#actually please do i want this to get noticed

[mrsholmesreid]

EVERY FIRST, YOURS | spencer reid x reader

summary: you and spencer reid have been going out for a few weeks. he's taking things very slow, and you find his pace comforting and his awkwardness endearing. as your relationship grows more heated, you come to find that he was completely inexperienced before meeting you. you feel honored to be his first, to be the one he learns love from.

pairing: spencer reid x reader (no pronouns but reader has female anatomy)

word count: 9,05k

content warnings: fluff x smut, virgin!spencer, oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, aftercare.

author's note: i tried to portray spencer's inexperience in a way that's more realistic—despite him reading a lot and knowing everything about most things—and that followed his character's personality but that was still enjoyable to read. i hope you love reading this as much as i loved writing it! let me know what you think :)

You and Spencer had been going out for a few weeks. After reaching for the same book at a bookstore, the two of you started talking—and it didn’t take very long before you planned a date. He chose a nice restaurant, picked you up, brought you flowers, and did every other gentleman attitude in the book. By the end of it, you were sure he was going to make a move—kiss you, touch you, maybe even try to get you to go home with him—but he did none of that. As he dropped you off at your place at a reasonable hour, he gave you a gentle, respectful hug, and thanked you for an amazing time with the promise of calling you back again soon. And unlike most other guys, he kept it.

You thought he was the sweetest guy you’d ever met.

It was only by your third date that he tried to kiss you. The routine remained—picking you up, taking you to a nice place (this time it had been a museum, where he risked to hold your hand—and you let him), and then, finally, driving you home.

When you reached your doorstep, it was a little later than usual because both of you wanted to stay for a short lecture they were having at the museum. His eyes glimmered under the dim lighting of your porch, and in a quiet moment that followed after a string of warm laughter about the night’s events, he asked if he could kiss you.

You’d never had anyone ask you that before. Guys would usually just take the hint and lean in all at once. But for some reason, the care in his eyes, the way he rubbed his hands ever so slightly against his slacks—as if trying to dry off a thin layer of nervous sweat without you noticing—endeared you deeply. Your heart warmed at the way his eyes stared at you. His pupils wide, taking you in and eagerly waiting for an answer.

“Please?”

The word sounded more like a whimper coming from his lips. You were so deep in your thoughts about how adorable he looked when asking you that question, that you forgot to actually agree to it. You didn’t just want to kiss him. You wanted to scream, jump in his arms, kiss him all over, invite him inside, and give yourself completely to this charming man. But you didn’t.

It was clear by how nervous he seemed that he had planned every second of every date he had taken you on—including this very moment—and you wanted to let him do it. You wanted to play along, to let him win the little game he had in his mind. You knew he had probably rehearsed that line a thousand times before actually saying it to you. “May I kiss you?” You could almost picture him saying it to the mirror. So, you allowed him to set the pace.

“Yes,” you smiled softly, taking a small step closer.

The kiss that followed wasn’t exactly what you were expecting, but in a way, it couldn’t have been better. His breath hitched, and you could see the exact moment his brain short-circuited after hearing your breathy one-worded answer. He took another step in your direction, closing the distance between you but not quite letting your bodies touch just yet. He took a deep breath, and very slowly, pressed a brush of a kiss against your lips.

It barely lasted more than three seconds, but to you, it was an eternity. You never thought such a chaste peck could make that many fireworks go off inside your head. 

You didn’t know it then, but the fireworks in his head were much brighter than yours; for that had been his first kiss ever.

After that, he simply pulled back with the biggest, silliest smile you’d ever seen. He looked like a child that had just been given a puppy. Or even the puppy itself.

His flushed cheeks said everything he couldn’t, and after exchanging goodnights, he went back to his car, leaving you just as flustered and happy as him.

What had he done to you? You felt like a teenager in love for the first time. But whatever it was, you couldn’t help but crave more of it.

For the next couple of dates, he followed that same script—but now, with a goodnight kiss at the end of it. You kept letting him set the pace, enjoying how adorable he looked whenever the time to kiss you came. Even his behavior in the moments leading up to it would change. He’d get more talkative on the drive back to your place, and you could swear you even saw him unconsciously skipping after closing the car door for you before taking you home one time. You loved his silly smiles, and they brought up a bunch of your own.

But as the dates kept going, his kisses evolved.

The first time he changed it, was after he had taken you to an amusement park. You were both exhilarated after the adrenalin-fueled evening when you reached your doorstep, and as if on instinct, he pulled you in with his hands cradling your face as he kissed you for a lot longer than three seconds. 

He hadn’t done that yet, and he seemed just as surprised as you by his own, unexpected action. The way his fingers naturally threaded through your hair to bring you closer, how his lips pressed more purposefully against yours—your heart nearly stopped.

He pulled back slowly, his hands slipping shyly from your cheeks, and he looked like the floor could swallow him whole with embarrassment.

“I-I’m sorry…” He stammered, but you could tell that, deep down, he really wasn’t.

“Don’t apologize,” you smiled and couldn’t help yourself, tentatively stealing another peck. You didn’t even try to hide how much you’d loved the fact that he had lost himself in the kiss.

His blush deepened at your stolen peck, but you didn’t press him further than that.

“So… we’re okay?” He asked timidly. 

“Yeah… we’re okay,” you replied, your grin widening.

After that night, his kisses only grew deeper.

On the following date, he allowed his lips to move ever so slightly against yours, making your entire body shiver.

By the next one, he flicked his tongue over your lower lip, hesitantly begging for entry—which you granted him in a heartbeat.

His movements were shy and almost experimental at first, but not long after, the routine chaste goodnight kisses were replaced by his hands on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as your tongues danced together. You didn’t realize it then, but you were teaching him how to kiss.

You were starting to wonder when he’d want more. Your make out sessions were becoming more heated with each date; to the point that, one night, he even pressed you lightly against the wall. The desire between you was growing undeniably evident—both figuratively and literally.

You’d been waiting for the night when he’d ask to come inside—find an excuse to actually cross the front door limit you’d been teetering over, go into your house, and take things further. But he didn’t.

You were patient, though. You could tell he was very careful with everything you did together, and not only did you respect that, but you were thankful for it. You thought you might actually benefit from having someone be a little more controlled than you in a relationship for once. Ever so used to guys jumping to conclusions and skipping important steps, Spencer’s pace was a comforting change of scenery.

But then it finally came.

You were leaving the restaurant, his hand hovering over your lower back as he guided you back to his car like he always did. Everything was going exactly the same, following the usual script perfectly. The next steps were clear: he’d drive you home, you’d make out by your doorstep, then he’d say goodnight and leave you a blushing, butterfly-filled mess.

Until things took a different turn.

“You know,” he broke the comfortable silence, sliding his hand against yours and interlocking your fingers as you walked. You could feel how warm his hand was, and the slight dampness on it indicated he was a little nervous. “I finished setting up that new shelf I was telling you about,” he mentioned, seemingly casually. 

“Oh, did you? You actually figured out where all the nails went?” You teased him lightly.

He let out a soft chuckle, “Yeah, I did. And now I’ve finally organized my books. This time I arranged them by author and theme,” he added, his tone proud.

“It must look beautiful,” you said in all honesty, not realizing the actual weight of your words until he let out:

“Do you wanna see it?” His voice trembled slightly and you could see right through him. That wasn’t an innocent invitation.

Your heart skipped a beat. He wanted you to see it? Like, actually see it, in person, alone with him in his apartment?

You raised your eyebrows, your face a mix of shock and ecstasy. The time had finally come.

“Y-you mean…?” You stuttered, not wanting to jump to conclusions despite the sheer obviousness in his gaze.

“We could go to my place—I mean, stop at my place, before I drop you home,” his nerves were evident by the way he stumbled over his words, trying to play it cool. “Would you like that?” He asked, sounding eager for your answer.

Of course you’d like that. You’d been waiting for that moment for weeks. But still, given how slow he’d been taking things, you needed to make sure that was what he wanted.

“Yes, yes I would, but… Are you sure?” You asked as the two of you stopped by his car, his hand pausing on the passenger’s seat door handle.

His gaze met yours, deep and meaningful. “I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t sure.”

“Okay,” you nodded, the air between you thick with tension and understanding. “I’d love to see your new shelf, Spence.”

He smiled, a soft and genuine curve of his lips, as he opened the car door for you.

The drive to his apartment was quieter than your usual drives. It was like the both of you felt the weight of what was about to happen.

As he pulled over and guided you up to his place, you could tell he was nervous by how he constantly asked if you were feeling uncomfortable, cold, or tired. He was adorable like that, the true concern for your well-being evident in his actions.

“Make yourself at home,” he said as the two of you stepped inside. His apartment wasn’t too big, the perfect balance between having enough room and being cozy. It was warm and welcoming, the faint smell of books and coffee filling your nostrils.

“Thank you,” you replied. You watched as he carefully slipped off his shoes, so you did the same. “You have a really nice place, it’s very… you.”

“Thanks… Everybody says that,” he blushed. “Here, let me take this,” his hands gently slid over your coat, helping you remove it and hung it by the door. You gave him a soft smile, the thick atmosphere slowly fading into something more comfortable. You loved this about him, how he always felt safe, like home.

“So where’s this famous shelf?” You teased, his lips curling into a knowing smile.

“Follow me,” he said, offering you his hand—which you took without hesitation.

Spencer gently guided you further inside the apartment, showing you to the living room. The warm lighting casted soft shadows on the walls, giving the apartment a homey feel. There was a shelf filled to the brim on one side, but you could tell those weren’t all of his books, though. There were a few piled up next to the couch, which was large and comfy with pillows scattered all over it, and some more on the coffee table.

“Is this it?” You asked, pointing at the shelf as you stepped closer to it.

“The one and only,” he grinned, standing next to you with his arms crossed loosely over his chest.

“You did a really good job putting this up, it seems very… sturdy,” you said, running your hands gently on the shelf, as if studying it closely.

He smiled proudly. “Yeah, it took me a while. Hey, look through whatever you want, okay? I’m just gonna go grab a glass of water, do you want some?” He offered. As you turned to face him directly, you noticed his flushed cheeks and awkward demeanor. He was clearly nervous about having you here, like he was afraid of disappointing you, desperate to impress you.

You gave him a soft, reassuring smile, before politely declining, “I’m good, thanks. I’ll be right here checking out your beautiful collection,” you said, watching him leave while wiping his hands on his slacks like he always did when he was nervous.

You let out a soft chuckle, biting your lip as you thought about how lucky you were to be the one causing those adorable reactions on that man. Ever the methodic genius, Spencer kept surprising you every time you met by how comfortable he was growing around you. Still, watching him get flustered over the smallest details warmed your heart and filled your stomach with butterflies.

Running your fingers carefully over the spines of his books, you studied the titles but could barely register any of them. Your heart stammered against your chest, the idea of being there with him, alone in his apartment, was both exhilarating and terrifying. Despite the nerves, you didn't feel too bad, because you knew he was just as nervous as you. You could almost picture him pacing the kitchen, taking deep breaths and trying to calm his racing mind. And that mere thought had you smiling like a teenager in love.

You liked Spencer—you really liked him. And you didn’t want to mess any of it up. It had been long since you’d last felt anything remotely similar to what you felt for Spencer. Despite the two of you having not yet discussed the details of your relationship, you already considered him your boyfriend, and you desperately wanted to keep him around long enough to find out if he considered himself your boyfriend as well. And tonight was going to be a big step for the both of you.

Suddenly, you felt his hands sliding across your arms, gently encircling you with his own. Your entire body shivered, your skin feeling like it was on fire.

“You’re back,” you muttered, your voice strained with the surge of desire that coursed through you.

“Mhm. Did you miss me?” He hummed and whispered against the shell of your ear, pulling you back against his chest, your soft curves fitting perfectly against him. It was an unexpected move, but not at all unwelcome. His arms trembled slightly over you, as if he was terrified of your reactions, as if his heart was doing cartwheels in his chest—just like yours.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you joked, resting back against him with a smile playing on your lips. His closeness was both intoxicating and calming, and it took every bit of your strength to keep yourself in check. “But I did. Just a little bit, though,” you whispered.

“Just a little bit, huh?” He teased softly, his breath warm against your neck, making a shiver run down your spine with each of his words. “Well, good to know, because I missed you too.” He admitted sweetly, the words going straight to your core. Even though you were both only joking, only teasing each other for fun, the idea of him thinking about you made your skin tingle.

“Just a little bit?” You asked quietly, continuing the back and forth banter as your fingers intertwined with his.

“Mhm, no, I missed you a whole lot,” he muttered, his lips pressing a trail of soft kisses on your shoulder, going all the way up to your neck. Those words alone almost had you undone. You could feel his cheeks burning as he pressed them against your skin, the mere shift in temperature enough to make you wish you could see the shade of pink coloring over them.

“You’re blushing, aren’t you?”

“No…” He lied, his cheeks feeling even warmer against you.

With a swift motion, you turned around to face him, a surge of confidence taking over you. You wanted him, and you knew he wanted you too. His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders. “Liar!” You teased with a giggle, finding the redness on his cheeks absolutely endearing.

“Shut up,” he muttered, looking away with a shy smile as he pulled you closer.

“Look at me, pretty boy,” you tilted his chin with your finger so he was facing you. His eyes timidly met yours, his pupils dilating immediately at the sight. “You’re cute,” you teased, and his blush deepened.

“You’re beautiful,” he muttered, one of his hands sliding up from your waist to cup your cheek, his thumb lightly tracing patterns on your skin.

You tilted your head to the side, completely surrendered to the man before you; a soft, lovesick smile on your lips. When you noticed his eyes flickering down to your mouth, then back to your eyes, you already knew what was coming.

“M-may I kiss you?” He whispered. Even after everything, even after all the times you two made out passionately at your doorstep, he still made sure you gave permission. There was something about the tone in his voice when he asked that, the pleading shine in his eyes that betrayed the true desire in his chest. Everything about him charmed you.

“You really think I'd say no to that?” You smiled, leaning a little closer, your lips just a breath away from his.

He smiled shyly, as if he were unable to contain his own reactions. “Just checking in. I can barely believe you even let me have you like this,” he admitted, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Well, now you know,” you added. “I always want to kiss you.”

He pulled back slowly, his eyes widened with excitement meeting your gaze before he gently brought his lips to yours. The kiss was slow at first, tentative and hesitant. Like you both knew what it was forecasting.

His hands slowly cupped your face, as if he was holding the most precious thing in the world. As the kiss deepened, one of his hands slid to the back of your neck, threading through your hair to pull your mouth closer to his. Meanwhile, his free hand sneaked down your side, resting on your hip to bring you flush against him.

Your tongue slipped past his lips, tangling with his in a dance that grew hotter by the second. You could feel your heartbeat racing pressed against his chest, the rhythm mixing with his own. Your hands went from his neck to his lower back, dragging down his shirt until your fingers reached the hem, sneaking underneath the fabric to meet the warmth of his skin.

He let out a soft gasp into your mouth as your fingers trailed along the skin of his lower back, a shiver running down his spine. You smiled against his lips, enjoying how easily you could elicit reactions from him. Feeling your smile, Spencer tugged you even closer, kissing you even harder.

You turned to putty in his arms. The heat of the moment urged you on, making you slowly back him toward the couch until the back of his knees hit the soft material. Your hands went to his shoulders, gently guiding him down, your lips not leaving each other’s not even for a second. As he sat on the couch, you didn’t waste any time before climbing right on his lap.

His hands immediately met your waist, pulling your body closer until you were sitting directly on top of him. Desire shot up your body like electric shocks when you felt the evidence of his arousal nudging insistently against your clothed core. You pressed down gently, causing a spark of friction that nearly drew both of you insane.

Spencer groaned into your mouth, pulling back to rest his forehead against yours as he caught his breath. “We’ve never been this far,” he muttered, your breaths mingling in the small space between your faces.

“Do you want to stop?” You asked, trailing kisses on his jawline, all the way down to his neck. Your lips attached to the sensitive skin below his ear, unable to resist the need to suck and bite him softly.

“God, no,” he let out in a heartbeat, the earnestness in his voice enough to urge you further. You sucked a little harder on his neck, your tongue soothing the skin right after, making a soft moan escape his lips—the sound going straight to your core. “Damnit, that feels so good,” he muttered, making you smile against his skin.

You continued kissing down his neck to his collarbone, your mouth eager to find new spots that made him gasp. His hands slid down your hips to your backside, gently kneading the soft skin, the motion making you gasp and freeze on his neck for a second. You could feel your underwear grow damper, as well as his pants twitching underneath you.

“I-I’m sorry, should I have not? I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked first…” He muttered as you froze, his hands shaking as they hesitantly left your ass.

“No, no, that’s not it,” you quickly replied, guiding his hands back to where they were. “I liked it, I really did,” you smiled down at him, enjoying the sight of his slightly tousled hair and flushed skin. “You can touch wherever you want,”

“W-wherever I want?” He stammered, barely believing your words. His cheeks turned bright red. “A-are you sure?”

“Wherever you want, baby,” you whispered against his ear, drawing a satisfied sigh from him.

“E-even here?” He asked, the sound of you calling him ‘baby’ going straight to his groin as he gently spread your ass cheeks apart, kneading the flesh. Your head fell to his shoulder, your hips rolling against his as your body grew warmer with pleasure.

“Even there,” you gasped, your hands running down his chest reverently. 

“What about here?” He asked, his hands sneaking up to your ribcage, his thumbs tracing the underside of your breasts. 

“T-there too, baby,” you muttered as his palms slid further up until he was cupping your bosoms. His hands gently squeezed them, thumbs brushing against your hardened nipples over the thin fabric of your shirt and bra.

“I like that,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your neck as he played with your breasts.

“What, touching me?” You asked, completely focused on the feel of his hands on you, his body pressed underneath yours, and his lips on your skin.

“Well, that too,” he said, squeezing your breasts a little tighter. “But I meant you calling me ‘baby’.”

“Mhm, did you now, baby?” You teased, whispering in his ear.

The soft sound that escaped his lips was almost like a whimper. “Y-yeah, yeah I like that.”

“Good,” you murmured, your tone sultry against the shell of his ear. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you further down on him. Slowly, you began grinding your hips on his, unable to ignore the hardness that pressed against you. You could notice the hitch in his breath as the friction between your bodies took over your minds.

“Is this okay?” You asked as you continued rolling your hips.

“I-It’s more than okay,” he stuttered, his eyes wide as he stared up at you, his grip tightening on your hips as he guided your deliberate movements.

You grinned, leaning in to kiss him again. He complied in a heartbeat, his lips parting to allow your tongue inside.

The heat between you grew exponentially. It was happening, it was really happening. You were grinding down, basically dry humping Spencer Reid as he kissed you like a man starved. It felt like a dream come true.

The desire between you was getting harder to ignore. It was obvious what this was leading to, the tent in his pants and how you rubbed against it were nothing near innocent. But you didn’t want to be the one to take the first step. You didn’t want to seem too eager or to make him feel like you were pushing something on him—but god only knew how badly you needed him.

Then he pulled away, gasping for air, his skin flush.

“I want you,” he admitted. “I want to take you to my bedroom.”

You could tell he was nervous, that admitting this to you was probably one of the hardest things he ever had to say. You smiled, wanting him to know it was okay and he could trust you. You wanted him to know that you wanted him too.

“I’d like that,” you said, kissing his cheek. “I’d like that a lot, actually.”

“Really?” His face brightened, his hand coming to cup your cheek.

“Yes, really,” you smiled. “Only if you’re sure about it, though.” You brought your hand to his face as well, losing yourself in the sight of him asking you this.

“Oh, I’m sure,” he nodded quickly, almost desperately. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“Really?” You blushed.

He nodded, blushing as well. “Yeah, I've… I've actually been picturing tonight from the very beginning.”

Your entire body shivered. “Me too,” you admitted quietly.

“Really?” He asked, his eyes wide with disbelief and something warmer—desire, admiration, love…?

“Yes, really,” you chuckled softly. “I actually thought it would happen sooner,”

“Oh,” he let out. “Did you want it to have happened sooner?” You could almost feel the insecurity in his tone.

“No, no, that’s not it,” you quickly added. “It’s just… Most guys would’ve tried to do this earlier, you know? But… I’m glad you didn’t,” you smiled softly, reaching up to caress his hair.

He melted into your touch, his face relaxing at your words. “I didn’t want to rush things with you. You mean a lot to me,” he smiled, his eyes wide staring up at you.

“You mean a lot to me too,” you replied, leaning down to kiss him.

His lips met yours softly, the both of you drowning in the sensations. The heat between you was still very present, so it didn’t take long before he was helping you off his lap and guiding you to his bedroom, the kiss not breaking for a second.

He kicked the door shut behind you carefully, gently backing you toward his bed. As the back of your knees hit the edge of the mattress, he slowly pushed you down onto it, crawling on top of you.

His body hovered above yours as you made out, hands exploring each other’s bodies with reverence. You could tell he wasn’t very used to this, his limbs trembled slightly against you as if he was overthinking his every action.

His knees gently spread your legs apart so he could fit his body between them, which you easily allowed. His hips pressed down against yours, your arms enveloping him and dragging him closer to you. His kisses grew even more heated, lips trailing down your jawline to your neck as he ground down against you. 

The way you gasped, the soft moans that spilled from your throat, everything overwhelmed him in the best way possible. He loved how responsive you were, how you showed him with every breath you let out how badly you needed him, just like he needed you.

His face left the crook of your neck to stare down at you, hands paused by the hem of your shirt. Silently asking for permission, his gaze met yours to find your desires mirrored in each other. No words were needed, his fingers gently tugging your shirt upwards until it was tossed across the room. His own shirt followed soon after.

Your chests pressed together snuggly as Spencer found his way back to your neck, his lips sucking gently on the sensitive skin below your ear. His hands sneaked down your back, fingers fumbling with the clasp of your bra.

“Need any help?” You chuckled quietly, not in a mocking tone, but rather raw endearment for his gentle ministrations. 

“Yes, please,” he blushed softly. You reached behind your back undoing your bra with practiced ease. The straps fell loosely off your shoulders, the cups still covering your breasts.

“May I?” Spencer asked, his fingers stilling on the straps. You nodded, helping him as he slid off the garment.

His eyes widened noticeably at the sight of your bare chest as he tossed your bra away. “You’re breathtaking,” he muttered in complete awe of you, his fingers kneading the soft flesh with worshipping care.

Before you could respond, his face bent down to latch on one of your nipples, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud as he sucked it into his mouth, a satisfied sigh escaping his throat as he felt it harden between his lips. You let out a low moan, your hands trailing down his back, tracing slow patterns that made his skin tingle.

His free hand played with your other breast, making sure he was lavishing attention to both mounds as he switched between sucking and squeezing each side. He was lost in the taste of you, nursing as if he’d been hungry for you for months.

Your chest rose and fell with your ragged breaths, pleasure overtaking you. His hips didn’t falter their grinding, the evidence of his desire causing a mindblowing friction between you. 

Your hands shyly sneaked down his back, hooking on the waistband of his pants. As your fingers trailed lightly under the fabric of his boxers, he hitched against your chest, letting go of your nipples to look up at you.

“May I take these off?” You asked quietly.

He nodded eagerly, his hands reaching down to help you as he unzipped his pants with a clumsiness that neared desperation. His pants were on the floor in no time, the thin grey fabric of his boxers doing little to conceal the hard line of his arousal.

