#so many strip the characters of their personality and their freakness and it pisses me AWFF

[annaruby]

annoyed that i keep losing interest in stories as soon as the characters get together. no i will not analyze what that means about me

[nichavez]

Nick,

If you don’t mind, I have some thoughts regarding a lot of the criticism I’ve surrounding Monsters and you and Cooper that I’m gonna dump here really quick because they’ve been sitting my mind for too long :)

For starters, a part of me is just really confused as to why so many people are treating the show like it’s meant to be a shot-for-shot replication of what actually happened in the case? Because I don’t think it was ever intended to be. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but, from my perspective, the show is less of the story of the brothers, and more of the story of their case? And yeah while the brothers’ story (which mind you is the reality that I wholeheartedly believe, and) is incredibly important, it wasn’t the ONLY perspective that was flying around at the time. 

I just think it’s very very clear that any suggestion the show makes of a reality that is different from what the brother’s stated in the trial, is very explicitly an exploration of the massive amount of “ifs” that were flying around during the time. In fact I think Cooper said something similar in an interview somewhere.

What I seriously don’t get is why people are so pissed off at the depiction of Dominic Dunne’s “inc*st” theory, but the part of the show where the brothers dressed up in black jumpsuits to commit the murder like freaking cartoon assassin characters, is firmly understood as the show showing a fictional theory. Like, both are just two different theories that Dunne had at the time, and was either talking about to others or publishing about at the time; if a show is trying to capture the story of every aspect of the trial, then public perception is only naturally going to play a role in that.

Now I’m not dumb, I’m sure another big reason it was put in was because shock value. Was the scene really necessary? Probably not.

But, leading into my second point, I’m actually upset that the scene was put in, because the shock value of scenes like that, make it so that many people end up remembering the show purely based on those moments. Which genuinely sucks because it is so so so much more than that.

One thing that really stood out to me was just, purely the way so much of it was filmed. I mean it’s this highly saturated, exaggerated aesthetic of golden perfection that’s almost overly cinematic at times, I mean it really does not feel like a documentary at all; it feels like a film.

But the whole show isn’t like that. And I feel like the shiny scenes are so effective, not because they glorify the brothers’ story, but because of how fucking jarring they make the heaviest scenes of the show, which are stripped of this aesthetic. I mean the biggest stand out is obviously Cooper’s scene in “The Hurt Man”, like the color grading on the entire shot is just this empty, cottony grey that’s so barren, and like there’s sunlight on his face but it’s lost that pretty golden tone to it completely, and you can just see every shadow and crease of tiredness on his face. It’s just it’s such a startling contrast because of the picture perfect light we’ve become used to seeing him in. So those details coupled with his performance which is just, I don’t even really have words for it I really don’t. It truly just disturbs you to your very core when you watch that scene and, in that moment, come to the same realization that I believe many people at the time realized during their trial, of just how damaged this person who you thought had this perfect life, how damaged and hurt he really is.

That’s why I truly hate it when people chalk the show up to it’s less savory moments, because it completely ignores moments like these.

And while I could go on for hours about all of these scenes and interactions that people seem to just gloss over, I want to talk about the second to last scene for a moment because it has to do with you.

I’ve seen so many comments online critiquing your portrayal of Lyle as mischaracterized, overly aggressive, etc like, you get the general idea. But I honestly don’t understand how someone could watch your performance in that second to last scene, and come away from the show with any impression other than a crippling understanding of just how much Lyle loved his brother. Like in the first half of the scene you can see how just… tired, you are. Where Cooper’s confused, startled even, you almost seem to know what’s happening, with this like heavy, mournful acceptance in your expression. Yet still when he’s about to step into his van and he spots you, you give him that small nod of comfort. And maybe it’s because I’m an older sibling, but like in that moment I was just flooded with this horrible feeling of pure empathy, because I knew in that moment that I’ve had to give my little brother that nod before. And I’ve had to do the lean over that you do to check on Cooper in the other van, and give that smile of assurance even though you know that things really aren’t okay, and I remember having to close my laptop and remind myself to breathe from how hard I was crying when I watched that scene because while there’s others in the show, that’s one of the most prominent moments where it really hits you just how much these two had to let go of, and how much they’ve suffered.

And where something more sanitized and by-the-book something like a documentary has the informative advantage, that scene just makes you realize how human these people are. Because it’s different than just being able to understand and acknowledge their struggle and pain, it’s being able to feel even a shard of it within your own self, that level of empathy is a true feat to achieve. 

So yeah, I think it’s really easy for people to nitpick the show for its mistakes, which mind you, it has its fair share. But I truly do believe it does its job in telling the story from the perspective of the middle man, and embodies the phrase “don’t shoot the messenger.” And the fact that despite this unbiased approach, you still leave the show feeling the unjustness of their case, I think that goes to show more than anything that the show is anything but against the brothers. 

Anyway, sorry for the long ass ask I just had a lottt of thoughts on this. I totally understand if the topic is something you’d rather avoid, I mean having only looked at the case for a few weeks even I know it’s truly a devastating world to immerse yourself in, let alone for a year. But I’m curious if even on a high level, you agree or disagree with anything above? Lots of love <3

Hello there sweetheart! Sorry it took me a bit to answer. I've been quite busy this week. Wow, you've got yourself a looong message and the honestly, your insight is really beautiful and extremely well written. Thank you for taking the time to share it, we appreciate the way you put out your thoughts to us.

Cooper totally agrees with you, I myself would rather not comment much on this topic as I've said before, solely because the show is open to interpretation and I don't want to influence the viewers on it. However it's been out for a while and it seems that progress has been made from every side of the media.

You know, Ryan Murphy is well known to put the public eye on a hook, with contorversial ways he tells the stories. I agree with the part that the show is solely to put the information out there, in a cinematic and dramatized version of the reality by others portrayal. Ryan knew well before the filming that this was probably going to happen, he let us know the risks of these roles before moving forward and we still believed that the story had to be told. Hope this answers your question. Have a lovely weekend.

[thediamondgirl17]

Rin Okumura x Reader: First Bell

Wow...I have not seen any Blue Exorcist content in a while! But I have to admit I am a big fan of Rin Okumura! He is definitely on the list of some of my top fav anime characters! 

Considering I am a not so popular writer, I decided to write for a not so popular anime! (I don’t know how it isn’t popular, I freaking love this show!) 

Anyways-! Onto the story! As always if you would like a Part 2 to this I will gladly write one! And constructive feedback is always welcome! 

Warnings: PG-13 (Spoilers!: This story will be taking place right after Season 1 of the anime! Nothing beyond that point will be talked about however!)

        You remember it like it was yesterday. Rumors of the gates of Gehenna opening, with True Cross Academy being in the center of all of it. Nobody believed the rumors. Why should they? It had been years since Satan had crawled out of the gates of hell and rampaged through Assiah. You had your doubts however. Everyone knew about the son of Satan, how he wanted to become an exorcist. And then...the gates opened. There was panic everywhere, doors to True Cross Academy opened, mirrors were placed to deflect light through the darkness. And then...Your school was destroyed. 

    Opening the doors and letting in sunlight through mirrors was a great idea and it had saved many lives in the short amount of time that it had been planned. However, nobody had expected demons to lurk in the shadows behind the mirrors. Nobody had expected large demons to find their way through your school and tear it down whilst having sunlight beat down on them, destroying them as well in the process. What in the name of Assiah did they do it for? Nobody knows. However now you had to start somewhere else for Exorcist training.  Everyone in your school then was moved to different schools that offered the same program so you could continue your studies. And of course...Having your luck, you landed at True Cross Academy. 

    Most everyone who was in your course back at your original school was spread around so that one school wouldn’t be mobbed with exorcists in training. Not that you were complaining about getting into one of the most prestigious schools in the country, it was just the student body that worried you. To say you were scared of the twins of Satan would be a lie, but it wasn’t like you were jumping out of your skin to go meet them either. 

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    The first bell had rung of your first class of the day. Demon pharmaceuticals. You gently held your backpack straps and bit your lower lip. You stepped forward and gently pushed open the large door in front of you. It was heavy, but years of training and working out to make yourself stronger helped out a bit with your struggle. You stepped inside and looked around the classroom. There weren’t a lot of people there, which pissed you off considering you had to leave a lot of friends behind to come here. Your eyes travelled to a boy holding a poppet. A girl with purple pig-tails. A boy with pink hair. There was a boy with a blonde Mohawk. One with a shaved head and glasses. A girl with blonde hair. And finally the two who have had your curious since you entered the school. 

    One stood in front of the class wearing the official exorcist uniform. His ears were pointed, and if you looked close enough you could see fangs poking out of his mouth. Your eyes however lingered on the tail that poked out from underneath his official jacket. His hair was black and he had two beauty marks directly under his eyes. 

    “Sorry I’m late!-” A voice called as another demon boy jumped through the threshold of the door. “Holy shit, who are you?!” He asked with wide eyes. Almost like he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He had the same demonic feats as his brother but his hair was blue and he looked roughed up. Your cheeks involuntarily heated up at the comment. 

    “Rin! Don’t be rude!” The other demonic twin said and wacked his brother on the back of the head gently with his hand. “Everyone take your seats and I will explain everything.” 

    “I-...I’m sorry are you my teacher?” You asked softly and a bit confused. He offered a kind and sweet smile. 

    “Yes I am...Now take a seat anywhere you see fit and I will begin todays class.” He said and went back behind the counter in the front of the room. You nodded slowly and sat down in the far back corner as to not be disturbed. You had known there would be two of them...You did not expect one of them to be your teacher. 

    “As you all are quite aware, we have a new student today. Miss (L/n) please come up and introduce yourself.” He said, and the moment he stopped talking all eyes were on you. Especially a pair of demonic ones. Slowly you got up and walked to the front of the class. You stood next to Mr. Okumura and started talking. 

    “My name is (F/n) (L/n) I was transferred here after a demon escaped from Gehenna and trampled my school while supplying light here through mirrors.” You started, but soon got cut off. 

    “What?! No way! Not one demon from that portal made it’s way through those thresholds!” The boy with the blonde strip shouted as he stood up. 

    “Bon! Lower your voice!” Yuiko scolded him. 

    “I assure you it did-” You started. 

    “Are you sure it wasn’t someone’s familiar?”

    “No.” 

    “How do you know?!” He said getting defensive.  

    “Bon!” Yukio shouted. “That’s enough just let her talk...Please continue...What kind of exorcist are you training to be?” 

    “I want to be a tamer...Well I am a tamer...But I have been studying being a Knight on the side.” You replied softly 

    “And why did you want to become an exorcist?” He asked. You went utterly silent. What would they think if you told them why you were really here? Would they think you were crazy? Probably. A dream to live in peace with demons was not a dream that people take kindly in this field, and you knew that better than anyone in the room. “If you don’t want to tell us you don’t have to...,” He said placing a hand on your shoulder. You glared at his hand and he suddenly pulled it off. 

    “...Your so warm...,” You said softly. “Nothing like the other half demons...,” You said softly. 

    “Well what did you expect?” The girl with the purple hair said sarcastically. “They ARE the sons of Satan...and by the way your reason to become an exorcist doesn’t matter to us...There are two people sitting in this room who want to kill Satan.” 

    “Kill Satan?!” You asked shocked. “That’s suicide...,” 

    “Is not!” The other demonic twin stood up. “I can totally do it!” 

    “I’m going to be sobering honest with you Okumura.” You said and looked straight at him. “Your still half human. You will die.” You said plainly. “Half-demons are mortals...,” 

    “So what?! If I’m so crazy then why are you here hmm?” He questioned. Now the whole room was staring right at you. Your cheeks heated up from the sudden attention. 

    “If I tell you....You can’t laugh...,” You said softly. 

    “Nobody will laugh at you.” Yukio reassured you. 

    “I-...I believe with enough hard work...And studying...We could...Live in peace with beings from Gehenna...And I know it sounds crazy-!” You said. 

    “That’s a great goal!” Rin said shooting up from his seat with a sloppy grin. And there was a moment of silence in the room. A moment you took to mark this in your memory. He was the first one to not laugh, or judge, or try to convince you that your dream was not in reach. 

    “...So is yours...,” You replied softly before sitting back down at your desk. 

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    The next day was your first day doing academic classes at your new school. Currently the first bell for lunch had rung and you went to get food. You stood silently in awe as you noticed there was nothing left for students on a budget. You groaned softly and your shoulders slumped. 

    “Hey!” You heard someone say behind you. “You hungry?” You turned only to find Rin behind you holding a bento in his hands. His hair covered his ears and his teeth were still fanged like, but normal enough to be considered normal. And his tail was tucked away somewhere, but it wasn’t exactly like you were looking for it. 

    “Yeah...Actually...I didn’t get to eat breakfast today either...I’m like the last person to show up every day...,” You chuckled softly. 

    “Wanna split my lunch?” He offered. You did a little double take. 

    “You would...Do that?” 

    “Hell yeah! What are friends for?” He asked and motioned for you to follow behind him. “Follow me!” He called. And soon the two of you were off. After a little while of walking and trying to find a good spot for lunch, you both settled on a patch of grass. “Here...I have an extra pair of chopsticks.” He said and handed them to you. 

    “Thanks...,” You said softly and took a bite from his lunch. “Wow!” You said with your eyes lighting up. “This tastes amazing!” Rin felt his cheeks heat up and he bashfully looked down. 

    “Oh stop!” He said gently waving his hand back and forth, then reaching down and taking a bite from his lunch. “Sho...Do you rweally fink shat we can live wif demons...,” He said with his mouth filled. You couldn’t help but giggle a bit at it. 

    “What?” You asked with a slightly tilted head. 

    “Do you really think we can live with demons...Ya’know...In peace?” He asked looking up at you. You paused for a moment and hummed. 

    “I don’t see why not...,” You trailed off.

    “Where did you even get that idea in the first place? I mean- not to be rude...But I don’t think you just woke up one day thinking that humans and demons should live in peace...,” You hummed softly at his question and thought about it. 

    “Well...Way back when I was a little girl...I got attacked by a demon, it latched on to me and slowly was draining my life away...I was only 7 years old at the time.” You sighed and smiled. “But then...An exorcist came and she banished the demon back to where it came from.” 

    “Why didn’t she just kill it?” He asked sipping on his water from his plastic bottle. 

    “It was against her belief...I hold some of those beliefs.” 

    “What were they?”

    “She believed that all life was a precious gift...I believe that too, however I also believe that sometimes things need to die to keep balance...Like how predators kill their prey to survive. I believe the same for demons, that they shouldn’t die unless it’s life on the line.” You blushed. “Sorry I’m rambling.” 

    “No no! I totally get it! That’s a very interesting kind of thinking...but I like it!” He smiled a wide toothy grin. You blinked and felt your heart pound in your chest. 

    “Everyone calls me crazy...When I tell them that...,” You said softly and pushed some hair behind your ear. 

    “People say that about me when I talk about killing Satan...So I guess we’re in the same boat!” He raised his hand to give you a high five. You smiled and gently clapped your hand against his. 

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    After that, your relationship with Rin got much better. You sat next to him in classes, ate lunch with him, did your homework with him, and he even let you come over to his dorm and meet Ukokbach. All in all, you enjoyed spending time with Rin, and he enjoyed spending time with you. And slowly over the course of about three months, you both began to develop feelings for one another, feelings a bit deeper than friendship. 

    It was just before Yukio’s class when it happened. You were just walking down the long winding hallway with huge doors, when you saw something behind you glow. It was Rin, a bit of blue fire gently licked at the top of his head, and the tip of his tail. His cheeks were a soft pink and his walk looked uncomfortable. 

    “Rin...,” You said softly. “You okay..?-”

    “Your really hot and pretty and I wanna go out with you cuz your really cool and I feel like we would make a good couple so whaddya’ say?” He said really quickly. It took a moment for your mind to process everything that he had just said to you. You gulped softly and smiled, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. 

    “Let’s start with dinner Okumura...,” You said softly, then you heard the first bell ring and smiled. “We’re gonna be late.” You sang before heading into the classroom. However, Rin stood frozen, with red cheeks. A wild large flame surrounded his body as he celebrated in the hallway. 

    “Yes! She likes me back! Oh shit I gotta make something good for dinner!” He cried happily, completely unaware...

    ...that you could hear him through the door. 

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, up through chapters 111 and 112 of SnK!

First, I just have to say a few things about Eren here and what a massive dick he was to Armin and Mikasa.  It’s hard as hell not to be pissed at Eren here, even knowing that he was trying to push his two best friends away in an attempt to keep them out of harm, and part of that is because, given what Eren later confesses to Armin, about not knowing what he was doing during this scene, I don’t think the way he treats them here IS entirely to protect them.  Armin says after the whole confrontation that Eren’s the one who’s a slave, specifically he says “You’re a slave too, and your master’s a worthless bastard.”  Eren has the gall to get offended by this, after he just spent the last however many minutes telling Armin and Mikasa both that they’re pathetic slaves with no will of their own.  But the important part here is what Armin says.  He’s referring, I think, to all of Eren’s worst traits as a human being.  He’s telling Eren that he’s let himself become a slave to the worst parts of his personality, the parts that want to hurt others, that finds gratification in hurting others.  That he’s letting himself be dictated by those ugliest, cruelest parts of himself.  I think part of Eren’s tirade against Armin and Mikasa was based very much in his honest feelings, those feelings of anger and hatred towards his best friends being born out of his own insecurity about himself.  He tells Armin that his constant attempts to “talk” are pathetic and worthless, and that Mikasa is only strong because of experiments conducted on the Ackerman bloodline.  Essentially, Eren is trying his very best here to strip away both Armin’s and Mikasa’s own merit, and cast their strengths and abilities in a negative light, treating those strengths as either weaknesses or as something unearned, some sort of freak accident of birth.  Eren goes particularly hard after Mikasa, trying to make her exceptional abilities seem somehow lesser or unimpressive because they’re only a byproduct of experiments done to other Ackerman’s over the centuries.  This smacks terribly to me of Eren taking out his own physical shortcomings on Mikasa and Armin both, blaming them for his own weakness.  Eren taunts Armin later while he beats the hell out of him, telling him they’ve never fought because it never would have been a “fair fight”, as if Eren himself was ever any kind of exceptional fighter.  It’s made a point of again and again early in the series that Eren isn’t particularly special or gifted in anything he does.  He isn’t a good fighter, he isn’t especially smart, he isn’t especially skilled.  But here we have him flaunting himself over Armin, as if Eren was ever some sort of uber bad-ass fighter who could destroy any opponent with ease.  It really does just come across as crippling insecurity on Eren’s part, on him acting out his self-loathing and insecurity in himself on his friends.  It’s really one of Eren’s lowest moments in the whole series, and especially because it doesn’t particularly feel like he doesn’t entirely mean it.  I think he does, to some extent.  

Anyway, okay, I also want to talk a little about Levi and how he reacts to the news of the Yagerists taking over the military, and Zeke’s involvement.  

