#acupuncture two times a week

[minatalks]

cried while doing my physical therapy, but i got through it. how i'm gonna be able to do these new exercises 3/4 times a day is beyond me, but i'm done for today. yay or whatever

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hands down one of the greatest magics my beloved brings to our relationship is being a doctor of acupuncture. When we first started dating I was somewhat skeptical of the practice. I’d had friends who swore by it but I’ve always been terribly put off by needles. It definitely wasn’t for me.

But I couldn’t help but notice how easily they banished a headache just by putting pressure on my feet or made my nausea dry up by pressing around my shins. Their medicine felt like witchcraft. I sidled closer to their sorcery the longer we were together. The tipping point was about three months into dating when my spine went out.

I’ve had back problems since I was 11 and every few months my spine liked to jump out of alignment and completely debilitate me for a week or two. This has been significantly mitigated by doing core exercises and working out so it’s a less constant problem now, thank goodness. Core muscles are important y’all.

When my back struck this time I still hobbled over to their house for date night. They took one look at me and begged me to let them work on it. At that point, nothing could possibly have hurt worse than my own spine, so I submitted.

It was incredible. Within an hour from treatment the pain had dissipated to a mild annoyance. Two weeks of suffering, instantly mitigated. I couldn’t believe it. After that I got a little bolder, letting them treat other ailments and soliciting help before problems blew up which was even more beneficial.

I let them needle my face for anxiety once and was floored to realize that a needle point between the eyes felt like Calm Emotions had just been cast on me. A weighted blanket of serenity settled on my whole body. It’s my favorite acupuncture point now.

But despite this I’ve remained a fussy patient, nervous and flighty. I take a little coddling through treatments but I’ve expanded what I can tolerate a great deal. More needles, more sensitive areas, all have been slow milestones for me.

Today they treated me and a friend of ours in exchange for that friend working on their neck. My arms have both been acting up as my hand ailment has tightened it’s way up my arm rather than down, then spread to my other arm.

There’s something called “trigger point release” that I’ve never been brave enough to handle. But laid out on the table I insisted, “I want to feel better.” It’s indescribable what they did. Trigger points don’t… hurt exactly. It’s more like touching the raw nerve and feeling a jolt of energy along the muscles. It’s shocking and your brain doesn’t like it but it’s not pain.

Afterward it’s normal to feel sore and achey, and I do. Still, I can’t help but laugh. It took eight years for me to get comfortable enough being needled to brave this. A treatment that people just walk in the door and lay down for on their first time with my beloved took me eight years.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

How the iudex sleeps

Unexpectedly enough Fontaine started wondering how the great judge is productive enough to do all his work and some bizarre ideas start pooping up until the iudex himself says his 'secrets'

Read also: otters sleep holding hands and with their babies on their bellies and I found that incredibly sweet

WC: 1,3K

Cw: gn reader, you both have a baby but it isn't specified if he is biologically related or adopted

‘The chief of justice is a busy person’ is a known fact amongst the citizens of Fontaine, who see him working through many cases plus uncountable quantities of paperwork. That led to a question for some people ‘how does he get enough energy for the day’ at first the common guess was coffee but they were told off by an angry melusine.

“Huff! As if monsieur Neuville would ever drink such things! Only weird humans can drink something that bitter”

That quickly shut down that possibility and led them back to the board of ideas. About that time reporters started to notice how many people seemed interested in maximizing their energy and being awake for longer, while they aren't life changing or particularly interesting sections, some weeks are remarkably unremarkable and anything is better than nothing.

Now every week there would be a few merchants promoting tonics, pallets and pills that enhance energy, even when they would find ways to waltz around trying to mention the judge in their advertisements.

‘Lawfully energetic’

‘as fierce as a dragon’

‘enough to stand 100 trials’

Even if the last one was almost enough for the mermonia palace to get involved for using Neuvillette's name it was vague enough that it got off the hook.

Usually Furina’s crew would be able to rehearse two scenes before tea time but for some reason it was already 2 pm and they were still rehearsing the beginning of the play.

“ I'm sorry, Ms. Furina, I just can't connect two ideas together today” the female lead says as she grabs her head, sighing deeply. Furina touches her back and before she can ask about it someone shares a thought to the air.

“ Oh! Have you tried nilotpala lotus tea? It seems to stimulate the nervous system and clear up brain fog. Maybe the iudex uses that” the man who was supposed to be practicing the piano to match the scene says with a slight poison over his words.

“ Isn't brain fog rich coming from you?” Furina yaps at him “ your tempo was off the whole day” as she looks over his shoulder and rather than seeing a music sheet she finds the newest issue of steambird “what are you even reading? Focus on the piano! We have a show next week!”

She quickly grabs the paper and starts reading the small column with advertisements and tricks, huffing at the idea “stop reading those newspapers and keep rehearsing! The magic fix you are looking for is simply a good night sleeps, like the iudex you are stalking for an answer” she sighs loudly before looking at her crew.

“Is that all?”

“Simply a good night's sleep. What else were you expecting? An extract with 10 times more caffeine than a cup or liyue acupuncture?” She looks at her crew and finds some of them nodding and others seemingly disappointed “now, a break or can we start from the top?”

Unsurprising enough, very few people believed what she claimed, most likely wishing for a strange concoction that can make up for bad habits. Even then a few girls believed it to be rational enough of an answer, seemingly even one of them must have said furina knew his whole nighttime routine causing a hoard of reporters to crowd her door asking senseless questions.

‘Does he use sleep mists?’

‘What kind of fabric are his sheets?”

‘What does he eat before bed? Does he drink water?’

After being stalked everywhere from her home to the supermarket or the café she started dressing up in disguise to escape, luckily a few days after she noticed the quantity of reporters went down and only one came knocking on her door asking about the rescheduling of her play.

“ Oh, yes, we had to reschedule as there was an ‘important trial’ that had to be dealt with urgently. A representative of the palais mermonia apologized for the inconveniences but in the end the most important thing is justice!” furina says with her characteristic theatrical flare. Now looking at the reporter scribbling things on his notebook she adds a bit “the new date will be in two weeks, if someone presents the special meet and greet tickets with the old date they will still be valid”

As he finishes writing he goes off to write the article “thanks miss!”

Now standing on the doorway to the rehearsal room, Furina was expecting the usual sleepy greetings or the usual chitchatter or gossiping but, unusually enough, the whole room was silent and her whole crew was hunched over a spot, their backs facing her.

Clearing her throat she greets them first but they still don't react “ morning? Guys? Are you all okay?” she rounds them trying to get their attention until one of them catches sight of her.

“Director! Look! Monsieur Neuvillette told his secret to the newspapers!” He grabs the yellow paper and holds it to her face, a big bold font meeting her eyes.

CASE MELUSINE AND OTHER QUESTIONS WITH THE IUDEX: PAST CASES TO HIS GREATEST SECRET

‘Greatest secret?’ Furina thinks for a second ‘did he already publicly state to be the hydro dragon? Doesn't seem like it’ but she quickly smiles at her co actor “So? What is his secret?”

But all her crew look at her with a questioning glare “ what we have been wondering all this time? Who would have guessed our director was right!”

“What is that even supposed to mean?!”

Charlotte looks at the pages full questions she prepared for her so desired meeting, who knew that after so long wishing for it she would truly get a chance to interview the iudex, even if half the questions she prepared couldn't be answered for privacy or because the cases weren't closed she got enough material to fill a good pair of pages. Even then she couldn't lose this opportunity and started asking the ‘dumber’ or sillier questions

Looming over one particular line she wonders, would the judge consider it rude for her to ask that given he was giving her his important time but she simply swallows and asks

“How are you able to work through so much work?”

“My apologies?” Neuvillette furrows his brows and looks confused “I don't think I quite understand what you mean”

Charlotte breathes in deeply before elaborating “People have been wondering how you have enough energy to do all the work you are able to do”

Neuvillette stays silent for a second with his eyes closed

“It's known the iudex doesn't talk about his private life, so if you don't want to answer-”

“ It's not that” Neuvillette reassures her calmly “it wasn't a question I was expecting, that is all” he crosses his legs and details as Charlotte writes

But regardless of how many tries we have thrown to the ceiling we all were wrong, the way our judge is able to power through the day is simple actually, a comfortable bed and his beloved family. Even if he refused to expand on information about his family he did speak more about his routine.

“I'm unsure why people care so much suddenly but it's very simple, really, I always sleep with my lover in bed and keep our child on my chest” even as Charlotte choked on her own spit at a sudden juicy revelation neuvillette barely glanced over the rim of his goblet “we are also rather particular about bedding, but for now we settled on silk flower sheets made I'm liyue”

As he drinks water a small smile creeps up his lips, remembering that very morning vividly, his fingers firmly entangled with yours, almost as if he fears you would leave and meet a cold spot when he wakes up, even when you are practically hugging his side. Or your young baby peeking his head out of his father's sleeping shirt and feeling the soft beating of his heart with a pleased face.

Hm, he is sure that is why he always wakes up with enough energy to power through his duties .

Opening his eyes he finds Charlotte with small tears on her lashes and muttering ‘how sweet’.

“ So about your son…?”

“No”

“Understood”

[tokidokitokyo]

埼玉県

Japanese Prefectures: Kantō - Saitama

都道府県 (とどうふけん) - Prefectures of Japan

Learning the kanji and a little bit about each of Japan’s 47 prefectures!

Kanji・漢字

埼　さき、さい、みさき、キ　cape, spit, promontory

玉　たま、～だま、ギョク　jewel, jade; ball

県　ケン　prefecture

関東　かんとう　Kanto, region consisting of Tokyo and surrounding prefectures

Prefectural Capital (県庁所在地) : Saitama City (さいたま市)

Saitama is Tokyo's neighbor to the north. Much of southeastern Saitama is considered a suburb of Tokyo, but the western parts are mostly rural with mountainous forested areas, and include a castle town and the Chichibu-Tama-Kai National Park. Saitama has historically been a fertile agricultural region and is currently the major food supplier for the metropolitan area of Greater Tokyo. Some of the first currency in Japan came from copper discovered in the Chichibu area in the 8th century. Saitama's central location has made it a historical hub for transportation to all parts of Eastern Japan, and the modern radial roads and railroad system are designed for ease of transportation to all parts of Japan. Saitama is also the backdrop to the famous Miyazaki Hayao (Studio Ghibli) film "My Neighbor Totoro."

