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dandelionsresilience · 4 months ago

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Good News - July 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735! (Or check out my new(ly repurposed) Patreon!)

1. Thai tiger numbers swell as prey populations stabilize in western forests

“The tiger population density in a series of protected areas in western Thailand has more than doubled over the past two decades, according to new survey data. […] The most recent year of surveys, which concluded in November 2023, photographed 94 individual tigers, up from 75 individuals in the previous year, and from fewer than 40 in 2007. […] A total of 291 individual tigers older than 1 year were recorded, as well as 67 cubs younger than 1 year.”

2. Work starts to rewild former cattle farm

“Ecologists have started work to turn a former livestock farm into a nature reserve [… which] will become a "mosaic of habitats" for insects, birds and mammals. [… R]ewilding farmland could benefit food security locally by encouraging pollinators, improving soil health and soaking up flood water. [… “N]ature restoration doesn't preclude food production. We want to address [food security] by using nature-based solutions."”

3. Harnessing ‘invisible forests in plain view’ to reforest the world

“[… T]he degraded land contained numerous such stumps with intact root systems capable of regenerating themselves, plus millions of tree seeds hidden in the soil, which farmers could simply encourage to grow and reforest the landscape[….] Today, the technique of letting trees resprout and protecting their growth from livestock and wildlife [… has] massive potential to help tackle biodiversity loss and food insecurity through resilient agroforestry systems. [… The UN’s] reported solution includes investing in land restoration, “nature-positive” food production, and rewilding, which could return between $7 and $30 for every dollar spent.”

4. California bars school districts from outing LGBTQ+ kids to their parents

“Gov. Gavin Newsom signed the SAFETY Act today – a bill that prohibits the forced outing of transgender and gay students, making California the first state to explicitly prohibit school districts from doing so. […] Matt Adams, a head of department at a West London state school, told PinkNews at the time: “Teachers and schools do not have all the information about every child’s home environment and instead of supporting a pupil to be themselves in school, we could be putting them at risk of harm.””

5. 85% of new electricity built in 2023 came from renewables

“Electricity supplied by renewables, like hydropower, solar, and wind, has increased gradually over the past few decades — but rapidly in recent years. [… C]lean energy now makes up around 43 percent of global electricity capacity. In terms of generation — the actual power produced by energy sources — renewables were responsible for 30 percent of electricity production last year. […] Along with the rise of renewable sources has come a slowdown in construction of non-renewable power plants as well as a move to decommission more fossil fuel facilities.”

6. Deadly cobra bites to "drastically reduce" as scientists discover new antivenom

“After successful human trials, the snake venom antidote could be rolled out relatively quickly to become a "cheap, safe and effective drug for treating cobra bites" and saving lives around the globe, say scientists. Scientists have found that a commonly used blood thinner known as heparin can be repurposed as an inexpensive antidote for cobra venom. […] Using CRISPR gene-editing technology […] they successfully repurposed heparin, proving that the common blood thinner can stop the necrosis caused by cobra bites.”

7. FruitFlow: a new citizen science initiative unlocks orchard secrets

“"FruitWatch" has significantly refined phenological models by integrating extensive citizen-sourced data, which spans a wider geographical area than traditional methods. These enhanced models offer growers precise, location-specific predictions, essential for optimizing agricultural planning and interventions. […] By improving the accuracy of phenological models, farmers can better align their operations with natural biological cycles, enhancing both yield and quality.”

8. July 4th Means Freedom for Humpback Whale Near Valdez, Alaska

“The NOAA Fisheries Alaska Marine Mammal Stranding Hotline received numerous reports late afternoon on July 3. A young humpback whale was entangled in the middle of the Port of Valdez[….] “The success of this mission was due to the support of the community, as they were the foundation of the effort,” said Moran. [… Members of the community] were able to fill the critical role of acting as first responders to a marine mammal emergency. “Calling in these reports is extremely valuable as it allows us to respond when safe and appropriate, and also helps us gain information on various threats affecting the animals,” said Lyman.”

9. Elephants Receive First of Its Kind Vaccine

“Elephant endotheliotropic herpesvirus is the leading cause of death for Asian elephants (Elephas maximus) born in facilities in North America and also causes calf deaths in the wild in Asia. A 40-year-old female received the new mRNA vaccine, which is expected to help the animal boost immunity[….]”

