#again i love my friend but i really disagree with his logic here
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littlematchagirlll · 4 months ago
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one of my friends (also a leftist) said that because we live in utah, it doesn't matter who he votes for, and there's no way he will vote for a "fucking cop who was complicit in genocide."
he is telling his friends in utah that they have zero say in who is president, so they shouldn't vote for harris.
and, i love him, but i think that line of thinking is really damaging.
if the stakes were lower for this election, then sure! i'm all in favor of third parties, and i do think that should be more normalized. it would be great to get to a point where we have more viable options than just democrats and republicans.
but this election is against trump. if trump wins, we get project 2025.
this isn't your father's republican party that just wanted to lower taxes and have more free trade. we are looking at rights being taken away for several marginalized communities. major changes that will set us back decades. there is too much on the line, and harris needs every single vote she can get.
saying you won't vote for harris because you live in a red state and don't think your vote will count... like a vote for a third party will??
you're really just saying that you don't mind trump winning, or if you do, you aren't willing to actually do what it takes to stop it.
as for being complicit with the genocide, aren't we all? our tax money is going to the genocide. we are complicit, whether we like it or not.
and harris has openly advocated for a ceasefire! also, do you think trump won't be complicit in the genocide? do you not think he would actively support israel? i'd rather have a president that calls for a ceasefire than one who doesn't. i'd rather have a president who is willing to push back on israel than one who be pushed around by israel.
there's more hope for a ceasefire with harris than there is with trump, and that's worth something.
my friend said "when people look back at your history, don't let them see your name next to a war criminal's."
honestly? in this election, i would rather have my name seen next to harris because that shows i understood that the future of our country and the safety of its citizens was more important than my personal moral superiority.
i don't just vote to make a fucking point. i vote because it impacts people's lives.
it seriously feels like some people are okay with watching the country burn, as long as they feel morally superior.
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lavendertales · 1 year ago
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SEÑORITA: Chapter 7**
pairing: Javier Peña x Murphy!f!reader
summary: following your fallout with Steve, you find yourself on Javier's doorstep.
word count: 6.4k (oops)
series warnings: reluctant friends to lovers, lots of playful banter, mutual pining, slow burn, secret relationship, filthy smut.
chapter warnings: face sitting, body worship, piv (safe).
A/N: here we are ya'll, the long awaited explosion of the slow burn hehehe. thank you so much for all the comments and the love, it means so much to me 💕I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well, and feedback is always much appreciated!
AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!
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series masterlist | AO3
You would’ve preferred to sit down inside your apartment in order to have this conversation rather than wander aimlessly on the hot streets of New York at almost midnight with your brother, but the surroundings are less important than the issue at hand.
Steve offered to buy frozen yogurt for the two of you, and fight as you might, you were persuaded to eat a little bowl of strawberry cold goodness. The two of you sat down at this little place on the corner, both clearly too uptight to initiate the conversation. So you clear your throat, exhaling slowly and steadily, and braced yourself.
“Steven—“
“I’m sorry.”
He blurts out the words as he stares at you, his eyes big and regretful.
“I’m so sorry for not supporting you more,” he continues, putting down the spoon. “And for not taking more of an interest in your hobby. It clearly means so much to you and I… I know I was a dickhead.”
“If you’re waiting for me to disagree it’s not going to happen.”
Steve chuckles, huffing.
“It’s more than a hobby, Steve,” you tell him. “In an ideal world where money wouldn’t be a thing, this would be my dream job. I’d do nothing else but write, travel and eat food all over the world. It’s why I took a job at the library. It’s the closest I’ll ever be to achieving that dream.”
“That makes me sad.”
“Made me sad too. But this is reality, and denying it won’t do me any favors.”
“You were always so much more mature and rational than me.”
Surprised, you make a face at him, unable to contain yourself. You’ve never heard such words from your brother.
“Me?” you say with a light chuckle escaping from your lips. “The eternal dreamer?”
“Yeah. Sure, you like to picture fictional worlds and get lost in them but you never lose sense of reality. You’re neither optimistic nor pessimistic. You just… live in the now.”
“You know… I’m actually really close to getting my own book published.”
Steve’s eyes widen further, his face revealing nothing but sheer excitement at this point, and the sight softens you; so much so that you smile involuntarily, rather flustered to finally share this news with him.
“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you!” he nearly shouts.
“Thanks, thanks. You’re the third person I tell this to.”
“Third?”
“Javier and Sylvie know.”
“Oh. I see. Is it based on Star Wars? Or inspired by it?”
You frown. “No, you doofus, it’s my own story. If I were to publish a fanfiction for Star Wars, I’d definitely get sued by George Lucas.”
“Kind of defeats the point of writing it, doesn’t it?”
As happy as you felt a minute ago, you feel just as dumbfounded now.
“The point, again, is creativity,” you reply. “You start from there and you build towards your own independent stories.”
“Isn’t it a waste of time? I mean why not start right at—“
“Oh my God! You’ve been this way since we were kids. You always thought you’re superior, whether you realized it or not.”
“I didn’t. And I didn’t mean to insult—“
“You never mean to and yet you still do.”
Steve watches you stand up, hands on your hips and munching on your lower lip in what can only be described as anger finally bubbling up at the surface.
“Mom and dad always sung your praises because you chose to do things logically and fit into society while I was a bitter disappointment for spending time alone in my room, reading and writing,” you say. “You finished high school and went straight to the Academy and mom and dad couldn’t have been prouder. Me? I finished high school and went to study literature in college and it still wasn’t good enough.”
“Nobody ever said that, you know it’s not true.”
“They didn’t have to say it. I could see it in their eyes, the way they spoke. I was the weirdo who needed a social life while you were their beloved Steven, making his way into the real world at such a young age, being so brave. Mom and dad never stopped thinking there’s something wrong with me and they didn’t hesitate in telling me that with every chance they got. Passive aggressively but still.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I know. I know that now. It took years of therapy to realize that.”
Steve watches you closely, filled with unrelenting guilt. He’s never seen you this decisive and mad, but he knows deep down he’s had it coming. All of the things he wished for your relationship are slowly going down the drain and he begins to fear that if he doesn’t say the right thing now and try his hardest to be here for you, he will lose you forever.
“I never meant to treat you any way other than with respect,” he says, his voice oddly hoarse. “I know I’m pushing things a lot of the time and I exaggerate and I have no right to intervene in your personal life, but it only comes from a place of needing to protect you.”
“I can protect myself, Steven.”
He huffs, grabbing your wrist and thus urging you to sit back down. “Do you remember in seventh grade when that group of idiots picked on you while you were reading on the playground? It rained heavily the day before and they snatched the book from your hands and threw it into a puddle, ruining it.”
“Yeah, I—I remember.”
“And then you told me that one of them, the bigger one, came onto you that same afternoon and forcefully kissed you. I had him suspended.”
“What—how?”
“I may have… broke his nose and threatened him to worse if he didn’t go to the principal’s office to confess to both forcing himself onto you and to bullying you.”
“Oh my—you never told me that.”
Steve shrugs. “Pretty sure that was the moment I started to be mindful of the guys that were around you. And when you got annoyed and purposely started dating the worst guys you could find, things have gotten wild.”
“You can say that again.”
You both chuckle.
“You know, the fact that you confided in Javi about your book before me or Connie is a bit hurtful,” Steve admits.
“Do you know why I told Javier first? Even before Sylvie? Because he asked me. It’s that simple. He took an interest in my passion and he actually cared about it. Hell, he turned my Star Wars story into a real book. He made it into a book just for me because he knows how much it means to me, and how much writing means to me.”
“He what?”
You nod. “Yeah. He didn’t mock me, he didn’t assume he knows better than me. He even encouraged me to keep going, which is how I’m close to finishing the editing part of my book faster than I anticipated. And this from a guy who was a complete stranger to me three months ago. You keep saying that Javier is your best friend but you don’t seem to treat him that way. You treat him like he’s bad news, like you didn’t go through all that shit together in Colombia. You need to get your shit together. Javier is a really good man. A good friend, and an overall good person.”
“I know he is, I’m just worried about him too like I’m worried about you. He hasn’t been the same since we came back from Colombia. It changed him in ways that I… I don’t know. I have Connie and Olivia and I feel so lucky but… he keeps to himself. He barely allows anyone in so I don’t know what it’s like inside his head. I was just so worried that you’d both rush into something you might not be ready for and end up hurting each other.”
You don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath for quite some time, but you certainly hadn’t felt the need to breathe, not in this moment when years of anger and misunderstandings culminate in the most honest sentences either of you have ever spoken to each other.
“Even if we did rush into a relationship or casual dating or whatever, it still wouldn’t be your call to make,” you remind him. “It’s not your decision, it’s mine and his. We’re both adults, tip-toeing around each other and around you because you have this weird protection fetish.”
“It’s not—“
“You know what I meant.”
“I—I’m really sorry, sis. I just wanted us to be closer. I went the wrong way about it, I know that.”
“You did. Trying to intimidate your best friend and controlling whoever your baby sister is around is not the way to go about this. You pulled the same shit in high school and look how that turned out.”
“I was worried about you, about both of you.”
“And you had reasons to, I’ll give you that. But now there is none. I’m okay. And Javier can talk if he feels like it.”
“You don’t know him the way I do.”
“Maybe not. But you don’t know him like I do, either.”
Steve calls out your name once you get ready to leave.
“Whom I date is none of your business,” you retort. “Not even if that someone was your best friend. Which is not. So cut it out already and get your shit together. If you can’t accept this, then leave me the hell alone.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate it. And I appreciate what you did for me that time in the seventh grade. I really do. But I need some time before I can truly forgive you.”
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Javier hadn’t expected the erratic knock on the door at this hour, and he certainly hadn’t expected to be met with the sight in his doorway.
You look just as lovely as ever, though you do seem to be a little tense. He doesn’t ask; instead, he looks you over and welcomes you inside, waiting for you to offer some explanation for your late visit, already perilous enough as it is.
“I know it’s late, I’m sorry,” you coo. “I just—this was the first place I thought of. Didn’t wanna be alone in my apartment.”
“It’s okay. What happened?”
“Why do you assume something happened? Can’t a friend pay a visit to another friend?”
“They can, but not with that expression on their face.”
“What expression?”
“You look like you’ve been run over.”
You frown, distancing yourself from him even further.
“I’m your friend, I should be able to tell you this without a problem,” Javier adds.
“No, you sure can. Thank you for the fine observation.”
“Glad I could be of service. Do you want a drink?”
Say no, your mind screams at you, almost begs. You shouldn’t be drinking, not when you’re feeling vulnerable after the raw conversation you’ve had at long last with your brother, and certainly not around Javier.
It’s not that you don’t trust yourself. You know what you can and can’t handle.
You’re simply afraid the liquor might provide you with the courage to finally tell him exactly what’s on your mind, and that you might end up being rejected. Something tells you Javier might choose loyalty and rationality over his feelings.
He keeps to himself, Steve told you.
“Little bit of whiskey would be nice if you have it,” you eventually reply, catching both Javier and yourself off guard.
“Didn’t know you drink whiskey.”
“I don’t. Not really. Only when I need something really strong.”
“I take it the conversation with Steve didn’t go that well then.”
Fucking hell, how does he do this? How does he intuit things about you without you even saying or hinting them?
“It did. I think,” you smile as a glass of amber liquid is being handed to you. “We talked things through, I told him my piece… he apologized. And he meant it, I could tell.”
“He’s an honest guy, and he means well.”
“I know he does. He only ever wanted to be there for his baby sister and to be a good friend, but he’s taken things too far. Which he’s acknowledged.”
“Color me intrigued and shocked.”
You smile, hiding the gesture in the glass and stealing a glance at Javier. An unfamiliar warmth surrounds you, wraps you in a blanket of confusion and longing that you’re certain you haven’t felt up until now.
“So how come you ended up here then?”
“I don’t know. I just… stormed off, told him I appreciate his apology but I need some time before I can fully forgive him.”
“While we’re at it…” Javier clears his throat, lowering his now empty glass, “I’m sorry too.”
“For what?”
“For everything.”
“You didn’t cause this.”
“I feel like I kind of did mess things up though. I’m quite good at it.”
“Javier…”
“What?”
You lower your glass too, reaching out to take his hand which he hesitantly accepts. “You’re not a bad guy. In no way, shape or form. Trust me on this. I know them pretty well. And you don’t fit in that category.”
When you smile at him, so sincere and bright, Javier pulls back his hand, chugging the rest of whiskey and focusing solely on the way it burns his throat.
And yet when he thinks of the way his body feels when you’re around you, that all-too-familiar burn is nothing compared to it.
“If I wouldn’t have taken this job, maybe things wouldn’t have been this way between you and Steve,” Javier mutters.
“Things between me and Steve have been rocky for years. They would’ve probably continued to be tense if you hadn’t pushed us to talk. Involuntarily, of course. And besides, if you wouldn’t have taken the job… I wouldn’t have met you.”
“I don’t know anyone whose life was better for having known me.”
“There is someone I can think of.”
Javier briefly gazes at you and quickly wishes he’d evaporate. It feels too much, far too consuming to even maintain eye contact with you on account of all the fear, the impossible yearning, the confusion and the—
No. stop it. This is not that.
“Anyway,” you resume, feeling a bit short of breath yourself, “I don’t think Steve wanted me to meet you in the first place.”
“That kinda makes me wanna get back at him.”
“Me too. And you know what would show him?”
Javier raises his brow, already anticipating and dreading the answer before it ever leaves your mouth.
“If we hooked up,” you smile wickedly.
He cocks an eyebrow, his interest peaked and his stomach all twisted in knots. “That so?”
“Mhm. We could let him stew in doubt, let him guess.”
“How would we pull that off?”
“Well, since we already agreed actually doing it is out of the question, a light touch on the arm when we’re all together, gazing at each other from afar, smiling… a kiss on the cheek, stuff like that.”
Javier has no idea when he finds himself in your close proximity again. All he knows is that he’s sitting on the chair next to you, leaning in yet again, cursing his own inner demons for fighting a losing battle, and his breaths betraying his restlessness.
“The buildup to a kiss is the best part,” he coos, and you swear you shiver for a second. “One of them, anyway.”
“Is it though?”
“Yes. What kind of jackasses did you date in the past? Jesus Christ.”
“The worst I could find.”
Against his better judgment—if there was any of it left—Javier chuckles, forcing himself to look at you.
“The moment you look into each other’s eyes and lean in, that’s where it all starts. It’s simple but it’s really powerful stuff. Heart beats faster. Breaths get shallower. At some point your eyes sort of drift away to the other’s lips, wondering what they taste and feel like. And then, when you finally feel bold enough to lean in more…”
You close your eyes, Javier’s faintly whiskey-infused breath all warm and tingly over your lips, and you wait. What you receive in return is a phone ringing though, so you instantly pull away, opening your eyes again and noticing the same expression on Javier’s face as you assume is on yours: desperation.
“I—“he starts, but you shush him immediately.
“It’s okay.”
We shouldn’t anyway, you think.
“Hello?” Javier practically groans into the telephone. “Hey, Con.”
You turn towards him on instinct, curious about the subject matter between the two, though you shouldn’t be; you know exactly what this is about, and at this late hour nonetheless.
“No,” Javier answers in an unusually dark and steady voice, eyes locked on your figure. “She’s not here.”
You look at him, utterly taken aback, and you gulp.
“Have you at least heard from her?” Connie inquires at the other end, unbeknownst to you. “She had a talk or a fight or something with Steve and now he’s worried. He says he called her apartment, went there and there’s no answer. It’s a whole thing.”
“I haven’t heard from her.”
“Javi…”
“Look, Con, with all due respect and care, she’s a grown woman and Murphy needs to stop babying her. She’s perfectly capable of making her own choices and seems to me that right now she doesn’t want to be found. So whatever you think it is that I’m doing…”
“I’m not thinking anything. Should I?”
“We’re… friends.”
“Have you noticed that whenever you say that, the pause between ‘we’ and ‘friends’ gets bigger?”
Javier frowns and blinks several times in a row, dumbfounded. “What?”
“It started out as ‘oh, we’re friends’ but now it’s more along the lines of ‘oh. We’re… sigh… friends’.”
“I sound nothing like that.”
“Javi. Come on.”
“I told you, Con. She’s not here tonight. Wherever she is, I’m sure she’s fine. She just wants to be left alone for a bit.”
“Well if you hear from her—“
“Yeah. Goodnight, Connie.”
Javier hangs up, frozen in the same spot. He knows that now there is no going back and that he’s in deep shit, but truthfully he only gives a damn about your well-being.
Everything else is tomorrow’s problem.
“You lied,” you coo.
“Fine observation skills.”
“Thank you.”
Javier stares at the ground, processing his own words and thoughts. Ever since he left Colombia, he’s all but tried to always do the right thing, the honorable thing and be a respectable man in today’s society. Not the Javier that worked with one of the most gruesome groups in the world for the greater cause, not Javier that bent the American embassy’s rules to fit into his scenarios, but a new Javier that was good and learned from his mistakes.
And now, every time he looks at you, he feels himself falling deeper into temptation, on the verge of making another mistake. Only this one might not be so easy to fix.
“Don’t thank me,” he mutters, pacing around the living room. “It was stupid and selfish. Obviously Connie knows you’re here and Steve’s gonna know and the whole thing’s gonna blow up in my fucking face.”
You notice him purposely avoiding your eyes and you reckon by the edgy way he’s marching through the living room that there are dozens of things on his mind now, if not more.
“Javier.”
No answer, more pacing.
“Javier, look at me.”
Still no answer, slightly less pacing.
“Why aren’t you looking at me? A minute ago you couldn’t stop looking at me when we were about to—“
“We were about to do nothing.”
“Right. I just—“
Then, Javier turns to you so abruptly it startles you for a second. You watch him walk towards you with a look on his face that you can’t quite put together. But it doesn’t intimidate you, nor does it scare you. On the contrary: it rather makes you want to hold him and be with him.
“What the hell are you doing to me?” he murmurs, his chocolate, soft eyes now glued to yours.
“I’m not—I’m not doing any—“
“No, you’re fucking consuming me. Eating me alive from inside out. And looking at you… whenever I look at you, I feel my promise to Steve break. I feel myself break, I feel… I feel the way I did back in Colombia, all fucked up and twisted and you don’t deserve that.”
“You never talk about it. Colombia.”
Javier purses his lips, holding his breath. “Sometimes it feels like I never left. Like it’s hell all around me. But then I think I can’t possibly be in hell cause you wouldn’t be there otherwise.”
Your heart flutters in your chest, your cheeks scorch with flattery and your body only craves more.
“Instead, you’re… here,” Javier continues, somewhat distraught. “You’re here and you’re… warm and fun and… alive. And your scent… I can’t get it out of my fucking head even if I know I should, I really should. Fucking… lavender, ruining me. And I just… I was hollow back there. I was dark and a jackass and… not as half as honorable as I thought I was, or that I’d be. I did shitty things, bad things. Colombia twisted me in ways I can’t revert. But I want to be better now, I want to be worthy, ironically because of you and for you. So looking at you feels like the most incredible thing in the world and the worst.”
You inch closer, breathless from the words that have been thrown at you, so raw and heartfelt.
“Did you ever kill a child?” you ask, and you can see the surprise on Javier’s face as the question is being processed by him.
“No.”
“A woman?”
“No.”
You nod once, slowly, inching even closer to him. “I thought we’re friends,” you whisper.
“We are, which is why I’m saying this with respect and care. Being your friend is killing me.”
“You said I’m not your type.”
“Apparently I was wrong. So very wrong. Apparently… you’re the very thing that I want. Pathetically desperate and… so fucking needy.”
Your skin is on fire by now, your throat dry and your mouth practically drooling.
“Javi,” you manage to get out.
“No, don’t—don’t do this to me right now.”
“Don’t do what? What are you—“
“Don’t say ‘Javi’, not like that.”
“How should I say it then?”
Javier’s eyes drop to your lips, and all of a sudden he’s unable to look elsewhere, consumed entirely by the unholiest thoughts he’s ever known.
“I got some ideas,” he whispers, his tongue wetting his lips.
“Mind sharing them with me?”
“I can’t.”
“But I want you to do this to me. There, verbal consent.”
Javier cocks his head to the side, thus exposing his neck and you’re feeling more parched than ever.
“The things I could do to you…” he mutters as if strictly to himself. “The things I could show you…”
“So show them to me. Show me… you.”
“Fuck, I want—“
“What do you want, Javi?”
The way you said his name, fully aware of the effect it has on him now and how much it messes with his mind, it makes Javier unable to think straight and certainly unable to resist you. In what can only be described as an act of insanity, Javier’s hand boldly rests on your waist, barely touching, and yet enough for both of you to feel the heat radiating from it.
“I want to do this right,” he says. “You’re not a random hookup. I—I wanna take you out to dinner, get to know you and be with you.”
“Dinner sounds nice.”
“Tomorrow night at seven?”
“Okay.”
In an even more insane act, you decide to move closer to him so that your lips press against his stubbled cheek. The touch is tentative, meant to be appreciative and thankful, but in the end, it only acts as a detonator to an already short enough fuse.
Before your brain properly understands what’s happening, you feel Javier sliding down your body until he kneels before you and wraps his arms around your legs and look up at you.
“Show me how to be good,” Javier mutters, and it shocks you to your core. “Show me how to be good, for you. Please.”