The sight nearly drove you mad, your hands reaching down to your own pants, hips lifting off the bed to pull it off.

Spencer’s hands met your waistband in no time, helping you remove your pants. Each inch of your bare skin being revealed made his heartbeat rise a little more, the weight of the moment pounding against his chest. He needed you like he never needed anything else before in his life.

You gently pulled him back up, your lips catching his in a searing kiss. Your bare chests pressed together, the warmth of his skin seeping through yours as your kisses deepened. Spencer continued grinding against you, the only barrier left between your sexes being the thin fabric of both of your underwear.

Your sight was blinded by a haze of desire. You wanted him, you needed him to take you, you needed to feel him deep inside you. Not able to contain yourself, you reached down to hook your fingers on the waistband of his boxers—being careful not to overwhelm him, but also not wanting to wait any longer.

He let out a soft gasp into your mouth, pulling back from the kiss to rest his forehead against yours as he caught his breath.

“Sorry, too much?” You whispered, your fingers stilling around his hips.

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just… I should probably tell you something,” he muttered, a blush creeping up his already flushed neck.

“What is it? You know you can tell me anything,” you murmured softly, your tone sweet and understanding, but laced with a tinge of concern.

“I… I haven’t exactly… I mean, I haven’t really… this is kind of my…” he stammered, struggling to put his thoughts into words, but you understood what he meant immediately.

“...Your first time?” You finished for him. He nodded shyly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “This is your first time, Spence?” You confirmed, your hands sliding up his back, your touch filled with affection.

“Yes… I’ve never… done this with anyone before. I actually hadn’t done anything with anyone before you,” he admitted quietly.

“Wait, you mean… nothing at all?” You asked, a little bit in disbelief. He nodded, making your heartbeat quicken. “Spencer, was I… was I your first kiss?” You asked, your eyes searching his, your expression unreadable.

“Yes… you were my first kiss, my first… everything,” he whispered. “Do you think I’m pathetic? It’s okay, you can be honest, I’ll understand…”

“No,” you interrupted. “I could never think that.”

His eyes lit up, finally running back up to meet yours. “Really?” He murmured, unsure if he wanted to hear your real answer or a made up lie to avoid hurting his feelings.

“Yes, really. I think you're so sweet, Spence, I could never think anything less of you. And the fact that I was your first kiss, your first… everything, is so special to me. I couldn’t be happier that you let me be the person who showed you this side of life,” you smiled warmly, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. “The only thing I wish had gone differently is that you’d have told me earlier. If I had known, I would’ve been gentler, kinder, more understanding…”

“But you were all of those things,” he muttered, his eyes soft staring down at you. “You were the best person I could think of to do all of this. You’re the first person who’s ever made me feel like this, like… I could take all the love you can give me and still crave more.”

Your gaze softened, your chest warm at his admission. “I’m so glad you trust me. You make me feel that way too,”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss on your lips. It was chaste, but meaningful. When he pulled back, his eyes met yours with renewed desire, but this time, they were filled with something warmer, something more understanding than pure lust. None of you dared to name it then, but that single look you two exchanged was the first seed of love starting to bloom between you.

“I want you,” he muttered.

“I want you too,” you replied.

Your lips crashed together again, hungrier this time. Your tongues tangled in a sensual dance, the fire between you heating up once more as your fingers found their way back to the waistband of his boxers. But this time, he helped you tug them off.

As soon as the garment was tossed across the room, his hands reached down for your panties, fingers hooking on their sides as you lifted your hips to help him slide them off your legs. Once you were both bare, his body settled between your legs, the skin-on-skin contact bringing your connection to a whole new level of intimacy and pleasure.

Your senses were heightened by each brush of his skin on yours, the warmth between your legs growing wetter with each movement. His hands kneaded your skin—the moans that escaped both of your throats filled the room as his fingers worked on finding your sensitive spots while grinding down against you, his bare length sliding between your folds and bringing both of you to the brink of giving into the fire burning between you.

You wanted his first time to be perfect. You wanted to give him the best experience possible, to be there for him all the way—much unlike most people’s first times. You noticed how sloppy and unthought through were his actions, you could tell he was moving on pure instinct and response observation. He seemed acutely aware of each of your actions, each of the sounds you made; following the path that led to them like he was tethered to your gasps and the arching of your back.

“I want to taste you,” he whispered, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Are you sure?” You blinked up at him as he rolled his hips slowly, his erection sliding lazily against your thigh.

“I’m sure,” he nodded. “I’ve read a lot about it online—about all of this, really. I think I have a pretty good idea of how things are supposed to go,” he explained proudly.

“Well, that’s great baby, but practice is very different from theory,” you said softly, caressing the back of his neck.

“Oh trust me, I know. None of this is like anything I expected, but… I want to learn… If you’ll let me…?” He trailed off, his gaze flicking down to your core then back to your eyes.

“Of course I’ll let you,” you smiled. “I’ll guide you through it if you need me to. But please, don’t do anything you don’t want just to please me, okay? I’m here for you, I want tonight to be a good memory,” you said, your tone dropping an octave and becoming more serious.

“I know,” he nodded, nuzzling his nose on your cheek. “Trust me, I want this very much. Maybe even more than you, probably even more than you,” he admitted, making you blush.

“Suit yourself, then,” you smiled, your body already thrumming with the thought of having him between your legs.

Slowly, he began trailing hot, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses down your body. He lavished attention to your breasts, ribs, stomach, then finally began moving up your inner thighs. His hands gently scooped them up, placing them over his shoulders as his lips trailed dangerously closer to where you needed them.

His fingers spread your wet folds, revealing the flush, wet skin underneath. His breath hitched, and almost as if worshipping you, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your most sensitive spot.

He hummed against you, enjoying the taste and feel of your intimacy like nothing he’d ever felt. His lips closed around the sensitive bud, sucking it into his mouth as his tongue darted out to taste you. You moaned softly, your hands threading through his hair as your thighs threatened to close around his head. His hands carefully pried your legs apart, holding you open for him to feast on you with abandon. 

You could tell the rational side of him was slowly fading away, like he was giving into the moment without overthinking things he might've read online. He carefully tried to insert his middle finger in you, missing the spot a couple times before he finally managed to slide it in. You smiled, looking down at him.

The sight of him between your legs, hair tousled between your fingers, eyes shut as he lost himself in the act of pleasuring you—all of it drew you closer to the edge. He moved his fingers sloppily, and you let him explore. Something about his eagerness to learn and the way he seemed overwhelmed by his pleasure heightened your own.

Then he slid another finger in you, making a come hither motion until he felt a rougher patch. The way your hips bucked when he rubbed it told him everything he needed to know.

He continued thrusting his fingers, trying to hit that spot every time as his tongue lapped hungrily over your clit, following the direction your hand guided his head to. 

“Fuck, that's it, Spencer… that's it, please don't stop…” You whimpered, your legs trembling on his shoulders as you felt your release building. 

He looked up at you through hooded eyes, your words urging him on. He continued eating you out, groaning against you as he found pleasure in the act of pleasuring you. As if on pure instinct, his hips began thrusting against the bed, grinding his erection on the mattress, seeking some sort of friction to relieve the pleasure he felt. It was all overwhelming to him, he never expected to feel this much pleasure by going down on someone else.

He could feel you clenching down on his fingers, your walls beginning to flutter around him. He moaned, the sound vibrating against your core, heightening the pleasure you felt.

He had to force himself to stop grinding on the mattress, or else he'd be finishing too soon. Determined to bring you over the edge, he kept going, his eyes fixed on you as he ate you out.

“Are you close?” He asked, taking a break to breathe, though his fingers didn't falter.

“Yeah… please don't stop…” You moaned, already bringing his face back down onto you, trying to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible.

He understood what you needed, bending down to continue lapping at you, set on prolonging your release as much as possible. Overtaken by the pleasure, he sped up, trying to get you there faster.

“No, no, Spence, don't speed up!” You begged, your vision blurring with the impending orgasm.

“Sorry, I'm sorry,” he muttered, going back to the former pace until he felt you shaking in his arms.

It was official: Spencer Reid had made someone come.

You moaned his name, legs spasming around his face as he lapped down your release. His fingers gently withdrew from you, his lips kissing your thighs as you came down from your high.

“Did you… did you really just…?” He asked still in disbelief, looking up at you starry eyed.

“Yeah… I did,” you breathed out, your body still thrumming with the aftershocks of your release.

“I… I made you come?” He smiled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he slowly crawled back up your body.

“You sure did,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around him. “Thank you, that was… amazing,” you said, kissing his cheek.

“Was it really? I've never felt anything remotely similar to this in my entire life, it was… beautiful. I've never seen anything more beautiful than you letting go like that,” he admitted, his pupils wide and his lips tugging on a silly, lovesick grin.

“You did a really good job, baby,” you held him close, your body starting to recover from the aftermath.

“Are you sure? What about in the end when I sped up?” He asked, his tone dripping with insecurity but also curiosity to learn.

“Oh, don't worry about it, you're a fast learner,” you giggled softly. “It's just that, when I'm getting closer to release, it means you're doing something really right—so don't change it unless I ask you to,” you explained, your fingers tracing patterns on his back.

“Duly noted,” he smiled. “I'll remember that.”

Then he leaned down to kiss you, his forearms caging around your head as your lips met. You could taste yourself faintly in his mouth, and as his body lowered closer to yours, you felt a droplet of something wet fall on your stomach.

Looking down, you realized what it was, a blush creeping up your cheeks. He followed your gaze, noticing what was happening as well, his face hiding in the crook of your neck. You could see how his length throbbed, standing proudly and dripping on your stomach. 

“Uhm… I'm sorry about that, it's just that I…” he stammered, struggling to find less embarrassing words than ‘I'm so hard for you I could come from a single touch of yours.’

“It's fine,” you reassured him, cupping his cheek. “If you want to, I could return the favor or… or we could try something new…” You whispered.

His entire body shivered at your words, his eyes shutting as he tried to control his body's reactions. “As much as I'd love for you to return the favor, I don't think I can… last much longer if you do,” he blushed. “But trust me, if you let me, I'll hold you to that offer.”

You chuckled softly, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Your call, baby. We can try whatever you want, whenever you want it,” you added, peppering light kisses down his neck.

A smile creeped up his lips as you kissed him. “I want… you. I want to take you now, if you'll let me,” he swallowed hard, nervousness battling with excitement in his chest.

“I'm all yours, sweetheart,” you murmured against the shell of his ear, making his entire body shiver.

“O-okay, then I should… I should grab a c—uhm, protection, I mean…” He stumbled over his words, quickly standing from the bed and looking through his nightstand’s drawer.

You chuckled softly from the bed, watching him nervously looking for the tiny box and pulling a wrapper from inside. “Got it,” he said, claiming his find with a satisfied smile.

“You know… We could go without it if we wanted to,” your eyes glimmered with mischief.

“A-are you serious?” He stuttered, unsure, but not appalled as he sat back on the edge of the bed.

“I mean… We're both clean, aren't we? And I'm on birth control… But it's up to you,” you blushed as the words left your lips, but you couldn't help yourself.

“Y-you’d let me? For real?” He blinked, still in disbelief.

“Yeah,” you smiled.”Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he nodded eagerly, not missing a second. He tossed the condom back in the drawer and climbed back on the bed, his body caging yours against the mattress. “Are you completely sure, though?” He asked again, his body trembling with excitement, his hands running up and down your sides.

“I'm sure, baby,” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him. 

He kissed you fiercely, his tongue delving deep into your mouth as his lips moved hungrily against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling his hips down against yours.

You moaned at the feeling of his hardness pressing down on you, your hips bucking up to meet his. The movement from your hips elicited a guttural groan from him, his length grinding desperately between your glistening folds.

“I think… I think I'm ready,” he muttered, your breaths mingling as he pulled back from the kiss.

“Do you need help, baby? I can take over,” you suggested, noticing how nervous he was.

“No, no, that's fine I… I wanna try. But I'm glad to know you're willing,” he smiled, his hand moving down to grip his base.

“Of course,” you smiled back, your eyes rolling back as he rubbed the tip of his erection across your slit. 

“Fuck, that feels so good,” he shivered, letting out a curse.

You chuckled softly. “Language,” you teased.

“Sorry,” his cheeks turned pink as he began trying to nudge himself inside you.

You let him explore a little, noticing he was trying to fit it in, but struggled. You wanted to let him try, to let him have the feeling that he had some sort of control over this situation, so you didn't interfere.

“Shit, sorry, I'm just… it's just slippery…” He mumbled more to himself as he continued pushing, unsure whether he should use more of his hand or his hips. 

“It's okay, baby, may I help?” You asked softly, not wanting to embarrass him.

“Yes, please,” he blushed, letting his hand fall to the side.

You reached between you bodies, grabbing him and positioning him right at your entrance, nudging the tip in slightly.

“There you go,” you muttered. “Now you just thrust forward,” you explained. “It might slip again, but it's normal, okay?” You told him softly.

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” he nodded, overwhelmed by the sensation of your grip on his tip. “Are you ready?”

You nodded, letting him know it was time. He leaned back down, slowly easing himself inside you with a roll of his hips, until he was entirely sheathed within your heat.

He let his forehead rest against yours, your ragged breaths mingling together as the two of you adjusted to the sensation.

“How do you feel?” You asked quietly, looking up at him.

“So… so good…” He muttered, his hips shifting slightly. “It's so tight and… warm… I love it,” he admitted, slowly beginning to move.

You watched his face closely, admiring how his features changed with each of his thrusts, betraying the pleasure he felt. His rhythm was messy, his legs struggling to find the right ways to support his body as his hips surged forward again and again. 

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his arms supporting his body above yours as he continued moving. He groaned against your ear, the sounds mixed with low moans and soft whimpers as he made love to you.

“Am I doing this right? Does this feel good to you?” He mumbled, trying to angle his moves but accidentally slipping out, quickly sliding in again. “Sorry about that,” he whispered, one of his hands coming up to fondle your breasts. 

“It feels so good, baby, don't worry…” you moaned softly, your legs wrapping around his back to bring him closer. “Keep going, just like that, fuck… You're doing so good…” 

Your words urged him on, his hips moving faster against you. You gasped, the feeling of having him inside you almost too much. You loved watching him learn, how his uneven thrusts slowly became a little less messy, how he whispered ‘sorry’ whenever he accidentally slipped out… Everything about it endeared you.

You'd never had sex like this. So messy, and yet it was perfect. You felt the emotion with every thrust, every moan, every sloppy kiss he left on your neck. 

You noticed how his thrusts became even sloppier, how his grunts grew deeper and how his body tensed.

“Baby, I'm… fuck…” He groaned, his hips faltering for a moment before they continued thrusting forward. “...I'm close. Like, very close.”

“That’s it… Don't stop, keep going…” You whispered, your hands caressing his back as you leaned in to kiss his neck. “You can let go, let yourself feel good,” you whispered to him.

No further words were needed. With a deep, guttural groan, he pushed himself as deeply as he possibly could inside you, letting the pleasure take over him as he filled you up with his release.

“Spencer!” You moaned aloud, wrapping yourself around him as your second orgasm rippled through you. Your legs trembled around his waist, his body crashing down on top of you.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't pull out, I made a mess…” he mumbled against the skin of your neck.

“No, no, baby, it's okay… I don't mind it in the slightest,” you muttered to him, your hand caressing his back. “How do you feel?”

“Amazing. Beyond words can express,” he replied, rolling off you so he was on his back next to you. You turned to face him, laying on your side.

“I'm so happy to have been your first,” you whisper, snuggling against his side.

“Me too… You were perfect, absolutely… Wow…” he gasped, catching his breath as he wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you close. “Hey, did you…?” He asked, frowning slightly as he looked down at you, still soft with the aftermath.

“What? Finish?”

He nodded, a blush creeping up his cheeks. You hummed in agreement, nodding eagerly with a smile.

“Really?” He asked again, his eyes widening slightly at your response. “Again?”

“Yeah, again,” you blushed.

“Oh my—you’re amazing,” he muttered, wrapping his arms tightly around you and leaning down to kiss your forehead.

You giggled softly, burying your face on his chest. “We should probably get cleaned up,” you said, feeling his release coating your inner thighs.

“Right—yes, sorry, aftercare,” He said, quickly hopping off the bed to grab a warm washcloth in the bathroom. 

He came back, sitting at the edge of the bed as he cleaned you up reverently. You watched in complete awe of him, enchanted by the earnest care he poured in his every touch.

“There you go,” he whispered, tossing the washcloth as he climbed back on the bed to cuddle you. 

“Thank you,” you said, letting yourself be enveloped by his arms.

“That was the bare minimum,” he muttered against your hair, breathing in your scent. “You know, we should do this again sometime,” he let out quietly.

You chuckled softly, the sound vibrating in your chests that were pressed together. “Of course we're doing it again, that's what boyfriends do to their—” you stopped yourself after realizing what you'd said.

“Wait, wait. What did you call me?” He froze, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“B-boyfriend…?” You hesitated, unsure about how he'd take it.

“So I'm really your boyfriend?” His smile widened.

“Well, I know we haven't talked directly about this before, but I've kinda been thinking about it, and—”

“Of course I'm your boyfriend! Oh thank god, I was starting to worry I was reading into things…” He sighed, relieved.

“Really? Oh good, I was so afraid too, you were being so careful with everything,” you sighed as well.

“You had nothing to be afraid of, did you really think I'd ask to have sex with you if I wasn't in love?” He let out as if it were obvious, barely realizing what he'd just said before you interrupted:

“You're in love with me?”

“Oh my—I mean, well, it's not that I'm…” He stammered, unable to cover up his slipup.

“Spencer, shut up,” you said, silencing him with a searing kiss. Startled, he kissed you back, his hands finding the back of your neck to pull you closer. “I'm in love with you too,” you whispered as you broke the kiss. 

The silly smile that spread across his face almost had you undone again. “Should I take that as a yes?” He murmured.

“A yes to what?”

“A yes to us doing this again?” He nudged you playfully.

You let out a warm chuckle, “Yes, Spencer. We're definitely doing this again.”

“Yes!” He celebrated, pulling you in even closer as he buried his face in your hair, your bare bodies tangled together impossibly under the covers. “I love being in love with you,” he whispered softly.

“I love being in love with you too,” you whispered back.

author's note 2: thank you for reading this all the way!! let me know what you think of this, and tell me if you'd like a part 2!! i may have ideas 👀

find me on other socials!

twitter: @/mrsholmesreid

character ai: @/mrsholmesreid

insta: @/mrsholmesreid (inactive but can be used for dms)

p.s.: i take requests, dm me!!

[shoujoboy-restart]

Oh thought I was rebbloging from them, eh potato potato.

Also why would I be "scared" of them lol, you yourself said THEIR comparison isn't good, I'm not the one saying abortion for women is equal or comparable to the draft for men, they did.

> I've seen no love for Tate from MRAs

Neither have i because the MRA movement is dead and rotting when it comes to relevance in politics and social discourse at all, you had to bring it up unrelated, no, literally I also had to check if I even said "MRA", I only used "men's right" generically and obviously about the concept not the movement, that's how irrelevant it is to discussions now days.

Which makes this weird strawmans and skeleton digging you are doing really embarrassing

Idk who this warren dude is, good for him, bad for for him whatever, seems like a guy who the topic of a generic buzzfeed feminist article in the 2010s that would make some good and bad point about his beliefs i guess.

Roosh v, don't know don't care, I can remember the name only and he seems to call himself a pick up artist from I've seen, so the anti-sjw slop tubers from 2014 would probably go to great lengths to make him seem more relevant than he is just like mainstream media and probably use him for click bait, but whatever he's doing is for money and grifting by default from what I can see in the surface and that's just common sense I don't make rules lol.

Marc Lepine...

So a random anti-feminist shooter from the 80s? There's like a handful of them, again idk how he's relevant to this discussion specifically, like if you are using this to relive a debunk post you made against We Hunt The Mammoth in the 2010s and you felt it deserved more notes I will need you to pay before and after you finish and i ain't no cheap hoe. But I can definetely see a 2010s video by a random slop tuber that would use the fact he killed men too as proof "he's not a Real™ anti-feminist", make a bunch of edgy commentary about how actually someone should have pitty fucked him for the benefit of society, women shouldn't have been so picky about his demonic depressed aura and they should have thought of him when fighting for women rights completely unrelated to whatever internal issue he was having, issues which the slop tuber and his audience would probably call "socialism welfare" if separated from the topics of men's rights (again, generically, no one is referring to a movement that failed upwards, please move on 2010s it is better for a everyone if we do that)

Honey Badger Brigade, oof that's a deep cut, remember when they tried to go on Metakour's stream to beg for money for that pointless lawsuit going back where they said "actually we are now going to represent ourselves because all lawyers are dumb and don't know anything" which looking back as a adult really just came off as begging and trying to extend their 15 minutes of fame and that any lawyer worth their salt was telling them the contract they signed probably said they could lose their spot whenever and for whatever reason, I also remember when the butch one started using every slur know to man trying to be one of the Cool YouTubers™ 😎 when responding back to Metakour's not giving a shit about men rights because he didn't care about politics of any kind and told them to stop begging his viewers for money, even at like 14 i cringed and noticed how desperate they were to be pandering to anybody that gave them relevance, like nothing shows you REALLY care about men's right than using slurs like the hard-r n-word that dehumanized men based on their skin color and ethnicity, honestly they were the definition of pick me if you ask me, just saying whatever men wanted to hear with no care of concistency or true higher beliefs because it gave them some sort of relevance they could get if involving themselves with real world activism.

Yeah I genuinely don't get why you just brought up some random Mc Nobody author, one of the handful of grifters before Andrew Tate perfected the formula and prepared the soil for him to land, a random anti-feminist shooter form the 80s that would probably get some Devil's Advocacy for YouTube clicks from grifting slop tubers which would be consumed uncritically and then would make y'all look bad obviously and two pick me that had no real beliefs, begged for money every other week for like the political equivalent of pizza parties and would had no real opinion besides whatever mediocre men would like to hear women say.

Again, I said "red pill movement" which is a incredibly generic catch all term for men and people claiming to seek male improvement, which Tate is, he uses that term, most people that also call themselves "red pilled" accept and love him and I have yet to even see a "association fallacy" even begin to being used to claim he doesn't represent "red pill values", mostly because there's none since it just a "floating symbol".

But hey you are the same dude who believes in that weird narrative of "the term incel was actually made derogatorily by a random zoophililic radfem" made by incel appropriators themselves in a beyond weird attempt to make it seem like they didn't steal the term from a disabled woman who made a support forum for disabled and socially unpalatable men and women and actually everyone everywhere wronged them and that's why they advocate for pedophilia now (this is just as irrelevant to topic like your weird creature of the nights checklist you did so lol and lmao even).

Genuine advice, move on, the MRA movement is the definition of reactionary, the only accomplishment it has to show is a Apollo curse PR documentary, a bunch of pizza parties about how great it is to have xy chromosomes in a average way and a bunch of rent seekers shadow boxing at already retires feminist internet figure heads or waiting for the next ai generated article about why eating avocados and doing yoga is the ultimate feminism activism to drop to dibonky it epic style, I'm afraid if this discussion goes any further you are doing to talk about Anita Sarkesian as if she relevant still, and that's scary, move on genuinely, almost a decade doing this and y'all having nothing but YouTube views to show. Genuinely the only people who bring up MRAs unironically these days are TERFs and radfems claiming they have evolved into trans rights activists, and like they are twice more chronically online than MRAs yet they have more real world accomplishmenta than y'all did at the top of y'all's relevance back then...that's sad babe, real sad.