What really strikes me here is Levi’s reaction to Pixis’ and the MPs plan to feed Eren to someone else, to give them the Founder.  Levi says to hell with that plan, and it’s really interesting to me, because this shows two things about Levi and how he regards Eren at this point.  It isn’t that he feels betrayed by Eren that Levi has his internal monologue about all his comrades dying in the line of duty while protecting Eren, it’s because he’s thinking about how all of those people died to protect Eren, only for the military to then turn around and render all of those sacrifices utterly meaningless by deciding to just feed Eren to whoever they choose.  A recurring and vital theme for Levi’s character throughout SnK is that he can’t abide meaningless death.  The thought of anyone dying or suffering in any way without reason, for Levi, is one of the worst things that can happen.  Pointless, meaningless death is a travesty to him.  And by deciding to just kill Eren then and there, to feed him to someone else, the military is basically shitting all over the deaths and sacrifices of an innumerable amount of Levi’s friends and comrades, essentially declaring those sacrifices null and void and pointless.  All these people will have died, it turns out, for nothing.  That’s why Levi calls the current situation they’re in a “farce”, because it’s made a joke out of all those lives lost.  And it’s why Levi won’t stand for it.  He refuses to let it happen, instead deciding it’s Zeke who should be fed to someone.  It must be more galling to Levi than just about anything, that these MPs, who never lifted a finger or sacrificed anything in order to fight for humanity’s survival have now taken it upon themselves to decide that all that effort, all those lives lost, all those morals compromised, all that blood gotten on the hands of the SC members for the betterment of humanity, meant nothing and was never necessary, that they’ll just kill Eren without any input or say from those people that sacrificed so much to keep Eren alive all this time.  And it’s not just the lives lost, like Mike’s, or Nanaba’s, or Nifa’s, or Erwin’s, or any of the other hundreds of SC’s members that died while protecting Eren, but also people like Jean and Armin having to get blood on their hands, going against their moral codes and now living with the burden of having taken lives, or Dimo Reeves essentially giving his life to protect Eren and Historia.  There’s any number of smaller sacrifices, on top of the lives lost, they’ve all made in order to protect Eren, because they all believed him to be essential to humanity’s future, that he was one of them, and could be relied on and believed in to always hold true to the ideals of the SC, to fight for humanity’s salvation.    The military’s decision to just kill Eren throws that belief back in the faces of the SC.  

I think, also, it’s interesting, because Levi’s still holding here to the possibility that Eren hasn’t betrayed them all.  He’s still showing that he believes in Eren, even as that belief is being strained and tested by everything that’s happening.  That Levi doesn’t just immediately wash his hands of Eren here, and say “Yeah, kill him.”, shows also that he still WANTS to believe in Eren, that all the hopes they put in him weren’t unfounded or for naught.  Even as he acknowledges that he doesn’t know if Eren is being controlled by Zeke or not, he still wants to give him the benefit of the doubt.  It shows that he still cares about Eren as a comrade and a friend.  He holds no such ties to Zeke, who’s done nothing but cause him pain and misery, and so Levi’s solution here makes sense.  Feed Zeke to one of the Yaegerists, then, after Historia gives birth, if she’s still willing, let her consume the Beast Titan.  Levi’s trying here to avoid killing Eren, both because he can’t bear the thought that all those people died for nothing, and also because he still feels loyalty and friendship towards Eren, which speaks to the depth of Levi’s dedication as a friend, honestly.  

Also, we get to see Levi’s suspicion of Zeke’s story about how and why he turned the people of Ragako into Titan’s validated, when it’s revealed that he lied about his spinal fluid, if consumed by Eldian’s, freezing them up.  The guy really is just a straight up liar.  And that particular deception of Zeke’s is what leads to the tragedy of what happens next, turning Levi’s comrades into Titans.  Like I said in my previous post, I think Levi was trying to genuinely glean if Zeke really was as heartless and uncaring as he appeared, trying to understand if there was some understandable reason behind his actions, and that he came the conclusion from reading Zeke’s tone, words and body language (just like Erwin says about Levi’s ability to see the true nature of man), that there isn’t any real humanity in Zeke at all.  And of course, what Zeke does here only proves that beyond any sort of doubt.  

Levi’s declaration here that he isn’t going to let Zeke dictate things any longer is Levi being fed up with these mind games and manipulations.  He’s known all this time that Zeke has been stringing them along, lying to them, using them, all with some ulterior motive and plan in waiting, even as he couldn’t know the details of those things, and Levi knows if he waits any longer to take Zeke out, things are going to reach a point of no return.  Levi’s instincts here are right, and have been from the start, but because he was beholden to the chain of command, he couldn’t act.  It’s the pussyfooting around that the military’s done up to this point, their indecision and fear, to trust Zeke, but also to have the balls to move against Zeke completely, that’s lead to things getting so out of hand.  Tragically, Levi’s decision here comes too late.  But man, he was ready to take matters into his own hands finally.  Someone should’ve listened to him sooner about Zeke.  They should’ve just killed his ass the second they had him on the island.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" from Marvel Studios' What If...

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Back when Marvel Studios announced the new lineup of films and shows, I was admittingly underwhelmed. Nothing we've seen so far has been poorly written, far from it, but during the announcement, nothing really popped out at me as worth getting excited for. That is, except for one series: Marvel Studios' What If... An animated series that changes the canon of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, all through the simple question. The question being, "What if this happened instead of that."

From the get-go, I was sold on this idea. I'm a sucker for hypothetical scenarios, thinking up all the ways of how some of my favorite stories in fiction could be drastically different thanks to one tiny change. Some might call that "Fanfiction the Series," and while you're not wrong, I fail to see how that's a criticism. Because fanfiction can be fun...just as long as you ignore the sick freaks, sure, but it still can be fun! So whether Marvel Studio's What If... is fanfiction or not, it still didn't change how excited I was to watch it. Was it all worth the hype? Well, to answer that question requires spoilers, so keep that in mind as we dive deep into Marvel's most ambitious project yet.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

The Watcher: Gonna get the generals out of the way before I talk about what I specifically like about this episode. Ok? Ok.

Now, using the Watcher as the narrator for this series is just perfect. What If... already has a similar energy to The Twilight Zone: An anthology series that takes viewers to new and mysterious realities all through the guidance of an omniscient narrator. And using the Watcher as that type of narrator might just be the second-best choice...number one would be Stan Lee, obviously, but...he's dead now. May he rest in peace.

I haven't read that many comics, so there's not much that I know about the Watcher's character aside from a ten-second Google search. But something tells me that a character described as a celestial being that observes and records the events surrounding the galaxy sounds like the exact type of omniscience to guide us through the unknown. All added with Jeffrey Wright's performance, who really does convey a character that sounds like he's as old as time and wise beyond his years. Plus, it's pretty cool that such a seemingly odd character now technically plays a major role in the MCU canon. Comics are weird, and if the Watcher proves anything, it's better to embrace that weirdness than deny it.

The Animation: Looks like someone watched Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse.

That really is the feeling I got when watching this. What If... doesn't look as good as Spiderverse (Nothing can be as good as Spiderverse), but the idea is still there as it combines primarily CGI animation with a few hand-drawn elements. It makes certain scenes just pop and, at times, even makes specific shots look like they're straight from panels in a comic book. Besides, while Spiderverse still looks better, that doesn't mean the animation isn't phenomenal in What If... The scenery looks gorgeous, the CGI models moderately match their live-action counterparts, the expressions are fantastic, and movements are as smooth as butter. There was definitely some money that went into this series to make it look as good as it did, and my eyeballs were more than grateful because of it. Especially when it comes to--

The Action: Holy s**t, was it a good thing that this series was animated!

The MCU has had its fair share of great fight scenes in the past, but it always felt restricted to what the big superhero fights could be due to everything needing to look "realistic." That all changes in What If... Because now that this series is animated, we can finally chuck realism out the window and allow these characters to be as epic as they were in the comics. The movements are swift, the blows look like they hurt, and best of all, you actually get to see characters fighting each other! There are no random cuts to hide the stunt doubles or weird camera angles to avoid audiences seeing how ugly the CGIed replacements are. We get to see all of the action with zero restraint, thanks to the fact that animation is limitless and allows writers to get away with literally anything. And shows like this make me wonder, "Why the hell isn't the MCU animated?"

Peggy as Captain Carter: It's here that we get into the specifics, and by golly, do I love me some Peggy Carter making a return. And what a return she made!

Seeing Peggy kick Nazi ass as Captain Carter is as awesome as it sounds as she gives a new definition of a "Strong, independent woman." She took s**t from no one and was more than willing to destroy anybody who said differently. It's a ton of fun for fans (the ones who aren't sexist, at least) and even fun for Peggy as well now that she gets a chance to wreck shop. However, that in itself could cause problems. If you watched Agent Carter (a great show, by the way), then you'll know that Peggy doesn't act as...somewhat meatheaded as she does here. As she said it herself, she's "usually more covert than this." And she is, as she was pretty much the first superspy in the MCU, who's impressive through how she effortlessly infiltrates her way to winning the day with diminutive requirements for fighting. So stripping that away gets rid of a core part of what makes her character so interesting. Although, in fairness, you could blame the fact that the reason she's acting like this is that the super-soldier serum is messing with her brain a bit. We've seen through U.S. Agent the reciprocations of the wrong person taking the serum, and while Peggy is far from the worst pick, there are hints of why Steve Rodgers was the best choice. Still, even though it's not the same Peggy Carter, that doesn't mean Captain Carter is a poor addition to the hero roster in the MCU. She's cool in all the right ways, even though they're drastically different from what made her compelling, to begin with.

Howard Stark: Another character I'm more than happy to see again!

Howard didn't leave that much of a grand of an impression in Captain America: The First Avenger, but in Agent Carter (Seriously, great show), he was a blast. You can just tell he was Tony Stark's father through all the ways he fast-talks in and out of problems and brilliantly comes up with solutions thanks to being tech-savvy. The main difference between Howard and Tony, however, is that Howard prefers to stay on the sidelines, where Tony learned to be more proactive. You get a sense of that in this episode. Because even though he goes to save the day, you can tell that he would rather be anywhere else. And, as a bonus, Howard's just funny. Probably not up there as one of the funniest characters in the franchise (Paul Rudd's Ant-Man reigns supreme), but he still cracks me up more times than not. Howard may be nothing more than a side character, but he'll always win me over no matter how small of a role he has.

Steve Rodgers in the Hydra Stomper: Don't mind me. Just admiring the fact that despite being crippled and skinny, Steve Rodgers still finds a way to fight the good fight, which is who Steve is to me. One of the best things about The First Avenger is that it fully understands the hero that is Captain America. Serum or not, he will do all he can to do the right thing and won't give up despite how many times others tell him he should. So if Steve's going to fly around in a suped-up Iron Man suit that's appropriately named "The Hydra Stomper," then Steve'll f**king soar. Because he is a gosh dang superhero, no matter what name he takes at the end of the day.

Fast-Forwarding Through Events: Some fans might take issues with this. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see all the little changes that Captain Carter makes to the story, but realistically that's not the best choice to make. Let's be honest, there's not that much to show other than what this episode did, and doing a full-on rewrite of Captain America: The First Avenger would have rubbed some fans the wrong way. Besides, from what I can tell, most of the What If... comics are one-shots that very rarely branch out into longer arcs. The primary goal is less to write this large-scale story and more of this self-contained narrative that does what it precisely delivers: Show fans a glimpse of what would happen if this happened instead of that. That's what we were given, and I can't really complain that much. I would have loved to have seen more, but I can learn to be happy with what I got.

Colonel Flynn Taking Credit: This guy is sexist and an idiot, and that's why I hate him...but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't at least chuckle when he said everything was his idea. It's such a scumbag move that I couldn't help but find the humor in it.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING !)nd Steve falling in love inThe First Avenger, which certainly wasn't helped by how they had these dumbass misunderstandings of each thinking the other was dating someone else. Here, they at least get to interact, confiding in one another about their insecurities and offer support when needed. And while it may be a little rushed, I'm more willing to believe their romance in under thirty minutes than I did in over two hours. It could have been better, but it also could have been much, much worse.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING AT THE TIME!)

“I won’t tell you anything.”/”He told me everything.”: That's the Peggy Carter I know and love! Added with a solid joke, too.

Steve’s Pratfall: It's nice to know that no matter what universe we see, Marvel is still funny.

Peggy’s Sacrifice: Much like Peggy and Steve's romance, I buy Peggy's sacrifice way more than Steve's. Several fans already pointed out how it makes no sense for Steve to crash the plane into the icy waters when it seemed like he had enough control to land it or could have easily jumped out after aiming for the crash landing. Here, there's a more legitimate reason why Peggy sacrifices herself. The monster was undefeatable, and the only way to stop it was to push it back through the portal. Peggy, being the only one strong enough to do so at the moment, was the only option, and there was no way where she didn't end up going through with the monster. Even her return makes more sense, as I think her being lost to time and space sounds more believable than Steve surviving being frozen in ice. Something no mortal man should live through. Peggy's sacrifice proves that while the MCU can't change its cannon past, the writers learn from their mistakes and make something better.

WHAT I DISLIKED

The Reasoning Behind Peggy Becoming Captain Carter: So, the idea that one small change can greatly alter the story we knew is a great one, and it's one of the main reasons why I was excited about this series...but how does Peggy staying in the room cause the Hydra agent to detonate the bomb early? I understand the ripples that come from the Butterfly Effect, but I feel like that's too big of a leap to reason how Peggy ends up taking the serum instead.

Colonel Flynn: How is it possible that this guy is somehow even more of a pain in the ass than the general he replaced? At least Chester Phillips had the decency to respect Agent Carter!

Red Skull is Still on the Dull Side: Red Skull isn't an awful villain, but he wasn't really a great one. It's the same here, as he's just as forgettable and wooden an episode of television as he was in a full-length movie. But at least he had a cooler death this time.

Sebastian Stan is Not a Great Voice Actor: He's not awful, but his talent really doesn't shine in this regard. Some people think that being an actor and a voice actor is the same thing, but it's not always the case. Through live-action, actors are given a chance to express emotion through their expressions, movement, and voice. With voice acting, actors still have to convey emotions, but strictly through their voice. Meaning that actors like Sebastian Stan are limited to what they're used to and can stumble a bit when trying to perform in a field of acting they're unfamiliar with. You can tell he was trying his best, but this type of thing can take far more practice for others to perfect.

“Whew. Thanks. You almost ripped my arm off.”: ...hhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHA! HA HA! Ah...oh man...I, uh...I felt the internal bleeding with that one. Wow. Just...wow.

Bucky Leaving After Steve “Died”: Ok, now that's the biggest bout of bulls**t I've ever heard. BUCKY WOULD BE WITH STEVE 'TILL THE END OF THE LINE AND WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT QUICKLY!

...This episode did Bucky dirty, didn't it?

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" is an A-. It's still a solid start of what I can already tell will be a great series, but some elements could have used some polishing out. I loved it, but it wasn't as bloody brilliant as it could have been.

(And I meant it: WATCH AGENT CARTER! It's pleasantly surprising!)

[emachinescat]

The Rich Girl Next Girl (Just Tried to Kill Me)

A Psych Fan-Fiction

By @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump ​ day 7 - poisoning 

Summary: Shawn will never complain about being ‘barely poisoned’ again after he’s ‘fully poisoned’ by a woman he’s investigating - via her poisoned lipstick and an non-consensual kiss.

Characters | Pairings: Shawn, Juliet, Henry, Gus, Lassie | Shawn/Juliet

Words: 3,199

TW: non-consensual kiss

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging! :)

It was the beautiful ones you had to watch out for.  

She was tall and dark haired, with green eyes that twinkled like twin emeralds, and high cheekbones and plump lips colored with the most devastating red Shawn Spencer had ever laid eyes on.  She had squeezed into a tiny black dress with an open back and plunging neckline, with legs that seemed like they would go on forever.  She wore closed-toe, diamond-studded, four-inch heels that perfectly matched the color of her lips.  

Somehow Shawn had managed to charm her into asking him to be her date to a charity gala at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, and he was very well aware of the many eyes on him as he moved through the crowd with her on his arm.

Well.  It would be more accurate to say that he was on her arm, because she was most definitely in charge, had been from the moment she’d picked him up her limo and she’d already had another, better tux waiting and pressed for him - and had refused to let him in the car until he’d made the switch.

She wasn’t only a total knockout, though - she was also a local celebrity, a socialite, born into enormous wealth but not the heir to the bulk of her late parents’ fortune.  That honor went to her older sister, who had, just a week ago, gotten into a terrible accident on her yacht.  Part of her had been recovered on the deck after the explosion.  The Coast Guard were still looking for the other part in the ocean.  They weren’t optimistic.

So now Aria Thorton, the twenty-seven-year-old millionaire goddess, was Shawn’s date to a high-end charity event, and they were the center of attention.  

Shawn should have been in heaven.

There were three things that dampened the occasion, though - for one, she thought he was a billionaire from two counties over named Chaz Hemsworth (no relation to Chris or Liam, but his rugged good looks and fabulous hair had made many people think he was).  

Then there was the fact that she was the SPBD’s number one suspect in her sister’s supposed-accident-but-Shawn-had-revealed-that-it-was-murder-yet-again case.  Hence, why she thought he was Chaz - he was undercover with the help of the police department, much to the chagrin of Lassie and Jules, because he was the best person for the job.  (Well, he had barged into the case and presented himself as Chaz Hemsworth, and she had been interested, and now he was the best chance they had since he was already on the inside and it was a time-sensitive case - just like he’d planned it).  

Oh, and the third thing was definitely the worst of them all: His actual girlfriend, the aforementioned Jules, was here too, acting as Lassiter’s date and ready to provide backup.  And she was pissed.  

Shawn forced himself to focus on the case, though.  Technically, he’d already solved it, put all the final puzzle pieces together, just half an hour before the gala.  But by that time, she was already at the luxury hotel the SBPD had reluctantly put him in as part of his cover (“Any snacks or room service ordered will be paid for by you, Mr. Spencer, not this department,” Chief Vick had warned with that iconic raised eyebrow of hers.  And no, she wasn’t going to sink funds into a ticket for Mr. Guster - Shawn had thrown himself into this investigation alone, so Gus would just have to sit this one out.  Needless to say, Gus had not been pleased.).  

Now, there were just a few more loose ends to tie, a few more t’s to cross and i’s to dot and little squiggly fancy things to add to capital S’s - namely, he needed to do the reveal.  And since Lassie and Jules would be at the gala anyway, it would be the perfect time to do the reveal (and he’d get to live it up as a male socialite for a few more hours).

He waited until he’d tested all the hors dourves (Why the hell had no one told him caviar was fish eggs and not really fancy boba, and that it did not taste good in even the fanciest of cocktails?), but as soon as the moment was perfect, he called everyone’s attention to him by accidentally-on-purpose smashing his cocktail glass with a knife a la the Princess Diaries, jumped onto the nearest table, and presented his case.

