#actual kinda vent under cut

[morp]

Sucks to not really trust your parents with stuff like "why won't paypal work for me", "what does this mean when registering for classes", etc etc., because they'll probably use it to further restrict your life somehow, or in some cases just monitor it firmly, making it no longer a way to do things. My automatic next choice is obviously an adult friend who might know more, but then I'm thrust into the awful situation of feeling like I'm being a nuisance treating them like a surrogate parent

Which is NOT what I'm doing! And I KNOW this is a me problem + skill issue. But it feels so much like it, and I don't ever want to put my friends in a situation where they feel like that, and it's awful, and hhhhhh

And yes I know research with the internet is a thing. But if that gives me no results? Back to square one.

[nompunhere]

Can you tell more about Predatory Instinct AU? Or it's something we'll know more about later? 👀👀👀

okay, so getting to this almost two months late, but I feel like rambling sooooo

basically, it's an H/K AU idea I had a while back that mainly focuses around the N/ailmasters. The basic premise is that some species of bug have a deep-seated instinct to hunt and consume prey, much greater than is normal for a "civilized" bug. Having the instinct is looked down upon in H/allownest, since everyone's all "the King brought us above our instincts, if you can't manage yours you must be lesser" and all that shiet. Those who are confirmed to have it are monitored closely by the authorities to prevent any... mishaps.

I guess the Hunter would have it, but we all already knew that, and Hornet probably has it to a lesser extent. But I came up with the idea for the N/ailbros, and they're who all the Thoughts I've had about it focus on. The storyline would follow some of their struggles and misadventures in dealing with this instinct, trying to sate it while not alerting the authorities. Lotta moral conflict in there. They don't all get large beasts to hunt, or have a conveniently bite-sized friend around to help them stave off the hunger. They may do things they aren't exactly proud of. (But hey, at least they aren't killing people. Hunter.) So uhhhhhh yeh! :>

The thing is, I am very hesitant about my idea for what would be the first fic in following this storyline, because the instinct kicks in when they're like. teens. and I know a large portion of the community is vehemently against characters that are minors being involved in vore stories or art, and I'm worried about getting yelled at, even if it's entirely non-sexual. like I mean I guess I could make it so that they're adults in the eyes of their legal system when the first scene happens, but also hmmnenmmnhemnmmeh. It could maybe work, but it's.. mm. I could also just skip it and build the story through context given in the future scenes, but also. Hh.

I feel like it's important that the story starts where it does, and how it does, and why it does. It happens the way it happens for a reason, they don't know what the instinct is or how to sate it until one of them reaches the breaking point and acts on it, and only then do they learn more about it and how to manage it more constructively. like maybe they could be young adults, but it. it make more sense to me if they're.. not quite there yet

also the fact that it's Sly, their adoptive pheckin father, who's the only prey around who 1. is small enough without needing shrinking phuckery, 2. cares about them and would go out of his way to support them through this, and 3. can and would keep a secret of this magnitude for them. but that's. a whole other thing.

tl;dr I am Scared but also I don't want to change my story just out of fear but also also I don't even know if I'll ever get around to writing it so maybe it doesn't pheckin matter anyway I dunno;;;

yeah maybe there was. uhm. a Reason I held off on this ask for a while, besides just procrastination. needed to yell into the void for a minute ig.

[nomairuins]

had a dream ehere the entire population of the earth was being tortured by the devil and he was like um teehee game ^_^ if at leastt half of you survive the next year ill leave u alone ^_^ and we were like . Fine but you have to give us 24 hours warning before you do anything. and he wa like okie. but this was insanely stressful for me bc i was trying to keep my family safe when my mom cant walk very fast and like. little man. yk. very stressful. idk how it concluded i woke up

[lusalemaart]

🥛🍔

[mythicmanuscripts]

SUB!AEMOND HEADCANNONS

Hello lads! Sub!Aemond lives rent free in my brain so I have decided to dump some head cannons for my thoughts on it. If you like what you read here, would like me to expand on some thoughts or would like to request an imagine/blurb, then check out my blog!

Needless to say, NSFW content under the cut.

Aemond tries to seem dominant at first, especially when you first met him. But that is very much just a facade. The first time you kiss, you give his hair a little pull and he whines and whimpers and just melts.

The moment you give him an order, no matter how small, he will do it instantly. Like, he'll be pretending to be in control but then you ask him to pour your wine and instantly he's doing it, and slapping the servant's hand out of the way when they go to do it because you asked him!!

Once he's done whatever you asked of him, he looks at you. He tries to seem indifferent, but he's watching you very closely to see your reaction, he can't relax until you've thanked him and praised him. If you don't praise him, he will think that he did badly.

Speaking of praise, he THRIVES on praise. From the first time you complemented him, he's hooked. Even the smallest complement or praise will make him struggle to hide his smile.

Also, once you start to praise him regularly he just... stops caring about what anyone else to say about him? He's not trying to impress Allicent or Otto anymore, not at all. As long as you're happy with him, he needs absolutely nothing else.

He LOVES being manhandled? He never expected to like it, until one day you're kissing and you just kinda move him to whatever position you want and just melts. He loves it, he will let you do whatever you want with his body.

I actually don't think it would take very long for Aemond to submit and be vulgar? And I think this because I think that the moment you start to praise him and support him he just... he's hooked. You call him pretty and walk away and instantly he's running after you, not wanting to without you for even a moment.

He's so desperate for that love and affection that when you offer it he just can't resist, and then couple that with you actually taking charge and telling him what to do? Marriage. Marriage right now.

alright alright let's do some real NSFW absolute filth now

the day Aemond discovers he can make you cum by giving you head is the day Aemond discovers his new favourite pass time.

Not only it is just very enjoyable for him but he gets to please you?? He gets to please the person who loves him and takes care of him?? He has that person moaning his name?? God he needs it.

He will beg to give you head, will cry and whimper and shake if you tell him to fuck you immediate. He only stops whining when you promise he can use his tongue to clean you up after.

He loves when you're rough, push him against the wall, pull his hair, choke him. He just melts under your touch.

However, and this is very very very important, absolutely no humiliation. None. Zero. He can't handle that, he lets you manhandle him because he knows you love him. Treat him harsh while saying the sweetest things. Call him your sweet pretty boy while choking him.

He loves to vent to you about his day, but he wants to do it between your thighs. Aemond's ideal way to end the day is to crawl into bed, licking and sucking you to his heart's content while he complains about how fucking stupid the small council is every time he takes a breath.

I have more thoughts but this is already longer than I thought so let me know if you want more!

[apocalypse-shuffle]

JASON TODD | RED HOOD (generalized fanon | maybe wfa)

—

“Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow” (Jason Todd x Fem!Reader)

| Jason and you need to talk, the incident with Robin hanging over your necks like a relationship guillotine, but days later Jason’s realizing that shit is easier said than done.

| SFW, pre-established relationship, secret identity, reader’s hair is long enough to go into cornrows

| pic source: right= Batman Annual #25, middle= Red Hood: The Lost Days, and end= Batman: Under The Red Hood • all comics

| part of the meet the bats series

| 1k+ words

It’s been three days.

Three days of them easing around one another. Of this awkward balance of you not knowing how to best broach the topic and Jason knowing that but being too tense to push. For the last three days he’s been actively fighting the need to cut and run until it was silently agreed upon that you’d both just ignore that night and the appearance of Robin entirely.

That’s what you’re both doing right now actually.

Rarely, in your case, there’s nothing filling the silence around you. No music, no podcast, you yourself aren’t even cutting through the silence with your own voice. The only sounds between the two of you are the drone of the stove vent, the clicking of the oven, and the knife in Jason’s hand clinking against the wooden cutting board he’d gotten you last year as a housewarming gift; the sound of it knocking through his head like a taunt with every cut.

You’re keeping to yourselves in your little corners of the kitchen, a crude facsimile of your usual laughter-filled Sunday Dinner prep.

“Can you chop the parsley for me now, Jay?”

Jason hums and moves to fulfill the request, barely moving an inch to where the wicker produce basket is chilling on the counter and grabbing the herb.

He chops it all in under a minute and turns to swipe the hand full or so from the board to the bowl of ricotta, shredded mozzarella, and seasonings you’re mixing but when you turn to him his brain stalls a bit.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen you before now. This was your place and you’d greeted him at the door, but even the way you’d said ‘hi’ to each other had felt weighted. There’d been a slew of unsaid emotions locked behind both of your words but apparently catching sight of you now - slightly frizzy week old cornrows and a smear of hastily wiped tomato sauce on your cheek - is what finally unlocks his jaw.

You hold the bowl out for him to scrape the parsley in, not looking at him as you talk; your eyes, instead, on the stove top.

“I need you to taste the sauce before I add the ground beef, it’s kinda sour—”

“—Did you mean it?”

When you pause to blink over at him he finally remembers to scrape the parsley in.

“What?” Your face screws up before your head shakes. You put the bowl down on the counter behind you so you can cross your arms.

He does the same with his board, clearing his throat.

“That love and trust stuff you said the other night? That wasn’t just some shock induced rambling, right?”

The way you purse your lips bellies your frustration, but whatever his face is doing ultimately make you sigh.

“Yes, I meant it.”

He nods, doing a horrible job of looking like he’s not on the verge of bolting going off of the stare you’re pinning him with.

“Great,” he murmurs. He shifts, crossing his arms himself and leaning back against the counter. “I meant it when I said ‘love you too’…by the way.”

In response all you do is stare. Jason figures that’s fair and stays still under your scrutiny.

A minute of silence passes, only broken when you laugh a little and Jason can’t help but scoff at himself too.

“Fuck, you’re a mess.” You sigh, “I know, Jason. You wouldn’t’ve said it the first time if you didn’t mean it.” You raise your hand to make a so-so motion. “Run away maybe, but, you know?”

“Sorry,” he offers.

You shrug.

“Uh huh. So we talking about the Robin little brother thing now or…?”

