#after every new anime episode i try and go see what everyone is talking about or whipping up :3c

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[musicalpancakes77]

hiiii whats this natsume show youre posting about it looks cute?

HI CRYPTID HIIII OMG im so glad you asked :3c Natsume Yuujinchou (aka Natsume's Book of Friends) is an anime that I discovered last winter after my grandpa and my grandpa's brother had passed and after my breakup during the holidays had left me like. DEPRESSED. Like I was having a hard time with my work and self care and feeling anything positive about myself. I actually didn't like this anime at first; it wasn't until suddenly I was HOOKED on all the subplots and the vast character development that I realized how important it was to me and how much better I felt about life. Like the development is subtle but by the time you register that it's happened, you're impressed how far Natsume has come. This anime got me through a very hard time of my life and it's very dear to me.

I'm SO happy that you asked about it that I've procrastinated my last two graduate statements to develop a little presentation for you LMAOOO It's going under the read more but please go ahead, peruse to your own whims :3c

(And if you ever want to watch the anime it's on crunchyroll with sub and dub (mostly) and the manga can be found if you want to read online. I'm broke bc otherwise I'd try and buy it but YES please, you want to talk to me about boy and his cat SOO bad OOOOOO)

[talkbycolor]

let me hold your hand forever.

A/N; i almost threw up writing this because its not the usual "omg i love this cute yandere boy, so silly!" shit i do

Pairing; "Rendacted" x GN!reader

CW; Ren/[REDACTED] having unhealthy, obsessive and possesive behavior, wow, who would have told / TW; mutilations, romanticizing mutilation by Ren side but MC is really terrified / this is an AU where MC rejected Ren's advances and he lost his infinite patience / character with extremely questionable ethics / wow another nsfw in this blog? / you’re lucky this isn’t visual / i know in canon Rendacted would never hurt MC BUT HEY god gave me the ability to write and im making that everyone else's problem / surreal strength for the sake of the plot, IMPORTANT POINT

It was quite comfortable, having a friend like Ren could even be strange, he looked like cotton candy and it was very nice to spend time together. But then again, you were just friends, it was a little strange that he mentioned being in a relationship with you.

But things have taken a bit of a drastic turn, Ren has spent his days trying to hang out with you, having lunch together, spending nights watching anime and horror movies, that would be nice if it didn't feel so overwhelming.

So it's time to confront him.

"Ren, hey, I know you like me a lot but we can't go out every day, I'm not always up for that so… I'll let you know when we can go out, okay?"

And there was only silence from the pink-haired boy, he seemed to be trying to smile unsuccessfully, just looking at you.

"Of course, angel, don't forget to call me!" He spoke nervously trying to hold back the storm in his throat.

Just when you were about to leave a hand grabbed your forearm, Ren was still looking at you with a smile, a sad smile.

"You're going to call me, right?" He asks, his eyes widening in desperation, Ren didn't want to lose you, he couldn't stand it, not again, what if you're thinking about slowly walking away?

"Sure, later" was the only thing you mentioned before pulling your arm to leave, it's not like you had an avoidant attachment pfff!

The days passed and life could be considered calm, you went out with your friends, you greeted your strange neighbor who loved to walk to her floors, work was not unpleasant and you even bought yourself a small dessert for dinner tonight.

You and Moth talked late into the night about the new episodes and since Haruko was so adorable, life felt peaceful once again. It's not that Ren was a problem, he was attractive and if you had enough self-esteem you would think you had a chance with him but…

I suppose not.

Speaking of Ren, what is he doing now? Visiting him would be a good idea, it's been days since they last spoke.

Once morning arrived you headed towards his large apartment and knocked on the door, not long after it was opened by Ren, who looked just like an abandoned puppy, you could almost see his eyes shine and his breath was lost just by seeing you in front of him. him.

"Angel, you're here! oh god, I-I'm so sorry for the mess, I didn't expect you to come… to my apartment…" It sounded a little strange, but it was just Ren being shy.

"Yeah uh… I'm sorry, are you busy? I can go, yes, maybe I should have let you know I was coming."

"No! NO! it's okay, you just surprised me, do you want a drink? I have your fav-… many options! I have many drink options" He corrected himself immediately with a smile, his face was almost the color of his hair and I was dying to say that I miss you so much.

"Or we can go out, do you want to visit the new cafe? Maybe we can-…"

“No” You interrupted, it sounded a little rude so you cleared your throat. "Now I'm not sure, I was just passing by to say hello, plus I don't have money to buy something…"

"I can buy it for you," he said almost immediately, his eyes fixed on you, almost sweating from having you close.

"That's very generous, Ren, but…"

"Please! It's your day off, right? We could go out and…"

"Ren, I'm not-…"

"Please, angel!" He begged, his hand had climbed to your arm and you didn't even notice, he was now gently squeezing your shoulder, wanting closeness, wanting to date, wanting you and you kept pushing him away.

The atmosphere was a little awkward now, you didn't know whether to be flattered that he thought you were interesting enough for Ren to want to spend time with you or scared by how desperate he looked about it.

"No thanks, I think I better go back to my apartment" You mentioned as you pushed his hand from your arm, you didn't even have time to turn to the door when Ren grabbed your arm tightly, a painful grip.

"Ren?"

"Can we be together, please? I-I'll make you feel special, I want you to be okay and I want you to…" his expression seemed so… surprised, to see you, embarrassed to act like that? scared of being abandoned? overstimulated? "all I want is to be with you!"

He almost roared out, his grip on your arm becoming more and more painful, he was pulling you away from the exit door.

"Ren, that hurts! REN! REN!"

"JUST LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND FOREVER!" He begged between screams, only a beeping sound existed in his head as he watched you fall to the ground in a pool of blood.

Now you were on the ground, screaming and crying out loud, it was agony, Ren had hurt you.

For fuck's sake, not only did he hurt you, he tore your fucking arm off and now you were writhing in your blood as you slowly lost consciousness.

Wake up.

Your body was still shaking, you were still terrified, and you had to escape, where was your arm? As soon as you woke up you found a sweaty Ren who was looking at you with a desperate and nervous smile.

It was a deranged look, almost immediately you started crying out of panic, your arm was gone, your arm, he tore it off, you were hyperventilating as you watched his left arm missing.

"REN! REN!!" You were sobbing in despair, the pool of blood was still on the floor, how long were you unconscious? not much because apparently Ren had tried to stop the bleeding and close the wound, seeing bandages full of blood made you vomit immediately, but that didn't stop you from crying in agony.

"Angel, please! s-stop crying, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me! FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T WANT TO! IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION!" He begged you as he sobbed himself, he had hurt you and that was something he never thought of doing, that he never wanted to do. "l-look, now we are equal, can you forgive me?"

What did he say ..?

Your throat had closed and the screams stopped, that guy was fucking deranged.

He ripped his left arm off of him.

For you.

He came up to hug you, wanting to be comforting, to make you feel accompanied in this, to give you love in such a dark time.

No no no no.

"NO! NO! NOOO! PLEASE, NO!" You screamed in panic as the tears came out, that couldn't be happening, disgust and terror filled your poor mind as you were caressed with so much love, Ren was going to take care of you and promised to never hurt you again.

"We'll be fine angel, just trust me, I'll take care of you." He spoke so lovingly, smiling as he held you, genuinely happy to be so close, to be able to touch you. "Now we match, right?"

He was joking at a moment like that, as if it were nothing, the sobs no longer came out, you could barely breathe while the tears didn't stop and he lulled you into your chest with the help of his only arm.

♡

[applestorms]

the winners & losers of death note

after repeatedly trying and failing to write this death note essay i'm just gonna go for it:

the fundamental flaw of L, whether you see this as a flaw/discrepancy in his character or the writing surrounding him itself, is the fact that by the time of his death, he has no clear win state. let me explain... by first talking extensively about light aljdsflksd.

MAJOR spoiler warning after this point. 3-ish (very long) sections.

1. light's goals: kira & utopian ideals (ft. fem!light)

i discussed this a bit in my tags on this post talking about how light's core character traits would translate over to a female version of himself, but to elaborate/summarize my thoughts further: i believe that light's fundamental flaw/weakness comes down to his desire to be Seen, to be recognized & validated by the people around him. i often see/hear people describing light's ultimate flaw as "ego," and while that's definitely a part of it, i think this is perhaps a more nuanced/neutral way of understanding it.

as has been pointed out before, light's goal of becoming the "god of the new world," isn't really an idea he immediately comes up with but rather is more of a retroactive justification that he clings to for the rest of the series after the initial rush of guilt he feels for murdering two people without thinking. this is perhaps even more obvious in the manga, as while episode 1 of the anime ends with light's claim to godhood, in the manga it takes him a lot longer to build up to that conclusion and really develop the full extent of his hubris. (EDIT: he totally says this in ch1 of the manga too, i just forgot. the point about it being retroactive justification still stands, though.) even so, i think post-death note light takes to this justification so easily for a reason: again, his desire to be seen.

before the death note, light takes a very understandable if somewhat flawed/juvenile approach to this sating this desire, specifically in how he aims to excel in every single system he is presented with, whether that be academics, sports/physicality (not just tennis, but physical attractiveness/neatness/cleanliness), and social interactions. it's that last category that i think is the most notable here, as light wants to succeed socially on multiple levels: on a personal scale, he aims to be pleasing and charming and polite to everyone he speaks to, for the sake of manipulating them, sure, but also so that he can extend that victory past personal relationships and into something Greater, into the Image of Light Yagami as the studious, respectable son. it isn't just enough for him to do well, he needs the reputation to go along with it, and the recognition and respect that comes with it.

this is part of the reason why the lind l. tailor moment is such a beautiful part of the writing of death note, as it is a moment where L simultaneously fucks light over massively, pinpointing his location and sending a squad his way in an instant, but also a moment where L gives light exactly what he wants: recognition. L doesn't just establish himself as a rival to take seriously w/ this move, he also reveals kira's existence to the world, that the deaths are the actions of a single person consciously and carefully acting and not just some divine power. he see's light's humanity, the potential cracks in his ego and temper, the overwhelming humanity of his ideals, efficiently using such traits to get kira to reveal himself in the first place.

i tend to take a lot of light's explanations of his actions to ryuk with a grain of salt as i think he is a lot less skilled at planning than he lets on, with his real skill being his in-the-moment acting & reactions, but i'm inclined to believe him when he tells ryuk in ch1 that

as a justification for not writing more specific deaths and therefore hiding his existence for longer. keep in mind, kira is established on the internet long before L enters the picture & the lind l. tailor incident-- light is utilizing the death note to push himself into the spotlight of the entire globe, not just the limited social sphere he grew up with.