10. Conservation partners and Indigenous communities working together to restore forests in Guatemala

“The K’iche have successfully managed their natural resources for centuries using their traditional governing body and ancestral knowledge. As a result, Totonicapán is home to Guatemala’s largest remaining stand of conifer forest. […] EcoLogic has spearheaded a large-scale forest restoration project at Totonicapán, where 13 greenhouses now hold about 16,000 plants apiece, including native cypresses, pines, firs, and alders. […] The process begins each November when community members gather seeds. These seeds then go into planters that include upcycled coconut fibers and mycorrhizal fungi, which help kickstart fertilization. When the plantings reach about 12 inches, they’re ready for distribution.”

July 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

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still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year ago

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Trembling like a little wet idiot again because BECAUSE

Eve was tempted to take a bite from the apple. The Original Sin! It separated her and Adam from God. They were banished from Eden, they had to leave God's Safe Garden, and, for better or for worse, had to venture out into the broader outside world

Diavolo planted a fucking apple orchard for Lucifer while Lucifer was still an angel, just because Lucifer offhandedly mentioned liking apples. It was a gesture that was probably one of the stepping stones towards their budding friendship and towards Lucifer questioning the celestial realm and his father, towards Lucifer's growing anger. One of the many* contributing factors towards Lucifer starting a war against the Celestial Realm that would eventually get him and his brothers banished, that would force them to leave their Father's Safe Realm, and, for better or for worse, venture out into the broader outside world. That would cast them into officially becoming Sins.

And Nightbringer has so much apple symbolism relating to Lucifer, that it's on the fucking title screen itself** and up until the present moment Lucifer's favourite food is Poison Apples (it's not even on the nose anymore, it's just straight up a punch to the face)

Diavolo may not have meant for it to be as such, Diavolo 100% only did it because he was starry eyed over Lucifer from day 1, but at the end of the day a Temptation is a Temptation and he held out the Apple and Lucifer took a bite

*the main reason was obviously Lilith, which y'know you could kinda lowkey parallel with some of the stories about og! Lilith's part in the whole apple/eden thing

**and it's explicitly stated that the type of apples Diavolo grows are a deep, vibrant red as opposed to Celestial Realm apples which are all gold & shining:

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adverbally · 2 months ago

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Keep Me Coming Back for More

———

The Apple Orchard Inn is a quaint bed and breakfast, nestled in the mountains to give its guests a breathtaking view of four acres of fruit trees across the valley. Not just apples, but pears and cherries, ready to be picked by adventurous visitors or to be made into jams and preserves and all manner of delicious baked goods for people to buy at the reception desk.

As the less outdoorsy of the two of them, Eddie had been skeptical of Steve’s chosen locale from the start. “That’s the only activity they have? Wandering around and providing free labor for the orchard?” he had complained. “And we’re supposed to drag that into a three-night stay?”

Steve hadn’t taken it personally, knowing Eddie would see the beauty of the inn and be forced to eat his words. He was right, as usual— Eddie had stood in front of their private cottage, complete with a porch swing and a great view of the trout pond up by the main house, and immediately been struck dumb.

Now, on their last night, Eddie stands on the back porch overlooking the valley and breathes in the fresh, fragrant air. He doesn’t want to leave. He already misses the quiet trickle of the stream that runs behind their cottage, the sweet smell of fresh fruit, the sight of Steve wrapped in one of Eddie’s flannels with his face turned up into the mid-autumn sunshine. Even the hike around the orchards, which Eddie had suffered for Steve’s sake, was now a fond memory of their anniversary trip. Three days of peace with the man he loves more than life itself, laughing and kissing and pressing together like they can’t get close enough.

“Hey,” Steve greets, stepping out the backdoor with a fluffy green bathrobe over his favorite flannel pajamas. He’s carrying two steaming mugs of tea, a delicious cinnamon blend made here at the inn, and his hair is still dripping and fogging up his glasses with the residual warmth from the shower.

Eddie accepts the mug he’s given and pulls Steve closer with an arm around his waist. They lean against the porch railing and soak in the sight of the stars. They’re bright out here, tucked away in the mountains far from the nearest city, lighting up the valley with their glow.

“You did really good with this one,” Eddie murmurs. “Sorry I was such a dick about it.”

Steve chuckles. “I knew you’d come around as soon as you saw it. The porch swing alone—”

“I’m building a porch swing for our house as soon as we get back,” he enthuses. “It’s gonna be awesome.”

They fall back into comfortable silence, listening to the flower bushes rustling in the breeze and the laughter of a couple walking up the pathway to their own cottage.

“Ten years,” Steve sighs into his mug. “Hard to believe we’ve been together so long.”

