#actually someone took my post from this blog just a day or two ago too

[teeth--thief]

I'm not naming any names (yet) but: a situation transpired just now. A situation called Someone Reposted My Art. The person in question follows this blog so there's a chance they'll see this. I'll keep it short and sweet. Powiem tak... wstyd trochę, zachowanie średnio na poziomie. Ale głównie to mi przykro, bo mój komentarz był bardzo neutralny, a zostałem potraktowany jakbym robił jakiś problem... :(

I'm not expecting an apology or anything but even an I'll do whatever I want, fuck you would have been better, honestly. Like, what now? You're going to block this blog, too? A bit lame, don't you think?

I commented on the post of the person who reposted my art that I'm happy that they like my art but reposting it is not acceptable and I got blocked... But at least my art was removed, so... you win some, you lose some, I suppose...

[imaginesmai]

Alfie Solomons - Night adventures

I've been sick for week now with the worst stomach bug ever, and this has been on my mind for a few days! Welcome back Alfie to my blog!

Plot: Alfie doesn't come home from work and you worry something has happened, so you decided to go to the bakery.

Warning: Alfie's vocabulary is just saying fuck, really.

The streets were empty, too late for the common citizens and too early for the unfortunate first-shift workers. You had only found a beggar sleeping in a pile of boxes and two men trying to get home stumbling through the pavement. The silence, the darkness, would have been a good reason to turn back and worry about him under the covers, warm and safe. When a cat jumped from a window and landed on a car, you actually took a few steps back.

But Cyril stared at the menace until the animal hissed its way back to wherever it belonged.

Swallowed in one of Alfie’s long coats, with his hat covering your face, you finished the thirty minutes’ walk to the bakery. A faint light was coming from the top floor, and anyone would have thought bakers were starting their day early.

You knew it was your husband, Alfie, who hadn’t finished his yet. There was a man posted on the back entrance, the one you always used when you came to see him unexpected. It was closer to his office, it was more discreet, and besides, you knew Ollie. He would be one less problem for you that night.

When the boy saw you approach him, his whole back tensed. His hand made it to the holster on his hip before he recognized Cyril and your soft smile, once you were close enough. The soft street light let you see his panicked stare.

“What – Y/N, what the fuck are you doin’ here?” he quickly grabbed you by your arm and, checking both sides, pushed you inside the bakery. “It’s fuckin’ two in the mornin’!”

“I am aware of that, Ollie, since I also own a watch” you told him, taking down your hat.

“How did you get – does he know you’re here?” Ollie, who had been almost asleep leaning against the door, was now growing agitated. “You didn’ brin’ a car. You walked?”

“Me and Cyril, yeah”

The familiar warmth of the bakery felt good against your sore muscles. Not only you had half-jogged half-ran for thirty minutes, but the tension of the night and the worries for him had made the cold weather of November seep into your bones. You weren’t about to let Ollie notice how glad you were to be finally somewhere safe, because that would only prove a point you were trying to avoid.

“Y/N, it’s the middle of the night”

“So it is for my husband, who was supposed to be home with me. But that big head must have forgotten his own watch at home, given he’s still here”

“He’s not alone. Someone came to see him, and the meetin’… yeah, it was longer than wha’ he thought”

“Oi, wha’ that noise ‘bout, yeah?” a booming voice came from the floor above you, the door of his office banging open. “Didn’ I ask for silence?”

Alfie, in all his grumpy and broody glory, leaned against the railing and saw both of you. You weren’t surprised to see he was still wearing his working clothes, a small, stained pinny wrapped around his waist. His hair was sticking in different directions from being tugged at, and his face complemented his mood when he locked eyes with you.

Of course, Cyril tried to reach him and let his presence be known with loud barks. You passed his leash to Ollie and made your way up to your husband’s office. The metal stairs echoed under your shoes, and even if you kept your eyes on them, you felt his on you every second.

Far from being intimidated or angry, you felt your worries melting away. He usually came home before the sun set – had picked that tradition years ago once you were officially married and hadn’t missed a day. But it had been a rough week for the both of you, and when he hadn’t shown up, you had feared the worst. Patiently, you had waited and called his office. After not receiving an answer and not hearing the door, you had decided to check for yourself.

You weren’t naïve enough to go alone, but since there wasn’t anyone around to accompany you, Cyril had been your bodyguard for the night. Many things could have happened. Some of them you could imagine, some remember from past experiences because of his enemies’ retaliations. All of them were present in Alfie’s eyes as you reached the top of the stairs and met him face to face.

“Hello”

His nostrils flared and he pressed his lips in a tight line, but behind all of that there was just fear. You waited until he looked at every part of your body, from your soft smile to the hem of your skirt. One of your hands took his fist and didn’t let go until he held it. Alfie didn’t let his frown go as he raised it to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

“Aren’ your suppos’ to be in bed” he growled against your hand.

“With you, but you didn’t come and I was worried” you explained, moving a step closer to him. “Called and no one answered. I didn’t know if… so I came to check. Brought Cyril with me”

“Stupid dog knows you ain’t suppos’ to leave” Alfie looked down at Cyril, and his eyes softened. “You alrigh’, yeah? Nothin’ happen?”

“I’m fine. Just tired. And worried about you”

“Come ‘ere”

You fell into his arms and the remains of worry and tension left your body. He smelt like rum, bread and sweat, like home. You closed your eyes when his hand found the back of your head and pressed it against his shoulder. Later, you would probably have a long conversation about what you had done. Not only it had been reckless, but if you had been right, there wasn’t much you could have done.

His life came with highs and downs, and you had been there enough to know them. That doesn’t meant you had grown used to the feeling of not knowing if he was fine or not, if he was alive. When you hugged him closer, your arms around his middle, you let him know that you were glad.

Someone opened the door and you saw Tommy Shelby walking out of Alfie’s office. You didn’t like that man, neither did he like you, but you both respected each other enough. Eventually, their relationship would go south, either because of his or Alfie’s biggest interest; and you just hoped it wouldn’t go too south.

Alfie noticed his stare and turned around. Instinctively, you were covered by his huge back, not seeing anything but the sweaty locks at the back of his neck.

“I believe we were in the middle of something”

“And I believe it’s time for my husband to come home” you said from behind Alfie, trying to move around. Effectively, Alfie moved with you.

“Your’ gonna ‘ave to excuse my wife, mate. She’s right, ain’t she” Alfie said. He gripped your hand again and made you stay in place.

When it came to you and the business, Alfie Solomons had always had it clear. You had walked into his life and turned everything around, and if needed to, he would leave it all behind if you asked to. You always came first, no matter what. He could come home late, share his matters with you and attend to political galas by your side, but if you asked something, he could not say no.

So he stared down at Tommy, who had been arguing for the past six hours. He had just showed up when he was about to close the bakery, and the bouquet of flowers he had bought you was now sad and forgotten in the storage room.

“Alfie” Tommy warned him. “We need to close the deal. I’m not about to risk half my percentage if you aren’t willing to take the risk”

“The only risk I’m takin’ tonig’ is this lovely lady back ‘ome”

“You don’t get to kick me out! I am –“

Before Tommy could grow any more aggressive, he had Alfie’s gun pressed tightly against his chin. The baker was a few inches shorter than him, but somehow, he stared down at Tommy, daring him to keep talking. The Shelby brother looked at you with your arms crossed, biting back his next words.

“Listen, now, cause I believe, this¸ right, this is my fuckin’ bakery. My fuckin’ rum. Money. Business. And that’s my fuckin’ wife your’ lookin’ at, so unless you wan’ to go ‘ome wit’ one less eye, Shelby, stop fuckin’ lookin’ at ‘er”

“Get your fucking hands – “

“Shut the fuck up! You, barkin’ orders, at me?! In my fuckin’ work?!” Alfie screamed into his face, making Tommy take a few steps back. When the man once more met your eyes with the same, disgusted face, Alfie struck him with the gun. “Are you fuckin’ deaf?! Don’ look at her or I’ll rip your eyes out with my nails!”

Cyril barked as if he supported his owner’s words. You looked down and noticed Ollie was no longer alone. There were three other men, that had appeared out of thin air, at the bottom of the stairs. All of them looked ready to climb it in less than a second.

Not too far away, Tommy’s men would be close. It wouldn’t be the first time Alfie got into trouble because of you, or the last. His protectiveness was founded, but sometimes he went a little overboard. Tommy had looked at you many times before, and had been threatened each time he had done it.

Some part of you wondered if he was a sucker for Alfie’s threats or was really looking for them to become true.

Before your night could escalate into bigger events, you moved behind Alfie and wrapped your hands around his raised arm. You had gone to the bakery to find out if Alfie was there, to retrieve him from his pile of work and hopefully catch a few hours of sleep by his side. After a long day of own work, you were tired and in need of some peace.

“Let’s just go home”

Under your touch, Alfie relaxed and dropped the gun. He kept his eyes locked on Tommy and the man was smart enough to clean the blood of his lip and turn back. You guessed his men should be on the main entrance, and you were really thankful you had chosen the back one.

