#ah! what a nice young man! surely there's nothing wrong with him

[firestorm09890]

shadow-walking schemer

[novvabee]

And They Were Roommates

My first time writing so here we go

Summary: How you end up as their roommate

Walking up the steps to the lovely little house on a lovely little street shouldn’t have had you as nervous as it did. The house was exactly as Lily described; charming. It wasn’t new by any standards, but it was a well lived in home. Sure the little garden needed tending to, and there were some cracks running up the walls, but it seemed so warm and inviting. It is better than nothing.

Lily, lovely, kind, sweet Lily was the one who offered up this place. You had come into work that day with a tear-stained face and a stressed demeanor, and Lily knew something had to be off. During your break, she asked what was wrong and you instantly fell apart yet again. You told her about all the horrid circumstances about your apartment. “My roommates are insane, the rent is way too expensive, it’s all the way across town, there’s mold in the shower, I have noisy neighbors, and the landlord is an asshole and a creep,” you rattled off, still teary and frustrated. Lily nodded, listening, thinking of some way to offer up a solution. Hesitantly, she told you about one place she knew that had an extra bedroom available. “Now I have to warn you, there is no guarantee that the people who live there won't be less crazy than your old roommates, but they are nice! I’ve known them for years, they're really cool.” And with that she wrote down an address and told you to meet her there after your shift. 

Which is where you are now, following Lily up the brick stairs to your new potential place to stay. She knocks on the door and waits for it to swing open revealing a young man with long black hair, tied back messily. He was tall, and handsome, his blue-gray eyes sly and gleaming. “Ah Evans, lovely day to you. What brings you ‘round?” His voice was melodic although a tad gruff. She didn’t answer, just pushed her way through, as if she’d done it a million times. You made to follow her and he opened the door wide for you allowing you to walk through. That's when you noticed the tattoos littering his hands. His sleeves cut off what you could see, but you assumed that the tattoos stretched further up his arms. You looked up at him, smiling awkwardly as he tilted his head at you. You’d been caught admiring the markings.

“Where’s James? I texted him.” Lily called from the living room. You followed the sound of her voice into the open living area. It was cozy, a mix of large plush armchairs that matched a big squashy brown couch. There were a couple bookcases filled with books, gadgets, and plants surrounding the tv. A record player to the side. The area was so inviting, not at all like your old apartment.

“I don’t know, I just woke up,” The boy said a tad bit annoyed “Care to introduce your friend?” he gestured over to you

“This is Y/N, my friend from work. She needs a place to stay- I texted this all to James I thought he would’ve told you.” she said in a rushed tone. “Where is he? I specifically-”

“-He’s in the shower Lils” called another voice from a boy now entering the room. He was much taller than the first boy. He had sandy brown hair and light eyes, just as handsome as the first boy, but in a softer way. You noticed a scar running across his face that made him more attractive if you were being honest. He smiled kindly at you and said, “I'm Remus, and that’s Sirius.” He nodded to the black haired boy.

Someone came bounding down the steps, another boy with brown hair and green eyes. He was dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was just as attractive as Remus and Sirius, and well you couldn’t help but… admiring… how fit he was. How could you when it was so graciously on display.

“James! Did you not tell them about Y/N?” Lily yelled at James, annoyed but slightly playful.

“I forgot?”

Lily picked up a pillow from the nearby oversized armchair and threw it at James who dodged it and ran back up the stairs laughing. “Get dressed and come back down here!” she called after him.

She whirled back to you and the two other boys, singing and making her way over to the couch, beckoning you to join her. “These boys” she rolled her eyes “It’s a wonder how this house is still standing” she joked with you.

“We can hear you Evans.” Sirius said sliding into an armchair, Remus casually leaning over the back of the same chair.

“That's the point Black” she debuted.

The dripping wet boy, who you guessed must be James, came back downstairs in more than just a towel this time, but donning a pair of glasses.

He walked straight up to you. “Hi I’m James,” He said, shaking your hand heartily. He was quite warm. “Lily told me about your situation and it sounds shit. I, for one, would be perfectly fine with you staying here, but you see this is a democracy and Remus and Sirius also get a vote.” His words left his mouth at a mile a minute, he seemed to have energy like bottled lightning.”Oh by the way,” he turned to the other boys “this is Y/N, she needs a place to stay.”

“Yeah, we got that much mate, thanks.” Remus chuckled.

“You’re frightening her James, you’ll scare her off” Sirius joked.

You laughed slightly, your nerves easing slightly. But the small noise made everyone turn to you for some input.

“Uh- I don’t want to impose, it is totally fine if you decide that you don’t want another roommate, I mean, you all seem very close and it might be awkward adding another person to the mix, so If you don’t want me to live here I get it, I mean, it is your house, I’d just be staying as a guest I guess,” you started playing with your fingers. The boys shared a look.

“I'm gonna stop you right there love,” Sirius interrupted. “We wouldn't mind another roommate at all.”

“Yeah,” James agreed, ”I’m sure you'd fit in perfectly with us lot. I mean, any friend of Lil’s is a friend of ours.” He smiled at you reassuringly.

“Are you sure? I mean it would only be a couple of months until I can find the right place and-”

“No need. Our house is always open to friends. People are always in and out. Lily has stayed here I don’t even know how many times.” Remus interrupted. “You’re fine to stay however long you need, forever if you want.”

“Really? I- I-Uh. Thank you. Really I mean it, I really appreciate it. I’ll be the best roommate ever, I promise! I'll cook and clean.”  At that, the boys smiled back at you. You felt a wave of relief wash over you. “I can get you guys the rent once I'm all moved in.” You were very excited now, Lily sharing your excitement pulled you from the couch and up the stairs to show you your new room.

“Oh no need” Sirius shouts after you but you didn't hear. They could hear the two of you giggling and talking about decorating.

“Ok we're going to need a new list of house rules.” Remus spoke up to the other two boys. 

Sirius looked up at him shocked. “What, why?”

“Well one, she's a girl. That means put clothes on when walking around the house,” he directed at James. “Two she obviously needs to come out of her shell a little, we don't wanna scare her now do we?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” James asks.

“She's not used to the chaos that you two seem to feed off of so, maybe just tone it down slightly.” Remus replied.

“No promises,” Sirius mused.

Remus just brushed him off and said more serious now “She’s also…” he paused making sure you and Lily were still upstairs and couldn't hear, ”a muggle.”

The other two boys nodded understanding this important rule. “So no magic? What about quidditch I can’t just stop- Moony what about you?,” James asked.

Remus thought for a moment. This may be harder than they thought, but they weren’t going to go back on it now. “Ok, just no magic out in the open and be careful about it when you do use it. Agreed?,” the other two nodded. “And as for me… we’ll just figure that out when it comes time.”

Sirius looked at the other two. “And what about when she finds out about…” he motioned between all three of them “Us.”

The three of them shared glances and started thinking of how much they had to keep from you. This was definitely going to be harder than they thought.

[stinkrascal]

i think he can tell girl lol

TRANSCRIPT

Breanna: Where's Lilith? Caleb: Hello to you too, Breanna.

Breanna: Sorry, is Lilith home? I gotta talk to her, it's important. Caleb: I thought she was with you.

Caleb: It's getting late. She'll be home soon I reckon. You can wait with me, if you like.

Caleb: I never congratulated you on your transformation. Vampirism looks good on you. It's really rather impressive how quickly you adapted.

Breanna: Huh? Oh. You really think so? Caleb: Honestly, I thought I wouldn't see you 'til winter, I did. Breanna: I guess I'm pretty strong, huh? Was it, like, hard for you?

Caleb: Ah... hard is an understatement.

Caleb: Lilith got it bad, too. We had her locked in the basement for months.

Caleb: Used to throw chunks of meat down the hatch and listen to her catch 'em. Sometimes she'd ram into the door so hard it'd shake on the hinges.

Caleb: God, and that noise—that growling. You could hear it through the pipes like the house was groaning.

Caleb: Vladislaus would make this face, like he was terrified the wood would splinter. He'd tell me, it's alright, it's all under control, but he was right scared, he was.

Caleb: [ sighs ] Always lying through his teeth...

Breanna: Do you know him well? Caleb: Who, Vladislaus? Sure, maybe. I only known him practically my whole life. Why? Breanna: Do you know if he's... seeing anybody?

Caleb: Why? Did he say something?

Breanna: No... but there was this guy earlier. They seemed close. Caleb: Oh. Ah. I dunno. You tried asking him?

Breanna: He said they're associates. Caleb: Maybe it's true. Breanna: Yeah, right. Associates. That's such bullshit.

Caleb: [ sighs ] You know, I get the impulse, I really do, but Vladislaus is the wrong choice. Breanna: Huh? Caleb: You're young, and you got eternity now. You got your life back.

Caleb: Why not go see the world?

Caleb: If I were you, I'd be traveling. Not wasting my time pining after some old man. Breanna: ...I like it here. Maybe you don't, but I do. I don't gotta stress. I don't gotta worry.

Breanna: Out here, I can forget. At least here... he's... nice to me.

Caleb: Don't think it's right, bedding your sire, but if you want the headache, have at it. Careful you don't break his hips. He is ancient, after all.

Breanna: Huh? Who said anything about—I'm not—I never said—what makes you think that?! Caleb: You're the one asking about his relationships. Breanna: A girl can't ask questions?!

Breanna: Like I'd ever care who Vlad's dating! I'd never want to—ugh. With him?! Ugh! I wasn't even talking about that, I'd never ask about that! You fucking pervert!

Breanna: Stop asking me questions you pervert! Caleb: I didn't ask nothing. Breanna: Ugh, I'm going to find Lilith!

Breanna: [ thinking to herself ] Shit... that was close.

Breanna: [ thinking to herself ] ...He can't tell, can he?

Breanna: [ thinking to herself ] Nah, I'm good, he definitely can't tell.

[robin-writess]

hi I'm the anon that was requesting the Sean thing

it was so late at night I wrote Javier instead of Sean in my request and it became really messy, I'm so sorry. It was all meant to be only about Sean idk why I wrote Javier...

(it's 1am rn it's again - really late, I'm sorry if the things I write make no sense, I'm struggling😭)

Ohh okay! Don’t worry I do the same thing sometimes😭😭 also I am so very sorry for the long wait!! Please forgive me if this is bad I really hope you like it !!

🎀Sean x Fem!Reader ; ‘you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’🎀

• summary : You and Sean were invited to go with Dutch to a fancy party in Saint Denis, in which you’ll need to dress real fancy and nice. The whole reason y’all went was to find job opportunities, but Sean couldn’t concentrate on his main goal during all this, he’s too busy drooling over you.

“Come on!” You hear Dutch yell, “if we’re gonna make it to this party we sure as shit better clean up a little.”

You take that as your cue to get ready as you head toward the old, decaying house to get dressed. Around ten minutes later, you walk out in a beautiful long, flowy dress (something like this, or this), your hair done beautifully and your makeup so stunning.

Dutch and Sean stand near the stagecoach as they wait for you. “Ah there she is,” Dutch says as he stops talking to Sean and looks over at you, “you ready?”

“Yep, all set.” You say as he helps you up into the coach.

The two men follow behind you and take their seats.

“Now what were you saying Sean?” Asks Dutch.

“Uh- I uh.. can’t remember,” Sean stutters, causing Dutch to stare at him in silence before looking over at you and back to Sean with a knowing look.

There’s a smirk on his face as he chuckles, “well anyways, about this party…..”

—————

The coach comes to a stop as you’ve finally arrived. One by one you all step out and start making your way towards the entrance, handing all your weapons to the guard before entering.

“Sean, you do your thing,” Dutch says under his breath so only you and Sean can hear, “go talk to people, try to get as much information as you can. Y/n, you too.”

