#again this being my personal definition of cool
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I saw someone ask about what daemons the dbda cast would have (from his dark materials) and I thought i’d give my choices:
Charles would definitely be a dog, maybe even a wolf adds on to his thing about being scared of becoming a violent person like his father.

I think an owl would really fit Edwin? It’s symbolic for wisdom and also they look cool visually. I was thinking a crow but with Monty existing I had to vito it.

I think Niko would have a butterfly because in some cultures they are seen as the souls of the living and the dead, believed to be the spirits of the deceased on their journey to the afterlife. They also symbolize joy, longevity, and marital happiness so I thought with foreshadowing and everything it fit Niko really well.

Wanted to go with a witchy daemon for Crystal since she’s a seer but once again cats are the cat kings thing so I decided a bat would be cool. Bats, particularly in European cultures, have long been associated with witchcraft, black magic, and darkness, due to their nocturnal nature and ability to fly.

I think it’d be cool if the night nurse had the same daemon as Kashi, as in they’d both have an angler fish.

Jenny, because it’s ironic as hell, would have a pig as her daemon. They’re also known to very smart pigs so it works out.

Other characters would be very straightforward:
Ester would have a snake, Monty a crow and the cat king a cat.


#daemon#his dark materials#dbda#save dead boy detectives#niko sasaki#charles rowland#edwin payne#crystal palace#the cat king#esther finch#monty finch#jenny#kashi dead boy detectives#the night nurse#share your opinions plz I’d love to hear them ❤️
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Hihihihi ummmmm may I please request more Verena I may or may not be very attached to her pawsibly
Maybe she has to take reader to work because she couldn't get a babysitter hehehe
(Ooh also also could I pawhaps be 🐇 anon :3!!)
+ like 2 more Verena asks, HERE'S MORE MOTHER FOR ALL
reader's not having a good time (platonic yan! mafia boss mom oc)
warnings; yandere behavior, infantilism, uhm i got carried away with this, kidnapping, reader gets knocked out, use of guns, verena snaps.
--
You didn't know why you were sitting in on the meeting. You feel like a little kid interrupting adult business, sitting on the couch watching as Verena barely engaged the belligerent man in the one-sided argument.
She'd cast you small glances, winking at you when you look at her. Laughing softly when you look away, clutching the stuffed bear to your chest.
"Are you even fucking listening?" He says, particularly loudly. Verena sighed, finally looking at the man in front of her. "No. Because this isn't something I care about, your little gang thought they could fuck around in my territory. I'm telling you to get out, you should be glad I'm even entertaining you with a meeting, boy."
His eye twitches. He laughs and shakes his head. "You clearly don't understand that this? us? it could be something big. We can take over everything, make it so that no one could try us."
She covers her mouth as a small snicker escapes her. "Us? There is no us," She leans forward, flattening her hands on her table as she glares at him. "You're nothing. You're trying to play around in business that I know you can't handle, get out."
She points to the door that was already being held open by one of her men. He looks at the door and back at her, scoffing at the situation. She just brushed him off like he was nothing, not even paying attention to his offer. Just, you.
"I won't ask again." Her voice now eerily calm as she leans back in her plush seat. He grumbles under his breath before finally exiting the room, not before giving you a withering glare.
You stare back, shifting back in the sofa. His stare doesn't leave yours until he exits the room, the door closing behind him.
Verena lets out a sigh and she looks back at you, a soft but happy expression taking over. "C'mere." She calls for you, you turn to look at her and she's beckoning you over.
"Was it a little boring?" She had moved you into her lap again, for some reason she likes it when she can be as close to you as possible. At the cost of your own personal comfort, of course. You shrugged wordlessly, it was kind of entertaining honestly.
"Well it was sooo boring for me, I'd rather play with my little sweetheart." She tickles you slightly, eliciting a laugh out of you. "C'mon, let's go play before my other meetings."
--
Bumps in the night in Verena's home wasn't odd. But hearing it in your room wasn't normal. Definitely not. You were wide awake, laying on your back staring at the ceiling trying to convince yourself that it was just a bird that hit your window and not someone breaking in.
A shadow of a person was casted in your room. Not a person. A bird, a really big fucking bird.
A click of a gun and you feel cool metal pressed to the side of your head, you stifled a scream as you felt someone lean down near your face. "Make a peep and your brains are decorating your silk sheets, get up."