You watched him disappear. Watched, in silence, as the group of men that had surrounded you went back to their corners where you couldn’t see them. Alfie didn’t bother retrieving anything from his office, just closed the door and let you lead the way down the stairs.

Once you were down, he nodded to Ollie and the boy disappeared, carrying Cyril with him.

“That was dangerous, pet” he said, his voice soft. There was a rough, scared edge you had grown to notice through the years. “You, yeah, you can’t jus’ come ‘ere. You need to tell me”

“I know, Alf. But I did call. And you always answer. I knew you had a meeting and since you didn’t come home, I didn’t know what to think” you told him, not giving him. “What if it was the other way? What if I didn’t come home one night? Wouldn’t you come looking for me too?”

“I’d burn down fuckin’ Camden, luv, you know tha’”

“Then you can’t get angry at me, not at this. I was careful, nothing happened”

It hadn’t happened, but it could. Not only Alfie’s enemies. Night in Camden Town held more dangers than mobsters or gangs, ones that didn’t know who you were married to and weren’t afraid of your husband. It was irresponsible, dangerous, and you knew better.

It wasn’t the time, though, and Alfie knew it.

“Alrigh’, pet, alrigh’. Jus’ try not to send me to an early gave, yeah?”

“You won’t get rid of me even in a grave, Alfie Solomons”

His laugh echoed in the empty bakery. Alfie wrapped his coat closer to your body, not saying anything about your choices of clothes, and put his hat back into your head. Always the gentleman he opened the door for you and dragged you closer to his side.

You didn’t take the path you had walked, but the opposite way. Ollie’s car was waiting for you at the other end of the street, Cyril probably a looming threat in the backseat ready to tackle Alfie as soon as he opened the door. Finally in peace, you wrapped your arm around his middle and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Love you” you whispered, looking up at him.

“Yeah, luv you too, don’ I”

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for inquiring after a blog that got deleted?

This happened several months ago and my friends have told me that I wasn't in the wrong, but my stupid anxiety keeps bringing it up and saying actually they only told me that because they like me. Maybe the judgement of strangers will finally get my brain to put it to rest. Repliers, please use she/her pronouns only for me, I don't like being called by they/them.

I'm keeping this vague to respect the privacy of the others involved; if you somehow recognize the situation, please do not give further details. Feel free to ask for clarification if something is confusing, but I will not be providing additional information like what fandom it was as I believe that would just risk revealing who was involved, and I can't think of any additional info that would affect someone's judgement of what I did. I would like judgement of what I did without risking violating anyone else involved's privacy. Also, sorry this is so long. It's the ADHD. I hate it too.

I'm relating the dms involved as closely as I can, but they won't be word-for-word.

I follow several roleplay blogs in the same fandom. One day I noticed one that I particularly liked seemed to have been deleted. I wasn't sure if they'd made a goodbye post I didn't see before deleting or something, so I made a post asking if anyone knew if something had happened with their mod, as it seemed to come out of nowhere to me. No one ever interacted with this post, but I have no way of knowing if people saw it.

I messaged a blog that I had seen interact with them a lot asking something like "hey, do you know if something happened with [blog]'s mod? I noticed they had deleted and was wondering if something happened." They replied with the single word "no" and I thanked them and apologized for bothering them. This one word was the only thing they ever said to me. I took this to mean that they didn't know if anything had happened, but didn't try to investigate further. I was vaguely concerned that they seemed to have suddenly disappeared without anyone knowing, but it wasn't my place to try and dig things up.

A couple days later I was scrolling back through a different blog and I noticed an old post they'd reblogged from the person who deleted's sideblog, and the sideblog had also been deleted. I sent a dm asking something like "Hey, I noticed [blog] and [sideblog] were both deleted, and was wondering if you knew if the mod was alright" and received a response just saying that no one wanted to make what happened public, least of all the mod. I thanked them for responding, apologized for prying, and said I hoped things were alright, then deleted my post asking if anyone knew what had happened, so that people couldn't stumble on it, get curious, and try and pry themselves.

Very shortly after, I received an anonymous ask scolding me for prying into the mod's business when they wanted things kept quiet and continuing after being told no. I posted the anon and explained that I hadn't meant to pry - just was wondering if things were okay - and that I must have misinterpreted that first "no", apologized if I'd made anyone uncomfortable, and made it clear I would absolutely not ask further. That was the end of it, at least as far as I know.

I think I might be the asshole because: I didn't know the mod, we'd never talked beyond their answering some of my asks, but I asked people about them anyways. I was genuinely wondering if they were okay and was careful not to ask what happened, but I know I can have trouble finding the line between normal and nosy, and maybe messaging two people was too far, even if the first person seemed to not know anything.

I think I might not be the asshole because: I wasn't asking for details on what happened, I was just wondering if they were okay or if I'd missed a goodbye post, and backed off immediately after being told it was private. I don't think it's really my fault that I misinterpreted the first person saying "no" to me asking if they knew if something had happened, since I thought they were literally answering my question.

Again, please do not try to figure out who was involved in this if you think you recognize it; I just want my brain to stop turning this damn situation over and over and maybe having strangers judge it will do that.

So. AITA for asking after someone who deleted their roleplay blog?

What are these acronyms?

[epickiya722]

I do not know if it was you, or another blogger that made a character analysis of Gojo that made me like the character and discover more about him through the manga.

While I never read the manga before or watched the anime, I had been exposed to it by my friends and some BNHA bloggers. Back then, I found Gojo to be overhyped (discount Kakashi) while liking the animation(?) style, bit still no interest.

BNHA and its Endeavour Redemption arc in the doing was tiring me to the point that I stopped reading it and manga altogether. For mayne six months or so, until now, at least. I randomly found your blog last week , and it got me a new hyper fixation 😃. You got me to start reading JJK (Megan cos playing also helps).

I bought Number 0 and Number 1 of the mangas. Only to remember midway in Number 0 that Walmart Kakashi will be snapped in two like a Kit Kat🥲. I saw that leak in one of the BNHA blogs, and I didn't mind it back then since I wasn't in the fandom, but Lord, now it sucks.

Anyways, all this long rant to say that I like reading your posts.

Gojo, rest in pain, I guess?

Probably was someone else, I don't write much analysis posts about Gojo. I think once or twice I did, I can't recall. Probably reblogged one though you saw!

I don't know, they're really just two different characters to me. Also... I was never really an active reader or watcher of Naruto like that (just very familiar) so when I first saw Gojo, Kakashi didn't register to me at all.

Like, I did not get similar vibes at all. And it actually annoys me that people will be like "He copied Kakashi's flow"! Kakashi ain't the only white haired, face covering character out there with magical eyes, y'all stop. 😆

Even funnier when, by this point, Gojo has probably been unmasked more than he has been wearing something on his face and switches up what he puts on his face. Kakashi been wearing the same mask for...? Also, didn't it take years for Kakashi's whole face to be shown or something? Took like seven episodes for Gojo to show that face.

**

I always been a fan of Megan's music and then when I found out she was into anime I was like "YYYYYEEEEEAAAAH". She cosplayed as Miruko one Halloween and it made my year. I am a former believer that Miruko would vibe to her music.

Just seeing other Black women being unapologetic fans of anime (or anything) does wonders for me and I hate it when people act as if it's such a foreign idea to understand. Honey, we can have interests, too, like everyone else. It's normal.

**

I always try to be careful about spoilers for anything I'm into. Like, I can talk about a chapter that happened two years ago, but I'll still mark as a spoiler because I know some people don't read Mangas or even if they do haven't caught up to that specific part.

That actually what set me off when Usher cosplayed as Gojo because he literally put "rest in peace, Gojo" or something along those lines and the amount of people who weren't even aware of 236... like bro, come on.

I knew it just had to be a marketing tactic because I know damn well Usher ain't seen JJK a day in his life and how convenient it is he comes out with that cosplay around the time when "Daddy's Home" becomes a fairly popular song used in Gojo's edits. I can't go watching one video on YouTube without hearing that song play when Gojo pops up. And even if he has... WHY WOULD YOU TAG IT LIKE THAT?!

Oh, but Megan definitely doesn't know any of the characters she be cosplaying, alright... okay... 🙄

I'm just going off on a whole tangent here, I apologize for that. I've been sick for like three days and just woke up from a nap. 😅

**

Also, thank you! Glad you enjoy my posts!! Anytime anyone says they like reading my posts, I still get shocked. They're really are just random thoughts I been having and really I'm still learning grasping the characters and story myself. And this is just for any. I don't even for them to get read, let alone for anyone to actually agree with me. I guess because, at the end of the day, I really just needed to throw a thought out there before I lose it or keep rethinking about it over and over.

[polyamorouspunk]

Curious what your thoughts are on ppl being "obligate" polyam?

I ask because I've been debating if maybe I might be because I feel so in love with my gf rn, but... I still feel like I'm missing something. Like. She feels like a single flavor of food that I like. But, as much as I do I couldn't live off of just that one thing yk?

It scares me though, because she's explicitly monogamous, so I can't really go out and explore and try it out to see if it's for me without losing her. I don't really know what to do. Or how much longer I should stay still feeling like this. Or if I should just dismiss it as baseless anxiety and just let myself enjoy being with her.

I'm so scared to break her heart.