Not feminist as in "women should be included in the draft" but feminist as in "being drafted is a violation of bodily autonomy for any gender".

The draft should not exist. Drafting people into the military is a violation of human rights. You should not be able to force someone to risk their life. If you can't find enough people who care about a conflict to keep it going then it simply shouldn't keep going. You can't even force someone to donate a kidney using government power, why the fuck can you force them to donate their whole body and life to a cause they don't agree with or don't care about?

[mellowyellow236]

How would the TWST boys act when they’re jealous?

This is Heartslabyul and the Misc Characters section- Links are all here: Savanaclaw/Octovinelle, Scarabia/Pomfiore/Ignihyde, and Diasomnia. All characters are meant to be interpreted as romantic. The reader is gender-neutral. There may be mild spoilers as to who overblots and other facts. Some of them might have Yandere tendencies, though nothing graphic or descriptive and always very mild, they’ll be marked with a ‘Y’ if they do. Mainly because sometimes the boys are calm and talk through their feelings… And sometimes they go down possessive insecurity-included spirals. If anyone has anything to add or any questions, please leave a reblog or comment! Requests are open if anyone wants.

Heartslabyul:  

Riddle Rosehearts - Y (For pre-overblot section only) 

Pre-overblot, Riddle manages to fit a lot of jealousy inside his tiny body. 

Talking with someone he doesn’t like? He’s declaring that it’s off with their head because they broke a rule. Someone else is flirting with you? Oh no, the hedgehogs aren’t in order, he needs you to come help him fix them. Is someone doing anything in your presence that he dislikes? THE RULES STATE THAT ONE MUST NEVER TAKE THE KING AWAY FROM THE QUEEN! 

He’s willing to make up new rules just to keep you there with him. He’s lost so many friends because of his mother, but this is a feeling just for him. You understand, don’t you? You know what he feels and you’re willing to stand by his side? Forever? You’re the only one who can. You need to promise you’ll be his king, you’ll never leave him. 

Post-overblot and he’s much more calm. At least, he’s calm by his standards. He’s still… A bit over the top at times. He wants to make sure that you actually love him, that you’re not going to leave. 

But more than that, he’s worried that he’s too clingy. Are you tired of him focusing on you? Are you thinking secretly that he needs to grow up? Do you think he’s sidetracked, as his mother does? Do you think that he needs to change again? Is he too lax this time, is he boring? Is it a chore to entertain him? Are you planning on leaving? 

Just reassure your poor redhead. He wants to be the best he can be, and he wants to be that with you. He just needs to be told that you really do love him and want to be around him. Maybe give him some kind of signal so he can tell you how he feels without needing to outright say it and listen to his concerns whenever he comes to you. 

Trey Clover - 

Trey wouldn’t get jealous under normal circumstances. He trusts you, assuming he’d like to or is dating you, and that’s that. He’d only get jealous if someone was genuinely hitting on you, and you just… Didn’t notice or care. 

While he prides himself on his ability to keep a cool and level head, the moment he sees you with someone else, watching them touch you on your arm and compliment you the same way he does. No, he compliments you even better! 

“You’re so pretty…” He can call you beautiful, jaw-dropping, stunning, or awe-inspiring! “My dear,” You’re his sweetheart, his life, his heart and head, his darling cookie! “I think we should go somewhere more private…” Okay, maybe he’s too much of a gentleman to tell you that- he believes you should take the relationship st your own time and he’s never said that to you around others where you could be pressured- but he could at least say it with more class! 

Trey’s annoying, maybe even seething. But still, tell the person you’re uninterested and take a step back. Even punch him in the face, if you’re that pissed! Trey would do it if he weren’t vice-housewarden! Just don’t tell Riddle and it’s all good! 

If that doesn’t work, or if you don’t do anything, he’ll easily swoop in to ‘save you’. He’ll hand the guy a treat, wrap his arms around you, and pull you off to the kitchen with him to “help with some baking.” He will even use his unique magic on the guy if he doesn’t get the hint- Well, on the treat he gave them. No one likes gross-tasting foods, especially ones catered to the thing you hate the taste of the most. 

Cater Diamond - 

Outwardly, he’ll come up to you and chat. Who’re you with? Hey, Cay-cay’s got a quick Magicam post to take, could ya come over here real quick? Just take the photo, you don’t have to be in it or anything! Unless you wanted to! 

He’s calm and collected and barely bothered. Why would he be? He’s got nothing to worry about and he knows you like him and that you’d never do anything to cheat or be with anyone else! At all! 

Internally he’s curled into a ball and crying. Is he not good enough? He can be. He promises! He’ll be whatever you need, whatever you have to get! Please, just stay with him! Don’t leave! 

He needs some reassurance. Don’t let him sweep it under the rug, no matter how hard he tries. Please, just tell him it was all a misunderstanding. Thank him for being there with you. Please. 

Cater’s terrified you’ll leave him. Is it slightly unhealthy? Yes. Maybe. Totally. He’s been begging for crumbs of your attention every chance he gets, in his own way. But if you find it in yourself to be charitable… Please, just put up with him? 

Ace Trapolla - 

If nothing else, Ace is a brat, in every sense of the word. He’s a bit rude, obnoxious, and naive to certain social cues. He doesn’t follow rules and he’s not interested in learning them. He’s selfish, too. But especially selfish with your time. 

Ace will try to call you away at any time if you’re with someone else. What do you mean, Jamil needs some help preparing dinner? You’re going to need some help getting out if things go like they did last time! So, you better invite him along, too. He’ll be a great help! Besides, Jamil’s in the basket with him, they’re wonderful friends! There’s no way that you two will get kicked out with Ace here, considering how you’re a major klutz with anything sharp and would get totally sent away without him. 

He’ll come up behind you if you’re talking to someone. Snaking an arm around your midsection, dipping his hands to clutch your hips, and watching the person who was once talking to you. He might be laughing, but he’s also squeezing you and subtly insulting them. Or, he thinks his being subtle, but if you weren’t being held by him, the other guy would have punched him by now. 

His fingers dig into the skin around your hips as he pulls you away from them, the smirk on his face slightly darker than the lighthearted boy you normally know. Once you’re all alone, he stuffs his face into your neck, taking a deep breath. No matter what you tell him, he only savors you for a second, before giving you a little push and telling you to thank him for saving you from such a jerk. 

But if you were to pull him back in and thank him… Maybe he’ll tell you what’s bothering him- If you’re lucky. Maybe. Or you’ll just get an extra long and tight hug. 

Deuce Spade - Y 

Duece is a sweetheart who tries his best not to get jealous. Really, he tries! He’s on track to be an honor student, and honor students can calmly talk about their feelings with the person they like. So, that is what he will do… After he roughs up the perpetrator a bit. 

Just a little! Or a lot… Or just until you stop him, or Riddle’s nearby… Don’t worry, he wouldn’t hit someone just for flirting! They were trying to touch you… They had a hand on your waist, and were pulling you closer… It looked like they were even trying to kiss you! What was Duece supposed to do? Let them? He couldn’t bear it if anyone did anything to you! 

Deuce is protective. You can handle yourself, he knows that! But he used to fight a lot, so he could do it better. Besides, you’re new to this world! You might not even be able to tell when someone’s flirting with you until it’s too late! He has to be there to protect you, or else what could happen? Could you be hurt? Emotionally or physically harmed? He can’t bear to think about it! 

He’ll pull you away, much like Ace, if he can’t control himself most of the time. But the moment you’re touched? He’ll fight whoever does it. Tell him not to and he’ll tone it down, yes, but the glare from a former delinquent is still enough to send most people back with their tails between their legs. Of course, when you’re looking, he’s all smiles and rainbows. He’s your guard dog, don’t worry about it! He’s just making sure no trash gets close to you! 

Besides, you have him, and all of your friends! Like Ace, Deuce, Trey, Cater, and maybe even Riddle! You two share a friend group, isn’t that great? If anyone ever bothers you, he’ll always be there to stop them! No one will take advantage of you while he’s here! 

RSA+NBC: 

Neige Leblanche - 

It all starts when Neige sees you at a shared event. He’s been so excited to see you, but before he gets there, he finds Vil’s there with you. He bites his ruby lips and his hands are shaking as he watches the other man wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close enough to whisper something in your ear. Normally, when you laugh he’s so happy, but now it feels like there’s something yucky about it. 

It takes a while before Neige even knows what he’s feeling. It’s like something is slithering around his insides, pitting at the bottom of his stomach and sometimes threatening to come out his throat. Even when he goes up to talk to you, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

It isn’t until you pull away from Vil to hug you himself that he realizes it’s jealousy. Only once it’s away does he know that your affections were its only cure, and its cause was always when what he so desperately wanted was flung off to be given to someone else. 

He stays very close to you for the rest of the night. He tries to make sure those feelings that he knows but doesn’t yet understand how to tame don’t come back. He gets your number and whatever social media you’re willing to give over, and he’s overjoyed from it. It’s his own little prize, his own little gift from the world now sitting in his pocket. 

He doesn’t get jealous often after that- After all, he knows that you’ll take care of him if he needs it. He can trust you, after all, you’re his one true love. The royal he was always looking for, the person to rescue him like a knight in shining armor, riding in on a snow-white horse. He can trust you, right? 

Rollo Flamme - Y

Rollo gets jealous very, very easily. He’s seething, filled with rage and misplaced care, attempting to tie you down or up or any other way. Trying to tie you to him, no matter how much you kick and scream. 

You know that he needs you, don’t you? Well, he does. Honest to the god he worships, he does. He’d swear on his name faster than yours, if only because his honor means nothing while yours is a pure as mountain snow. He’d write you name into his skin if only you let him, he’d steal every inch of you away and keep it all pure, forever and ever. 

So when he sees you with a mage, he can’t help but get jealous. How could he not? You’re wondrous. Illuminatingly stunning, bursting his heart as fireworks do in the sky, filled with beautiful, burning passion. And he is merely a magic user. He is no more worthy of you than they are, but for them to think otherwise… He will not turn a blind eye to those who desire to do something horrid to his darling.

[miizuzu]

“What the actual fuck???!?” You shout as items close by were picked up and thrown towards the naked man on your bed.

“Wait!!! Calm down!! Let me explain!!!” Satoru shouts back as he nimbly dodge every item you throw at him, moving closer towards you. 

“Oh no you don't, stay back!!!” You tried to back away when you noticed him inching closer. 

His movements were quick, next thing you know he had you pinned on the ground. His hands on each of your wrists, knees spread on the side of your thighs. You looked him in the eye before both your attention traveled down his naked body, his cock hanging loose, almost touching you. You let out a horrified scream and your knees move up unintentionally in a defence position, accidentally kneeing him right in the balls.

He froze for a second before rolling off of you and curling into a ball, clutching his member in pain. You cringed and whispered a soft “sorry” before trying to get up and run, only to be grabbed by the ankle and falling face first on the ground. 

“Pl-please… let me… explain.” Satoru is still curled on the ground, he has a death grip on your ankle. 

Your fall had cost you to nosebleed and you covered your nose and looked back at him, “F-fine. Cover up, I don't want to see your thing again. I'm going to the bathroom.”

He nods and lets go of your ankle. You ran into the bathroom, tried to stop your nose from bleeding but decided you should call into work first. After cleaning up, you got out of the bathroom with tissue plugged in your nose to stop the bleeding. You see Satoru dressed now, sitting and waiting for you on the couch. 

You crossed your arms and leaned by the wall, “So? What do you have to say?” 

He was about to come over to you and he noticed the tissue in your nose. “Nuh uh uh, stay over there.” You insisted. He sat back down with both his fists on his lap. 

“Sorry about your nose…” 

“Are you going to explain or should I just call the police now?”

“Okay, okay! So, have you heard that 1% of our population has the power to transmog into animals? Well, I'm one of them.” 

“How the hell did you end up in the pet store then???”

“You remember me saying my best friend is the shop owner? I… asked him for a favor.”

“So you're saying, both you and that shady shop owner were in on this? He knew about you and didn't tell me?”

“Well if you say it this way it sounds bad doesn't it.” 

You let out a heavy sigh as you ran your hand to push your hair back. It was true that you know about the 1% of the population with that power but you've never known or seen anyone with it, they usually keep themselves hidden, not wanting to become outcasts. 

Now what? You didn't think you would become a cat owner and now you find out your cat is actually a person?? To make matters worse, it's the one guy you couldn't stand. It finally made sense to you, how he would just hang around you when you were getting prepared for showers. You are now hyper aware of how he had seen you naked a few times while in cat form. Your face flushed red and you didn't want to see him anymore.

“Get out, before I actually call the police.” 

Satoru slowly gets up, looks at you with big blue puppy eyes, begging you to not kick him out.

“Now!!” You shouted and he walked out of your home. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, you felt a headache coming and you flopped onto your bed, only to be reminded of what he was doing before you arrived, you quickly kicked the covers off before settling down to think everything through. 

At the pet store, Satoru was whining to his friend. “You actually thought this plan was fool proof. You're such an idiot. How did I even let you talk me into this?” face palming himself so hard his hand could go through his head.

“Suguru, you're supposed to comfort me and help me think of something to help get her to not stay mad at me!” Satoru pouts as he glares at his best friend.

“If I get sued I swear to God I will ignore you for the rest of my life.” 

“You don't mean that…”

“Try me.” 

Satoru biting on his thumb nail, feeling frustrated trying to think of ways to get you to forgive him. 

“How did you get caught anyways?” 

“Umm… I was… playing with Jr in my human form… while sniffing her panties.”

“On second thought, you are disgusting. Get out of my shop.” 

Suguru kicks Satoru out. Satoru was banging at the locked doors begging to re-enter, when he realized he was being ignored, he left to go home. 

Satoru has a home, a couple of humongous penthouses to be exact. No one could have guessed why he pretended to be a house cat. Satoru is rich enough that he could live 9 life times and it would not even make a dent to his bank. His parents never really cared what he does, only his happiness matters to them. Which could explain why he is so spoiled and thinks he owns everything. 

He went back to one of his penthouses nearby, laid on his bed as you occupied his every thought. He had never told anyone about meeting you before, he thought you would have forgotten about it by now as well. 

The 2 of you had actually met long again, while you were about 6 years old. Satoru had not gotten used to the transmogrification yet at that time, his ears and tail would show while he was in human form. He would get laughed at by the other kids and would panic and run off. That's when you found him, hiding and crying in a bush, his tail was wagging, knocking the bush which caught your attention. 

“Whatcha doing here?” Satoru jumped at your question, he wasn't expecting anyone to find him.

“Nothing, go away.”

“Are you crying?”

“Do you not understand? I told you to go away.”

“Why are you crying? Don't cry, let's play together!” 

Satoru was shocked, none of the other kids wanted to be near him when his ears and tail were showing, they all seemed to be afraid of him. He stares at your innocent smiling face as you reach your hand out for him. 

“Aren't you… scared of me?”

“Why should I be? Your ears and tail look so cute, I love cats. I wish I could have one but my parents said no. Why don't you be my friend? You could be my cat in secret!!”

The little you thought it was the best idea ever, as you gently pet his head to calm him down. Satoru snuggle close to you, feeling your warmth and happy that he found someone who sees him as him.

The 2 of you had a secret hideout, away from the other kids. You would ask him to show you his ears and tail, and he learned to control the transmogrification just to make you happy. Sometimes he would transform himself into a cat and let you pet him to your heart's content. Sometimes he would stay in his human form and just hold hands with you as you look at clouds in the sky. 

Satoru thought the days would be like this for the rest of his life, but one day you showed up with tears in your eyes. 

“Mama said we have to move, she said papa doesn't want us anymore.”

“Where are you going to move? When??” 

Satoru doesn't want you to leave. He wants to be with you.

“I don't know where we are going, Toko? I'm not sure, but we are leaving by train tonight. I'm here to say goodbye.”

“No!! Please don't leave!! You're my only friend!! I'll be your cat! Stay!!”

It wasn't something he could decide, you gave him one final hug before leaving. Satoru was feeling down for the longest time, his parents did everything they could to try and cheer him up but nothing would work. He asked his parents where Toko was, and they were just confused. 

Growing up, he made one other friend, Suguru Geto. He told Suguru about his secret but he would never show anyone his cat form, he promised himself that form is only for you. He swore he would find you and become your cat. When he turned 20, he moved to Tokyo with Suguru, still keeping you in mind. 

Suguru worked at an animal shelter and Satoru would go and visit him whenever he got bored. He never would have thought he would run into you again. 

You were rushing into the animal shelter with a kitten in your arms, you found it shivering under a tree and decided to bring it to the shelter. 

Satoru was so happy to see you that he went straight to you and started talking, but for some reason you didn't acknowledge him, almost as if you didn't remember who he was, your attention was focused on the kitten you brought with you. He thought he had the wrong person for a second because of how cold you were towards him. But he quickly realized it was really you just by how you treated the kitten. 

He found your workplace, where you lived. Finding out that you moved out from your mom's place when she got into a new relationship, wanting to give them personal space. The only thing he couldn't figure out was what happened to you, how you've changed from the cheerful and friendly self to someone who didn't like human interactions. 

Suguru wanted to open a pet store and Satoru supported him financially. Picking the location to be between your workplace and your home, hoping one day you would notice him. 

His wish came true when he saw you, on the other side of the display window, playing with the kittens from the other side of the glass. You looked so happy and was your old self again. 

He would just hide in the back and watch you, it took months before he worked up the courage to go to your work. He was too shy to have you serve him, always just peeking at you while you worked as your coworkers prepared his order. 

It took him a long time to convince Suguru to let him pretend to be a cat waiting for adoption, Suguru had a bet with him, thinking it would never work, only for you to come in the store the very same day to take Satoru home. He fell harder for you when you put him first, wrapping your scarf around him to keep him warm, making him meals for him and always petting him.

Now laying in his own bed, he hates himself for messing everything up. He was happy with just being your cat, his greediness has cost him to lose you. His large bed feels cold and empty, already missing your warmth and your gentle pats.

You woke up in your bed, the headache knocked you out for a while. It was already around dinner time. You got out to the kitchen and started preparing your dinner. “What would you like to eat Sa-” suddenly remembers that you've kicked him out already. “Argh.” You grunted to yourself as you prepared dinner for yourself. You missed the company, it's only been a few weeks but you got used to having him around and now the house feels a little too empty and quiet. 

You went to bed and your twin size bed feels so empty, Satoru didn't take up much space but it just feels different. You've gotten used to Satoru snuggling against you as you sleep, it took a while before you were able to finally sleep. 

You felt extra tired at work the next day due to lack of sleep, you were focusing on work when you saw the white haired man enter the shop. The audacity of this guy, you thought. He got in line, he ended up at your register, you kept a smile on your face but he could feel the daggers from your eyes piercing him. He didn't try anything, just placing his regular order. You decide to change his order, putting less sugar and more coffee. When you slid him the drink and watched him take the first sip, watching his face scrunch up put a genuine smile on your face. 

He saw your smile, even if it was just for a split second, he thought that bitter coffee became sweet just because of you. He sat in the corner of the store, still watching you work as you tried your best to avoid eye contact with him. 

The next couple of days rolled by with him showing up at the shop, you intentionally messed up his drink, making it more bitter every time. He would never complain about it, always finishing every last drop even if it felt like he was dying inside. He thought he deserves at least that, with you not kicking him out and all.

You feel like you should stay angry at him, for everything that he's done. But for some reason you couldn't actually stay mad at him, you missed his constant annoying remarks, you especially missed your cat, your home just feels empty these days.

He hasn't shown up today yet and you decided to go take your lunch break. One of your coworkers came running into the break room, “Hey Y/N!!! Your hot boyfriend is looking for you!” 

‘Oh no he didn’t’ you got up ready to give him shit, only to be met with someone who you never expected. You stumbled back and the colors were drained from your face. 

“Hey babe, took me a while to find you. Did you miss me?”

@moonchhu @non-artistic-license @entr4p3 @prtty-pink-angel @nonamevenus @victoria1676 @haithamsbb @jotarohat @birdwithhat @hel1nn @undercooked-chaos-noodle @akiraneedstobefixed

story i left it with another cliffhanger >_< i didnt wanna make it too long so now u all have to suffer... i tagged smut but realized there wasnt much from this chp.. i promise next one will make it up :D

[lascvitae]

if its okay can i request aespa as your gf headcanons please… i literally love your writing soo much

—🎧

♯┆aespa as your girlfriend .ᐟ

synopsis. aespa as your girlfriend headcanons!!

pairing. aespa x fem!reader warnings. kinda suggestive?? genre. fluff!

now playing. every summertime by niki thinkin bout you by katie only by leehi sweet & easy by wonder girls bonnie & clyde by yuqi girl by oceanfromtheblue raise y_our glass by huh yunjin summer in love by saay die for you by the weeknd

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ katty ᥫ᭡: YOOO HI OFCCC 😻😻😻 sorry it’s so late i literally fell asleep earlier LOLZ also another double post i spoil yall sm 😔😔

masterlist.

───𝓚ARINA

☒ would LOVEEEE teasing you, like you wouldn’t ever get a break

☒ “what’d you say about my hairstyle again that one time?” with a large smirk on her face.

☒ wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off of you, expect a lot of skinship

☒ shows you all the songs she has obsessions with

☒ “baby listen to this! it reminds me of us” 🥺

☒ very attentive, knows everything about you and notices everything about you

☒ SOOO cheesy like such a loser for you

☒ listens to you while you yap about your interests

☒ would watch all your favorite shows with you

☒ loves buying you things, no matter the price

☒ “i saw you looking at this when we went shopping so i got it for you!”

☒ her favorite dates with you would be the ones where you’re indoors, cuddling eachother and watching a movie

☒ very protective of you and can get jealous, even tho she won’t show it ☹️☹️ (you can always tell when she pouts)

☒ your pain is definitely her pain

☒ “hey, hey, hey. who said that? who said you aren’t good enough? you’re perfect, angel. and if not to the rest of the world then to most. me, all of aespa, your friends. we see how beautiful you are.”

☒ leaves cute little messages for you after that, her baby has to see how much she means to her

☒ loves to kiss your forehead, stems from her being so caring

☒ appreciates you so much && shows it in ANY way she possibly can

─── 𝓖ISELLE

☒ loves taking pictures of you. i just know it. YOUR BIGGEST SIMP

☒ “why are you laughing aeri??” “oh, nothing. i was just looking at this picture i took of you the other day.”

☒ your biggest fan, like she cheers for every single accomplishment you get

☒ looks at you with hearts in her eyes whenever you speak

☒ LOVES to bicker with you playfully, she’d be such a fun and silly gf

☒ “can we go get crumbl??” “i guess… only because i want cookies though” 🙄

☒ shows you off in any way she possibly can, has a whole folder for you

☒ “oh her? nah, she ain’t a model. she’s my girlfriend.” so cheesy

☒ all her captions would be love songs, girl’s in deep

☒ expect random compliments and ‘i love yous’

☒ absolutely LOVES when you wear her clothes, probably buys them only thinking you would wear them

☒ loves going on late night drives with you & listening music

☒ loves to makeout with you in the car

☒ her favorite dates with you would be at the arcade or amusement park, mostly bc she loves the little games you guys play, even if they’re dumb af

☒ “i bet i can beat you in mario kart!” “you wish!”