Fear constricts your heart as you slowly got up, a gloved hand grabs your arm and tugs you out of bed almost making you fall down. You didn't have to look at his face to know it was the same man who Verena was arguing with before.
Finally after a few minutes of your captor struggling to navigate the house, you're dragged out to where his car was. He pushes you against the car and uses the handle of the gun against the back of your head, knocking you out.
You wake up to the man tightening the ropes that tie you down to a wooden chair, your head hurts. It hurts so much.
"Awake?" Your chin is grabbed roughly and your forced to look into the eyes of your captor. He grins, revealing a set of crooked teeth. "Don't worry, if Verena loves you so much that she can ignore me in a important fucking meeting to wink at you, she'll come save you."
He pushes your face back down and you groan slightly in pain at the sudden movement. You don't doubt that Verena is probably fuming right now.
"That bitch will learn to respect me, right?" He bites his thumb as he paces around the room, shit. He looks at you hunched over in pain, blood running down the back of your neck and dampening your pajamas coloring them a dark red.
Shit. He didn't think this through. only a few of his men were here, this was an impulse decision, kidnapping you. Verena wasn't one to be messed with, especially if you planned on taking one of her own. He clearly didn't know how much you meant to her because he would've done good for himself if he had taken anyone else.
Anyone else.
It's fine, he ran a hand through his greasy hair, it's fine. He takes his phone from his pocket and calls Verena again.
"Didn't think you'd have the balls to call me again after that shitshow, Mateo."
"I'd choose your words wisely, Verena." She laughs at this pathetic attempt at intimidation, clearly the phone was giving him some false sense of security. "Oh? Where did this new burst of confidence come from?"
He walks up to you with Verena still on the phone and grips your hair, tugging right where he had knocked you out. So, a particularly sore spot for you eliciting a pained whimper from your still drowsy self.
"Hear that?" He smirks to himself as he hears silence from the supposed terrifying mafia head. "I have your little pet with me, you want 'em back? 3 million, cash. Come alone, let's see how tough you really are without your men with you."
He tightens his grip on you and now you yelp out in pain, Verena makes a small noise of anger in response and Mateo laughs. "So you do have a weak spot, good to know."
"Can they hear me?" Her tone is stable, as if none of this is affecting her. Verena grips the papers on her table as she tries to control her boiling rage.
"Mama...?" Her heart tightens as you call out to her in such a small and scared voice. Her baby was hurt under her care, she failed you. "It's alright, sweetheart I'm coming, okay? I'm getting you out of there."
"Please..." You beg softly. Words were becoming harder for you to use, all you could think of was the throbbing pain at the back of your head. "Alright enough of that, I'm giving you an hour or they die. See you soon, Angel of death."
Verena holds her composure until Mateo ends the call. With shaking hands, she throws the phone to the other side of the room watching in anger as it shatters on impact. You were in pain, so much so that you finally called her what she had been begging you to call her. Mama.
"Get me their location."
"Immediately, ma'am." Her right-hand man bows slightly before exiting the room. His fate was sealed the moment he even thought of taking you away from her, he was a dead man walking.
--
"What?- Wait, stop fucking yelling. What do you mean they're dead? It's one woman, are you- shit. Shit, shit!"
The line goes dead. Another one of his men are dead at the hands of one woman. But he should've known, trying to mess with death herself would have never ended well for him. Now he was stuck alone with the one person that she had murdered so many men for.
You.
He looked at you and makes the smart decision to further use you as his shield against her rage. He walks behind you and holds the gun to your head. "Don't move." He hisses to you, as if you could move with the pounding headache. The blood loss was getting worse.
Mateo flinches as the door is kicked in, an enraged Verena fills the doorway. She had been dragging one of his men by the neck, he was still alive, still groaning in pain.
Oh, he fucked up. This was more than he could handle, he watches in fear as she throws the man down, letting him writhe in pain in the doorway. The blood that covered her made Verena looked more like an animal than human.
"D-Don't come any closer or they get a fucking bullet in their head!" He shoves the gun into the side of your head to make his point. She stops midway, staring at the man.
"...Do you want to do that? Mateo? Threatening my kid, my kid? What do you think will happen if you kill them. I let you go alive? I accept you by my side?" She laughs making the man jump. "Try anything and I'll torture you until you beg for death. Make you regret even looking at my kid in the first place."
