#afk order and chaos

[mysaldate]

Some gifs I snipped from the Order and Chaos cinematic for y'all + the thumbnail ^^^

I am uploading all of these and more on Tenor under the tags AFK + character name (or Eugavus)

I have them fighting in one gif that's unfortunately too big for Tumblr. I can try to compress it but it might come at the cost of losing quality, let me know if you'd like me to try regardless.

Similarly to the previous duo, I have these two put together as well but the size is an issue for Tumblr.

Also have these two connected up on Tenor!

These are connected too!

And just for those who also want the other characters (+Daimon and Talene on Tenor):

And a two misc:

Happy Eugavusmas!

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

I have found the strength to draw one (of two) OCs for AFK Journey. So let me record a few details about her here.

Lavinia

Close childhood friend of Valen. Her father was an Imperial Knight stationed there (Stoutstone Isle) but died on duty in her early childhood years. Since then she dreamed of stepping into her father's shoes, bravely (and angrily often) tagging behind Valen to prove she was no less than him, despite being nearly 3 years younger. Sometimes even managed to kick his butt!

Left for the capital at 11 with her mother. She hated the city and missed the island (and her friend), but then found the Heroic Order and saw that girls were allowed - and then didn't think of anything else.

She had agreed with Valen that they'd meet again as knights but he never showed up and so time passed. On occasion she'd discuss with her mother what he might have been up to, not knowing that he's been in Holistone the past few years.

Her design was influenced by the two other Imperial members Guywin and Joey. She isn't meant to have any special rank, but somehow the design looked bland without the touch of gold.

Her story would be experienced as some extended side quest. At that point she's been through stupid stuff and hit rock bottom. She hid in the Ashen Wastes for a few weeks, before Berial senses her despair. He grants her continued life in exchange of being entertained... so now Lavinia is returning to the capital to follow up on her dark thoughts and assassinate the current leader of the Heroic Order.

She would not actually be wearing her uniform, but some rags she got in Mauler territory a few weeks prior. Only after the side quest is over she'd be seen in uniform again.

Valen's got to attend an important meeting of the Solitaries in the capital, and Merlin joins for the opportunity to see more of the Lightbearer Empire (and refresh her memory). They run into Lavinia on the road and travel together for a bit.

"Who the heck gave you permission to grow into such a stud of a man?!" "The same entity that made you grow pretty beautiful curves. You actually look like a girl now!"

Then lots of things happen. xD Friendships rekindled and broken again. Attempted murder in broad daylight and witnesses.

Truths are being shared, faith and trust are lost. Futures put on line. Hypofiends and a Hypogean in the middle of the capital!

Valen nearly throws the towel on the Heroic Order.

Corrupted Lavinia versus Valen (and others)

Berial is causing chaos but escapes from Merlin and the celestials.

The leader of the Heroic Order ends up very dead. Lavinia lives, somewhat against her expectations and wishes.

Hogan saves the situation, at least he tries to.

The Happy End is not missing, though: while leaving behind the capital for good, Lavinia continues to serve under and among better men in Holistone. ;-)

Due to previous events, Lavinia's life is dependent on Berial's grace. She's also got some perks due to that but she'd much rather not have anything to do with a Hypogean. Thankfully, he forgets about her until I need more drama many years down the line. xD

And finally... she wouldn't be a playable character ever, her skills are boring and greatly overshadowed by Valen or even Guywin. I might think about her stats in the future but since that part of the game isn't what sparks my interest, I probably won't. *shrugs*

Thanks for reading. :-) Until next time! <3

[crow-ter]

I think one of the reasons why the war of truth/forbidden family is probably my most beloved story in afk arena is bc of how many usual tropes it puts together, without them feeling too much, too cliche nor too tacky.

Found family? Check

Angel and Demon/ light and darkness/ order and chaos? Check

The supposed bad guy is actually a good guy? Check

Enemies to friends to lovers? Check

From “ew kids” and “jesus wtf how do you care for kids???” To “Fuck around with my children and find the fuck out” ? Check

Guy that looks kinda smart but is actually kinda dumb and guy that looks kinda dumb but is actually smart? Check

“I will leave my whole world and everything I know behind for you and these kids”? Check

The gays living in some cottage in a forest (lmfao)? Check

You and your loved ones against the entire world? Check

Separated family finally reunited? Check

Amnesia with a dash of “why is this so familiar?” ? Check

Siblings raised to become enemies and fight each other? Check

Siblings realizing who they are/reuniting and recovering their memories? Check

Kids saving their parents? Check

Sexy men in tight/revealing clothes? Fuckin CHECK

I could go on and on but you get the idea

[cyberbabyangell]

₊˚⊹☆ all my drs!!

have a list of all the drs i officially shift to (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ (in order of discovery) The ages are accurate to the moment i will shift in these drs if that makes sense..

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Better CR ⪼ Soren Minerva, 15 years old

this is where i'll permashift to 😼

Solar System ⪼ Soren Minerva, 8 years old

this dr is very similar to my bcr, but its the one with lore and history and gods etc also i shift at 8 just so i can bask in the 2010 years again because lets be honest they were the best ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

My Hero Academia ⪼ Aiden Konoike, 14 years old

i'm just a girl in this one. ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

Demon Slayer ⪼ Hoshi Tomioka, 16 years old

i'll have to figure this one out again, i just know i have cosmic breathing 🥳 zenitsu is probably my s/o •ᴗ•

Genshin Impact ⪼ Fleur, 18 years old(physically)

this one is lore heavy as well, but rn im just a court multitasker/protean at fontaine. i picked neuvillette as my found family, and kaeya & thoma as my lovers •ᴗ•

ParadoxLive ⪼ Nova Fall, 18 years old

aka one of my most hyped drs. im an idol there and a very cliche one at that. like that one barbie popstar movie where she transforms on stage, me core. i date nayuta because he's the only true one for me ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

What in HELL is bad? ⪼ Selene, 19 years old

i sort of follow the game plot, as in im the daughter of solomon. i didnt go too far in the game yet but i jst KNOW i either get close with satan or leviathan

Sonic the Hedgehog ⪼ Lune, do mobians have age..

this is the closest i currently am to being a princess, but im not royalty..sonic and shadow broke me out of my castle and brought me to green hill 😐 anyways i summon crystals with a wand weewoo! with the chaos emeralds i summon a crystal golem thing ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

Land of the Lustrous ⪼ Opal, 400 years old

not much to say except that opal looks uncannily close to diamond in appearance. i date zircon! or idk but we're best friends! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

Helodon ⪼ Atria, 20 years old

this is my partner's world - he writes a lot like me so of COURSE he has his own world like me and allowed me to shift there. i dont have much info on myself either i just know im cute and i love sothoth ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

Spiderverse ⪼ Blair Fall or Minerva idk, 16 years old

my alias is haxxor bunny, because its literally bronya's haxxor bunny skin in hi3..i attack like her too! and i got beef with aiden<3 im not sure but i think i'll date a spiderman version of sero there ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

90's dr ⪼ Kami Bateman, 26 years old

im a model hehe. and i date a perfectly sane and healthy patrick bateman really i just like his looks, i scripted he was really sweet ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

AFK Journey ⪼ Merlin, 300 years old

again i lost interest in the game but im still shifting there. my alias is jinx and im a vampire, also im a dude lol. my s/o is valen<3 but soren is so close to taking the cake and i'd be so mad cause dude got the same name as the host 😨 also im dura's son!

Wuthering Waves ⪼ Orion, 20 years old

okay bare with me i still love the game but im unable to play it so i cry every day. anyways..my original plan was to be part of the fractsidus under the alias Hikaru but i dont think i wanna do that anymore. so yeah i dont much abt myself here either! i really like (male) rover i hold him 🫴 maybe i'll be like jinhsi's brother or something ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

? ⪼ Viktor, 25 years old

bare with me (bis) when i say i love viktor but i became aware of him just because i love the steampunk aesthetic and because we dont have a mechanic in this list. i'm still hesitant of him being from belobog and possibly dating luocha or jing yuan, i need to play hsr more. "( – ⌓ – )=3

Undertale ⪼ Rune, 7-8 or however old Frisk is

this is actually my first ever dr. ive had a huge undertale hyperfixation (1-3 years) and i basically made an oc which was a self insert. it was also my first ever lore which was super complicated idk how 7 year old me thought of it. when i was 9 i accidentally manifested that what happened to frisk would happen to me, i didnt know what was shifting or manifestation i just wrote down the same thing about 100 times while believing in it a lot. guess it worked with a 7 years delay because now im shifting there! i dont know how it will go but i see a happy "ending" with the monsters living with me n frisk at the surface cause WHY TF NOT.

Kaiju no.8 ⪼ haha i dont have any info on them.

i recently started watching k8 and i love it and could see myself going there, but i don't know anything about myself there ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[kaledya]

HOWDY!! @marquisev

Overlord Arc general review:

First, OH MY GOD!!!! What level is this diyslog writing??????