As he revealed the truth of the tragic death of Selena Thornton, and how her sister had taken freaking Skill Share lessons on yacht safety procedures so that she could backwards engineer them to arrange an accident for her sister and swoop up her portion of the inheritance, he noticed something odd - Aria didn’t try to get up, she didn’t argue or yell something like, “That’s ridiculous!” or “You have no proof!” or even “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you muddling, hunky psychic!”  Instead, she opened her shimmering handbag, calmly applied some sort of thick balm to her lips.  Then she pulled out her lipstick and reapplied it.  Maybe if Shawn hadn’t been so focused on his wrap-up, he would have noticed that the lipstick was the same shade, but that it came from a different tube than when she’d reapplied earlier.  Later, in his hospital bed, he would kick himself for missing that tiny, crucial detail.

He finished by announcing, “And remember, folks - this murder reveal was brought to you by Skill Share.”

And then he was getting off the table, and Jules was preparing the cuffs while Lassie held Aria, and the rest of the rich guests were sitting in stunned silence or otherwise whispering among themselves, already spreading the gossip for the next Tabloid, he was sure.  Then, out of nowhere, the formerly docile homicidal heiress lashed out, slamming the pointed heel of her left shoe - it looked like the heel had been shoved into a pencil sharpener - into the top of Lassie’s foot, buried the elbow of her perfectly tanned right arm into Juliet’s stomach, and broke away from the detectives.

Shawn thought she would turn tail and run, try to escape, but to his shock (and confusion), she lunged straight for him, zooming forward in those ridiculous heels with a speed and grace Shawn couldn’t even achieve with sneakers.  He braced himself for an attack, got ready to defend himself, even as Lassie and Jules recovered and dove for the sabotaging socialite.

They were too late.

What happened next was the literal opposite of what Shawn had anticipated.  She crushed her body into his, grabbed his face the way they do in every rom com ever, and pressed her lips against his in a kind of tender but still somehow aggressive kiss.

For a moment, he stood in shock, trying to process what the hell was happening.  Was she glad he’d caught her?  Did she look forward to being stripped of her wealth and going to prison for life?

Then he realized that as pleasant as her soft lips were against his, he had not authorized this transaction, and even though she was a rich, drop-dead gorgeous socialite, she was also a sister-killer, and his girlfriend whom he loved very much was watching, and he pulled back.  She held on, forcing her lips on his even as he tried to squirm away from her touch.  Her expertly manicured fingernails dug into his skin, and left scratches on the side of his neck when Lassie and Jules dragged her off of him.

Shawn stumbled back, neck stinging where she’d scratched him, lips tingling where she’d kissed him.  He could taste her lipstick - it didn’t taste like cherries like he’d thought.  It didn’t taste good at all.  He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and spun on Aria Thorton, who was now being wrestled into cuffs and passed off to waiting police officers.  “Hey, I know I’m irresistible,” he said, trying to fight off his growing discomfort at the kiss - any other time, he’d probably be thrilled to have a beautiful woman throw herself at him and surprise him with an attack-kiss, “but I’ve got a girlfriend.  And she’s way more hot and bad-ass than a homi-sister like you.”

Jules turned to him and there was a little smile on her face that told him maybe he wasn't as deep in the doghouse as he'd thought.  “Homi-sister?”  

“Yeah,” said Shawn, rubbing absently at his chest.  He needed to change out of this tux.  It was too hot, and it was too tight.  “Sister-murderer.  Like homicide, but for sisters.”

“Sororicide,” Lassiter corrected.  

“I’m sorry, Lassie, when did you take on the role of Scooby Doo?  I can only keep up with one fictional dog at a time, man.”  Beads of sweat popped up on his forehead.  A muscle twitched in his upper arm.

“It’s the actual term for killing one’s sister,” Lassie sneered derisively.

Shawn opened his mouth to retort, but he coughed instead.   And suddenly he couldn't stop coughing, and his chest was being squeezed, and the muscle in his arm jumped again, this time painfully, and he promptly deposited a disgusting mixture of fourteen varieties of hors dourves on Lassiter’s shoes.  A strong hand grabbed his upper arm and kept him semi-upright even as Lassiter groaned, “These are $400 loafers, and they’re rentals!”

“Shawn!”  Juliet’s face had gone white, Shawn noticed through tears and haze as she surged forward and gently lifted his chin with her delicate hand.  

He struggled to answer her, but his chest was so tight, and his left calf muscle contracted then, and all that came out was a strangled cry of pain.

“Call an ambulance - now!”  Lassiter’s voice was far away, though Shawn could have sworn that the head detective was standing right by his side, keeping him from face-planting in his own caviar and cocktail sludge.

Vaguely, over the sound of screams and murmurs and cries of alarm, he heard Juliet’s voice, scarier than he’d ever heard it before - he’d never been so convinced she was about to murder someone before - growl, “What did you do to him?”

He never got the chance to hear if Aria Thornton gave up her dark little secret.  His eyes rolled up into his head, and, muscles twitching and lungs scrambling for air, he passed out.

***

He woke up to pain.

It was a slow process, getting his eyelids to cooperate, but he could feel a soft hand in his, and he would know it anywhere, and someone was crying.

When his vision had cleared enough for him to make out more than just blobs of color, he saw Juliet sitting slumped in a hard plastic chair by his bedside.  Sure enough, it was her hand in his.  But she was fast asleep, her neck crooked back at an awkward angle and small, adorable snores wafting out of her slightly parted lips.  So it wasn’t her who was crying.

His gaze dragged languidly to the right, and everything made sense.  Gus was in the chair next to her, quietly sobbing into his hands.  Poor bastard.  

Shawn spoke, his voice raw and trembling and the effort seemed to squeeze every bit of air out of his already starved lungs.  “G-Gus?”

Gus’s head snapped up, he leaped out of his chair, and in a loud voice reminiscent to an all-black hallelujah choir, he exclaimed, “Shawn!”

Juliet startled awake, her hand instinctively squeezing his, and he saw the worry in her stormy blue eyes as soon as they landed on him.  She smoothed his sweaty hair from his forehead.  “Thank God you’re awake.  How are you feeling?”

Shawn didn’t answer immediately, but let his eyes wander around the room, confirming what he already knew.  He was in a hospital - a private room - and there was a heart monitor beeping above him and an IV lead ran from his hand to a pole, where two different bags were feeding his veins with who knew what.  He took a moment to remember what had happened and shuddered internally when he thought of the kiss of death.  

It took everything he had in him to speak again, but he had to know where he stood, “S-so, more than b-barely poisoned this time?”

Juliet laughed, a short, manic sound of mingled relief and exasperation.  “Yeah, a lot more than barely,” she agreed.

Shawn didn’t get to enjoy his moment of validation, because his left pectoral muscle spasmed, knocking the air out of his lungs and sending bolts of agony through his chest.  It was like the muscle was twisting itself into the most complex pretzel known to man.  An agonized guuuh burst from his mouth and he grasped at his chest, as if trying to tear the pain away.

Gus was panicking now, tears still streaming down his face, and Jules looked stricken.  Shawn was certain he was actively dying now and tried to call for help.  The door to his room burst open and distantly, beneath the mound of pain that had erupted in his muscle, he heard his father’s voice.

“Jules - it looks like it’s his chest.  Massage it.  Remember, small, gentle circles.  Gus, pull it together, you’re just making him panic.”  And then he could feel Jules gently massaging the screaming muscle, and Gus hiccuped into relative silence, and his father was there, seated in a chair on the other side of the bed.  He grabbed Shawn’s hand - the one with the IV - and for a wild moment, Shawn was convinced his father was going to rip it out like he had the last time his son had been poisoned.

But instead, he held on firmly to Shawn’s hand and said, “Squeeze as hard as you need to, pal.  Ride it out.  It’ll be over soon.”

The heart monitor was screeching now, and a nurse ran in just as the spasm was beginning to ebb, leaving the entire muscle feeling weak and squishy like play-doh.  She injected something into one of Shawn’s IV bags and checked his temperature and fed him ice chips and told him to try to rest and be patient, that it wouldn’t be long until the spasms would stop.  She might have told him her name at some point, but he didn’t hear.

Whatever she’d given him made him sleepy, and he felt his twitching, tense muscles relax the tiniest of fractions, and the last thing he saw before falling asleep was his father’s face leaning over him.  He must have been hallucinating, because he could have sworn that his father’s eyes were red and puffy and that there were tear-tracks down his face.

***

The next time Shawn woke up, he was still sore, and his muscles still gave the occasional, defiant twitch, but he wasn’t in blood-curdling agony anymore, so it was a definite improvement.  This time when he woke, no one was crying, and his dad had washed his face, but his eyes were still rimmed with red.

“What happened to me?” Shawn asked, his voice weaker than he could ever remember.  “What the hell was in that lipstick?”

His dad chuckled humorlessly, not because anything was funny but because it wasn’t crying.  “You figured out it was the lipstick, then?”

“I’m psychic, dad, remember?”  Shawn had put the pieces together the first time he’d woken up, but he’d been too out of it to realize he’d made the connection.

Henry didn’t dignify that with a response.

“I can’t believe you went to a millionaire’s gala and almost died, Shawn!” Gus chided irritably.  “If I had been there -”

“You would have hyperventilated and passed out on your plate of hor dourves,” Henry finished dryly, and Shawn couldn’t help but grin.

Juliet was the one who brought the conversation back around to his question.  “She refused to talk, so we took her purse and had her fingernail polish, lip balm, and lipstick tested for toxins,” she informed him.  “We thought that she might have done it when she scratched you, but it was the lipstick that was poisoned.  The lip balm was actually a protective buffer between her lips and the lipstick so that the poison wouldn’t reach her skin.”  With a heavy sigh, Juliet revealed, “It was VX poison.”

“What’s that?” Shawn asked.  “It sounds like something from a spy thriller.”

“It’s a nerve agent,” Gus supplied.  “It can be made into gas, but it’s base form is about the consistency of gasoline.  It’s super fast-acting, especially when inhaled or ingested, even in small amounts like with you, and it causes muscle spasms, respiratory issues, nausea, headaches, fever, and a whole lot of other nasty symptoms.”

“But there’s a cure?”

“Atropine and pralidoxime,” Gus answered promptly, and Shawn resisted the very strong urge to tell his best friend to, for the love of every 80s movie they’d ever loved, get a hobby.  “Both were administered the second the results came back.  It was a close call, but thankfully they were administered on time - though it was touch and go for a bit.  The nurse gave you another dose of a muscle relaxer the first time you woke up.  The other drip is saline.”

“I guess the real question is how the psychotic rich girl next door got ahold of poison like that in the first place,” Shawn muttered, head swimming and eyes burning and body feeling like it had been run over by a monster truck.

Juliet answered promptly: “Lassiter was finally able to crack her.  Turns out she’s also got some contacts in the black market.  She had that tube of lipstick custom-made and infused with VX two years ago in case any of her many boyfriends cheated on her.  Surprisingly, she hadn’t used it until you came along, but when you exposed the truth, it was her way of getting revenge.   She knew there was no way she was going to be able to escape, so she decided to take you down with her.”

“Damn,” said Shawn, faintly.  He was drifting off again, but he was so happy to be alive, to see his friends - even his dad, imagine that! 

“Go back to sleep, Shawn,” Henry ordered.  “It’s going to take a while for you to heal, and you’ll need all the rest you can get.”

Not knowing what had come over him, blaming the poison and trauma for the words that spilled unbidden from his lips, he found himself asking, “And you guys will be here?  Next time I wake up?”  

Gus grinned and leaned over to give Shawn a one-sided fist bump, and Juliet kissed him delicately on the forehead.  His dad ruffled his hair in a manner that could almost be construed as affectionate if he wasn’t careful.

“You bet your ass we will.”

Overall, Shawn reflected as he allowed sleep to claim him, being fully poisoned fully sucked, but it was kind of nice getting a glimpse of just how much his friends and family cared. 

They could find other opportunities to show their love in the future though. Shawn had had enough of poison, barely, fully, or otherwise, for a lifetime. 

[extraordinarilyextreme]

the twins (and Zhao Yunlan)

Warning: spoilers for the drama adaptation of Guardian (2018), some references to the novel, more mediocre translations between Chinese and English, some psychoanalysis, and more music analysis

first, props to the kings that are Zhu Yilong and Bai Yu for such astounding portrayals of their characters! the fact that Zhu Yilong has to shift between two characters—one of whom is in love with Yunlan and the other who thrives on hatred—is just... wow. and Bai Yu? like speaking from Yunlan’s perspective, imagine someone who wears the same face as your lover but holds all the wrong beliefs, all the contradicting beliefs, how heartbreaking that must be :(

the twins certainly break my heart (broke and continue to shatter relentlessly, which means i need to read more fix-it fics) because there’s just so much potential for them both??? this is why i’m such a sucker for fics where the twins work together (i.e., they share the burden of the Black Cloaked Envoy); they are equals, they should have been equals. they lost their parents at a young age; it was literally just the two of them against the world, and then the writers had the audacity to tear them apart and not just tear them apart, but make them enemies smh

(i just want me some brotherly teasing and shenanigans, is that so much to ask for? i want the twins to look out for each other but also irritate each other to no end, but they’d also never think twice about protecting each other)

anyway. right. equals. in the novel, these two are born as twin ghost kings with the same powers and same level in powers [if i’m not mistaken], but it was ultimately only Xiao Wei who caught the attention of the god Kun Lun. the drama mimics this as well with the powers the two Dixingren have: Shen Wei can learn other Dixingren’s powers, Ye Zun can consume other Dixingren and thus use their powers. their abilities are probably purposefully meant to be quite similar; this is just one of many instances where the twins, when stripped of all context, are virtually identical. but when you add in context, then the difference is of course that Ye Zun devours for himself whereas Shen Wei learns more in order to protect others. 

let’s look at how the way they interact with others provides more insight into their fundamental motivations. Professor Shen is polite, gentle, kind; Shen Wei has a near-obsession with the way he looks after Yunlan and the rest of the kids at the SID. (think about how after Ye Zun “devoured” Shen Wei and Shen Wei was mortally wounded when he saw Lin Jing... and his first instinct was to smile to provide reassurance and say how happy Yunlan would be if he knew Lin Jing hadn’t died.) Shen Wei lives to give and provide; he shares his life force with Yunlan to heal his eyesight, he does everything in his power to maintain the peace between Dixing and Haixing, he wants to uphold this hard-won peace because he knows what it’s like to lose everything, and he knows the cost of this peace and the treaty in place. his self-esteem is shot to hell—look at how many damn times he tries to sacrifice himself because he thinks he’s dispensable, because he believes this is all he’s good for. Shen Wei believes he HAS to provide for the people around them in order for them to stay. after all... wasn’t it his own fault, because he was too powerless, because he couldn’t do more, because he couldn’t give more, that he lost his younger brother and he lost Kun Lun?

now let’s shift gears to Ye Zun. Ye Zun focuses a lot on the desires of others in order to manipulate them (i.e., he asks Chief Zhao what he wants in one of the latter episodes, so that they may work together instead and is infuriated by the idea of a man who does not want anything). first, why this tactic? Ye Zun was captured by the Rebel Chieftain; his powers hadn’t awoken yet, so the only way he could be useful, could stay alive, was by pleasing the Chieftain. Ye Zun similarly feels he has to provide and again, like his brother, lives to provide and deliver. see? stripped of all context, both twins believe they need to give the people around them what they want in order to have meaning/live. second, in addition, Ye Zun knows first-hand what it’s like to be controlled and manipulated by others; he knows precisely what it feels like to have his mind, his thoughts, his feelings violated by someone else. it helps (?) that he also freaking devoured the Chieftain so that Ye Zun can literally use that mind control ability. he focuses on desires because he understands, perhaps too much, just how effective this manipulation tactic is. 

what about the way they talk? (another shoutout to Zhu Yilong for his phenomenal delivery of their lines again! i dont think i can credit a VA because, if i’m not misremembering, this show didn’t use much dubbing if at all, at least for two leads) Shen Wei is rather soft-spoken, patient, quiet and Ye Zun... Ye Zun is the same. Ye Zun usually does his whisper-rasp thing which 1) makes me incredibly anxious 2) might be because he’s been trapped in a pillar for 10 thousand years and hasn’t exactly had a corporeal body with tangible vocal cords to use 3) more importantly, sounds placating. Ye Zun speaks to tantalize because he seeks to manipulate. but why else would he want to placate? he grew up as a slave; it’s been ingrained in him that he shouldn’t raise his voice, it’s a survival tactic to not piss off his enemies/people with more power. Shen Wei also speaks to placate, but he speaks with no ulterior motive; if he approaches a spooked animal, he wants to help it. if Ye Zun approaches a spooked animal, he wants to ruin it. 

but wait, neither of them are always so placid you say, and well, of course, and Ye Zun definitely isn’t always so calm. Ye Zun has outbursts of excitement, anger (and you’ll find that the pissed off Envoy sounds very similar...); despite the mask he wears, Ye Zun is very childish. he wears his heart on his sleeve so to speak; he smiles when he’s delighted, frowns when he’s disappointed. he’s often more expressive than his brother even though Ye Zun tends to be the one who wears the literal mask when they appear in the same scenes. he never really grew up “normally” so to speak, which is why he’s so fucking furious that Shen Wei shared his life force with Yunlan. yet another grievance from the older brother! “it’s too boring!” Ye Zun complains, now that his brother is weakened and they aren’t equals anymore; it’s too boring, this game is too boring. Ye Zun is a child.

let’s also consider Ye Zun’s obsession with power. he went from slave to leader of the Rebels in a blink of an eye; what kind of freaking backlash must that have had on his psychological state? he’s hungry for power because it’s all he knows. “i am the master, you are the slave,” he taunts Shen Wei. “where is home? i’ve had no home since the day you abandoned me,” he tells Shen Wei.

“i’m your older brother,” Shen Wei reminds Ye Zun. “i never abandoned you,” Shen Wei explains softly to Ye Zun. if all Ye Zun knows is power (think survival of the fittest), then Shen Wei falls back on family, on love. he lost his blood family young, but then Kun Lun fell into his life and lit up his entire world. the Envoy protects his own people and Haixingren best as he can. Professor Shen has his students to look after. Shen Wei has Yunlan and the family at SID. Shen Wei didn’t grow up “normally” either, but he certainly grew up in a kinder world, and he definitely at least grew up knowing what it felt like to be loved.

Ye Zun: “I want to reform this world [...] This world is filthy.”