It was a promise and everyone in the room knew it.
Mateo finally drops the gun, he raises his hands in surrender as he backs away from you. Darting out of the room almost tripping on the dead body of the man as he leaves. Verena immediately drops in front of you, cupping her hands around your face.
It was worse than she thought. There was so much blood all over you that all she could do was hold you as she cried. You were hurt. Her precious kid was hurt.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry baby," She weeps, holding you in her arms. "It's all my fault, I should've never let you out of my sight."
"It's okay," You mumble tiredly, enjoying a gentle and warm hold after hours of sitting in a cold dark basement. "You're here now, right?"
She nods, sniffling. "I'm here, mama's here now."
--
so long holy shit but HOPE YOU LIKE THIS!!
#asks nom nom#yandere oc#parental yandere#platonic yandere#familial yandere#yandere platonic#forced agere#forced age regression#tw yandere#Verena oc#yandere mafia#platonic yandere mafia
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ohohoho… no writing blog can go without that one classic hc…
ahem–
the boys being…
JEALOUS!
please? :3
(idk if u already did it, pls say u don’t so i don’t get embarrassed by asking again lmfao)
Coming right up my dude, gender neutral reader per usual
Tw for some possessive and yandere-ish type behavior with Nightmare, Killer and to a lesser extent Dust & Axe
The boys are Jealous
Classic Sans:
Imma be real, this rarely happens
He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't trust you, and generally, he's such a chill guy that it's hard for anything to really rattle him (pun very much intended)
He's protective, yeah, but that's pretty subtle, and it's more fear of you getting hurt than you leaving or hooking up with someone else
Not to say it doesn't ever happen
Surprisingly, one way to get him jealous is to laugh at others' jokes. Like really laugh, especially if you laugh harder at them than you normally do at his puns
Hm, he suddenly does not care for you getting all buddy buddy with that person
He'll calmly place himself in the conversation, he doesn't seem to act any different but the vibes are off
Classic: "Hi yes, I'm Y/N's partner. Romantic partner. We're together. Hey, wanna tell 'em about that prank I pulled yesterday?" All said while putting an arm around your shoulder
He is trying so hard to be normal about it but it's clear something is bothering him, it's kind of cute
And yeah the person in question is getting his with the typical passive aggressiveness you'd expect from Sans lmao
By the time you two leave you'll cheekily ask if he's jealous and he'll deny it
Y/N: "That's a shame, he was really funny-"
Classic: "Watch it."
You two will go and have a few laughs over the situation, he also is gonna get you busting a gut laughing in one way or another
Underswap Sans:
The Magnificent Sans is never jealous!
According to him
See Blue has two sides to him, one that's extremely prideful and one that's extremely insecure
He's constantly flip flopping in-between "You'll never find someone as cool as me so you won't bother!" And big ole puppy dog eyes of "Why aren't you paying attention to meeeee" 🥺🥺🥺
The latter largely just comes out as him just being kinda whiney and bothering you, largely behind closed doors as he just kinda glomps onto you and pouts
The former? Well
Someone attempts to hit on you then he just swoops in, picks you up (regardless of how tall you are) then announces
"WHY HELLO YOU SEEM TO BE CONFUSED! THIS LOVELY HUMAN IS WITH ME! THE MAGNIFICENT SANS! MWEH HEH HEH!"
It causes a scene and is just as embarrassing as it looks
"I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR TRYING, LOOK AT HOW COOL MY PARTNER IS! LOOOOOOK!"
And he doesn't even put you down he just walks off with you
Deems it as "coming to your rescue" lmao
Don't give him too hard a time about it though, he means well
And you think he's just as magnificent as he says right? 👉👈
Underfell Sans:
This boy actually is EXTREMELY jealous
And if there's one benefit to having him as a boyfriend it's that his constant snarling and general vibes are good at keeping others away
Which is good, because you're HIS
There's a reason why even in most public places he'll happily let you sit on his lap or keep an arm tight around you, not only because he's a sucker for affection deep down but also so it makes others steer clear
Bro doesn't like when people simply look at you like they're getting ideas, so trust me when I say anyone that actively tries is verbally getting their head bit off
Might actually kick their ass too just for the hell of it, but usually is doesn't escalate that far
.....usually
Listen he's never been above kicking someone's ass just to prove a point alright?