“Yes sir,” you both say in unison.

Stepping out onto the balcony, you see Bronte and a few other men. “Ah, the angry cowboys, you’ve arrived!” He says, “and you’ve washed!”

You take in your surroundings, hearing the sounds of people chatting and laughing together, music playing, and smelling the fresh air. You look around at all the fancy decor, the well dressed men and women in the crowd, but the feeling of someone watching you brings you back to reality. You see Sean eyeing you up and down from the corner of your eye.

‘That’s a little odd..’ you think to yourself, ‘he isn’t usually this quiet.’

“This is quite a party you’ve invited us to,” Dutch smiles and shakes Bronte’s hand. “Yes, quite something..” he replies.

The Italian man starts rambling on about the mayor, the natives, a major in the war and his young wife. It starts to bore you, you grow weary of the fake smile plastered across your face.

“Y/n,” Sean whispers, “I think we should get going.”

You nod in response. “We’ll be on our way sir,” you say to Bronte before going down to join the party with Sean.

Of course you still see that Sean’s attention is all on you as you make your way toward the crowd of people.

“Is there something on my face?” You ask, “something wrong with my dress or something? You’ve been staring at me the whole time Sean.”

“N-no there’s nothing wrong with your dress,” Sean nervously says, “and there’s nothing on your face.”

“Then what?” You chuckle.

“Uhm..” before Sean could even get his sentence out you all hear a loud noise, followed by “ooh”s and “wow”s from the crowd.

You both look up and see the most beautiful colors exploding in the sky, it’s like nothing you’ve seen before. It puts a huge smile on your face.

“Sean, look it’s so pretty!” You smile brightly at him before turning your attention back to the sky.

“You’re so pretty…” Sean says, not taking his eyes off of you despite the rare sight in front of him.

“Huh..?” You turn back to him, your smile faded into a confused look.

“Y/n, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen..” Sean starts, “especially tonight.. you look so pretty in that dress, your eyes are so stunning I just get lost in them every time you look at me.”

You feel your face heat up as he says all this. “Woah Sean, that was so random… are you serious?” You ask.

“I mean it.” He says.

You’re speechless. Did Sean really just say all of that to you?

“Sean I-” he cuts you off, his lips press against yours and his hand caressing your cheek.

“I love you, y/n…” Sean says as he pulls away.

“I-I love you too Sean…” you stare deep in his eyes, still at a loss for words.

[lu-backrooms-au]

Twilight Meets Time

“Tell me about your past ranching experience,” asked the man across the café table from Twilight. Time Lon, the rancher, was a powerfully built, no doubt by many years of hard labor on the ranch that Twilight was applying to work at.

Twilight couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by him. Maybe it was the bad eye, blanched white by some past injury or illness that made him look fierce. Or the red and blue face tattoos. Either way, despite his appearance, Time Lon had been nothing but kind and polite to Twilight.

“I grew up on a farm in Ordon and have spent most of my life farming vegetables and raising goats and horses,” Twilight explained. “As you can see on my resume, I have an extensive list of agricultural skills from gardening to horse wrangling to animal husbandry.”

“Yes, I saw, quite impressive. Most of the ranch hand applications we’ve gotten have been from city-dwellers with limited ranch experience, but I can tell you’re serious about this line of work. How are you with children? If you weren’t aware, every summer we host summer camps for children.”

“Here are your drinks,” interrupted the pink haired waiter—waitress? It wasn’t clear what their gender was. Then Twilight noticed they wore a they/them pin below their café nametag that read “Legend.” Don’t stare, he reminded himself.

“Thank you,” Twilight nodded and took his drink—black tea with plenty of milk and sugar.

“And here’s your black coffee, Mr. Time—is this another potential ranch hand?” Legend asked.

“Uh, yes. I am interviewing him right now,” Time replied.

“Cool! Let me know how it goes!” Legend said as they turned to leave. “Good luck!” They gave Twilight a double thumbs up.

“Thank you!” Twilight returned.

“That’s Legend,” Time said. “My wife and I are regulars here at the café and see them all the time.”

“Oh, nice!” Twilight smiled politely. “Back to your question, I love kids. There’re a lot of kids in my village back home. I was a regular playmate for ‘em. Not to mention the fact that I have a little brother and baby sister back at home.” And the two young runaways he kept alive and safe for many months.

“Good, I’m glad to hear,” Time replied. “If you were to work on the ranch, would you be willing to assist with the summer camps?”

“Sure! Why not? I might even be able to get my little brother and sister out here to attend one.” And maybe he’d get to see his boys again—he knew they lived somewhere in Castletown with a real family now.

“Just wanted to leave my hometown and see the world,” Twilight replied. “I did some traveling around Hyrule after I left home, but now I’m running low on money—” Aah why’d he say that?! “—it’s time to get a real job again and settle down.” And stay near the boys he just couldn’t let go of.

“Ah, yes, the call of adventure and exploration that entices young folk,” Time smiled. “Already my oldest son—he’s 13—is starting to dream of sailing all around the world.”

“You get it,” Twilight grinned.

“I do have to ask though… you have some… unique face tattoos,” Time asked. “What do they mean?”

“Well, uh, you see…” Twilight hadn’t thought to have an answer prepared for this question. His mind raced. Should he lie? Or tell the truth? Lie! Lie! Keep the dark secrets a secret!

Time leaned forward and scrutinized him with that one good eye, his pleasant expression souring just enough that Twilight noticed it. No don’t get the wrong idea about me; I need this job! Twilight wasn’t sure he could make up a believable lie on the spot, and Time didn't seem like the kind of person who was easy to deceive (or who would take it well if he found out the truth) so in a split second decision, Twilight decided to just... tell the truth. Sort of.

“Truth is… it’s kind of an embarrassing story," Twilight nervously began. "But uh, while I was out wandering Hyrule, I got into some trouble—ended up getting cursed by a magical being and, uh, spent some time as a dog.” Not a dog, but a wolf, but wolves are scary so don’t tell him that.

 “When I was transformed back,” he continued, “these face markings remained from the fur pattern of my dog form. But don’t worry—I’m not a dog anymore—” Twilight instantly internally kicked himself for saying something so obvious. “I mean—I won’t be turning into a dog again—I’m not like… a werewolf or something.” Twilight stammered and then laughed nervously, a blush coloring his face. He tried not to think about the transformation stone he wore on a string around his neck that let him transform at will.

“I see,” Time said thoughtfully and he leaned back in his chair, taking a long moment to consider how to respond. Twilight looked down at his drink, embarrassed. He gave it a needless stir and then took a sip.

“You know, it’s not uncommon for young naïve youths to be led astray, when magic is involved.” Time began. “I myself got into trouble of my own as a young person, and that’s what gave me these,” he pointed to his eye and the tattoos on his own face. “But I believe in giving people second chances and giving them the opportunity to turn themselves around—I got one. It doesn’t matter where you came from, only where you’re going—as I like to say.”

Time leaned forward again and looked Twilight in the eye.

“I like what I see in you, Twilight. You have a lot to offer, and there’s a lot that we can offer you. I think you’d be a good addition to our ranch: I’d like family to offer you the ranch hand job.”

“Oh yes please,” Twilight couldn’t help but smile in relief. As long as he had a job in Castletown, he’s be okay. And maybe he could be in the boys’ life again.

“Pleased to have you,” Time shook Twilight’s hand. “Welcome to the Lonlon Ranch family!”

[ladykissingfish]

*Kakuzu and Itachi at a small clothing shop*

Kakuzu, speaking into the dressing room: Thank you again for this, Itachi-san.

Itachi: Ah, it’s no problem. I’m happy I can help.

Kakuzu: Knowing what kind of jacket to get Hidan is difficult; he’s so particular about his clothing. But I figured you could be instrumental in achieving the correct fit, at least; considering you and Hidan are around the same height and build.

Itachi: Smart. *comes out from behind the curtain* What about this? It’s warm but lightweight, and it’s leather. He seems to like leather.

Kakuzu: *steps up and feels the material* This is nice. A little expensive, but a good investment as it’ll last a few years. I think this is what I’ll get, then.

Itachi: Alright. *goes back into the dressing room to change into his own clothes* I’m sure he’ll love it.

Kakuzu: I hope so. He’ll look great in it. I just wish I could find something that made me look even decent.

Itachi: What do you mean?

Kakuzu: *sighs* Every time we go out somewhere, I always feel like everyone is staring at us. Wondering what a young beauty like Hidan is doing with an old man like me.

Itachi: *comes out and picks up his own coat* Kakuzu. That’s nonsense. There’s nothing wrong with how you look, and Hidan is crazy about you, you know?

Kakuzu: If you say so …

*they take the jacket for Hidan up to the register*

Clerk: All set? You know, I must say, I envy you, young man. I wish MY grandfather took me out clothes-shopping like yours!

Itachi: *takes Kakuzu’s hand* Grandfather? That is highly insulting. I’ll have you know that this handsome man is my boyfriend, and I’m positive he has more virility and stamina than whatever you’re going home to each night. In fact, call your manager out here. I want to ask him whether making ageist comments to the customers is part of this store’s mission statement.

Clerk: I … I’m sorry, sirs. No need for the manager! As a token of my sincere apologies, please accept an 80% discount on your purchase.

Itachi: Very well.

*Kakuzu pays the man and they quickly leave the store*

Kakuzu: You didn’t have to do that …

Itachi: Don’t worry about it, Kakuzu-san. It’s not a big deal.

Kakuzu: … so you wouldn’t mind doing that again? Say, in that shop across the road? Hidan could use some new boots, too … at a nice discount.

Itachi:

[widevibratobitch]

Ok. Any "Terror" fic recommendations?

good lord YES countless really. idk what you're looking for specifically though.

i myself am a fitzier girlie first and foremost with some occasional fitzconte thrown in. i'll best direct you to my ao3 bookmarks, specifically to the tag i keep for my personal favourites, the crème de la crème of fics I've read and liked.

some examples under the cut.

i am a connoisseur of ✨fitzier hatesex✨ and there's surprisingly not that many of those compared to fics where they're all lovey-dovey with each other (which. dont get me wrong. i also enjoy from time to time). so i'll give you some that have truly stuck with me. it's mostly pwp sorry not sorry.

Some lovely perilous thing by cosmogram

“Oh,” James gasps, and really, it’s almost too easy. James ought to have some modicum of shame, ought to be able to master himself better than this—better than turning to a doe-eyed dissolute the second a man so much as breathes near his eager young cock. “Not here, Francis,” James pants out, voice already hitching high. “The great cabin, at the very least.”

“Here, I think,” Francis returns crisply. “On your knees.”

it's just so fucking good. very hot. i honestly don't know what else i could say about this, it's one of my personal favourites amongst personal favourites (along with the one i link next, from the same author).

