#ah this really was a long time coming
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i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo
#god i had a fever this entire morning and afternoon so I think it was my inability to do anything that finally pushed me to finish this#seriously it took a month... disapointing#more disappointing is that i didn't have the time to tear up the internet in order to find what a professors break room looked like in 1899#if there was such a thing#really tragic#ah yea welp im very glad it's out there atleast. I want to release all of my black butler stuff so badly but guh...#tragedy has struck and i have been inspired to finally make a person project of my own#so that's taking a long time#but not to worry after like 5 years and some pondering i know well that black butler will always be one half of my brain#coooool#anyway i got more dorky stuff coming I hope??? wasn't lying before I am thinking of the midfords#and ill pray i can find the strength to get everything done soon#hope my rants are more tasteful after months of absence if ur still here#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#digital art#animation#animatic#video#weston college arc#black butler anime#black butler agares
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also yall we need to step back from the harryvision and understand that kim, at his core, is a loser (affectionate) like everyone else. so much out there wants to portray him as limitless patience, great cook, super organized, good handwriting, nice tasteful living quarters etc and that's fun to contrast him to harry but well i am here to RUIN that we need to take off the du bois glasses and appreciate kim for the weirdguy that he is. he has horrific fits of road rage and harry genuinely fears for his life riding along with him and witnessing the generational curses this man is capable of unleashing upon the stupid little fucks that cut him off on the 8/81. he has never had the time or space or budget to learn to cook so he lives off deli sandwiches and butter noodles and the occasional grab-and-go fruit. he writes so much so frequently with such awful handwriting that he has invented a new form of shorthand and the moralintern is contacting him to create a cipher system for them. he has no resources to furnish and maintain a nice flat so it's like a slightly gentrified r/malelivingspace but with a table for his sewing machine and there's scrap fabric and thread and half-pinned half-hemmed pants strewn about the place. there are absolutely a bunch of shitty mockups of his old wirral character in the backs of his notebooks and he hasn't played it in years but if he ever picks it back up then his minmax high int high dex definitely-not-a-self-insert sidhe artificer is READY. everyone add your weirdguy kim thoughts NOW 👇
#the 'kim is so cool and confident etc' illusion shatters the moment martinaise is over and harry knows him outside of the one case#harry will be starry eyed about him for a long time regardless. but harry knows More now#harry like kim i dont know how to cook for myself please help :(#kim comes over. they attempt a dinner. the vegetables turn out undercooked but burnt somehow. the pasta is limp.#the chicken gives them food poisoning.#'are you... bad at cooking?' harry asks. kim pulls the eyebrow. they drop the conversation and harry never asks again#harry decides to try out wirral with a local group and tells kim. kim goes full nerd mode#kim walks him through character creation and gives him a full rules rundown from memory#introduces him to the prominent ttrpg settings and lore. it's a literal 8 hour conversation#at the end of it kim says 'and that's the basics' and harry gives him a Look and kim is like ah. i may have told on myself a bit there.#anyway that ends in harry DEMANDING to see kim's wirral character#kim (embarrassed) (proud of his character) (ashamed) (really wants to talk about his character) (needs help with backstory details)#anyway they end up workshopping their characters together.#kim at the end is like 'hm maybe your guy can be in mine's backstory' and harry goes '😣👉👈 is this first base...'#kiwipost#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi
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I still love you (Song: Still in Love with You by Deeps)
#scum villian self saving system#svsss#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#79#Wow I have not posted on the webstie in a hot minute#I also keep forgetting this acc is the one with the kira theme#I haven't drawn a jojo in a long time#but yknow I still love him quite a bit#In any case I finally finished this animation! wow! I'm very happy hehe I hope you all enjoy#I really gotta feed myself when it comes to Qi ge#I just don't really like how he's always the background character or a yandere if he's in the main light#can't I just have a sad and pathetic little guy? can't I just enjoy his guilt complex? I understand he has potential for yandere-isms#but you cannot deny that he is truly a coward and so so so mired in his own guilt I don't think he'd really be a good yandere due to that#but also because he's just a guy alsgkhal I said he has potential but honestly? I think its the kind to stay theoretical yknow#Anyways I just really like him and I need to feed myself so here I am#I'm really bad at searching for fandom content I usually just... have it fed to me cause the internet stalks me yknow? so Idk how to find#the qi ge content I want ah... unless its fics ha I'm scouring the ao3s I'm on page 134 on the scum villain fic search results I'm lookin'#anyways enjoy I'm gonna spend another 84 years making a new animation peace!
