#ahhh this made my night!
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AHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! Literally, just Expectations vs Reality lasjdflasdjf oh my gosh, that's so evil and right up Eclipse's alley! The blood and violence and fire (including leaving his brothers defeated hehe) and his favor properly repaired! RIP Gregory... That kiss though!!! detailed in red blood and pink blush! It's got me swooning a little a little, ngl ♥
But sike! Eclipse thought. I love that Eclipse is so disappointed and Gregory is casually tossing out the dummy that got stabbed lol The 'NOTHING' from vigilante is gold!
Gosh, I adore this so much! Eclipse daydreams look something like this (not the ending though lol)
Thank you so much for sharing! ♥
@naffeclipse Mafia Eclipse expected when he proposed y/n join his side lmao:
I don't know what to else to add
Alternative caption: Eclipse gets bitches
#ahhh this made my night!#i love it when Eclipse thinks it's got it but then yoink#nuh uh#sleuth jesters#sleuth jesters fanart#ALSO THE FREAKING SPIDERMAN POINTING MEME ALSJDFLASDJFLASFD#AHHHHAHAH!
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Mike 🐾
🐾: draw a character with their favorite animal
I'm sleepy so this is a very quick one, but UGH what a cute prompt! I feel like Mike would be a cat person :') (Art prompt game)
#So I realize I hardly draw pre-scoop Mike! I just really like drawin him as a zombie BUT im like. let's draw him alive this time lmaoo#I also NEVERRR draw animals so i tried! thank god for references#these are SO FUN#michael afton#my art#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#asks#ask game#im allergic to cats and it's so sad bro#i love em but i itch and sneeze and ahhh SAD#ahhhhhhhh ngl this is one of my fave things ive drawn! because it made me so damn HAPPY ahh
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New video tomorrow on my channel! I had an idea yesterday for a short animation, and I finished the sketch layer and decided that I’m gonna post that and then also post the finished version once I do finish it
This is to give me more content but also to help me remember that it’s okay if not everything I post is polished/finished/cleaned (I’m stuck in a really bad mindset when it comes to posting on my YouTube channel and I put a lot of pressure on myself to have clean and polished work, and so I’m trying to feel okay about my videos on there again)
#doctorsiren#five night’s at freddy’s#fnaf#william afton#purple guy#spring bonnie#youtube thumbnail#fnaf fanart#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#dude I hate looking at my analytics on YouTube because since I’ve been posting videos that aren’t SSAU related#my channel hasn’t been doing as well as it used to and yikes that has been weighing on my brain#like I WANT to work on SSAU but I’ve scared myself into thinking that it’ll be this huge thing and I’ve kind of#made it into this huge project and it’s my fault I know but#ahhh I hate anxiety so much I just wish I could feel okay about my performance on my channel again :(#sorry for the vent I’ve just been feeling really down about my channel for a long time now :(#anyways look at the silly murder guy
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Coming in to play! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Webkinz hours! The cute lads have wedged their way back to the forefront of my mind haha#I'm honestly really glad I kept all my Webkinz plush over time and they've survived all the moves and whatnot#Some are still missing - most notably my horses for some reason - but I have the rest onhand and they're still cute and soft and I love them#Getting the opportunity to name and play with them as a young'un made them stick quite strongly in my mind ♪#And I still find some of my design sensibilities with their roots in the gameplay/game design/UI design/interactivity#I think it inspired some of my Video Game Design brain which is an aspect of myself I'm quite happy with :D#And I /love/ plushies probably now more than ever <3 So I'm doubly glad younger me didn't get rid of them haha#Got my lineup that featured in Tala's Requestober this year ♥ I left out a couple for what are probably obvious reasons ahem ahem#If you haven't seen what the Official design of the clownfish is in Webkinz... The plushy is arguably worse lol why that one of all of them#Hire me to design Webkinz fish I dare you#There are actually several cute fish - and several ugly ones! Lol I don't know why they're so inconsistent#It's not like the differences between Signature and Classic! Most of the fish are Classic or eStore! I don't know what gives lol#Anyway lol the other one I left out was my Night Mare since I couldn't remember his name either - which is a shame! I liked him#I still have some fairly clear memories of playing Webkinz with those lads <3 Of the different rooms and relationships and games#It's nostalgic! It's nice to reminisce on something so cheery and cute and light and fluffy :)#As for the rest hehe - I tend to pick up 'kinz whenever I find them at secondhand shops and the like - much like Lalaloopsies#They're out of production! Harder to find - rare and valuable haha totally#I haven't found any New With Tags so far but I'm on the hunt still!! Someday it'll be my turn...