And like, how can I do this? How can I seriously be considering losing her just to try something I don't even know if I need or will even like.

It feels wrong, I love her this is stupid. But I just can't seem to dismiss it. I mean, I'm literally typing this in the middle of a New Years Eve party because I just can't get it out of my head.

I think what you’re calling “obligate” polyam is what I call “inherently” polyam, where, it’s like, I WILL fall in love or at least crush on other people and want to date them at the same time no matter what, it’s not a choice it’s just how I feel.

I started this blog as an outlet for my anger issues which I now realize probably stem from my bpd and just to talk about polyamory- correct the RAMPANT misinformation people were spreading, but also, to talk about the stuff no one else seemed to talk about. I’m really lucky that my polyam mutuals post about all the wonderful things about polyamory- the love, the amazing partners, the memes, etc. But that left me needing a space to talk about what I felt the most- shame.

I came out at 17 as polyam and it was awful. I was terrified I was going to lose my partner over it. I was filled with this awful feeling of being a horrible person for not “loving my partner enough” and so worried they were going to see it as them “not being good enough for me”. I mean I was seriously broken up about it.

But my partner took it in stride. We made it work. But I still felt this deep shame that ended up leading me to decide to be monogamous just for them after a while.

I even started dating my now-again-gf while dating my primary partner at the time, and although she literally dated me while I was dating someone else and quite literally knows I run this blog, I still haven’t re-brought-up the fact that I’m polyam, and that’s 100% hanging over my head, especially with how infatuated I am with someone else right now, though we’ve talked about that a little.

I’m really lucky I have people like @eevyerndracaneon and the people in my polyam discord server to talk openly about the shame and guilt that I still to this day feel about being polyam despite running one of the biggest polyamory blogs on this website.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned though, it’s that monogamous people can be a lot more open-minded than you’d expect. I’ve never actually dated anyone polyam. All of my partners have been monogamous. And all of my monogamous partners have been fine with me dating other people while also dating them.

And a few years ago, my brother came out as polyam! And it was even harder for him than coming out as gay! And once again I was lucky enough to ride on the tailwind of him coming out first as the older one and also come out as polyam. Even my best friend and I have talked about dating and having an open relationship in the past.

It’s funny, and wild, how many polyamorous people you’ll meet out in the open once you come out too. My first semester in college, I was sitting in front of two older trans guys when I heard them talking about polyamory, and shyly I turned around and asked if they were polyam and they said yes, and they were the first polyam people I had met (that I know of).

Just a few months ago I was at a concert and sat next to a group of 3 people that were all really touchy and flirty, and since they were all really obvious about it I just asked if they were all dating and they explained their polycule to me and I was just like… me! That’s me! Me too! And they were SO happy to meet me back!

A lot of the other polyam blogs on here will tell you the same thing: it’s unrealistic to expect one person to fill every single want and need you have, and can put a lot of pressure on that person to do things they maybe aren’t comfortable with.

It’s not as unusual and shameful as you might think. It’s really all about conquering that inner polyphobia, which can be really hard, and is a process. Hell, I’m 24 now, and run this majorly successful polyam blog, and I’m STILL in my discord server like “guys idk how to tell my gf I’m polyam… again… uh… imma just not rn”.

Only you can decide what the best course of action for you is. I know I’ve lived fine with choosing monogamy and feeling like I’m missing out on some of my wants/needs as a sacrifice for a wholesome relationship I wanted to keep. A compromise, if you will. I also know that not coming out to my partner as polyam was eating me up inside at the time. And that when they did end our relationship and I was able to be with someone else I did realize things I was missing from that relationship and how GOOD it was to finally have those things.

Be optimistic. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, really, it’s that there’s more of us out there than you think, even if we go by different names, but also that monogamous people really can be open-minded and willing to share a partner.

[e-adlirez]

An Independent Callout Update

Hi everybody, this is uh, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and I figured I'd make one.

Last you saw me I was offering some appreciation for some funni Tumblr art, and sharing a project long-ish in the making (it was like two months it's not that long). I figured y'know, maybe we can let sleeping dogs lie, maybe I can work on other things and maybe take a br--

NOPE JUST KIDDING someone's still up and about and still trying to prove himself somewhere in the blameless route. I've genuinely never seen someone make this many backflips to make them look innocent since Grace Chastity, which is an accomplishment, by the way! Not a good one by any means, but an accomplishment nonetheless!

Let's dive into it, shall we?

Here we have a Cadillac trying to claim that he was hacked. As you can see, he's failed miserably at trying to ping @2deadkat, @ratonahat and @bloombirdreads, in an attempt to call for help. He's failing to ping them because they blocked his ass a whiiiillleeeee ago. And of course, the "it wasn't his fault, it was someone else acting in my name!" excuse! This is peak "I can't be having impure thoughts! This is the other guy's fault for making me horny!" Cadillac is there something you wish to confess in front of the class?

Two holes in his excuse:

One, you didn't seem to have any issues when you were trying to convince me into thinking that you were trying even the tiniest modicum of owning up to your mistakes (which I have screenshotted here in case you think you can delete them and say I can't prove anything). It was really more of a "I'm changed in literally 2 days, I'm not like that anymore!", which is about as believable as falling into a black hole and coming out alive. In other words, not at all. Even less believable since your writing style doesn't seem to have changed from your older posts to your newer posts, hm....

Two, Cadillac, even if you were telling the truth and got hacked, how did you not notice? Getting your account hacked is a very big deal! You could lose personal information, get doxxed, have your account become a mouthpiece for scams, and that's only the half of it! How did you only notice this just now, on December 22nd of 2023? This is a big affront to your internet safety! It would be impossible!

And if you want to say this is a recent development, then uh, buddy, I have some news for you.

Here I have a screenshot from one of my personal Discords, and so far it's the earliest secondary record I have of Cadillac's shenaniganery.

And you can tell it's really early because a reply to the mini-rant around the same day mentions this funny little detail:

This was back when Cadillac had only made two shirtless G posts on his blog. From July 26th, 2023 to December 22nd, 2023-- that's a five-month time period! Almost half a year of not realizing that you've been hacked! And the strangest thing is you haven't changed a bit before or after! This hacker must've done a very good job making your posts sound like your own by extrapolating your internet personality from-- and I counted-- eight bare-bones posts, hm? /sarcastic

Well okay, remember how I said Cadillac's been very consistent this whole time? Well, I lied. There's Cadillac's most recent post as well:

Dear me, you're sounding awfully mature and respectful here! Is this a miracle? Could you possibly have actually been hacked and the person behind the screen is actually a decent person all alo--

OOP I GUESS NOT!

Buddy, I didn't even need to pull up GPTZero for this, you were sounding so corporate and so fake it wasn't even a contest. You ain't slick, Cadillac, not slick at all.

And for the record, I plugged my entries in the callout post in there too because why not

Yep, a lotta hooman to go around with me, Cadillac. This one in I'm writing right now took about an hour :D Whether or not it's because of having to find sources or just to find a good way to say what I want to, I'll leave that for everyone else to decide.

Anyway, this is your Cadillac callout update, goodnight tristate area.

Yes Cadillac you can bet your ass that the only reason anyone would ever be unblocking you would be for no other reason but this: making callouts that aren't going any time soon. I will admit, one flaw in my original post was the fact that I hyperlinked more than I screenshotted, giving you an opportunity to wipe the evidence. Well, you've got nowhere to hide now, Cadillac. I've caught you in 4K, and these posts aren't going anywhere.

[wanderingthroughsands]

Wandering through sands

Author's note: I wrote this fic two years ago in my native language. Due to differences in our "fanfiction cultures," in mine I use a first-person narrative, and also, my protagonist actually have a name because I wholeheartedly believe (and I think so does Neil Gaiman) that names do have meaning. If any of you feel discouraged by this, I'm sorry. But I hope you will come along on the ride with me anyway. And of course, I apologize for any language mistakes.

This is my spare blog btw. I'm too embarassed to post this fic on my main account.

Premise: My mom always says I was "a child of her dreams". I rarely cried, even more rarely got scared, and never, ever—something she still loves to emphasize—woke up screaming at night. And indeed, even today, I cannot recall ever having a nightmare in my life. But this does not mean that nightmares never happen to me, for in truth, I see nightmares quite often, maybe even more often than a regular person. It’s just that—these are not my nightmares.

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x original fem!character

Timeline: Netflix series-verse with hints of comics, post-season one

Content Warning: swearing, angst, tension, threat, basically Dream being Dream, mentions of sexual abuse later in the story, not proofread :(

* * *

Prologue

And meet me there Bundles of flowers We'll wade through the hours of cold Winter shall howl at the walls Tearing down doors of time – "Promise" by Ben Howard

Ever since I remember, I’ve always had this feeling that there was something wrong with me. But not in the typical sense of "wrong", with all the usual trappings of being different from the rest of the world and nurturing a sense of uniqueness that, understandably, no one ever openly admits to. It was rather something that had always existed within me, something indefinable, that, despite my biggesr efforts, has thus far prevented me from being happy.