Devotion by cosmogram

Francis does not seek him anymore, but neither—still worse—does Francis bother to dismiss him when James arrives of his own volition, each time with all the hope of the most wretched fool. “Oh, get to it, then,” Francis muttered with sublime disinterest that very day when James appeared in his cabin’s doorway. James had, in fact, come to talk—but he had not hesitated when Francis gestured dispassionately to the front of his trousers. He had dropped, wordlessly, to his knees to obey.

everyone give it up for erectile dysfunction! hip-hip hurray! the author sums it up well with the James Fitzjames’s Tragically Unmet Praise Kink tag. this one is a little more on the sad side, Francis is being a goddamn gremlin and James is at his most needy and pathetic. nothing hotter to me personally than sucking someone's limp dick and crying about it. i find myself thinking about this fic an ungodly amount. i love it so much. again, best of the best of the best.

nice dream by icicaille

Francis swirled the last dregs in his glass and peered into its depths. Some kind of grim satisfaction had come over him. “I’ll tell you what you want to hear,” he said. “For a certain price.” It was foolhardy beyond measure. Damning, even.

basically, Fitzjames gives Crozier a blowjob in exchange for Francis telling him some nice reassuring things he needs to hear so badly it makes him look stupid - malicious compliance from Francis of course with some nice internalised homophobia. James is, again, pathetic as all shit with a little twist at the end. no one is having a good time except for me of course.

hunger's vocabulary by icicaille

“Ah, Sir John.” Francis cleared his throat once the wardroom was near to empty. “May I borrow James? Regarding the Lloyd’s balance. We took readings that require further inspection. I’ll send him back in a gig—tonight if the weather holds, in the morning otherwise.”

chef's kiss. just two cunty cunts going at it (the dialogues are so good...) with a sprimkle of some angsty self-loathing Francis. what more could you ask for.

you are coming down with me by dazydaisy

Chapter one: “If I loved you I could perhaps fuck you as if I hated you, in order to please you, but, as you are surely aware by now Fitzjames, you and love are oil and water to me.”

Chapter two: ‘Maybe,’ James had begun to unlace the front of his trousers with a carelessness he had (shamefully) practiced, ‘if you loved yourself even a little you would be able to stop yourself from doing as I command. But, as I’m sure you know by now Francis, you and love are like oil and water. The two simply do not meet.’

*

Mum and dad are fighting again

pretty much what it says on the tin. just two heartbroken bitches fucking and being cruel to each other and im eating that shit up thanks

A Willing Foe and Sea-Room by ClutchHedonist

“Nnh.” Fitzjames whines around his thumb.

“None of that. Clearly, you can’t shut your own bloody mouth to save your life.” Francis huffs, “So I’ll shut it for you.”

pre-canon. Fitzjames - still as a baby lieutenant - and Crozier have a brief but very hot encounter during some Admiralty Party.

Caïssa by cosmogram

“You said you had a question,” Francis snapped, irritable already.

“Yes,” James said, flushed and resplendent still from the company next door—undaunted and loose-limbed in just the way that plucked cloying ire from a raw place in Francis. “How’s your chess game?”

A seduction.

a little bonus to the list, because i love this fic and it recently updated after a very long hiatus (it's still a wip tho but i hope the author manages to finish it, they're one of my favourite writers in this fandom). no hatesex here, it's more of a slow-burn with past Crozier/Ross and really great dialogues, as always. Neptune also makes an appearance.

Bespoke by ktula

James is trying to escape his grief after Sir John's death. Francis, in his own way, is trying to do the same. OR: The one where James Fitzjames has a bit of the genders, and his captain is surprisingly accommodating of that.

ending this rec list on a kinder and softer note, as a treat. this was one of the first fics ive read in this fandom and still one of my favourites. not really hate sex though they're still rather uncertain and wary about the other. very good, very sensual, gender-heavy. beautiful fic really.

BONUS have some excellent fitzjames/le vesconte and fitzjames/franklin - as a treat.

you don't have friends (you have admirers) by JamesFitzjames

James Fitzjames is a man who does not seek help.

each chapter deals with something different, so while the fic is unfinished it's not really some painful cliffhanger (tho i would love to see it completed one day). second chapter is some excellent, excellent Fitzconte. last chapter also has, why, of course, some really delightful ✨fitzier hatesex✨.

Hoo-ray and up she rises by TheGreenMeridian

They’re rip-roaringly drunk and laughing loud enough at each other to wake half the neighbourhood as they stumble into their lodgings.

i only like Fitzconte if it's done in a very specific way and this fic fits my needs just perfectly. just two besties being sillayyyy. what, like you never gave your bro a handjob just for shits and giggles?

Whatever morning brings by isamariposa

Brutus spends his life torn between disquiet, distaste and desperate pining for Caesar, leading to his infamous betrayal. In his own final moments, he raises a plea: “Jupiter Maximus, take pity on me. If by Your grace there is a way to atone for what I did to him, I beg You: let me do so in the afterlife.”

His wish is granted.

yes, yes, this is technically an HBO Rome fic but each chapter deals with a different time period - the third is dedicated to The Terror and can totally be read on its own. it's some truly excellent Sir John/Fitzjames with a sprimkle of some delightful Fitzconte tomfoolery. It's really, really good.

okay one last BONUS

devourer of debts by allmyloyaldead(van1lla_v1lla1n)

Cornelius Hickey receives, and devours, and adapts.

What Hickey receives from the universe and what he takes for himself, the pieces with which he sews himself together into a man, or something like one.

some incredible Hickey insanity. truly brilliant. the gifts Hickey receives from Billy, Irving and Fitzjames, short and sweet (by sweet i obviously mean gruesome and fucked up <3)

[ladylooch]

Ohhh I’m so ready for this dinner between Timo and Luca 😝

Timo attempts to soften his blue gaze as Luca Fiala walks into the New York City restaurant. Timo had arrived early, wanting to prepare himself for the interaction of whatever this discussion is going to be. He thinks he may know, but also isn’t quite sure. 

Is Luca really going to ask Liv to marry him? They’re so young… and he worries about that. But he just got his daughter back and the risk of losing her isn’t something he’s willing to take again.

“Hey.” Luca smiles, extending his hand. “Am I late?”

“No, I’m early.” Timo assures, appreciating the strong handshake Luca gives back. Damn, he’s starting to like him. 

“Thanks for meeting me.”

“No problem.” Timo shifts in his chair, adjusting his shoulders to lower down into a relaxed position. The waiter comes over. Luca and Timo both order beers. They exchange pleasant small talk, discussing Liv’s book launch, and the few activities the family has done around town since they’ve been back on the East Coast. It is lucky that Luca is back in New York so quickly, so he could catch Timo before he returned to Switzerland.

After they order entrees, Timo pushes the topic of conversation forward.

“So, you wanted to talk to me alone?”

“Ah, yeah.” Luca nods, putting his beer back on the table. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I never intended to upset you or cause any trouble between you and Liv. I thought it would be nice if we could spend some time together getting to know one another.” 

“That’s it?”

“Ah…” Luca trails off, licking at his teeth before he hardens his brown eyes. Timo feels himself being pinned in place by the younger man. He almost smiles. “One other thing, if you ever talk to Liv like that in front of me again, I’ll kick your fucking ass. She deserves respect at all times. Clear?” Timo sucks his cheeks in. Damn, now he’s respecting him.

“Crystal.” Timo nods. “Same goes for you. You disrespect my daughter, I’ll come for you.”

“As expected.” Luca raises his beer glass. They clink together then take big gulps like the German- influenced men they are. 

“So college hockey before pros, huh?” Timo starts off. “No juniors?”

“Nah, mom wanted me home.”

“Sounds familiar.” Timo chuckles.

“And she wanted me to have a back up plan with school. So I’ve got a bachelors in finance. Figure once I’m done I’ll do some investment work. My minor was in international investment so maybe even back in Switzerland… if that’s what Liv wants.” 

“You two talk about that?”

“A bit. But, Liv’s got other things to focus on right now.” Timo says nothing, only looking across the table at Luca. “If she’ll have me, I want to marry her.” Luca’s confidence makes Timo’s chest a little less tight. Timo can tell Luca loves Liv more than he originally understood. 

“Her choice.”

“Always. I pray it’s me tho.”

Another thing Timo can relate to.

[nobodysdaydreams]

I have many questions about Pryce and Cutter's backstory, but I mostly want to know more about their insecurities and failures. Also, do they have bones?

(Or my reaction to Episodes 55-58 of Wolf359).

Welcome back dear readers! Should I have reacted to more Wolf359 this weekend? No. I have work to do. But, like Doug Eiffel himself, I cannot just let a cliff hanger like that go unfinished. The events of the last two episodes have been spinning in my head for the last 24 hours and I need ANSWERS DANG IT. Will this lead me to an even bigger cliffhanger that I will surely regret later? Probably, but that's the risk we need to take. As Doug Eiffel said "a leap of faith".

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom @lovelyladylavie

Episode 55: A Place For Everything

Okay, before we start this episode, a few thoughts that have been going through my head:

Obviously Minkowski is brainwashed sadly :( BUT:

Is Jacobi brainwashed too because Kepler ratted him out, or is Jacobi playing as a double agent?

Did Pryce and Cutter brainwash Kepler too, or is he on their team?

Hera is clearly fighting Pryce to warn Doug, but how much is she able to fight past her?

Can Pryce and Cutter even brainwash Lovelace considering she's an alien clone?

I need to figure out where everyone is. I need to know what happened. Was there a struggle or did Cutter just stroll in and snap his fingers?

Oh we're going back in time. Nice to see Minkowski, Jacobi, and Lovelace working together for as long as it lasts.

Okay so they are looking for Doug, and find Dr. Evil and her psychotic murder business man boyfriend instead.

It's nice that they're doing so much to rescue Doug though. But he really should have talked this through with them. And then they all should get the heck out of there before Cutter shows up.

Kepler. BE QUIET. Has he learned nothing? Does he have a death wish?

Kepler: "There are limits to the human body...I'm not talking about Eiffel. Give them a chance to catch their breath" Wow, such caring words from the man who risked the lives of his crew just to get a bottle of Whiskey back.

"Since when you are worried about pushing people too far." GREAT QUESTION MINKOWSKI.

Oh you "knew" Jacobi was on your side did you Kepler? "Maybe there's other things I've been wrong about." NOW? You're figuring this out now, Kepler? It took you that long? Is he awkwardly trying to grab a redemption arc too? I want to hope so, but something tells me he'll flip the second Pryce and Cutter show up.

"Just be wrong quietly" I love Minkowski

A shuttle? Shoot it. SHOOT IT.

Oh great Cutter has a message.

Wow, he even made a fake "We're not your enemy" message.

HERA CAN'T STOP THEM FROM DOCKING. NO NO NO NO NO.

And what are they doing to Lovelace.

Does Kepler know it's them? Oh yeah. He and Hera know. Everyone knows now. Oh boy...

Yeah. Really really bad is an understatement. I hope you guys have a plan. A really really good plan.

Well here come the bad guys.

"Who's gonna come through those doors? High level SI-5?" Jacobi doesn't even know...oh Kepler you really kept them in the dark didn't you?

Um. What was that. Four people? Who are they?

Another Australian guy?

Oh is that Rachel Young? Ew. Why is she there?

Ah...there he is. Yes, Cutter they did have quite a party. Shame you're here to ruin it. "You look awful" don't insult Kepler, Cutter. That's MY job.

THEY TOOK OVER THE MINDS OF THE HERMES CREW? So that's why they're following them.

"This is just a formality, don't you Daniel? Just until you can be...processed." Okay, so he's gonna brainwash him.

And Cutter has been 100% listening in on EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. Who are you lying for? Those "reports" are probably just so he knows how much information you're willing to tell him.

And...there she is.

Oh Cutter named the AI? Interesting.

She said "no" Pryce, does she need to say it again?

HERA DON'T TELL HER THAT.

Oh dear. They got Hera too now.

I'm surprised more people aren't freaking out about Pryce and Hera sharing a voice.

"Neither of them is my type" Then...who is Jacobi, also what do you think picking the lock will do?

Yep. Brainwashed Zombies.

"I'm an SI-5 agent in good standing..." Jacobi, that doesn't matter anymore.

"There isn't someone worse that still hasn't showed up" Oh...but you haven't considered the dear listeners.

Okay so we got Cutter, Rachel, Pryce, a black ops agent, some brainwashed zombies they picked up from Hermes, and...wait what's wrong with Pryce's eyes? Is she a cyborg?