#But I Have found some really adorable fellows for cents on the dollar haha <3 Two Blue Whales and a Sheep and Duck!! So cute#My latest find was a Lil'kinz Lioness Cub and she is - So tiny <3 Really adorably constructed with a fluffy nose ahhh ♪#The Long Eared Bunny is my current Free 'kinz! I unfortunately lost the account with Baaby so I had to start over again but that's alright#This time I've got Embroidery and she's in a closet cosplay of Edgar haha - black-and-grey striped shirt with dark pants and round glasses#And angel wings! I was able to snag those from the Ganz website and they're perfect honestly haha ♥ She won an Open Beauty Pageant with it!#Couple of her with Sugar - my first Webkinz I got to play with since Diamond's tag was thrown away :') Sugar's my oldest 'kinz <3#And of her with smol's Free 'kinz since I convinced her to play with me off and on haha - her Leonberger named Borgus :D#And then one final one of what I'd really like - a Webkinz Spider ;;♥ I /know/ they've made spider objects that are really cute!#And April Fools' fake pets of a spider!! Give me the fluffy spider please Ganz even if there's no plushie I just need to pet the spider
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Satoru Gojo x GN!reader
Reader is shorter than Gojo. Mentions of reader being an artist and doing fiber crafts. Two mentions of reader wearing glasses
The world is a bit muffled around the edges for you as you frustratingly try to complete the same task you’d been trying to complete for the last… the last… you weren’t sure anymore. Without meaning to a little frustrated growl slips through your teeth and your exhaustion bruised eyes narrow. Just as you’re about to toss the offending lump of yarn, a pair of large hands envelope your own from behind, making you gently place your work down.
You nearly jump out of your skin and if not for the height difference between you and your partner you probably would have cracked your head and his jaw with the force of it. You get out a yelp before he speaks.
“When was the last time you slept? You were up when i went to bed and still up before i got up to leave this morning and i’m pretty sure you were working on this then too.” You can picture the displeased tilt of his mouth before you even tip your head back to look at him. He tuts upon seeing your face. There are deep bruises under your eyes and your eyes are reddened from strain.
Blindfold around his neck and still in his uniform Satoru stares down at you. One of his hands leaves yours to gently brush his thumb under your glasses and below your eye. “I’m fine, Satoru, you know i cant sleep sometimes..”
“You look half dead and you nearly threw your project, and i have personally experienced how precious you are about your work,” he says with both exasperation and fondness.
His mind goes back to your time in school before the two of you were together. You were just a shy and gloomy first year with an interestingly technique to him at that point. So he was more than a little curious when he saw you curled up drawing. He’d plucked your sketch pad from your hands but didn't get very far before you bit his wrist of all things and yanked your sketchbook back. It may not have been his first impression of you but it was a lasting one.
He’s broken from the memory by you huffing. “I’m fine really,” there’s an edge of irritation to your voice that you’ve rarely held with him since becoming adults. Under the irritation he can hear how exhausted you are, you voice pitched low. You haven’t pulled away from him at least. Satoru takes that to mean you haven’t entirely hit your tired tantrum threshold and really he’d rather you don’t hit that point.
You’re looking away from him when he next speaks, your neck no longer tilted back uncomfortably to look back up at.
“That settles that then.”
“Settles wha-, Satoru put me down!”
“I’ll put you down once we’re in the bedroom. You need rest. When you stay up this long you start getting cranky and worse you get mean to yourself.” He wasn't wrong but you still flail in protest.
You’re exhausted though and even the small effort to insist you’re fine makes exhaustion weigh heavy on your bones. “…are you going to stay with me at least?” You question with a pout, one he’s sure you’re not even aware you’re making.