And yes he has no problem reminding you just who you belong to either
He loves to cover you in hickeys and the marks definitely push the point in, even if you try to hide him. And him getting jealous is just an excuse to add more
Tells you just how good you're being while he proceeds to absolutely ruin you ❤️
Underlust Sans:
Man is a sex worker lmao, so you two aren't strictly 100% monogamous to begin with and it'd be pretty hypocritical for him to be jealous 9/10
If you have to deal with others gawking at him while on stage and behind closed doors, he can tolerate you getting some attention
And he doesn't blame others one bit, you are utterly delicious, he would know
Not to say it doesn't ever happen though, but his jealousy is usually pretty tame and subtle
Normally it's just being bigger on PDA than usual and calmly inserting himself into the situation
Especially makes the habit of deciding to show others just how well he can fluster you up, think whole
"That's a good chat up line, I'll give you that, but try something like this~" before he starts cooing in your ear and turning into a bright red tomato
If you left him might even go as far as to have a gross little public make out session with some heavy petting to push the point in
Others can look sure, they might even be a bit successful in wooing you, but he'll make it clear to everyone that he's the best you'll ever have in that regard
Also does seem like the type to just interrupt mid conversation to leave a painfully obvious lipstick mark on your cheek
And he will indeed be cheeky about (da dum tss)
Horrortale Sans:
Axe is a bit of a wild card I'll be real with you
He's very protective....but is he naturally jealous?
Yesn't
He knows he's an intimidating ass guy with a terrifying reputation, which while he's not yelling about your relationship from the rooftops it's pretty clear you two are a thing. So the number of people who'd be dumb enough to try and snag you? Pretty low
So he's surprisingly chill when you spend time with others, to an extent at least. Does this mean he likes it on the rare occasion when others just hit on you especially when he's like...right there? Hell no
The person in question is instantly grabbed by their shirt and hoisted up into the air, getting a very gruff "you must be confused 'bout something here" as he proceeds to scare the living shit out of the dumbass
You might be able to talk him out of outright killing the guy but even if he doesn't kill him, Axe will break their fucking legs to say the least
Jealousy is not a pretty sight when it comes to him and he's kinda clingy the rest of the day
Growls at anyone else that gets close, you know how to calm him down at this point and assure him that you're always going to be his
However, similar to Red, he's not afraid to give some love bites as a reminder
Fresh Sans:
Oh boy, he's about to be ANNOYING
Emotions are a bit of a mine field for him and I don't he even recognizes it as jealousy. Nor is he easily jealous by any means, but that doesn't mean he likes it when others steal your attention
Randomly just poofs in mid conversation, blows an airhorn and inserts himself like "Wazzzup homies!?"
Woe to the other person in question, who knows if their poor wittle ear drums will ever recover
You know how some cats get extremely loud and clingy when their owners pet other cats? Same energy here
I would say he wouldn't go as far as to sit on you while you're doing something important or knocking things over but uh
Don't put it past him!
And don't try to ignore him it will only make him worse, just give him some proper attention and he'll be happy
Tbh depending on the situation might do what Blue does and just pick you up before breezing away on his skate board
His now/j
But honestly he's rarely if ever an angry jealous type just annoying, but he's not opposed to BONKING someone if need be
Killer Sans:
So anyway he started stabbing-
Okay maybe not that extreme right off the bat, but rest assured bro has NO PROBLEM killing someone who's flirting with or hitting on you
Even if they weren't being serious
He's a bit unhinged and a little shit, so unlike with Axe I would not place any bets on you being able to talk him out of it. If anything that might encourage him cuz why do you want them alive so much???
Honestly Killer has the energy of a person who insists that he's not jealous but actually really is despite how much he tries to play it off otherwise
Y/N: "You are the most jealous man I know!"
Killer: "You know other men?!"
