#actually correct quotes

[miss-morrigan]

Jujutsu Kaisen Incorrect Quotes! (Part 1?)

All of these are Yuuji and Sukuna to start, ill add more characters in the future if you guys like these enough ❤

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Yuuji, throwing a pokeball at Sukuna: Sukuna, I choose you!

Sukuna, not looking up from their book and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.

_____

Yuuji: Can you pass the salt?

Sukuna: Can you pass away?

Yuuji: Too much salt.

_____

Sukuna: Come on, Yuuji! How any times do I have to apologize?

Yuuji: Once!

Sukuna: ...No.

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Yuuji: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Sukuna: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

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Yuuji: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Sukuna: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Yuuji:

Sukuna: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

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Yuuji: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Sukuna: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

_____

Yuuji: Punch me in the face.

Sukuna: ...Punch you?

Yuuji: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?

Sukuna: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

_____

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Yuuji: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife punk ass and spit in my face?

Yuuji: Oh my god, you have Sukuna.

_____

Yuuji: Sukuna, you need to react when people cry!

Sukuna: I did. I rolled my eyes.

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Yuuji: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Sukuna!

Sukuna: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

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Sukuna, appearing on Yuuji's hand: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

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Sukuna: What goes up but never comes down?

Yuuji: The amount of stress you're bringing me.

[weirdthingskid]

Quotes from my favorite Odd Squad character!

In no particular order...

"And I was starting to think we didn't have anything in common!"

"Pencil room."

"I ate a lot of garlic bread! 😀 So. Much. Garlic bread... 😦"

"Argh! Too slow!"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Well, there was this one time in Paris- never mind. Just zap us."

"aaaaAAAAAHHHHH-"

The rest is under a read more because this is long

"I don't use them! I just make 'em! GO WOLF PACK-"

"I like you." "I like me too :)"

"Oh. So you're that guy..." (NOT romantic!)

"Whoops. I've been working out a ton."

"First of all, I don't think you're fixing that desk..."

"No no no, you see, I said the opposite-"

"I'm starting a dirt farm in New Mexico."

"...too slow again."

"I have an idea." (Stares off into space w/o elaborating) "Are you going to tell me what it is?" "Oh, uh, yes, follow me."

"I made a wax figure of myself!"

"What are you doing?" "Destroying a gadget. I need the parts to build other gadgets, and destroying this one will be good fun. aaAAAHH-"

"I'm so bad at goodbyes. I always talk too much. See, I'm doing it right now!"

"But what happens when your Oonabot becomes smarter you, takes over your life while the actual, real Oona is out getting lunch?" "Uh, what's going on?" *RUNS*

"It's like my hands are covered in butter! Nervous butter, not tasty..."

"I CAN'T STOP DROPPING THINGS!!!"

"Help... me..."

"Take a look at my calculator-inator!" "That's a regular calculator." "Just--just LET ME HAVE THIS ONE!!"

This girl is not sane seriously

"Therefore, while destroying this gadget is likely a mistake, it'll probably be the best decision of my life, so if everyone will please stand back, this sound is likely to be loud! AAAAAHHHH-" (crash)

"Well uh, see you later!" "What? No!" (drags her backwards)

"All I know is that I can't see color anymore. But that was okay, cause I just bonk the back of my head and bam! I can see color again!"

"I also programmed her to laugh at all my jokes." "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" "She doesn't really know what jokes are!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" "I'll... turn that feature off now." "Ha-ha-ha-ha-"

"I made this one if I want a healthy snack. I just reach into her ear, a carrot, and I can make ranch dressing come out of her nose!"

"Wait..." (hits her head) "Color went out again."

"Ohlm, please leave my lab."

"And now that I control all scientists, I shall be the one to rule the world! MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Joking. Joking. So joking. I'm gonna smash these!"

"🎵 Everything's cooool..."

"🎶 Everything's gonna be fiiine!" "Please stop singing."

"I thought I might record this if I'm doing... less well... but yeah, like she said, I'm coo-"

"🎶 Everything's not coool..."

"Let the unboxing begin! I love the sound when you rip open tape! Sounds so good. Ooh, crinkly! Box inside a box, pretty cool..."