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as a Jewish transsexual, the Jewish ethno-nationalist¹ sales pitch has always left me cold.² over and over again, i've heard people plugging the State of Israel offer some form of the following: "history teaches that we can never fully trust non-Jews with political power to protect Jews; the only way to make sure Jewish people are always safe is to create and maintain a state where Jewish people have the political power, so we can look out for ourselves"
but the thing is, the worst transphobic harassment i've experienced in my life has come from Jews. i don't think this says anything about the relative transphobia of Jews vs non-Jews, anymore than the fact that most of my birthday presents come from New Yorkers says anything about the relative generosity of Californians, but still. the people who followed me out of the subway filming me while yelling transphobic abuse were Jewish. two of the most relentless boosters of the current wave of transphobia in the US — Ben Shapiro and Chaya Raichik — are Jewish. i should be safe in a state run by such people?
and the obvious response is to say that, well, this is about keeping me safe as a Jew, not necessarily as an anything else. it's a bulwark against anti-Jewish violence, not every other -ism under the sun.³ but the thing is, i'm not a potato-head person. you can't just snap off the trans part of me and the Jewish part of me and say the latter part is safe even when the first isn't. i'm 100% Jewish and 100% trans; if i'm not safe as a transsexual, i'm not safe as a Jew. and if i'm going to be having to fight transphobia anyway, what difference does it make if the people passing bills stripping my rights are Jews or not?⁴
if you really lean into the logic at play here — "no one outside a vulnerable demographic can be trusted to care about people in that demographic" — it's easy to wind up in absurdity. because if i can't trust goyim to have my back as a Jew and also can't trust cis people to have my back as a transsexual, perhaps i need a state run by and for Jewish transsexuals. but wait! white Jewish transsexuals are certainly regularly horrible to, eg, Black Jewish transsexuals, so we probably shouldn't be in the same state together, to say nothing of separating out the poor, the disabled, those without college degrees . . . and before you know it, you're committed to the idea that the only just world is one where we're each a state unto ourselves, perfectly safe in absolute isolation from one another — no society, no coming together across difference to lighten the burden of living, just infinite atomization, the perfect unending unwinnable war of all against all
and this, i think, reveals the fundamental futility of the project. as a transsexual, i don't think my safety will ultimately come from removing myself from people not like me. safety, i think, comes not from cutting ties, but from building them. i will only really be safe in a society that accepts difference, multiplicity, strangeness, variety. i will only be truly safe in a society where we come together — across the gulfs that separate us — to take care of one another
i think there are illuminating parallels with feminist/lesbian separatism here. in its most extreme versions, such separatism abandons the demand that women be safe around men and instead attempts the task of building a space without men for women to inhabit. similarly, it seems to me that Jewish ethno-nationalism abandons the demand that Jewish people be safe around goyim and instead attempts to build a space without goyim for Jewish people to inhabit.⁵ i think Jews can and must be safe among goyim. i think women can and must be safe among men. i think trans people can and must be safe among cis people. that is the kind of world i am committed to fighting for, not one where we give in to fear and retreat into gardens walled by suspicion and hostility⁶
i'm not going to pretend that that's an easy world to build.⁷ i'm not going to pretend i can point to a bunch of stable, just, pluralistic societies and go "eh, just do what they did!" (altho there's no shortage of societies i can point to that went the "this place is for us and only us" route and wound up producing dystopian nightmares⁸). i'm not even going to pretend that i think building a just world from where we are now is inevitable, or even that i always think it is possible. there are days it is very hard to believe. but i always think it's worth striving for. if a just world that guarantees a good life to all isn't worth striving for, what is? if we are to suffer defeat, let it be a slow defeat, a long defeat, a fighting defeat. i am not willing to give up on my neighbors. i am not willing to abandon the charge of seeking the good for those not like me. i am not willing to abandon the hope that will seek the good for me despite my strangeness to them. and i reject any philosophy or politics that asks me to do so