Ye Zun wants to destroy the world and recreate it; the “system” failed him. Shen Wei wants to protect the world by improving it; he knows the “system” isn’t perfect, but he also knows there are people living in the status quo and he has no right to strip them of that. Ye Zun sees the way his brother abandoned him, the way he himself was forced to survive; Shen Wei sees all the people he loves and needs to continue to protect.

now let’s turn to the respective relationships of the twins with Zhao Yunlan. i think i’ve mentioned this in my previous Guardian analysis textpost but one of the best things about WeiLan imo is that they’re both so fundamentally good. their ideals to uphold the peace and protect not just the people they love, but all people in need of protecting, are perfectly aligned. (this is also why i like WangXian from mdzs/the untamed)

Ye Zun, interestingly, comments that he and Yunlan are the same kind of person—someone who would stop at nothing for their goals. if Yunlan and Shen Wei match, then the younger twin is right. think of the Envoy’s solemn declaration that even the mountains would not stand in the way of him upholding his promise. WeiLan literally lose their lives for their shared goals. 

Ye Zun also mocks his brother that Shen Wei will be just like him, alone. but this condemnation doesn’t stem from the younger twin; the root of this lies with Kun Lun. i didn’t get why in the novel Kun Lun supposes it might have been better to kill Shen Wei at first... it’s because Kun Lun condemns him to thousands of years of loneliness both in drama and in novel. in the drama, when young Shen Wei brings up a what-if, Kun Lun (Yunlan) interrupts him and tells him that Shen Wei would still make this same choice, would still bear this same heavy burden. it is a condemnation, but it is also further proof of this understanding that ties WeiLan together. it is a condemnation, and yet it completes the string of fate and their infinite, cyclical love story.

Kun Lun (Yunlan) asks Shen Wei to forgive him if he has to disappear without warning one day. ten thousand years later, Shen Wei leads his little brother away, sparing just a few minutes to smile at Yunlan and return that lollipop wrapper to him. Shen Wei then walks away because he has complete faith that Yunlan will not blame him or curse him for it, no matter how heartbroken he will be. Shen Wei could forgive Kun Lun; Yunlan easily forgives Shen Wei.

(there’s also the parallel of betting between the twins. Ye Zun bets Yunlan on who will die first—the people Yunlan wants to protect, or Ye Zun. Shen Wei bets on whether or not he and Yunlan will find each other again. the younger twin bets with hatred and on death, the older bets with love and on life.)

i’ve said before that Yunlan brings out the human in Shen Wei. Yunlan brings out the human because they inspire love in each other; they are in love with each other. but Ye Zun, the dear little brother, also brings out the human in Shen Wei because this is truly the only blood family he has left. 

the last time we see Shen Wei’s glasses is before Ye Zun tortures his older brother; Shen Wei from then on is simply Shen Wei, no Professor, no Envoy. when he stands before them all, he is Ye Zun’s older brother, and he is Zhao Yunlan’s lover. when he blocks the blow, his theme begins to play—melancholic, calm, steady. his choice to protect Yunlan is fundamentally Shen Wei. ten thousand years prior, when the Envoy breaks the mask of the new leader of the Rebels, Shen Wei’s theme also plays. his little brother has been returned to him; Shen Wei is complete. his theme plays a final time when Shen Wei explains he never abandoned Ye Zun because again, his twin Ye Zun—like his lover Zhao Yunlan—completes Shen Wei as a character. Shen Wei is a character built entirely from love, from family. when he appears as a spirit to bring Ye Zun home, to offer family, Shen Wei is wearing the Envoy’s outfit of ten thousand years ago. the twins also complete a circle; the story begins with their wrongful separation, the story ends with their bittersweet reunion.

let’s continue with this music analysis! the Black Cloaked Envoy’s theme is 《万年不负》or “Have Not Failed/Disappointed for Ten Thousand Years”. he upholds his promise to Kun Lun/Yunlan to protect the peace between Haixing and Dixing for ten thousand years in the drama and five thousand years in the novel (he also protects the Great Seal in the novel that Kun Lun protected). Ye Zun’s theme is 《染灵》or “Dyed/Tainted Spirit”. Think about how dirty he believes this world to be, and how he proclaims “10 thousand years have passed. I can finally wipe off my disgrace!” (also how he’s a ghost king/hungry ghost in the novel from the Unclean Realm/Hell). 

Here’s a quote from the novel:  “我连魂魄都是黑的，唯独心尖上一点干干净净地放着你，血还是红的，用它护着你，我愿意。”

[Even my soul is black, only my heart where I’ve placed you is clean; there my blood is red, I’m willing to use it to protect you.]

i dont really remember the context of this quote but i think it’s the novel equivalent of where Shen Wei cuts his wrist for Yunlan. anyway it parallels the drama quote where Shen Wei says something like “my eyes are black, my hair is black, even my soul is black... but my blood is red.” it’s just another callback to the novel i think, that the twins are in fact twin ghost kings from the Unclean Realm. (and Kun Lun is a god. thinking about Xiao Wei curbing his bloodlust to become worthy of a god’s love and attention always makes me sob)

both pieces are commanding, lots of brass, but the Envoy’s is a quiet kind of commanding. an unnoticed protector, hovering just out of focus; perhaps a touch unsettling that he’s always there, but also a relief that his presence is a reliable constant. (think of when the SID first summons the envoy and he kind of melts out of the smoke like an unobtrusive shadow) Ye Zun’s is much louder; you cannot miss him, you will witness his triumph. consider how Ye Zun wears a gold mask and a white outfit, as if he were in the spotlight; the Envoy wears all black with only hints of silver. (perhaps the younger twin desperately wanted out from his brother’s long shadow.) 

the scene at the Dixing bar near the end when Yunlan retrieves the lantern. Ye Zun, dressed as the Envoy, enters and wow for a moment you can see all the hope and love in Yunlan’s face ;-; it’s Ye Zun’s theme that accompanies this false Envoy... and it almost lulls you into a false sense of victory. but it’s not the victory that Shen Wei has returned; it’s Ye Zun’s victory that he’s, in a sense, taken over/overpowered and “dethroned” his brother at last. (huge props to Bai Yu again; god i can’t even imagine... the love of your life dying to protect you but wait here he is but no it’s your worst enemy but they share the same face UGH)

the piece that plays when Kun Lun is sucked back by the wormhole is 《诀焰》or “Farewell Flame”. i think it also plays when he’s gonna sacrifice himself to light the Lantern. it sounds triumphant... but at what cost?

and the final piece i want to mention here is 《默守》or “Silently Guarding” and it’s kind of a rearrangement of WeiLan’s theme of 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time”. it plays when Shen Wei leaves his amber pendant behind for Yunlan to open. i always assumed this piece was from Shen Wei’s perspective but thinking again... this pendant, this lollipop wrapper, this memory of Kun Lun are what has kept Shen Wei going for so long. Zhao Yunlan is the one who has protected Shen Wei for so long. they will always protect each other. their love is a fated one.

anyway, listen to the soundtrack! rewatch and cry! if you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading~

[popculturebuffet]

OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes!: You’re Everybody’s Sidekick Review

OK KO was easily one of the best animated series of the 2010′s and i’ll stand by those words. The brainchild of Ian Jones Quartlery, voice of Wallow in Bravest Warriors and more importantly former head writer for Steven Universe, and current longtime romantic partner of that series creator Rebecca Sugar. That part isn’t AS important, but I still find it sweet.  Anyways OK KO was the story of K.O., a 6-11, not my own laziness for once but the show’s own way of doing age, year old boy who wants to be the best like no one ever was. In this case i’ts being a hero in a world that’s basically like if someone took the marvel universe and smashed a retro game collection and a pile of manga on top of it and then blended up the result and shot it full of gamma rays. Full of heroes of all kinds ranging from those fighitng crime to those who just want to loiter outside strip malls or cut hair.  To achieve this goal KO gets a job at Gar’s Bodega, the combination of your average bodega (for those unfamiliar with the term, i’ts a convience store) and a video game item shop, so the slurpee machine is right next to the power ups and ninja stars, and everything from skateboard polish to Spread Guns is avaliable. The bodega is owned by Mr.Gar, a mustachiosed muscle man whose basically a shoutier mexican version of MIke Haggar but with shades and a mustache. So a somehow better version of him, though with him being busy watching over the plaza itself, doing secret hero missions and what not the day to day operations are left to two teens: Rad, a muscle bound dude bro alien with telekenisis and a secret heart of gold and Enid, a cynical, slacker ninja whose also bilogically a witch because her parents are a vampire and a werewolf. So the series follows these three as they run the boedega, grow as people and fight the robots that frequently attack the plaza sent by the evil Lord Boxman who hates the place literally because it’s there and it’s existance annoys him. This is the canon explination and it is utterly hilarious.  The series was funny, had great character work, decent ongoing stories, great jokes and a fun tone that could go from meaningful and well thorught ot utterly batshit from episode to episode and was sadly canceled after 3 seasons because Cartoon Network is kinda stupid right now and dosen’t know how to handle a superhero show that still makes action a priority, but it did get a solid ending, a slew of great crossovers and a decent amount of representation under i’ts belt.  WHich brings us to today and the start of RED ACTION WEEK: A week dedicated to the series most prominent gay character and the bisexual ninja witch who loves her. I’m covering all 5 of Red’s more prominent apperances... I was just going to do the red/enid episodes but decided this was a better introduction to the series itself, as well as the fact it allows her character arc to better tie together by her final episode, which directly uses this one as a major plot point. I also threw Plaza Prom in there since, even if she’s only a supporting character, it’s still one of her few major apperances, is part of her final major episode, is one of my faviorites, and the climactic dance fights is one of the most intentionally homoerotic fight scenes i’ve seen in some time. With all that out of the way, let’s do this after the cut. 

We start at Gar’s Bodega, just after the opening two parter, with KO starting his first day of work, part of the reason this episode is a fairly smooth introduction into the show. Not even in the door he accidently shoryukyn’s joe cuppa, a stand up comedian with a cup of coffee in the big time for a head... I told you anything goes and I meants it.  After that accident, we find Enid at the counter, ignoring the customers before shooing them away and when KO asks for work, plays along with his enthusasim and tells him to clean the store.. which he does in minutes, before being told to sort the penny dish, and while he does the two discuss KO’s love of helping people: KO just genuinely thinks that’s part of his job, the right thing to do and feels good while Enid.. dosen’t feel it’s worth the effort and people are just generally ungreatful and not worth it.  I really like this scene for showing off their character dynamic beautifully: It starts showing that while at this stage Enid is largely an asshole, she does care about K.O. and while he’s cleaning, despite usually turning customers away, still let’s Ginger, an elderly patron and one of KO’s mom’s dojo customers, not only check out but pay in freaking pennies. It shows that try as she might, Enid really isn’t a cyncial or heartlesss as she claims. It’s also nice setup for later in the season as, and as i’m sure Ian Jones Quartlery and crew were preparing for, we later DO see why Enid hates people so much: her best friend, possibly more, Elodie, who i’ll certainly be covering eventually, betrayed her for a spot at Point Prep, basically UHA or Xavier’s for this world and claimed their friendship was just a ploy (It wasn’t, but again, story for another time), while her one date with Rad went terribly due to him acting like a huge jackass at the advice of his even bigger jackasses of friends. It’s easy to see why she stopped carring: When she opened up in the past it only lead to her being hurt and alone. K.O.... is the opposite. He genuinely belivies in everyone and tries to help them because, as said above, it’s just what he does and what he belivies a hero should be... he hasn’t been hurt or influenced by assholes like his friends, and thus is able to get them to open up. It’s a wonderful dynamic and I love it.  And naturally, KO is determined to help Enid see the light, with Enid responding with the wonderful line “You’ll never melt my icy heart”... give him a few more episodes Enid, give him a few more episodes.  So K.O. Decides to set out helping people, shouting about it to enid back at the store as he does because he’s 6-11 and kids in that age range are many things, but subtle is not one of them. He starts with Geoff and Nick Army, a monk and gay duke nukem reflectivity who despite having polar oppositie personalities, are both a couple, as confirmed by the creative team and then the finale, and a crime fighting duo who are having a dispute over opening a pickle jar with the good old ultra violence or non violence, which KO solves by letting both do it once, which results in a pickle jar explosion, both men in their underwear and everyone happy, especially the shippers.  KO continues his quest, going to Logical Cuts where we meet Mr.Logic, a robot who has a rather moving and well done backstory we’ll certainly get to, and is voice by James Urabanik, aka the voice of Rusty Venture on the venture bros, to my utter delight. And yes i’ll be covering the venture bros eventually, and might be this month. His customer, another one of KO’s mom’s regulars, is upset because her haircut isn’t right while Mr.Logic is upset, well as upset as a monotone robot can convey, that his usually 100% mathmatically perfect haircuts are off. KO pitches in and the new result is perfect, with both being greatful. 

KO’s next stop on his good will help people crying for help tour, after the above bit of wonderful art shift as that version of ko moveds like a south park character for some reason. Anyways, it turns out best friends, co workers and the dante and randal of this show, i.e.two best friends working a dead end job who despite arguing a lot need each other, A Real Magical Skeleton, self explaintory and Greg, a bear, are having an argument because RMS is trying to do their job and frame a baseball for a guy while Greg is being a dickhead and playing the drums constantly. As you can probably wager, I do not like Greg, probably more than rusty, partly because a future episode has him making KO doubt his macaroni art gift for his mom so he can eat it, yes really,and partly because he’s less intresting than his buddy and yet the two are shipped frequently despite my honest assumption they’d kill each other.. much like if dante and randall finally banged. However if you do ship them, I have no hostility with you. Unlike say loudcest or shipping sam with lincoln over at the loud hosue, there's nothing wrong with RMS X Brandon, it’s just not for me.  Anywho KO solves it in the hilarious and awesome manner of just putting Brandon inside one of those baseball cube things... it’s a shame he apparently gave him air holes but whatever. Proud of himself, K.O. plans to head back when he runs into the Ally Teens: Red Action, rude teen warrior from the future who just had a bad haircut, Drupe, a sentient strawberry because of course, and Greg, Drupe’s nonbinary best friend and combination of one of the bone cousins and Woodstock. K.O. offers to help and , with the trio being huge steaming bowls of elephant piss at this point, they instead trick him into waiting in a lava flow and then have drupe whip him every time the lava causes him to cartoonishily jump in the air.  Yeah despite both Red Action and Drupe going on to having supporting roles, like our good pal tom, who I will get back to this month, there isn’t nearly as much wiggle room in their first apperance. With Tom Lucitor, he was a dick.. but you could make the case, even just off that ep that he genuinely dosen’t know HOW to be a good person or that what he’s doing is sketchy at best. Here, it’s fairly obvious the ally teens know setting a child on fire and using vine whip on him super effectively is wrong, that’s why their doing it. Red, being that special brand of asshole, posts it on social media. I mean posting a video of yourself hurting a child, that’s Tucker Carlson level’s of dickery right there. Stone cold. Enid sees it and is understandably concerned, and goes over to see if KO’s allright when he returns and is forced to explain to him that no they weren’t laughing with him, they were laughing at him and were just being dicks. Also he wasn’t in lava, it was magma. It was above ground. 

K.O. glumly wonders why and Enid reitrates this kind of shit is why she dosen’t help people. K.O. also wonders how she saw it and we find out Enid is basically facebook stalking red action on her social media, as you do, and that Red’s been on a bit of a tear lately, smashing up shit and farting in Geoff’s face all because she got a bad haircut, with K.O. , likely going thorugh more of her posts, realizing theirs a pattern: When bad things happen to her she lashes out at others.. just like Enid. I do like the parallel there: Enid likely has a crush on her because the two are fairly similar.. but Enid runs cold and tens to be standoffish as a result of her past, while Red tens to take out her anger and frustration on everyone else and runs red hot. But they come together because opposities attract... it’s what noble laurite MC Scat Kat taaught us after all.  K.O. however, having Steven Universe level’s of empahty and an equal sense of wanting to help, and just as few boundries as he had as a tween, decides that it’s clear the ally teens have underlying issues to adress and gets Enid help to look at their social media. Returning to the ally,and seemingly unphased by earlier, K.O. sets out helping them, starting by helping red get her haircut fixed by Mr. Logic. Red is adorably delighted. Moving on K.O. notes that Drupe basically just follows Red’s lead but has a fashion blog and clearly an identiy of her own and we soon learn she believes no one reads it. K.O. showed it to the not at all ambigiously gay duo and Geoff and Nick thank her> That’s two blushes and two wins in K.O.’s court.  Finishing up, K.O. realizes Gregg stays quiet because they have low self esteem and feel they have nothing to be proud of. K.O. however found lots to be proud of and framed Gregg’s valdectorian certificate for him, again with some help from earlier.  Instead of graditude red just calls him weird and leaves and KO slumps back depressed. I’ts a good lesson though: people DON’T change just because you did one weirdly kind thing for them. That takes time.. as we’ll see with Red and as we see with Drupe, who has less of an ons creen journey but is far nicer after her next apperance. While Enid is grossed out over having helped someone, Gregg comes in.. and after some great deranged animation thanks K.O. and Enid admits after some prodding that it does feel good to help, and K.O. is happy to have helped her int he process. The two playfully mess around as the episode ends. Final Thoughts: This was a really good one. Reaching back this far into the series, I didn’t think it’d would be nearly as good as it ended up: It serves both as a good proper introduction for a lot of the plaza regulars, a good setup for Enid’s character arc, and was also really funny with great animation. LIke Tom, I don’t think the creators knew exactly what they were going to do with the Alley Teens and thus take the two they end up focusing on in opposite directon: Red keeps her assholishness for her next apperance and grows from it, while Drupe’s drops off by the end of this season, likely due to her fashion blog taking off, but we’ll get into Red more in a review or so and Drupe more later this month.For now this episode was good and next up we have their next apperance in Plaza Prom. Until then, follow this blog for more reviews and nonsense, like and reblog it if you enjoyed this, hit me up with asks for review suggestions or comssions and until next time, later days!

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Things Dobson mocks because he is too ignorant...

One “talent” Dobson seems to have, is the ability to alienate a lot of people through his opinions. And while he claims to be proud of that talent because he believes those he alienates are just assholes and racists who disagree with him CAUSE he attacks their abhorrent worldviews, the reality is much simpler; On average, people just don’t like him cause Dobson has no idea what he is talking about, which won’t however stop him from mocking the mere existence of certain things/interests and the people enjoying them. And those people tend not to be racists who want to see non-white people go extinct, but simply nerds and enthusiasts who like to enjoy their hobbies without the input of someone who won’t get over how he was bullied as a nerd back in school, but at the same time will bully you for being “nerdier”.

I could go into more detail how I mean that by analyzing a lot of his anime related SYAC strips as well as his soapbox strips on comic culture in a row. However, for the sake of “simplicity” I just like to go over one of his oldest strips, published around 2011. Back when Dobson was portraying himself still as a human. This strip alone will show how even a decade back, Dobson could just be an asshole to any “nerd” who dared to be into stuff he wasn’t, how he could manage to piss off many people all in one going AND be unfunny.

