#actually i just finished town of babylon

[bucatinibucatini]

books sitting on my desk that i’m in the middle or beginning of reading (bottom book is a dbt workbook i’m borrowing from sister) because i love to buy and own and have books

[b-else-writes]

The Great CLAMP Re-Read Part 8: Legend of Chunhyang

Part 1 (RG Veda) | Part 2 (Man of Many Faces) | Part 3 (Tokyo Babylon) | Part 4 (Duklyon) | Part 5 (Clamp Detectives)| Part 6 (Shirahime)| Part 7 (X)| Part 9 (Miyuki-chan)

The RG Veda historical epic that never was, or better off cancelled? While X is widely cited as CLAMP's first unfinished work, there is actually another 1992 stillborn CLAMP work, before we can finally move onto 1993 in the CLAMP timeline. To be a broken record, I had no idea this existed! It’s unsurprising: only 3 chapters were ever published (plus 1 drama CD), before the magazine folded and CLAMP decided to cancel the project (yeah yeah they said they’d love to finish it. They’re liars).

Unlike many of their other discontinued early works, this one actually got a tankoban release, and Tokyopop did the now out-of-print English translation in a single volume with no extra art. Plus, I was hesitant about approaching a work of Korean folklore written by 4 Japanese women, given the history, and my fears were not unfounded. So I’m content that I put off getting the physical release for my collection. Spoilers (?) ahead.

Synopsis: In Ancient Korea, a brave young maiden called Chunhyang, opposes the injustices of the corrupt governing Yangbans. When her mother, a magic-wielding mudang, is kidnapped by their town's Yangban, Chunhyang is aided by the lecherous Mongryong, the Amhaeng’eosa, a secret government agent. Together, the two set off on adventure that will take them across Korea to liberate towns and discover the truth of Chunhyang's father.

The Story: I wrote all of that out, but the reality is what actually exists of Legend of Chunhyang is two chapters and a flashback. It's very hard to judge a story that hasn't settled in or moved further than the set up for the adventure. What we got is entertaining enough - chapter 1 is the inciting incident where Chunhyang’s mother dies and she teams up with Mongryong, 2 has them liberate a mystical flower village with the help of a rain god and twin mudang, and 3 is a flashback that reveals Chunhyang’s dead father was important and killed for defying the Yangban. It’s very Robin Hood, and moves at a good pace despite being pretty standard YA fantasy. Speaking of, I don’t think CLAMP realises most Korean towns back then would have been agricultural. Why does Chunhyang live in a huge villa doing nothing all day? I want my peasant hero, not a disgruntled pseudo noble.

The skeleton for the entire story is pretty obvious (bring revolution to Korea) and I’d definitely be curious to see more of it. But I’m also not sad we got nothing more. It’s a pleasant afternoon distraction.

The Themes: Don’t be a bully and tyrannical governments are bad and must be resisted - as long as they’re Korean (side-eyes that Rising Sun flag in CLAMP Campus Detectives. Ah, Japanese nationalism). It’s 3 chapters, that’s all I can glean.

The Characters: Chunhyang fits heavily into the CLAMP stock heroine: young, spunky, strong, pure-hearted, and athletic, shojo ingenue. Still, while she’s nothing new, I enjoyed Chunhyang. CLAMP has the formula for the fun, palatable heroine we love to see win, and I’m hardly immune. Mongryong was more bland to me, falling hard into that 90s era shojo hero who gets comically beaten up by his love interest, but always suavely swoops in to save her. It’s nostalgic, he’s hot, but that’s it. Maybe with time they would have defined themselves like RG Veda’s cast did (also archetypes), but there’s just so little!

The crumbs of minor characters are equally stock - one dimensional cackling villains, and pure beyond belief good guys. Mongryong’s tiger spirit was my favourite because I love all cats. It’s really the charm of Chunhyang that carries us above - she’s a good balance of fierce and endearing.

The Art: Legend of Chunhyang is interesting in that chapter 1 was brush inked due to their experience on Shirahime, but the remaining art was done with marker pen. The result is chapter 1 feels a bit unpolished, with backgrounds being mostly chunky blobs and quick lines in a way I found distracting. 2 and 3 work much better, with thick swirls of soft magic and flowers, giving Chunhyang a slight distinction from their other early 90s work. The panel work is quite conservative unlike RG Veda, very rarely having dynamic spreads, but satisfactory and readable. Chapter 2 is a standout of circling dragons and flowers. Everyone is gorgeously dressed and pretty. It’s not the best of CLAMP, but it’s nice and elevates the material.

Questionable Elements: While certain CLAMP podcasts have praised CLAMP for essentially rewriting the folktale to make Chunhyang more active - why would you even choose to adapt that Korean folklore then, if your intention is to make a generic Robin Hood sword and fantasy series that has zero to do with the original culture? You could just set it in feudal Japan! It feels very distasteful to deliberately choose Korea as a setting of barbaric unending tyranny that needs correcting. Especially given Japan’s history in “modernising” Korea.

On top of that, there’s a clear lack of research done - a lot of the outfits and hair accessories are inaccurate. Chunhyang’s mother’s decision to kill herself than risk dishonour is also incredibly Japanese (and notably doesn’t exist in the original). I have to cry foul because if you’re going to actually set this in a real ancient Korea, you should do your research. I’m not saying CLAMP are anti-Korean but they show a disappointing lack of care and bias.

Also. How old is Mongryong if Chunhyang is 14. Answer quickly, CLAMP.

Overall: Listen, RG Veda 2.0 this is not. Rather than an imaginative, fantastical, sweeping epic, Legend of Chunhyang is built on very familiar tropes and stock characters with a dose of cultural insensitivity and bias. It doesn’t even have a proper narrative arc, existing more as a “what if” than an almost masterpiece. It’s alleviated by the sheer charm of Chunhyang herself, its brisk, entertaining pace, and the enjoyable art. But it’s no great literary tragedy that it was never finished, and I’d really only recommend it to diehard CLAMP fans who want a quick, pleasant escape on a fantasy adventure.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1216: Small Beach Crush (Sonic X SSBU)

4:42 p.m. at the Smash Local Beach..........

A race has been going on in the bright, sunny day at the Smash Beach, that specializes in Extreme Gears founded and provided by the Babylon Rogue Inc.

The two racers, Sonic The Hedgehog and Jet the Hawk, appear to neck to neck towards the Finish Line, in the last lap.....That is until the final racer swoops in outta nowhere, with more vigorous speed, sweeping both of his competition off their boards and onto the sandy ground, much to their surprise.

The crowd begins to roar in applause the very moment he crossed that Finish Line before sticking a gnarly, perfect landing on the ground. It wasn't long before a Shy Guy announcer runs in to announce the winner helping him holding his own arm up, which just so happens to be...I...

Announcer: The Winner of the 5-Lap Riders Prix.....FUUUUNKY KOOOOOOONG!!!

'Even More Applause'

Sonic: (Groans a Bit While Getting Himself Back on his Feet) Darn...... The folks weren't kidding when they say he's the Best Extreme Gear rider of this part of town.

Jet: (Sighs While Getting Up From the Ground as Well) The guy's a natural born surfer. He can make even the most uncontrollable board a cakewalk to ride on.

Sonic: (Begins to Stretch his Back Forward Befire Stretching his Arm Up Next) Welp! If that's the case, I'm gonna that means I gotta to work a little harder next time. Can't afford to be in 2nd Place forever, you know?

Jet: (Scoffs While Rolling his Eyes) More like 3rd Place...

Sonic: (Turns to Jet With a Raised Eyebrow) Pardon?

Jet: You heard me! 3rd! The place- (Points at Sonic) YOU are currently in!

Sonic: Oh get real. (Starts Butting Heads with Jet) I clearly crossed that line before you could even get close to me!

Jet: Big talk for a guy who's tip of his board Isa millimeter shorter than mines!

Sonic: Oh, so we're measuring boards now?

Jet: If it proves that I'm better than you, why the hell not at this point?

Sonic: (Shrugs) Alright. (Forms a Cocky Smirk on his Face) Still can't beat me in a fist fight though.

Jet: (Angrily Cracking his Knuckles at his Rival) Wanna bet? I been wanting to pulverize that stupid face of your some time now!

Sonic: (Waves Both his Hands Back to Him in a Very Competitive Fashion) Well, bring it then, Birdbrain. I ain't got all-

????: BOYS!

The rivals turns to see the Certified Moms giving both of them their collective Motherly Glares in the mid.

Samus: What the hell did we say about being civil?

Peach: This is a place for fun and relaxation.

Moms: NO. FIGHTING!

Sonic: (Sighs in Defeat Along with Jet) Yes, ma'ams......

Jet: Won't happen again.....(Turns to Sonic) Forgot how scary your moms are..........

Sonic: (Shrugs) They gotta take their jobs seriously somehow....

?????: Hey now!

The duo turns to see the winner of their race, Funky Kong, walk over to them along with the crowd, with a bright, chill smile on his face.

Funky: No need to fuss n' fight now. You both did great out there. Actually had me to workin' up a sweat just to keep up.

Sonic: (Smiles Softly at Funky) Thanks, man. Congratulations on the win.

Jet: Yeah, congrats. But uh...('Clears Throat') Who would you say is the fastest between the two of us here, hm?

Sonic: (Rolls his Eyes at Jet) Could you not waste his time asking that dumb question? The answer's obviously me.

Jet: (Glares at Sonic) Lies! It's me and everyone out here knows it.

Sonic: Yeah, keep telling yourself that you-

Funky: (Breaks Up the Potential Fighting Between Hedgehog and Bird) Hey-Hey-Hey! No more of that now. We're a the fastest here in this wicked beach time. (Holds Both Sonic and Jet's Hands Up) AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE!?

'Uproarious Cheers and Applauses'

Tails: (Watches the Crowd in the Distance With Amy and Coco Sitting Next to Him) Never thought I'd see the day someone would actually out speed Sonic in anything, but...here we are.

Amy: (Sighs Dreamingly at her Man) He may have lost the race, but he'll always be The Fastest, Most Handsomest Thing in my eyes and heart~ (Takes a Look at the Time on her Phone) What is taking Wave so long to get here? (Starts Pouting a Bit) If her boss starts picking fights with Sonic again, there's gonna be heck to pay!

Coco: You know Wave: Have to make extra sure her work is completely done before she could do anything else. (Notices Something) Ooh, speaking of which- (Points Tails and Amy to Their Swallow Friend Walking in the Distance) There she is right now. (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Looking a lot more girlier than usual......

Tails: Girlier?- (Eyes Widened at the Sudden Realization) Wait s second! Is she looking pretty for someone?

Amy: (Happily Clasps her Hands Together as Her Eyes Starts to Sparkle) A secret admirer perhaps?~

Coco: (Casually Shrugs While Forming a Teasing Smirk on her Face) It's the only reason I can think of~

Meanwhile.......

Funky: (Happily Greets Wave) Yooo, Wave, you finally made it!

Wave: Yeah, sorry it took me so long to get here. (Smiles Sheepishly While Rubbing the Back of her Head Back and Forth) You know how I am when it comes getting everything done down in the workplace....B-But I was able to catch some of your racing highlights on stream. (Starts Blushing a Bit) You were.....pretty gnarly out there, I must admit~

Funky: (Chuckles Lightly) Appericate the wicked feedback, little lady. And here I was worried that I ticked you off for outstaging your boss out there.

Wave: (Playfully Scoffs) Please. There's a lot of things that would drive me up the wall. But winning a race against Jet is definitely not one of them.

Funky: Good, good. So, now that you're out and about, what you plan on doing from here on out?

Wave: Well, I-

???: Ohhh Waveee!~

Wave turns around to see Amy giggling softly and Coco and Tails waving at her with teasing grins on each of their faces before letting out an annoyed sigh and turning back to Funky.

Wave: I have a couple of twer-I mean-('Sigh') Friends I gotta to hang out with.

Funky: (Smiles Brightly) Nice! Friends are the one thing that could help build up your character after all, especially in an awesome place like this!

Wave: (Rolls her Eyes a Bit in Annoyance) To an egregious sense maybe.....(Puts on a Small Smile on her Face) Catch you later then?

Funky: (Happily Nodded) Sure thing. Go out and enjoy yourself, Wave! You've earned it after all the work you've done.

Wave: Thanks, Funky. You too. (Walks Away)

Funky: (Watches Wave Leave Before Going Back to the Crowd) Now, which one of you crazy people are up for a game of LIMBO!!?

'Even More Applause'

Wave: (Walks Ovver to the Trio, Already Annoyed) ('Sigh') Alright. Get it all out of your systems already.

Coco: Why hello here, Wave~

Tails: Whatever do you mean exactly?~

Wave: (Glares at her Felliw Tech Friends) Oh don't even try and play the innocent card on me, you little twerps! I can tell by the look in your dumb faces that you're gonna the annoy the hell outta me over this.

Coco: (Chuckles Lightly) Hey, considering all the times you tease us on being a potential couple, it's only fair we find some way to return a flavor~

Tails: All's fair in love and harmless teasings~

Wave: ('Ugh') Whatever. (Turns to an Giddied Up Amy Rose) And what are you smiling about over there?

Amy: Oho nothing too noteworthy!~ Just admiring the fact that a bookworm like you is having yourself a school girl crush~

Wave: (Was About to Ipen her Mou-)

Amy: Don't even try to deny it. (Forms a Bit of a Teasing Smirk of her Own) We seen the way you look and talk to him over there. You're in looove~

Tails and Coco hold onto to each other hands and starts making kissy noises just to get under Wave's skin.

Wave: (Comically Glares at the Duo Again) Will you cut that out!? I'm not crushing over Funky!....At...least not completely!

Amy, Coco, and Tails stares at their blushing swallow friend, unconvinced on everything she's telling them.

Wave: ('Sighs in Defeat') Okay, so maybe I do have a tiny bit of mushy feelings for him these days. We've been working together on a few business projects as of late. Didn't care for him at first glance, but the more days we work, the....(Starts Blushing a Bit) More I started to enjoy his company a bit. He nice, compassionate with his craftsmanship and profession, and a lot more intelligent than I gave him credit for. He's incredible~

Amy: And just your tyyyyype?~

Wave: ('Sigh') I dunno. Maybe? He's a lot more laid back and outgoing, despite him not being a fan of going out on adventures all that much, oddly enough. Meanwhile, I'm as boring as they come, or as Storm would irritatingly put it...."A Killjoy".

Tails: (Gives Wave a More Reassuring Smile Along with Coco) Come on, Wave, you're none of those things.

Coco: Yeah. I mean, you can be a real pain sometimes, but you're still cool be around in our books.