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¹i'm using "Jewish ethno-nationalist" here because i think it's been subject to less semantic dilution than "Zionist", and i want to avoid semantic arguments here as much as possible. whatever prescriptivist arguments you want to marshal that this or that term should mean X, i think it's clear that the descriptivist ship has long since set sail when it comes to "Zionism". (when pushed for specifics, i've seen self-professed Zionists and anti-Zionists outline essentially identical political programs, which certainly makes it seem to me that these terms are of minimal utility at best)
²obviously, what's happening on the ground is very bad. but critiquing what's happening on the ground often runs into severe questions of evidential reliability and can also leave the impression that Jewish ethno-nationalism is a good idea implemented badly, which is why i want to take aim at this level here
³given the European origins of this movement in its modern incarnation, i think it's unsurprising who gets imagined as "just a Jew" and not any other marked category. and from there, i think it's also unsurprising (if depressing) how various Jews who do exist in other marked categories have been and are treated by the "Jewish State" — the promised safety turns out to be predicated on all the usual axes of whiteness, wealth, ability, and so on
⁴indeed, i have often found that groups predicated on the idea that "we're all in alignment here" are often much more resistant to acknowledging members' various bigotries than groups not predicated on that assumption
⁵and, similarly, this attempt to cleave the world along one axis of hierarchy invariably reveals the inadequacy of one-identity-only frameworks for tackling the full complexity of the world. among other things, feminist/lesbian separatism has come under sustained critique from Black feminists like Barbara Smith for sundering ties of solidarity that are critical for fighting racism. victimhood and oppression are not fixed, ontological states, but fluid, shifting, contextual relationships. we cannot undo the snarlingly intertwined systems of oppression by replicating them in miniature
⁶the fear is certainly a real emotion; it is one i have felt at times myself. sometimes it is even based on an accurate perception of the world! but also: sometimes not. my fear of kitchen knives spontaneously levitating and flying around the room certainly feels real to me, but it's not a thing that can actually happen. one of the really hard things to do in the world, i've found, is parsing out the fears that are just feelings i'm having from the fears that tell me actual actionable information about the world and then striking a livable balance between reasonable precaution and paranoia. precautions against danger often come with their own set of risks: locking a door to keep out potential thieves ups the odds of being trapped in a building fire; using a different complex password for every site raises the risk of forgetting one and having a critical account shut down; the medications that drastically cut the frequency of debilitating migraines can raise the likelihood of other adverse health effects. more broadly, viewing neighbors with suspicion, fear, and distrust has a corrosive effect on the social fabric, and makes it harder to structure society to make sure everyone has food, clothes, housing, healthcare — all the things a society is supposed to do. (it's hard to convince people to take care of people they're afraid of, especially if they believe (rightly or wrongly) that they will have to give up something they care about (usually money, but also convenience, prestige, power) for that to happen.) and that corrosive effect can get very extreme — when fascism wants to recruit you to its cause, the sales pitch is usually less "hey, do you want to unleash horrific violence against those folks over there?" and more "hey, aren't you tired of being ~afraid~? don't you want to feel ~safe~? isn't it about time you had all the wealth, respect, and power that's rightfully yours and that's been kept from you for so long?". fear isn't the only way that horrors get unleashed, but it's a very potent one. (i don't think there's a formula for striking the right balance here. as with so many balancing acts, too much comes down to context and the specifics of all those involved, not least because the scale and nature of threats can vary so wildly. i believe that everyone deserves to be safe (insofar as any of us mostly hairless apes clinging to a thin crust of dirt on an iron ball whirling thru the cosmic void around a sphere of nuclear fire can be safe from loss, grief, accident, disaster, or misfortune...), but being and feeling are different matters, and pursuing the feeling of safety without limit can easily lead to logics of annihilation.) (and indeed, i am not the first to be struck by the fact that in many ways it is in the interests of the State of Israel, as a state, if Jews feel unsafe in the rest of the world, because that feeling of unsafety is so easily leveraged to both increase political support for the State of Israel and encourage Jewish people to leave the Diaspora and move to the State of Israel. which, unnervingly, is where you sometimes find the State of Israel and its agents taking the position that Jews don't belong anywhere that isn't the immediate environs of Jerusalem, a position that is ultimately indistinguishable from any number of dime-store Judeophobias)