He places you on your shared bed, his eyes are bright and a hint of his usual smile tugs at his lips now that he knows you’re actually going to lay down. “Pretty sure you don’t want to cuddle me until i’ve showered, sweetheart.” He boops you on the nose before moving toward the bathroom. “Get comfortable and i’ll be back out before you know it and i won’t even smell like a dead curse anymore.”
He’s pretty sure you’re aware of the pout you’re giving him now and he laughs before closing the bathroom door behind him.
When he gets out of the bathroom snow white strands of hair are dripping into his face and clean sweat pants sit low on his hips. You're not sure when he grabbed them but to be fair your attention wasn't the sharpest right now. You sit up from your curled position in the middle of the bed and make grabby hands at him.
He blows a wet strand of hair away from his face in vain. “Gotta dry my hair first, Sweetheart.”
“Bring me the dryer?”
The look he gives you is both warm and amused as he turns to go retrieve the hair dryer. You were pretty sure he wanted to say something teasing but he refrained.
You’re already sitting at the edge of the bed when he returns dryer in hand. Plugging in the dryer he sits down, his warm back pressing against your legs. Nothing is said as you begin to dry his hair. His eyes slip shut as you work, your fingers combing through the soft drying strands.
The dryer clicking off and the ensuing silence prompt him to get up. your fingers trail over his back as he stands causing little goosebumps to rise in the wake of your touch. You set the dryer on the night stand just as he turns and crawls into bed, he slips your glasses off your face and gently sets them by the hair dryer before pulling you into his arms, shuffling you both to the middle of the bed to lay down.
“You really should get more rest you know. How long have you been awake?”
A moment of hesitation, you know he won’t like the answer “… i think thirty eight hours give or take…?” Dipping your head under his chin. You feel more than hear him sigh.
“___, i swear i’m going to have to start sedating you. Your sleep medication certainly isn’t doing the job.” You feel a kiss pressed to the top of your head.
“ ‘m fine really,” the words slur a little as you yawn into his neck.
He squeezes you a little. “uhuh sure you are” He can tell you’re fading fast and there's not much conversation to be had. Especially with the way he's rubbing your back in soothing circles, coaxing you toward sleep.
Before you're fully gone though your lips press against his neck "Love you, 'toru."
He smiles and kisses the top of your head. "Love you more." if you'd still been awake he knows you would have protested.
@nanamikentoseyebags
#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gn!reader#ahhh so i started writing this last night because i'd been up for a long while#and it made think about what Gojo would do if he caught you getting frustrated because you're sleep deprived#hope it's okay iy's definitely not my best#probably ooc but i like writing gojo stupidly in love and soft with reader#rossi writes
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OF TONARI CLUB!
I, uh, m-made something f-for you.
Know that I'm totally embarrassing my ass over here, so... Don't laugh loud enough that I can hear you from over here!
Aaaaaand now, per Lyndis tradition, I'm gonna overexplain shits and turn a simple Ask into a whole ass Ramble!
-----------------------------(why is there no "Read More" partition in an Ask? I'm so embarrassed right now goddamn it)-------------------------
If you're short-sighted, try removing your glasses or contact lenses and look at this picture. I just did and it's suddenly even prettier!
I actually planned to draw your Sonicsona at first. And then I realized I deadass couldn't even draw Base Sonic. Then I thought I should draw a mole. I realized I also couldn't draw a mole. I thought I should just go for the easiest shit and draw ToFu. I realized I could not draw either one of them, too.
Because I cannot draw, I cheat! I mean I turn things into shapes (chiefly triangles, though not all of them) and then color them and hope that something shows up. This is me using this scientific /+ philosophical concept called Emergence.
No, I didn't just say THAT to sound like I have a technique of any kind, trust. It's so totally a technique—my very productive ass told me.
I remember you saying your favorite color is something like pink, blue, and stuff? It was from that tag game from last year. Hence, I decided I should create a context so I could draw an obscene amount of pink and blue.
If I'm being honest, it took me less than a millisecond to come up with the exact context—Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom is abundantly blue.
