#actuallysad

[gerinia]

Can't find my communities, the old tags seem inactive. If I just search for "anxiety" Tumblr tells me to gtfo and won't allow me to follow the tag. Wtf? Anxiety? Really?

The more niche things are even harder to find.

[melancholic]

its actuallysad how lame straight sex I’M calling it lame and I’m known as the celibate king in my area (leila celibacy gif) like even when you’re fucking you have to maintain these arbitrary social rules blehhh

[henkasuru]

my fucking mind wants me to hurt myself :)

[hiddenemotionalsuggestion]

don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak don’t be weak

[ablednt]

This definitely isn't like a diagnostic list but you might want to look into bpd if

Your RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is frequent and intensive enough that it impairs your relationship ability (I.e rather than "I have bad anxiety when criticized" it becomes "because of criticism I got in the past I struggle to maintain friendships bc I'm certain everyone secretly hates me")

Your fear of abandonment is something you've noticed and thought was indicative of a bigger issue or has been commented a lot

If you've been abandoned/cut off by either family or close friends/anyone who had an impact on you and you can't seem to bounce back (especially if this keeps happening repeatedly)

If you get moodswings unexplained by another disorder or if the mood swings are attached to your self esteem (I.e feelings of self love start an emotional high but then soon after your mood crashes and you suddenly hate yourself again rinse repeat)

You're an abuse survivor (it's not inherently a symptom it's just more likely for bpd to be caused by abuse so it's good to look into it if you suspect it might be relevant)

If you have Hyperfixations on individual people (like that you know, friends and acquaintances not celebrities) especially if your feelings for that person are intense. (If they also tend to switch from being like wow I really love this person to wow wtf I hate them then that's another huge sign but it's not required)

In general I think a lot more people have bpd than they realize just because a lot of bpd exoeriences are spread around as being relatable and a depression mood when it really seems like there's a lot more going on for people who genuinely are like lol same at stuff about having no self esteem and not being able to maintain relationships having mood swings etc

[boderlinepigeon]

I constantly feel abandoned

I know more often than not that’s just the bpd

Someone might miss me if I throw myself off a cliff

Maybe someone would actually cry if I took more pills than my body could handle

But more often than not that too feels like a lie

I wear white jeans with fresh blood stains

No one asks if I’m okay

They see it as just jokes when I tell them I feel invisible

That no one would hear it if my body hit the ground

They act as if I’m giving no warning signs

But I am a neon sign the words

PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME

Boldly presented on my chest.

They don’t seem to notice I need them

That I’m not joking when I say every few weeks when no one has checked up on me I play Russian roulette in my head

Go through all the ways I could die

Make them feel bad they didn’t ask

They didn’t check to see if am okay

I think about that a lot

I know it’s just the BPD talking

Someone would probably notice I was gone

Someone might worry when I stop responding to text the second I get them

Even if I wanna die I can’t bring myself to abandoned my life

I have to be the one person to notice myself even if I wish someone else would

[ephemeralperception]

So I tried to talk about the fact that I feel like shit and have been for awhile but instead of putting it like "some things happened in my life and it has consequences now that I need to deal with" I said something like "my dad left when I was 6 so now I can't keep a job"

So now I'm the little bitch who uses her past as an excuse to be lazy, that's how they see me now. Great.

[pantasticenby]

Reacting to my seasonal affective disorder like:

[badsilence]

[the-bi-man-cometh]

Do you ever get into a mood where you want to find a giant mason jar and fill it with every single song lyric that’s going through your mind, but there’s hundreds of lyrics, and you should be sleeping?

[hardcoresoftangel]

am i insane?

[twiceasgaykay]

Me going to get my antidepressant raised for the winter.

man fuck this. *becomes happy*

[henkasuru]

[hiddenemotionalsuggestion]

i don’t know what else to say other than i’m sorry for being like this

[horrorhokum]

When your friends have a childish sense of humor:

Friend: lol get it ???

Me: .......y e s.......

[manmodeactivate]

The phone call that never came

I rang up the clinic i was trying to get into last week to ask if my referal went through and the some person wasnt there so they said they would call back. And they havent. Now what. Do i just fall into a pit of depression and dysphoria? K thx bye