Huh. Pryce would need to be 50 at least to have written the space manual. And Cutter would too, but did so under a different name. Oh this is a development. I assumed they were like in their 50s/60s being played by 20 something years old actors...but I guess they actually do look that young...

...

...I guess they have a great skin care routine? Diet? Biotech? Are they both cyborgs? Do they replace parts of themselves whenever they break down? And if so...just how old are they?

Oh Doug is back! Poor Hera. You can save him, Hera. I know you can.

"Hi Doug :)" Don't like that.

"The Sol" of course Cutter would name it after the sun. He sees himself at the center of the universe.

"Renee is fine. Healthy as a horse" shut it Cutter!

"Hera? Is that you?" I love that Doug is the one that picked up on that and Pryce, being mistaken for Hera is the biggest compliment you could ever hope to get.

Counterpart?

"Why do you have Hera's voice?" Because Miranda is evil and likes to play god. Oh my gosh, they literally do think of themselves as gods. Not them quoting scripture too, I swear with each and every episode Cutter and Pryce make me want to vomit. You're not gods. You're just every other selfish terrible lazy parent who has a kid and thinks that they have a right to control the course of their life. Just because you make or create someone doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want with them!

"What?" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY DOUG.

"1,001 pains in my ass Pryce?" TELL HER DOUG! It's the least of her crimes, but we have to start somewhere.

The...the next you? What um...what happened to the real Carter?

Don't call Doug "good boy" ONLY HERA GETS TO DO THAT.

"You have not been doing a good job as communications officer." HE JUST CONTACTED THE ALIENS. He's the best communications officer you could ever hope to have. Sure, up until now he's done a terrible job, and openly neglected his duties, but this is what happens when you send random ex-convicts with known substance abuse issues and obviously ADHD up into space instead of, oh I don't know, rehabilitating them???

"4 months ago, you took a while to get up here." Exactly what I've been saying.

So they got to Hermes two months ago, but...oh the aliens kept them away! And now Bob let them in, oh no. See Doug, this is why you should have talked to the crew first.

"Go screw yourself" Tell them Doug. They deserve to hear it.

Oh Miranda's torture chair. Of course they have one of those.

"Too bad" it's so unsettling how much Miranda sounds like Hera.

Hopefully, Bob managed to give Doug's mind a little resistance.

It seems that Rachel and Kepler don't get along so well. Bit of a rivalry there?

"Deliver or you're off the team" I don't like that motto.

Oh hi Australian guy. I'm sure my mutuals will be more than happy to tell me more about who he is. But since he's evil and not that interesting, I don't really care.

"He makes you disappear, Warren" Rachel seemed way too happy about that. I always thought she and Warren were on the same level, but I think someone just got promoted and someone else might be getting demoted.

"It will take some time to uncouple it from all the Star Wars trivia" good work Doug, keep the hyper fixation noise in your brain.

"Do you ever get a little tired of hearing yourself speak?" Doug is asking the best questions!

"Defiant until the end. You gotta respect that." "No, you don't." It's interesting how much Pryce and Cutter seem to differ in that Pryce stays very guarded and cold while Cutter embraces a very fake pleasant exterior.

"I am never following your orders ever again." Doug...I love you calling them out, but please do not tempt fate. The more you push, they more they push back. They clearly have a thing for breaking people (and machines).

"That wasn't an offer. There's not an element of choice here." Yeah...saw that coming. Sorry Doug. :(

Hopefully Hera can save him and Minkowski.

Oh Jacobi's been dragged off. So did they get him too?

Ew Rachel's here too. Oh and they have a way to hurt Lovelace. But can they kill her if she's an alien?

"Critical system failure" you go Lovelace!

"I owe you a coke." So apparently Pryce and Cutter don't stay young by avoiding sugar.

New friends? Oh no, he's going to show Lovelace what he did to her friends.

UPGRADE TO THE FULL VERSION? Like Hermes? Deleting certain thoughts? Oh my gosh. Like it's irreversible? Do they want to make the whole world like that?

And also if they had that the entire time, why have they not used that on everyone at Goddard from the beginning? They wouldn't have so many problems if they did that from the beginning. But I suppose that if they can't do the full version right away, the tech is probably pretty complex and expensive.

Okay so Raymond is the name of Australian guy. (Got it from the credits).

Well. At least they didn't get Lovelace's mind. We have that to be thankful for.

Episode 56: Idle Hands

Once again, another episode with no opening credits they just take you right in don't they?

So...is Jacobi not brainwashed? He seems agreeable, but not as robotic as Minkowski.

"Don't push them too hard." "Well it's not like they feel it" "I only turned off their pain receptors. They still have bones, primitive things." Miranda, DO YOU NOT HAVE BONES? WHAT ARE YOU?

Great, now I have the bananas have no bones song stuck in my head.

"It's not like any of them are gonna be alive much longer" And perhaps neither will any of you.

AND STOP WITH THE UNIT 214 STUFF.

"No need to speak. Just give me the sum." Interesting. Miranda really hates the sound of Hera's voice.

"What are you trying to accomplish with these attempts at resistance?" You designed her Miranda. You built and created her. She has your voice. You gave her a personality, presumably similar to yourself. You declared yourself her god. So here's an idea. Why don't you figure it out for yourself?

"My name is HERA...screw you" I'm glad Hera told her off, but the way that Pryce and Cutter scold Eiffel and Hera like they're disappointing children...you really do feel the age gap now.

MINKOWSKI CALLS HER UNIT 214 NOW???

"Things are going to be okay." Did they get Jacobi too? Oh they did.

"Just because they can't talk back doesn't mean they-" good point Hera. We understood what you meant.

Also: "I'll find a way to discipline her later." ... Well, well, well. Looks like someone slipped up there for a moment, didn't you Miranda? What happened to "not her. It?" All of a sudden Hera is a her now? And you talk about her like a disappointing child. But since you clearly just view her as an object, I have to wonder, is it hard losing an argument to someone who sounds like you? Someone who expresses a part of yourself that you perhaps, are a little insecure about? See, Miranda, that's the problem with the whole "playing god" thing. You can act all proud of yourself for making something in your own image, but if you don't like yourself, you might not like the image that looks back at you. Happens to real parents with children all the time. Happens to every human who spends too much time together and starts picking up each other's habits. I am going to enjoy writing some fic about you, Miranda /ominous.

"I'll get creative" I'm sure you will, Miranda. And so will I.

"She was always very persistent" "Watch yourself Warren. You don't want to sound like you admire it" well, it looks like RACHEL knows to refer to Hera as an it, and Kepler doesn't, so it seems Miranda really did slip up there. It's not a writer's mistake if they're being so intentional a few minutes later. Oh, this is going to be so fun for me.

"Pryce gets everyone sooner or later" And Hera was made in her image, Rachel. You might want to think about that.

"Pryce doesn't delete AI, she just corrects them" Oh, the AI that sound exactly like her? The ones that sound just like her? She finds their flaws and corrects them, does she? Not at all reflecting her own self-esteem issues I'm sure.

Replaced cranial architecture? Just because Miranda was bored? Wow, she and Cutter really are the worst.

Rachel is also the worst. Oh and Warren calls her "Miss. Young" while she calls him Warren...I guess they're not on the same level at Goddard or if they were...that's for sure over now and Kepler knows it too.

"I'm not worried about her." It's okay to worry about things other than Whiskey, Kepler. A little character complexity before you die won't be a horrible thing.

"Something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy." And it sounds like Rachel would wish a lot on her enemies. So...what is happening with Lovelace?

Cutter's playing Funzo with her? I assume it's Funzo, but they seem to be playing something. Oh Backgammon. 😂

So this is what Rachel was referring to. Oh the parallels between Cutter and Pryce and Doug and Hera just write themselves at this point.

Lovelace: "I don't eat with creeps" Cutter: 🥺 ...me?

Yes you, you evil creepy murder man.

"I mind every second that you exist." Same Lovelace.

Cutter is smoking? "We all have our vices" That is the LEAST of your vices Cutter. Also between the sodas and cigarettes, clearly Pryce and Cutter haven't been staying alive and looking young due to healthy habits.

"You seem tense" very observant Cutter.

What is it with this man and chai lattes? I've seen a few untagged posts about it, I thought people were exaggerating.

"Miranda and I don't agree on everything" "Tell me you're not about to make me do marriage counseling for you and your work wife" CALL HIM OUT ON IT LOVELACE. 😂 "Even for you that's too evil."

"Miranda is...wonderful. But she can be a little cold." Ah. I see. So you and work wifey disagree on how best to torture people. Luring them into a false sense of security vs. being unfeeling and dark from the start. I suppose that's why they work together, to strike that unhealthy balance.

"I don't wanna do that. It's messy. And that's not how I want to do that. We can be better." So they're doing the good cop, bad cop routine?

And something tells me Lovelace doesn't want a pony. I think she wants you dead.

"Compromise is the cornerstone of a good work marriage" so he doesn't deny it then.

Cutter really is an old man. The smoking, the board games, it's only a matter of time before he starts playing bingo, watching wheel of fortune, and talking about how it was "back when he was young whippersnapper".

I swear, if Cutter and Pryce try to drop their tragic backstories...

Who is asking for Unit 214? Oh Doug. This is so sad. "Thank you 214 :)" "Yeah whatever" "Is everything okay?" EVEN BRAINWASHED HE STILL CARES ABOUT HER. "Pryce is nice" No, she's not Doug!

What happened? HE CALLED HER HERA! DOUG IS BACK! DOUG IS BACK! Doug, you have to pretend, but this is good. He's back. Our boy is back. 💕 Did talking to Hera bring him back?

YES HE IS BACK BABY. TAKE THAT CUTTER, YOU NASTY OLD FART!

"I was alone" Oh...oh. Hera's I am alone monologue. :( 💔

Doug talk like a robot! You need it to be believable. Oh Doug, don't become an actor. Thankfully Australian guy (Raymond, whatever) doesn't seem to be the most perceptive.

"It could have been worse. It could have been Dr. Pryce" Yep. Way worse.

What is Pryce doing that has RACHEL of all people so rattled? I don't like those sounds.

Oh her eye? And I guess that looks pretty gross. And still needs routine adjustment too. Well, well, I think we found some more insecurity. My "ripping apart the villains" sniffer is sniffing out some good stuff here.

Oh yippie. Jacobi's here to help.

Performance review? Review of who? Kepler? Style is Marcus's department, that is very true. HOW BADLY DO YOU NEED JACOBI? oh Kepler is gonna be tested isn't he? Are they gonna make him torture and shoot a compliant Jacobi?

"Boring again..." you're one to talk Cutter. It's always the same with you people.

DOUG, HE CAN TOTALLY TELL. Oh good Cutter is preoccupied and leaving them alone. Just say "yes sir" in a monotoned voice Doug!

Phew. I guess Cutter isn't used to doubting his work wife.

"Wanna know a secret?" 😂😂😂

What's funny is that Cutter could totally make Doug do that to trick her. Oh it looks like Lovelace thought of that.

Doug be incompetent and make references. Not even Pryce and Cutter can fake that. See? She believed that!

Headache? What does that mean? Lovelace's blood? Oh.

So what I'm hearing is that we need to do a few blood transfusions.

"Dr. Pryce can see and hear everything" then you might need to leave Hera.

"I'm here to help! 🥰" Jacobi seems cheery.

Examination table? What are Pryce and Cutter doing to him?

"How old was Dr. Maxwell?" 28. That's...that's young, oh no. That's so sad. Cutter knows it's Kepler's fault too. He's never gonna be done getting tortured with this.