☒ “i can eat my ice cream faster than you.” “as if.”

☒ puts you first always, there’s nothing more important to her

☒ loves kissing your hand because she noticed it calms you down and it’s also something quick (since she loves kissing you sm)

───𝓦INTER

☒ puppy gf puppy gf PUPPY GF

☒ did i mention shes a puppy gf?

☒ look… ima try my hardest not to be biased bc i love me some minjeong 🫦🫦

☒ clingy af

☒ extremely giggly around you, thinks you’re the funniest person on earth

☒ has on her rose tinted glasses on around you ALWAYS

☒ like in her head yall are two cats in love with eachother

☒ the shy girlfriend that always wants your attention && is secretly weird af

☒ loves when you play with her hair, especially after a long day of practice

☒ LOVES sleeping/laying in bed with you

☒ just loves doing anything with you actually

☒ can sit with you in silence and mumble ‘i love you’ after every few minutes

☒ “mm… five more minutes?”

☒ loves to go on shopping sprees with you but her favorite dates would be the ones where you guys go stargazing or sightseeing

☒ imagine you and minjeong sitting at the picnic blanket, pointing at all the different stars and comparing them to each other

☒ “this is nothing compared to your eyes.” “you’re so cheesy, y/n!” she loves it

☒ always asking you what hair color she should get next, she just values your opinion sm

☒ loves hanging out with you

☒ she loves teaching you things

☒ loves kissing your lips bc it’s the sweetest form of affection to her

☒ you’re one of her biggest motivators, like she loves bringing you to the studio and to photoshoots

☒ “i’ll just only be a few minutes late on stage… i wanna stay in bed with you a little longer.” you can never say no to her

───𝓝INGNING

☒ so down bad for you

☒ everyone will point out how happy shes been lately and she’ll just laugh and go “yeah, i started talking to y/n” with the most obvious blush ever

☒ loves talking to you… your voice is her favorite song

☒ could spend everyday on the phone with you fr

☒ loves singing to you, would always be serenading you

☒ makes you playlists 24/7 and sings the songs when you listen to them together

☒ loves making vlogs & videos with you

☒ “hey guys! me and the wife just got chipotle and she found an ant in her food!! it’s real y’all…” “oh my god ning—“ and the video ends there

☒ takes pictures of you when she thinks you aren’t looking then laughs it off once she gets caught

☒ her favorite dates would be the ones where yall go out to eat (and always get a noise complaint)

☒ she would just love going out with you period, no matter where

☒ “y/n look at this” as she pulls the bangs back on the wednesday doll…

☒ loves the giddy feeling she gets when you cheer her on, makes her want to work harder

☒ loves to post subtle things about you, she loves the idea of being in love with you

☒ lets you hear all of the aespa demo songs and see all their albums before they come out (even sneaks you one)

☒ loves holding your hand, like she will drag you along when shes excited

☒ still finds it so crazy that yall are together… she just loves you so bad fr

☒ loves it when you kiss her cheeks and loves kissing your nose

☒ matching fits

☒ “can i post this on instagram? i want everyone to see how pretty we look together.”

permanent taglist — @saysirhc

[ponyojujuu]

Hiii ☺️🤭I'm here to kindly ask for some quality content

So if you could share who do you think is mtl likely to get turned on the first time they see their partner in their clothes?? ( Legal line ofc)

If you're up for it I would love it for both enha and &team.thank you🥰

hii! this seems so fun!

not a drabble more of a list with thoughts lol, lmk if you want drabbles of their reactions in my request box! &team will be in part 2!

most to least likely to get turned on seeing reader in their clothes (enhypen pt. 1)

not smut, but not fluff

slightly suggestive mdni

you have been warned

enhypen

ni-ki! he would love this omg. i can imagine him giving you some of his clothes actually just to see you wear them. he’d love seeing his giant hoodies engulf your body, even if you just napping in them or being comfortable around the house. if he comes home from work and sees you in his clothes he’ll probably instantly feel a bit turned on, or even after you guys have sex and he sees you in his clothes he’s gonna wanna do it all over again.

jake! jake seems like the type to beg you to wear his clothes. you’d just be minding your business, maybe sitting on the couch/bed or just getting out of the shower and jake would be biting his bottom lip. “baby can you wear my shirt? please” sometimes your even avoid wearing it just because you know turned on he can get. if you can’t find some pajamas/clothes of your own you wanted to wear he would offer again for you to wear his. not only this but he would love the scent you leave on all his hoodies, shirts etc. he’d be obsessed with it, and loving to wear it again when he goes to work or anyplace without you carrying your sweet scent.

heeseung! heeseung seems like the type of bf to seriously love and be obsessed with anything you do as long as you’re doing it. including you wearing his clothes. it wouldn’t be just about the sexual, similar to jake he’d love the scent you’d leave behind on his clothes, and would probably hesitate to wash them once you give it back. he’d probably also love you in it more than himself and end up giving you a lot of his clothes. but getting turned on would definitely happen with him. like i said, heeseung loves everything you do in both ways, if you surprise him wearing one of his long button downs first thing out of the shower he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you (i mean when does he ever). you’d probably apologize for taking it short notice but he’d end up thanking you for wearing it because he finds it so hot.

jay! i think jay would like this, but moreso in the sense where he likes to dress you up in his clothes so you guys are matching. he seems like he’d be into corny stuff like that lolz. he’ll specifically pick certain clothes from his wardrobe that he wants to see you in, and his little fashionista heart will explode seeing you in it. I don’t think he’ll be a huge turn on for him, but something more wholesome he enjoys. but if you steal an oversized shirt or hoodie to sleep in he might be picky as to which you’re allowed to use since he has his favorite clothing. also jay and his short temper.

jungwon! jungwon wouldn’t be upset about you taking his clothes. but he would definitely tease you about it, like all the time in front of family friends who ever. “y/n has so much clothes but still wants to wear my favorite hoodie!” it would be cute. but he actually really loves when you wear his clothes. i think jungwon would have a decent self control so he wouldn’t always get turned on when you wear his clothes. especially his favorite items, then he might get just a bit upset with you. but sometimes when your wearing his clothes it might be a little to hard to keep control. i think he’d be very subtle about bringing it up because he knows you’ll tease him right back. “i thought you hated when i wore your clothes?” which was a really a lie, it was a way to stop himself from getting horny when he saw you.

sunoo! sunoo kinda seems like he wouldn’t typically enjoy you snooping around his closet at first. so when he sees you wearing his clothes he might be a bit picky about it at first. but once he is used to it he’d probably really adore you in them. but i don’t think he’d get to turned on by the idea unless your just wearing a plain white tee that’s see through. but in most case scenarios it would be more of a fluff thing for him. cuddling you and snuggling you in his clothes, sometimes teasing you for stealing all his clothes like jungwon.

sunghoon! sunghoon seems like he’s not huge on sharing things with you, especially since he seems to adore his high end fashion. but if you ask nicely though i can see him lending you a few clothes that he’d let you wear. but he’d probably be a bit moody if you went through his clothes without his permission. i don’t see him getting that turned on that easily by this though, unless he was already in the mood, or you were purposely trying to seduce him. but of course since your his girlfriend he’d give into the temptation of you eventually.

[wileys-russo]

Hello! Can I request a fic or something for Fresa and Sol’s universe? Like Sol discovers that fresa used to get treats like a dog and wants to try it out of fun without telling fresa, would she do it in front of her sisters? Will fresa actually do whatever Sol says? How will she react?

super happy for people to request sol and fresa fics from me or @girlgenius1111 hehe BUT i fear Fresa is far too smart not to work out what sol was doing and i can't really put that into a full fic, so headcannons!

It all starts off when Alba brings it up at a family dinner to embarass Fresa in front of Sol, and of course Alexia joins in as Fresa is ready to stab both of them while they go back and forth trading embarassing baby Fresa stories

Ends with Fresa being carried away from the table by Sol when she tries to put a fork into Alba's leg when she threatens to get the baby photo albums out (Eli has already shown Sol these in depth while she was waiting for Fresa to get home from work one afternoon)

Mapi asks Alexia at training how did dinner went the night before, Alexia fills her in and Mapi goes home and makes a bet with Sol she can't get Fresa to do it again as a teenager without noticing

Sol (being uber competitive) agrees right away, Ingrid warns its a terrible idea, neither Mapi or Sol listen to her.

The next day Sol picks Fresa up from work and they get food on the way home, they arrive back to the Leon-Engen residence and Sol starts her (poorly thought out) plan

She first asks Fresa to hang her keys up for her, she gets a fry for that. She then asks if Fres can get her a hoodie, she gets another fry for that. She then asks if Fresa can get her the TV remote, she gets a fry for that.

Sol thinks the plan is going GREAT and her girlfriend has no idea (wrong) and stupidly texts Mapi to bring home the money for her since she's won the bet.

Sol then goes rogue and (knowing Fresa loves a tidy space and is always on Sol for how messy her room is) says Fresa can't have her burger until she cleans Sols room for her.

Fresa right away is raising an eyebrow and doing a wonderfully stern alexia impression with "pardon?" and suddenly Sol is SCRAMBLING to tidy her own room, telling Fresa to sit down, saying she can have BOTH of their burgers. Damage control.

Later on Fresa asks if Sol will paint her nails for her, she gets a kiss everytime she finishes a nail.

Then at dinner Fresa is asking "sol can i please have the salt and pepper?" "Sol can I please have a napkin?" "Sol can I please have your last potato?" and of course her dopey simp of a girlfriend does it all right away and gets a kiss on the cheek

Mapi catches on right away and finds it hilarious that Sol somehow still doesn't realise Fresa has flipped the tables on her, especially when Sol asks Fresa to get her a drink and shes raising an eyebrow and Sol is RUNNING to the kitchen instead

Bet? lost.

However the moment Ingrid asks for something for Mapi to get? Fresa is quick to do it first because she's quite terrified of her girlfriends sister despite the fact Ingrid has never said a bad work about or to her (Frido gave Fresa the shovel talk)

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.7 K Warnings: none Prompt: It's time for a sweet –and maybe a little spicy– picnic. Proofread by sweet @girlwihkaleidoscopeeyes

Chapter 72: Relentless 

“What…” Remus said as he blinked a couple of times, trying to get his mind around what he was looking at: he’d just left you in your room and now you were in his! Right next to Sirius – well, technically, right on Sirius. Both of you looking as appealing as the food surrounding you. 

He turned to you, pointing his index finger your way. “You were distracting me!”

“Well…” 

“Surprise date!” Sirius said as he gently lifted you, placing you on the side to walk towards Remus. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the boy’s cheek, in the exact way he’d done with you so many times in the past. You smiled at the sweet scene. “We planned this together, we wanted to do something special for you.” 

Remus smiled. By now you were also standing up and you leaned your head on his shoulder as you admired the wonderful picnic Sirius had prepared. Everything was strategically placed over the blanket (which would have been perfectly straight if it weren't for you and Sirius crumpling it earlier with your playful wrestling). You extended your hand, using some wandless magic to softly straighten up the sheet before leaning your head on Remus’ shoulder again. “Sirius did most of it,” you added. “I was tasked with the distraction this time around.” 

“Did Nieve even need the extract?” He asked, and then you heard him suck in some air and turn to you, a little more alarmed. “You extinguished the firestone, right?” 

“Yes and yes,” you retorted with a confident nod. “It might not be as urgent as I made it seem but she does need the extra meds. And I extinguished the firestone right before leaving the room.” He was about to say something but you interrupted. “Yes, I placed it on the tin, and  made sure the warning colours appeared on the side before placing it on the desk.” Remus smiled and shook his head;, it was somewhat entertaining that you knew exactly what he would ask before he did. 

There was a rather hollow noise coming from the window, and Sirius quickly disengaged himself from the tangle you’d been on before walking over to it. “What’s that?” you asked as you noticed the brown paper bag that Tom’s owl delivered. Remus, who was kind of familiar with those brown paper bags, just smiled, already imagining which type of alcohol Sirius must have gotten his hands on this time. 

“Our celebration drink,” he said as he walked to the picnic blanket and sat with the bag ibn his hands. He then pulled the bottles of wine from it, three too many for the ones that would actually fit. 

Tom must have charmed it, you thought as both you and Remus sat on the floor. 

“Wine?” Remus asked as he raised one of his eyebrows. 

“Sparkling wine,” you corrected as you picked one of the bottles from the floor and stared at the label. “And from Tarascon – the famous dragon breeding town.” 

“Shit, that’s fancy,” Remus said as he looked at the label., Sirius seemed pretty proud of himself, even if the choice had probably been Tom’s. 

“Only the best for my lovers,” Sirius said with a jokingly condescending tone, emphasising the last words and getting an eye roll from Remus, who still wasn���t too keen on the term. 

You laughed, and plopped down on the blanket again, “May I have a grape now, please?” 

“Yes, you may, Étoile.” 

“Merci,” you smiled, taking a grape and popping it in your mouth, biting and spilling its juice all over your tongue with a happy sigh. “He wouldn’t let me have any of them until you arrived.” 

“You were about to mess up my perfectly balanced picnic,” Sirius retorted.

“One grape wouldn’t have made a difference!” 

“Would too!” 

“Do you two get more childish when I’m around or is it always like this?” Remus teased, having the both of you turn his way with a shocked expression that was, at least for him, amusing. 

“Oh, take that back!” You said. 

“We’re not childish!”

“You are a little,” Remus shrugged, with that same teasing smile. 

“Someone childish, wouldn’t have gotten you nice sparkling wine,” Sirius said as he pulled the wine and started twisting the wire of the muselet covering the cork. 

“They wouldn’t?” Remus smiled, a playful lick of his lips accompanied by a slight tilt of the head. He wasn’t just amused, he was having the time of his life. 

“And they wouldn’t have been so effective distracting you, either,” you mused. 

Once the muselet was out of the way, Sirius shook the bottle, then he looked at Remus, winked, and proceeded to press the cork upwards at an angle to release it. 

“I know a spell for–” you started and  were not-so-gently interrupted by  the cork flying out of the bottle and hitting you right in the brow. 

“Shit, you okay?” Sirius asked as he placed the bottle on the ground, his hands wet with the bubbles that had flown from it. 

“Yeah,” you said as you picked the cork from your skirt and examined it. It was iridescent, shifting between navy and forest green, a nod to the scales from the Tarascan Dragons. 

“You sure?” Remus asked as he leaned a little closer, sliding his hand to the back of your neck and gently pulling your head towards him;, you could have turned into a puddle right there and then. “It’s kind of red.” 

“Yeah, it was nothing,” you said honestly. You were more startled than anything, it had been way too close to your eye. 

“Could have gotten in your eye.”

“They’re charmed against that,” Sirius said, smiling at the doting way in which Remus had veered closer to you and pulling the mugs they normally used for tea. He tried to convince the elves to give him wine glasses, but he hadn’t been successful and he didn’t want to take them behind their backs either, especially because of how willing they had been to help with this picnic. “Tough luck, Starshine. Out of all the places it could have fallen, it chose your face.” 

You shrugged, “I guess the universe has to set the balance somehow; after all, I got the hottest boys in the entire school all to myself.” 

Remus’eyes widened slightly, there was a hint of a smug smile on his lips as he finally pulled his hand from your neck. You responded with a wink before leaning in to grab one of the mugs Sirius had already filled. It belonged to James and had “#1 Captain ” written on it, next to the image of a golden snitch that always flew to a different side of the mug when you spotted it. You suspected Peter had gotten it custom-made for him, but he claimed he’d found it at a second-hand shop somewhere in Diagon Alley.

“Well, it’s the truth, we are the hottest,” Sirius said rather smugly and took his mug, a gift from his cousin Andromeda. It had Freddie Mercury singing in bright yellow overalls, but the picture did not move since it was muggle-made. Moony grabbed his mug as well, a Gryffindor mug he’d gotten when he was made into a prefect. “Let’s toast to that,” Sirius said with a smile. 

“To me having bad luck in retaliation for dating the two of you?” you teased. 

“Not that,” he said as he shook his head. “To us!” 

“To us?” Remus raised an eyebrow. 

“To us,” you confirmed as you extended your mug. “And to more picnics together.” 

“And more kisses,” Sirius said with a cheeky smile.

 Remus smiled – he was definitely on board with the last one. “To endless moments like this.” 

You exchanged a fond look with Sirius, “To endless moments like this!” both of you said as you clinked your mugs, some of the wine spilling down your hands from how overfilled they were. You smiled and brought yours to your lips, taking a short sip and enjoying the feeling of the sparkling bubbles in your mouth. Magical wine was always more fun than muggle; the bubbles were better somehow. 

“Here, try these,” Sirius said, mug still close to his lips, as he waved his wand and a plate with sweets floated towards the centre. 

Both you and Remus reached towards it. “Sorry,” he said as your hands bumped into each other, you had both tried to grab the same mince pie. “You take it.” 

“No, don’t worry,” you said, also pulling your hand from it. 

“Just share it,” Sirius said with a laugh, finding the interaction both endearing and slightly ridiculous. You had shared food many times before dating. Why were you acting so shy now?

You looked at him and smiled, taking the pie in your hands, giving it a bite, and then extending it towards Remus. He exchanged a short look with Sirius, almost like a question, and Sirius’ confident smile was more than an answer. It pretty much said, “Go ahead.” 

And he did, leaning in and taking a bite himself. “It’s good,” he nodded, picking a small piece of the crust from the corner of his mouth. 

“Really good,” you agreed as you moved your weight to your knees and leaned a little closer to Sirius, offering him some as well. He smiled and leaned in to take a bite as well, pressing a short kiss to your finger right after. He nodded and hummed in approval. 

You went back into a sitting position, completely missing the wandering look from Remus as your skirt rode up a little. But Sirius, ever so attentive, did not. His lips tightened into a small smirk, wondering just how much of that Remus would be able to stand before caving in. How much of it could he stand before caving in? He already found you delightful in the uniform skirt; this one, a little shorter, a little more flowy… what an absolute treat. 

“Eyes on her face, Moons,” he said with a teasing smirk. 

“Huh?” You asked as you turned to him, missing the stern look Remus gave him in return. 

“Remus here was just–” Sirius’ mouth was shut by a cupcake flying into his face. As much as you cared for whatever he had to say, Remus casually unwrapping a sandwich from the side was too funny not to laugh at, especially since you knew it had been him. “Oi!” 

“What?” Moony asked nonchalantly.

“Arse,” Sirius said as he pulled the cupcake off his face and started wiping the icing with his bare hands. You picked a cloth napkin from the table and handed it over to him. But as you leaned closer he smiled. “Mind giving me a hand, Starshine?” He asked as he tilted his head towards you and closed his eyes. 

You knew Sirius didn’t need help whatsoever, but he looked way too adorable to be denied, so you took the napkin and started cleaning off the leftover icing from his face. “You’re still kind of sticky.” 

“Why don't you lick it off then?” he smirked. 

“Gross!” you responded with a grimace, turning to grab a glass and using Aguamenti to fill it up with some water to dip the clean part of the napkin inside of it. While you were distracted, Sirius turned to look at Moony with a self-satisfied smile and teasing eyebrows. 

“Should I tell her?” he mouthed. 

Remus glared at him and pointed at the cupcakes. “Go ahead and try,” he mouthed back. 

Sirius smiled again and closed his eyes as you came back with the napkin, cleaning off the sticky residue of cupcakes from his face with gentle hands. Sirius was sure those same hands would drive Remus insane, and felt a need to see it happen. 

But he also wanted the picnic to be enjoyed first, so he resorted to continuing teasing Remus without you finding out about it, at least for a bit longer. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what sounds would leave his boyfriend's mouth as you touched him, or as he touched him. 

“Done,” you said as you pulled back, your skirt yet again flowing teasingly around your thighs, this time around perhaps with slight help from Sirius, who did some wandless magic to bring a slight breeze in. “Getting kind of chilly, isn’t it?” 

Remus threw a look at Sirius. “Yeah, definitely,” he agreed with a smile. Now you weren’t oblivious enough not to realise the two of them had something going on, but you hadn’t quite cracked what it was, especially since you would never have expected your skirt to rouse such a response with the boys. 

“What are these?” you asked as you picked up a tea sandwich with greenish insides. 

“Veggies and cream cheese,” he responded. “I think there are some with cucumber, some with ham and brie, and some with cranberries and chicken.” 

“No egg sandwiches?” Remus asked. 

“Maybe three or four, but I left them in the basket,” Sirius said as he pointed at it. “I know they’re not your favourite.” You smiled, Sirius, who was either always talking to somebody at meal times or joking around with the boys – especially James – had always been good at paying attention, and not only did he know Remus didn’t love egg sandwiches, but he had specifically asked for more of the others instead. 

“Right,” Remus said, the corner of his lip tilting upwards ever so slightly. 

“There’s also some peanut butter, jam, chocolate spread, and scones.” 

“Scones?” you asked, leaning a little closer to examine the spread. 

“Over there,” he pointed at a plate covered by a white napkin. “Blueberry.” 

You smiled, leaving the sandwich on your plate and getting on your knees again to get the plate. You could have probably floated the plate towards you, but the jams and fruits were also on that side of the blanket and you decided to just reach for it. After all, it wasn’t nearly that far. 

You found an empty spot in the middle of the blanket and placed one of your hands to hold yourself in place while the other one reached for the plate. Sirius couldn’t help but smirk at the nervous look Remus threw your way, averting his gaze from you and your compromising – not really – position, and turning towards his sandwich as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. 

Sirius leaned his head to the side as he shamelessly stared, “Nice skirt, Starshine.” 

“Thanks,” you said innocently, as you placed some of the fruits and jams onto the plate with the scones. “Got it in muggle London, Tom and Beth said I had to get it.” 

Sirius let out an amused scoff. Aapparently, Tom had been acting as cupid for way longer than he even knew. “As they should have, it looks absolutely ravishing on you,” he smirked, “Doesn’t it, Moony?” 

Remus pulled his gaze from the plate to look at Sirius warningly, but of course, you were right in between the two of them, there was no way he would have avoided looking at your bare thighs or his jumper riding up on your torso just enough to show a bit of skin. His gaze lingered for a second before throwing a heated look at Sirius, whose eyes seemed to be sparkling as he smirked. 

“You look lovely, Little Witch,” he finally agreed, turning back to look at his sandwich. 

You turned to him with a smile, just now noticing how focused he seemed on his sandwich. You frowned and turned to Sirius, questioningly. 

“It’s, uh… short,” he mouthed, nodding at the skirt. You tilted your head to the side just slightly, as if you didn’t quite get it. “I think Moony likes it a little too much.” You hid the gasp you made by moving back into your spot with the plate in your hands. “I do as well.” 

You tried not to blush at the fact that the two of them had been checking you out without you noticing. Was that what Beth and Tom had been going on about when you tried it on? 

“You do what?” Remus asked as he turned to Sirius. 

“I like blueberry scones.” He smiled innocently towards Moony. “You want one too?” he asked as he pulled one from the plate you still had in your hands. “I could prepare it for you.” 

“No, thank you.” 

“You sure, Rem?” you asked as you turned to him, pulling down on the jumper. “I could make them the way you like. I think Sirius said there's cream cheese.” 