You open your mouth, and yet nothing comes out. Your mind must’ve short-circuited because no words come to mind except Sylvie’s from many weeks ago. 
Mark my words, this Javier is gonna be on his knees before you, asking you to teach him how to be good.
Then you’re gonna be in big trouble, missy.
Damn you, Sylvie.
Still tongue-tied, you place your index finger beneath Javier’s chin, thus signaling him to stand back up. He follows obediently, staring at you once more and waiting, his heart in his throat.
Finally, at long fucking last, with chills creeping up your spine, you cup Javier’s cheeks and press your lips against his.
And good lord, is this the softest kiss you’ve ever had in your entire life.
It’s languid, tentative at first, as if you’re both waiting for each other’s reaction to it, but within the following seconds, the kiss turns sloppy and heated, betraying your eagerness.
Javier’s hands wrap around your body expertly, and he hums into your mouth, the sound going straight into your cunt almost soaking you on the spot. This is the part of relationships he’s actually really good at, something he’s very confident in, so he wastes no time in guiding you to his bedroom, leaving a wet trail of kisses down on your neck as he plops you on the bed, him atop of you.
“If you want to stop, you gotta tell me now,” he warns, his voice as dark as his eyes. “I mean, we can stop at any point, but if you don’t—“
“I want this, Javier. I want you. I don’t want to stop.”
Javier groans, his mouth back on yours and seemingly devouring it whilst his hands roam nervously on your body. There’s dampness between your legs, and you have the urge to rub your legs together in an attempt to hide the slickness, but when you feel a calloused hand grabbing the back of your thigh, gently squeezing it, you part your legs as if to make enough room for him. And he does; Javier grinds between your legs, beginning to undress you with so much determination it’s causing your head to spin.
By the time you’re topless and writhing beneath him, you’re begging for him to touch you some more. You’re begging for his hands, his mouth, any part of him that he’s willing to give to you, and Javier obeys without a single objection in mind.
“Lift your hips for me,” he instructs, and you do as he says.
Your pants come off, then Javier’s eyes stop on your underwear, already eating you up with a single look.
“So fuckin’ pretty,” you hear him say, and you shiver.
It’s you who pulls him back in for a kiss, and it feels like the most maddening, enticing and damnable thing in the whole wide world. One of Javier’s hands reaches in between your legs, feeling the dampness soaking your panties, and you gasp. He massages your clit through the fabric, having you moan uncontrollably right in his mouth, more so when you’re completely bare, panties thrown carelessly to the side.
“On my face,” Javier manages to get out during the brief pause which he takes to undress himself.
“What?”
“Sit on my face. Right now. I wanna taste you.”
Your mouth ajar, you stare at him struggling to compose yourself but there is no possible scenario in which you can accomplish that successfully. Instead, your eye roam over his shirtless figure, the sight fueling your needs further.
“Will you let me taste you?”
“I—it’s just I’ve never—done that, really.”
Javier looks dumbfounded at you. “You never sat on a guy’s face?”
“No, some of them barely went down on me, so I—“
“Do you trust me?”
You nod.
“Then take a seat.”
Javier lies down on the bed, quickly disposing of his own pants in the process, and it’s only then that you notice how hard he is. It can’t be comfortable, and yet here he is, choosing to do something that’s aimed for your pleasure. Unless of course this gives him great pleasure as well, which you think it does, and that only makes things tougher.
You climb up his body, quivering when you feel his calloused hands kneading the flesh of your ass and thighs as you do so, and quickly try to figure out the logistics of the act. That is, until Javier loses patience and grabs your thighs, placing them on either sides of his face, and you nearly lose your goddamn mind at his first taste he takes of you.
You’re sitting all the way on his face, his nose nudging your clit and his tongue lapping at your folds, collecting every ounce of arousal he can get. It’s pleasure from an angle you didn’t even dream of, and Javier certainly knows his way around a woman’s body. You react out of impulse and grab a handful of his hair, tugging on it while Javier’s tongue splits you open.
“Oh—f-fuck—“
You’re stuttering, heart pounding in your ears and your whole body afire; so much so that you shake, and not out of pleasure—not yet. But the way Javier yaps at your pussy, you somehow know he’s gonna get you there soon.
Beneath you, Javier listens closely to all the sounds you let out for him; he takes the time to feel every portion of your skin, not just the way his mouth is buried in your pussy, and to say he’s in awe would be a crass understatement. When you start grinding on his mouth, your body’s natural reaction to the way ecstasy builds in your body, Javier can’t help his own body’s reaction to it. You don’t see his hand sneaking behind you to curl around his weeping cock, and even if you did, all you’d want would be to take him in your mouth instead, give him at least half the pleasure and happiness he’d been giving you all this time.
“Javi—“
“Mhmmm—sounds so fucking good when you say it like that.”
“J-Javi, please—“
“Shit I could drink from you—all day long.”
Too impatient, both of Javier’s hands go back to your ass, grabbing it so that you rock faster against his tongue, but you’re already moving out of your own accord in a desperate attempt to capture more of his mouth, to have that feeling that’s only bubbling in your belly explode into a thousand explosive flames.
“Need you to say it,” you hear him beg from between your legs. “Can you say it for me, hm? Ask me.”
“Please, Javi…”
“Say it.”
“Javi, I need—I need you. Need to… feel you.”
Then, it all seizes around you: your mind goes blank, your vision goes dark, nothing but stars all around you and unbearable heat bursting from beneath you and going up till your whole body is enveloped in it. Javier’s hands continue to explore your body, touching and caressing every inch of skin, his eyes never leaving your figure like he’s admiring the most precious work of art there is.
“So beautiful,” you see him murmur as you’re getting off him.
Javier licks his lips teasingly just as you lean down to kiss him again. You doubt you’d ever get enough of his mouth now that you’ve finally tasted it.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says. “And so tasty.”
You smile flustered, still unable to think of anything proper to say. Some words do come to mind, of course; thank you, I appreciate your friendship, I’m in love with you—
Oh no, not that one.
You begin to fear that the way you’re kissing him exposes the reality in your mind, the word you undeniably feel fluttering inside your chest, begging to be released, but you can’t. It’s far too soon and too hasty, so you keep them to yourself. As your bodies get entangled with one another and you find yourself beneath him once again, you abandon those words in a tiny box at the back of your mind, sealed.
 You find that once you keep your mouth shut, you can only gaze at Javier, and he at you. There’s nothing else to be said, not when your body’s being molded in such tender ways by Javier’s hands and mouth, praised for simply being here in between the sheets with him.
“Javi?”
“Hm?”
“Can you please fuck me now? I think we’ve both waited enough.”
“Couldn’t agree more.”
Javier reaches over, opening the nightstand and eventually rolling a condom onto his erection, lining up to your entrance. You can’t help but admire Javier, his eyes, his lips, his cheeks, his strong arms, his chest and his belly, the soft, dark curls at the base of his cock, the way his lower lip quivers when he’s overwhelmed.
“You’re so—“you gasp.
And the way he fills you to the brim in one languid, careful thrust is equal parts mesmerizing and enticing.
“So what?” Javier asks.
“So pretty.”
Javier stills for a moment, blinking in confusion. “No one’s said that to me before. I don’t… am I?”
You smile, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes. Very much so.”
Then Javier sinks into you, inch by delicious inch. You feel him pressing down onto you, completely undone and ravished, and keeps muttering into your ear little praises here and there. Your back arched, you take him and his words deep inside you, allowing Javier to consume you as much as he told you that you consume him.
And you have to admit, it is the most maddening sensation in the world.
He starts to move, a new urge overcoming him than when he’d been with women in the past. Being with you feels different because for the first time in so many years, he doesn’t want to rush; in spite of his neediness and almost two years of celibacy, now that he’s here, with you and inside of you, he wants to remain in this moment for as long as possible. He doesn’t have to rush, he realizes. There’s no bombs going off in the distance or shootings—most importantly, Colombia is not out there.
But you are here, soft and warm and kind and beautiful and Javier can barely breathe thinking about how much he adores you.
He wants to say the words, he feels them on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t want to scare you away. And he doesn’t want to rush things when this has the potential to be something so great.
His thrusts keep the same pace, though Javier feels like he could easily come at any given moment. Your tight, warm walls around him make him dizzy, utterly lost in that damned lavender scent and in your eyes and your smile. And your lips—oh God, he could kiss you all day and all night long. All the other times he’d abstained from kissing you, how close he was… how could he not have you that way?
“Javi…”
It’s all he hears, his name moaned from your perfect lips. All he knows now is you, the way you arch your back with each thrust of his, the way you gasp when his hand lays on your stomach and his thumb plays with your clit.
“I’ve thought about this, you and me… before,” you smile, cupping his cheeks.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm. I swore I’d never tell you. But now—“
“I thought about it too.”
“You—you did?”
Javier nods, leaning down to peck your lips, the gesture followed by an ecstatic smile.
“I shouldn’t have. I knew it was… it was wrong, it was dirty and cheap… I couldn’t stop. I—I tried, please believe me, I really tried, I—“
“Javi, shhh. I know you did. You were very honorable, and a great friend. Especially now, to me.”
You both smile against each other’s lips, Javier’s hips stuttering after a little while. He feels that familiar burn in his stomach, and that’s the only time he dares speed up, almost manically so. With a few grunts, Javier buries his head in the crook of your neck, cursing once in a while as his orgasm bubbled in his whole body. He needs to feel you pulse around him more than anything.
“I’m—shitshitshit—“
“It’s okay, come for me, Javi.”
“But I—“
“I’m close too.”
“Yeah?”
“S-So close… please…”
You don’t need to beg: you and Javier are right there, both tipping over the edge of sanity and falling right into the pit of passion and ecstasy. Javier grunts the loudest he ever had, spilling himself inside the condom and remaining still above you, the pleasure coursing through his veins overwhelming him completely. He looks down on you and sees your face scrunched up in the most adorable and alluring way and it dawns on him: it’s because of him. You came twice now, once in his mouth and once around his cock, gasping and moaning sweetly because of him. There’s a pride in his chest, pride and flattery, almost to an animalistic, primal degree.
When he pulls out, you feel empty and lonely, though the thought seems ridiculous because he’s right there still, isn’t he? You can’t help it—it’s like you want your bodies to remain united as one for as long as humanly possible.
“Oh, by the way,” Javier says, returning from the bathroom with a towel that he begins to press on your inner thighs and between them, “this is probably obvious, but we’re not telling your brother about this, right?”
You raise your eyebrows, bemused at his genuine question.
“I know we joked about it before, but… still.”
“Unless hell freezes over, no, we are not telling Steven shit.”
previous | next
tags: @pedrostories @psychedelic-ink @milkymoon2483 @ifall4dilfs @casa-boiardi @fallenkitten @jenispunk
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chemzee · 5 months ago
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How likely are hpma characters to die tierlist yay!!!
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since Y4 is on the horizon, it's about time I post this silly lil tierlist I did a long time ago and explain my reasonings behind it. Unlike the dating option tierlist, this one is purely intuitive and there isn't any hard logic or facts behind it, it's just the vibes, basically.
(most of these are speculated to die due to a sacrifice and the last tier is more of a half joke, but I'll explain later)
You're free to disagree with me ofc and if you have any thoughts or your own personal theories, feel free to share! :D
Edit: just in case, please remember that this is just a theory and speculations based on pure intuition and I could be very wrong about all of this and your fav or just nobody in general will die. I did this tierlist for fun and fun only.
MOST LIKELY
This tier is for non companion characters only, as I believe companion characters, in their majority, are not going to die at all (aka anyone below likely tier is most likely safe). Out of all characters that appeared in the storyline, these 3 give off the biggest death flags.
Elliot: he's an antagonist so it already means he's more likely to die hsdakd. But on more serious note, I feel like his personality and especially his life philosophy are what would lead him to his demise. Or to his arrest. It's either of these two,really.
Esme: as much as this one would hurt like hell, it's also a likely possibility. She was already used as a plot point for Daniel and his arc, her getting hospitalized and with high chance of being permanently damaged leaves me to believe the story killing her off isn't too far fetched. Just another way to traumatize Daniel, basically. CRossing my fingers that it aint gonna happen tho.
Winifred: same reasoning as for Esme, she's got a high chance of dying for sake of Ivy's arc. She was already kinda "killed off" after she accidentally evanesco-ed herself, so high chances are, she will die for real or she'll accidentally kill or seriously injure someone. A part of me feels that the twins,most likely, would not have a happy ending, with Winnie either being killed off or something else terrible happening to her. Perhaps she'll sacrifice herself for Ivy.
LIKELY
Here we start with the companion characters. As I mentioned earlier, I highly doubt anyone below this tier will die, but there's still a possibility I can't deny.
Colby and Fischer, however, are the exception, to me personally. And my bet is it's going to be one of the two, rather than two of them together. Given how in one of the interviews it's mentioned the twins's relationship would become more tense and distant at some point in the story, I feel like one of them dying would be a pretty likely outcome, for sake of development of the other twin and Cassandra. I suspect a sacrifice.
Question is, which of the twins it's gonna be. My bet is on Fischer, mostly because of how I suspect Colby's development is going to go, but Colby can still be the unlucky one lol.
HIGH POSSIBILITY
aka not really. If anything, I doubt these characters are going to die. But if anyone out of rest of companions will face death in the storyline, these 3 are the most likely.
Daniel: Daniel is...well, Daniel. He's a loyal friend, someone who's described to never betray those he holds dear and we've seen him be really protective of his friends and family, deliberately putting himself in danger to save those he loves, especially during Y3. I smell sacrifice, likely for sake for MC and Ivy. Or one of his family members. Or- ok I'll stop here.
Ivy: pretty much the same reasoning like the one behind Daniel, her sacrificing herself for sake of MC, Daniel or Winnie. She too, is a loyal and protective friend, someone who hates injustices or bullies, willing to break rules for her friends, so again, I can smell a potential sacrifice. Or it's her anger issues and impulsivity that are going to lead her to her demise. But I feel like she has less chances than Daniel though.
Kevin: falls off his broom and dies lol. Ok on serious note, I can,sorta, imagine a "final stage of his character development" scenario where he becomes brave enough to be able to defend himself and his friends, especially Robyn. And, in the end, sacrifices himself for her. I doubt it would happen tho but it's still a possibility. But a lot less likely than the rest of the characters.
HARD TO SAY
Self explanatory, I can see them dying, especially Cass, but I don't think it'll happen. Mostly because I don't see why would they be killed off, other than for shock. So it may or may not, again, hard to say.
Robyn: ehh, given her personality, her dying kinda makes sense but storywise why would they kill her off? I mean, she could die for Kevin's character development, but Kevin dying kinda makes more sense to me personally.
Cassandra: I actually wanted to put her in the tier list above, because I can see her dying after her redemption arc while protecting someone, you know, another noble death/sacrifice scenario. But like. I dunno, she doesn't strike me as someone who'd die because like,what for? Her personality also doesn't give me any reason to believe she'll die, unless someone would try to kill her, but she's confrmed to have a redemtion arc so I doubt the attempt would be successful. It makes a lot more sense to keep her alive from narrative perspective. I think, at least.
LIKELY NOT
Lottie: game constantly ignores her existence so she will escape claws of death thanks to neglect writers give her/jjj. Ok in all seriousness, she literally has no reason to be killed off. Like. What for? Shock value is the only reason I can think of and I doubt they would go that route. She's safe, most likely.
MC TIER
bc of how often HPMA storyline parallels or straight up copies the original HP plot, a silly part of me thinks there would be a scene in like, Y7, where MC would have a false death moment. As in, either die and resurrect (I highly doubt tho despite the tier being called that (I did think that while making it tho but I changed my mind)) or they would appear dead but in reality, they were alive all along. Or they would recieve a very bad, potentially lethal injury, but would survive. I could be wrong tho ofc but a part of me feels like that's kind of a route they'd go with.
Doubt they'd kill off the player character fr lmao
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ANYWAY this was longer than I thought it would be lol THANKS A LOT to everyone who read until the end hehehe :3
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justatalkingface · 5 months ago
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hello! i don't want this ask to come off as mean or targeted at all so please don't take it that way, but i'm confused as to why you're still a my hero fan you don't seem to like the characters or the way that the story is headed, is it just hate watching (uhh,, consuming of media??) at this point? again it's cool if that's what it is, but you talk about the characters like they aren't that in depth, not just bakugou but. the other villains and also izuku too.
you said something about izuku just being happy and content with losing one for all in the new leaks, (in that same post you weren't caught up so i sorta get why you could draw to that conclusion,) but also izuku's character is known for bottling up his emotions.
Izuku's is always happy (even when he's not), the only time we really see him fall apart is his vigilante arc. yes throughout the story he is constantly crying, but again, never in situations that he is really hurt emotionally you know? We get to see his journey and his progress, it's all that he's ever wanted in life, to have a quirk and save people, so when that gets stripped away, he's gonna be a bit gutted no? thats what i think at least. the story started with "this is how i become the worlds greatest hero" but i think it's always been more about what make someone a hero, why people should want to be heros, and their stories behind it. why else create flawed characters like bakugou and shigaraki if not to show all the side of the story?
gosh, sorry didn't mean to write a whole essay, my words tend to get away from me. I would love to see your views once you do catch up tho.
Hmm. Well, I talked about some of my motivations in... that Gaiden post, I think, but if I wasn't OK with ranting, I wouldn't have made this account just to rant.
Why am I still a fan? And as an extended of that, still posting?
Spite.
No, seriously.
Like. When I first started reading MHA, I was amazed. It just felt so... refreshing, so unique; I loved how determined and kind Izuku was, I loved how human All Might was, I liked the variety apparent in the world, how rich it felt, all the potential to it. And then, before my eyes, I watched it rot away, so slowly I didn't even realize what was happening until it was already dead.
I miss what MHA was, and so much of this is... mourning, almost, for what was and could have been.
Also, like I said, spite, because I watched this fester before my eyes and honestly I want to call out each and every wound and point of rot on it's corpse, along with some desire for validation in finding people who agree with me.
'but you talk about the characters like they aren't that in depth, not just bakugou but. the other villains and also izuku too.'
Not... quite sure what you mean here? I think you mean that I think they're done badly? (And I do, so you're not wrong there.)
Alright, see, so I don't disagree with your logic here: Izuku is a mess. Izuku is a mess held together by lack of time (or not being allowed) to process his shit storm of a life and duty. He's gotten everything taken away from him.
He should be pissed. He should be feel destroyed, depressed.
But the keyword here is 'should'. And that is the problem, in a word. Izuku 'should' be upset. He 'should' be depressed.
But historically, things that 'should' happen regarding Izuku just... don't happen. From his abilities, to his opinion on himself, to other people's views on him... what 'should' happen, logically, just doesn't.
Also... let me pose a question:
Do you think Hori is going to end MHA with Izuku withering away from depression? That his friends, one by one, are going to abandon him, because they only ever really liked his Quirk, that his mom is going to die of disappointment of her useless son, that All Might will get killed by a three year old wielding a balloon? And that he'll die early, and the only one to attend his funeral will be Aizawa, out of obligation, and his entire summery of Izuku's life, and the inscription on his grave, will be 'Problem Child'?
Of course not. (Even though I get the feeling that Hori kind of does want that.) If he tried it, the editors would literally kill him. Less dramatically, they just wouldn't print it and make him rewrite it, because they don't want to fuck up the MHA cash cow at the finish line.
I'm not caught up, yet, but for this? I don't have to be. Stories like shonens follow basic structures, like a sort of skeletal system; you may not know the fine details, but you do know some things will happen. And shonens? They always have happy endings. Always. Even if the MC dies, they'll do it willingly, for a Great Cause(TM), and almost certainly go with a smile, and satisfied with their life choices. If it was a manga like Berserk, it would have been up in the air, because Berserk doesn't follow the same narrative rules, and so how it ends and what not are far more open to question than something like this (ignoring that, yes, Berserk ended too).
Fundamentally, MHA will not end with Izuku miserable. It basiclly can't.
That's why I say he'll be content, because he doesn't really have the time to be miserable before MHA finishes up. At worst, he'll have a brief shown moment of sad, because he reaches acceptance, because he won't be allowed to feel otherwise.
(Yeah, this doesn't feel targeted or anything, don't worry about it. If you get something more specific to ask me or whatever, knock yourself out.)
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alternatefandom · 2 years ago
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Right, so I (ariciabetelguese, on my main) was having a discussion with @addictofanimation on Alhaitham's actions towards Kaveh, but I don't wish to clog moonilit's notes further. So I invite you to continue our talk here, shall we?
First, allow me straighten out a misperception: I never claimed that Alhaitham doesn't care about Kaveh. I've stated that he does care, in an inept way ("he's clearly trying his best from his limited perspective, so kudos for that, I guess?"). But I still think what Alhaitham did was borderline cruel, and this is where I'm coming from.
In my youth, I was a lot like Alhaitham. Half the fandom cleanly pegged him an INTJ, and I am, too. He values rationality and knowledge, and so do I. He's practical and pragmatic; so am I. His insight can cut people to the quick, causing him to conflict with people; so had mine. Nobody liked to go up against me, and truth be told, I was perfectly content that way.
Alhaitham said he is not a leader. I agree. Here's where we differ: Alhaitham is not interested in exploring that, while I was.