Honestly the mentality also applies when you're around others even if they aren't flirting with you. Probably won't stab them but he's there, around, watching, making sure no one gets too close :)
Whatever you do not intentionally egg on this side of him
Man is fully willing to crave his name into your skin if it means you know who you belong to
Dust Sans:
Hoo boy
Also in the camp of "will murder anyone that actively tries to take you away" but can be talked down with the right words
But honestly him getting jealous is more sad than anything else, because he knows damn well he's a mess and he is already partly convinced you will just leave the moment you find someone else
Even after the person in question leaves, he is clinging onto with a vice grip one that almost hurts as he's repeatedly asking
"You are mine right? No, you are. You are! You will be! I'll do anything! Just....don't look at anyone else like that, please don't- I can't- MINE!-"
He is not mentally stable and his hallucinations in his case do NOT help in situations like this
He can get violent with you while like this, he'll always regret it after and you know how to avoid it from escalating like that but the risk is always there
He'll need some hugs and a lot of reassurance, you've probably all but mastered dealing with these type of episodes by now
Attached to you like glue for a bit, death glaring at anyone that comes too close and is silently just defensive for awhile
Things will go back to normal eventually, but lets hope no one pulls the stunt of hitting on you while your boyfriend is RIGHT there for awhile
Nightmare Sans:
Doesn't get jealous unless you give him a reason to
Nightmare is not the healthiest partner to have, he's already extremely possessive and controlling. He keeps a close eye on you, so encounters that trigger his jealous side don't happen often purely because he does not allow it
Sometimes you're lucky if you can leave the palace without a bodyguard, that's not mentioning how he forbids you from wearing anything too provocative strictly because your body is for his eyes only
And anyone that tries is getting killed, whether you're made aware of it or not
If you try to bring up any issue with it he'll pull some manipulative sight, ranging from straight up gas lighting to down play the severity of it or somehow convincing your that it was simply for the best
After all what if that person didn't have your best interest at heart?
He'll remind you just who you belong to in the end, he won't mark you necessarily, he's not a brute after all but you'll be begging for mercy by the end of it
The right words, the right touches, and soon you'll be happily saying just who you belong to then he'll be as happy as a peach
#💀 the boys (group post)#sans x reader#underfell sans x reader#underswap sans x reader#horrorfell sans x reader#fresh sans x reader#underlust sans x reader#killer sans x reader#dust sans x reader#nightmare x reader#asks#requests
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Logically I know I meet my own definition of cool, but my brain is still like, those are the Real Goths Emos and Punks, the fact that you're wearing a similar outfit that they just complimented you on and that they're wearing a shirt of your favorite band doesn't matter because you don't know how to do makeup occasionally wear sweatpants and you're not an ex-Catholic. Poser. How many cool people have to be friendly to me and treat me as a member of the in-group before I accept that I am, in fact, cool.
#again this being my personal definition of cool#which is to say members of fashion subcultures of various types + people who listen to the same music as me#like to be clear cool to me is definitely loser emo faggot to someone else#but i feel as though ive achieved only emo faggotdom and not edgy gothdom#(goth dom ⁉️) sorry.
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Haha
#yanqing#honkai star rail#hsr yanqing#my immediate fixation on ice wielding child genius characters in every media I consume strikes again#idk I just think he’s neat!! and so is his gender#he’s definitely overdesigned but I do enjoy the general shape of his clothes#like wow… baggy outer layer AND baggy inner layer#how come you get to have two baggy layers#still don’t know that much about him even after reading his character stories on the wiki#so I’m hoping that his quest writes him well#I suppose there’s some degree of like interesting contrast in the fact that he’s very young on a ship full of people who live very long live#but I feel like regardless they really don’t give him much of a personality besides his hyperfixation on swords and the general naivety and#inexperience from youth yknow what I mean#I just think it would be cool to see like why he’s so ambitious! was he railroaded into being a knight because of his talents? did he try#to be accepted as a knight? what kinds of expectations is he facing and what expectations does he place on himself as a result#I really hope he isn’t just there to be a simpler minded child character for jingyuan to take care of
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sometimes i remember that gojo wanted to tell geto “we’ll meet again, right?” just before he died but forced himself not to knowing it would have cursed him and then i start thinking about how kind and thoughtful gojo is as a character and how he hasn’t been able to lean on another human being since geto defected and then i want to . Scream