Now the first thing I want to put out is that I do not even think that Dobson’s primary intention with this strip was to mock others and their interests. See, one thing about So you are a cartoonist especially in its early days was, that it was in a way Dobson’s attempt to make himself look likeable in the eyes of others. He portrayed himself just as an Average Joe, wanting to make comics. This strip itself was even part of a series of strips I like to call “Things Dobson likes/dislikes”, which really were just him in each panel pointing at something he is into or not.

 And honestly, part of me does not mind it. It is just Dobson’s attempt to show others how “quirky” or contrarian he is. The problem really steams more from the following two facts: a) It is not really a cartoon or comic if you think about it, because there isn’t a joke, punchline or story attached to them, just Dobson showing off what kind of person he is and b) that his “things I do not understand” comic is really mean spirited compared to the others if you look just a bit deeper into it.

Right from the beginning the strip is just indicative that this will be more mean spirited than Dobson will later like to claim it was. Otherwise he would not feel the need to say “chillax” as a sort of semi defense mechanism, cause if he really intended to make his grievances heard through “good fun” he would not need to say that. So from the gate we can assume its snarkier and more hurtful than it needs to be. So lets get through the things he does not understand, shall we?

Sports: I will admit that I am not really into sports myself, neither as a fan or someone participating in it competitively. I go to the gym however in order to feel good about myself and do something for my health instead of going every Friday to McDonalds. In addition, as long as you do not go overboard with being a fan or participating in it, I understand how sport can unite people (see events like the Olympics and Soccer worldcups) , and while I am baffled upon the fact that the salary of many people in sports (particularly soccer and football) are ridiculous high in addition to money they make with advertisement deals etc. I have respect for them. Respect for how they can stick to a hard training schedule, can take injuries, will do stuff for charity etc. Furthermore, unlike Dobson, I do not believe people who are into sports are dumb. Yes, I know the stereotype about college footballers and sports who only graduated because of their sports activities and are otherwise “meatheads”, but that stereotype does not apply to everything in reality, Dobson. Ever heard of NFL lineman Duvernay-Tardif, who also has a degree as a surgeon? Granted, he made that title only in 2018, seven years after the comic was made, so look a bit further and see what we find… Oh, look: Myron Rolle, college football player and later members of the Tennessee Titans and Pittsburgh Steelers around 2010/12: Has a bachelor degree in exercise science and in 2008 studied for a Master of science for medical anthropology in the UK.

Ron Mix, famous AFL and NFL football player forever immortalized in the Hall of Fame has a Juris Doctor Degree and after his work as a sports became an attorney.

 And that are just three examples googled up in relation to American football. Other famous sports worldwide have degrees in medical and sports related sciences. Heck, one of Europe’s most famous boxer’s in the 2000s, Vitali Klitschko, not only has a doctors degree in sports, he is nowadays head of the governing party of Ukraine, following the independence of the country in 2014.

So stop wiggling your three sets of eyebrows and cease your smug grin and shove that periodic table up your ass, Dobson. I bet you yourself don’t even fucking know the chemical symbol for silver or titanium you Agonizing Twat who never got over the fact some popular kids in school bullied him.

 Final Fantasy: I doubt Dobson ever even tried to play Final Fantasy or ANY JRPG, honestly. Heck, not only does Cloud look pretty wrong (anime hair seems to be another thing Dobson can not draw) but frankly, the statement of Cloud being an emo is false and is based on misinterpretation. Bear with me for a bit; Final Fantasy 7 is in my opinion a good game and it had a major impact on the series and the perception of JRPGs in the west. However, I do also believe that many people overhyped its quality over the years. Including SquareEnix themselves, who particularly around 2005 released all sorts of tie in and sequel games, including also the movie “Advent Children”. Or as I like to call those things, Tetsuya Nomura’s wankfest, because now all of sudden everything is related to some guy called Genesis, we have even more characters to supposedly care about than we already got through the original game, happy end override happens almost on every corner and “goth” aesthetics are everywhere. And Cloud himself became an embodiment of that emo/loner stereotype in anime and manga around that time, despite never having been like that in the original game if you ask me. Yes, Cloud in the original game went through a lot of emotional trauma and he was not like some happy go lucky laid back shonen manga protagonist. But he also didn’t come off as a pretentious fucktard who never showed emotions and shut himself off from his friends and allies. He was more of a determined person who still cared for others and wanted to stop Sephirot so no one suffered like he did. His most “depressing” moment was when Sephirot revealed his false memories, making Cloud question his own existence as an independent being to the point he was broken enough to hand the Meteor sphere to Sephirot, but that was about it.  But hey, “emos” sell better, so SquareEnix tried to sell that aesthetics and others were just so dumb and further misinterpreted it as emoness being Cloud’s main character trait, when in reality freaking Squall Leonhard in his original game was worse than Cloud in comparison.

I also find the implication of Dobson, that Final Fantasy is pretentious in that panel funny as fuck. Cause Final Fantasy 13s’ pretty dumb story and wankery of clicheed anime tropes not withstanding, the average Final Fantasy game has a straightforward fantasy plot of good guys vs bad guys, with some twists and anime tropes thrown into the mix. The most pretentious guys in those games really are just the bad guys when they talk on average about how the world is suffering and misery, and even that is just straightforward nihilism to justify why they want to destroy everything. It is in fact so straightforward, most little kids will get it particularly in the first 6 games of the series, which are just set in more “classic” fantasy worlds to begin with. I am not saying the Final Fantasy franchise as a whole is flawless (I really am not a fan of 13 and its sequels, but if you like it, you do your thing) but you do not need a thesaurus to get why people enjoy it or individual games from it. So stop hating on an entire game series, which btw has actually some pretty awesome female characters in protagonistic roles in it too.

 Twilight: Both an example of Dobson’s hypocricy and idiocy. Idiocy cause frankly, what is hard to understand why people liked the books? Twilight (in my opinion) was just a professionally published self insert fanfiction, in which Bella/the reader fell in love with the local bad boy who just happened to also be a vampire. Sure, a vampire in name only (seriously, if you asked me, the Cullens could be replaced with a lot of other fantasy creatures and it would barely affect anything), but that is beside the point. Shameless romance stories about someone falling in love with the bad boy who deep down has a heart of gold and just needs someone to fix them, are nothing new. So I was not surprised that people, particularly teenaged girls and other women, enjoyed it. It was the romance literature equivalent to fast food which just happened to explode in popularity because Young adult novels were a simultaneous hit and something needed to fill the void after Harry Potter. I read the first book myself and I thought nothing in particularly wrong with it, aside of the fact I thought the book itself was plotwise kinda dull. But that was not why people bought it, they wanted Bella getting together with the bad boy. The fact Dobson did not understand on what the popularity was build up on, is just an example for how Dobson does not even in theory understand how stories work and what it is on a pure technical level that makes them interesting and sell worthy to others.

As for the hypocritical aspect, that comes up nowadays when Dobson claims he feels bad for mocking Twilight all those years ago and how people were bad for making fun of it and Stephenie Meyer. That those who did it were like women hating assholes and still are if they do not apologize. Cause frankly, I feel a majority of people “apologizing” are just dishonest with themselves now. Apologizing primarily because in the eyes of some other people they look up to, if they do not they will be pariahs. Especially when extend of their initial childish disdain for Twilight becomes clear. I e.g. do not hate Lindsay Ellis aka the former Nostalgia Chick, but the fact she made a big apology video on Meyer was laughable when you see how she “stood” to her opinion back in the day to the point she wrote a novel to mock the kind of story Twilight did. Sure, she admitted to a lot of her own faults back in the day so there was also some self reflection to it and I respect that. But I think in a way this was also a tactic to just appease some other people and it does not take away that initially she had those thoughts about Twilight. And frankly, Twilight is problematic in a way.

Again, I read the first book and I did not consider it the worst thing in the world, just kinda dull for my taste. However, having read on a lot of things that happen in the book series itself, it is clear that Bella and Edward are some pretty horrid and selfish characters who barely get called out or face consequences for terrible actions. Take also into account the pacing of the story and you get on average a book series that deserved a certain amount of criticism from a technical point of view and Meyer’s at least being questioned about some of her decisions in the writing process. It did however not deserve book burnings or people mocking and harassing fans and the author, the former being mocked by Dobson here funnily enough.

 Transformers: And what is it you find weird about people caring for cars? This is not even me being a cars fan here or something, I just ask because even that “explanation” is no explanation at all. He is just saying “I don’t care for X because I also do not care much for Y”. The correlation between the two is missing.

As for why people care about those two things Dobson, perhaps it is for the following:

Cars because people like the aesthetics, the technics, like to build stuff or get a rush by driving them. Transformers, because people just like action as well as the lore to the franchise and think giant robots turning into vehicles is cool, as long as Michael Bay is not involved in creating a story.

Furries: As with cars, likely aesthetics. Anthropomorphic animals have been part of our culture even long before cartoons (just look at fables, fairy tales and legends all across the world involving animals) so I assume there is even something more subconsciously involved with it. And frankly, I like furries myself. Some of them are way better artists than Dobson could ever be. That said, I do as an individual draw a line at furries that harass other people and show creators, hurt animals or are combining their interests with some really weird sex fetishes (two words: diaper fur). Which I guess do many other people cause there is a healthy amount of furries and non furries who have standards. The thing is just Dobson seems to think all furries are the same. Not to forget that for a long time he did everything denying he was interested in furries, citing his college as a reason for it cause people there installed a hatred for furries into him. A wonder then he would even enjoy Looney Tunes anymore. And honestly, himof all people mocking people for having a “sick” fetish? I am sorry Dobson, but compared to the kind of inflation you drew, I would say the average furry (as in someone who just draws two adult fursonas making out with each other under consent) is less “disturbing” than you. Someone who did not just inflate the female, at times underaged victims, but also made them pop/killed them.

DnD: I wish I had the comment Dobson posted on deviantart under the comic, as in it he digged himself even deeper with every panel and the explanations he gave. Just to show I am not pulling it out of my ass when I say for DnD one of the main reasons he hated it was that he thought nerds made the fantasy genre even nerdier by adding math to it.

Oh no. The fact people have to add numbers from a couple of dices together is too high of a math concept for Dobson. So those people must have absolutely no lives and are all just fat, bald and with acne.

Seriously though, fuck off. I am not into table top gaming, but whoever is, they shall just have fun. And stop body shaming nerds with the way you draw the DnD player here (and in that other infamous DnD comic he did), especially when you yourself look like a shaved egg in real life. Heck, did you know of all people Vin Diesel enjoys DnD?

Just let the people enjoy their adventure campaigns and come together once in a while instead of being shut offs like you, whose only experience with an interactive fantasy story involves playing Skyrim at 10 fps.

And yes, I am aware that Dobson has changed his opinions on DnD now thanks to some podcast. But based on his record, I feel that Dobson only did join it because it is now the cool thing to care on average about DnD as nerd. In addition he also did not own up to his past “mistake” till people just called him out on his bullshit often enough.

Klingons: Okay, I am not much of a Trekkie myself, but again, I get that people just like the aesthetics of them and the story crafted around Klingon culture within the franchise. So, just let them have fun with it. What is even the “joke” here? That people enjoy it despite it “just” being black Asian barbaric samurai in space, which is a very simplistic, in my opinion even outright racist description based on the choice of words here? Frankly, I am glad he did not just also add a racist Japanese accent to the guy here.

So there you have it: Things Dobson does not understand and essentially mocks for existing. And don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Dobson not “getting” those things. Everyone has their own tastes, likes and dislikes as well as reasons why they are into it or not. I e.g. understand that people enjoy Bob’s Burger, but I myself really do not like the show much, because most characters come off as annoying to me in terms of personality and quirks. That said, I understand the visual appeal to it, if you like it that is fine and if you ass why I don’t like it I will give an explanation to it. What I will not do is make a comic mocking the existence of it, imply that my disinterest is correlated to me thinking there is also something inherently wrong with you if you enjoy it and build my disinterest on none existing issues with the thing in question.

Dobson however seems to have done that quite a couple of times and combined with his self righteous nature, it becomes kinda obvious why people began hating his stuff to the point that almost all of 4chan and tumblr developed a stern disdain for him.

[ducktracy]

bob clampett’s daffy

i hated daffy as a kid. i thought he was annoying, unnecessarily rude, bitter, and mean. and he was. and now i’m going to preach to you about why he’s my favorite character in the franchise, and how bob clampett totally changed my view of him.

although tex avery was the father of daffy, bob clampett was the first director other than tex to use daffy in a cartoon. clampett’s 1938 “what price porky” pins daffy as the dictator and leader of a group of ducks who are currently in a war with a group of chickens, with porky in the crossfire.

daffy’s head is a perfect circle with no feathers, and he’s considerably taller than other appearances. he’s a bit more rotund too, making him seem more malleable and easier to manipulate with gags. notice how his eyes seem like they could continue to wrap around his head. we start to see what will stay in his design for years to come and what will go, such as lacking the trademark white ring around his neck. what he DOES have, however, and for the first time, is his trademark lisp.

his next appearance in a clampett cartoon is “porky and daffy” (1938). this is truly where his daffiness is allowed to shine. porky enters daffy in a boxing match against a burly, undefeated chicken. the match includes (but is not limited to) daffy acting like a lion tamer, riding an invisible bicycle, and hiding in the beak of a pelican. the short is really just daffy being daffy, but we get to see how he interacts with porky.

his eyes are much taller and skinnier than they were in “what price porky”, and his head and body have been slimmed down. the ring around his neck is jagged, something that would make a few appearances in his design for the next 2 years.

in around 1939-1940 daffy was drawn with a light colored “mask” around his eyes and the ring around his neck a zig zag. there’s a definite difference between these two pictures (left: wise quacks, 1939, right: porky’s last stand, 1940). on the left daffy’s eyes are rather skinny and tall like the rest of him, the mask around his face taking up half of his face, whereas on the right daffy’s eyes are shorter and wider (again, like the rest of him) with the mask taking up less room. interestingly to note, porky’s last stand would be the last short to feature daffy looking like that, aside from a few advertisements in the early 40s.

both continue to prominently feature daffy as unhinged, off the handle, giddy, and, well, daffy. he was truly the epitome of ignorance was bliss. he was oblivious and didn’t have a clue, but he didn’t care. he had such an energy to him that’s so addicting to watch. of course, nothing but screaming HOO HOO! CAN get old over time, but the way clampett just makes him so enthusiastic and such a firm believer in whatever he’s currently preoccupied with is contagious. it’s hard to be in a bad mood when daffy’s jumping around all corners of the screen screaming in your ears.

clampett’s “the henpecked duck” (1941) is really the first short that would dictate how daffy would look in the rest of clampett’s cartoons. his eye mask is gone and the ring around his neck isn’t jagged, and he’s considerably taller and skinnier. his head is still rather short and round, but he’s really starting to take shape.

daffy’s personality also changes in this short. previously he was just a prop, truly a daffy duck. but now “the henpecked duck” opens with daffy and his wife (yes, he has a wife in this short) in the courthouse in front of a judge porky, with his wife angrily demanding to get a divorce. daffy is depressed and devoid of energy, not for a quick, breathless joke, but for suspense. in his previous shorts he’d shown bouts of anxiety or anger, but typically they blew through for a punchline. now something serious is going on, he’s actually depressed, he’s something other than wacky.

the majority of the short is a flashback. daffy is supposed to be laying on an egg as his angry wife is out for the day. because he IS daffy, boredom strikes and he eventually does magic tricks with said egg, making it disappear, reappear, disappear, reappear, disappear..... disappear. the egg is gone and he freaks out, and suddenly we’re back in the courtroom. all eyes are on daffy as he does one last cautious “alakazam....” and the egg is back in his hand and his marriage is saved.

it’s a strange and goofy premise, sure, but it’s surprisingly riveting, primarily because this is when we really get to see daffy express some real emotion. he’s a very versatile character. clampett prioritizes his daffiness, but that’s not to say he’s purely daffy. he can be angry, anxious, upset... he expresses such a wide range of emotions which is what i love about clampett’s characterization. he’s so versatile and UNPREDICTABLE. you don’t know what you’re going to get. it’s an element of surprise. it’s formulaic, but at the same time it isn’t at all.

two years later in 1943 we have “the wise quacking duck” with daffy taking on a role he hadn’t assumed for quite awhile: prey. in it, we have “mr. meek”, a dopey, meek, balding man who tries to appease his “sweetiepuss”’s hunger by serving her duck for dinner. daffy, of course, is said duck.

the short is just daffy teasing mr meek (quite literally, there’s an infamous scene where he does an actual strip tease) by throwing eggs at him, pretending his head was cut off, hitting him in the face with pies and coffee creamer, etc. it’s another “daffy daffy” short, but it’s so energetic and fun. there’s a method to daffy’s madness, and at the same time there isn’t one at all. you know he’s going to do some crazy stuff, but you don’t know what exactly he’s going to do.

daffy’s appearance is pretty solid from here on out. skinny, oval shaped head, long, slender bill, pear shaped body. i really like this design to him, he still looks like a duck. chuck jones draws a great daffy, but i just like clampett’s daffy more. it might be the bill. clampett’s cartoons make a point of daffy’s lisp, making him spew spit everywhere and his tongue has a life of its own. it’s great. they really took his physical qualities and had as much fun with it as they could.

in 1945 we have “draftee daffy”, about daffy getting drafted into the war and frantically trying to evade it. this is a personal favorite of mine, the energy is boundless. in a matter of seconds daffy is happily marching around, singing about how he was drafted, and all of the sudden he screams and breaks down into sobs. what an unpredictable mess! that’s why i love clampett’s daffy. he’s messy. a matter of seconds and facial expressions later he can act like a totally different person (or duck). again, he’s a firm believer in whatever scheme he’s riding the high on currently, whether that’s one-upping bugs, seducing his way out of becoming a roast duck dinner, or trying to dodge the draft. not much to note on his design here.

you knew this was coming! 1946 gives us “book revue” in a slew of continuous great shorts just before clampett left WB. i love how ridiculous daffy is in this. he’s not even in half of the cartoon, maybe topping out at about 3 minutes max, but he’s what makes it so memorable.

the short is another “books come to life” cartoon, a theme that had been popular in the late 30s and early 40s (another clampett cartoon starring daffy and porky was 1941’s “a coy decoy”, pertaining to this theme). as various book title pun related characters are playing a rousing rendition of frank sinatra’s “it had to be you”, daffy pops out of nowhere and throws on a zoot suit, wig, bad russian accent and danny kaye impression, and suddenly has disconcerting teeth. he screams at everyone to shut up, demonstrates his poor vocabulary by talking about sitting on balalaikas (a guitar like instrument), and sings “carolina in the morning” while rolling every “r” possible.

basically he encounters little red riding hood, warns her about the big bad wolf (by scatting), and the cartoon ends with the wolf chasing daffy around until the cops book him and the wolf, wooed by frank sinatra, passes out and literally goes to hell and tells everyone to stop celebrating his departure.

daffy’s just so good in this. he’s so in character and out of character. yes, i could see bugs putting on the same costume and same shtick, but it would be a bit predictable. funny? absolutely, but bugs is known for his costumes. what costumes has daffy ever worn? his wardrobe isn’t nearly as expansive as bugs’. it’s a nice surprise. just how out of character he is proves how in character he is.