“Our relationship is almost old enough to go to middle school,” Eddie jokes, even as he catches Steve’s hand on the railing and laces their fingers together. Turning serious, he admits, “I don’t think I could’ve imagined being in a relationship this long before I met you. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have thought I’d be alive this long.”

Steve shivers, more at the reminder of Eddie’s mortality than the evening chill. “I thought I’d, you know, be married with kids and all that by now. But then I wouldn’t have you, so I’m glad that didn’t work out.” His smile is small and crooked as he holds out his mug in a toast. “Here’s to ten more years of you ruining all my plans.”

“To ten more years of you doing all the planning for both of us!” Eddie declares, clinking their mugs together.

Before Steve can take a sip, Eddie pulls him in for a long, tender kiss. He feels Steve fumble to sit his mug on the ledge of the railing, freeing his hands to cradle Eddie’s cheeks. They’ve had their share of kisses over the past few days, from quick pecks beneath the apple trees to filthy exchanges of spit preceding a good hard fuck, but this is the one that makes Eddie’s knees weak. Steve tastes like spiced tea and a hint of toothpaste, and his body is a solid line of warmth pressed up against Eddie’s, and he’s taking his time to explore Eddie’s mouth like he hasn’t already done it millions of times over the past decade. It’s kind of blowing Eddie’s mind.

Breaking away with a gasp, Eddie is a little hoarse when he suggests, “How about we go defile another set of sheets?”

“Are you trying to get us banned for life?” Steve’s grin betrays his eagerness.

“I’ll hand wash them myself in the tub before we leave tomorrow, scout’s honor. Housekeeping never has to know.”

“Smart and good at laundry? I knew I kept you around for something,” Steve teases, leaning in for another kiss.

Eddie mumbles against his lips, “Don’t forget my massive dick.”

Steve’s delighted cackle echoes through the valley, but it’s for Eddie’s ears only when he whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Happy anniversary, baby.”

#steddiespooktober #steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve/eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #mine

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cosmonadarovicarts · 10 months ago

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Theory: Carmilla would be Eve?

Among so many crazy theories (and I love it!) after this season, I'm going to bring my (crazy) theory. As the title already reveals, what if Carmilla Carmine was our missing Eve? Before you throw hate, here are some points:

-In some versions of the myth of the creation of Adam and Eve, Eve was condemned to hell (while Adam went to heaven). If the series goes down this path, the character wouldn't be in heaven;

-Carmilla's name: Originated from Hebrew culture. Carmila/Carmela/Carmilla/Carmile means garden, orchard. Well... I don't think it would be too much of a coincidence for the name to mean that (garden... Garden of Eden...).

-Eve was created from Adam's rib. Here I come up with the theory that the exorcist angels guided by Adam (including Vaggie) were created from his ribs (like Eve). This would explain the similarity in appearance of Vaggie, Lute and Carmilla.

--Carmilla's personality: she is super protective! The super mom of the series (so far). It is to be expected that Adam's second wife, mother of humanity, would be maternal./ "but she was presented as the mother of only two characters" man, she still seemed super worried about the day of extermination (she called a meeting with the Overlords precisely to think of ways to stop this), after all, the sinners were their descendants! (I'm not going to talk here about Adam's relationship with sinners, that would be worth another post) And, the same time, the exorcists would be like her sisters who she was reluctant to kill. I would also like to add here, I think Zestial could be Cain (one of his main sons and, precisely, the first sinner, as he killed his other brother Abel), this would explain the affection that Carmilla has for Zestial and for them both being the oldest Overlords! (Cain died before Eve in many versions of the myth) /Sure, they might just be good friends, but to me it made a lot of sense, my bad

-Her appearance: I've already commented on her resemblance to Vaggie (the two even duet two songs, expressing similar feelings), but now let's compare her appearance with her hair down with Eve's silhouette in the first episode (just look at the image I posted here) , it's identical! And of course, the second wife would have to be beautiful, and Carmilla is said to be beautiful.

--"ok but it is much more likely that she was one of the exorcist angels, taking into account her appearance and knowledge, why would Eve have an appearance similar to these angels?" Precisely because they came/were born from the same place, Adam's ribs! When Eve died, her demonic form still assumed that of a beautiful woman with large hands (representing her need to be able to hold, care for and hug everyone). Maybe Adam knew or didn't know how Eve was doing, and made his female army similar to his ex-wife (For me, this part would have several possibilities, like, him purposely making the appearance of the exorcists or it would just be because they were all born from the same place)

-In the final episode, when the news reports about what happened at the Hotel, the reactions of several characters appear, and there was one (emphasis?) in Carmilla's reaction to Adam's death (I imagine that, because she was against the extermination of sinners (her descendants) while her ex-husband, who lived in heaven, led this extermination, she should not have good feelings towards him).