First of all, I loved all the dialouges between Zestial and Alastor ı can READ them for hours. Everything they say is great And since they are both intelligent men,

it is not clear how their conversation will end.Sometimes it feels like Alastor is a Fly about to be caught in a spider's web.But Zestial expressions His speech is so vague that neither Alastor nor the reader knows what the outcome will be.But it's nice that Alastor stays calm despite this and approaches the event and sentences intelligently.

In short, look at this part And the scene at the end where Zestial warns Alastor about Constantine was very cool, it was a very nice description!!

Also The Tournament It's also a great detail to enter that area by measuring the weight of the Overlords!!. "Only those who are monsters enough can step here."

--

It was also very nice when Alastor met Rosie and talked to Serenity after entering!!

--

Then the Overlords gather and give a speech.I loved every dialogue here Vox's reaction to Alastor Alastor doesn't have his chair yet (you shouldn't have stayed AFK for 7 years)

And my favorite part is when things are getting heated, Lolicia comes out in a very cool way. It was really great how she supported Alastor and sat next to him.

I really like Valentino and Vox's dialogues.Vox sort of takes on the role of constantly keeping Val at line. (You know no one wants to starta a War in there)

The part about the gangs was really good And it's great that they gave this task to Alastor.(You were gone for 7 years, now you will remember the hierarchy and obey orders)

I really love using Serenity, she loves how she acts as the one pulling the strings no matter what the subject is.A kind of news-bringer It's also nice for Vox to say "I buy my information from the best source" and look at Serenity.

In addition, Lolicia declares her alliance with Alastor with nobility and bloodliness as always. It was seriously a great scene.

And the last scene where Serenity looks at the Lolicia and says "After all, Sir Pentious is not the only one who left his region alone, right" and the episode ended there was VERY EXCITING

I was like: Who WILL WAIT FOR 2 DAYS FOR NEXT EP!!!

-------

The dialogues in this episode were great It was really fun to read the chaos of Lolicia's inner thoughts.Like Sherlock Holmes, because of Misfortune's warning. counted all the possibilities in her mind and eliminated some of them.

And Alastor mentally analyzes the Overlords on the Table and lists what his current position is and what he needs to do, etc. It's really fun to read.

And it was really cool that Vox then yelled at Alastor and said he always ran away like a wet dog..(ah Vox you found the last person to fall in love with)

And it was very cool that after this sentence, Alastor got really angry and his voice changed and the atmosphere became completely tense.

I also loved the tension between Serenity and Velvet, they have a really good exchange of words.

And Lolicia deciding to take action against the fey, assuming the rules. But on the other hand, Al thinks that this mission will cause a rift between him and Charlie.

And it is very powerful that Serenity comes out and speaks for Alastor as things go even further downhill.

Every overlord (including Alastor and Lolicia):Wtf??

Lolica: wait a minute is that...

Misfortune: What? (I'm defending my dad, okay?)

This chapter was really exciting and fun to read!!

------

This chapter was simply amazing. You write Serenity really well. I love the way you reflect her smart, quick-witted and sneaky attitude. It was a lot of fun to read!!

Also watching his little fight with Velvet Seriously, their banter was great and there was a lot of dialogue that made me laugh.

I think my favorite was "why shouldn't I give 1 coin to the beggar" to Velvet in Serenity's dialogue.

And Lolicia noticing the rope between Alastor and Serenity and theorizing about it She thinks about pulling it out, and just as she's about to listen, the thread disappears from the sound Velvet's gum makes.

Frankly, I wonder if Lolicia will say something to Alastor about this purple Rope !!

And it was also very cool during Velvet and Serenity's conversation, where Serenity told Velvet that she could never beat her in a Strategic battle and Velvet remained unanswered.

It was very nice when Serenity said goodbye to Alastor and left him wondering about more things.

And the Battle between Alastor and Vox was seriously awesome TO I read the song you wrote And you pay so much attention to details You seriously look at the meaning of every word like WOW🛐🛐. Simply a perfect arc. My eyes are truly blesed

I'm also very excited for what will happen after this arc.How will they go about destroying the gang? What will Lolicia's role be in this mission?what about Charlie's reaction ro what did her two member of her hotel AAAAA SO EXCITING

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Arts:

FIRST OF ALL THE DRAWINGS WERE AWESOME AND VERY CUTE!!!!!?!

Jophiel and Abaddon are so cute It was very funny that Abaddon carved a statue of Raphael.

She is beautiful in the picture of her walking with Michael The picture of her exchanging letters with Uriel was really cute!!

And she was so cute in the picture where she was leaning on Gabriel's head

AND SERIOUSLY THANK YOU FANARTS, ARCHANGELS ARE REALLY GOOD IN YOUR STYLE 🛐🛐🛐🛐

And finally the Constantine on the Ring box You have drawn the Constsntine wonderfully and the ring and the box are in the Lolicia Theme (genius idea,). As soon as I find the energy to draw, I will draw the Lolicia version of this art!!

Seriously, thank you so much for the gifts!!!*Crying from Happiness

--

AND CONGRATULATIONS ON 100,000K It's really AMAZING that you wrote such a quality, creative and long work in such a short time. I have endless respect for you🫡🫡🛐🛐🛐

And most importantly SUMMER THEMED LOLICIA ART!!! OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE. I LOVE THAT THEIR SWIMWEAR IS FROM THE 30'S AND A LOVE THE COMPOSITION AND I LOVED LOLICIA'S BRAIDS, IT LOOKS SO SWEET

And the little Constsntine on top looks so cute too!!

And again, thank you so much for loving this AU and putting so much effort into it.And thank you very much for introducing me to OCs like Lolicia Abaddon Verdelet and Hürrem. It is truly an honor to meet a talented writer like you!!!

and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

And take care!! ❤️🫂🫂

[rainbowchaox]

Angst Incoming (Pissa edition)

Okokokokokok First Things First I’m sorry this is because of what happened to Missa last night because of foolish. No hate to any creators obviously. It just made me start thinking thoughts-

Do you think Missa would start to avoid Philza thinking foolish killed him under his orders? Philza is the leader of red. It’s not that big a stretch. Do you think he begged for mercy and received none? Do you think as much as he still loves Philza that he is finally SCARED of him. Missa may love everyone and not want to be violent- almost in a naive sorta sense. But what if he starts to fully believe Philza would kill him. Ever since they got paired up together. Missa never felt scared of Philza. But now he is. And he is terrified.

He would gladly accept it and still love Philza no question in that. Philza doesn’t understand why Missa avoids and hides from him. So scared but so In love leaving Missa emotions in a complicated knot. And at worst Missa understands. Anything to save his eggs.

Do you think foolish casually boasts that he killed Missa in his sleep (afk) to their leader Philza? Philza quickly being full of dread and rock in his stomach realizing his husband the love of his life he misses so much is SCARED of him. That Missa misunderstood foolish actions as blessed by him. That Missa even got it in his head Philza wanted to harm him. And the fact Missa fully accepted that fact? That’s he’s okay with it. Anything to save chayanne and Tallulah?

Missa self worth is so low. He won’t share any of this with Philza. He understands. If anything some pain is nothing to show he can be a good dad for once. He loves Philza. But his nightmares have Philza in them and Philza isn’t the one in pain in them. “It makes sense….anything for chayanne..good I was useful for Philza..he needed the points.. anything to get chayanne and Tallulah back… I understand-“

Tina watches Missa as he wakes up from nightmares numerous times during the night. Mumbling he wants Philza back. He hates it here. He just wants to be friends again. She starts to watch him one of the sweetest guys she knows slowly break. Causing her to hate Philza and red team even more. Because yes for foolish it was a Simple as slicing Missa neck as he slept. But Tina? She sees the aftermath. And it ain’t pretty. All she can do is comfort him. She doesn’t understand even after what they did to him that he is still begging everyone in the blue team not to retaliate. She openly sees the healed scar on his neck and can’t bring herself to be peaceful. Missa is a better man that everyone else in blue.

Tina tries her best. She makes Missa in the days after to have some sort of structure. She makes Missa farm apples in the morning and she mines with him in the evening. She denies BBH desire to use him in any plans where he would clearly die yet again. She will protect Missa. Tina is Missa new source of safety. Spreen his brother is dead. His eggs have been missing. And his husband is on a separate team.

Once Philza learns what foolish has done to Missa. His beautiful and wonderful husband that he knows so well isn’t violent. Philza tries to find him. But when Missa doesn’t want to talk he won’t be found. And Tina definitely is pretty protective. Eventually he does find Missa and THEY finally talk.

Both hugging each other. They missed each other so much. Philza gently touches the scar on Missa neck and feels so guilty. Missa immediately forgives him. Missa may be scared of his team and practically everything but that won’t stop him from loving his husband. They kiss each other with tear tracks their faces. And just be with each-other in the moment amidst the bloodshed and the chaos.

They both start to find places to meet up even as their teams start to grow even more aggressive just being with each other. Philza is most definitely worried that each time Missa Mets him he has more bruises and scars gained from numerous respawns. Philza even has to see Missa maskless. Missa lost the mask early on in the chaos.

JUST them communicating and loving each other the same even if the world has gone mad. Philza along with others slowly uncover a way to save all eggs and Missa is right there with philza like they both haven’t gotten through the worst two weeks of their life. They are in love and are together and that what matters. They do get worse. They somehow get even more obsessed with eachother. But they made it through and stronger for it.