"Let the unboxing begin again! I love the sound when you rip open tape! Sounds so good. Ooh, crinkly! Box inside a box, pretty cool..."

"You can destroy that thing." "Crush it." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-" (thump)

[c-k-mack]

Boyle: Diaz and Peralta, my fantasy threesome….. of cops on a case

[dandelionsprout42]

Robin: "You are not cowboys, and there are no mummies in a pyramid scheme!!"

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

The BAU IS brat.

criminal minds out of context 1/?

[softmintpurejoy]

Diana: Yeah, I get it, mama's boy

Sasha: Diana, I don't have a mom

[archivewriter1ont]

Rex, a few weeks after Anaxes: Hey, guys.

Hunter: Plan 87! Keep Away!

Crosshair and Tech: *turn into bodyguards*

Wrecker: *snatches Echo off his feet and holds him in the air*

Echo: *completely unfazed* Hi, Rex.

Rex: What on earth are you doing?

Wrecker: No backsies! You gave him away so he’s ours now!

Echo: They think you’re gonna repossess me or something.

Rex:

Rex: Echo, are you okay? Do you need help? Blink twice if you need help.

Echo: I’m loved, Rex. Slightly squished, but very loved.

(This is actually it's own fic now.... Plan 87: Keep Away.)

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition

[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[weebssecretattic]

Meanwhile, his wife at the grocery store: achoo*

Hawks: I lost my wife have you seen her?!!

Random Hero on the street: What does she look like?

Hawks, crying: BEAUTIFUL.

hawks exact reaction 👉🏻

creds to the owner of this masterpiece pic. ❤️

[until-i-set-him-free]

Saw this and couldn't resist. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sysig]

How far did you get? (Patreon)

[marksandrec]

Essek to Caleb: "look babe, floor gays™"

[dawnthefox24]

Vincent: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Rody: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Vincent: *feels his face heat up*I— Vincent: *looks away from Rody clearing his throat a bit*I don’t know the correct answer to that question, and please don't ever say that again Rody...

[ramen8008]

Okay so.... how's Kaz gonna propose. Because I am sure that no matter how much Inej wants to she will 100% make sure it's Kaz who proposes. Because that's how she was raised and she won't let anything the world threw at her from thinking she deserves any less.

But like...

Kaz: so I have a... proposition for you. This benefits both of us I mean there's tax benefits and all and I believe that if you say yes to this it will...uh be very... favourable to you.

Jesper: .... You know you are practicing for a proposal right?

Wylan: This is a marriage proposal right?

Kaz: yes.

*Nina in the corner shaking from trying not to laugh.*

Wylan: Maybe try being a little more....I don't know...direct?

Kaz: I am always direct.

Wylan: why can't he simply just say "will you marry me?" And we can give him some sweet little speech to memorize

Jesper: No we can't do that. Inej will know he's simply reading off a script. She needs a proposal that comes from Kaz

Nina dying in the corner holding back her laughter.

Jesper: okay try being really straight forward...ask her in one sentence maybe?

Kaz: will you sign this legal bond between us tha-

Jesper: wait right stop there.

Wylan: just ask the question and be more... enthusiastic

Kaz: will you sign this legal bond between us tha-

Jesper: Okay stop right there. We can make this work

Wylan: Yes try being more...happy about it.

Kaz: *stares at Wylan*

Wylan: Nevermind... Saints! He's never gonna get this if he doesn't even try. Do you even want to propose?!?

Kaz: *Glares* Of course I do why else would I even bother being here with you-

Jesper: Okay shut it! Wylan I need a glass of water this is going to take a while. And Kaz do as we say or you're not getting my blessing

Kaz: I don't need your blessing. What are you? Her father?

Jesper: If you really think Inej will marry you without our blessing then you shouldn't even bother proposing

Kaz: *sighs in frustration* fine

Nina, pokes in: yeah he's not getting my blessing

Kaz: What?! Why?!

Nina: I am sorry I might be mistaken but weren't you the one who referred to Inej as your "investment". *Blinks innocently*

Kaz: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!!