So out of curiosity, I led people, despite hating every second of it. Here is what I found: 'tough love' as you called it only works if you can make sure the person was picked up afterwards. Pain is a great teacher, but only if you're treated after. Otherwise, there's a big possibility that the other person will actually be set back in their journey of healing, and if you get yourself cut off, there's really not much you can do to fix that.
And until the Palace of Alcazarzaray was built, Alhaitham was never there to pick up Kaveh, nor was he there to make sure that someone else did. I'm not even sure if he tried to apologize; was there a lore bit I missed somewhere? After all, to this day, he still takes digs at Kaveh's very ideals, the things he prided himself on, although people still disagree on whether or not Kaveh takes these digs seriously. Regardless, I don't think much of Alhaitham's methods, and seeing as Kaveh remained a stubborn idealist who literally gave up everything for Dori's palace, we can see that his methods didn't work out all that well, either, so... yeah.
When you are your own worst enemy, it takes a friend/family being real with you to snap you out of it. The best way to tackle illogic actions/thoughts is with logic and reality. Alhaitham didn't let Kaveh believe a lie (that it was somehow his fault) and used logic against it.
And yet.
Alhaitham had seen through the reality that he had never been able to face, causing him to feel reality's bite for the first time, a feeling that made Kaveh steadfastly declare that he regretted making friends with this all-too-intelligent person.
Kaveh already knows. He didn't even waste a second denying Alhaitham's words because deep down, he already knew. He was simply not ready to face it; he didn't know how to do so. To reiterate: as a whole, it's not a logical trauma, so it's not so easily solved with facts and logic. If it was, a brilliant engineer like Kaveh would've solved it easily.
What Alhaitham did was like telling a depressed person that they have no reason to be sad because they have too much to be grateful for in life. Detangling an illogical trauma is not that simple. Does that mean Kaveh was too sensitive? I guess, in the same vein of people who's just been wounded are too sensitive, geeze, why did you shout when I poured alcohol over your wound? After all, alcohol is good at cleaning wounds, no? What I did was a good thing!
Once again. I'm not saying that Alhaitham doesn't care about Kaveh, or that he wasn't trying to help. I'm saying he's incredibly inept at caring, and he ended up hurting more than helping during their fight. But then again, he was still young and inexperienced at the time, so I won't blame him too much for it. In the end, I agree that his friendship with Kaveh could be somewhat beneficial; both of them could learn from the other's example. After all, they're each other's reflection :)
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miss-andromeda · 1 year ago
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All's Fair in Love and Science
Chapter 8: ...But I Just Can't Prove It
~
A news report about a missing scientist prompts Andi and Donnie to investigate, but they end up uncovering a mystery regarding his colleague, a monkey, and a canister of mutagen - and ends up bringing them closer in the process.
~
And we're back with another chapter! Hope you enjoyed Andi's increased presence in the last one, she's finally coming into her own here! Special thanks as always to my dear friend @tinkabelle19 for her help, and thank you all for the continued encouragement and feedback!
And with that said, on with the show! 🩷
~
Another day brought forth another training session between Mikey and Donnie.
As the former kept performing forward folds and standing side stretches (all with a cocky smile on his face,) the latter was getting progressively more annoyed - until he kicked off the sparring session with a battle yell and approached. 
The moment Donnie tried to land a spinning back-kick, Mikey immediately leaped up to dodge, then avoided being pinned behind the back by Donnie with a flip to free his arm, then completely avoided being tossed over his elder brother's head and onto the ground by doing a perfect back flip. Once he landed, he laughed in victory as Donnie stood where he was, looking annoyed - not because Mikey outsmarted him, but because of his technique. 
"Dude, what are you doing? You don't defend against seoi nage with backflips." Donnie told him - that was not at all what Splinter had taught them, and like Leo, Donnie was always one to want to follow what they had been taught - regardless of how much it really affected the victor of the fight. It was the principle that mattered.
But Mikey, being the free spirit he was, disagreed. "Why not? Backflips are where it's at!" Clearly it was if he was able to outsmart Donnie with incredible ease.
Donnie still didn't understand the logic, though. "The best defense is to roll along my back, then take me to the ground and put me in an armlock." In typical Donnie fashion, though, he immediately started thinking of alternative methods to respond to such an attack. "Unless, of course, I counter with a-"
"Hey, man, you can't take the fire out of-" Interrupting his brother, Mikey yelled a battle cry as he backflipped again, before putting his hands to his face to emphasize the brilliant name he had just come up with...for himself. "-Dr. Flip-enstein!"
Giving him a bewildered look, Donnie shook his head at the absurdity. "I don't even know what that means." To be fair, no one really did understand what went through Mikey's head a lot of the time. He was about to go back to sparring when he saw Splinter emerge from his room - and immediately decided to clear up what was more effective in a fight. "Master Splinter, what would you do if someone tried to throw you with seoi nage?"
Splinter gave the most succinct answer possible: "I don't know."
Even more bewildered, Donnie continued to ask. "Come on, you must have planned for a response for every attack." How else would Splinter have become such a brilliant ninja and sensei?
This time, Splinter decided to give him a more thought-provoking answer. "If you think too much about what is coming, you lose sight of what is. You must be fully in the moment so you can fight without thinking."
But to Donnie, that sounded like he would be asking for disaster. "Why would I want to fight without thinking?" 
So Splinter decided to give him a perfect example of why. "Allow me to demonstrate. Prepare to defend against seoi nage!" Rather than toss Donnie over his shoulder, though, the rat used his tail to sweep him off his feet, then force him into an armlock on the ground with one foot on his shell. Easy victory once again.
"Ow! That wasn't seoi nage!" Donnie told him, feeling a hint of betrayal at being lied to. But the point was definitely there - even if Donnie didn't entirely grasp it right away. 
Splinter managed a small chuckle. "No, but you thought it would be." He simply explained, letting Donnie go so he could get to his feet. "Now, would you like to defend against a spinning back-kick?"
This time, the purple-masked turtle knew better. "No, I'm good." He replied in a strained voice as Splinter left him be. 
Once it was back to the two of them, Mikey decided to rub some salt in the wound with a little laugh as he walked over to Donnie. "You know what would've worked there?" And in true younger brother fashion, he exclaimed, "Backflip!" while also performing jazz hands - and Donnie groaned at both the pain and Mikey being a nuisance. 
This was going to be a long day.
~
After the utter humiliation that was sparring with Mikey, Donnie was back in the lab and drawing precise lines on a sheet of poster paper, connecting small pictures together as a flowchart. On the top in intense lettering wrote: 'Masterplan: HANG WITH ANDI (again).' 
"What'cha up to, Donnie?"
His concentration was broken as he let out a little yelp, noticing the sudden presence of Leo, Raph, and Mikey - who were surrounding him with knowing smiles on their faces. But he quickly regained his composure as he went back to drawing the lines. "Just putting the finishing touches on my master plan." 
"Master plan?" Raph asked incredulously, to which Donnie simply replied, "Yeah, to make sure that Andi and I hang out again."
All three boys laughed at that possibility - while Donnie ignored them and just continued drawing. They knew how much he liked her, but wasn't this a little bit extreme - even for him? They all knew that Andi would never say no to hanging out with him - so it must've just been his confidence that was waning when it came to her. 
Either that, or he was being his overly romantic (to the point of concerning) self when it came to her.
"Uh, try this. 'Andi, building Metalhead was fun last time. Do you want to hang out again?'" Leo told him, intentionally dumbing his voice to the most simple tone imaginable to prove his point. 
"Yeah, you see, it's not that simple. I have to prepare for every possible outcome to maximize my chances of success." Donnie explained, adding another line to the chart. He must've been up to...at least 100 at this point. 
"Aw, that's so romantic." Mikey smiled with his head now resting on his palm as he watched Donnie stand up and place the chart against the back of a poster display stand. Of course, there was a tinge of sarcasm, but there was genuinely a part of him that was rooting for this to work. He was arguably the most familiar with emotions (save for Donnie, of course,) and to see his elder brother be this head over heels for a girl was sweet...if a tiny bit weird. 
Grabbing a nearby wooden pointer, Donnie cleared his throat like he was...about to give a lecture. "Yeah, for instance. If Andi says she can't because she's working on a project, then I will suggest coming over to her apartment to help her out. Granted, her lab isn't as spacious as mine, but I'm sure it'd be able to house another scientist." He explained, pointing to a little picture of Andi with a beaker in her hand which then led to another picture of the two of them smiling at each other with goggles on their heads. 
"Well, what if she says she can't because you're somehow an even bigger nerd than her?" Raph asked, his bluntness adding a sense of humor, as well as a sense of realism, to the conversation. 
However, Donnie wasn't phased. "Ah, that's this thread here!" He added, moving to the other side of the chart. "I will suggest activities that don't require much intelligence and aren't perceived as nerdy, such as watching a movie together or listening to one of her favorite albums."
"Guys!" And speak of the devil, there she was with April. 
Immediately, Donnie yelped and frantically turned the stand around, showing an old poster of Space Heroes III: The Resurrection of Mindstrong - from the 1980s. "Uh, hey, girls." He tried to play it off as he leaned against the stand, thanking his lucky stars that Andi didn't see it. 
"You guys got to check this out." April told them as Andi opened her laptop (it was very clearly hers by the pink case and the stickers on it - ranging from Salem's Witches to the biology stickers April gave her for her birthday to Marie Curie quotes) and pulled up the video from the news site, then gestured for the boys to crowd around her as it played. 
"Renowned neurochemist Dr. Tyler Rockwell has been reported missing. I spoke with Rockwell's colleague, Dr. Victor Falco."
The video then cut to an aging man who, honestly, looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. It was likely that it was because of stress regarding what happened to Rockwell, or maybe he just always looked like that. "I hadn't heard from him in days, so I stopped by his lab. The place was a mess and he was gone. I..." He let out a deep sigh at the thought. "...fear the worst."
"Police say they have-" Before the report could continue, Andi closed her laptop, and when Raph asked, "So?", she gave him a serious look. "So, the Kraang have been kidnapping scientists all over the city!" 
"Including my dad." April chimed in, making Andi nod in agreement. "Exactly, maybe that's what happened to this Dr. Rockwell."
"Or they may not be connected at all." Leo theorized, making the girl hum in acknowledgment. "Possibility, but we should go to that lab and look around. See if we can find any hints."
Immediately, Donnie stood up from his spot next to her. "Andi's right, we should go check it out." He agreed, then put his hand to his ear. "What's that? You guys are busy? Guess the girls and I are going then." He then started to lead the girls out of the lab when April stopped them, hiding a smirk.
Time for a little bit of matchmaker.
"Actually, I can't go either. Something came up last minute with my aunt and...I just can't go." When Andi frowned at her in confusion, April smiled back. "Don't worry about me, you two should totally go! Three's a crowd anyway!" As she watched Andi shrug in acceptance, she winked at Donnie when he gave her a grateful smile and an 'I owe you' over his shoulder. 
"Now, get going already!" She then pushed them out of the lab, making Andi break her confusion and huff out a laugh as she stumbled out - but gave a little smile to Donnie as he helped to stabilize her.
Turning back to the trio, April smiled proudly at them. "It's called, 'I'm on a mission to get the two of them together because Donnie's in love with her, and Andi probably doesn't know it yet, but she likely is too.'"
Leo snickered at her insistence. "Maybe you should've worked on this flowchart with him." He commented, turning over the stand so April could look at it - which she did with a chuckle. "I'm not that-"
She was then cut off by a small picture showing Andi holding a magnifying glass and looking for clues like a bona fide detective...while Donnie followed her, almost like a lovesick puppy. "-okay, how he was able to predict a mystery happening is beyond me, because that is weird..."
~
Before the pair knew it, they had made it to Rockwell's lab. Noticing the locked door, Donnie hummed in slight confusion as he took out a small device with a computer chip sticking out of the top, and after a small procedure (mostly hitting a few buttons on the device and then holding it up to the lock,) the door swung open. He smiled at Andi proudly. "There isn't an electronic lock out there my digital lock pick can't crack."
Andi shared his smile. "Impressive. Teach me how to make one sometime?" She then chuckled when he slightly stammered in saying "absolutely," and walked inside the decrepit lab.
Immediately, her mood changed from playful to serious as Donnie joined her and she held up a flashlight to look around. The lab looked completely disheveled; test tubes were missing from the rack, papers were strewn everywhere, a ceiling panel was close to falling...it looked like either Rockwell had a nervous breakdown and disappeared or someone had kidnapped him and ransacked his lab, likely looking for his work to steal. Important notes, a prototype...something. 
It made a cold shiver go up Andi's back. 
And clearly, Donnie agreed when he said with a grimace, "Wow, this place is a wreck..."
Looking to the left, they came across a busted cage - with an open door and the bars, amazingly, holding on with how bent they were. Regardless, the sight made Andi scoff with disgust. "He must've been experimenting on animals." She assumed, shaking her head. "You know, that's the one thing I despise about being a scientist. Animal testing is, like, the norm. I'm not a vegetarian or anything like that, but come on, now, that's just...ugh, all kinds of wrong." She ranted.
She was about to go further when Donnie pressed a finger to her lips and pointed to the chair in front of them, making her eyes widen. It didn't even look like a chair, it looked like a type of medieval torture device for the poor soul that was to be used in one of Rockwell's experiments. "What...? Why would he need that?"
"Either someone was up to some secret research, or they were renting space to one freaky dentist..." Donnie remarked, making Andi manage the faintest of smiles at the absurdity of that comment. Whether that was intentional or not, it was enough to make her smile - which she enjoyed in a place as cold and creepy as this.
Walking a little further, they came across Rockwell's desk - and save for some disheveled papers, a pencil, and a landline phone, it was completely empty. Donnie was the one to make it first, and after examining one (which appeared to be lab notes,) he hummed and handed it to Andi, then let her read it over as he went to search the drawers. He couldn't help but smile as she talked to herself as she read, saying things like, "What?" or "This guy had some weird ideas in his mind..."
Meanwhile, the first drawer Donnie searched had nothing but typical lab equipment - a journal, some empty containers, (weirdly enough) a box of matches - well, maybe that was in case a Bunsen burner wasn't working or something, Donnie figured. 
The second drawer was more interesting. On the top layer, there was nothing - but a faint green glow pulsated underneath the cover Rockwell had seemingly put over it - and upon raising the cover, Donnie gasped in shock - which got Andi's attention and made her do the same as she frantically put the paper down. 
"He had mutagen too?" She asked as she carefully picked up the canister. "This guy keeps getting more and more fascinating..."
But then a cold chill went through the air, making her look up and nearly yelp in fear as she put down the mutagen. Someone behind Donnie...and it looked like he had a weapon. "Don, behind you!"
Right as the unknown figure went to strike, Donnie's bo staff blocked the attack and turned the tables (quite literally as he spun the figure around) so that he was pinning the attacker down. 
Thankfully, Andi had found a light switch and flicked it on - and who the attacker was made her eyes widen again. "Wha-Dr. Falco?"
Upon seeing who (or rather, what) had him pinned down, Falco let out a scream. "What are you?!" 
"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you." Donnie assured him - which was a major paradox to the fact that he still had the man pinned down. 
And something that Falco pointed out with, "You already hurt me!"
"I mean, anymore." Donnie quickly added as he finally got off him and gave a little smile to Andi as she helped the man up. 
"Apologies for the break-in, sir. We saw the news report and figured we would try and help in finding out any clues." She politely explained, then smiled herself when Falco let out a sigh of relief. 
Now they were getting somewhere.
~
After Falco had gotten situated in the nearby desk chair, Andi and Donnie had gone on to explain what had been going on - specifically about scientists going missing in the city in the past few weeks, including Kirby - and how they believed that Rockwell was another victim. After they finished, Falco sighed and shook his head, deeply regretful that he couldn't give them any information. "I'm sorry, I wish I knew something about your friend's father, but I don't."
Andi nodded in understanding as Donnie held up the mutagen canister. "So what can you tell us about this?" The latter asked. 
That question, Falco had an answer to. "Some shady corporate goon paid Rockwell a lot of money to experiment with it." He told them, making Donnie and Andi look at each other and the latter pull up a picture on her phone. If this was the case, then this was absolutely a clue into Rockwell's disappearance.
"Is this what he looked like?" She asked, holding up a picture of a Kraangdroid in its human form. And Falco nodded in agreement, simply saying, "That's him."
"The Kraang!" Donnie exclaimed, more in shock than ever. Maybe Rockwell was working with them all along...or maybe after he proved to no longer be useful to the Kraang, they eliminated him? Who was to say?
Immediately, Falco cleared something up - something he knew must have been going on both of their minds since Rockwell was a colleague of his. "Well, I wanted no part of that stuff. Who knows what kind of...monstrosities could result?" He then realized how wrong that sounded (as if Andi's frown didn't give it away) and looked at Donnie. "No offense." He added quickly.
"Some taken." Donnie admitted, making her jump back into the questioning. "Is that what was in that cage over there? One of his..." She struggled to find a word to use that wasn't offensive, until she finally settled on something that sounded...well, better. "...experiments?"That made Donnie let out a quiet 'eh' and mutter, "Better than 'monstrosities,' I guess."
Andi gave him a look like 'I'd like to see you do better,' then turned back to Falco as he continued speaking and was now looking at the busted cage. "That's where he kept the monkey he was experimenting on." His voice had taken a more solemn approach, like he was recalling the experiments Rockwell would perform.
When the pair looked at the cage with sympathy, Donnie frowned. "Whoa, it sure didn't like being locked up in there." Andi nodded her head in agreement with a sad sigh. "Who would be?"
That was only proven further when Falco added, "Rockwell didn't treat it very well." His voice became a bit more gravelly this time, full of sorrow. It seemed like he had regrets about not putting an end to it sooner - which made Andi look at him in sympathy before her eyes got wide and she snapped up to look at Donnie.
"I just thought of something. Maybe the Kraang didn't take Dr. Rockwell. Maybe the monkey was finally driven insane, broke out of the cage, and dragged him off to get its revenge. It's dark, but it's a possible lead." She told him, making him nod in understanding. "It's entirely possible, the question is, how do we follow up on it?"
"We'll figure that out in due time." Andi told him, then smiled at Falco as he stood up, getting ready to leave. "Thank you for the insight, sir. You've given us a fantastic start on how we're gonna find Dr. Rockwell."
Falco gave her a similar polite smile, reaching up to shake her hand. "Anytime, Miss...um, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." When Andi told him, he nodded and shook her hand firmly. "Anytime, Miss Rhodes. I wish you all the best in finding him."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Donnie slip something into his belt, making her momentarily confused, but avert her gaze back to Falco so as not to draw any attention towards him. She let go of the scientist's hand and smiled graciously at him before walking back over to Donnie. "Let's go, Don." She gave him a confident smile (which he reciprocated ever so slightly) as he walked her out of the lab, holding the door for her on the way out.
Mission...for the most part, accomplished.
~
As they cut through an alley, Andi's mind was still swimming with questions about Falco and Rockwell's disappearance. "So how do you suppose we're gonna find Rockwell without having any idea of where he could be?" She asked Donnie, who only smiled at her. "Well, maybe we'll know once we take a look at his flash drive."
Andi looked at him confusedly - completely oblivious to the ominous figure jumping across the rooftops like it was hunting for them - but then smiled back as she realized what he was talking about. "Is that what you grabbed while I was talking to him?"
Donnie proudly grinned, displaying the blue flash drive from his belt. "Indeed it is."
Andi nodded, clearly impressed with him. "First the lock-picking device and now this...am I becoming friends with a criminal?" She teased, making Donnie laugh and shake his head. 
"Not yet you're not. Though it is worth noting that keeping cool under pressure is one of the cornerstones of-"
He was interrupted by that shadowy figure leaping in front of them - and by the furious growl it emitted, it was not happy to see them.
Andi internally groaned (of course she didn't bring her laser gun when she actually needed it,) but her eyes widened when Donnie put his arm out in front of her to shield her and drew his bo staff, looking as stern as ever. "Don, be careful! You know how dangerous an animal can be - especially a mutated one?!" She told him, her tone panicked. 
But Donnie didn't look phased - instead, he glanced at her with a steely, dangerous look in his eye. "That makes two of us then. Get somewhere safe, now."
Her breath hitched at that, her face felt hot (and was probably bright pink,) and her stomach began fluttering - and she didn't realize she was staring until Donnie yelled for her to run, which made her snap out of it and run to the corner of the nearest wall. 
Once he was sure she was safe, Donnie started to swing the bo staff around (likely in an attempt to intimidate the monkey,) but it didn't work as the gigantic creature gave a strong kick to his abdomen and sent him flying (and skidding onto his knees) and dropping his staff in the process, which it grabbed and promptly tossed it aside.
Seeing him already bruised and scuffed up made Andi's eyes widen. "Don, let me help you, you can't take this on by yourself!" She protested - and was about to run to his side until Donnie gently pushed her back to the wall. "No, I can handle it, promise." He assured her (though his voice was strained from the damage he had taken,) making her shake her head in disapproval as he jumped back into the fray.
He tried to charge at the monkey, but the latter was faster, jumping onto a fire escape and then proceeding to avoid every attack Donnie tried to throw with skillful dodging. It was like...he could read exactly what moves Donnie was about to perform - and respond with a proper dodge. 
Even when Donnie tried to get a strike in with three of his ninja stars, the monkey was still completely untouched - though much angrier. Immediately, he hit Donnie with a flurry of punches, making said recipient yelp in pain as he tried to fight him off to no avail. 
