joshua is an asshole and reader lets him. ✧ warning/smut tags: DUBCON, coercion, unprotected p in v sex, degradation, slapping, groping, fingering, creampie. ✧ note: i recommend you don't take the dubcon and coercion warning lightly, if this isn't your cup of tea do not read. minors plz do not even try, i am watching. joshua is written to be an asshole in this fic. i also want to preface that i don't view joshua in this way irl, this is purely fiction. don't be like reader irl, this is made up plz. thank u to @junkissed and @okiedokrie for beta-reading ♡. also i had to ai generate an expanded version of this pic for the header, fyi. -> i have been in a joshua brain rot for the past 3 months, so this is the cause for this fic :p. lmk if u like darker themed fics! see u soonest - anna !

A part of you is reluctant to open the door, whilst the other part is begging you to give him one more chance. One more chance to kiss him, to feel him against your skin, to hear him say your name. 

There hasn’t been a time where you’ve denied Joshua’s need, allowing him to use your body in the ways he sees fit. But it’s different now, and that difference is the fact that you and Joshua don’t see eye to eye on the current status of your “relationship”. 

But you let him in anyway, you allow him to feel you completely, even when you know it's wrong. You know it’s wrong to do these things when you’re desperately in love with him and you know he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. The only communication between you two is texts asking the other to come over. To fulfill each other's desires through a quick and hard fuck. 

“Fuck, it's cold,” Joshua mutters, rubbing his arms to create some type of warmth as you open the door, “what took you so long?” 

“Then go home,” you roll your eyes, moving over to let him pass through the door despite the fact you told him to go home. 

“I don't wanna, I've missed you,” Joshua smiles at you, not with affection but just because he’s pleased at the fact that you allowed him to come over. 

“Why are you here, Shua?” you ask him, your arms crossing in front of your chest as you feign annoyance. 

“You know why,” he says, eyes piercing yours as his expression turns serious. 

“We can’t keep doing this,” you sigh, but your feet move towards you bedroom anyways while Joshua follows suit. 

Despite your verbal protest, you can’t help but fall into his trap. Blaming it on how handsome he is, how soft his voice gets when hes with you, and especially because he knows how to fuck you right. 

In your past relationships, sex never felt good, it was mostly just you going through the motions. Your partners finishing and leaving you to lie there sticky and displeased. But with Joshua, he doesn’t even begin till he’s made you cum. The gratification he gives you doesn’t start with his cock inside you. It begins with his mouth on your cunt, his fingers inside your wet hole. The chivalry he displays while he fucks you in your bed is unfortunately the only way you are able to witness it. 

Outside of your late nights with him, he doesn’t contact you, or even try to have a conversation with you. And yet you still fell for him. 

You feel his arms snake around your waist as the two of you head to your bedroom. There’s a feeling in your stomach that you can’t pinpoint. A feeling of guilt mixed with a bit of excitement. 

His lips move down your neck and you can’t help but lean back against his chest as he shuts the door. Strong arms pulling your waist in tighter as he leaves small bruises along your skin. 

Your body feels hot. All rational thoughts have left your head the moment he touched you. His hands start to move, groping at your chest, the flimsy material of your sleep wear allowing him to feel you despite the barrier. Your nipples hardening against his fingertips and he moves your head to the side, pulling you into a deep kiss. 

His dominant hand moves down from your chest, across your stomach and into your sleep shorts. 

“Why aren't you wearing underneath?” he mumbles against your lips. 

“It's too hot,” you respond before kissing him again. 

Finding your clit, he rubs circles against your sensitive bud. Rubbing and playing with you until your legs start to shake. The makeout ceases as your too overwhelmed by pleasure, your mouth open yet still against his lips as you moan out his name. 

“Fuck, you’re such a slut for me aren’t you, baby,” He curses, placing a finger inside your dripping cunt. 

He continues to play with you, his finger moving in and out of your tight pussy. Your walls are pulsing as he begins to add a second and then a third. The coil in your stomach starts to tighten as Joshua speeds up his ministrations. 

“I'm close,” you whimper, your eyebrows furrowing as you concentrate on reaching your orgasm. 

“Still so fucking tight,” Joshua whisper in your ear, feeling the way you clench around his fingers, "no matter how many times I put my cock into you."

It all comes to an abrupt stop and you whine at the loss of his touch. His pupils are dilated, eyelids lowered with lust. He doesn’t allow you to whine for him any further, carrying your body towards the bed before dropping you. Your body hits the mattress and it bounces underneath your weight. 

“Fuck me, please,” you beg him, your eyes watching the way he removes his clothes. 

You follow his actions, removing your soiled sleep shorts and thin tank top. Your tits bouncing as you throw your shirt onto the floor, not caring where it lands. The only thing on your mind is Joshua’s cock and the feeling of him being inside you. 

His eyes wash over your frame, his adam’s apple bobbing as he takes your figure in. He thinks your so sexy, with the way you stare at him so needily, your legs already spread for him. He doesn’t care that he’s promised that this would be the last time, he doesn’t care that you want to better your self. To stop this arraignment. He’s addicted to the feeling of your tight pussy, how it milks his cum and leaves him wanting another round. 

Hovering over top of you he aligns his dick with your entrance, rubbing the fat tip of his cock against your wet slit. The sounds coming from his actions are unholy, but to him the feeling is like heaven on earth. 

“You're soaking,” he groans, applying pressure to your clit with the tip of his length. 

Your eyes roll back, your walls pulsating around nothing, all you want is for him to be inside you. But you stop him for a moment, wondering why he hasn’t put on a condom. 

“Do you have a condom?” you place your hand against his chest, pushing him back slightly. 

“No, it's fine, we’ve done it without one before,” he shrugs. 

You sit up a little and roll your eyes at him. Sure you’ve done it without a condom before, but now that this arrangment has lost it’s exclusivity, you don’t trust Joshua’s words. You know that he’s probably seeing other people. 

“Joshua, fuck, are you trying to get me pregnant?” you sigh, and he does the same. 

“But it feels better without it,” he whispers in your ear before pushing you down onto the bed again. 

Before you can even register whats happening, you feel him fully sheath himself inside you. A moan escapes your lips in surprise and also pleasure. You don’t want him to fuck you like this, but the pleasure is too hard to ignore. The feeling of his naked cock inside you causes you to squeeze around him tighter. 

“I told you, it feels better without one,” he mutters, pushing your legs into your chest, folding you in half. His upper body against you, your legs essentially locked in place. 

“Joshua please,” your eyelids droop with pleasure. Your hands moving to grip his biceps as you allow him to fuck you raw. 

Joshua groans from above you, his hips snapping against your cunt, balls slapping against the skin of your ass. You can see the clear outline of his cock poking out from your lower stomach. 

“Your pussy's so good, fuck,” he continues to groan out of pleasure, his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust, "taking my cock so well, baby."

He moves slightly to let go of one of your legs as he sits up, flipping your body and arranges you till your ass is in the air, your back arched. As he re-enters you, a salacious moan leaves your lips, savouring the feeling of his balls hitting your clit. 

“No one is going to fuck you like I do, you hear me?” He says, his thrusts becoming more powerful to emphasize his words. 

“I said, do you hear me?” he reiterates himself, and you answer him obediently. 

"Mhm, fuck, feels so good," you whine.

Joshua’s hands come down to slap your ass harshly, leaving large red hand prints against your supple skin. The burn feels goods and your whimper with every slap he gives you. 

“Joshua please, don’t cum inside me,” you beg him, but he just chuckles at your pleas. 

You can feel your self getting closer to your orgasm, your walls tighenting against his cock with every move he makes. 

“Be a good girl for me and just take what I give you,” is all Joshua says, his hands moving over to your clit, rubbing it in circles to get you closer to completion. 