“No, we can talk,” he cracks his neck, “You do deserve to know after everything with Dami and his sword.”

You cringe suddenly and Jason can guess why; waking with a sword to your throat will do that to you.

“I do, don’t I?”

“Hn,” Jason chuckles, but when he holds his hand out to you he’s holding his breath.

For a moment he’s really worried you’ll stare at his hand like it’s some kind of venomous snake and blow him off - he’s been distant, he gets it - but you only hesitate for a second before slipping your darker hand into his.

After that it’s a whole lot easier for you two to gravitate towards each other, colliding like two uncoordinated magnets in your haste.

Jason just holds you after that. Let’s the balm that’s rubbing his cheek against your soft hair and feeling your breathing so close with your arms around his shoulders wash over him as one of you slowly works y’all into a sway.

“The next time one of these things happen it cannot take three days for me to get an explanation, Jay.” Slowly one of your hands runs down his arm till you can tap the back of his hand, immediately he turns it over for you.

“I know,” he murmurs, “I’ll work on the confrontation thing.”

Your hand fits perfectly into his and squeezes once your fingers lace.

“You do that.” You press a kiss into his shoulder, drawing a low hum from him, and he can feel you smile against him before you continue. “I will also try making it more clear to you that I’m open to talk to, okay?”

“Yeah,” Jason agrees, pulling you closer and wrapping you tighter in his arms. He tenses up a little. “Is the stove—?”

“Stove’s good,” you squeeze his hand, “the lasagna noodles are still boiling so you’ve got a good eight minutes.”

You look up to smile at him - only somewhat strained - and Jason goes in for a short kiss. You’d said you weren’t going anywhere but he knows how overwhelming this whole thing can be.

“Alright, but you gotta promise not to freak,” he stresses.

You nod.

“Okay,” he clears his throat and makes sure to very carefully look into your eyes. “Most of my…’family’ are vigilantes. Including me.”

He leaves out the ‘sort of’ that he feels the need to tact on to the end of that sentence. He’s heaping a lot onto you as is and it wasn’t like you weren’t around when he first wreaked havoc on Bruce and overhauled Gotham’s criminal underbelly. He doesn’t regret it exactly, but it was still a point of contention.

“Right,” you nod before pausing. The way you look at him, mouth dropping open with a mixture of awe and something apprehensive, isn’t promising. “You’re not…Batman are you? Or one of them?”

Jason’s familiar with the theories that Gothamites make up about them - it came with the territory - but the way you dropped your voice to whisper that last question throws him. He would’ve never guessed you were such a conspiracist. Let alone a multiple Batmen truther. The theory wasn’t exactly wrong, but it certainly didn’t get the majority of the cowl switches correct.

He starts to laugh, only quelled after a slew of moments by the scowl that flashes across your face.

“No,” he chuckles. He wasn’t in the cowl for long at least. The grin he throws you manages to thaw that scowl at least a bit. “And thank god for small mercies.”

“Ah,” you tilt your head, “well - I mean as long as you’re not a rogue or like the Red Hood or anything then it’s not like it’s the end of the world,” you giggle to yourself.

Jason falls silent

When you look back to him, noticing the way he’s half cringing, your eyes widen and your mouth drops open.

“Shut the fuck up!” The beginnings of what might be a grin curve the surprised ‘o’ shape of your mouth as you take a step back. “You’re lying!”

Your eyes stay wide and your mouth fully forms into a wide grin. You smack him on the arm. Jason fights not to make a displeased sound at you taking your warmth away.

“You’re fucking lying— wait!” Your hands come up to frame your face. “Oh my god. What- what does this mean for our relationship?”

A sting goes straight up his spine and Jason surges forward to wrap his hands around your wrists, shaking his head.

“Nothing hopefully,” he says, “this doesn’t have to change anything if you don’t want it to. I’m still me, you’ll just be privy to a bit more of the inner workings of Gotham, but nothing crazy or too dangerous.” He grimaces. “The last thing I want is to endanger you.”

“Hold on. No, Jay, that’s not what I meant. I promise you this isn’t a deal breaker. Just…” you move to wave your hand still in his loose grip towards the sliding doors, indicating the rest of the city, “…I have something of a standing complaint with the Red Hood for blowing up my favorite bagel shop.”

“Oh?” He practically goes limp against you, letting go of your wrists after kissing the juncture of both to wrap his arms back around you. One corner of his mouth curls up. “Would you like to file a formal complaint?”

“I would, actually.”

He snorts, “In my defense it was a drug front for a group who was conspiring against me.”

You cast him a contemplative look before letting out a wistful sigh.

“Good bagels though.”

Simultaneously the two of you break off into laughter, hanging off of each other before sobering naturally as the timer rings and you’ve got to strain the noodles.

When you’ve got the water drained and are moving to set up the assembly station for the lasagna you throw him a grin.

“For the record, I think you would’ve made a great Batman.”

He laughs goodnaturedly, going over to add a pinch of sugar to the tomato sauce.

“Says you and nobody else but me,” he jokes.

“That’s alright,” you come up to press a kiss to his cheek from the side, using your hip to bump him out the way a little so you can slip one of the towels from the oven handles, “Gotham wouldn’t have been able to handle you, anyway.”

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!

Funnily enough she’s technically meeting the Red Hood in this one to some extent, but I’ll probably write a more costume focused entry later on that is her fully meeting Red Hood similarly to how she meets the other Bats.

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!

Tagged: @bandshirts-andbooks

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

A bit of a loaded question, I know, but do you have any TF ships you prefer and would like to share?

I need you to be aware that you're opening pandora's box here. The vibes range anywhere from "god this is hot" to "god this is cute" to "their dynamic is so fucking interesting and i want to study them under laboratory conditions" to "this hurts so much and I need the drama, I am CRYING" to smashing barbie dolls together. I have crackships you ain't even THOUGHT about. I throw ships at the wall just to see if they stick. I like a lot of ships. Arguably too damn many. So many that I'm putting this under a cut to spare people from the long post. So many that I have to sort them by continuity so you're not staring at an unorganized list longer than do you love the color of the sky.

TFA

shockbee I feel has a lot of the potential for shockwave fearing what happens when bee finds out he's not longarm. Like a lot of the scenes in auto boot camp read to me like shockwave really did want bee as an ally while he climbs the ranks, and there's some juicy potential for shocker starting out as just using him until he actually catches feelings. Especially in aus where bee really did join the elite guard. Like can you imagine the drama. The heartbreak. The trust issues. Bee realizing he never really knew the guy he could trust most. Wondering if he's even safe to be around. If anything was even real. Shockwave wondering the same things. Hhhhhhhhh.

I do enjoy shockblurr conceptually but I'm not crazy about how they're usually portrayed in the fandom bc I feel like we're all forgetting that shockwave is a ball of anxiety and murder, and Blurr is a straight laced fuckin nerd who can't shut his mouth. An overpowered, highly capable nerd, but a nerd still. I like what the artist katzske does with them a lot tho.

I'm also a blitzbee enjoyer but on a less "bee can fix him and itll be so sweet" level and more "god imagine how annoying they'd be together." Looney Tunes levels of fucking with people. Either that or bumblebee is just horny on main and really likes the thought of bagging a con, but then he goes and catches feelings.

prowlbulk owns my entire heart. They're so sweet on each other and prowl really respects and appreciates bulkhead way more than bulky's used to. And bulkhead admires so much of prowl's skill and perspective. They work so well together as a couple and it's fucking adorable. With a hint of tragedy bc. Well. You know.

Bulkbee is also incredibly cute bc I'm a sucker for besties that very slowly realize they love each other so much it makes them look stupid. Good in romantic or qpr flavors. Bee already climbs all over bulkhead like a squirrel, they're so fuckin affectionate and very very stupid in social settings.

I like Optimus and blackarachnia from a drama standpoint bc God. They are tragic. They are MESSY. I genuinely think there's no happy ending for them. The trust is gone. But they still miss each other so much and they just CANT move on, so they keep stringing each other along. They're just hurting themselves and each other every time one does anything nice for the other. It's the kinda shit that just slowly rips your heart out. OP please don't text your ex. OP pLEASE

Megop is a classic but I feel we as a fandom underutilize how much Optimus pisses off Megatron. He is an asshole cat knocking shit off the counter for attention. Megs lets him be worse when he is so so fucking tired of being good. He loves that he hates him and he hates that he loves him. Full on "my esteemed rival" "dearly detested." Fighting each other is cathartic and addictive. Megatron finds it infuriating but he can't deny how much he likes having a worthy opponent, how fitting it is that the cosmos sent him so deadly a nemesis, and yet how lame it is that he was so forgettable at first so now he feels dumb being mildly obsessed with him. Optimus is just glad he has someone who doesn't expect him to be perfect and nice and upstanding. He can vent out a lot of his less noble feelings or impulses that he's had completely repressed for ages. The pressure's off in a lot of ways. And I think in an enemies to lovers sense, watching them figure out how to make that setup and that very odd mutual desire to be in each other's lives into something healthier could be really compelling. Or tragic in a "why did I let myself need you? Why the fuck did I let myself need you?" way.

Beeprowl is funny but I only really like it in a "you annoy me SO MUCH let's make out about it" way. Nothing committed, just dispelling the tension without having to kill each other. It is just kinda nice seeing them have genuinely sweet moments though. Squidbob ass relationship.

Lugnut and Strika are the perfect Decepticon power couple and I love them so much. So very much. Lugnut loves his big terrifying wife capable of leveling cities, and she loves her sweet devoted husband who could throw her across the room. I think they break chairs over each other's heads for fun and have been trying to seduce Megatron into a threesome for ages.

Shockwave and Megatron are also incredibly good. The loyalty. The "I commit my whole existence to you. I am yours, in mind body and soul. I will go wherever you need me to, I will put myself in immeasurable danger for you, just please say I'm doing a good job" and "all my efforts would be lost without you. In a world where I have been vulnerable and terrified, where I have been stabbed in the back by people I thought I could wholly trust, I can look at you and know, unwaveringly, you won't do the same. I trust you completely." It's Delicious. It's absolutely codependent but god it's tasty.