#like. there’s something almost helpless about that question. because gojo doesn’t *know* the answer…. he’s asking for reassurance#he wants to know if they’ll ever meet again even though deep down he knows the answer#and it’s so… bare? so vulnerable.#if he had voiced it that would’ve been the first time in TEN YEARS that gojo truly bared his heart to someone and asked for help#but he knew it would turn into a curse and so he gulped the words back down. :((#gojo is such a sincerely kind and thoughtful character and it breaks my heart that sooo many people in the fandom can’t see that 😭#he isn’t a saint and he definitely isn’t selfless but above all else his goal as a human being is to make sure no one ever feels alone.#that no one has their youth taken away from them….. that everyone gets a Choice in how to live their life :(((( it’s so important to him.#i just genuinely don’t understand ppl who insist that he’s morally gray ….. gojo is a consistently Good person and that never changes#he wants to have fun and laugh and he wants his students to enjoy their youth. he wants them to think he’s cool.#he’s the big brother slash father Ever and i love him to death#i got sidetracked this was supposed to be abt geto 😔😔 anyway the final scene between them will always be my Favorite ever#and the key to understanding both their characters and love for one another#ty for coming to my ted talk i’m feeling normal abt them today 😇😇#ari noises ✩
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robot,,, bf,,, my beloved,,,
#im sooooooooo normal about him really#i definitely have not been yapping about him 24/7 for the last. 4 days#every time he shows up: omg Blitzy haiiiiii <333#i have to watermark it but i do have cute art of him with my s/i who i also made very quickly#getting me into this was a bad idea i love everything about the franchise so far#cool ass robots being goofy as shit? i must make this my personality this is For Me#anyway. yeah hi new f/o. again. why is this happening to me. again.#ficto tag#proship selfship#it's a rat room blitz!#ship tag based on the first song i wanted to put on the playlist#it was a silly thought but it's stuck#maybe ill think of something better but i do like it in the meantime#ratkingrambles#i don't care that the fandom is pissed about his bumblebee appearance i was in love with that mask the minute i saw him#and then i got his tfa intro and i was cooked#look at him. he's checking all my usual f/o boxes. damn it.
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gonna do the stupid thing for my stupid mental health
#is is the right thing? who knows#but camping made me realize that being away from some of this stuff made me feel a whole lot better#camping is great at bringing back some perspective#does this make me kinda a dick? maybe#but also this responsibility shouldn’t fall solely on me#i’m gonna focus on my friends who make me feel good#and school that makes me feel productive and excited#and everything else can make the effort if it needs my time and energy and emotional investment that badly#god camping was so wet but so good#MANY cool plants and mushrooms#i got to be in the forest info dumping to a captive audience#surrounded by my friends and without the outside world being able to contact me#legit definition of my happy place#lots of cool people to spend my time with#good games and campfire vibes and goofing off with glow sticks#didn’t get as many photos or snuggles as past camping trips but that was bc it was wet#let opportune moments for photo-ops and cuddling while damp is just unpleasant#so no hammock naps but that just gets bumped over to the bucket-list for next year again#and i only had ONE mild bad brain moment#and ONE (separate) bad body moment (and that one was my fault i had two hits of some really strong weed)#(and had a very very bad time for the rest of that night but NOT as bad as last year)#(I swear to god I learned my lesson this year)#so yeah. gonna make a camping bucket list for next year and look at it when i need reminders that there are good things ahead.#personal#(Em and Kat if u see this i love u both so much thank you for including me in your tradition these past several years)#(it means the world to me and i love getting to spend the time with you all!)
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okay but. success! all of my grandparents now know i'm trans and my preferred name!! they all took it well, if occasionally confused!! only six people left to go then i'm out to all of my family and can finally rest!!
#a biscuit's rambles#but also it went SO well#like especially my grandpa#i did NOT expect that#but theyre all chill and occasionally confused but definitely Trying#and basically everyone who knows is mostly using the correct name and stuff#so thats sosososo cool#just a few aunts uncles and cousins to go#tho tbh i might just leave the uncles to my aunts. bc theyll be the most complicated and honestly. were not that close#like. do i have to do that myself? or could i just wait for my aunts to do that#or until they ask why everyone calls me my chosen name#idk yet. at least one cousin already knows and just uses the correct name#instead of pulling the whole 'oh no not until biscuit tells me themself' after being told im literally not closeted#like i Get It if that person isnt properly out or anything but PLEASE coming outs are HARD and STRESSFUL#can you at least approach me yourseslf PLEASE like 'hey i heard u go by this name now' PLEASE IM OPEN AND OUT#this could be so much easier for both of usssss#so once again shout out to my cousin who heard im enby use that name and also im open abt it/not closeted and just rolled with that#altho do also shout out to my grandma bc while that was a bit complicated and Weird (tho i knew she supports trans folk for a while)#bc she somtimes calls me puck now and thats just the most accurate thing ever#anyway peace and love on planet earth even old and kinda conservative and easily confused people can accept you for who you are#in the end were still family and most real life people dont care about anyones genitals anyway#i mean. i am very lucky with my family and friends and other social contact through school and stuff#but still. it doesnt have to be that bad#and then internet just fucking loves amplifying a tiny but hateful minority#theyre dangerous and awful but still a vast minority
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oh my god i've had such a shitty weekend that in order to cheer me up, my dad fixed my computer and now i've been distracting myself with baldurs gate 3 to feel better
BUT NOW THAT I ACTUALLY CHECK SOCIAL MEDIA YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFMD S2 TEASER IS DROPPING TOMORROW?????????? HUH???????????? WHAT NOW?????????????? OH MY GOD???????????????????