And since I always wanted to sneak ToFu in, I thought I would make a purplish-pink dusk. And then I will sneak those stargazing two in.
Come on. Everyone knows those ToFu panels. Even someone like me, who had not seen that part of the manga yet, knows.
Bless Tonari for being so relaxing to color.
HOWEVER! Fushi's limited-ass color presented a big problem for my cheat-drawing. How many combinations of "white" can you even make before you zoom out and see... nothing?! So I basically sabotaged them. That's what you get for being difficult, you mopey, neck-crick-possessing, fragile-enough-to-be-blown-by-the-wind cutie doofus.
I made up the color of their pants. I didn't even refer to their Nameless Boy drip when I decided on the color. I assed that part.
Yes. I admit I put a shit ton of effort into coloring Zelda. This version of Zelda is my kin, you know. Anyway, I like the way her, uh, shirt turned out.
I also like how the Master Sword turned out, but there was so much blue I ended up requiring outlines to distinguish it from Link's shirt and the sky. Told ya I have no technique or skill. I cheat through and through
I was too lazy to draw those sky islands. Besides, the ToTK side is already saturated with details.
What the fuck issa "proportion?" Everyone's head is an orange. The difference, Nova, is whether it's a Mandarin Orange or an Orange.
I don't know if I overdid Dinraal's draconic mane. It looks like she's wearing a wig. At least she is different from how she initially looked—a red tapeworm outfitted with chicken legs.
I admit I put more effort than any Past Me would have into Dinraal because a certain mutual is very, ah, particular about dragons.
Drawing two of your favorite ships for their show of devotion was a completely deliberative choice on my end. Did you also realize that both Link and Fushi had a short, small, low ponytail and that both Zelda and Tonari had similar hair? I believe it's due to me hitting my drawing skill limitation.
There is actually an Easter Egg of some sort in this picture. It's not the ugly doodle thing, no. That thing is me. I'm not an Easter Egg; I'm a ghost.
I'm not telling you what that Easter Egg is. I'm fine with it never being discovered; it'd be like those secret levels in old video games.
But if you DID discover it, come tell me what you think it is!
---------------
I hope you like it enough! Instead of it giving you a migraine, that is. Surely my """art"""... doesn't require a trigger warning... right?
Have a good one, mai bruzha!
---Lyn
A RAMBLE FROM YOU LYN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BRITHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! COUPLED WITH ART BY YOU????? AND OF MY FAVORITE FELLAS????? What did I deserve to be so blessed ;A; 💕💕💕
I’ll spare us all a little extra scrolling on my part by adding that read more you were fretting about, I have my own ramble upcoming!
I KNOW YOURE ON YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ARTISTIC OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS ART!!! AND DAMN GOOD ART TOO!!!!!!! This is!!!!!!!!!!! I want this made into stained glass I want to make this the permanent window to me bed roOM LYN THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ART STYLES!!!! There’s no such thing as cheating in art, it’s all art!!! “Cheating” is a style, no technique is a style!!! I should know I have none either, hehe -w-‘ your art may be some type of cubism? Hehe idk I’m not an art student :3 Either way this is absolutely gorgeous I’m in LOVE!!!
It’s so creative and well done and I LOVE your eye for detail, the lighting is inspired!!!! Like the way the sun hits the space behind Zelda is so pretty, AND ZELDA IS SO PRETTY!!!!!! EVERYRHING IS SO PRETTY, I CANT FOCUS ON ONE THING BECAUSE I KEEP JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT IT (every thing, every last detail!!! Is that a little you in the middle? Is that the Easter egg???? I could just pick you up and pat your little head!!! 😭 I know you don’t love hugs but that’s how I’ll be standing if you’re ever ready for one!!!)