[orginllazyblog]

Okay, this has nothing to do with Twisted Wonderland

So, in 2018 or 2019, I first downloaded AFK Arena, and I love some of the heroes' design and go through some of the events as far as I remember

Later on, I got bored, so I un-install, but downloaded again when I saw the amount of improvement.

I got back to grinding, do guild battles, and changing a bit of my team. When Lucilla and Liberta were introduced, the game gave you a choice to pick which one to choose (like Lucretia and Zaphael)

I picked Lucilla and went through the event, the flash back, and receiving some goodie rewards. Like the story so far.

Then, these new awakened heroes came

Eugene, the hypogran, fool of chaos

Gavus, the celestial, keeper of order

Aka, ✨️✨️gay dads✨️✨️

This new fond family got me attached and especially the web comic. They remind me of the other families like Shemira, Niru, and Daimon. And the graveborn sisters with their adopted father too. It's pretty much why I love playing AFK Arena because the wholesome content.

So here are some memes that cure my heart:

I heard about this ship, which is Thane and Baden. Estrilla, she's Baden's niece, and Thane is her mentor. I'll probably soon like Thane x Baden ship

When I first started shipping Gavus x Eugene, I was wondering if other people wrote some fics about these two, and my wish came true

My reaction:

And lastly:

The difference is that Gavus thought the other celestials would understand that the "weapons" they were looking for were only children and to give them a normal life. Eugene told him before that the celestials wouldn't take it seriously, and he was right. Which led the two to raise Lucilla and Liberta in a hidden forest to protect them.

So that's why Gavus is the better celestial dad than Zaphael, who he killed his own son for "protecting" the world.

[magicofthepiper]

If the AFK Journey translators are leaning into Conservativism = Bad mentality, there's going to be a lot of cognitive dissonance because of how this franchise explores faith and tradition.

This game glorifies theological conservatism, at least on an aesthetic level. There's a lot of characters that are extremely devoted to their dieties and whose character is deeply tied to the practice and maintenance of tradition. Yet, it doesn't take long to find that within each faction, there's plenty of cynicism and rebels.

Let's just take a look at the Lightbearer Faction for now. Despite their name being Lightbearers, implying that they consider themselves the only beings that bear the Goddess Dura's light/life-force, there are plenty of skeptics, agnostics, and/or atheists. Hogan has shown shades of skepticism, and I was surprised when in Arena's second anniversary event, Angelo ( Rowan's elder brother ) mentioned not believing in gods.

However, I see Lucius, he's right there. In his white armor, with his hammy voice lines, and the little animation that pops up when he earns the "Talented Tank" title where his kind eyes look at the player. He's also accompanied by Journey's Temesia, who, in their newer render, their circlet looks like a cross has been scarred upon their forehead. She wishes to repent for her sin of showing "mercy" to another, disobeying Temple orders. These are devout characters.

Now, I expect these characters to be saintly. They're followers of Dura, Goddess of Life. Dura and the other Celestials are generally viewed positively. When AFK Arena released, the lines of good and evil were simple. Early Campaign chapters and Voyages had simple narratives about expelling the Hypogeans and Graveborn invading the Lightbearer regions and causing chaos.

However, as the lore expanded and more characters were introduced, it became more complicated.

In Arena's scattered lore, I have the impression that Lucius's belief in the clergy at times falters and I remember in Belinda's Ascension event, Eluard mentioned that the clergy were whispering amongst themselves that Belinda was going wayward. Belinda is extremely devoted, and the pious Eluard maintained faith in her, but it shows how easy the clergy can become suspicious of their own.

The Order of The Light isn't always portrayed positively. Arena's Cecilia is a devout nun and inquisitorial agent who will not faulter to dispose of anyone deemed a heretic. Niru is just one of many characters who was a Lightbearer executed for practicing the dark arts, but arose as Graveborn to serve Quaedam.

However, what's even more shocking is that there's a little girl dressed like a maid in Arena named Rosaline. Her parents were executed not for practicing the dark arts but for merely unwittingly housing practitioners of it. She has been orphaned and trained into a life of servitude due to zealotry with judicial power.

Not to mention, in more recent lore developments, we've been introduced to The Secret Society of the Crow. An organization that turned away from Dura and The Order of The Light in order to train children that seem to possess an ability to harness the dark arts. This has led to Lightbearers that can tame Hypogeans. What's more, the ruling monarch of the Lightbearer Empire offers them his support, for he fears that the The Order of The Light's authority threatens his.

Again, in Arena, you have a good mix of conservatives and rebels in nearly each faction. Also, what exactly would be conservative values would vary for each faction. For Lightbearers, you have your gallant Lucius and your shadowy Scarlet; for Maulers, your warmongering Brutus and your peacemaking Skriath; for Wilders, you have your sagely Arden and your hot-blooded Eorin; for Graveborn, you have your devoted Niru and your defiant Treznor; for Celepogeans you have your eternally clashing arch-rivals Orthos and Zolrath and your condemned partners/lovers Gavus and Eugene.

More important than condemning or uplifting conservativism is that the game makes peace and unification an ideal. Even Hypogeans are sometimes included in these more peaceful and celebratory events. But in practice, peace aligns more with Wilder traditional values over, say, the Maulers who quickly fall into infighting unless united by unanimous acceptance of a principle authority figure.

[gova01]

Havoc, the chaos warframe [Fan concept]

[So i had this warframe idea, wanted to drew him before posting it, but since i can't right now i will just post it later... mayebe... I will probably forget]

[Important to say that I have absolutely no idea of balancing and the numbers are only to make a better idea of how things work, if you think something isn't balanced, you are probably right]

Havoc is a warframe designed on not having control over his abilities. All the powers he has are extremely powerful, but not being able to adapt to them fast enough will result in them being useless.

Codex:

An unstable warframe unable to control the works of his abilities

Stats:

Sex: Male, body type similar to Vauban

Health: 250 at R30

Shield: 400 at R30

Armor: 250

Energy: 140

Sprint Speed: 1.00

Aura Polarity: Naramon 

Exilus Polarity: None

Polarities: 2 Madurai 

Progenitor Element: Radiation

Passive: Entropy: Every 30 seconds he will get one of the following bonuses: +25% Damage (Additive, not multiplicative), +25% Power strength (Additive, not multiplicative), +5 Health regeneration and shields regenerate 20% faster. This abilities are not chosen at random, they rotate in that order

1 Ability: Furore (25 energy, subsumable): Enemies in a line of 8 meters of Havoc (Similar to Nidus 1º) are marked for 12 seconds. When enemies marked receive a status proc, other enemies within 1,5 meters receive a random status proc (The same proc for everyone). This ability is capped at a proc every half second.

2 Ability: Pandemonium(40 energy): Havoc throws one of his trinkets at random, each one of them has a different ability and stats. To avoid pure randomness of this ability, a box in the HUD will show what it will throw next time you use the ability. Some of them could be:

Proto Nervo (Vauban inspired ability): Havoc throws an electric mine that throws electric pulses that electrifies enemies within 3 meters for 3 seconds. Electrified enemies can chain the electrified to nearby enemies for half its duration. The mine will deal five electric pulses every 3 seconds before disappearing

Blinding Javelin (Excalibur inspired ability): Havoc throws a javelin of light that flies directly straight and explodes on contact to any surface, dealing 350 radiation damage within 10 meters and blinding enemies them for 10 seconds

Toy Twin (Wukong inspired ability): Havoc throws a small version of himself that will patrol an area of 30m. When an enemy enters his range of vision (10m) it will rush to them and deal 15% of the equipped melee (If no melee is equipped it will deal 800 damage evenly spread on all physical damage types). It has 200% the health and shields of Havoc and will only despawn if it is killed or the player goes AFK.

Glass Seed (Gara inspired ability): Havoc throws a seed that on impact with the floor will create an area of 5 meters where enemies will be vitrified in 5 seconds. The area is marked with a flower (Similar to Baruuk 2) with a duration 10 seconds

Gravity Arrow (Ivara inspired ability): Havoc shoots an arrow which will pull enemies within 6 meters towards it. Having more strength will make it pull enemies faster

Toxibomb (Lavos inspired ability): Throws a bomb that on contact with anything will deal 300 toxic damage and 5 toxic procs enemies within 13m

Spiribomb (Nekros inspired ability): Throws a slow orb that slowly flies in a straight line going through enemies dealing 150 Impact damage. When in touches any surface it will explode dealing all the damage it has dealt in an area of 15 meters

Microbomb (Nukor inspired ability): Throws a bomb that on contact with anything will deal 100 radiation damage and triplicate the head size to enemies within 13m

Bubbles (Kompressa inspired ability): Bubbles burst from Havoc to where it is looking in a big area, while this ability is casted Havoc will be unable to move for 2 seconds (Similar to mesa 4º). The bubbles will explode 4 seconds after being thrown and deal 100 cold damage each and 20% status chance. Upgrading strength will throw more bubbles and range will cover a wider area.

This ability has a 2 second cool down between uses.