Wave: (Turns to Coco With Genuine Surprised on her Face) Wow. That.....might be the most nicest thing you've ever said about me yet, kid. Thanks.

Coco: No problem. Don't expect this to be a recurring thing though. (Smirks Again) You're still a nagging know-it-all in my eyes.

Wave: (Smirks Back at Coco) ('Hmph') And you're still a half pint brat.

Coco: Better than being bossy.

Wave: Better than being annoying.

Coco: Better than being an eyesore.

Wave: Takes one to know one, brat.

Coco: Hey, I am PLEASANT to be around!

Wave: Could've fooled me.

Coco: Yeah, well....(Continues Arguing with Wave)

Tails: (Sighs While Watching his Two Tech Friends Bickering With One Another Again) It was fine to see two get along while it lasted, albeit a few seconds. (Turns to See Amy Writing Something Down on her Mini Notebook) Whatcha writing over there, Amy?

Amy: A few confessional and romantic ideas. I'm gonna help make Wave's dating dream come to reality and I want you and Coco to help me.

Tails: (Gives Amy an Uncertain Look on his Face) You sure you want our help on this? We're not really that knowledgeable when it comes to anything romance related.

Amy: Yeah, but you guys know Wave way better than I do these days, so you're crucial for this operation. (Gives Tails the Sad Puppy Dog Look) Plus, I really want us to spend more time together these days~ I miss you-

Tails: ('Sigh') Lower those eyes, Ames, we'll help out. Just.....don't expect this operation to go as flawlessly as you hoped.....Also, I missed you too.

Amy happily pulls Tails into a loving hug as they continue to enjoy their time at the beach together.

@albion-93

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

[psychewritesbs]

Sakurazuka Seishiro and his destiny as preordained by his Astrology

Or, the Astrology of a Psychopath

Happy (late) Birthday to my favorite psychopath, Tokyo Babylon’s Sakurakuza Seishiro. 

I originally planned on posting this yesterday, the actual birthday, but my internet had different plans (basically I had no internet connection). 

After my last Tokyo Babylon (TB) re-read, which happened to coincide with a Lunar Eclipse that basically screamed “SeiSub”, I started asking myself that ever-elusive-million-dollar-question that CLAMP just absolutely LOVES keeping the fandom in the dark about:

Did Seishiro love Subaru?

To be honest, I am not sure I’ve come to a concrete opinion about it. 

Even though I saw the x/1999 anime a LONG time ago and know what happens and how it happens, I am currently in the process of reading the manga for the first time--so I feel like I have an incomplete picture of the whole thing until I finish.

But in re-reading TB this time around, I caught some nuance I might have missed before.

Like...

Nuance that really got me to start asking... 

1. What’s with Seishiro’s obsession with Subaru?

2. Did Seishiro not understand that the attraction/fascination he felt for Subaru was perhaps a primitive version of love?

3. What is love? Baby don’t hurt me...

4. More importantly, can a psychopath, which Seishiro clearly is, feel love?

I’ve already shared how I was blown away to find that the Lunar Eclipse on November 19th, 2021 was Seishiro and Subaru’s eclipse. But, seeing as Seishiro’s birthday was yesterday, I decided to take a deep dive into his Astrology in search for answers to my questions. 

Boy... I was not disappointed.

FYI: I consider myself to have intermediate knowledge of Astrology that mostly comes from having listened to Astrology podcasts for long enough to experience how the “cosmic weather” (Astrology) affects my personal life. That being said, I am by no means an expert and sometimes I have no idea what any of it all means.

Still... I couldn’t resist the temptation of looking at the birth chart of a character that is a Triple Scorpio by design.

The Astrology of Sei’s birth chart

I got the exact date, time and place from here.

I just knew CLAMP was very conscious of Seishiro’s true birth date when I noticed they made him a triple Scorpio by design. Sun, Moon and Ascendant sign are all in the sign of Scorpio--in a nutshell he was born at a very specific time and place for this to happen. 

In fact, I know the age gap between Seishiro and Subaru can be controversial (especially if Sei started preying on Subaru when he was only 9 and 15ish), but even the age gap between Seishiro and Subaru is an INSTRUMENTAL and absolutely necessary aspect in their tragedy. 

This is the insane level of attention to detail that CLAMP put into SeiSub. I have this head canon of Nanase Okawa just going to town trying to find the perfect exact date and time for Seishiro to be born in order to show his inevitable and fatal attraction to Subaru.

Below are some of the interesting bits I found in Sei’s birth chart.

North Node in Gemini--Subaru is Seishiro’s destiny

Let’s start with the age gap. 

In a nutshell, the North and South Nodes of the Moon are imaginary points that traverse through the Zodiac in reverse. The nodes typically stay in each sign for about a year to a year and a half.

The North Node, or Dragon’s Head, symbolizes the Soul purpose or the destiny that we are headed towards. 

In Sei’s chart, the North Node is in the early degrees of Gemini. This is relevant because, not only does Gemini symbolize “the twins,” but Subaru’s Ascendant sign is Gemini--to me, this particular placement symbolizes that Seishiro’s destiny is Subaru.

In addition, the Pleiades star cluster (which I will address in the next section) is also really close to Sei’s natal North Node.

Finally, to put their age gap into perspective, the North Node of the Moon was in Gemini in 1975 when Seishiro was born. The last time that the North Node was in Gemini before Seishiro was born was from 1964 through 1966. The North Node did not return to Gemini until 1983/1984--at which point, he would have been 9 years younger than Subaru.

In other words, If Nanase Okawa wanted to use this particular symbol, there is just absolutely NO way around the age gap.

Sun opposite the Pleiades star cluster--the tension of opposites

I think it’s interesting that Seishiro and Subaru’s Sun signs are both water signs, and therefore form a trine (positive energy flow) with each other. However, there is something to be said about Subaru’s name and Sei’s Sun sign.

Subaru’s name is the Japanese name for the Pleiades star cluster which happens to be in Taurus, the sign directly opposite Scorpio, Seishiro’s Sun sign  (I wrote a bit more about this in the write up about the eclipse). In fact, I think they form a very tight opposition in that Sei’s Sun is at 29° of Scorpio while the Pleiades, in average, sit somewhere around 27° of Taurus.

This is relevant because we already know that CLAMP considers names to be of utmost importance.

To me, this is Nanase saying “emotionally, these two couldn’t be more in tune with one another (their Sun sings form a trine), but they also couldn’t be more opposite from each other.”

The Pleiades star cluster and the North Node in Seishiro’s 7th house--or, Subaru in Seishiro’s house of marriage and partnerships

Here we see the Pleiades star cluster and the North Node featured once again. This time, however, they are both located within Seishiro’s 7th house of marriage and partnerships.

Symbolically, the 7th house is not just about the partnerships in our life, but also about our realization of the significance of others.

Is this a coincidence or by design?

I would like to think that, given these placements, it was Subaru who taught Sei about the importance of others as something more than mere objects. Perhaps it is this placement that doomed Sei to die at the hands of the one he loved most.

4th house in Pisces--”Seeing you suffer like this, I feel nothing”

The 4th house is thought to be the ground of our being that invites self-reflection of the first 3 houses (who I am, what I value, what I think). It is a sort of portal into our inner world that teaches us about how we experience ourselves as separate from others and how we go about integrating and consolidating our sense of self.

Considering Subaru’s Sun sign is Pisces, this is a placement that I feel is important but am unsure on how to interpret.

Perhaps this placement speaks to the lack of groundlessness and dissolving nature that characterizes Pisces. Therefore, this might symbolize how Seishiro cannot tell the difference between other people and objects.

I find this a bit interesting because, as a Pisces, Subaru is the complete opposite of Seishiro in that he can’t tell the boundaries between other’s pain and his own.

Anyways, I could be way off on this one but my intuition tells me it’s relevant...

Venus in Capricorn--Seishiro is attracted to Subaru’s emotional self

In relational astrology, if I remember correctly, Venus speaks to romantic attraction. In Seishiro’s case we have Venus at 14° of Capricorn, which “happens” to be Subaru’s Moon sign. Subaru’s Venus is also conjunct his Moon, so we have a double whammy of Venusian energy “blessing” this relationship.

This is an interesting choice because, from my understanding, like the 4th house, the Moon sign symbolizes our inner, emotional nature. 

So what I am getting from this particular placement is the idea that Seishiro had some sort of attraction towards Subaru’s Capricornian inner-emotional world right from the beginning. 

Sun, Moon and Ascendant in Scorpio--does Seishiro really not feel anything?

What struck me as the most important aspect about the birth chart, however, was the choice of Seishiro being a triple Scorpio.

If everything I’ve shared up until now doesn’t feel like it was created by design and/or Hitsuzen, then this aspect takes it to a whole new level. ESPECIALLY the significance behind the numerology of the day of birth being 11/22 (or 22/11 depending on how you write dates in your country).

Seriously, remember my head canon about Nanase Okawa looking for the perfect time and day for Seishiro to be born?

That’s because in order for Sei to be a triple Scorpio, he had to be born somewhere between October 23 and November 21* (Sun in Scorpio), on a day when the Moon was transiting through Scorpio, and at the precise time of the day where the ascendant sign would be in Scorpio (I believe this is a 2 hour window). Let’s not forget that North Node in Gemini is super important!

*I understand the dates for each Zodiac sign change slightly, so this accounts for Sei’s birthday being 11/22 back in 1975. What’s interesting is that this makes him a cusper--someone born on the cusp of one sign and the next. Hokuto and Subaru are also cuspers, with Hokuto being born in Aquarius just before the Sun moved into Pisces, and Subaru being born later on during the day when the Sun was already in Pisces.

What is weird about Sei’s triple Scorpionness is that Scorpio is a water sign. The major defining characteristic of water signs is that we are deeply emotional beings (like Subaru, I am a Pisces Sun myself, I would know).

This has really made me wonder whether Seishiro truly does not feel anything. I mean... his triple Scorpio placement is the configuration from hell when it comes to one’s emotional life. Of course, this is not to say all Scorpios are toxic. Both my brother and father are Scorpios, and it is precisely because I am close to two Scorpio males that I can attest to the depth of their nature and their intensity.

In a nutshell, Scorpio symbolizes death, transitions, and sex. If you consider the Scorpion and it’s venomous sting, this also speaks to a Scorpio’s defense mechanisms.

So I kind of have to wonder about Sei here. 

Was Sei meant to be poison for Subaru? 

Or is Sei’s poison a defense mechanism?

The Astrology of a Psychopath

I did a little bit of reading on the neuroscience of a psychopath when I went looking for answers about Sei. What I found was that psychopaths do seem to have brains that have an impaired ability to regulate their emotions--empathy to be more specific.

I would have to do more research on the subject but, when it comes to Sei, I can’t help but think that an impaired ability to regulate emotions doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel them but rather, he doesn’t know how to read them. This in itself could be a trauma response to his upbringing, of which we know nothing about.

So, again, I turned to Astrology but could not find anything conclusive that would match Sei’s birth chart and any evidence of him being a psychopath (other than the triple Scorpio madness).

But why would Sei have any of the specific astrological configurations of a psychopath? That’s not what Nanase had in mind. I think that would be a whole different birth chart and I am sure she would have found it.

I think that what Nanase wanted to show in Sei’s birth chart was that Subaru is his preordained destiny. As I mentioned in my eclipse write up, they are bound to one another by the power of the stars.

Finally, I truly admire the lengths that Nanase went through to create this OTP and I am looking forward to breaking down Subaru’s chart in February of next year. 

Truly, the level of detail in Seishiro’s birth chart and how it relates to his dynamic with Subaru is nothing short of amazing. 

[noeggets]

if i had the ablity to i would write a sonic boom script ep for Blaze Silver and the babylons

Blaze ep: something about her walking over to the beach and being lost in ehdgehog village and amy finds her and they try to help her get home because she says there is a important thing she has to do and they almost dont get her home but they do and the koala guys are like she always gets lost because she has a bad since of direction and its a running joke for blaze

Silver ep: Silver just one day pops up and he has this time capsule he clams will save the world or something but his problem is he can’t get it open so he ask eggman for help because he doesn’t know hes a bad guy so eggman pits silver against sonic and friends inexchange for opening his capsule silver eventually leanrs eggman is a bad guy by sonic and friends and threatens eggman if he doesnt give him back his capsule and they beat eggman and when silver gets to him he just hands it over the end of the ep he still can’t get it open and hes all like thats okay its probably not that important and amy just pops it open and its a little piece of paper that says something we dont get to see everyone gasp at and the ep ends

The babylons ep: Jet keeps harassing the towns people by blowing wind up in the village because nobody will race him they finally get sonic to come see whats going on and Jet says he heard sonics the fastest thing alive so he wants to race in like a couple of days and sonic better show up lots of things happen to keep sonic almost from not racing him but he finally gets there and they race and its a tie they have a arguement about who won and somebody says they photo finished the race and sonic wins by like a nose or something

babylon ep part 2: Tails is going to some kind of invertors expo and meets wave there she thinks tails invention is actually impressive she doesnt like that so she sabotages his work and he loses the competition and is banned from every coming again but tails knows he did everything right with his project and suspects somebody tampered with his machine tails gets sonic to come with him to sneak into the expo place and see whats up and they dont find anything but tails still suspects something so he somehow learns wave is known for doing this where she comes from and they confront her and at first she doesnt admit it but after a while she does and steals the prize for best machine or whatever and leaves tails is unbanned and the ep ends

babylon ep part 3: Knuckles meets Storm because he got separated from his friends while they were riding their hover boards (and picking on eggman) and they actually hit it off and become good friends Knuckles gets his friends to help him help storm find his way back to his frineds but upon finding out his friends are the babylon rouges they dont wanna help him anymore but amy says they should help him get back to his friends anyway and nobody wants to so she starts giving a speech about friendship and sonics like if they help him will she stop so they help him get home and they knock on the door and jet answers and hes like “oh its you HEY WAVE STORMS BACK” and he just walks in the house and everybody is >:l cause they didn’t care about this and nobody even said thank you but Storm comes back and says thank you to knuckles only and the ep ends

Rouge ep: a beauty pageant ep and who ever is the prettiest wins some kind of gem rouge is eager to win and amy is there so we all know whats gonna happen in this ep somebody else like the walrus lady wins the pageant somehow because thats just how sonic boom be funny like that and rouge steals the gem anyway and admits she was gonna do that anyway

a Rivalry Tails and Wave ep

a ep with Storm and Knuckles that basically that spongebob ep where mr krabs didn’t want spongebob to be plankton friend

a ep where Jet and Sonic find out they have a lot in common but they cant be friends because they have a self proclaimed rivalry and it’s one of those eps where eggman is like GASP SONIC IS CHEATING ON OUR RIVALRY

Another chaotix ep where Espio and Charmy appear because why didnt we get them in boom if we got vector

a two or three part ep based off sonic adventure 2 where Eggman recruits Shadow and Rouge and they threaten to blow up a volcano if the village doesnt surrender to eggman

A bro Silver and Sonic ep where silver forgot something important and he spends the day with team sonic trying to remember because he says he thinks it’s important but it turns out he actually just forgot to close his refrigerator or something stupid like that

a ep about Blaze where her castle kicks her out because they supposively found out she isn’t the actual princess and they think its like sticks or something and blaze has to learn to be a common person so it shows sticks not fitting into the princess life and blaze not fitting into the regular person life going to meh burger and other commoner things and blaze gives up because its hard and she just wants to be a princess again but sonic or amy teach her its not so bad and shes like WELL maybe its not so bad there are fun parts to being broke but the koala people drop sticks off and say they made a mistake Blaze really is the princess and she happy to be going home

Because i said so a ep where Blaze has them over to her house because they are friends Blaze says her royal archaeologist found something and she wanted them to see it with her the thing is they found something that reveals that Jet is the prince making him her long lost brother which nobody can believe so they go tell him this and he doesnt believe it so Blaze spends the ep trying to convince him and he doesnt believe it and he annoys her so she actually thinks it would be better if it wasnt true because she cant stand him or put up with him eggman shows up because why not  together they learn they almost have the same fighting style of the whatever blazes kingdom is called and they learn maybe they could be siblings NAHH and the ep ends

A ep where Silver attempts to help the choatix solve a case paying homage to sonic rivals but silver messes everything up for the chaotix and they dont want him there anymore but espio gives him the benefit of the doubt and they stop one of the low grade villains like charlie or dave from doing something

i could go on because there was a lot of things we didn’t get in sonic boom

[calpops]

into the wind | c.h.