I should slow down maybe and pick a few things to focus on BUT I JUST CANT I LOVE IT ALL!!!! The two scenes just blend so well into one another that my eyes are just naturally being drawn back and forth between both of the scenery! Dinraal, who turned out AMAZIING BY THE WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERDONE, if anything I’m so glad you had fun working on her!!! She’s so gorgeous!!!! I bet your friend is so so proud of how well she looks!!! Oh but anyway, Dinraal naturally leads my eyes over to the sun/moon (and the 24, hehe, thank you!!! /)//(\ Your memory is astounding!!), which have their own beautiful rays of light leading down onto the adorable couples 😭 I love love LOVE the moonlight leading down onto Tonari and Fushi, and the fact that she’s pointing at it too like she can almost reach it? Beautiful! Gorgeous!!! And it just leads my eyes down to them too, there’s just such a natural circular flow here, no wonder I keep getting caught in a loop of admiration! 😁
The blues and the pinks, and the stars on the ToFu side!!! I just noticed them and they’re everything to me!!!! Hahaha I’m so glad Tonari was relaxing to color hehe, same for me, something about her is just so lovely and calming when she’s relaxed 🥰 As for Fushi’s colors, I didn’t notice! Even after you pointed it out it looks good to me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is from someone who never references colors though, I’m so loosey goosey about everything -w- BUT YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM WAS GREAT, THEIR SHAPE IS VERY VISIBLE AND EASY TO MAKE OUT hehe :3 I love their crossed little legs 🥰
Zelda being your kin is so good to know hehe, I’ve always been drawn to all versions of Link myself! I think we’ve been perfectly set up to “play dolls” with these characters in the future, so to speak! Aaaahh they can’t have been easy to draw, there’s a reason I almost never dabble in drawing those two and their intricate outfits, but you make it look effortless!!! Zelda’s shirt turned out amazing, and I’m stuck looking at her little triangle braids!!!! I don’t know why I’m so fixated on that it’s just adorable!!! 😭💕 What a lovely technique, man, I’m so enchanted! AND THE MASTER SWORD, I know you called it cheating BUT I LOVE THE LINE WORK, it makes the sword stand out, almost like you lined that specific part with some sort of melted gold??? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
This is gorgeous and beautiful in every which way and thank you!!!! For everything!!! For this beautiful drawing and for giving me a chance to ramble and giving me something gorgeous to look at for the rest of my day, and for indulging in both of my silly little ships /)//(\ I’m so glad I don’t need glasses because I love every inch of your art, thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Gosh it’s so so so lovely 😭💕 you’re so lovely!!!!
I don’t know how to say goodbye so I guess I’ll just say good night for now! Thank you for thinking of me… I’ll have a wonderful day, so long as you promise me you’ll have a wonderful night along side me 🥰
Goodnight, Mai Bruzha!
- Nova
#Lyn the Zelda Kin (I’ll come up with a better tag some day I PROMISE 💕 haha!!!)#Friend Rambles 💕💕💕#long post#IM SO STOKED YOU HAVE NO IDEA AAAHHHHHHHHHH KICKING MY FEET#I’m typing the tags before I actually type the main body heehee I’m gonna jump over the moon!!!!!#and thank you for the letter too I’ve been rereading it! I’ve been getting back into writing letters of my own and wow!!!#the quality of yours are amazing!! I may have to take a note or two on how to craft a good one that one was amazing!! and thank you :’)#ok editing: this nova back after her ramble in the body text#I’m sorry for how disjointed this all looks! I kind of tackled my response based on where I was looking at at any given time#and I wanted to get my reply back before you hit the sheets for the night!!! still it took me some time but I hope I made it!!!#ahhh Lyn I hope you rest well! I’m going to have an amazing birthday and you’re a contributing factor in that my friend.. Mai Bruzha!!!#I know for a fact I’m forgetting details too like just the fact that I love the idea of Tonari and Fushi chilling at night#chatting and looking at the stars and enjoying each other’s company. my favorite scenes of them are always them shrouded in darkness and#covered in some sort of fireside lighting I just!!!!!! they’re so good in the dark thank you for drawing them at night#they are a moon couple to me… and ZeLink is a sun couple to me like idk how you got all these details DOWN about me! maybe we see the world#similarly :3 good to know I have someone in the world who sees them the way I do 😁#aahhhh I’ll let you get off to sleep now dear friend!!! and thank you again! thank you thank you thank you!!!!#this is truly shaping up to be the best birthday ever!