Recommended Tourist Spot・おすすめ���光スポット Kawagoe - 川越

Kawagoe

The Edo-period castle town of Kawagoe is also known as Ko-edo (小江戸 or "Little Edo") because of its many traditional buildings dating from the Edo period. The streets have been maintained as-is since the Edo period (1603-1867). The weekends are the most popular times for visitors to gather here and experience the atmosphere, shops, and popular seasonal events. In the third week of October, the Kawagoe Festival is held with a parade of traditional ornate floats and a musical competition.

The Warehouse District is lined with old earthen storehouses, which are unique two-story buildings that have remained unchanged since the days when the city was a major transportation and commerce hub for Eastern Japan. The Toki no Kane, or "Bell of Time," has marked time for the town for centuries, and continues to ring four times daily. Candy Street is a street lined with stores where traditional Japanese sweets are made in the old-fashioned way.

For more recent history, the Taisho-Roman Street has old, retro western-style buildings from the Taisho and Showa areas. There are also no overhead power lines, which makes this a popular spot to shoot many Japanese period films set in these eras.

There are severable notable temples and shrines in Kawagoe, especially Kitain Temple, which was built over 1,000 years ago. This temple has 538 stone statues of Buddha, each with its own face and unique posture. No two statues look alike, and the popular belief is that there is a statue to resemble any visitor to the temple. Kawagoe Hikawa-jinja Shrine is a Shinto shrine dating back to the 6th century that boasts a torii shrine gate that is 15 metres tall. Kawagoe Kumano-jinja Shrine has fortunes, lucky charms, and also boasts the "stepping health road," which is a path to walk barefoot to stimulate the acupuncture points on the soles of your feet for health benefits.

Regional Cuisine - 郷土料理 Miso Potato - 味噌ポテト

Miso Potato (source)

Famous in the Chichibu region of Saitama, miso potatoes are a well-known winter treat in the area. This dish is similar to a baked potato covered in sweet miso sauce and is traditionally from the rural areas in the mountainous part of the prefecture. It is now a popular street stall snack that combines the sweet and savoury miso flavours with the earthy baked potato texture.

Saitama Dialect・Saitama-ben・埼玉弁

1. むじっけー　mujikkee　cute

むじっけー猫だね。 (mujikkee neko da ne)

Standard Japanese: かわいい猫だね。 (kawaii neko da ne)

English: What a cute cat.

2. ああみぃ　aahmii　no good, can't do it (also, ああみ, aahmi)

ごめん、明日ああみぃ。 (gomen, ashita aahmii)

Standard Japanese: ごめん、明日行けない。 (gomen, ashita ikenai) or ごめん、明日はダメ。 (gomen, ashita wa dame)

English: Sorry, I can't go tomorrow. or Sorry, tomorrow is no good.

3. かみぎっちょ　gamigiccho　lizard

庭のすみっこにかまぎっちょがいたで。 (niwa no sumikko ni kamagiccho ga itade)

Standard Japanese: 庭の隅にとかげがいたよ。 (niwa no sumi ni tokage ga ita yo)

English: There was a lizard in the corner of the garden.

4. うちゃる　ucharu　to throw away

そこにうちゃるなよ。 (soko ni ucharu na yo)

Standard Japanese: そこに捨てるなよ。 (soko ni suteru na yo)

English: Don't throw that away there.

5. こわい　～kowai　hard

このおせんべいこわい。 (kono osenbei kowai)

Standard Japanese: このおせんべい硬い。 (kono senbei katai)

English: This senbei is hard.

*Note: senbei is a Japanese rice cracker

6. えらい　erai　a lot

今日はえらい食べるな。 (kyou wa erai taberu na)

Standard Japanese: 今日はたくさん食べるな。 (kyou wa takusan taberu na)

English: Don't eat a lot today.

[cllightning81]

My Story

I'm not sharing this for sympathy more just to educate people on the fact that they never know what someone is going through. Also, because people never share these types of stories

For ten years (taking me back to my single digit childhood 😭), I have had chronic back pain that's been left undiagnosed for these ten years and increasing day by day.

Physical signs of swelling and constant pain with leg weakness occasionally nowadays.

It started off with local general practitioners (GP's) telling me it was just growing pains because I was so young. Pain kept up until my double-digit years, when I continued to go back to my GP until they told me it was a pulled muscle into my early teens I continued to go to my GP who told me to go to physio privately.

My family was in no place to afford this, but thankfully, we knew some private physios who would do it for free because they were family friends.

The first private physio did some acupuncture, which eventually helped, but then the pain came back and told me it was a pinched nerve. The second private physio told me it was a pulled muscle again.

Back to my GP nearing my adulthood (according to Scottish law) they sent me to a NHS physio who did all the basic information, felt my spine -detected scoliosis-, gave me exercises and referred me to rheumatology by this time I was on a painkiller called "Naproxen"

A year later. Finally got my rheumatology appointment met with the consultant who took my information, felt my spine -detected scoliosis, hyperflexibility in my cervical and thoracic spine-, promised he'd do something about this, sent me for bloods and X-rays.

Had my bloods taken. No sign of inflammation or rheumatoid arthritis.

Nearly 3 months later, I got my x-ray results. There is nothing there time for an MRI.

2 weeks later, I had my MRI. Waited 5 further months on my results. Irregularities in my sacrioloc joint but no inflammation.

At this point, I've been through two different types of painkillers. Diclofenac and co-codamol. In my teen years. 3 different types

It's time for another x-ray. It shows nothing. Found this out the day I got accepted into my dream uni for my dream course ( I didn't get the grades. However, I'm just doing a different course at my dream university)

Went back to my GP after finding this out for the trainee GP to tell a teenage me that I "might need a hip replacement in the future." Left annoyed and upset.

Started using kinesiology tape from a suggestion from Google for back pain. It helps a little, but I still have major flare-ups.

Over the past months now in my adult years (😭😭), I've been experiencing hip pain where I've been unable to lie, sit, or put any weight on my right hip. The hip is on the same side as my back pain.

GP receptionist tells me it's not an emergency even though it is causing me to lose feeling in my right leg and that the first appointment is in a week and a half.

Appointment rolls around, and I've got another trainee who dismisses me as normal. I mentioned I thought it might be linked to my back, and the whole appointment moved from my hip to my back.

At the end of the appointment, she tells me, "Surgeons won't do anything, so I won't refer you there. Rheumatology will refer you back because you were there recently, and more X-rays and MRIs are unnecessary radiation, so we won't do that"

IM STUDYING TO BECOME A RADIOGRAPHER I KNOW THE RISKS. Her patient centred careness was thrown out the window during this appointment.

So she tells me she'll speak to her supervisor about giving my lidocaine patches to help with the pain.

Two hours later I get a phone call from her where she repeats everything she said at the appointment and follows it up with "We're going to give you more diclofenac and lanzoprazole" to which I reply "I already have lots of that. I take it constantly, " but they have continued to give me it.

After I hung up, I explained everything to my mum, and I couldn't hold back the tears. The way the NHS treats young people in constant pain is ridiculous. I'm not being listened to.

All they see and have ever seen is my age. Never the condition. And now studying radiography, and I've requested all of my medical records and images because I need to know.

I've never been in so much pain physically and mentally, but here I am. I'm struggling so much, and no one's listening to me from the medical professions.

What do I need to do to get them to listen?

[ener-chi]

Chronic sinus infections run in my family. For most of my life, anytime I would get even the slightest cold - boom, sinus infection, guaranteed. And then I'd have to go to the doc and get some antibiotics and wait for it to clear up in a week or two.

When I was 19, my mother and my grandmother suggested to me that I should get acupuncture for it. At the time, I was a nihilist and very scientifically-minded, and kind of scoffed at the idea. Not to mention, I was never a big fan of needles. BUT what did I have to lose? They were just needles, after all.

So I made an appointment. Between the time that I made an appointment and my actual appointment, I ended up contracting a sinus infection. So I went in for acupuncture.

Not only did the acupuncture make my sinus infection go away without antibiotics - which has never happened before - I've never had one ever again.

That was 7 years ago.

I was astounded and amazed - just pure needles shouldn't have such an effect on my body like that, especially with something that I have always needed antibiotics for. I was very curious, and long story short acupuncture had incredible results for my physical and mental health, changed my belief system, changed my life, and then prompted me to pursue a degree in acupuncture and chinese medicine, where I am now at the end of my first year of school.

This summer, we started taking a class called Acupuncture Techniques. It's the beginnings of us learning different needling techniques and manipulations, and needling each other for the first time.

Each class, we get lecture on some techniques/manipulations, have a demonstration, and then have a list of points for us to try out on a partner. The points are a non-cohesive - designed for us to try different points and different parts of the body. But also, they're picked so that they don't interact with one another and don't have a therapeutic effect on the person that they wouldn't want - a set of points that are harmless and have really no lasting effects.

I have been feeling discouraged and frustrated in this class, because due to lack of time and also other considerations, I would only be able to get through about half the points on the list. I felt like I was falling behind, and also that I was feeling anxious and rushed and as a result wasn't able to feel things as much as I would like.

But in another class, we had a teacher talk about how in certain traditions, the first time people needle another human is their first clinical shift - they spend most of the time learning their techniques on fruit/leather/other objects that we get to practice on. This really eased my anxieties, and helped me realize that it was okay that I wasn't getting all of the points done, and that I would be okay.

But another thing that he mentioned, is that even though they say that the points that we are needling on each other are harmless due to the lack of combination - that's really a myth. Any time you are putting a needle in someone, you are connecting with their Qi, and the Universe, and you are likely to have some kind of therapeutic effect, especially if that's your intention.

This really resonated with me, and I decided that for the last techniques class we had, I wouldn't worry about the number of points or getting points done I hadn't had a chance to yet - I would just focus on doing what the person needed, and giving them a treatment. I really wanted to focus on that, and actually trying to feel and focus on the Qi sensations and interactions.

At the beginning of the term, they encouraged us to find a partner and stick with them for the whole 6 weeks. I ended up having a different partner each week, and decided for the last class that I would continue the trend, and let whoever wanted to work with me, work with me - to let whoever needed treatment from me be aligned with me.

That brings me to today. In class, there were 3 unpaired people that I could've potentially worked with. One girl came up and asked if I wanted to work with her, and I agreed. While I was getting setup, I told her that I wanted to focus more on a therapeutic effect, and asked if there was anything she wanted to have worked on.

She said that for the last couple of days, she has had a sinus infection, and wanted that to be worked on. She hadn't taken any antibiotics. Fast forwarding, I treated her, and it was an incredible experience for us both, and afterwards, she felt much better, and could actually breathe through both of her nostrils freely for once.

She said she would follow up with me in a few days and let me know if her sinus infection clears up. I already know that it is going to.

