#actually feel good now which is weird | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago

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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

#wax seal #crafts #wax stamp #stationery #Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night #sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together #with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite #since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa #the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax #did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm #alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because #otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking #set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife #and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh #ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors #of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c #RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I #think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give #everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the #visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven #city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating #somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do #stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol #elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other #thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot #though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh #waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool #Tis Always The Weather

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iraprince · 9 months ago

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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

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sendmyresignation · 5 months ago

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one thing about my steadfast belief in the beautiful inevitably of mc5 is it will remain unwavering because i have been through harder times. i was a believer when no one had faith (2020)

#its so weird how many people it seems are new and therefore were not around #for the deep well of cynicism which existed before the tour started #like it was a sharp outlier to not be fatalistic that the reunion was 'selling out' and would not be satisfying #i personally felt like i was in the trenches like. we have every reason to believe this will actually be good did you also watch a summonin #legit insane retrospectively bc now people are on the dash regularly saying it was life changing nd ncredible and the best they ever sounde #lmao it is just personally v funny. im glad it worked out! its the best case scenario! but i feel like perhaps we could all learn smthing..#(the virtues of patience and low level trust in the creative endeavors of people whove proven to be thoughtful)#my posts

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mistninja · 1 year ago

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Big fan of characters who are somewhat aware that they are side characters and they struggle with that

#that quiz made me think of idelle black sails #which made me think of wakaba rgu my best friend wakaba rgu #like idelle wins at the end right #and her 'you killed my friend' monologue is so good because it makes u think of her and that girl as actual people #and not just extras that the main cast can kill without affecting anyone #idelle knows shes no max no anne no eleanor but that doesnt make her any less of a person #and then theres wakaba who seems so detached from the weirdness of the duels and is 'just' normal #but then it gets turned around and u see how wakaba feels about the whole situation #ugh wakaba duel my beloved #and in the finale u see that wakaba has taken on the role of utena somewhat #which is crazy? like what does that mean #the world akio constructed is falling apart and the cast is starting to move forward and outside of the neverending cycle #and wakaba now goes from the normie friend to taking on utenas role as an active player?#is she simply redoing utenas story or something else

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why-the-heck-not · 4 months ago

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”having cats is so cozy :3 they’re so cute aww look at her purr aw what a sweetheart”

i’m collecting pieces of a bird into a plastic bag on this fine sunday evening

#catsitting rn for my family’s cats and like they’re not even fully outdoor cats but somehow still manage at this (the other one is actually #a good hunter & as grossed out as I am abt this I feel like a proud mom #like yes u go my lil beast #they have like a limited outdoor access but sometimes birds fly in and like she’ll get them if they do)#(good thing I've watched lots of House md recently so obv now convinced I have every parasite & bird disease etc. under the sun)#(in abt a week I'll have weird symptoms and go into a hospital and they'll think it's lupus or something until the cranky middle-aged #vicodin addicted malpractice man runs into the room and goes ''were u !! around dead birds???!!!! recently !" and that's how I won't die #I'll just have a lungful of worms or something (which is a very real episode in that show that horrified me to no end))#anyways I digress: everyone say ''good job'' to her she's a great hunter and bois we're feasting tonight! (gave them extra chicken wet food #in hopes that'll fool her into thinking that was her catch-of-the-day (felt bad abt collecting away her trophy))#july 2024 #2024

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bananasfosterparent · 5 months ago

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Got to my favorite part of Efenity's playthroughs in my current one 👌🏼😩

Astarion's ascension, the cold and unsexy sex scene (that's suspiciously genuine, intimate, and tender hmm) and the turning of Efenity. <3

The other fun part is finally getting to dress them up as Lord and Lady. Taking Astarion from vagabond-looking rogue to commanding Lord with OTT drip, and taking Efie from leather-clad streetrat to the glam baddie she has strived for her whole life but couldn't afford to be lmao

ALSO random, but this time, I brought Jaheira along instead of Gale, just to see what she'd say (if anything) and it's cute how much confidence she has in my Tav and Astarion to be "good" people 🤣 She really doesn't know them at all. She isn't there during his ascension in Efie's canon, but it was fun just to see what she would say.

#ascended astarion #lord astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion and tav #tav x astarion #bg3 #bg3 as #bg3 screenshots #jaheira #bg3 jaheira #efenity #yes I saw someone call the AA scene “cold” and “no joy” which is so weird to me #I mean if you feel that way about it that's fine but why talk about it as some sort of insult to people who DO like it #if you feel some kinda way about AA and his love scene that's a good thing #enjoy what you enjoy and hate what you hate #but why you gotta mock those of us who actually like it lol #ascending him is such a cathartic joy for me and the whole rp with efenity is really comforting to me #especially right now while my family and I are going through something really hard #but that's getting personal #just wish people respected others who like things they dont like #we gotta go back to kindergarten basics I guess

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 1 year ago

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four walls playlist

#wow i feel weirdly self conscious about sharing this actually 😅#it's such a random assortment of songs lol #i would like to note that often the music i write to isn’t the same as the music i listen to for me #idk if any other writers here are the same about this??#but yeah the stuff on this playlist is really just whatever has helped me get into the right mood or headspace for the fic #for example #inhaler is on that list and i find them weirdly good to write to for this fic but also i literally never listen to them in my own time #same goes for coldplay #but then also there are obviously some artists i ADORE with all my heart on that list too (hello mansions and qotsa)#also maybe this is weird but i don't actually listen to a lot of miles/am stuff while i'm writing this fic #the stuff i do is all from just before/after the time period the fic is set #which i find SUPER helpful for getting into their headspaces #and i don't like to muddle it much with things they wrote later if that makes any sense??#anyway #i'll stop rambling about it now #hope anyone who checks it out enjoys!! 😘#ps #new chapter of four walls is coming very sooooooooooon!#milex #milex fic #four walls #lulu posts

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crimeronan · 10 months ago

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side effect of having my hydroxychloroquine work really well is that i'm forgetting what it felt like to be Really Horrifically Sick. both because of the emotional distance and because of my general memory issues. the memory issues are a LOT worse concerning Times When I Was Horrifically Sick.

so i'm actually pretty grateful to my past self for the amount of time i spent oversharing here. if i scroll back like seven months in my autoimmune tag i can find posts of me essentially going "eh, i'm sleeping for 22 hours a day but i don't really care anymore bc i've accepted i'm gonna die" and "life sux. can't breathe or think or feel my chest but that's constant so i don't wanna go to the ER about it AGAIN" and "docs took 14 vials of blood 4 x-rays several lung images several lung tests and an EKG before i even left the hospital today. even tho they havent gotten my test results back yet" and i'm like god Damn.

I REALLY LIVED LIKE THIS????????

#if you have ever been the favorite favored patient at an american hospital. you know.#presumably triage is similar in other countries too i just know the american experience is very tied up in. cost benefit analysis #you have to be in BAD shape to be taken seriously at american hospitals. even the good ones. (especially the good ones??)#if you're waiting in the ER for four hours bc of triage it sucks. if you wait for 60 seconds because of triage uh.#You Are In Deep Trouble. You Are In Much Deeper Trouble Than An Annoying Waiting Room #WOW i was so fucking sick. i'm just. flabbergasted.#like i know intellectually that these things happened and have vague memories of all the testing processes and stuff #but i don't Feel it anymore. those things happened to a different person. please god let me have hydroxychloroquine forever #do you guys remember me being sick?? i think some of you actually might remember it better than i do which is. WEIRD.#anyway. back to fic editing now #autoimmune tag

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motherforthefamicom · 1 year ago

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