#afab transgender

[mochakei]

[genderqueerdykes]

we're in this catch-22 of "it's totally okay to mock afab trans people because they're cringy and women-lite" and "we have to protect afab trans people because they are women-lite and soft and pathetic and defenseless." and it makes me want to scream my fucking head off i'm not even afab and i'm tired of the absolute clownery and torture folks put these people through. enough is enough, if folks aren't bending over backwards to find reasons to exclude amab queer people, they're finding every reason under the sun to mock, belittle, hate and infantilize afab trans people because of their refusal to let go of misogyny.

y'all treat ALL parts of the sex binary like shit and enough is enough you can't sit here and hate someone for their agab if you're in the queer community. regardless of your reason. there IS no good reason to hate or mock someone because of their agab. let go of the binary for the love of god and stop giving afab trans people shit because you can't let go of your misogyny and you think it's a-okay to bully them because they're women in your eyes. like cut it the fuck out this shit is transparent as day i'm sick of it.

if i as an intersex person have to step in to defend agabs that aren't even mine, y'all are failing each other tremendously. do better.

[spookietrex]

Ngl I stole this from Facebook but I love this.

[ruthimages]

[clowncaraz]

if we all drop these terms maybe we'll understand the uniqueness of bodies

[wolfsteax]

[intersexability]

Here’s your friendly reminder that AFAB and AMAB are meaningless and obsolete terms!

[ego-sum-ex-altiora]

As an afab enby person, I’m tired of the reactions I get to growing my hair out. No I’m not detransitioning, and no I’m not “embracing my femininity”. I’m growing my hair out to be more like Jonathan Sims. Nothing else.

[lesbi-am]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ALL OF YOU. this includes the transtrenders, and the xenogender people, even, especially, if you hoard labels and have 70 different neopronouns you use, and mspec lesbians and mspec gays, and the lesboys, the gaybians, and the turigirls, and the afab transfems and amab transmascs, yes even the perisex ones, and the aros and aces and apls and other atertiaries who are disgusted and loveless, and the alloaros who are very positive with sexuality, and the cishet aro/ace/etc men and women, and the intersex people who have consistently been ignored by the wider and broader queer community for having complicated experiences with gender and sexuality, and the transmasculine people and the trans men who have to deal with being told that oppression against them doesn't exist, and the transfeminine people and trans women who are told their existence is inherently sexual, and the transneutral people who are always forgotten about in conversations and treated as less trans, and the transhet people who are told they're not queer enough, the queer poc who are constantly ignored and pushed down for their existence, and the queer elders who have to hear younger queers demonize decades old identities in the name of discourse, and everyone else i didn't mention. you deserve to have a good pride month too.

exclusionists, transmedicalists and similar who clown on this post will be publicly shamed. <3

[hiiragi7]

I've been seeing quite a lot of discourse lately defining transness as "identifying as a gender opposite to/different from what society expects you to be".

This is incredibly vague, and I feel misses that, for many people like me, there is not exactly a clear gender in which society expects us to be, nevermind a clear "opposite" or "different" gender which we can identify with. Many intersex people have experiences in which one person calls us a "failed male" while another calls us a "DSD female". Many of us have been assigned, reassigned, degendered, reassigned again. In this sense, for many intersex people, it would appear that no matter which gender we are we would fall under this definition of trans if we so choose it; society so often does not expect us to conform to a singular gender, rather they expect us not to exist at all. Even for many intersex people who identify as cisgender, their gender and sex are constantly brought into question and suspected of being inauthentic, an imposter of a different gender/sex "pretending" to be cisgender. In this sense, any gender we choose is "opposite" of expectations, even cisgender identities, because we are intersex.

And yet, the discourse I have been seeing lately has been attempting to sort intersex people into easily digestible and simplified boxes based on AGAB ("AFAB intersex" and "AMAB intersex") and trying to claim what kind of intersex person is allowed to call themselves transfem based on their AGAB, as though this event at birth always determines what gendered expectations are set for you and where you can transition to after.

Which of my gender assignments should I refer to as my "assigned gender"? The choice made by the medical professionals at my birth? The choices made by my parents? At which time? By which parent? And why does it matter to people so much that I have an assigned gender to refer to when it's all so messy anyway? Why must I invent convenient acronyms to describe it to you for your judgement? Why is it not enough simply to say I know my own experiences and identity best and that it's none of your business? Why are you trying to decide for me what I should call myself?

All this to say, I wish people would stop making assumptions about and policing other people's identities. I will readily admit I don't always understand an identity, and this is a good thing; it means there is an infinite variety of us and an infinite amount to learn about each other.

I wrote this post with the recent intersex transfem & afab transfem discourse in mind, but it quite honestly applies to a lot of the very exclusionary and rigid attitudes I've seen in our community lately. Once again, why are we using the actions of oppression (for example, the action of nonconsensual gender assignments; AGAB) to define our trans identities, to the point of excluding each other within our own community? How are we helping each other in doing this?

(I do have similar questions regarding the divide in language between "AFAB transfem" and simply "transfem" - Why specifically the label of "AFAB transfem" rather than just "transfem", if the argument is that AGAB does not determine gender? Personally, I would like to move away from AGAB language altogether.)

I've never had a clear gender to transition from; I only hope that in the future the community will support people like me in using whatever language we find best to describe the gender we are transitioning to.

Trans is a word open to anyone who identifies as such. That's the best part of it.

[mochakei]

i love taller men(i’m 5’3)

[uncanny-tranny]

I don't care if somebody was "born a man" or "born a woman"

We were fucking born as babies, I frankly don't care what you were "born to be," so long as you are happy in the here and now. That's what matters more, not this bioessentialist "you're born this way, and nothing you do or say matters more than how you were born"

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Today’s debate: do I hate my hips because of gender dysphoria or because of the whole “hips = can have children = sex??” Thing?

[underthevveather]

Nonbinary as in, "I was raised with gender, but now I'm pretty much just agnostic."

[lgbtqtext]

[that-bisexual]

so I have a collection of tips as an afab genderfluid person. These tips will work for not only genderfluid people but afab transmascs and transnuetrals. Im closeted so there will be many closeted tips

If you cant get a binder you can bind by taking the pads out of two sports bras. Put one sports bra on normally and the other one on backwards. If you don’t take the pads out it won’t work! Even though this isn’t a real binder make sure to take breaks every 8 hours.

Button up shirts will help with passing as a guy. Especially if you unbutton it a little. (they also just make you look queer)

sitting with legs crossed and knees together look work feminine while taking up space and keeping your legs wide will look masculine

if you want to look androgynous adding feminine and masculine elements to your outfits will help

BAGGY SHIRTS

Getting platform shoes or boots will help with height dysphoria

i like to put the top layers of my hair in a messy bun when trying to be masc. make sure the bun isn’t at the top of your head but at the middle

if trying to pass as a guy don't dwell too much on your appearance in public. (like don't fix your hair as much, try and make shirts lay perfect, etc.) trust me it helps

cut your nails shorter

If you workout look up a workout for trans or nonbinary people. It will really help

If you are out of the closet and someone misgenders you don’t get all defensive. If you’re trying to pass as cis then play it cool and make a joke about it. If you are nonbinary or genderqueer in some way confidently state your gender. Confidence will help

experiment with your gender representation and see what works for you

dont be afraid to be proud of who you are like I said confidence is key! Hope this helps!! <3