#actually i don't rlly care
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Look at my new profile picture!
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1/2 of the messiest polycule in the queer housing facebook group AKA i just finished imperial radch
#ancillary justice#imperial radch#breq#justice of toren#seivarden vendaai#it is my personal belief that when breq shaves her head in AS thats the first time her hair has been cut in 20 years#fanart#digital#feb24#actual art#anyway im deeply obsessed w these two. psychosexually so. crawling around inside their weird little dynamic#tfw ur autistic+asexual+a bitch and u trauma bond with this girl who u don't even LIKE & then she keeps asking u to dom her w/o a safeword#(i joke but fr the way they care for+care about each other makes me rlly emotional. and when u add ship into the mix. weeps)
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anyways ive decided if deku doesn't get his ass over to bakugo's corpse in the next 2-3 episodes im gonna cave and just read the manga. bc im sorry but i do NOT care abt any of these other fights right now 😭
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#bkdk#once again my posts abt the two of them will always actually be abt bkdk#also THE FACT THAT WE DONT EVEN GET AN EPISODE THIS WEEK???? SICK AND TWISTEDDDDDDDD#admittedly i do kinda rlly care abt the toga x uraraka fight. and im lowk hella curious abt the whole heteromorph fight that's gonna go dow#HOWEVER. i srsly do not gaf abt any of that when bakugo and deku are RIGHT THEREE#also i have officially lost my patience with the endeavor vs afo and shoto vs dabi fights. oh my godddddddd#afo pls go kys. and dabi im sorry but i actually don't care abt u anymore#i was a HUGE todoroki fam drama enthusiast back in 2020 but now... pls im so done with it 🥱#also we JUST burnt dabi to a crisp and finished that battle WDYMMM he's back and the villains are now WINNING???? WRAP IT UPPPPPP OH MY GOD#anyways. all that's to say im gonna lose my mind#in the wise words of user makeste:#if their names do not start with baku or deku then idgaf what's going on#thank u for coming to my ted talk gn ✌️
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told you guys ive been plagued by the analogue horror fixation again
#GRAAHH religious bug boy grrrr#i have no clue why im so drawn to religious media ; neither me not my family is religious#for colin i was inspired by the scene where all the regnad comuters were covered in the the the#also i cant believe that im just now realizing that regnad is danger spelled backwards but i digress#i know tony's is like rlly cringey n stuff but like trust me he really does fit trust i swear im srs i promise please trust me i swearimnotl#also i did have fun with the lars one#he was just silly ahaha#oh yeah if you don't know which one lars is for its local 58 btw :33#ill spare you the long winded vent this time around#last time i tried to share my feelings on this platform someone that i care about was concerned about my wellbeing#and people actually caring about me is the last thing i want haha#just indulge in the content i make ; my personality is quite lackluster and im not a good person ahaha X3#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis lamp#larry the lamp#dhmis hv larry#analogue horror#crossover art
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girls will be going insane and it will literally be over a non canon ship involving two middle aged men
#GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but like also me with:#hannigram#wolfstar#i don't actually want to associate myself with the rest of these so#blackstede#geraskier#destiel#tomgreg#kenstewy#also some of these are canon but i don't care rlly#ineffable husbands#reddie#and some of these ppl aren't rlly middle aged just roll with it#buddie#hilson#house md#mlm#gay#too tired to think of other couples tag ones i forgot if u would like
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Have this drawing of a scene from @denny-artsss’s fanfic
There would have been another one but I can't bring myself to lineart it rn
Please don't ask questions...