And Andi was getting even more scared at this point. Glancing at him from the corner, her heart broke as he started to look even more battered and bruised. She was still more than willing to join him - but she knew exactly what his answer would be. 
And he knew that as he stood up weakly to look at her, trying to assure her that he was okay. "I was just figuring out his timing. He is going to regret-"
As if by some type of irony, he was hit with another punch in the abdomen from the monkey, followed by quite a bit more - as well as an uppercut to the chin, all while he was trying to convince Andi that everything was fine...even if it wasn't, obviously. "Ow! That-that too! Ow, and that! Got a lot of regrets, monkey!" Eventually, the monkey had had enough of what appeared to be Donnie's shenanigans and latched onto his face, before kicking him onto his shell. 
And when Donnie opened his eyes, his face melted into shock as the monkey leaped into the air, seemingly about to finish him off. 
~
Okay, now Andi needed to do something. 
The monkey was now on top of Donnie and hammering his fists into his head, all while the latter was trying fruitlessly to dodge it and yelling for it to stop. "Hey, come on! Ow!"
And suddenly, an idea hit her. 
She remembered reading about this both in school and on her own, and admittedly, had wanted to see if it was as effective as countless movie scenes had shown it to be. Though, that was against humans, not a gigantic, mutated monkey...
Well, couldn't hurt to try.
Taking a breath, she ran behind the monkey and pinched its neck, right below the chin - hard enough to stifle the blood flow to its brain, but not enough to cause any serious nerve damage. And sure enough, the monkey twitched for a moment, then became unconscious as Andi laid him on the ground.
"He should be awake in a few minutes." She mumbled, but her professional attitude wore off quickly and was replaced by fear as she ran over to Donnie, examining all of the damage on his body. She assumed he didn't break an arm or a foot, but he did have a lot of bruising and probably some type of head trauma. 
"How did you do that...?" He muttered weakly as she cradled his throbbing head. 
Andi held up her other hand, pinching her index finger and thumb together. "Just pinched the vagus nerve and temporarily stopped the blood flow to his brain. It should be effective for a few minutes." She then shook her head to end her rant as he lifted his arm pitifully, making her take his hand to ease some of the stress. "But enough about that. On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad does it feel?"
On any other day, Donnie would've been smiling (and probably blushing) at how nurturing and doctor-like she was being. But of course, today was the day he got beaten to a pulp and utterly humiliated himself in front of the girl he was crushing on. 
Go figure.
"Er, probably a 9..." Donnie managed, letting out a groan as he tried to sit himself up. "Along with my pride, I think he ruptured some type of internal organ..."
Rolling her eyes fondly at the beginning, Andi helped him up (and was privy to the pained moan he let out.) "I'll treat you when we get back to the lair." She promised him, already starting to walk him back.
This was definitely going to be interesting to explain to the boys.
~
Finally, they were walking inside the lair, Andi still propping Donnie up as he now had an arm around her for extra support. "You're almost there, just a few more steps..." She whispered to him. "Then you can rest on the couch and I'll start treating these." She softly added. 
If he wasn't in even more pain from walking, he would've been giving her the sweetest smile he could muster for her doing this for him. 
Once Mikey caught a glimpse of the two of them, his eyes widened from fear as he gestured for Leo and Raph to follow him, with the red-masked turtle asking once they saw the pair, "Whoa, what happened?"
Andi sighed sadly as Donnie held his head, the intense pain making him think it was the work of an upcoming concussion. "Long story, but the concise version: Don suffered the blunt force of a lab monkey that must've escaped Rockwell's lab."
The trio exchanged concerned looks as Leo walked over to them, taking the stress off Andi by propping up Donnie himself. "Andi, can you get an ice pack?" He requested, and once Andi nodded and left for the kitchen, he walked Donnie over to the couch so he could rest - but not without the girl calling from the kitchen, "Make sure his legs are above his heart, it's important for the blood flow and reduces the risk of swelling!"
Leo did what she suggested, resting his younger brother's head on a throw pillow and grabbing the other pillow on the couch to rest his legs underneath. And once Donnie was resting as comfortably as possible (well, that wasn't easy considering how much pain he was in,) the leader asked, "Donnie, are you gonna be okay?"
Through his pained groans, Donnie managed out a, "Yeah...yeah, I'll be fine..."
"Then, in that case-"
Almost like it was confirmation, Leo, Raph, and Mikey started laughing - all while Donnie's eyes shrunk from embarrassment. Yes, it was humiliating, but did the others really need to rub it in his face about it?
Through his laughter, Raph decided to ask for confirmation of how absurd the story was. "Y-You got beaten up by a monkey? In front of your girlfriend?!"
Donnie managed a weak scowl at them. "She's not my girlfriend! And that monkey was a vicious mutant!" 
Still seeing the humor and absurdity of it all, the boys continued to laugh and joke about it. "Yeah, I'm sure he went bananas!" Leo joked, making all three of them laugh harder. "Oh, no, no, no! He went ape!"
That made Mikey fall onto his shell from laughter while Leo and Raph fell to soft belly laughter - which only stopped as Andi was walking out of the kitchen with an ice pack and a scowl at their behavior. At that, Raph made a 'cut it out' motion with his hand as Andi stared them down, with the red-masked turtle only adding, "No more monkey puns."
She first added another pillow underneath Donnie's legs, then rested his head on her lap as she placed the ice pack directly on his head - the same spot that Donnie was holding as they walked back to the lair. "Joke all you want, guys, but he saved me. If he weren't there, I wouldn't have made it back here alive." She told them seriously, not noticing the admiring smile the purple-masked turtle was giving her. 
Beautiful, attentive, and willing to stand up for him...it was moments like these that made Donnie remember why he had such a crush on her in the first place.
But of course, Mikey had to ruin it. "Yeah, but it's just funny that he saved you from a monkey!" He started to laugh again at the circumstances, and when she caught Leo and Raph snickering again, Andi huffed and rolled her eyes. Clearly, they weren't listening to her spiel if that was still what they retained from it. 
"You guys are idiots."
~
The next day found a newly recovered Donnie (though he was still in a bit of pain) kneeling in front of the wading pool - and lamenting over how badly he messed up when fighting the monkey. "I just don't get it. I mean, I'm a highly trained martial artist, how could I lose to something so mindless?" He muttered to himself, splashing the water that had shown his face. And in front of Andi, too...he felt like a gigantic failure, just like when Metalhead-er, rather, Engelberger, blew up in their faces.
Sensing his son's frustration, Splinter walked over to him. "You are very intelligent." He began, getting Donnie's attention and making him look up at him. "But in a fight, you cannot be up here." He emphasized, placing a finger on his temple to further his point. 
Now confused, Donnie stood up to face him. "But I just don't understand how you can fight without thinking." He said again, recalling the sparring match between him and Mikey that brought up this conversation in the first place. 
Speaking of Mikey, as he walked past them, listening to some music on some over-ear headphones and being in the zone, Splinter got an idea. "Observe."
As Mikey started to dance about to the music, he effortlessly dodged a punch from Splinter, then did a perfect back flip as Splinter tried to strike again and then stopped a final punch from occurring - all without removing the headphones. He was still too in the zone to notice Donnie's stunned stare at him. 
"You see?" Splinter rhetorically told him, gesturing to Mikey, who had since removed his headphones so he could hear what Splinter was saying. "Michelangelo does not think."
Still in the zone, Mikey dreamily replied with, "Thank you..." Splinter gave him an amused "you're welcome" before catching his son off guard by whipping his tail against Mikey's feet, sending him flying into the beanbag chair resting against the wall and his headphones landing next to him.
"You must find the space between your thoughts and learn to live there. That's what Michelangelo does." Splinter went back to advising Donnie, gesturing to his youngest son still lounging against the chair and slightly groaning in pain. 
But Donnie still took fault with that line of reasoning. "True, but Mikey's got a lot more space between his thoughts than I do."
As if to confirm Donnie's logic, when his hands were scouring the wall, Mikey cheered, "Ooh, pepperoni!" before proceeding to eat said topping...right after it had been on the wall for who knows how long. 
Gross. 
"Yes, well..." Splinter hesitantly agreed, but still found another way to make this a learning moment. "Michelangelo has his challenges too." 
And while it was true (if anything, Mikey had the opposite problem that Donnie had,) it still didn't entirely click with the resident genius.
Maybe if it happened in battle, he would understand. 
~
Later on, the girls were reading some of the notes from the flash drive on Andi's computer - and one of the pieces of text made their eyes widen and look at the boys. "Guys,  I think we just made a breakthrough!" April exclaimed, getting the attention of Leo and Mikey sparring and Donnie putting the final touches on a new invention.
When the trio gathered around them, Raph put his comic down as Andi typed in a few codes, prompting the notes to appear on her screen and scroll on their own. "These notes are a bit hard to follow, apparently Rockwell enjoyed writing his notes and then translating them to binary code, but from what I could translate, it looks like he was able to modify the mutagen." She then looked directly at Donnie. "Probably why we found that canister in his drawer."
"Why would he do that?" Leo asked, making Andi go back to her computer and bring up multiple images Rockwell had included in his notes, ranging from a syringe injecting a chemical into a man's head to said man's head emitting psychic rays.
April decided to fill in the gaps for her as the genius continued to translate more notes. "He thought he could use it to create a type of neurochemical that could temporarily give someone psychic abilities."
"You mean that monkey was psychic?" Raph asked as he went back to reading his comic, making Andi shake her head and stop translating notes - only to roll her eyes as she saw that Raph was likely not even paying attention. 
"Not really, more like he was reading our emotions. Chances are, if I came into contact with him, I may not have been killed, since I was more scared out of my wits. Meanwhile, Don was...for lack of a better word, hostile with him, so the monkey responded accordingly." Andi explained, managing a little smile when Donnie gave her a slightly deadpan look, clearly still bitter about being defeated. 
"Yeah, well, next time I'll be sure to think friendly thoughts when I'm beatin' a little sunshine into him." Donnie replied as he hit his fist against his open palm, making Andi snicker at the wording, before shaking her head and closing her laptop. 
"Okay, we need to track him down before he hurts someone else." Leo told them. "Let's go up the surface, spread out, and search."
But Raph had a legitimate question - and his comic had long since been abandoned. "How are we gonna stay in contact?"
"I have a little something that might help." Donnie proudly announced, standing up in front of his brothers and the girls. "Gentlemen, and ladies-" That earned curious looks and smiles from Andi and April. "-I give you, the tPhone!" He exclaimed, holding a shell-shaped cell phone with what looked like a normal touch screen on a smartphone. The buttons on the screen looked simple enough that the boys, who had next to no experience with modern technology like a smartphone (well, except for Donnie, obviously), could use it without question. 
It was brilliant. 
But there was one small complaint that Mikey had with the tPhone. "Dude, I'm in charge of namin' stuff! I would've called it-" He then waved his hand for dramatic effect, a proud smile on his face. "-the tPhone."
Donnie gave him a confused look as he glanced at the phone. "I did call it the tPhone."
"Yeah, but I would've called it the tPhone..." Mikey mumbled, his tone becoming more despondent at the feeling of his idea being "stolen" from him. However, he was immediately stopped from moping when Raph hit him across the head, making him let out an "ow!"
"And girls," Donnie walked up to them with a bright smile, holding out the phone in front of him. "If you give me your cell numbers, I can patch you guys into our network?" He offered, making Andi give him a curious smirk as she took the phone first. 
"As long as you don't track my history, hack my files or corrupt my data, professor, we're good to go." She teased as she put her name and number into the phone, completely oblivious to the scarlet hue that was now on Donnie's face at the new name and the knowing smile April was giving him.
"U-Uh, wouldn't dream of it."
Andi's smirk melted into a smile as she handed the phone to April. "Glad to hear that." She then realized something as the latter handed the phone back to Donnie. "Oh, wait, um...I've got to get my gun from my apartment. Can I start my search from there?"
April smiled at the idea. "I'll go with you. Don't want you going alone with a gigantic monkey on the loose." She offered, making Andi smile back at her and nod. 
As the girls got up to leave, they didn't notice Donnie bragging to Raph in a whisper, "See that? I got her number!"
But Raph shook his head at the absurdity - and decided to rain on his parade on top of it. "Her number's on the fridge, you dork - hers and April's."
And as Donnie scowled at him, his eyes told him one thing: It was the principle that mattered.
~
Now they were all scanning the streets - the boys perched on rooftops and keeping watch like hawks while the girls walked along the sidewalks, currently on Bleecker Avenue.
Andi's laser gun was hidden under her dress, strapped to her thigh by a garter belt - the last thing she wanted was for the police to spot her with a weapon and arrest her for illegally carrying. She and April were holding their phones to use as walkie-talkies with the boys, just in case any of them heard any chatter - or better yet, saw the monkey themselves. 
And while the latter wasn't the case, they did overhear a middle-aged man muttering to himself as he walked home with grocery bags, "Can't believe it, a monkey! Must've escaped from the zoo or somethin'...they really ought to get on that, 'cause if that's what our tax dollars are goin' towards..."
The girls shared a shocked look as Andi held her phone up, her light pink case with roses on full display. "Guys! Someone just spotted the monkey on Bleecker!" She spoke into it, immediately getting a response from Raph. 
"I think I'm on his trail, shortcake."
Before she could respond to the nickname, he leaped into action, jumping onto an adjacent rooftop with a flip. He then ran to the edge to get a better look and hummed in satisfaction. "I got eyes on him." He spoke into the makeshift walkie-talkie on the tPhone. "He's headed south on Delancey."
"I'm on Houston, I'll cut him off!" Donnie responded, and after rolling his eyes at Andi's quip of "let's avoid another incident, Don," he crossed rooftops in hopes of keeping up with the monkey - but when he got to the last one on the block, he stared in confusion at the empty street. "Where'd he go?"
He didn't notice the monkey hiding behind the corner store on the next block over, before changing direction and running down Eastman. Which, thankfully, caught Leo's attention. "He changed direction." He reported into the walkie-talkie - then remembered that Mikey had perched himself on the next street, Brigham. "Mikey, the monkey is headed your way!"
It was a relief that he made that call, because Mikey was in the middle of playing Meteoroids and was completely distracted - until Leo got his attention. And upon seeing the monkey run past him, he jumped into action. "I'm on it!" He grabbed his skateboard and threw it onto the empty street, before jumping on it and chasing the monkey. He swung his kusarigama chain, but it proved fruitless as the monkey quickly changed direction, causing it to latch onto a nearby lamppost.
Which, in turn, caused Mikey to scream and crash headfirst into it.
Seeing Mikey effectively taken out of the game made Raph spring back into action. Crossing a final roof, he jumped down from the fire escape and chased after the monkey, doing the same thing he did; jumping over walls and following the same path he did.
Eventually, Leo caught on to the monkey's path, following Raph's idea of jumping off the fire escape and running onto the street to join with his red-masked brother. 
Meanwhile, Mikey was gliding along casually on his skateboard, running into the monkey with a "whoa!" and an irritated "watch it!"
But then he remembered what their mission was and skated after him, skating across the patio of a building and grinding on the railing - before meeting up with his brothers and the girls while the monkey was gone.
"Anybody see where he went?" Leo asked in a confused tone, to which Donnie replied while gesturing to the left, "I thought he headed in that direction."
Raph immediately disagreed with, "I thought it was that way!" He said this as he pointed to the right - the exact opposite as Donnie.
That prompted the trio to break into an argument, while Mikey started trying to get the monkey's attention like it was a lost pet. "Here, monkey, monkey, monkey!"
Andi shook her head in exasperation, but stopped when April nudged her shoulder and started walking to the south, to a lone dumpster that had been making some weird rustling sounds, like...
Like there was a creature inside. 
That made Andi follow her, getting her gun from under her dress just in case of an emergency. She did not want to go through what she went through with Donnie before...
But then again, if a monkey that could read emotions and respond accordingly saw that she had a laser gun...well, things would probably go worse than what happened with Donnie. 
Better safe than sorry though.
Opening the dumpster lid, April peeked inside, then stared in shock as there was the monkey, curled up in the fetal position and frantically hooting, clearly scared out of his wits. "Andi, look!" She whispered, and when her best friend saw the heartbreaking scene, she put her gun away and stared down in sympathy. "Poor thing...let's get him out of there."
April agreed, giving the scared creature a reassuring smile as she offered him a hand out of the dumpster.
The monkey was clearly hesitant at first, but when he saw the look of kindness in April's cerulean eyes and Andi's comforting whisper of "It's okay, you can trust us, we're not gonna hurt you," he caved. Taking April's hand, he stepped out of the dumpster and stared at the two girls, almost like he wanted to thank them for being so kind to him. 
Until Mikey's kusarigama chain came flying in from out of nowhere and wrapped itself around the monkey, making April gasp in shock and Andi yelp, before glaring at the youngest turtle. "We were making progress, you guys!" She yelled at them. 
As if to reflect her anger (and to express his own,) the monkey started to thrash and howl in anger again, fighting against the chain in a desperate attempt to break free. 
"Gotcha that time." Mikey smiled in satisfaction, completely ignoring the annoyed look on Andi's face at being interrupted and prompting the monkey to lash out again.
"Great, we got the monkey. But we're still not any closer to finding Dr. Rockwell." Raph commented as the girls started to move closer to him, in an attempt to calm him down. When he yelled in both pain and rage, showing his razor-like teeth, both girls flinched (with Andi even reaching for her gun again,) but stopped when the monkey's eyes sunk back into place and he calmed down. 
Something wasn't right, and they could tell. 
"Thinking what I'm thinking?" Andi whispered to her, and when April nodded in agreement, she continued to look into the monkey's now dilated pupils. "Actually, we're a lot closer than you think." The redhead remarked to answer Raph's earlier comment.
"What? How?" Donnie asked, now more confused than ever. 
Andi sighed to herself as she lightly brushed the top of the monkey's head in a bid to soothe him further. "This monkey is Dr. Rockwell." She suggested sadly. "He must've been...mutated somehow."
And when the monkey didn't struggle or give any kind of protest, she knew she was on the right track.
This just opened a whole new can of worms.
~
Instead of letting Rockwell roam the streets, they decided to take him to the safest place they could think of - Falco's lab. 
Strapped down, Rockwell thrashed about and tried to escape from his bonds, until Falco injected him with a sedative. At that, his pupils became dilated again and his eyes drooped shut, until he was peacefully sleeping in the chair. 
"There." Falco breathed a sigh of relief as he discarded the used needle, then moved to stand behind the sleeping monkey. "That should calm him down a little. Poor Rockwell." He mused, shaking his head in sadness. 
"Is there any way to get him back to normal, sir?" Andi asked with concern. "Any type of serum or...or retro-mutagen?"
Falco sighed again, this time with disappointment, as he shook his head. "Unfortunately, Miss Rhodes, I wouldn't even know where to begin."
That made Andi frown. If Falco was Rockwell's colleague and the latter had been able to modify the mutagen so effortlessly, surely they would be able to come up with at least ideas of how to turn someone back into a human after coming into contact with mutagen?
As if he was sensing her confusion, Falco immediately followed up on his previous comment. "But I'll see if I can give him some semblance of a normal life."
"But, sir, why not start researching a possible solution instead of leaving Rockwell like this?" Andi asked with confusion. "I mean, you're a brilliant scientist, surely you can come up with a solution for your-" 
She was promptly interrupted by Falco giving her an icy stare - the same stare her mother used to give her - making her look down in submission. "I'm well aware of what I'm doing, Miss Rhodes. I understand you're a scientist yourself, so I would appreciate it if you respected what I choose to do."
"Yes, sir." Andi mumbled to herself, making April put a comforting hand on her back. When Falco seemed pleased with her answer and turned back around, her head shot back up as she realized something. 
"I understand you're a scientist yourself."
'How did he know I was a scientist?' She mouthed to Donnie, her eyes wide.
~
Now they were back in the lair, waiting for Raph to return with dinner. Leo was searching for plates, April was sitting on a stool quietly, Donnie and Andi were reviewing more of Rockwell's notes, and Mikey was the only source of noise as he continued playing Meteoroids on his tPhone. "Man, this asteroid field is tough! I just can't beat it!"
Thankfully, Raph provided some news as he walked in, holding a pizza box like the stereotypical pizza guy would. "Pizza's here!"
Surprisingly enough, that didn't strike the youngest's attention as expected. He must've been so engrossed in his game to not notice Leo taking two slices of pizza and putting them on plates, before handing one to April (making her smile in gratitude) and taking the other for himself.
But the scent got to him immediately, and his brain started to shout one thing: 'EAT PIZZA.' And considering he wasn't the most strong-willed turtle of the bunch, he was so tempted to eat all of it...but he really wanted to finish the level. "Must eat pizza, but can't stop playing, but must eat pizza, but can't stop playing, but must eat pizza!" It was the ultimate stalemate for him; pause the level and eat a slice? Or wait to finish the level and likely have the pie be gone before he could even eat?
Wait...he could do both at the same time!
And he did, slamming his face in the pie and eating a slice without putting down his tPhone. It would've been impressive if it wasn't so gross.
As they watched the charade incredulously, Leo decided to address something that had to have been on April's mind. "Sorry we couldn't get any closer to finding your dad, April."
"It's okay." April assured him, putting a hand up to tell him he didn't need to apologize. "Everything we learn about the Kraang is another step of the puzzle."