Over the span of my twenty-three years, I must have heard my mother’s incomprehensible pride at least a million times, as she recounted to all our friends and acquaintances that I truly was a child of her dreams. I rarely cried, even more rarely got scared, and never, ever—something my mother still likes to emphasize—woke up screaming at night. And indeed, even today, I cannot recall ever having a nightmare in my life. But this does not mean that nightmares never happen to me, for in truth, I see nightmares quite often, maybe even more often than a regular person.

It’s just that... These are not my nightmares.

It all began with the accident that confined me to a hospital bed for several weeks, just before the end of high school. It's amazing how vividly I remember that day, though it was not unlike the others, filled with discussions about college choices and tentative steps towards packing my bags. On the day of the accident, I slept longer than usual, so when I finally entered the kitchen, my mother was just closing the apartment door behind her. I remember what I ate, what I wore, what I listened to as I left the stairwell, which bus I took, and at what time I headed to the library. I remember the face of the elderly man sitting next to me and the woman with a child pressed so tightly to her chest that it might as well have been an extension of her own body.

I also remember the moment I got off near the park, where, as usual, it was bustling with people. A group of young boys were tossing a ball, couples strolled along the gravel paths, and children dashed among the trees. I paused on the sidewalk, adjusted the bag on my shoulder, and some impulse, an inner compulsion, made me look toward a distant bench, as if I expected to meet someone there, although I was supposed to go in the opposite direction. It was a unique feeling, something between fear and anticipation, like when you hear the sound of rustling bushes during a walk through a dark, silent forest. In that split second, before I took a step in that direction and was brutally struck by a man speeding on his hoverboard, I saw two people: a beautiful, dark-skinned woman and a man with black hair and skin white as snow. And then...

My mother told me, sobbing, that I had been unconscious for two days, though I could swear that in my mind, decades, if not centuries, had passed before I came back to life.

At first, I was surrounded by boundless fields of green, which I traversed with an incredible calmness I had never felt before. I could literally feel the softness of the grass under my feet, the gentle breezes stroking my hair, the pleasant warmth of the sun's rays on my skin. I’m almost certain I didn’t wonder if I had die at that time —however ridiculous it might sound, in that beautiful place full of greenery, I felt more alive and present than ever. It was as if something had awakened within me, filling me with a fresh, invigorating energy I had sought in vain for years.

Absorbing this newly discovered tranquility, I wandered forward for countless hours until I finally came upon a door hidden among the trees. When I passed through it, the soothing greenery disappeared—replaced by a picture of a young woman, visibly terrified, hiding from something or someone in an old, dilapidated residential building.

I was sure I had never seen her before, yet I immediately felt her fear, her vigilance, though not quite as if they were my own—rather, as if my heart somehow knew their source, their origin, and their meaning. I looked around and, seeing no threat she was anticipating, decided to approach her. The woman acted strangely, casting glances everywhere, breathing heavily and whispering something to herself. When I drew near, at first she screamed, then threw herself at my knees and, gripping my hands tightly, she sobbed:

"Please, you have to help me escape, I can't go through this again! You must help me, please, please, get me out of here!"

"Where are we?" I asked confused, kneeling in front of her. "What is this place?"

"You have to help me, I won't survive this again, he'll be here any minute now!"

"Who? Who will be here? And how can I help you?"

The woman burst into tears and pushed away my hands, curling up in the corner of the corridor and burying her head in her arms. I heard her whispering again, but I couldn't make out a word.

"Please, tell me what’s happening here?" I approached her slowly, and when I came close enough for my face to almost touch her hair, I finally managed to hear her say:

"I just want to wake up... I just want to wake up... I just want to wake up..."

"So this is a dream?" I stood up and looked around again, only to realize I had never been in a place like this before, and certainly had never dreamt of anything like it in my life. Was I now dreaming the nightmare of a stranger, then? Why? And was that a reason I felt no fear myself but could actually know hers with every fiber of my body?

The woman kept whispering to herself, sobbing between words, and completely involuntarily I began to ponder if, and how I could help her wake up.

"You know you're just dreaming, right?" I said to her in the gentlest voice I could muster. "And you actually can wake up if you choose to?"

When she didn't respond, I touched her arm and continued, "When there's something I don't like in my dream, I try to change it. Like when I run too slow, I imagine I have roller skates on my feet, and they appear instantly. Once you realize that you’re dreaming, it is actually quite easy to wake up, at least most of the time. Would you try that for me?"

"He'll be here soon, he'll be here soon," she whimpered, as if she hadn't heard a single word I just said, and when she abruptly turned her face to me, I saw true anguish on her face. "Help me escape from here, please, I’m begging you, just help me get out!"

"Alright, alright, it’s okay! Please, at least try to calm down," I said and closed my eyes tightly as I strained to find a solution to her trouble.

The woman was too terrified to rationally analyze her situation and pave her way to awakening. But I wasn't. Despite all the bizarre happenings in my dream, I felt nothing but compassion for her and her overwhelming fear. And since apparently it was my dream, not hers, no matter how twisted it might be, I could try to do the same thing I always did when a dream turned unpleasant—change it.

"Give me your hand," I requested, and she reached out her trembling hand, allowing me to help her up. "I'll try to take you home."

Staring at the stone wall, gripping her fingers, I thought about the door, behind which she could wake up. On the other side it could be her room, her bed, her home—didn’t really matter to me how they might look, because it all was just one of my dreams and the girl probably didn't even exist at all... But if I could somehow do anything to actually bring her peace, I would try to take her wherever she wanted.

As predicted, and utterly against all logic, the doors appeared almost instantly, seamlessly integrated into the dilapidated building as if they hadn’t appear there at my unspoken request.

"You'll walk through these doors now," I said, taking a step towards them with her. "And when I close them behind you, you'll wake up, and this nightmare won't haunt you anymore."

"I want to wake up..." She kept repeating. "I want to wake up..."

"This way you can escape from here. Go. And I hope your next dreams will be much less frightening."

The girl disappeared in an instant, but she immediately got replaced by a frightened boy at a school board. Then there was a monk, who saw devil faces in the image of Jesus. Then a man standing with bloodied hands over a child's body. Then a couple engaged in a fierce argument. Nightmare after nightmare, I participated in hundreds of scenarios, witnessing pain, death, illnesses, wounds, rejection, loneliness... and each time, helping dreamers to awaken, because they just couldn't end their nightmares on their own. It was the longest, most astonishing dream I had ever experienced.

And when I finally woke up myself, I immediately felt that something was wrong with the place I had re-entered. And with me as well—except this time, I clearly felt as though I had transitioned from a safe haven in the dream world into my personal nightmare of reality.

I had suffered a serious head injury and a broken leg. My mother watched over me almost constantly, first in the hospital and then at home. Friends dropped by occasionally to bring me school updates or simply to check on me. After a few painful weeks, the cast was removed, and I began rehabilitation. I recovered relatively quickly... at least from a medical standpoint.

Because my bizzare dreams never ceased. They returned regularly, offering me a kind of respite from everyday life, despite the terrifying images and intense emotions of the people I encountered. Awakening people became my own personal mission — meanwhile, I started college, then finished it, and applied for an internship at a small publishing house.

The accident rooted yet another thing within me. Fear. And anticipation. Several times I returned to that park, waiting for the mysterious couple to appear again — the beautiful, young woman and the man as dark as the universe. However, years passed, and they never came.

Until that one night came, the night full of awakenings like many other nights before. And then suddenly, amidst all the nightmares, I finally encountered Dream.

[sysmedsaresexist]

This may be overstepping my bounds or you may not want to talk about this on this blog and if so please feel free to just delete this ask but on the chance this is alright here I have a question or two.

In the recent posts about Colin Ross and other professionals you've mentioned your 'professional circle' or your colleagues being therapists and it sounds like you work in the mental health field? If you do I'm just curious if you'd be willing to talk about that at all?

That's rather vague but I've been thinking about going into the mental health field and I'm curious what that might actually look like especially as someone with trauma.

This must be really odd if I've misunderstood what you've said, or uncomfortable if this just isn't something you want to talk about, and either way I know it's not really similar to what you normally post here so I'm sorry. Whether or not you respond though thank you for reading through this. I hope you have a good day.

I don't mind talking about it! I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself, but I have no issue sharing most information like this.

I do not currently work in the mental health field and I have never been licensed.

Like most of us, I'm sure, I was one of those "gifted" kids. I finished high school early with a several year scholarship, and fast tracked through 4 degrees.

My first degree was in social services and counselling. I worked in the field for about a year as a requirement for my education. In Canada, we have satellite schools for "troubled youth", and one was run out of a high school near me, so I counselled and provided support for about 30 students.

However, I was only 18/19 myself, and I was VERY OBVIOUSLY too traumatized to be working in the field. Some of the students were older than I was, and the things I heard and saw, the students that acted out violently that were twice my size...

I wasn't ready. My supervisor at the time, a woman in her 50s, told me, "In a field like this... you can't help others until you've helped yourself."

So I graduated, but switched into law. I wanted to work with those same youth, but maybe from a legal perspective (there were always police and lawyers involved). I finished my legal degree, took two more legal/business management and administration courses, became licensed, and worked for a few years in that field.