⁷indeed, i think this is one of many places where it's easier to identify the problem than it is to solve it. many middle schoolers can explain the problem of Fermat's Last Theorem; barely a handful of professional mathematicians in the world could explain the proof. my cat can figure out how to break a vase even tho he can't reliably find a toy he's just been playing with when he's sitting directly on top of it (it's fine, he doesn't follow me on here, i can say that about him); in some cases, a skilled artisan can repair the vase so it functions again; no one in the world can turn back time so that the vase was never broken to begin with. it's easy to invent chessboard solutions to entrenched societal conflicts — move this border here, enact this constitution there, change this societal attitude for all involved, and hey presto!, utopia. but the world is not a game of chess. education, advocacy, activism, political organization, even wildcat direct action — these are all slow, effortful, uncertain processes, and everyone with a different vision of the future is also exercising their agency to change the course of events. i think societies are easy to break and hard to repair. in many cases, i don't really know how we go from here, the real world as it actually is with all its shattered bones and aching wounds and long-festering resentments, to there, a world of true justice. but i think it's worth trying. i think it's worth imagining. i hope you do too
⁸like, idk what even to say if "Germany for the Germans" doesn't set off alarm bells. even if they raised up a brand new continent from the ocean floor, i still think i'd be wary of the political project of building a ~Jewish state for the Jews~. i don't trust nationalism of any flavor. i think the Diasporic notion of feeling kinship with and responsibility for people all around the world regardless of borders, flags, kings, bureaucracies is beautiful and worth cherishing and protecting. i don't dream of finally being on top of the hierarchy; i dream of there not being a hierarchy to begin with
#the master's house is built of hierarchy and oppression; we cannot use hierarchy and oppression to dismantle it; in fact#attempting to do so will only result in building another master's house#lmao this is 2200 words long good luck#when i was exposed to it — either thru my fault or my teacher's who can say —#i understood “the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house” to mean like#“science and logical thinking are tools of the patriarchy and thus cannot be used in or to build a post-patriarchal world”#but over time i have come to understand it as#and i really do feel that a number of people looked at European ethno-nationalism and went#“hm. this seems bad. what if we made an ethno-nationalism for *ourselves*”#instead of like “ah yes the problem here is ethno-nationalism how can we Not do that”#anyway#i'm being restrained in adding useful tags to this b/c i'm sure it will turn into a cesspool if it goes viral#but#it's probably the clearest articulation i've written personally about what goes on behind my self-identification as a Diasporist#so there's that
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read the tags !! // officially quit
#⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀#ok first of all why am i writing in tags you may ask#well i find it less awkward to express in my tags rather in the actual post it self since im one hell of an awkward piece of shit hihi#ANYWAY TO THE TOPIC OF ME QUITING#this has been very long due#like i mean everyone has to have seen it coming#specially since i dont post as frequently and j lost most of my motivation#one. because school is my current priority#two. is my personal life !!! i’ve been vry vry busy keeping up with irl frends and also my family#but the main reason had to be my lack of motivation as in its non existent#next topic !!!#i will be deleting most of my asks and random posts soem of which are memorable to me will be rbloged to my personal acc !#ah and yes will i be coming back?#probably will be lurking time to time but who knows i might actually come back on joshuas bday solely to post a joshua mb HAHAHAHA#ilovemyman frr#I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS ON THE DAY JOSHUA ACTUALLY POSTED ON HIS IG#ok im getting sooooo off topic#but like hooray my last theme is actually jjong toram HAHAH#i actually quited before november like the end of oct but i was too lazy to make a post about it hehehe#but luvi knew ofc :>#anyway if were close moots frel free to add me in discord not like im actually really active#@stariaz. 🤓#who knows i might actually take this back if suddenly the little devil inside me decides to revive itself#anyway this is user k-yujin offically(?) signing off 🤓🤓#ALSOOO DOESNT MEAN I QUITED PPLCAN USE MY STUFF W/O GIVING CREDS !!! (ehem ehem my dividers 👁)#please give creds or i will literally come alive#i still have someone who acts as my eyes here even though j wont post no more#guys i have to wake up at 5 am gud night 🤩#also i cut my hair 😶#thabks for 3.4k though 🫵🫵
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triglycercule..