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companies in june
+ extra side doodle while i was taking a break from drawing the main thing
#touhou#touhou project#東方project#chimata tenkyuu#was originally supposed to actually be for pride month but i procrastinated and kept forgetting and ran out of time :(#i was gonna do this thing where i made the colors on her dress into flags and stuff...#but i'm too tired now so have this instead#sorry if this ends up being a double post i tried posting this last night but tumblr was being an ass#my art ahhh
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last night i actually got back into writing after probably a year? of not having any motivation to and it's so exciting but god i'm so rusty akfjdks
#its a fallout fic obviously dont @ me 🙈#i think i churned out like 3 pages?? which for me thats actually a lot in one sitting haha#my favorite part of writing though is going back to edit and embellish#i try not to stress about writing the new bits because i constantly go back to edit#like i know towards the end of last night i was running out of juice 😅#im just!! fallout prime has me so motivated ro write again i cant believe it#also because ive been absolutely DEVOURING any and all cooper fic they arent updating quick enough im too impatient#so i was like what do you mean i have to write more if i want more FINE ill do it myself#already mulling ideas and storylines and ocs ahhh#ill never pass up the opportunity to make new ocs ive already made like 4 new fallout ones 😅#picture a tiny hamster bouncing off the walls of their enclosure thats my brain for fallout rn
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Weezer last night was AWESOME!!!!! they played all my fav songs IN A ROW!!! so so so so amazing i loved it with all my little heart!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#blue voyage#palm springs show!!!!#nobody talked abt how genuinely insane Flming Lips are…. the leadman was bleeding out during the first song!#and oh my god am the luckiest girl ever. i went to weezer FOR FREE BECAUSE MY FRIEND KIERAN#LIKE HIS DAD WON 2 TICKETS FOR FREE SO THEY WERE GONNA GO TOGETJER#THEN THEY WON TWO MORE SO HIS MOM AND BROTHER WERE GONNA GO WITJ THEM BUT THEN ONNFRIDAY#HIS DAD DECIDED HE DIDNT WANNA GO ANYMORE SO KIERAN INVITED ME CUZ IM THE#NO 1 WEEZER FAN ACCORDING TO HIM AND AHH#AND AHHH I SAW THEM FRO FREE BASICALLY AND I BOUGHT THIS SHIRT TOO AND THEREWAS THIS SUPER JICE LADY WHO BOUGHT IT FOR ME#if her daughter is on Tumblr; i love u so much thank u so much u made my night 🥹 that was the sweetest thing ever thank u so so so much#LIKE AHH#I KNEW THEY LOOKEDLIKE NICE PPL 😎
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when the bowels get irritable:
#IBS#I'm feeling so sick rn I made this low effort meme to cope#it's just me and my prescription meds against the world :')#I feel like shit ahhh fuck ufjcjchshfh#this is gonna be a long night huh#(ok to reblog if anyone finds this relatable hah)
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es skibidi toilet or whatever
#toopimpabutterfly#i made this while drying my hair#good day uncs ahhh#or night#its 9 Pm#what am i on about#skibidi or
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this third cup of coffee tastes like molecules are actually little pieces of love kissing each other making up our entire world. and so on. and also my heart is beating quite fast but that is because of the love and surely not the caffeine <333
#maybe I’ll be able to shower quickly for once! the past few days have been hard because my period’s coming up—I’ve been moving so slowly!#but ahhh the coffee’s so yummy again and I made cookies last night to enjoy this morning and the newsletter has been published and shared#and I love my friends!!! mwah!!!!!!!#whimsical.txt
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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feeling so emotional after the most fun wonderful and healing weekend 🥹
#i say weekend but it’s more the last couple days#slowly starting to process luke’s show on thursday and truly just feeling so much#the songs i hadn’t heard at boston calling were coincidentally the ones i was the most excited to hear and ahhh it was incredible#like place in me and comedown and i’m still your boy#i have no words#also!! motion!!#i did not expect to leave that show and have motion be one of my favourite moment of the night#it had been so long since i had so much fun in a crowd everyone was so hype<3#the pure joy i felt in that moment and how that was reciprocated by the people around me#priceless#starting line<3 still can’t believe i got to hear my favourite song in the world<3#fun fact i went to the show with my mom after my friend couldn’t go anymore#her coming to my rescue when i was starting to have doubts about going alone<3#and she loved it so much 😭#guys i love my mom#we made a whole weekend out of it and it was so nice#when i say this whole experience was so healing that’s part of it#to like have this much fun and to share that with my mom meant so much more to me than i realized#she knows wfttwtaf well and it was so cute to see her excited when she recognized a song 😭#also experiencing mum with my mom was indescribable#i just hugged her the whole time and kinda blacked out actually#so yeah!!!! this show turned out to be so much more than i could ever imagined#super happy with my experience with this tour and choosing to do boston calling and a show too#i can’t even talk about luke he was so perfect<3#more thoughts on this later when i reblog things probably
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wouldn't it be funny if I could write again lollollol........