I am just... completely, utterly floored. My first actual time giving someone a real treatment with acupuncture ended up being for the same thing that I went in for my first acupuncture treatment, and what ultimately led me to study it. Completely full circle. The synchronicity of it all is just... insane. I got super emotional when it happened, and still do just thinking about it.

I know who I am now, and every day I feel more and more rooted in myself and my energy. For a while I had forgotten and lost sight of my purpose, what was important to me, and what I was meant to do. But I see my Path clearly now - I am a healer. I was always meant to be, and today's experience is a wonderful affirmation that I am right where I need to be.

I want to learn and to understand the secrets and underpinnings of reality and of the Universe, and I want to use that understanding to help and heal other people. And I gladly dedicate myself to this work. I have fallen in love with Chinese Medicine, and the other healing modalities that I am drawn towards. I have already helped so many of my classmates, and I am excited to share what I am learning with the rest of the world, and those that I am destined to help.

Thanks for reading. I hope that you have a wonderful night!

Blessings!

[couchcandy]

Psych x Community ??

I love psych and i love community so this vague concept of them existing in the same universe has been floating around in my head. 

The key connecting factor being the references to Shawn/Britta’s similarly eclectic off-screen pasts. They're close in age so I'm like okay - it would totally be possible for them to have known eachother/dated/whatever at some point before. 

psych aired from 2006 - 2014; Shawn born 1977

community aired from 2009 -2014; Britta born 1980

(Take these two quotes just as an example but it's referenced casually throughout both shows)

Britta’s Dad: I mean, every time we get too close, you run off. We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, and the next week you’re setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.

Britta: How long is that gonna stick with me?

Britta’s Mom: Until arson is legal, sweetie.

Gus: Shawn, you’ve had fifty-seven jobs since we left high school.

Shawn: Yes I have. And they were all fun. But this one takes the cake.

Gus: Oh yeah? Better than the acupuncture clinic?

Shawn: I didn’t realize experience was necessary.

Gus: What about the summer you spent driving the weiner mobile?

Shawn: I did that for the hot dogs.

I think they fit somewhere in the ballpark of each other's types, both sluts(affectionate) and it makes sense for them to have crossed paths at some point during Britta's “anhercists” days. 

So that establishes a link between the groups, but what would it be like if they interacted? Take the arbitrary scenario; Shawn and Gus have gotten themselves and by extension the SBPD into another whacky shenanigan somehow who cares how i'm not writing this

I imagine initially everyone in the study group has a more or less positive impression of Shawn because he's charming, (with the notable exception of…you got it! Jeff)

JEFF

In typical jeff fashion is immediately threatened by Shawn because he has to be the coolestmostlikeabledude™ in the room at all times while simultaneously has to act like he doesn't care so he's quietly seething and - hey what's this new dude doing here making all my friends laugh that's my job! i must now make it my life's mission to prove this guys a fraud and reclaim my status no matter how much a fool i make of myself in the process (a la: advanced documentary filmmaking)

BRITTA

Normal standard “hey old friend” situation, remember when we *insane thing involving multiple felonies and property destruction* haha anyway let me introduce you to my friends - 

ANNIE

immediate skepticism that Shawn is able to sidestep pretty quickly by being charming/flirty (NOT in a gross way *hisses at the jeffannie shippers*) Her reaction being like when the dean “swaps bodies with jeff” or after abed’s don draper impression.

ABED

Knows Shawn isn't really psychic but goes along with it/doesn’t point out that Shawn’s hyper observant because he's invested in watching the psychic/cop show formula play out. He would! and I would too!

(quote from 5x03 Basic Intergluteal Numismatics):

Abed Nadir: [Pretending to read the crime scenes as a psychic] I see a man... using a social disorder as a procedural device. Wait, wait, wait, I see another man. Mildly autistic super detectives everywhere.

TROY

Obligatory: “you’re wrinkling my brain right now” and just general fascination, awe, and wonderment. Asks Shawn to tell him his future

SHIRLEY

Immediate judgment on Shawn's practices not being christian enough for her standards, but easily swayed to liking him once he picks up on something and comments on her ex husband being an idiot to lose her or something

PEIRCE

Does his peirce thing and tries to seem impressive and fails, something level five laser lotus blah blah - u get it thats enough on him 

THE DEAN

Is facilitating the psych crew being there because it might bring in good press for greendale and he def does the hand on shoulder thing when he meets him you know the one - omg and totally is into Lassiter furrowed brows “im packing heat” Carlton, please. – lassie is Not Amused™ 

CHANG

This depends on what point in community canon this interaction takes place because season 1 chang would prob be normal(for him), but like season 5 Chang would do/say something so insane and so chang that i can't even come up with it

As for our psych guys, Gus points out how weird and fucked up and bizarre Greendale is meanwhile Shawn is LIVING for it - signs them up for the Dean’s PA announcements class, and “Gus! buddy! I hope you don't mind. I used your credit card to sign us up for The History of Ice Cream. Come on, it starts in 20 minutes ! :D” Gus: “Shawn! >:0”

Lassie would just nonstop point out all the health and safety violations- he doesn't want to be here- calls a lot of people hippies, generally grumpy demeanor and we love him for it.

Starburns terribly hits on Jules - gets rejected, proceeds to try and sell her drugs - gets arrested.

[scarabies-real]

I discovered something life changing last night and I have to share it with y’all because oh my god. I saw a post that talked about untangling jewelry by sticking a pin in the middle of the knot and working around. And someone else said they figured that’s how acupuncture works. And then I grabbed a pair of tweezers and jammed it into my trapezius and started working it around and y’all. Y’all. When I tell you the relief was instant I mean INSTANT. I could pull my shoulders back. I can turn my head without pain for the first time in YEARS. Things that regular massage and stretching and physical therapy could not help me with. My migraine that I’ve had for two weeks went away.

If you have neck or back pain this is your sign to just stick something blunt but pointy in there and go to town.

[idyllcy]

delusion

Word count: 1.1k

Content Warnings: unhealthy obsession, needles (acupuncture)

Summary: it's unhealthy, really.

It's an unhealthy relationship, really.

You go running back to Hinata each time something goes wrong in your life, and you sob your eyes out in his chest, brain spinning, tears hot. He's your soulmate, even if you weren't his. He left you for high school? You flew halfway across the world for him. You settled down in one of the local high schools rather than Hope's Peak, staying at Hinata's place and paying rent. You didn't do anything at his place considering that your school had dorms too.

But it wasn't Hope's Peak.

So, you suppose that's the reason that Hinata doesn't talk to you as much as before. He's busy with his schoolwork. There's nothing wrong with that. You can sit in his room as he does his work and everything else in between. You're just happy he hasn't kicked you out.

He used to do that when the two of you were kids; kick you out of his room when he needed to focus.

You would sit with his parents and chat instead. It didn't bother you. Not when each time he kicked you out he'd hand you a piece of candy he hid with a face redder than your cheeks when you fell in love with him. It was really simple and easy.

Hajime Hinata didn't like you back, but you were someone of equal importance to him.

So, you sit in his room again.

This time it's 11pm, and you're staring at his ceiling, ranting about how shit your parents are and how awful your classmates treat you. Hinata doesn't respond, but he's listening. He's listening in his own way. He's always done that.

It's not like you need him to respond anyway. You'd throw him out as soon as venting to him became pointless and null.

You consider it some nights

Tonight is one of those nights.

You go quiet first, eyes fluttering as you stand up. You need to get to your dorm.

"I'm heading home."

"Ah, right," Hinata hands you a sheet of paper, and you blink at it slowly.

"Why are you handing me a contract?"

"I need you to forge my parents' signatures."

"What is it for?" You scan through the paper as Hinata goes quiet. "Surgery."

"Yes."

"For a talent."

"Yes."

"You're selling your body for science? Wow, Hinata, not even I'm this stupid." You mumble, forging the signatures anyway. You're in love with him. How could you not? You spend every moment of your life thinking about your soulmate whose soulmate is definitely not you. You'd do anything for him. It's pathetic on your end, really.

You hand him the contract back.

"When's the surgery start?"

"Two weeks."

You have a weird obsession with him. You'd kill, die, burn, and do just about anything for Hinata. You've been obsessed with him since a child, and that obsession has not changed whatsoever. So, as you settle into Hope's Peak's main course as ultimate acupuncturist, you're placed on the surgery team that Hinata needs. You don't know why they need acupuncture, but it doesn't really matter. You're insane enough to make it to Hope's Peak for the love of your life. You think that's good enough of a reason.

So, as Hinata blinks at you at his diagnosis, you smile and wave.

It's a weird obsession with him.

Not like you were normal to begin with.

You look over his diagnosis, pressing points on Hinata's skin to try and loosen him up. You weren't hired because they needed one. You think you were hired because the woman in charge wanted Hinata to get pampered before death. Oh, well. You're thankful for her either way. You got to spend more time with your beloved Hinata.

So, you're back in his room at school.

It's 7pm.

"Why are you here?"

"Why not?"

"I didn't know you knew how to do acupuncture."

You tap your chin, reaching for an alcohol swab. "Family things."

Hinata waits as you push every needle into him, falling asleep as you sit in his room.

It's a little unhealthy.

In a moment where your delusion breaks, you stare at the needles on Hinata's body.

Maybe it was unhealthy.

But as quickly as your delusion fades, it comes back. Maybe this would be the last time you see him. ever. Even as you pull the needles out of his body, you stare at him. He's been like that. He's been slim since forever. Maybe they'd give him muscles after the surgery or something. You don't know the details. You hope you can continue to see him after it. It would be nice.

"Ready?"

"Um," Hinata holds onto your wrist. "One last request."

You wonder if he realized that your soulmate is him from that.

You're so busy with Hinata that you forget about your own problems.

An overflowing cup of emotions was never something you're ready to deal with.

So, at the strike of four, you sit in the glass chamber, staring at Hinata undergo surgery.

"You know," You smile. Nothing like trauma dumping to the two brain nerds. "I hate Hinata."

"What the fuck-" Matsuda's cut off with a harsh smack.

"Shut up.

You grin at the girl. "I wish he'd be a little more selfish like me."

"I can see that."

"He won't remember me, huh?"

"No." A pause. "But he'll be the ultimate everything. He'll be the ultimate therapist as well."

You tilt your head, meeting eyes with the red-eyed boy that steps out of the pod.

"He's kind of hot."

"Yeah, we made him that way."

You sit in Hinata— Kamukura's room, pressing needles into his skin, rambling about your issues.

Was it healthy? No.

But you were the same person to book a flight ticket and move away because you were in love with Hinata. You'd do anything for him, obviously.