3 Ability: Chaos flower (60 energy, Tactical Ability): Havoc plants a flower on the floor, it will stay there for 50 seconds and give a different buff at random every 10 seconds (Each buff duration is 90 seconds) to any allay in 15 meters of it. Some of the possible buffs could be:

+50% Damage (Multiplicative)

+75% Damage reduction

+150  Health and shields

+20% Ability strength

+25% Ability range

+20% Movement speed

+25% Multishot

Companion immunity to damage for 60 seconds

+20 health/s regeneration

Nearby enemies will have their speed reduced by 50%

The buff duration and effects are affected by Ability Duration and Ability strength respectively 

4 Ability: Space rupture (100 energy): Havoc overloads his portal and unleashes a powerful attack that can take three forms. While this ability is active you can move but can’t cast abilities or use weapons:

Fusing beam (Caliban inspired): Havoc casts a wide beam that slowly concentrates in a small area and dealing more damage (from 2000 to 6000 blast damage)

Concentrated beam: Havoc casts a small laser signaling where its pointing (And clue at what it is) and 2 seconds later a powerful beam will be launched. The beam deals 8500 fire damage, it also has infinite Body Punch Through and can also go through thin walls

Flamethrower (Chorma and Grandel inspired): Havoc casts a potent toxic flame and absorbs enemies within 15 meters (The closer they are, the faster), after 6 seconds it will end up throwing a bomb that strips 80% of enemy armor. The flames deal 2000 toxic damage and the bomb deals 4500 acid damage

Acquirement method:

A new Disruption node appears in the void.

The node has an unique map, similar to the citrine between areas, where fragments from all the system and duviri are floating in the void. The map is very open and with more focus on height, also due being just random parts floating on the void it is really easy for one to fall from it.

The parts of the warframe can be obtained as reward for completing rounds with the same probability as Gauss, but also every 8 rounds an enemy Havoc will spawn and kill him will grant one of his blueprints

Aspect:

He looks mildly bulky, heavily decorated with complex patterns and broken ornaments all over his body. His chest is broken, revealing a portal to his pocket dimension were pulls all the weaponry he uses for the abilities.

His right hand (Which he uses to pull things from the portal) has been heavily deformed having longer fingers ending in claws, and parts of it exposing flesh.

His helmet is mostly spheric with a flat surface on the top, it has five eyes symmetrically positioned on his face. The bottom part  is a wider platform with four glowing rings on it.

Leverian:

Pandemonium's Leverian tells the story of how he was designed to use scrapped parts of other warframes and was given as security to a powerful family. It worked restlessly expelling people that tried to get into their house and killing those who tried to kill them, but even then they treated him very coldly, only talking to give him orders and complaining about his work.

Eventually when the orokin started falling the family managed to get in a safe place with a ship where they lived for some time. Due to everything happening they started treating the warframe very poorly, and he started acting weird due to the parts of other warframes influencing him. Eventually one day were the patriarch of the family started abusing him due breaking a thing while cleaning he snapped, killed him and flew the ship to an asteroid in the void, killing the family and him being trapped on the remnants of the ship

[adhdgays]

[Image Description: Collage titled "Sun Wukong Sunday 2024" containing media depicting Sun Wukong. Media includes:

2008 Olympics Monkey Movie, 21st Century Journey to the West, 300 Heroes, Ace of Arenas, Adventures from China: Monkey King, AFK Arena, Age of Mythology, American Born Chinese, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Arena of Valor, Awesomenauts, Black Myth: Wukong, Blades of Brim, Bloons Monkey City, Cards, the Universe and Everything, Cloud Master, Dark Matter Particle Explorer, DC “Monkey Prince” and “Monkey King,” Destiny of Thrones, Diablo III, Digimon, Dislyte, DotA 2, Dragon Ball, Dragon Power, Dungeon Boss, Dungeon Hunter Champions, Empire Warriors: Tower Defense, Enslaved: Odyssey to the West, Ether Saga Odyssey, Evertale, Fate/Grand Order, Final Fantasy “Zidane,” Final Fantasy XIV, Fire Ball (2005), For Honor, Fortnite, Free Fire, Genshin Impact, Girl Giant and the Monkey King, God Game, GO Titans, Heroes Arena, Heroes Evolved, Heroes of Newerth, Heroes of the Storm, Honor of Kings, Into the Badlands, Jackie Chan Adventures, Journey to the West, Kamihime Project, Kirby, Kung Fu Chaos, Kung Fu Monkey King, Kung Fu Panda: Paws of Destiny, League of Legends, League of Masters: Auto Chess, Legend of Ace, Legend of Wukong, Legends Summarized: The Monkey King, LEGO Brawls, LEGO Fortnite, Lo Scimmiotto, Lost Empire, Love, Hina, Magic Thousand Character, Marvel “Monkey King | Sun Wukong” and “Sun Wukong (Deity) | Monkey King,” Marvel vs Capcom 2, Mega Man: The Wily Wars, Megami Tensei, Michael and the Monkey King, Minecraft: Chinese Mythology Mash-Up, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, Mobile Legends, Monkey: Journey to the West, Monkey, Monkey Around, Monkey Goes West, Monkey King: Myth of the Skull, Monkey King, Monkey King, Monkey King and the Imps, Monkey King, Monkey King Idle: AFK RPG, Monkey King The Bottomless Hole, Monkey King The Legend Begins, Monkey King the One and Only, Monkey King Unparalleled, Monkey Magic, Monkey Magic, Monkey Twins, Monkey Typhoon, Monkey VS Er Lang Shen, Monkey with 72 Magic, Monster Land, Monster Legends Competitive, Monty the Magic Monkey, My Hero Academia, Myth: Monkey King, Nagurikomi Son Goku, Naruto, Nevermore-W: Idle Immortal RPG, New Pilgrims to the West, Ohabare Son Goku, One Piece, The Monkey Sun, The Tale of the True Monkey and the False Monkey, Ori and the Will of the Wisp, Oriental Legend, Osomatsu kun, Overwatch, Paragon, Pirate 101, Pocket Knights 2: Dragon Impact, Pokémon, Princess Iron Fan, Princess Iron Fan, Project X Zone,

Puzzles & Dragons, Rabbids: Party of Legends, RAID: Shadow Legends, RaiRai Gokuu, Ravenswatch, Return of Wukong, Revival of the Monkey King, RWBY, Saiyuki: Journey West, Saiyuki, Saiyuki, SD Gundam World Heroes, Sealed Demon Tower, Secret Journey, Seven Fights with Nine Tail Fox, Seven Fights with Nine Tail Fox, Seven Knights Idle Adventure, Shaceng Diary, Shen Yun Production of Journey to the West, Shinzo, Sid Meier's Civilization VI, Six Eared Macaque, SMITE, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonson, Spaceketeers, Spark: A Space Tail, Strange Tales From a Chinese Studio, Strife, Subway Surfers, Summoners War Sky Arena, Sun, Sun Wukong vs Robot, Super Monkey Returns, Tang Monk Love Story, Tears of No Regret, The Adventures of Sun Wukong, The Fallen Hero, The Fantastic Magic Baby, The Four Monkeys The Return of Sun Wukong, The Great Sage Heaven’s Equal, The Karma Saiyuki, The Librarians, The Magic Cudgel, The Magic Journey to the West 2: Conquering the Demons, The Monkey and the Banshee, The Monkey King, The Monkey King, The Monkey King, The Monkey King, The Monkey King Demon City, The Monkey King’s Daughter, The Needle of the Sea Goddess, The New Legends of Monkey, The Player, The Rising Sun Saga, The True Monkey King, The Year Of Rice And Salt, Till We Meet Again, Tokyo Afterschool Summoners, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, True and False Monkey King, Tsûzoku Saiyûki, Unmatched, Unruly Heroes, Warframe, War Song, West Adventure, West Tour Diary and Wukong Biography, Westward Journey Online II, Wu Cheng’En and Journey to the West, Wukong-Chinese & Math, Wukong Fight, Xin, The God of High School, Fly Superboard, New Journey to the West, Omniscient Reader, The Advanced Player of the Tutorial Tower, A Korean Odyssey, “Light of the Sun (Sun Wukong),” “Sun Wukong (Asian Trap Beat Mix),” “Sun Wukong (Battle),” “Sun Wukong (Monkey King),” “Sun Wukong Intro,” “Sun Wukong,” “Sun Wukong,” “Sun Wukong,” “Sun Wukong,” “Sun Wukong,” “Super,” “Sun Wu Kong,” Doraemon: The Record of Nobita's Parallel Visit to the West, Famicom Mukashibanashi: Yūyūki, Enoken no Son Goku: Zenpen, Carddass, Force of Will, Monster Strike, Lupin the Third Part II, Surprise, Unexpectedness, The Daily Life of the Immortal King, Ganso Saiyūki: Super Monkey Daibōken, The Legends of Changing Destiny, War Sovereign Soaring The Heavens, The Forbidden Kingdom, Great Sage, Marshal Tian Peng, Dream Journey, Journey to the West The Five Elements Mountains, Great God Monkey 1: Xiang Yao Pian, Great God Monkey, Saint, Journey to the West, A Chinese Odyssey, A Chinese Odyssey: Love of Eternity, A Chinese Odyssey, Journey to the West: The Supreme Treasure, Buddies in India, Havoc in Heaven, The Monkey King 1: Havoc In Heaven’s Palace, Heavenly Legend, Journey to the West Children’s Edition, Legend of Tian Peng, Yokai Watch, Battles with the Red Boy, The Monkey King Stormed the Sea Palace, Journey to the West, Adventures of Wukong, Wu Kong, Legend of Sun Wukong, LEGO Monkie Kid, A Chinese Tall Story, Journey to the West, Journey to the West, New Gods: Nezha Reborn, Smile Pretty Cure! The Movie: Big Mismatch in a Picture Book!, Dark Journey to the West: God of Destruction, Saiyuki, Warriors Orochi 2, InuYasha, White Dragon Horse, Monkey King Reincarnation, Cave of the Silken Web, Cave of the Silken Web, Taste of Love, Journey to the West: A Duel on the Faith, The Land of Many Perfumes, Journey to the West, Journey to the West, Journey to the West, Journey to the West Legends of the Monkey King, The Monkey King Reborn, Monkey King: Hero is Back, Monkey King Myth, Journey to the West Afterstory, Journey to the West Bi Qiu Kingdom, Journey to the West Demon’s Child, Journey to the West: The Legend of the Mermaid, Journey to the West 1: Conquering the Demons, Westward Journey Kungfu Monkey God and Demon Battle, Saiyukiden Dieno, Alakazam the Great, Journey to the West, Journey to the West, Monkey, Saiyuuki, Pigsy's Marriage, The Monkey King Quest For The Sutra, The Monkey King: The Five Fingers Group, Big Trouble in Dragon Palace, 19th century illustration of the Monkey King.