Based on the prompts “can’t you stay a little longer” and “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time”. Calum takes you on a drive away from the record shop and bakery. Star gazing and soft music highlight a night in which you both wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast.

1.6k words

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Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted by anyone else on any platform in any format (translations included).

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Calum’s car is becoming more and more familiar. The faux leather seats are cool against your skin and the air freshener clipped to the vent pours out artificial sweetness; something akin to vanilla. You relax into the seat and buckle in, you have no clue where you’re headed but trust Calum as he settles behind the wheel. He’s brought you home multiple times now, the drives are always quick but time stands still to finish songs parked along the curb. This time you’re headed somewhere new; destination unknown and heart hammering with excitement at the prospect of being with Calum outside of the usual fray—somewhere other than the confines of his record shop or the bakery.

He puts the key in the ignition and the engine stalls for a moment, you catch the quick blush that reddens his cheeks and look the other way, pretending to be preoccupied with something on the sidewalk. In just a moment the engine hums normally and he’s peeling out of the parking spot, headed for somewhere new with the windows rolled down and the wind a welcome guest.

The music comes on as soon as the car starts and a cassette whirs in the player; an old song you don’t know sounds between you. Calum is lost in the drive and the music and your eyes never leave him. His gaze is on the road and he has a grip on the steering wheel with one hand while the other lays palm up on the middle console. A fleeting thought of it being strategically placed for you crosses your mind and you warm at it but you shake yourself and write it off. Your nose scrunches up as your cheeks heat up and you bite your lip as he takes a quick glance at you. Your eyes avert away from his and land on the road.

“The music okay?” He asks and you nearly jump at the sound of his voice.

“It’s good,” you answer with a smile and let the music take over once more as you both lapse into silence.

You can’t help but sneak more glances at him as you drive through familiar streets. Buildings have always dominated the area, some smaller than others , some older and with more character. The town isn’t small but it is a far cry from a city. Buildings pass in a haze and as you catch another glimpse of Calum from the corner of your eye you find you can’t look away or bite back the smile on your face. He darts a quick look at you.

“What?” He asks; voice low and shy and sparking with nervous energy that crackles like lightning you once ran from—and found refuge from in his record shop.

“Nothing—it’s just—well, you were mouthing the lyrics,” you explain and feel your heart race when he blushes again.

“Oh,” he squeaks out and bites his lip. “Sorry.”

“No, no!” You’re quick to defend and deny whatever bashful or regret filled feelings he might be harboring from your observation. In a brash and bold movement you reach for his still open hand; thankful he hadn’t pulled away. “It was cute.”

He grins again and you wonder if it’s for the touch or the compliment. His fingers press into your hold as he gives you a light squeeze and makes a familiar turn. Trees begin to dot the area, fresh air makes way through the windows and the night brings you a bit further away from the usual rush.

“It’s a habit,” Calum explains. “We always have music playing at the shop. If Ashton’s not in my ear I guess I’m singing along.”

You think back to times you were able to sneak glances through the bay window in the bakery and to the register at the record shop. You recall times when Calum was alone but it seemed like he was speaking to someone—you often thought he might be on a call or taking mental inventory and talking to himself like you were apt to do in the kitchen. Now it makes sense. He was singing along to music that poured through the store. You’d only been in a few times and had a small gauge on what songs he might have been lost in. It makes you warm and wonderous. Lost in an attempt to try to put pieces of him together.

“Do you actually sing?” You wonder aloud, his phrasing of the admission leaving you wanting to know more.

He shrugs and humility dances across his face in red cheeks and a twitching nose. You find it endearing and intriguing. His confidence to sing in the record shop or the car contrasts so brightly against the humbleness of his response. You decide not to push the question any further and instead enjoy the feeling of his hand holding yours.

He makes one last turn and the town park shines in the distance from the headlights. In a moment the car is parked and Calum’s turning to face you with his free hand undoing his seatbelt. Your eyes squint as you try to figure out what’s happening. He doesn’t let go of your hand but his eyebrows raise at your inquisition and you feel your heart flutter. You glance at the park past the rope fence tied off; declaring it’s closed.

“Don’t tell me we’re breaking into the park after hours?” You ask and Calum grins but shakes his head no. You tilt your head and await an explanation.

“It’s the only place in town that doesn’t have a brick wall for a view,” he explains and reaches for his door handle which prompts you to do the same though it means losing contact with his hand.

The loss is cold and so is the night but it’s an enjoyable bite of chills that dance in the breeze as you get out and round the car to meet him at the hood. He taps the car invitingly and eases himself up to sit with plenty of room for you by his side. He offers you his hand again and helps you up; minimal distance separates you now, only the wind able to come between you. His gaze is lost to the lush green of the park and eventually tilts up to the sky that shows more of the stars than anywhere else in town. The night is clear and half a moon stares down at both of you, a sliver of moonlight sharpens his jawline and glints off his dark eyes. Music still plays from the car and for a moment everything is curtained in moonlit bliss and a soundtrack reminiscent of easy love stories.

You don’t know how much time has passed or how many songs have played when Calum inches a bit closer. You’ve been caught in conversation that feels entirely too easy and natural. Shy demeanors and walls come crumbling down when privacy and the calm of the night blankets you both. It’s different than in the record shop, it’s less awkward and rushed than in the bakery. You talk about anything but the record shop and bakery; trying to get to know different sides of each other. Everything is easy and subtle. The weight of his arm finding its way around your shoulders doesn’t feel heavy in the slightest, it’s weightless like the air and fully embracing like a summer breeze. You’re smiling as you lean into him and then you’re fully grinning and laughing as he guides you both back to lay atop the hood and find the stars with careful gazes.

You know it’s getting late but time nearly feels irrelevant when you shift and timidly rest your head against his chest. He welcomes it with an inviting arm holding you a bit tighter and a content sigh falling from his lips that cuts off a story about his dog mid sentence. You hear the way his heart skips a beat and picks back up a bit faster. You warm and he picks up talking again; filling the night with the rest of a story about how he adopted Duke. When the story ends and you lapse into a comfortable lull it’s your turn to sigh.

“It’s getting late,” you realize once more and wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast; wish it could pause like you both did to hear the end of songs at the end of your driveway.

“We should get going,” he replies but his tone harbors on a question that instills an opposing thought in your mind.

“Could we stay? Just a while longer?” You ask timidly, slowly sitting up and leaning on an elbow to meet his stare. “It’s really nice to be away from the rush of things.”

Calum nods and maneuvers to mimic your position. You’re now eye to eye and the rest of the world bleeds away in faded moonlight and distant thumps of music. It’s all replaced by the slight pout of his lips and the gleam catching dark brown as he inches closer. Everything but his hand reaching up to lightly trace your jaw fades away. He leans in and you do too; it’s a whirlwind of a paused moment when lips meet and breath is stolen. Time seemingly doesn’t move as fast when he gently caresses your face as he pulls away in a slow manner.

“Feels like I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time,” he admits and you silently agree; all those days turned to weeks catching glances through the windows and late night drives home adding up to a time that seems much too long to have gone without a kiss.

You lean forward and into the wind again, chasing another kiss and blissful moment created by a whirlwind of stalled time.

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[tropical-gothic]

To the world

Angel/Demon AU headcanons for Yasha and Sasori

@multisasori Well, it’s technically a Good Omens AU. Take a guess on who’s the demon (who is just a little bit of a good person), and who’s the angel (who is just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing).

Special thanks to @thatshipcat for fueling these headcanons and for sharing quite a few that I’ve incorporated here.

1. Angel and Angel turned Demon

Sasori started out, like all demons, as an angel. That was, until he made one fateful trip down to earth to Babylon.

“I’ve received a notice about a tower outside building regulations—-“

Said tower may or may not have been the base of a handful of demons. The angel who came to inspect may or may not have liked the aesthetic—- Sasori thinks he would look more beautiful in black, even if his beauty was already beyond mortal comprehension.

“Where is Sasori?” Yasha had long since finished his own job, and ended up stumbling on a bunch of confused people who couldn’t seem to understand each other. “He’s never been late.”

“Yasha,” rang a voice in his head, with some static— likely calling from an underground source. “Can’t make it back today. I’m being indoctrinated into demon hood. I’m going to have such awesome black wings.”

“Cool, cool, cool,” Yasha said, brushing his own white wings. They looked awesome enough to him. “Okay, you stay safe.” The static stopped and Sasori’s voice disappeared. Yashamaru sighed. “Michael’s going to be pissed.”

2. The Aesthetic

So, there are good and bad things that come with the whole demon aesthetic, Sasori realized.

Yes, black looked absolutely wonderful in him. He was drop dead gorgeous and people have even more languages now to tell him how beautiful he was. Except that he wasn’t a fan of the whole… snake skin issue. That was Orochimaru’s thing and somehow that becomes everyone’s thing as well (at least in “Akatsuki”— which Sasori also found a cool name for demons).

But it definitely wasn’t Sasori’s thing. He complained to Yasha about it often enough— even carved himself his own set of wooden clogs. Better the clogs than snake skin— /oh, okay, all shoes become snake skin when I wear it. Perfect./

Another thing Sasori liked about being a demon was the black wings that came with the indoctrination. It was his color, after all, and it made him feel larger than life— even if the wing size didn’t actually change.

Except that demons didn’t quite groom their wings the way angels did and Sasori did not take to change very well. So he still kicks down the door of whatever mortal space Yasha is occupying on earth and insist that he help Sasori comb the spots he can’t reach.

Which Yasha does, with a certain gentleness that Sasori will never admit to liking.

3. The Black Plague and the Renaissance

Somewhere during the Middle Ages, Sasori was convinced that Yashamaru was an angel of death (the last heavenly meeting he was in, they were discussing this— though no one was assigned the part… as far as Sasori could recall). Either that or he was just a strangely morbid angel.

See, the guy always hovered very close to death. Be it a war or this century’s plague that’s ravaging Europe. Not that Yasha would admit to it—- he insisted that it was because this was where people needed the “comfort of God’s love” the most. (That may be why Sasori has worked a few miracles here and there too— keep them alive long enough for them to become selfish bastards again.)

“You need to get out more,” Sasori said, poking at the bird beak of the angel’s protective suit. “Air this out so you don’t smell like death. We won’t be able to have dinner if you smell like that.” Yasha would pout— but he would miracle out of the fashion disaster and into better clothes.

Yashamaru, on the other hand, was convinced that Sasori has made it a project to influence every art movement on earth. He’s always there when the big ones happen— so Yasha knows that something will happen after the plague (that would be called the Renaissance, later on).

“Back when these black wings were still new, I used to create my own gods— and have humans create them as well. Give their offerings of gold and blood to these beautifully carved idols.”

Yasha doesn’t believe him, of course. Sasori likes to create things and finds things beautiful— in and of themselves, without the work of temptation weaved into them. Sasori wouldn’t listen, of course, so Yasha just gives a few words of encouragement every so often.

4. The Antichrist

Sasori’s biggest assignment to date was a delivery. A package of sorts, straight from hell. He was to deliver the Antichrist— the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness.

Straight forward job— get the parcel, dive around town in his new car (which matches his aesthetic and even has a name), switch it with someAn other pre-selected baby, perhaps get a tip for the fast delivery service. Well, it should have been a straightforward job. Except that Sasori took a peek a the baby.

And was, perhaps, a bit more taken by the tuft of red hair, the large green eyes, and the little arms that reached out to him, than he would like to admit.

In another part of the city, Yashamaru was predictably hovering near death once more. This time, it was the death of a mother— still young, with blonde hair, and two children waiting for her at home. There should have been a third child, but the baby has already been wheeled into the ICU, and then wheeled out looking even smaller and a lot more limp. The little one had been born too early.

Yashamaru hovered near death, and stood beside her husband— a tall and stern man who bore the heavy weight of grief. It was too early to think about the future--- if he thinks of a life without his wife, it might come true. They were both leaning against the wall by the glass window, waiting for the hemorrhaging to stop— for better or for worse, when—

“So, Yashamaru,” Sasori suddenly appeared, sticking his head through the window. “What sort of diapers do you think the Lord of Darkness would prefer?”

“I— what? Wait— Sasori, now is not the time. I’m in the middle of—— /oh, he’s so cute./“

“Right!”

For a moment, Sasori told Yashamaru about Hell’s plans to bring the Antichrist over and then eventually the end of the world. With some added gloating as Sasori was won’t to do. For a moment, Yashamaru considered what to do with the child— now that the babe was in front of him. Ethically speaking? Morally speaking? As an angel? He should have the answer to this, innately, but he doesn’t. If the Antichrist were to kill everyone—-

“Excuse me?”

For a moment, Yashamaru and Sasori forgot that there was another person standing close by.

“You’re not humans?” the human asked.

“Oh no! We’re absolutely—“

“Of course, we’re not,” Sasori shrugged. “He’s an angel, I’m a demon, and this is the antichrist.”