#personal shit mixed with the usual metnal ilnes had me cooped up distracting myself with baldurs gate#cant believe i almost missed being able to witness ofmd teaser happening IN THE MOMENT#fuck that will definitely breathe some life into me holy shit#im SO fucking ready#like a part of me hopes it doesn't spoil too much but i also want like. a Substantial amount of footage of season 2 shdjshsh#and also now that my computer is fixed and im FINALLY moving into my apartment tomorrow i can make gifs lol#definitely gotta cool it on the baldurs gate or yall will never hear from me again that game is ADDICTING#anyways it's late im gonna sleep i just checked twitter real quick before going to bed and noticed the teaser announcement lol#emily.txt
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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I've wanted to write a dissertation on the localization differences in Sawashiro's Chapter 13 scenes FOREVER you have NO idea, thank you so much for pointing that out.
I did experience the full game back when it was only out in Japanese so I've certainly got Thoughts on both in comparison to the original as well. Although it's not exactly what you were talking about, I do personally think the playfulness is 100% purposeful and the more accurate take in this case! Not just in a literal sense, but in terms of authorial intent.
Chapters 1, 2, and 13 specifically are full of homages to and subversions of his character as seen in RGGO. Playfulness, unpredictability, and an off-putting sense of humor are central to RGGO!Sawashiro. He also happens to be particularly fond of fake-outs like that. Obviously a lot has changed between games, but there's a lot of fascinating interplay as well, even with 7!Sawashiro's much more subdued presentation. Yokoyama has said he was going for a story that doesn't require RGGO's context to understand or enjoy, but a story that's nonetheless made more interesting by taking RGGO's context into account. The effects of that approach are of course going to be apparent in RGGO's main antagonist.
So I don't think it's far-fetched at all to say there's a sense of humor there we just don't get to see much of, being Ichi and being in the situations we're in when we encounter him. I think that kind of works for him as a character whose idiosyncrasies are conveyed equally by what we see and what we don't see.
... I guess I kind of ended up writing a dissertation anyway lol sorry
this is like getting a letter from the president thank you so much for your dissertation and your work in general im actually framing this on my brain walls
#fave#snap chats#ON THE REAL THOUGH LET ME. TALK NORMALLY FOR A SECOND#i DID actually want to make a note bout sawashiro's dialogue during chapter 1 too in my initial post#but i didnt think it was anything super noteworthy- tho now im glad my thinking's been validated in a way#weeks back when i actually did take the time to read through the old RGGO chapters and familiarize myself with RGGO jo#RGGJO if you will AHA--#but on the real when you mention it i DO remember his personality feeling#saying 'relaxed' feels hyperbolic/inaccurate but he definitely did not feel /as/ uptight as Y7jo comes off as#maybe cause his portrait art has him smiling for once ☠️#but its due in part because we got to see RGGO jo more For Obvious Reasons and we got to see him interact with others more#that he got to feel a LIL more personable. not OVERLY friendly but yk. Just Enough to notice in comparison#in the way that i like comparing eng and jp texts it IS really fun looking between RGGO and Y7 jo#obviously they would borrow aspects from RGGO to put into Y7 but it is real neat being able to point them out/see them#i wish i could use my words better to express how much of a fan i am of reading this but just know i am#just very cool and interesting insight all around thank you again for writing in
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I am an egg
What is the egg for
I mean I agree that on the spectrum of gender I am plausibly definitely an egg that just feels about right. I'm just there man. Sitting around until needed. In my zone, in my lane, just serving my purpose like an egg.