STOP I HAVENT FINISHED MY THANK YOU ART FOR THE FIRST BUNDLE OF JK AU DRAWINGS YOU SENT ME AND NOW YOURE GIVING ME THE FULL VERSION OF THE FOURTH ON E??? 🙁🙁‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️🙏🙏😭😭😭😭 THEH LOOK SO CUTE AND ADORABLE ANS PERFECT YOU DRAW THEM SO WELL I LOVE THE GRAYSCALE LOOK AND SEEINF THEM WITH LEGS THIS TIME IS SOOO CUTE I LOVE SEEING LEGWARMERS I M GENUINELY TEEKING GEEKING DYING IM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS‼️‼️‼️!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE A LEDGEND YIUR A GOD YOUR EVERYTHING THST THE WORLD NEEDED IM SO HAOPY SOMEONE DREW THE JK MTT I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THST MUCH EFFORT INTO IT.,,,,,.... theyre so happy they make ME so happy AND ASIDE FROM THST YOURE ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT ART THOUGH THIS IS JUST A sketch PROBABLY. clothing folds 🤤🤤🤤🤤 expressions 🤤🤤🤤🤤 hahhnds 🤤🤤🤤🤤 why do i feel like i shouldve see this artstyle from someone before. who are you gshaewru. what type of name is thatHUH??? NTBE TYPE OF NAMR AN AMAZING PERSON WOULD HAVE FOR THEIR UMBLR ACCOUNT YOURE SO AMAZING PLEASE DON'T DIE. ok but again thank you so much for the jk!mtt art i've never been more overjoyed in my life this is like a blessing from the gods themselves for me. NOBODY KNOWS HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME
#theyre so cute. theyre so cute. i will neber forget this#i will never move on from this i will forever remember thism gshaewru you are going to get everything that is coming for you. in a good way#WHO HAS FREE TIME TO DO THIS. WHO HAS FREE TIME TO MAKE ART OF A RANDOM TUMBLR ACCOUNTS LOWKEY CRINGE AU#i turned murderous and delusional freaks into cute schoolgirls and you thought. ah yes. time to draw that#AND TJEN YOU ACTUALLY DID IT YOU LUNATIC YOU ACTUALLY WENT AHEAD AND DID IT#i put jk au to the backburner ngl because i had other mtt content to do and think of snd finish#but ngl i might make more jk au designs then. i might make other aus in jk or at least resembling it#nanchatte seifuku my beloved. i cant wait to get back home and then try and replicate the jk mtts outfits with my own jk collection#THEYRE SOOOO CURE I CANT STOP LOOKING ST THIS#i need to make a comic on how horror's ribbon works i think#because you tried your best and i can see how you got the the idea that it was glued onto her head or something#but its actually tied around her skull. like it goes through the head wound and out from the bottom of the skull#DID I MENTION HOE CUTE THEY LOOKED HELP#i dont know if you ever knew this would make me this happy but it does make me this happy. incredibly happy#this is like giving a starving child a 5 course meal type of happiness#art for me takes so much time and energy and motivation to complete#and the fact that you made THIS PLUS THE OTHER THREE PHOTOS is just like#you HAD to have really wanted to draw them if you made that many in my eyes#ANS HOW LONG DID TJIS EVEN TAKE LIKE HELLO. i dont even think you've been following me that long#i love your srtstlye by the way its so amazing i cant describe it#the scribbly but also like. everything is meant to be where its meant to be. you know what youre doing#GENIUS. and they dont even look that horrendously not sans-like like i make them 💀💀💀💀#THEY LOOK LIKE THE MTT BUT LIKE. ALSO CUTE GIRLS. ITS THE PERFECT MIXTURE#tricule asks#stop with the jk fashion au content i wont be able to come up eith normal mtt ideas...... (i am thrilled st this no matter sorry i didnt me#jk fashion au
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Richard,
I hope you don't mind, but I happened upon you deep in thought in the castle courtyard and...well, the sight took my breath away.
I used a Muggle contraption (I believe they call it a camera) to capture these still images. You look almost corporeal...
E 🖤
E, my dear,
I am most intrigued by this Muggle contraption, and even more so — by how well you were able to capture me and my heart with it. And what a coincidence! I must admit, I had no idea that anybody was there at the time as I was most likely preoccupied with matters regarding me... Well, you said it yourself, looking corporal. If you have the time, allow me to explain.