“Right…” Yashamaru refused to let go of his smile. Positive thoughts.

“You can do miracles,” Rasa said, pointing to labor and delivery room. “My wife. She needs to live. We’ve already lost the baby.”

Sasori leaned close to Yasha— “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I’m thinking that we’re imposing on a family undergoing the worst tragedy of their lives.”

“Worst tragedy so far—- but that’s a stupid thought. What I’m thinking is that— I take the dude’s soul back to home with me and the world gets to keep the lady.”

“Sasori! That’s deplorable!”

“He’s handsome!”

Yashamaru smacked Sasori on the side. “Focus! I don’t even know what we’re thinking about— I understand this is a great deal for this family. But the greater deal is the future of the whole world. And that’s dependent on him—“ he pointed at the little red haired baby, who was making little spit bubbles while they deliberated his fate.

“You’re right,” Sasori nodded his head. “We should adopt him.”

“What! No— “ Yasha said, more than a little taken aback. “I don’t think we’re ready for this responsibility. The finances alone— did we ever settle that diaper question? Wait! No, we can’t— we’re not allowed to intervene in human lives. Raising someone would count.”

Sasori paused. “How about indirectly?”

They both turned to the human who looked too confused to follow the conversation.

“What’s your name?” Sasori asked.

“Rasa.”

“Okay, Rasa. He can get your lady love back from the clutches of death—“

“Sasori—“

“Make it happen, Yasha. But in return, you have to take this little one.”

Rasa looked at the child. “The Antichrist?”

“Yep. And he also comes with two godfathers. If we are to prevent him from realizing his full powers which could annihilate all of us and cause the end times, then we need to be present in his life as well.”

“That’s a lot to take in,” Rasa said. Nevertheless, he took the child and cradled him. Rasa told himself that this was the child they had been waiting for— even if the circumstances weren’t as expected.

“So—“ Yasha turned to Sasori, “we’d be like godfathers, then!”

“Yasha, go save the girl.”

“Right!”

Bonus:

“You’re telling me,” Sasori said, rocking the antichrist to sleep (for his parents who were fast asleep and too tired to tend to the child). “That she thinks you’re her brother? I thought she was an only child.”

“I panicked!” Yasha said, placing the milk into a tiny cup. “She asked who I was and I couldn’t say I’m an angel… I gave her good childhood memories if that’s any consolation.”

Sasori sighed.

[gear-project]

So you have done a summary of the canon character endings for XX and how those endings lead into accent core plus. I was wondering if you can do the same for the accent core plus endings and how they lead into the future games if you haven't already done so.

Kliff Undersn_____: His story in AC+R is a flashback to just prior to the final confrontation with Justice, but he would later encounter his son Testament a few years later in 2180 before his death.

Axl Low _____ : His time-slipping caused him to run in to Slayer and Panonika in New Delhi at one point, and this event eventually gave Axl a "hint" about his powers being somehow linked to his subconsciousness.  But not long after he would end up being "trapped" in the year 2192 post-apocalyptic Babylon and would run in to Bedman only to be rescued by I-No.

Jam Kuradoberi _____ : While at first she went back in to the Bounty Hunting business alongside Bridget, she found it was much more lucrative to run her own Foodcart, though she did get to rebuild a smaller version of her restaurant, it got destroyed YET AGAIN (the cause was never explained).  In frustration, she took a break for a while, only to run in to Jack-O' by sheer coincidence.

Zappa _____ : Zappa was unable to find a medical solution to his supernatural problems, but his run-in with Crow Kuruwaba gave him an opportunity to apply for working with the Government and begin his investigations in to supernatural activity.  As a result, he created something he would later call the "Zappa Scale" and has been using it to "avoid" Information Flare events ever since.

Chipp Zanuff _____ : After settling things up with Slayer, he promised to finish the training that his Master Tsuyoshi had passed on to him, but at some point around 2183 he ran in to the girl Erica Bartholomew who coincidently was the "elected" President of the United States.  She was being attacked by Assassins, but Chipp intervened.  After that whole problem was resolved, Chipp decided to travel to South Africa, where he ran in to Answer who picked a fight with him.

Answer lost that fight, but as a result gained a friend in Chipp and the two would go on to build their own country: Eastern Chipp Kingdom.

Dizzy _____ : After having a serious conversation about her future with Testament, Dizzy decided to finally move in with Ky now that he had secured a job as Police Commissioner of the International Police... of course, not long after this, things happened, and Ky ended up becoming the High King of Illyria due to the Conclave's involvement.  Dizzy, meanwhile, had to go in to hiding, despite her relationship with Ky (along with her son, Sin).

Anji Mito _____ : He was responsible for sealing I-No away as a favor to "That Man", but because of Baiken's feelings on the subject, he decided working with That Man wasn't such a good idea.  Instead, he decided to head back to the Japanese Colony and oversee things there while keeping an eye on Baiken in the process, as her "bodyguard".

He wouldn't been seen for a while after this, but he was in contact with Baiken when she was involved with the later Colony incidents.

Slayer _____ : Taking Anji's advice, he decided NOT to retire just yet, but he did decide to take a break from being active.  He settled in Illyria in secret, and had several men working under him act as his eyes and ears so he could observe the Conclave and Pope from a distance.  Later, Bedman killed one of his subordinates, and it was also around that time he decided to look in to Zato's resurrection.

He was also responsible for passing on that information to Faust, despite their connection being tenuous, he felt Faust deserved closure.

A.B.A. _____ : She was last seen 'temporarily' working for the P.W.A.B., but has since gone missing.  Where she and Flament Nagel went is still unknown.  Most likely though, she is still trying to find a way to give him a humanoid body, despite his desire to remain a weapon.  She is also looking for her creator, the real Paracelsus.

Johnny _____ : After things calmed down with Dizzy, May, and Testament, Johnny continued to further his underworld connections and expand the Jellyfish as an organization.  He would later have to put his plans on hold for May's sake, since she began developing a periodic headache (symptoms of Ki Overflow syndrome).

Millia Rage _____ : After witnessing Eddie's "death" she was forced to run away from the P.W.A.B. Robo-Ky units, but she continued to pursue the ones who stole Zato's corpse (as a favor to Venom) and tracked down their whereabouts to nearby Harden Fortress (VastEdge events).  Due to the situation, she was forced to arm herself with guns and deal with heavily armed bounty hunters, but she was able to relay her findings to Venom and confirm what the Conclave had done with Zato's body.

She would later have to play a ruse and meet up with Venom under false pretenses, but this was all overshadowed by Zato=ONE's revival from death.

Robo-Ky _____ : Funding and support for mass production ceased, and so the only Robo-Ky to remain ended up running away from his makers and settling in a small town within Illyria's borders.  He ended up doing small jobs for self-maintenance, and while he wasn't well-respected, he was at least content with living among humans.

May _____ : She learned a bit more about her past connection with the Japanese people from Ky, but was still unconvinced.  She was upset with Johnny for avoiding the issues around them (he was actually trying to resolve a lot more than she knew).  But after the incident with Dizzy was cleared up, things finally settled down for a time... though May would later develop symtoms from an as-yet not known disease connected with her past.

Eddie/Zato=ONE _____ : His corpse was taken by the P.W.A.B. and used as part of the Conclave's experiments involving Revival magic developed from Dr. Faust's research.  The end result was that Zato's body had been dead and in preservation for nearly 6 years, but once he was revived, his soul became a blank slate, save for the last memories he had of Millia.

Testament _____ : Despite his objections, Dizzy left the forest for good, and so Testament was left to his own devices.  While he hated humans, he understood Dizzy's determination to change his point of view by setting out on her own.  His encounter with the "then dying" Eddie reminded him of the distant past, and his connection to his father Kliff.  Despite everything, he decided to stay in contact with Johnny as a precaution for future events, while keeping an eye on the P.W.A.B.'s movements from a distance.

Baiken _____ : Baiken decided to let Anji be her "protector", even if it didn't mean much to her exactly... but Anji's ominous warning that "That Man" was "too strong for her to deal with", left a bad taste in her mouth.  For the time being, she would lay low among the colonies and out of sight from the police, investigating any possible place the Gearmaker might have been... though she wouldn't have much luck until a certain incident started in Miyabi, the largest Japanese colony.

After that incident, she would encounter the enigmatic Ninja, Answer.

Venom _____ : Having settled his affairs with Millia Rage, he decided to act like a proper Leader of the Assassins.  So proper in fact, his subordinates gained a lot of respect for him, and his brutal methods continued on for nearly 6 years.  After having picked a fight with the current P.W.A.B., he felt he needed more political influence... his next goal would be to take over the United States Government!

(Venom's activities would later be thwarted by Chipp and Gabriel in the Butterfly and Her Gale novel!)

After having lost his chance to control an entire nation, Venom was stuck with doing small-time work under the P.W.A.B. for a time... that is, until Millia supplied him with some unsettling news: Zato was alive!

Bridget _____ : While he did work under Jam's restaurant for a time... his uncle came by to tell him some unsettling news... his twin Brother had left the family home and had gone missing.  Bridget set out to go after his brother, but has been missing ever since.

Faust _____ : Faust wasn't able to get as much information out of the P.W.A.B. as he had hoped, and so he ended up going back in to hiding for a time... though, a certain "incident" in May of 2184 had him run in to a then-pregnant Dizzy who was now IN LABOR!  It was short notice, but Faust was able to help deliver the baby safely!  (Faust wouldn't know it, but that child would later be known as Sin Kiske!)

Faust also went on to save the life of Erica Bartholomew when she was attacked by assassins and wounded by one of them.

Sometime later, he was contacted by Johnny concerning May's sickness, and also given some new information regarding the whereabouts of Zato=ONE, said to be a key witness to events in his past!

Potemkin _____ : After the P.W.A.B.'s underground activities were silenced, Potemkin returned back home to Zepp.  Sometime later, the Assassins tried to incite a war between America and Zepp, and it was Potemkin's job (as per usual) to protect the President at all costs... though he did end up getting in to a fight with Chipp Zanuff under a misunderstanding.

Rather, Chipp had gotten stronger than their last encounter, and so Gabriel decided to challenge Chipp directly, only to defeat the ninja on his own...  Potemkin was not surprised at all by these results, but was still concerned for his nation's wellfare.

After Erica resolved the incident and the Assassins were dealt with, Chipp left to resume his training.

And while Zepp was still monitoring things around the world, it would be a while yet before they got directly involved with another incident.

As time passed however, Potemkin recieved unsettling reports of two strange entities: Ramlethal Valentine, and a mysterious being known as Bedman.

I-No _____ : Her story was put to an end as "That Man" utilized Anji Mito's talents to seal up I-No for the time being... and while I-No was upset concerning this, she had no time to ponder it.  That is, until she was unsealed once more by "That Man" sometime later, and given a NEW mission.

This mission would be to secretly Assassinate the Valentine known as Ramlethal, and also investigate any potential changes in the timeline.

She would not be very successful for a while (even having to fight Sol once again)... that is, until a certain Axl Low fell in to her "net".

Justice _____ : While her final memories took place in AC+R (just prior to her death in 2180), half of her memories were transferred in to a new body... this body was given a new name: Jack-O'Valentine.

Jack-O' was forced to lay low and keep hidden for nearly 8 years after the death of Justice... and it would be some time yet before Jack-O' would accept her 'past self'.

Ky Kiske _____ : Ky settled up his rivalry with Sol, but later decided having Dizzy under his protection was the best for both their goals.  And while he wasn’t given much leeway, his reputation would later put him under the eye of the Conclave.

Sol Badguy _____ : After things calmed down with Dizzy, and I-No was no longer an issue (due to Anji’s meddling), Sol settled up with Ky, drawing an end to a chapter in their rivalry (fall of 2181).

After this, Sol continued his work as a bounty hunter for a while... though, around the end of the year 2184 (just four years since they last spoke), Dizzy contacted Sol with some vague information regarding Ky being depressed and in a bind.

Not sure what was going on, Sol travelled back to Europe where Ky and Dizzy were staying, only to discover that Dizzy now had a son!

But more shocking than that, was Ky’s disheveled state.... he was much slimmer than he’d ever been, and a shell of his former self.

Sol couldn’t bear to see Ky depressed such as he was... and the only solution he could think of, was to knock some sense back in to Ky with his fists!

After some fighting, and knocking Ky down repeatedly, Ky revealed his problems to Sol... he asked Sol to adopt the boy Sin, and keep him under his care!

Sol wasn’t exactly prepared for this... but knowing what kind of person Ky was, and the burdens he was under, finally made sense...

It was then, that Sol decided to take Sin in as an ersatz, “son”, and raise him better than Ky ever could as a father.

Or, at least that was the plan... Sin grew up much faster than Sol expected, and his personality was very different from Ky’s as well... not to mention the “Gear” powers growing inside him...

Still, they would continue as Bounty Hunters for the time being... until they were attacked by Valentine’s Servants: The Vizuel, only to be rescued by a certain Fox named Izuna!

TO BE CONTINUED IN GUILTY GEAR 2: OVERTURE!

[travelingbytastebuds]

JAPAN

WHERE: Shiki's Sushi Babylon, New York *has since closed*

My first experience with Japanese food was when an old friend of mine took me to Shiki Japanese Restaurant in Babylon, Long Island way back around the early 2000s. She loved sushi but back then sushi was not yet a mainstream thing, so I had never had it before. When she took me there, she asked if I knew how to use chopsticks. I had to confess that I did not. So she told me that they didn't have any forks at this restaurant so it was either use the chopsticks or I wasn't going to be able to eat my lunch.

It took me a good hour of looking like a complete fool, trial by hunger and dropping the pieces over and over again before I finally was able to eat anything. By the end of the meal, I was able to use chopsticks at least a little-- enough to finish my lunch at least. Hunger can be such a motivating teacher!

She smiled as we were leaving and told me, "actually, I lied, they do have forks, but I didn't want you to look like an amateur."

My mouth fell open, dropping right down like one of the pieces of sushi that had fallen to my plate dozens of times.

I forgave her for this after sushi became one of my favorite meals though. And she paid me back for her prank by teaching me the difference between sashimi (raw fish/meat and vegetables), sushi (fish, seaweed, vegetables and rice), nigiri (raw fish, seaweed, veggies and rice) and maki (fish, seaweed and rice). And I was able to pick up a new skill that day, which was fun to show off. I can still remember my grandfather watching me with chopsticks and Chinese food (switching ethnic cuisines a bit here), and he laughed and said, "You don't know how to use those. Just grab a fork." and I smiled at him, winked and used my chopsticks just like my friend had shown me. Life is pretty cool when you've got skills you can show off like that when people are laughing at you.