Oh right. His arm is gone, I keep forgetting. They're giving him a prosthetic arm? Well they could have been far less ominous about that. "Prove you belong here." Um...how? He's giving him reading homework? Well that was less ominous than I thought. Wayyyy less ominous.

Hearing Jacobi like this is so funny, I'm sorry. Hopefully, Doug got him the blood and hopefully Jacobi keeps his mouth shut.

Oh. Jacobi didn't make it. Doug you can't risk losing the ground you have. You don't have 10 minutes!

Oh no. It's not Jacobi is it?

Ah. Kepler /derogatory.

I don't know about that Kepler, but I think you might be drowning in Whiskey.

Episode 57: The Devil's Plaything

Nice of them to take us directly back to Kepler's "well, well, well".

"I'm done here" That's the most you've sounded like a robot all day Doug!

See?

Oh and Jacobi is back!

I see Jacobi doesn't know about Kepler's new prosthetic upgrades.

"Putting an end to this. Blowing up the Hephaestus." I hate to say it, but that might be the only solution now.

Doug. Look. I know. I would never pick this solution. But think about your daughter.

Oh, Jacobi has plans to get them off. But um... WHAT ABOUT HERA? She IS the Hephaestus. Can you um...make her the sol? Oh, the sol can hold her consciousness? Well that's good, but Maxwell would be really useful right now. If only Kepler had been the one to go.

That is a good question Doug. Why didn't you get Minkowski first?

Oh gross. Doug. Doug. Do not talk to her. Don't talk to Rachel Young. Don't talk to Dr. Pryce.

"Are you there?" It might not be safe to speak. But Hera is always there, she said so herself.

Visual and thermal sensors? Good plan, but won't Pryce notice?

"As long as it's not Jacobi" *flashes to Jacobi*

"How are things?" Not the best time for small talk Jacobi.

Jacobi knew one of them? This is so sad. He's...yeah they're gone. No one comes back from what Pryce did. 💔 "What they did to them is what you wanted Maxwell to do to me" That was rough, but fair. Jacobi needed to hear that. I like his redemption arc. I'm glad to see it's finally going somewhere.

Rachel really hates Doug 😂

Doug please don't talk to yourself. And remember, you technically can't feel pain. Pretend it's an inconvenience. Why does Rachel sound like a schoolteacher yelling at a first grader while Doug moans and whimpers? 😂

"Oh hello Eiffel. You're bleeding." Indeed, Minkowski.

"Everything is going to be fine." Why do I feel like that might be a phrase Cutter and Pryce use to hypnotize them or something, they say it constantly.

"You just stuck a needle in my neck. That wasn't very nice of you" 😂 Please this is too funny.

"Everything is going to be okay." SEE? SHE LET HIM GO!

Oh no. He called her Hera. Pryce won't allow that.

"Why are you calling her that?" I knew it! Just come up with something... um...Cutter asked me to call her that for his amusement?

oh and even "it's all okay" won't save him now.

How did Minkowski get the walkie-talkie? Oh dear. She's been under the longest too. And she's a trained solider. Doug you should have shot the comms system faster!

"Commander?" "Not quite." "I'm putting the lieutenant on manual." PRYCE CAN JUST SPEAK THROUGH THEM?

DOUG DON'T TELL HER! DON'T TELL HER!

"Don't delude yourself boy" It's little things like calling Doug "boy" that make me realize how old Pryce and Cutter really are. At first I thought they were boomers, but are they from the early 1900s because they seem even older than boomers sometimes just by the way they talk.

Oh dear what's happening now.

"Eiffel is sacrificing himself, what a hero" 😂 Jacobi, never change. Well, do change, but not your sense of humor. That can stay.

The airlock? She's making Minkowski leave out the airlock?

Oh Pryce is onto Jacobi too! "Go to hell" "not before the lieutenant does" Just because you're doing there doesn't mean everyone is Pryce.

Hopefully the alien blood protects them?

Gross. Rachel and Hermes zombies. The worst.

Minkowski! Come back! You can do it!

The Hermes crew went down! They did it! And yes! Punch Young in the face!

No. Not Minkowski. No. She needs to see her husband again!

SHE'S BACK! NOW RUN! RUN FAR AND FAST!

"Have they hit you with a wrench before?" well, no, but they did try it. That's what happens when you lose Jacobi, Rachel. You get hit with wrenches.

Oh poor Hera. It's not your fault.

Alive or dead? Alive, if you can manage. Well at least that's good...I think...

"Only a set back" well let's hope not Cutter. Not interested in your idea of fun.

Episode 58: Quiet, Please

Is this episode about Kepler or Cutter? Because I need them both to be quiet.

Oh right, the plant monster. Good thing Minkowski set up all those weapon stations! Now let's go hunt the real monsters.

The new plan can't be the old plan. Hera told them everything. They know. It's not her fault Jacobi!

Hera, you have to realize that you can't hear this. You have to trust that they will get you off the ship. "Show that WOMAN some respect" YES MINKOWSKI. Very true. But also, you need to make sure they have no way to hear about your plans.

Cutter is also probably waiting on the sol for them in a big evil chair. He's likely practicing his evil speech right now.

This would be a great time for the plant monster to come back and kill Cutter. I wish they keep him around. 💔🪴

"As long as I don't have to be out there" *cuts to Doug out there*

"The only time you're getting visuals from one place" "It's weird I don't like it" Interesting. It probably does feel weird to Hera.

And there goes Doug. I just imagine Kepler telling Pryce "don't worry. I've been tracking them and I'm positive they're in storage, right behind this door" only for Doug to go screaming and flying past the window as Pryce stares at Kepler with a deadpan look.

Talking uses air. Good point. Perhaps they should all talk less. The good news is we haven't heard from Whiskey boy the entire episode. Perhaps he's giving Pryce and Rachel the Whiskey monologue as they go through the ship.

"You're other left" once again Doug is me.

As we listen to Doug go on this journey, I once again return to Kepler's prosthetic arm. I wonder if they can hack it.

Wait what's happening now? Oh the security system is active? Oh dear.

I'm just waiting for things to go wrong. There's no way Cutter Pryce and the gang aren't onto them.

Biometric or retinal... do they need Pryce's eyes? Oh she has spare eyes. I wonder what happens if they break. And how she lost her original eyes. 👁️

"Everyone in favor of going to the lab say "eye"" Lol, "the eyes have it" I love it.

I just know they're gonna show up. I know it. I'm just waiting for it.

There's no way Miranda would leave her lab this unsecured.

Oh...she has a lot of eyes does she? THEY MOVE? Ew. Well... I guess Pryce needs a lot of backups. If I were them I'd just grab one. What's so gross and unsettling about it? I mean, I get that they're eyes that move, but...they make it sound so horrifying. I guess this really must be Miranda's insecurity.

Did he drop the eye? Oh no. This just keeps getting worse. And why wouldn't you grab a backup and smash the rest? If Miranda needs backups, it must be for a reason! Make sure she can't see. It's like smashing someone's glasses or destroying their contact lenses. Get whatever upper hand you can!

Oh. Hi Raymond. Didn't expect you to be here. Um...what now?

An inspiring speech from Doug. Yes, give Hera a moment. I believe in her. 💕

Oh never mind it's Kepler. Gross.

Oh right, Pryce can see in the dark because of her eyes.

"I don't kill people. It's wasteful. I value all my workers highly" I hate Pryce. She's clearly mad about how they broke out of her restraints.

Recycle it! Good work Doug. Recycling and reusing is good the planet. Of course, we're in space, but...oh fire code. ♻️

Oh so Eiffel, Minkowski, Pryce, and Kepler are ejected in space?

Well. Um... that's an awkward group. Perhaps they can play a little Funzo?

Okay, now I REALLY can't listen to anymore. I've wasted way too much time procrastinating. But we're coming to the end now, which is exciting. See you (hopefully) soon everyone!

[mishasminion360]

Young Joel Miller x bakerOFC please, do whatever you want with it….

Where’s that Diego Luna dabble btw?? 👀😶‍🌫️

The Sweetest Thing

Pre-Outbreak Joel Miller x Baker fem!reader

Warnings: Fluff sweeter than buttercream frosting; one swear word; possibly a smidgen of angst at the end, if you reeeeally think about it.

Summary: All the cakes and pastries aren’t the sweetest thing you encounters in your bakery that day.

A/N: Oh, my sweet anon (and I totally know who you are 😝), thank you for this lovely request. I hope you enjoy the sweet result. P.S. Sorry about that Diego drabble. As you know, life got away from me. Way away.

Men always look so damned sheepish when the step into a bakery. It’s as if unless they have a gal on their arm with a sizable sweet tooth, there’s no good reason for them to be setting foot into such a place. Bakeries are too feminine; sugar and sweets are too girly, pastries are too dainty. Butcher shops? Now, that’s a man’s domain. Blood and guts and meat are manly things.

It’s an outdated belief you thought pop culture phenomena such as “The Great British Bake Off” would have put an end to. Boys wear pants, girls wear dresses. Men go to butchers, women go to bakers.

This guy is dismantling an age old stereotype, but sure looks nervous as hell doing it.

“‘Scuse me,” he drawls, approaching your counter with hands in his pockets. “I’m lookin’ to get a cake.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place, partner.”

His brown eyes scan the assortment beneath the glass to the right of the counter. Cakes in all shapes, sizes, and designs.

“Looking for any kind of cake in particular? A certain flavor, I mean.”

“Well, what all have you got?” he asks, turning those eyes—a shade of brown as rich as chocolate ganache—on you.

“Pick your poison. I have the usual suspects—chocolate, vanilla, and marble—or some more adventurous flavors, such as lemon, raspberry, red velvet, banana, orange cream, cinnamon and spice. Et cetera, et cetera, and so on and so forth.”

He purses his lips in an impressed whistle.

“Well, I certainly hope they aren’t poisonous,” he chuckles. “But I’m not picky. What do you recommend?”

“That depends. What’s the occasion?”

“It’s, uh, a birthday,” he mumbles. “Could be the last if I fail to bring a cake home for my daughter. She’ll have my head.”

“Ah, so it’s the little lady’s special day, huh?”

“Actually, it’s mine,” he admits as a pretty pink hue fills his cheeks, as if it mortifies him to confess to turning another year older. “But the cake is mostly for my kid’s sake. I’m on a diet myself.”

“Life is much too short for diets,” you chuckle. “Now tell me, what does your girl like?”

“Well,” he shrugs. “This kid loves her peanut butter.”

“Noted. And what does her dad like?”

“Oh, I don’t….it’s like I said, about that diet and all—“

“And I said life’s too short for such a thing,” you reiterate. “Especially on birthdays. So, what does he like?”

He’s momentarily caught off guard by your abruptness, but it earns you a smile. And boy, it’s a smile you won’t forget anytime soon.

“The old man is partial to chocolate.”

“A gentleman with a taste for the classics. Nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned in the modern age.”

“Just plain old, I think you mean.”

“Not at all, but how old are we talking?”

“36.”

“Not old at all.”

He laughs at that, and you like his laugh just as much as his grin. “Tell that to my bones.”

“I think they heard me,” you say proudly. “I have a very commanding voice.”

“Certainly commanded my attention.”

“Now, I think it was more those flavors I listed that got your attention. Speaking of which.” You withdraw your notepad from your apron and jot down his order. “One peanut butter fudge cake should suit you both nicely.”

“Well, who doesn’t love Reece’s, right?”

You shoot him a look of feigned insult. If you were wearing pearls you’d clutch them for dramatic effect.

“With all due respect, sir, Reece’s is a peddler of cheap, manufactured candy-like substances. I am an artist.”

He clutches his chest in mock dismay. “I do beg your forgiveness, Picasso. I did not mean to offend, and I am humbled to be in the presence of such culinary greatness.”

