General attitude of the Dead Three towards their followers that I've observed in the Time of Troubles and sometimes other sources.
Bhaal seems to like his followers the most; Myrkul would love you more if you were a zombie; and Bane:
Bhaal: Can be attentive to his followers, apparently. Bhaal loves his clique of murderous fanatics (or at least he loves their murders) and they may "personally warrant [his] attention", multiple times, if he's particularly in awe of their skill at murder.
Seems to take it badly when people who aren't him kill his followers - and he's willing to resurrect his favourites if they die while in his favour. But that's hard to gauge if he takes it that badly because that "numbness", fear, then rage response seen in the novels was also in reaction to almost all of his followers getting massacred (although this being pre-3.5e, his power was not dependent on the amount of worshippers he had at this time, so it wasn't as big a deal, more of an inconvenience).
Myrkul: Seems to hate the living more than Bhaal does. He thinks you'd be much cooler if you were undead. Or - memorably - an horrific, mindless, body-stealing soul-eating abomination. Tendency to eat his follower's souls or inflict horrific withering curses on them as a show of "favour". He happily supports the dreams of his undead followers though! Still, he advises his living worshippers to take protective measures and has to look out for them, because otherwise he's rapidly going to have zero followers because he's insanely unlikable. Funny, but unlikable.
Bane: Plays favourites. Bane's interactions in the Time of Troubles were a little skewed, due to having mortal emotions at the time, but the fundamentals stay the same: Most of humanity is beneath his notice, but he does crave the attention of those few he values who may receive leniencies and such. He also refuses to acknowledge that he values them emotionally, and he will still treat them terribly and says there's still a good chance he'll leave them for dead if it's more convenient. Still, even as a god he made the decision to elevate Fzoul to demigodhood when he died instead of just tossing him aside, so some of that remains?
While this is more of an insight into the mortal who predates the God of Tyranny, imo, he has an interesting response to grief, progressing from shock to murdering people around him in a blind rage, to this:
"I will not grieve, the god decided coolly. Blackthorne was merely a human. A pawn. His loss is regrettable, but he can be replaced.
Then Bane thought of his endless talks with Blackthorne. He remembered the strange emotions that coursed through him when he had realized that Blackthorne had saved him, and aided in his recovery.
The Black Lord looked at his hands and noticed he was trembling. Then the God of Strife screamed a cry of grief, loud and long. All over Bane’s Dark Temple, people covered their ears and shivered at the sound of the Black Lord’s pain."
Then more murder time, so we can stop having disgusting emotions and channel it all into hate on the battlefield:
"A fire crackled in the eyes of the Black Lord and Fzoul stepped back from the angry god. Then Bane’s lips curled back in a frightful grimace. There was fire behind the God of Strife’s pointed teeth, too, as his eyes narrowed and he said, “Now.” "
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🍓📚🦋 if you're still up for those asks!
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
Being a 9-10 year old with too much internet access, a very wild and highly specific imagination (which turned out to be autism in hindsight), and already being predisposed towards writing since she knew how to, stumbling upon Fanfiction.net and being surprised to discover my highly specific (and absurd) envisioning of a story has not magically materialized, and concluding she must write it herself.
Naturally, I calmed down a lot since then lol, but I've been writing fanfiction for about as long as I can remember. I only felt confident enough in myself to start posting...almost two years ago, give or take? Damn, time flies...
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
Bold of you to assume I have one! Unless rambling to friends about various ideas and making them watch me scream at my WIPs in Discord convos counts. Currently researching hypothermia for a Len'en oneshot, which I eventually concluded is "reverse heatstroke" lol.
🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately
"Wait a minute, you mean to tell me my haphazard ability to do even things I enjoy doing and concluding even very basic tasks like liking Tumblr posts 'require too much energy' at certain intervals is not normal, and that saying I must 'make myself clean my bathroom' is in fact a sign I may have some pretty major executive dysfunction? Damn. That explains a lot. I wasn't lazy this whole time...What a waste of time, thinking I was." <- (Currently starting to attempt to seek treatment, but it's been kinda fucking with me lately)
On a lighter note, been thinking about my OCs as always...They're such hot messes. One is a horrible combination of Captain Olimar and Kuroji Shitodo. Be very afraid.
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i think maybe i need to replay rebirth some time to look at this diplomatically because aerith is My Favourite and i might be biased but i think my biggest story critique of rebirth is that i wish they'd done a little more with her. given that this is the game she dies in i found it strange that they didn't push her into the foreground a little more since this is their last real chance to do that with her as a living member of the party (i'm sure she'll show up in some limited capacity in part 3 but dead lifestream!aerith is pretty different to alive!aerith i think).
i know that sounds like a weird thing to say when you consider stuff like them giving her the game's theme song to sing during loveless and the fact that the last chapter is basically The Aerith Movie but there is a strange lack of focus on her in moments where it feels like we should get more from her throughout the narrative. this game pushes tifa and cloud's relationship more in the mandatory story segments, and i LOVED what they did with that relationship in this game, but it felt odd that the same focus was not given to cloud's relationship with aerith throughout the story given that the ending hinges on him being so devastated by her death that he enters a delusional state of grief. and this isn't even a shipping thing bc as far as shipping goes i'm an aerti truther and i feel pretty equally neutral about both cloti and clerith as romances (if anything i prefer cloti!). it's about giving proper narrative buildup to the relationship that the game's tragic ending hinges on - a lot of aerith's most interesting scenes with cloud in the bulk of the game are optional, which i think is a weird thing to do given what the game is building to.
i also wish they did more with her being a cetra! again, the last couple chapters put focus on this but prior to that aerith is weirdly quiet about it. particularly in cosmo canyon, while we do get the lovely bonfire scene, aerith otherwise has a weird lack of dialogue when it comes to the lore dump scenes with the gi and bugenhagen. i expected her to feel some type of way about these revelations but any indication of that is at best subtext and she doesn't really say a lot about it. and for all that they emphasise aerith and nanaki's connection early on as beings closer to the planet, once you get to cosmo canyon there's a weird lack of payoff for it. same with tifa's dunk in the lifestream - i kinda thought aerith might have something to say about it as a cetra, and in fairness i think it's possible she did and the game is withholding some of aerith and tifa's offscreen interactions for part 3 (i swear this isn't even just an aerti cope lol i think the fact that they deliberately show them talking without us getting to hear it might be something they come back to), but i also wish we got to connect with this part of aerith's character more NOW, while she's still here, so it can inform our understanding of her choices and feelings at the end. i just find it kind of a bummer because aerith's complicated relationship to her heritage is a fascinating aspect of her character and her tragedy that i think goes a little untapped in this game, which means it's likely to go untapped in the story as a whole since she's. you know. dead.
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something silly i animated when i was sending in my letter of resignation to my last job. anxiety is ~* f u n *~
also made a version with hirigana cuz i was studying japanese at the time
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So!!! Guess who found out the worst time to realise the AAA battery in your bullet which is snugly inserted in your butt plug is out of charge!
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Okay but funny thing I found in the tfwiki in the aligned timeline page is we know full well Deadlock/Drift is here
But
Unlike in IDW, when tfp Megs found Deadlock he just handed him off to Shadow Raker and basically everyone forgot he existed. I am aware rid Drift's backstory is heavily inspired by his IDW one, which in hindsight shouldn't have shocked me as much as it did at the time, but it's just funny now.
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having a moment of self-realization where you suddenly understand that the extremely specific thing you were fixated on in your teens was very obviously you unconsciously projecting, processing, and coping with a corresponding Upsetting Life Event like "ah son of a bitch. recognized myself thru the other again. shit. goddamn it"
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