"Yeah, but psychic research?" Leo rhetorically asked, putting a hand to his chin to think. "This is one weird puzzle."
"I'm curious, April." Splinter interjected, holding a plate with a slice for himself. "How did you and Andromeda know that the monkey was really a human?"
That made April smile to herself as she glanced over at Andi - too lost in thought to acknowledge her. "Well, Andi's smart, so she must've noticed something with his anatomy - like how his eyes dilated when he calmed down, like a normal person-" She then realized how wrong that sounded. "-er, or mutant does." When it came to her, she let out a little puff of air and shook her head. "As for me, well...I don't really know. Sometimes I just get a feeling about things."
"A feeling?" Splinter asked, his interest now piqued as he began to walk away. "Interesting." He started to get an idea about something...something that could help her hone in on that "feeling" she was talking about - and maybe even learn what it was. 
As the duo went back to eating, Leo glanced over at Andi and Donnie - they still hadn't eaten, their noses buried in files ever since they had come back from bringing Rockwell to Falco. "Uh, Donnie, Andi? Why aren't you guys eating?"
Andi only shook her head as she finished reading the contents of a document. "Uh, I'm good, Leo."
"Same here, I'm not hungry." Donnie quickly replied. "Something's been bothering me. Falco said Rockwell was experimenting on a monkey." 
Andi nodded, backing him up. "And he said that he wasn't kind to it, that's why there was a busted-up cage in there."
"And?" Leo asked, not entirely understanding where the pair was coming from. 
"Well, according to these notes, he never had a monkey in his lab. He was using samples of monkey DNA."
"We're still not following you." Leo admitted.
"If he never had a monkey, what broke out of that cage?" Donnie asked in response, making Andi gasp as the realization hit her. 
But Raph beat her to it. "Must've been Rockwell!"
And Donnie decided to deliver the realization in full. "Which means Falco put him there and he's been lying this whole time!"
Now Andi was starting to get mad - if there was one thing she hated, it was being deceived. "That no-good, lying son of a-"
But then she realized something else - something she had been wondering ever since they had gotten back to the lair. "Which also means that the psychic powers Rockwell was trying to create...Falco must've stolen them! That's how he knew I was a scientist!"   
~
The weather must've seen exactly what was happening, as now there was a heavy storm and even some thunder and lightning.
A still-unconscious Rockwell had been startled awake by Falco injecting yet another serum into his head, making him thrash and roar in pain and fury at his supposed friend and colleague. As he continued to resist, Falco brushed off the mutant's clear pain with a sadistic smile. "Oh, stop struggling, Tyler. You were always so dramatic."
Rockwell's pain was finally ended as Falco removed the needle, staring at the mutagen-laced blood with a delighted grin. If this worked like he thought it would...
After he injected it into his neck, his eyes became bloodshot as he laughed like a classic mad scientist. He had done it! He was officially psychic, no one could step to him if he knew their every move! 
Well, the boys opted to challenge that assumption with Leo yelling, "Alright, Falco! We've had enough of your-"
As if he knew what his older brother would say, Raph immediately cut him off with, "Do not say 'monkeying around.'" 
Leo immediately replied with, "I wasn't going to." But Falco decided to show off his newfound psychic abilities by smartly replying, "Yes, you were."
Donnie quietly gasped to himself at that - just what Andi had predicted. But as he stepped into view, the anger (and admittedly, disgust for Falco's practices) boiled to the surface. "It's over, Falco! We know it was you who mutated Rockwell! All just to steal his psychic serum!"
Falco gave them a smirk. So they figured it out after all. "I used him as a guinea pig." He casually explained, giving a side-eye to the unmoving and unconscious Rockwell.
But Mikey didn't necessarily pick up on the metaphor Falco had used - and took it literally. "Well, it didn't work! You turned him into a monkey." That earned him a side-eye from both Donnie and Leo. 
Falco ignored the blatant error, deciding to spell out his plan - once again, like a mad scientist. "The psychic neurochemical I extracted from his mutant brain is changing me. Your minds are opening up to me!"
Donnie glared daggers at him. "That's why you shut Andi down before - you knew what she was thinking and was starting to suspect you. She was right, wasn't she? That you wanted the chemical for yourself?"
The crazed man only sneered at him. "Andromeda Rhodes is smarter than I gave her credit for. But if only to humor you, I'll confirm it - of course. After all, no man can defeat you when you know his every thought."
Raph decided to challenge that assertion. "Oh, really? Then you must know I'm gonna smack-"
But Falco only replied with, "-smack the white off my lab coat?" He then laughed arrogantly and shook his head at the threat. "How humorous."
As Leo and Donnie only looked more intense and Mikey was staring in awe at Raph at how effortlessly Falco knew that, Raph growled. "Lucky guess!" He then jumped into battle, charging at Falco with a fierce battle cry.
Immediately, Falco started to play dirty - his psychic abilities activated, and he could see everything Raph was about to do. Charge him, then perform a spinning back-kick. 
'Child's play,' he thought as he effortlessly dodged the attack, his cocky smirk still on full display.
"What?" Raph asked, now more confused than ever. So not only could he read their thoughts perfectly...he could predict what they were about to hit him with? How unfair was that?
Falco only continued to taunt him, making a 'come hither' motion with his finger - daring Raph to try again.
And the latter did, trying different attacks this time; a smaller spinning back-kick, followed by a set of punches, and all leading up to an intense glare as Raph still hadn't managed to get any hits on him. 
This was starting to get ridiculous.
And Falco knew that as he chuckled with an arrogant overtone and tutted at how simple Raph's attacks were. That only fueled the red-masked turtle further as he tried another back-kick, but once again, Falco dodged with ease.
But this time, he had a plan. He grabbed Raph's sai from his belt and hit him with the butt of it directly in the forehead, sending the turtle onto the floor in mere seconds. He then followed it up with a strong kick to the abdomen, sending Raph bouncing across the floor and colliding with Mikey and Donnie, sending the pair onto the floor as well.
Thankfully, Leo jumped into the fray, but the 'shing' of his katana caught Falco's attention - right as the eldest was about to land a hit, Falco dodged easily - and did the same as Leo swung the katana fervently, desperately trying to get any kind of attack on him.
Still recovering from getting knocked onto the floor, Mikey caught a glimpse of Leo and Falco fighting - or rather, Leo trying to fight and Falco avoiding every attack. "Whoa! It's like he's psychic!" He commented as Donnie stood from the floor, holding his head to ease some of the pain. He still wasn't entirely over the concussion yet - so his head was still more sensitive than usual.
But hearing Mikey's absurd comment made him side-eye his little brother again. "He is psychic, shell-brain! Andi suspected he was, and he just confirmed it!"
"Oh, yeah." Mikey sheepishly laughed. "I kinda tuned out when he did his whole 'I'm evil, blah blah blah' thing." He explained, exaggerated facial expressions included when he described what he retained from Falco's reveal. "And uh, wasn't really listening when Andi started thinkin' he was a bad dude." That only earned him an eye roll from Donnie at the charade.
Meanwhile, Leo was still failing at getting any attacks on Falco - no matter what he tried, the man just always managed to dodge it, and all with that same arrogant look on his face. Until finally, he decided to play dirty again - he used Raph's sai to block a swing from Leo's katana, then easily swung the pair of swords towards Donnie and Mikey, who leaped out of the way to avoid being impaled. Helpless, Leo was met with Falco hitting him the same way Raph was hit - the butt of his katana got him in the forehead. 
This was not going well. 
"How are we gonna defeat him if he can read our minds?" Donnie asked. They were essentially between a rock and a hard place - either fight him and end up like Raph and Leo, or surrender and let him walk free - potentially allowing him to hurt Andi as well.
Thankfully, it seemed like Mikey had a solid solution. "No prob, I'm good at this! I just have to fight without thinking." But in a true ironic twist, he inherited Donnie's issue - overthinking. "Wait a minute...how do I fight without thinking?!" Then he started to panic. "Oh no! Now I'm thinking about not thinking!"
But his tirade was short-lived as Falco hit him in the head with the butt of Raph's sai, bringing him to the ground as well.
Now it was just Donnie.
Still holding Raph's sai, Falco started to walk towards him intimidatingly. "A man who can read minds is unstoppable. Once I dispose of you and Andromeda, no one will be able to stand in my way."
At the threat towards Andi, Donnie's eyes got steely and cold again as he unsheathed his bo staff. "We'll see about that." He merely replied, before charging just like Raph did. 
But unfortunately, Falco played dirty again - his psychic skill emerging as he could see Donnie's every move. He would swing the staff a bit, jump and strike - so he only needed to dodge to the left to avoid it completely. When he saw that the turtle would try and follow up with more strikes, he only moved to the right and then dodged downward - still as unphased and cool as ever.
Then he tossed Raph's sai towards Donnie, who swatted it aside and continued to stare the man down - before jabbing the staff towards him. 
But Falco saw it as a golden opportunity, grabbing it and using it to swing Donnie directly into the wall, making him land on the ground and groan in pain. 
Believing that he was victorious, Falco decided to taunt Donnie - though instead of with gestures, he chose words. "I really must admire that complex brain of yours, you come up with so many ideas." He then chortled to himself. "Too bad I can see them all coming." He then decided to rub salt in the wound a bit more by adding, "By the way, I find your hopes of Andromeda actually reciprocating your feelings laughable. You do realize she only sees you as a friend, right?"
That got him another glare from Donnie - though not as intense as when he threatened her life earlier.
But then he started to focus. He squeezed his eyes shut and whispered to himself, "I can do this. Just have to fight without thinking. No thinking, no thinking..."
He imagined all of his attacks leaving his body and mind and proving fruitless against Falco, making him laugh as he could see them all coming.
But that confidence faded when Donnie only whispered, "Don't think. Just do."
And following that logic, he charged - mirroring Falco's smug smile. 
The man was, admittedly, caught off guard by that, and desperately tried to see through Donnie and see what he would do. 
But it didn't work.
Donnie kept running towards him and eventually started attacking. A high spinning back-kick that slammed Falco into the wall, followed by a light kick to the kneecaps that tripped the mad scientist up. Then a strong uppercut to the jaw, a strong side-kick to the back (that would probably cause some type of spinal damage) that made Falco collide with a nearby desk, then a graceful backflip when Falco tried to strike. 
Mikey was going to have a field day with that.
Landing on the wall, Donnie gave the final blow; spinning his body like a torpedo, he delivered a flurry of punches with such quick succession that Falco was completely powerless - and caused him to end up unconscious and stuck in a vent, his psychic powers failing him as he groaned.
He had failed.
As Donnie breathed a sigh of relief and put his staff away, Raph decided to give credit where credit was due. "Wow, Donnie, nice work!"
But as predicted, Mikey decided to bring up the elephant in the room as he held a canister of mutagen. "What'd I tell you about those backflips, huh? Pretty cool!"
Donnie rolled his eyes at that, but decided to focus on the bigger picture. "Now that we've got the ooze, let's see what Falco knows about the Kraang." He suggested - but when they looked at the vent, they gasped.
He was gone.
But rather than go searching for him, they glanced over to see Rockwell conscious and struggling, his eyes begging them to let him go. "What do we do about him?" Mikey asked, a concerned look in his eye. 
Donnie decided to oblige the request, though, loosening the restraints on Rockwell's wrists enough so that he could slip out of them with no issue. And immediately, Rockwel leaped for the window, but turned around to look at them, a calm and humane look in his eye. 
The same look he gave Andi and April for helping him out of the dumpster.
And Donnie picked up on that as he started to smile a bit. "I'm no psychic, but I think he's trying to thank us."
Rockwell let out a little hoot (like it was agreement to what he assumed,) before leaping out of the window, running free into the New York night.
But Raph noticed the massive issue in allowing him to roam free. "Uh, if he reacts to angry thoughts, is New York City really the best place for him?" He had a point there; considering they had lived in the city for their entire lives, they were no strangers to an angry New York citizen. Heck, they had seen Andi angry when she found out Falco had been lying to them. 
Not to mention Donnie had gotten beaten up to a pulp with how hostile he was beforehand, even if he was protecting Andi.
And the red-masked turtle's point was proven even further as a car horn was heard, followed by the angry voice of a man. "Hey, monkey! Get outta the-"
But his tirade was interrupted by what sounded like Rockwell committing hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars worth of property damage (as well as at least one car accident) and panicked screaming from both the man and other patrons.
Sensing the gravity of the situation, Leo gave his brothers a forced, awkward smile. "Uh, I'm sure he'll be okay."
But the look in all of their eyes said that they had to book it back to the sewers, before someone had a heart attack from seeing both a rampaging monkey and four mutant turtles.
Ah, well. All in a day's work, they supposed?
~
Now that the boys were home safe and sound, Splinter opted to call the girls into the dojo. And once the pair were seated comfortably, Splinter directed his attention to April first.
"April, it seems that you have a rare gift. A sensitivity that I have trained my entire life to develop." 
Andi's eyes widened at that. But...it made sense. For as long as they were friends, April had always had "feelings" about...well, anything. She tended to assume that April just had better intuition than her, which balanced out her tendency to overthink and be avoidant. She was the brain, April was the impulse. 
To hear that it was a gift, though...it made complete sense.
When she looked at April, the latter looked sympathetic rather than surprised. "Don't worry, you'll get it."
Andi smiled at the rare moment of naivety, while Splinter didn't look amused. "I did, it just took me a long time."
Another naïve moment from April as she replied, "That's nothing to be ashamed of."
That made Andi shake her head and turn to face April. "April, the point is, you have an amazing gift. You can sense things that not a lot of other people can do without intense training."
Splinter nodded, admittedly grateful that she was here to guide the conversation back to where he wanted it to go. "Indeed. And what I am trying to say is that I would like to train you to be a Kunoichi, a female ninja."
That made Andi gasp and start to smile, while April's eyes widened this time and a gleam shone in her eye. "Wow, that's quite an honor!" The latter commented, than thought of something. "If I do this, does that mean I can kick everybody's butt?" The gleam was replaced by a determined sharpness and her fist was now clenched - and while it was meant to make her look intimidating, it only made Andi giggle to herself. "Focus, O'Neil." She commented.
Splinter subtly agreed with her. "We don't believe in using our abilities that way." He sternly told her, making April turn sheepish.
"Oh, oh, yeah! Me neither!" She hastily replied, but the gleam came back as she smiled to herself. "But I could, right?"
That made Splinter finally chuckle. "Yes." He confirmed, but his stoic demeanor came back immediately. "But I warn you, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. It will drain you mentally, physically and spiritually."
But April's carefree smile came back. "Well, it can't be worse than high school." She commented, making Andi affectionately roll her eyes and watch as her best friend went to leave the dojo. 
Right as she was about to follow, though, Splinter called her back to sit down, making her do so almost hastily.
"I would like to train you as well, Andromeda. You're very intelligent, and you have the spirit and determination that a Kunoichi would need."
Andi's breath hitched at that, but her mind started to weigh her options. Being a Kunoichi would be challenging, but it couldn't be as bad as what her past entailed.
She had gone through the wringer before; growing up feeling isolated and not being like other kids, losing her dad, her mom basically abandoning her...
If she wanted to, she could do it.
But the issue was, she didn't really want to. 
"I'm sorry, Master Splinter, but I'll have to decline that offer." At his surprised face, she decided to explain herself. "Science is my true talent, and it's my passion. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a scientist, and, frankly, I don't want to lose that dream because I decided to start training to become a Kunoichi. You said it yourself, it would drain me in more ways than one. If I started training to be a Kunoichi, I would stray from what I've wanted to do for so long now. And in good conscience, I can't do that."
Splinter hummed in disappointment, but he couldn't blame her. It was her decision at the end of the day, and he wasn't about to coerce her. "I understand. The offer is always available, should you change your mind."
Andi smiled softly at his assurance and bowed her head in appreciation. "Thank you, Master Splinter."
~
When she left the dojo, she was immediately met by April, who asked what Splinter wanted to talk to her about. When Andi told her the conversation and that she didn't take up the opportunity (and why,) the redhead hummed in understanding. 
"All right, all right. But you're gonna need to patch me up if I get hurt." She joked, making Andi snicker and nod in agreement. "Duly noted." She then remembered something. "Oh, hey, you want to-"
But before she could, Donnie interrupted her, standing against the doorway leading into the lab. "Hey, Andi, you wanna hang out tomorrow night?" 
And when she looked at him, her smile turned apologetic. "I'd love to, Don, but I can't. I've got to help April with her trig homework." She explained, gesturing to the named girl. 
But to Andi's surprise, April was smirking at the two of them and shaking her head. "What are you talking about? We have the whole weekend to get it done, we'll do it on Sunday! You two spend some time together and hang out."
Before Andi could ask any questions, she winked at Donnie (who was giving her the most appreciative look) and walked off, leaving the two of them alone. 
"O...kay, then?" Andi asked more than said, then found herself smiling at the purple-masked turtle. "I guess I'm all yours then."
Donnie's smile turned into a grin as he nodded excitedly. "It doesn't have to be anything major. We can just hang out in the lab, have some snacks, goof around..." He then got an idea that he knew she would like. "And maybe you can introduce me to that band you and April like? Salem's-"
"Salem's Witches? Of course!" Now Andi was grinning like he was. "I'll bring over my computer and play you my favorite album!"
He tried his hardest not to stare at how cute she was as he nodded again. "Sure, sounds good." He agreed, his smile becoming more calm and relaxed. He then watched as she walked away with an excited glint in her eye, his smile becoming more dorky again. 
"Yes!" He cheered to himself in a whisper. It wasn't a date or anything, but he just made plans to hang out with his crush - alone! No brothers to annoy them, no Kraang threat, no Foot Clan threat, nothing.
Just him and Andi.
He sighed dreamily at the thought as he turned around to walk into the lab, but was startled out of his daze by bumping into the flowchart that he had nearby in case he screwed up talking to her. At seeing it, though, he smiled to himself as he took it off the stand. 
"Maybe I don't need this stupid thing after all." He mumbled to himself as he rolled it up and carried it into the lab with him. 
He wasn't going to burn it or throw it away (he had spent way too much time creating it,) but who knows? Maybe he would need it in the future.
But right now, it wasn't necessary. 
Right now, he was going to focus on the now - and the now included the satisfaction of knowing that he could actually talk to Andi and make plans with her without coming off like a total idiot.
And for him, that was a complete and utter win.
~
Want to be tagged for future chapters or updates - or when I feel like being silly? Just let me know 🩷
@tinkabelle19 @android-cap-007 @kikithedreamerwriter @happymoonangel @raphsmuneca @eveandtheturtles @jasminarts01 @thelaundrybitch
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nachosncheezies · 4 months ago
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👻 What is your wildest headcanon?, 🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?, 💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?
:D HELLO AGAIN THURSDAY thank you for the ask! For this ask game!!
👻 What is your wildest headcanon?
Hahaha, I don't think I have any wild headcanons, though there are certainly people who would disagree. Some of my headcanons are things that are basically universal. Most of the others are fillers that bridge gaps in what's on screen or page. To me, none of those headcanons are wild, they're completely obvious and logical because they're the only way canon makes sense! Let's go with one side of my dual season 7/8 headcanons where I change from one interpretation to the other from day to day: Mulder's brain disease was a real thing, and he absolutely would hide it from Scully. People hate that one. xD
🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?
Sure! Here's from the [chronologically] next installment of what is apparently now a canon-complicit "married on a dare" au xD
This must be what they called "fast friends". His superiors might have intended her as a spy, but even as she dutifully submitted her little spy reports, he soon learned that her thirst for the truth was a close parallel to his own and her integrity was unmatched. Much to his dismay, he found he really, really liked her. Worse, after just a handful of cases, he really, really trusted her. And the more he got to know her, the less he thought about their bet or its implications, until even his eidetic memory had nearly forgotten. She more than held her own in the boys' club that was federal law enforcement. She was tough; too smart for her own good and she knew it. Punchy, mouthy, and a little bit of a brat. She gave him a run for his money on almost every subject. She got her hackles up like a furious little guard puppy anytime someone other than her dared try to mess with him. And she followed him everywhere, even on the increasingly rare occasions that he didn't really want her to.  Samantha would love her, he thought. They'd be two peas in a pod. He'd never get a moment's peace again, and he would love every minute of it.
💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?
Aaaaaangggsssttttt! Sooo muuuuch aaaaaaaaannngggssstttttt! (You'll never BELIEVE the fluff I spat out yesterday though. *I* don't believe the fluff I spat out yesterday.)
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social-mockingbird · 2 years ago
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“When have we ever followed orders?”
While I know we’re all upset over what happened to Tech at the end of season 2, there is one thing I do really like about it, and maybe this is just me, but here we go.
I feel like Tech was set up as the most likely to join the Empire after Crosshair. Season 2 gave us a lot more of his personality, the way he thinks, and his convictions. We know now that he is endlessly loyal to his family, loves them to death and will sacrifice himself for them in a heartbeat. But it took a long time for us to get there. Correct me if I’m wrong, but for the first half or so of season 2, he was pretty unbearable. Yeah, there was the pod racing episode, and some fun moments, and later that sweet part with Omega in the caves. But for most of season 2 and large swaths of season 1, Tech came across as legitimately uncaring, willing to put strategy before his friends, and endlessly calculating.