Under the cut includes sixteen screenshots of text documents detailing all of the media including Sun Wukong.]

Happy Sunday to The Most Guy In Anything!

[genkishoujo]

monetized gambling that you can sell to people legally has been a business strategy in free to play games for as long as i can remember, as far back as 2004 in Nexon mmorpgs that sold "Gachapons". i absolutely understand hating that mechanic and i do too, but the fact is that ZZZ, Star Rail, and Genshin Impact you can clear everything in those games by simply playing them. "free to play" is a real, viable option because the stupid gambling system they force you to use gives you enough currency to get enough characters and weapons from playing it, and the actual games themselves aren't hard. it's all exploration, writing, storytelling, character design, music, and fan engagement -- the gambling is a buildup of everything else so that you WANT to swipe, and you are making the ACTIVE DECISION to do so because you don't want to miss out/she's so cute/his animations are soooo cool/he does so many numbers/whatever. you don't actually NEED these characters to play these games, which is a huge departure from other games in the mobile industry such as Puzzle and Dragons, Fate: GO, Princess Connect RE:Dive, Cookie Run Kingdom, AFK Arena, Idolm@ster, Youkai Watch, pretty much any card-style JP gacha game or western mobile game requires you to have the newest (usually limited) characters or upgrades to progress past a certain point, the meta of the game is designed that way. many of these games incorporate social PvP/PvE competitive elements to create artificial barriers that further incentivize swiping on their own gambling systems so that you can compete/experience that content with your friends, or even lock paid currency farms behind these rotating meta game modes. while Star Rail/Genshin/ZZZ/WuWa/PGR have their own versions of this, it is absolutely treated as extraneous bonus content designed for people who have nothing left to do in the game, and offers scraps of rewards. Spiral Abyss gives you two pulls for fully clearing it (36 stars). Star Rail Memory of Chaos is clearable to a high degree using free characters, weapons, and grindable gear, and even if you clear it the rewards rotate on a monthly/bimonthly basis, so it's not exactly intended to be a source of income the way that PvP in Priconne/NIKKE affect your paid currency payouts every month. in Genshin, Star Rail, ZZZ (and even Kuro Games' games) you can pick it up, download it, and run through everything, even as a casual player who spends $0, but to the people with disposable income that are desperate for more content (or already have habits built from other games in the industry lol), they have the option to pay more to play slots for cute animated characters that, in the long run, won't have much bearing on whether or not you can actually experience everything. If you stick with these games, you will get enough characters and weapons to clear content, and even if you have to use 4 stars you can grind out the gear your characters wear to make them strong enough to handle just about anything. additionally, i just want to point out that Kuro and Hoyo both have extremely generous pities in these games. Even in Honkai Impact 3rd, the precursor to Star Rail, Hoyo implemented alot of these mechanics I mentioned above in order to force people into pulling for the newest characters and all their gacha weapons, but they had a pity system, which was not common in gachas originally. Puzzle and Dragons, one of the original JP mobile gachas, NEVER guaranteed you ANYTHING you pulled on until forced to by competition from other games. Arknights, Priconne, Fate: GO, and a whole slew of idol anime mobile games hesitantly implemented a 300 pull hard pity on certain banners after competition from other games, including Genshin, and backlash from the community.

these games all have predatory business models built on trying to get you to pull on their slot machines. but if you're gonna hate on the industry at least understand that the games are one thing, and the gambling simulator they wall their waifus behind is another.

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[princessofprocrastination]

Not Even Real (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST 

pairing : sapnap x reader

summary : everyone shipped them even from the start, but what they don’t know is that it’s all just a one sided love, and none of the relationship was ever real. (ANGST)

they think we live in a movie, that our love was created from the start, that it was written down on a piece of paper, that this was meant to be, that we’re lucky. 

but they’re wrong. they don’t know how hurt you are. they don’t see how unhappy you are behind the four walls of your room, when you’re away from them. 

they don’t know how hard you try to stop yourself from spewing out the truth. the truth he doesn’t want to let out. the truth that it was all for show. 

it started friendly, meeting each other from the love of playing minecraft. you met clay or more known as dream, first. you two became close on social media as you watched one of his first videos on youtube. 

the friendship was smooth sailing, and you thought your life couldn’t get any better. you then met george, but never made it to meet since you lived all away at texas. 

not long after that, you three became super close friends with nick, sapnap, it seemed so perfect, he was your age and he lived in texas, too. 

then you met the rest, like darryl, who’s known as badboyhalo. the five of you were inseparable, constantly playing minecraft, trying out new codes for your respective channels. 

none of you had met officially, in real life but nick and you agreed to meet since you lived really close to each other, anyways. 

it started as a friendly little diner “date.” when you two met, it wasn’t awkward, not even a little. you two would not shut up about minecraft or any other new games for you to play. 

and since you two also already had respective face reveals, you sent the groupchat a selfie of you two, showing them that you two had met each other, even before everyone else did. 

the rest of you did eventually meet, specifically in brighton. you all flew to england to meet them, you and nick getting plane tickets together and meeting at the airport on the day of departure. 

of course, as of many public figures, you get shipped with many people. 

it started of with dream, then george, thne wilbur, at some point because people saw how close you all were. of course soon enough, you and nick were bound to be shipped too. 

it was all an opinion, none of the ships died down, yet the ships just kept coming. you never thought it was annoying until you realize you fell for the one and only texan. 

you didn’t fall easily. in fact, you had only been in one other relationship, which had ended really badly that once you left highschool, you didn’t want to be tied down anymore. 

nick and you just seemed to be grower closer and closer together, so close that people started speculating something. 

of course, as a normal person, you had imagined what it would be like to date him, what it would be like to not be friends with him, but more.

and as a normal girl, before you sleep, you’d hope that he was deep in love with you just as much. 

but that wasn’t the case. 

nick saw the rumours, the ship comments. he wasn’t particularly bothered by them. and as of any big group, containing a girl, the girl was bound to be shipped with everyone. 

the boys had a separate group chat on discord. some things, they just didn’t want you to know. 

in there, nick was teased a lot, being the only one that was your age. 

he didn’t know why he thought about it, but he did. he questioned himself what would it be like to date you. 

no, not for real. he just thought about what it was like to fake date you and act like you two were a couple in front of your friends and your supporters. 

when he had told you the idea, you were shocked. thank god he called you normally, not on facetime, or else you would’ve made it so obvious that you loved him. 

your heart was beating out out your chest when he proposed the idea of dating.

but your heart sunk down to your stomach the moment he said that he wanted to prank people by fake dating. 

you never thought he would be that person. the person to break your heart. he probably doesn’t know it was hurting you anyway. but still, it hurt like shit. 

you two agreed that none of the other boys should know about it, and to only tell that that you two realized you liked each other and decided to date. 

since then, it was never the same. 

there were some pros and cons. well, more cons than pros, in your opinion.

sure, you’d get to act like you actually a couple in front of the camera and your friends, but that just made you feel worst. 

everyday, you heart just gets heavier at the weight of the truth on your shoulders. 

nick and yourself booked tickets to fly to england the second time, meeting an extended version of the dream team. 

you were excited to meet tommy and tubbo, along with the rest, of course. 

since all of you decide that it would be better to rent out an airbnb, everyone was staying in one house. lucky for you, niki was also there, which meant that you weren’t going to be the only girl. 

that also meant that you didn’t need to bunk in with nick, instead, you had to room with niki, which you happily agreed to. 