I really wasn't happy, though, as a woman and being so young, unless I wanted to start my own business, I was going to continue to face a bunch of condescending, old white men calling me, "high-school," because I don't drive and carry a backpack to and from work.

I work in sales now, making more money than I had ever hoped for, and for a company that is really, really good to its employees. I'm really happy where I ended up, though it was kind of a fluke. I voluntarily relinquished my legal license a couple of years ago because there's zero point in paying $2k a year in upkeep when I'm not going to use it.

Point is, though, I've kept in contact with a number of people in both the legal and sw field. My first therapist and I developed a bit of a weird relationship (not bad) but I was able to go to her on several occasions to talk as colleagues, not just client/therapist. I'm still in touch with her and occasionally reach out for questions. She gave me the info of a couple other specialists, of which I spoke to two of them.

I don't drop these names because it would really narrow down where I am, but on top of Colin Ross and Kymbra Clayton, I've also spoken with Marich, Loewenstein, I've tried to talk to the CTAD clinic, uhhh... Sunshaw is pretty open about her opinions. I'm trying to think of some other big names.

On the second part of this question...

Once you have a handle on your own trauma, you can be very, very successful in the mental health field. You have a unique perspective that can really help others.

It was an amazing experience, and I wish I had been older. I wish I had been through multiple therapists at that point, to see how others behaved. Being in therapy yourself is such an important step that no one talks about.

Trauma fatigue is a real thing that beats people in the field down into nothing. You'll hear every therapist say, "make sure you have your own therapist," and everyone nods their head but never actually goes to therapy. It's not just good for your own mental health, sitting on the other side of that chair can be terrifying and it's important for therapists to remember what that feeling is like, and to see how other clinicians handle clients. What do you like that they do? What do you hate? What are you not going to do with your next client?

You would be shocked to learn how many clinicians out there actually have DID! It's possible and highly rewarding. Just take your time and make sure you're actually ready for it.

There's no age limit on changing careers or going into a new field. Go slow, and take care of yourself first. Then you can be the best resource for others.

I hope that answers both questions <3

[popsicle-parfait]

Unfortunately I ended up losing interest in this draft and with the drama that keeps happening at Nijisanji I also lost the same likability in the streamers I once did. So if anyone wants to pick this up or just read it I'm going to leave it here.

It's a reader x Ike Eveland.

You have been playing video games for a couple of years now, and while you're not the best at them you do have a lot of fun while doing so. You've gone from gaming noob to posting professional tutorials for others like you on your blog. If you can't play a game you'll just watch streamers and analyze it so you can at least be aware of certain mechanics if you do end up buying said unobtainable game. The streamer you've spent the most money on was probably Ike Eveland, you weren't too interested in vtubers but something about his eloquence and how he engaged with his audience caught your eye. 

You've been watching him for a few months now so you can properly say you're a part of the quildren, as the fans put it. Apparently a new game came out and it was on everybody's wish list, but luckily you pre ordered it a long time ago, all that was left to do was boot it up and start playing. It was a classic mmo game and like the person you were, you decided to pick the female avatar since they have more cosmetic choices. You were a mage class so you'd have an easier time grinding and upgrading your skills compared to other classes, plus who doesn't like to buff yourself every now and again? 

You were in the middle of farming for a new armor set when someone sent you a group invite, who could this be? Their username was "TheNovelist" and they already seemed to be 5x higher than you in levels, so what could they possibly want with you? You decided to bite the bullet and clicked join, there were three people already active; one of them being the party owner in question. 

You took a quick look at their character profiles and the other two party members were a gunslinger called "Lionsgate" and a healer named "PotassiumFighter12", only one of those made your sweat drop. TheNovelist looked to be a swordsman, carrying a heavy greatsword and what looks to be a really OP armor set that got released. You all typed your hellos in chat before the forsaken conversation of 'Why' began to circle. 

Bellflower: Wow! You guys are stacked, are you about to do a raid? 

Lionsgate: Hell yeah! We're gonna defeat the newest mini boss! ∩( ✧Д✧)∩

PotassiumFight… : Unfortunately, we don't have enough potions to cover our stats so we asked our friend here to find someone who'll help

TheNovelist: It's ok if you're not a high level, we'll share the exp anyway! (^_^♪)

Bellflower: Oh alright! If you need anything from me just yell, my attention span is kinda bad lol

Lionsgate: Don't you worry your head Milady! We'll go in guns blazing! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

TheNovelist: Starting now

Honestly you've never been carried so hard in your entire life, but you can't deny the princess treatment isn't nice every now and again. The milady comment was odd considering you were sure you placed your gender as male in your profile but you'll take what you can get. After a few waves of monsters and drops to last you a few days, you were actually really enjoying yourself. The guys were funny and they all had such different personalities from what you could tell, plus they all seemed to know each other irl since the inside jokes were a bit odd. What the heck is a Shubert anyway? 

You were a bit confused but overall these guys really warmed your heart up! Afterwards you all parted ways and not even an hour later, you got a friend request from TheNovelist! The next day you decided to take a break for a bit since your hands were cramping and opened up YouTube to watch Ike's daily stream. It looks like he was playing that game you downloaded yesterday too, which you guess is pretty expected considering it was new and all.

[puppypeter]

I know that the whole idol/super fan dynamic is like, a core component of what makes RoyJamie so delicious, but I CANNOT escape the hilarity potential of famous!Jamie/chronically offline!Roy.

Like, in this au, Roy wouldn't be a footballer (which is also intriguing to me because that's such a key facet of his character, so I'd be interested to hear from you what other careers Roy might have!!) and it is essential that he is also chronically offline, like near hermit levels of sheltered from pop-culture.

Roy would then obviously meet Jamie for some contrived fanfic reason (my running idea is that they meet maybe in a late season two/season three timeline when Jamie is doing his self-motivated 4am training. Jamie motivated for Zava reasons and Roy motivated to avoid crowds/the heat). Roy would have his wattpad 'im not like other girls' moment when Jamie approaches him, obviously assuming Roy will recognise him, which Roy does not.

Of course this leads to Jamie fixating on this grumpy old twat whose buttons Jamie can soo easily press and who seems to have no fucking clue who he is. Roy will become like, Jamie's yoga mums, especially because at this point in time Jamie would still be pretty infamous what with everything going on with his career, so I think having someone who doesn't have a preexisting idea of who he is would be extremely refreshing for Jamie.

This of course leads to a slow burn strangers to lovers situation with the obvious angst potential of a civilian/celebrity fic (paparazzi, privacy, 'oh our worlds are so different, how could this ever work', etc).

ALTERNATIVELY, Roy could actually know who Jamie Tartt is, but for whatever reason he finds him annoying and when they meet he just pretends not to know who he is just to knock him down a peg. This version of the au has the fun potential of the whole 'i know who you are' reveal, but I'm undecided on which direction it should go.

Anyways, thanks for letting me word dump in your inbox, I LOVE your blog and your RoyJamie posts!! 💕💕

i love people word dumping about royjamie in my inbox ❤💙

I also love the famous/non famous. There's not many AUs in this fandom as being a footballer is such a core part of who they are it is difficult to imagine otherwise but coming from other fandoms I have so many ideas (take capitan america/stucky having many AUs and many capitan america/modern bucky barnes too)

I love the idea of Roy not knowing who Jamie is at all. I do have a think for the non-famous person having the most random normal jobs ever like

working the till at the grocey store (I wrote a post once about them meeting at 6am when roy starts work and jamie is stopping for water cause I'd seen a Tesco guy that looked like roy from far away lol) (funnily i often picture step dad simon in this job and that's how him and georgie met and they've actually known each other since jamie was a baby but it took him many years to ask her out)

grocery delivery guy (quiet, peaceful, listens to audiobooks while driving)

park ranger (again can meet at 5am, kudos if jamie sneaks into richmond park and roy fucking hates him for it until he gives up and lets him do it)

classics like baker, coffee shop, bookshop, mechanic etc

I do love the grumpy roy thinking jamie is a pretentious early morning running twat whose colourful atrocious shoes are blinding him. Like he doesn't know Jamie has a legit reason to do all that aka his career.

And of course the angst that would come from stepping into Jamie's world. I did see a post not long ago about a Jamie that is more bashful around dating (and also more protective of his privacy as he was in canon with Keeley). But also would be cute him bringing his fit older boyfriend to the charity gala.

Or what if he knew him from Lust Conquers All that he watched with the yoga mums and had no idea he was a footballer? Then he thinks Jamie is a very superficial guy, a cheater who only cares about his looks etc before Jamie annoys him day after day and he slowly falls for him.

Ok what if he and the yoga mums worked together somehow? He is the maintenance guy or the grumpy receptionist at the yoga gym / massage place or the grumpy delivery guy at the diner who covers the night shift at the counter so he can prep stuff and restock etc and jamie is there at 5am every morning for eggs and a chat and like the first 5 times it's just Jamie yapping on and on with a lot of sighs from Roy. Maybe it's the post-return to Richmond Jamie who is still very lonely, away from his family, no agent, no keeley, no team friends yet (remember how he kept going to keeley to talk and she took him to dr sharon? that didn't happen and he just decided roy would do.. and tbf he does tip well at least ahah)

I have sooooo manyyyyy thoughts!!!😊😊😊😊

[aethersea]

hi I hope i don't seem rude but what do you mean by "prev has been outlawed by staff"? hope you've a good day!

