#after therapy perhaps
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In Love (Aimer)
Original English lyrics to my nemesis the bane of my existence “Aimer” from Roméo et Juliette. My latest breakthrough is without a doubt the counterpart solos; no matter how many improvements I made, I could never come up with decent lines. I do slightly regret not being able to include some ideas like leaving fear behind and love giving meaning to your life (the Hungarian equivalent especially is so nice). But at least with these lyrics I get to have both commentary re: the feud and epic foreshadowing in my non-aria aria, which is nice. What can I say, my English RetJ are expert shade-throwers, 200% done with literally everything, and have slightly feral vibes (canon-compliant, naturally). You guys will tell me if I have completed the assignment. Reblog, like, comment, etc.
MAJOR-ISH EDIT 7/9/23: Tweaked some of the words (the "our" was perhaps too on-the-nose for my tastes). Also decided to replace the Chorus echo of Juliet's verse with an original one à la Hungarian to lessen repetition somewhat and give a sense of ˜progression. If you dislike it, just pretend it's the Juliet verse echo; that works too. Otherwise...not gonna lie, this is looking pretty official; at the very least the B-melody verse is set in stone. Which means, of course, that I will 99.999% change it up even more, lol.
MAJOR EDIT 8/30/23: Aaaaaaaand I’m back, changing things up some more. Surprise! So apparently the lot of you really didn’t like the repetitions…for a famously repetitious song at both the lyrical and melodic level. 😑 Luckily for you lot, I wasn’t satisfied with all the “I”s, so I took this opportunity to switch it to “we” and keep the gerunds. I had to sacrifice some of my internal rhymes (RIP), but I kept the most important stuff re: RetJ rhyming together. Plus, now they refer to each other as the married couple they most certainly are. It’s canonical, folks. Either way, this turned out to be one of my most faithful translations yet.
In Love (Aimer)
Romeo In love beyond this life’s end We’ll be until we’re rising And yearning in flight, in splendor In love, beyond this life’s end
Juliet In love, beyond this time’s end We’ll be until we’re binding And burning in flame, in tender In love, beyond this time’s end
Both In love, we’re strong together Fighting for one another Plighting to one another Our lives, our souls forever
Chorus In love beyond this life’s end We’ll be until we’re rising And yearning in flight, in splendor In love, beyond this life’s end
In love beyond this life’s dream We’ll be until we’re living And dwelling in hope, in meaning In love, beyond this life’s dream
In love beyond this world’s wrong (Juliet: Beyond this world’s wronging) We’ll be until we’re dying (Juliet: In love till I’m dying) And drowning in night, in longing In love, beyond this world’s wrong
In love beyond this life’s end (Romeo: Beyond this life’s ending) We’ll be until we’re rising (Romeo: In love till I’m rising) And yearning in flight, in splendor In love, beyond this life’s end
All In love...
#🫠#life is pain#aimer is pain#romeo et juliette#retj#roméo et juliette#aimer#my lyrics#retj english#i’m just going to have this as my newest version#and whatever corrections i make i’ll do them to this one#i do like how the hungarians created a whole new verse for the second chorus one#if i have inspiration i could take a whack at it#but i’m afraid i’m too traumatized for now#after therapy perhaps#also ‘life’s end’ in singular since retj think of themselves as having one life ofc#and ofc their verses rhyme internally with each other#retj do not and should not chill
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i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is
cw injury, referenced abusive relationships
--
Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.
Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.
But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.
"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."
Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.
"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."
Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.
"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.
"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.
Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"
Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.
He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"
Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.
"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.
"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."
He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.
Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.
(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)
"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"
Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"
"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."
Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.
"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."
Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.
Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.
"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.
Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.
Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."
"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.
"As you insist," Dream says.
Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.
"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."
Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.
Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."
"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.
"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."
Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.
"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."
Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.
"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."
He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.
Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."
Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.
#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD#you know this was a missed opportunity to do 'forbidden romance between a physical therapist and a ballerina' like that ridiculous romance#novel that was going around XD#anyway don't take physical therapy advice from this#dreamling#dream of the endless#hob gadling#my writing#cw abuse#long post#perhaps i'll write more after my next appointment XD#physical therapy fic
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John: Between you and Yellow I think you were the monster and I'm glad I'm nothing like you
Arthur: I literally cannot stand to listen to a single decible of your voice any longer you naive, ignorant parasite
literally 2 episodes later
Arthur: hey do you wanna go to dinner after this?
John: yea? like a date?