Again, could have been just me, but there were moments when I worried the show writers were setting us up for Tech defecting to the Empire. I was worried that all of the little moments of cold logic were the writers slowly turning us against him so that when he defected, we weren’t surprised. And don’t get me wrong, I still loved Tech even when he was legitimately being a jerk, but I did want to shake him, and I was trying to ignore any writing on the wall.
But “when have we ever followed orders?” was arguably the perfect end to Tech’s season 2 arc. Whether he’s dead or not, that took any residual concern and threw it out the window. The latter half of season 2 started to allay my fears, because we were finally starting to see inside his head and how he processes things and see how he really feels. But that moment was sort of the bow on top. There is no way in hell that Tech would ever defect, and we know that for sure now. Dead or not, I feel like that line was his immunity card being played: despite being the most logical option in the remaining Batch to defect, we now know he would rather die. The show writers, purposefully or not, were confirming that for us with that last line.
I don’t know what they plan to do in season 3, God forbid they make him brainwashed or force him to defect. But as far as season 2 goes, while I am screaming into the void with the rest of you, I think it was also a weirdly comforting sort of thing?
(Again, this is all my opinion, and you are more than welcome to disagree (kindly). I just wanted to join the discourse a bit and share my thoughts.)
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yourqueenb · 1 year ago
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I think it’s still valid to be surprised by MC’s reaction because:
Even if she didn’t expect him to be reinstated so soon, did she not expect Trystan to want to take a freaking moment to process everything that just happened? Although he often talks about how much he dislikes his family and living in Drakovia, that’s still the place he was born and the family he was born into. As you said, she fell in love with a disgraced, exiled prince. He was still forced to leave said country and the family members/(maybe friends) he did have good relationships with. His birthright was stripped from him and his name was dragged through the mud because people thought he murdered the woman he loved. So maybe, just maybe, he would want a second to breathe now that he’s back and his name has been cleared. And maybe he would also want to figure out who the hell has been trying to frame him for the murder in the first place because the trial made it obvious that someone is actively trying to get him to go down for it. And that person most likely had something to do with Juliana’s murder. Like OP said, this MC is not stupid, but she seems to be having a lot of trouble connecting dots right now, which is just OOC.
This, along with number 1, is MC’s problem. She’s being selfish. I can understand that she might be afraid of losing her partner. But assuming that Trystan would want to just leave and go back to “normal” and acting like he’s crazy for wanting to consider just because she doesn’t want to be in Drakovia is wrong. But this isn’t really something that caused surprise for me. It just made me angry because it shows a lack of consideration on MC’s part for someone she is supposed to love and care for. This MC is very logical, but also knows how to be compassionate. Logic + compassion + the love that she has for Trystan should have affected how she responded in that scene in my opinion.
I disagree that Trystan was the first one to be an ass. Even if we ignore what I said about MC being selfish by assuming that he would want to leave, the fact that she told Trystan what to do (“you have to tell them no”) and, again, dismissed his need to process things (“what’s there to get your head around”) were asshole moves. I’m also gonna play a little game of semantics here and say that Trystan said he “was hoping that [she] might stay”. Hoping and assuming are very different things. People keep saying that Trystan was presumptuous for thinking MC would remain in Drakovia with him, but I don’t see any evidence of that. He hoped that she would stay because she’s his partner romantically and professionally. He hoped that she would stay to help him work through his emotions and dealing with his family at a time like this because she cares about him and that’s what romantic partners do. But, and now I’m gonna do some analysis, Trystan knows what MC is like. He knows how important her job is to her. And despite some people misinterpreting him hoping she would stay (I’m pretty sure he meant for the time being) as him hoping she would stay in Drakovia forever because he’s already made up his mind about taking the throne… Trystan is not the type of person who would make assumptions like that. That’s just making him out to be someone he’s not. He knows that MC is a workaholic. He would not expect MC to just drop her life and career back in NY to stay in Drakovia indefinitely. However, he hoped that she would give him some time and support him. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Even if what MC said was out of shock/desperation/fear, no one is going to take kindly to being dismissed and told what to do. That is how it came across. I will say that I didn’t like Trystan’s response either, but I do understand it. I don’t understand what MC said before that because of the things I previously mentioned.
6. I can maybe understand fearing that Trystan would get so wrapped up in all these duties that he wouldn’t have time to actually think about what he wants. But there is a way to express that without completely flying off the handle. So maybe seeing unnecessary arguments and “angst” like this is fun and interesting to some people, but it’s not to me and many others. So I can understand why it was surprising and irritating. Also, even if MC doesn’t care about royalty and what that entails, she still has to know that there is a certain etiquette, that Trystan can’t just up and leave after being reinstated, and that perhaps he wouldn’t immediately want to even if he could. She may not like it as someone who is known to hate red tape and formalities. But she is aware that those things still exist and that she is not in the US where we don’t have monarchies. So she shouldn’t be expecting things to proceed in the same way or on her timeline. And despite her feelings about it, her significant other is someone who grew up in this world and who apparently does care about it. And that should be enough for her to respect and trust what he told her — that he needs some time to think. Now if she wants to leave in the meantime, then she can leave as no one is expecting or forcing her to stay. I think what Trystan and some of us readers did expect was just for her to be considerate
Does PB really, really, REALLY make us want to believe our Crimes of Passion MC has no idea how royalty works? ESPECIALLY when we're dating the HEIR to the throne?
#also as a side note I hope me expressing my frustrations about the scene doesn’t seem like it’s actually geared towards you jerzwriter#bc that wasn’t my intention#I just have a lot of thoughts about how it played out and none of them were particularly positive lmao#back to the commentary though#this is why I actually hate MC’s with such strong preset personalities#I’m playing this game to influence the story in the way that I want to#and having MC’s with preset personalities like this is another thing that limits our choices and how they affect the game#I actually prefer the blank slate MCs and never understood the hatred for them#it’s fine to include some minor traits because they’re still creating a character after all#but the way MCs are and and how they should react are still largely up to the reader’s interpretation of them#and the settings they’re placed in#an MC’s appearance shouldn’t be the only thing that’s customizable#the choices we’re allowed to make are so rigid because of that#and we’ve already seen how that leads to problematic areas and larger issues#tldr we should be getting more variety in our choices#also last thing is I’m so tired of conflict for conflict’s sake#I’m particularly sick of seeing the words ‘angst’/‘angsty’ 🙄#I get liking and wanting to see drama because I do too#however y’all beg for it because you think it’s ‘more interesting’#but there’s nothing fun about it when it’s contrived#and because you praise it PB is content with forcing it instead of letting it play out organically#and then you complain when the characters seem OOC in later chapters or sequels#as if they weren’t already being set up for that bc PB couldn’t figure how to make the plot progress naturally#and keep it interesting on its own#but this is more of a tangent related to posts I’ve been seeing since yesterday and about other books#again it isn’t geared towards you jerzwriter#long post
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jackstheprinceofhearts · 2 years ago
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my very opinionated review of TBONA by Stephanie Garber
WARNINGS: I'm a person who rambles a lot and I will be trying hard not to in this review (and I'm using Grammarly lol) but I make no promises.
this review contains spoilers for tbona! (i am writing this review on Monday night {the 12th} the official release date is the 13th but I was lucky enough to get an owlcrate edition and I will be posting this review a few days after then.)
i will also be discussing my opinions on some debates I've been seeing about jacks's character in TBONA so if you can't handle my opinion then this isn't for you.
strap in because this'll be a long one lol
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first of all, i do have some criticism for this book so let's get that out of the way.
i felt as if tbona was incredibly fast-paced (just like the first one) and I'm a binge reader so it felt like getting thrown all over the place because of how fast I read it lol so I would recommend this book more for slower readers then I would binge readers if you want to absorb the plot more. but i honestly like how she gets straight to the point with it so that's why i love all of her books!
i also guessed a few of the plot twists from some theories I've made and discussed in the Magnificent North discord server but I do that a lot with books so it doesn't ruin much (it just makes me feel smarter than everyone lmfao)
another thing, I didn't really like how towards the end eva kind of gave off the "I can change him" vibes which I mean makes sense in some ways but still I'm not a huge fan of that BUT I like how Evangeline actually listened to him.
I also wasn't very happy that it wasn't really acknowledged that she made his heart beat??...we're ignoring this again??? homie???
and the scar wasn't really a plot point at all which I found to be a bit weird.
but besides that, i don't really have any more criticism for it.
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here were some of the things i liked a lot:
the ending was IMMACULATE it had so much emotional depth and feeling???? oh my god???
I also liked the backstory we got on Jacks because damn it all makes sense now! and it was interesting to see how he was connected to the north, but now I'm curious about how he got to Valenda and how he ended up in the card.
also, can we just talk about how beautifully tragic that ending was???? like yes it was sad but CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE IT FOR A MINUTE LIKE OMG
moment of silence for jacks......
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honestly 5/5 stars. this is definitely my new favorite!
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alright now to get into the stuff about jacks's character that I'm seeing posts about a lot.
so i've seen a lot of people say that they "hate" him or that he's "toxic" or that evajacks is a toxic ship and honestly I disagree and here's why:
the entire point of jacks's character is that he's a heartbroken VILLAIN, not a hero. and he keeps saying that throughout literally every book he's in. he says to tella "I'm the villain, even in my own story." in Finale. we are told over and over again that he's not a hero. "I hurt everyone, little fox." there are a lot more quotes of him literally saying he's the bad guy in TBONA and OUABH 😭 "you need to stop holding me to human standards," jacks drawled. "I'm a fate." and then again with; "I'm not your enemy, little fox. I know you're still angry with me, but you've always known what I am. I never tried to pretend otherwise, you just let yourself believe I was something I'm not." and once again; "I'm not your friend. I'm not some human boy who will tell you pretty lies or bring you flowers or gift you jewels."
(collectors edition of OUABH) him saying he's a bad guy and he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants.
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the entire point of TBONA and OUABH is people making bad choices because of their broken hearts.
also, i don't see how you guys aren't saying anything about LaLa when she betrayed eva as well, like where's the logic??? and what LaLa did was worse in my opinion because it put eva in danger of DYING jacks never did that.
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and don't give me the whole "oh she's a fate she doesn't understand human emotions" BUT YOU WANT JACKS TO??? HOW IS THAT FAIR??? if you don't like jacks that's perfectly fine but let's be fair 😭i'm not saying jacks's actions were okay BUT HE'S A VILLAIN YOU CAN'T EXPECT HIM TO COMPLETELY CHANGE IN TWO BOOKS!!!
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overall, you can't expect a character to completely change and I'm glad he didn't get some rushed redemption arc in this. you need to look into it a bit more before you just give it a bad review because "jacks was a bad guy"
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believe what you will about TBONA but that's my personal opinion on this book. i think Stephanie did an amazing job writing this and I'm excited to see what's to come next. thank you for reading my review/rant! have a good day!
also, the pumpkin chocolate chip cookie I was eating while writing this was really, really, good.
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cuttoothed · 4 years ago
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Fic for day 3 of @jonmartinweek for the prompt "Healing & Recovery". We've all been saying jmart need a lot of therapy after the finale, so...yeah.
Disclaimer: I have never been to couple's therapy. I have done some reading on it, but this is not intended in any way to accurately reflect real world therapy practices. Please just assume that anything "off" is due to the way couple's therapy is practiced in AU-land (though of course feel free to let me know if you spot anything egregious).
*
“Why don’t you start,” Judith suggests, “By telling me about the incident?”
The two men on the sofa give her identical startled looks, as if she’s uncovered something incriminating. Martin seems to regain his composure first; he clears his throat, and his hand moves to cover Jon’s, unconsciously protective.
“Sorry, wh-what do you mean by “incident”?”
“For most couples who come to see me, there’s an...inciting incident,” Judith explains. “Something that makes them realize they could use some professional support to work through things. Of course any couple can benefit from seeing a therapist together on occasion, to deal with small issues before they become big ones. But, well, it’s the same way that everyone knows they should go for regular check ups with their GP rather than waiting until they actually get sick—it’s just not something most people get around to until they need it.”
She pauses to give them time to consider that, and after a moment Jon nods, looking mildly embarrassed.
“Right,” he says. “That’s, ah, I think that’s fair.”
“There are pretty strong extenuating circumstances, though,” Martin huffs defensively. “We didn’t exactly have the option for therapy in the a—wh-where we lived before.”
“It’s not intended as a criticism,” Judith tells him. “You’ve chosen to talk to a therapist, and that’s a big step—one that many people never take. You’re ahead of the curve, Martin.”
Martin looks mollified at that; he’s clearly a bit touchy about perceived criticisms of their relationship, and Judith doesn’t want to get him on the defensive. She gives them both an encouraging smile.
“So,” she says. “Is there an incident you’d like to talk about?”
The two of them look at each other expectantly, as if each is waiting for the other to start. After several long moments of silence, Jon raises his eyebrows meaningfully, and Martin sighs.
“Fine,” he says. “So, we, uh, we recently realized that our...garden was a-a bit of a mess. So we—Jon and I—we get together with our...housemates, to figure out what kind of flowers we should plant. Fuschias or—or hydrangeas. ”
He pauses to glance nervously at Jon, who gives him a reassuring nod, squeezing his hand.
Right, Judith thinks, This is probably not about flowers.
“We agree we all want fuschias,” Martin continues, “Except Jon—he wanted hydrangeas. But we took a vote, and it was fuschias.”
“Except of course most of our—our housemates weren’t there for that meeting,” Jon interjects, folding his arms across his chest.
“Yes, but we agreed we couldn’t wait to ask every single person,” Martin says sharply, back on the defensive. Jon’s brow furrows and his mouth opens as if to say something, but he changes his mind and shuts it again. Conflict aversion is one of the most common dysfunctions Judith sees in the couples she treats; very few people want to disagree with the person they love, and even fewer know how to have a constructive conflict. She makes a mental note of it for later.
“Go ahead, Martin,’ she suggests gently. Martin looks unhappy, but continues.
“So we agree to plant the fuschias the next day, but Jon—Jon sneaks out in the middle of the night and starts, uh, planting hydrangeas. Without telling anyone.”
Without telling me, Judith hears in his hurt tone. Jon’s arms are still folded, and he’s almost squirming in his seat with the effort to not interject; Judith decides it’s a good time to invite him into the story.
“Jon, why did you feel so strongly about the hydrangeas?”
“It’s—it wasn’t that I wanted hydrangeas, I just couldn’t a-accept the idea of—of fuchsias.”
“Couldn’t allow it, you mean,” Martin grumbles. Judith lets it pass and continues to focus on Jon.
“Why is that?”
“They, uh, they spread…” Jon waves his hands vaguely. “Their—their...roots? They would get into the, uh, the neighbors’ gardens, completely take over, destroy everything.”
“Potentially,” Martin insists. “There was no guarantee—”
“There was no reason they wouldn’t,” Jon snaps.
By now Judith is not only sure that this has nothing to do with gardening, but suspects that neither of these men has ever seen a fuchsia in their lives. It’s fine, though. This is far from the first time a client has invented a story out of whole cloth so they can work through something uncomfortable without actually describing it. And this is their first session; Judith hopes in the future they’ll trust her enough to give her the real story.
“Remember,” she tells them. “We’re not here to decide that someone was objectively right or wrong, we’re here to help you understand each other and improve your communication skills.”
“Right,” Martin mutters, unconvinced. Jon’s expression is distressed, but he continues.
“There was no other choice,” he says wearily. “The only other option was—was azaleas, and I know you didn’t want that, Martin.”
“Absolutely not.” Martin sounds horrified. “But hydrangeas, Jon? Do you really think that was a better option?”
“You have to see the difference.” Jon’s tone goes stiff and incredulous, as if he’s winding up for a lecture, and Judith decides to cut that off before it starts.
“So what I’m hearing,” she says, “Is that you both had very strong, conflicting opinions on this topic. And that’s okay—it’s okay for you to disagree, even on something important. You’re not always going to agree on what the right thing to do is. Often there is no single “right thing,” so it comes down to how the different choices make us feel.”
“That doesn’t seem like a good way to make a decision that affects the wh—a lot of people.” Jon clearly considers that his opinion on not-flowers was the objectively correct one. Judith smiles.
“People aren’t computers, Jon. Even the most logical minded person in the world is influenced by their feelings—about important issues, about other people. You’d be surprised at how much of our decision making is rooted in emotion; either how we anticipate the outcome of our decision will make us feel, or how we are feeling in the immediate moment of the choice.”
A spasm of something that might be grief or pain flashes across Jon’s face, and he leans unconsciously in Martin’s direction. Martin’s arm instantly goes around him, offering comfort without thought. It’s clear that these two love each other deeply, unquestioningly—and that’s also part of the problem. When someone you love thinks that you’re wrong about something that’s important to you, it can feel like a rejection of your entire self.
“I’d like to pause this discussion for now, and try a little exercise,” she says. Jon nods, sitting back up and disengaging from Martin’s embrace; Martin looks attentively at her, though his expression is unsure.
“One of the biggest challenges we face with people we love is recognizing that they are separate from us. I know—” she says, raising her hands to stop the objections she can already see forming on their lips. “Of course you know that you’re separate people. We all know that, rationally. But emotionally, it’s natural to see the people you’re close to as extensions of yourself—it’s an evolutionary impulse to aid group bonding. It happens with friends and family, and it’s an even stronger impulse between partners.
“We have to do a lot of work to truly internalize the idea that the people we love have their own inner emotional lives that drive their opinions and decisions. But once you are able to fully grasp that truth, it makes disagreeing with the person you love feel less emotionally fraught; it’s a powerful tool for navigating conflict constructively.”
Jon is frowning, but it’s in consideration rather than disapproval. Martin still looks skeptical, his body language defensive, though he doesn’t say anything. That’s probably the best she’s going to get for now, Judith thinks.
“So,” she says. “The exercise is this: I’d like each of you to take a few moments to think, and then tell the other person something about yourself. Not a fact, but something that you feel. And I would like you to listen without interrupting when your partner tells you their feeling. Can you each do that?”
“I, ah—” Jon’s frown deepens. “That’s...rather difficult to do on demand.”
“I know,” says Judith with sympathy. “That’s why I’m here, to support you both in doing the difficult things. If it was easy, you wouldn’t need a therapist to facilitate.”
“Right,” says Jon. “Okay.”
“Martin?”
“Fine,” he says, but his tone is reluctant. Judith gets it; vulnerability is hard enough in front of someone you love, never mind with a stranger in the room. It’s easier to pretend that it’s pointless, that you’re not really putting yourself out there to be hurt. She has the feeling that Martin is someone who would rather avoid being hurt, even if it means closing himself off.
“All right,” she says. “When you’re ready, Jon, would you mind going first? No rush, take all the time you need.” Hopefully, seeing Jon take the first step might help Martin get over some of his defensiveness.
“Oh,” he says, and for a few moments his expression devolves into one of intense concentration. Then he nods, turning towards Martin.
“Start with “I feel”,” Judith suggests.
“All right,” he says, breathless with nerves. “I, uh, I feel...responsible. For—well, for everything, basically. And for everyone. Bad things have happened to people, and it’s my fault, because I should have done something. Everything that happened, back there, it was all because of me.”
“It wasn’t you, Jon!” Martin protests. “Annabelle told us—”
Judith is about to remind him that he’s supposed to just be listening, but he cuts himself off first. Jon laughs, an ugly sound that’s more like a sob.
“And how is that supposed to help? Knowing that the—that they were using me my whole life, how does that absolve me of any responsibility for what I did? For the fact that I failed to do anything to stop them? I couldn’t even go through with the one thing that could have actually meant something, because—”
He clamps his mouth shut, his jaw locked tight; Martin looks down at his hands, his expression distraught.
“Because of me.”
“Martin—” Jon’s tone is wounded, and he reaches for Martin’s hand. Judith sees reflections of a shared pain in both their faces, though she doesn’t understand why; this would be a lot easier if they’d just tell her the truth.
But you didn’t get into this profession because it was easy, did you?
“Thank you for sharing that, Jon. I think there’s a lot more for us to explore there, but let’s give you a break and give Martin a chance to share, okay?”
Jon nods, clutching Martin’s hand in his. Martin gives a long, slow exhale.
“Righto,” he says with false, brittle cheer. “”I feel,” wasn’t it? Right. Jon, when you do something stupidly self-sacrificing for other people, I feel like everyone else is more important than me.”
Jon flinches.
“Martin,” Judith says, keeping her tone level. “Let’s keep the focus on what you feel, not on what causes you to feel that way, okay?”
“Right,” Martin mutters, and glances at Jon. “Okay. In that case, I feel...like I’m not important. Like the only thing I can really do is—is take care of you. And if I can’t even do that, then what bloody use am I? That’s it, I suppose.”
“Martin…” Jon says again, softly. His eyes are wet, and he’s clinging to Martin’s hand like a drowning man to a plank. Martin swallows hard and shakes his head, but he makes no move to extract his hand from Jon’s grip.
“Thank you, Martin,” Judith tells him. “I know that wasn’t easy to share, for either of you. But this is the kind of honesty that we need, in order to build strong communication. Let’s all take five minutes—if either of you want to take a bathroom break, or get some water—and then we can talk about where to go from here. All right?”
Martin disappears to the loo, while Jon wanders around the office, looking with polite interest at the shelves of books and ornaments. Judith writes a few notes for herself, to follow up in future sessions. She hopes there’ll be future sessions. Both of these men seem deeply hurt, traumatized by events that they’re just barely alluding to, and have clearly been struggling through as best they can with less than ideal coping mechanisms, trying—and likely failing—not to hurt each other in the process. They both need individual counselling as much as couples’ therapy—maybe more. She’s certainly going to recommend it..