You pull the needles from Kamukura, staring down at him as his eyes meet yours.

"You miss him."

"Yeah." You mumble. "How's it feel being alive? You're like... some new person." Your voice goes quieter, tears falling. Hot tears, as they always are. Hinata's gone.

Kamukura reaches for your hand instead. It might be muscle memory. Yet, he runs his thumb over the back of your hand mumbling. mumbling. You didn't even know Kamukura could do that. Maybe he was acting to further fuel your delusion. You're in love with him so much. It's a painful realization that you're still in love with Hinata even if he's Kamukura now. How pathetic.

So, as you cling onto Kamukura's arm as he watches the school burn down, you blink slowly.

Yes, it's unhealthy, but it's fun.

It's home.

Whoever this man was, anyway.

[gabatelepsychiatry-blog]

Postpartum Depression Symptoms

Postpartum Depression is the onset of a depressed mood and its associated symptoms within the first year of childbirth, lasting more than two weeks with or without treatment.

It is vital to seek help and treatment for postpartum depression. Failure to do so may result in long-term negative consequences for both the mother and the baby.

What are the Symptoms of Postpartum Depression?

Since postpartum depression arises during a time in a mother's life when society expects her to be happy about the arrival of her new baby, it can be very isolating for mothers.

Postpartum depression symptoms can manifest in a variety of ways. It may affect one's emotions, perception, ideas, and bodily experiences. Postpartum depression can cause hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia in severe cases.

Symptoms of postpartum depression are usually classified as follows:

Physical Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Fatigue

Headache

Back pain

Muscle ache

Joint pain

GI upset

Abdominal pain

Low sex drive

Cognitive Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Inattention

Impaired executive functioning

Impaired problem solving

Impaired neuroplasticity

Memory loss

Slow reaction time

Mood Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Bad mood

Low motivation

Loss of ambition

Loss of enjoyment in activities

Loss of will to live

Sleep disturbance

Loss of appetite

Psychotic Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Hallucinations

Delusions

Loss of touch with reality

Paranoia

When psychotic symptoms occur together with postpartum depression, this is known as 'Postpartum Psychosis'. It is critical to seek immediate support if such a situation arises.

Thought Distortions with Depression

Negative thoughts about oneself

Negative thoughts about others

Pessimistic thoughts about the future

Excessive guilt about the past

Low confidence in abilities

Low self-worth

Angry thoughts

Nihilistic thoughts

Suicidal thoughts

Existential angst

How can untreated Postpartum Depression Symptoms impact your Career?

Mothers experiencing postpartum depression may experience problems with:

Energy levels

Motivation levels

Attention

Concentration

Irritability

Engagement with colleagues

Reasoning and problem-solving abilities

Frustration tolerance

Productivity

They may require help to complete tasks, meet deadlines, or take excessive time off work. They may find themselves in conflict with colleagues and supervisors with whom they previously worked well.

Similarly, colleagues and supervisors may be perplexed, frustrated, and unsure of how to address the issue of change in a beloved colleague and friend. After all, nobody wants to be a "workplace bully" or impolite to a new mother.

Working mothers who suffer from PPD are also more likely to be passed over for promotion or even fired from their current jobs.

What is the Treatment for Postpartum Depression?

Finally, treatment for postpartum depression must address the underlying cause.

Check for medical causes of postpartum depression, including anemia, thyroid disease, Sheehan's syndrome, nutritional deficiencies, and polycystic ovarian syndrome

Establish sleep hygiene and work with a partner to schedule catch-up sleep times

Educate both the mother and the partner

Document workplace accommodations

Consider what assistance is required so the mother can continue working if desired or needs to take time off

Use available resources, such as childcare, and, if possible, contact family members, including grandparents

Nutritional supplementation, if necessary

Counseling on breastfeeding and other issues

Psychotherapy

Individual Psychotherapy

Medications if symptoms persist and interfere with social and occupational functioning

Alternative treatments include meditation, yoga, acupuncture, and exercise

Why is it important to get Treatment for Postpartum Depression?

Untreated postpartum depression symptoms can disrupt both your personal and professional lives. Consequences for babies include disruption of attachment and bonding, anxiety, failure to thrive, feeding difficulties, developmental delay, long-term relationship difficulties, cognitive impairment, failure to meet milestones, and difficulty with social or occupational functioning.

Effects of Postpartum Depression on Health

Significant drop in energy and motivation levels

Feelings of restlessness

Disrupted sleep cycles

Insufficient or excessive sleep

Chronic stomach issues, headaches, or body pain

Poor self-care

Help for Postpartum Depression

It is critical to seek treatment for postpartum depression. Untreated depression can have long-term consequences for academic performance, careers, relationships, and physical health.

Call +1(833)312-4222 for Postpartum Depression help. For more information, visit https://gabapsychiatrist.com/postpartum-depression-treatment/

Seek effective and barrier-free treatment from a board-certified and licensed Online Psychiatrist at Gaba Telepsychiatry.

[osscarh]

This is my first post ever and I thought maybe I could share a nice story with ya all. I've never really put it in complete order so it's time I do that.

As prelude, I own 3 cats. One of them, the oldest, is, at the time of writing this, 12 years old, with his papers noting that he was born the 6th of April 2012, 3 days after my dad's birthday. His name is Sacha, despite the vets who all name him Sasha (and also wrote that he's a girl for some reason? I mean he doesn't seem bothered but I don't think he understands English.) His name is kinda dumb but my bro named him. I prefer giving Egyptian names to my cats.

I got Sacha around 2015, I don't really remember which month. I was around 13 at the time and my first cat had just died. My mom was really feeling bad so we adopted Sacha from a center. His previous owners had placed him there cuz the lady got pregnant and apparently cats can mess with fetuses or something. Idk but I think his previous owners were lame cuz he stayed in that center for like 6 months and they took bad care of him. His claws grew in his paws, his fur got a lot of knots and he smelled really bad. He's half Persian so he needs a lot of care.

When he arrived home he was super sweet but really doing poorly. We toon him to the vet for his claws and hired a lady to remove his knots. He didn't like his new cut so the lady zooted him on I thinl weed? It was some drug, mfer has had more experiences with illicit substances than I and I'm kinda jealous tbh.

Sacha was my only cat for a while. My mom adopted Bagheera, a kitten born from one of her sister's cats when she divorced my dad around 2016 and Sacha stayed at my dad's place with me and my brother (the fucker who named him with such a lame name).

Anyway time passed, I lived my best life with my cat, took care of him, took him to vet every year for his vaccines (he goes outside), reconnected with my mom and adopted a kitten who was born in my mom's backyard and named him Settra. So that's why I have 3 cats. But back on track, in 2022 Sacha got an eye infection. We had to do a lot of ophtalmology to get it sorted and my mom helped a lot with that despite the fact that the cat wasn't even in her home. His eye's doing okay now but he needed new material be brought in his eye. Persians tend to be weak in eyes and nose.

Then when the summer vacations of 2023 ended, Sacha got sick. At first it was a minor cold so we didn't do anything, some snot in his nose, then around mid September he ate less. Come end of September and he was doing bad, still eating but always sneezing and his throat was inflamed. I brought him to the vet and he was given antibiotics that kinda helped.

By the beginning of October Sacha was doing pretty poorly and eating way less. He was always a fat cat so this concerned me a lot. The vet couldn't tell why the antibiotics weren't acting as he was supposed to have an infection so they gave him more and asked us to get a visit to a pet hospital 1h of travel away (Belgium is small, 1h of travel looks a lot for me but for American folks it's prilly shorert). So we did, got something planned for end of october. I wanted faster but they were full and he was still eating so not an emergency.

Meanwhile Sacha's health got worse. One of his eyes (not the one who had the surgery) couldn't open and he had little things in the part of forehead between his eyes that made a sort of scritchy sound when you ran your hand over it. Most concerningly, he wasn't eating. We (my mom and I) took him to another vet who did acupuncture with relative success, allowed Sacha to eat well for a day or two before going back to not eating.

I was getting really desperate so I mixed his food and fed him with a syringe for a week. I knew if my dad knew he wasn't eating, he'd suggest euthanasia as the costs of bringing a pet to the hospital are quite high. So I took his wet food, put it in my mom's mixer and mixed it for like 15 minutes when going back from school while dad was away, then cut it into even smaller bits and forcefed him with a syringe (his throat was super inflamed and small so he was probably in pain and I knew it but I couldn't stand to watch him thin like that).

On the 26th of October, we went to the hospital for him. My mom and I were reluctant to go there because it's an universitary hospital and we were kinda scared that he'd be put on life support and...I guess experimented on? We didn't want his life be prolonged if he was in constant pain but we went nonetheless. My mom took a day off work (again, she took a lot to get the cat to the vet) and I warned my Spanish teacher that I couldn't attend. She's a really sweet lady and I told her the story, she was super supportive.

The hospital was not all like we anticipated. The doctors were really charming and quite open with how much stuff cost. I speak French and the hospital staff spoke Dutch so we settled on English as a language to communicate with. Tirns out spending all that time playing dnd with strangers on discord paid off for me, I was able to talk with these docs no problem.

Of course without insurance it was expensive but it was doable to pay. They ran scans on Sacha and it was promising, they said he had an infection but had the right antibiotics for him. Since he didn't eat, they wanted to keep him there and we agreed. We gave our phone numbers and left.

When we visited Sacha the following day, they told us he had a lymphoma. It's blood cancer for those who dunno what that means (I certainly didn't till October). They asked us if we wanted to begin chemo.

I was fucking devastated. That cat had been with me through my parents' divorce, the death of family members, graduation, the lowest of my sick days and the brightest of my good days. I didn't want to leave him die of hunger without a fight.

My mom didn't have enough money to pay for it in full and my dad'd never use his money to pay for a cat's chemotherapy so I agreed to pay most of ot. I had a decent bit of money in a bank account, I basically never buy anything so pockeh money, student job money and birthday money stacked up. My dad'd never have allowed me to pay for that (neither him nor I even knew they had chemotherapy for cats) so I lied and said my mom paid for it.

He stayed at the hospital until the 31st of October, of course we visited him everyday and the hospital staff kept us informed with daily phonecalls to schedule a visit and tell us what was up. During that time (5 days since he arrived, 4 days since chemo started) they put a tube in his throat to feed him and started the chemo.

That. Shit. Worked. When we brought him home, he could open his eye again and even wanted to go for food (motherfucker do you know how much that tube costs?). He played with the other cats and we had a weekly checkup for him. I missed many Spanish classes. During his time at the center he really liked one doctor who calls him Sir and basically saved his life.