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#im back on my bullshit#theyre divorced again but immediately after signing the paperwork they went to couples therapy and are friends#lovers perhaps#love these scrunkly dunklys and their funny little love language
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if all the bots do remember what happened while they were mind controlled, how do you think twitch feels about megatron? or what’s your take on how megatron would approach this?
they're all very traumatized, me thinks. i don't think they would be able to be around each other for a while, twitch would probably never forget the blinding light of megatron's cannon slowly charging up right at her face, and how powerless she felt at the moment. imagine being aimed at by your own relative !! a close one at that, regardless of mind control, you're still staring at their body pointing a loaded weapon at you, i would be scared shitless and have a panic attack if i saw them again
megatron would totally and completely feel violated and extremely, extremely guilty. she knows it wasn't Her who was aiming, but it also,, Was,,, Her, like, it's his arm pointing at twitch, and his fusion cannon charging and ready to fire. she wasn't able to stop his own body from issuing that Fire command, and if twitch hadn't moved when thrash called her oughhhhhhh !!!! i feel like megatron would Try to approach her to apologize, but the vivid image of twitch's eyes staring at her, wide and terrified, would appear in his mind and he'd just. retreat to his room
i doubt they would ever talk about the incident, but i like to think that eventually, after a long, long time of avoidance, one ends up inching closer and closer to the other until they're hugging tightly (borderline crushing !), whole body quivering. no words are said, but they'd both understand how they feel
#.txt#earthspark spoilers#i dont think their relationship would be the same after that#but they'd try to play like the old days#maybe megs would detach her fusion cannon whenever she knew twitch would be around. she would still carry it around tho. on her back..#(just in case it's needed. for defense !! )#but perhaps she could ask nightshade for one of their hologram thingies so megatron can use it to make it 'invisible' !#in conclusion. they need therapy. they really really need therapy#i hope this makes sense. sorry if it doesnt. words are hard !!
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annoyed that i keep losing interest in stories as soon as the characters get together. no i will not analyze what that means about me
#in my defense authors usually fumble the dynamic after they get together#so many strip the characters of their personality and their freakness and it pisses me AWFF#do you not know how to exist as yourself once you’re in a relationship? is that the problem#perhaps i’m the emotionally stable one and YALL need therapy#laughed writing the beginning of the last tag#speaking.
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OK, I finally finished The Devil Judge. I already had an ao3 tab open and waiting. I clicked over to it and ... 10? Just 10 fics out of 1,135 are bottom Kang Yo Han? I rarely give a fuck who penetrates who in M/M fics but am I seriously in this kind of a tiny minority when it comes to Kang Yo Han getting railed by the guy with his beloved older brother's face? The older brother he was absolutely obsessed with? It's just me and (counts on fingers) 7 other people who think he wants to hear Kim Ga On whisper in his ear while he's facedownassup "it's ok to call me hyung"????????
#i am losing my mind#i am not going to sleep tonight#but will i write my own damn fic?#LOLLLLLLLLLLL#bugs_bunny_no.gif#i have not got the brainspoons for writing atm#if i did i would though#perhaps if the frustration percolates enough it will coalesce#tears snot torn sheets gonna-need-a-lozenge-after-all-that-screaming life-altering cancel-my-therapy sex with the guy who looks just like#but sure as hell isn't#your hyung#i need to be struck by lightning#the devil judge
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legal disclaimer i am genuinely totally fine
#that said i HAVE joked abt offing myself so much in the last two weeks w varying degrees of seriousness tht i am looking at therapists rn#the last time i had a therapist i would just lie so tht she wasn’t disappointed in me but surely after a decade i can be normal abt therapy#maybe. perhaps even.#having a really great really fantastic mental health experience
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Is Hutchins going to send Harumi to Therapy?
He probably would consider it if he didn't have his hands full preventing prophecies from annihilating us all
Or–
Roise: Soooooo, what do we do when we have big feelings?
Harumi: Contemplate murder
Roise: NO :D
#nelson's mom becomes a therapist after losing her job as a hospital clerk#one of the first drafts of b2ch1 was her giving everyone at the school therapy in the aftermath of the garmadon attack#but given what we have now you can perhaps see why i changed that#not that they don't need therapy–miranda even lampshades it :V
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good morning angel baby
#I think I have therapy today and I don’t wanna go 😭😭😭😭😭#and then I have an ultrasound tomorrow bruhhhh#perhaps I will be able to relax after both of those are done lol#(probably not)
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i am feeling very apprehensive about it due to feeling Not Well (chronic illness style) BUT tomorrow i'm gonna pump up the tyres on my bike and do 5 very gentle non-out-of-breath-making minutes on my turbo trainer inside.... that is not even 2 songs' length i can totally do that and there is no need to be so so scared! If i can do it, then huge yippee and i can work on trying to hit a once a week routine, in which i can gradually increase the duration and intensity over time, and if i CANNOT. well then i know that i am not doing good which is also useful info to have and to tell my dr when i go soon (: I CAN DO IT!!!