They clearly love each other, though. And they want to make it work. If they’re willing to put the effort in, they have better than even odds in their favor.
Martin’s eyes are red-rimmed when he returns; he sits on the sofa as near as he can to Jon, who presses their shoulders together. Judith can’t help smiling at the sight.
“How long have the two of you been together?” she asks. She always asks new clients at the end of the first session, rather than at the beginning; that way she can get a feel for the relationship without preconceptions based on longevity. The two of them look at each other properly, for the first time since Martin came back in, and matching, sheepish smiles break out on both their faces after a moment.
“So it was three weeks in Scotland,” Martin begins, ticking it off on his fingers. “And then—how long?”
“Uhh, it’s...let’s say half a year, give or take?” Jon makes a face that says he’s really not all that sure.
“Right, and then we’ve been here nearly six months. So...about a year, all in all?”
“But we knew each other for over three years before that,” Jon insists earnestly.
“It sounds as if the two of you have been through a lot,” says Judith. “And not all of it gardening related?”
“No,” Jon says with a self-deprecating chuckle. “Mostly not.”
“We barely scratched the surface today—and that’s normal. Relationships are complicated, and it takes a lot of time and hard work to build understanding and communication. But I promise you, it is worth all the effort. You both made a really strong start today—it takes courage to be that honest, even with your partner.”
The two of them give each other a long look, and the smile they trade is tentative, but genuine. They haven’t solved anything today, have only just begun to reveal their hurt and their insecurities; they have a long journey ahead to get to a truly honest, healthy place both for themselves and their relationship. Judith has a feeling they’ll persevere, though—that losing each other simply isn’t an option.
“So,” she says, “Should we make this a recurring appointment?”
Jon glances questioningly at Martin, who bites his lip and then nods firmly, taking Jon’s hand in his.
“Yeah,” Martin says. “We’ve done much harder things. We can do this.”
“Together?” says Jon, and Martin smiles.
“No matter what.”
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katyasrussianaccent · 4 years ago
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you’re so golden (corpse x reader)
Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?
Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!
You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.
Call you in 15. 
You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.
Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.
“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.
The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.
The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.
Incoming Facetime Audio
“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.
You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker. 
“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.
“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.
There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.
You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single. 
“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.
You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”
He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.” 
You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”
He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do. 
“People on the internet say a lot of things.”
“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.
“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”
“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”
He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.
“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.
“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.
“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.
“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”. 
“And what would you cook for me?” he asks. 
You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”
He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”
You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.
“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.
He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”
“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.
“You could always sing some for me,” he offers. 
You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”
“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.
“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.
“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.
You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.
“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.” 
You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.
It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in. 
“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.
You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it. 
“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”
“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time. 
“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”
“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.
“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts. 
“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.
“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.
The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar. 
The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.
“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for. 
“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.
“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”
“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.
“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.
“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else. 
“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.
“We can switch,” he replies.
“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.
“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.
You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.
“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.
“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”
“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.
“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.
“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.
You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.” 
Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen;  Felix has been killed.
“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.
“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”
“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.
“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.
“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.
“Oh. I was in um o2?”
“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.
“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.
“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.
“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that. 
“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you. 
“Hey,” you greet her.
“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body.  You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.
“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?” 
“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.
“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.
“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.
“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”
“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.
“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.
“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.
You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.
You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement. 
IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you. 
“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.
You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.
“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task. 
“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were. 
“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.
You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”
“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.
You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.
“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.
“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.
“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.
“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list. 
Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.
You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.
“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.
“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.
You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”
“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.
“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.
“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?” 
Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.
“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.
“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.
“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.
“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.
“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.
“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.
“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.
“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.
You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.
“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit. 
“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!” 
You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands. 
“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.
TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior  @cherry-piee @mirahg  @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02 
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world-smitten · 7 months ago
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You make good points! And tbh, I'm 2 episodes behind so there's probably been some developments that might change how I see Hyun-woo. Coming to your 2nd point, I think you're right about Hyun-woo having a role in this kind of story, as a sort of greyness, and I think he actually works as a sort of meeting point between Eun-sung's greed and Hae-in's capacity for love. He does have a role in this story, and I now think that, somewhere between the three of them, is a solid story about how money shapes relationships.
I do disagree about the idea not coming from him - but I was also wrong there lol. He is materialistic because going back to ep 2, the show actually makes a joke about it. His friend suggests the idea, he goes, "what, do you think I'm that materialistic!?" and then it cuts right to him presenting the most extravagant bouquet to a bemused Hae-in. Here's where I was wrong: the show doesn't really set up the friend as an "out" - in fact, the speed with which he folds suggests that this idea is a part of that materialism, which we both agree is a part of him. And it also suggests that this idea, though it was given to him, is something that he didn't even really struggle with accepting - which is where I disagree with you about it being a "mistake" rather than part of his personality. Correct him if I'm wrong, but we don't see him really reflect on this decision, have any kind of doubts about what he's doing. There's no inner conflict, so there's no space to see this decision as anything other than a part of him. And that's really because in those moments of fake niceness, the writing enters Hae-in's perspective. We see how she receives these gestures (with hesitancy, confusion, pleasure, mistrust), but we never enter into his head to see the logic behind what he does, or how he feels about what he does. In those moments, we are firmly in Hae-in's head as seeing it how she sees it, with all the possibility for opening her back up to love. That's also why Hae-in works so much for me as a character. She's not necessarily more moral than him, but she does have a stronger sense of an inner world.
Then again, you're very very right about him liking Hae-in initially as she was, not for her money. I think it's interesting how that conviction in the past now contrasts with the present, and I think maybe in that there's something about how men interact with women's wealth. After all when he think's she's poor, he can be her dependable man (when he tells her he likes her, he starts by listing his assets, his status, his uni, his degree, his money). I don't mean that he never genuinely liked Hae-in, but it's interesting that the show so far hasn't really focused on how finding out her wealth affected their dynamic. So much of his first confession was about how he could provide for her and fighting to marry this "lower-class" girl, and then surprise! She's been disgustingly rich this whole time. The coldness between them 3 years later is so stark, that I can't help but cynically want to interpret his discovery of her money as having something to do with it, and changing the way he related to her.
So in my mind, Hyun-woo is a materialistic man who relates to the "poor" Hae-in through how he can provide for her, and when she's rich, this materialism then expresses itself in a new way related to her wealth (he jumps on the idea to flatter his way back into her will). But ofc, I'm still 2 eps behind so anything can change here lol. Would love to hear what you think! 😊
uneasiness is the word for Queen of Tears. This show makes me uneasy. I felt it in the first episodes where a group of men lament having to cook for the Hong's family memorial service (cooking! horror!), I felt it when Soo-cheol opened his big mouth to call Africa barbaric, and I'm still feeling it 6 eps in while Hae-in cavorts around Germany with her lousy husband.
I haven't dropped the show yet because I find it entertaining, and I have no self-discipline. What I like: Kim Ji-won as Hong Hae-in. The ensemble cast is big and probably expensive, but the money is paying off. They're all individually strong performers, and they work off each other expertly. I like the Hong family, and I like their soon-to-be usurpers. I like how the camera moves - I like how funny the writing can be. I love the soundtrack. Hae-in's fake illness is one of the more compelling fake illnesses in k-dramas. I think everything around her character is sharply drawn, and most of that lies in Kim Ji-won's performance, who knows exactly how to ride that fine line of irony and earnestness. She knows Hae-in is out of touch and vain, and plays those moment with subtle self-riducule, but she also acknowledges that Hae-in is trying, if not necessarily successfully, to be a better person.
Her husband though - lol. Baek Hyun-woo starts out as someone with a degree of responsibility and morality that his in-laws severely lack. Much of the first episodes is playing up his alienation as a decent, modest middle-class lawyer who marries Hae-in, a woman from a vastly rich family, and learns quickly that the companionship and support he thought he'd receive from her isn't there. He decides to get a divorce after he finds out that his wife didn't put him in her will - the last straw, and ultimate proof that she no longer loves him. Fair enough, thought I. Then he finds out his wife is dying. His reaction: stash away the divorce papers and lover her up so bad she'll fall for him again and put him in her will. Okay...interesting! thought I. It was a refreshing turn in his character, having our nice lead be as self-interested and petty as the in-laws he looked down on. And at that point, the writing was vaguely, vaguely aware that he was a prick for it. But it also gave him an out - see, it wasn't really Hyun-woo's idea, but his friend's, whispering in his ear like Lady Macbeth to topple the faithful King Duncan, so y'know, this conniving isn't really Soo-hyun's nature. He's definitely not that kind of guy.
The funny thing is that Hyun-woo's selfishness is the only believable thing about him. Early on, it's hammered in that working for this family is eating up at his sense of justice, but there's no underlying reason or conviction as to why or where he has this sense of justic from. I can believe more that he is a deeply materialistic man, who says the "moral" thing, but ultimatley still cares about status and money and reputation. After all, the moral compromises he regretted making for his in-laws no longer mattered when he was busy chasing Hae-in's bag lol. And like his ethics, his love for Hae-in feels similarly hollow - when he starts to see her through sun-lit filters and flares with ballads in the back, it all reads like artifice attempting to simulate a sincere falling-back-in-love, and I don't buy it. I don't believe that he's a good man, and I don't believe that he loves Hae-in. I cannot believe that people were harassing Kim Sae-ron, a real woman with a real connection to Kim Soo-hyun, over this pairing. Stand up.
In fact, this show is a lot like Hyun-woo - hollow, saying the "right" things re: wealth, but meaning nothing. The villains are grasping class upstarts. The chaebol family are so dysfunctional and bumbling that they become like children, pitiable and endearing. There's a show in here that's brilliant, and I keep seeing flashes of it because I've seen it in other brilliant shows. An upwardly mobile lawyer marries into a conglomerate, and their corruption chews him up and spits him out - Stranger. A chaebol family whose stupidity and pettiness is genuinely disturbing and suffocating - Secret Love Affair. And if you want to ogle and jeer at rich people, then Mine is as indulgent, as excessive, as voyeuristic (bordering on exploitative) as QOT while still having a moral spine. Of course, those shows had very different writers, different aims and tonal registers to Queen of Tears, which is first and foremost a brassy, sweeping crowdpleaser. But QOT wants us to take it seriously - it wants us to at least believe in the romance that it's selling. And well...I don't know if I can manage that. Personally, I'd have cut Hyun-woo out all together, make Eun-sung/Hae-in and Soo-cheol/Da-hye the main pairings (while keeping Eun-sung and Da-hye as two-faced as they already are), and have the messiness of the plot spill out from that.
I think this is all a sign to watch My Liberation Notes again.
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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago
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Twisted 23 - Surrender [Spencer Reid x Reader]
A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤
Series Masterlist
Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking.
Word Count: 4400
Summary: Secrets can’t stay hidden forever.
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The possibility of you sitting with a killer who had sworn to destroy you was scary for sure, but thinking that the said killer could be much closer to you than you had thought was enough to make your blood freeze in your veins.
It was as if you were going through the same thing that had happened with your dad ages ago, but with a small difference;
Your dad had never tried to hurt you, but this time the killer was coming after you.
Spencer stood beside you as you exhaled the smoke of your cigarette into the air, your hands still shaky but you forced yourself to focus on the police and the FBI escorting people out of the building while he kept his gaze on you.
“You might be wrong though?” you managed to ask, looking up at him, “Right? Maybe it’s not—maybe it’s not someone as close to me?”
Spencer heaved a sigh, “We need more evidence, but you need to keep that in mind that it is possible. I mean— it makes more sense than it being just a stranger, don’t you agree?”
“I don’t agree that I’ve had the misfortune to be close with two serial killers throughout my life, no,” you murmured through frozen lips, “Maybe it’s me. Maybe I was doomed to survive one serial killer to be killed by another.”
“I will never let that happen.”
You took another drag of your cigarette, “I have a feeling the killer might end up not asking for your permission, professor,” you stated and turned your head when you heard the sound of heels coming closer. Mina ran a hand over her face, clearing her throat.
“I sent Kenz away from here,” Mina said and it didn’t escape your notice how she was deliberately avoiding giving any details, just in case. “We’ll regroup at mom’s place, you, me and mom.”
“Just us?”
Mina clicked her tongue, “All things considered,” she murmured, “So I’m not going to beat around the bush; we both agree that it’s not Kenzie right?”
You nodded, “Clearly,” you said and pulled your brows together, “Wait, we’re sure it’s not Kenzie but we still suspect each other?”
“I don’t know, do we?” Mina asked back and you shifted your weight, looking down at the cigarette in your hand.
“Mina, I don’t—”
“Listen, it’s not the place for this conversation,” she interrupted you, “Mom’s place, half an hour.”
“That might not be the best idea,” Spencer said, looking between you two and Mina scoffed.
“It’s not our first rodeo with a serial killer among us, Dr. Reid,” she said, “I already gave a list of my alibis to your colleagues, so did my mother. There’s nothing to keep us here.” She nodded at you, “Don’t be late, we have a lot to talk about.”
With that, she walked away from you two and grabbed her keys from the valet while you stubbed your cigarette.
“So did you check everyone’s alibis?”
“Yeah, at least the people close to you,” Spencer said, “They all look solid.”
You raised your brows, “But?”
Spencer clenched his jaw, “I need to go over all the files, all the recordings with your father—”
“I don’t think it’s my father who’s behind this. Not this time, and not at the cabin. He wouldn’t dare.”
He frowned, “Why do you keep saying that?”
“Well think about what happened the last time I-“ you snapped your fingers, “Right. You weren’t there.”
“What happened? Luke just said you walked away because your father got on your nerve.”
“That’s one way to put it,” you muttered and motioned at the valet to give him your ticket so that he could bring your car, “Listen, I gotta go. Mom is probably at home and Mina is going there and I can’t….I need to talk to them.”
“It might be dangerous.”
“Spencer, it’s my family we’re talking about,” you insisted, “I can’t— if I start suspecting them too, I have nothing left to hold on to.”
He opened his mouth to disagree but you saw Luke coming closer to both of you.
“Hey, Rossi says we need to get back to the office. Emily and Tara are already there,” he told Spencer and turned to you, “We need to stop meeting like this, trust fund baby.”
“Dude, you guys are the ones who show up and scream murder everywhere I go.”
Luke chuckled, holding up his hands and mocking surrender while valet pulled over in front of you.
“Here you go ma’am.”
“Thank you,” you offered him a small smile before you looked up at Spencer. “I’ll see you later I guess.”
“Call me when you get there, we’re also sending a car to your mother’s place and your place just to be sure.”
You nodded, heaving a sigh and Spencer squeezed your arm as if to assure you before pressing a kiss on top of your head.
“Be careful.”
“Hey I was trained by a serial killer, how many people can say that?” you tried to joke as you walked to your car, “I’ll be fine.”
You got into your car and valet closed it, then you started the car and drove off.
                                                 ***
The living room was completely silent in your mother’s house. In fact, the whole house was silent, the only noise was the constant ticking of the huge clock on the wall while all three of you sat still, waiting for someone else to talk. Your mother drummed her fingernails on the table, something she would reprimand you for doing if it were another time, Mina bit inside her cheek, her gaze fixed on the wall and you downed the whiskey in your glass, then filled it again.
“Okay,” Mina said and sat up straighter and looked between you, “I just want to say, if it was someone in this room this whole time, we can- I can fix this.”
“Jesus Christ, Mina!”
“You can’t possibly suspect-“
“We’ll say it was dad’s influence, we’ll call it trauma after-“
“Do you hear what you’re saying?”
“I’m just saying, if it is one of us, it’s dad’s fault.”
“It’s not one of us!” you insisted but then you turned your head when you heard the doorbell ring. The sound of heels came closer and Mina threw her head back as soon as Kenzie walked inside.
“Kenz, I told you to-“
“Yeah, spare me the bullshit, I came as soon as I made sure Lily was alright and safe,” she waved a hand in the air and you closed your eyes for a moment.
“Kenzie, you really shouldn’t be here.”
“Why? So that all of you can dramatically blame each other? I know how you guys get, there’s not an ounce of logic between the three of you.”
Your mom heaved a sigh and got the whiskey bottle from you, “What did Spencer say again?”
“That it was possible it was someone at our table. It’d make more sense than it being a stranger.”
“So either one of us, or Lincoln, or Nolan.”
Your mom gasped, “Nolan had nothing to do with that!”
“Just saying, it wouldn’t be the first time some man you loved didn’t turn out to be the man he pretends to be-“
“Mina, low blow,” you cleared your throat and your mother narrowed her eyes.
“I know it’s not him.”
“Then it has to be Lincoln.”
You let out a small laugh, “Dude, don’t you remember what he was like when we were children? He cried when he saw me scrape my knees and his mom had to take him away.”
“People change.”
“I’m pretty sure I’d know if one of my best friends were a serial killer, Mina.”
“He came late to the auction.”
“So did all of you!” you insisted, “You don’t see me blaming you- by that logic where were you?”
“Are you kidding me? My meeting took longer than I expected, go check my security camera footage. Where were you?”
“Mina!”
“I was literally talking to Spencer while it was happening!”
“Are you two seriously blaming each other?” Kenzie gawked at you and Mina shrugged her shoulders before turning to your mother.
“How about you mom?”
“What is this, an Agatha Christie novel?” your mother asked, exasperated, “Ask the driver, it took us more than an hour to get there because of the accident.”
“It could be anyone in that auction hall, yes, including someone in this room but they checked our alibis. Spencer said it was a possibility, not that it was certain,” you managed to say, “They still need more evidence and I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to start blaming the only people in my life that I actually trust.”
A silence fell upon you and Kenzie sat down beside you, then filled herself a drink as well.
“The moment we start blaming each other, we’re lost,” she said, looking Mina in the eye, “Your dad almost tore this family apart once, don’t let this copycat do the same. It’s not one of us and you know it.”
“No one is blaming you Kenz,” you rasped out and Mina ran a hand over her face.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, “Jesus, I’m— it’s just that… It fucks with my head.”
“You get used to it,” you sipped your drink and turned to your mother, “For what it’s worth, I really don’t think it’s Nolan either. I mean what are the chances of getting married to a serial killer twi—“ you stopped talking as soon as Kenzie kicked you under the table and Mina gasped, shooting you a look as you covered your mouth. Your mother stared at you, her jaw dropping and you cleared your throat, trying your hardest to come up with something.
“I mean—“ you stammered, “I’m drunk and I just saw Spencer being all hot and whispering in my ear after there was a murder so my feelings are all over the place, I don’t know what I—“
“Now that she fucked up first, I can say it.” Mina said, “Nolan will ask you to marry him.”
“I was un-fucking it!” You hissed and Mina scoffed.
“You haven’t un-fucked a thing in your goddamn life.”
“I can’t believe this is how I’m finding out about this,” your mother breathed out, still staring at you two and you let out a whine, burying your face into your hands.
“I’m sorry!” your voice came out muffled and Kenzie let out a giggle, patting your arm as you raised your head again, “I- well- my dad was a serial killer!”
“What is that, your out of jail card?” Mina asked, “The same guy was also my dad but you don’t see me giving out secrets and spoiling surprises.”
“When did he say that to you?” Your mother asked, sitting up straight, “Y/N, you’re telling me everything right now!”
“I saw my ex looking hot tonight and someone got murdered while I was flirting with him, I’m allowed to mess up once or twice!”
“That’s a strange way of describing your whole life.”
“Shut up Mina or I swear—“
“Y/N!”
“He asked for my blessing and I said yes,” you murmured, “So did Mina and Kenzie. But I think we all threatened him first, right?”
“Nope, you’re the creepy one in this group.”
“Yeah I think it was just you.”
“Fine! Okay, I threatened him first,” you admitted as your mother stared at you, “In my defense, I was also pretty drunk back then because of my break up with the love of my life, in case anyone at this table forgot—“
“I wish. Maybe I could try to forget it if you stopped talking about it for five fucking minutes though.”
“Babe!”
“And my serial killer father—“
“Having daddy issues isn’t an excuse to be a snitch, bitch.”
“Mina, stop insulting your sister for a moment,” your mother told her and turned to you, “What did he tell you?”
“That he has been in love with you for… I don’t know, centuries because he’s like a five hundred years old vampire.”
“He feeds on money though, not blood.” Mina pointed out, “I actually can see him as an evil lord somewhere, now that you mentioned.”
“Getting information from this family is a nightmare,” your mother heaved a sigh, “And?”
“And nothing. Make sure to get your nails done when he takes you on a dinner now that we all gave him our blessing but I’m so not planning your wedding, my client list is full.”
“Nobody buys that excuse Y/N,” Kenzie reminded helpfully and your mother shook her head.
“Oh but I can’t possibly—“ she heaved a sigh, “I can’t marry him yet.”
Instantly, all three of you turned to him with the same surprised expression on your faces.
“…Were you gonna hit it and quit it mom?”
Your mother pinched the bridge of her nose “Mina, what is wrong with you tonight?”
“I have no idea. Is this what being traumatized is?”
“Yeah welcome to the club, I’ve been here for a while,” you waved your hands in the air, “Mom, I thought you loved Nolan. Don’t you?”
“No, I’m completely in love with him!” your mother said quickly, “He’s the best man I’ve ever known or been with.”