My favorites types of sushi have always been the cooked versions. Firstly because the sushi episode on The Simpsons still scares me and I don't trust any chef to give me the right part of the blowfish, heh. Secondly, because once I actually tasted raw sushi many years later, I found it far too slimy for me to enjoy. And thirdly, the crunchies and the tempura are the best parts!

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Jimmy's Sushi (600 Portion Rd, Ronkonkoma, NY 11779)

Sushi started to pick up steam in the mainstream throughout the early 2000s and eventually more places were offering it. One of my favorite sushi places to go to on Long Island eventually became Jimmy's Sushi. I LOVE this place! I even had sushi at the fancy Japanese restaurant in EPCOT years later, Teppan Edo, but no one does sushi like Jimmy's. They were a favorite amongst my college friends and I have so many memories of groups of us going there, popping open the edamame appetizers, and talking about random stuff while devouring mango topped tempura shrimp and other delicacies.

Jimmy's Sushi was also where my then-fiancé took me and his family when they visited up from Florida, wherein his little nephew looked over his little marinated octopi and lamented, "why do baby octopuses have to be so delicious?" And then proceeded to gobble every last one on his plate like a madman. It became a running joke for us back then.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Kit Kats sent from Japan

When I moved to Virginia, my Japanese food eating days were far from over. A friend of mine went to vacation in Japan and asked if he could send me some souvenirs. I'm not one to turn down free gifts, so I replied,  "please do!"

He proceeded to send me a huge box of an assortment of Japanese Kit Kat bars.

The Kit Kats for today only had Japanese writing on them with no picture and I had to search for a translator online to help. Found out that they were green tea. They were... very strange. I think if I knew what flavor I was eating it would have made more sense to my taste buds. According to Wikipedia, "Marketing for Kit Kats in Japan is believed to have benefited from the coincidental false cognate with "Kitto Katsu", a phrase meaning "You will surely win" in Japanese. Some market research has shown that the brand is strongly correlated to good luck charms, particularly among students ahead of exams." And back then, having just come out of my relationship with my fiancé and living in a completely foreign new state with no job yet, I could use all the luck anyone would send me! Why are my friends so good to me?

I taste tested all of them as I devoured every single one (partially due to the fact that I didn't have a lot of food around that time to begin with). My findings were that peanut butter Kit Kats are pretty good (not as good as Reese's which I love, but Reese's is like professional at that kind of peanut butter/chocolate combination). And strawberry was my favorite at first, until the cherry cheesecake flavored ones beat those by a nose.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: King's Sushi (9125 W Broad St & 9111 Midlothian Turnpike, Richmond, VA)

Once I was successfully living in Richmond, I found my new sushi joint which really has been the only place to ever tie with Jimmy's Sushi. It's called King Sushi, and as far as Virginia goes, it is the absolute best Sushi joint down here! It's part buffet but also table service-- you pay one price and then just keep pointing at the menu, ordering things until your stomach feels like it might explode with food... but like in a happy way, you know? heh. I'll never get tired of this place. It filled my heart with the power of sushi when I could no longer go to Jimmy's, so it definitely gets a nod.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Random Pocky snacks and Universal Yum Yums Subscription Box

I have also had my fair share of Pocky chocolate-coated biscuit sticks just being around a lot of people who are into anime at geek conventions and such.

Universal Yum Yums has also been a great place for me to get some Japanese snacks. In May 2017, they send a box of kawaii snacks and treats, my favorite being the little baby gummy hamburgers that made me feel like I was a giant Godzilla here to eat all the human food in one bite. Rawr!! Always fun to chow down on some Japanese treats when playing Sushi Go (such an adorable game, btw!).

AND ALSO...

WHERE: EPCOT Festival of The Arts 2020

Also want to just point out the frozen sake they have in Epcot. Sake might have been first produced in 500 BC with its invention predating recorded history, but freezing the traditional rice wine is a new style of eating it straight out of Florida. A little of the new world and old world, creating something so very tasty. I think all alcohol drink should be slushies! I would drink so many more of them that way. I ran away that weekend, heading out of town because I was annoyed and needed to go someplace other than home for a while and I just somehow ended up at Disney that Valentine's Day.

In my own drunken social media words, "I'm drunk in Japan in EPCOT drinking frozen sake. There are some manic episodes I regret, but this is not one of them."

[valkyrieofsmut]

Kurt’s Mail Order Bride   8

Cowboy!Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) x Mutant!OC

Descriptions:   Beth gets hurt, and Kurt helps her cook. Logan is suspicious of what happened in the wagon overnight, and a misunderstanding ensues. 

A/n- Hello! It’s a crazy month, but I’m going to do my best to start getting things out again! The only thing I need on my side is time... Let’s do our best! Remember to get a flu shot (they have one for people allergic to eggs, but I’ve only been able to find it at the health department), wash your hands, wear your masks because it’ll help with the flu, too! Love you guys, stay safe!!!  

Masterlist        Series Masterlist

Story!

As Beth checked the meat in the oven, crouching to see better, she heard the door open and turned to see Kurt walk in. 

She closed the oven door quickly. Too quickly, as the towel slipped a little, making her gasp as the hot cast iron of the stove touched her hand, and the back of her finger as she jerked it away. 

Kurt appeared next to her in a plume of smoke, crouching next to her now kneeling form. “Are you ok?” He asked, taking her injured hand and looking at it. 

Beth blinked at him, torn in response. The pain in her hand was starting to leave her mind, even if it wasn’t leaving her hand. 

He was holding her hand, sounding concerned for her. 

It was strange; it made her heart beat fast, her stomach quiver, while the pain stung and seared. 

“I- I’m fine,” she told him, cheeks pink. 

Kurt let her hand go as she took it, standing with her, noticing that her shirt was still unbuttoned for the top three or four buttons, showing her smooth, elegant neck, and giving a hint of cleavage. He swallowed hard and forced his eyes to hers. 

The front door opened, startling them both, and Logan walked in. 

He looked them both over for a moment and started brushing himself off. “Dinner about ready?” 

Kurt and Beth both took a breath and glanced at each other before Beth went to the counter. 

“Almost, I just have to finish the vegetables,” she answered. She picked up the knife there, but Kurt stepped close. 

“Let me do that,” he told her. 

“I can do it,” she told him, looking at him in confusion. 

“Let me, you hurt yourself,” he answered. 

“I’m fine, it’s on the back of my hand,” she said, turning to block him. 

“Beth.” 

A shiver ran down her spine at her name leaving his lips, his tongue wrapping it in his accent. 

“You’re hurt. Let me help you.” 

“He actually wants to help, let him,” Logan told her from the seat he’d taken at the table. 

Beth stepped back and let Kurt take the knife from her hand, remembering that it was burnt, and going to get a cool cloth to put on it. 

A few minutes later, when Beth went to check the oven, Kurt set down the knife and shooed her away. “I’ll get that,” he told her, taking three towels from the counter. 

“I can-” She cut off as his tail, using a towel, opened the oven and he pulled the meat from inside with his two toweled hands. 

He set it on top of the stove, closing the door with his toweled tail. “Nein, your hand is burned, so it will hurt if it gets near the heat,” she realized he’d been telling her. 

Her eyes lifted to his, and she realized she’d been staring at him. 

He was continuing to look at her, his golden eyes searching for an answer to something in her silver ones. 

Kurt was staring, her eyes looked so soft and gentle, her lips were parted, it was making him want to kiss her, and she looked like she wanted him to. 

Logan cleared his throat, and Beth’s eyes widened. 

When had her cheeks gotten so warm? 

She quickly turned away and started walking toward the door. “Excuse me,” she said as she stepped out into the cooler night air. 

She’d been standing there, staring at him, wishing for something she knew would never happen, her cheeks flushed and body yearning. 

No wonder Kurt had been looking at her like that; he’d probably been wondering if she was ok, mentally. 

Kurt ran a hand through his hair, his tail swaying back and forth behind him. 

Why did he think these things of her? 

Was it because she was the only woman around? 

Was it because she was the only woman outside of his family at the circus that hadn’t screamed and tried to burn him as a demon? 

Or was it- could it be that… maybe he had feelings for her? 

“What happened the other night?” Logan asked. 

“Was?” Kurt asked, startled from his thoughts. 

“The other night, when you got stuck in the storm.” Logan’s eyes, dark and hard, had a shrewd intelligence, appraising everything Kurt did or said, and he felt like he was being studied with a magnifying glass. 

“What do you mean? The storm came, and the wheel sank in the mud, I thought.” 

Logan was silent for a second. “Before you went out to town, you were civil, but not nice. Since you got back, you can’t stop staring. What happened?” 

“We were stuck on the road,” Kurt said. 

“And?” Logan led. “Did you do anything?” 

“We ate a picnic,” Kurt supplied, uncertain of the unspoken question. 

“Did you touch her?” He demanded. 

Kurt’s eyes widened, and his cheeks heated. But something else happened; he was offended. 

Was Logan saying that he wasn’t good enough for her? That he would never be? That his dirty demon like hands would taint her? That because of how he looked, it would be inappropriate, or impossible for her to ever like him? 

“Would it be so bad if I did?” He asked darkly. 

“I didn’t bring her here for you to use to your whims,” Logan growled as he stood. “I thought better of you than forcing yourself on a woman when you were alone.” 

“Forcing?!” Kurt nearly yelped in shock, then what Logan had been asking finally clicked. “There was no forcing of anything! I would never!” Kurt held back a growl. “We had to sleep close to keep warm, and because she was soaked from the rain, but I did not touch her. I would never touch her like that!” 

There was a soft noise from the doorway as Beth cleared her throat. “Good to know,” she said quietly, her hand moving to close the door. 

Kurt rushed to her, taking her uninjured hand in his. “I would never touch you like that,” he assured her. “You must know that I’d never touch you like that!” 

Beth blinked at him. 

It was one thing to know he’d probably never want to touch her in any way romantic, another to overhear him telling Logan, but it was completely different to have him declaring over and over to her face that he’d never think of her as attractive and would never want to touch her. 

Hurt emotions were filling her, making her face heat again. “Stop!” She told him, pushing back the tears. “Just stop! Do you even know what you’re saying?” She demanded as she jerked her hand from him and fled through the door into the darkness. 

She made it to the horse stalls, into the one holding Babylon, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck as the tears started flowing carelessly down her cheeks. 

Kurt looked over at Logan at a loss. “I-” 

Logan shook his head, looking away. 

“What- what does she think I said?” 

“Don’t know.” 

“But- I was only saying I’d never hurt her, ja?” He asked. 

Logan looked at him, his dark gaze boring into his golden one. “Look, I don’t know what she thought you were saying. But, I can only think of one reason a woman would run off like that.” 

“Why?” Kurt asked, desperate to understand. 

“She’s had her heart broken.” 

“How would me saying I’d never hurt her break her heart- why- I don’t understand-” Kurt shook his head as he looked down. 

“Welcome to being a man,” Logan told him. 

“Should I go after her?” Kurt asked. 

“Nah, let her have her time, she’ll come back when she’s ready.” 

.

Kurt laid on the couch, unable to fall asleep. 

Logan had gone to bed, and the fire had died, but Beth hadn’t come back, yet. 

Maybe he should have gone after her. What if she’d gotten hurt out in the dark? What if the cattle had stampeded over her? What if- 

He had to stop thinking these things, it was making his stomach twist uncomfortably, not only with pain, but longing and guilt, and just a hint of uselessness. 

The door opened quietly, and Kurt looked up to see Beth closing it quietly. 

A smile pushed at his mouth; she was safe. He was about to say something to greet her, when she turned her face away from him and hurried to her room in the back. 

Kurt felt hurt, but took a breath. 

She was still mad at him. 

It was ok; he’d had people, women, mad at him before, but he’d survived. 

He paused as he thought that this might be different from his mother or sister being mad at him, but shook it off. 

Tag List!

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

99 Problems: Final Part

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,037

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

Dean never came back until early the next morning. You were afraid he died or had gotten seriously hurt when he stumbled into the motel room with blood all over his hands.

“What the hell, are you okay?” you ask as you check for signs of injury.

“I’m fine. It’s—it’s not my blood. Paul’s dead.”

“What?!” Sam gasps.

“Jane shot him.”

“It’s starting,” Castiel comments from the couch.

No matter how much water you gave him last night, he still is a little bit wasted.

“What’s starting? Where the hell have you been?”

“On a bender.”

“Did he—did you say ‘on a bender’?”

“Yeah. He’s still pretty wasted,” you wave it off.

“It is not of import. We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

“I’m all ears,” Dean says and washes the blood off his hands.

“Well, for starters, Leah is not a real prophet,” you reveal.

“Well, what is she, exactly?” the elder brother asks as he wipes his hands and takes a seat by the coffee table.

“The whore,” the angel says.

“Wow. Cas, tell us what you really think.”

“She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. ‘And she shall come, bearing false prophecy’,” he reads from the book in front of him. “This creature has the power to take a human’s form and read minds. Book of Revelation calls her ‘the Whore of Babylon’.”

“The real Leah was probably killed months ago,” you sigh.

“What about the demons attacking the town?” Dean asks.

“They’re under her control.”

“And the Enochian exorcism?”

“Fake. It actually means, ‘you, um, breed with the mouth of a goat’,” he snickers. No one else is laughing, and he immediately stops. “It’s funnier in Enochian.”

“So the demons smoking out is just a con? Why? What’s the endgame?”

“What you just saw—innocent blood spilled in God’s name.”

“You heard all that heaven talk. She manipulates people,” Sam sighs.

“To slaughter and kill and sing preppy little hymns. Awesome,” Dean scoffs.

“Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible. And it’s just beginning. She’s well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit.”

“Alright. Then, how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this bitch?”

“I got just the thing. Wait here,” Castiel leaves without warning.

He comes back seconds later with a stake and sets it on the table.

“The whore can be killed with that. It’s a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon.”

“Great. Let’s ventilate her,” Dean smiles.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Of course, it isn’t,” you sigh.

“The whore can only be killed by a true Servant of Heaven.”

“Servant like—”

“Not you,” the angel cuts off your boyfriend. “Or me. Sam, of course, is an abomination. We’ll have to find someone else.”

“What about me? I don’t want to bring this up and sound like a bitch, but I didn’t domino the 66 seals. I’ve never sold my soul. I never went to hell. I didn’t unlock Lucifer or start the apocalypse or was hopped up on demon blood. I’m a light witch, the purest one. I may be Amara’s vessel, but I haven’t done anything to warrant otherwise.”

“She’s right,” Castiel comments.

“Cheap shot,” Dean mutters. “But true.”

“Great, I’ll kill her. But we need to get past her dad first.”