Of course he stayed at my mom's place. It was easier for feeding through his tube at first, my mom was in vacations and he needed 3 meals a day, then he stayed there. Wasn't gonna let him stay in the home of a person who'd let him die. I love my dad but fuck him for this. He admitted several times he'd have never brought my cat to that hospital (so he'd have left him die of cancer and hunger, poor cat was thinning by the day).

His tube was removed a month later and visits moved to once every 3 weeks. It's been continuing since then with me and my mom paying 50/50 for the costs. I missed a university travel to Athens because I couldn't afford it (something I'll never admit to my parents, I pretended there was drama and I didn't want to get involved) and I guess I won't leave the country this year. Honestly I'd have cut both arms to save that cat so it's a small price.

The people at the hospital love him too. He's really friendly so students can take his blood and try to take his heartbeat without worries. Problem is that he purrs too loud for a good lung listening to take place. Turns out Sacha loves getting pets and attention from groups of students and doctors who give him treats and headpats. He has done more drugs than me and has a better date game than me.

It's been quite a while now. Sacha's been doing really well and the recent reports note that he is in remission. I may have cried when I read that mail ngl. He goes outside and killed a big pigeon a few weeks ago. He plays with the other cats, he really likes Settra and for the first time in his life he does playfight. Bagheera likes him as a punching bag despite being smaller than him. My mom stays with him everyday and I visit half of the days of the week. He eats like a lion too, he went from 3 kilos to 4.7 kilos when he was last checked this Wednesday.

I guess this is a selfish post, it's kind of my way of both thanking the people who helped me like my mom, the docs and my Spanish teacher, without having to say thank you to their faces yet again, and a way of making my cat immortal in a way. Even with all the help, Sacha's gonna be gone one day, hopefully in a very long time. But this post'll remain for a while more so there'll be a trace of what humans did for that cat.

I also wanted to say that please don't be afraid to go to universitary pet hospitals if you have the means to afford it. It's a scary place, I didn't even know it existed but these people aren't out there vivisecting animals. They're really nice. And don't give up too early on stuff that matters to you, it's really worth to keep going, at least in this case.

And if you could do a few prayers for Sacha, that'd genuinely mean a lot to me.

Anyway here is the cat tax. I've included quite a few pics so this post can be even longer than it is.

Sacha as he was before he got sick:

Sacha as he was in October:

(Don't mind his lack of fur that's because he had too many knots and drastic measures had to be taken)

Sacha as he is now:

Sacha with Bagheera, on their favorite blankets.

Sacha and Settra begging to go outside (it's raining! I open the door and they don't leave!)

I love you, you dumb orange fuck.

[mandana-the-service-pup]

Mandana’s orthopedic consultation was not fun. Yesterday the neurologist offered to have his colleague look her over to make sure the back pain wasn’t an orthopedic issue. I was really happy to have another expert check her out before going ahead with the MRI.

What I wasn’t expecting was to be gaslit by an old white guy and his apprentice. From start to finish we were with him for 15 minutes. In that time I could only tell him a fraction of the problem and her medical history surrounding it before he declared Mandana perfectly healthy and “there’s nothing wrong with her” and “that’s just a sensitive spot on dogs, like between their toes”

She may not be in pain this morning but chronic back pain is something she has been dealing with since at least 2022. We’ve done massage, stretches, canine conditioning classes, acupuncture, chiropractor, red laser therapy, NSAIDs, Low Dose Naltrexone and now Librela. You can’t tell me I’ve been making it up this whole time and she’s actually fine. I watch her back twitch and her fur stand up in that spot. I feel the obvious heat coming from that area when she’s having a pain flare. I witness how she stops playing abruptly, avoids activity, has trouble sleeping and swings her head back towards her back when it hurts. I KNOW she is in pain.

So yeah I cried in the parking lot. I appreciate him checking her out. He didn’t charge me for the appointment even though I offered to pay. The neurologist is still moving forward with the MRI. He is a lot more convinced of her issues and that’s all that matters at this point. As far as pain management goes, the Librela injections are helping so much and she has her second scheduled for two weeks from now. She is able to do more and go longer without pain, so the MRI is to make sure we aren’t missing anything that could be made worse by her increased activity now that she’s feeling better.

I’m really hopeful the Librela will help and we can finally move past this. I know what it’s like to live in pain and it doesn’t matter if she can do mobility tasks or not I don’t want her limited because of this. Her appointment is scheduled for 8:15 am Thursday morning. She has separation anxiety at the vet so I made sure she will be first in line. I won’t be able to stay with her for the sedation in this scenario but she will be taken straight back to do the MRI so she won’t have to wait around in their kennels.

[bangpop91]

The Visitor

It had been a calm shift, or as calm as any shift at the 118 has ever been. So Vincent's arrival at the end of shift had been unexpected to say the least.

Bobby was in his office filling out the after action reports when B shift's probie knocked on his office door informing him he had a visitor. He thought it might have been Tommy, whom he had heard through the 118's rumor mill had been ring shopping. Or Athena to update him on the construction of their new home, maybe May checking in after class. He had not expected it to be the older captain carrying two cups of coffee.

Read the rest under the cut or one AO3

“Vincent, what brings you by?” He asked minimizing the report he'd been writing so as to give the other man his full attention, accepting the drink with a smile that Gerrard didn't return. He sometimes wonders If the man knows how to smile.

“I was hoping to” The older man paused, seemingly looking for the right words he took a seat across from Bobby. “talk.” He said trailing off again as Bobby took a drink. His face must have given away his surprise that Gerrard had gotten his coffee order right. “I asked one of the PAs about your order.” Bobby nodded by way of acceptance letting the man in front of him gather his thoughts.

“I never thanked you for getting me the job on Hotshots when you returned to the 118.” Gerrard started slowly, meeting Bobby's eyes.

“No thanks necessary, it seemed like you would have been happier there.” This time it was Gerrard nodding.

“And I am. I was getting ready to retire, but I wasn't ready to stop working. I don't know what I would do with myself if I wasn't working.” Gerrard continued on twisting the paper cup he was holding between his hands. “Those months back with the 118 were a painful reminder that I'm not as young as I used to be.”

“Funny how time sneaks up on us.” Bobby murmured knowing the feeling all to well, remembering the almost debilitating back pain he had experienced in the wake of surviving the cruise ship which had led him to giving acupuncture a try. Gerrard hummed before continuing,

“And it was nice knowing I wouldn't miss another holiday with Sandy, our kids and grandkids. How easy it was to get the day off for Jackson's high-school graduation. I finally feel like I'm enjoying my golden years.” Bobby wonders if, when, he will reach that point. When he and Athena will want those things, what it will look like for them.

“Sandy is retired, right?” Bobby knew that Gerrard's wife had been a teacher, but he can't say he knew much about Gerrard, or his family. They'd never met prior to the award ceremony, and they hadn't had a reason for their paths to cross again until Bobby needed Vincent's help to help the Wilson family.

“She is, but she stays busy. mostly with volunteering at different schools and our church. She's started taking on work as a para and a substitute during the pandemic.” Bobby remembers the articles about teacher shortages and can't help but wonder how Gerrard felt about his wife going back to work when she was at high risk for contacting Covid “Anyway, I don't really know what I'd do if I actually retired, there's only so much golf a man can play.” That startled a laugh out of Bobby.

He can't say golfing has ever been a favorite pastime of his, but he imagines that he would get bored of fishing after a couple weeks of retirement. He'd be climbing the wall after a month.

“I'm glad that you are happy at Hotshots and that there are no hard feelings between us. But really, you don't need to thank me. I owed it to you for throwing in the 118 to help Hen and Karen.” Bobby means it, getting Gerrard the tv job was the least he could do.

“Ortiz had no right to punish that little girl, or use me to punish Wilson, all because she was rewriting history because of her grief.” Gerrard paused, sighing, “And honestly Kyle was a entitled shithead, it is only by God's grace he didn't kill the passengers in the other vehicle that night.” The silence between them is somber in that moment as Bobby repeats Gerrard's sentiment.

“By God's grace.” He whispers. He thinks the conversation must be over. And yet Vincent sighs, it's heavy like he is carrying a mighty weight he and he doesn't know how to put it down.

“I didn't come here to discuss all of that though.” Gerrard admits scrubbing a wrinkled hand over his face. Bobby raised an eyebrow, unsure what else the two men could have to talk about since at best they are acquaintances.

“I know it isn't a secret that I'm not a fan of your whole shucksie doodles farm boy thing.” No it definitely wasn't a secret that Gerrard thinks Bobby is too soft. But the feeling goes both ways as it isn't a secret that Bobby doesn't approve of the other captain's old guard hard ass approach to leadership. He's also very confused as to why Gerrard looks so stressed about a conversation about differences in leadership style. Or why Gerrard would want to have a conversation about it.

“I'm aware.” Bobby says treading carefully, but it's almost like the older Captain didn't hear him. Bobby isn't sure what is eating at Gerrard, but it makes the other man look so much older than he is, he looks weary in a way that Bobby didn't know the other man could be.

“Even though I don't like how you lead your team, I respect you. Especially after seeing that you do in fact have a backbone made of steel.” Bobby let's Vincent ramble, wondering what had happened to cause him to seek Bobby out. “I wanted to talk to you about this man to man.” Gerrard sighs again.

“What's going on Vincent?” He asks when the other man trails off again looking out the window.

“Have you talked to Brad Torrance since returning to the 118?” Bobby wasn't sure what he was expecting this conversation to be about, but he hadn't been expecting it to be about Brad.

“Yeah, he calls me occasionally with questions about the job.” Bobby pauses, “Can I ask why?”

“Maybe I'm being old and paranoid.” Gerrard takes a deep breath looking back at Bobby, “But my gut tells me something is very off with him. He's been obsessive about you.” The statement took Bobby by surprise, Brad was an odd duck sure, and a massive diva. And intense in a way that Bobby assumes is normal for actors who go the whole method acting route. But he'd never gotten the impression that Brad is dangerous.

“What, uh, what makes you say that?” Bobby asks in disbelief.

“It started with him asking about you service record, the calls you've been on, your biggest saves. Then asking about your relationships with Buckley and Athena. Yesterday after filming the season finale's big emergency he started asking me specifically about Buckley and Sargent Grant. And I've heard him speaking to other people in what I assume is him attempting your accent.” Gerrard trailed off again, lost in thought. “Like I said, just a gut feeling. But I felt like it was my duty to make you aware, just in case.”

This was a lot of information, Bobby doesn't know what to do with it, let alone where to start with processing that information. He knows he'll have to talk to Athena. And Buck. But it is still a lot.