Also honestly? Bulkhead and the constructicons could make a pretty cute throuple. He wants them to be better. They want him to be worse. He just wants them to do honest work and they want him to stop letting stuffy, elitist autobot society control him so much. They love each other, they're friends (even if the constructicons don't totally remember the first night they met him). And they really do enjoy each other's company. They're just guys being dudes. Just dudes being guys. Just guys being gays. (It's also just nice when bulkhead gets to be the smaller one, scrapper totally carries him around like a big ol' cat).

I really like prowl being torn between lockdown and jazz. They're the devil and angel on his shoulders. Lockdown tempting him into relapsing, feeling himself fall into old habits, forsaking everything he's learned about patience and respect and being conscientious of the world around him. Jazz picking him back up when he slips, making him WANT to keep being better. And prowl can't decide if he wants to be loved in spite of all his toxic traits or BECAUSE of them. It's got me in a chokehold, your honor.

Megastar is fun in tfa because 1. It's implied Megatron never actually abused starscream while they were on the same side (the first thing starscream says after waking up from being shot is "YOU DARE STRIKE ME, MEGATRON?" which reads to me like this is a new development). Megs doesn't actually hurt anyone working for him other than Sumdac, who he fucking hates (at least not on-screen), and the only reason he was as aggro to starscream post-revival was because he knew screamer is the reason he spent all that fucking time as just a severed head. He used to actually trust him, sort of, even if he was a scheming, sycophantic little weasel. And 2. It's pretty obvious they have history together. I genuinely truly believe they were exes and Starscream only planted a bomb on him because he couldn't be fucking normal about the divorce. You look at how they bitch at each other in deep space and then immediately fall into what is most likely their old dynamic of getting things done and shooting the shit and tell me they never had an intense romantic stint that went horribly wrong. Starscream calls him Meggy in his internal logs for fucks sake.

Oh also sumdac x megatron. It started as a crackship of mine but I really love the idea of sumdac feeling legitimately guilty for taking Megatron apart and unknowingly violating him the way he did, even if Megatron is terrible. Like the dynamic of "you lied to me" "if I told you who I really was, I would be dead. I don't owe you the truth when you held me captive. I was vulnerable. I was TERRIFIED. I did what I had to in order to keep myself safe. And you come to ME with accusations of doing you wrong? When YOU held all the power? And then when I'd taken back the power you left me without, made you feel what I felt, I'm a monster?" "I never meant to hurt you" "Well you did. And now you know just how much damage you did." Like it's such an interesting angle, ESPECIALLY when you consider that sumdac probably grew to legitimately care about Megatron while he was in his lab. He wanted to do right by him. He wanted to see him restored and thriving. He was his robot buddy that made a birthday gift for his kid once. Some part of him probably misses him after he's gone, some part of him probably feels guilty too, even through all the rage and hurt and fear and betrayal. That's complicated feelings!! That's juicy!!!!!

I like the thought of Shockwave and Optimus but that's mostly for sexy reasons. Something about a big, smooth talking, scary cryptid monster, very well spoken and elegant, seducing Good, Upstanding Autobot Optimus to The Dark Side. This is mostly because Optimus is a huge nerd and so is Shockwave. I think Shockwave could potentially pique his interest with uncensored versions of the history Optimus is already a huge dweeb about, and seal the deal with a few gentle touches and honeyed words. From Optimus's perspective this is Very Obviously a Honeypot Trap but the trouble is Shockwave is very hot and very sweet on him and starting to seem less and less evil so he's not sure how long he can keep his guard up when the temptation is this strong. He has a duty to fight Decepticons and shut out their lies but man. He's so tired. And Shockwave's berth is very warm. There is something satisfying about seeing him choose to be selfish after nearly a whole show of him taking the high road. (It's even better if he gets attached when eventually Shockwave's Cool Sexy Collected vibes falter and he sees how much of an anxious, panicky dork he actually is)

Ratchet x Arcee are also very very cute together. Old married dorks. Ratchet's so soft with her and he wants her to be okay. She genuinely likes him and he makes the nightmare she's subjected herself to bearable. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living!" They're both horrifically traumatized, they understand each other on a level most bots can't, and they can ground each other when it gets bad. God. You know they're slow dancing in the kitchen together. You know they're sickeningly domestic with each other. They are holding hands in the park on a comically small bench on earth right as we SPEAK.

I also just kind of like the idea of team prime being a polycule (other than ratchet, who is just watching the young bots having relationship drama and rolling his optics (the age gap and mentor role make me personally a little uncomfortable but I have nothing against people who do include him, they're all adults, its chill)). I like the thought of these losers getting home after a long day and collapsing into a cuddle pile, either on the couch or on the floor. They all love each other so much already, I think they should kiss about it, but they're super repressed so it's So Very Shy and Cautious and Sweet.

The same goes for the Decepticons but more in a "cons are pretty casual about sex anyway, they're in close proximity, and they tolerate each other at least so nearly everyone has a fuck buds setup with each other" way. I feel like the autobots are super repressed in that regard so the cons started leaning into being sluts to stick it to the mech along with all the other freaks shit they're cool with. God help Blackarachnia, she goes from Autobot repression to all her coworkers being sluts on main and she Does Not Know what to do about that (also it would make a lot of sense if that's why she started leaning into the femme fatale thing so hard)

TFP

Optiratch my beloved. Gay old men who would do anything for each other, even when they really don't agree on how to proceed. They're best friends, they're husbands, they're crushing on each other and they think it's unrequited, they just started dating, they've been married for eons. All of it works soooo well. They know each other well enough that they can communicate by just kinda grunting in specific ways. I need them to hold hands SO bad.

Megop is also Very Good here. Literally the most divorced robots to ever exist. Megatron NEEDS Optimus back and Optimus still holds a torch for megs, but it's so fucking funny because they're clearly on fundamentally different levels of "I miss you." Like Optimus is kinda sad and he does want the old Megatronus back, but Megatron does these whole fuckin elaborate stunts to get Optimus to pay attention to him again and then locks himself in his room with a pint of ice cream and dark energon to cry about him. Mans is NOT coping. Alternatively, Optimus is coping just as poorly on the inside and he really does still love Megatron just as much but he knows that's a selfish desire that he quiets with everything else he sacrifices about himself in the name of being a good leader. Least repressed Optimus.

Bulkhead and wheeljack should get to kiss on the mouth I think. If Arcee can call Wheeljack Bulkhead's boyfriend, and bulkhead does not deny it, logic dictates they should in fact French kiss sloppy style for a whole minute on live TV. It can happen. Only on the hub.

KOBD are adorable together, they are so unhinged and stupid and they love each other so much. Like the team rocket of the nemesis. Breakdown loves his husband soooo much and knockout misses him so bad when Silas gets him. And you KNOW they're freaks bc knockout is totally convinced that breakdown would've loved seeing how he torments Silas in bd's body. He's probably right about it too.

I also wholly support Ms. June Darby for trying to seduce Optimus. Me too girl, get that robo ass. Go get jack a new cooler dad. It's also very cute to imagine Optimus, the bigass 30 foot robot, the stoic leader of the Autobots who keeps stonefaced through just about anything, flustered and crushing on a very small and very flirty human.

For some reason the show was kind of trying to tease Bulkhead x Arcee for exactly one episode and then never again and like. Look. I understand it was a forced het ship that was there to distract people from how gay they accidentally made the show. I know it'd probably just be Arcee rebounding after losing Cliffjumper. But I think them having a fwb type relationship while she works through her feelings could be interesting. Though this could just be because Bulkhead is big sweet and comforting and him holding anyone and making them feel safe while they're Going Through it is enough to get me saying God I Wish That Were Me.

Bumblebee and Smokescreen appeal to me in the same way seemingly very hetero frat bros who are apparently a very sweet and affectionate gay couple do. It's an inherently funny irony and also theyre just both cute himbos.

TFP Megastar is horrifically unhealthy in general and there is absolutely no way in hell it could work out. Not pre-war, not post-megs-redemption, nada. Which is why it has my brain in a chokehold. This is one of the ships I like because it's fascinating and because god it HURTS. Like I have my gripes with how the show portrayed the abuse overall but there were some things they were cooking with. Starscream being an obvious victim but then turning around and inflicting it on everyone around him? Girl no, the cycle of violence and abuse!!!! Girl no, you're refusing to do the complex emotional work of accepting that what happened to you wasnt okay and thus you carry out the behaviors you've gaslit yourself into thinking are normal!!!!!! Girl no, society has failed you and you have no support systems to help you break the cycles, but you also simply refuse to try in the first place because your pride wouldn't allow it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cortical psychic patch was literally my fave showcase of their dynamic in the whole show. "I don't want to play this game anymore!" Like jfc ouch. Also the thought of post redemption Megatron lamenting how he treated Starscream, not having considered the damage he's done to him before now. Trying to make it right and only making it all worse by inserting himself into Starscream's life again and realizing how badly he's broken him, how fucked it is that Starscream seems to revere him after EVERYTHING. God. GOD. I'm in agony.

Speaking of starscream in the cycle of abuse, KOSS has postcanon potential. (Post Predacons Rising, rid does not exist 😌) Like. They've proven they feel some type of way about each other. "I've always admired your lustrous finish." "😏" But Knockout was the first person in starscream's life to set a boundary in a healthy way. And when starscream inevitably ignores those boundaries and knockout leaves, you know how much it fucking hurts starscream to realize how badly he fucked up. But of course, the pride. He can't apologize. Can't admit he's the reason knockout betrayed him. So he'll choke back the tears. He'll try to, anyway. But he can't stop the agony in his voice while he feebly spits out "Fine! I hope Unicron eats you too!!" You know the second they shut the door on him, the waterworks started, and so did the closest thing to self reflection Starscream's ever done. He Has the Potential to be Better with Knockout, but he NEEDS to put in the work, and the suspense of wondering if he WILL fucks my whole shit up.

