#actually i don't rlly care
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Look at my new profile picture!
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1/2 of the messiest polycule in the queer housing facebook group AKA i just finished imperial radch
#ancillary justice#imperial radch#breq#justice of toren#seivarden vendaai#it is my personal belief that when breq shaves her head in AS thats the first time her hair has been cut in 20 years#fanart#digital#feb24#actual art#anyway im deeply obsessed w these two. psychosexually so. crawling around inside their weird little dynamic#tfw ur autistic+asexual+a bitch and u trauma bond with this girl who u don't even LIKE & then she keeps asking u to dom her w/o a safeword#(i joke but fr the way they care for+care about each other makes me rlly emotional. and when u add ship into the mix. weeps)
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anyways ive decided if deku doesn't get his ass over to bakugo's corpse in the next 2-3 episodes im gonna cave and just read the manga. bc im sorry but i do NOT care abt any of these other fights right now 😭
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#bkdk#once again my posts abt the two of them will always actually be abt bkdk#also THE FACT THAT WE DONT EVEN GET AN EPISODE THIS WEEK???? SICK AND TWISTEDDDDDDDD#admittedly i do kinda rlly care abt the toga x uraraka fight. and im lowk hella curious abt the whole heteromorph fight that's gonna go dow#HOWEVER. i srsly do not gaf abt any of that when bakugo and deku are RIGHT THEREE#also i have officially lost my patience with the endeavor vs afo and shoto vs dabi fights. oh my godddddddd#afo pls go kys. and dabi im sorry but i actually don't care abt u anymore#i was a HUGE todoroki fam drama enthusiast back in 2020 but now... pls im so done with it 🥱#also we JUST burnt dabi to a crisp and finished that battle WDYMMM he's back and the villains are now WINNING???? WRAP IT UPPPPPP OH MY GOD#anyways. all that's to say im gonna lose my mind#in the wise words of user makeste:#if their names do not start with baku or deku then idgaf what's going on#thank u for coming to my ted talk gn ✌️
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girls will be going insane and it will literally be over a non canon ship involving two middle aged men
#GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but like also me with:#hannigram#wolfstar#i don't actually want to associate myself with the rest of these so#blackstede#geraskier#destiel#tomgreg#kenstewy#also some of these are canon but i don't care rlly#ineffable husbands#reddie#and some of these ppl aren't rlly middle aged just roll with it#buddie#hilson#house md#mlm#gay#too tired to think of other couples tag ones i forgot if u would like
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told you guys ive been plagued by the analogue horror fixation again
#GRAAHH religious bug boy grrrr#i have no clue why im so drawn to religious media ; neither me not my family is religious#for colin i was inspired by the scene where all the regnad comuters were covered in the the the#also i cant believe that im just now realizing that regnad is danger spelled backwards but i digress#i know tony's is like rlly cringey n stuff but like trust me he really does fit trust i swear im srs i promise please trust me i swearimnotl#also i did have fun with the lars one#he was just silly ahaha#oh yeah if you don't know which one lars is for its local 58 btw :33#ill spare you the long winded vent this time around#last time i tried to share my feelings on this platform someone that i care about was concerned about my wellbeing#and people actually caring about me is the last thing i want haha#just indulge in the content i make ; my personality is quite lackluster and im not a good person ahaha X3#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis lamp#larry the lamp#dhmis hv larry#analogue horror#crossover art
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Have this drawing of a scene from @denny-artsss’s fanfic
There would have been another one but I can't bring myself to lineart it rn
Please don't ask questions...
#Don't look at me#Ribbun#fanfic fanart#tadc gangle#tadc jax#This particular scene is pretty detailed in it's description#I AM NOT INTO THIS STUFF#ERMM IM ACTUALLY ASEXUAL🤓👆#Motivation went yeet#I blame the exams#They took away my artistic motivation:(#But rlly I was thinking of like this cozy/romantic bath thingy with rose petals and scented candles#Except the only other date is myself left alone with my thoughts#I love spending time with me#self care is important
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
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(on touring with paramore) kind of hilarious and delightful attitude from patrick
#i just thought of the way hes said similar things about daisy grenade recently#excellent female vocalists making him sweat. as he should. and also him being a c*nt about other bands. also as he should#media blitz#actually a rllly good interview some rlly interesting questions. and a lot of andy and joe smirking at each other LOL#also the question about all their kids and then andys answer ''don't care'' HAHAHA
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Everyone say thank you to folks w Jax as their f/o bc y'all are better together than ANY of the Jax ships I see folks posting abt /hj
#I'm a Jax ship hater I'm srry...#not meant as shipcourse do whatever you want I literally don't care I just... rlly fucking hate Jax ships for an unknowable reason#ily folks w f/os of characters I hate seeing be shipped in general actually y'all are very cute together pls keep doing what you do
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today's ep is fun ([Fondly] "Yes, Martin, you are my reason,") but im gonna take the time to complain about something minor from years ago, because when else will I get the opportunity?
occasionally people made (make? ive blocked most people who were hardcore about it so idk if they're still on it) posts arguing that Martin is a terrible boyfriend and person and Jon deserves better, and they always cite this part:
to say 'wow, how can Martin say that when he himself isn't very open either, the hypocrite!'
but if we remove the poorly edited out text, and look at the quote in its actual context...