“Thank you for the warning.” Bobby says still trying to process all the information Gerrard had brought him as the two men descend into silence.

“I should let you finish your reports so you can get home.” Gerrard finally says standing up, coffee still in hand. “I'm sure you'd like to get home to your family.” Bobby stood shaking Gerrard's hand, thanking him again for the coffee, and the heads up.

When he walked out of the station, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched the entire way home.

This little one shot is based around my theory about the show paying homage to the movie Single, White Female, and centering it around Bobby and Brad. I am open to taking prompts right now, if anyone has any.

[haulaway]

Hi, gang!

I'm still around! Still working at [Blue Home Improvement Store]!

My leg tendonitis(es) cleared up and now I have wicked tennis elbow. I'm getting acupuncture for that since that worked so well for my TMJ several years ago. I'm also waiting on an injection treatment from the sports med doc.

I can't even knit or crochet right now because it aggravates things. I'm craft-ually frustrated about that.

I started an online museum studies certificate program last week. It's okay so far, but the single weekly Zoom class clashes with Crits and Knits which is quite a bummer. We're going to try to "write me off" by prerecording an ep or two instead of doing it live. This museum program goes until June.

Other than all that, life is just kind of at a stall. I don't have any hyperfixations at the moment. No shows or movies I'm passionate about since OFMD got canceled. So I just really don't think about opening Tumblr most of the time. :/

Anyway, just wanted to catch you up a bit. Hope you are well. Take care. <3

[beasiannow]

As a birthday surprise, Ginger Swan had signed herself and her Grandmother, Lucille Swan, up for a nine-day excursion to the island of Singapore.

Her grandmother had often said that at least one time in her life, she wanted to go somewhere where she didn’t speak the language and knew nothing about the place.

So when she came across something called “Welcome Singapore Friend!” it seemed to fit the bill.

Frankly, Ginger was not really sure about all the details regarding the trip. Most of the pamphlet was in Chinese, with the parts in English clearly translated by someone who needed more practice learning to translate.

But the pictures were all colorful and beautiful and full of happy-looking people, and the price was fantastic, so she signed them up.

As a birthday surprise, Ginger Swan had signed herself and her Grandmother, Lucille Swan, up for a nine-day excursion to the island of Singapore.

Her grandmother had often said that at least one time in her life, she wanted to go somewhere where she didn’t speak the language and knew nothing about the place.

So when she came across something called “Welcome Singapore Friend!” it seemed to fit the bill.

Frankly, Ginger was not really sure about all the details regarding the trip. Most of the pamphlet was in Chinese, with the parts in English clearly translated by someone who needed more practice learning to translate.

But the pictures were all colorful and beautiful and full of happy-looking people, and the price was fantastic, so she signed them up.

Later, people whom they assumed to be tour guides came and led them to various places.

It seemed to be mostly on two or three streets with names like Street of the Dancing Cloud, Way of the Thunder Strike, and 打倒白人 Street.

There they were plied with strange tasting teas and stranger smelling herb baths and long intense acupuncture sessions and other things that they were not sure what was being done for or to them.

They asked questions, but if the people doing it spoke any English, they never let on about it.

And so the strange week and two days went on, getting progressively stranger and stranger, until at last they were put in front of an overpowering light show that apparently had lasted for hours as it had started at night, and they were greeted by someone saying.

“Good morning, new neighbors. You are ready!”

“Ready for what?” asked Ginger Swan, relieved that at last someone was speaking and she could understand them.

“Ready, Miss Swan for you and your Grandmother’s new life.” At that point, Ginger realized that the woman had addressed her not as Miss Swan but as Miss Tiān'é and her grandmother as zumu, Manchurian for swan and grandmother!

That’s when Ginger Swan, or as she would from now on be known, Tiān'é Jiāng, took a look to her left and saw a confused elderly Chinese woman whom she realized was her Granny Lucille, or rather her Zumu Lui.

“I know the adjustment can be a bit stressful,” said the woman. Just go back to Welcome Singapore Citizen HQ, and they will help.”

It was there, standing outside what they had thought of as the Welcome Singapore Friends building, but was really a misinterpretation of Welcome New Singapore Citizens, that they were able to get the full story, which was displayed in large, friendly easy to read characters next to the entrance (in Manchurian of course, which the pair found they now both could read and speak) that the mission of the WNSC was to induct people around them as full Han Chinese citizens of Singapore.

Which is what Tiān'é Jiāng and Tiān'é Lui were now.

“Looks like we will be staying longer than nine days, after all, Zumu,” said Jiāng.

[kittyt-hexxed]

Grayson’s True Prodigy - Chapter Eleven: The Noxian War Begins

Warnings: War, Fighting, Death, Scars, Loss of Eyesight, Loss of Wings

Summary: Noxus invades Ionia and it’s time to fight to save the Wilds. You were prepared to lose your life but you lose something else in an effort to save a life.

One morning, you woke up with a pounding headache that didn’t go away. You tried everything that you could from herbal teas to modern medication, even requesting an acupuncture session with one of the healers. The headache carried on for two weeks, growing in intensity at times and forcing you to sequester yourself in a dark room. This made you and the others nervous, unsure of what was happening or what could cause a reaction like this. Your answer to the matter came in the form of your Uncle June.

The front doors of the monastery slammed open while you were hanging up lanterns one evening. You let out a shriek and drop the lantern when you see your Uncle June leaning against a man, dripping blood on the foyer. The crash of the lantern made you flinch as you rush to support your uncle’s other side.

“HEALER TILLY!” You scream as you throw your uncle’s arm over your shoulder, “Uncle June, hold on! We’ll get you some help!” You plead to him as his unfocused eyes flutter. You hear the footsteps coming from down the hall and you guide the other man towards the medical ward.

“What happened?” You urgently question the man, “How did he get this injured?”

“Fae’lor was attacked by the Noxians. We fought them off for a week before June insisted on coming to Hirana.” The man said, “He took the brunt of the attack… the fool.” He whispers. Some monks come running to you with a stretcher, and you carefully lay your uncle on it. Shocked mutters break out among them when they recognize your uncle and they take off to the medical ward. You take a moment to check over the other man and notice that he’s limping. With a huff, you help support him as he gives you a surprised look.

“Oh, don’t give me that face.” You scold him, “You’re injured. Even if I don’t know who you are, you brought my uncle home safely. We don’t turn people away from the monastery when they’re in need.”

“My name is Valor. I am another one of the Sun Dancers at Fae’lor… or, I was.” Valor sighs and shakes his head, “Not many of us survived the siege, but those that did have fled to warn others. Fae’lor will not be the first, nor the last.” You enter the medical ward and flag down another healer.

“We will continue this conversation after you’ve had some rest, hm?” You hand him off to the healer, “Relax. You’re in good hands.” You say when you see a nervous expression flit across his face. He nods and you leave to go find your grandmothers in order to tell them of what’s going on. When you find them, you see one of the monks from earlier already talking with them. They rush in your direction, Grandmother Jess grabbing your wrist on her way past you. You let out a small yelp as you’re dragged along with them.

“Tell me what you know.” Grandmother Teylin demands.

“He’s injured badly. From what I saw, his chest and arms were wounded the most. Thanks to the armor he’s wearing, that kept him from bleeding out before he could get here.” You inform them, wiping the blood from around your neck.

“Do you know how he got injured?” Grandmother Haruli glances at you.

“His friend said that they…” You hesitate, “were attacked by Noxians, Grandmother. He said that Fae’lor has been seized.” They suddenly stop midstride and turn to you with matching expressions. Your eyes go wide as Grandmother Teylin grips your shoulder tightly and tugs you closer.

“Noxians?” Grandmother Teylin hisses, “Are you sure that’s what he said?”

“Yes, Grandmother. The spirits heard what he said, too.” You nod. They share a glance between the three of them before they continue their walk, a little slower now.

“Give me the full explanation.” Grandmother Teylin demands.

“Valor said that they fought the Noxians for a week before Uncle June said he must warn us of the attack. He said that Uncle June took the brunt of the attack, but he was unable to tell me more before a healer came to get him.” You fidget with your fingers. The medical ward opens up in front of you and you perk up when you see your uncle sitting up in bed.

“Uncle June!” You gasp and run over to him, “You’re okay!” He turns his head and his eyes soften when he sees you. You gently embrace him and he pats your shoulder in an effort to return the hug.

“I am no longer in critical condition, but I am to remain bedridden for a while.” Uncle June smiles at you.

“June.” Grandmother Haruli grabs ahold of his hand as tears glisten in her eyes, “What happened to you my sweet Juniper? Why have you come to us in this condition?”

“Ma.” Uncle June tries to lean forward, but hisses in pain when he does, “Fae’lor was attacked by the Noxians over a week ago. The warriors fought to keep them away, but they couldn’t hold on long enough. I joined the battle and used my Sun Dancing, but I channeled too much of the sunlight and shattered my crystals. They caught me when the light died but Valor saved me.” He motions to the man asleep on one of the beds. ‘He would be exhausted after going so many nights without sleep and trekking west with an injured friend. He’s more than earned his rest.’

“It’s as we’ve feared for years now.” Grandmother Haruli sighs, “The Noxians have come to take our home.”

“We mustn't let them. They have no respect for the land or its customs. They’ll destroy the First Lands and all of us within it!” Uncle June cries out and he’s shushed.

“We must keep a close eye on the situation, and if it comes to it… we must prepare to defend the monastery.” Grandmother Teylin says sternly, “But, we cannot forsake our duties right now. The spirit realm might need us now more than ever.”

“Uncle June…?” You tap his hand, “You said over a week ago… What day did they attack Fae’lor?”

“Um… May 8th, I believe. Sometime in the early morning.” Uncle June responds, “Why do you ask, Y/n?”

“May 8th…” You trail off as it all clicks into place. You feel your blood run cold and you take a shaky breath, “May 8th is when my headaches started… and if the timelines match up… I think I found the reason for them.”

~

The headaches didn’t go away as time went on but they fluctuated greatly. Some days it was a dull ache and other days you were bedridden from the pain. Along with it, more news came from all over Ionia about Noxian warriors slaughtering villages and forcing them to give up. The spirits came to you in droves, telling you of where the Noxian troops were, what villages were taken out, and which ones chose to relent. You ended up on the floor of your room, surrounded by candles as you chose to open your connection to the land.

What flashed into your mind were horrors so great that it made your stomach churn. You could feel the people and animals dying, and hear their screams and cries for their families, as the Noxians brutally cut down their enemies. Your headache had vanished but in its place was something much worse. Your people were being killed and it angered you. Your body trembled in barely concealed rage as you got up from the floor and yanked your door open. You could feel your very soul ignite as you stomped through the halls to the place you knew your grandmothers would be. You could feel it. You could feel your soul begging you to go out and protect the land. Something deep within you snarled in rage and mourned the loss of these creatures, and you wanted to do nothing more than to protect your home.