walking out the arrival hall with nick was hard, you had to suck it up and act happy for the sack of pranking your friends. 

nick had no clue that his proposal had been eating you up. he noticed that you were off but he just though you were having a bad day. 

when you all met at the airbnb, everyone was so welcoming and they left you and nick for a while to rest after the flight. 

during dinner was when it all went down. the questions spewed out like water. it never stopped. you would answer them but you’d leave nick to answer most, seeing that he made this up anyway. 

the night was terrible for you. to show the rest that you two were actually dating, you had to sit close to each other throughout the entire trip. you’d have to cuddle during movie night, sit by each other whenever you ate meals, hold each others hands.

you’d have to act happy in front of them, for the sake of nick. never in a million years, you thought that you had to sacrifice your happiness for someone you love. 

when you two flew back to texas, you tried your best not to say anything. you didn’t want to snap at him for no reason. you weren’t angry at him, how could you. you were just upset at how he’s doing so well acting it out. 

you were upset seeing this because this meant he didn’t even like you, yet love you. 

everyday, your mental health became worst. you couldn’t believe you’re even getting up to stream anymore. 

multiple times, you’ve asked yourself “why am i doing this? what was the point? what would be the consequence of just saying you didn’t want to do this anymore?” 

you knew once you said you wanted to leave this fake relationship that it would mean you’ll lose your friends, your only friends. 

as days go by, you didn’t even feel like picking up your phone anymore. you didn’t want to see the cute photos your friends took of you and nick. to which nick had told you to put as your wallpaper in order to make it more believable.

 the fans that saw your wallpaper on tommy’s vlog went crazy. they had see nick’s, too. a photo of you smiling. everyone thought it was adorable. and so did you, but you were more hurt than happy. 

you didn’t want to this anymore. you hated lying. to your fans, your friends. you hated how the truth weigh you down. you needed to tell someone.

since you and clay had been friends for so long, you knew that if you were to tell someone, that it would be him. 

so you called him that day. more specifically, you facetimed him. 

“hello?” he greeted me, but was confused on why i was calling him. 

“i just need to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone else for my sake.” you told him, starting to cry.

“oh my god, you’re crying.” he looked concern. 

you poured everything out that day. every single detail you could spew out, you did. 

the weight on your shoulder lessened, but not enough. you needed to get away from all the chaos. 

clay was surprised. he never thought that the relationship would be fake. he thought you two are fated together. 

maybe it was just the acting. clay was surprised when you cried on facetime. 

this meant that it was very serious. he told you that he would be there for you throughout this thing, and that you’ll figure it out soon. 

during minecraft manhunt, while george was afk and you all weren’t recording anymore, clay asked nick about you. 

“she’s amazing man, i see her everyday.” he says. clay can sense the smile as he says that. 

damn, he was a good actor. you and nick hadn’t met since coming home from brighton, and clay knew that. 

you called clay everyday since then, always updating him about things that are going on. 

to clay’s surprise, nick hadn’t even checked in on her since they arrived back in texas. 

sure, nick is clay’s bestfriend but this was unacceptable. clay cared about you so much. he hated to see you this broken. not when the texan boy had no clue that this was his doing. 

you didn’t get any better. worse, actually. 

clay was nervous. he was so worried. worried that you’d do something you regret. something you can’t take back. clay wished he could time travel and make it better from the start. 

you hadn’t streamed in so long. your excuse was that you had been sick. acceptable excuse. but not to clay, no. 

he needed to act fast before you do something drastic. 

the fans who were worried about you constantly asked nick about you. 

“she’s fine, just feeling under the weather.” he’d say. 

the more you stayed in texas, the more pain it brought you. you needed to leave. 

you were in too deep in the nest of feelings you made in your brain. you made it so you could forget nick. but every time you open your social media, there would always be questions about nick and you. 

you were sick of it, the constant pain in your chest that never rests. the tweets that you would see about your disappearance. 

you knew people were worried about you. but to you, the only one you cared to be worried about you was nick. and so far, he didn’t give two fucks about your whereabouts. 

that sucked. but you needed to let go. 

when you told clay this, he welcomed you to stay with him with open arms. so you got right into work and packed all your stuff to permanently live with him. 

nick. he didn’t know what he has doing. he didn’t understand why he didn’t just pick u his phone and send you a text, to make sure you were okay. he didn’t know all this was his fault. 

it sounded selfish, but he enjoyed the attention when he announced that you and him are dating. 

he never really sat down to think about you. to him, it was like a contract. 

platonic contract for content. for views. like a script. 

the day you were leaving for florida, he sat down on his bed just thinking about you. he couldn’t understand why he was, but he did. 

he thought about how weird this was. script or not, this seemed wrong. very wrong. he never thought about your feelings. he never prioritized your feelings or you in general. 

he felt bad. now that he thought about it, he hadn’t spoken to you since you came back from england. 

he picked up his phone to call you, to ask if you were okay. it didn’t go through. 

weird. 

then he thought about the time chat kept on asking him about you, asking him to go to her house and check on you. he always told his fans that you were okay and that he had already gone to check on you. 

but that was far from the truth. but no one knew that. 

he didn’t know that the reason why his call didn’t go through was because you were on a plane, leaving texas, leaving him. 

he sent you a text so that you could get back to you later. 

he didn’t know that you were writing a paragraph on your notes app. a paragraph to apologize to your fans. to nick’s fans. for lying to them all this while. 

you held in your tears as you sat in the plane to florida for 2 and a half hours. although you were sad to leave one of the people you love the most,  but you knew that to keep your mental health stable, you needed to leave him behind. 

you bought wifi on the plane so that you could text clay and the rest of the boys, plus niki. you couldn’t leave them hanging, there were the people who stayed with you through everything, the good and the bad. 

you texted them on discord and posted the note paragraph you saved and screenshotted. 

you let out a breath of relief once you posted and texted your friends. finally, the heavy weight is off your shoulders. 

you saw a text from nick. you knew you had to restrain yourself. you couldn’t go back to him. it would hurt you even more, even if he didn’t know it hurt you. 

you texted clay once you landed, making sure he knew which part of the arrival hall you’d be at. 

you walked out as the automatic glass doors open, seeing clay sitting on one of the benches. you smiled at him as he notices your arrival, pushing your trolley full of multiple bags you brought. 

clay ran up to you to give you a hug as you got closer. he hugged you tightly, to show you that he is here for you, always. 

“i am so proud of you. for being brave enough to leave your comfort zone, for willing to start fresh.” he whispers in your ear, still hugging you. 

you almost teared up. “come on, let’s go home.” he pushes your trolley, leading you to his car.

you were drained when you came back to clay’s house, now yours too. emotionally, and physically drained. 

although that wasn’t a long plane ride, the sleepless nights are finally catching up to you. 

you opened instagram, remembering the screenshot you posted a while ago on the plane. your phone almost glitched at the amount of people tagging you or commenting on your photos. some even dming you. 

you were overwhelmed with the amount of support your fans brought to you. they told you to take a break, to slowly settle in florida with clay, away from the public eye. 

you also read all your friends’ texts. they were fully supportive of your decision. although it sounded easy, they said they were proud of you for even thinking about leaving your hometown, let alone actually doing it. 

you even opened the texts from nick. it went from “hey, are you getting better?” to “what’s with your post on instagram”

you thought about texting him, to get a full closure. some people needed that. and him being one of your bestfriends, you cared about him immensely. 

the most recent text he sent, said “i understand why you did it, i’m sorry i acted like i didn’t care. i hope you know that i’ll be here for you, whenever you’re ready to talk to me again. please take care of yourself. i love you so much.” 

your heart skipped a beat when you read his text, especially when he said “i love you”. you had to tell yourself that he didn’t mean it that way, that he meant to say he loved you as a friend, not a lover. 

you looked back at the screenshot you posted, rereading it. 

it read. “hi guys. it’s been a while, and i’ve been aware. i’m not one to lie, and i feel immensely guilty for keeping you guys in the dark for this long. first of all, i haven’t been sick lately, not a normal flu, that’s for sure. my mental health has been on the all time low. this had been the lowest i have ever been in years since i became a public figure. secondly, i haven’t been fully truthful to you guys about my relationship. i would just like to say that nick is an amazing person. he has never hurt me, not intentionally. him and i decided that it would be a great idea to fake a relationship between the two of us. this was no one’s fault but my own, for agreeing to it. i have loved nick even from the start, till now. and although i knew that i had feelings for him, i still agreed. and that is no one’s fault but my own.” 

you scrolled down more to read the next half. “i had to live with a heavy weight on my shoulder for a couple months, thus me making this. you guys have been super supportive through thick and thin, so i felt guilty for lying to you for this long. and to clear things up, this does not mean i am leaving the dream team. in fact, i am moving in with dream! i hope you guys understand to what extent this has gone to and why i disappeared fr so long without explanation. i love you guys, forever and always. thank you for staying with me this long, i hope you stay. see you soon!” it finishes. 

you teared reading it all over again. you knew this was a bad idea, to read it again. 

been only a day but you really miss sapnap. it’s not easy to drop every thing in texas to move away from somewhere that you’ve called home. but this is your new home now. 