You see, for the past two weeks I have been experimenting with something known as ancient magic. I cannot really see it but I can feel it when I am somewhere near the source, and I can really feel it if I touch it. If I spend plenty of time doing just that and focusing on being corporal — I seem to become so! Well, whatever part of me is surrounded by magic anyway.
That photo you took — I believe it was the first time that I have attempted to fully step into the stream of magic a day or two ago. The reason I needed to conduct some experiments first is rather serious as well: when the magic starts sipping away (and it never holds for longer than one day) I... Well, I am yet to find a way to make the transition back to my ghostly form less painful. As much as I was craving to feel, I forgot that pain is an integral part of life as well.
Needless to say that as fun as being able to be me again was, by the time I walked all the way back to the castle in my human form (and I got lost so many times since I could not just fly above the land toward the castle, oops) I was so tired that I just fell asleep on a bench somewhere near that area your camera captured me. When I woke up — I was a ghost again. At the very least, whatever pain I might have gone through that night, I slept through it.
I do hope that you are doing well, my darling. The sight of me should not be taking your breath away but instead making your heart beat and your soul soar. I hope you continue working on those still images because I did not get a chance to look at myself in the mirror that night. You are my only witness and I am honoured to have you share that special moment with me.
Thinking of you, always,
Richard Jackdaw
P. S. May I hope that someday I would be granted permission to call you by your proper name, my lady E?
#richard jackdaw#The Real Boy Thursday#hogwarts legacy rp#hogwarts legacy#cuffmeinblack#asks#E#tw: death#Ah I was going to do my 3rd Journal entry today regarding my advancements with ancient magic#But your letter couldn't have come at a better time#I am sorry for hijacking your letter for my selfish reasons#I am forever in your debt#[I do not wish to truly resurrect Richard]#[But I do want to roleplay him as an alive character as much as a ghost]#[Was planning to set this whole thing up before I start reaching out to other blogs but you guys jumped on him in the best of ways]#[And I gave in]#[But the goal is: take both ghost and alive asks into account without having to explain how it's possible]#[As soon as Richard figures out his/magic's limitations he will no longer be addressing his experiments]#[I am here for fun rp and everyone is free to pick any other reason as to why Richard is sometimes alive XD doesn't really matter to me]#[Any alternative universe works as long as you somehow manage to convey it in your asks!]
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so what i'm putting together from osmosis and the wonderful livebloggers and the incredible arkanis english updates account is something like this
Prefeito Jota: Hello, I'd like to hire you to investigate what happened in my city/island(?)!
Bagi, who was previously "invited" to a mysterious island/city by its elected official, subsequently trapped on the mysterious island/city, investigated the deep mysterious history of the island/city, came to no conclusions, found her brother after years of searching, was separated once again from her brother, gained and lost an adopted daughter (possibly to being kidnapped by the island government, which was evil), gained and lost a demon fiancée (possibly to being dragged back to hell, so there's no way to find her), gained and lost a close demon friend to dubious circumstance (did he die for his children? is he with skeppy in the gas station?), and has had an unknown amount of time to process and/or suppress all of this: Sure! :D
#ah shit now i gotta tag this#arkanis#qsmp#qsmp bagi#q!bagi#long tags#hopefully that covers it for people who don't care abt the lore tie-ins; i think they'll be able to filter this post#this is mostly a qsmp post so i hope you are able to filter it at your leisure :)#i try very hard not to bug have a good week :D#shut up vic#block game brainrot#is valigma an island or a city i'm unclear on this#or is it a city that's on an island#is there an island??? there's not. there is. where were they travelling. there was a boat i know that#fe//lps crashed the boat there's gotta be a port somehwere close by#but it could just be a port city.... is it an island??#brother i'm cooked i don't speak portuguese and i work during the streams.... cognates save me....... save me cognates.........#the name of my tiktok collection for qsmp is 'context clues only' bc i was determined to follow its story through only osmosis.#i was wrong about that one but. welcome back context clues only.#idk anyway hopefully this post can be filtered by people in either fandom who don't care abt crossover lollll 😭#look q!bagi has every reason to distrust elected officials that try to invite her places#last time it happened it was a bona fide second location.#it's kinda wild she was willing to do it again lmao#do you think she got the request and idly wondered how long she was gonna be stuck this time#we kinda had to skim over that aspect of q!bagi's arrival bc of the weird meta parts of the presidential invitation#but iirc the qsmp president inviting her was canon. which is WILD lmfaooo#and also how she was fiancées with tina (a demon) and friends with bad (a demon) and coparents with mouse (a demon)#and then she gets invited and comes to valigma and she's probably already got insane déjà vu and then BOOM. matt.#like i'm not cc!bagi so i don't know but i didn't read q!bagi as someone who just. moved on.#i don't think she would process the events of quesadilla island i think it's more likely she suppressed it. really really well.