“I did,” he confirmed, pulling out a small crystal container from the basket and handing it over to you. 

Remus looked in between the two of you, narrowing his eyes. Did Sirius tell her? he wondered. “Okay,” he responded while looking at you. You smiled; the same smile that drove him insane for months, making his craving for you grow and grow. It was nice to see it adorning your lips again, it was nice to be one of the reasons it was there in the first place. 

You took one of the scones and started to prepare it: cream cheese, clotted cream and then some of the chocolate spread Sirius had brought over – a secret recipe from the kitchen elves, almost as delicious as Hope’s. 

Once you were done, you handed it over to him. Sirius was already eating his – cream and strawberry jam, with fresh berries sprinkled in between – a classic, but his favourite nonetheless. You took yours and filled it with your favourite fillings before taking your first bite. Somehow you couldn’t stop thinking about the skirt thing. Was it really that big of a deal for the two of them? Could you tease them about it? Did you want to tease them about it? 

You thought it over for one or two bites, attentively looking at the two of them, Sirius with his long dark lashes falling over his cheeks as he focused on preparing himself another scone and Remus still enjoying the first one, with his broad shoulders and impossibly gentle hands. You wondered how it was possible for someone so big to be that tender. For a wolf to also be a lamb – it was fascinating. The duality of Remus Lupin was something that had always caught your attention. The secrets hiding behind his skin had been one of the biggest mysteries since you arrived at Hogwarts. You wondered what other secrets it hid. 

How soft or tough it was… how warm… how would it feel under your fingertips… how would it feel on your lips… what sounds would you hear as you kissed it… would it be sensitive enough to get hickeys with ease, or was it thick and resilient like him... Would said bruises last, or would they heal overnight due to his overly fast metabolism... would he enjoy getting them, be it by your lips or Sirius’... You knew for a fact Sirius enjoyed leaving marks all over you, would Remus like that as well? Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him? Was the need as constant for him as it was for you? 

You took another bite of your scone. Yes, you thought, I definitely want to tease them about it. 

“I’m glad we stayed here, by the way,” you said. “Not that Hogsmeade wouldn’t be fun, we haven’t gone together since we started dating but, I guess the fact that this is a little more intimate is better for our first date.” 

“Mhm?” Sirius asked as he looked at you. It seemed like you might have been up to something. 

“I mean, we don’t have to be careful about anything here, I can shamelessly stare at Remus’ beautiful face without worrying that someone might notice how bad I’ve got it for him.” 

“Right,” Sirius said with a smile. “And Remus can stare at your short little skirt all he wants without making people think he wants to fuck his best friend’s girlfriend.” 

Remus almost spat his drink after Sirius spoke, coughing as he reached for a napkin and throwing a murderous look at Sirius, who was still smiling, delighted at his reaction. 

“You okay, Rem?” you asked as you leaned a little closer to him. 

“Yeah,” he said with a short nod and then turned to look at the other boy – ridiculously handsome even when being a prat – “And Pads can ogle either of us all he wants without seeming like a pervert.”

“I'm too handsome to be seen as a pervert,” Sirius said with a wave of his hair, which got the two of you to laugh. 

“There is no such a thing as too handsome to be seen as a pervert!” Remus retorted.

“There is too!” Sirius insisted. “Think of one of those romance novels Vixen reads in her book club. Wasn’t there one where the pirates kidnapped the reader who was a cartographer and then started teaching her how to be a pirate?” 

“Point of Know Return?” you asked. 

“Mhm, that one!” Sirius said with a nod. “Didn’t you say that in one scene she accidentally got all wet because of the waves, and that she had been wearing a white pirate shirt, and that the male lead just stared at her for a hot minute before helping? AND THEN he helped her change because the ties were tangled?” 

“Uhh…” you said as you tried to think of that scene, you had almost forgotten about it entirely, and you wondered how on earth he remembered it. “Wait, hold up. Did you read it?” you asked as you turned to him with a frown. 

“Not the point,” Sirius said dismissively. “Anyway, I swear it was the single most pervy thing ever! But Mr. Pirate got a pass because he was handsome.” 

“You definitely read it!” you said with a gasp. “Why?” 

“Well, you seemed pretty into it,” he shrugged. “And also you mentioned it was kind of spicy, I was curious as to what spicy is for you.” 

You shook your head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it.” 

“You never said who picked that one,” Sirius teased. 

“And I will never say it either. What happens in the book club stays in the book club.” 

Sirius laughed, “I mean it wasn’t a bad scene. We could probably reenact some of the things that– HEY!” Another cupcake flew to his face, this time you were to blame for it. 

“Godric, please, never let him read any spicy books ever again!” you said dramatically. “He’ll get ideas.” 

“But they’ll be fun ideas,” Sirius teased as he took the cupcake in his hands and licked some of the icing from the side of his lip. “Either way, my point was made. I’m too handsome for being a perv.” 

“Sirius do you think–” 

“Tell me I don’t have a ‘romance novel leading man’s face, go on,” he challenged both you and Remus. 

You just rolled your eyes. Both of the boys were leading man material in your opinion, but you weren’t sure either needed the ego bust. Well, perhaps Remus could do with some. “I mean, I have imagined Remus on a spicy book cover… you know, with his Halloween costume and all? But I never did picture you in one.” 

“I'll have you know my Halloween costume was well worth its own romance novel cover, Sweets. Just think about it: My Handsome Devil…” 

“More like: My cupcake-faced devil,” you said as you took some of the icing he’d missed from his cheek with your finger and plopped it into your mouth.

“See?” Sirius said as he smiled at you. “Now you’re even naming the novel I’d be in. Point made.” 

“Whatever you say, Puppy,” you said with an amused shake of your head. It seemed everyone was more at ease now, even if the earlier implications had almost taken the conversation in a different direction, a direction that perhaps you wouldn’t put past exploring, just not yet. “We should listen to some music,” you said as you stood up, walking towards the chest drawer with their stash – and the record player. 

“Need any help?” Sirius asked, leaning his head back for a second to watch you.

“Nah, I’ve got it,” you said as you used your wand to move the heavy piece of furniture and look through the hole in the wall. It was exactly as you remembered, filled with a bunch of miscellaneous things. You rummaged through it until you found the cassette player in one of the furthest crannies. 

You were pulling it out when Remus, out of nowhere, appeared behind you. 

“Let me do it for you,” he offered. Now, that could have been a very natural thing for Remus to do, except that there was a hint of nervousness in his voice that made your curiosity peak. 

“It’s fine, I can do it by myself,” you said simply, trying to gauge his next reaction. 

“I know, I’d like to help though,” he countered, rather insistent. You narrowed your eyes at him. By then, you already had your hands on the cassette player, and he was gently pushing you to the side to take it himself. 

“What are you hiding?” you asked as you raised your eyebrows.

“Nothing,” he said, a little too fast, which got you to hum and smile. 

“Okay,” you said as you removed your hands from the cassette player and looked at him attentively, he cleared his throat, took it in his hands, and stood, motioning for you to come along, but you knew there was something he was hiding. You looked back at the stash and cast a silent Revelio with your wand. A strip of rubbers dropped from the side. Remus looked mortified as you took them in your hands. “So this is what you meant with Away from prying hands?” you asked teasingly. 

“What’s away from prying hands?” Sirius asked, curious as to why you were taking so long. 

Remus looked even more mortified now that Sirius joined in, you tried to place them back in their place but Sirius was faster, “What are these?” he asked as he read the logos on the packaging. Something along the lines of: “Savage Night”

You exchanged a look with Remus, Sirius hadn’t had as much contact with the muggle world as the both of you, and the wizarding world used potions as prevention most of the time, could he possibly not know what they were?

“Erm… Special balloons,” you said with a shrug. 

“How are they special?” Sirius asked as he turned the strip around and started reading some of the text in the back. 

“Well, if we told you, we’d have to kill you,” you retorted, trying to sound as lackadaisical as possible. He looked up from reading with a frown.

“It says: best lube included, ensuring your fit since 1953,” he gave the two of you a look, Remus covered his face with both of his hands and you burst out into a laugh. 

“You’re kidding!” you said as you pulled them from his hands and read through the label. “Shit, it really does say that! Remus!” 

“Please stop,” he mumbled as he shook his head, the embarrassment already painting the tip of his ears a deep crimson. 

“But where does anybody have to fit? Are these magical? Can you get inside them?” 

You laughed at his question again. In theory, he could. “Extremely muggle,” you said, handing them over to him. Sirius got slightly impatient since he felt he was being left out of the joke and just stared at you. He had that small wrinkle in the middle of his eyebrows, the sulking line, as James called it, but you still couldn’t stop your laughs.

You took them from his hands, dangling them in the air as you showed them to him as a teacher would. “So, these are like–” you laughed again, trying to gather your wits to explain why the whole thing was so hilarious – “like the potion, but a… muggle version.” 

“Are these… preservatives?” Sirius asked as he looked at them with a confused frown. “But how exactly do these–” 

“You put them on,” you responded almost too fast, and then a slightly impish smile stretched through your lips. “I guess Remus could teach you one day,” you teased, giving a side glance at Remus who still hid his face in between his hands. Upon his lack of reaction, you almost felt bad about the way you had taunted him, so you left the strip to Sirius who seemed curious and slightly confused and walked towards Rem, who stood just a few steps from the two of you.

“Hey,” you said softly, placing a hand on one of his shoulders. “Sorry for teasing, I didn’t mean to–” You were stopped mid-sentence, as he grabbed your waist and pulled you roughly into a hug. Remus and Sirius exchanged a short look, Sirius nodded in response to the other boy’s silent question, and you were pulled from the floor and tackled towards Remus' bed. You yelped in surprise at Remus, who now had a hard time not laughing. Clearly, you had mistaken his intentions. 

“How about I give you a better reason to laugh?” he said with a smile; it took you a second to register what he meant, and by the time you tried to scramble yourself off the bed, he was already tickling you mercilessly. 

“Sides of the ribs,” Sirius said. “That’s her most ticklish spot.” 

“Sirius!” you managed to protest in between laughs. 

“Je suis désolé, Étoile. Can’t help you with this one.” 

You huffed, squirming as you tried to stop Remus from tickling you, and resorting to just tickling him back, but you didn’t know his weak spots yet.  As you laughed, you moved your hands all over the side of his ribs, trying to find a place that made him laugh as hard as you were laughing. 

“I’m just not that ticklish,” Remus said with a teasing smile. You laughed involuntarily as he pressed the pads of his fingers ever so gently on the side of your belly. Your jumper and shirt had ridden up again, only slightly, and he was now touching your skin directly. But, in between the laughs, neither realised the compromising position you had both ended up in at this point. One of his knees right in between your thighs, one hand beside your head holding him up as he continued to tickle you, and your hands running through his chest as you laughed, still trying to find a ticklish spot. 

Perhaps his neck? 

Although unnoticed by either of you, it had not slipped by Sirius, who was attentively watching the situation as he sipped on his sparkling wine and bit on a fresh strawberry, the juice spilling from the fruit and wetting his already lascivious lips. He almost felt like the devil, watching Adam and Eve in paradise, innocent, pure, uncorrupted. What he saw wasn’t the same as either of you saw, and as he wiped the juice that had unwittingly slipped toward his chin, his mouth quirked into a smirk. Yes, his Halloween costume couldn’t have been more accurate. 

As Sirius stared at the two of you with a gaze almost too lustful for the coy scene he was watching, you reached up to touch Remus’ neck – which finally seemed to get a reaction from the boy. He shied away from your hand, his head instinctively bending to the side and his shoulder rolling upwards as he tried to inch himself away from it. You smiled, making use of the distraction to place both hands on his shoulders. 

There was no way in hell you could win with your strength alone, but they didn’t call you Vixen just because you could turn into a fox, rather it was because of how resourceful you were. Or perhaps your animagus had turned out a fox because of how resourceful you were, what came first, the phoenix or the flame? Whichever it might have been, it was still one of your best qualities and you’d be damned if you didn’t use any of your quick wits to give yourself an advantage in the situation. 

Using his distraction, you pressed both of your hands on his shoulders, focusing as much as you could to cast a silent Impedimenta. It wasn’t nearly as effective as if you had used a wand, but it was enough to get his legs to go limp You kicked the one in between your legs to the left while you pushed both his shoulders to the right, successfully inverting the position you’d been on. He was so shocked as he landed on the bed that he just gawked at you, giving you just enough time to take his wand from the side and pointed it at his neck. Both of you knew you would never hurt him, but it was one of the ways to mark a duel as finished, leaving your opponent unarmed, and at the end of their own wand as a sign of defeat.

“Do you surrender?” you asked, looking down at him with a smile as you tried to catch your breath, both of your legs rested on either side of his torso as your chest heaved up and down. You had that same triumphant smile you’d sometimes make after stopping a goal on the Quidditch pitch. Or the one you’d had for a split second as you caught the snitch in that one game, at least before you fell on the swampy water. 

Remus was far too stunned to speak, and Sirius was absolutely delighted as he plopped another strawberry in his mouth. He would have already dragged you down for a kiss by then. Perhaps I’m not the only one, he thought after noticing something interesting in Remus’ eyes. 

Remus swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down his throat as he looked at you; he had somehow recovered himself from your Impedimenta, enough to turn things back around if he’d wanted to, but there was something about you looking at him the way you were that he wasn’t sure he was ready to change yet. 

He drank you in for one more moment, eyes flashing gold before he used one of the arms still on the bed to force himself into a sitting position while the other one snatched his wand from your hand in a move so fast you barely saw coming. Once he was halfway up, and you started sliding down his torso, he used his now free hand and placed it behind your back so that you wouldn’t fall to the floor. 

“Do you?” he asked once he was sitting on the bed, you’d landed on his lap facing him, but it didn’t take you as long to recover as it had taken him, you could feel the tip of his wand on the side of your neck now, right under your jaw, barely pressing against you, both of his arms caging you to him. When an attacker's wand came from behind it was much harder to get out of it, but that didn’t mean Nightshade hadn’t taught you how to do it. The catch here was that you didn’t really want to. 

Remus noticed your eyes sparkling as they moved across his face, a gaze so piercing and calculating it almost made him nervous; it had that same confident quality Sirius’ often had, and when your eyes landed on his lips, he realised that perhaps you hadn’t been that wrong with your initial assumption. Sirius looked at the two of you, tilted his head to the side, and locked the door with a silent spell, trying to make the entire thing as quiet as possible. Not that either of you would have noticed, not with how enthralled you were with one another. 

Instead of responding, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, his hands instantly pulling you closer to him. It was instinctive the way he held you to him, lips crashing against each other, scrambling together, hungry, mad, loaded with lust and desire, some of the tension from earlier slowly dissolving into into zest, into the intrinsic need for one another, the natural magnetism that already drew the two of you close to one another, comme il faut.

Sirius had to resist the urge to whistle at the sight, he wanted to tease the two of you madly, but you’d probably stop kissing if he did, and the idea of losing the sight of you sitting on Remus’ lap as you pretty much devoured his lips was dreadful. He didn't think he’d mind just sitting there watching while the two of you fucked each other senseless, perhaps he’d even encourage it; after all, Remus hadn't yet gotten to feel you the way he had, so perhaps things should be evened out before the three of you tried something together. Not that either of you had forgotten about Sirius. In fact, knowing that he was watching was perhaps making the entire ordeal even more stimulating. 

But ‘resourceful’ wasn’t the only characteristic that could describe you. You were also incredibly competitive, and the little tickling duel from earlier wasn’t something you wanted to lose either, so while you kissed Remus, and felt the wand in his hand travel from your back to the front, you traced a line brushing your fingers from his forearm to his hand, and then snatched the wand from his hands, as if you were helping him get rid of it. He already had his hand on your cheek when you pointed the wand against his ribs and pulled back from the kiss with a smile. He leaned onto you for a whole second before finally pulling back with a confused realization. 

“What–” he started. 

You tilted your head to the side and lowered your gaze towards the wand against his ribs. “How about you surrender?” you said, soft breath fanning against his face as you recovered from the lack of air and the thumping of your heart against your chest, as calmly as you could. The way you were looking at him, a mix between teasing and kissed-dumb, oozing confidence, was almost too much to bear, absolutely maddeningly attractive. 

Sirius didn’t hold back this time around and wolf-whistled, the sound almost blending with both yours and Remus’ heartbeats. 

“You–” he let out a soft, airy laugh as he looked at your soft hand holding his own wand against him for the second time in the last couple of minutes. “You kissed me as a distraction,” he chuckled. 

“I kissed you because I wanted to.“ you corrected. “It being a perfect distraction was nothing but a happy coincidence.” 

He shook his head in amusement and you pressed the wand to his rib a little harder, as if that could make any difference, “Go on, wave the white flag.” 

Remus gave you a challenging look as if he was thinking of another way to take his wand from you. He could have, if he really wanted to, he’d just have to push you to the side, neither of you was going to actually use magic on each other. But his thoughts were more aligned with yours than it seemed: he didn’t want you off him either.

“Just say you are and go back to snogging,” Sirius whispered to himself as if he were watching a movie or reading an extremely exhilarating book. Of course, Remus heard him, even if you didn’t. Luckily, he wasn’t nearly as competitive as you were. Being around James and Sirius – who were basically brilliant at anything they tried – had taught him that he didn’t need to be the fastest or the best at something to be remarkably good at it. Besides, who gave a damn about winning when losing would bring your lips back to his. 

He turned to the wand again, and when he pulled his gaze from it. Then, he looked straight at you, his eyes flashing golden for a second before he said, “I surrender,” creating an oxymoron with the defying manner in which he spoke. His lips curled just slightly upwards as his gaze focused solely on yours.

“What a little shit,” Sirius whispered, this time aware Remus would hear. 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well, I have not been writing as much as I used to but I'm forcing myself to do it by posting some of my back up chapters (I've written like 9 ahead of posting –I guess it's only 8 now). And you know what would be lovely and uplifting? To see your thoughts and comments! Either way, as always: Love, Lils

Leave a comment telling me if you wanna be tagged on Gilded Constellations

Want to support me? Like and reblog this post (reblogs are extra nice since they help me get my work to more people), also guys, I absolutely love reading your comments, so do throw them my way if you have any!

[maplegyu]

Went into this with no expectations! I just saw the tropes and summary and was like ooohhh i love all of these! I ended up rly loving the story and enjoying my read!!!

Your fingers tightened around the glass. Without thinking, you poured yourself another shot—your third, or was it the fourth? You weren’t keeping track anymore.

Mingyu let out a small chuckle, and that was it—you tipped your head back and downed the drink in one go.

Your chest tightened. Mingyu was your closest friend. Your partner for everything. The one you laughed with, teased, leaned on. Seeing her in that space, acting like she belonged, made your skin crawl. You probably were just overreacting- and yet, you just kept drinking.

Loved loved loved how this was written!!! I could really feel how reader was clinging onto the alcohol like a lifeline! The more it felt like Mingyu would be slipping through her fingers the harder she tried to be grounded by something else!

God, you were so hopelessly in love with him.

I GET U READER I WOULD BE TOO He's such a gentleman and he's sooo in tune with her feelings WHO WOULDNT FALL IN LOVE W KIM MINGYU

Of course, it wasn’t a big deal to him. But to you? It was everything. Every single thing.

GOD I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS its like ur breaking ur own heart bc the feeling is like!! WHAT RIGHT DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY???!! i get u reader i rly get uuuu BUT UR FEELINGS ARE REAL AND VALID 😭 the hoping and yearning wow wow wow

I loved the imagery of the writing so much!!! Especially the scene outside the restaurant!!! Felt so immersed in the story and in very few scenes was already familiar with how close reader and Mingyu are and their feelings for each other.

BUT THE MORNING AFTER SCENE OH MY GOD???!?! CHEEKY MINGYU AAAAHHHHHHHHH

ON GOD!!! I AM NOT OVER THE IMAGE OF JUST WOKEN UP MINGYU, RASPY VOICE, REACHING OUT FOR READER... SMIRKING!!!!!! who wouldnt want to wake up next to this man for the rest of their lives?!

"Oh, this is fun," - im sorry. I WANT HIM SO BAD. Mingyu being a tease and being cheeky... I LOVE THIS KIND OF MINGYU GENUINELY LIKE SOME OF MY FAVORITE MINGYU TO READ!!!!!

YES HE DID BECAUSE PERHAPS!!!! HE IS IN LOVE WITH U ALSO DEAR READER?! 💘

“I know you can,” he said with that same, effortless ease, his tall, towering frame moving toward you without hesitation. “But let me.” His voice was softer this time, the teasing gone. 

MY KNEES TURNED TO JELLY FR!!!! when he is chivalrous and a gentleman but also hot as fuck 🤩

Mingyu stood at the stove, moving effortlessly like he belonged there, he changed his white shirt. His black t-shirt now clinging just enough to make you notice. The sleeves stretched over his biceps, broad and defined, flexing slightly with each movement.

IMAGINING THIS MINGYU

AND I DONT BLAME READER FOR HAVING A HARD TIME W HER FEELINGS FOR HIM

THE WAY THIS WHOLE SCENE EXCITED ME BECAUSE IT CONFIRMS THAT MINGYU DOES ACTUALLY FEEL FEELINGS FOR READER TOO!!!! ITS NOT ONE-SIDED AAAAHHHHH ✨️

Yeah. He was so screwed. 

#MAPLEGYU SCREAMS!!!!!!!!! this is everything. officially down bad. on his way to becoming a certified loverboy!!!!!!

The whole back and forth about stealing and wearing Mingyu's clothes...... THE OBVIOUS FLIRTING PLEASE I WAS RLY EATING IT UP!!!! dont u two realize ur so into each other aaahhhhhh! And then tbh at this point i thought the story (or part 1) would be over but there was more!!!!

Mingyu was still there and reader was wearing his clothes. Excuse me a whole day of domesticity with your favorite person????

The way user taesjpq painted the picture of how their night was going sent me to space actually because ITS THE LITTLE THINGS!!!! together ordinary things feel extraordinary 😭 and im sure thats what reader felt w gyu!!!! And please they never stopped flirting! Him telling her he looks good in his clothes!!?? MY BABY GIRL LET YOUR MIND GO THERE!!!! THINK ABT GYU BEING PART OF UR DAILY LIFE!!!! BELIEVE HE LIKES U BACK COS HE DOES!!!!!

He watches you with an intensity that makes the room feel smaller, more intimate. His eyes flicker to your lips, and that’s when it happens—the hesitation. Heswallows hard, fighting the urge to close the distance entirely. He’s trying—really trying—to resist, to keep this from crossing a line neither of you can come back from. But it’s impossible when you’re looking at him like that, when your body is so close, when the scent of you wrapped in his clothes makes his head spin. 

THIS MADE ME INSANE I LEGIT WASNT BREATHING

SO IMAGINE MY EXCITEMENT WHEN HE TRIED TO GO IN FOR A KISS!!!!!!! The build-up??!?! The uncertaintainty but also wanting it so bad??!?! CROSS IT CROSS THE LINE!!!! God im rooting for them i am suchhhh a sucker for bff's to lovers!!!!!!!