Final note: Even if she is not Eve, probably she was one of the exorcist angels (as many already theorize), as she knew about the angelic weapons, knew of Vaggie's identity and her appearance.

(Sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors, English is not my native language)

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plussizefantasia · 1 month ago

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CozyTober Day 8: Apple Cider Donuts

Dad!Steve Rogers x Mom!reader

This is a continuation of Pumpkin Patch from last year's Flufftober Event

WC: 1.3k

warnings: none, just pure sweetness

an: we're all going to collectively agree not to mention the fact that I'm like a week behind in posting these, but I'm actively caffeinated and on a roll so we'll see how long that stays true

Your family didn’t have a whole lot of traditions growing up, and Steve’s mom tried her best but it was hard balancing work and a sick son, especially during the depression. That just meant that the traditions you made with Caleb were just that much more special.

Last year the three of you made the trip to Henderson Orchard for their fall activities. You had spent the whole day watching your son have fun and fawning over your husband and how amazing of a father he is. You carved up your pumpkins and thus began a new family tradition.

Caleb is six now and despite the fact that he is adamant that he is a ‘big boy’ now, he’s still your little man and you still want to take him out for a fun day together. Finally, the weather cooled down enough that it felt “fall-ish” enough to make the trip.

You made French toast for breakfast with some chopped strawberries and vanilla yogurt and waited patiently for your boys to wake up and amble their way downstairs. Steve used to be an early riser, years of military service and the need for a strict regime made his internal clock kickstart hours before your own. A life of domesticity had dulled that clock and now it wasn’t as rare for you to wake up before your husband.

Steve was the first of your boys to join you in the kitchen though, taking the mug of coffee from your outstretched hand and placing a kiss on your shoulder as he passed you.

“You made breakfast?” He asked.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” you chuckled at him.

Steve and you enjoyed a few quiet moments together. Both of you are silent, merely enjoying each other's presence. There was a time when you would have tried to fill the silence but after ten years together small talk just didn’t feel needed anymore.

Your peace is disrupted by the thuds of tiny feet from above you, followed by a creaking door and then even faster thuds down the stairs.

Caleb turned the corner and ran into the kitchen.

“Mom, Dad! I woke up in my room and wanted to tell you about my dream so I ran to your room but you weren’t there which was sad, but then I smelled breakfast so I thought you would be in the kitchen so I ran downstairs and then I found you.” He rushed out in one breath.

“I’m glad you found us, buddy. Do you still want to tell us about your dream?”

“Yes!” He yelled, “I-” He paused, “I forgot it.” He shrugged and plopped down on the stool next to Steve.

Steve ruffled his hair and placed a plate in front of him. Caleb wasted no time digging into his breakfast and like his father, demolished the food within minutes.

Soon the three of you were packed into your car and on your way to the Orchard for some fall family fun.

Caleb spent the entire drive there regaling Steve and yourself all about what his new friend Archie and he get up to on the playground. He told you all about how Archie wasn’t very good at running games or climbing games or games with balls but that he was super funny and “Soooo smart mommy, like smarter than Uncle Tony.”

As soon as the orchard was in view though, Caleb quickly switched gears, “What are we gonna do this time Dad? Will there be goats like last year? What about the corn pit? The corn pit was fun, though I got corn in my shoe. Are we getting pumpkins again? Are we getting apples? Can we get both? I don’t know how we’ll carry both though. Maybe Daddy and I can take them to the car so we don’t have to carry them. Can I help you carry the apples and pumpkins to the car Dad?” If there was one thing you don’t think you’d ever get tired of, it’s the energy your little boy has. His curiosity knows no bounds and it’s something that Steve and you are doing your best to foster in him.

“Why don’t we look around a little first before making too many plans, okay bud?” Steve said to reel Caleb in and more importantly, to get him to breathe.

The three of you take a lap around the place, looking at all there is to do and making a game plan for the rest of the day. Caleb and Steve have fun in the Corn pits once again, you help Caleb pet the cows in the barn and all three of you once again pick perfect pumpkins. This year you also check out the apple orchard on the far side of the property and get a large bag on honeycrisps, both to eat and bake with.

While you were over there you noticed a small white cabin-like building with smoke coming out the chimney and other people trailing in and out. You pat Steve on his shoulder and nod your head in the direction of the building.