“I’m going to fight!” You shout as you slide the door open and glare into the room. Your grandmothers were seated with your uncle and Valor around a tea set. They looked at you in surprise as you shut the door and continued your march into the room.

“I can feel it. I can feel and see everything going on! They’re hurting the land, they’re slaughtering families, and I can’t take it!” You sob as the rage and grief become too much for you, “I’m going and you can’t stop me.” You hiss as you stop by the table. Your family exchanges glance for a moment before looking at you. You tense, not knowing what to expect them to say, but it definitely wasn’t what followed.

“Then you must take your vows.” Grandmother Jess stands up, “We’ll do it right now so you can head out as soon as you’d like.” You blink in shock and exchange an appalled glance with Valor.

“Wait. You’re going to let me go? Just like that?” You shake your head in disbelief.

“You’re old enough to know that you want. You’ve connected to the spirit realm and you know more about your magic than you did before.” Grandmother Haruli points out.

“You… are like our Gray in more ways than you think, Y/n. We knew that this news might affect you, but we had no clue how intimately you were involved.” Grandmother Teylin sighs and places her tea down, “So, you will take your vows… and then you may go.”

“I’m ready for my vows?” You nervously ask, “I thought those took years to work to?”

“As we said all those years ago, you’re a special child.” Grandmother Jess takes your hand and guides you to the lunar platform, “You are more ready than you believe.” You nervously kneel down, rest your hands on your thighs and look up to the moon. ‘I am ready. I’m ready to join you, mama. Ancestors. In this mission.’ You take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Spirits, ancestors… Gods. I come before you with a young disciple who has bridged the worlds and is prepared to do anything to protect it. I ask that you grace her with the title of Shaman and welcome her into your arms so she may do what she knows best. Protect and heal.” Grandmother Jess calls out to the wilds. You watch as the stars around the moon seem to twinkle and flash brighter than normal. ‘I have to say my vows. Whatever I say will be judged, so it’s best if I speak from the heart.’

“I vow to protect not only the Lands but those who reside within it. I vow to heal the broken and damaged spirits within my reach. I vow to protect and restore the bridge between realms so that we may all live in harmony.” You declare, feeling the words being pulled out of you, “I will do everything within my power to keep this Land at peace.” You feel the magic of the wilds whirl around you and heat sears into your forehead. You hiss in pain and your grandmother gently cups your face with a smile.

“Welcome, Shaman Y/n.” Grandmother Jess whispers.

~

After leaving the monastery, you traveled miles to the one place that could get your message out the fastest. You land by the stump of what used to be the God-Willow and approach it. You could feel the protectors of the Greenglade watching your every move, but you knew they wouldn’t attack you. They are aware of your heritage and understand that you would never harm the glade. You were here for a reason, and that was to call all of the animals of the wilds to you. You were unsure of how long this war would last or if the Ionians would even win, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You had vowed to protect Ionia and that’s what you were going to do. So, with a deep breath, you reach out and touch the stump. You push your magic into it and you can feel the echoes of the power it once held within it. ‘Poor thing. Maybe one day I could restore it.’ You dig deeper before letting your magic ring out through the land. With every pulse you send out, the farther it travels until it reaches the farthest corners of the archipelago.

You open your eyes and step onto the willow before calling out your staff and holding it into the air. You search within you for the spark that connects you to the spirit realm and let it grow until it fills your body. The world lights up around you as you twirl your staff in a complicated pattern. A whoosh of energy forms behind you and you turn to see a portal to the spirit wilds. You grin when you catch sight of Naveen bounding towards you in his dog form. The Yirlaj headbutts your stomach and you stroke his fur with a pleasant smile.

“You have been gone a while!” Naveen gives you the puppy eyes, “It's been weeks! Maybe even months!”

“It's only been a few days for me, Naveen.” You chuckle, “But I have a request for you.”

“What is it?” Naveen tilts his head.

“Will you watch over the creatures I send through? They’re very important to me.” You pat his head as animals appear out of thin air. You step aside as they head through the portal and you feel hope rise in your chest.

“For you? I will. I’m sure the pixies will be happy to watch the Priestess’ creations.” Naveen teases you and you swat him with a huff. As more animals vanish into the portal, others appear in the place they once were.

“Shush you. You know I find that prospect embarrassing.” You cross your arms as he chuckles.

“You have a mark upon your brow.” Naveen tilts his head, “A spiral sun. You have become an illuminator.” You brush your fingers over the fading gold mark. It’s supposed to disappear and become visible to spirits and those who are touched by them.

“An… illuminator.” You raise an eyebrow, “That’s what you call your Shamans, then? Yes, I am one.” You nod.

“Good. It suites a caring spirit like you.” Naveen praises you, “I must head inside and tell the others. I will return.” Naveen heads back into the portal to let his pack and the pixies know about what’s happening. What the pixies have said to you still makes you feel strange. You don’t feel like the entity they said that you are. ‘I suppose it’ll happen over time…’

The sound of wings has you looking up into the sky. Your eyes widen when you see a cluster of dragons approach you and one breaks off from the group. As the dragon gets closer, you realize that it’s Sav’ven and grin.

“Young fae, my kind and I have heard your message. Is it true? Do you believe that Ionia may not be safe for us any longer?” Sav’ven rumbles.

“Ionia has gone to war, my friend. I am not sure what to expect, but I do not want Ionia to become lost. As long as some part of it survives, then it shall remain. My plan is to keep you all safe. You may stay here if you wish, or you may join them within the pocket realm I have created. I think your kind would find something to learn from the spirit wilds.” You explain to him. You knew that the dragons and certain creatures may not accept your proposal, but you sent it regardless. ‘I hope they accept.’ You nervously fidget with your staff. Sav’ven stares at you for a moment before flying back over to his cluster. You continue to greet the other animals as they debate their decision, glancing into the portal to see Ionian plants growing inside. ‘Even if I can’t save everyone, I will save as much as I can.’ It felt amazing to use your magic to this extent. It felt relaxing and helped to loosen the tense muscles in your body. You could still feel all of the death around you but you tried to focus on the moment.

Sav’ven approaches you once more and you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. He stares at you with a critical eye before huffing and glancing back at his cluster.

“We accept your offer, young fae. We shall send our young ones through for safety along with a variation of the rest of us.” Sav’ven informs you. You gasp and let out a happy squeal before throwing your arms over his snout. Sav’ven snorts as he tries to contain his laughter. You knew he was fond of you even though he didn’t want to admit it out loud. So, with that, the next few hours were spent making sure everyone got into the portal safely.

~

After a year of fighting, you felt uneasy as Monks from all over Ionia fell back to the Monastery as Noxian forces closed in on your home. You ran around securing as much as you could in your home, going as far as creating a small pocket realm to hide the valuable artifacts from Noxian eyes. You were more nervous about this fight than the others you had been in. You’ve never taken a life. You would be fighting within close range in a closed space, and while you trained for that… your family would be fighting with you. You wouldn’t be able to use some of your powers for fear of damaging the place, so you were limited in what you could do. You had already taken a moment to have a heart-to-heart with your family, telling them the things you wish you had the courage to do sooner.

“Attention everyone.” Grandmother Teylin calls out, “The Noxians will be at our doorstep at any moment. I am no fool to believe that we’ll all make it out alive or in one piece. With that in mind, I hope that if you leave this realm, the spirits will guide you to the next. Tonight, we protect not only our home but the knowledge of it as well.” She bows and you and the monks bow in return. You turn and look at the doors as a wave of hostility washes over you. ‘Everyone on the steps is… gone.’ You grit your teeth as you transform.

“They’re here!” You shout as the doors get blown open. Screams sound as the splinters from the doors go flying through the air. You swallow hard as you see a large man walk through the dust and you crouch down. The Noxian lets out a warcry, striking a chord in you and you let out one in return. A horde of Noxians rush into the building but you snarl and throw an energy ball at them. There are shouts as it hits, blasting them back and out of the building. Yet, as soon as the door was clear, more of them came pouring in.

You threw yourself into the fight, fueled by your rage and urge to protect your home. Things were happening so fast that you couldn’t keep up. After you knocked down one opponent, another took their place and you found yourself getting forced back. The woman you were facing was skilled but she left herself open for a perfectly placed weapon. ‘Even the best hand-to-hand fighter can become sloppy if they’re too confident.’ You growl, tearing your staff out of your hair and skewering the woman. She gapes at you as she falls to her knees and you yank your staff out of her. It turns back into a clip and you slip it into your hair. There’s no time to process that you took your first life. Breathing heavily, you take the brief moment of freedom to look around. Your heart aches seeing dead monks on the floor or slumped against the walls. Your eyes land on the terrifying scene of your Grandmother Haruli about to get struck. She was weakly trying to protect herself but you could see how injured she is. She wouldn’t be able to dodge this blow.

“NO!” You scream and launch yourself at them. All of your rationality went out of the window as you slid between her and her attacker. You throw your arms around her, pulling her down and protecting her body with yours. You can feel her go limp in your arms as you do. A scream forces its way out of your lips as you feel something impact your back. An agonizing pain radiates from your spine as you’re jerked back. You suddenly remember to use your magic but the impact comes again, spinning your mind into a frenzy. Your breath is knocked out of you and all you can do is tremble in pain as black spots begin to cloud your vision. You’re vaguely aware of another impact against your back, but you can’t process it. ‘Is this how I die? Holding onto my grandmother as my home is torn from my hands?’ Unable to move the rest of your body, you force your hand up and pull from your magic stores. You take aim at some Noxian warriors that come in through the doorway. ‘Nature can be so cruel.’ You chuckle weakly, vision blurring briefly. Then you realize that the soldiers have yet to move into the fight. Your eyes widen when you see a very familiar dragon spirit flare into view. There’s a burst of light and heat that forces you to close your eyes, but you feel too weak to open them again. ‘Dragon fire… Lee Sin… You came.’ You think before your consciousness fades.

~

When you open your eyes, all you can think about is the sheer amount of pain you’re in. Your gaze lands on your Uncle June who’s slouched and fast asleep in the chair next to you. ‘It’s nighttime.’ You think as your eyes wander around the area. The windows of the medical ward were open and letting a cool breeze into the room. Your mind felt fuzzy and you were sure it was from the pain. The sound of footsteps catches your attention and your eyes dart to the entrance. The doors open and the first thing you see is Lee Sin’s dragon spirit, followed by a few other unknown animal spirits. The dragon comes straight towards you and affectionately nuzzles your chin as the other ones cautiously stay back.