“I’ll go get him,” the angel offers and disappears once more.

“You know, you didn’t have to go there,” Dean mutters.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” you sigh.

“Yeah, you seem to do a lot of that nowadays,” Sam adds.

You’re about to say something when Castiel returns with Pastor Gideon. He seems spooked that he hitched a ride with an angel, but you can tell he’s one of the good ones.

“What the hell was that?”

“Yeah, he wasn’t lying about the angel thing,” Dean says because he already knows what Castiel might have said to him. “Have a seat, Padre. We got to have a chat.”

It wasn’t easy to have that conversation with a grieving man, but when the story is done, he stares at the stake in your hands with discomfort.

“No. She’s my daughter.”

“I’m sorry, but she’s not. She’s the thing that killed your daughter,” you put softly.

“That’s impossible.”

“But it’s true, and deep down, you know it. Look, we get it—it’s too much. But if you don’t do this, she’s going to kill a lot of people. And damn the rest to hell.”

“It’s just… why me? Why did you tell me this?”

“She trusts you. We need you to get her alone so I can kill her.”

Leah is up to something, but you can’t focus on what she’s doing right now. The only thing you need to do right now is to kill her with this damn stake. Then, you can go back to the motel and finally tell Dean what you’ve been keeping from him for weeks now. Leah strays from the group and goes to the office which gives you a perfect chance to get her. Everyone knew what they wanted to do, and even though her father didn’t need to be there, he wanted to.

She enters the office and checks herself out in the mirror. Peeking around the corner, you saw her face change from what she normally looks like to this god-awful monster with a gaping mouth. She chuckles and closes the closet door where Castiel is waiting. She gasps, he grabs her, and turns her around. He keeps her close to his body so you have your chance at killing her.

You rush into the room with the stake in your hand. She realizes she needs to get out of this or else she’s dead. She chants something in Enochian which causes Castiel a great amount of pain. He lets her go, and she uses her powers to throw both brothers against the wall. She does this to her own dad before turning to you. She goes to use her powers, but she only manages to knock the stake out of your hand.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” your eyes turn blue, “try harder.”

She takes the shot and punches you square in the jaw, causing you to crumble to the ground. She takes off running into some other room, and your magic works on the bruise you know will show up later and grab the stake. Sam, Dean, and Gideon have no choice but to leave Castiel writhing in pain on the floor.

“Help me! She’s a demon!” Leah yells as soon as she enters.

You rush into the room only to be greeted with angry townsfolk. They go to punch and restrain you, and the stake is knocked to the ground. Sam, Dean, and Gideon enter the room to help fight so you can get to Leah. Rob has clear instructions to light the kerosene in front of a closet door where you can hear the people locked inside begging to be let out. Sam rushes over to him and takes care of him while Dean and Gideon fight off the men in your way.

Because you’re so preoccupied, Leah manages to use her powers on you which knocks you to the ground. Your eyes shine brighter than they have before, but there is too much on your mind to muster up enough power to get out of her grasp. She pounces on your body and grabs your throat, squeezing to cut off your air supply. It’s hard to concentrate, but you extend your arm to the stake that lays nearby. If you can only grab it, then you can kill her.

“Please. Like you’re a servant of Heaven,” she scoffs when she sees you reach for the stake.

She doesn’t do anything to stop you because she wholeheartedly believes you are not a servant. No matter what, you can’t give up now.

“You’re the great and mighty vessel for Amara? You’re pathetic! Would a servant of Heaven get pregnant and then kill her own child? Taking a life that is so innocent and pure? This is why my team’s gonna win, and you’re just gonna sit back and watch it happen.”

Once the stake is in your hands, you send out a wave of magic over her which knocks her off guard. Instead of delivering a one liner, you just went straight for the kill. You shove the stake through her heart, and she gasps when she realizes that she’s going to die because of you. She falls off your body, and you scoot back to watch her shake and burn. Everyone else is quiet and stops fighting when this happens, and Sam helps you to your feet. Her face changes from her normal one to the monster one, and then her body ignites in flames. The stake disappears, leaving behind a burning hole where it entered her body.

“But I don’t understand,” Jane whimpers. “How are we supposed to get to paradise now?

“I’m sorry. Pretty sure you’re headed in a different direction,” Dean says, but he’s clearly distracted.

Everyone heard what she has to say, and you can’t seem to meet Dean’s eyes. He finally knows, and it didn’t even come from you.

“How’s the head?” Dean asks the pastor back at the motel room.

He and Sam were patching him up while Castiel rests on the bed. Once Leah died, the spell she put on him wore off.

“I’m seeing double. But that may be the painkillers,” he chuckles as Sam wraps his arm up.

“You’ll be okay.”

“No. I won’t,” he whispers.

Dean finishes with the bandages, and he turns when he makes eye contact with you. There is so much emotion behind his eyes, you can’t be in the same room as him.

“Excuse me,” you whisper and head outside to the car.

“Are we going to pretend that I didn’t hear what she said back there?” Dean says.

He followed you outside so that you two could have some kind of privacy.

“What she said?” you ask, trying to play dumb when you know it’s not going to work.

“Y/N don’t fuck with me. Leah wouldn’t have said that if it wasn’t true. Is it true? Were you pregnant?”

“I wanted you to hear it from me,” you cry. “I found out a couple of weeks ago. I made Castiel get rid of it.”

“You did what?” he says in a low and dark tone.

That means he is beyond pissed.

“We agreed to not raise a child in this life, Dean. I thought this is what we both wanted!”

“You didn't think to tell me any of this?” he finally yells. “Did you even care what I want?”

“Of course, Dean! But we talked about it! How can we raise a child in this life together right now? With Lucifer? Michael? Amara? The apocalypse?”

“It doesn’t matter what we discussed, Y/N! You got pregnant, and you killed it! Without even thinking of me! What, did you think I was never going to find out? Does Sam know?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Oh great, everyone knew but me. I’m so glad you decided to hide this from me. You’re supposed to be my family, Y/N!”

“Dean, I am. This decision has been eating me alive. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Not killing the baby would have been step one! That was my child!” he screams.

“Dean, please, I’m so sorry,” you cry.

“Leave me alone,” he shakes his head.

“Dean, please stay and let’s talk about this.”

“I can’t even look at you right now,” he gets into his car angrily.

He starts her up and peels out of the parking lot in a screech of tires. Your whole world comes crashing down around you, and your knees buckle from the weight. Arms wrap around your body to keep you from falling, and you turn in his arms to bury your head in his chest.

“He hates me,” you sob.

All that Sam can do is hold you. Dean hates you for what you did, and you don’t know if you two will ever be okay because of it.

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[twilight-resonance]

The Low, Interwoven

Ah, let’s see. I’m quite certain I had some particular things I wanted to write about earlier, but I can’t for the life of me remember what they were. Mostly I remember having a laundry list of mundane everydays to ramble through, so I’ll go ahead and start there and see if I remember the rest along the way.

The last few days. I didn’t write yesterday because I felt like crap. For the most part I've been handling COVID isolation well, but it’s become apparent that I need to throw a tantrum every few months about how much everything sucks and how much I’d rather be doing a million things anywhere else right now, and once all that pent-up frustration is spent I’m good again for a few months. Probably not unrelated, my focus has been absolute garbage this week. Something I’ve been working to recognize more often is that when my focus is garbage there’s a good chance I’m actually just angry, but so far I’ve had a lot of trouble actually remembering that might be what’s going on in the moment. So instead I just felt frustrated and guilty at not being able to focus or work on anything, and that compounded of course. Topped off by watching the last couple episodes of Babylon 5 with Hearthsnail last night, and those last couple episodes being very sad. So that didn’t help either of us. I was too angry to go to bed, so he ended up napping on my back while I did some coloring for a while until I’d blown myself out. Then sleep.

Sigh. Fun things. Then my dreams were full of all kinds of unnecessarily just shitty things. Like going to get a pair of contact lenses, actually grabbing and opening two buds for each eye (I wear dailies), and then realizing that not only had I wasted one pair, I’d wasted both because I didn’t actually need contact lenses. It was just unnecessarily shitty, and I think the whole night was like that. That, and there have been some recurring themes in my dreams every night this week that I don’t appreciate either. Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t - we’ll move on.

Today was on the up again. I decided early in the morning during a period of half-awake that I was not going to try to make myself work today, and just let what would be, would be. See if that got me out of the rut, since pushing certainly didn’t. The rest of the day was fairly nice, sans a low point in the evening. We took a short walk between Hearthsnail’s office hours and my writing group; it was a very nice day out. Sunny, and warm, and not quite springlike but there were more smells than you typically get in winter. I ended up talking most of the time, which is somewhat of a reversal - usually Hearthsnail’s the rambly one - and that was nice too. Got home, showered real quick, and made it to the table just in time for the writing group.

Writing went well again. I did another one of those concept writing pieces for a story I’d been considering writing; it was a follow-up scene to the one I’d written Wednesday, and did a lot to flesh out parts of the magic system and world details but especially character details. It’s been ages since I’ve written real dialogue, and it was intimidating at first, but it turned out well. Surprise surprise, every character there is a shitter to a one. Then again, with a group of mercenaries/bounty hunters, what do you expect? Anyway - I didn’t finish the scene, which gives me something to go back to next time. I did eventually peter out, so that’s all right. It’s been... nice. The writing still doesn’t quite feel like it used to and doesn’t feel like it’s all the way back yet, but in a purely functional way there’s actual writing going on, so that’s immense progress all on its own. 

Went from writing to starting dinner, because I was making twice-baked potatoes and the potatoes have to bake in the oven for an hour before you can do the rest of it. In the midst of doing that, Hearthsnail hopped on a chat with his sister and brother-in-law and we ended up playing Betrayal on Tabletop Simulator (which we’ve been using a lot the last week or so). They had a version that had been reskinned as a D&D adventure, so we tried that and that was a lot of fun. That and I just like the Betrayal games, so that’s always fun. Had my low point in there somewhere, but recovered well enough. Something about various stressors simmering up at roughly the same time in a quiet moment and needing to be soothed back down.

Had work to do after that - all the bimonthly copy-past-format work that I’ve been doing for Hearthsnail’s union. Turns out that last time I did it, none of the links worked - learning that was one of those stressors I mentioned - so I spent some time trying to figure out what went wrong. So far, best guess is it has something to do with the way that everything copied and pasted rather than my links not working, but we’ll see. Finished the format work (with a small gap in the middle because my focus is still a bit garbage even if it’s recovering), then went on to writing an email.

Email was about some fire-ecology-oriented volunteer work being asked for at one of the local state parks. The vast majority of the things they listed were things I could do, and I sort of just... decided, fuck it. Why not. Sending the email was simple enough, and now I'm just waiting to hear back. Between the union work and that, I felt a bit better about things afterwards. It’s been hard not having “real” work this whole year and feeling like I'm not contributing enough to the household. I feel guilty about Hearthsnail working so hard while I just... sit around and do nothing? Play some Animal Crossing, maybe, and wash a dish or two every once in a while? I know it’s more than that, and that I do more than that, it just doesn’t feel like it most of the time. It doesn’t feel like most of what I do is worthwhile, and I worry sometimes that I’m becoming too used to not needing to do anything. That’s its own thing, though, and has as much to do with self-worth issues as it does with anything else.

Anyway, nudging at those things felt good. And I suppose there’s the potential on the latter that it might hook me into a paid job somewhere down the line, if I stick around. Oh - there’s also a city council position that needs filling, and I briefly amused myself with the possibility of applying to run for that. Opted not to largely due to the aforementioned self-worth issues - still have a lot of work to do on that front - but also because I’d like to have been listening in to more city council meetings here than I have been. Mostly the meetings I tune into are for the city up north, because those have to do with Hearthsnail’s job. Maybe another time.

That’s mostly been today. I nudged a bit at working on prep for tomorrow’s town hall, mostly because it needed doing and I haven’t yet. Got some things sorted, anyway, even if there’s more to do. Hearthsnail went to bed, though, and this is more important. So now I’m here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Now to see if I can make headway on any other processing. 

...

...That I immediately got up to collect the coloring book and continue coloring again tells me that it’s not ready to happen this night. 

Besides, it’s 3AM, and I ought to head bedwise sooner rather than later. Maybe make it up in time to finish town hall prep before it’s time to run. Goodnight, world. Watch again another night.

[fyeah-terranigma]

Gaia Gensouki differences

Hi, recently I started playing through the Japanese version of Illusion of Gaia and while it’s generally known that the western translation was quite bad, there’s a few details about the game that I haven’t seen documented anywhere else, so I’ll do it here.

1. The Sky Garden in Japanese is called 空中庭園, which is a visual pun of sorts. 空中庭園 is simply the normal Japanese word for the real life Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the kanji literally translate to “garden in the sky” or “flying garden”, in the same sense that we have the word “flying buttress” in English, although a flying buttress doesn’t actually fly. The game took this meaning literally and made it a flying Hanging Gardens. The direct connection to the real life Hanging Gardens was also lost in English although it’s obvious from the imagery.

2. This is pretty well known, but the bosses were changed a lot. Castoth is a lot easier since you can just wail at him with Freedan without having to wait for his hands to finish moving. The boss of the Sky Garden is a giant bird, I actually felt he was a bit harder in the Japanese version, he seems to move out of reach of your sword more, but this could just be my memory failing me. In the western version, this is probably the easiest boss in the game. The other bosses are mostly the same, except…

3. The vampire couple were changed the most of all and this is one thing I haven’t really seen anyone mention. Their sprites are quite different, their faces are pointier and their clothes (underneath their cloaks) were changed. Their attack pattern is completely different. In Gaia Gensouki, the female vampire does an attack where a spike comes from the ground while the male vampire drops skulls on the ground that explode, Bomberman style. Their “combo attack” is a laser that travels down the screen, leaving only a narrow space to avoid it, instead of the big orb from the western version. They move around more slowly and I think the timebomb starts out with more time on the clock. The font used for the timebomb is different. I thought the changes to the vampires were the most interesting so far. You can see the Japanese sprites here: https://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/illusiongaia/sheet/65057/

4. The Ocean Palace sequence is a bit more clear in the Japanese. Will/Tim says he has no memory of how he got there or taking off his parachute, implying that the vampires did this to him. The fountain in the basement is “the fountain of blood”, which was censored. The Blazer games contain several references to the classic story of Urashima Taro, which I’ve talked about in a different post, and the seaside palace seems like it might be another reference to the one from the story, although a very loose one.

5. Will’s name in the Japanese version is テム, which is more like “Tem” rather than “Tim”. The katakana for Tim would be ティム. I think this might have been done to save space since the small katakana ィ is not commonly used outside of foreign words and might not have been part of the font used in the game.