“Why don’t you boys take the apples back to the car while I check this place out and then we can meet back at the tables near the corn maze to check in?”

“Okay, Mommy,” Caleb yells before giving your leg the quickest hug in the world and then grabbing his father’s hand and pulling him off in another direction.

You chuckle and head towards the building.

When you get inside you’re met with a woosh of warm air and a spectacular smell. Looking around you see this place is absolutely full of all kinds of baked goods stacked on tables, along with a bustling kitchen team behind the counter kneading, icing, and plating all kinds of amazing culinary creations.

You smile to yourself and step towards the counter, wanting to get a nice treat for your boys.

When you got into view of the tables you had told the boys to meet you at, they were already sitting there and your heart melted a little bit at the sight you witnessed. Caleb sat next to Steve on the bench, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder and Steve’s arm wrapped around Caleb’s back.

You felt a smile spread across your face and you quickened your pace to get to your little family quicker.

“Well, aren’t you two just the sweetest?” You asked as soon as you were within hearing distance, both of their head’s perked up and they landed their eyes on you immediately.

“We don’t have anything on you, Doll.” Steve winked at you and you took a seat across from them.

“You wanna know what else is sweet?” You lifted an eyebrow and looked at Caleb.

“Cotten Candy.” He replied matter-of-factly.

“That is true but I was thinking something a little more substantial.” You laughed and placed the boat of apple cider donuts on the table.

“Donuts!” Caleb yelled and began to practically vibrate in his seat.

“Go ahead, buddy.” Steve looked down at him and nodded his head towards the sweet treat, holding back a laugh when Caleb launched himself at the sugar-covered rings.

The three of you talk and share your treat until they are all gone and when Caleb wobbles his lip and bats his eyelashes at Steve, you all walk back towards the bakery and get more.

Caleb holds his donuts in front of him and walks slightly ahead of Steve and you, the three of you making your way back towards the main thoroughfare.

“So, are we keeping this tradition?” You bump your hip against Steve’s and look up at him when you ask.

He chuckles and pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulder. His gaze stays locked on Caleb while the little boy ventures forward. “Yeah Hon, this one is for keeps.”

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x you #dad!steve rogers #mom!reader #marvel fanfiction #cozytober2024 #plus size reader #plus size!reader #fanfic #x reader #fluff #requests open #requests wanted

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dancingtotuyo · 9 months ago

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8. a cry of my heart to see

Woman | Joel Miller X Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Tragedy strikes Jackson

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: blood, medical care (probably bad I'm not a doctor tried to keep it brief and vague), Character Death, loss, grief, funeral, smut, P I V, cream pie, Oral sex (F receiving)

Notes: Shout out to my girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for the beta read!

If you have checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3273

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT AND IS INTENDED FOR READERS 18 YEARS AND OLDER. MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT OR READ.

One Year Later

He’s been out on patrol for days. They’re widening the perimeter and he’s on the initial team to do so. It’s nerve-wracking. You’re losing sleep.

Maria tries to assure you they’re fine. No news is good news, but it falls on deaf ears. Her husband isn’t out there in unexplored areas. Joel is. Tommy tries to hide his worry. Despite both their assurances, you know they’re concerned. It’s risky.

For the most part, life goes on. Ellie has been staying in your guest room since Joel left. You thought she would look forward to having the house to herself, not that Joel doesn’t already spend the majority of nights at your house. You wonder if she fears the same thing you do.

They’re supposed to be back in a week, but day 8 passes without sign of them.

On the ninth day, one of the gate watchmen barrels into the clinic, causing you to knock over an entire bin of instruments you had just boiled. His eyes are wide, skin pale causing your stomach to drop.

“What is it?”

“We just spotted them about a mile out. They’re down a rider. Another looks pretty banged up, can barely sit up in the saddle.”

"Who?” You fight the urge to vomit.

“We don’t know.”

“Go get Pooley.” The panic is setting in. You can’t do this. You can’t go into concerned girlfriend mode. Is that what you are? It doesn’t sound quite right. No, you need to be the medical professional you were taught to be. Calm, cool, collected like the professional you were on the UT Trauma team.

The man nods, rushing out of the clinic. You look around, pulling out everything you might need for easy access. You don’t know if he was mulled or shot or something else. This is hardly the first time something like this happened, but it’s the first time you haven’t been able to focus.

It’s silly in hindsight, but you never worried quite like this over Gabe. He always promised to come back. He seemed so confident that he would that you’d bought into his confidence, and he always did until he didn’t.