(sidenote1: i think you can also definitely read into this on a more internal level of why light would want to be recognized so badly in the first place, considering how busy soichiro yagami most likely is and what their relationship looks like throughout the series. i don't think there's any evidence that he's actively neglectful necessarily, if anything light is described as being pretty spoiled & soichiro cares about him when he's around, but it still feels notable to me how empty his life is pre-death note. you can just Feel the silence as he goes through the motions in the first episode, barely talking to anyone as he ghosts his way through life. he might be succeeding in everything system he approaches technically, but that sure as hell doesn't make him happy. whether or not the death note makes him happy is a whole nother question...)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that light's ideals give him a pretty clear win state, both in terms of what he actually, physically wants in terms of world domination/godhood, but also emotionally when it comes to what truly satisfies him. on a meta level, kira gives light really good motivation-- for the sake of his ideals, for the sake of trying to create his vision of a utopian society, for the sake of being Seen, he needs to keep writing names and out-thinking anyone who tries to stop him. on an internal level, it just starts getting complicated when the one who Sees him best is the one who fully dedicated to stopping him.

speaking of which.

2. L's goals: no real win state?

the lind l. tailor moment is such a fantastic instance in the story because it really works both ways in setting up the rivalry/mutual satisfaction that L and light grant each other. i've already described what light gets out of it, and simultaneous terror and delight that he gets out of it, but this is mostly an L post so let's talk about his side of things.

to my understanding, if what light fundamentally wants is to be Seen, what L fundamentally wants is to Win. ok, yeah, the way he says it is that he "hates losing," but same difference.

the problem with this desire is that in order for L to win or lose, he needs circumstances under which those options are the two main choices in the first place-- he needs a game, someone to test himself against, a challenge(r). when lind l. tailor dies and L proves kira's meager human existence to the world he practically sounds like he's cumming his pants, so i think we can assume kira stands as a particularly alluring challenge for him.

this also explains why L gets so depressed and frustrated with light over the course of the yotsuba arc. not only is light somehow out-foxing him by creating a circumstance under which he can claim not to be kira and actually be correct insofar as his memories are concerned, light has also set the game so that he's stepped off the board entirely, trusting his planning and his own non-death note influenced psyche and denouncing his role as a player entirely. in a way you could read this as light utilizing the one strength he has over L to his advantage: not just his awareness of the supernatural, as people often say, but the fact that kira has goals outside of winning, which can't really be said for L (or at least not without some additional extrapolation/interpretations of his inner psyche).

this is why my main claim here is that L doesn't really have a clear win state. for kira, winning consists of a few clear, distinct things: a utopian world, free from crime, under the reign of kira, where light has the control & worship of a god. for L, winning is a lot less distinct: really just. not letting light do all that. as this other post points out, it really isn't that far off to assume that L's motivations might've shifted from his initial state goal of executing kira, particularly as he gets more attached to light on an individual level, even if it's more as a rival than a true friendship. L is a liar and a troll, yes, but he still has "flashes of sentiment," and it makes a lot of sense to me that so many people see L winning as him stealing light away for himself to be locked away for the rest of their lives.

(sidenote2: i believe it was one of the jdramas (?) that actually does portray L winning but specifically at the cost of his own life, which again fits considering everything i just went through. i don't think L is actively suicidal at the idea of no longer having kira as a rival (well. <3< rival, the children yearn for kismesissitude), but. well, see the final section of this essay where i talk more about boredom for more on that.)

ultimately, light and L kind of suffer for the same reason: living for the rivalry, but also because of that never being truly satisfied no matter which way they come out in the end. the tragic yaoi of it all. i guess one of the conclusions here is that you should read this fic time speaks by aSmallMoon333 for a fascinating evolution of the rivalry past the supposed ending point of canon. anywho.

3. L's death: a failure of writing, or character?

hot take (??? genuinely can't tell if this is hot anymore so ig mean this like, partially sarcastically) but L's death is kind of really fucking unsatisfying, especially if you're witnessing it for the first ever time. i remember distinctly reading the manga back in high school and being really caught off guard by it, despite already having been spoiled about it, and while i pinpointed the cause initially being the fact that light doesn't even bother to write down the damn name himself, i think there's a lot more to this than that.

i've been writing about this idea of L not having a clear win state primarily under the approach of character analysis, looking at L's motivations and emotional desires to see how they inform what him winning would look like, but you could very well read this as being a flaw in the writing surrounding him as well.

L's not really a moral character, primarily because that's one of the main ways he's a foil to light-- where light is painfully, excruciatingly human, naive in his ideals, dedicated to them at all costs, L is a lot more apathetic, perhaps not to the same degree as near sometimes comes across (though he has more to him too, even if the anime doesn't really give enough time for that), but still enough to be generally considered a pretty amoral character. L definitely comes across to me as the type of person that understands the world deeply on an intellectual level, but struggles to meaningfully emotionally connect with it. the way he interacts with people is the clearest example of this, again making him a foil to light in that he gives no shits about how people view him and prefers staying hidden as much as possible, creating detailed psychological profiles of the criminals he follows but still misreading details in-the-moment while speaking to people (the autism. the autism), but i think this could very well extend to how he views morals as well, deciding that kira is evil on a logical level because people dying=bad but not really emotionally connecting with that. like,

yeah yeah they're both JUSTICE!! or whatever, but is this really true? not to get into an in-depth discussion on the nature of ethics & morality in my tumblr essay (though i actually wouldn't mind doing that...), but as the series and especially the yotsuba arc goes on, it becomes more and more clear that L's lack of attachment to people extends to his lack of attachment to traditional ethics. time and time again, L does shady shit for the sake of finding kira, whether that be covering the yagami household in a truly absurd number of cameras, recruiting actual criminals to help with the investigation, or chaining some kid to him 24/7 for weeks on end. this is a large part of the reason behind why i question what winning would actually look like for L-- would he be willing to turn kira in, should he get sufficient evidence to put light through the actual justice system? even if he is willing to give that rivalry up, i have a hard time believing he wouldn't want to confirm the death by doing it himself or something. but if that's the case, then why bother waiting? clearly, he's pretty fucking sure that light is kira, and he basically does figure everything out by the end of the yotsuba arc. so, why? is he waiting to prove it to the task force? is he still waiting for light to incriminate himself? but that seems like an awfully stupid thing to still be waiting for. what does L actually want here?

^^^ this last entire paragraph was basically my motivation for writing this, btw. ultimately, i still don't know if i have a conclusion that i'm really satisfied with, here. perhaps it really is just that light isn't the one to pull the trigger in the end, the nerve of a move that bitchy that kinda instinctively icks me out. or maybe ohba just wrote it bad!! idk. final thoughts-wise.........

one satisfying thing: in a way, light wins because he wins over people (namely, the rest of the task force), which tracks. the only reason why he keeps winning post-L death is because of this win, actually, which keeps him going for years despite the fact that he's doing objectively a dogshit job as L, as near so sweetly points out.

one unsatisfying thing: you could read L as losing because ohba doesn't actually have all that extensive of a view of what a good view of justice would look like, particularly in opposition to kira's view. in a way, L kind of just ends up representing a return to the status quo, where the criminals that kira is so desperate to purge are simply dealt with in the usual way & their crimes are a fact of life. perhaps this is asking too much, the rivalry alone is fun enough to watch without having to get too in-depth asking question about ideal global justice systems and the nature of crime & criminals. i genuinely do think a part of my frustration here is just that light was too much of a bitch to kill his main rival by his own hand, despite holding himself to a more respectable Standard in desperate moments prior (e.g. not taking the eyes deal w/ naomi misora). but it's at least an adjacent question, and maybe establishing more clearly what L's true win would've looked like could have made light's eventual victory just a bit more satisfying, instead of feeling like it comes out of nowhere after his extensive planning miraculously works perfectly according to keikaku. it's almost the marvel problem as is... but i digress.

bonus: boredom

in my recent reread/rewatch of the series, i keep getting struck by how much i really like the beginning of death note, like the beginning beginning of the series and when each main character is initially introduced, especially light and ryuk.

i don't think it's too much of a stretch to equate "boredom" with "depression" in this context. long before L is introduced to the series ryuk is the one being presented as light's equal and opposite-- parallels from opposite worlds, mutually disgusted by their own kind and the miserable state the world around them has devolved to. for L this sentiment is a bit less overt, mostly because again, apathy, but the fact that he spends the majority of his time hyperfixated on the worst parts of humanity speaks of something. perhaps i'll have more feelings about this upon rereading the ending, as that's a bit (a lot) fuzzy in my mind, but it's one of the main points i emotionally resonated with the strongest, a point of connection i keep coming back to.

light really is just a kid, at the core of everything. a teenager that did everything he was supposed to and still couldn't make himself happy with it. that's the real tragedy of death note to me, that for all he did to create a better, more ideal world, he never felt all that happy with any of it. not that he would admit that. but what is light yagami's greatest skill if not his denial...