His other hands is pushing your face into the pillow with so much force that you genuinely don’t believe that you are able to move from where you lay. You can feel his member twitch inside you, his thrust beginning to get sloppy. The headboard is banging against the wall as he moves in and out of you.

Then you feel it, his hips still, his length fully inside you, tip right against your cervix before he releases his load. 

“Shua!”

You moan at the way his hot white cum fill your needy cunt, your eyes rolling back as your releases follows right after his. All you can hear is his laboured breathing as he removes himself from you.

Letting go of his hold on you, your body flops agains the mattress. You can hear shuffling behind you and you turn around to see Joshua already putting on his clothes. 

“I’ll text you the next time I want to come over,” Joshua says when he’s fully dressed, pulling you into a deep kiss before leaving. 

You sigh into your pillow, the relization of what just happened hitting you right away. The feeling of his cum dripping out of your now swollen cunt makes you feel sick, but you can’t get over how good he makes you feel. It doens’t matter how many times you tell him that “this is the last time”, Joshua always get what he wants.

✧ note: thank you for reading, i hoped you liked it! leave a comment or an ask if u wanna see more of this.

✧ taglist: @christinewithluv @todorokiskitten @peachescreamandcrumble @minwonfairy @oneandonlyluvv @ihrtmingyu @tigerhoshii @sleepzyy @luveveryonewoo @thepoopdokyeomtouched @chan-s-laptop @aksweet7 @leah-rose03 @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @gyuguys @crystal-rhyming @jenoxygen @hoshhhiiiii @babigriin @bouclesdefeu @mingyuecstacy @iluvseokmin @odevote118 @wonvsmile @suga-bitch @chickpea-jimin @lar3ine @bias-recs @hanniebub @iluvmingi @vapidlynn @aaniag @yogurttea @blurr3db3rry @lovejoshua @woozixo @drunk-on-dk @noiceoofed @angelfeverdream @leahhhher @hanniebwii @yuyunhoo @whowantshota @hannniiiiiehae @writingbarnes @chariseiswriting @imhwajaez @tomodachiii @valenhui @3lilredroses @bunnyjjongie @sunniques @lovejoshua (hi user lovejoshua u love joshua so here’s some joshua)

[eternalbuckley]

Old letters and cheesy nicknames. — mattheo riddle

SUMMARY: Mattheo finds old letters you've sent to him over the years and remembers how they cherished him up through tough times. You find him on your bed and end up cuddling after teasing him with a nickname you used to tease him with when you were younger.

word count: 1,662

genre: fluff | no specified reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings/tropes: it's quite cheesy i think, it's mentioned that reader has parents and that they decorated a christmas tree, english is not my first language, slightly proofread — if I forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: i don't know how to feel about this but i needed to write some fluff for mattheo. i hope you enjoy it reading <3 reblogs, feedback and comments are highly appreciated and welcomed! ♡

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. i don’t give you my permission to use my writing for any ai related things, don’t do it. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know!

golden divider by saradika-graphics

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Mattheo knelt on the wooden floor of your shared bedroom and went through an old box that was hidden in your closet. A chuckle left his lips as he found the letters he had kept over the years, some of them included different pictures of you or anything you wanted to share with him. He slowly got up and took the box with him; the floor creaked as he walked over to your bed. He sat down on the mattress, which slightly dipped because of his body. He turned on the lamp that was on his nightstand and opened the first envelope. A smile made its way to his lips as he started reading the first lines, it was a letter you sent him years ago when you were in your early years of being friends, back when you two were still students at Hogwarts and used to call him with those weird and cheesy nicknames, only to tease him. He used to pretend to hate them, but he secretly enjoyed every moment you came up with a new one. He cherished them, and combined with your playful and dramatic side? It made everything better for him within seconds.

“Hello, my dearest cutie pie,

how are you doing on this fine, sweet day? I just ate waaaay too many muffins. My mother made those moist muffins I told you about a few weeks ago, and they were sooo good. I wish you could smell and get a taste of them, but I may have eaten all of them already. :p I couldn’t resist them, don’t blame me.

We just decorated the Christmas tree. I even hung up the ornament you gifted me before we left. My parents love it (they really do!!!), so you know, it will be a part of the tree every year from now on. Oh, and they’d love to meet the guy I’ve told them about, maybe it can happen someday? Unless you can’t deal with my wonderful magical being anymore. That would be fine. (I would kick your ass ♡)

How are your holidays so far? Are your parents having a better time this year, or is it not going so well… I hope it’s the first option. As soon as we’re back in school, I’ll hug you anyway, even if you don’t want to.

I’m sending you much love, my cutie pie. I hope you miss me as much as I miss you.

Your sexy best friend :p”

It was one of many letters you’ve sent to Mattheo, most of the times you wrote to him were about updating him about your life during each holiday and how much you missed him, trying to cheer him up with each written word. Sometimes, you sent him a letter while you were in school, especially when you noticed that he wasn’t having a good day – you wanted to cheer him up.

Back then, you were just friends. Best friends if you want to be clearer. The bond between you became stronger over the years, some of your friends were surprised that you’d voluntarily spend time with the former Slytherin boy. Given his reputation, some people used to stay as far away from him as possible – you used to do the same in your first two years in school. Your friendship started in quietly acknowledging each other whenever you passed ways in the halls or saw him in the library. Somewhere, he was barely seen until you two started hanging out more. You often spent your afternoons with him, sometimes in Hogsmeade, sometimes in the library or outside.

Something you’ve noticed over time was that he wasn’t like the guy everyone told you or talked about in the halls of Hogwarts. Sure, there were reasons why he had his reputation, but Mattheo was acting differently in your presence. The more time you spent with each other and the more you grew closer, the more he let his walls down and opened up to you. Talking with you about his family and what it was like living with them – that it wasn’t the easiest time most of the days. You never judged him for the way he was and appreciated him even more after he told you all these things and trusted you enough to open up to you. You started to care for him and appreciate every time he was talking about the things he had on his heart and mind.

It wasn’t easy for him; he was scared that you’d find something one day that would make you hate him, but this day never came. Even today, he finds himself being worried that you might leave him. Especially if he fucked something up and you had an argument about it, he was scared. But unless he deeply hurts you, you’d never leave him. You couldn’t. You loved him too much for you to end up leaving him out of nowhere.

He opened another letter, and his smile grew, it was a letter you sent him after your graduation. It was a time when both of you had realised for a while that you had feelings for the other one but were too afraid to admit them.

“To my dearest friend Mattheo,

whom I will cherish for the rest of my life and who’ll never get rid of me.

I’m sitting in my bedroom right now, and it’s weird living alone now. I still haven’t unpacked most of my boxes, and I honestly don’t know where to fucking start. It’s weird to think about living alone now… After having shared my dorm with other students and knowing that there was always someone nearby. You weren’t alone, but now? I barely know anyone here where I live, only Hermione and Ron. Hopefully, Theo and Enzo are treating you well from now on. They better are, or else….. I’ll find something to threaten them.

Have I told you that I have an elderly lady living next to my flat? She seems nice, and kind of reminds me of Professor McGonagall in some ways. She always bakes me something and leaves it in front of my door. I think I’ll make her a gift to thank her. But other than that, I barely know anyone here. :(

I wish you could live here, so we could spend time together. Even if you think this place wouldn’t fit you, I know it would. You’ll see when you visit me!! :p

I miss you,

your smartest and hottest best friend. xx

PS.: Let me know when you plan to visit me so I can ask my mum to bake you those muffins you and I love. “

“Babe?” you called out for him as you sat on the couch in your living room. Too lazy to stand up, but you huffed and got up from your comfortable seat because Mattheo didn’t reply.