(in reference to this post)

so when you look at a post on your dashboard, or perhaps in the like blog-specific view that looks like the dashboard, there's that bit at the top that says current-blog [reblog symbol] other-blog, where other-blog is the one that current-blog (the one you're looking at) reblogged the post from. and it USED TO BE that when you clicked on the url other-blog, it would take you to this specific post on that other blog.

but no longer. staff recently pushed a change so that now when you click on the url of other-blog, it'll just take you to the top of other-blog, not to this specific post at all.

personally this pissed me off, because I like to follow reblog chains sometimes, especially of my own posts – it's neat to see what mutual spread the post so far and wide! or sometimes I come across a post reblogged from a friend, and I want to see what my friend said! or when someone reblogs something off my blog from a while ago, sometimes I wonder what it was I said on that post, so very long ago, and I want to go back and see what my tags were! but no, now we can't do that anymore.

apparently there's an xkit fix for this! I've been busy but I'm going to install xkit this weekend and give it a try, fingers crossed bc this has been really annoying. I'll report back once I've done it

and in case you're new here, explanation of what 'prev tags' means: a little while ago a trend arose of tagging a reblog 'prev tags' to mean "I liked the tags of the person I reblogged this from", instead of copying those tags onto the reblog itself. anyone who wanted to see those tags you liked would just click back in the reblog chain. only now you can't do that, bc staff took out that functionality.

it may surprise you to know I really disliked the prev tags trend :P tumblr blogs disappear or change urls all the time, or sometimes people delete posts, and then poof! the previous tags are gone! can't find them, can't see them, they'll forever be a mystery! plus I don't want to be constantly following reblog chains, I want to follow them when I'm actually interested. there's no need for this prev tags business, just copy the tags onto the reblog if you like them! (or into your own tags, which is also perfectly fine and friendly so long as you indicate that's what you're doing.) that's what we do here!

I say 'disliked' past tense bc I did see a few people say "prev tags isn't for ppl reading my blog, it's for the person I reblogged from, I am sending them a little kiss" and you know what I respect that. that's a conversation between two people, that's you two hanging out, that's chill. so these days I assume, for my own happiness, that that's what everyone intends when they say 'prev tags'. it's possible they don't always mean that, but I am assuming it, for me.

and I have had a good day, thank you! you're not coming off rude at all, don't worry about it, you're doing great <3 I hope you're having a good day too!

[antiradqueer]

Okay, allow me to tell you this story, because I literally just got back from school because I got sick BECAUSE of this story (it's not that bad actually, I'm pretty sensitive to these things, but it's still interesting)

So, there is a blog (that I prefer not to name) that is very famous among the community of my identity. I saw all my favorite blogs interacting with this blog and this blog has even interacted with ME (and they are so famous that I felt like I was talking to a celebrity that day)

But, I had never taken the initiative to follow them. Out of shame, since I felt they were a VERY important person and I am extremely sensitive to criticism (especially from people I consider important).

Well, I overcame all my shame and started following them a few days ago. I noticed that in their pinned post there was nothing about opinions on radqueers but since they always interact with my favorite blogs that are openly anti-transid and anti-c and vice versa, I just thought it was kind of obvious, like, I think being anti-PRATs is the "standard opinion", right?

Well, that went on for some time. Very little time, in fact. In less than two days, I noticed that their account simply disappeared from the list of people I followed. I was scared thinking that the account had been suspended, but I was suspicious that that wasn't the problem... And in fact it wasn't, they blocked me.

Well, it's not like I'm some horrible monster who would punish them for it or smth, but I was bothered by what I could have done to make this happen. I have never been blocked in my life, and by such an important person? I know being blocked on Tumblr isn't something you should take personally, but without any discussion? I don't wanted but took it personally, and that's what triggered my super-strong-anxiety-attack that made me feel sick today.

So, for that reason, I decided to check their pinned post again, see if I missed anything, violated any limits (unintentionally) or something, and then I logged in under another account, but I didn't find anything. But, of course, I still wanted to see their posts, and I kept seeing them (even though every time I remembered that anxiety and wondered if I was too horrible to be blocked by someone so amazing).

Then, checking out this blog of theirs and some other sideblogs (sorry, I know what I did sounds terrible, and it really was, but I became so obsessed with what I could have done, maybe this is my possible AvPD but I'm not sure), I found two very interesting things...

First, a post that started with "hey antis" (🚩?) and then went on to say that assuming that all transid or paraphilic people should "see a psychologist/psychiatrist" is the same as assuming that people with other disorders have to go to therapy to "cure themselves" and only then be allowed to live in society. And, in fact, if you think of "transid" as meaning, in this specific case, BIID or Munchausen (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it but I believe you know what I'm talking about), and think that paraphilic disorders still are disorders, it's a good point to make, so I didn't mind so much... But I was a little more alert.

So the second one was posted on the main blog, and it was simply they saying that "transid ppl are not racists or ableists, and most antis are ableists because they think being transid is a disorder and still shame people for it" and... Yeah, I think that concludes the story. I felt sick today because of the anxiety of the other days, but more than that, I can't stop thinking about it. It's like my whole world has fallen apart. Such a loved person in my community... and they simply support transid. Crying, screaming even.

TL;DR: there is this super famous blog in my identity community and I finally overcame my shame and started following them a few days ago, but I was blocked days later. I started looking at their blog (and sideblogs) to see why they blocked me, and I found, on a sideblog, a post saying "hey antis" and arguing that transids shouldn't be forced to go to therapy, and after forgiving that one, I found another post on their main blog, and this time it was just them saying that antis are ableists because "they think being transid is a disorder and they still persecute transid ppl".

sorry for the late answer

long ass ask so imma just let others read

[justicerikai]

graduation

In Japan, when one decides to move onto greener pastures or simply quit the current job they have been doing for quite a while, that is referred to as graduation.

And thus, I too, will be graduating from translating Charisma House.

Earlier this month (May 2023) I decided to go on a break due some medical and personal issues I had to deal with. No thinking about translating at all, just doing what I want and what I like. It's been roughly two weeks now and for someone who is doing things all the time, it was more than enough to decide where I want to keep going with translating.

Of course, this isn't a spontaneous decision. It's something that weighed in the back of my mind for a bit- can I handle all of this? I love translating, but can I handle all of it? No, I cannot. I need to know my limits.

But most importantly, know what's fun.

Charisma House was very novel for me. I had to learn to understand the humor, grasp what's being implied, the nuances of the jokes that can be easily misunderstood if not read properly. It was a challenge that definitely pushed me beyond anything else ever could. And yet, that honeymoon phase of grasping something so novel, so different, has come to an end.

I still love Charisma House, and always will. I actively keep up and peruse the interwebs for fun theories and content. Yet with the direction of Season 2, I have noticed... translating it no longer sparks joy as it once did. It is still good content, but not the one that made me lose my marbles, or perhaps I have simply gotten used to it?

Or perhaps, I simply just... lost the spark and drive I once had for it. And that is fine. Such is the beauty of what's fleeting, 物の哀れ if you will.

Translating Charisma House was, and will always, be a fun experience for me. I'm happy I took the risk, a mere amateur like I, to still translate it. I learned a lot, I laughed a lot, I shared a lot. I never thought I would translate drama tracks, or even still try with song lyrics (which I did give up on but alas). Besides this, I have also dabbled in subbing anime, I have even attempted manga translating. But at the end of the day I realized that what truly sparks joy, what actually is fun for me, for me is visual novel type content.

Not only that, I also want to translate because... I want to. Not because it is an obligation to give the people content. A few weeks ago, my favourite mobile game released an event with my two fave characters and I had so much fun working on it. I felt so excited with each phrase I translated, I couldn't wait to show this to people.

Even when I am thinking of an other mobile game that's coming out soon, all I can think of is "God, I cannot wait to share this with the masses! I have to! It's my duty as a human being!"

That feeling is, alas, what I have been lacking with Charisma House for a while. And that is when I should know better, and draw the line.

As I said, it is no longer fun.

Is it that serious? That I'm dropping a series that I have translated? No, probably not. Happens all the time, I'm sure there are others waiting in line to continue what I was doing, or maybe not. Who knows.

But to me, it is, and that's why I wanted to convey it in a long hefty post.

As closure, I will share some words of one of my favourite manga. Something I live by, and will for as long as possible.

"The world is filled to the brim with nice things... and all of them are carrying someone's intentions and feelings.

When those feelings get across and manage to make someone happy... I gain little pieces of confidence,

that I'll gather together and carry with me as I move on."

And I believe something like that, is only achievable when you do something that is fun, to you.

Thank you for reading, this post, and my translations. Thank you for being able to find enjoyment in Charisma House through my translations. This blog is not going anywhere and will stay up, of course. You will probably still see me around on my other ventures, just not here.

And never forget,

Rikai-kun is cute and he will always be.