[pineapple-split]

Arcane S2 and what I Did Not Like:

1. THE MUSIC VIDEOS

2. The set up for dictator!Caitlyn and the failed follow-through. This could have been really interesting. You might even still be able to pull off a Caitvi endgame (I think… with a LOT more development and general care), but I see that as a secondary goal to really exploring how an otherwise well-meaning character can go off the deep end. She gassed Zaun using the system her mother wanted to use to clean their air, in her mother’s name!! Follow up on that!! Why give Caitlyn the Lady Macbeth imagery in the intro if it wasn’t actually going to show up?! Caitlyn did not answer for a single one of her actions, never reckoned with how Piltover oppresses Zaun and her role in it, and never took actions to right these wrongs or help the people of Zaun like she was set up to do in S1.

3. The massive fumbling of Jayce and Viktor’s relationship. I’m sorry Jayvik fans, but this was off the wall ridiculous in every respect. There’s a whole 2 minutes spent on Viktor deciding to leave and we, the audience, are meant to infer that he’s upset that Jayce didn’t destroy the Hexcore and/or is so fundamentally changed that he doesn’t feel the “affection (that) held us together”. Except that’s immediately undercut, because Viktor never expresses this again and repeatedly asks Jayce to work with him! If he felt betrayed enough to leave, why does he want Jayce with him again? If that was just a cover and this new Viktor simply doesn’t care like he used to… again why the focus on Jayce joining him? There’s never a textual reasoning given for either scenario.

Jayce is apparently destroyed by Viktor leaving, but there are no scenes to that effect. In fact Jayce doesn’t comment about their relationship until Act 3, when he swings wildly between “my partner is dead” to “I just want my real partner back” with no bridge between.

There’s no acknowledgement of Viktor’s story to this point, which is that he was dying of an illness brought on by the horrific conditions Zaunites live in, and he wanted to use Hextech to improve life in the undercity. Now he wants a glorious evolution for *reasons* that he doesn’t express out loud until Act 3. We the audience have to infer that he thinks he’s helping people, but he’s also speaking and acting so unlike Viktor that it makes us question who’s really in the pilot’s seat. And of course Jayce then undergoes the worst bit of character assassination I’ve seen in a long time and spouts some bullshit about how Viktor was always perfect the way he was (dying, brought on by Piltover’s literal poisoning of Zaun), that he should have accepted his “imperfections” (the illness that was killing him and harming his body). This is after trying to kill him mind you (was the plan to destroy him or try to reason him away from evolving everyone, bc we kept ping-ponging between the two). Also after Jayce’s entire motivation in the back half of S1 was saving Viktor’s life. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

This is not a plot line you can squash into the margins of 9 episodes. If you want to get to this endpoint, you need at least an episode of Viktor coming to terms with being alive after the explosion before he leaves. You need to spend time with Jayce grieving and/or trying to find Viktor before he goes to the Hexcore. Jayce probably needs a full episode dedicated to his alt timeline adventure, AND THEN we need to see him wrestling with what he’s done after he shoots Viktor. If his relationship with Mel breaks down (😭) we need to see it. (And if not, there needs to be some goodbye or closure between them ffs). If Jayce is first “destroy Viktor” then ends up at “I want my partner back”, show us that journey! Jayce needs to have some emotional struggle with all this!

Through all this, if we’re to believe it’s still Viktor in there somewhere and not the Arcane talking through his re-animated body, we need more scenes explaining what Viktor wants as well, and how his actions may/may not be achieving this. If he’s angry at Jayce, why? If he’s not, why did he leave? Is Sky a manifestation of his guilt, the Arcane manipulating him, actually her, or some combination of the three? How does he feel about the developments between Piltover and Zaun? Explore these things!

4. Speaking of Piltover and Zaun, what in the fresh hell. I was afraid they would take this route (the oppression doesn’t matter, praise the cops, the Zaunites will be thrown scraps and they should be grateful for it, etc etc etc) but goddamn. I don’t even have the energy to expend the words expressing how fucked up this is, in today’s climate. if you don’t have the guts to address class conflict like this then maybe don’t even bring it up??? Fuck.

5. Ekko was set up to be a true advocate for Zaun in S1. Of the Zaunites in S1 Act 2 and onward, he alone expressed a willingness to take care of people, not just defeat his enemies. He’s shown to be wise beyond his years, empathetic, tough as nails when he needs to be - in short, a wonderful leader. Then they sent him off to a parallel universe to get time warp powers so he could end the show alone and depressed????? He had all of half of an episode for his trauma to be addressed and establish some connection with Jinx, and then it became very clear they only did that to manufacture angst. Again - if you want to get to this end point, you have to actually show us the character journey to get there. Why was he talking about forgetting to build a better future, when he literally never did????? He established the Firelights and the community oasis before hitting 20. He pulled back from killing Jinx on the bridge. He saw an outcast from Piltover and invited them to see his work. And it’s the tree dying that drives him to the Hexcore. HE LITERALLY NEVER LOST THAT FOCUS, so why did he apparently need alt!Powder to re-teach him??? I’m going insane.

6. We really should have seen Jinx emerge as a leader of the Zaunite uprising (and this is a whole season arc, let’s be clear). We also needed a LOT more push and pull between Vi and Jinx before they reconciled. If Isha was going to be important to Jinx, we needed more time with the two of them.

I actually have no problem with Warwick/Vander in Act 2, but I think it should only have come after an actual Zaunite revolt and after Jinx and Vi both had gone through some shit opposing each other. In short, it should not be been resolved with a single hair-pulling fight and then Warwick busting in. In fact, Jinx and Vi still should have been struggling to find footing all the way up to the point where Jayce shoots Viktor, imo. There should have been real consequences to Vi joining the enforcers besides Jinx snapping at her.

At the end of the day, this family was always the heart of the show and that should have been front and center throughout. The ideas and themes they introduced should have resonated through the B plots like they did in S1 before everyone came together in the finale.

7. I also don’t mind the flashbacks with younger Vander and Silco, but if they were going to do that they needed to spend much more time on it. Show the events that let to Vander trying to kill his brother, and use it to parallel the struggle between Vi and Jinx. Show it as a struggle between opposing ideologies as much as between siblings. OR, if you’re not willing to do that legwork simply don’t go down this route at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️

8. I love Ambessa but they could have cut her and the Noxians completely and lost nothing. Sorry, but it has to be said.

9. Which leads me to Mel. I actually loved about 90% of Mel’s story, BUT: she needed resolution with Jayce one way or the other (as he was the major emotional relationship she had in S1), if they were going to go the mage route we needed to see her journey of coming into her power, AND we needed her to NOT BECOME THE NEW NOXIAN COMMANDER. What the fuck!? Piltover is her city, the home she has put her blood and sweat into, the home she came to love and ultimately chose! She rejected the life of a military leader, why make her one now?? Because she can wield magic??? Because the only thing anyone can apparently imagine with that is being a battle mage???? NO.

I would also have loved a more coherent explanation of what the hell the Black Rose is, what they want, etc, but again - you could cut them completely and lose nothing. Mel’s abilities could just as easily be a result of the Arcane “waking up”.

—-

Anyway. Moral of the story is you need reasons and buildup for characters to do things, instead of just bouncing them from plot point to plot point. I really thought the team behind Arcane understood this, but evidently not. Even the most beautiful animation in the world doesn’t save you if there’s no substance backing it up.

The real kicker is I still think S1 of Arcane is damn near perfect. Time will tell if I’ll be able to go back and watch it without S2 affecting my enjoyment.

[carlos-in-glasses]

2023 Writing Round Up

Thank you for the tag @heartstringsduet @reasonandfaithinharmony @jesuisici33 @chicgeekgirl89 @thisbuildinghasfeelings @theghostofashton @orchidscript @welcometololaland @ladytessa74 @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @alrightbuckaroo

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

15 fics this year! I have loved writing and sharing every one of them. Thank you to everyone who has read or will at some point. Work is a lot busier these days, so I don’t anticipate writing the same volume in 2024…but we shall see! I just want whatever I share to be good quality, and it’s my New Year’s resolution to keep improving. I love Tarlos. I love writing Tarlos fic. I love this fandom.

January

The Ruins of Wonderland – a reimagining of TK and Carlos getting back together after their breakup. I posted this on New Year’s Day, resolving to start 2023 off on the right fanfic foot.

Chasers – A coda for 3x13. TK talks to Cooper about his past, while Carlos goes for a swim and thinks about his own. When Carlos gets home, he and TK have an important chat. The rection to this fic spurred me on to continue writing in the flashback/vignette/timeline format.

February

Man to Man – A coda for 2x11 and 2x12, which also looks at Carlos coming out to his parents and where he is now with it all.

March

Afterglow of a Supernova – When fiancés TK and Carlos help Carlos’ high school crush and his wife during a call, they end up having a dinner with them that leads to jealousy in an unexpected way. The feedback I’ve had on this fic sent me to the moon on rainbows.

April

The Heart Behind the Shield – My first chaptered fic! I'd been wanting to write a 2x08 coda, but it was 4x04 that made it possible. This combines events from both episodes where there’s duality, and was an absolute blast to write and post.

The Light of Our Life – Listen, I wrote this during an extended lunch break and posted it the same day. For somehow it’s my fifth most kudos’d fic of the year…Thank you!!! We were all deep in our Lou II feelings at this time. Never forget.

Fire Island – TK and Carlos travel to Fire Island, where an older gay couple talks to them about their experience of the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York. This fic by far had the most emotional impact on me while writing it, and based on feedback it seems to be the same for readers(?) People have shared personal stories and memories with me since I posted this, and I just want to say I’m truly grateful for the response, given I wrote it in January but didn’t feel brave enough to post it for a few months.

May

With Infinity Folded Into It – Written for the @tarlosweeklyprompts Countdown to the Wedding event (prompt was: Love). After TK proposes, Carlos remembers the first time they said “I love you.” It’s fluff, it’s smut, it’s kinda angsty because Carlos is trying to bake and baking is stressful.