6. A lot of stuff in Freejia was censored, one of the guys sitting in the back alleys is a drunk, the slaves are clearly named slaves and not “laborers”. The sequence with the escaped slave is different: the slave says that you should tell the slavers about him, since he doesn’t want to cause trouble for the guy sheltering him. The latter guy also tells you to tell the slavers because he doesn’t really know what to do and doesn’t want to get into trouble. This makes the act of snitching on the slave (slightly) more palatable. I do think that the original intent here was that you should consider whether getting the red jewels was really worth it, since your greed to collect them all may cause suffering as well, and your “reward” for getting all 50 is just a difficult boss fight with Solid Arm. In an interview, Miyazaki mentioned that this was also the idea behind the town expansions in Terranigma; the player was supposed to doubt the decision to expand the towns since it had some bad side effects like Kingbird getting captured and other bad stuff.

7. I haven’t gotten to this part in the yet but I saw a sprite of the Mode 7 dream sequence at the top of Angkor Wat, and the city in the dream is an accurate representation of the area around Shinjuku station in Tokyo, including a lot of geographical detail. I really like this kind of attention to detail in these games.

That’s all for now, I’m currently finishing Mu so I will post more when I get to later parts of the game.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

THE NEXT CHAPTER: TOBIAS FORGE AND THE FUTURE OF GHOST

Their Kerrang! Award-winning fourth album Prequelle took Ghost from cult concern to global superstars. But the arena-filling congregation of fans is growing restless for clues as to what’s next for Cardinal Copia, Papa Nihil and the ministry. Let Tobias Forge, then, take you behind the mask and into the making of – and future plans for – a band like no other…

The WaMu Theater, Thursday 19 September. Last night this venue – attached to the side of CenturyLink Field, the home of the Seattle Seahawks NFL team – played host to the ‘Groover from Vancouver’ himself, Bryan Adams. Tomorrow it’s the turn of the Pacific Northwest city’s beloved sons, grunge legends Alice In Chains, for their last show in support of their sixth album, Rainier Fog. Tonight, though, Seattle gets the latest ritual on Ghost’s extensive Ultimate Tour Named Death.

Despite this morbid moniker, the scene inside the building is one of lively activity, with techs rushing around to finish the show’s elaborate staging. The house lights illuminate the stained glass window backdrop, while the seating, flat on the floor and sweeping upwards towards the back, furthers the illusion we’re in a vast church. Just then, Tobias Forge, the man whose job it is to address tonight’s 5,000-strong congregation appears. Kerrang! doesn’t notice him at first given the ninja-like silence of his approach, but there’s an intensity to his presence in these make-or-break moments of preparation.

“I’m interested in tour production, so I get to know a lot of these things,” he offers matter-of-factly. “I’m sure I only get to know about 40 per cent of it, but I notice if things aren’t in place.”

As a nine-year-old child, Tobias used to watch the documentary 25x5: The Continuing Adventures Of The Rolling Stones on repeat. The film charts the rock legends’ genesis in 1962 and their steep, heady ascent to becoming the biggest band in the world, circa their 1989 album Steel Wheels. Tobias considers their subsequent Bridges To Babylon Tour (1997-1998), which made more than $274 million and became the second-highest grosser of all time, to be the greatest ever piece of rock staging, and he was evidently taking notes even then. As a result of the level of professionalism he aspires to, you get the distinct impression he’s not a man who suffers fools gladly in this setting – an idea he doesn’t go to great pains to dispel.

“I want to know who’s in the shit today,” he explains. “Who has been put in the situation where his or her job is compromised, because I don’t want to start yelling if it’s a case of, ‘Oh my truck didn’t arrive in time today,’ because then I’ll know what the problem is. If you want to be a good boss, it’s very important you keep things on your radar.

“I’ve definitely got into trouble over the years by being too nice to people and giving them too much slack,” he continues, surveying the operation. “When you do that it’s like with dogs: if you don’t tell them what the rules are, they start making up their own. That sounds horrible, but there are 40 people on this tour, so there has to be a line and a curriculum. I’m adamant about getting my vision through, especially now we’re in this transitional phase between theatres and arenas.”

This increase in scale reflects the continued upswing in Ghost’s popularity, which has seen them go from misunderstood cult band to metal superstar status in the space of less than a decade. Despite this success, Tobias clearly isn’t taking anything for granted. Ghost haven’t played Seattle for three years, but this time around they’re doing two shows in Washington State, the other being the one they played at the Toyota Center in Kennewick two days ago, which has a capacity of 6,000 – almost eight per cent of the city’s 80,000 population.

Tobias may or may not be referring to that show when he discusses his unbridled joy at recently playing in an unnamed city that doesn’t get a lot of large-scale entertainment coming through town, save for appearances from KISS, singer-songwriter Pat Benatar and a touring production of the musical Wicked in recent years.

“None of us had ever heard of this place, and I’m pretty good at geography,” he explains. “But I loved being the singular moment somewhere, instead of the seventh show they’d had there on that particular week.”

And while Tobias describes the resulting night as “phenomenal”, earlier in the day there was an “unforeseen curveball” when the company who were meant to be selling merch at the show pulled out at the last minute, citing Ghost’s satanic image for their decision. This was, of course, a throwback to earlier shows, such as one in the Texan city of Odessa in 2018, when a minister attempted to dissuade people from attending because of the band’s threat to the morals of good God-fearing people. Unsurprisingly, this outburst resulted in an increase in ticket sales.

Despite this more recent – and, these days, more unusual – blip, Tobias’ desire to cover as much ground as possible on tour this time around is inspired by his heroes in Iron Maiden and Metallica, who have long provided him with the blueprints for achieving and navigating monumental success. In this case, the lesson he’s putting into practice is that every location Ghost visit, without exception, should be treated the same.

“The most important thing to me on this tour is that we bring the same production to everyone,” he says. “They all get the full-fucking-monty, whether they’re in Sioux Falls [South Dakota] or New York.”

The walls backstage at the WaMu Theater are lined with Seahawks jerseys, personalised with the names of acts that have performed here, including The 1975, Bastille and Nas, and the rockier contingent featuring twenty one pilots, Halestorm and Dropkick Murphys. Various rooms lead off from these labyrinthine corridors, providing sizeable production offices for the band’s tour management and crew, all of who wear dapper black shirts, trousers and braces affixed with silver broaches of Ghost’s upside down cross insignia. They affectionately address Cardinal Copia as ‘Cardi C’ when he appears later for a fan meet-and-greet. Here, too, are the dressing rooms for the headliners and the opening act for this tour, San Antonio rockers Nothing More.

On all of the doors is a distinct A4 page, the day sheet for this show, which not only details what’s happening, where and when, but also includes a different tongue-in-cheek quote for the occasion. Today, for example, in recognition of the touring party travelling overnight to Vancouver for tomorrow’s show at the city’s Pacific Coliseum, we get this gem courtesy of Britney Spears: ‘The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.’

Tobias, of course, has actually travelled over oceans to be here. Nowadays he lives in Stockholm, the capital of his native Sweden, with his wife and their 11-year-old twins, but he was born in Linköping, the country’s seventh largest city, where the steeple of its 13th century cathedral dominated the skyline. That’s not what the young Tobias was fixating on, though. Instead, aged five, when he already knew he wanted to transform into another person, he’d stand outside his childhood home and gaze down the street. The sun always seemed to be hovering between the buildings at the end, like a fixed but intangible hand beckoning him to get on a plane and go somewhere else and be someone else.

“The days and options seemed limitless,” he recalls today. “For some reason I always thought of the world as being there for the taking, even though I didn’t have any access to that world.”

In spite of this, he felt a deep affinity with his heroes, like the Rolling Stones and Queen, who also came from places you didn’t automatically associate with being breeding grounds for rock gods.

“I felt similar to them, even if they grew up in Dartford [Rolling Stones] or an island off the coast of Africa [Zanzibar, the birthplace of Freddie Mercury]. I, too, felt out of touch with my surroundings, and knew I had a higher calling.”

Twenty-three years later, in 2009, Tobias realised he hadn’t made much headway in heeding this call. He’d been in bands from a young age, from death metallers Repugnant to alt-rockers Magna Carta Cartel. The latter featured Martin Persner and Simon Söderberg, who’d later appear as Nameless Ghouls in the first incarnation of Ghost. Söderberg, along with some other ex-ghouls, is now embroiled in an on-going lawsuit with Tobias over what they suggest are the rightful shares of profits they’re owed from their time in the band. Tobias doesn’t volunteer any information on this topic today, which is perhaps understandable given the considerable column inches already dedicated to it.

Regardless, none of those early bands provided Tobias with the success he needed to, say, quit the day job. He had then been working in a call centre, aiding people having trouble with their mobile phones. Despite spending his childhood endlessly sketching elaborate stage designs and lighting rigs, he still has little interest in technology, particularly mobile phones. Back in 2009 his personal life was happy and satisfying, having welcomed children with his then-girlfriend – now wife – though this potent reminder of the finite time we have drew his attention to the area of his life he recognised as falling short.

“I had an epiphany,” he explains, raising his hands as if sizing up an imaginary canvas. “I found myself very far from the path, so decided in the limited time I have to invest everything in the one thing out of all my [professional] options I believed most in, which was Ghost. I understood wholeheartedly what it was, the music and the image, and felt I could do it without my vanity coming in, because I didn’t like how I looked in pictures or the sound of my own voice. But this would be fiction, so that was fucking cool. So I took all of my eggs and put them in one basket and was back on track. For the first time in my fucking life I was really focused.”

For evidence of the dividends this paid, you need only look at the fact that just a year later, with the release of their 2010 debut album Opus Eponymous, Ghost exploded on to the scene, taking the first step to becoming metal’s hottest new hope.

Further proof of this focus comes today from interviewing Tobias somewhere there’s a screen showing news channel CNN. We’re in the band’s pre-show warm-up space, which is decked out with guitars, keyboards and an electric drum kit he removes the stool from to sit in the centre of the room. He admits if he were in a hotel room now, he could easily watch CNN for 24 hours straight. He doesn’t so much as turn his head to look at it now, though, giving his full attention to the interview at hand.

Even at 38, an age he says his kids consider “as old as shit”, he remains remarkably boyish looking. His dark and piercing eyes, however, belong to an older soul – and it may be Kerrang!’s imagination – but they appear to moisten at several points during this hour-long chat, particularly when connecting the dots between his past ambition and what he’s achieved today.

“I’m trying to recreate a lot of things that aren’t necessarily real,” he says mysteriously. “In my head they’re real, and I’ve been given this fantastic carte blanche where I don’t have to sit in a fucking call centre anymore and am applauded for getting to be someone else. It’s perfect for someone like me who has a fundamental problem with functioning normally in society. If it wasn’t for the fact I was doing this, I would be completely useless.”

When Ghost signed with their American record label, their mythology wasn’t the deep well of fascination it is today. In fact, there was nothing to it at all. They had a unique aesthetic and a sound that didn’t necessarily go with that look, something that would wrong-foot new listeners in the early days, but Tobias didn’t have an answer to why Ghost were the way they were.

“They said the music was great but asked, ‘What’s the story? What’s the biography?’” recalls Tobias. “I said there was no biography because there was no story to tell. I wanted people to throw themselves into the vision and make up their own. But in the end I had to come up with one, which is second nature to me now. Even [Norwegian black metallers] Mayhem had a story. In the early ‘90s, before the internet, there was something that compelled us to want to find out more and listen to their music.”

This mythology Tobias has developed over the years was furthered with the release of Ghost’s fourth album, last year’s GRAMMY-nominated Prequelle, which introduced Tobias’ latest incarnation, Cardinal Copia, a character fans have come to love if the number of $40 plush toys sold at the merch desk tonight is any indication. More recently, a web series on YouTube has added to the intrigue, with the latest episode harking back to 1969, when a young Cardinal Nihil was fronting Ghost at the launch of their EP, Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic. That just so happens to be the band’s latest release in 2019, which will also be available as part of Prequelle Exalted, a limited collector’s edition of the album. Meanwhile, The Ultimate Tour Named Death has introduced the EP’s two new songs, Mary On A Cross and Kiss The Go-Goat, to its set list.

While Ghost’s music has always tipped its papal tiara to the ‘60s, particularly its psychedelic leanings, the latter song in particular sees them take this interest a step further. How much can we glean from them, then, with regards to where Ghost goes next? Not too much, as it turns out, according to Tobias, who suggests, as with the YouTube series, it’s a way to deepen the story of Ghost spanning from the ’40s to the present day, without necessarily providing clues to the sound of album number five.

“It’s just there for shits and giggles,” he laughs, before revealing that Kiss The Go-Goat, a song that’s been knocking around for some time, actually had the working title ‘The Throwback Single’. “I grew up listening to ‘60s music like the Rolling Stones and The Doors, as well as metal. People shouldn’t read too much into this direction, though. The next album is going to be something completely different from that.”

Can Tobias perhaps give two words to describe where, musically or thematically, album number five is heading?

“I’d choose the words ‘fifth’ and ‘album’,” he replies with a wry smile, before justifying what seems like a diversionary tactic. “I look at many fifth albums as a guide as to the urgency for what that record will need to be, with [Iron Maiden’s] Powerslave being a great example. By the fifth album you’re at a point in your career where you have this momentum built up, and you have the expectancy of people depending on you, so you have to put something special in those many spotlights. You need to step up and make a record that’s worth it and justifies all of these things.”

Who, then, can we expect to see fronting these rituals in future?

“I just know that person will have the name Papa Emeritus IV. It will be the fourth Papa Emeritus. But who that is, we don’t know yet.”

We’re not sure we believe him, so push for more. Might we see Cardinal Copia graduating to Papa status? The latest episode of the web series seems to indicate the ‘Sister Imperator’ character and Papa Nihil conceived a child. Wouldn’t that make him part of the papal bloodline?

“I think that what you will get over the next year are a lot of answers to a lot of questions,” offers Tobias, keeping things vague.

Like the question of whether Sister is pregnant? (In the latest ‘chapter’ of the web series, Sister attacks a woman at a Ghost show for smoking next to her).

“We don’t know that yet. It would blow my mind if she was now,” he says, clearly referring to the elderly Sister in the present day. This suggests she could well be with child back in 1969, though.

Has Tobias sketched what this new Papa will look like?

“Have you ever seen The Big Lebowski?” he asks by way of an answer, referencing the scene in the Coen brothers’ classic where Jeff Bridges’ character, The Dude, spots someone drawing on a notepad. When the man leaves the room with the piece of paper, The Dude rushes to scribble on to the page below to reveal the outline of what’s been drawn, only to discover it’s a doodle of a cock and balls. “It’s something along those lines.”