“He- llo.” You painfully rasp out as a smile slides onto your face. You see Lee Sin come in through the door with another man who is unfamiliar to you. You wanted to say something but a wave of pain washes over you and you cry out instead. Your action startles your uncle awake and grabs the attention of the two other men. The rush over to you as your uncle darts over to the medicine counter and grabs a bottle.

“Y/n.” Lee Sin says when he arrives next to you, “I’m relieved to know that you’re awake.” Your eyes widen when you see the bandages wrapped over his eyes.

“Here, sweet flower.” Uncle June comes over to you with a glass of yellow tea, “This will stop the pain for a while.” He explains and you’re helped up as you drink from the glass. It hurt at first but quickly started to dull as the tea settles into your system. With a sigh, you lay back against your pillows and gather your strength to speak. ‘My mind feels clearer, too.’

“What… happened?” You shakily lift your arm to brush against Lee Sin’s face, “Hurt?”

“I channeled the dragon spirit during the battle and lost my eyesight in the process. I’m steadily learning how to use the spirit realm to help me see.” Lee Sin responds. You nod your head and glance questioningly at the man next to him, “That is Udyr. He is a friend who helped during the battle.”

“You’re… a… spiritwalker.” You state and Udyr nods.

“Y/n.” You turn to your uncle, “There’s something you need to know. You’ve been kept unconscious for the last month while your wounds from the battle healed.”

“A month.” You blink. ‘I’ve been asleep for a month? They must have given me a sleeping tonic.’

“Yes, but that’s not all, sweet flower… um… You died that day.” Uncle June hesitates before telling you the truth, “There was so much blood and we rushed you here, but you died in my arms.”

“Oh.” Your words fail you. That wasn’t what you were expecting to hear. ‘I… died. Wait, but if I died, how am I alive?’

“Uncle, how did I come back?” You fidget with the blanket over you.

“That, my sweet girl, is the part that confuses us all.” Grandmother Teylin says as she approaches you, “After Juniper put you down, you started glowing. A scalding heat radiated off of you and we had to move away before we got burned by being too close.”

“Whatever happened healed your wounds, but the scarring has remained.” Grandmother Jess pats your leg. You frown at the sight of her missing antler. You close your eyes and try to remember what happened during the battle but you couldn’t.

“Grandmothers… what happened? You talk about wounds but I don’t remember what happened.” You gaze at them anxiously. They exchange a glance before sighing heavily and sitting on the bed. Their reactions only made you more anxious, especially when your uncle drops his head.

“Sometime during the fight, you went over to assist your Grandmother Haruli. We’re not sure how it happened, but you took an axe to the spine.” You feel your blood run cold, “You should have been killed with that blow.” Grandmother Jess says sadly.

“One of the monks… witnessed what happened after that.” Grandmother Teylin clears her throat, “There’s no easy way to say this but… they cut out your wings.” You stare at your grandmother for a moment before shaking your head.

“No, no that can’t be true. My wings- My wings can’t be gone.” As the panic sets in, your breathing comes out short, “No. No.” You choke and cough as you try to breathe through the tears. ‘I couldn’t have lost my wings. Those are the one things that made me feel like me. They’re a part of me. They can’t be gone. They can’t be.’ Your family embraces you as you mourn the loss of your wings. Even Lee Sin takes a hold of your hand with a gentle disposition.

“A-And grandmother?” You mutter, “What about her? Is she…?”

“Your grandmother is alive, thanks to you.” Grandmother Jess calms your worries, “She’s going through physical therapy for the injuries to her shoulder, but she’s alive. She wanted to come to see you, but she feels ashamed for being the cause of your death.”

“That’s ridiculous!” You shout and shift in agitation, “I did that on my own, she shouldn’t blame herself.”

“We know, sweet girl.” Your grandmother strokes your hair as you wipe away your tears. ‘At least she’s alive. I don’t know what I would have done if she was dead.’

“We’ll let you rest, okay?” Grandmother Jess pats your legs and stands. With a kiss on your forehead, they all leave the medical ward. You glance down at your hands and clench the blanket in them. ‘My wings are gone. Gone. I’ll never fly again.’

“Y/n?” A soft voice calls to you. You look up and give Cardin a watery smile. His hair is longer than the last time you saw him and he looked more mature, too.

“Hey, Cardin.” You hold out your hand and he takes it, placing a kiss on the back, “You’ve grown.”

“So have you.” Cardin says delicately, “I heard what happened and left the front lines to see you. I had to make sure you were okay.”

“I-I’ve lost my wings, Cardin. They were taken from me.” You say miserably, “I’ll never fly again.” Cardin gasps and grips your hand tighter.

“Did you see who? I swear I’ll hunt them down!” Cardin snarls in anger but deflates when you shake your head. It touched you to see him so angry for you. Cardin has been there for you since you came to the monastery. He and his father are regulars when they’re not on their hunts. Sometimes even taking up positions as personal bodyguards for the Hiranas.

“I didn’t but… could you help me to the mirror? I… wish to see the scars.” You hesitantly request.

“Are you sure?” Cardin asks softly.

“Yes. I must.” You respond and he nods. Cardin is gentle with you as he helps you off of the bed. Your back is stiff after a month of being bedridden, and partially because of the scarring. You wince as you stand up straight and Cardin carefully supports you to the mirror. He helps you turn your back to it before grabbing the handheld mirror on the counter. Wordlessly, he hands it to you and you clutch it in your hands. ‘If I don’t look, I won’t know the extent of the damage. Come on, Y/n. You can do this.’ You encourage yourself before taking a deep breath.

You lift the mirror and stare in horror at the sight of your back. ‘Oh, dear Gods.’ You whimper and shakily brush your fingertips over the scar. Three long, thick, hypertrophic scars ran down your back. One directly over your spine and the others where your wings used to be. The discolored marks stood out underneath your tattoo but added to it in a strange way. ‘They’re right. I shouldn’t be alive.’ You continue to stare at your scars until Cardin lowers the mirror.

“Come. Let’s get you back into bed.” Cardin fixes your hospital gown and leads you back to the bed. ‘What does he think of them? Does he hate it? Does he think they make me look gross?’ You worry as he tucks you in and kisses your forehead.

“And Y/n?” Cardin taps your cheek, “Those scars show your dedication to your family. Don’t hate them. They’re a sign of who you are… Hate the person who tried to take your family from you.” He says and the tears start falling again, “Because… I think those scars only add to your beauty.”

~

It had only been a few days but you were going crazy. The loss of your wings upset you but it enraged you more than anything. The moment you felt strong enough, you grabbed your katana and marched to the practice area. With your staff in one hand and katana in the other, you viciously attacked the training dummies. You felt weak. You were angry at yourself for failing the monks and your family. ‘I died! If it wasn’t by some stroke of luck, I’d be stuck in the spirit realm for all I know! I can’t fail. I can't fail again. Wings or not, I will fight!’ The fourth training dummy falls to the ground in pieces when you hear someone cough. Breathing heavily, mostly from your anger, you snap your head in their direction.

The words you were going to hurl at the interrupter die in your throat when you see Leah leaning in the doorway. You hadn’t seen her in a while since you separated and she went to fight on the front. You felt the anger drain out of you at the sight of your girlfriend alive and healthy. Leah says nothing as she approaches you, the good luck charm you had given her hangs at her throat. You notice that her left eye is milky white and adorned with a thick scar. ‘She lost the vision in her eye.’ You feel your stomach twist. She wraps her arms around you and you break. You cry as she pulls you closer and tenderly strokes your back. She whispers sweet words in your ear as you do and you couldn’t be more thankful for her.

“It’s okay.” Leah whispers, “I’ve got a gnarly scar too.” She steps back and points at her eye. You brush your thumb over her cheek with a frown before kissing her.

“I was so worried.” You sigh, “And I’m sure you were too when you heard about me.”

“I was so pissed off that I ripped all of the water out of my opponent’s body… I didn’t even know what I could do that.” Leah chuckles, “But, I understand how you must be feeling. I lost my eye defending my village and it took some time for me to learn how to see without seeing. My pops at the time just screamed and called me a demon until I left. At least Master Haruli loves you.” She jokes, making you chuckle.

“I think it does make you look like a demon.” You tease her, “A hot one.”

“You think?” Leah smirks, flexing slightly.

“Duh.” You roll your eyes, making her laugh.

“So!” Leah claps her hands, “When are we leaving?” She examines the mess you made.

“Leaving?” You put your hand on your hip, “Who said anything about leaving?”

“This.” Leah motions to the training dummies, “And, I know you. With or without your wings, you’re not going to sit around while this bullshit goes on… especially not when you can feel it.”

“You’re right.” You sigh and clip your staff back into your hair, “I’m planning on leaving in the morning. I won’t stop fighting until they’re all gone.” You say fiercely.

“Oh thank the Gods!” Cardin exclaims as he comes into the room, “I thought you lost your mind when you didn’t charge out of the gates screaming profanities.” He makes the two of you laugh as Leah greets him.

“It’s great to have you back, sister-in-arms.” Cardin claps her back, “So, we’re heading out in the morning?”

“Guys.” You cross your arms in disapproval, “You’re not coming with me.”

“Like hell we are!” They chorus and take a step towards you.

“We’re fighting with you, so you have to suck it up.” Leah scoffs, “Even Landen finally picked up a weapon! Are you really going to let that be in vain?” You shake your head with a smile and pick up your katana. ‘Always on my ass. It’s good to hear that Landen is getting past his fears now. I thought he never would when he fainted at the sight of that gorgon.’

“Alright, we leave in the morning.” You say with resignation as you sheath your sword. ‘Is this the reason you introduced me to them, mama? So I’d have friends by my side when you were gone?’ They cheer and Cardin heads out saying that he has to check in with his dad.

“Hey, Y/n?” Leah says quietly as she approaches you. You smile to yourself, you knew this would be coming sometime soon.

“Don’t worry, I agree.” You turn to her, “There’s no time for a relationship in war.” Leah blinks before she grins at you. She pulls you in for a kiss before flicking the charm on her choker. The little tree swings back and forth at her throat.

“I still have you as my good luck charm though.” Leah winks.

“I think that's a good thing considering that I came back from the dead.” You joke and Leah whistles.

“Cardin and I have rubbed off on you, huh? Joking about your own death days after finding out.” Leah shakes her head in fake disapproval, “We’ve corrupted you.” You snort and punch her shoulder, making her laugh. ‘Tomorrow we head back into the fight.’