“baby bottleneck” (1946) is next, one of my all time favorite cartoons. porky and daffy make such a great pair, they’re so different. daffy’s just completely off the handle in this one. i’ve rambled about this one a lot and repeated myself many times, so i won’t go too in depth here, but daffy’s unpredictability really carries the cartoon. he says he’ll sit on the egg. he doesn’t. he fights porky in a battle of strength and (lack of) wits. you just don’t know where the cartoon is going to head next, it’s packed with gags and so much action, i definitely recommend it. the jokes are nonstop.

and finally, saving the best for last... 1946’s “the great piggy bank robbery”, possibly my favorite clampett cartoon (just above baby bottleneck by a frog’s hair) and really one of my all time favorite cartoons in general.

the short starts off with daffy pacing around his mailbox impatiently (to the tune of raymond scott’s “powerhouse”—maybe that’s why i like this short and baby bottleneck so much, anything that uses powerhouse is automatically great to me) until exploding “WHY DON’T HE GET HERE!”

his attitude changes from pissed off to eager as the mailman arrives, slowly puts whatever daffy’s expecting in the mailbox, and walks away. we never see the mailman’s face or what it is that daffy is expecting, furthering the suspense. daffy tears through his mail and grabs what he was looking for and dashes over hill and dale before hugging his package, a comic book, and throwing himself upon it.

it’s a dick tracy comic, to which daffy declares “i LOOOOVE that man!”. what’s funny is that after this short i was watching frank tashlin’s “porky pig’s feat” (1943) and the antagonist gets his face pushed in by daffy, to which daffy looks at the camera and says “look, a dick tracy villain! pruneface!”. foreshadowing? 🤔🤔🤔

daffy reads to us the comic in excruciating detail (or lack thereof. he’s just manically sputtering out words. the change in emotion is what makes it so funny, from celebration to apprehension to despair, all in a matter of seconds). he celebrates the victory of dick tracy, saying how he’d love to punch those goony criminals, before punching HIMSELF in the face.

this is how we meet duck twacy, on the hunt for a case of stolen piggy banks (“it’s a piggy bank crime wave!”). daffy finds the case juvenile and a waste of his time... before he finds that his OWN piggy bank was stolen. he goes on a hunt for the culprit, kicking sherlock holmes off the streets, riding a trolley driven by porky for about 5 inches before arriving to the gangster’s hideout. he encounters a barrage of weirdly awesome villains, complete with a manic, breathless, and spitty narration of who is who. even though he thinks he’s about to be killed, you can tell that he’s totally eating up the fact that he’s in dick tracy’s shoes, that he recognizes all of these villains. after shooting all of the villains, he finds his own piggy bank and caresses it and kisses it. we’re now back in the real world where he’s kissing a barnyard pig who kisses him back and bashfully declares “i just love that duck!”, with daffy HOO HOO!ing off screen.

i should add, aside from the pig saying “i just love that duck!” and one of the villains grunting “guess who?”, no one in this short talks except daffy. and that’s why i love it so much. he carries the WHOLE thing. it’s all him and him alone. no one for him to upstage, no plans for him to ruin, we get to see his own motivations and his own personality.

i could ramble on forever about bob clampett and daffy, but i’ll try to summarize it the best i can here.

i love bob clampett’s daffy because he’s predictably unpredictable. his zaniness is prioritized above all else, but he’s able to feel emotions other than daffiness. he CAN be cynical, he CAN be depressed, he CAN be anxious, he CAN be happy... his emotions feel very believable, as zany as he is. you can go into each bob clampett daffy short knowing that he’s probably going to do something wild, but that’s it. you don’t know what he’s going to do. clampett keeps you on your toes with how he portrays daffy. daffy is TRULY unhinged in the best way possible.

thank you for reading! i’m sure i repeated myself and even contradicted myself dozens of times, but i love daffy and i love bob clampett. the best way to see for yourself how great he is is to watch some of these shorts. (i recommend the great piggy bank robbery, baby bottleneck, book revue, draftee daffy and the wise quacking duck, and the daffy doc and the henpecked duck are some really entertaining black and white shorts)

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 29 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 29

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

(Y/n) didn’t answer anyone’s calls. She shut the ringer off and focused on her work. She had the receptionist turn away anyone who wanted to see her. It was so bad that Tommy and Vanessa were willing to camp outside of MCA. She had broken it off with Bret, telling him it wasn’t him, never him.

And he had been looking at rings that day, she had learned.

“Ms. Bass?” One of the upper management said. “The big boss wants to see you.” She sighed and made her way to the director’s office.

“Ah, Ms. Bass good. Please have a seat.” the director smiled at her. “I have good news.”

“Oh?” She asked. She wasn’t sure what his definition of “good news” was.

“We decided to give you a promotion,” they smiled at her. “It would require you to move to New York but you get more money and you get to pick any band you would like to represent as well as pick up any new bands you see perform.” they smiled at her. “How does that sound?”  

“I...New York?” She asked. California was her home. She was born and raised here. She got drunk at the age of fifteen here. She loved and lost here. “You had to make a mistake. I’m not that good of a producer.” The director shook his head.

“You’re amazing (Y/n). All your bands are successful and you keep them from killing each other,” they smiled at her. “Think about it, you get to pick anyone you want to represent, you get free reign!” She sat there for a second. Tommy was busy with Heather. Vanessa was busy with work. Nikki was too high to know she was there. She had heard rumors about rehab, but she wasn’t sure. There wasn’t really anything making her stay.

“Okay. I’ll take it.” She told him, making him grin.

*********

Nikki sighed looking out the window of the rehab center. He felt good, but he missed (Y/n). He had wanted to reach her but no one would tell him how to get a hold of her. He had so many thing he wanted to say, so he took to filling a journal full of letters to her. Every time he thought about her, he would write in it.

“I’m tired of these support groups.” Tommy groaned, sitting in a seat at the table where Nikki was writing and doodling. “If I have to talk about my issues one more time…” He looked up at Nikki, who was deep in concentration. “Hey man, watchya writing?”

"Just stuff," he muttered.

“New songs?” Tommy asked. Nikki did have a few songs in the journal, but this was mainly for (Y/n). The song he had written with Mick was taped on the inside cover.

"Just stuff, Tommy ok." He didn't want to talk to Tommy right now. Everything he felt, a good chunk of it was directed at Tommy. And the therapist he was talking to helped him realize that.

“Okay, okay.” Tommy sighed. “I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m gonna have a barbeque. Maybe we could find you someone to hook up with?” He was trying to be a good friend because of what he had done to their relationship, but honestly, he was coming off as more of a douche.

"Tommy," Nikki sighed. "I just need space ok?" Nikki really didn't want to talk to him. He just wanted to finish his thoughts to (Y/n) and get back to group. He was over the shakes and pain. But he felt empty. He wanted to have her with him again to feel that void.

“I thought you said this place would put you back in a good mood.” Tommy got up and started to leave.

"I miss her ok," Nikki sighed. "I haven't been able to call her or talk to her." Nikki couldn't even say hey name yet.

“Hey man, I’m sorry.” Tommy sighed. “I wish things could’ve worked out better for the two of you.”

Nikki scoffed, "yeah right." He slammed the journal and got up.

“What’s the supposed to mean?” Tommy asked.

“You’ve been against me and (Y/n) from the start! Hell it’s funny, before you knew it was her, did you even notice how happy I was? How happy she made me? Part of the reason I kept partying was for you! Because I had to keep the terror twins going right?” Nikki couldn't hold it in. “Then the touring started and you… you didn't even realize you kept pushing these girls at me while I was high… I mean… come on… you freaked when I asked her to marry me.” Nikki sniffled. “I know it was soon, but I felt complete with her and… maybe we weren’t right then… but…” he shook his head. “Forget it, you wouldn't care anyways.”  

“I do care!” Tommy yelled at him. “The night you were reported dead, I held her while she cried in the middle of my living room. I watched her smile less. I watched the light fade away in her eyes. I stopped her from getting back on speed or whatever. I watched my sister fade away and I know it was my fault!”

“Too late now,” Nikki muttered. “She won’t talk to me anyways… I screwed up again.” he turned to walk away. The memory of they way he treated her when she miscarried brought him to his knees slightly and shook his head.

“Hey, you okay?” Tommy asked, watching him.

“She went through the worst possible thing in her life and I was high as a kite… I couldn’t help her through it and…. She’d be better off if I was dead…” he disappeared from Tommy’s sight and back to his room.

Vince and Mick looked at the two and then to each other.

“You doing ok there blondie?” Mick muttered as he drank his water.

“I want to go home.” Vince sighed. “What was Nikki talking about though?”

“I don’t know, but I bet I know who would,” Mick said giving him a knowing look. “You haven’t talked to HER either. When was the last time? Was it before what’s her name left you?” Vince sighed.

“I want to get myself to a good place before I talk to her,” Vince told him. “She deserves better than a drunk singer with a death on his record. I can take two of those things out of the equation, but I think she’d prefer if I only took one out.”

“Well, we have a lot of work to do,” Mick sighed. “This is going to be a fun ride.” Mick said sarcastically. Vince just took a deep breath. It was time for group therapy.

****

(Y/n) was packing when Vanessa buzzed to be let in. She took a deep breath. She was dreading this. She knew her friend would be happy and pissed at the same time. She let her in and went back to her boxes.

“You better save me some tickets to broadway when you get there,” Vanessa grumbled as she helped (Y/n) pack. “Stupid hollywood execs are getting on my nerves.” she said. “I hate working for movie studios. Is it too late for me to switch?”

“Just last week you were gushing about working with Michael J. Fox. Is this because I’m moving?” (Y/n) asked.

“Maybe, but it’s also partly because they want me to get another new actor but there are slim pickings here and they don’t want me to travel out of LA.” she sighed. “Casting is a bitch at times.”

“Music’s not much better Nessa.” (Y/n) sighed. “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll only go so far. And I’m the one has to tell these million Motley Crue copycats that they’re shit.”

“Tell that to the countless Harrison Ford wannabes.” Vanessa sighed as she put away some clothes for (Y/n). She paused at a picture of (Y/n) and Nikki. “You kept this?”

“I...uh…” (Y/n) sighed. “He looked so happy. I want to remember that. Not the drugged out asshole I just saw not too long ago.”

“Wait… you SAW him?” Vanessa looked to her. “You guys didn’t….”

“We did…” (Y/n) smiled a bit. “And it was amazing. But then he shot up after and I...I can’t watch him kill himself like that.”

“He’s in rehab you know,” Vanessa closed up the box once it was full. “They all are. Mick called me, trying to reach you.” she smiled. “He was worried about you. He’s like a dad in this situation. VInce was worried about you too…” she trailed off.

“I’ll have you give him my number when I get a new one.” (Y/n) told her. “I just wish he would’ve went just a little earlier. But he’ll clean himself up and find himself a model or something. And he’ll forget all about me.”

Vanessa kept her mouth shut, not wanting to tell (Y/n) that Nikki was getting clean for her. She sighed and continued to help (Y/n) pack.

"I'll have a spare room for your vacation." (Y/n) told her. "I haven't even told Tommy I'm leaving yet…"

“That’s going to go over well with him,” she laughed. “You know what he’s going to say… I’m worried about… person…” she took a breath. “He’s been doing good according to Mick.”

"You can say his name." (Y/n) told her. "I just wish things could've been different…"

“I hope he gets better and you two get together,” Vanessa sighed. “I can see it a big romantic gesture and a chance meeting, staryeyes on both of you as you see each other from afar….” she sighed. “Crap I should write that!” Vanessa was in the middle of producing a romance movie and found herself writing one a lot of the times. “I am holding out hope… you two are perfect for each other, I think maybe it was just not the right time for you two, you guys were so young and just starting your lives.”

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But if it was meant to be, we'll find each other again."

Vanessa looked to her friend, “when do you get all this shipped to your new place?”

“The movers will come pick it up in three days. I leave in four.” (Y/n) explained.

“Need any help?” Vanessa sighed. “I might follow you… I hear things are going a bit… with VInces new wife…”

“Last time I talked to Heather, she said that you’re all he could talk about.” (Y/n) told her. “I’d love to take you with me, but your job is here. I don’t want to make you uproot yourself.”

“Yeah, but I’m going to miss you.” she sighed and packed up another box. “Pizza?”

“That sounds amazing.” (Y/n) said, looking out over California. “Order in or go out?”

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff @unknownoblivion

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches @knockemdeadgirl

[hellyeahomeland]

“Two Minutes” | Directed by Tucker Gates, Cinematography by Giorgio Scali

[This week remained hectic as heck so we are keeping the more casual format. --Sara]

Sara: Opening (or closing) with a Carrie mirror shot is classic Homeland and I love to see it! She looks very tired. I hope when the series is over, Carrie takes a long nap. But not, y’know, the LONG long nap.

Gail: If this shot is a look into her current emotional state, which I think it most definitely is, she looks tired but determined. She hasn’t been out of that rehab center for very long, you have to wonder how her medications are working, because it’s clear she isn’t getting enough sleep. But good God--Claire Danes is gorgeous!

Gail: When I watched this scene I had a few realizations. At first I thought the red thing in front of the water glass was a pill but when I zoomed in it looks like floss. Then it occurred to me that we haven’t seen Carrie taking her meds or listening to jazz this season. This version of Carrie seems very stripped down (no pun intended). No mentions of seeing her family or FaceTiming Franny either. I don’t know what any of this means yet, but pointing it out for future context.

Sara: Floss? Whoulda thunk? I love this very obviously photoshopped (or whatever the video equivalent of that is… CGI?) scene of “mourners” gathering outside the White House.

Gail: I loved this opening shot of Max with his back to us... much like the donkey at the end of the episode, he has the flight recorder strapped to his back via a backpack and he treks uphill. I love the pop of color from the flight recorder and Max’s backpack in this desert-like scene. The importance in this shot is all about knowing where the flight recorder is and less about who is carrying it. Although I’m sure everyone joined us in a sign of relief to see Max still alive!

Sara: Chekhov’s flight recorder! I’m thinking of other significant objects on the show (like Brody’s vest), but none have gotten the attention that this dang flight recorder is getting. Also, Max writing his name in sharpie on his backpack is big younger child energy.

Sara: As someone who wears glasses, I really admire that Max is always, without fail, wearing his. No matter how sweaty he is. I love you, Max! 

Gail: It is very interesting how every time Saul is kidnapped, his glasses are taken from him, but Max gets to keep his (for now at least?). Maybe there is a metaphor there about how Max isn’t losing sight of the bigger picture?

Sara: IJLTP, and it’s the first of a few POV shots this week. Max really is like an audience stand-in and this makes it even more literal.

Gail: IJLTP too! Such a great shot.

Sara: They had a shot very similar to this in Keane’s speech from “Paean to the People.” I really love how you can see how very manufactured this all is. Not that any of us need to be reminded of that…

Gail: The focus of this scene starts with the people behind it. I love that, because while the President is what the people are watching, he’s getting his cues and information from everyone else. In “Chalk One Up” we saw the theater of the peace announcement. Here we see the theater of the new president making his first speech. It’s all just words until the intentions behind them are realized.

Sara: Some of the keywords here: 

Bust

MARTA (the “mass” “transit” “system” in Atlanta… where my Atlanta homies at?)

Body scanner

Narcos

Influenza

Plot

Gail: If these keywords are a part of the search for Max, shouldn’t his name be on it? Or American? No wonder Carrie was pissed! Get with it, Lonnie! 

Sara: I know this is a stunt double, but it’s still meant to be Carrie, and Carrie riding this motorcycle so awesomely is one of the most badass things about her. We have no choice but to stan. 

Gail: What a cool payoff to all of the scenes and allusions of Carrie leaving the station undetected. Girl is resourceful, no doubt.

Sara: Are these wide shots so that Costa Ronin, who is apparently nine feet tall, and Claire Danes would both fit in the frame? Also, “I just like how he leans.” 

Gail: I think the shot might be indicative of their power dynamic. But I agree with you, Yevgeny’s consistent nonchalance is such a great character detail.

Gail: Interesting that by the end of their scene, Yevgeny sits down, making his body language less threatening. He enjoys these games with Carrie a little too much for my liking.

Sara: That smirk…

Sara: The framing here is really interesting. G’ulom sitting casually while Saul and Scott Ryan stand stick straight, almost obediently (ironically), is really striking. G’ulom has these almost angelic white curtains behind him while Saul and Scott are cloaked in shadows.

Gail: This feels different from Yevgeny’s casual nonchalance. I get the sense here that G’ulom is sitting out of lack of respect for the people standing before him. G’ulom turned his back on platitudes the second he turned his back on Ambassador Gaeto in the opening of “Chalk Two Down.” He only stands at the end of the scene to exert his power over Saul and General Ryan.

Sara: And then this shot, which is incredible. Centering G’ulom in the frame really emphasizes his power.

Gail: Such a great POV shot to see Saul and General Ryan’s reactions to G’ulom.

Sara: ...and I love the specific choreography of Saul and Scott both exiting so that their bodies are hidden behind G’ulom. I feel like Homeland doesn’t do shots this stylized that often so when they do it feels all the more impactful. 

Gail: I find it so interesting that G’ulom has turned his back on the audience too. 

Gail: I love the glimpses of the relationship between Mike and Jenna. Is this how Saul and Carrie started out?

Sara: Oof, ya think? I didn’t even think about their relationship in that context (maybe because the age gap is not as great) but now that you say it... I find it a really interesting way to shoot this, almost like we’re eavesdropping on them eavesdropping on Carrie. I love when Homeland returns to themes of surveillance. 

Sara: Why onions? Because we’re peeling the layers of this story. (I’ll see myself out.)

Gail: OMG, Sara! You are right, they are onions! I’m ashamed to say I thought they were beets. (Thanks, Dwight.)

Gail: When Fibrooz, Max’s captor, reaches for Max’s wrist in this scene, I thought he was going to unlock the cuffs. Doesn’t bode well for Max that this guy is all about making a buck.

Sara: Major Carrie in “Why Is This Night Different?” vibes. The framing is almost identical. This continues some of the role reversal of Carrie and Max this year.

Gail: I love the details in this shot and the one of the market shelves. It looks like a random assortment of remotes and calculators and jars on shelves, but it’s actually very organized.

Sara: Are they selling remote controls without the TVs that they control? 

Sara: Chekhov’s flight recorder strikes again! Sorry, I have nothing intelligent to say about the device of this damn flight recorder because I find it so freaking hilarious. 