You set your book on the coffee table and walked into your bedroom. You found your boyfriend sitting on your bed with a letter in his hands. Your lips curved up into a smile as you noticed his smile and that he was rereading one of your letters.

“Oh my god, you still have them?” You chuckled and leaned against the doorframe of your bedroom, watching him with a fond expression. You didn’t know that he kept your letters, but it made you even happier that he kept them all over the years.

Mattheo hummed happily and looked up to you, “I kept each of them.” He spoke softly and patted the place next to him, moving the box with the letters aside as you sat down next to him cross-legged.

You laughed quietly as you read the letter about the Christmas tree and the muffins. Nostalgia and memories flooded your mind as you finished reading the letter. “I forgot I used to call you cutie pie,” your voice was filled with affection as you reread the first line.

He couldn’t help but chuckle and showed you a few other letters, each of them addressed with a different cheesy nickname. “Back then, I wanted to hate you for them,” he admitted, his voice filled with amusement, but even as he spoke, you both knew that he wasn’t telling the truth.

You grinned and lifted your head to look at him, “You secretly loved them, be honest,” you teased him and watched him as he rolled his eyes playfully, which earned him a hit on his chest and ended in a shared laughter. “You never told me that you kept them.”

He slowly nodded, “I did. Whenever I got them, I was happy for a moment, especially if times weren’t….” He paused for a moment and inhaled, “When times weren’t so great at home. Your letters made me feel better, even the few ones you sent to me during school.” He put the letter he was holding back into its envelope and put the box on the nightstand.

With a quick move, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you towards him. He let himself fall back against the mattress, and you ended up facing each other while lying on your sides. A giggle left your lips, which caused him to smile. You moved your arms around his neck and left small featherlight kisses on his cheeks, his lips and the tip of his nose. A soft hum left his lips as he melted into you even more with each kiss.

“I love you so much,” he whispered and pressed a gentle kiss on your lips. You returned his kiss and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. You gently traced his neck with your fingertips and slowly pulled away from him, “I love you more, my dearest cutie pie,” you grinned teasingly and yelped as he turned you over and hovered over you. “You’re the best that happened to me in my life,” he whispered and kissed you again.

[totheblood]

more modern!ellie headcanons

a/n: just a little something... as always AI AUDIOS AT THE END... replies and reblogs are appreciated

ellie is a complete night owl

like you actually are concerned about when she sleeps

if you have an early morning class together she is always running late

or just doesn't show up so you would have to call her and wake her up

"hey baby, what's up i just woke up"

"ellie, class is about to start."

"oh shit, we have class today?"

she would sit next to you in any class you shared and scribble little doodles over to you

or communicate with you through notes

ellie hates going out in public but she loves going with you to do your errands

you're going grocery shopping? ellie is there

you need to find new shoes? she is there

barnes and noble? she would probably be there before you

she likes to do this thing where she will pick out a book for you and you will pick out a book for her and you will sit in the back and spend your day reading together

sometimes she hates the books you pick out for her

"ugh, another colleen hoover book? i gave you a cool book and you give me colleen fucking hoover?"

"little women is cool?"

"i can't believe you just said that."

if you two are out in public together she likes to pretend that the two of you are a married couple

like for example if you're at the cash register and she brings an item up to you and asks if she could get it

"no ellie, put that back."

she would turn to the cashier and say something like "what the wife says, goes... am i right?"

even when she's not with you and she's out drinking at the bar with dina and jesse she would randomly be like, "the wife's not gonna like this one" and take another shot

or when she buys you lingere that is obviously not for her she would be like, "you know what they say, 'happy wife, happy life'"

ellie is really not a social person either

unless she is a few drinks deep which leads us to... drunk!ellie

drunk ellie is soooooo clingy and sentimental

not that she isn't regularly, she's just way more affectionate when drunk

her usual comments would be like, "you're so lucky i love you so much..." or "you're so cute when you're not patronizing me..."

but her drunk? "i think you're the best thing to have happened to me, please never leave me."

"being in love with you is all that matters to me right now... take your clothes off."

she's always touching you in some way if she's drunk

if she's drunk at dinner and she's next to you, her hand in on your thigh or her head is resting on your shoulder

if she's drunk at a party, her hands are on your waist at all times whether she's dancing with you or talking to others

she just wants to be around you

she also can't sleep without you if she's drunk

you would be trying to put her to bed and she would just grab your wrist and mutter a, "please stay"

ellie always orders something you like so you can pick off of her plate

"you want some, baby? i knew you were going to ask for some anyways."

she's always thinking of you

when she sees little trinkets she's like "aw my girlfriend would love this."

or when she sees someone trip in public she's like "i wish my girlfriend was here, i know she'd die laughing."

ellie reads you books so you can sleep

if she knows you had a particularly rough day she will be like, "you okay, babe? want me to read you something?"

and then your climbing in her bed and resting your head in the crook of her neck as she reads to you

she will send you a picture of any animal she sees on the street

loves getting you things because she loves your reaction to gifts

... the two of you study by getting to take an article of clothing off each time you get something right

let's just say you pass most of your tests

ai audios:

extras:

what the wife says, goes

happy wife happy life

the wife's not gonna like this one

you want some baby?

[whovianbuffalo]

Dot and Bubble thoughts

This episode was first and foremost an allegory for racism and the entitlement of white elites, and this little touch of “charging rebranded as 'work'”(because it's 'tedious') is interesting here.

Lindy later says "my job's not easy, I get chapping" which shows she clearly hasn't worked out that "work" has become a meaningless phrase in their carefully-controlled society.

Before this, Ricky says people used to do 'manual labor, for money', but Lindy still self-identified as a wealthy person when Ruby asked, and said "Only people who can afford it" are sent to Finetime, yet

So... I can understand why some people feel that this episode is trying to take a shot at Gen-Z and no one else, but I will say it does seem to be a valid critique of performative activism.

Lindy mentions that she is using 'refurb' clothing and therefore isn't using up any of Finetime's resources, which is one of the only indications we are given that this 'utopia' is, of course, falling apart. The other indication comes in the opening of the episode when the newsreader informs them "Not going to lie, we are having trouble with the weather satellite".

A friend of Lindy's compliments her outfit- a woman who says "Kindness all the time" (an ultimately hollow phrase) is preferable in this society to The Doctor and Ruby, who are seen as impolite for daring to interrupt their bubbles, but, ultimately, The Doctor is shut out due to racism and colorism. Ruby is an outsider too, but because she is white and blonde and blue eyed they never question if she is a "contagion".

The Doctor was no 'ruder' than Ruby, but Lindy focuses on him anyway.

I appreciate that we see an early indication of Lindy's selfishness in her first meeting with Ricky here.

Interesting that instead of "heaven's sake" Gothic says "For land's sake". This makes sense for a culture so clearly obsessed with Manifest Destiny, and of course reaffirms their belief that Finetime is "heaven", of sorts.

It's clear that they still have some Religious/Phantasmagorical connection to a mythical heaven, as Lindy says "You mean she's in The Sky? Isn't she lucky!" rather than think about the realities of death or an afterlife. And just in case we were wondering if this culture was religious, they invoke the deity (and Manifest Destiny) directly:

The specific way in which Dot and Bubble forces the viewer to sit with Lindy throughout the episode- static scenes shot of her very boring life and her extremely vapid, empty social life (which I appreciate The Doctor calls out as being enough to drive the AI to homicide) makes us feel trapped and complicit in her behavior, and Ricky's, too.

We're watching the narrative unfold from within the bubble and the screen is literally obscured, peeling back the layers until we finally meet the doctor in person- but Lindy's reaction is off.