-

SAPNAP’S POV

i knew i should’ve texted her earlier, to check on her, to make sure she’s okay. 

i knew there was something wrong, i called it. but because of my stupidity, i wasted her love for me. 

and for what? content? it wasn’t worth it. 

now i’ve lost her. potentially forever. i don’t know how to get her back. not after what i did to her. not after what my ignorance did to her. 

i needed to get her back but i knew that this break waws good for her, this move was good for her. she deserved the break she has now. and i won’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk to me. 

i’ll be waiting, till she comes. 

[cramulus]

Forms of Discordian Belief

Discordianism can be hard to understand. Let’s clear up the confusion surrounding the various types of Discordia:

Discordian Monotheism: I believe in Eris, in the sense that she is a cosmic entity outside of me that I sometimes hang with. There is no Goddess but Eris and she is my Goddess. Discordian Polytheism: Eris is just one of several Gods I roll with. Discordian Atheism: I don't believe in Cosmic Superbeings. Eris is a metaphor who I think is cool. Discordian Agnosticism: I identify with the concept of Eris, but I don't think we can know whether Eris/Gods are real or not.

Discordian Situationism: Whether or not I behave in a manner consistent with a genuine belief in either the existence or metaphorical meaning of Eris depends on my current circumstances.

Discordian Gnostic Agnostic:  Eris?  WHO NEEDS HER?

Discordian Pantheism:  Eris is the Universe (we're all fucked.  Especially you).

Discordian Maltheism:  Eris is a real goddess, and boy, she really doesn't like you. Discordian Henotheism: Eris exists.  So do other gods.  But those other gods suck, I'm sticking with Eris. Discordian Apatheism:  I don't care if Eris exists or not. Discordian Deism:  Eris created the Universe, in order to confuse physicists, but has since retired and/or is involved in the creation of other Universes. Discordian Transtheism: Eris is something to surpass. 

Discordian Schizoism: Any of the above but ask me again after lunch if that answer isn't good enough. Discordian Nihilism: Eris exists, but only during the fertile months and exclusively on the banks of the river Nile.    

Discordian Implication: If there is a god, it's Eris

Discordian Ignosticism: Define God, please. If I'm happy with that definition, then I'll believe in Eris. If I'm not, then the whole question is meaningless.

Discordian Pantyism:  Only into Discordianism for the chicks and getting in their panties. Discordian Maltism: Finding Eris exists at the bottom of really good beers. Discordian Apothecarism: PILLS HERE

Discordian New Agism: Ya, ya... fairy wood spirits... whatever... Can I get laid now?

Discordian SubGeniusism: Eris is the only being that "Bob" acknowledges above and beyond himself, except when he doesn't. Which is probably more often than is strictly healthy. Discordian Discordianism: If anyone actually succeeded in practicing this, we'd probably be able to tell by the spontaneous formation of a quantum singularity inside their skull.

Discordian Scientology: Tell people how they have been living their lives wrong, win fabulous prizes.

Discordian Scientology II: Xenu brought billions of his people to earth in a spaceship shaped like a DC-8, piloted by Eris.

Quantum Discordianism: Fucks with yuor shit when you're not observing it.

Nondenominational Discordianism: Box next to the word "Other" Discospagism: Only in it for the asshatery.

Pentecostal Discordianism: You can handle deadly serpents and drink poison.  However, you will more than likely die from doing so and Eris will laugh at you. Calvinist Discordianism: You have slack because Eris elected you to have slack.  Greyfaces and cabbages are the unelect.  It's no coincidence that Calvinism has 5 points.

Methodist Discordian: We have all these rules but you don't really have to follow them. 

Really Real Discordianism: The details of this obnoxious faith are unknown to outsiders, but it is clear that for every Discordian there is at least one of these to tell them they're wrong.   

Raelli Rael Discordianism: This elite group of scientists know the truth about all of life's origins: extraterrestrials. Raelli Rael Discordians want you to know that not only do they look down on you for being against human cloning but so do the Elohim, from their shiny, silent spaceships.

Rlyeh real discordians: Not only are life's origins extraterrestrial but extradimensional and terrifying. One day the sleeping old ones will rise and the world of man shall come to an end, devoured in the fires of great cthulhu, MAY THE RATS EAT YOUR EYES, DAMN YOU BELIEVE ME, WE ARE INVADED .... Bzt..... (unintelligible).... 

Baptist Discordianism - Long, boring sermons followed by potluck supper.

Discordian absolutism:  Everything is Discordia, even those things that are not; all mortals must die with "Hail Eris" on their lips Discordian agapism:  Everyone loves Discordia, all love children are named Eris Discordian authotheism:  The belief that Discordia makes people Godlike or Eris incarnate Discordian capitalism:  you can privately own enough chaos to make an economy work; aka The Koch Brothers Doctrine Discordian bullionism:  belief that golden apples are the way solve all economic evils Discordian experientialism:  believing that the experiencing Discord brings you the knowledge you are well and truly fucked Discordian hedonism:  belief that pleasure in chaos is the highest good; i.e. The Joker Doctrine Discordiain ignorantism:  doctrine that ignorance of Discord is not only no excuse but also highly likely Discordian naturalism:  belief that the world can be explained through chaotic forces; i.e. Daddy tell me a bedtime story about Eris

Discordian Eroticism: Eris exists, and I want to do her.

Discordian Epicurianism: A philosophy that considers Slack to be the highest good and that advocates the pursuit of pleasures through chaos.

Pragmatic Discordianism: No matter how exclusive you make the invites, Lady Discord will always show up to your party in one form or another.  The pragmatic Discordian looks for ways to make the best of it (as opposed to pretending she doesn't exist or erecting "No Drama Permitted" signs.) Pessimistic Discordian: Everything is false, meaningless, or inconsistent in some sense. Optimistic Discordianism: Everything is false, meaningless, or inconsistent in some sense, especially Pessimistic Discordianism.

Discordian Gödelism: the belief that Discordian Gödelism is false.

Eris' Witnesses: Eris is throwing a giant party, the guest list is full. Her followers are required to go from door to door with this important message.

credit: Cramulus, Cainad, Doktor Howl, Cain, Faust, el Sjaako, Lenin McCarthy, Triple Zero, Thurnez Isa, Freeky, Precious Moments Zalgo, Iason Ouabache, Epimetheus, AFK, Jenne, Kingyak, Anna Mae Bollocks, Golden Applesauce, rong

[frostclawdragoon]

Early Access and Launch week survival guide: What to expect and prepare for

-----

Just a little list of what players can and should expect and prepare for when Shadowbringers goes into early access next week, followed by official launch shortly after, from someone who has survived many, many launch days for expansion packs.

In no particular order, here is a bundle of some helpful tips and reminders:

-Clean your inventory and retainers out: Do this and do this soon. New quests means new rewards and randomly obtained items dropped from monsters. If you do not have the bagspace now, you will definitely not have the bagspace when ShB drops! Don’t be caught with full bags!

-Turn off shout, yell and titles: Sometimes people want to avoid all things spoiler related, no matter how mild or vague the spoiler might be. So just to be safe, make sure you turn off Shout and Yell, and turn off Titles! Last time a spoiler title got through for the MSQ, it’s been changed since then, but just in case! This is a reminder to do that before servers go down for maintenance!

-Blacklist ShB stuff on social media: People are gonna wanna scream about spoilers on their social media, and it’s their right to do so! It’s their little corner of the internet! But to protect yourself, be sure to blacklist appropriately and, if you have to, temporarily avoid those who do not tag! You can always refollow after you’ve caught up! :D

-Get some IRL stuff done before launch: During the day servers are down for maintenance, get your house chores done! Do your laundry, clean those dishes, take all the trash out, buy some good quick snacks and tidy up your space. Make sure everything is clean, ready and set for extended periods of gameplay so you can play mostly uninterrupted. Bonus points if you prep throughout the week leading up!

-Take plenty of AFK breaks: Ensure to drink plenty of water, get plenty of sleep, shower and just take time away from the computer to walk (Please take care of family and pets too!). Don’t play the game without breaks. I know those queue times are gonna be rough, but playing without pause is really bad for your health, trust me. Look up Final Fantasy XI “Pandemonium Warden” and read about that 18 hour boss without breaks. Nasty stuff.

-Expect big queues upon logging in, especially during zero hour: No matter the data center you play on, expansion packs will bring a lot of new players and returning players. And people will likely server jump to avoid queues and fill up servers that are currently empty. Just have patience, make sure you have something to do while waiting(download a phone game or work on some art, ect), the queues will pass and things will settle. They always do. :]

-If we have the AFK campers like Stormblood: Calmly bring the issue up to the dev team on the forum so they can engage the daily server reset again. Though I’m sure they’ll be expecting it again, but just incase, don’t panic! We’ve survived this before. :D

-Expect the inevitable DDOS: Someone out there is going to see the FFXIV community excited for a good time and will want to ruin it, I’ve seen it happen with MMOs and any new online games (Even Overwatch got hit on launch day). If the servers start crashing a lot out of no where, assume it’s the DDOSers at their nonsense again and be patient, the dev team will be working around the clock to get servers up and stablized.