“Meh, let’s not pretend the bar is—“ Mina started but stopped talking when Kenzie elbowed her, “Sorry. I’m just going to keep drinking over here to keep my mouth busy.”
“But?”
“Sweetie, I can’t get married when…” your mother gestured at you, “When you haven’t found a partner yet!”
You made a face, “Why did we teleport into Jane Austen times all of a sudden?”
“No, you know what people would say.”
“Since when does that stop you?” you asked her, “Come on, who the fuck cares what anyone thinks? They can all go to hell.”
“Y/N, I appreciate the thought but-“
“Mom,” you said, “I might just end up alone, okay? You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for me to get married or find a partner or something just because of some stupid unwritten rule. Fuck those people, let them talk.”
“It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to have an actual wedding either.”
“Who’s coming up with these rules?” Mina exclaimed, “Mom, do whatever you want. This family threw appropriate out of the window long ago.”
Kenzie nodded fervently, “People will always find something to criticize, you can’t let that get to you. If you love him, go for it.”
“But wait for him to propose first, I have a feeling it’ll be the biggest ring I’ve ever seen,” you clinked your glass with hers and wiggled your brows, “Can I please be the one to tell dad though? I want to record the look of devastation on his face. I’ll make it my wallpaper.”
                                                  ***
The next day, you tried your hardest to focus on work. Even if Spencer’s words kept echoing in your ears, you couldn’t help but think that he had to be wrong.
Maybe he was. Maybe it was someone else in the hall, other than your family or Nolan or Lincoln. It was impossible for you to suspect anyone in your family, and Nolan and Lincoln had had more than enough time to be alone with you and hurt you, but neither of them had given you any sign of being dangerous.
Besides, you were sure that after spending so much time with your father, you’d be able to tell if it was someone around you.
Or at least you hoped so.
You took a sip of your rosé and bit inside your cheek, staring at your dinner table in the middle of the living room which now looked like something pulled out of a horror movie. You heaved a sigh, holding your hand over the various types of knives, the memory flashing in your head.
“Alright Petal,” your father tugged you by the hand so that you could get closer to the coffee table full of knives, “Let’s see if you studied like I told you, hm?”
“I have!” you gave him a bright smile before you bit at the stick candy and he raised his brows.
“Honey, don’t bite at candy, you’ll ruin your teeth.”
“No I won’t,” you said stubbornly, still holding the candy tight, “I’ll brush my teeth afterwards.”
He heaved a sigh and grabbed a blade off the table, then held it up.
“What is this?”
“A trench knife,” you said, looking at the handle that looked more like brass knuckles your father had shown you before, “You can hold it over your fingers so it’s better for…for…”
“Close combat.”
You nodded, still chewing on the candy and your father put it back, then showed you another.
“This?”
“Push dagger!”
“How do we use push dagger?”
“When you hold it in your palm, the blade is between your fingers.”
“So that…?”
“So that the prey can’t see it until it’s too late.”
He nodded, “You really did pay attention, Petal,” he commented and you giggled, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet and turned the candy in your mouth as he held up another blade.
“This?”
“Butterfly knife!” you said and motioned at him, “I want that one.”
“Because it’s called a butterfly?”
“Daddy I love butterflies!”
He smiled, then grabbed another from the table, “Do you know what it is?”
“Another butterfly knife?”
“No honey, this is called a trainer, see?” he showed you, “I want you to practice with this first. It has no knife, so you won’t be cutting yourself until I say you can switch to an actual one.”
You clicked your tongue, twirling the butterfly knife between your fingers, the motion almost automatic. You had become so good at it when you were a child that you didn’t even need to think about how to flip the knife after all these years, your hands already remembered it.
“Trench knife, push dagger,” you counted slowly as the thunder lit up the dark sky outside, “Good for close combat, good for stealth….Stiletto, good for deeper wounds. Bowie is good for—“ you were cut off when you heard someone banging their fist on the door. You could feel your heartbeat getting faster and you flipped the butterfly knife in your hand, approaching the door but as soon as you looked through the peephole, your stomach made a happy flip.
“Spencer?” you muttered and opened the door, “What’re you—”
“Are you insane?” he cut you off, glaring daggers at you and you pulled your brows together.
“Huh?” you asked as he walked past you into the apartment and you closed the door before following him. He ran a hand through his curls, clearly the rain outside had made his hair even messier and he turned around to say something, but then got distracted.
“Why are you holding a butterfly knife?” he asked and you flipped it again before throwing it on the table and he frowned at the sight on the table.
“What the hell is this?”
“Uh, butterfly knife, trench knife,” you pointed with your finger as you counted them, “That’s a stiletto knife, that’s a switch blade, right next to it is a push dagger and the one over there is called—“
“I know what they are, why am I looking at them?”
You arched a brow, “Take a guess.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“What?” you let out a bitter laugh, “I’m done taking it lying down, okay? Last night was the last straw, if that copycat wants to come after me, I say let them. The man who they’re looking up to was the same man who trained me for my whole childhood, I like these odds.”
“Yeah?” he scoffed, his eyes narrowed in anger, “Is that why you threatened one of the most dangerous serial killers of our time?”
You tilted your head, “My father?”
He threw his hands in the air, frustration getting the best of him,
“Yes, your father!”
“So you basically ran all the way here to yell at me because I threatened my father?” you asked as you walked past him, then grabbed your wine glass and leaned back to the table, “Don’t worry professor, it’s a family thing. We’re impulsive. He’ll be fine, unfortunately.”
He ran a hand over his face, “What were you thinking?”
“To be honest with you, I kind of wasn’t thinking,” you pointed out before you took a sip of your wine, “How is he these days, by the way?”
“I’m glad you find this entertaining,” he said through his teeth, “Because I can assure you, this is not funny.”
“Oh come on, it’s a little funny.”
He took a deep breath as if he was trying to control himself, “You think threatening a serial killer with murder is funny?”
“I mean have you seen the look on his face? I don’t know if the video got that but—“
“Why did you break up with me?”
Well, Spencer had a way of taking you by surprise, that was for sure. You lowered the glass and blinked a couple of times, trying to pull yourself together.
“I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. Why did you break up with me if you were going to threaten a damn serial killer because he implied he might come after me?”
“I hope you know that normal exes don’t have these kind of conversations,” you tried to joke but he only raised his brows.
“Y/N.”
“Spencer,” you heaved a sigh “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I do,” he said, his voice almost too low, “You just don’t want me to know what I’m talking about.”
“Listen, I know how it might look like but I can assure you I’d do it for any—“
“Garcia was with me while I was watching those tapes.”
Your eyes snapped up to his as your breath got caught in your throat. You swallowed thickly, painfully aware of how he was probably seeing all your tells but even that thought didn’t stop you from drumming your fingernails on the fragile glass you were holding, pursing your lips for a moment before you cleared your throat.
“What—um—what did she say?”
“You mean before or after she said you broke up with me to protect me even if I’m an FBI agent already working on this case?”
God damn it Garcia.
The thunder boomed outside again and you frantically tried to find the right words, but it felt impossible to do so. He took a step closer to you while you stared at him, completely frozen and you closed your eyes for a moment.
“Spencer…” you muttered as you opened your eyes again, “Whatever training they gave you, trust me, they didn’t train you for my father.”
“Is that why you said all that stuff back then?” he asked slowly, “When we broke up?”
“It doesn’t matter—“
“Yes it does.”
A sad smile pulled at your lips as you put your wine glass down, and shrugged your shoulders.
“I thought—um, I thought it I hurt you that badly, you’d never want to see me again,” you admitted, “So if you were away from me, you’d be safe. Away from my father, away from the copycat, away from all of this. Working on this case is not the same as being caught in this fucked up web, you know that.”
“You didn’t think you should’ve at least asked my opinion on this?”
“You would’ve said no.”
“Of course I would’ve said no!”
“Exactly!” you threw up your hands, “You might not care about your survival in this situation, but I do, okay? I love you too much to let you get hurt because of me—” as soon as your brain acknowledged what had just slipped from your lips, you stopped talking, your breathing getting faster while panic seemed to flood your system. He stared at you, a soft light appearing in his eyes and you shook your head at yourself.
“Fucking great,” you muttered, “Yeah, um you— I’m— it doesn’t matter. Do whatever you want to do with that information.”
You took a step to walk past him but he had already grabbed your arm and pulled you back. Before you could even ask him what he was doing, his lips found yours, letting that warmth shoot through your stomach into your whole system. The feeling was so sudden but so mind numbing that you thought Spencer was right before, this was definitely like a drug, an addiction. His fingers caressed over your neck while your body pressed against his like some sort of a magnet and a soft whine escaped from you as he pulled back slightly.
“Don’t run away,” he whispered against your lips “Not this time.”
You felt the tears rushing to your eyes. “Spencer-“
“I love you.”
“You shouldn’t,” you murmured before he stole another kiss from you.
“I love you,” he repeated, his hazel eyes locked in yours, “And I’m done pretending like I don’t.”
It was a bad idea. You knew it was a bad idea, you knew it would put him in danger, but none of that seemed to matter to you after hearing that he loved you. For some reason, you were convinced that you two would find a way, that everything would be alright as long as you loved each other, naïve as it was.
The happiness burst through you, wrapping you in a soft and warm haze as you reached back with one hand to sweep everything off the table, sending all the knives to the floor with a loud noise before you jumped to sit on the table. A small chuckle left his lips when you tugged at his jacket and he tilted his head.
“What, you don’t have a bed?” he taunted you and you grinned.
“The bed can wait,” you murmured as he dragged his fingertips up your bare legs to pull you closer to him, drawing a giggle from your lips before he kissed you again.
Chapter 24
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sxfik · 3 years ago
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let's talk about episode 16 and why it confirms solhwi endgame
back to masterlist
a/n: as always, this is just my opinion and what i interpreted from episode 16! some of this might be a stretch (or wishful thinking lol) but ya know, feel free to start discussions etc.
just through my time scrolling here on tumblr and on twitter, i've seen many viewers be disappointed with the last episode and it's lack of confirmation for solhwi (and also like understandably so, we'd all love to see a more "firm" confirmation). but i genuinely think that this whole episode was a confirmation of their feelings for each other, that there was something there.
the most important thing to remember about this show is that it is not a romance. the main plot is centered around the mystery but also these students learning how to navigate the law and trying to show the different sides of the law (ways the law can be used to help vs. ways the law can be used to harm). we, of course, also get to explore the relationships of the group with their family, their professors and with each other. so overall, i think we can all agree that we weren't going to get an "explicit" confirmation of their feelings for each other.
i think one of the things law school does really well as a show is that it doesn't give a "perfect" ending to every story. for example, in many shows, we see every plot line resolve in the show with no open endings and in general, it ends up all resolving with in the span of two episodes. but with episode 16, especially the ending scenes, we see that not everything is resolved. we don't get an answer for every single mystery, such as seung-jae's story line or the full extent of professor seo and assemblyman koi's relationship. what we do get instead is a "set-up" to show or hint at how the relationship might develop in the future. this also applies to the relationships within the story: for example, we don't really get a full ending for kang sol B's issues with her family. rather, we see that they are going to therapy and working it out together. we don't get a true ending to the court case with ji ho's dad. even with kang dan and her story, we don't get to see a "full" resolution to it, but we do get a hint/a sense that everything is on track to be resolved. many people might argue that this is a sign of bad writing but i disagree. i believe that this is realistic writing, because the issues that are faced by the students in the show is not resolvable in one year and neither are their relationships.
with that in mind, i would apply the same logic to solhwi. like i said, i didn't think we'd get a kiss scene or anything similar to that in their 1L year. through this season, we are tracking joon hwi and sol A's relationship as it grows from classmates to acquaintances to friends to in like to in love (especially for han joon hwi). if you go through and rewatch the show, you can see that as the episodes go on, we see han joon hwi and sol's relationship develop into something that is based on trust, care, appreciation and communication.
i've seen many people say that we've over hyped their relationship in the last couple episodes but i don't believe that's true. i believe that the show is trying to display that both of them are falling for each other, they're both seeing each other in a "new light." for joon hwi, that moment came much quicker; like i said in this post, joon hwi is realizing the extent of his feelings towards her when he says that he owes her. and this last episode proves it! this whole episode we see the camera focus on han joon hwi's reactions and his love for sol, except he's actually aware of himself. earlier, the reactions came out without him realizing or being aware that he's in love with her. but this episode? he is aware of his feelings for her. throughout this episode we watch as his admiration for her grows louder and louder, from smirks and soft smiles at her to appreciation for her knowledge and talents. we see the hint of defensiveness cross his face when ji ho insults kang sol (which by the way definetly felt more like ji ho was taunting joon hwi that he was actually insulting kang sol). even sol B knows when she asks to start but he makes her wait for sol A.
and in the end, we see that sol is realizing her feelings too. i believe for her, the change came through ye-seul's trial. some part of her always loved his company and his friendship but after the trial, and their friends teasing their jealousy, i think sol definitely took more note of joon hwi. i think it's evident in their 1L year in this episode, the looks of appreciation she gives him, the way her eyes seem to always land on him in the end. and ESPECIALLY the courtroom scene where sol and joon hwi were practicing her argument, we can see her feel the tension and his presence as he grows closer to her, we can see her getting flustered and nervous around him in a the way you would with someone who's position is your life is graduating from friends to a crush. the beginnings of this episode definitely show that solhwi is starting to full on fall for each other.
THEN during their 3L year, we can see how they're full blown gone for each other. i genuinely think that at this point, they are in a relationship with each other and here is why.
one: the moment sol sees joon hwi walk by, she calls out his name asking him what he's up to. then when he responds "i want to wind down" she follows him. when they get out of the elevator, she says "you said you wanted to wind down?" and he lets out a teasing laugh at that. i definetly think that she was talking about/expecting something completely different when he said he wanted to wind down, because as he explains that he wants to wind down by "watching the trial," you can watch the gears turning in her head before answering "right, i should wind down too" in an embarrassed way, with joon hwi teasingly smiling at her (obviously he knows where her mind went to). and then after stretching, sol makes her classic "you're so annoying/you're so frustrating" face at him.
two: as kang sol and joon hwi provides counsel to the old man, we see joon hwi once again watch kang sol but the expression on his face this time, is a lot different to the expressions that we've had previously. before, the reactions and expressions were more distant, more "in admiration" and in amazement (about her and his feelings for her). but in his reactions this time around, we see it's more firm, it's more confident. it's a completely different expression of love than what we've seen before. it's a lot more similar to one that a boyfriend or a husband gives their significant other than the expression a boy gives to his crush. it's a lot less amazement and enamorment and more content, proud expression.
(honestly it's kinda hard to describe how different the expressions are in words, but if you watch the moment around 1:00:00, you'll see what i mean)
here's the thing: the concepts and issues that law school is showing us are not resolvable issues in one year, and they are not "easily" resolvable issues either. that is what this show has been trying to show us: that the law is complex and it's application in the real world is even more complicated. so it would not make sense for this show to wrap everything up in a neat bow and present it to us in the final episode. moreover, solhwi has forged a friendship through the pressures of law school as well as the overarching mystery and plot of the show. this season was centered around watching them develop a relationship together and this show hints and shows that solhwi are soulmates, their relationship will not be an epic love story where there are grand gestures or confessions of love. it is a gradual change from friend to lovers, while having independent development and maintaining their own goals in life. the very ending, we see them reach their goals as lawyer and prosecutor but they still come together. if they were to have a confession scene in the very end of the show i believe that it would have been too rushed without enough development on both sides. i think that law school ended in the best way for both characters without reversing or skipping their development while leaving room and hinting at the possibilities for the future.
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miyamiwu · 2 years ago
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ASBDHDJFKF that KaiSagi panel really be the epitome of the enemies to lovers trope, huh? 😂
But yeah, I get your point. I do also enjoy the enemies/rivals to lovers trope. Strongly agree on that it forces characters to have development, but I disagree on how friends to lovers may not need that much character development since it’ll work anyway and it how it’s limited to just predictable fluff. It all really depends on how the author works with it. If the author wants vanilla, it can be vanilla. If they want it dramatic and spicy, then it can be dramatic and spicy.
The Bachira-Isagi ship is a good example of the friends to lovers trope. It started out vanilla and classic but became more nuanced come Second Selection arc. The author was able to make this typical sweet and cute pair into a dramatic one by, ironically, “breaking” their friendship.
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Bachira was so ready to let go of Isagi here, and it was not out of hate or of conflicting ideals or out of any external factors or simplistic reasons like “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” It was because he loved him. He loved Isagi so much, he’d rather break away from him so he can continue to stay by his side even if they’ll no longer be friends or partners. It’s that self-sacrificial aspect that makes it so juicy. Bachira would rather ruin what they had than to be left behind.
And it wasn’t just Bachira ready to sacrifice but Isagi as well. Isagi, a player who works strongly by logic, sacrificed the more logical play (interfering a possible pass to Rin) by meeting Bachira where he was instead
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Bachira became rational to the point he wanted to break away from Isagi, but then Isagi responded, becoming irrational to the point he’d rather risk losing the game. He believed in Bachira so much, he can throw away everything else.
Sacrificing out of love and turning irrational out of strong faith in the other, faith which is only possible from having known someone for so long… If that still doesn’t make this trope dramatic, then I don’t know what will.
And it doesn’t stop there! These two can also diss each other!!
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Bachira was straight-up looking down on Isagi here, and Isagi was so fucking mad, all he could say was a “shut up.” They are even more like a married couple because after this, we have the two of them acting like it never happened and they just went back to being lovey-dovey again
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I could write a much longer essay on these two, but I’ll stop here for now so I can get to other ship examples.
My other favorite friends to lovers ship, which is unfortunately not canon 🥲, is from a Chinese BL webnovel called I am a Flower Vase in an Infinite Flow World (Ignore that long, ugly title).
It’s untranslated, but (edit: it’s now being translated) The plot is about the characters trying to survive in the Infinite Flow world. (Unlimited/Infinite Flow is a popular genre in webnovels, and if you don’t know what that is, just think of it as the death game trope.)
And since you’re equating Rivals to Lovers to the Enemies to Lovers trope, may I also introduce the Teammates to Lovers counterpart for Friends to Lovers? I ship the protagonist Tang Ning with his teammate turned best friend, Lin Yun.
It’s a death game, so you can expect their teamwork to be not that important since prioritizing one’s own life is only natural. And it was definitely like that in the beginning. Lin Yun is an ordinary guy who had teamed up with Tang Ning out of convenience, and when things turned bad, he was always ready to leave Tang Ning behind. He doesn’t mind being called selfish or a coward, for he thinks his life is more important.
Once, Tang Ning saved Lin Yun while almost getting himself killed, and Lin Yun berated him for being stupid and told him how he shouldn’t risk his life for teammates because teams are temporary. Tang Ning agreed with him on the not-risking-life-for-teammates part, but then gently said that Lin Yun was different because he was no longer just a teammate but his friend aaaaahhh
Later in the story, when Lin Yun was caught in some spell, Tang Ning, in order to wake him up, decided to be frank with him by saying something like “You’re so selfish, always saving yourself before others. One day, you’ll be the only one alive and you’ll be all alone.” And those words succeeded in waking Lin Yun up, and he realized then and there how much Tang Ning means to him. That, for all of his selfishness, there was no way he’d want to leave Tang Ning behind. Tang Ning has become so important to him, even more than his own life. And for that, Lin Yun tried to be braver and stronger so that he would never have to abandon Tang Ning.
Wanting to be stronger, becoming a better person, facing your fears—all so you could protect the one you love. That’s such a beautiful and dramatic aspect of friends to lovers that should really be utilized more.
A more popular example of this would be the Killua-Gon ship from Hunter x Hunter. Killua had been taught since he was child to never face an enemy that he wasn’t confident that he could beat. This lesson was so “ingrained” into him that it’s become an instinct for him to run away when facing a stronger enemy. It has definitely helped him preserve his life, but in the Chimera Ant arc, it also became his downfall. His greatest fear is that one day he can’t help but leave Gon behind to die.
And so, he stood his ground against a chimera ant. Trembling in fear and with tears in his eyes, he declared in a shaky voice that he does not want to lose Gon, his most important friend.
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Is that not beautiful? Does it not make your heart clench? Does it not keep you at the edge of your seat??
Friends to Lovers can be just as dramatic and intense as Enemies to Lovers. I consume a lot of horror, supernatural, mystery, and shounen media, so I’ve encountered many such complex ships that are more than just the predictable fluff you’d typically find in an ordinary modern setting.
Enemies to Lovers is sexy, but Friends to Lovers is supreme
AVSHDKDJFKDK I AM SO MAD
This is the second time I've seen friends to lovers lose in a favorite romance trope poll. Why tf does enemies to lovers keep winning??? I enjoy that trope too, but how is it better than friends to lovers???
Do the majority not prefer a gradual and natural progression in a relationship?? When two characters have inside jokes that only they know? Being with someone they actually enjoy hanging out with??? Someone they can talk with about their hobbies, dreams, and anxieties without fear of being judged??? The moment when sharing a bed is suddenly no longer just a usual thing they do but is now making them shy??? Soft and sweet moments between two people who are so comfortable with each other and that before they knew it they have become each other's home???? That italic oh moment when they just suddenly realized that "yes, I want this, and more of this for the rest of my life"??
Do you all really prefer two people trying to kill each other first before falling in love??? Whhyyyy
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