Once you’re convinced you’re set up enough to take care of the incoming injured, your feet carry you out toward the gate. It’s beautiful out today. The sun shines. Birds chirp and bees buzz. The kids play tag in the apple orchard, but it all feels like a bad dream like the world is moving in slow motion. There’s a ringing in your ears.

The gate is just opening as the group draws closer. A small crowd has already formed, mostly the families of those sent out. You’re too far away to see out of the gate so you have to wait for them to file in.

The first rider comes in. It’s not Joel. You can feel your grip on reality fading. You’re trying to stay. You have a job to do. Maria appears next to you as the second rider crosses in. She tugs you closer to the chaos, through the families waiting with bated breath. Two more. Not Joel. She brings you next to Dr. Pooley who waits ready to spring into action. People make room around you so you can tend to the injured as soon as they come in.

Another pair cross into safety. John Lacy holds the reins of Adam Perkin’s horse as Adam hunches over in the saddle looking closer to death than life. John has them next to you within seconds, spewing the story of his injury to you and the doctor. You can’t pay attention, going on your tiptoes to catch sight of the last rider, but the horses block your view. The gate is closing now.

“Maria?” You look at her in desperation, pulled between the need to help and get status on Joel.

She gives you a nod and dashes off to investigate further.

Adam half rolls out of the saddle, in and out of consciousness before several strong sets of arms aid him to the ground.

“Someone get the gurney!” A voice calls out as you fall to your knees beside the man. It’s your voice. Your body is taking over, but your brain is still elsewhere. The ringing in your ears grows louder. “Someone tell me what we’re looking at!” Your shaking hands rip the stained flannel and undershirt. They're already rags anyway.

“Took a knife to the gut two days ago. Closed it up but it got infected and reopened on the way back,” John reports.

“And you didn’t stop to close it back up?” You yell.

“We had to drop the med bag.”

You groan in frustration. Dr. Pooley takes vital signs. Even in the haze you notice the signs that he’s over concentrating. His lips move to count Adams BPM and then he stops and starts over.

“What do you have for me, Doc?” You’re desperate for help. Desperate for the old man to be able to do his job, but you see it in his face. He’s about to admit what you’ve assumed for months.

“I don’t know,” he looks as lost as you feel right now, drowning in the panic of his own mortality. His own brain ceasing to work. You’ve seen the signs of dementia for months, and now the moment you need his help the most, he can’t think straight. You need his brain. You need to talk through this.

“Gurney!” Someone yells, pushing toward you with the homemade gurney. It’s more of a litter you’d find in a medieval era movie, but it does the trick.

They slam it to the ground, you don’t even have to let out the instructions before someone is counting and Adam is moved onto the stretcher. “Carefully!” You keep pressure on his wound, it’s definitely bleeding again. They must’ve missed something or it’s been bleeding internally all this time. Damnit!

You’re almost to the clinic when you hear it, a life preserver in the raging ocean, Ellie’s voice. “JOEL!”

You turn to see her arms wrapped around his midsection, holding her as tight as she does to him. His eyes flicker to yours, and it’s like you snap back into your body with a thud, your mind crisp and clear. He smiles weakly your way and you can breathe again.

You’re not sure how long it takes you. You’re pretty sure you’ve technically just performed a surgery you were in the room for once as a nurse 22 years ago. You probably missed most of the steps, but you know it was Adam’s only hope. Joyce Dobbins comes in with a poultice that’s supposed to help fight infection and “doctors him right up” as she likes to say. You don’t know enough to have an opinion. She’s the herbalist.

You shower at the clinic, bones weary and eyelids drooping. Joyce knows enough to monitor him over night as does Rachel, Adam’s wife.

You stumble home, the days events replaying on repeat in your head. The multiple times you thought you were going to lose Adam yet he somehow never faded. Lindsey’s never ending sobs from the backroom as she mourned Paul, you delivered their baby three years ago. Joel standing there giving you exactly what you needed so you could save a friend.

Most of the time, it’s easy to ignore the dangers of the outside world while tucked within the walls of Jackson, your slice of normal in the world. Tonight is not one of them.

You stumble up the porch stairs, anything but graceful as you cross the threshold. The house is quiet- no, peaceful. It’s an odd feeling compared to your raging mind. The house is clean, spotless. The orange glow of your living room lamp and the kitchen light warm you. Rumours spins in the corner, halfway through Songbird. You catch Joel in the kitchen wiping down the countertops. Your tea kettle whistles softly as he turns off the gas stove.