The Center of the Maze – Another written for Tarlos Weekly Prompts Countdown to the Wedding. (Prompt: "I Never Thought I Would Get This Day".) I thought this was going to be a 2k one-shot; it turned into 20k split into 4 chapters… Seven times they thought they would never get married, and one time when they actually did. I was super inspired and happy with the writing in this one.

June into July

When Soulmates Swim – The closest I’ll ever come to writing a sports AU (….or is it?👀…) Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I really pushed myself with smut and humour in this fic and the feedback I’ve had has been incredible. One of the most enjoyable writing experiences I’ve ever had, this fic holds a special place in heart.

Release The Hand to Relax the Animal – TK and Carlos explore the world of tantric massage in their own way. Written because Rafael Silva has madly attractive hands, and @heartstringsduet and I thought we should celebrate. You can read Michelle’s hands fic, Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life, Too, here. It is BEAUTIFUL.

(Nothing in August)

September

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines – A 3x08 coda, which also gets into TK and Carlos’ childhood memories of 9/11, and the way that event went on to impact their lives (to the point where it set them on the path to meeting each other). It recieved the most amazing comments, with people sharing their memories of 9/11, so like Fire Island this fic feels deeper to me in a social way.

October

Suddenly in the Silence – I’d ‘joked’ about the show giving us Ghost Gabriel in season 5, but a conversation with thisbuildinghasfeelings led me to explore that concept myself. In this fic, it’s up to the reader to decide whether they think the spirit of Gabriel is around, which made writing it challenging but a lot of fun. It’s so interesting to see what side people fall on!

November

Where All This Love Comes From – This is my Tarlos novel at ~90k words, due to finish posting in February. I began writing it in March, when a hefty amount of plot relied on Gabriel being alive after season 4. Substantial rewrites happened after May, which was pretty gutting at the time, but ultimately I think this has ended up being the best thing I’ve written so far in my life.

December

There is a smutty one-shot coming with a scream very soon…And I hope you like it!

I'm not sure who has already done this - tagging with no pressure if you want to share/haven't already - and open tag!

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @goodways @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @wandering-night19 @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @rmd-writes @rosedavid @chaotictarlos @lightningboltreader @taralaurel @three-drink-amy @redshirt2 @noxsoulmate @sanjuwrites @bonheur-cafe @liminalmemories21

❤️🩷🧡💛❤️🩷🧡💛

[cartoonyfangirl]

Okay! After watching Once Upon A Studio the 100th time, I'm just gonna say it!

Disney! CAN WE PLEASE HAVE THIS SHORT BE A SHOW OR A SHORT SERIES!

Like you have all of these characters both 3D and 2D, and I know darn well that you guys know that this short is a huge success, jump on that train!

You know what! I'm just gonna put down how this show would be, and my exceptions and nots

(Exception 1 - The only other characters that would appear outside of WDAS would be characters from DisneyToon Studios, so like characters from the sequels, A Goofy Movie, Ducktales! Treasure of the lost lamp, and the Tinkerbell characters. I still would not include Pixar, Marvel, Muppets, Star Wars, and etc, that would be more if Disney wants to do a full on House Of Mouse sequel, but if it's a spiritual successor, then this would be at the studio

(Exception 2 - However, some characters from those said IP's can be mentioned as like a cameo or name mention, just because they don't appear, doesn't mean they can't be mentioned)

Okay, now for how the show/short series plays out

(The show/short series would take place at the Walt Disney Animation Studio in Burbank, since I think that's where the short took place.)

(When everyone leaves, that's when the characters come out, and thus, whatever plot takes place, that's when the episode/short begins)

(Characters can appear on the sidelines, making sure that it adds character and life into this, rather it be them just talking and walking, grabbing some food, or just causing mischief)

Now for some ideas for episodes

(A New Rabbit - Oswald notices that he is the odd one out in the huge group, so with the help of Mickey and his pals, they try to give the Lucky Rabbit a makeover only both Walt and the fans would love. This would be the Epic Mickey design that we all love, and Frank Welker would return to voice the rabbit once more!)

(A Royal Night Out - Tiana plans a huge night for all of the Disney Princesses and Princes, and Asha feels worried that she might stick out in the group, since she is the newest princess in the studio lot. But over the course of the short/episode, we not only see her get comfortable around the princesses and princes (They would be such gentlemen to her), but also stuff that maybe the voice performers can ad-lib in, to make them feel more natural!)

(Father/Son Meeting - Goofy realizes how many Disney parents and children have either a father/son and or father/daughter dynamics, and so he plans out a huge evening where the pairs would get to know each other, and discuss the situations they were put through, Max would make his first appearance in nearly 20 years in this, helping his father, and also getting to know the rest of the other kids that also go through what Max dealt with in his films)

(These ideas are from @shellyswirlz I was given permission to share and give some disney touches to these!

(Puppy-Sitting) - Kristoff, Ryder, and Honeymaren are asked upon by Roger and Anita if they could take care of the puppies while they take Pongo and Perdita on their evening walk, to which the three say yes to (Because I feel like Kristoff would be a dog person for sure!) Cruella sees this as her opportunity to try and get the dogs again, but this time from different people. Over the course of the episode/short, the puppies get into some trouble, from either running around the animation building, to hiding in some of the shelves. This causes problems for both Kristoff, Ryder, Honeymaren, and even Cruella, who misses her chance every time. In the end, it's Anna, Elsa, and even Olaf who would help wrangle the puppies back together again, and just in time before Roger and Anita get back. Cruella would be upset that she didn't manage to snag any of the puppies, but her anger would instantly disappear when she sees the other animals, and soon begins hatching plans for that

(Tinkering About) - Some of the Disney kids are drawing some of their favorite characters from their favorite shows and films, and Tinker Bell watches from afar, thinking of a fun, yet mischievous plan. Once the children leave to play outside, Tinker Bell uses her magic to make the drawings come to life, and soon, they begin to cause mischief around the building and even the studio. For the doodles, this would be the only time characters outside of WDAS would make their cameo appearances (Such as Sulley, Kermit and Gonzo, Grogu, and etc). Mickey and Oswald notice the weird drawing creations, and soon begin to place them back into the paper they came from. They soon figure out that Tinker Bell is behind the tinkering, and soon, Peter Pan manages to stop her before she could make anything else pop out. She realizes her mistakes, and apologizes, Peter Pan, being the only one that can understand her, accepts it, but he tells her not to do it again, or else she wouldn't be allowed to be with him.

(A Caballero Reunion!) - Donald is overjoyed once more to see his pals Jose and Panchito again! Jose comes up with the idea of performing for the whole group, like they did back in the beginning when they first performed. Donald and Panchito agree, and soon throughout the episode, we see them getting ready, reminiscing on the days they first interacted, and even recalling some of their favorite moments from their film. Towards the end, they would have a huge performance, but soon realize that some of their instruments have become worn out from years of not being used. But soon some of the other Disney characters would join in to help, and soon, the Three Caballeros would sing their iconic song, alongside the rest of the Disney crew!

Those are what I have so far, but please, if anyone has any ideas/scenarios/and HC's for this, either tag this post, repost and add your share, and or comment down below!

(Cricket In A Lamp) - Jiminy Cricket rushes to Pinocchio's side, once again after accidentally oversleeping once more, but just as he's about to get to his side, he falls into Genie's lamp. Pinocchio is beside Aladdin, learning about what he, Jasmine, and the others went through in their film, and tells him that he's lucky to have The Genie by his side. The Genie soon appears, and decides to get some rest, but when he tries to get into his lamp, he isn't able to. Aladdin thinks this is a joke, but soon, they hear Jiminy's voice coming from the lamp! The three soon try to figure out how to get him out, considering it's a magic lamp, and messing with it can cause trouble. After a few different tactics and even some characters making their honorary cameos, it seems like it's hopeless, until some of the smaller characters decide to help out, and ask if they can be lowered in, so they can grab Jiminy out (I'm thinking it might be Bernard, Bianca, and the rest of the other small Disney characters). After some time, they managed to get Jiminy out, and of course Pinocchio was overjoyed to see him safe and sound. Genie apologizes for the lamp trouble, to which Jiminy cuts in, saying he fell in on accident, and that he should be more careful in where he's running to.

(I'm Late! I'm Late! For A Very Important Dinner Party!) - Mickey and Minnie decide to plan a big dinner party for the newcomer Asha, and soon get the help from some of the Disney Characters to deliver the invitations to the party. Once night falls, everyone arrives on time, except for one! The White Rabbit! He notices that the time on his watch is all wrong, and he quickly hurries to the dinner party. This episode would mostly be shenanigans and even ad-libbed stuff from characters old and new, and of course The White Rabbit dealing with his troubles as well! In the end, he makes it towards the end of the party, and enjoys the last few minutes with those that care about him

(This Is Dedicated To The Toon I Love!) - For the first time in nearly 25 years, Sylvia makes her return appearance in this episode/short. Goofy and Horace write love letters to Sylvia and Clarabelle. But when Horace accidentally leaves his name out of his letter, Clarabelle thinks that it's from Horace, wanting to see if they can rekindle their relationship. At first she is ecstatic, but then realizes that he couldn't possibly be in love with someone like her, and soon, she dismisses the first idea, and thinks who would have a crush on her. Shenanigans would pursue, with her going around the studio lot, basically seeing who is catching her eye. After hours on end, Clarabelle breaks down, seeing that there wasn't any signs that someone loved her on the lot, and she would never find out who wrote her the letter, Horace, Goofy, and Sylvia find her, and Horace bashfully admits that he wrote the letter to her, but he forgot to place his name down. Clarabelle becomes overjoyed, and the two share a kiss. Goofy is happy to see his long-time friends get together once more, and decides to have a double date with him and Sylvia, and Clarabelle and Horace!