“Let my cake do the humbling, won’t you?”

“I’d be honored to put ol’ Atkins on the back burner for your masterpiece.”

“That’s quite the compliment.” Now you’re the one blushing. “So, when do you need the Sistine Chapel by?”

“Well, I’m on site until 6. I can probably get here by 6:30. Is that okay?”

Hm. “On site”. Construction, maybe? Hardworking man. Manly man, but not. Man who loves cake. Man who loves his daughter. Ring finger sans ring, you can’t help but notice.

“I typically close at 5, but one of the perks of being the boss is that I can make my own hours. I don’t mind hanging around a bit longer. Especially to fill such an important order.”

“You’re sure?”

“Your kid will kill you if you don’t return with cake, right? I’d hate to hear about that grisly murder on the morning news. And as good as my desserts are they’re nothing to die for.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” he smirks. “I’m expecting to get humbled, remember.”

You agree that the bill will be settled upon his return. He jots his number down on a slip of paper, just in case you have any questions. You only have one and you ask it before he can step through the door.

“If this is a birthday cake then I’m going to give it the birthday flare. So, to whom shall I be wishing a happy 36th?”

He gives you that smile again. “It’s Joel.”

“Happy birthday, Joel.”

“It’s starting to feel like it, yeah.”

“So, 6:30?”

“On the dot. You got my number, so just call if you’ve got any questions.”

“I do this for a living. I think I’ve got it handled.”

“Right. Then….call if you’d like to talk about anything else.”

“Don’t forget about—“ Me, you want to say, but luckily you manage to shut that shit down before you live to regret it. “You’re cake.”

“As if I could,” he assures you, heading out the door. “Nothing short of the end of the world would keep me from coming back.”

And nothing short of the end of the world would prevent you from baking the best cake he’s had in all his 36 years.

And his daughter, too, of course. You hope a little peanut butter fudge will help make this a birthday neither of them would ever forget.

@grimeylady @rav3n-pascal22 @mamacitapascal @insomniamama1 @pedrosbisch @emmaispunk @lv7867 @reonlouw @hawaiianmelodies @pascalsky @pascalpanic @heythere-mel @healingstardust @delorena @pedropasxal @caesaryoulater @fangirling-alert @fromthedeskoftheraven @axshadows @dragon-scales88 @spacepastel-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @pbeatriz-blog @hauntedmama @mswarriorbabe80 @horton-hears-a-honk @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @a-trial-run-on-paper @oonajaeadira @foli-vora @dhadiirah @felicisimor @practicalghost @luz-introvertida @amneris21 @hb8301 @tanzthompson @littlemisspascal @dobbyjen @supernaturalgirl20 @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @trickstersp8 @neganwifey25-blog @twistedboxy @emiemiemiii @energeticspookyshark @thevoiceinyourheadx @pedr0swh0r3 @anamiad00msday

[blair-the-juggalho]

how about twdg's gang with the reader taking care of a child?

Ah ok! Idk if you meant a random child or not so I’m going to assume random? If this is wrong feel free to re request! Sorry if these are short!

TWDG Ericsson gang with the reader taking care of a child

Violet

She relates to you a lot and will always be there if you want to talk about it

She respects you for it too

I mean after Minnie and Sophie, she’s been looking after tenn pretty much

She’d always be nice to you and the kid your looking after

She may not be the best at it but she is trying!

Mitch

Like vi, he understands you since he’s like a big brother to Willy

He always gives you respect because he knows that keeping a kid safe this this world is hard af

He wount really talk to the kid alot but he’d be more nicer to them and try to encourage Willy to be nice to them too

this man is horrendous with adivce but he’d try his best if you ever asking him for help

he totally respects you! :D

Marlon

He was low key a bit worried when he found out

I mean he loves to see new people but more mouths too feed? Especially a kid?

That’s a lot

He’d never turn you away though!

And he does try to help out all the time

And he’d try and make your kid feel at home!

Mans just a wee bit worried that he won’t be able to provide for everyone

But I’m sure everything will be ok!

Louis

This man loves that you have a kid!

It’s now is mission to lighten your day and make your kid super duper happy!

He’s constantly making jokes so that you and your kid can take a break from this scary world

He really respects you for looking after a little kid!

It’s a lot of responsibility and he understands that!

He might not be experienced but he’d help in anyway he can!

Tenn

He’s happy to have another kid around!

And he will always be nice to you and your kid!

He may be young but he’s very smart and he knows it must be stressful at times

He will always off to play games or draw with your kid, it gives you a break and he has someone to play with!

He’s very happy!

Willy

He’s also really happy to have another kid around!

He wouldn’t be as friendly as tenn but he wouldn’t be mean either!

He’s just chilling with you two

After Mitch encourages him to go and speak to you and your kid more he’ll always come up to you guys just chatting rubbish

My guys just happy to have new faces around!

Aasim

Like Marlon, he was a tiny bit concerned about if the school would be able to provide for everyone

But he’d never say that too you since he doesn’t want to worry you

He’s very chill around you and the kid your looking after

He’s not a very social person but he put a solid 5 minutes into being sociable with you guys lmao

But fr he’d help you out if you ever needed it

He’s definitely in experienced but he’d try and give you some solid advice

Omar

He’s happy to have a kid around

And he respects you for looking after them!

He’d try his best to give you two sneaky extra portions

But that’s a secret!!! So shh

But he’s always there for you and the kid no matter what :)

Ruby

This girl is totally stoked that your looking after a kid!

She’s always there to help you two and always tries to talk to you both

As long as you teach this kid ( or the kid already has) good manners she loves to spend time with you too!

She has a lot of respect for you so she’ll always back you up

Brody

Like Marlon and aasim, Brody was a tiny bit worried

But when she was around you two she was nothing but sweet

She’d help you out in many ways!

She does love how caring you are

It’s one thing she truly likes about you!

[the-illiterate-pirate]

PACO CONTENT FRESH OFF THE PRESS

I did it I'm the best I made the first JoJolands reader insert SUCK IT

Paco is so cool. Araki is a G for having a character that canonically got held back in school and I applaud him for that

Lover Boy

TITLE SUBJECT TO CHANGE I WANNA USE IT FOR SOMETHING ELSE but I couldn't think of anything. Notes: SFW, reader is gn but Paco calls them "Doll", enemies to lovers speedrun, Paco and Reader curse like. A lot. Usagi uses text speech because I KNOW HE DOES

Ever since your first mission with Jodio and his team, Paco despised you. You couldn't tell why, for all you knew, there wasn't anything you'd done to irk the guy. You got along well with Dragona, Usagi was happy to have someone new, hell, it was Jodio who introduced you to the group. So why the hell was Paco so against it?

Paco wasn't up front with his disdain against you, but you could read between the lines. He was meaner when he talked to you, unlike the others, took any chance he could to manhandle you and even went as far as leaving bruises where he grabs. And worst of all Paco treated you like a child. You were never allowed to do anything around the bastard. You hated it. Paco could treat you like shit, but you would bite back, too.

Currently you were stuck in a hotel. It was your job to grab the rooms at a nearby hotel while the others made some last minute plans for the latest mission. Nothing big, but it was pretty important. The clock on your phone read 6:26. You were early, but waiting in the hot sun and carrying heavy bags in such a dodgy part of the city was a big no go.

"Hi~! I'm here to check in under Joestar? I am a bit early, I hope that won't be a problem~!" You tried on your cheeriest facade, despite how the pitch of your voice grinded on your nerves. The man behind the counter seemed to enjoy it, unlike you. The sound of your happy voice made him perk up in the slightest. "Hello! Here, let me see... Ah, yes, we have two rooms under the name! It says you're supposed to check in at 6:30, but being four minutes early shouldn't be a problem!" He entered something into a computer you couldn't see. The loud taps on the keyboard echoed in the empty entrance room. "Rooms are already paid for... I'll just need to see some ID to make sure you're twenty-one or older."

Shit.

Without missing a beat, you grabbed the fake license in your pants pocket, "'Course, sir!"

You had faith in Dragona's skill in making fake IDs, didn't make it any less nerve wracking to be checked. What a stupid rule. One wrong step and your plans for the next three days would blow up in your face.

The young man behind the counter studied your card closely. This time you heard the keyboard clatter followed by the click of a mouse. Every jab at the plastic keys felt like a nail in your coffin.

He knew it was a fake. He was waiting for you to crack. There was no way a check-in normally took this long.

"And done! Thank you for waiting, the internet has been acting slow lately,"

Oh?

He gave you your driver's license back along with two plastic cards. "Those are your room keys; don't lose them! They'll give you access to the pool, as well as the laundry room. You'll go to the third floor using the elevator down your left, rooms 308, and 309, on your right!"

"Alrighty! Thank you, sir!" You blew him a teasing kiss before grabbing your bags and scurrying to find the elevator. Once you entered and jabbed your finger into the button marked with a fading 3, you shot Usagi a text.

Rooms are secured

gr8!

ur rm is 309 relax untl we get there. u deserve it!!!

Translation: Great. Your room is 309, relax until we get there, you deserve it.)

You roll your eyes but smile fondly at Usagi's stupid way of texting. "Green" and "Pinkie" said they'd be here to retrieve you in an hour or two, so that gave you plenty of time to clean yourself up. A whole hour in a nicely air conditioned room and you didn't have to do jack shit. Sweet.

The crisp air conditioning hit you immediately after you opened your door. You were forced to let loose a deep sigh, eyes closing as you took in the sweet, sweet feeling of heaven on earth. This had to be what heaven was like: dark, cold, with a soft freshly made bed calling your name like a hymn.

Only one bed? Usagi did say this was your room... Maybe the boys were going to share a room, and they gave you your own space! Lucky~. But if you had to split with someone else you were definitely picking Dragona. He was warm, and a good cuddler.

The handle to your door jiggled, just as you had slipped off your shoes to relax in bed. Of course the door was locked, and you'd have to open it since you had the key. You sighed, exhausted, but got up anyway. You swore, if it was Jodio to retrieve you for the mission, you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You just got the rooms! You wanted to relax! And maybe check out the pool.

You opened the door about to greet whoever it was until the words caught in your mouth. The hat. The frame. The stupid, shitty belts.

"Paco?!"

"You?! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Trying to relax, can't say it'll be easy after seeing your ugly mug so soon." You snicker, pretty proud of yourself for coming up with that so quickly. "You come here for your room key? It's right here, so go bother someone else while I destress." You took the plastic card out of your pocket, dangling it in front of his angry face like car keys to a baby.

"Leave? You're in my room, doll."

"Doll?!"

He pushed past you, ignoring the disgusted grunt when he put his hand on your arm. He crossed his arms over his broad, bare chest, and you knew immediately what he was doing, standing above your bed. You hissed, "Don't you dare."

Paco raised an eyebrow as if to say "Or what?"

You both stared the other down. Until Paco sealed his fate, sitting on the edge of your bed. "Ugh, damnit! Can't I have anything good without you messing it up?! This is my room!"

"You're room? I already told you, it's mine! Usagi himself said so!"

"Usagi told you?" You say, skeptical. "Whatever. Are you sure you didn't get the numbers mixed up? Surely you didn't actually think you'd get your own room?"

"Oh, what. You think I got 308 and 309 mixed up?!"

"I wouldn't doubt it... You don't exactly have the cleanest record, Paco. Remind me, who was the one that got held back in school like, two times?"

That pissed him off. Paco reacted like you'd just slapped him in the face. You took a little victory in getting to wipe off that shitty smirk he had.

"...God, what the hell is your damage? Why do you have to be such an ass?"

"Someone has to knock you down a couple pegs." You shot back heatedly.