Gail: I love how we are seeing the journey of this flight recorder and all of the different people who are getting their hands on it.

Sara: This show is really making me feel sympathy for Haqqani, which is completely wild. Look how he’s softly dressed in the light here. Total character rehab happening this season on all fronts. Numan Acar has infused him with a real weariness and softness that’s added so many new layers to what was once just a classic villain. 

Gail: I agree, Numan Acar has done an outstanding job with his portrayal of Haqqani. The writers approach to softening him has paired wonderfully with the direction of the show and has led to great shots like this of Haqqani, the man and father.

Sara: Gail pointed this out on the podcast. As the conversation progresses and Hayes veers off script he literally turns away from Linus. Subtle but effective. The use of body language this season has been pretty great.

Gail: The choreography has been fantastic, I agree. Wellington has ditched his suit and has rolled up his sleeves. His calm demeanor and thoughtful counsel that we’ve come to know about him is clearly about to be tested.

Sara: IJLTP.

Gail: When one door (seemingly) closes, another one opens.

Sara: IJLTP.

Gail: The blue lights behind her are gorgeous.

Sara: “CATASTROPHIC ERROR” 

Gail: The details! And much foreshadowing!

Gail: Things start out friendly and at a distance and then we rapidly move into tighter shots as Mike reveals to Saul just how bad the optics are for Carrie right now.

Sara: This is such a lovely shot and I love all Homeland rooftop scenes. Sometimes Carrie’s smoking, sometimes she’s having a panic attack, sometimes both things are happening at once. See how I turned this into a thing about Carrie? 

Sara: I don’t know if this is a new choice by Claire, but recently I feel like Carrie has a habit of literally turning away from difficult conversations. Anyway, this Carrie/Saul scene was incredible.

Gail: There has been a subtle shift to her personality this season. It must be hard to face her new reality and looking at Saul has to be one of the more daunting reminders of what it used to be.

Sara: It struck my while watching (and rewatching and rewatching) that Saul is literally the only human on the planet who could have this conversation with her. He knows when to push and when to relent, when to raise his voice and when to lower it. He really does manage her. Likewise, she knows when and where to strike. It goes without saying that Claire and Mandy are incredible here. This scene is really a testament to how invaluable the foundation of watching two characters (and actors) develop a relationship, in real time, over ten years, is for the audience. It massively enhances the performances and the dramatic weight of the scene. 

Gail: Sara!! You are buying into my Ivan/Saul convo theory (from “A False Glimmer”)!! I agree with everything you said and would add that with all of that being true, Saul can’t possibly think Carrie is getting on that plane back to rehab willingly.

(Sara: Guess he should have gotten the handcuffs then...)

Gail: What a stunning shot. I gasped when I saw it. Not because Haqqani was turning himself in. That I expected. But how Carrie witnesses it and reacts to it. The last time Carrie was that close to Haqqani she almost shot him. I Khan’t believe how much things have changed.

Sara: Gail, khan you not? Anyway, I agree, it’s a stunning shot. I can’t properly articulate why I love it so much so: IJLTP.

Sara: I know the show did something like when Carrie woke up from being drugged in “Why Is This Night Different?” I won’t check, because I don’t care to revisit that episode ever again. Gail, can you verify? 

Gail: They did and it was eerily similar. Big difference though: Quinn was saving/protecting Carrie and Fibrooz is most definitely not doing the same for Max.

Gail: The bookend to the opening scene with Max. The flight recorder has made its way into another backpack, heading up a mountain. I LOVE the color in this scene and how the flight recorder is on a JOURNEY.

Sara: Quite possibly the funniest scene on this show ever.

Gail: This spy is heading into the cold...

Sara: “Carrie, no!” … “CARRIE YES!”

Gail: Yevgeny’s (partly faux) nonchalance (he sneaks a peek!) and Carrie’s focused stare say so much without saying a word. No looking out the window for Carrie this time, we know where her mind is at.

Sara: Carrie stares straight ahead. Yevgeny can’t help but turn and look at her. Truly iconic. I know I say that about everything, but this really is I-CON-IC! 

[saizoswifey]

AKA our favorite thing in the world !!!!!!! jsjsjsjdfkjsfj I love you so much thank you for this ask @catchthespade !! I’m not replying to this directly because I wanted to add images and going right from the ask makes the layout stupid lmao. (and I fucking hate tumblr because you can’t add text between nicely bunched images and it downgrades the quality to fucking hell but here we are)…

This gets semi-N//SFW

______________________

Okay SO. Saizo is one of the most intensely jealous characters in the game. He even gets jealous of Yukimura:

I’ll put the rest under a cut for length purposes….this is LONG [seriously] and also mild spoilers for event stories to (hopefully) come…

AND LET’S NOT FORGET 

Obviously, he is pissed but not going to hurt Yukimura in any way. I think in a lot of ways he turns his jealous feelings into teasing/poking fun at the person he is jealous of. It’s his defense mechanism and he likes to push their buttons or make them look like a complete idiot in order to ease his anxieties and make himself feel better. 

We know his jealousy goes far enough that in canon he keeps MC from screaming during sex so Yukimura does not hear it, and he also has been known to keep Yukimura and Chibi Sasuke busy in order to not be interrupted with MC. 

Saizo literally gives ZERO FUCKS about what is going on around them when it comes to MC and his jealousy. He’ll ruin anything, he’ll stop anything, he’ll make the biggest fucking scene. We saw it in his route when he swiped her up from the faux wedding. There’s another event upcoming, in which MC is chosen for a lead part in a performance (in which she must kiss the male lead). At first, the male lead chosen is Yukimura, and Saizo seems to not care one bit, he doesn’t seem threatened. And I mean, Yukimura is his bestie and he trusts him so that makes sense, it’s a play kiss with no meaning. However, Yukimura gets sick and the part lands on Sasuke (BIG ninja Sasuke, not chibi). Saizo. Is. Pissed.  He literally jumps on the stage and ruins the whole fucking things by stealing MC and running away before they can kiss because he won’t allow it. 

Now, these are all “friendly” encounters with jealousy. However. I think Saizo has a very dark side to how possessive he can be when it comes to MC. 

We’ve seen in canon him mentioning several times that he will kill men if they try to see her intimately. In an upcoming ES we see just how pissy Saizo can get when he gets jealous of someone who ISN’T a friendly threat but a random stranger. MC volunteers to help at a nearby school but the teacher ends up being a real creepo. Saizo knows it right away but MC doesn’t listen or understand and continues to go there despite the fact that she is starting to receive letters from an unknown stalker. Saizo goes into freak-out mode and keeps watch of her from a distance 24/7. He shows up at the school purposefully to send a message to the guy, and the moment he DOES end up making a move, Saizo reveals himself AND HIS SWORD. 

Saizo may be the kind-hearted softie when it comes to MC and Yukkins, but the cold and calculating, unflinching Saizo is still very much a part of him. He has no qualms with murder and death, and since he holds all of like 3 people dear to him, he will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. 

SO, what sets his jealousy/possessiveness off the most? 

When someone has known MC longer than he has/someone who appears to be very close with MC. Saizo may have met MC long ago but he wasn’t able to be by her side and he’s pretty self-conscious about that fact. He doesn’t like it when someone tries to show they know her more intimately than he does. 

MC talking about other men, ESPECIALLY when they’re in bed together or have alone time. It’s few and far between they get quiet moments together so the last thing he wants to hear is about another guy no matter the context. 

MC not listening when he tries to warn her about someone or tell her not to do something. He’s got a sixth sense for trash people and he’s usually pretty easy going, so when he tells you to stay away from someone its for a good reason. Not to mention the fact that it’s hurtful to have your S/O ignore your advice in order to spend time with someone else. 

Anxiety after almost dying or losing MC. 

Of course, there are lots of other reasons, but I think these are the most prevalent, the ones that will actually get a huge rise out of Saizo. As far as other random jealousy/possessive HC’s, Dare I say……yandere???: 

Absolutely keeps tabs on you like at all times. If it’s not him himself(which it usually is) he sends Kiyohiro to watch and report back. If he even so much as WHIFFS someone is being creepy towards you he is ending that shit right away. 

How he takes care of them depends on the level of creep. And maybe how he’s feeling that day. If they can be scared off easily he could simply drop into their room in the dead of night, wake them up with a blade to the throat, “shhh, quiet now or I may just slip.” Perhaps he slips something into their evening tea and carries their unconscious body to the nearest cliff or into the woods. Maybe he writes a “love letter” in MC’s hand and lures them to a remote area, sword ready and Utsusemi ready to gobble some plucked eyes. Either way, MC will be none the wiser. 

“Hm? The grocer disappeared? That is strange…so what’s for dinner, little lady?” 

Has no qualms being vocal about his jealousy (most of the time). If it strikes his nerve just right he’ll come out and say he doesn’t like XYZ and wants you to stop. Other times, you have to pay attention to when he is being bitchy and distant. 

If he could, he’d keep you locked away all to himself. He has real issues with love/ownership/things because of his childhood. He’s never known how to have things, especially not precious things. So how does he control himself? He knows it’s not right to keep you locked away, so instead, he controls what he can keep to himself. Your ears showing, your skin showing, your dango, your blush/pleasured expressions, your moans. He doesn’t want anyone else experiencing this stuff of yours. 

That being said, he WOULD 100% lock you the fuck up if you were down for it. He’d get you a pretty little ribbon to tie around your neck and a comfortable room with things to keep you occupied, he’d bring you your meals and feed you, he’d bathe you, he’d tie you up sometimes when he was feeling extra anxious. 

On the off-chance someone actually did hurt you, its game over. It doesn’t matter if they had their hands on you, they left a small wound/mark, or something worse–they’re dead. Saizo will go into autopilot and obliterate the person. Bloodbath. 

In his efforts to keep you safe, he sometimes loses his sense of what is right and wrong with control. At his worst, he WILL refuse to allow you to leave his sight. By any means necessary. 

Blocking exits. Tieing you up (he knows the best and most efficient ways to immobilize you in seconds). Drugging you (such as putting you to sleep). 

When he’s feeling extra insecure he’ll claim you for himself. Tear your clothes off and tease you until you admit he’s the only one you love. He’ll make you say his name over and over again, and hearing it will ease his worries. He may even be inclined to break his own rules and let someone hear him fucking you so they know you belong to him. 

If you’re out in public and he starts to get jealous, he’ll pull you roughly into a dark secluded corner or onto a rooftop and tease you, pull at your collar and grip your face so you can’t look away from his intense expression

“Keep this up little lady, and I’m going to have to punish you.” He nips at your exposed clavicle. “Or…was that what you were hoping for all along?” 

Out of spite and pure jealousy he would 10/10 fuck you in a space such as a person’s bedroom or work, or with an item of that person’s. A way to get back at them and know he’s claimed you there or while you were wearing that (like fucking you on top of someone’s haori or with a hairpin they gave you in your hair before he gave it back to them) and they will never know. 

Has NO PROBLEMS talking about having sex with you. As long as they don’t see you its chill. He will let it out that he just had your legs spread 10 minutes ago and smile. He’ll go into detail. Especially when someone is trying to intimidate him over you. 

“Sorry, she won’t be able to meet you tomorrow like she promised. She’ll be quite sore…if you get what I mean. She looks quite sweet and docile but don’t let that fool you, she’s a different person when the lights are off. It’s no myth some women are wild in bed when you least expect it. Some night she asks for it so many times I have to wake up and check for bruises ^^ well, anyway, look at me going on when I’m sure with a face like that all of this is completely foreign to you. Don’t be discouraged, someone always has to be the late bloomer on the branch, hm?”

Definitely has a mental list of all of the people he’s threatened or killed over you 

Sometimes Kiyohiro has to step in and warn people to GTFO and leave before Saizo ends up murdering them 

Has had the urge to kill Inuchiyo more than once LOL 

Sometimes uses his Kotodama when he’s jealous. 

Maybe it’s during an interrogation of the person trying to steal you from him or harm you. If they deny, he’ll use his power to get them to confess the truth before torturing them. Maybe they lose an appendage for every time they lied or stalked MC. 

He’ll use it to keep you near him, keep you still, after your life was threatened. He needs time to look over your body, check for injuries, make sure you’re okay and tell you how much each finger and tear mean the world to him. 

HATES WHEN OTHER MEN TOUCH YOU. It disgusts him if they had ill intentions and he hates to think that you had to endure that. He’ll order you to strip and ask you where they touched you. He’ll wash the areas himself and caress you with his hands. He’ll whisper in your ear how you belong to him, and kiss over the areas until his anxieties disappear and he feels like he can no longer smell them or feel their energy. He’ll dispose of what you were wearing in an effort to rid you both of the memory completely. 

[uneryx]

Renee Gets Salty About Dark Magic

This post got long, and got away from me, so I’ll tl;dr it

1. dark magic is a metaphor for consumption and materialism and is ultimately bad because it harms others unnecessarily and is not a sustainable resource

2. the elves were dicks for banishing humans but (especially if humans sucked all the magic out of the land themselves) they were kind of justified, even if it was an extreme measure

3. Eating meat is not the same as dark magic if you’re looking at things from an animistic point of view, which the elves likely do

4. it’s okay to like problematic characters and you don’t have to portray Ezran as a monstrous enfant terrible to feel okay about thinking Viren is justified in what he does.  In fact, pretty please stop doing this, everyone in all fandoms. It’s fine if you don’t like the protags but that doesn’t mean you get to say Ezran or Rayla or whoever is EVIL. It’s called Ron the Death Eater and it’s a fandom trope that has pissed me off for going on fifteen years. Deliberately misreading the text isn’t cute. Stop doing it.

5. The show isn’t over, be patient, you’ll probably get to see some comeuppance for stuff anyway. And if you don’t, there’s always fanfiction. 

6. For the love of baby adoraburrs please tag posts that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because Viren is portrayed as a classic villain/elves good humans bad/the protags aren’t held accountalbe” with “TDP CRITICAL” I would greatly appreciate it because I’m getting super annoyed with posts that deliberately misrepresent canon to uphold a favored side and it’s affecting my enjoyment of the show. Now! Actual long and discourse-heavy post under the cut!

 Ugh I don’t want to start a big ol’ argument with people because I’m still on vacation and don’t want to spend the rest of today arguing about cartoons on the internet, but this has been on the kettle for a while and I feel QUITE STRONGLY about some of these things, so just... let me express my views here and don’t come for me because I’m about to talk about religion and sociology. 

Dark Magic is a metaphor for unchecked consumption and capitalism.  1. The theory i’m seeing floating around that got my dander up is that the elves and dragons drained the western half of the continent of magic to keep magic away from humans. I think that, based on what we’ve learned from canon, this is highly unlikely and would be weaker writing than what I think actually happened. Instead, Dark magic was going on for a good solid 800 years (Rise of Elarion is 2000 years before canon) before Sol Regem faced off with Viard (1200 years before canon). The division of Xadia was another 200 years after that. Humans had a solid honking millennium of unchecked dark magic. It is quite likely that the reason the west is entirely devoid of magic, and that humans were banished there, is because they sucked all the magic out of that half themselves. Poor innocent baby humans nothing. They got a taste of power and progress and, like real world humans, let that get WAY out of control.

2. “But Lujanne eats bugs, she’s a hypocrite for saying Claudia can’t squish bugs for pancakes” I want you to go down to your local new-age/witchy bookstore and find yourself an animist that eats meat. You are going to get glared at SO HARD if you whip out the “you think animals have souls but you eat meat!” chestnut. Because here’s the thing.

Eating meat/animal products is an act of life, necessary to sustain the life of someone else. We don’t vilify wolves for eating deer. You gotta eat to live your life, and the human (or, we can assume, bipedal humanoid) diet includes a need for complex protein chains, quite often found in animal meat. 

But the reason that we find cannibalism repulsive in western society is because it’s eating another human, despite the fact that humans are made of meat. It’s eating something that we consider sentient, dignified and possessed of a soul. Of course, the taboo also derives from the fact that you can contract prion disease from consuming human meat, but people in 11th century Normandy didn’t know that.  It is quite likely, especially given what we’ve seen of magical creatures and Ezran’s ability to talk to animals, that elves view non-human/elf creatures as sentient and possessed of a soul. If that’s the case, then OF COURSE they would see dark magic as horrific.

But eating meat is not on the same level because, as we see from the assassins, death is a part of life, and sometimes necessary. I imagine that hunting and taking a creature’s life for food is an act that is done with respect. The creatures are honored or thanked before they’re eaten or turned into leather. Highly ritualized to dignify that creature’s life.  Dark magic doesn’t do that. Dark magic sucks the whole life out, without so much of a how do you do.  It’s treating a person like a thing. It’s sucking all the life and essence out of someone so you can shoot fireballs or make fluffy pancakes. Lets be real - you don’t need to do either of those things, so the creature thus died in vain. 3. “The elves are selfish bastards for hogging all the magic.” I agree. Granted, their attitudes may have cooled in the ensuing centuries. It’s a new dawn, the era of Zubeia. We might see elves getting over their uppity selves and working to help teach humans magic. We might also see the show explore that kind of prejudice as Callum learns more magic. In fact, I hope we do. However, two wrongs dont make a right.  If Japan bombs the absolute fuckshit out of Hawaii, that does not make it okay to flash-fry Nagasaki with a weapon that blights the land and its people for years and years afterward.

To the elves (who are magical creatures and therefore totally usable as spell components), that’s what dark magic is. Suddenly, haha oh fuck, the humans have a fucking NUKE that every elf and dragon in Xadia is vulnerable to.  If a weapon was devised that ONLY a certain portion of the population was affected by, you better bet your sweet bippy that people would panic and make it forbidden and illegal, and severely punish the people who created it. ESPECIALLY if those people were already marginalized. Sucks, don’t it? Doesn’t mean the writing is bad for portraying people having a realistic reaction to something that is harmful to them. The elves aren’t justified in hogging the magic, and I hope future chapters will explore that. But the elves ARE a liiiiiittle bit justified in freaking out. I hold they could’ve come up with a better solution than BANISH HUMANS, but they didn’t. Makes for interesting story conflict, doesn’t it? 4. “Humans NEED dark magic!” / “Calling dark magic a shortcut is dumb” Did they tho? Did they really? Really really? We, modern day humans, don’t NEED smart phones (which rely on several rare earth minerals and are causing untold ecological disaster in areas where they’re miend). We, modern day humans, don’t NEED coal power (which is controlled by coal companies, who keep telling us that we totally do, despite many scientists saying that renewable energy is ready to go whenever). We don’t NEED blackberries from Mexico year-round, or a whole hell of a lot of the things we have come to rely on and consider part of our every day lives. All of these things are unnecessary and shortcuts to progress.

The only - ONLY! - good, necessary thing we’ve seen in canon that dark magic was required for was using the magma titan’s heart for saving people from famine.