“Joel…” your voice is hoarse. He spins around. He doesn’t smile, only walks toward you, pulling your limp frame into his as soon as he can. “I missed you,” you whisper.

“I missed you too, Sweetheart.” His face burrows into the crook of your neck.

“I thought…” you can’t finish the sentence without tears falling down your cheeks. He rocks you both softly.

“Shhh, I know. I know.”

He kisses your head softly and then your lips. As much as you want to fall into bed, he forces you to eat something, drink the tea he’s brewed for you. You can barely sit upright, but you eat and drink and finally, he guides you upstairs, tucks you into bed, and curls up behind you. You fall asleep before he starts whispering sweet reassurances in your ear.

You pull yourself out of bed earlier than you should. You have to go check in on Adam at the clinic. No news is good news. Anytime you’re not dragged out of bed after a day like yesterday, it’s a good thing.

He’s not conscious but his fever is lower than it was when you left and that eases your worries some. Rachel doesn’t leave his bedside.

Lindsey is in the backroom as they re- wrap Paul’s body. They’ll bury him today. He’s already been dead for three days. You take Lindsey’s hand without a word, standing solemn next to her.

A hot tear marks your cheek as you watch Maria and Joyce diligently work. You were never awarded this luxury, could never gaze upon Gabe’s face one last time. Didn’t get to say goodbye.

He has a tombstone in the cemetery. You don’t visit it often. He’s not there, his ashes spread to the wind now, rolling over the earth like invisible tumbleweeds. He probably likes that better anyway.

The funeral is short, but all of Jackson crowds around for the service, to bury their fallen friend. Joel holds you close, arm wrapped around your waist. You lean heavy against him, gaining all your support from his frame. Carter and Ellie sit on the ground in front of you.

When it’s time to lower Paul into the ground, Joel makes sure you’re steady on your feet before joining the rest of the patrol group. Adam is still unconscious in the clinic. They lower his body to the ground with precision that is too practiced. You wonder if he’s thinking of her, how he had to leave her body behind. He calls out her name at night sometimes. You know he’s reliving the night Sarah died.

Lindsey’s cries start to pick up again. You slide onto the bench beside her, squeezing her hand tightly. Grace sits opposite you and Elaine stands behind. You don’t know Lindsey that well, but she’s joined your ranks now. Other women who have lost spouses close in around the grieving woman, a moment of solidarity. It’s a group that’s too large for your liking, too many lives taken.

Joel holds your hand on the walk home. You keep walking, taking your path earlier than normal. You don’t speak, too many memories in your mind, too many emotions flooding your heart.

You stop in at the clinic. Adam is in and out of consciousness. Joyce is giving him something for the pain.

You cut your walk short, just one lap tonight. There’s a note on the door. Carter is at Maria and Tommy’s for a sleepover. You sigh in relief, thankful to not have to worry about another human being tonight.

Joel helps you out of your shoes. He helps you upstairs. His hands move slowly over you, half roaming, half massaging your weary muscles. He follows your collarbone and shucks the cardigan from your shoulders, frees you from your jeans leaving you in nothing but a tank top. It’s one of the few times his eyes don’t immediately land on your exposed crotch. He can’t help but chuckle at your commitment to not wearing underwear.

Fingers delve into your tight calves. You let out a soft moan as you fall back into the mattress, sheets cool against your skin.

Your eyes close, relishing in the feeling of him. This is the first real chance you’ve had to spend together since he got back. There’s nothing inherently sensual to his movements and the way he touches you, but your body heats in response, craving the connection, the assurance.

The air shifts as your breath hitches. His fingers crawl up your legs leaving tiny trails of fire as he presses a kiss to each of your calves. Desire begins to burn in your body, slow and hot. “Joel…” You moan, legs falling open.

“I know, Sweetheart,” He feels it too, voice low and thick as his eyes darken. “I know.”

Your hands tangle in his curls as he takes his time covering your thighs in kisses, swiping his tongue over your skin from time to time. “I’m here,” he says again. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

There’s no rush to the finish line, neither of you have the energy for that tonight. It’s slow, languid like a hike up a steep cliff as his mouth slowly greets your slick cunt, his tongue runs through your folds at a steady pace over and over and over and over. He’s pulling you closer to the edge, taking his time until finally, you cry out arching into his mouth, spilling more of yourself onto his tongue.

He pulls away, chin glistening in your soft bedroom light, proud smile on his lips. “That’s my girl.”

You whimper in response, hands traveling up his forearms. His calloused palms roam over your thighs and hip, fingers drawing soft patterns across your skin.