#Don't look at me#Ribbun#fanfic fanart#tadc gangle#tadc jax#This particular scene is pretty detailed in it's description#I AM NOT INTO THIS STUFF#ERMM IM ACTUALLY ASEXUAL🤓👆#Motivation went yeet#I blame the exams#They took away my artistic motivation:(#But rlly I was thinking of like this cozy/romantic bath thingy with rose petals and scented candles#Except the only other date is myself left alone with my thoughts#I love spending time with me#self care is important
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
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(on touring with paramore) kind of hilarious and delightful attitude from patrick
#i just thought of the way hes said similar things about daisy grenade recently#excellent female vocalists making him sweat. as he should. and also him being a c*nt about other bands. also as he should#media blitz#actually a rllly good interview some rlly interesting questions. and a lot of andy and joe smirking at each other LOL#also the question about all their kids and then andys answer ''don't care'' HAHAHA
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Everyone say thank you to folks w Jax as their f/o bc y'all are better together than ANY of the Jax ships I see folks posting abt /hj
#I'm a Jax ship hater I'm srry...#not meant as shipcourse do whatever you want I literally don't care I just... rlly fucking hate Jax ships for an unknowable reason#ily folks w f/os of characters I hate seeing be shipped in general actually y'all are very cute together pls keep doing what you do
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"covert" narcissist this "overt" narcissist that, are y'all actually that consistent?
#i always struggled with those narc subtype labels bcs it rlly depends#sometimes it's secretive & insecure#sometimes i rlly do just act like a stereotypical disney villain narc & it's not deep#it's usually “bpd + npd = covert narcissism” but i feel like that's only consistently the case for me when i have a fp?#looking up sources on google is Not Helpful (per usual). not like i particularly cared anyways? but i keep seeing mentions of covert & overt#in the tags#this is what i get for — according to my old therapist — having “inconsistency being (my) main personality trait” 🙏🙏#it's not just outward my baseline just changes a lot#i def act overt vs covert w different ppl depending on what i want out of my relationship with them. idk there's just a lotta factors so i#don't understand sticking to one label ?#someone feel free to explain or sumn#cluster b#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually narcissistic#covert npd#overt npd
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today's ep is fun ([Fondly] "Yes, Martin, you are my reason,") but im gonna take the time to complain about something minor from years ago, because when else will I get the opportunity?
occasionally people made (make? ive blocked most people who were hardcore about it so idk if they're still on it) posts arguing that Martin is a terrible boyfriend and person and Jon deserves better, and they always cite this part:
to say 'wow, how can Martin say that when he himself isn't very open either, the hypocrite!'
but if we remove the poorly edited out text, and look at the quote in its actual context...
Martin didn't just decide, 'hey, lets chide Jon on his emotional openness today'. Jon literally just read Martin's mind to know what he was thinking about - it's not dwelled on for too long, but imagine for a moment how fucking invasive that really is. compared to that, yeah, Jon doesn't share as much!
which isn't to say that he always should share everything and it's Jon's ''fault'' if he doesn't immediately tell Martin how he's feeling at every moment. just that, you know, communication has to come from both sides. so i think it was more than fair for Martin to express his concern about the imbalance, if Jon would have continued to just know what was in Martin's thoughts and feelings
#but he stopped! because they're actually doing quite well for the beginnings of a relationship during the apocalypse#Martin isn't perfect. not by a looong shot#mostly: being a bit insensitive to other people's feelings#i guess it's cause they're bfs now? and martin put up a good front about being a nice and caring guy#but actually.... he tries rlly hard but he iiisn't actually that good at the emotional stuff?#which is why he just hands out tea when something bad happened. maybe a little white lie#and sometimes that helps#but sometimes it doesn't#anyways.#tma#a mag a day#martin#beloved 💜💜💜#people were so psyched when he's a bit of a bitch until those traits don't immediately melt away in the light of Jon's Jon-ness#ANYWAYS. i should shut up. before i restart this damned discourse#tma s5#mag167
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every day i have to hold my tongue when m-cd-nnis shippers start sounding like frat guys with the way they talk about dennis' Secret Feelings toward mac. hey man. i don't actually think you get it. i don't think you understand what's going on between them.