Thank you for writing this i really reaaally enjoyed it!!! I cant wait for the next part!!!! 💖

Jealousy part. I

genre — suggestive fluff, best friends to lovers, smut (maybe in part II) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ pairing — female!reader x best friend!Mingyu summary — You, Hoshi, Wonwoo, and Mingyu—inseparable. Their apartment feels like your second home. But one of them makes your heart race in ways you wish it wouldn’t. He treats you like you’re special—attentive, caring, almost like a boyfriend. But he’s not your boyfriend. He’s your best friend. He treats you this way—this is just how Mingyu is, right? word count — 4,3k (part l)

Warnings and notes under the line.

WARNINGS: Alcohol consumption, jealousy/insecurity, unrequited/complicated feelings, emotional distress, avoidance/coping mechanisms, mild possessiveness (towards him), possible hangover, waking up next to someone, suggestive elements/mild sexual tension, light kiss [let me know if I forgot something]

notes: san (ateez) cameo (you will better understand in part II) Hoshi, Wonwoo cameo. This is my first published ff ever, I hope you like it. I‘m actually very nervous about it, so feel free to give your opinion. I just wrote this, when I felt down bad for Mingyu again (he‘s so boyfriend istg). The question is, when i am not exactly down bad for Mingyu? He‘s the standard.

"Any plans for the weekend?"  

San held the office door open for you, his gentle smile as familiar as ever.  

You sighed quietly, relieved that the exhausting workweek was finally over. It had been chaos—half the staff out sick, leaving you drowning in double the workload.  

San had been your lifesaver, stepping in every time you thought you might break under the pressure.  

"Actually, I'm meeting my friends at a restaurant," you replied, noticing the faint flicker of something wistful in his eyes.  

"Why am I not surprised?" he teased, his grin widening as you stepped through the door.  

San had a way of always asking about your plans, like he was hoping, just once, your answer might include him. But it never did. Just: „My friends, my friends, my friends.“ 

It wasn’t a lie, though. You practically lived at their apartment. Gaming nights with Wonwoo, gym sessions with Mingyu, and endless meals with Hoshi—that was your rhythm, your second home.  

"Thanks for the coffee, San. Next time, it’s on me," you said, flashing him a grateful smile.  

"Anytime," he replied, his gaze lingering for just a moment longer before you parted ways.

 

You arrived flustered, breathless from rushing. Of course, they were already here. 

As you pushed open the door, the warm buzz of conversation and clinking plates enveloped you.  

Your eyes scanned the restaurant, locking on them almost immediately: your boys—and a girl. A girl? 

She was sitting beside Mingyu, close enough that their arms nearly brushed. Her laugh carried across the table, light and unrestrained, and something about it made your stomach twist. Who was she?  

"Finally!" Hoshi greeted you as you approached, his voice brimming with playful exasperation. "We thought you’d ditched us."  

You forced a smile, settling into the usual chaos of their teasing welcome. 

"This is Hana," Wonwoo explained casually when he caught the question in your eyes.  

"And? don’t you think she looks just like me?" Hoshi added, grinning as he gestured dramatically toward her.  

You studied her more closely, and the resemblance hit you. It was uncanny—her smile, her energy. She could’ve been his twin. 

"I’ve been crashing at their place for a few days," Hana said, extending her hand toward you. "Hoshi insisted."  

Your polite smile barely reached your eyes. Why hadn’t anyone told you?  

"Nice to meet you," you said, shaking her hand and glancing around. There wasn’t an empty chair for you.  

Mingyu noticed immediately. Without hesitation, he stood, grabbing one from a nearby table and setting it beside him.  

"Thanks, Gyu," you murmured, your voice softer than you intended.  

He nodded and gave you a gentle smile. 

Oh, how you’d missed him. His warmth, his silly jokes—the way his laughter could dissolve the stress of your week. You’d been looking forward to this, to catching up with him. But now, it seemed difficult.  

As the group settled into conversation, you tried to focus, tried to join in. But your attention kept drifting—to Hana, to how close she sat to Mingyu, to the way she leaned into him when she laughed. Her fingers grazed his arm casually, like she belonged there.  

"So, Hana, how do you like the city so far?" Wonwoo asked, drawing her attention.  

"It’s great," she said brightly. "Hoshi’s been showing me around—it’s been so much fun."  

Her hand lingered on Mingyu’s shoulder as she spoke, and your stomach knotted uncomfortably.  

Just then, the waiter arrived, placing drinks on the table. Four sojus. Your eyebrows lifted in surprise—they’d ordered before you arrived. That wasn’t how things worked. You always waited. It was a small tradition, but it mattered. Or, at least, it used to.  

"One soju for me too, please," you said quickly, catching the waiter before he walked away.  

But the unease didn’t leave. Hana’s touchiness continued—her laugh too loud, her attention on Mingyu too focused. He didn’t seem to mind, even smiled at her a few times. Yet, every so often, his eyes flicked to you, as if checking for something. 

You didn’t know why, but every time Hana’s hand brushed against his arm, you reached for your bottle. Every time she giggled a little too sweetly, your glass met your lips. The warm burn sliding down your throat was easier to deal with than the twist in your chest. 

"You should see these two at the gym," Hoshi chimed in suddenly, pointing between you and Mingyu. "They’re like workout aliens or something." 

The group laughed, and you managed a small smile, but your heart wasn’t in it. 

Hana giggled, leaning closer to Mingyu. "Maybe you can show me some moves sometime," she said, her tone playful. 

Your fingers tightened around the glass. Without thinking, you poured yourself another shot—your third, or was it the fourth? You weren’t keeping track anymore.  

Mingyu let out a small chuckle, and that was it—you tipped your head back and downed the drink in one go. 

Your chest tightened. Mingyu was your closest friend. Your partner for everything. The one you laughed with, teased, leaned on. Seeing her in that space, acting like she belonged, made your skin crawl. You probably were just overreacting- and yet, you just kept drinking. 

“I need to go to the bathroom,” you lie, the words tumbling out too quickly, barely convincing even to yourself. 

You needed space—air that wasn’t thick with your confusion, your frustration. If you stayed another second, your face would betray you, exposing the childish jealousy simmering just beneath the surface.  

The cool evening air hit you like a lifeline as you stepped outside, goosebumps forming on your arms from the crisp breeze. 

You closed your eyes briefly, letting it kiss your flushed cheeks, but it did little to soothe the ache in your chest. The dull, relentless throb of longing refused to fade.  

“This isn’t the bathroom.”  

The familiar voice sent a jolt through you, every nerve in your body suddenly on high alert. You didn’t have to turn to know who it was.  

You glanced back anyway, already masking your shock with a strained smile. Of course, it’s him. It’s always him.  

“I don’t know what you mean,” you said, forcing a lightness you didn’t feel. “This looks like a bathroom to me.”  

He chuckled, that low, warm laugh that always did things to your chest, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. And despite yourself, you smiled too, because how could you not? 

God, you were so hopelessly in love with him.  

Without a word, he steps closer, draping your jacket over your shoulders. “You’re probably freezing,” he says, his voice gentle, but with a tenderness that makes your stomach tighten.  

His hands brush lightly against your skin as he adjusts the jacket, and it sends a shiver through you—not from the cold, but from the barely-there touch. 

You look up, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes meet his. His gaze softens, a flicker of concern crossing his face.  

The silence that followed stretched taut between you, thick and heavy with unspoken words. Neither of you seemed willing to break it. The faint hum of traffic and the muffled buzz of laughter from the bar filled the empty space.  

You shifted uncomfortably, your fingers toying with the hem of your dress. Don’t say it. Don’t bring her up. Just let it go. But the question clawed its way out of you anyway.  

“I didn’t know Hana was staying at your place,” you blurted, the words sharper than you intended, laced with something raw and exposed.  

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair, his exasperation evident. “Yeah, I didn’t know either. Trust me.”  

You raise an eyebrow, still unsure. “Hoshi didn’t mention it?” 

“He forgot,” Mingyu mutters, shaking his head. What a Hoshi thing to happen, you thought.  

“I walked into my room, and she was already asleep in my bed. I didn’t have the heart to wake her, so I took the couch for the week.”  

Your stomach twisted, the weight of his explanation sitting heavy. Of course, he wouldn’t complain. He’s Mingyu—always generous, always selfless. Always giving more of himself than he should.  

“Oh,” you managed, your voice too light, too fake. “It’s just funny to think… if I showed up at your place, I’d find her instead of you.” You tried to laugh, but the sound was hollow, even to your ears.  

He shrugged, casual and unaffected. “It wasn’t a big deal for me. I worked overtime all week, so I wasn’t home much anyway.”  

Of course, it wasn’t a big deal to him. But to you? It was everything. Every single thing.  

You felt the sting of tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away quickly. Not here. Not now.  

The night had been shallow and hollow, a void you couldn’t seem to escape. All you’d wanted was a quiet evening with your friends, especially Mingyu. Just sitting beside him, leaning against his shoulder—feeling the solid warmth of him—would’ve been enough.  

But instead, you’d spent the evening watching Hana, her laughter, her touches, her presence invading spaces you’d always considered yours. Even if you don't have the right to do so. 

The ache in your chest sharpened, spreading through you like wildfire. You couldn’t stay here any longer.  

“I’m gonna head home,” you said, your voice flat, eyes fixed on the ground. “I think I need some rest after this week.”  

You felt his gaze land on you, heavy and searching, and for a moment, you wavered under its weight.  

“I’ll take you home,” he said softly, his voice firm, leaving no room for argument.  

“No, it’s okay,” you replied quickly, trying to steady your tone. “I have my car.”  

“I know,” he says, stepping closer, his presence almost overwhelming. His eyes scan your face, tracing every inch of you, as if reading you in ways that make your heart race. “But you shouldn’t drive. You drank too much.” 

“I’m fine,” you muttered, frustration bubbling up. “I’m not drunk.” 

 And then, he speaks again, voice softer, more tender. 

“Your cheeks,” he murmurs, his thumb gently brushing against your flushed skin. “They’re red. That happens when you drink too much.” 

You freeze, his touch lingering. Your heart pounds in your chest, and his proximity feels like a punch to your gut. He looks even more handsome than usual—his messy hair falling over his forehead, the soft fabric of his shirt still loose and unbuttoned just enough to make your breath catch. The way he stands there, effortlessly composed, but so close that you can almost taste the air between you—his scent wrapping around you like a warm, familiar blanket. 

God, you feel weak in front of him. 

“I can’t let you drive like this,” he adds softly. 

You want to protest, but the words catch in your throat. He cares. He always does. 

“Unless…” he tilts his head slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You’ve got other plans?”  

A sharp, throbbing pain pulsed through your head as you reached for your phone, your limbs feeling heavy under the weight of sleep. 

The sunlight filtering through the curtains was way too bright, making you wince as you blindly swiped to answer the call without checking the caller ID. 

“Hello…?” Your voice was hoarse, thick with exhaustion. 

“Mingyu, where are you?! I’ve been trying to reach both of you for hours!” 

Your brows furrowed, confusion washing over you like a cold wave. Mingyu? 

You pulled the phone away from your ear to check the name on the screen. Hoshi Hyung. 

Your headache made it hard to process, but one thing was clear—you would never save him like that. 

Why the hell was he even calling you about Mingyu? 

Just as the pieces of the puzzle refused to click into place, you felt it—a presence beside you. 

With a slow, sinking feeling, you turned your head to the right. 

And there he was. 

Mingyu. 

All 187 centimeters of him, sleeping peacefully under your blanket like he belonged there. His hair was tousled, his breathing deep and even, his broad chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm. 

Your eyes widened, your grip on the phone tightening. You hung up immedietly.  

Fuck. 

Before you could spiral too much, Mingyu let out a deep sigh, his arm stretching out lazily—almost like he was reaching for you. His eyes, still hazy with sleep, fluttered open but instantly softening the moment they land on you,— The way you were staring at him, as if he'd just appeared out of nowhere —his lips curled into a knowing smirk. 

“Morning,” he murmured, his voice deep and rough with sleep. 

“It’s 2 p.m., Mingyu.” 

He blinked slowly before lazily glancing around the room. “Shit, really?” His voice was raspy, thick. He let out a slow breath before sinking deeper into the pillows. “I slept so fucking good.” A lazy smile tugged at his lips as he let his eyes fall shut again. 

You watched him. His dark hair was a complete mess, strands sticking out in every direction, and yet, somehow, it only made him look softer. His skin looked warm and tan against the white sheets. His lips—full, slightly swollen from sleep—parted just the tiniest bit, and for a moment, you had to fight the urge to reach out, to trace them with your fingertips, just to see if they were as soft as they looked. 

You swallowed hard. "I... uh—what happened last night?" 

Mingyu let out a soft chuckle, rolling onto his side to face you properly. “You really don’t remember?” 

Your silence was answer enough. 

“Oh, this is fun,” he mused, resting his cheek against his palm. “You were very affectionate. Like, I knew you liked me, but I didn’t expect you to cling to me like that.” 

Your face burned instantly. “Shut up.” 

He grinned wider. “You wouldn’t let go. Kept saying I couldn’t leave, that I should sleep next to you.” His voice dropped into something teasing. “Should I start staying over more often?” 

The heat in your cheeks deepened, and without thinking, you grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him. He laughed, catching it effortlessly before it could hit his face. 

“Ohhh, so violent first thing in the morning,” he teased. “Where’s all that love from last night, huh?” 

You wanted to escape the awkwardness, so you stepped away from the bed, but as you did, your gaze betrayed you—flicking toward Mingyu. His white shirt hung loosely on his frame, almost completely unbuttoned, exposing a hint of his chest and the silver chain resting just above it. The sight made your breath catch for a moment, your heart skipping. 

Mingyu caught your glance. His eyes met yours for a heartbeat, but then they dropped—slowly, unwillingly, lingering on your legs just a moment too long. 

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling the fabric of your dress inching up, revealing more of your legs than you'd intended. The air between you both seemed to thicken, heavy with something unspoken. 

In an awkward flurry, Mingyu began buttoning his shirt, his movements too quick, too self-conscious, like he was suddenly aware of every inch of space between you. 

You cleared your throat, trying to fill the silence, and nervously stammered, “I—I’m making breakfast.” 

Mingyu immediately sat up, “I’ll do it.” 

You turned to glare at him, a bit sharper than you intended. “I can make it on my own.” 

“I know you can,” he said with that same, effortless ease, his tall, towering frame moving toward you without hesitation. “But let me.” His voice was softer this time, the teasing gone. 

His eyes flickered over you briefly—the exhaustion, the headache written all over your face, the way your clothes were still crumpled from last night. 

“You should take a shower,” he added, voice gentle. “It’ll help with the headache.” 

You blinked at him, and looked down on you after.  

“Yeah..probably.” 

You hesitated for a second before heading towards the bathroom, still feeling like you were stuck in some weird dream. 

The moment you stepped in front of the mirror, you almost flinch. 

Your makeup was smudged, your hair an absolute mess, strands sticking to your forehead. Your dress from last night was wrinkled and slightly loose on one side. 

You looked horrible. Greasy. Disgusting. 

Mingyu slept next to this? 

You suddenly wanted to cry. 

Taking a deep breath, you quickly peeled off your clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the weird feelings in your chest. 

By the time you were done, you felt human again. 

There was no way you were putting that dress back on, so you grabbed your bathrobe, tying it tightly around your waist before stepping out. 

Your hair was still damp, strands clinging to your skin as you walked barefoot toward the kitchen, following the smell of food. 

Mingyu stood at the stove, moving effortlessly like he belonged there, he changed his white shirt. His black t-shirt now clinging just enough to make you notice. The sleeves stretched over his biceps, broad and defined, flexing slightly with each movement.  

And then he turned around. 

For a moment, it was like time froze. 

Mingyu’s breath hitched the second his eyes landed on you. 

The damp strands of hair framing your face, the way your robe sat snugly around you, revealing the delicate curve of your collarbone—he was so unprepared for this. 

His fingers twitched around the wooden spoon, and for a split second, he forgot what he was even doing. His grip almost faltered. 

He was staring. 

Hard. 

You raised an eyebrow. “You good?” 

Mingyu swallowed, snapping out of it. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, I’m—uh, food’s almost done.” 

He forced a smile, turning back to the stove way too quickly—like he needed a second to compose himself. 

You didn’t question it, shrugging as you took a seat at the table. 

Mingyu, on the other hand, inhaled deeply, gripping the spoon like it was the only thing keeping him from completely losing his mind. 

Yeah. He was so screwed. 

“So.” Mingyu cleared his throat, a little too forcefully. “How’s your headache?” 

You barely looked up, scrolling through the endless messages from Hoshi and Wonwoo. “Hm? Oh-It still hurts. But I’m sure I’ll feel better after eating something."

A beat of silence. 

Too long. Too heavy. 

You, sitting there like that—bare-faced, hair still damp, wrapped up in your robe—he had seen you like this before. And yet, right now, it felt… different. His fingers flexed against the edge of the kitchen counter. 

He didn’t want to think about why. 

“How’s work been lately?” he asked, voice casual—too casual. “You looked exhausted yesterday. And, well… the number of drinks you had kind of spoke for itself.” 

You let out a dry laugh, stretching your legs beneath the table. “Yeah, work… Work has been insane. Feels like half the office is out sick, and I’m the lucky one picking up the slack.” 

Mingyu frowned as he turned off the stove, moving with practiced ease. “That’s bullshit.” A pause. “No wonder you were exhausted.” 

That wasn’t the reason you drank last night, but he didn’t need to know that.  

You shrugged, watching him. The way he knew where everything was. The way he moved through your kitchen like he belonged there. Because he did. 

Mingyu set a plate in front of you before settling into the chair across from you. He picked up his fork but didn’t eat right away, just watching you for a beat. 

“You really need a break,” he muttered, mostly to himself. Then, his eyes flickered to yours, and something shifted in his expression. A smirk tugged at his lips. “Or maybe just… new clothes.” 

You blinked. “What?” 

He gestured vaguely toward you. “I mean, I knew you had a couple of my things, but—” He gave you a pointed look. “At this point, half of your closet is mine. I could practically  move in here.” 

You almost choked on your food. 

That little shit. 

Mingyu leaned back in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. “You know, I always wondered where my stuff kept disappearing to.” He tilted his head, pretending to think. “For a while, I actually believed I had a hole in my closet.” 

You swallowed your bite. “Weird. Sounds like a you problem.” 

He scoffed. “Oh, really?” 

You nodded, keeping your face blank. “Mhm. No clue what you’re talking about.” 

His gaze flickered over you, his smirk deepening. “So, you’re telling me my hoodies just magically disappeared? Along with my t-shirts? And my beanie? And—” 

“Okay, okay,” you cut in, groaning. “Maybe your clothes are just… way too comfortable. Not my fault they’re basically begging to be stolen.” 

“Begging,” he repeated, like he was tasting the word. 

“Yes.” You met his eyes, feigning innocence. “I don’t see the issue.” 

Mingyu let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.” 

You smirked, tilting your head. “And yet, you still let me steal your stuff.” 

He exhaled through his nose, picking at his food. “I don’t let you. You just take it.” 

“Semantics.”  

Mingyu rolled his eyes, but there was something in his expression—something warm, something familiar. 

For a moment, it almost felt normal again. Like the weird tension from before had settled into something softer. Something easier. 

But then his eyes lingered on you a second too long. 

And suddenly, it was back. 

That unspoken thing between you. 

Neither of you acknowledged it. 

You just kept eating. 

And Mingyu? 

Mingyu was so, so screwed. 

Your phone started ringing. Hoshi was calling. 

We were screwed. 

By the time evening settled in, you had changed into something comfortable—his clothes, to be exact. He was still here, lingering in your space, and for a few fleeting hours, everything felt right. As if this was how it was always meant to be. As if this was your everyday. But deep down, a small voice whispered, warning you not to get used to it. 

After dinner,  Mingyu is still here. 

You’re in the kitchen, washing dishes side by side like it’s nothing, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. His hand brushes against yours when he reaches for a plate, and it’s almost too quick to register. But you don’t pull away. Neither does he. 

He leans against the counter, arms crossed loosely, watching you as you load the dishes into the dishwasher. His voice breaks the silence, low and casual, but there’s an edge to it, something like hesitation. 

“Do you still have a headache?” 

Before you can speak, he’s close. His presence fills the space between you. His left hand gently presses against your forehead.. His right hand moves to your neck, fingers brushing lightly over your skin.  

You barely notice it at first, but when you shift slightly, you feel it—your back pressing against the counter. Mingyu is so close, standing in front of you, subtly caging you in You can barely breathe. You don’t know what’s worse: the fact that he’s so close, or the fact that you want him closer.  

Your voice falters when you answer. "I’m fine now. It’s... better." You watch as Mingyu’s face softens in an instant at your words. 

Neither of you moves, standing close, too close.  

Mingyu’s lips quirk into a grin, but there’s a hint of something more in his voice. “My clothes look good on you. I should let you steal them more often.” 

You laugh, but it’s breathless. You stretch up, reaching for his face, your fingers brushing his skin. You squint your eyes, making a playful face. “I’d do it anyway. Don’t need your permission.” 

Mingyu chuckles, but his gaze shifts, sharpening just enough for you to notice. He steps closer. The warmth radiating off his body, the faint brush of his leg against yours, the way his chest is so close that if you just leaned in the smallest bit, you'd be pressed against him. It’s intoxicating. You don’t even realize you’ve stopped breathing for a second until you force yourself to inhale, only to take in the faint scent of him—clean, familiar, utterly Mingyu. 

He watches you with an intensity that makes the room feel smaller, more intimate. His eyes flicker to your lips, and that’s when it happens—the hesitation. Heswallows hard, fighting the urge to close the distance entirely. He’s trying—really trying—to resist, to keep this from crossing a line neither of you can come back from. But it’s impossible when you’re looking at him like that, when your body is so close, when the scent of you wrapped in his clothes makes his head spin. 

And then, he inches closer, almost without thinking, and his lips brush against yours—just the lightest touch, so soft that it could almost be a breath. Your body tenses, and for a second, everything stills.  

But fuck, it’s enough to send heat coursing through his veins. 

His lips are soft, teasing, brushing lightly against yours. The kiss is slow, barely there, but enough to leave you gasping for more. 

You inhale sharply, your breath mixing with his. You don’t move away. If anything, you shift closer, your body reacting before your mind can catch up. 

His lips linger, hovering, teasing. Testing. 

His self-control is hanging by a thread. 

He tells himself to stop. You were loosing yourself in it. You- 

- Ding Dong 

The sound of the doorbell rings, slicing through the tension. You both freeze. The world shifts back into focus. The heat, the closeness, everything evaporates in an instant. 

You step back, your breath coming in uneven gasps. Mingyu looks away, running a hand through his hair, trying to regain his composure. 

[d34dlysinner]

HII! And sure I can write that lmao! Thank you for the request!!

MDNI,

The reactions of the guys when you stare at them and compliment them.

Satan was running through the Gehenna streets, pulling you along with him as he helped you evade the attacks that were coming down from the sky.

"Ugh, this place should do. You should stay here and keep out of sight.", he grunted as you both finally got a place to rest. That's when he noticed how you were staring at his pinkish white hair that seemed almost like a cloud with how fluffy it was. Not only that, but you couldn't help to admire how his skin glimmers softly with how the light now hits his face.

"What?", he asked in an almost mocking tone as he leaned closer to you to look you straight in the eyes.

"I... You seem so pretty right now, so...", you muttered as you broke eye contact with him. He stood still. Not knowing how to react to such a compliment. After the surprise wore off, he patted your head and muttered: "You can continue admiring me, but after I killed those angels who disturbed our date." He gave you a smile before running back out to join the fight with his people.