Nina: Your fault that you just happen to call the love of your life that, maybe if you weren't such a dense idiot-

Jesper: I said shut it! Nina go back to your corner and Kaz I need you to pay close attention. Make it short and simple where you ask her to marry you and also tell her how much you love and cherish her, alright? Can you do that?

Kaz: *sighs* yeah...

Jesper: okay start!

Kaz: ....

Kaz: I want to-

Jesper: wait...what was that pause at the start

Kaz: well you said to keep it short so I was shortening it.

Jesper: what do you mean "it"

Kaz: I never speak without filtering and around Inej there's too much to filter so I keep it short but since there's so much I want to say sometimes it takes awhile to gather my thoughts.

Jesper: and these things are like what? Compliments?

Kaz:....sort of I guess. More complicated though.

Jesper: YES! THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO! Tell her all you think about her without filtering or changing anything. Just let your heart speak for itself. Don't think about it

Kaz: What do you mean "don't think about it" that's what I d-

Jesper: that's the problem. You dwell on it too much and don't let yourself be vulnerable but you love Inej right? So what's a better way to show it then be exactly that! Omg I am a genius

Kaz: No, you are an idiot. Why would I want to be vulnerable

Jesper: To show Inej you care! That you are willing to let down you guard for her

Kaz: That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard. I did that once, I spoke without thinking. It was fucking embarrassing

Wylan:*raises an eyebrow* and what happened?

Kaz: ... Shit he's right

Jesper: SEE I was right, the last time you did that you got Inej

Kaz: I still think that's a stupid idea

Nina: and you wonder why it took you so long to get anywhere. You need to show her love and romance but since you dwell so much on your thoughts you treat her like everyone else MEANING you treat her like shit.

Jesper: Shush Nina! Don't say that to him, poor guy just wants to propose.

Wylan: Kaz like you said you have a lot to say about Inej to her that you don't. So when you propose just tell her everything you want her to know. Don't dwell on it or anything just listen to your heart and speak

Nina: yeah like he has a heart. My waffles are capable of more human emotions than him.

Kaz: FINE! WHATEVER I'LL DO IT ON MY OWN!

Jesper: just listen to what Wylan said. We know Inej and as much as you might think otherwise we want this to work.

Nina: I-

Jesper gives Nina a look

Nina: What? I just want Inej to be happy and if it's with him then fine

Kaz: Whatever I'm going

Wylan: Just remember! Let your heart speak and don't think about it!

---------------------------------------------------------

Kaz:*thinking* shit shit shit shit

Inej: *Lands behind him*

Kaz *turns around*: Hello... hi? Hey?

Inej: *amused* ...hey?

Kaz: ...

Inej *smiles*: so why did you call me here?

Kaz: *thinking*: shit she's smiling what do I do

Inej: Kaz?

Kaz: *thinking* shit okay I need to stop thinking, just say anything that comes to mind, okay you can do it

Inej: Kaz? Are you alr-

Kaz: Iloveyou!

Inej: *confused* ...thanks? I love you too. But seriously are you alright Kaz? You look like you're about to pass out.

Kaz: No I'm not. I just need to tell you something

Inej: okay.... I'm listening.

Kaz, deep breathes: okay. Here goes nothing

Kaz: I need to tell you that you are lovely and brave and better than anything I deserved. That I am twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that that I can't pull myself together into some semblance of a man for you. That without meaning to, I'd begun to lean on you, look for you, to need you near. I love your laugh and if I could bottle the sound and get drunk on it every night I would. It terrifies me.

I memorized your favorite flower, favorite song, favorite sweet, just to see you smile. Your smile is one thing I would die to earn again. No saint has ever looked after me...but you have, Inej. I want you, Inej. And I'll have you anyway you want, without gloves, head turn your way so we can kiss. I'll give you myself without armor for you to have.

Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, will you do me the honor of marrying you.

[mvltifxndomchaos]

Kidnapper: I have your girlfriend.

Lockwood: What? I don’t have a girlfriend...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Lockwood: Oh my god, you have Lucy.

inspo

[nimrism]

merlin: i challenge you to an arm wrestle!

arthur: oh, you're ON!

merlin:

arthur:

merlin:

arthur: you're just... holding my hand?