#HEY MAN. I DONT THINK DENNIS ~SECRETLY WANTS IT~ AND TJAT ITS GOOD ACTUALLY WHEN HE ASSAULTS HIM. CAN YOU BE NORMAL.#ada speaks#guyssss dennis is just secretly gayyyy its fiiiine mac is making him come to terms with itttt#he actually really wants all this despite his verbal protests you guysssss#fuck taking him at his word obviously dennis doesn't know what he wants !!!#like my brother in christ. when dennis says. It's Never Gonna Happen. Not Willingly.#he means it. the willingly part IS the important part#when dennis HAS a choice and when mac is not actively REMOVING that choice#THEN he is like. fine with it#but you people don't seem to understand what it is that mac is doing that dennis is opposed to#is it rlly that hard to understand that mac putting dennis into these situations like in ddl and gets romantic is intentional on mac's part#dennis' issue is. Always. he doesn't like being TRAPPED. key word.#this is why he resists time and time again not just with mac but with everything else he fights against#he doesnt like being out of control. he doesn't like being controlled. its not even that he wants to be the one in control#it's for protection#so when mac traps him. intentionally. in a way that is premeditated. when he knows he cant trust mac#why in gods name would he WILLINGLY consent to literally anything#like you look at the implication and the obvious parallels there#where he is recreating how he was made to feel#and its specifically about being trapped. PHYSICALLY in this sense#and you look at the fucking scripts and you see how many goddamn times the word TRAPPED is used#[GESTURES BROADLY]#like for the last time. dennis is not resistant to mac bc he has these latent desires he is in denial about.#he's resistant to mac because he doesn't trust him and doesn't want to be assaulted.#its about power. but consistently we see that dennis Doesnt Want Real Power he just wants enough to protect himself#like for fucks sake. yes. if dennis consents then obviously he's going to be fine with it#the problem is that mac doesn't care enough to get consent#and very specifically circumvents it instead. den isn't like. overreacting. he's right djskdjfkkf
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I'm going to show up here a bit more often just because I really like talking to you and I think you are probably the easiest to approach but can you talk to me about Dobuno Awa more? If you want of course! I was actually checking the channel out earlier and I had you in mind the entire time I was just so amazed how underrated this composer was DESPITE NOT ONLY HAVING REALLY GOOD MUSIC BUT THE ART/CHARACTERS IS IMPRESSIVE.. UHH DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED BTW !! i'm not trying to force you to do anything you're not comfortable with You can ignore this ^_^; Take care of yourself! Keep your chin up
OH GOODNESS !!! YES !!!!!! YES . YES OH I WILL RAMBLE TO U ABOUT DOBU NO AWA !!!!!!!!!!!! YESS !!!!!!!!!!! :DDD
so . therez a lot i can talk about actually – dobu no awa actually haz quite a few seriez / songz that tie into one another
therez "The Whereabouts of Loa" . a muzical seriez thatz [currently] 4 episodez long [a prologue – "Who Evolved?" – and 3 episodez currently out] . but i don't actually know all too much about it – i hope i can get into it more in the future becauze the plot synopsiz on itz website [yes . the seriez haz a website that you should check out immediately] iz actually interesting
i dunno if you could specifically call thiz a seriez . but the Rana and Yuki seriez of songz that tie into one another ["Our Choices" . "Ah, this is so stupid" and "Emotions are out of stock" az far az im aware] iz another great one – all the songz are phenomenal and ive tied them with multiple au characterz and i would talk about it to death but we have bigger fish to fry
again . i don't know if thiz even countz az a "seriez" and . if it doez . then i dunno itz name . but the Rabbit seriez [the one featuring Toto – songz tying in being "Carrot Vomit REMAKE" . "A solitary built product" and im 70% sure there should be another one but i don't know] – i dont actually know about itz story much but PLEAZE LISTEN TO BOTH OF THEM ........ I LITERALLY LOVE CARROT VOMIT AND I HOPE I CAN GET AROUND TO TALKING ABOUT A SOLITARY BUILT PRODUCT TOO BECAUZE I RLLY WANNA MAKE DRAWINGZ BASED ON THEM ............ AND HOPEFULLY SOON
but a seriez that i CAN talk about iz "You will never forget me" [featuring the songz "Me in a deep sleep" . "I wanna keep thinking like this" . "Closing the imaginary reception" . "You will never forget me" and "An Unfamiliar Successor" so far] ....... and talk about it EXTENSIVELY ......... !!!!!!!!!!