Mammon, who would carry you all over Tartaros if he has the chance. The same man who would give you all he owned in exchange to be in your good graces and to be even in your presence. He would bask in the attention you're giving him. Even if it's just you staring. He wouldn't ask at first, but he definitely noticed.

It was only when his nobles asked or told him about it that he needed to ask.

He waited until you stared at him again. This time it was when you were in his firm arms.

"Why do you stare at me at times? Not that I mind.", he asked, smiling up at you as he continued walking down the hallway with you.

"You're just handsome.", you said giggling as you smiled back at you.

"I hope you'll keep staring at me then. I would love if you only looked at me like this.", he replied.

Zagan felt awkward as he stood still in his tracks. "Hm...", he hummed. Not knowing if he should speak out loud or not.

"Are you okay, Zagan?", you asked as you stopped beside him.

"...", he looked down at you. A blush on his face as he opened his mouth slightly. 'Is he going to speak?' You wondered as you heard the following words.

"Not that I dislike it, but I get flustered when you're staring at me like that.", he answered as he looked away from you and covered his mouth with a hand.

"Huh, well... You're handsome, but... sorry ... I didn't know I was staring at you just now...", you said as you actually thought about being in a trance whenever you look at him. He only blushed more at your words. He shook his head as a way to say that he actually wanted you to stare more.

Andrealphus couldn't see you staring, but he definitely knew you were. He isn't shy to ask though. He wants to know what of him intrigues you. "I know that you've been looking at me. Why?", he asked. His tone somewhat monotone and calm, but you could sense a slight hint of curiosity being in there.

"... I... sorry, I just think that you're pretty is all.", you replied honestly. Even if Andrealphus wouldn't be able to see he knew he could trust atleast you. "What about me do you think is pretty? Describe it, please.", he asks. He wants to be able to see what he looks like to you. So you start describing every point, from his soft hair to his painful scars and told him what you loved about them.

Stolas caught you a few times, but he either says nothing or he asks you in the most judgemental and monotone voice if there is something. You would always deny there being something which left Stolas to think about why you were staring. He would inspect himself, he would convince himself that it's because he's handsome. He would just think. Until it passes him off. Then he'll actually start demanding to know why you would stare at him.

You at times would tease him or change the subject, but one day he was very persistent. You just had to answer: "I just think that you're pretty...", you said which made Stolas stop in his tracks. He looks as if he's trying to register what you just told him, but he's having a hard time. Trying to calm himself down and seem cool, he'll clear his throat and say: "You mean handsome. Yes, I am." He says before continuing what he was doing. A blush now on his face.

Glasyalabolas wouldn't notice at first since he's always looking over people's heads. Until at some moment. He noticed you staring while you were in a conversation with him.

"Did something catch your attention?", he said. His deep voice waking you up from your trance.

"OH!... Uh... I guess so.", you said, not denying his question, but also not answering.

He raised a brow at this response and leaned down to look you right in the eyes. "Would you mind telling me?", he asked. Wanting to tease you as he expected you to deny, but instead he stood frozen on the spot when you did reply.

"I just think that you're handsome is all...", you said almost too casually.

"Hm?", was all he could muster to say as he straightened his back again.

"I see... Well, if I am so handsome then you're allowed to stare some more huh. Maybe Foras would go crazy because of this.", he chuckled at the thought of the demon in question getting agitated whenever you look at him, the tallest man in hell, again.

"Look at me enough to annoy him, but not enough to cause me issues then."

[the-witty-pen-name]

Everything that I Wanted (2)

Eddie Munson x F!Reader / Billy Hargrove x F!Reader 

Word Count: 5k 

Synopsis: Love triangle between your best friend Eddie and your first boyfriend, Billy Hargrove that spans over many years as you get everything you think you ever wanted. However, your life doesn’t play out how you expected it, starting from the first time you’re asked out on a date. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI; SMUT (oral m receiving), angst, language, depictions of a toxic relationship (manipulation, coercion/guilting & isolation from peers)

A/N: Comments & Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know what you think! Thank you so much @munsonsmixtapes @punkrockmlchael @keeryhours @losingmygrasponreality for letting me talk to y'all and reading this for me!

PART ONE

It was obvious to Eddie why you never called him, when he sees you walk into school on Billy’s arm. From the outside, you looked like you were head over heels in love with Billy and Eddie could barely stomach the thought. Everyone at school is staring at you, it feels like- but of course they are. Suddenly, a freak of Hawkins is walking into school with Billy Hargrove’s arm slung around her shoulder. It’s a spectacle that makes you shy away and makes Billy cockier than before, thriving on the attention he’s getting. Eddie feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest, knowing that you’d rather be with Billy devastates him. 

He should’ve said something sooner. He regrets bottling up this affection he holds for you. Selfishly, he thought he had more time- more time to make you see how perfect you both are for each other. You’re with Billy and he feels like it's his fault. You felt so lonely, and undesirable, and Eddie is convinced he made you feel that way by keeping his feelings locked up. Billy’s going to hurt you, break your heart, and he feels helpless like he can’t save you. Do you even have to be saved? 

Billy notices Eddie looking, Hellfire congregating around Gareth’s locker. He smirks, giving Eddie a knowing look before giving Eddie a little show. Billy whispers something in your ear, making you giggle before turning you so your back is to your locker and he kisses you, tongue slipping into your mouth and his hands sliding into the back pockets of your jeans. Anger boils over in Eddie’s chest, he knows exactly what Billy is doing. He can’t give the jerk the satisfaction if he stays and watches the spectacle. He mumbles something about needing a smoke to Jeff, making an excuse to leave, slamming the side door behind him. 

The PDA makes you uncomfortable, hating how it seems like everyone’s eyes are on you. Despite the uneasiness you feel inside, you can’t help but melt at the way Billy is touching you, at how he’s letting everyone know that he wants you. It’s dizzying. So, you fold, giving into his touch and letting him kiss you however he likes. When he pulls away, he’s grinning like a little kid, pressing his forehead to yours. 

“We gave them quite the show, princess,” he whispers, caressing your sides, and you see how he’s talking about your friends- most of Hellfire standing there stunned. “Remember what we talked about,” he whispers close to your ear, sending a shiver up your spine. You look over at Gareth, and his eyes search yours. You can practically hear what he’s thinking. What the actual fuck? Or something along those lines. You’d never seen Gareth look- disappointed. It gutted you. 

“You know… I know you and everyone else thinks Hellfire is like this weird satanic cult, but honestly, Billy- they are just a bunch of geeks. D&D is just a game… It's a lot of fun. Maybe if you came with me-”

“Not happening,” he deadpans. “Princess, I don’t think they’re good for you…”

He takes your books and carries them, which honestly catches you off guard. He also surprises himself, not sure what’s coming over him. He tries not to think about it too much, leaving the thoughts by the door as you both walk into your chemistry class. Plopping the books on the work table, he slides his stool closer to yours so your shoulders brush. 

“I think if you played, you’d like it,” you try to insist. Billy tries his best to not roll his eyes and scoff. He shakes his head. 

“No I wouldn’t,” he says, his tone a little curt. You pretend it doesn’t hurt your feelings and just continue talking. You loved the game- and you found yourself wanting to share with him. Plus, sometimes when you get started on a topic you love, you have trouble dropping it. 

“Come on, just try it, please?” you ask, wide pleading eyes making him cave. He hates it- that you manage your way under his skin like this. The effect you have on him is something he can’t explain. It’s not something he’s ready to unpack- he doesn’t want to see that part of himself. 

“I’m not going to waste a Friday night with those freaks,” he says, his hand rubbing your back, “Not when there’s much better things I can think of- that would just be me and you.” He smirks, but you miss it- too preoccupied with pulling your pouch of dice out of your backpack. Billy blinks, taken aback at your complete disregard to his flirting. 

“No, we can just play right now,” you smile, opening up your notebook to a blank page and emptying the pouch contents out onto it. “Please, just try it- I promise you’ll have fun…”

“Fine,” he rolls his eyes. 

“So imagine you’re in the woods- you have a sword sheathed at your side, a dagger on your leg and a shield in your arm,” you begin setting the scene. “In the distance, you hear a noise- like the heavy footsteps of an animal. What do you do? What do you want to know?” 

You’re setting the scene in such a way that Billy is pulled into the storytelling almost immediately. You watch how he legitimately ponders the question and you can watch him thinking through the options. You can’t help but smile, happy to see his willingness to try even if only to appease you. 

“Um, what direction did the noise come from?” He asks, and it makes his heart swell when you seem giddy at his question. 

“So we don’t have a character sheet, so I’m just gonna fudge the stats. But you’d do a perception check- and based on how you roll, you’d see if you can answer that.” You pick up the dice and drop them into his hand. He looks down at them, rolling his eyes, but still rolls anyways. “Good roll,” you beam, and he can’t help but smile at the compliment. “You’re a natural,” you praise. 

“So you can tell that the noise is coming from the North, maybe North East. It’s coming from about 30 feet away. You also know that these woods are known to have dangerous species. How would you proceed?” 

“Do I recognize the sound?” He asks, hanging onto your words. He won’t admit it, but you have him sucked into this story, thrilled at the opportunity to play the hero. 

“The dice will tell you,” you tease and Billy rolls again. “Yes, you recognize that it's a chimera- the dangerous fire breathing beast that has the body of a goat, the heads of a lion and a goat and the tail of a serpent… you also know that their joints are their weak spots.”

“Do I know how to defeat one?” Billy asks, rolling before you even need to tell him. It makes you smile, biting your lip- happy to be seeing this side of him. He looks to you to decipher his role. 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, well,” he rubs his face with his hands like he’s actually in this situation. You find it endearing, “I wanna try to attack and kill it,” he says, nodding to himself like he’s convincing himself he made the right decision. He holds his breath as the dice roll across the table. 

“You did it!” You exclaim excitedly, wrapping your arms around him in congratulations. He chuckles, hugging you back. Warmth spreads throughout him, proud of his accomplishment and also as a reaction to your excitement. He won’t admit how much he actually enjoyed it. 

“Okay, sure,” he shrugs, but you can see through it. You know he had fun. 

“This is all Hellfire is,” you explain gently, hoping to convince him to change his mind- to show him that all you and your friends care about is a game. “Do you see why I like it?” you ask softly, hoping you showed him enough to make him understand. However, you around Eddie- all those other guys- not something he would want in any context, even if it was just D&D. The idea that you still are insistent on staying in the club upsets him- he should be enough for you. 

“I know you love it, princess,” he whispers, kissing your temple. “But those guys aren’t good for you- they aren’t good for us. They aren’t interested in friendship- they are just pretending to be your friends… Trust me, please? I don’t want you hanging out with other guys… You’re my girl, right? Not there’s…” 

You know deep down that this is wrong. If you weren’t so wrapped up in it, you’d be able to see the way Billy is trying to isolate you- keep you for himself. But, you can rationalize those apprehensions away so well. He’s your boyfriend, and he’s setting a boundary in your relationship- that’s normal. This is a sacrifice people need to make sometimes for the sake of their relationship. Why does it have to be so hard? You nod, giving in to his request- you think it's the right thing to do. 

You find Eddie at his locker in the middle of the day, and you take a deep breath- bracing yourself for the hard conversation you need to have with him. This is tearing you apart inside but it’s something that you think you need to do- thinking you’re doing it for the good of your relationship. 

“Hey, can we talk?” you ask, and Eddie can tell sometime is wrong. He closes his locker and leans against it. He sighs, and you can tell he’s upset. You already know it was about Billy- you don’t need to ask. You gulp, bracing yourself for how he’s going to react. 

“What’s up?” He asks, faking indifference. “I see your date was a big success…”

“Oh.. um, yeah,” you shuffle on your feet awkwardly, not able to meet his eyes. “Listen, I just needed to let you know I need to take a break from Hellfire for a little bit…”

“Is Billy making you do that?” Eddie asks, his eyes full of concern. You try to brush it off. 

“No, no, no,” you lie, “It’s not him. I just… I have a lot of projects and assignments coming up right now that I really need to focus on so I just thought it would be best if I take a break from Hellfire for a little while… not a big deal, you know?”

Eddie says your name, worry laced in his voice. This isn’t you talking, he knows that this was Billy’s doing. “Are you telling me the truth?” he asks, his voice cracking a little, unable to hide how upset he is. 

“Yeah, you know- I just need the time to focus on getting my grades up a little bit.” Eddie knew you were straight As and Bs, you out of anyone in the group didn’t need to get their grades up. He nods, pursing his lips and you know he’s holding back on saying something else to you. This hurts worse than a breakup, you can imagine. “It’s just for now, you know?” You continue, and you know that Eddie knows you’re lying. 

“Yeah, whatever you think you have to do…” 

“Okay,” you say, taking a shaky breath, holding back the tears that are welling up at Eddie’s indifference. “I’ll see you around then,” you say quickly, before walking away. You walk quickly, arms crossed over your chest with your head down. Eddie watches helplessly as you storm into the girls bathroom. He bangs his head up against the locker. 

“Stupid, fucking, stupid,” he says to himself, with each syllable he hits his forehead off the metal. He runs a hand through his hair, and he feels like he can’t breathe. The hallways are too congested, he feels trapped- he can’t be in this god awful building anymore. He brings a cigarette to his lips and makes a beeline for the parking lot. Fuck this place. He can’t be here knowing you’re here- with Billy. Somewhere at any given moment while he’s walking the halls alone, you’re here falling in love with someone else. Someone who isn’t him. 

Billy wasn’t sure how he managed to end up here. In all honesty, he didn’t expect to talk to you again after Saturday night, but now he’s here- walking you to class, holding your books, observing you all day at his side. He doesn’t understand what’s happening to him- how you have this effect on him. It supposed to be a hook-up- a conquest to check off of his list. 

Suddenly, he’s scared. Scared of whatever this is, scared of the unknown feelings that are swelling in his chest and most of all, scared of it ending. The paranoia fuels him to keep you close- wrapping himself around you so no one else could get in. It’s all he knows- he doesn’t understand this, he doesn’t understand you- he just knows fear, which is why he’s holding on too tight to whatever this is with you. 

After a couple of weeks, you’d never been more miserable. Billy confused you, and you never knew which version of him you would be getting. If it was just the two of you, he’d be sweet and attentive. He’d bring you to his house after school and you’d accompany him to pick up his little sister beforehand. You’d sit on his bed together and he’d rest his head in your lap or you’d lay against his chest. He’d let you run your fingers through his blonde curls and you’d make out until you fell asleep tangled up in each other's arms. 

At school, he was possessive. Guarded and closed off, it was like a shield went up and you couldn’t get through. It was like a performance and you didn’t know the steps so you had to pretend. You felt as though you needed to tip toe, hyper vigilant about things that could set him off. He’d show you affection but it didn’t feel like it was for your sake- but more like a tool, showing off for other people. Jealousy coursing through his veins, his arm would wrap tightly around you but instead of feeling loved- you felt trapped. 

You miss your friends, Eddie most of all. You catch yourself from approaching him, and you can’t help yourself as you stare longingly from across the cafeteria to your old seat at their table which remains empty. You wonder what they’re talking about, what they are planning for the most recent campaign, if they miss you even a fraction as much as you miss them. You watch as Gareth makes Eddie laugh, and the sound reverberates across the room. It makes your chest ache. More than anything you want to be in on the joke that made him laugh like that. 

“You okay, baby?” Billy asks, a whisper against your ear. His arm snakes around your waist and he rests his chin on your shoulder. He nudges your hair out of his way with his face, before leaving a trail of kisses on your neck. As you melt into his touch, he locks eyes with Eddie from across the room. He discreetly flips him the bird from behind your back before pulling you up from your seat and leading you out of the room. 

Eddie can’t take his eyes off of you as you walk out. He didn’t even know his jaw was clenched until Gareth elbows him and he feels the muscles release their tension. He hated everything about this. He resented Billy- jealousy coursing through his veins. He resented you for throwing away your friends for some guy. He also hates himself for not speaking up and just telling you how he felt. 

He knows Billy is telling you everything you want to hear. Like a snake that slithered its way into your head, filling it up with lies. He feels hopeless- not sure that you’d listen to him if he tried to talk to you anyways. He knows in his chest that Billy is keeping you from Hellfire. He just can’t figure out what Billy’s game is. He just knows he can’t bear watching this unfold. 

Your absence is looming in every aspect of his life these past few weeks. The empty seat at their lunch table was just the most apparent, just like the empty seat at Hellfire to his right. You haven’t called him or spoken to him even except to essentially break up with Hellfire. You haven’t spoken to Gareth- blowing him off when you had promised him a ride to The Hideout for a gig. You never came to Eddie's house after school- your sweatshirt still sits over his desk chair. Evidence that you were once a constant was all that lingered- your tapes in his stereo, your favorite snacks in Wayne’s pantry, your handwriting in the margins of his copy of The Hobbit… 

After school, your routine has changed. The days where you’d smoke with Eddie in his trailer and stare at the vent in the ceiling has been replaced to afternoons where you’re twisted up in Billy’s bedsheets, making out for hours. You could tell he was losing his patience with you, that he wanted things to progress further. You’d shy away, and he’d get angry; he wouldn’t say anything- just separate himself from you and grab his pack of cigarettes and you’d sit in silence completely guilt ridden while he smoked and stewed. He’d drive you home without ever talking about it. And he’d kiss you goodbye everytime like it never happened. It was so confusing. 

You’d resolved you needed to break this cycle. If you maybe you had felt differently on this particular Saturday night, you might have thought to break up with him. You might have realized how bad for you this was. However, despite his flaws- Billy was undeniably gorgeous. It made it increasingly difficult for you to decipher the red flags when his eyes are that just fucking blue. You were just a girl- with a very hot boyfriend who seemingly wanted you badly. Your resolve was crumbling with every passing day. 

But something was holding you back- you weren’t ready to fully give yourself to Billy. You couldn’t even think about it without using euphemisms in your mind, literally feeling too embarrassed by the thoughts you were having to ever properly express them. You also wanted your first time to be something more special than just Billy’s bedroom on a random night. You wanted something special, and figured when you were ready, you’d know. You’d feel it, and with Billy- it didn’t happen like you thought it would. 

But now, your head is resting on the back of Billy’s pillows and his body towers over yours as he slips his tongue in your mouth. You can practically feel him smirking against your lips as a soft moan escapes your lips. His hands rest on either side of your head, keeping him from putting his full weight on top of you. You like gently tugging on his curls and the way it makes him growl so lowly. You loved being the one to elicit those types of sounds from him. Billy took the lead everytime, but today you wanted to try something. 

“Billy,” you mumble against his lips, reluctantly pulling away from the kiss. Billy sighs, resting his face in the crook of your neck.

“Hmm?” His tone is irritated, but he continues nipping at your neck. You can tell he thinks you’re wanting to stop. 

“I wanna try something,” you whisper, and it makes him freeze. You feel a slight apprehension now that you’ve initiated- worried that you’re going to be bad at it. Suddenly, you’re a little more self-conscious about this idea of yours than you felt a few minutes ago. 

“Oh yeah?” he asks, smiling at you and he bites his lip. “What is it, princess?” He moves a strand of hair out of your eyes and he’s gazing down at you, eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he waits for you to tell him what you want. 

“I-um, I don’t really know…,” you stumble to find your words, the way he’s looking at you making your head dizzy. “It’s gonna sound so stupid…”

“Use your words, baby,” he coaxes, kissing your jaw again, making you shiver. “‘M not gonna judge, princess.” You release a shaky breath. 

“I wanna make you feel good,” you trail off, your eyes shutting tight, wincing at how awkward you sound. Billy kisses your lips, his hands finding your skin under your t-shirt. 

“Oh yeah?” He asks, against your lips, teasingly. “Wanna make you feel good too, princess.” 

“I just- never did it before.. I’m worried I’m gonna be really bad at it…” you try to explain. Billy’s hunched over your body, your shirt pushed up so he can kiss up the length of your torso. 

“Are you asking to suck my cock, baby?” He smiles, a mischievous look in his eyes as he gazes up at you. A shy, embarrassed smile spreads across your face and you shrug. 

“Yes, I guess so,” you reply, a little coy. 

“Fuck, princess,” he groans, connecting his lips to yours once more. He slips his hands into the back pockets of your jeans, squeezing your ass. While simultaneously, he moves to kneel on the beg, pulling you up to rest on his thighs as without breaking the kiss in one fluid motion. Your legs wrap around his torso. “Can’t just say things like that…,” he continues, his voice in a low whisper. His hands slide up your back, feeling the soft skin under your shirt. 

“Can you take this off for me, baby?” he asks, and you abide. He holds you steady as you pull the shirt over your head and toss it to the floor. You lean down and reconnect your lips to his. You rest your hands on his shoulders, bunching up his shirt in your fists- wanting to peel all the layers away. 

“Fuck,” he smirks. “Someone’s needy… aren’t you, Princess?” You can’t even find it in you to care that he’s teasing you, you just want to see more of him. He helps you pull the shirt away, revealing his perfectly toned chest.  

He lays back, pulling you down with him so now you’re on top. Straddling his waist and sitting up as you  unhook your bra, you look down at him. There’s a cheeky grin on his face as he literally rests his arms behind his head, and his eyes shamelessly look you up and down and you can feel the large bulge in his jeans pressing against you. The idea that he’d been the only one to see you like this had him painfully hard. 

“Shit, baby,” he draws out, eyes still grazing over your whole body as you let your bra fall onto the bed.  His knuckles trail up the curve of your side, and he bites his lip. “Look at you,” he marvels, “so fucking pretty.” You lean down to kiss his again, your tongue slipping into his mouth.  

Still with your lips on his, you wiggle out of your jeans- now wishing you wore something cuter than just your plain cotton panties. It’s not like you had anything much sexier anyways. But you realize that doesn’t matter much when Billy moans against your lips as his fingertips graze the little wet spot that’s formed on the fabric. 

“You wet for me, Princess?” He teases, his fingers now teasing the length of your slit from over your panties. “Are you wet thinking about this cock in your mouth?” His words make you whimper and then he grinds his hips up to yours- the sensation making you practically cry at how good it felt to relieve some of the friction. He grins, biting his lip- loving the way you’re reacting to him. “Gonna have to take these off,” Billy muses, glancing down at the jeans still on his body. He leans up, kissing your cheek, your jaw, your neck, your chest… while he unbuttoned his jeans to make it easier for you to tug them down. Your eyes widen when his cock hits against his stomach as he kicks his jeans and boxers off in one motion. 

You experimentally wrap your hand around his base, shyly looking for him to give some instruction. He smirks and then rests his larger hand over yours, guiding you through how to jerk him off. The feeling has him quickly falling back against the pillows, his eyes closed shut from the pleasure it’s bringing him. Seeing him react to your touch like this only encouraged you, wanting to see him fall apart. 

You don’t really know what you’re doing, but you decide it’s best to just follow your instincts- Billy would tell you if he didn’t like something, you’re sure. When his eyes meet yours again you wink, playfully and he thinks he might die. You watch him watch you from under your eyelashes as you finally dip your head down and press soft kisses to his aching tip. 

Billy hates when things are slow. He’d always been the type to want the instant gratification- for him, sex was just about the chase to feel good, never the act itself. He’d go hard and fast, wanting whoever he was with to just do the same. Fast and rough was safe- it’s was impersonal. It kept him guarded and in control. This? This was so different than any other time a girl had blown him and he worried he’s gonna blow his load early from how scaringly intimate it feels. 