Martin didn't just decide, 'hey, lets chide Jon on his emotional openness today'. Jon literally just read Martin's mind to know what he was thinking about - it's not dwelled on for too long, but imagine for a moment how fucking invasive that really is. compared to that, yeah, Jon doesn't share as much!
which isn't to say that he always should share everything and it's Jon's ''fault'' if he doesn't immediately tell Martin how he's feeling at every moment. just that, you know, communication has to come from both sides. so i think it was more than fair for Martin to express his concern about the imbalance, if Jon would have continued to just know what was in Martin's thoughts and feelings
#but he stopped! because they're actually doing quite well for the beginnings of a relationship during the apocalypse#Martin isn't perfect. not by a looong shot#mostly: being a bit insensitive to other people's feelings#i guess it's cause they're bfs now? and martin put up a good front about being a nice and caring guy#but actually.... he tries rlly hard but he iiisn't actually that good at the emotional stuff?#which is why he just hands out tea when something bad happened. maybe a little white lie#and sometimes that helps#but sometimes it doesn't#anyways.#tma#a mag a day#martin#beloved 💜💜💜#people were so psyched when he's a bit of a bitch until those traits don't immediately melt away in the light of Jon's Jon-ness#ANYWAYS. i should shut up. before i restart this damned discourse#tma s5#mag167
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every day i have to hold my tongue when m-cd-nnis shippers start sounding like frat guys with the way they talk about dennis' Secret Feelings toward mac. hey man. i don't actually think you get it. i don't think you understand what's going on between them.
#HEY MAN. I DONT THINK DENNIS ~SECRETLY WANTS IT~ AND TJAT ITS GOOD ACTUALLY WHEN HE ASSAULTS HIM. CAN YOU BE NORMAL.#ada speaks#guyssss dennis is just secretly gayyyy its fiiiine mac is making him come to terms with itttt#he actually really wants all this despite his verbal protests you guysssss#fuck taking him at his word obviously dennis doesn't know what he wants !!!#like my brother in christ. when dennis says. It's Never Gonna Happen. Not Willingly.#he means it. the willingly part IS the important part#when dennis HAS a choice and when mac is not actively REMOVING that choice#THEN he is like. fine with it#but you people don't seem to understand what it is that mac is doing that dennis is opposed to#is it rlly that hard to understand that mac putting dennis into these situations like in ddl and gets romantic is intentional on mac's part#dennis' issue is. Always. he doesn't like being TRAPPED. key word.#this is why he resists time and time again not just with mac but with everything else he fights against#he doesnt like being out of control. he doesn't like being controlled. its not even that he wants to be the one in control#it's for protection#so when mac traps him. intentionally. in a way that is premeditated. when he knows he cant trust mac#why in gods name would he WILLINGLY consent to literally anything#like you look at the implication and the obvious parallels there#where he is recreating how he was made to feel#and its specifically about being trapped. PHYSICALLY in this sense#and you look at the fucking scripts and you see how many goddamn times the word TRAPPED is used#[GESTURES BROADLY]#like for the last time. dennis is not resistant to mac bc he has these latent desires he is in denial about.#he's resistant to mac because he doesn't trust him and doesn't want to be assaulted.#its about power. but consistently we see that dennis Doesnt Want Real Power he just wants enough to protect himself#like for fucks sake. yes. if dennis consents then obviously he's going to be fine with it#the problem is that mac doesn't care enough to get consent#and very specifically circumvents it instead. den isn't like. overreacting. he's right djskdjfkkf
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"covert" narcissist this "overt" narcissist that, are y'all actually that consistent?
#i always struggled with those narc subtype labels bcs it rlly depends#sometimes it's secretive & insecure#sometimes i rlly do just act like a stereotypical disney villain narc & it's not deep#it's usually “bpd + npd = covert narcissism” but i feel like that's only consistently the case for me when i have a fp?#looking up sources on google is Not Helpful (per usual). not like i particularly cared anyways? but i keep seeing mentions of covert & overt#in the tags#this is what i get for — according to my old therapist — having “inconsistency being (my) main personality trait” 🙏🙏#it's not just outward my baseline just changes a lot#i def act overt vs covert w different ppl depending on what i want out of my relationship with them. idk there's just a lotta factors so i#don't understand sticking to one label ?#someone feel free to explain or sumn#cluster b#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually narcissistic#covert npd#overt npd
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Hendrix (Puppet) and Koji (Loon) !!