#i used to do 5x 30 minute turbo training sessions per week and 2x 20 minute tai chi sessions for week at my peak as physical therapy#(i worked up to that under supervision from my drs over... a couple of years perhaps? from 1 minute every few days.#like FULLY cannot tolerate exercise without vertigo. to that) and THEN. my heart got messed up and i simply could not even do regular stuff#let alone exercise let alone cardio!!! rip.#also i knoooooow my bike needs servicing but i've fallen out of touch with my friend who was also my bike mechanic so :(#god what was the point here.#uh okay. so! i know how to do graded exercise pacing i am very practiced at it! i just want to be able to do it :P and it's scary to restar#because i did just feel so so ill to begin with and then stop after feeling less ill for a while because i felt so much worse! so to go bac#intimidating! but i can do scary stuff. 💪 including the scariness of accepting that perhaps i'm not capable of doing it. but i can try
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so yknow the two birds au? yeah i may have made it worse;
there's this video where someone rewrote revolution of the daleks (starts at about 19:33) but too long didn't read - thirteen suddenly goes dark and ends up killing a clone dalek, renouncing her role as a hero and a saviour. this is what causes both ryan and graham to leave... and unfortunately, jane is not far behind her.
"janey, i'm sorry--" "after everything you've done today? the lies, the anger, the violence... you don't deserve an apology. this keeps happening, time and time again, you lose your temper, turn around and say 'oh its because of all the trauma ive suffered' - look at me, mum, look at me! we've both been through so much together, but i can't... i just can't keep living like this!" "b-but yaz--" "you're trying to make yaz into you, don't you understand?! like with rose, and martha, and donna, and amy, and clara, and bill, and me! and then you turn around and pull a 'time lord victorious' and expect us all to sing kumbaya? i've had enough. i don't want to be you. i don't want to destroy people's lives just for my own sick pleasure. stay behind with your girlfriend, go on your little adventures. but remember - once this is over, you'll be alone once more." she goes to the door of the tardis, and the doctor follows. "janey, please..." jane doesn't respond, walking out the door and slamming it behind her, leaving the doctor and yaz in the tardis alone. we get a shot where she brushes past jack, and that's the last we see of jane v until the star beast
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#ocappreciation#ocapp#ochub#queerocs#doctor who oc#OC: Jane#story: life on mars#and then the flux happens so like no fucking wonder these two need therapy :')#does jane actually mean what she said here? idk#is she just angry at the doctor and is this years of pent up anger coming out? perhaps#fun fact the first line when jane and tenteen meet each other - after jane recognises that tenteen is NOT the tenth doctor#is them both immediately apologising :')#caps tw
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God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
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someone needs to pull a fucking neil josten n make jude n taryn have joint therapy sessions
#not cardan bcs while he is technically holding the Partner situation here i fear that boy doesn’t even know the meaning of therapy lol#*position#all his relantionship w siblings were either non-existent or abusive asf PLEASE#perhaps vivi but she’s v offhands w most things in life n after maybe making a weak attempt to get jude n taryn to talk to her she’ll give#up n settle for the two of them occupying at least the same space#heather tho… i trust her n believe in the power of the Horrified Outsider Perspective 😍#she could do it. i believe in u heather#heather drags the duarte twins to therapy after one too many explosive conversations that end in knives out#the duarte twins#tfota#jude duarte#taryn duarte#cardan greenbriar#vivi duarte#heather
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there is this overarching sadness in everything yet i keep going and though it feels like the bare minimum isn't enough i don't have it in me to do more currently
#im not really trying my best. im simply trying#i'd like to be a better friend and better partner... better everything tbh but i feel i've lost touch#with others and myself and my own emotions#perhaps i need different meds. perhaps i need to finally start therapy. perhaps i just have to suck it up#and do my thesis and stop being a failure borderline uni dropout#what will become of me. where will i end up. how will i make a living. who will i be after my parents are gone from this earth.#how will i survive. how long do i keep going how long until it feels like i'm not hanging by a thread#remember when i had artistic dreams. lol#i feel so disconnected....... what do i even need to regain my strength and resolve?? no clue. no clue what's missing or astray#anyway. we persist#vegan.txt
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so is anybody talking about the horrific intrusive thoughts while driving...?
#like the real kind not the tiktok kind#please tell me i think i am going to have to drive myself to therapy and to get my flu+covid shots tomorrow and i am terrified lmao#there were no fucking available appointments anywhere except one at 4 so i'm going to have about an hour and a half after therapy and#i think i will go to the plant store down the road. hashtag self care#also unclear if you can just walk in for them it seems like maybe the supply is kind of low? idk maybe i will call them tomorrow#driving and making a phone call in one day......eventually perhaps i'll approach normal adult capabilities#me
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simply thinking abt the sopranos finale and how tony’s world goes dark because it’s heavily implied he’s dead yes but his soul is gone too. he has no life left to live, no soul, because the guilt-stricken and sensitive guy of season 1 has been wrung out of him and he’s given in.
#out.#i do genuinely believe that tony began therapy with genuine intentions etc#and there’s so many times where he tries to distance himself from The Life etc but he chooses the easier option of staying in it#i plan to go at length abt how pussy and chrissy are his only authentic connections and we know how that ended#i think a lot abt how tony was physically sick from the idea of pussy being a rat (which he knew abt. he did.) vs#how dead his eyes are when he kills chris#how elated he is etc etc#i love my terrible man……!#anyways i’m on the train thinking abt Him (as always)#may perhaps actually write her when i get back home after dinner and hw but we’ll see!#king midas in reverse.
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