And then... We don't follow them. The camera shrinks back, and the impossibly wide world which they wanted to conquer shrinks back into a tiny dot as their boat fades out into the horizon. We're left with Ruby and The Doctor and a TARDIS which is bigger on the inside, but we don't see inside her.

Great work from the director of photography here and amazing work from the cast and crew all round to make a script which must have looked extreme repetitive on paper- the constant use of the word "Forwards. Forwards. Forwards" must have been a hard slog in the read-through— work so well onscreen. How prodigious that it would appear have been too expensive to film during the 11th doctor's era and was shelved for more than a decade until we could get Ncuti Gatwa to fully embody this experience.

This episode was an excellent satire (of multiple things!) and I'm not sure it would have landed the same way in a previous era... But it feels incredibly timely now if you are willing to listen to it.

[retellingthehobbit]

….I’m suddenly realizing that I posted chapter 17 of The Hobbit comic on January 13th of 2024, so it’s been almost exactly one year since I last posted a chapter XD.

Really though, Ive realized my new Webcomic Goal is to be more like my favorite YouTube video essayists — who post one excellent high-effort video a year, and then vanish to work on their next video privately for another year (only giving rough draft updates to their Patreon members.)

I think a lot about Hbomberguy’s video essay on the widespread problem of plagiarism on YouTube, where he talks about how the incentive to Post More Content All The Time leads to creators producing plagiarized poorly-researched insincere videos about topics they don’t know/care about, videos that are horribly constructed and riddled with severe mistakes— and how the rise of AI is only going to make that kind of insidious plagiarism much easier to get away with. I also think about how I’ve seen webcomics I used to like start using AI-generated imagery for backgrounds in order to keep up with their rigid update schedule, assuming their readers won’t care as long as they get New #Content.

But people actually do care about quality and sincerity, is the thing! People like having things that are created with love, that they can slow down and revisit multiple times and appreciate more each time. People like things that aren’t shallow, and that the creator put their heart into making. I know that I value that, and I think most people actually do! Social media algorithms want us to prioritize frequency and regularity, and shove that data-driven content in our faces all day, but people actually do value things that are made with love and care even if they take a long time!

I know that I would rather wait an entire year for each video from Defunctland or Folding Ideas or Lindsay Ellis, than follow a thousand YouTube channels that keep to a rigid update schedule via lazy shallow poorly constructed plagiarized content. XD

Similarly, I’m always surprised every time I update that people are still Around and check on this goofy little fanfic comic project regularly? ;_; It’s still ultimately just a small fan-project, but it’s cool that people are still following it after all these years.

And I hope people can sorta view this comic that way— something that takes a long time to update, but only because anything worth reading takes a long time to create.

Anyway, I need to prepare some stuff so I’ll probably post the next chapter in the next couple weeks— I’ve been considering February 1st?— but in the meantime the full 30-page draft of the next chapter is on my art patreon, and you can see the full archive of the entire comic on my website RetellingTheHobbit.com :3.

Thank you again for continuing to follow me even during the Long Hiatuses! I really do appreciate having a small group of readers still sticking around in this fandom!! <333

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

SHANE MY BELOVED anyways gonna request based on an oc that i made/an ai chatbot chat that i did recently. selectively mute reader with shane, and how their relationship evolves? strangers to lovers probs. hcs or oneshot/drabble :3 -galaxy

WAHOOO

I got 5 hearts with him as we speak so this is perfect timing <3

......

Settling into Stardew Valley was certainly going to be a challenge, especially with the new life you wanted to build here..and of course that entails meeting new people.

For most of your life, you've been selectively mute, only ever using your voice if you absolutely have to.

You never used it much at your previous office job, but it was still quite soulless and didn't make you feel good.

Even so, Lewis doesn't think you should stay a stranger and insists you introduce yourself to folks in Pelican Town.

You couldn't ignore the letters stuffed into your mailbox forever..so you finally headed into town.

While some villagers regarded you as "quiet", many of them chalked it up to you being new and welcomed you anyways.

Although Shane is indifferent and annoyed--as he is to most strangers.

You accidentally bumped into him, and he thinks you're rude for not saying "sorry".

Your brain sorta panics as you sign the words...but from the way he stares at you, you realize he doesn't understand what you're saying.

By the time you get out your notepad, he's long gone, mumbling about being late to his shift.

Since then, you try being polite and wave to him anytime you see him in the street or at the saloon..but he just wonders why you're bothering him.

One thing he kept noticing at the bar was that you always gave your order to Gus on your notepad, and he starts thinking there is a reason you can't talk and you weren't just being a dick specifically to him that day.

Still, he doesn't ask you. You're probably gonna stop trying to befriend him sooner or later. So why should he care?

One day, you approach Shane while he's working at JojaMart and asked him where a certain food ingredient was, pointing to your shopping list..and you see that irritable look in his eye again.

He had customers mixing up things on the shelves and snapping at him for things outside his control--and you caught him on a rather bad day.

He says nothing and just points further down the isle, but you just smile and mouth "thank you", signing the words before continuing on.

Poor guy goes red, convinced you blew a kiss at him just now...and it's all he could think about for the rest of his shift.

The very next day, you show up at Marnie's place with a fresh pizza, asking if Shane was home.

He gets flustered as HELL when he realizes you were at the mart buying ingredients to make one of his favorite foods...and he acted like a total jackass.

You left a note inside the container, which basically tells him you're selectively mute and realized your farm was just down the road from his aunt's ranch.

After reading it, he awkwardly apologizes and asks for a fresh start, to which you just smile and nod.

Jas, at this point, can see he's got a crush on you.

After that was cleared up, you two become friends and hangout together at the saloon often or share a beer on the dock.

You don't talk, but tbh Shane appreciates the silence between you two. He didn't have to force conversation, and neither did you.

Although that also enables him to vent to you about how downtrodden and repetitive his life feels, with you simply listening and accompanying him home.

It doesn't change the fact he felt like a burden to everyone, and one night you found him on the cliffside, his face covered in mud and tears, ready to give up on the world.

In his drunken haze, he forgot you were mute and wants you to tell him why he shouldn't do it..

"No wait..I..forgot you can't-"

"Shane..I'm here for you." Your voice comes out low, hoarse, and a little shaky, but he stopped sobbing the moment he heard it..and he stares up at you in shock.

"S-So..you do speak.." He mumbles. "You sound....like--like an angel...fuck..maybe they do exist. So you'll...be here for me no matter what? Even if I did something stupid...?"

You simply nod, and that makes him change his mind.

He just can't believe that out of all the people in this town, you chose to open up to him--some sad sack of shit who was about to jump off the cliff--and decide he should be the one to hear your voice first.

You actually wanted him around. And you never hated him despite all the times he was rude to you..

After he nearly vomits all over your shoes, you take him to the hospital, knowing he needed Harvey's intervention, and since then you've been supportive of his recovery journey.

He only remembers bits and pieces from that night..although the one thing he couldn't forget was hearing your voice.

It was probably so difficult for you to find it again, and he appreciates you talking him down, even if you had to close up and go totally silent for the next few days or so.

If you ever go into why you became selectively mute, Shane will do his absolute best to understand (and maybe get a little overprotective in the process if someone makes fun of you for it).

But if not, he'll still defend you regardless.

You teach him a few general phrases in sign language, which he tries to grasp and eventually gets the hang of.

At some point down the line..he asks you out on a festival date after much pressure from Jas and Marnie, and you were so excited you nearly yelled out "YES"-

But instead managed to nod happily, taking his hand and dragging him towards the celebration without a second thought.

Soon that little date turns into a genuine relationship, with Shane eventually moving onto your farm to help you care for the crops and animals, switching to alternatives to beer and promising to cut back on the hours he spends at the saloon.