Sensing Tobias is in full evasion mode by this point, we change tack. Perhaps understanding his ambitions, and whether there’s a summit to them, can shed some light on the future – especially as he seems more focused on what Ghost’s next album will do rather than what it will sound like.

“I wouldn’t necessarily compare [my ambitions] to what the Rolling Stones have done, because that was a completely different time under completely different circumstances. For the last 40 years they have sold tickets because of nostalgic reasons, and maybe 40 years in the future there would be a nostalgia element for Ghost, but I can’t count on that.”

“I regard Metallica as colleagues and friends now, but they’re still Metallica,” he says of the thrash legends Ghost supported on their European stadium tour this summer. “I am an ambassador and they are presidents. But when I look to Metallica for influence, I’m looking at what they did in 1988. We’re on our fourth album, as they were on the Damaged Justice Tour, so the next stop is the Black Album.”

Spotting Kerrang!’s obvious joy at this admission, Tobias is quick to clarify exactly what he means by this.

“You have to make a responsible record,” he adds emphatically. “That doesn’t mean to expect riffs. It’s two different things – what the record sounds like and knowing to put yourself in the right spot at the right time. When I had nothing, and lived in a small apartment that cost very little because the ceiling leaked, the dream was to be able to live off making music. When I had kids that became even more important. Now it’s about something else. I’m responsible for showing my wife and my kids that all these years of waiting for me have been worth it. And that goes beyond money, because at the end of the day that’s just seasoning. One day my kids will be grown-up and I have to be able to show them that all this time playing rock shows had a real purpose.”

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Tobias loves touring.

“I’m like a sailor,” he says. “I just love being on the ocean. I’ve not always been on tour, but I’ve always been a transient person. And the road to achieving all this is endless, just like the road I looked down when I was five seemed to me at the time.”

Kerrang

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

In the Royal Bedroom

Chapter 6

[painting by August Allebé, 1863]

The morning sun streamed in. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Your Majesty, you rang?" Kai asked as he cautiously opened the door, coming in further only when he saw the queen dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed facing the door.

"Do you know if the council members are still in town?" 

"I believe so, Your Majesty. One or two might be at country estates, but not very far."

"Good. Could you please see that they're summoned in the next few days? We would like to discuss some possible changes to the succession. Let them think we'll be changing the regency clause if that will get them here faster."

"Very well, Your Majesty. Will that be all this morning?"

"Yes, thank you," she said as the steward exited and closed the door behind him. 

"You're up early," Kristoff said, emerging from the covers on the other side of the bed.

"I can't sleep much lately, anyway," she said, "and you know, you didn't have to hide, I think he's seen worse by now."

"It was an excuse to sleep a few more minutes. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Just some heartburn. The midwife was saying it's a sign that the baby will have a lot of hair."

"Really?" 

"I don't know. She says a lot of things," she paused, "so, how was that dinner last night?"

"I ended up getting cornered by the ambassador from Corona, because apparently we don't allow Inga to make any decisions on her own, and they are extending an invitation for her to attend the upcoming coronation."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That you need to make that decision."

She put her hand on his arm and gave him a teasing glare.

"Come here," he said, gently pulling her down, "if you're going to have a council meeting this week, you need to rest now." She rested her head on his chest, looking at his face. 

"It might be a day or two while he finds everyone.  I said they wouldn't like their vacation interrupted. I think one of them even has a retreat on an island out there. He'll be difficult to find. Are you hungry?"

"I thought you said you had heartburn."

"Only at night. And I asked you."

"I wouldn't mind some breakfast," he said, reaching over for the rope to ring the bell. 

"When do you think I should ask Elsa to visit?" Anna asked after a minute. 

"You would know that better than I would."

"I told you, though, I really don't know how long it's going to be. Not right away, of course. But it could be a few weeks." 

There was another knock at the door. This time Gerda peeked in.

"Something to eat, Your Majesty?"

"Yes, thank you, for both of us."

The door closed again.

Kristoff stroked her hair.

"Maybe I'll let her decide," she sighed.

"She'll assume something is wrong, and I wouldn't blame her. That's worse than just telling her to come. If you want to see her sooner, invite her."

She sighed. 

"Really," Kristoff continued, "if you tell her not to come yet, she's going to worry. So I think the answer is pretty obvious."

The doorknob was rattling, and they heard a faint tapping on the door.

“Mama!  Mama!” “It’s Karl, could you let him in?” Anna said as she slowly sat herself upright.

Kristoff got up and grabbed his robe and put it on while he walked to the door.  

“Mama!” Karl yelled as he ran in to the bed.

“I suppose Nanny was busy getting breakfast, but you can eat with us,” Anna said as he quickly climbed into bed with her to cuddle.

Kristoff checked the hallway for anyone else before closing the door and going into the bathroom. When he came back out a few minutes later, he was dressed for the day.  Karl was nestled against Anna and nursing.

“Should he be doing that?” Kristoff asked.

“It’s perfectly safe, even the doctor didn’t see any harm in it, and the little guy definitely needed some comforting.” Breakfast arrived.  Karl didn’t want to move.

“Hey, let’s get you some bread and jam,” Anna said, gently detaching him. She went over to the small table by the window and sat down.  Karl went over and pulled at her while she spread some jam on a slice of bread and handed it to him.  He stuffed it in his mouth greedily as Kristoff picked him up and sat him on his lap across the table. 

Another knock at the door.  

“Nanny, is that you?” Anna called out.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” she said, opening the door slightly, “did Karl come in there?”

“Yes, he’s having breakfast with us.  Are the girls having breakfast with you?”

“They are, Your Majesty.  Would you like me to come for Karl in a few minutes?”

“Actually,” Kristoff interrupted, “I think I’ll take him for a ride a little later.” “Very well, Your Highness,” she replied, and slightly bowing as she closed the door, “Your Majesty.”

“It does look like another nice day,” Anna said wistfully, “I am starting to feel kind of trapped.”

“Do you want to go out to the garden again this afternoon?”

“Not if it’s an inconvenience,” she said.

“If I see Inga, I’ll send her up here to keep you company for a while.”

“Only if she’s not busy, I don’t want to impose on her,” she said, “but that would be nice.”

“Oh, and, just as a warning, when I brought up the succession issue, she… kind of… jumped to conclusions…”

“What do you mean by that?”

“She seemed to think we were trying to arrange a marriage for her?”

“Um…  I hope you told her we’re doing no such thing.”

“Of course, of course… and it’s a good thing, too, since I got the idea that the Corona invitation was presented to her as a pretty blatant move for something like that…”

“Why would they do that? There must have been some misunderstanding. I mean, some kingdoms, yes, they take one look at the children and think they’re nothing but commodities…”

"Well, maybe talk to her…" he suggested as Karl was wiggling back to the floor.

"And, what?"

"I don't know, you were a sixteen-year-old girl once, weren't you?" 

"That's… not helpful," she said, watching as Karl climbed onto the bed and began jumping. 

"Maybe it's something she's been reading?" He winked.

"The Hanging Gardens…"

"What gardens?"

"The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. She was telling me about it when she was just starting to read through the Greek and Latin books in the library. The gardens were built for a princess who was sent away from her mountainous kingdom to live in the desert…"

"Is that what she's been reading?" Kristoff asked, as he caught Karl mid jump.

"Just be glad it wasn't Oedipus Rex," she laughed, "Actually, no, she probably has read that, but I don't think she'd want to talk to us about it."

"Should I read that?"

"Well, our copy is in Greek…"

"You know, I've heard people translate books sometimes…" 

Kristoff assisted Karl in doing several flips on the bed as he giggled wildly.

"Maybe it's time to take him on that ride you were promising."

"Good idea," he said, scooping up the boy, "let's go!"

"Bye, love!" Anna said as her husband kissed her on the lips, "and you, too, Kristoff."

Anna sat at the table looking out over the courtyard, watching them head over to the stables. He saw them come out, mounted on Sven, as they trotted off out the gates. 

The door creaked open.

"Mama?" Inga asked, "I saw Papa when he was heading outside. He said you might like some company."

"Only if you aren't busy."

"Of course not," she said as she sat down at the small table and got herself a slice of bread and spread some butter on it. 

"I heard that the ambassador from Corona spoke to you last night," Anna said cautiously. 

"Yes," she said finishing a bite of her bread,"it was rather ham-fisted, if you ask me."

"Your father got that idea."

"Oh, I didn't see him nearby, was I that loud?"

"I really don't know, just that the ambassador came to him after speaking to you."

"I'm not sorry for that. What did Papa say?"

"He told him it was my decision. And I'll leave it up to you, but at least you can be honest with me. You really won't offend me. I remember that ambassador from years ago when he was younger."

"Really? He's been here before?"

"Yes, but you wouldn't remember. You had just turned two years old. I had left a ball a bit suddenly because I… wasn't feeling well. I guess your father followed me out without excusing himself from a conversation."

"He did strike me as a bit self-important…"

"Most of them are, I'm afraid," Anna said sipping her tea.

Inga glanced out at the courtyard deep in thought. 

"That ambassador's secretary seems nice enough," she said, still looking outside.

"Oh? Your father seemed to like him, too, though he seemed to think he can't exactly keep secrets."

"Well that's probably true," she laughed. 

"Why? What did you learn?"

"The Crown Princess seems to think she knows you. And they visited here twenty years ago? You've never mentioned that."

"Oh… I'm surprised she'd… I mean I'm not surprised. Of course she was here."

"We figured she was just being polite," Inga said, adding flippantly, "I can't imagine someone would have actually enjoyed their time here then…"

Anna looked at her daughter.

"Sorry, Mama," Inga said quickly, looking down at her lap.

"No, just… don't worry about it," her mother said, as she began pouring herself another cup of tea. "By the way, I'm going to be inviting Elsa to visit soon."

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that," Inga replied quickly, "does this mean you think the baby is coming soon?"

"I don't know about that, you really all come and go when you want, don't you?" Anna teased. 

Inga rolled her eyes but smiled a little.  She had heard more than a few visitors grumbling about the children left to run wild through the castle, as well as one or two tutors and governesses who didn't stay for long. None of the complaints were ever about any of the things that actually bothered her about her family. 

She wished they would keep their thoughts to themselves, of course, and she certainly wished that they would remember that just airing their thoughts in French didn't give them any secrecy. She and her siblings might be undisciplined, but they heard and understood the whispers about "les petits sauvages" all the same. The visiting diplomats knew better than to say anything around her mother. The first time she heard someone say it, she was standing with her father. She didn't quite understand the implications, because she was still young, but she was in the habit of helpfully translating everything for her father when official guests would slip into speaking French.  He told her to ask them to repeat what they said for him, and the men grew very uncomfortable.

She had been staring at the town for a while. She realized she hadn't had anything to drink, and poured herself a cup of tea. 

"You don't have to decide right now," her mother said, "but at some point I'll need to give the ambassador an answer about the coronation invitation."

"Maybe if Frederick can come," she replied, "I don't know. I don't want to go by myself, or just myself and a chaperone. I know a chaperone of some sort would be expected."

"Do you think he'd really want to go?"

"He said last night he'd like a trip, but I'm not sure how serious he was."

"I don't know. If you think he'd actually behave himself...he'll still be fourteen then, and you'll be seventeen. It's a big difference."

"But you think I'd have been better at fourteen, don't you?"

"I didn't say that," her mother said quickly.

"But you and Papa were thinking it."

"Oh, well, that was his idea, but I thought he had some good points.  We are going to bring the council in this week, if Kai can find them all. I mean, unless you really don't want to, but I do think you should consider it."

"That's what Papa said, too," she sighed, "and I told him, I guess I should be grateful. I'm just afraid that Fred is going to resent me for it. I mean, I understand why he'd want it this way, I really do."

"I'm sorry we brought it up so suddenly. He does get worried, you know, and I can't blame him for that…"

"But you'd tell me if there was anything… anything in particular to worry about right now, right?"

Her mother looked at her and nodded. Inga decided she needed another slice of bread, this time with extra butter and jam.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again

no prahblem

reading Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank. I have been trying to read this since winter break, not because it’s awful but because I feel really guilty about reading things for funsies when i am constantly swamped with actual schoolwork. i’m not going to talk about the worst shit in here bc i am very tired in general about post-apoc novels being like this, even though it is perhaps disingenuous to hold a book published in 1959 to modern standards? things that surprised me: there’s an African American family living next door/down the road from the protagonists’ family (who are VERY paternalistic towards them), and there’s a good bit where the protag realizes he’s never heard the dad’s Christian name, and another good bit where the manic pixie twelve year old goes to ask him why all the fish are gone, since no one has apparently thought to ask the best fisherman in the county that??? 

there are several somewhat deus ex machina things that happen at the end of the book that I am not best pleased by- they feel like Frank wrote himself into a corner and had to get those RPG mood meters filled back up before everyone dropped dead from despair. 

i am CONVINCED the librarian and the Western Telegram lady are in lesbians. the town doctor (who complains a lot about his ex-wife) and the protagonist man engaged to a rich girl down the street- I think I could make a solid case they’re both bi. the doctor has protagonist man’s bed, and protagonist man sleeps on the couch in his study. this is the kind of thinly veiled arrangement that makes me go *eyes emoji*. 

anyway it was a somewhat more hopeful post-apoc novel than i’m used to, i cannot in good conscience rec it because it’s just steeped in racism (although less bad than I was braced for for a book published in 1959 and set in South Florida) and some slut-shaming for good measure 

listening King Princess, Ohio. just ouch. jesus, mikaela, give my fuckin heart a break. this is is slow and sad and unexpectedly slams into a higher gear and i like it a lot

watching Birds of Prey was so much fucking fun. More colorful over the top movies 2k20 please and thank you. The Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend sequence was incredible- turning that dress into a pantsuit was such a good choice. the whole soundtrack is nonstop club bangers. i’m just going to link my favorite song off it again

playing slogging through the end of the Nuka-Cola World DLC. this is miserable and i am straight up not having a good time. gage, you gotta stop falling in love with every woman who can pick locks real good, because i am literally about to betray you and we are both going to feel bad about it

making lots of prep to get things going, not so much actual finished projects, i never remember to take progress shots. here’s some squares. once these get washed and blocked they will be more square and roughly the same size. do i really want to make 48 of these fuckers and then sew them all together??? i’ve banged out seven since november, so maybe it’ll happen without me noticing but they will all probably sit in a bag for a couple years before i finally get around to sewing them together. god that’s gonna be like a mile of mattress stitch FUCK. AND THEN THE BORDER. WHY DOES ANYONE MAKE BLANKETS THEY’RE SO MUCH WORK