But I'm still curious about the egg title I've been bestowed
generally in trans circles an "egg" refers to a trans person who hasn't realized they're trans yet, so then realizing is "the egg cracking"
functionally in the quiz it's kind of a "your answers mostly pointed towards cisish but not always" / middle of the road placeholder. honestly the results part is kind of the main bit im not entirely happy with because i have no idea how to actually weight answers properly lol
#it's definitely not a perfect option but i couldnt think of another way to put it ksbfksnfks#im ok with it not being totally perfect though like. thats why i put a thing in there being like 'remember that wt the end of the#day an internet quiz cannot actually tell you the answer so focus on how these questions make you feel'#like no matter what these will always be questions and answers that /i/ wrote and i dont know the quiz takers at all so i wanted to avoid#giving like. hard yesses or nos#someone who gets egg zone might be an egg yes but they might also just be a cis person who has body image issues#for an unrelated reason or a trans person with low/no dysphoria (shoutout to my roommate) so its never gonna be perfect#anyways. this was a much longer ramble than i meant to go into KWBFOSBFKEBF hope i explained well#with that though if u were looking for further assistance figuring it out#taking an 'am i trans' quiz‚ getting 'possible egg'‚ and going 'ooo im an egg? gender is egg? not girl or boy just egg? cool'#to me does point at least a little to non-cisdom lol#but that again is just my perspective based on one thing and you will always know better than me so take that w a grain of salt LOL#gibberasks#uquibberish
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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There's something truly special about seeing someone get really, really into a character you only casually enjoy from a series you only casually enjoy. Like, yes, queen, I want to see that fanart you're reblogging! I want to see that deep analysis! I might not be riding the same high you are with your blorbo, but I'm getting some sweet, sweet secondhand joy out of this, please keep going!
#there's definitely an element of 'omg i have been there with A Character' and it's nice to see someone else do that too#especially when i was so embarassed over my enthusiasm. it makes me happy to see a cool person just enjoy it#i also haven't had a character or series get a chokehold on me in a while. maybe i'm just losing interest in that sort of thing#i still enjoy my past blorbos. still get a lot from playing dolls with them or watching someone else write/draw something amazing with them#but it's not the same as being in the middle of it. and maybe i'm not gonna get that again. but hey! people change#(not about anyone here btw)
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hey I don’t like being a smart gifted kid anymore. can I please be normal I’d much prefer that
#vents#I felt a lot more strongly about this like an hour ago but I sat around and watched hockey and played sudoku with my dad for a bit now I’m#Better 👍 still need to write this down though#anyways. I do not want to go to special classes. it’s not like I’m not being challenged by my regular ones?? Like they see my grades#it’s not like I’m acing every test.#This would also mean choosing classes to go towards university. that means choosing what I want to do when I’m older now#Which I don’t want to do#I want to be normal like my friends please#I want to be able to live my teenage years and not have to worry about all this#cause this would mean meticulously planning everything around a future career#and if I end up not liking it I would definitely feel too guilty about wasting years of my life and my parents money that got me there#I would go through with that career I hate because 1. I would not let myself change 2. My parents would not let me change#I just wish I could live my life as a fucking kid please#I don’t want to go my whole life never having a sleepover cause I went straight from being super sheltered to too academically focused#Shit I’m crying now#I’m also super indecisive and I DONT KNOW what I want to do. Law seems cool but that’s mostly because of my ace attorney obsession#I would also never personally want to be a real life lawyer. Too much pressure and also paperwork#Why can’t I just be a teenage weirdgirl assistant best friend forever. I’d love that as a career#anyways to brainstorm stuff. Something science could be one but really the only field that fascinates me is space and idk what I’d do there#I’m never being a doctor I don’t care how hard my parents push I’m not doing it ever#anyways I do genuinely think my parents think this is what’s best for me. And they could be right#But right now I hate it I hate it so much#I’ve never even implied I WANT to do this. At least my friend is doing this of her own accord. for me this is all my parents#Augh I wish I could be a normal teenager!! Please!!#I literally went to watch a movie alone with my friend for the first time last week and that’s only cause we didnt tell my mom we were alon#(She wasn’t really mad which I’m super thankful for)#Augh#I guess I am no longer ok#Time to push this to the depths of my mind and not think about it ever again (impossible I will think about it like every day because the#The thought is unavoidable)
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