Quickly, he was off the bed again. This time he marched right back to you, grabbing your arm in a bear trap and your chin in his other hand. You were used to his manhandling, Paco didn't scare you. But you understood he was bigger than you, and he wouldn't have any trouble taking you down. Paco didn't scare you, but even you could admit he was intimidating from this angle. He had his crooked nose right against yours, beady black eyes staring you down, but you stayed strong.

"It's hard to treat you seriously when you act like such a bitch." He rumbled against your face. "Does nothing good ever come out of your mouth?"

"On occasion. But it's only when I'm not talking to someone I hate." His grip got a little tighter. "Now let go of me."

"I'll let go once you apologize."

"You're gonna be waiting for a while, then." You say rather smug. "I'm not apologizing for shit."

"It's hard not to do anything to you sometimes. You know that? I try not to do anything brash but it's pretty fucking hard when you don't shut your damn mouth."

"Aw, not a fan of my voice, Lovelantes? You'll have to shut me up yourself, then."

"Shut up."

You lean in closer, enough to feel his ragged labored breathing fanning your face. "Make me."

Suddenly, his mouth was on yours. The pressure of his lips pressing against yours shocked you frozen. His kiss was all teeth and drool, angry huffs of breath against the side of your face as he kept pressing deeper. You weren't sure why your body decided to kiss back, one hand tangling in his straw colored hair and the other running against the muscles of his arm. He felt solid and strong, and in a way you thought it was really hot.

He moved forward, and you moved backwards, keeping this up until Paco had the back of your knees against the bed. You fell, lips only disconnecting once, when your head hit the mattress, and his mouth was on yours again immediately. The hands that were once in a vice grip against your wrist and chin now cupped your face with a surprising gentleness you didn't know Paco was capable of. While your hands explored his body wildly, Paco was placid on top of you, lips much more softer than before as they moved against yours.

"You're not nearly as smart as you think you are." Paco spoke against your lips after you broke apart. He watched you catch your breath. You stayed up at him dumbfounded, and he stared back, the faintest smile on his face.

"I don't... I-I don't get it. I thought, you hated me. What changed?"

"Hate you? I never hated you! You're just... Very annoying. Most of the time." He chuckled a little. "It's a little cute. But only sometimes."

You blurt out, "But–! What about all those times we fought, like just now!"

"Yeah... Thinking about it now, it probably wasn't the best way to talk to you. I thought it was all play fighting, like what me and Jodio do! I didn't think you took it to heart... Not until you said you hated me." He pouted. And shit. It was... Kind of cute.

You desperately try to understand how you could have possibly missed something so big. As gargantuan as. A crush? "You were always so rude. And you never let me do anything on missions. Why's that?"

He clicked his tongue. "You aren't exactly the most level headed person. If I just let you go around doing whatever, you'd get hurt. I didn't want that."

"Oh, my god." You fall back into the bed, staring past Paco at the ceiling. He finally let go, a little reluctantly, and collapsed beside you to do the same. "I can't believe it. Am I really so dense that I couldn't tell you... Liked me?"

"Yeah. You are." Paco laughed lightly, "..But I guess I wasn't any help either. Sorry. I don't actually think you're a bitch either. You have your moments... But you're mostly pretty cool."

"Yeah. Likewise." You pause. Then add on, "I don't think you're stupid. Or ugly. Actually you're... You're kind of... cute."

Paco turned to shoot you a hot look and a quirked eyebrow. "Really? You think I'm cute?"

"Don't let it get to your head."

"You're a little late, doll." You roll your eyes at the pet name.

He wiggled a little closer, on his side now. He gently grabbed your face again to make you look at him. The playful expression was gone, changed with something a little more serious. "Since we still have time to burn. I want another kiss. A real one this time." You giggled,

"Was the first one not good enough?" But you wiggled a little closer. 

"It was. But I know you can do better." He sealed your lips in another kiss. One softer than the first, no burning emotion or anger. It was quicker, and left your lips tingling in a good way.

And you kissed again. And one more. Until you decide to collapse into a shared mess of tangles, enjoying the bed and the AC together until duty called.

  

You have (2) new messages!

You, Paco, 🐰Bunny Boy🐰

Hi!! How are u enjoying ur room?

Oops! Didnt mean 2 send that to both of you! Srry!!!

Now calling: 🐰Bunny Boy🐰......

[blues-sues]

First friend

(Ft. Rue and Banny)

The walls were stark white. Always were. Never changed, never shifted.

She would watch these walls for hours, waiting for something, anything to happen.

Sometimes things would. A grunt would come and get her for her routine check up but after she'd be quickly put back in her room. Rarely let out.

She was much too young to wander out alone. Not trusted enough.

Her eye was still recovering, the bandages bloody and itchy. So horribly itchy. She wanted to claw at it but she'd been yelled at too many times. She'd face punishment if she tried again.

She needed something to distract her. She didn't care if it was another fight. If she saw that Mightyena again, she'd-

Whirring. She stiffened as the door slid open behind her, clicking along its journey. She waited. She was told never to turn around until instructed. Last time she did, she saw a needle and had sent the man flying.

However, part of her knew this one wasn't a human. Something about the tiny steps it took told her such.

"S'alright. Ya c'n turn." Its voice sent a shiver down her spine. It was deeper than any she'd heard and had a faint echo to it- like it had a constant copycat attached.

However, she listened and looked over her shoulder to see it. However, nothing was there.

"Down 'ere."

Her head lowered until finally she spotted it. A small pokemon with black pigmentation and red eyes that look into hers curiously.

"N'mes Banny. Nice ta meetcha." It held out its hand, the middle of its arm sagging in the middle where its elbow would be.

"Uhm." She stared down at him. "Mewtwo." She replies, putting out her own and giving a shake.

"Ah. Righ'. Mewtwo." Banny's eyes narrow. "Ya gots quite th' reputation."

"Do I?" She questioned. Sincerely she's not quite sure why people would speak of her. She's not that interesting- besides being the last of her kind. At least that's what her guards told her.

"Duh. Ya th' newest memb'r. Everyone's dyin' to meet ya." The Pokemon shuffled and scrambles its way to sit beside her. "Looks like somebody 'ready did, tho."

She doesn't miss the way its eyes seem to look over her cuts and bruises from her battle. She couldn't. She's wired by now to notice every single movement near her.

"Was it th' brat? Big ol' stinky dog?"

She snorted. She couldn't believe she just snorted in front of a guest. However, Banny seemed unbothered. In fact, it grinned wider.

"I- well, I wouldn't say that." She covered her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. "But, yeah, he was… interesting."

"Ya c'n say 'e was a bitch, I won' tell." Banny offers, its tail beginning to wag. "'re both thinkin' it."

"Where did you even come from???" She stuttered out between her laughs, clutching her stomach.

"Oh, y'know."

"No, I don't!"

"Bit of 'ere, bit of there. 've come from everywhere." The Banette begins to sway its legs, eyes curving upwards into crescents as it eyes her. "Y're bett'r than anyone else 've met. All got sticks up 'eir asses."

"That's rude!" Still, she has to resist giggling. Something about this 'mon has her feel like she's being told marvelous jokes.

"N't wrong~" Banny sang out, before breaking into a fit of laughter of their own.

And it was pleasant to sit there, laughing with it, but she also knew it couldn't stay.

Nobody could.

Finally, once she's regained her breath, she opens her mouth to address it but suddenly the doors swing open again and in marches-

A Zoroark.

Oh, but she's seen this one before. It's hard to forget a Pokemon that's half-shiny.

"Captain!" She squeaks out, back straightening as they draw near. But, their attention isn't on her.

Whipping around, they grab the Banette by the tail. "Banny, you are not authorized to be here!" They barked, lifting it so its eyes were level with theirs.

Banny didn't look fazed. "H'h? Y'sure? Swore I w's."

"You are the bane of my existence, you rat! Leave Mewtwo alone, they have training in an hour!" Captain snaps, dropping Banny abruptly only to start dragging it out by the arm.

She watches, eyes wide in awe as Banny still has the confidence to raise its other arm and wave. "G'dbye! S'ya next Chr'stmas!"

She rose her own and bid her own farewell with a sway of her arm. However, it took her a moment to process that...

It wasn't Christmas.

She tried to keep it at bay but once the door slid shut, she burst into another round of giggles. What a silly Pokemon!

-----

Banny, on his way out, of course heard. Their smile stretches wide upon hearing the laughter.

"What's got her so jolly?" Captain grunts, narrowing their eyes to glare suspiciously at Banny. "Did you infect her with something?"

"Yeah. 's called joy. Not tha' ya guys would know 'bout it."

Captain merely rolls her eyes in response. "Banny, you know this is for her own good. If she were out there, she'd-"

"-be happy? Wit' 'er real fam'ly?" Banny interrupted swiftly. "Ya act like 're savin' h'r but y'know we ain't."

"It'd do you good to keep your mouth shut." Was the Zoroark's snarled response. "That zipper ain't working."

"S'rry, it only lets me talk if 's th' truth."

The Banette was then promptly tossed into their own room and they shrug as they watch the door slowly start to slide shut, Captain's fierce glare locked on him.

Well, guess not leaving the room this week either.

[lavender-long-stories]

Spoilers for Death Wishes | Chapter 2 | Rated T

Hinata flinched back as she glanced into the window. She checked behind her. There was no one there. She looked back at her reflection, just her. She let out a few heavy breaths as she stared back at herself. There was… She was going insane. 

There was a dark figure to her right, she swore she saw it there, but now it wasn’t. Was it the ghost of her past finally trying to haunt her directly? Was lamp-post-man torturing her for dreaming him up? “Have your fun.” She whispered. “I deserve it.”

Hinata frowned at herself in the window and continued on her way. Maybe she needed more sleep. 

Behind her, just out of the corner of her eye, lamp-post-man stood with his eyebrows knit together as he watched her walk away. She had looked right at him. She shouldn’t be able to do that. 

Itachi looked at the reflection in the window. Even he couldn’t see himself. How did she? He stepped forward before catching himself. It was probably nothing. Humans thought they saw things they didn’t all the time. Itachi turned his head in the other direction as the girl tucked her nose into her scarf, checking the street before crossing. Don’t get involved.

Getting involved never leads to anything good.

--**-- Kisame chewed a rice ball with his mouth open, legs dangling over the side of a tall building, watching the human scuttle around like ants below. 

Itachi appeared behind him, his long hair whipping around his face with the high-altitude winds. “Why are you eating again?” Kisame shoved the last of his bite in his mouth, side-eyeing him. “You wear a coat.” Itachi shrugged, moving his hand in his coat pockets out. “It’s a nice coat.” “It’s nice food.” Kisame countered, offering him the container. Despite his complaint, Itachi took one and took a bite. Food must feel different for humans. Sure, he could taste it, but he didn’t know what it felt like to eat something because he was hungry or eat until he was full. Humans put a lot of emotion into their food. They gathered for food. Celebrated it, celebrated with it. Left it to their dead. Like that girl… who leaves unripe bananas but a ripe watermelon? Below, a loud horn echoed, joined by several more and a few panicked yells before a smash of metal. “Ready?” Kisame pointed down. Itachi inclined his head, and Kisame slipped off the edge disappearing and reappearing next to Itachi on the street next to the carnage caused by the crash. “What do you think happened?” “Fate,” Itachi commented, crouching down in the car. Kisame face twisted in annoyance, but what else did he want? “Ah.” He kneeled to the kid in the back seat. “This one is young. You got a lollipop or something?” Itachi ignored him as he pulled the driver's soul out. The man looked around, frantically trying to dig into the car for his daughter. Kisame pulled her soul out and held her in his arms, rounding the car to give her to her father. The man held onto her desperately, checking her for wounds. Humans rarely put together that they were dead right away. The man kissed his daughter's head and smiled at them. “Thank you.”