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back on my bullshit, and if i said this was the octa-sibs after atia dies?
#personal#actual visible grief vs numbness#i mean we all know that aegon is gonna lose it later with viserys's fuckass lego set#but anyway i think a lot about how they might have respectively reacted to atia dying#cuz it seems to have just come out of fucking nowhere?#but for octavia you know that's her mom and this was likely the first serious familial loss she'd had in a really long time#meanwhile octavian who was far closer to caesar was already kinda suffering#so it's less 'ah fuck my mom is dead' and more 'well that's another thing to deal with'#i have Thoughts and again i will keep this fancast until i die
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It's so impossible to convince anyone to watch Lawrence of Arabia 😭 it's like "oh yeah there's this film! And it's so well done and beautiful!! The cinematography and the music is insane! The history and the characters are so interesting!!! It's even pretty reminiscent of that other film you like: Dune!!!! ....but its *cough cough* four hours long..."
#even my parents who saw it on re-release in theaters#and even bought the record of the soundtrack bcs they were so in love w it#will never rewatch it with me 😭😭😭#it IS a huge time commitment i understand that#i literally watched it across 3 nights bcs it was so long#but its very difficult to get other people to put in that time 🤧#i just really hope the one theater near me shows it sometime :/#they show old movies so im very hopeful#but i think it might be even harder to convince someone to sit in a theater for four hours....#and tbh im really thinking of rewatching it soon bcs dune and my schooling made me appreciate it more#but ah man i like to introduce films to people on rewatch yknow?#like ah come along on this journey with me!!!!#my friend said she'd think abt it 🥺#catie.rambling.txt
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Mhmm. Got new OC ideas on the brain. It’s basically the trope of “I thought I lost you when we were kids but you’ve actually been by my side now that we’re adults yet I was too fucking STUPID to realize it was you all along” which is like. MWAH chef’s kiss 😩👌
#Shima speaks#I’ve been trying to solidify the last few members of Nahu’s squad and I think these two are ittttt#See bc when I initially came up with his teammates I was like. Well I want to put a himbo in there somewhere.#Except I could never come up with a concept for the himbo character UNTIL NOW#(He’s still a himbo but to a much lesser degree. He’s an idiot but also smart unfortunately. LMAO)#And I had an idea for my baker boy but I’m changing it up#Anyway yeah can’t get this idea out of my head.#Person A being like I lost the one person I really cared about when I was a kid and I never fully recovered from that#And Person B being like I’ve been looking for you for SO long and now I finally found you#But things are such a fucking MESS I can’t reveal who I am to you right now#(Which is crazy bc you’d THINK you’d recognize me even after so long?)#Well Person B. Person A thinks you’ve been dead this whole time of COURSE he wouldn’t put two and two together#ALSO HE’S AN IDIOT!!!!#Person B: How did you not realize it was m#Person B: Ah. Wait. That’s right. You’re a dumbass#Person A: AHA!! OUCH!!!#I have SO many thoughts! Tee hee!!#Shima’s OCs#Among the Stars#ATS
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Size difference.png (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Crackship#Teisel#Meme#I am on a roll with these lol#I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time#I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw#Anyway (lol)#ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise!#Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0#Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe#And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!!#As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol#It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet#Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol#One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected!#It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick#Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0#So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX!#At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs!#Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol#They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol#And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft#It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at#The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha#He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft#I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪
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You ever just want to talk about Bertl,