Leading with his lips, he makes his way up your sternum. Not a drop of urgency in his body, he eases up your tank top. It’s like he has all the time in the world. You wish for all the time in the world as long as you get to spend it with him.

Finally, his lips meet yours. You taste yourself on his lips as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands wander his shoulder and neck, your fingers glide through his hair again. Nails rake down his back. At some point he shed his shirt and pants, leaving him bare against you.

“Lay on your back,” you say.

He pulls back slowly, eyebrows raised. “What are you thinking about?”

“Having you on your back.”

He chuckles, warm arms wrapping around your middle as he rolls over. You brace yourself on your knees. His hard cock presses against your thigh. You run it through your folds. Joel lets out a soft moan as his eyes glaze with lust. “Fuck, Sweetheart. Let me in there.”

“Patience,” you chide, but have no intention of keeping him waiting for long.

You nudge his dick against your clit, sending sparks through your veins until you center your opening over him. He holds your hips as you slowly sink onto him. You stretch around him, filling you so completely. Once you’ve taken him to the hilt, you sit there, eyes focused on each other exchanging soft pants.

Your cunt clenches around him, pulling moans from both of you, but you don’t move, hands finding purchase against his soft stomach, thumb running through his dark happy trail. The two of you bask in the feeling of your skin against the other’s, desperate for the certainty that you’re alive and breathing, that the blur you’re living in is reality and you still have each other.

He cups your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your teeth scrape against it. Then you lift up just a little bit, keeping him mostly inside you before you sink back down. You keep the slow pace as you ease up and down, increasing the distance a little more each time.

Joel’s eyes never move from you, sometimes meeting yours and other times appreciating your naked form above him. His hand trails down your torso, finding the wet heat of your core. He finds your clit with the precision only granted by his familiarity with your body. He has you memorized, every single inch of you.

You let out a sharp gasp when he touches you. He holds his thumb steady against you, letting your movements drag his thumb across your clit. You clench around him and he groans. Up and down, your hands perched on his hairy chest, nails biting into his pecs.

As you draw nearer to the peak, Joel starts to meet you, hitting a different angle inside of you. You let out a long moan, head tipping backward. Then you reach the crest, cunt milking his cock, coming undone on top of him.

Sweat beads along Joel's forehead as your dripping pussy flutters around him. He’s not far behind you, filling you with his spend. The feel of him inside you, coating you, causes another breathy moan to leave your lips.

“Fuck, Sweetheart.” He pants, pulling you down beside him, sweaty skin flush against his.

You smile softly at him, brushing the curl in front of his forehead back. He kisses your palm. You should feel guilty for enjoying Joel’s comforts, his warm skin against yours when Lindsey lays in an empty bed across the way, but all you feel is relief. You’re grateful to be spared heartache for once.

Eventually, Joel rolls out of bed, returning with a warm washcloth to clean up the mess he left behind. You’ve pulled on his white tshirt. You don’t say a word, just stare at him in the lamp light. He’s beautiful, a gentle giant, and he’s yours.

When he crawls back beside you, he looks at you like he reads every thought in your mind, kisses your forehead, and turns out the lamp. You turn on your side. He spoons you, arm thrown over your waist.

His soft snores start to play in your ears. The crease in his forehead is nonexistent with sleep as you look over your shoulder. Then, it hits you. You’re happy here with him despite the last 48 hours. It feels wrong, like you cheated death. You just hope it doesn’t come back to collect double, but you’re so damn happy. Joel Miller has permeated every single fiber of your being.

You’ve known this, but now, you accept it. Your muscles tense with it. It’s not enough to send you spiraling by any means, but you fought it for so long, you’re not sure how to proceed. You could tell him now, wake him up and finally let the words slip off your tongue. More tension gathers between your shoulders.

Joel mumbles, tightening his grip around you as he pulls you flush against him. He kisses your shoulder.

“Don’t start with that.” Sleep coats his voice. You wonder how he’s so in tune with you even in sleep he can feel the tension.

“Don’t think it works like that.”

He hums, squeezing you again. His lips press between your shoulder blades, beard brushing against your skin sweeping the tension away, pulling the thoughts from your head.

He chuckles as you sink into him. “You sure about that.”

You reach behind you. Your nails rake over his thigh, just above his knee until you find your target. You pluck one of his leg hairs with a practiced precision.

“Ow! Not nice!”

You laugh, burrowing into your pillow. “Go to sleep, old man.”

“Goodnight, Sweetheart.” He kisses your cheek, holding you so close your brain can’t think of anything but his solid frame at your back.

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