Sayonara

[thatstonedwriter]

heyyy! I saw your shipping requests are open, so I decided to send one 😂 I'm fine with any character from The Boys🙏

I'm a bi korean woman with dark hair and black eyes. My first language is Russian. I work in a clinic, so I think my style is classic. I have a lot of tattoos and nose and lip piercings. I did them when I was a teenager. my tattoos are both beautiful and meaningful, I have a tattoo for the asoiaf universe, another tattoo with my favorite planet, etc.

I finished university a few years ago, and I have a degree in clinical psychology. In my country it took me more than 6 years but I was very happy. When I was a teenager, I wanted to become a clinical psychologist or therapist or psychiatrist. I was very interested in the human mind. My favorite book at that time was Crime and Punishment 😂

I read a lot of books, mostly classic and modern prose, I have a tiktok account in russian where I'm talking about my favorite books and authors (mainly Navokov and Dostoevsky). I haven't posted much lately since I'm pretty busy with other stuff.

In my free time I'm an artist, I have a blog where I post (mainly asoiaf) art. I did my first art in March when I had a lot of free time, and I wanted to draw my favorite characters. I made a great progress + already taking commissions. I love drawing, it just helps me relax (I usually listen to audio books when I draw)

I'm not very social person, I love my friends and my family, but I just don't like to be around people a lot. I live alone for almost 10 years and i love it. I wanted to get a cat a few years ago, but I decided not to. I don't know if I'm responsible enough for this.

When I was in school or uni, I always spent a lot of time studying. In school I did it cause I wanted to be better than people in my class and in uni I did it cause I loved studying. When I was a teenager I wrote a lot of poems and even won in a competition, I still write poems, but not that much and I don't show it to people anymore.

I hope that is enough info 😂😂 If I made any mistakes, I'm sorry, I still have troubles with Eng. Thank you sm♥️♥️♥️

A/n- Hello hello, and thank you so much for requesting! Your taste in art and books is so sophisticated omg. I also used to write poetry! I used to read my poems at Open Mic nights at my high school, and it was a lot of fun : ) your tattoos sound dope, too. One of your fave planet?! Please tell me which one. I think mine is Jupiter ☺️

Hope you enjoy!

I ship you with...

M.M!

Marvin really appreciates your calmer, methodical nature. Often times when the group is together, you're off with an earbud in one ear as you draw in a small space, secluded from the main area. Of course, it’s appreciated until MM needs your attention for a group meeting and you’re off in your own world. Usually he sighs, moves on, and resigns himself to explaining everything to you later- not that he minds such a softie

Your intellectualism and the way you strive for academic and personal success really sets you apart in Marvin’s eyes. Every day, he’s impressed and inspired by the dedication and care you put into all your projects- academic or otherwise.

Being less social isn’t something that Marvin takes an issue with in fact, I think he’d prefer someone more lowkey to balance out all the chaos already present in his life. I could see you two spending time reading/listening to audio books together. When you’re tired (it’s mostly just because he wants to), MM will bring you snacks so you can lay down and relax while he reads to you

MM needs a lot of help with managing his stress and OCD. It’s not the only thing that helps, but the perspectives and knowledge you’ve gained while studying psychology could potentially help with identifying coping mechanisms and ways of communication that help keep MM from breaking out with stress-hives.

Never mind any potential language barriers because MM actually puts in the effort of learning as much Russian as he can. If there are points where you can’t understand each other, Marvin has a translation app open and at the ready.

MM will forever be grateful for your sensitivity and creativity- your fascination with the human mind allows for a deeper understanding and empathy between the two of you. Any art pieces you give to MM are hung up around his designated space in the Boys’ hideout.

[rainytomorrows]

Raphael x Reader | Trans tape

I have Bayverse/2012 in mind right now, but I'll try and write it so that it fits more than that. I realize they have computers.  PLEASE just pretend whatever version you’re imagining doesn’t have personal computers. Anyhow, I'm writing a trans reader (FTM) for this one. I apologize dearly for my lack of truly neutral readers lately. It's been hard to find the inspiration to write in general. Enough of the excuses though, trans comfort! (2,283 words)

♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡

It had been an especially empty day in the lair. They’d saved the world yet again, and the consequence was an absolute lack of things to do. Even criminal activity was generally low enough that it was being handled. Everyone was grasping at straws trying to figure out how to spend their time. Obviously, the one to actually solve this was Donatello. Leo’s idea was to simply train non-stop, which no one could honestly say was helping. Mikey had tried to host movie nights and so on, which worked for a good couple of weeks until everyone was tired of that too. Raph hadn’t proposed much, as working out was his only real idea other than fighting crime. He wasn’t at all into the idea of sharing the weight room as a form of entertainment. That, and no one seemed as interested in crochet as he was.

All of this led to the genius idea. They needed something more expansive, and more independent. Donnie figured part of the problem was everyone being unable to do much of anything on their own. He got to the building, collecting the necessary parts over a span of a month or so. He was surprised he got it done so quickly, but that made sense knowing him.

He dragged everyone into the living room, where he’d set up a corny curtain, and stood in front of it like he had some major announcement. “So, in light of how bored we’ve all been for the past couple months,” “You’re giving us a computer?” Mikey shouted out, receiving a slap to the back of the head. The other two scolded him for interrupting, pointing out how hard it is to get computer parts and such. That’s when Donatello clears his throat, speaking up above them. “I actually am, but. Not just one” He states in his regular awkward tone, dropping his overdone curtain to reveal not one but three computers.

“I already have my own, but, I thought we all needed our own way to wind down and have fun. I built you all computers,” He goes on, stars already in Mikey’s eyes. “Of course I encrypted them, so I’d still be cautious, but unless you go around posting about us we should be safe.”

That was about a month ago now, Raphael had been enjoying the computer more than he’d admit. While he wouldn’t tell anyone, he had been going on a lot of blogs. Particularly for working out and music he enjoyed. Though, he quickly learned that he couldn’t just be honest on workout blogs. He was a good deal stronger than the regular guy, and his workout routine simply didn’t make any sense. He’d become a niche sort of celebrity on a couple of workout blogs, but not in a good way. Everyone was aware of him, the guy who kept lying about his workout routine for no good reason. He’d post a question and get responses like “We’re supposed to believe you’re just, lifting a good 900lbs? Casually? Fuck out of here man”

Anonymity did not save him from the first couple of times he asked questions honestly. It took him changing his username and profile picture, which saved him for a good while until someone stalked his account and realized he was the same guy who put forth the famous set of posts that got him excommunicated in the first place. That was the second time he was forced to change his photo and username, this time deleting all of his previous posts.

One day, however, he finds you online. He recognized your username, as you were the only one to try and help him when he’d posted initially. While you didn’t believe him either, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to simply answer his questions. You’d spoken with him back and forth when he posted on blogs for music you both liked, the same even going for various other blogs he was on. Such as, while he would never in his right mind admit it to Leo, he occasionally saw you when visiting the Space Heroes fan blog.

This goes on for a while, and he’d return the favor for you as well. You mostly visited workout blogs as you’d wanted to pass better. It seemed like every time you posted, he had a response.

“Good workouts for the chest, back, and shoulders?” Near immediate response from Raphael. As much as the rest of the community didn’t seem to like him, his advice always seemed to do well for you. When the two of you started to get along after his second time changing his account, it didn’t take a long time until you asked if it was him.

(BigRed4 Is online) Y/N: Hey, can I ask something? BigRed4: Sure, what’s up? Y/N: Is this RippedRed64? BigRed4: … Y/N: I knew it! Y/N: I do have to say I like this username better BigRed4: What gave it away? Y/N: Aside from your favorite color clearly being red? Y/N: You’re on the exact same blogs, Y/N: And you type the same. He didn’t talk to a lot of people besides his brothers, being recognized like that was a strange feeling. Entirely against his instincts as a ninja, though nice to have someone who liked him enough to recognize him through his interests and typing styles. He stared at the screen for a good minute, before finally deciding to respond.

Y/N: I was starting to miss you! BigRed4: Wdym? Y/N: “Wdym” my ass. We had a thing going!

He could tell you were joking, you did that often when he’d respond and message from his last account. The two of you did seem to help each other out when most other people online didn’t want to.

You started to message him more and more regularly, it went from the majority of your interactions being through other’s posts to simply DMing each other when you’d thought to. Sometimes about your shared interests, sometimes discussions on your workouts. Day by day, it became more and more personal. You’d talk about the weather (though he couldn’t see it, and would have to pretend), how your days went, the regular.

That is when the original major miscommunication happened. Raph noticed you started to go offline a lot more, and your posts slowed down. He didn’t want to pry, but admittedly he was worried.

BigRed4: Hey man is everything alright? Y/N: Yeah, why? BigRed4: You haven’t been posting. And you’ve stopped messaging as often. Y/N: Awww did you miss me? BigRed4: Answer the question Y/N: Fine fineeee

He kind of liked how you interacted with him- if that was a normal way to phrase things. He didn’t feel antagonized- and when he messaged you in his regular blunt way he seemed to be met with patience and more jokes. It was like you clicked- as if you just knew when he was and wasn’t mad. You knew how to make sure at the end of the day, he wasn’t angry. Whether or not he started that way.