okay so let me break down the general plot ;
so . therez theze two girlz – Michi and Popo – who are friendz ; Michi really lookz up to Popo and seez her az infinitely better in every single way than she doez herself – thiz love for her . however . also haz an underlying frustration . az she iz incredibly jealouz of who she iz too ; that . however . mostly stemz from the fact that shez afraid that . "the moment she'll take her eyez off" Popo . she'll "fly away" – "it could happen to anyone . you're out of my league"
so Michi findz a computer program thatz modeled really similarly to Popo – named Madoguchi – and Michi essentially uzez her az a way to "recreate" Popo ; thiz backfirez horribly . az Madoguchi makez Michi confrontat herself – "becoming her" and showing her all the flawz she haz . convincing her that thiz love of herz iz only envy that she triez to disguize . and the demand to "Destroy her" soon becomez "Destroy myself"
so Michi . feeling incredibly isolated from Popo . consumed by her envy and jealousy over her friend . endz her life
Popo – finding thiz out – iz obviously heartbroken to loze her friend . and enterz a deep grief ; thatz when Itoguchi comez in
Itoguchi letz her know that she waz "the only person Michi depended on" when she waz alive . and how Popoz neglect made her kill herself . making her the murderer
[sidenote : i have a feeling that Itoguchi and Madoguchi are either the same person – though . admittedly . unlikely – or somehow work together]
therez also the seriez "She Melted Into the Night" [featuring "She Melted Into the Night" . "??? Melted Into the Night" . "She Hasn't Melted Into the Night" and "My Ruined Garden"] but . once again . i haven't really looked into the seriez
AND THEREZ TONZ OF OFF HAND RELEASEZ THAT MAKE ME CRAZY :
az you know . therez "Irresponsible and strange taste" . "Farewell Human Relations" . "Fly Away, You Turn" and "I Should Be Unfinished" that i relate to IMMENSELY
[sidenote again : im like 80% sure that "I Should Be Unfinished" and "Implicit Failure" feature Kazuki and tie together . but don't take what i say at face value]
im also a huge lover of "For you, An Empty Shell" . "Isn't That A Good Idea?!" and ESPECIALLY "Eh? You're serious? Wait!"
therez "A Cold Town" . "A Stepping Stone Between Friends" . "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" n "Hyperventilation" that are like . my favez when it comez to non-vocaloid dobu no awa songz
AND . TO TOP THIZ OFF . i literally am the biggest fan of "Kill me" and "The Scenery I Witnessed Before I Jumped" – therez two really great coverz of them that you can find in one of dobu no awaz playlistz and you can find their lyricz on hiz fandom wiki page too ; I RELATE TO THEZE TWO SONGZ ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AND ITZ SUCH A SHAME THAT THEY GOT PRIVATED ...... I WANT THEM BACK ......... !!!!!!!!! >X[
anywhoziez . thankz for letting me ramble extensively about thiz underrated artist and the stuff they make ; you've probably taken like . a monthz worth of rambling about him outta me XD
take care of urself !!! remember that im alwayz here for u when you need support !!! <33
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#giggling and kicking my feet#youre like the only person whoz ever rlly cared enough to ask me about dobu no awa n hiz muzic#that actually meanz so much to me#im absolutely exhausted after today . but coming back home to thiz made everything ive endured worth it#X3#im super happy to hear that you actually find it eazy to talk to me – ive alwayz thought of myself az being rather difficult to put up with#you're such a wonderful person and im sorry for being super exhausted#also i hope you don't mind the random tangent i went on with You will never forget me#i just really love thiz seriez and ive never had the opportunity to ramble about it to anyone before#asks#answered asks#my ask box#my inbox#spooky's postbox#long post
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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔
#sylph.txt#everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is#but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho#idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past#to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work#it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool#it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up#we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party#but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao#(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is#but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him#i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did#and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself#w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party#similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter#idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny#but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with#that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao
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youtube
see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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Hendrix (Puppet) and Koji (Loon) !!
#i rlly like how hendrix came out#idk maybe it's the more dinamic pose but i really like it :3#but then i got lazy with koji lmao i just copypasted the accesories from the first drawing i made of him#fnafhs#fhs#fhsz3r0#puppet#loon#my art#hendrix emily#koji jigen#(as far as i know) jigen is a name not last mame but i rlly like it and i didn't find any last name i liked so let's pretend#i mean probably no one cared until I pointed it out but I live with the fear of someone coming like “uhmm actually 🤓👆”#and... he doesn't even appear in the au i don't really care about him lmao#but yeah yay
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