@rikareena @silliesbillies @imaginationinstitutes

[catcherwrites]

TDP S7E1 Rewatch (feat. my commentary)

Astrid and Kosmo were great in S6 so it was cool to see them again in S7

I love how Astrid’s wings fluffed out when she got emotional

“They will fall hard” was an interesting line that didn’t end up going quite where I thought it would, but maybe that’s an Arc 3 thing

Hi Ethariiii love the new look <3

Runaan’s lotus was alone in the pool, which means they removed Rayla’s lotus after S3E3. When do we think they did that? Did they destroy it or does Ethari keep her flower somewhere special as a reminder?

Is it just me or is Runaan’s animation a little stilted in this scene? It clashes at times with his VA’s performance (Allen’s also legit just an NPC here)

I liked Rayla helping Callum with his staff, it was a cute interaction overall

The way Aaravos defined the In Between made me think Leola was trapped there and he was looking to find a way to free her

“It’s time to grieve” Terry doing the forehead touch was so sweet

Oh boy time for my favourite sequence of the episode

Owww Jack and Jesse did so wonderfully it breaks my heart every time I see it

“Babe” TERRY

Sorvus reunion my beloved <3

Broyals reunion my beloved </3

“I never promised” Astrid is a queen I will not hear anything else of it

Oooo the Dutch tilt on Ezran saying “King of ashes?” to represent his turmoil

Ezran always looked so awkward on his throne, I choose to think it’s because he hasn’t grown into his title yet. Personal headcanon is that he’ll be much more comfortable sitting on his throne in Arc 3

Aaravos is so fruity I love it

And so is Corvus I love how casual he’s gotten with everyone since joining the Crownguard

“Such a kind young man” saying that like Corvus didn’t also help Aara-faux-s

WHAT WAS THE APPLE FORRRR

Zym snapping at Aegis was cute

Soren not having a sleeping bag says a lot about him as a character I think

Also is this the first Soren/Rayla hug? I think it might be!

I expected a bigger reaction between Soren and Runaan considering they fought (a gloves off, no holding back, trying to kill each other kind of fight)

Ezran’s voice cracking on “this is all your fault!” ughhh. Sasha did amazingly in this scene

“Take a breath” callback to Ezran trying to talk down Rex Igneous????

The painted sky during the Star Scraper scene is gorgeous

“I’m going to Katolis” but then… she doesn’t? She goes to the Silvergrove? Idk just a scripting mistake I assume. Either Astrid took so long finding them because she stopped in Katolis first and then tracked Rayllum down or Kosmo told her “nah you’ll find them in the Silvergrove” offscreen

Overall thoughts:

This episode was pretty good for a season premiere, a solid 8/10 in my opinion. The highlights were definitely in the character dynamics and everyone playing off each other. I do think that a rewatch opens the season up to some holes/flaws in the larger story that could’ve been fixed if this episode had been cleaner. The animation was also a little wonky at times too, even if the backgrounds were pretty.

[lanalaynetalks]

I skipped the Daphne arc. I’m sorry I can’t do it. Like I don’t understand how people can look at that arc and the Zodiac arc and say that the Zodiac arc is the worst filler arc. But yay Edolas! This is an arc I have grown to like. When I first watched it I had the same feeling about it as Oracion Seis Arc. Now I like it even if it hurt my head a little bit. This is just exposing me as an idiot I think. I’m just a girl!

1. The filler episode before the Edolas arc are some of my favs! I like most of the filler episodes in the series. I do think these episodes are important because we are reminded of everyone’s personalities before Edolas where they are like the opposite.

2. I’m going to try my best to reframe from talking about Lisanna and how her character was useless after she came back. Let me be clear I am not Lisanna hater. I love her, I just believe she was so underutilized in the series and the most pointless revival of the whole series. This is will be a longer post but I love her and she deserves better.

3. “We are on a cusp of a new era” Makarov said this in the episode Guildarts came back. Now this is likely hinting that he is wanting Guildarts to become master, but I see it as something else. I personally see the 7 year time skip as a soft reset for the show. So I think it was for shadowing that. It could also be hinting at Earthland learning about Edolas.

4. My favorite part of this whole arc is Gajeel wanting a cat. I love it. It humanizes him so much!

5. I will say I don’t really like the first part of the Edolas arc and I think it starts really slow

6. Edolas Fairy Tail 🥰

7. It annoys me that they don’t just tell Edolas Fairy Tail that they are from Earthland

8. Lisanna and Nastu’s reuniting is underwhelming

9. Why is Edolas Wendy just older???

10. I don’t understand why Edolas Gajeel is a journalist but I love him sm. I need to see him and Edolas Levy together. Because we all know they are soulmates in every universe. Plus both Gajeels together is 10/10

11. I also think it’s goofy that Edolas Nastu is known for driving a car. It’s the same goofy as Cancer Vs Gray dance battle. No I’m not explaining further.

12. Lucy and Nastu are already together in every universe besides ours.

13. We don’t talk enough about how the huge ass lacrima in the middle of the city was just Erza and Gray… we need to talk about this more.

14. Also who was the Master of Edolas Fairy Tail? Was it Edolas Laxus???? You know what where is the Edolas Thunder Legion??? If Edolas Makarov is the king what about Edolas Ivan and Laxus??? Are they princes??? If Mystgon is his son shouldn’t he actually be Ivan’s counterpart? This confuses me the most about Edolas… where are the rest of the Dreyar family? I guess if Wendy is just older they may of been born to different people I guess. I’m just going to believe that Edolas Laxus was master and died. WHERE IS EDOLAS LAXUS!

15. Maybe I am being too crazy because why is Edolas Ichiya a cat…

16. It’s honestly pretty dark to think that the only reason Carla and Happy cared for Wendy and Nastu is because the Exceeds fucked with their minds.

17. I love Happy’s mom and dad so much. Them being rebellious makes so much sense. I just love them. Grumpy X Sunshine at its peak

18. I am going to fan girl over panther lily! I love him! He is my second favorite cat. Because Frocsch does exist! I love them so much. Like I cry every time something bad happens to them!

19. ROCK CITY BOY IS ON OF TH BEST OPENINGS! I think it’s in my top 5.

20. While the arc started slowly, the climax is so good. The rest is well paced.

21. So is the giant robot dragon supposed to be Edolas’s fairy heart? This is likely a dumb theory.

22. Rip Mystogan… he’s not dead just we don’t see him again until 100 year quest. Seriously though Mystogan has a special place in my heart for being my first anime crush…. Then I saw Laxus and I was like Mystogan who?

23. It took me so many years to realize this, but Lactor’s and Frosch’s parents live in earthland… like their parents were sucked out of Edolas. They are both the same age as Carla and Happy when they came back from the 7 year time skip…. I just realized this and I feel dumb. THEY WERE BORN DURING THE TIME SKIP! I don’t know why my brain never realized this!

24. And that’s the last time we see the exceeds…

25. GAJEEL AND LILY! The best of friends!

26. Why were Edolas Mira and Elfman so chill about Lisanna not being there Lisanna? Why did Mira and Elfman not question why Lisanna disappeared and there was no body after her death?

27. Not gonna lie Lisanna reuniting with Mira and Elfman makes me cry every time.

28. I do wish we got some filler episodes about Edolas, or some updates on how they are doing.

29. I think the funniest part about the series before the 7 year time skip is the fact that so many of the villains main thing is reviving Zeref, but turns out he was was chilling on Tenrou Island. Like the man was spending time with his situationship.

I wanted to put this at the end of this one, but I will start putting this at the end of the rest. I would like to let the people know who read this that I am actually doing my rewatch while working on my school work. I am working on mostly my capstone while watching. I am likely going to miss some stuff/forget to write it down. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time so I am doing in now during this rewatch. Sorry if I miss anything and feel free to share your opinions!

[ygodmyy20]

Okay I finally am getting around to this post! It's the 'Fuck how can mob psycho help me in so many ways god damnit I hate and love this show' post!

Shigeo joining the body improvement club, and everything about this part of his story is so personal to me. I just have to talk about it.

So as we all know at the start of the story, Shigeo joins the body improvement club to impress Tsubomi. Thats it. Thats the goal. He also joins because he wants to get stronger and not rely on his psychic powers but really like...the main reason is to impress her.

And this isn't new. A character wanting to get fit, lose weight, change some physical part of themselves for a crush is SO common in stories that you barely notice it.

But what I love, what I ADORE is how this progresses and changes.

This gif from an amazing AMV by @thekagepro24 and it just UGH hits me so hard it is so perfect!!! I could watch this 5 second gif over and over and over again

I just am. I just am dying while running, I just am making progress, I just am enjoying this because I really like it.

This puts everything I feel into visuals (it's so gooooood watch the AMV!!! DO IIIIIIT)

So many times society tells us to change something about ourselves, or we tell ourselves to change for the appeal of others.

Lose weight so people think you're pretty.

Get fit so you can get into clothes that make you look hot.

Get swol to make a person think you're attractive.

You are the one and only you, this is your one and only body. So why are you working out, why do you WANT to get "swol" who are you trying to impress. Is it for yourself? A crush? Society?

I have battled with the above for so long. I come from an athletic background, and did a lot of sports growing up, but I have never been small. I have battled with weight my whole life and had my own shitty bouts with ED.

I have been in therapy, I have read books, I have watched videos, I've been in and out of PT for nearly 5 years because of a lower back and hip pain that NEVER went away.

I never figured out WHY i wanted to exercise. It just always was "To lose weight" because I couldn't get that goal out of my head for years and years and years.

But then I watched mob psycho 100.

And I started a new type of physical therapy.

And was it mp100 or was it the therapy finally working, who can say which did it—probably both—but one day I thought...

....maybe I should just go for a run...for 5-10 mins. Just to see how it feels. It went against all parts of my athlete brain (because 10 mins is too short to see "gains"....which is dumb but whatever)

I thought of Shigeo and how he basically passed out every time he ran for like 2 mins, but he got better. He had to start from 0, well...kinda like negative 5 really. But then he was doing so much not even a few months in!

35 pushups is so hard!!! You go my boi.