#i . ooc .#The tags got so long just warning U now!#OK I know his appearance wasn't the longest but like. I'll never stop talking about him because he doesn't get enough credit? rip.#I know it's not really relevant any more because post-timeskip everyone is a lot better but. Referring to everyone's skill as of pre.#Reiner said Bertolt was the strongest of all of the shifters but he held himself back. He came 3rd without giving his all. Or really trying#I hc he held himself back to try not to let too much of his strength show bc people forget he had military training b4 joining the 104th.#And ofc. Also to not bring too much attention to himself bc of who he really is???#The way he mastered his Titan straight away and also has such a good handle on it.#Out of the 3 shifters he was the one that stayed true to the mission. Despite his reluctance he's got the strength and commitment.#People are so quick to say he relies on Reiner too much. And while he does at times. Reiner relies on him just as much if not more. Even if#Reiner doesn't realise it. Bertolt keeps him on track and has no one supporting him at all.#In COTT arc... U see him dodge Mikasa who is an Ackerman and seen as one of the strongest characters in the series...#And the same in RTS. Everyone gets too distracted by Mikasa to actually pay attention to how he dodges her 4 times?? Even tho she attacks#from behind? And the way he lands a hit on her. I just *screams*. I love how many times she tries to kill him. lol#How effective he is when he abandons his guilt and this is sort of irrelevant but. It's so special to me because as someone who is#a quiet person irl round people I don't know well. Who has it brought up a lot. I just adore when a character that remains in the#background just comes out and says enough is so hhhhh I know his reasons aren't good BUT RTS BERT... AH.#Also gotta talk about his marksmanship skills in a thread at some point?? Maybe Mp bert I J UST..#Anyway I might do a cheeky revamp of graphics n icons and that. Dunno yet. Need to actually write that'd be good lol.#This account is a lovebot didn't U know.
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#ah. i see the patrochilles hyperfixation is coming back full force. hm.#maybe its time for an iliad reread when i get back home next month. and also song of achilles bc its been a very long time since ive read i#and dont actually remember much apart from really enjoying the ending#the way 16yo me was OBSESSED with them when i read the iliad for the first time. she'd be so happy to see me now#alas. will i ever get into a hyperfixation that wasnt a core memory from childhood? who the fuck knows! stay tuned!#personal
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okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:
Fic about the ending
Abner fic
Simon's Quest
secret fic(s) :)
get the Talkers exchange set up
Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.
#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes#and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation#and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over#writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will#I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore#and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough#also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years#to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing#this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed#now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude#I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done#especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but#it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things#the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation#if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well#gonna get all this done sooner or later#talking moistly
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its such a gem thing to think about taking someones idea for yourself but never going through with it until theyve personally pissed you off so bad and you want to twist the knife in a bit more
its a june gem thing to do think about it, rationalise it, realise they havent pissed you off and doing it anyways
ergo june gems are genuine maniacs and a hazard to society
#this is about gustav forsling btw#can you imagine you are aaron ekblad you just woke up maybe a little later than usual its the offseason you can relax#youre drinking your coffee. black. because you are of course the peon of health and you like the taste after so long#you have your phone in your hand and your sipping on your mug through your hazy just woken up state your eyes are blurring a little#so you dont quite believe it when open on of your plethora of sns to see: Gustav Forsling Takes the Stanley Cup on a Helicopter Ride#really you cant believe any of that is happening until the pictures come out#all the videos of his smiling mug out the window. the cup at his feet.#he grins mischievously at the camera when he notices it before he returns to the window the utter embodiment of tranquility#but you know. you know hes not as aloof as hes acting. that smile gave it away.#he knows you dont have the cup until the 17th and thats a while away#he decided to have a helicopter entrance to saab arena so he has plausible deniability of why he might choose flight transport#its cool he says. i wanted a cool entrance.#but you know. you /know/#he even went lake fishing earlier and your hands tighten around your phone a little.#you cant help but chuckle in mirth at what this guy is doing. how obvious it is to you.#i like fishing he says. its my favourite activity.#but you know#you took him out on the sea a couple times this season to see if hed like it. to convince him it was better really.#i prefer the lake he says.#something weird is happening in your chest. it tickles.#like that awful organ thats pounding in your ribcage just got wings and is fluttering animatedly.#you cant stop laughing a terrible chiming thing that echoes in your kitchen#ah that bastard. that absolute bastard.#you have to make some phonecalls...what time is it in sweden right now?#forsblad is sooooo
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