Rescue Bots

It is so close to canon that blades and bumblebee are boyfriends. Hell I believe it pretty much IS canon. He loves that bug so much. He gets jealous when he hangs out with Dani and not him. He hugs him for a photo the first chance he gets. And since we know blades is confirmed as being into dudes, I think we all know what they were getting at. TFP bumblebee has an anxious twink boyfriend that lives in Maine and we have no idea whatsoever if the rest of team prime knows.

Graham and boulder pine for each other like you would not believe. Once again, pretty much canon. You can't just have boulder keep telling Graham "well I like you just how you are" when Graham's trying to impress a girl and expect me to not think he has a big stupid gay crush on his best friend. They love each other so much as partners and as friends, I know damn well they'd be SICKENINGLY cute together as boyfriends. They'd probably try to stealth it at first bc a human and a giant robot alien in love? What'll the others think?? Gotta keep it secret. Sneaking off into the woods so Boulder can work on his "art projects" but in fact they are kissing. They're not as slick as they think they are, Chief Burns 100% picks up what's going on but he lets them think they're sneaky. Nobody actually has any problems with it other than Kade making fun of them a little but don't worry that's just him projecting.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Heatwave and Kade are the worst fucking tsunderes about crushing on each other. Between heatwave refusing to let down the brooding tough guy persona and kade being so insistent on staying hyper masculine (to the point where mild internalized homophobia is inevitable), neither of them can just be honest about how much they mean to each other and they gotta resort to getting each other's attention by being mean in very low stakes ways. I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unloveable hand, except they're not drowning and they're just dunking each other in a kiddie pool repeatedly.

Heatwave and quickshadow are fun for similar reasons but with less shit lord pranks and/or lowbrow bitching, and more classy verbal sniping and sparring with each other because heatwave thinks it's hot when quickshadow kicks his ass. They're insufferably competitive and I think that could be very fun and incredibly messy, especially since they both need to learn how to communicate. Very bisexual, they are forced to share the brain cell, 10/10

I also just enjoy the idea of all the bots being in a polycule the same way I like the idea for TFA's team prime. They're very sweet together and they clearly care about each other a lot. Its just kind of nice when they all hold hands together, you feel me? They're sneaking off to kiss in the bunker bc they don't know if the humans know dudes can like other dudes. They are also not as subtle as they think they are.

Oh also doc Greene and chief burns dated once when they were teenagers and it didn't work out but they stayed besties, nobody can change my mind on this.

Beast Wars

Dinobot and Megatron are exes, 100%. Dinobot is probably the only being in the known universe that Megatron actually kind of cares about other than himself and his rubber duck. Otherwise he wouldn't keep trying to fucking clone him to make a version that will never leave him. There's also some implications here and there that Megatron really did want the world to be better for Predacons (along with the desire for power, anyway) and that preds are genuinely treated unfairly, so there's a pretty compelling angle of dinobot having been drawn to megatron because he saw someone with noble goals and a way to fix their fucked up world before becoming disillusioned with the dishonorable tyrant he turned out to be.

Dinobot and Optimus are also very good together bc it really truly feels like Dinobot finally found the guy with honor he thought he saw in Megatron. And he's infuriating half the time because he isn't nearly as bloodthirsty as he's used to, but GODDAMN does he make him Feel Things. The entire episode Gorilla Warfare has me obsessed with them. The bitching. Dinobot freaking the fuck out and Optimus tenderly removing the seed pod stuck to the back of his neck that was freaking him out and only laughing at him a little. Dinobot constantly trying to choose violence. The stupid smile when Optimus also chooses violence and Dinobot realizes he fucked up. THE BEDSIDE VIGIL. "It was my shift" AND YOU KNOW THEY WEREN'T TAKING SHIFTS. THE FLOWER ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE. "it is good to have you back." "Back home or back to normal?" "...both." THEY'RE HOMOSEXUAL, YOUR HONOR.

Dinobot (shit maybe I just really like dinobot) with Rattrap is good for similar reasons but the vibes are totally different. DoOp is all soft and sweet and patient and light ribbing, Dinotrap is talking shit at each other as a love language. Dinobot is a good guy but he's also, fundamentally, a bitch. Rattrap has proven he can match his freak by bitching right back. They love each other by pretending to hate each other. To the point where if Rattrap doesn't hear any comebacks he genuinely starts worrying because "oh, we aren't playing the game, why aren't you playing, are you okay?" They have so many soft tender moments where they prove they actually love each other. Their last conversation is talking shit!!!! "You're just a slag spouting saurian, but it's nice to know where you stand." "Upwind of you for preference, rodent." They loved each other!!!!!! Rattrap is fucked up over losing him!!!!!!!!!!! It's bittersweet, it's tragic, it hurts so bad and I love them so much!!!! They're stupid your honor!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much sillier side, I do love Rattrap x Rhinox. Rattrap kissed that man twice. On the mouth. On screen. Annoying little gremlin who goes "nyehhhh" x big stoic dude who goes "hn." And they're both tech guys so they probably work on projects together a lot. And they all survive and are fine bc beast machines isnt real 💖

I have my problems with Silverbolt in general but I cannot deny that he and Blackarachnia are pretty damn cute together. He loves his girlfriend, they trash her shitty ex together, she loves that he doesn't try to change her. She gets to be the bad girl and the sweet knight in shining armor still loves her. "Dark poison of my heart" like c'mon.

Airazor and Tigatron are also pretty cute AND they have the honor of being the first canon gay couple in the tf franchise bc of the Japanese dub, which made Airazor a dude but left the romance unchanged (the Japanese dub was also just generally fuckin insane tho so it's not all that shocking).

Waspinator and Terrorsaur are boyfriends for real and for canon, John hasbro told me himself.

RiD 2001

I ship skybyte with that one girl that lives in a state of constant talking-car-based torment. Why? Because when I watched rid with my roommate we had a running joke that eventually they'd meet and have a whole robotfucker romcom arc and it kinda just stuck. This is my only rid ship and I will not be taking criticism on it.

Cyberverse

Bumblebee, Hot Rod and Cheetor are in a polycule together and nobody can tell me they aren't. Just how it's gotta be.

I want Perceptor and Dead End to kiss so badly. They're technically canon already given how hard the creators ship them. They hold hands your honor. "only a bolthead would go out there... UGH I'm such a BOLTHEAD" HES IN LOVE YOUR HONOR.

Hot Rod and Soundwave are great as enemies to lovers, they're so annoying 💖. I feel like they'd start playing gay chicken and be married with three kids wondering when the other guy is gonna back out.

SHOCKWAVE AND WHEELJACK OH MY GOD. fellas is it gay to program your drones which are just tiny versions of your own altmode to dance funny to Tetris music specifically because it makes your lame ass boyfriend laugh and then keep that function eons after you break up and still remember exactly what the command is? Fellas is it gay to get kidnapped by your ex and then get really excited about all the cool shit he's been making while you were separated? I wish they could've gotten a happy ending man, they could've been so cute together.

I don't ship it romantically but I believe in Grimlock & Arcee qpr. They love each other so so much they would've readily died for each other. I love their dynamic, they're insane 💖

Same goes for Shadowstriker and Soundwave tbh. Decepticon besties, and Shadowstriker being aro kinda just feels right. I like to think they cuddle and talk shit about Shockwave while Sounders blasts heavy metal. They play cod as the most insufferable duo.

Megop in cyberverse is so good because it really feels like they Had a relationship but it was unstable and moved too fast and they just assumed they were on the same page about things without communicating properly until suddenly they were in serious disagreement, and TRIED to work it out in a mature way but they were simply Doomed From the Start. And then it culminates in a whole fucking war but it rages so long, and they are so tired of fighting, and they realize they want to try again because nobody was really to blame for how things ended because they both handled it poorly. I wish they got that chance to try again properly. I wish when Optimus retired to just fuck around and vibe, he could've taken Megatron with him. I wish they could've fallen in love all over again.

Oh also Slipstream and Windblade being lesbian enemies to lovers bait was Fucking Phenomenal and I Love it So Much. They're smug and terrible and I want them to make out. They can make each other worse 💖

G1

I have not seen that much of g1 but I do know a few things are absolute truth.

Soundwave is gay for Megatron. This is arguably reciprocated.

Shockwave is gay for Megatron. This is not reciprocated but it is taken advantage of.

Starscream vacillates between gay for Megatron and trying to kill him. Megatron seems to reciprocate but only a little bit. Enough to keep him alive because he's cute. But megs also gets a lot of cuteness aggression so he feels the need to chuck starscream against the wall every now and then.

Powerglide and Astoria are tied for the pinnacle of robot on human romance in the entire tf franchise with Tracks and Raul, and if none of them come back in ANY tf media, I will riot.

Cliffjumper and Mirage have fucked at least once.

Wheeljack and Ratchet are gay married.

Optimus is bisexual and he loves elita-1 but there is something distinctly homoerotic going on with Megatron.

Conclusion

I like when the robots kiss <3

[mushroominaforest]

(Post panic attack Mushroom here, I’m putting this vent thingy under a cut now, I was kinda freaking out when I posted it so sorry lol)

So. Apparently I’m getting some… uh, something (not actually sure what) done to my face tomorrow. All I really know is that it’s for “aesthetic purposes”.

No matter how many times I insist that I like the way I look, my mom doesn’t seem to agree. Anyways I’m praying to god that this isn’t some sort of plastic surgery or something. With any luck it’s just like, a tooth-whitening procedure (she’s mentioned that a few times so I really hope it’s just that) or something else small. It better not be a nose job. If it’s a nose job (ever since I broke my nose and it got a bump in it, my moms been complaining about how I used to have such a cute button nose) then I swear the second that shit heals I am breaking my nose again. I don’t care.

Yeah I’m… honestly scared. I’ve told my mom so much that I don’t want to change the way I look, and she still went behind my back and booked me this appointment to have… whatever it is done to make me prettier.