-Have a lil bit of patience and make alternate plans for in-game: Early Access and Launch week for any game is rough, so try to be patient. Queues will be long, servers will be shaky, DDOSing will be happening, loads of players will be fighting the same quest mobs, worlds will be clogged. Just be as patient as you can, things will smooth out gradually and all will be well. If you plan to do MSQ and its a chaos zone, make sure you have a fallback plan to do something else in-game while you wait for things to calm down!

-There will be bugs: Unfortunately that’s just how these things are. You’re probably going to hit a quest or a dungeon that will be bugged to heckity that the dev-team didn’t find in their testing, or it didn’t happen until the servers went live. Bugs are sneaky lil shits that will show up in the least expected of places, so be sure to report them and know that the dev team will be on it as fast as they can. Most importantly, be kind: The rush to end-game always gets pretty intense, especially with all the multitude of problems that come when the game launches. So be sure to be kind to one another, especially to our new players, who will be very confused and fumbling around trying to make sense of our crazy, content-packed game. ;w;

-----

If anyone else can think of anything more to add, please do!

[thepilgrimofwar]

Right of Blood

The Lord of the Emberglades gestured to his Steward to bring him the map of his realm. The Emberglades, the five provinces that were placed into his care. The five provinces that were now at the brink of civil war.

Stenden, fourteen summers of age, wiped the blood from his face with a trembling hand. A hundred thousand thoughts raced through him as his father unrolled the map across the dining table.

“Thank you father,” he said emptily, glad to focus his mind on borders, names, and houses. He welcomed anything that could keep the events of the day from his mind. It had been the first blood he had seen spilled from still-breathing men- Men who had come to take his life in a botched assassination attempt.

“The assassins bore the crest of House Illithia,” Solendis said to his wide-eyed son. Cold. Factual. “This was a power play. The image of your body paraded above the tabards of Westheath sounds like a message Aranias would send.” Though his tone had remained even, Solendis’ fists clenched in rage.

Stenden looked up at his father, then at his clenched fists. They were covered in blood from one of the assassins he had helped to dispatch earlier. It had stained the map he had helped roll out in splotches of crimson. 

“I want you to wash,” the boy said.

“To wash?”

“Your hands.” Stenden nodded. “Then I want you to write missives. That an attempt on my life has been made. Declaring a state of war between the Emberglades and House Illithia. Any who stands with them are hereby enemies of the realm.”

“We need to know who stands with them before making declarations like that-” Solendis protested. But his Lord silenced him with a trembling hand.

“We need to mobilize every garrison at our disposal regardless of who. The declaration of war ought to be sent first. We can sort out our enemies and allies later.” Stenden stated. His voice betraying a boy who was on the verge of cracking under the pressure. Barely keeping composure that his station required. “But most of all, we need you to play to your strengths: Opinion. We need the outrage of the people on our side. We need everyone to know the desecration of Uncle’s funeral. So- Have a wash. We cannot have you write these missives in anger.”

Solendis bit his bottom lip, held his tongue, and made his way out from the dining room. Grabbing a napkin to wipe the blood from his hands, he spied Lirelle by the doorway. Watching their exchange. Expressionless. Impossible for the great Spymaster Solendis to read. He nodded at her briefly, before making his way out into the courtyard.

“How long have you been there?” Asked Stenden, pretending to study the map in front of him.

“Long enough,” she unfolded her arms and stepped forward, her attire still spotless aside from the torn cloth, no longer having circulating blood to bleed was sometimes a boon. The skin underneath was pale and unmarred, like porcelain, the magic she loathed but made use of removing any trace, held in memory to be inflicted on a future foe instead. 

“You intend to declare war on Illithia? Are you aware of what that entails?”

“Sacrifices,” Stenden said, turning towards her. “Sacrifices of men that I will be ordering to die in my name. Sacrifices of men who will be ordered oppose them in the name of their Lords.” The boy swallowed hard.

“And who are these nameless men that you will be ordering to die for you? The forces of the Emberglades and the Black Banner were decimated during the Phoenix Wars. I saw them die, and followed them in death. Goodember cannot be relied on, and Wintergale is just as likely to ignore you as he is to help. Believing that you are ready to command men to sacrifice for you is pointless if you have no men to sacrifice.”

“Whoever will answer the call,” Stenden bowed his head. “Judereth Swiftquiver will answer and the militia of the Heartlands will follow their Banneret. As for the others...” He trailed off as his gaze returned to the map on the table. “I assume they are against us. My grandfather made sure of that.” The boy referred to Mereded Emberheart. The Tyrant. The man Sederis had tried so hard to emulate in the name of order. Who’s sins were now his to pay.

“I don’t stand a chance, do I?” He looked up at Lirelle. In his eyes were composure, that was true. But also fear. Wide-eyed fear.

It was hard to remember that he was barely fourteen summers old. He should have been playing with the other children in the dirt and fighting over meaningless games, not planning for a war of his ancestor’s making. She looked him in the eye, her scarlet gaze unwavering “No.”

“Not as you are. What happens next depends on how much you want you and your family to survive this. The Crows are on their way here. Even with their depleted numbers they are more valuable than anything Goodember can offer. Dawnveil will not help, my father will not risk sending any troops, not officially at least. Make use of what you do have. Outside are gathered some of the finest soldiers the realm has produced, and among them one of the daughters Wintergale. I know of a handful more who would answer if I asked for help. Even if they bring no levies of their own, their experience alone is worth more than that. They were here for Sederis, now ask them to help you.”

Stenden focused on her words, hanging on each syllable, letting the gravity of what she was saying seep into him. “Sederis. My uncle. I’ve been told by my father that one of his greatest weaknesses was that he was unable to ask for help.” He stood up from the table, “It’s time to do right by him.” 

But as Stenden turned towards the dining room exit, his mother appeared at the doorway. Haunted by a distant look in her eyes.

“Mother,” he said, snapping her back to the present. “You gave the order to kill the men, on their knees, in the courtyard.”

“I did,” she said, toneless. She wasn’t held back by the decorum of a subordinate like her husband was. She was his mother. That was the beginning and end of their relationship.

“Why? We needed to question them, hold them as bargaining chips for a future prisoner exchange-”

“You don’t know my father,” Relriah stated like a matter of fact and moved towards the table. She gave Lirelle a look as she passed her, a new found respect for the priestess.

“What don’t I know about my grandfather?” Stenden stood his ground.

“That he’d send men, willing to die for him without question. That wants nothing less than to burn Mereded’s legacy to the ground, even if it means murdering his last remaining child and his only grandson-” she looks Stenden in the eyes, with an intensity he had never witnessed from her before. 

“He cannot be bargained with. He cannot be reasoned with. You don’t know anything of my father because I’ve spent my life protecting you from him.” Relriah looked away, and pulled out a chair at the dining table, collapsing into it. “But it seems that it wasn’t enough.”

Stenden, unsure of how to respond, neither as Lord of the Emberglades or her son, made for the doorway. He nodded at Lirelle as he left, intending to do exactly as she had asked.

“I killed a man,” Relriah spoke up once her son had left the dining room, “My first man. Knife across his neck while Lady Highdawn cut him down. I keep asking myself ‘why is it I don’t feel remorse.’ The Orc, Bloodaxe said, that it was good that I didn’t. Highdawn told me that it was what it means to be Sin’dorei. But that didn’t give me answers.” She paused, looking at the pale woman. “Sederis- He told me long ago that he enjoyed it. You knew him. Better than most. Lived a life like he did. I was hoping you could enlighten me.”

Lirelle regarded her with the same neutral stare, picking her way over to pull out a chair opposite the lady of the house. “He used to say the only things that mattered on a battlefield were chaos and luck. Nothing else matters, how you were born, how much money you have in your pocket, who is waiting for you at home, none of it. I believe that it is much simpler. There is a certain clarity to life when everything rests in your own two hands. All you need is to be faster or better than the man in front of you who wants to kill you. We enjoyed that simplicity, but I always thought he would have been able to settle down, if he had the chance.”

“We tried once,” she said, in a tone that spoke of lost dreams and bygone times. “There was a violence in him that he could not tame at the time. I think by the time he had joined the Guard he had made his own peace with it. I was married to Solendis, and had Stenden by then. I believe that too- That he would’ve settled- Given the chance, and the right woman.”

“But I see the clarity you spoke of. Relying on yourself. The power to take life,” she glanced at the door, where Stenden had left. “The power to protect others. I can do something. As opposed to sitting on the sidelines, just watching, bearing with it all.”

"His father loomed over him long after the old man died. He's even managed to steal the childhood of his grandson too."

She said nothing else of what she knew of Sederis, the words unspoken but soaked in absolute truth left in the dark realm where they belonged. "Leave the fighting to the soldiers. Be there for Stenden. Their mother wasn't, but you can save him from that."

Relriah nods. “I hold no illusions. In the face of war, I’m just a woman. No training, no magic. But you’re right, unlike the previous lady of the house, I love my son too much to leave him behind like she did. I love him to death.” The lady of the house contemplates something, mulling it over in her mind. She looked determined- Something Lirelle had never seen in her before. “Perhaps I can still save my son, from the sins of both his grandfathers.”

-

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