Shigeo started off doing it all for Tsubomi, for others, and even if he really wanted to do it to improve himself I think it was a secondary goal initially. Main goal was to impress someone. Secondary was to get stronger.

But then the marathon happened. And those goals SWITCHED! DURING THE RACE! just....man it hit me. It hit me hard. THAT WHOLE EPISODE IS JUST A LOT FOR ME GOD DAMN

He ran for her initially but he continued running for himself. He continued working at it because he wanted to and in the end, after everything, after confession arc, after all that

This scene!!! makes me cry happy tears!! look at how happy he is UGH IT JUST IS SO UGGGHHHHHHH

Anyway if you made it this far, know that everyones journey through their body improvement, mental improvement, emotional improvement is different. We all have to tackle it in the way that works for us.

It took me nearly 10 years to start again because of this beautiful anime connecting the right dots in my brain.

Every journey is different, but just keep fighting on and you'll figure it out!

[prismatoxic]

So like,why do you ship Laios and Chillchuck? This isn't anon hate it's just a ship i never really thought about and now I'm curios and I like hearing people rant about their blorbos

for many reasons! but let's start at the beginning, shall we?

i didn't know dungeon meshi existed until early february. i'd seen some media for it in the past, but didn't know any of it was related nor was i interested enough to dig further.

the very first fanart i ever saw for dungeon meshi was this one (it was on a different site though):

i didn't know who the characters were, but the dynamic spoke to me. it reminded me of two of my partner's OCs that we've been shipping together for nearly ten years: a big buff blonde guy who loves animals and seems stupid but is just socially stunted, and a short aggressive rogue with reddish hair and brown eyes who doesn't take other people's shit and is damn good at what he does. yes, it's that specific. these are them:

even without that foundation to work on, though, chilaios interested me. i love size differences and i love ships between nice guys and angry guys. that said, i mostly put it out of mind after nick's first fanart, but it posted some more not too long later which got me thinking about it again...

and by then more people were talking about dunmeshi because the anime was getting underway. i spotted chilchuck and laios in posts about the series and realized that was where they were from, and that there was an anime, as well as a manga. that was all i knew, but their dynamic was intriguing me more and more, so i told my partner about it and said chilchuck and laios reminded me of harry and jeffrey and showed him some of the fanart. neither of us tend to start new media very often (i'm significantly worse about it, it takes a lot to get me to try), but eventually i looked into the series and found that the anime was brand new (5 episodes at the time) and the manga was completed. both of those facts were ideal for trying to get into it.

we didn't start watching until the week episode 9 came out, not for lack of interest but because there just wasn't really any incentive to get a move on. by then we'd both recognized that we'd be insane about chilchuck in particular, because we love his character type and he's very, very cute. and we were right! you could practically hear the canned audience applause when he showed up onscreen the first time.

we didn't watch all 8 episodes in one sitting, but we did watch several of them, and i think it was clear to us both that chilchuck and laios absolutely had a fun dynamic. eventually we'd go on to read the entire manga, and we're fully caught up on the anime, watching the new episodes every thursday.

the basic thing i like about their sort of setup is the way laios respects chilchuck and never doubts their relationship, while chilchuck is frequently aggressive and critical but staunchly sticks around and keeps helping anyway. it says a lot about them as friends: laios isn't worried that chilchuck actually hates him, and chilchuck's actions speak louder than his words, always staying and doing the best he can even if he complains. he wants what's best for laios, even if he never says it, and laios trusts him completely.

i love that chilchuck cares even if he pretends he doesn't, and i love that laios has utmost faith in him. i love the little intricacies of their individual backstories and the ways they compare and contrast. i love the way their personalities collide, independent of their existing relationship (as in, i'd ship them even if they interacted less). i love their size difference. i love them individually, as really well-written and fascinating characters, and i love thinking of new ways to pair them together and seeing what everyone else does with them. i love chilaios!!!! it makes me very happy and they are a perfect ship for me.

look at that. goddamn. the way the shot lingers. the way laios grips his hand. 10/10 effervescent would ship again

[devilsrecreation]

New episode idea

An episode like that of TAWOG’s “The Choices” where Kiburi reflects on the events of Season 2 after a particularly chaotic day. While talking with Hukumu, he wonders what things might have been like if he hadn’t tried to take Simba down

-What if he kept his mouth shut?: He’d definitely still be in the Pridelands, that’s for sure. The only time Kiburi would actually talk is the first few minutes he and the rest woke up, but if he didn’t say or do anything else after? I guess some of the other crocodiles would be complaining anyway, albeit amongst themselves and even then they’d be content with the watering hole everyone gets. It’d be good for everyone else with Scar not getting to have crocs on his team, BUT what about Kiburi? It’s just him bottling up all his emotions and that would cause his mental health to go down the drain…so much so, he starts pushing everyone away and maybe make him insane? He doesn’t want to know

“Yeah, I’d like to keep my sanity”

-What if he succeeded in killing Simba?: Things honestly go GREAT for him at first: Makuu’s banished from the float and probably the Pridelands as well, he’s Scar’s best warrior, crocs are ruling the land, things are finally going his way. As the days pass, he soon realizes that his sister’s actually pretty miserable cuz all she sees is her home in disarray and the love of her life pretty much gone (Makuu isn’t dead, but because he lost all his moxie he might as well be). Not to mention Scar would most likely throw him under the bus and there would be nobody to help due to lack of the Lion Guard, so it’s a scenario of “I won, but at what cost?”

“Maybe it’s better if I didn’t win that one…”

-What if Piga were still alive?: “There’s no way dad would let me do something like that no matter how old I am…”

-What if his friends never agreed to help him?: Tamka, Nduli, and Neema would do anything for him, but if that wasn’t the case…then he’d go rogue. Maybe he’d try to take Simba down himself, only to be stopped by the guard and banished. Then he’d truly be all alone working with animals who don’t care about him…not like his loved ones did-

“Well now everyone’s miserable..”

-What if Ucheshi joined him?: Everything’s the same, but Ucheshi participates. They’d be a killer evil sibling duo, he’ll give it that much. Hell, with Ucheshi’s brain and Kiburi’s brawn, they’d be the most OP in Scar’s army. They’d win every battle, slowly take over the Pridelands…then Ucheshi would decide this isn’t enough. She wants MORE chaos, MORE fighting, MORE animals running away from her, she just wants to go APESHIT and….wait, why does she have a murderous look in her eye? Okay maybe this has gone too far-

“*shivers* Thank the kings Ucheshi isn’t evil”

-What if he left willingly?/What if Ushari (and Scar) never proposed the idea in the first place?: Ig this is the best outcome. He’d still join Scar’s army, he’d just skip the whole “trying to assassinate Simba” thing, instead meeting Ushari while in the Outlands and meets Scar then. Even if it was a legit mashindano, he’d still be allowed to stay when he loses cuz you only get exiled from the float so TECHNICALLY he’s still allowed in the Pridelands either way (and ofc his friends go wițh him too so it works out)

But after all that thinking, Kiburi remembers all the good times he has in his new home: befriending his fellow Outlanders, the lessons he’s learned by making mistakes, how he’s a parent now, how he got to meet the love of his life, etc. He reflects on all of it and ends up being like “you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing” :)

[medea10]

My Review of Cherry Magic

(short for: Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!)

Note from the reviewer: Hi everyone! Sorry it's been several months since I last posted a review. It has been a hard and stressful time for me. I've had to endure a surgery, two infections, my younger cat having a heart attack and dying, a family member have her cancer come back, and this one condition of mine where I had symptoms plague me for an entire month. As you can see, I had no interest in writing reviews. Now that a lot of this turbulence has passed, I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. With all of that unpleasantness out of the way, let's get at it.

-----

When looking at this title, your first thought is this is an Isekai, a BL, and has a run-time of 5 minutes per episode.

As it turns out, this is a work-place comedy and has a normal running time of 22+ minutes. But it’s still a BL. That’s good enough for me!

Kiyoshi Adachi is 30 years old and still a virgin. Apparently, Adachi has acquired some weird power upon turning 30. Whenever he touches someone, he can hear the thoughts in their head. Adachi actually finds this power lame and also annoying in cramped places like crowded trains. One morning at his job, he accidentally brushed up against the handsome and charismatic employee, Yuuichi Kurosawa. Turns out, Kurosawa has a crush on Adachi.

Despite having some perverted thoughts about Adachi, Kurosawa really doesn’t act upon them. Yes, he invites Adachi over and yes, it’s a little odd that he has an extra pair of pajamas that are his exact size. But at least Kurosawa doesn’t do things to his crush that would chase him away. As for Adachi, this must be a big shock. But is he seeing this workmate in a new light? Could you even say that he may like Kurosawa?

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: The sucky thing about BL animes is that the licensing company usually never dubs it. I know there are dubbed ones out there, but it sometimes feels like a why even bother looking. And I was ready to write this off as yet another BL anime that’s to be left alone. Crunchyroll released an English dub to this several months after the anime’s premier. When it comes to the sub, I’m glad I’m getting the opportunity to hear some of these men again. I only know the two main cast members for one big recent role and almost nothing else. So, this always helps me. Plus, this cast also has Makoto Furukawa and Ami Koshimizu. You cannot go wrong here!

Yes, there’s an actual female in the show. She was seen as a possible rival of love, but it just turns out she’s just a big shipper of Adachi and Kurosawa. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Adachi is played by Chiaki Kobayashi (known for Stark on Frieren and Yuu on Sing Yesterday for Me)

*Kurosawa is played by Ryouta Suzuki (Ishigami on Kaguya-sama and Ryouhei on Tsurune)

ENGLISH CAST: *Adachi is played by Daman Mills (known for Amethio on Pokemon Horizons, Monaka on DB Super, Yakov on Yuri on Ice, Osamu on Haikyuu, Shin on Misfit of Demon Academy, and Ginshi on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

*Kurosawa is played by Dio Garner

SHIPPING: I have to wonder about Adachi for a moment. I know it’s clear that he’s a 30-year-old virgin. But not every relationship is built around sex. My question is, has Adachi ever been in a romantic relationship prior to meeting Kurosawa? By the looks of it, he really didn’t show much interest in hanging around other people. Even a small group of coworkers make him a little tense. It might have to do with this recent power that he has. There was also a flashback of something that happened to Adachi. It didn’t end well obviously. But I digress.