A lot of the complaints about sustainable energy and efforts to heal the planet as climate change become increasingly a crisis stem from the fact that doing things RIGHT, in a way that is sustainable and doesn’t strip every last resource out of our home, is that it takes time. It takes SO MUCH TIME to do things properly. Yeah, we can keep going with our coal and our gas-guzzler cars and our fracking and our rare-earth metals... but we ARE going to run out. And then what?  Dark magic is the same principle. Eventually, you’re going to run out of resources. 

5. Where I think the show is going My main beef with those (and there’s a lot of ya, so I’m not intending to single anyone out) who say that the writing is lazy for dark magic bad elfs good is that the show is not over. Wonderstorm is doing their damndest to give us the saga. And they’ve said, out right, that there WILL be books, if nothing else.

You can’t judge a story’s merits when it’s only been half told. Right now, what the show has done is it has shown us the worst and best of the elves (for example, Khessa’s purity test vs Rayla refusing to kill Ez so she doesn’t perpetuate a cycle of violence) and the worst and best of the humans (ex: Viren forcibly turning thousands of people into monsters against their will vs Viren risking his life in order to save thousands of people from famine). The show has done well to demonstrate that there is good and bad in everyone, and it’s the choices you make and the respect you show others’ autonomy that makes you a good or bad person. The dominoes are in place. The saga has only begun. Being mad that Ezran burned an army (that he likely knew from Soren was invulnerable to fire) or that Aanya shot Kasef in the face (when Opeli would have told her that Kasef conspired behind Ezran’s back to usurp the throne, which is AN ACT OF WAR btw) means you aren’t looking at the big picture. There WILL be consequences for those actions in later seasons, mark my words.

I’m sorry if you’re a Viren or Claudia stan, but they have made choices that hurt other people, and it is in no way shape or form Ezran or Callum or Rayla or ANYONE ELSE’S fault that they made the choices they did. Instead of being mad at the show for not portraying your fav as an innocent victim, be glad that you got such a wonderfully complex set of villains who, quite likely, will get a bomb-ass redemption arc. In fact, I’ll bet you anything that Viren’s walk back from the edge has already begun. The dude fucking DIED, and he’s not going to be eager to get in there and get all grabby with the power any time soon. 

That’s what good writing IS - conflict. Tension. People making morally questionable choices. We like it because every day people are hypocrites and morally questionable. You, and I, and everyone we know. Nobody’s perfect and getting cranky and painting the protagonists with the broad villain brush so you can feel good about liking a problematic fave is... some peak tumblr bullshit, tbh.  It’s okay to like characters who aren’t perfect. How fucking boring fiction would be if everyone was perfect.

Now if I can ask my mutuals to please tag their criticisms of the show that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because dark magic is portrayed so negatively/they don’t hold the protags accountable/elves good humans bad” with “TDP critical” I would greatly appreciate it. It’s getting to the degree where things are becoming very not fun and making me cranky.  Thank you, Renee out. 

[valentines-in-london]

I Need Fire (Part 1)

Gif by @classic-rock-roller

The Dirt!Tommy Lee x Original Female Character

Summary:  Rayne moved to LA a few years ago and has never really fit in.  While most of the Sunset Strip girls were movie star beautiful, with thin builds and blonde, Rayne stood at 5′10 in flats, had curves that no diet would make disappear and had big red curly hair.  The only person that ever made her feel normal was her best friend and room mate Jo.  One night Jo talks Rayne into going to a house party on the strip that promises to be a circus.  Rayne never expected to catch the eye of the ringleader himself.

Authors Note:  Hello everyone!  I’ve been so inspired reading so many of the amazing works people have written since The Dirt came out.  I’ve had this story in my head for a little bit and finally got the courage to put it to text and post it.  I’d love to hear any and all feedback anyone has, my asks and inbox will always be open!  It is my first time ever posting a fic, so if I do anything wrong or against the rules please let me know.  I think the community of people writing and reading these Dirt fics are amazing and supportive and I hope you all find some enjoyment in my story!  

I am also extremely inspired by music when I write so I’d be happy to post any and all songs that inspired chapters, or that I use in chapters.  Our first chapter is absolutely inspired by Stranglehold by Ted Nugent.  

On with the god damn show….

Word Count: 1,800

Chapter 1

Rayne looked herself in the mirror one final time before spraying a few more pumps of Flexnet into her voluminous red curly hair that fell down to the small of her back.  Rayne took the teasing comb to her roots one last time before using her hands to fluff her hair into place.  Her eye lids rimmed in black eyeliner smoked out with blacks and browns.  Her makeup was absolutely fitting of the place she was going tonight.  

Her best friend Jo had talked her into going over to a house party on the sunset strip.  Jo had gone to the Whiskey earlier this week to see a band and when she laid eyes on the singer she knew she wanted to fuck him.  Rayne had to give it to her friend, when she had a goal she achieved it no matter what.  As a matter of fact Rayne wasn’t even completely sure they were exactly invited to the party, but that wouldn’t stop Jo from getting what she wanted.  

“Ray!  Are you about ready I want to get over there!” Jo banged on the bedroom door.

Rayne looked over herself one final time in the mirror pulling her leather jacket on.  Rayne didn’t hate her body but she looked very different from most of the women she saw on a regular basis out on the Sunset Strip.  Rayne had curves, major curves, despite going to the gym on an almost daily basis.  She had large hips, a big ass, smaller waist and her boobs we’re much more than a handful.  Rayne also physically stood out on the Strip, standing at 5'10.  Most of the women on the Strip were stick thin, athletic, and flat as pancakes (except the strippers who loved their fake tits).  

Rayne knew she would get stares tonight and probably a few comments.  Tonight she chose leather pants that laced up at the crotch, they didn’t really fit her properly but she masked that with a loose fitted off the shoulder mesh top.  Around her neck was a leather collar with a D ring and her boots also had chains on them and jingled as she walked.

“Ray!  Come on!” Jo shouted once more hitting the door louder.

“Coming!” Rayne huffed opening the door sarcastically asking,  "Well, are you ready to go?“

“Oh Ray!” Jo whistled opening the front door.  "You trying to snatch up a dirty rocker boy tonight too?“

“Last thing I want.” Rayne laughed walking through the door locking it behind her.  "I’m going as moral support and hopefully some decent alcohol.  If they’re in a band they better have some decent booze.“

"Sure, sure.” Jo fiendishly smiled.  “Booze is good for you, it makes you more flirty.  Remember that time you got up on the ba…”

“Yes!”  Rayne raised her voice hushing her friend, “I remember it, although I wish every day that I could forget it.”

It didn’t take them long to walk to the apartment where the party was happening.  They were cat called multiple times on the way there, mostly aimed towards Jo, which she loved. Sometimes Rayne wish she looked like Jo, she was an average height, platinum blonde and a body to kill.  Jo could’ve been a Playboy bunny if she wanted to, but instead was in school to be a dental assistant.  Jo was also so confident, it was like she walked on air.  Where Rayne used her wit and sarcasm to deflect people, Jo used flirtation and charm to draw them in, together the two were ying and yang and had been friends since Rayne moved out to LA three years ago.

“I can hear the music from here, we’re getting close.”  Jo turned toward Rayne.  "We have to use the window, the door is apparently nailed shut from the cops.“

"Oh yeah I’m sure this is a good idea.” Rayne shook her head laughing to herself.

As they approached the apartment was crawling with people around their age.  It was a good mix but definitely leaned towards female.  Not a shock, especially if the rest of the band were as good looking as Jo described the singer to be.

“At least the music is good.”  Rayne complimented while they climbed the stairs and through the window.  Stranglehold by Ted Nugent had just started playing.  Rayne always thought it was a sexy song.  The apartment was small and packed with people, couples making out on the couch, guys puking in trash cans and girls leading men through various doors.

“I’m gonna go find Vince.” Jo purred into my ear, a devilish smile on her face.

“Alright I’ll be around.” Rayne said heading towards what she believed to be the living room.  To say it was sensory overload was an understatement as she looked around trying to take everything in.  Rayne saw one guy lighting himself on fire, and a group of guys doing lines off a plate before her eyes landed on a girl pulling on the arm of a brunette sitting at the table in the center.

“Check this out dude, you’re gonna fuckin freak.” The guy said before dropping to his knees going down on the girl in front of everyone.

Jesus Christ.  Rayne thought to herself before her eyes landed on a counter lined with alcohol bottles.  She took a step towards the counter, basically stepping over the two putting on a show for everyone.

There were plenty of bottles of Jack Daniels, which Rayne always thought tasted like piss.  But at the end of the line was a bottle of Jameson, still not her favorite whiskey, but she would have to make due with it.

The room was now filled with loud moans as everyone’s attention was on the act happening in the middle of the room.  Rayne unscrewed the lid and took a swig from the bottle.  Ah fuck it.  She heard the guy say people were gonna freak so she might as well stay and watch what was going to happen.

“Alright dudes, here it goes!”. The brunette said happily before standing up, looking over the room with pride before his eyes locked on the redhead across the room, the smile dropping slightly from his face.  His hand quickly went up to wipe his mouth of any remnants of cum from the girl.  The woman’s hand went straight to where his mouth had just left continuing to work herself until she screamed and a stream of liquid shot out of her.  Rayne stood there eyes wide she had never seen that outside a porno, and in all honesty didn’t even think it was actually possible.  The blonde woman kept her legs spread sounds of pleasure still coming from her as she came down from her high.

Deciding that she had seen enough, Rayne took the bottle of Jameson and grabbed for her pack of cigarettes.  As she turned to walk towards an outside balcony she saw she noticed the brunette man staring at her from across the room.  Or maybe not her.  Rayne didn’t know why he’d be staring at her when he obviously had a girlfriend.  She put a cigarette between her lips and made her way toward the balcony.  As she got outside Rayne lit her cigarette taking a long drag from it, blowing a steady ream of smoke from her lips.  She placed the bottle of Jameson on the ledge of the balcony and leaned over on her arms bobbing her head and hips to the music.

“Wow.” She heard from behind her, causing her to turn around startled.  Standing behind her was the brunette man from before, she didn’t realize how tall he was.  He towered over her, almost unbelievably so, she was used to standing taller than most men.  He was in a leather jacket and a black and red shirt with leather pants.

Taking another drag from her cigarette Rayne looked questioningly at the man in front of her.

“I haven’t seen you here before.” The man said.  

“Yeah well,” Rayne exhaled smoke.  "My friend is here to fuck your singer.“

The man chuckled, "She’ll have to get in line.”

It was Rayne’s turn to let out a healthy laugh this time, “You’ve never met my friend.”

“What’s your name?” He took a step closer to Rayne.

Rayne smiled up at him leaning in closer to him.  "Shouldn’t you be getting back to your girlfriend?“

"She’s not my…”

“TOMMY!  WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” A shrill voice shouted for him.  Rayne watched as he closed his eyes and sighed.

Taking a final drag from the cigarette and stubbing it out Rayne said again a smug smile on her face, “You should get back to her, Tommy.”

As she went to step around him to go back into the apartment she felt him gently grab her hand to stop her. “Tell me your name, give me that at least.”

Hm, so this is what Jo must feel like.  "I’ll see you around.“ Rayne said simply before walking back inside the apartment being immediately grabbed by Jo when she got back to the kitchen, Rayne was glad to see her friend it made her forget about the tingling sensation in her hand from Tommy’s touch.

"Oh my god Ray, I haven’t been fucked like that in my entire life.  You ready to go?  I accomplished my mission.” Jo smiled big, hair more messy than before and lipstick smeared.

“Yeah, let’s roll.  I want details.”  Rayne smiled at her best friend.

“Oh and you’ll get them.  Copious details.” Jo giggled happily wrapping her arm around Rayne’s waist.  "Anything of interest happen while I was getting off?“

Rayne looked around the apartment, eyes landing on the man she now knew was named Tommy who had just come in from outside.  His eyes were still locked on Rayne.  "Nope, nothing to report.”

“It’ll happen for you one day Ray.  I know it.” This is why Rayne loved Jo, she had a heart of gold when it came to her friends.  Rayne was a bit of a romantic but had sort of given up on the idea of romance since moving to LA.

“We shall see.”  Rayne looked down smiling softly.  "Come on let’s go home.  I’ll pour us both glasses of actual good whisky.“

Tommy watched the two girls as they exited through the window until they were out of sight.  "Tommy!  My man!  You know I can’t stand Bullwinkle but I’ll never tire of watching her squirt.”

“Nikki, I think I’m in love.”

“What with Bullwinkle?  No you’re in love with her pussy.” Nikki smacked Tommy on his back.

“No not with her.  Someone else.”  Tommy spoke as if in a daze.

“Who?”

“I don’t know.” Tommy stood up straighter, “but I’m gonna find out dude.”

[sneakronicity]

A few Endgame thoughts under the cut.  SPOILERS!

SPOILERS!

ALL THE SPOILERS!

LOTS OF SPOILERS!

I’ve been trying to sit down and put my feelings about Endgame into words, like work through all I’m feeling and going through, but I just can’t seem to do it.  I’ve had some good conversations about it, but to try to make a post about it is too hard.  But here goes,

There were a lot of parts I enjoyed:  

~Natasha leading what was left of the Avengers, finally letting her guard down, calling them her family.  That scene hurt my heart ~ Tony finally having peace with Pepper and their daughter ~ Scott.  Just everything to do with Scott ~ The team shenanigans were fun ~ The final battle was well done.  When the dusted people returned the whole theatre went crazy ~ Steve weilding Mjolnir also got a huge cheer, and it was pretty wicked ~ And as if I even have to say it, but the Clintasha scenes.  omg the Clintasha scenes.  This is what has been missing from these movies, and I’m so glad they finally reestablished their bond, that these two broken people love each other more than anyone or anything else in the world, that they would give their lives so the other could live.  Just everything was so beautiful and heart wrenching and I will never be over this.  There was more intimacy and chemistry in that forehead touch than anything else.  Don’t try to sell me “he loves his wife!” after that shit, sorry.  He might as well have been kissing cardboard at the end.

There’s more I’m sure, but that’s what’s jumping out now.  Unfortunately, there was a lot of bad as well.  When I left the theatre Thursday night, I was mostly okay.  The hype of the audience had be pumped up, but the more I think about the movie the angrier and more disappointed I get.  Friday I was in bad shape, I literally cried all day, so much I had a massive headache that lasted into Saturday.  It’s a little better today, but not much.  I never got over my hatred and anger at AoU, how am I supposed to get past this?

So that brings us to the bad:

~ Thor.  At first I was okay with his story, because Bruce clearly really cared, and Thor was obviously going through so much, but when the took him back to the base his depression was turned into a joke.  Like oh, look how he let himself go! and he keeps going off topic about the people he lost but it’s funny!  And in the end it just felt like he went nowhere.  They tore him completely down and then just left him there.  No building him back up, nothing that felt hopeful.  It felt like a huge disservice to his character. ~ I don’t really care about Bruce, but fixing his Hulk problem off screen was kinda weird, and he continued to feel dumbed down in this film.  I swear the Bruce from the first Avengers film was a fluke and has never been the same since. ~ Steve.  Civil War really put me off Steve as a character, and other fandom reasons as well, but when he picked up Mjolnir man I was rooting for him again.  Then we got his ending, and it felt so selfish and counterproductive to his entire character.  Even Peggy herself moved on and had along, happy life, and told him to do the same, but no.  He couldn’t let go of this brief romance he had all those years ago despite her living a full life without him and had to go back, had to abandon his new friends, and live the life he was robbed of.  I mean I get it, but it made me dislike him all over again. ~ Clint.  Where do I even start?  Y’all know my feelings on how dirty Clint has been done in the MCU, but this... they had the opportunity to fix him.  There were so many ways they could have done his story in this film, so many unique and interesting directions they could have taken him, and they literally picked the more boring and predictable one possible.  Who honestly didn’t believe his family was going to get dusted and then returned at the end?  Everyone saw that coming.  And he remains a completely undeveloped character, no different now than he was when first introduced, because yet again all the important character development was done entirely off screen.  He had some great moments, don’t get me wrong, and Renner freaking knocked the acting out fo the park, but Clint is still so one dimensional and he never will be a fully developed character as long as the family exists, as they’re used as a magic fix it for everything.  This is the third time there was a huge character altering moment that will be brushed aside off screen.  Mind fucked by Loki?  Fixed off screen.  Lost the organization he trusted and devoted his life to, discovering some of his missions may have been for HYDRA? Fixed off screen.  Spent five years on a murder spree? Fixed off screen.  All fixed by spending time with his magic plot device family.  I’m so angry, I hate everything about this, and I will never ever understand how anyone who loves Clint Barton can support that plot when all it has done is damage his character. ~ Natasha.  Oh, my sweet baby girl, you deserved so much better.  There is a great article out there by Vanity Fair that sums up a lot of what I’ve been raging about for years in regards to how Natasha has been handled in the MCU.  I’ll link it at the end here.  But basically I don’t feel like any writer has ever gotten her, has ever known what to do with her as her own character, and has always used her to service a dude’s plot.  This is why I will always feel making her part of Cap’s supporting cast was a huge mistake. I’ve been saying for years that the Russo’s and M&M don’t really care about her character further than how he relates to Steve, and she basically became little more than an extension of Steve, his right hand, there to support him. He got to have deep relationships with other characters, while her most important relationship was stripped way and she only had Steve. Finally this movie we got away from that, but it became painfully obvious that he never cared about her as much as she did him.  This team, this family, meant everything to her, but she didn’t mean everything to them, and that breaks my heart.  Then we come to the end, and it’s clear Clint loves her with everything he is, and would have traded anything for her, but the narrative makes it feel like somehow he deserves to live more because of his stupid family and I hate that.  I hate that she died so early, the final battle was lacking so much from her absence, and in the end Tony gets a whole ass funeral and nobody has anything for her.  This was not a satisfying conclusion to her arc at all and I will be forever pissed.  You know what would have been amazing?  If her arc concluded with her weilding Mjolnir, therefore proving she was the best person she could be and worthy as all get out.  

I know I didn’t mention Tony, but that’s the one arc I don’t know how to feel about.  In some ways I count it in the good column because I always felt he was going to go out in a blaze of glory like that, and he got so much love and respect at the end, getting to die surrounded by everyone he loved, but at the same time he had found love and peace and lost it all.  Why couldn’t he have a happy ending?

I should probably wrap this up now and save all my questions for another post, because man do I have a lot of questions and think a lot of this shit just didn’t make sense.  Like honestly, just go back and grab Natasha from right before she died and bring her to the present.  If changing the past doesn’t affect the future, and Past!Gamora can be running around and Nebula can kill her past self with no consequences then why isn’t this a no brainer?  My head hurts, I hate time travel.

Anyways, more rambling some day when I can think again.  If you read this whole thing I applaud you.

Edit: whoops, forgot the article I said I’d link: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/04/avengers-endgame-black-widow-death-scarlett-johansson