No. This one knew. --**-- The hum of the sewing machine overtook the radio in the back room as Hinata pushed through the rough fabric, back stitching at the end, pulling it out with a smooth movement. She ran her fingers down to ensure the stitching was correct before snipping the threads, putting it up on a hanger, and seeing what was wrong with the next garment. 

A lot of donation items ended up in the trash because shops didn’t want to spend the time or resources to fix them.

Machines that still worked were discarded because no one opened them up to find out what was wrong. Sometimes, it was just a good clean or a bit of oil. Heavy wood furniture was replaced because of a scratch or a tear in the upholstery, missing glass, or hardware.

That’s what they sold. Second chances. All the scrap just needed a little attention to be useful again. Just like them. Hinata met Kiba and Shino in university. All of them became dropouts before the end of that year. Another failure under her belt, she couldn’t go home this time. The shop was born of a silly idea that slipped out of her mouth, but they ran out. Hinata and Shino were handy, willing to learn small skills to fix what they found, and Kiba was friendly and good at finding treasures in the trash. Kiba saw potential in everything. Shino was more practical. Hinata was just happy that she was useful for a few hours a day.  

Once word got around, they started getting more business doing repairs for customers than they did sales. They slowly stopped digging through trash to fix as more people offered them their old broken treasures. 

Hinata always wondered what the items people found forgotten in the back of their closets and drawers meant to those who lost them. Hinata turned off the machine to bring her stack to the floor to put them up on the rack. Shino hissed, hunched over a watch. He flicked down a different magnification for his watchmaker's glasses. Something he fixed himself. He switched tools to make his tiny adjustments. He could do surgery on a beetle with those.

After a few more small movements, Shino set down the tools. Hinata leaned on the counter to hear the tiny rhythmic clicks. “Another one back to life.” “Not that it wanted to be.” Shino replaced the face. “I’m sure someone will put it to good use.” Hinata brushed a speck of counter. Shino glanced up with his head still down in his work. “You done?” “I’m not starting another stack today.” Hinata laid her head down on the counter to watch his fingers move. They became unfocused as she looked past him out the window, and her head shot up. “Hmm?” Shino asked as Hinata ran to the door to peek out it. “What?” Hinata looked down the street, but there was no one there. Maybe it would have been rude of her to rush to see him if he was real. “I thought I saw… a big blue man…” With lamp-post-man, was her imaginary man gaining friends? Hinata shook her head, turning back to Shino. “Never mind.” Shino shrugged it off, closed the watch, and put it in the case.

--**-- Itachi glanced back at her, widely looking up and down the street, when she found nothing. She blinked and made a face as she came up empty-handed. She saw them pass by the window but couldn’t see them now. Kisame looked back to see what he was interested in. “Hm?” “She can see us,” Itachi commented. “She’s not screaming. I doubt it.” Kisame watched her go back inside, confused. “See?” “It’s like she can only see us when she isn’t looking.” That didn’t explain it. That sounded like a riddle in his own head. Kisame shrugged.

Death Wishes

Pairing: Itachi x Hinata Rating: T

Description: Hinata finds herself the center of a mysterious being's attention, but what is she hiding that makes it so comforting to be not alone?

Tags: Romance  |   Fluff and Angst  |  Hurt/Comfort  |  Happy Ending  |  Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements  |  Alternate Universe - Modern Setting  |  Ghosts  |  Grim Reapers

Image by Scott Rodgerson

[larcenywrites]

And which one is your favorite? 👀

NOT AGAIN AH I wanna go for young but I DONT KNOW BECAUSE LIKE- GAH there’s so much to unpack there and then when I say one, I’m like “oh, but x has these qualities too which I love writing about” uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh I think still young only because that’s something that can be played around with a little more I feel like? Like that’s such a clean slate to draw on because there’s not as much info there as opposed to the older Tony we all know very well and know what’s out of character or what he has or hasn’t done! Like of course there’s still some things we know for sure about his younger self and certain things would only make sense A Certain Way, but for the most part anyone can interpret him in many different ways and pretty much all of it can make sense! And I do think that’s neat and fun :D

But it’s also interesting to think and write about, well, Iron Man! Because there’s a lot that can also be unpacked and interpreted there! From trauma and domestic life to juggling happiness and health- because that’s a much more complicated life! But I love to write and think about him pre!iron man as well, but not like I would write younger Tony. While he’s still been that billionaire playboy CEO but not quite yet Iron Man. There’s plenty to try and sift through there too- Especially if you wanna analyze how he made it to that point and why he acts like that! And through the power of fiction, we can theorize and create a world where Tony had some better help along the way in those younger years that could’ve prevented that altogether.

Overall it’s hard to choose because this character is so so dynamic and lovely but at the same time still open to so much interpretation! But that’s just if we’re talking about nothing more than the interest in writing and interpreting.

Our younger version here is obviously still pretty experienced, though still with emotional distress that shows up during a hard fucking as much as during the willing vulnerability of a sweet forehead kiss. He’s still learning (in many different ways) and it can be shown in, well, many different ways! He’s simply more overpowering than dominating, and trying to find release and comfort and even love in these physical pursuits. As we head into those older versions it still gets just as dynamic. Probably mostly uncaring and unattached for a while- this time it really is nothing more than stress relief and perhaps the fucked up triumph of an asshole with a reputation to keep. Anything more is too vulnerable now and too much of a hassle, not after everything that’s happened and the reworking of that newly fragiled mind that built walls to unfortunately keep the bad stuff in and keep the good stuff out (though it wasn’t entirely his own doing- and not consciously at least). Maybe there’s a fleeting thought here and there. Someone’s hung around in his bed a few too many times and he starts to think it could be a nice thing to have. That maybe he should actually try to be… something. But that sounds like a long commitment and fixing up all those internal issues and then the thought becomes exhausting. He’s too tired. He’s too busy. He doesn’t have that kind of time- hell, he could do so much more with all that time. All he has to do is cut off that contact and go on with what’s always been normal and what’s always worked.

But then, something happens. No, unfortunately nothing good. Something about a military demonstration gone wrong, terrorist-inhabited caves in the desert, being kidnapped for forced labor, something not mentioned but not well hidden under his shirt… No one needs to know anymore than that. For the first time since 1991, the fear of a future unknown combined with a another youth wasted spent on autopilot catches up to him, but this time his pursuit for peace of mind isn’t quite so destructive (or is it?). And now, faced with mortality and morality, so many switches are flipping in that head and if he doesn’t try to do these things now he might not ever be able to. Maybe he can make room for love, finally- no, he can. And whoever’s unlucky enough to end up in his arms, he’ll be sure to show his gratitude in every way.

We skip ahead and hopefully by now he’s with someone, because dear god does he need an anchor he can trust and it would be far too difficult to find one now. It would be far to difficult to deal with all of this all on his own. The stress of the world is quite literally on his shoulder, and the distress is evident in the way he works and the way he walks. The only safe space left is in his own home and preferably in the arms of that anchor. The distress is evident in the way he hides and the way he holds. He can’t control the sky falling out or even his own damn team or even his own weapons at times, but here he can control the narrative and spill out the day’s trauma, and in return replace it with something more gentle and sweet when he decides it’s safe to give up that control again- but this time on his own terms.

He’ll never quite escape the trouble and heartbreak that’s haunted him since childhood. Maybe it’s because he’s never actually changed? Is he the same person now as he used to be? Does he want to be? Do others want him to be? He can rethink it all he wants and what could have been, but perhaps the story would’ve always came out the same. Maybe it boils down to who’s story could be manipulated the most, or who deserves more to have their unfortunate tale mended by the end. As much as I would love to show him how to love and make those early tragedies and hardships easier to bear and without all those bad habits and isolated walls, I find it hard to say that I wouldn’t just as easily give everything up to clean those wounds in a warm bath and finally bring comfort to a hero that doesn’t want to be strong anymore.

Which one is your favorite?

[fervency-if]

How would the ROs describe the other ROs if all of them were to meet each other?

Oh, this is fun!

The Physician: 'Aubrey quite amuses me... Our worldviews certainly don't align with one another, but I rather like the young man despite it all. We would never become bosom companions, though. I do not have anything against Vesa as a person. I would like to say that we would get along well enough if we spent time together, me and her, even though we aren't thoroughly compatible. Narciso... As a child, I learned the expression if you don't have anything pleasant to say, don't say anything at all. The expression simplifies matters altogether too much, naturally, but I will simplify these matters; I will not say anything about Narciso. I most certainly like Roswhen. I find them both friendly and pleasant. I rather like Elan, too. He's a tad rough... But I would say that's part of his charm in a sense.'

Aubrey: 'Thanks to that physician, I'm not a rotting little pile underground now... It says it all, no? She's an intriguing person, too. I like her mask. Ah, I do like Vesa, very much so. It's always fun to spend some quality time with that woman. Narciso seems to be a bit of a diva at first glance, which is a tad grating, but if you know him better, he isn't bad. Not bad at all, actually. Roswhen is... I don't know. There isn't much for me to say about them. I don't dislike them, but I don't think we would become close friends or anything of the sort. I can't say I understand Elan too well, so I don't have much to say about him either. He's... fine, he seems fine, and that would be all.'

Vesa: 'That doctor seems like an interesting woman, and I like her style! It's delightfully mismatched, don't you think? I think I would say that we would have no problem being civil towards one another. Aubrey is so good! He's fun, and he's talented, too. I think we will become close friends in the future. I appreciate Narciso dearly, of course... I view him as a dear friend of mine. It's not easy to actually get to know him, and I probably don't have the full picture at all, but he means a lot to me even so. Roswhen is a good person I would say. I wouldn't mind befriending them whatsoever - I think we could have good times together. I like Elan as well, but unfortunately, I don't know what he thinks about me. He seems a bit nervous around me...'

Narciso: 'That... doctor, as she calls herself... She unsettles me in a sense, and I do not appreciate it. I can't say I like her at all. I have no desire whatsoever to get any closer to her. I like Aubrey, and find him quite endearing in a sense. I'm happy that he goes his own way. Vesa is a friend of mine, and I'm pleased to have gotten to know her. I enjoy her energy. I quite like Roswhen. They're a talented musician. I certainly appreciate Elan, and I do believe that he would become quite dear to me, should we get to know one another better. He carries his heart upon his sleeve from time to time, and that takes strength.'

Roswhen: 'I really like the physician! She's a bit secretive, but that's not a problem. I don't want to pry or anything like that. I'm sure she has her reasons. About Aubrey... Oh, what can I say? He's odd, but I don't know if it's good odd, or bad odd, and therefore I feel rather indifferent. Vesa is a nice woman. Always a smile upon her face. Do you think it's sincere? I think it seems sincere! Narciso is quite nice, too. I would like to discuss music with him, I don't know that much about the city music he sings yet. When it comes to Elan, he's just lovely! Of course, I like to insult him, but he knows that I'm doing it with affection. He's my little brother, I don't care that he's older and bigger than I am... That has nothing to do with it.'

Elan: 'Nothing wrong with the doctor. I'm glad that her companion and her chose to save me, so I owe her the biggest favour one can imagine. I don't know how to describe Aubrey. He's a confusing bloke. I think that there would always be a little wall between the two of us. Vesa is friendly, but, ah. Perhaps a little bit... intimidating? I'm being silly, of course... I want to get closer to Narciso, and I hope he would want to get closer to me, too. He's calming, pleasant, and graceful. Roswhen is Roswhen, of course. What can I say? They're a rascal, trying to push my buttons... But I don't think they would do that if they didn't notice that I'm having a chuckle, too. Yes, I'm very happy to have met them.'