Time to open up a bag of cheesy popcorn and talk about these two boys.

Kurosawa’s mind is essentially an open book for Adachi. He knows Kurosawa has a burning passion for him. But Kurosawa doesn’t try to act upon his biggest urges. He gets an opportunity to kiss Adachi, but just does a safe kiss on the forehead. Modesty or just trying to not to be so obvious. Halfway into the series, there’s a confession and an acceptance. Seeing them move fast even for a 12-episode series makes me wonder if this relationship is going to go further like them sleeping together. And with that said, what would happen if Adachi loses his virginity? Will he lose his power? Oh, but I’m over-thinking things here. I’ve got another ship to discuss here.

Wait, what?! Are we going down the Junjou-Sekaiichi route?

Tsuge is Adachi’s long-time friend. He’s a writer and surprise, surprise a virgin like his friend. And just like Adachi, Tsuge got hit with the supernatural as whoever he has skin contact with, he can read their minds. Tsuge winds up making friends with a delivery boy, Minato. I know the boy is only coming back to see the kitty Tsuge recently adopted, but we all know what’s up. Unlike Adachi and Kurosawa, these two had no interest whatsoever at the beginning. It felt like Minato didn’t really see Tsuge as a friend until it was close to the end of the series. And Tsuge was a bit quicker with his feelings.

ENDING: By the halfway point, Adachi and Kurosawa are an item and went on their first awkward date. What comes next? Total honesty! Yeah, Adachi has been holding a pretty big secret from Kurosawa and that’s him being able to read thoughts when there’s skin-to-skin contact. Adachi almost let the secret out on accident once or twice, but could pass it off as one of them being too drunk. On Kurosawa’s birthday, there was an event for work. Adachi invited his friend Tsuge and Tsuge invited his friend Minato. This is when Adachi learns that Tsuge recently got the same power as Adachi.

Okay, so I guess that means it’s just the same power of being able to read minds. That just means Japan’s got a mass horde of 30-year-old virgins reading people’s thoughts. But of course, it can only work if there’s skin-to-skin contact. Depending on your life, you could go your whole life without noticing you have this power. But I digress.

Another effect to the power is that Adachi and Tsuge are able to communicate telepathically. The boys learn that this power led them to someone they have feelings for. Of course, Adachi can’t enjoy this moment of clarity. Kurosawa sees the two boys standing together and got jealous. Jealousy is Kurosawa’s ugliest trait. He is jealous of nearly every person Adachi talks to. After Tsuge leaves, Adachi reveals to Kurosawa that he has the mind-reading power and has had it for a while now. Thankfully, it didn’t cause a rift in the relationship. Both boys seem to love each other just the same if not more so. Although, Kurosawa is a bit embarrassed knowing that Adachi has kinda been prying in his mind for a while now.

Okay, the big reveal for Adachi is already out in the open and there’s three or four episodes left. What now? Something kinda huge! Work life kinda comes in and sticks a wrench in things. The higher-ups noticed how much Adachi has improved as of recent. You can chalk that up to Adachi now being able to read minds and the side-help he’s been getting from Kurosawa. But the big bosses wanted to give Adachi an opportunity at one of their other branches in Nagasaki. And currently, they are in a different city. I honestly forget where. It really felt like Adachi had no interest in doing this and not just because of Kurosawa. So, he tip-toes around the idea by speaking to another colleague about taking up the opportunity or not. This did not sit well with Kurosawa when he learned about what Adachi did. Kurosawa was not only mad that he didn’t discuss this situation with him, but that he spoke with another coworker about it.

Meanwhile, let’s look at Tsuge’s situation. Unlike his friend, Tsuge is not in a relationship with Minato and there’s an air of uncertainty of whether Minato feels the same way as Tsuge. Plus, Minato has got other things on his mind like dancing. He has the chance to go professional and be in a dance troupe. Tsuge has been a real big supporter of Minato. He even got him to an important performance when his bike ran out of gas. This looks like things are going to end nicely. Ehhh…that was until Tsuge reveals to Minato that he had a bit of an ulterior motive for doing so much to help him.

This is where we’re at. Adachi and Tsuge have not spoken to the guys they like for a couple of days. Both for different reasons, but both for stuff they said and did. The Minato situation is that Minato couldn’t talk about joining this dance troupe as it was sudden and secret until the reveal, so boy’s been busy. Tsuge showed up at the debut with a gift of new sneakers and hell yeah, Minato wanted to see Tsuge. Both boys reveal how they feel about each other currently. It’s looking good.

As for Adachi and Kurosawa, Adachi is on the 10-day business trip to Nagasaki and Kurosawa is just miserable. Actually, both boys are miserable! They both said and did things that they regret over a work issue. It looked as though Adachi was ghosting Kurosawa until Kurosawa got a hand-written letter from Adachi. More can be said in a letter than in a text message. Kurosawa winds up making the long trip to Nagasaki and waited for Adachi outside his hotel. Not only are they made up, they look like they’re about to fuck. Did they?

Oh, yes ma’am these boys fucked. Huh? I wonder if Adachi or Tsuge have sex if their mind-reading powers will disappear. Oop, right on cue! Yeah, Adachi lost it. It’s a weird feeling, but I think most of his thoughts are of trying to open this new location in Nagasaki and wanting to be with Kurosawa. And…ooh, I’m too excited because the end result made me very happy.

Rings. Vows. FUCKING WEDDING WITH EVERYONE THERE! Happy ending!

Sorry, after watching Yuri on Ice all those years ago, I’m still going to lose my shizzle when I see two boys who love each other exchange rings. God, I miss the fuck out of that show. Oh well, at least I know that we will one day get the Yuri on Ice movie that has been promised to us that is on its way since 2017.

I am now receiving word from some random place that the Yuri on Ice movie has been dropped by Studio Mappa. FUUUUUUUUUUU-

But as for this series, I liked it. I might even pick up the manga to quench this thirst of mine. I’m wondering how a story like this continues as both of these boys are now happily married. Unless the story decides to cover more with Tsuge and Minato. I think I’ll just check out the live-action drama that aired in 2023. Yeah, believe it or not, the live-action came out before the anime. I see a lot of hype surrounding this particular title. It’s no surprise that a compilation film was announced immediately after the season ended. That’s sometimes a good sign that more content is on the way. I think those who are into BL anime, this might be a good watch. And for those long-time Yuri on Ice holdouts…I’m pissed off too. But maybe, take your mind off the anger and check this puppy out.

If you would like to watch Cherry Magic, Crunchyroll not only has the anime, but also the live-action drama as well.

[idothingsandstuffs]

I've talk about the Kirby right back at ya reboot I've made in my head, that was inconsistent af.

Here are some more things that I've created in my head that happened in it.

(And if a reboot or a new anime happens and some of this happens, that is not a coincidence I have future vision that is just pretty inconsistent\jk)

•It is called "Kirby right back at ya:deluxe"

•Everyone is a like 5-7 years older compare to the original.

•All the waddle dees were raised by dedede and escargoon therefore bandee start off as a jerk but gets character development.

•One of the waddle dees fakes their own death to join meta's crew as sailor dee.

•Meta knight is a wanted criminal.

•Kirby was raised by sir Arthur before he was send to popstar.

•Kirby is also fullent in Spanish but doesn't have an accent.

•Kirby can talk but still says poyo as a tick.

•Adeline is Ado's younger sister.

•Adeline and Ado live in the castle because Dedede declared both of them royal painters because he doesn't wanna admit he adopted two children.

•Giving children a job in the castle is Dedede's way of adoption.

•That one "how can I help you king Dedede" part from the intro would be change every episode to fit what is going to happen in the episode.

•Marx was also raised by sir Arthur with Kirby and Kirby saw him as a big brother, and milky way wishes messed Kirby up.

•Marx and meta knight are demon beasts.

•The reason sir Arthur raised Marx and Kirby was to keep a close eye on them.

•The reason why Arthur wanted to keep a close eye on them is because the last demon beast that they trusted became a war criminal and Kirby has has the potential to become full on void or zero if they felt a lot of negative feelings.

•Oh and also Kirby is the positive reancarnetion of void.

•If Ado tries draws a copy of someone the copy becomes how that person should be like, while when Adeline Tris to do it, it becomes how she sees this person.

•Adeline tries to turn a blind eye to dedede's bad action while Ado tries to justify them until a point where they can't keep doing it because he started to use them in his plans.

•It is a musical.

•King dedede would have a whole song about how great he is.

•Gooey feels weird around Kirby because he senses an energy that is so unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

•Gooey is tramutized from zero.

•A song that dark matter sing that happens in dedede's head when he possessed him. In the song he shape shift into everyone who dedede cared about and hurt and sings about how much he sucks, and the worst part is king dedede can't deny any of them because he knows all of them is true.

•A scene where king dedede losses everyone who respected him (waddle dees, Ado and Adeline stopped flowing his orders and escargoon left) and he realizes there is no one to blame but himself.

•Romk arc takes place after the dm arc and is the first time Kirby meets meta knight

•Sailor dee drowns and dies. This event traumitizes meta knight.

•A scene where king Dedede has a mental breakdown because he can't understand why Kirby is so kind to him and doesn't hate his guts like everyone else in the kingdom because he should hate him the most and even begs Kirby to just hate him. Kirby refuses and gives him a hug.

•Meta knight, after trying to take king dedede's throne, goes to king dedede's castle (dedede doesn't know yet) the only people who know what meta tried to do is his crew, Kirby, knuckle Joe (he was helping Kirby) and that girl with a gun that I can't remember the name of.