A girl has never sensually made out with his cock, it’s always been fast and messy and loud. Going slow like you’re going- taking time to explore him and learning what feels good makes his heart swell. Your hesitant kitten licks and your tongue grazing along his slit like you want to taste absolutely everything he’s going to give you makes him want to spill his seed all over your pretty face right this second. His hands tightly grip at his sheets and your name falls from his lips like a prayer. 

“You’re so fucking good at this, baby,” he praises, his hand coming up to cup your face. Cupping your cheek, he gently leads you down so your lips fully wrap around his cock and fuck, it just feels too goddamn good. His hand moves to hold back your hair but he refrains from pushing you down, not wanting to scare you away. He didn’t think he could be this delicate and it’s scaring him as much. But god, you looked so fucking pretty with your lips around his cock. 

Hollowing your cheeks, you do your best to fit his whole length in your mouth until it hits the back of your throat. Moaning contently when you’re able to relax your mouth around his length, creating a steady rhythm as you bob up and down. This feels right, and it feels good looking up at Billy and watching him look at you like this. He bites his lip, and sweat forms on his brow. His chest rises and falls unsteadily as he tries to catch his breath. “Oh fuck…,” he drawls as he feels your tongue swirl around his length. 

Switching it up, you pull away and a long strand of your saliva connects your lips to his cock. He stares at it, mouth agape and he thinks it’s maybe the sexiest thing he’s ever seen as you begin to pump his cock in your hands again. When the line breaks, it lays on your chin and he swipes it away with his thumb for you with wide eyes. 

“God, baby- shit, I’m so fucking close..” 

He pulses in your hand and his entire body shakes as he finishes, making a mess on your hand and his torso. He swears you made him see fucking stars, and his entire body falls limp- sinking back into the mattress. He can’t catch his breath and his mind is spinning at just how good that felt. It rattles him to his core- like how everything else you do seems to affect him in ways he never thought possible. 

“Was- was that okay?” You ask, resting back on your heels. He opens his eyes to you hesitantly, and experimentally  sucking his cum off your fingers and he thinks he’s going to go into shock. He throws his head back again, not even able to bear looking at the sight of you right. He couldn’t, he was already too overwhelmed. 

“Uh, yeah,” he manages to croak out unsteadily. He can’t think straight. He reaches over for some tissues and begins to clean himself up. He doesn’t miss the way the wet spot on your panties has gotten larger and fuck if he doesn’t want to do something about it. It’s all already been too much. He can’t let himself fall down into whatever this is. “That was, uh, that was- um, that was really good…” 

You don’t interpret Billy’s reaction as a good thing. You try to hide it as your face falls, worried you did something wrong as he begins to pull away again- like every time you think you’re getting closer. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware of everything- the fact that you’re practically naked, the fact that you’re sweaty and feel gross, the fact there’s still an ache between your legs that now feels almost painful as you realize your actions probably won’t be reciprocated. He’s not able to offer the reassurance that you need and you don’t have the courage to ask for it. He kisses you, pulling up his boxers and his jeans as he gets up. He heads to the bathroom, leaving you alone with your anxiety and your spiraling thoughts.

TAGLIST: @fandom-princess-forevermore @sunshinepeachx @downbear @fanlifeaamt @exploding-bonbon @losingmygrasponreality @skiddypiddy @andvys @djodirt @moonlightsolo @kyga01 @sheisjoeschateau @melaninjhs @v3lv3tf0x @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @sunshine-mrk @danymunsonharrington @mrsjellymunson @fanficfantik @the-unforgivenn @punkrockmlchael @spookysace24 @crispystarfishhottub @4billy @let-love-bleeds-red@supersecretsamm @e-c-a-r-l-a-t-e @melvin333 @mmmunson

[sillygoofyqueer]

You know what I'm in your inbox for...

Can I get some JiuYuan route for LeviathYuan? Pretty please??? 🥺

It absolutely does not need to contain cucking I prommy. If everyone is happy I'm... also happy, as long as it also contains JiuYuan 🤭

For you, my first wife, of course I have a JiuYuan route for our freaky demon Leviathyuan <3<3<3 Before I start, I want to mention that this route of Liu Qingge finding Leviathyuan occurs before Luo Binghe comes to Cang Qiong Mountain, so do with that what you will (also, I can make another route as well if you want Shen Jiu being the one to find him :3) Okay, so I kind of set up a perfect JiuYuan route because I was expecting this ask to come eventually - sooner rather than later - and it starts with Leviathyuan and Shen Jiu being in close contact with each other because Shen Jiu is of course trying to teach the demon human language so it can properly communicate its feelings and needs. (He's not doing it for those reasons exactly, he is once again doing it because he was goaded into it.) Of course, Shen Jiu hates people being in his private space, so they start out their lessons in Qing Jing's library, because it makes perfect sense for such things to take place there. However, Shen Jiu notices that there is an influx of disciples from other peaks using the library around the same times he hosts these lessons (he can only assume that they know about the schedule through rude and invasive means (they asked the Qing Jing disciples)), so it's obvious that they're spying on the lessons between him and the demon for some fucking reason, and he gets increasingly pissy about this matter as this goes on. However, he's not going to back down and throw them out of the library, because that would imply that he was doing something wrong. Meanwhile, Leviathyuan doesn't have a clue what's going on with these strange humans, but he does notice that the scowly green robed human becomes more tense and agitated whenever there are tiny humans with robes that aren't green in the place where they store all the paper with symbols on them. We all know that aquatic animals, as well as communicating through sound and such, can actually communicate through body language as well, so Leviathyuan is honed in on such things almost naturally, and that's how he's been getting a read on the people around him. He views Shen Jiu as a possessive, territorial animal and adjusts his own body language accordingly so that he isn't viewed as a threat (becoming small and unassuming). Shen Jiu, who is a possessive and territorial person, feels rather at ease around Leviathyuan because he's rather pathetic out of water, all curled up and naturally smaller due to his strange posture (imagine the animalistic body language actually soothing you, L!!). While he views Yue Qingyuan's patheticness as being pity or guilt driven, Leviathyuan has no reason to react in such a way, and therefore can only be natural! (Note: he has not talked to Mu Qingfang about Leviathyuan's humane biology, his opinion would completely change about the demon being pathetic and weak if he knew). While it's obvious to Leviathyuan that the scowly human is uncomfortable with people encroaching on his space and knows how to adjust to that, nobody else seems to, and so he takes it upon himself to find a way to get the intruders out of Scowly Human's territory. How? He acts nervous and works worse around those wearing different coloured robes, therefore giving Scowly Human a reason to kick tiny humans off his peak because they're affecting Leviathyuan's learning, which is counter-productive!! Shen Jiu notices this - it's obvious in how Leviathyuan was absolutely fine with disciples from other peaks being around until Shen Jiu became visibly more frustrated (he knew from the start but he didn't realise why until later) - and is rather...flattered. Of course, he's offended that the demon thinks that he needs its help or anything to feel at comfortable on his own peak, but he's never had someone go out of their way to appear weak and vulnerable to others for nothing but his benefit. It's a strange feeling. It's irritatingly nice. (Let me know if you want me to keep yappering about this one, because I veered completely off my notes and am having fun with this one!)

[sos717]

Hey again,

First I want to preface by saying, I am amazed at the response from my last post. I’m so happy to see so many messages that say it helped them understand it better, butttt…

Since the last post had gained allot of attention, so did my inbox lol, and the asks. I’m going to try and go over the main points I saw allot of you guys asking me and hopefully we can move on from there and clear things up.

A really big question I got funny enough was,

“okay I understand but how do I manifest”

lol you guyssss, I’m not gonna bash anyone because I really do understand the drastic change from dropping the reliance we have on the way things APPEAR to be, and swapping it to relying on ourself for trust, but I will say, what I write is what I’ve already lived through, I wouldn’t give anyone this information if it hadn’t worked for me, and that’s means I’ve shown myself the way this all works, HUNDREDS of times, with an insane variety of topics and aspects of my life, so when I say, please please try to READ the content and truly recognize what it means, I mean it in a way that is with complete certainty, because I’m not just telling you a practice that you pick up at one point of life and either get it or don’t get it.

I’m showing you reality

(oooo I’m already getting excited)

So, how can manifestation be explained?

Let’s take a look at all the aspects of experience when we talk about manifestation, because after all, we are here to choose our experience, but this is actually where our first point starts, you are always choosing the experience. Let’s look at this section first.

We all know, whether we come from LOA (Both kinds) or just have the general idea of manifestation/energy, etc, there is always at some point the topic of source.

And what you’ll notice is, every practice, method, technique, ritual, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS puts YOU as the focal point. Do you truly think this is coincidence? Is it a coincidence that a vision board is something that you look at? Is it a coincidence that affirming or visualizing is something YOU do? Is it a coincidence that scripting, writing a note, whispering in the air, everything you could possibly think of always has to be something you initiate? No absolutely not.

What I just described is incredibly important for you to understand, and yes I will get to the aspect of feelings how to move forward in life while activating new stories and ideas, but when I say I regret not taking the time to truly understand how IT WAS ABOUT ME BEING SOURCE, I really mean it.

We get so caught up in experiencing and needing and feel overwhelmed by the shit everyone has programmed us to believe which always ends up being limiting.

But one thing that is so badly flawed is that there is never and in depth look at what it means to be source.

I mean this should be the main focus of manifestation, the fact that you are source, but because we become so focused on the world, we turn away from the most important aspect of experience. What I’m about to explain actually goes far beyond right now, it goes ALLLLL the way back…

There is only one source, going back to the beginning of the entire universe, can you try to imagine what’s there? You’d probably come up with just a vast nothingness, but at the same time, you’d be able to recognize that there had to have been something to introduce all of experience right?

Well let’s do this together, let’s imagine the moments before the universe was initiated, in this formless, void, yet no dimensions, no description, no sign of anything actually, but definitely something, some type of thing that has to be here, from which reality takes course.

I think you can see where we’re going, all that is there, is this presence, no identity or sign of personality, but absolutely there. This is source. “Wait then how am I source” you might askkkk, well okay let’s find out how you ARE this source.

When I ask “are you aware” and you of course say yes, I need you to go ahead and find out where the answer yes came from. And not just, “it came from me”, yes we know, but find it, trace the idea back to its origin.

Your going to come up with what you can’t describe

The answer of you being aware of your own existence comes from, a formless nondimensional space, it has no identity, it has no name, it has no appearance, no attributes at all, you could almost mistake it for a void, but as you sit there, coming “face to face” with this empty space that all of your claims, all of your ideas, all aspects of your identity come from, there’s something that is present. It is a presence. It is not a thing, but from this comes absolutely anything and everything that you claim to be true about the world, about experience, about your identity, etc.

That silent presence is source, but more importantly it’s your true identity, the real you.

So what is all of this then? How do we explain the experience part of this?

Let’s speed this up a bit

Now, this part might get a little complicated if you don’t take some time to understand it, like pleaseeee take your time and re-read it a hundred times if you have to.

So, there are a few aspects that stem from source, one of these being perception, and another being sensations, we don’t need to get into the details too hard for these to so I just want you to understand it as “Sense-Perception”. This is just a fancy way to describe the WAY we experience reality, NOT REALITY ITSELF, VERY IMPORTANT.

Feeling, Tasting, Touching, Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, and whatever else you can think of (I think that’s all) ARE FILTERS. It is through the limitations of this filter that you experience your own being, conciousness.

I need you to imagine source, there is no perceiving no attributes, just a vast nothingness, it is full of life and energy which is the starting point for all of existence, but it is not a singular thing.

This is knowing. The very simple effortless thing that you are. From knowing comes absolutely everything and anything.

Let’s take white teeth as an example. So you now know, “white teeth”. However, this is just that, just knowing it, not perceiving it, not touching, not hearing, none of that. But I need you to know that this is infinitely more above any sense or really just anything to ever exist for that matter because it’s source, it’s you.

Now here comes the magic

What would be the result if we added Sense-Perception into/onto knowing? If you not only knew “white teeth” but also saw it? Also heard it? Also could smell, taste, touch, it? Could feel it?

You get what we call the world, no?

You see, the ways we perceive source/ourself is like a VR headset, or glass, or a sheet, and once it’s added to the equation, whatever it is that source is activating/manifesting as, is then experience by source THROUGH/WITH perception.

The part that can be confusing is addressing what currently is perceived. Well, it’s incredibly simple.

We’ve been conditioned into thinking that the senses activating knowing, this is literally just false to begin with because we don’t require senses to know.

For example, you opening your bank account and seeing a balance IS NOT THE REASON to activate the idea “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m can’t overspend”, don’t believe me? then explain why your able to think the same things without looking at your bank account?

If it truly was seeing your bank account that validated the idea, then why are you capable of even knowing anything related to your money story without looking at your bank statements?? It should not be possible without the validation of the senses right?

You shouldn’t be able to think about how poor you are when you’re in the shower, at work, before you sleep.

But it’s possible because what you know is in no way associated or reliant with what is seen. And having the information about what source is should make you hesitant to ever activate a story that doesn’t please you again. You are too comfortable in the cycle your in. I’m sorry if that’s a little harsh.

If we go back to perception being the filter that source experiences its own activity with, you realize that the only thing that ever changes is what’s known. The world is a SIDE EFFECT of VIEWING whats known, LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.

YOU ARE SOURCE, YOU CREATE, THE WORLD IS WHAT HAPPENS AS A SIDE AFFECT OF PERCIEVING WHAT YOU ARE.

This has absolutely nothing to do with making or forcing things to change, the only thing that changes is you! This is about the way reality works. Not a how to guide on “getting it all”.

Now for the next part, THIS DOES NOT TURN OFF.

When I say that the senses do not create but, YOU DO, that means always!!! So looking in the mirror and complaining about your skin or eye color or nose is not going to ever activate any idea, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE ACTIVATING. Don’t you see?? ITS COMING FROM YOU.

The senses CANT create, they SENSE, they perceive what reality is being! They perceive what IS KNOWN.

They can never ever ever be the cause for what is known. Looking at your teeth cannot create the knowing “my teeth are so yellow” BECAUSE YOU DO. YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED YOU CAN DO THE SAME UNDERWATER, IN THE SHOWER, IN BED, IN THE E.R, WHATEVER IT IS YOU KNOW IS WHAT REALITY IS, AND THIS IS WHATS PERCEIVED, The side affect of percieving “my teeth are yellow”?? Well you tell me what that would be? EXACTLY.

Understand it like this, if the story or idea I’m about to activate right now could be seen, heard, touched, or just perceived in any way, what would it look/sound like? Do you see what this is now?

When you realize that you are source, allot of things start making more sense, the teachers and videos saying it’s all about you, start making sense, but they make it sound like the world is something you CHANGE as if it exists on its own, NO!

The world is the result of what KNOWING is, when it’s perceived.

At no point does this stop being true, so when you go “my teeth are white” this is reality, this is what will be perceived, but if you decide to go into habit and activate “my teeth are yellow”, there is no different process, this is what will be perceived. There is no bias to reality.

The starting point will always and can only be what’s known, the rest is automatic, as it’s always been, the only difference is, you have been activating things that you don’t like, and because this is source, all that will be perceived is what you know, so if it’s about money, or love, business, school, understand, THE MOMENT, you know something, IT IS REALITY!!!! IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Don’t confuse the world as if it is its own entity or source, no, it’s a side effect or perceiving, NOT something you’re trying to control.

I want you see it for yourself, this information will not be of any use if you don’t see for yourself.

Please please remember. What’s perceived is not a story, it is not an idea, it’s not telling you what reality is, it’s only that, perception, it’s the same thing as looking at a brick wall for information, it cannot and will never be source, notice where the stories activate when you react to the world, and recognize that it’s something that you know, a feeling cannot stop knowing, NOTHING CAN, ITS SOURCE!

Okay, I’m sorry if this is a bit confusing at first, this is a very alternate view of the way we’ve been taught what reality is, and I know you might have allot more questions, I’m more than willing to answer them, but till then, please read this post or my past post again

(Yes im rambling, im very sleep deprived rn)

[trustmypoison]

SVT when you simp for them

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘Hiiii, just saw Ateez and simping for them, can I request same for Seventeen please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Thank you very much🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻’

Seungcheol

Have you ever seen someone try to look smug while also blushing profusely? That’s what this would be like. He wants to be cool and say, “Of course, you love me,” but any smugness he tries to inject into the statement falls flat because of how pink his cheeks are. 

Jeonghan

Genuinely smug. If there’s any blushing at all, it’s so minimal that you might not notice. He’s absolutely going to egg you on and be like, “Uh huh, and what else?” I fear he’d be smug either way, so you might as well tell him what you really think. 

Joshua

Giggly. Not even blushing, just giggling at how sweet he thinks it is. He’ll dish it out as well - in five minutes though. He’s gotta soak up all of your lovely compliments first. 

Jun

A whiner!! Doesn’t know how to take it so he groans and tells you to stop fangirling from behind his hands as he covers his face. But if you do stop, he might peek between his fingers because he wasn’t serious. Keep going, he just can’t look at you. 

Hoshi

Melts into a puddle. I mean, just curls up into a ball against you because he’s overwhelmed by the compliments. Blushing with a big smile. Joshua needs five minutes but Hoshi needs hours to be able to properly return the simping. 

Wonwoo

Totally entertained by this. Will not blush and might not even crack a smile, doing his best to look unaffected. But he thinks you’re cute and your words are sweet. An underwhelming reaction of “Mhm, whatever you say,” but I’m not sure what you expected here. 

Woozi

Another one that’s secretly entertained by this, but whereas Wonwoo’s reaction is flat, Woozi actually does a great job of looking annoyed. He’ll be like, “Why are fangirling like this right now??” He’ll fold if you seem worried that he’s genuinely bothered, but he otherwise will act like your compliments are physically painful. 

DK

A shy baby. He has so much to say usually, but he’ll be a little flustered and soft-spoken when you do this. Later, when you’ve settled down, he’ll ask if you really meant all the nice things you said. Tell him yes!!!!

Mingyu

I think he’d genuinely be pretty smug to start, but the longer it goes on he might start to feel sort of flustered. I think he likes words of affirmation and this really feeds that need. But I think one of his preferred love languages to give is physical affection, so this just ends in him wrapped around you. 

Minghao

I think he’d be one of the few who doesn’t get flustered or shy, but at the same time isn’t super smug either. I think he’d just soak up your attention with a sweet, slightly entertained smile. He won’t fish for more simping or anything, but he’ll let you go on as long as you feel like. 

Seungkwan

Did you ever think that simping would end in a fight?? Not serious, of course. But for every statement you have, he’s going, “And what about YOU!!” Aggressive as it is, there’s a lot of sweetness in how vehemently you both simp after one another. 

Vernon

A long stare and a few blinks, and finally, a simple nod and an “okay.” I hope you didn’t expect anything more. I mean, he’s delighted by the compliments but I just don’t see him being expressive about it. He takes your simping and ranting in stride. 

Chan

This is an ego boost for him for sure, but he can’t let you know that. He’ll listen and slowly nod, sometimes looking concerned. He’s totally joking when he finally kisses your cheek and says, “You worry me sometimes.” 

[blackbirdsblackberries]

Addressing the Trolls 💖

Hi! I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long!! I promise I published the new chapter but for some reason Tumblr glitched and DELETED it!!

Anyway, it will be RE-uploaded soon.

I actually came on here rn to address a trend I've noticed lately in the yandere batfam tag. That being the hate and threatening anons flooding writer's inboxes.

Currently I've seen two creators post about the hate they're receiving (and I'm sure there are many others as well). I've been getting hate anons and super gross anons as well for the past week I want to say.

I'm honestly befuddled because, hello? What has any of us done for the hate? If you don't like the writing you can block, you can ignore, literally anything else.

For me especially, I've been getting a lot of anons assuming I'm in America and that I'm an immigrant - I'm not either of those things. If you are going to insult me or send hate asks the least you could do is not assume things like that.

I also want to state that my sexuality is literally no ones business. I shouldn't have to say this but, no, you cannot r a p e the "lesbianism" out of me! Thats actually super messed up!

I'm 100% sure these are just trolls who have nothing better to do but for anyone who has been sending hate anons to creators please do try to remember we are actual people and we do have emotions. Bully ai bots if you want to let out frustration. I find it insane that people are undermining and belittling others on Tumblr of all places.

Tumblr isn't perfect, obviously, and mean people do exist on the platform, obviously. But it is a far less hateful platform than Twitter, Instagram and TikTok.

Another thing I want to mention (one of the creators addressing his hate anons has also addressed it as well) is the fact its all anonymous. If you're going to be a horrible person with no shame then don't turn on anonymous. If you genuinely don't care about what you're saying and how you're treating people who have done nothing to you then turn it off.

Sorry! I didn't mean to ramble! I won't be addressing all the hate asks but I'll post a couple after this for reference/answering them to the best of my ability.

[hencheri]

dhdjjdjfj okieee cuz i need heeseung more than i need air. or wtv the hoes say /lh. i can’t be coherent ever but especially when it comes to him he makes me so fucking mad /pos

ok but like. trying not to be tooo vague but i feel like he’d be mean just for the sake of being mean. i’m not sure if this is how u see him or not… n feel free to disagree ofc!!! but i love the idea of him purposefully taunting u and humiliating u. i’m wondering i guess… if i were to actually ask smth and not just ramble. in what scenarios do u think noncon would likely occur with him? tell me if this doesnt make any sense :(

i see him in so many ways like. def frat boy noncon, putting smth in ur drink at a party, u made it easy for him, n he’s going to share u with his friends cuz ur slutty pussy is just too good to keep to himself. i’ve also thought about like street racer/biker hee and ur a rival competitor n he thinks racing against a girl is beneath him n u should be taught a lesson about where ur place is. taking a man’s cock n the only words coming out of ur mouth should be his name. i just. think heeseung doesn’t take no for an answer. /pos. thank u for coming to my ted talk /lh

18+ mdni.

warnings: noncon, drugging.

no i can definitely see him mean! like it's just natural to heeseung, but he's particularly harsh with you... maybe you're not very smart and it drives him MAD. he just can't get his head around the fact that someone can be so dumb and he can't help but be mean to you because damn, you deserve it. i feel like he would scoff and roll his eyes at everything you say, and when you notice it you immediately feel embarrassed and stop talking so much. heeseung just has this effect... like you really want him to appreciate you, but unfortunately for you, he kinda dislikes you.

omg, frat boy!heeseung sharing you... he hates you, but he's so attracted to you and you just bring out his bad side so easily. he puts something that makes you so sleepy in your drink, he pretends to be worried, taking you upstairs to his room, but little do you know, his friends are coming as well... probably only jake and jungwon because they'd be into that lol, using you for literally so long, and you can't fight back, too tired :/ but my sick side wants heeseung to spare you when comes his turn, feeling too guilty, leaving you absolutely destroyed in his bed.

racer!heeseung makes me think of car sex and... i can just imagine him forcing himself on you in a dark alleyway, his car parked in the mud, rain pouring... the front of your body is sprawled on the backseats, wrists locked together behind your back with one of his hands, pounding into you from behind. he gets all of his frustration out because how dare you think you're better than him? your place is at his feet, serving him and ready for him to use how he pleases.