Some days you'll be away mining, fishing, slaying monsters, or helping the Junimos rebuild the community center, but other times you'll stay inside and just cuddle with him, your pet, and the chickens.

He was muddling over why you chose him (a lot of self doubt still festers inside of him), and you spoke to him again--this time to his sober-self.

That was "because I love you".

And yes...he did cry.

[chubbycelebs]

Update‼️

Hi guys. Don’t usually do this but thought I’d address some common questions.

So I get a lot of requests for stories or picture series with different celebs imagining them much fatter or whatever. Now a few things 1. Stories take a lot of time to make and I can get burnt out very easily so it can take a lot of time to come round to everyone’s stories. 2. I like to have a personal interest with the subject matter of the story so that it has the best possible outcome. and 3. is the AI tools I use to get the images used doesn’t work for me anymore. I have tried other apps and stuff and i never get the same outcome. Before I would use these images to inspire stories or explore different prospects however without that it becomes more difficult. This also affects when people have requests for stuff as I am unable to give you what you exactly what anymore. Leading on from this issue I guess I am kinda putting out a request for someone to help me:

If anyone has any thing that could help me in creating these images that would be greatly appreciated. I would even be down to collab with an artist and my stories however this would take more time.

Anyways if you’ve read this thank you so much! Hope you guys understand and possibly even help me out. If you have read this far, here’s an images of fat men! Hope you enjoy and be sure to check out my new stories!

[lace-sutures]

☆Everything seems to be in order...☆

✽ ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ 🌸

Ah! Welcome, may I see your authorization? 🌷

✰✰✰ Everything seems to check out! Now, what was it you said you were here for again..? Right! My name is Cinema, but you can just call me Cinna or Cin. Please keep all personal belongings put away and we can begin with the tour of The Greenhouse! ✰✰✰

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

As FishCity's botanist, I am set with the wondrous task of ensuring habitability and tending to the many plants. No, no.. They aren't for sale. Anyway! Feel free to explore on your own now if you'd like!

quick disclaimers and important info:

-i can and will draw selfship with my wife rise!donnie so if you dont want to see that, unfollow/block OR block the tag #selfship and you wont see any of it!

-my art requests are open

-interact with me! i swear i dont bite..(,,¬﹏¬,,)

Additional stuff to check out:

My pronouns and what to call me! 🌸 What's playing in my headphones? 🎧 700 DTIYS 🎨 #rottmnc - more coming! 🐈 #tmnt cin - me! 🎬 Donnie with other purple characters! 💜

Important people to know in FishCity:

The Mayor

The Train Conductor

Friend tags! (More TBA)

#corrupted file 📄- @mr-urple (big bro!!!) #ocean documentary 🪸 - @atomic-rattz (little bro...) #sweet n sour 🍋 - @hahawasabi #alien sighting 🛸 - @reddbug27

Navigation:

#rolling 🎥 (my art) #backstage 🎭 (my refs) #previews 🎞️ (ask replies) #talking during the movie {yapping) #5 stars 🌟 (reblogs) ------ #gifts 💌

boundaries and other stuff! ⇩(PLEASE READ BOUNDARIES BEFORE INTERACTING)

-> requests

i probably wont draw your oc

i wont do canon x YN requests unless i specify otherwise - i will deny/ignore you if you request it anyway. i understand you like the characters (i really do) but i just dont want to draw this kind of content as of now and i ask that you respect that.

...please dont beg or be pushy/send multiple asks with your request

if i havent responded to your request, i probably just dont want to do it or i do and am getting to it when i feel motivated

id prefer requests be primarily (rot)tmnt but if you want to request something related to any of my OTHER interests i wont mind（• ∇ ＜)

i am very obviously not going to be doing nsfw.

my commissions arent set up at the moment

the way that i personally do requests is that i get to them when i get to them. im most likely not ignoring you!!! i work at my own pace.

-> art usage

feel free to use my art as a pfp/banner etc (credit appreciated<3)

i dont mind if you repost as long as you credit me

do not edit/modify my art

do not use my art in edits

um.. i dont think this should be an issue but dont sell my art?

you can draw any of my designs but id prefer you didnt claim them as your own haha..please @ me if you do use anything id love to see it <3

-> boundaries

t/cest in/cest & proshippers fuck off. seriously, block me. this includes casey jr x turtles. dont joke about this shit either

^I do not count april but i probably wont draw any april x turtles anyway (he's married to me)

vivziepop (hazbin/helluva etc)

if you send me your art in my inbox and it doesnt pertain to me (like it just has nothing to do with me, just using me for clout?? idk its happened) i will probably answer privately. i love ur art but you cant just use me as a way to post it! if you want to show me something(again, if its just something unrelated and you want to show me)id prefer you tag me

i do not support ai art. if you support it or are neutral please block me. if you want to start making real art but dont know where to begin or need free resources, check out this post. (or this resource post)

if we're not close be mindful of what you send in my ask box lol. i am a minor. it makes me uncomfortable if youre sending me suggestive images or something like that (especially if i dont know you very well)

DO NOT VENT IN MY ASK BOX. i dont really know how to respond.. im witewawwy just a girl im not your thewapist im sowwy💔💔

i frequently call rise donnie my wife/bf & draw selfship (sometimes) so if that bothers you im sorry ;w; when i do draw selfship i try to tag it properly so it can be filtered !!!

im still an inexperienced artist, so i probably wont be able to give very good advice if you ask (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

feel free to tag me!

dms are open

-> other interests!

project sekai (if you want to play just ask for my id<3 im almost always up to it! i main jp but i do have en.)

vocaloid/utau/synthv & jpop

^ i am kakizaki yutas #1 fan !!!! listen to his music right now

hoyoverse (genshin, star rail, zzz, hi3)

little nightmares

skullgirls

YTTD

osomatsu san

metal family

bee and puppycat

jshk/tbhk

tadc

psych

ddlc

ptp

mitm

sotl

breaking bad

heathers the musical

...and more but this list is already getting long

stuff in here is subject to change! thank you so much for reading! (youd be surprised how many people dont)

[samkerrworshipper]

togetherness | pt.2

part 1. | part 2. | part 3. | part 4. | part 5 |

longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more

warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies

“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”

I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.

“No judgement?”

Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.

“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”

Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.

“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”

I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.

“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.

“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”

I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.

“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”

“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”

“I took most of them but he took some.”

Sam nodded at me again.

“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”

Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”

Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.

“Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.

“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”

“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”

I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.

“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”

Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.

“Can you?”

Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”

I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.

We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.

“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”

Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.

“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”

I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.

“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”

Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.

“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”

Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.

“Are you okay?”

Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.

“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”

I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.

“You have to take legal action though.”

Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.

Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.

“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”

I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.

“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”

Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.

“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”

I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.

“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”

I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.

“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”

I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.

“Thank you Coach.”

He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”

I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”

I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.

“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”

I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.

“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”

Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.

“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”

Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.

Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.

“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”

Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.

We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.

I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.

“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”

I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.

“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”

I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.

“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”

I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.

“You and Williamson?”

Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.

“Yeah.”

I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.

“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”

Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.

“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”

“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.

“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”

“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”

Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.

“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”

I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.

“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”

There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.

“Whatever you say Stephy.”

[greekceltic]

Jacky has a haunted arm. It started as a roleplay thing that I didn't think I would make canon, but I probably will. The situations it creates are fun. Anyway, for our amusement she can use it to touch ghosts so she scared hers. (Art doesn't quite match the writing). You can read the roleplay clip under the read more or on toyhouse.

GreekCeltic-

Junior was where she left him. He glanced at her. Same face. Same bags under his eyes and blushless pallor. What did that bandit say?

  When eyes meet, the soul has made love?

Yeah he was wrong.