•Meta and Dedede were friends before dedede became king and he didn't know he was dethrone an old friend.

•The kids were going to tell dedede but when Kirby realized how happy he was to found an old friend. That leaved Kirby in a deilema state where he could tell dedede the truth and ruin his happiness and confirm his belief that everyone hates him in kings eyes or let them play pretend until somebody losses their head.

•When dedede founds out about what meta tried to did he takes him to the forest and fights him. They still hang out after it but they are pretty cold to eachother.

•Susie sounds like a vocaloid.

•Susie talks in a different language but has an auto translator that most of the time doesn't work probably

•A detective arc about what happened to the former ruler of dreamland and if dedede killed them or not.

•Don't worry everyone gets along in the end.

(I can add more by rebloging)

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #38: “Pause” | June 20, 2010 - 11:30PM | S03E08

Lotta animation got me on this one. I was doing big old smiles every few minutes.

This is the Tyler Perry episode. In it, Granddad gets to be in a Tyler Perry play (they don’t call him Tyler Perry though, they come up with a different name to call him instead of directly saying he’s Tyler Perry because you get in biiiiiig trouble if you do that!!!!) but then he finds out he’s going to be the love interest of the Madea character, who is simply Tyler Perry in drag. In other words: Granddad has to be gay for pay. 

Can I make any kind of excuse for this episode being homophobic? I simply cannot. But, just like when famous Caucasian scamps “Matt and Trey” veer into libertarian territory while also being very funny, I simply have to chuckle, shake my head, look into the camera, and smugly say “you couldn’t get away with this today!” So many people would clap after I said that. But: I laughed and thought this was a funny ‘sode. Can ya blame me?

I think I'd heard about this one being controversial, and I believe I read it was banned for a spell. That somehow doesn't directly translate to it being beloved like it does for other banned episodes (the uniquely bad-for-it's-era New York episode of The Simpsons being banned by the 9/11 people comes to mind). It seems like sometimes the best thing that can happen to a cartoon episode is for it to get banned; it's legacy becomes something of legend and it's perceived quality tends to inflate. If you look at the episodes in order of IMDB rating, you'll see this one somewhere in the middle. Fair!

And that’s the write up for this one! I’m sorry, I need to make some of these bad so I can get through them faster. This one boils down to one thing: for the two main men in this story (Joel Hodgeson voice) it's all about sex, and I couldn’t agree more. Let’s all try to have some sex this year okay everyone?

EPHEMERA CORNER

MAIL BAG

Been too long. Sorry about that. Holidays. Job is hellish. You get it. As a consequence there are a lot of Christmas-themed Mail Bags I never replied to, so let's get to it:

Agree with you on the Married News Team. Jan and Wayne Sklar (know affectionately as the Sklar Brothers) are complete dopes. Someone needs to tell Tim to get a life. Every time he chirps about Trump he becomes president. Maybe he should focus on his tan and wax, Mr. Hollywood. Heh. Merry Christmas.

I actually watched the Office Hours election night live episode and it's basically just Tim frowning in slow motion for 3 hours. Get well soon Tim, and Merry Christmas to ya. Thank you for your mail Tim I'm a big fan

What are your favorite Adult Swim stocking stuffers. They have to be able to fit in a stocking and they have to be Adult Swim related. You can fill the stocking up as much as you life but it alls needs to rest in there comfortable without falling out if you hang it up. It's the holiday season after all, which is a time for giving.

You know I love my digital discs, and wouldn't you know it you could fit several DVDs in there. Since Santa goes all over the world I'm gonna ask him to get me the Australian-exclusive releases to spin on my region-free DVD player. We're talking Moral Orel volumes 2 & 3. We're talking that Space Ghost DVD that says it's complete but it's missing an entire season. We're talking Minoriteam for some reason.

Also I think it'd be real cool if I got the Master Shake air-freshener from the 2002 giveaway. Not the one they released into stores where they changed it so Master Shake is smiling. His smile disgusts me.

Also, I once possessed a Sealab shirt that was compressed into a hockey-puck sized package. That'd be nice in a stocking. It'd probably get all snug in the toe of the stocking, like an orange in a sock. You could probably beat somebody up with that. I could use a weapon, so I could really use that. PLEASE Santa! COME BACK!!!

Hey guys Luke from Adult Swim 2021 here reminding you to click the ASK ME ANYTHING to ask me literally anything. I appreciate the Adult Swim questions but I will answer anything you send me. I simply must. I'm eager to help you out.

Hey knock it off don't write stuff in my voice. STOP IT

Santa's coming. Getting scared?

Shut up!

Neighbors From Hell is like someone asking "Hey what if Radiskull and Devil Doll had legs?" And you aren't gonna like where those legs are going.

Those legs went to "no longer being on TV and only available on an illegal dailymotion link" which I actually do like

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Price

Chapter 26 - Not Even Close

Summary: Set during RttE, based on the episode "Gold Rush." The entire point was for Hiccup to get Berk's Gold back. Well, he's far from his goal now.

Warnings: Mentions of Captivity, torture, animal attack

Rating: Explicit

Dead Dove: Yes

Words: 1 043

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Characters: Astrid, Heather, Hiccup

Whumpee: Hiccup, Astrid

Whumper: Viggo, Ryker

Pairing: Hiccstrid, Vigcup, Rycup

Author’s Notes: Happy New Year everybody! I hope everyone's goals for 2025 get realized.

Enjoy!

-XOXOX-

On patrol, Astrid is angry.

“I swear it, Heather! The next time I see either Viggo or Ryker, it’s on sight! On sight!” She growls with so visceral of a tone in her voice, the other woman is surprised she isn’t turning Stormfly into the direction of Hunter Island right this very second.

“You should see him, Heather! He’s still in pain! He’s been in pain since yesterday and you know how bad his phantom pains can get and he refuses to take care of himself! He was… He- he was only with them for two months! For two months! Sure, maybe two weeks longer than that! But two months and Viggo has him so hurt, so wrapped around his finger that he won’t even take care of himself, so matter how much he hurts!” Astrid roars at the end of that rant, fists tight. Her dragon cringes at the volume.

“Next time I see him, he’s dead!”

Heather keeps an eye on the water below and the horizon in the distance, like they’re so supposed to. Still no ships three weeks after his rescue, but that doesn’t mean they’re getting away from danger, it means they’re headed towards it. Every day, they’re a day closer.

She could speak, say something to try and help, but what can she say that will bring her friend comfort?

Hiccup is in some kind of a state of mind, not even Heather is sure which one, but she knows the worst is yet to come. The best guess she has is that he’s protecting himself. From himself, from the Grimborn Brothers, from his loved ones. Viggo’s is the only name that has fallen the past few weeks, that’s how little they know. They haven’t figured out that Ryker had a hand in his suffering, too. That there are two men in his head deciding what he says and does.

So letting Astrid rant, that is the best Heather can do.

“And you, you and Dagur, you’re just hanging around Hiccup. Like you have this unspoken thing going on that the rest of us don't understand! How can you be around him and not be driven completely insane by everything that’s been taken away from him? How?!”

“Because we do have this unspoken thing that you don’t understand,” there is the one thing Heather can talk about. Perhaps, the only thing raging inside of Astrid’s head that she may be able to help with.

She stares at her, eyes wide and fearful. There is very little this warrior fears, but all the ones she does experiences, they always have to do with Hiccup. The love of her life, whether he knows it or not.

Heather decides to elaborate, Windshear shoots her a brief look.

“You’re not a stranger to pain, Astrid. None of the Dragon Riders are, but there are some things that even you don’t understand. Things that Dagur and I do because we’ve lived through them. And unless you have, you just can’t understand.”

“Stoick and Gobber haven’t lived through them either,” as far as Astrid knows, they haven’t been held captive before. Yet even they seem to know something.

“But they still have decades more life experience. They’ve fought battles and wars for far longer than any of us have. Even if they were never captured themselves, they’ve known people who have, still seen what it can do,” and Hiccup will be their example. Whether the Dragon Riders want him to be or not.

Astrid looks devastated. She just got told that, not only does she not understand her best human friend, the boy of her dreams, but she likely never will. Not in the same way his father and mentor appear to do, not the same way the Berserker Siblings appear to. Heather, who has been through a kind of Hel that she never even told her about, as it turns out.

But Heather isn’t done yet and she continues in the softest and most emphatic tone she can manage.

“Can you give me just one example of what you think happened to him on that ship? For ten weeks? Because I can promise you, Astrid, every single day was a new kind of nightmare and I am amazed with the way he’s still getting out of bed. He’s still talking to you, lets Toothless all over him, he listens to you. I had years to work my way out of that dark pit and you know how hard it was for me to trust any of you when we met again,” they are harsh words she tries to bring her as softly as she can. Because Astrid is in pain, too, and Heather never wants her to think she’s in the wrong for that.

And her words reach her. Astrid can’t give her a single example that hasn’t been rubbed into her face already. Like the scars on his back that can only come from a whipping or the scars on his arm that can only come from a dragon. And both of those are still surrounded by a veil of mystery.

Because what on Midgard could Hiccup have done that he deserved to have his back torn open? His voice permanently changed by screaming. Nothing in her eyes, but Hiccup isn’t her enemy. She loves him.

What on Midgard happened that would cause a dragon to try to rip his arm off? She’s been around dragons long enough, grew up seeing the kind of carnage they can bring, it’s how she knows that his arm must’ve looked like a nightmare after it just happened. It’s a miracle that it’s still there at all, that he can use his left hand somewhat like normal, though it lacks most of its strength.

Then there is him flashing Fishlegs. She can’t even begin to tie a concrete explanation to that one that doesn’t make her scream and cry.

Heather is right, Astrid doesn’t know and neither do the other Dragon Riders.

“Trust me, Astrid, the worst has yet to come.”

“Then how can we help?” She asks and all Heather can give her is a shrug. Because even having lived through some pretty bad stuff herself, she still doesn’t know the answer to that.