#got a very sweet comment on a fic today and I was like oh my god. oh my goddddddd. ppl *still* like my stuff.#ppl still like my silly little stupid little stuff that I had stupid silly fin working on & it's dumb and silly but I shared it!#and ppl like it!#and I'm like not pushing myself anymore. like before I was kinda trying to force shit to happen#like sitting in bed with an open notebook/laptop like CREATE BITCH!#and I'm not doing that anymore lol and being on my meds has really made me feel SO much better#but also like I just don't.... have any ideas anymore. can't rotate blorbo like a rotisserie chicken anymore#I lay down to go to sleep now and because my body is not operating under severe extreme toxic anxiety levels anymore#I just fckn fall asleep. like I'm OUT. good night. sleepin. snoozin. zonked. 7+ hours.#no more blorbo thoughts at the end of the day I'm TIRED and my brain FINALLY shuts off#I hope one day I'll write again. I had so much fun with it. I have had a couple Thoughts#since I have been on my meds#but they're nothing more than a few quick sentences scrawled in a notebook.#it's like I'm doing so much other stuff and having fun in other ways and SLEEPING FINLALLY SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY#there's just like zero processing left for original blorbo ideas#this doesn't make sense and I bet you were all relieved cause I haven't ranted in tags in like months but hahaha#🤡 I STAY HONKIN'!!!! 🤡#(I'm actually really in a really good place mentally rn I promise like the best I've felt in years I'm just ahhh!! tonight lol)#erin explains it all
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2023 reads // twitter thread
A Day of Fallen Night
slow character focused epic fantasy prequel to priory of the orange tree
set during the grief of ages, when Wyrms are on the rise and devastating cities across the world
the teen heir to the throne, a middle-aged tomb keeper at the priory, a young warrior from the north, and princess from the mountains of the east
motherhood, survival, politics
#A Day of Fallen Night#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#very good#i liked it more than priory tho i think that might just be. new things in the same world feelings?#Reading the majority of this while snowed in on a mountain >>>#cool lava creatures. many dragons. good characters#Lesbian hair combing....#it’s basically all the 4 main POVs but there’s one or two other ranodm chapters thrown in? the random sabran chapter threw me off lol#i would have liked Glorian and dumai to meet! What rly came of their dream connection?#(i assume it was actually them?)#Also was it implied that sabran and someone (canthe? Tunuva?) also had one?#tell me more pls#glorian my beloved#my main complaint is that glorian being aroace is like.....vagued about a few times in the beginning then barely at all when the narrative#is directly forcing her to think about it??? yet there's one line about 'if i had a choice i wouldn't choose to have sex at all'#there's how many? 800? pages? and there could have been so much more nuanced introspection about it#obviously I wouldn't want that to be like. telling us she's sex repulsed yet has to have sex for months anyway.#but she could think about the fact that she's sex neutral or whatever for more than 2 seconds#anyway back to general thoughts there are things that made me sad :((((#but also ahhh so good#i'm glad someone said it was slower than priory bc i think that's a good expectation to have#also i will say that like; the wider plot is basically the same? it's just the fact that it follows different characters that makes it a dif#(like obviously. but i mean that a lot of sort of worldbuilding reveals are exactly the same things)
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