But I’m just gonna fuck my face up again if they fix it. If they get rid of my scar I’m taking a knife to my face and giving myself a new one. I don’t want to change. I don’t. I’ll make myself even uglier than I already am. They can’t make me pretty, I don’t want to be! I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF!

[sweetzscore]

What if I fakeposted about my ocs. What then

-24 notes

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Me: [after talking about aliens n space for 3 hours] I dunno I just think they’re kinda neat

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Your record is actually four hours

🛸 ang3l-baby

Sometimes I just black out and talk about doctor who a lot too

32 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

Ive had girlfriends before which is really weird because I am the most idiotic loser ever. Bitch what do you see in me

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

This is true you are very much a loser

🎬 samthehotdog follow

I second this

💣 emooooeeeekid

Listen here you little shits

128 notes

🎬 samthehotdog follow

I’m very publicly intersex and my favourite thing about this is that I am a high schooler and my classmates get rlly confused all the time and its so funny

🎬 samthehotdog

I like to ask them why they’re so interested in my dick (or lack thereof) and they usually just combust or something

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

high schoolers are very invasive an insensitive so I like to give them the funniest answers possible

I once told a kid that when I was born they asked me if I wanted a dick or a vag and I couldn’t decide so they gave me one of those multicolour pens where you click down the things to get the new colour

🎬 samthehotdog

That. Is the best thing I have ever heard

241 notes

🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr follow

Theres so many fucking fags at my school I hate this stupid place

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

What are you doing on this website

🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr

Stfu tranny

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

I go to OP’s school and I can confirm he is very stupid and mean and nobody with any sense actually likes him

🎬 samthehotdog follow

Lmaooo

339 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

Vent under the cut

read more

💣 emooooeeeekid

Fuckin got you didn’t I

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Go fuck yourself

💣 emooooeeeekid

Don’t mind if I do

🧢 jord-the-trans follow

There’s something wrong with both of you

63 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

>be me

>have a crush on a guy

>guy likes someone else

>other guy is homophobic, used to be my friend but dropped me when I came out

>dont have the heart to tell my crush

Hes gonna get his heart broken either way and like :((( UGHH i just want him to like me

🎬 samthehotdog follow

Oof thats rough pal

🧢 jord-the-trans follow

Yeah Im real sorry abt that Val :(

A little off topic but I didn’t know you had a crush?

💣 emooooeeeekid

Haha nope. No crush here. I dont have any crushes nosireee

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

Real subtle mate

42 notes

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Im just gonna make it clear right now if you don’t think that straight aces are lgbt i need you to get the fuck off my blog right now

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

are you vagueposting abt your boyfriend’s haters

🛸 ang3l-baby

Die mad

402 notes

anonymous asked: wait you have a boyfriend ???

🛸 ang3l-baby follow

Actually @:reedinthemarsh isn’t my boyfriend he’s my wife

🍬 reedinthemarsh follow

When did we get married also when did I transition???

🛸 ang3l-baby

It’s only a matter of time

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

GELP???

26 notes

💣 emooooeeeekid follow

My parents think that me being non-binary might be confusing for my little brothers but I explained it to them once and they immediately understood, said “okay” and then asked me what my 2nd favourite colour was

13 notes

🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow

URL check

Cosmic: nope

Girl: nope

Thing: sure why not

[gumycandyyy]

Just saw the vent post. How tf is skin grafts and prosthetics for curly abelist? Thats called medical care and its the most likely course of action for him

I replied to this in a comment, but I'll reiterate here!

(this kinda went long, rant under the cut again!!)

It's not actually ableist, people are just overreacting and freaking out. I think they see us who give Curly those procedures as not seeing him as human until he looks like us. Which is something that I can assure, nobody cares about. We love him no matter what he looks like.

I was educated by a handful of people who work in disability that these things would be NECESSARY for Curly to live. He'd need the grafts in order to keep his body safe from bacteria and stuff, and a few physically disabled people said that prosthetics aren't to make him look normal, it's to help him throughout his life. It's like getting a cane or wheelchair, and that's not ableist.

I can see where these people are coming from, but I think they're going about it in the wrong way. Burn victims get skin grafts. Amputees get prosthetics. It's not ableist to want to go about your life as you did before.

I'm not physically disabled as much as others on this app are, but my bones just straight up don't work, and I want them to. So I get what I need in order to not be in pain or frustrated constantly. It's simple as that. These people are (in their want to respect disabled people) unintentionally becoming ableist because of their extreme reactions and beliefs. A commenter said (and I quote):

"The idea that any disabled person who has a surgery or a device that improves their quality of life has internalised ableism is in itself ableist. It's on par with people thinking it's wrong for hearing people to learn sign language"

and I wholeheartedly agree with that.

[albinokittens300]

!Spoilers Under The Cut!

Last critical leaning post, but warning I am gonna boarderline vent here. Hopefully after this I can take up enjoying the vagueness the ending left us with but. Still gotta get this out.

Gonna say it: I swear they just were to scared to give Jinx a positive ending. Like they had such a perfect set up for it and plain and simple the writers were not brave enough to give her the ending she should have gotten.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this idea of her running away is a good ending. It's a terrible one, because it doesn't allow her to heal anything. It allows her to run away from what she needs to heal. It's avoidance not growth. Guess I can be happy she wasn't really dead but that's kinda the most positive thing I can say about her exiling herself by leaving. And this being what is probably a sacrifice for Vi's happyness when it also takes her away from whatever is very clearly being built between her and Ekko? Again. That's not good in my opinion. It's going backwards for her. Chooseing things based on what someone else wants, not herself.

And let me be clear: leaving behind the two people she loves and has a connection with? Is completely out of character for her.

So unless it is intentionally meant to be a short lived absence, which we have nothing inplying that to be the case, I think her leaving is only a few points better than her actually dieing.

It would have made so much more sense to show her coming back and joinning the Firelights and the others who were fighting with them. Her sacrifice, than her walking in amongst a group of Zaunites and Ekko noticing her and a laugh as she plays with him for a minute. It's an open ended thing- we don't know if she really is fully joinning them, how she feels about the new situation between the cities, or Vi- but she is there and faceing the new.

THAT would be so many worlds better than her just being assumed dead and leaving her life completely behind. Because doing that doesn't break the cycle of killing the way Silco was encourageing her to do- it just prevents her from having to make any changes.

Whew. Okay. There, off my chest.

I do have a whole post like this about Episode 7 that I might get the heart up to actually post. Though, I almost refuse just on grounds so many Timebomb fans are loving and enjoying it. The last thing I want to do is tear it down, even if I haveing a harder time of it.

But hopefully with this out I can play with some of the freedom this ending did bless us with. If nothing else, I can have any ending I want because they just let Jinx fly off.

[bittercoffeeonmykeyboard]

Pushing Buttons

The Riddler x Fem!Reader

Summary - The Riddler pushed a few too many of your buttons, and you accidentally pushed a couple of his. Pent up frustrations lead to... surprising developments.

Authors Note - Reader is referred to as "Kestrel." Genitals and pronouns for the reader aren't specified, but reader is also referred to as "Ma'am," so I figured it would be alright to specify fem!reader and FemDom. Can be read as GN!reader. This Riddler is not from any specific media, but inspired by ArkhamVerse and CodotVerse.

Warnings - NSFW 18+, Canon-Typical Violence, Dub-con, Hand-job, Hair pulling, Blood, Grinding, Biting, FemDom, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Enemies to Lovers and back to Enemies, Hate-Fucking (without actually fucking), Degradation, Reader Insert, Kinda verges on OC Insert, No use of Y/N

Word Count - 3.1k

Beta Reader/Editor - @timesnewreader

The crackle of a shitty connection stabbed your ears suddenly, as you were crouching in the rafters of the warehouse.

"Is that the sound of a bird trapped in my warehouse? Someone call pest control!" The Riddler quipped, invading your earpiece. You clenched your jaw.

"Watch out, I might have rabies." you shot back, thoroughly over this already. Your eyes scanned the building from your perch, searching for a hidden entrance or exit.

"Hah! Only mammals can contract rabies, Kestrel. And here I thought that was common sense?" Fucking hell. Time to find him, sooner than later preferably.

"You think you're so fucking smart-" You began.

"Think? No, I know I am, darling." He grinned through the radio, ego echoing in the earpiece.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of you." You growled as you started to leap through the rafters as quietly as possible.

"You're welcome to try, if you can find me! Too bad you can't keep up with my marvelous intellect."

His grating voice and laugh echoed in your coms.

"Kestrel. Everything alright?" Batman's voice broke over the Riddler's fading laugh.

A heavy sigh. "It's fine. Everything is in control." You reported. "We should have Oracle check our radio security. Riddles keep finding their way into my ears, so to say." A pause.

"Understood. I'll bring that up to her soon. However, the sooner you find him, the sooner that stops happening. Good luck." A beep followed his words, and Batman closed the line.

Really. Really?

"'The sooner you find him, the sooner that stops happening', oh fucking hell, Bats." You mocked. It's not your fucking fault he keeps escaping, and then deciding to make it your issue. A bubble of frustration rose in your chest.

You started to close in on a vent above a well-disguised room, dropping down next to it as silently as possible. Which, considering how frustrated both Riddler and Batman just made you, left you quite impressed with yourself.

You fiddled with your coms controls for a second, opening a channel with the rest of the group on patrol. "I'll be off coms for a while. I have a bone to pick with the Riddler." You paused, before adding "I shouldn't be long."

You closed the line and pulled the earpiece out, readying yourself. With a loud bang, you opened the vent and dropped into the room.

"Well would you look at what the Bat dragged in-"

He was cut off by a grappling hook to the ankle, accented by a thud when his body hit the ground. Your fist would have met his face if he hadn't rolled out of the way, scrambling to his feet. "I have to give you credit-"

Your foot interrupted him with almost breaking his nose. Just glanced him. Damn.