Junior turned back around and she wondered how far she could walk before he was compelled to join her. She felt a little bad for not asking, but the feeling had no stay power. His wants and needs took a backseat to hers and she had found a way to make herself okay with that.

He could talk. It was within his power to ask her to put him in someone else’s care any time he wanted. After being left in the woods she could understand why he wouldn't want to be parked on Vlinder's hearth- in the same forest -but there were other people in their group who would travel. All basically good people.

Picking her was self sabotage.

Idiot.

She walked all the way in and shut the door behind her. The wind feathered a few rug ends but didn't bother with him.

  Maybe he's like AI and can't defy me, she wondered. Like bullshit television. She had never made the leap that it could be worse. Jacky felt that she was babysitting and had exactly as much authority as a teenager over a nine year old. In the end, not very much at all. She kept waiting for his tantrum, wanting it because after all that had happened it would make sense, even be healthy, but it never came.

She stumbled back toward the fur mat she had grown to hate since she woke up and stared down at it, too tired to sleep. There was such a thing. Jacky swayed weakly near it and turned away.

She looked at him again and ground her bottom jaw.

  Dummy should be begging to leave.

She hated the way he idled against the wall like a toy soldier waiting for something to do. That was the kind of thing that got ice put down your shorts at sleep overs. The idea of that made her spine prickle in a bad way, but it made her think. Jacky tilted back and lidded her eyes. She reached for one of the support pillars and rested her weight on it, two feet closer to him.   I could do it. She moved her feet, taking care not to scuff them on the floor. She didn't have to worry about the boards creaking. If they didn't notice Vlinder they weren't going to notice her. There were no more pillars between them, but she thought she'd make it. She tried, and on the way thought about how many nights he'd spent right there in a different room. Waiting or staring, as engaged as a coat put away on a hanger. He didn't even breathe loudly because he didn't breathe anymore.   DO something! The last few feet ended with her wobbling behind him, alarmingly silent, but not very steady. She reflexively tried to grab his shirt to pull it back with her good hand, but it went right through. Jacky didn't stop to wonder if he'd noticed that. She stuck her *cold* hand out like a senile old woman with a fork. It went up his shirt and flattened on the part where his back sank in. It worked when she slapped him. No reason to think it wouldn't work now. Themascura--

The target of her ire had no idea.   None.   He was peacefully existing in a corner, appreciating the window. It was nice to have a different view. He liked trees. Not enough to have been okay with just their company for a few millennia, but enough to be okay staring at them for a few days.   It was pretty out there. There were squirrels. And birds! Not many of those in the city. The cats had mostly eaten them all-   Jacky was about to learn a whole lot of things in quick succession. One, she could in fact scare the shit out of a ghost. Two, despite being dead ghosts did in fact have startle responses. Three, when she was touching a ghost with her ghost hand apparently walls became interactable- because he slapped the window/wall with his belly when he jumped and it made a sound.   A beautiful hollow sound, like when you thumped a watermelon.   He left a foggy mark on the window when he hopped back. He was still hopping when he turned around, trying to shake the ice cube out of his shirt. His spine was still flickering when he got all the way turned- visible through his shirt and his front and almost as far as his shoulders. The look he gave her was universal. The sibling glance of- I WAS MINDING MY BUSINESS.   Here you are, starting some shit. He stuck a hand straight out for her face, confident it would go through, but also confident it would mess with her already wonky balance and depth perception. Time for you to take a time out on the floor. You pushed your luck to far today anyway.

GreekCeltic-- His reaction was Christmas. She wasn't sure what to make of his spine. Jacky looked at her hand and wondered if it had cannibalized him somehow. A week ago she had dumped all the extra stuff into Christoph's leg. That had been a surprise. Christoph was alive, there was no way to know it wouldn't do the opposite and suck Junior up like a straw, like it had Virgil's magic.   Oough, there was a mental image she did not enjoy. When she touched Christoph she went with a gut feeling that turned out to be right. Here too she decided to go with a gut feeling-- that it was fine. "Oh excuse me did I interrupt your vacant staring?" Jacky's hand was still up, she dropped it and raised her other one, rubbing her arm furiously like she was trying to warm it up. Cold fire appeared and walked toward her elbow. "Gonna do it again." She spread the fire to her good hand but she never got to try it. He threw his at her face- IN her face -and she spilled in stages. Mostly in slow, wobbly, backwards walking motions that ended up near the bed. She fell against the edge. She had been put to bed. OBNOXIOUS. Jacky leaned into her sprawled arm and chose to be happy he showed some life. She didn't think she could get up without crawling on all fours and that wouldn't be preferable. She was also tired. It was possible she had never been so tired in her life. She crawled over the edge and fell into the divot like a kitten into a laundry basket. She slept all of the night and most of the next day. The only time she got up was to wash. She made a point of it so history wouldn't have to repeat itself. Who knows how many rag baths she got during the week. One was too many. Two would have been life ending. Her hair was close to dry when she went back to sleep. She tried to make it longer, but felt harassed that she was not alone. Dreams had been hard to remember the first week, but they were piling up now. She didn't know if she was remembering things or adding fantasies to what she did. All she knew was she couldn't be her own witness. With each waking she was a little more confused and a little more convinced she shouldn't have gone back for the brooch. It could have waited. At the time the idea of leaving Junior out there to believe no one was coming was too much and it was too much now, but was it worth it?   The elf was back when she got up, laying beside her with his arm folded behind his head.   Him again. Jacky looked at him a minute, but decided she didn't really care. She didn't know why. It should have embarrassed her but it was like sleeping with a big white dog. She got the feeling he thought of her as a cat. She looked across the room and saw Herman on his back against the wall, also asleep. Some kind of spell had fallen over this house. She and Junior were exempt. She grabbed her poncho and went out the front door. The moonlit air was bright and icy. She wasn't wearing her shoes but she didn't expect to go far and wanted the snow to bite her feet a little. It felt good even when it stung. When she got to the gate she put her hand on it and flipped up the latch (too complicated for a dead guy, apparently), but never pushed it forward. It would have been easy, but the idea of the gate held fast. There was a bigger obstacle here than a physical one. I shouldn't, Jacky thought. More like I can't. She'd been thinking about this a lot and the conclusion she came to was damned if I do, damned if I don't.

[eternalbuckley]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ WISTERIA VINES. (series)

୨୧ — It's the idea of a deep, romantic and emotional connection you once shared with someone. Wisteria vines symbolize romance and connection. They grow slowly but steadily and represent the patient process of reconnection and understanding. Vines grow in an intertwining way and can reflect a bond between two people and how they grow stronger together. The flowers bloom in spring which symbolises new beginnings, meaning that two people can grow a once shared bond again.