#i rlly like how hendrix came out#idk maybe it's the more dinamic pose but i really like it :3#but then i got lazy with koji lmao i just copypasted the accesories from the first drawing i made of him#fnafhs#fhs#fhsz3r0#puppet#loon#my art#hendrix emily#koji jigen#(as far as i know) jigen is a name not last mame but i rlly like it and i didn't find any last name i liked so let's pretend#i mean probably no one cared until I pointed it out but I live with the fear of someone coming like “uhmm actually 🤓👆”#and... he doesn't even appear in the au i don't really care about him lmao#but yeah yay
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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔
#sylph.txt#everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is#but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho#idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past#to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work#it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool#it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up#we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party#but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao#(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is#but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him#i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did#and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself#w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party#similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter#idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny#but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with#that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao
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THIS IS GOING TO BE A DIFFERENT ASK MAYBE (QUESTION MARK) but what are your general interests? hobbies? things that you look at and associate yourself with! (fashion, aesthetics, tv shows, characters, etc) i love learning about my friends. <3 it makes me super happy so sometimes i do ask these kind of things! YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPLY RIGHT AWAY OR AT ALL.. take your time!!!!!
hii doll !!
thiz ask iz so very sweet honestly . i can totally get why you sent thiz it but . the more ive been ruminating . the more difficult it iz to answer
truthfully . i don't really have any "hobbies" to speak of – yes . i like to draw and write and such but i wouldn't necessarily say i associate theze thingz with myself ; i enjoy them . but i don't think im good enough at them to call them real hobbiez
uhh . i don't exactly have any specific style or fashion i would associate with my name – i don't have a set muzic taste that would get me to be part of a specific culture [gothic . scene . emo . stuff of the sortz] . and i don't have cool thingz that i can wear to fit into fashion stylez that require only like clothez n aestheticz [cutecore n such] ; to be honest . whatever comez into your mind when you think of "really cringe trans person that you see on tik tok" . thatz the closest thing you'll get to a "style"
uhh . cringey i know but i typically just watch anime – i obviously like dhmis . but the rest of my watchlist iz kind of not very good ["Bocchi the Rock!" . "Akiba Maid War" . "Ouran Highschool Host Club" . "The Disastrous Life of Saiki K" . "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" ofc . stuff of the sortz]
my favorite fictional characterz are onez that ive spoken of quite a lot [tony from dhmis . monika from ddlc . kanade from prjsk . daisuke from mouthwashing . neuvillette from genshin impact . rana vocaloid . sayaka from pmmm . silly guyz of the such]
i uhh . don't know what else to say
shrug
#uhh ...#honestly . i don't really know who i am#i know some stuff that i like . but whenever i look at myself in the mirror . i struggle to figure out who the reflection there belongz to#call it stupid . but itz genuinely how i feel ..#i know i relate to sayori more . yes . but in termz of characterz i like more . monika iz the one#yeahh ..#spooky's soliloquies#asks#answered asks#my ask box#my inbox#spooky's postbox#im sorry that itz sloppily worded#im just very tired#im not a very big fan of genshin . but hez literally one of . if not the only reazon that i still open up the game#him n furina n sigewinne n clorinde n#actually . just the fontainian characterz#thoze are the only guyz i rlly care about#everyone else leave
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stumbles out of we solved fnaf and we're not kidding covered inblood
#i watched all of matpat's reactions to it and i agree with his thoughts on it for the most part#i LOVE that that video exists i really admire people who are willing to start from scratch and reevaluate info the fandom has considered#set-in-stone bcuz i think esp with something like fnaf thats really important. to just take a step back and be like#''we all consider this canon at this point but is it actually? is there really no other explanation?''#and yeah i really admire that ability to just totally take a big swing and go against everything that's been considered well and done#its literally um. almost 6am (insert fnaf joke here) and i still havent gone to bed so. im not gonna write out all my thoughts#BUT. i think cassidy being the crying child is rlly interesting and simplifies things in a way i like while also making other things#way more complicated. so i dont really know. the michael being the vengeful spirit part i do NOT agree with#i get where they were going but a lot of their evidence isnt great and additionally i just dont like the idea bcuz it turns the ending#of pizzeria simulator and UCN from a bittersweet conclusion to a far less satisfying and more bummer ending where its just mike#torturing his dad forever and never getting to move on himself. like no that guy is chillin in the afterlife playing cards with henry#they did point out a lot of other cool stuff too that i hadnt really thought about before like michael in sister location being#stuffed into the same fredbear suit that he put the crying child into. thats soooooo fucking good and makes a lot of sense#again im not gonna go into every little thing but the one thing i disagreed with matpat on which the comment section also#mentioned repeatedly is him saying that he doesnt think william would send michael to his death. as everyone has pointed out#like....... he definitely would. hes like the worst father ever and michael is the scapegoat child who everything is blamed on#yes theres the question of why he would wait so long to ''punish'' michael. but its moreso just that william didnt CARE if michael lived#or died sending him to circus baby's. i really don't think that was a stretch considering william's horrible abusive behavior and literal#status as a serial killer. yeah its fucked up but its definitely not out of the realm of possibility#ANYWAYS. holy fuck i need to go to bed. wild life tomorrow. good night everyone#infizero.txt
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