Y/N: I got kicked out, I’ve been a little focused on moving.

This surprised him- were you ok? Upon questioning you explained the situation. Unfortunately- or fortunately for you both, you had assumed he knew what ‘trans’ meant. You were vague enough with the description that he’d assumed it was slang for being a mutant. You explained that your parents weren’t supportive of you being trans, to which you responded that you were born this way. You got kicked out and were in the process of getting and moving into an apartment. Somewhere closer to your job, as well. In hindsight, Raphael recognized that what he did was wishful thinking. That when you said ‘born this way’ you didn’t mean you grew up as a mutant, you weren’t really the same as him. But, that didn’t matter at all when it ended up not mattering one bit to you.

Y/N: A good majority of the posts I made on the workout blog were the workouts I was doing in order to pass better, since I can’t get surgery or hormones. BigRed4: I get you

Raphael thought you meant you were a mutant- and that you meant you were trying to pass as human. When you spoke about the trans community, he thought it was some underground group of mutants he wasn’t aware of. You spoke more and more, dumping more and more gas into the fire as it continued to get more and more misconstrued. Raphael had you convinced he was just another trans guy.

Raphael eventually offered to help you move in, once he’d been fully convinced you were a mutant. You thought this would be dumb, that you shouldn’t invite strange men over, but truthfully you were in a very bad place at the moment. You decided fuck it, making sure you have self-defense weapons on hand when he visits.

BigRed4: Hey, I’m at the fire escape Y/N: Why are you at the fire escape? BigRed4: I don’t fit through the door

Raph was joking, assuming you were too. As you usually did. He couldn’t just walk in! What you weren't expecting was the fucking unit that showed up at your window that night. You walk over, making eye contact with him. Both of you immediately drew the same conclusion: ‘This is not what I meant.’

He turns to leave, realizing what happened, but you open the window and call out before he can. “So uh, you’re BigRed4?” You ask, to which he returns to your fire escape and nods.

“You uh.. You pass well.” “No, I do not” “Look at you! The goal is to be a guy- right?

This causes the both of you to pause and think for a minute. “You are trans- right?” He gestures to himself as if it’s obvious. “Why aren’t you scared?” he asks suddenly, crossing his arms over his chest. Your eyes seem to hold the same sentiment about you he loved online, you seemed to just know how he worked. “Well, now I’m just confused. ARE you trans, or was this entirely you thinking this was a- whatever you got going on here?” He didn’t answer, which was enough to satisfy your question. “I don’t think we have the same idea of being trans,” you laugh a little, breaking the tension that had been building. “Come in, it’s cold out.”

It took a while, but eventually, you had explained to him what being trans ACTUALLY is over a cup of tea you made. It was all resolved pretty soon, and he upheld his promise to actually help you move in. Which was loads easier, now that you knew he really wasn’t lying on all those blogs. It had you thinking a lot- WAS he still lying a little or could he actually lift all of that? You set that aside- instead awarding his help by putting on a show you both liked and bringing snacks to eat with it.

You became quick friends, and started to hang out very regularly. While you already were, it was different now. What might have been an hour-long conversation over some website was now regular hangouts. Helping you work out, watching a show with you, or even just being there while you both did your own thing. One thing it would take years to admit, was why he didn’t introduce you to his brothers for such a long time. He would tell you it was for their safety, as he still wasn’t sure what your intentions were and everything. But, you seemed to think he was so cool. A good part of him just wanted it to stay that way. He wanted to be special- and not outshined by his brothers.

You seemed to have a particular shine about you, something that set you apart. He supposed that wasn’t saying a lot, since he didn’t meet a whole lot of people, but you really were something. He seemed to always be welcome over if it was a bad day, or if he simply told you it was a bad day because he wanted to see you. Which, by the way, wasn’t fooling anyone. It was fun for you to watch him huff and puff about something that clearly didn’t happen, so you never told him how obvious it was.

Being kicked out started to look like the best thing that could have happened. After long days of work, you’d come home to Raph. Who, more and more each day, became one of your best friends. Your walks home even seemed safer- though that was because Raphael had begun following your path and clearing it when necessary. The same reason he seemed to show up at your fire escape minutes after you arrived home every time. You had your own way of trying to protect him too, whether or not he knew it. You’d begun searching for any posts regarding him. He’d told you about how he needed his identity to be kept secret. So, that’s what you did. Any time you’d seen some post talking about ‘ninja sightings’ or ‘mutant spotted’ you’d bully them into oblivion. You felt bad, but you cared for his safety. You’d try to be nice when you could, but you simply found that it worked a lot better when your response was just ‘Are you insane?’ or ‘This is CLEARLY edited, look at the background’.

Either way, you both dearly valued each other. It was as obvious as the sun in the sky, even if neither of you would tell the other about what they did to show it half the time.

♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡

I hope you guyys enjoyed ! You have a owmderful day. Life is good. Have a good day/nightm and a great life!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

OK, Finish the Feed (adorable birds are a good place to stop) and Plug the Thing!

NEW STORY UPDATE!

Wow! 248 instalments of a thing? What a large thing! Someone must care very much about this thing, to keep adding so much to it! Or they're a total lunatic, and really, isn't that worth clicking too?

Heck, I dunno. Oh well. Soldier On returns with another six-pack! You can get the whole thing early at Ko-Fi!

Or wait for it to trickle out week-by-week, in an ersatz communal experience that does not include enough vocal people to form an actual community. Yet! Still lookin' for readers!

Current known readers: 3 (hi!), 1st Goalpost: 10?

Current supporters: 1 (hi Kith!), 1st Goalpost: 5?

And here's a sample from this week's instalment, under the cut!

Maggie and Hyacinth put Erik back on the bed, mostly free of the bag. He could have kicked it away easily, but he seemed a bit stunned. He was still talking, “Alice, if this is a sex thing I’m sure I’ve only hit my head a little and I’ll be fine in… No-no-no, what’s wrong with my eye? This isn’t what’s wrong with my eye!” He had a hand on it, feeling the edges of the metal socket with two fingers. “Is this a prank?”

“If it’s a prank, you’re the one playing it,” Hyacinth said. “That isn’t your eye, that’s Erik’s eye. Please don’t screw with me, I’ve had a long day. Do you honestly…”

“Who the hell is Erik? Is he the help?”

She took him by the shoulders and shook him. “David, please get your nose out of your past and come back to the present. You have been dead for thirty-five…”

“Thirty-seven,” Ann and Maggie said, on top of each other.

“Thirty-seven-years,” said Hyacinth, “and this is not you!”

“Alice, if you are trying to get me committed out of spite, it is not going to work,” he said. “I have far too much money and this cell will not hold me.”

“You have no money,” said Hyacinth, “and your ‘cell’ is another man’s body in a shitty Prokovian hotel! Barnaby and I fed you a bowl of painkillers in applesauce and you are dead! Do you remember that? Look for it!”

“I…” He wobbled and clutched a hand to Erik’s chest. “Um. Yes. Rather. Thank you,” he sketched a little bow, “um, for the assist, ah…” He glanced around. “Are we bringing people back to life now?”

“No, just you,” Hyacinth said sourly.

He beamed. “I deserve it!”

“I don’t think humanity does, but nobody bothered to ask me,” Hyacinth muttered.

He stood. “Are the press here?”

Maggie snatched him and spun him around, “Get out of my boyfriend, you twit!”

“Don’t kill me! I didn’t hurt him! It wasn’t my idea!”

“What?” she said.

“What?” he said. Trembling, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed his brow. “I don’t like this, oh gods, I don’t like this…” He startled at the sight of just how much makeup had come off on the white cloth, folded it and tucked it away, self-consciously. “Hyacinth, if I took some goddamn designer drug or something you would tell me, wouldn’t you?” He peered at her. “Is that you? You seem…”

“Old?” she said.

“Honestly, I’ve always pictured you about this age, but aren’t you shorter?”

“No, you’re taller.”

“What?”

“He is fucking with us!” Maggie snarled. She swiped at him, and he staggered and fell back on the bed. “You told us! He does this sort of thing! He’s…”

“He does,” Hyacinth said, “and he would, but I don’t think he is.”

He’d kicked off both shoes and was standing again, measuring Hyacinth with a hand against his chest. “You weren’t even this size when I found you. Stop slouching, dear child, or I shall put you in a corset.”

“I am not slouching,” she snapped. “Look up what happened five minutes ago and reorient yourself with reality, please.”

“You hauled me up four storeys in a laundry bag,” he replied. He shook Erik’s head again. “All right, where is Gray hiding? I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but I’ve had just about enough of it.”

“He is dead,” Hyacinth said.

“Don’t be stupid.” The god brushed her away and peeked under the bed, then strode to the closet.

Mordecai put out a hand to stop him, but he was too uncertain to manage anything save a single, quiet, “Wait…”

There was a full-length mirror inside of the closet door. David regarded Erik’s reflection, frowning, and wiped off a bit more of the makeup with the handkerchief. He leaned on the door frame and smiled, touching a finger to the glass. “Well, hello, handsome.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Maggie said.

“No you’re not,” said Hyacinth. “The motherfucker’s immortal.”

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