SUMMARY: You have been selected to portray the role of Juliet for the upcoming ballet ballet shows of Romeo and Juliet, which are set to be performed in three months. Which means you have to find yourself in a position to portray your role at the side of your ex-boyfriend and former dancing partner, Aemond Targaryen. Whom happened to have been selected as the role of Romeo. Things between you have been left in a friendly but strange place and given to the circumstances you'll have to find yourself spending most of your time together with him. Old feelings for each other remained between you since your breakup and might find their way back to each of you. What happens if one of you puts your somewhat left friendship and the production at risk for unsaid left feelings?

warnings/tropes: 18+ mdni, modern au, best friends brother, ex lovers to possible lovers, yearning, tension, chapters may contain sexual topics, fluff, angst, smut, and more! it's implied fem!/afab!reader (especially the smut parts) but i try to be as gender neutral as possible, they/them pronouns are used if needed, english is not my first language! (each chapter has its own warnings)

Chapter 1: Your Romeo. Your Juliet. | tiny bit of angst, 4,415 words

Chapter 2: Title not decided yet // coming soon

….

taglist for this series — i won't be able to upload a new chapter each week but i try to post reguarly ♡ (I'm using an extra taglist for this series, so if you want to be notified when i post a new chapter, please fill out the taglist! You don't have to do that if you're already on my main taglist but if don't want to be notified for the series please let me know!)

a/n: i am certainly no professional or have ever experienced dancing ballet myself. all my knowledge is from research and interest in itself. so, there might be things that make no sense, aren’t completely correct or whatsoever — it‘s just fiction so don’t think about it too much, please. i came up with the main idea because of my obsession with classical music i‘ve been having for the past months and because of a post from my angel @peachysunrize made a few months ago about an ex lovers!ballet au, which is the background idea for this series, hehehe. anyways, happy reading! i hope you‘ll enjoy reading this series which is my precious little baby! xx remember that reblogs, feedback and comments are highly appreciated and welcomed! ♡

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i don’t give you my permission to use my writing for any ai related things, don’t do it. do not plagiarise or try to take ownership of my work. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! i do not own the rights of any characters are involved in this series (unless i created them)

dividers by saradika-graphics

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ navigation | main hotg masterlist

[skzoologist]

Hidden flaws

word count: ~2.4k

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, arguments

summary: Nobody is perfect, and emotions help highlight those flaws.

a/n: I know this isn't the best I had written and most probably not what any of you expected, but I wanted to show that Bae has his flaws too, that he isn't all those wonderful things he shows to everyone. I hope you guys will still enjoy reading this drabble nonetheless.

Back to the masterlist

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

·͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙·͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙

·͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙·͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙

A heavy sigh left his chest, his shoulders sagging in temporary relief as the hefty bag was gently thrown into the corner. The door let out a soft click as it closed shut behind his exhausted form, something that only hunched over more as he’d noticed how a certain few pairs of shoes were chaotically thrown in the way. He knew which pair belonged to who, of course he did, and that only heightened his frustrations as he had already asked them several times to not do this.

But no matter. He was way too tired to deal with this right now.

The place was fairly quiet, save for some gentle murmurs of far-away conversations and the occasional shouts of Felix and Jeongin, who were most probably playing some kind of video game against each other -if the cursing was anything to go by, that is-.

And so Bae simply stood there for the next few minutes, drinking in the quite rare moment of silence after a particularly hectic day of work, even though every muscle and tendon inside his body screamed for rest, to just lay down and not move for the next 12 hours. He listened to the passing vehicles down below, the gentle tip-tapping of the water droplets as they hit the windows, of the continuous shuffling of fabric from everyone’s rooms down the hallway.

With each familiar sound his shoulders relaxed, that deeply-etched line between his eyebrows becoming faded and less visible.

But of course, peace could never last long in that dorm, in the one the nine of them shared.

As Bae moved towards his room to rest, his arm dragging his bag behind on the floor, his shoulder was pushed away so violently he nearly tripped backwards, were it not for the wall to catch his stumbling form.

“Jesus christ, watch where you’re going. I nearly fell because of you.” - one of the youngest spat out, anger and frustration dripping from each word.

The tired idol could only watch Seungmin’s leaving form, all his attention stolen from the lack of honorifics and the form of someone else passing by as he immediately closed his eyes so tightly it looked painful. His lung filled to the brim with another intake of air, this one much more urgent than the last, trapped inside until his veins screamed for release and comfort.

It was fine.

He was fine.

After hauling his bag into his room, his eyes momentarily got caught on the clean, folded clothes he had asked someone to put away. But before he could even fully process that information he had heard shouting from the way he had just come from, the two participants of the heated argument painfully obvious. It wouldn’t have been hard to guess anyway, with the mood Seungmin had just been in.

Sure enough, it only took Bae a few steps to witness that exact member and Changbin looking ready to tear each others’ heads off, a sight rarer than ever.

While Seungmin had always been one to stay calm and jokingly teasing, it was even rarer to see Changbin so ready to fight another member. The gym enthusiast always had a heart of gold, exercising his frustrations out instead of throwing it at any of them.

Both of them were only growing more heated with each passing second, veins visibly jumping underneath their skin with fiery anger. Changbin’s fists were both clenched to the point Bae was sure the skin would break, while Seungmin was biting his lip to the point of drawing blood between each violent word he’d stabbed the shorter male with.

Naturally, this drew the attention of every else in the dorm, each pair of eyes wide in disbelief at what was happening. The sight caused them to freeze, unable to believe that out of everyone, these two were having an actual argument and not just a playful banter they always had instead.

But Bae had been there before them by a few minutes, having already witnessed it all, and thus he was able to force his body to move, to act, his hands pushing at the arguing duo’s chests firmly. Two pairs of vicious eyes zeroed in on his form, yet only one’s owner spoke up.

“And what the fuck do you think you’re doing?! You can barely stand, for fuck’s sake! You come back late, you don’t know anything that happened, and yet you dare get between us? You always do this, playing the peacemaker in this group, as if you’re some kind of goody-two-shoes. You’re such a faker!”

It was silent after Seungmin’s words, the entire atmosphere turning chilly and dangerous. Changbin immediately backed down as if he was scorched, Bae’s hand now uselessly lifted in the air and staying completely still, until it returned to his side and clenched into a fist. Still, it was unable to fully conceal the swirling emotions residing deep within his chest, everything that had happened that day, that week, now desperately trying to spill to the top and consume him alive, injuring not only him in the process, but others as well.

A droplet of blood slithered down the cracks of his skin while nobody dared to move, the uttered words hanging in the air, letting their owner realise their meaning as they dug deeply into everyone’s skin like a vicious parasite.

“Seungmin-” “No, Chan. It’s okay. He’s right. In his eyes, I am what he just called me as.” “No, Bae-”

It all happened in an instant.

In one moment, Bae was standing between Seungmin and Changbin, Chan just far enough to not be able to prevent what was to come. Because in the next moment, Seungmin laid on the floor, dishevelled and panicked as Bae loomed above him, an unconcealed rage filling his once kind eyes. Bae’s chest burned with each intake, veins on the verge of bursting from the sudden added pressure and he was sure he would be chipping a tooth if he continued clenching his jaw as hard as he had been doing so far.

But he couldn’t stop himself anymore. It was all too much. All reason was thrown out the window after that comment, something that dug deeper than Seungmin would have ever thought it would.

He’d stepped on a lion’s tail, and now he had to face the consequences.

Bae’s chest heaved violently, his heart hidden inside thumping so fast it was a wonder how it had remained in its rightful place. That vicious, disgustingly familiar feeling gripped at his throat, nearly choking him to death if he didn’t let it out.

In a blink his arm moved to grip the younger’s hoodie better, shouting breaking out around him. The boy in his grip, locked underneath him, looked like a deer caught in headlights, his entire being shaken down to its core.

Bae hated that look. Hated whenever someone looked at him that way, those wide, fearful eyes haunting him in his nightmares relentlessly. He hated how Seungmin visibly shrank in on himself when one of his hands moved, a breath caught in his throat from the sheer fear, even though it wasn’t a movement fueled by violence. Bae hated how those eyes glistened, hated how that revolting feeling inside him writhed in delight at the sight, but out of everything, he hated the most how Seungmin thought he would actually hurt him.

He hated how even that wasn’t enough to cool himself off, the need to move around and destroy still resided inside besides that deep hurt, begging to take control.

So, with a silent exhale, he stood up and wordlessly went to the door, not answering anyone’s questions as only a silent click could be heard behind him.

He’d heard Chan explaining to the others what had happened as he was leaving, the older aussie being the person who had helped Bae keep his anger issues in check easier. Because as calm and collected as he could look, Bae was only a human with countless flaws. And this one, this one had to be his least favourite. He’d gotten better at controlling it over the years of being an idol, but he couldn’t get rid of it. At one point, this bubbling anger would always break onto the surface, burning everyone around him.