"You found me! And quicker than expected-" He levied his cane and swung for your skull. You ducked, and hooked his ankle out from under him. He hit the ground again, but hooked your own ankle and you landed on your ass. He shuffled to try and get to his feet again, and you flipped over to claw at his leg, dragging him back towards you. He swiftly tried to kick you, and landed a solid kick on your shoulder.

"Truly, one could say-" You reached to grab his arm, and he whacked your head with his cane. "Your intellect is almost on par with-" He managed to roll away form you again. "Your viciousness!" He landed a strong kick to your ribs, making you roll and groan.

You both staggered to your feet, a good six feet between you now. "You talk too much." He brandished his cane like a baseball bat. You lifted your fists, feeling rage and excitement mix in your chest.

"Now where's the fun in silence?" You barked out a laugh, before lunging forward. He swung his cane for your ribs, and you blocked it with your hand, grabbing it and pulling him into a punch, cracking his nose. "AH!"

To his merit he recovered quickly, staggering into a defensive stance as you went to kick at his ribs, managing to dodge with a jump backwards. You both still had a hold on his cane and you used both hands to drag him forward, off balance, twisted and threw him over yourself and onto his back. He landed with a cough, the impact releasing his grip on his cane.

You quickly followed him down, pinning his arms down with his own cane and straddling his waist.

"You are the most annoying man in the world. Your puzzles are shit, your ego is shit, and you deserve to get the shit beat out of you." Riddler seemed dazed, his breathing was quick and blood was starting to trickle out from his nose from your punch. "You're weak, your whole ethos sucks, and the only thing moderately acceptable about you is your sense of style, if only you weren't focused on inflating your own sense of self worth by ruining people's lives."

You spat each word at him, glaring down at him. Your breathing came heavy, filled with the adrenaline of the fight and fire of your words.

The Riddler stared up at you, eyes wide and face flushed. His face kept twitching, as if he was stuck between two expressions, unable to settle on one. "Is that all?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he smirked.

You removed one hand from the cane, leaning forward to pin him more securely as you grabbed his face. "You wish." You sneered down at him, piercing his eyes with yours. "Every single one of your stupid riddles and puzzles has been solved, every time. Makes you think that maybe, oh, they aren't that hard? Your riddles are easy and if you're trying to be a villain, you're failing. You're a nuisance at best, and a danger to society at worst. Maybe you should like, get better? Get better at doing the thing you made your entire identity around."

He was taking short panting breaths, face thoroughly flushed. You let go of his face and he licked his lips, catching some of the blood from his nose and smearing it. Your eyes caught on the motion, before pinning his eyes once again. His pupils were blown, and he chuckled. "Well! That's not very nice, now is it?" His legs shifted behind you, and you felt the movement from where you sat on his waist. He swallowed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that words hurt?"

You scoffed. "You're one to talk." You leaned back, releasing some of the pressure on his wrists, and instead placing your free hand over his throat. Not pressing, but threatening to. To your surprise, he didn't immediately try to break free from his position. Shifting slightly, you felt something press against you from behind. His eyelids fluttered at the pressure and a quiet exhale left his lips. Realization dawned on you. "You're fucking disgusting." A disbelieving chuckle left you, as you suddenly found yourself nervous.

"Never claimed I wasn't, darling." He lilted, a smirk on his lips. "What can I say? Your physical prowess and verbal assault left me defenseless. I pushed your buttons, and you pushed mine." He breathed out a chuckle, and you felt it resonate beneath your hand. "If, if you'd like…" He hesitated, gazing up and down your body, before meeting your eyes again, half-lidded. "We could push each others' buttons some more?"

The suggestion sent blood rushing to your face, and loathe were you to admit it, warmth began pooling between your legs. Your hand twitched and tightened over his neck briefly, drawing a tiny moan from the Riddler. Shock at the noise caused you to release the cane and his neck, leaving his hands free suddenly. He took this opportunity to grab your wrist and roll the two of you, flipping positions.

"Ooo, see? This could be fun!" He pinned your wrist, and traced his free hand down to your hip. "A little push, a little pull, and we're off to the races." His face came close you yours, breath ghosting over your cheeks as you felt your chest stutter. Arousal mixed with anger at his audacity, heating up with a dash of shame at letting him flip your positions.

A smirk that came off as more of snarl danced on your face, and you hooked your legs over his hip and gripped his hair, dragging him down as you flipped the two of you yet again, landing him beneath you with a breathy groan. You hand firmly found his throat again as you grinned. "Bold of you to assume you'll have any control." You punctuated your statement with a harsh grind of your hips against his, drawing out a pathetic moan. "You'll do as I say, brat. Understand?"

He nodded and swallowed, breathless.

"Speak up."

"Y- yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes… ma'am?"

Another grind of the hips. "Good." A fire was lit in your abdomen, seeing him like this. Oh, the things you'll do to this man.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him up to face you, noses nearly touching. "You're pathetic." Your lips ghosted over his, before meeting as you went to bite down on his bottom lip, keeping it trapped between your teeth as you rutted against him, reveling in the friction and his gasping moans. His hands fluttered at your hips, unsure. You slapped them away, and started pulling at his jacket and shirt. He quickly started helping you strip him until he lay before you, bare-chested. You released his lower lip to instead start trailing bites down his neck. He damn near moaned with every bite, and it was driving you wild. When you reached the junction of his neck and shoulder, you bit hard and rolled your hips, listening to the pretty little mewl he let out. You continued rolling your hips as you licked the bite, savouring the friction against your core. You could practically feel him twitch beneath you.

"Does it feel good, brat?" The Riddler nodded. "Are you so pathetic that me grinding against you is enough? "

"N… Not enough- please…."

You dragged your hand down his chest, his stomach, and down further as you drank in the flustered look on his face. His lip was caught in his teeth, trying to reign in his gasps. You shifted from straddling his pelvis to one of his thighs, guiding your knee to put gentle pressure on him. He blinked heavily and gazed through his lashes up at you. A cheeky grin crossed his lips.

"If I knew you had this in you, I think I would've tried harder to piss you off, darling."

Your hand reached the hem of his pants, tracing them. You popped open the button and slowly, slowly dragged the zipper down.

"If I knew you would've tried something like this, I would've cuffed you earlier."

With that you shove your hand past the hem and down his pants, cutting off whatever reply would've left his lips and replacing it with a choked moan. He shuddered and threw his head back. The touch of your hand had his dick twitching, you could feel his pulse as you gripped his length. It was hot in your grip. A single pump from base to head and you could feel the precum leaking from his tip. He brokenly mewled and grasped at your suit, finding purchase on your shoulder. His expression was wrecked, pupils blown and eyebrows pinched, chest heaving as he leaned his head towards your shoulder.

"Hah, so needy. I've barely touched you, and you're about to cum? Poor little touch starved fuck." You carded your fingers through his hair, gripping and tilting his head back so you could gaze at his expression better. "Riddle me this, brat. What do you want?"

His eyes locked with yours. A shuddered sigh. "Please, touch me, please, please…." he whimpered. Your hand stayed still in his pants.

"Please, what?"

Your hand tightened on his hair, and he gasped at the sting.

"Please, Ma'am! Please…"

"Good boy." A sweet, sadistic grin passed your lips. You started stroking him in an even tempo, rolling your thumb over the head with each pump. His breath stuttered and his eyelids drooped. Each stroke of your hand had little moans spilling from his lips, his hand gripped tighter on your shoulder, digging in just shy of painful. You kept his head craned back, facing the ceiling, watching every expression flicker on his face. Increasing the tempo you pull a depraved moan from his chest. Your own breaths came faster enraptured by his reactions. The air felt like fire as it passed between the two of you, charged with energy. You started pumping faster, faster as you drank in every moan and gasp, fixed on watching him come undone with pleasure. He was so close, so very close now. He was completely flushed, cheeks and chest rosy as he panted. Whimpers and mumbling falling from his lips, shuddering underneath you. "Please please pleasepleaseplease-" fell from his lips in a chant, begging. His dick was throbbing now. His eyes met yours.

"Almost there, brat. Stay with me," a firm tug on his hair as you kept his gaze pinned with yours. His hand slid from your shoulder to the back of your neck as his face started to pinch in pleasure. You kept the pace fast and steady, watching with bated breath. His eyebrows furrowed and jaw went slack as he tipped over, eye lashes fluttering as he tried to keep eye contact with you. He let out a strangled keen, moaning as he climaxed, hot cum spurting and landing on your hand, his pants, and the floor. He went nearly limp in your grasp and you supported him with the hand in his hair, letting go to wrap around his shoulders instead. His head fell forward and into your shoulder. "Sh shh shhh, good boy, you did so good for me." You held him as he caught his breath, inhaling slowly as he came down from his high. You let go of his cock and wiped the cum off your hands with his pant leg as he raised his head back up, his rational mind starting to return. Similarly, you began to realize exactly what just happened. You looked him in the face, making sure he was alright (he was grinning), before briskly letting go and backing away from him, standing up. "Shit." "I'd say that was quite the contrary, dear. Definitely not shit." He let out a breathless chuckle.

"Put your fucking clothes back on." You turned away from him. What the fuck did you just do?? Gave the Riddler a goddamn hand job right after beating the shit out of him, that's what. Fuck it all what were you thinking! You heard the shuffle of him putting his shirt and coat back on, and only turned around once you heard the zip of his pants. He recovered quite well from the mess of a man he was on the floor mere minutes ago, the only tell being the cum stains near his crotch and the specific smell of musk emanating from him. "Well now riddle me this-" he starts. "Don't-" "What gets longer when pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, and works well when jerked?" He grins back at you, delighting in the riddle and watching your inner turmoil flash across your face. "Oh my god. Bubble gum? A cigarette? Fuck off." You paced away from him, setting distance between the two of you. "Certainly not your dick," you called over your shoulder. "Is that your final answer? Really, I expected more eloquence but I guess you can't win all the time, now can you?" He sighed over dramatically, picking up his cane and inspecting it. The Riddler rubbed at a tiny scratch on the handle.