And he never failed to dread that moment.

That was how he always found himself in the gym, the punching bag taking all his frustrations and anger away slowly with each punch, his head feeling calmer and emptier. It was how he had gotten into regularly exercising, actually, the act being his much needed anchor.

Because even after all those words, all the days’ frustrations as he filmed countless scenes and practised certain moves over and over again, he would rather die than hurt one of the members, people who had become his family.

“Hey.”

Changbin’s soft voice was a sudden change, something that Bae wasn’t expecting and so his next punch missed, the bag hitting his body instead and causing him to nearly fall to the ground.

“Hey, hey, I gotcha. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you like that.” - the younger male said, helping Bae gather his balance once more. “No, it’s okay.”

It was a bit awkward after that, none of them uttering a single word, merely shuffling in place or fixing their clothes. Bae of course knew why his dongsaeng was there, it couldn’t have been more obvious. Changbin’s eyes looked everywhere but at him, no matter how hard Bae had tried.

A heavy sigh left the younger’s lips, eyes finally meeting Bae’s with a heavy gaze, yet no words accompanied them.

A droplet of sweat glided down the taller’s skin as he closed his eyes, a silent sigh leaving his form.

“It’s okay. I heard Chan hyung explaining things after I left, and the younger ones had to know about it sooner or later.” - Bae said, his voice softer than he had hoped for. “But-” “No buts, Bin, it’s okay. And it wasn’t your fault either. I just… didn’t have the best day. I apologise, truly.” “You aren’t completely right, Hyung. Comeback season is on our necks and this time around, you have the most work put onto your shoulders. Every day you come back past midnight, looking like a zombie, and yet you keep doing chores around the dorm as well. You shouldn’t need to come back to such a scene on top of that, where two of us are fighting, especially when I know how you can be.”

Bae could merely blink down at his younger friend, not having expected that at all.

“Oh come on, say something, don’t just blink at me with those pretty eyes of yours!”

A faint red dusted Bae’s ears at those words, smacking Changbin’s shoulder in return.

“But what was that about anyway?” “You mean the argument? Oh, well… We just haven't really seen eye-to-eye with each others’ performances lately. I… I kept criticising every line he sang, and in return, he kept doing the same with my rap. It all bursted out when I mentioned how he should redo a few lines tomorrow.”

Bae didn’t need to say anything, he could see how Changbin had already reflected over his actions. Regret was clearly written on his face, a slight frown always sitting on his pouty lips. And those deep, dark eyes of his told entire tales of the same thing, and thus, Bae just stood beside him silently.

“Don’t look at me like that, Hyung! I know I fucked up, okay? I shouldn’t be this harsh on him, but I just. I just want him to do his very best, y’know? Because I know he can. He’s our main vocalist, and this track suits him so well.” - Changbin’s voice turned so tender near the end that it almost broke Bae’s heart, because he understood it all.

He also wanted the others to do their very best, to encourage them and help them become that new, best version of themselves. Everyone wanted that from the other, and sometimes that want turned into something hurtful, as regretful as it was.

“Anyway, come on, let’s go so we can both apologise to him, yeah? I would hate for him to go to sleep like this, to actually believe the stupid things I accidentally threw at him.”

With Bae’s silent nod the two were off, the short journey back to their dorms passing in silence. Both males were stressing over their apologies, which words to say that would earn them forgiveness. But deep down Bae feared that he wouldn’t ever be forgiven, his actions harsh and unlike him when his anger took the reins. He knew that all too well. After all, that was the reason why he always went to hide away at the gym at such times.

His stomach churned and rolled around with each step, and much too soon, they were at the door already. Neither of them reached for the handle, as they just stood there, hesitant.

Much too suddenly the door swung open, the person they had least expected standing on the other side, having expected them.

“Come in.” - he said, the two obediently following him into the living room.

It was clear Seungmin had been crying, the skin underneath his eyes scrubbed red and raw. Bae’s heart clenched at the sight, that deep-rooted self hatred only burying itself deeper into his chest. There was a lump growing inside his throat, and he knew that if he were to just stand there, he would be unable to say anything later.

“I’m sorry, Seungmin.” - he whispered out, his voice nearly breaking from hidden emotion.

He turned away to leave, that familiar burning appearing behind his eyes, but something held him back. A quick glance told him that it was Seungmin himself, his small hand peeking out from his sweater paws. A habit he only practised when he was feeling upset.

“No, Hyung, stay. Please.” - the boy whispered out, tugging at his sleeve once more with such desperation that Bae couldn’t deny, even as a stray tear rolled down his skin.

And so the three stayed in the living room over warm cups of tea and ramyeon, talking everything out. Although the damage had been done, scars could heal if looked after properly; and none of them were planning to leave.

[the-spam-specialist]

Drabble idea. Jax is being a jerk to Pomni and Caine steps in to be her knight in shining armor?

He's more like a guard dog than a knight LMAO

Grounded

Characters: Pomni, Jax, Caine

Word Count: 500-ish

Pomni nestled into the oversized beanbag, the soft fabric a welcome comfort. She squinted at the pages of "Gloinks: A Confusing History," a peculiar book Caine had excitedly thrust upon her. It was, to be frank, bizarre – all about Gloinks and their life cycle. And...reproduction, oddly enough. Still, she appreciated the gesture. Caine was always trying his best to be nice.

Just as she was starting to decipher a particularly dense paragraph on Gloink mating rituals, a shadow fell over her. Jax, all purple fur and cocky smirk, leaned over her. "Well, well, well, look who it is," he drawled, his voice a grating purr. "Occupying my beanbag chair."

Pomni sighed, marking her page with a gloved finger. "You weren't sitting here when I got here. Plus, there are a million places to sit."

"Details, details," he said, waving off her comment. "I was intending to sit here. Therefore, it's mine." He then shrugged, reached behind her, and before Pomni could react, he flipped the beanbag, sending her sprawling onto the floor with a surprised yelp.

Jax cackled as Pomni pushed herself off the floor. He settled into the now-empty chair, "Much better."

But he never got a chance to get comfortable. Instead, he was suddenly hoisted into the air. He spun around, surprised to find his eyes meeting Caine's. The usual cheer in the AI's big eyes was replaced with something akin to…irritation.

"Jaaaaax," Caine's voice was lower than usual, "were you being mean to Pomni?"

Jax, dangling awkwardly, felt a flicker of unease. He’d never seen Caine’s face like this. It wasn’t quite anger, more like…disappointed sternness. "Just a little joke, Caine. She's too uptight anyway."

"Bullying of my friends will not be tolerated!" Caine announced, his voice regaining some of its usual pep, though a steely edge remained.

Jax crossed his arms as he was set back down on the floor, “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, molars?”

Caine's hummed in thought for a moment. He kicked his feet a bit as he got an idea, "I know! I'm going to banish you to your room! Because you're grounded, mister!"

Jax blinked, the smugness fading, "Wha-grounded? You can't just-"

"You can shut up now," Caine said, producing a small remote control from seemingly nowhere and pressing the single red button on it.

The floor beneath Jax opened with a sudden thump, and he plummeted into the darkness. His surprised yells echoed through the pit.

After the trapdoor closed, Caine carefully righted the beanbag chair. He then gently lifted Pomni, putting her back into it as if nothing had happened.

"There you go, Pomni! Now you can get back to your reading!” He beamed, all traces of agitation gone.

Pomni, still slightly bewildered, could only nod and give a small smile, "Th-Thanks, Caine."

She glanced at the floor where the trapdoor had opened, then back at the cheerfully oblivious AI. He was certainly full of surprises. But she could confidently say that she appreciated this one.