You could feel your blood pressure spike again. Your jaw clenched as you glared back at him. Attempting a sardonic smile but really only succeeding in a snarl, you tilted your head at him. "Eloquently, I hope rats turn your mattress into a refinery of their trash, and you wake up in a pool of your own piss." You started to stomp back over to him, anger pumping into your bloodstream, thankfully masking anything else you might be feeling at the moment. "In-eloquently, fuck off and suffer." You stabbed your finger into his chest for punctuation. He clasped your hand between both of his. "If you keep telling me to fuck off, you'll start to give me the wrong idea about us, darling." the Riddler cooed with an exaggerated pout. "You already have the wrong idea; there is no 'us'." You snatch your hand away from his. His eyes narrowed, even if his horrible, snarky grin remained. "No us, huh?" He clicked his tongue. "How disappointing." his finger found its way to your chin resting there for a moment. Next thing you know, his hand is behind your head and he's kissing you hard, more teeth than lips, and keeping you tight there against him. Shock flashes through you before the rage kicks in again, and you promptly launch your knee straight into his crotch. He releases you with a pained groan, gasping as he doubles over. Between gasps of pain, he starts a stilted laugh. You grab his arm and kick him behind the knee, pulling his arm behind his back while he's still reeling in pain. He jerks, but not before you manage to cuff both of his hands behind his back.

"That's enough of your bullshit, to the GCPD you fucking go." You haul him around and start half dragging him, half leading him to the door. Once he's fully got his feet under him, he smirks down at you. "Aw, but we were having so much fun! Truly, Kestrel, sometimes you are such a killjoy." "If you know whats good for you, you'll shut your mouth." You growled out. "Ah, I've heard that before. In fact, if I had a nickle for every time someone's told me to shut up, I think I could rival Bruce Wayne's wealth!" He chirped. Opening the door, you shove him through first, reaching to turn your coms back on. Before you can, The Riddler tilts his head back at you with a smile. "For the record, the answer is a seat belt."

big thank you to times for being a true bestie and helping me make this legible lol. they're a great beta reader!!! she has a lot of good recommendations if y'all would like to check them out!!

[blurredout10]

This Is Not A Date

Upgraded Connor (RK900) | Nines/ Reader fanfic

Rating: Mature

Wordcount: 5560

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Intimacy, emotionally curious nines, groping, smut, p in v sex, rough, kinda soft kinda not lil boi

Link to AO3 here or continue below cut:

You envied him, really.

Holding down a forefinger, the imprint fogging your phone screen, the victim of your poking quite literally quivered under your fingertips; a damn bloody dating app. Its cornered ‘x’ be the only good idea it gave you since its offered romantic prospects surely weren’t.  

It shakes a violent plead of mercy, like the castle clown prancing joyously, a jingle bell on its neck collar shaking its head desperate no’s where you snapped two fingers for its forthcoming executions. Disappointing. As per usual.  

But punishing the joker meant nothing if its replacement came from the same circus. You downloaded another app, pinky peach hearts pictured on a mobile symbol, your expectations had sunk passed the depths of hell.  

You were no less given the attention, a text ping except for a joker's bell. Despite Detroit’s ever-growing gene pool with the doubling population of both humans and androids, your huddle of situationships barely satisfied you, lacking a spark you so craved. Matches appeased your eyes, descriptions void of icky pick-up lines, but with every other text you were sent, something scrunched up your face worse than the last.   

“Why are people so boring?” you vented to the brioche-scented air, very much aware that fine-tuned android ears had spaced out. You’d grown to suffer alone.  

He didn’t have to worry about bearing the weight of carried conversations, he was perfect. Bloody hell looked it too.  

Nines envied you equally, but for the opposite reasons.  

There hadn’t been a day's rest of his HUD, notifications running haywire like sugar-induced children running laps in a playground. But even little humans collapsed in exhaustion — you did a lot of that — and energy was spent, Nines’ string of leeching matches never tired. 

“How tall are you?”  

“Glad we matched! My place or yours?”  

“How big did they make you?”  

“Boring indeed,” silencing the utter mess of thirsty texts, he turned his attention back onto you, a croissant half-stuffed in a stun where you hadn’t expected an answer. Flakes stuck to your lip as you chewed, fluttering eyelashes moaning for you at the fill of French delectables. Your reactions amused him. People were boring, indeed.

You, however, were quite interesting.   

Many months of a developed friendship had the both of you puzzlingly closer. Intending to better work efficiency, Nines fed into your friendly advances, but he hadn’t expected to actually enjoy your company. You two had clicked like polar forces, self-fashioned laws of physics in your own little world together.   

Nines, surprisingly, was a pretty handsome wall to talk to. You enjoyed every little teenage-like whisper of gossip you shared, to which the android’s sharp ears picked up on the latest in the DPD. You’d grown accustomed to his partially stiff persona as he did to your free-spirited one. The moon to your sun, and he surely brightened in your gifted happiness. Kindred souls hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder, you were there for him, and he was there for you.  

Nines scoffed at deleting another chat thread with a persistent match mate.  

It started as a joke. ‘I can get more bitches than you,’ though you knew you were speaking out of your ass. You did not, dare you say could not get more bitches than a man who mastered being a man, despite being made plastic and steel.   

Eyes blue like arctic winds, soft but intimidatingly focused in burning through flesh, his face sculpted unfairly to turn heads his way. Broad shoulders and a narrow waist that looked good in anything, even you could admit that. You were no stranger to getting asked about his romantic status.   

The sheer size of him shifted uncomfortably in the little bakery’s equally little seats, shoulders swallowing the back of his chair as if his steel spine served a replacement. Discomfort, albeit making him stir again to lean forward with a frustrating twitch of brows, was still foreign to him; a bitterness that squirmed deep in his chassis. It had taken a while to identify and label the feeling.   

Experience was the tutor in the study of emotional understanding. Experience was his guide to an emotionally coloured world and discomfort was by far the dullest, sluggish and unattractive hue he’d come across.  

Nines heard an audible moan deep from your chest, satisfaction making you lick buttered fingers clean. Your palate cleansed except for pastry bits on your plate, following a trail to your lap, above your chest and still on your bottom lip. You, however, were that bit of colour that sagged his shoulders, the bit of colour that made him agree to silently accompany your weekly brunch ravishment.   

His chest shook in a chuckle at seeing you no less a mammal in its habitat, wild and careless, waving away thrown looks at your poor table etiquettes. Hair frenzied in a mess, your posture slouched as if you owned the ground around you, you had a flair of contentment with everything you did. Interesting human, indeed.   

“I wasn’t aware wearing your afternoon brunch was socially acceptable,” he quipped and your eyes widened, patting hands rubbing away crumbs that doubled his laughter. Croissant bits projectile in his direction, ultimately landing on the table and his lap. 

Your phone announced itself, a text ping waking up your screen with the surprising icon of a newly downloaded dating app. Flat on the table, Nines perked in out of curiosity. Your spread grin was better at drawing his attention.   

It could only mean one thing.  

“I’ve got a date on Friday.”  

-.—.-  

It just happened.   

Somehow in some weirdly fated way, you and Nines had your dates aligned. When you’d dress up for a dinner evening, he’d be suited up for one couple of roads down. The forgotten competition falling into a routine of complimenting each other’s outfits, you pointlessly fixing his collar and escorting either into another’s hands.   

As expected, you’d gasp at the sight of his fitted dress shirt, threaded buttons pulled taunt to the rise and fall of his chest. Bigger biceps smoothed into the arms of his blazer, an icy pair of eyes that’d drop anyone to their knees; you watched appreciatively, blessing your eyes with what his dates would be so lucky to sit across.   

Dang, he looked good. Who needed dinner if desert sat inches away?  

And he’d eye you similarly, following the curves and dips of your dresses, a taunting hug of fabric an extension of your skin leaving little to the imagination, not that he had any. Loose silk that hung low, embraced your thighs just right, it was enough to have you smiling at your reflection. You liked to look like this, beautifully sexy, earning heart eyes from victims you’d never contact again.   

Nines was effortlessly attractive, but you sure believed you were too, and confidence was already half the charm. There was a reason your dating race lingered neck-and-neck, people wanted him and people wanted you.  

Still, you didn’t understand why serial dating was so damn hard.   

Nines excused his admiring as a friendly reciprocal to yours and then you interlinked arms, trotting in pretty shoes to leave some date awestruck.   

Struck, definitely, so much so they didn’t show.   

“Fucking flunked on me,” all of your hours getting ready wasted for nothing. A dangling table light held you in spotlight, the universe laughing at your misery. The waiter dared to make a brief visit, scurrying away when you shot daggers, Phone glued to your ear, you lined a fork with distracted fingers, “I went through all that effort, for what?”  

“He dodged a bullet,” Nines teased, a smirk leaking into your speakers. You groaned annoyingly, a tad bit hurt though you’d never mention it. Nines only chuckled, “are you not hungry?”  

“Of course, I am,” your volume had diners eavesdropping, you lowered it, “but I’m not gonna sit here and eat alone like some… loner .”  

An elderly woman leaned into your line of sight, doing little to mask her judgement.  

“It’s embarrassing,” you sighed, straightening up subconsciously. Nines remained silent, a little something nagged you, “tell me you have better luck than me.”   

He did. Unlike you, Nines was glad his date didn’t show.   

“Unfortunately, detective, I have been cancelled on too.”  

“No. Way.”  

So, obviously, the next step pretty much carved itself out. You were both in need of a nice dinner, dressed to impress, and without your respective dates. Nines took no longer than necessary to join you, filling in the void of an empty seat as you did for him.   

This happened again, from your silk dress to a casual getup, and again, from fancy dining to amusement parks. From black tie gallery visits to turtleneck picnic dates. You found it harder to believe Nines was getting cancelled on when he kept miraculously showing up.   

It wasn’t a date, even if it always looked like it and you’d get ready as such. Painted lips smiled at him rather than some other guy, and neither of you was complaining about it.   

Upon reaching the front of the queue to an ice cream cart, did someone first state the obvious.   

“Here’s one for you and a drink for your partner.”  

You stilled, “oh, we’re not- he’s not-"  

“Thank you,” Nines took your waffle cone, giving it a tasteful lick before handing it to you. He walked away before you could protest.   

“What was that?” You fell behind his longer strides struggling, Nines always found it amusing.   

“What was what?” Pale flickers of his eyes were a tell of his naivety, “are we not partners?”   

Work ones, sure. “Pretty sure she was calling you my date.”   

For his advanced prototype kinks, he hadn’t preconstructed that theory. It was his turn to freeze, the ice of his irises solidifying the rest of his body, the only tell that he hadn’t fallen stasis being an amber spin on his temple. His abrupt halt had you bumping into his back with a grunt.   

Though your complaints died into laughter at seeing him so… off guard.   

“It’s not so bad,” you nudged him, elbow meeting his midriff, its proximity to his thirium pump regulator pulled a heavy huff through his voice. You winked, “you’d be lucky to score with me.”  

Park attendees walked in their chatter, dogs let off their leashes, rolling in the glass with both furry flesh and synthetic plastic alike. Families shared inside jokes, children playfully screaming on the lake’s perimeter. Information coded everywhere in his scans, the broken grid of his deviancy reminding him of his freedom.

But he grew overwhelmed around you.

The past few mutual flunks hadn’t exactly been… mutual. The moment you’d text him your date was boring, or the guy left you hanging again, he’d be the one to disappear mid-mingling and scurry away to accompany you. Surely, that’s what it meant to be a good friend, right?  

He wasn’t looking to replace your flings. He just merely wanted to be there for you. Be a light of colour as you had been for him so many times before.   

Nines blinked erratically, warning ambers giving him away.   

“Jeez, I’m not that bad,” you joked but he caught wrinkled brows of concern, following another lighter playful nudge on his arm. The contact teetered on the edge of overwhelming his processors.  

Neither of you talked about it.  

On came another Friday evening, a ping reminding you of a ‘Tomas’ looking forward to seeing you. Your dressing table mirror applauded the artistry of makeup whilst you merrily shoed up, throwing a text back via that dating app 2.0.  

“I’m so sorry! Can we reschedule?”  

“No show again,” you sighed, lying out of your ass, “how’s that android with the green hair doing for you?” 

“I’m afraid she does not feel interested anymore,” also a lie, Nines had pretty much blocked the persistent woman.  

Getting comfortable in the back row of your local cinema, which was supposed to be Nines escapade for the day, he passed you a popcorn bag, one he’d already bought for you. Lights dimmed at the title screen, Nines sneaked a glance at you, silently admiring the palette of your makeup. Nines liked it when you played with pigments, orange and purples finely painted on eyelids, bringing out the colour of your eyes. It pleasantly stimulated him.  

“What?” Curving in a half-smile, you caught his ogling.   

“You look lovely, detective,” it was pretty much routine at this point, to compliment you. Though this time, the air hung heavier, the smile never making it to his lips, his thirium pump straining for a beat when your vitals jolted the slightest.

He said it so sincerely; why did he sound so different? Your retort wasn’t given voice, a prickle of shivers meeting your extremities in a blush, you were glad the darkness covered for you.  

You swallowed down. He cleared his throat. The movie went on. But the heat of your body, the subconscious leaning on his arm, close enough he could decode the product in your hair, the movie wasn’t plenty distraction.   

And as if rA9 evilly taunted him, a couple cornered in the cinema audibly moaned, latched onto each like horny teenagers. You bobbed your brows at him, ‘kids these days’, but your skin grew hotter, ultimately arising a glitch or two in his system.  

“The movie was great,” you gulped a smile when he walked you home, kicking lone rocks, eyes weighed to the pavement, “I guess, I’ll- I’ll see you.”  

“Yes-,” he spoke too quickly, nodding, “I wish you a good night, detective.”  

You blinked, “you too. Goodnight to you too.”  

“Thank you.” His feet shuffled, “I shall go now.”  

“Get home safe, alright? Goodnight, Nines.”  

“Take care, detective.”  

Awkward couldn’t even begin to describe it.  

-.—.-  

The competition was long gone, dating threads snipped weeks ago when you decided to delete the apps once and for all. Nines had pulled from the single scene even before you did, gulping down excuses as to why he decided to bail on all his prospects.   

“No, we’re friends,” you’d say. Friends that helped each other down a couple drinks. Friends that slow-danced at New Jericho’s fancy dress party, to which Connor had invited you both. Friends that publicly teased each other with a flutter of eyelashes and hot heavy breaths.  

“Since when were you two dating?”   

“This is not a date!”  

Said you at a party where Nines was your plus one, glued to your side like your extension.   

It was getting ridiculous.  

Eventually, neither of you spoke about seeing other people, just assuming the other would turn up. On paper, and even in person, you both looked pretty stupid in denial.   

But one night, clinking afters with your department crew, did the dusted line between friendship and something more sharpen, something that made sense in the entanglement of your not-dates with Nines.  

Officer Wesley was clear in the intention to woo you and have you in bed, playfully raking his gaze and hissing out a compliment. He leaned in closer, elbow atop the bar front with a daring smile. Admittedly, you missed the thrill of being a tease, slipping your tongue out to wrap around the straw but not enough to give him a show. Wesley caught on your game, and for the officer he was, he’d happily play cat and mouse.   

But this time, things felt different and flirting with the dirty-blonde man felt wrong. Flirting with anyone felt wrong. And you couldn’t understand why.  

You flickered in the RK900’s direction, only to find him already watching Wesley talk you up at the bar. A heartbeat thumped particularly loudly when he held your eye contact, leaning back in his booth whilst tonguing his straw similarly to how you had done it.   

Fucking hell.  

“So, how about that drink?” The officer reminded, thumbing at the display of bottles behind the counter.   

Holy shit. You didn’t want to be like every other victim to the reeling of those darkened blue eyes, you weren’t like that.   

With a double take, you caught that damn triumph smirk on his face, as if he could see exactly what that tongue did to you, being on the receiving end of it. Fuck him, you wouldn’t let him win.   

Nines’ smirk faded as soon as you gave the officer your undivided attention, edging your barstool. Your touch crawling up his arm, soft lips leaning closer to his ear and speaking just out of earshot. It had the android inexplicably grinding teeth.  

That was another thing about deviancy it had taken him a while to calibrate; urges. The urge to partake in conversation, or flee from it even, the urge to tease you to the point your cheeks were coloured tomatoes. It was this urge that had an added darkness looming over you, two icicles boring into the back of your head.   

Sixth sense tied a thick knot in your throat.  

Wesley cleared his throat too, sitting up straighter, “Nines, you ah - you good?”  

The android didn’t look it, stalking over your shoulder like he’d no less bite into your neck and suck you dry in one go. But if this officer be a conquest you wanted to take to home, Nines would personally help you put on a show.   

That’s what good friends did, right? Help each other?  

He slitted fingers between chunks of your hair, pulling your head aside abruptly, the contact freezing you in place. You gasped as he lowered his mouth, speaking to the shell of your ear but loud enough for Wesley to pick it up, “we know you want to fuck our little detective, officer.”  

Nines dragged his lips against heated skin, tongue peeking out to taste you. And just as he expected, his HUD blasted with paintballs of colour at the encoding, his pump fluttering when your lashes did so.   

His other hand dragged up your waist, curving at the shape of your breasts and ghosting over your nipples. Lips replaced his tongue, and a trail of android saliva burned into your skin in his venturing down your throat. You took a staggering breath, forcing your eyes open, not realising they had closed.

“Your advances could use some work,” Nines spoke to Wesley, the man’s larynx bobbing at the sight of you melting.   

Large palms curled inwards on your thighs, pushing them apart on display and kneading flesh through fabric. You held back a moan, biting down on the feeling of leaking arousal. God, when did Nines feel so good?  

Nines smiled against your skin, lipsing down the expanse of your neck whilst you pretty much leaned to give him more room. His tongue prodded and lined the length of your passing artery, tasting your fastening pulse, you shivered under him. Even if rendered speechless, your body did the talking.   

Wesley couldn’t decide where to look, Nines prompted further.  

“You just need a little push.”  

Fingers roughly pressing between your legs, one push of a massage that forced a moan deep from your chest, and Nines retreated, taking a large step back. Wesley looked half as shocked as you did, your jaw clenching in the realisation of what just happened.   

Nines leaned carelessly on the bar, unbothered in leaving you aroused. That was his intention, no? To give you and your prospect a push in getting things going? Which is why he blinked confusingly when you shoved him, a frustrated scowl leaving your lips before you stomped out. Wesley sat glued to his chair, still recovering. Nines ran out after you.  

Light patters of rain met his scalp upon catching up to you. You groaned when he called your name.   

“You can’t just- do that!” You yelled, frustration grating your throat, showers dampening your hair, “you can’t just-“  

The android remained still, attempting to understand you with a series of yellow circles.   

“You can’t just touch me like that, Nines!”  

But his touch had arisen positive responses, his brow furrowed in confusion, “why?”  

You stumbled, eyes widening, “why- why? What do you mean why? You can’t go around touching up random people! It’s- it’s wrong!”  

You weren’t random people. Nines processed for a moment, rain splatters snugging the fabric of his sweater against his skin. His scanners quickly caught your gulp, “did you not enjoy it, detective? I assumed he needed a little push.”  

You blinked again, dumbfounded. Who gave him the right to put on a show for Wesley? What on Earth goes on in that metal brain of his?   

“That’s not- I wasn’t going to go home with him,” water collected on your lashes, “I don’t want him.” 

A wave of understanding struck him. He had misunderstood you and his ‘help’ stood void of reason. And recalling the way he stalked over you, no reconstruction software helped in justifying what he did, because the urge didn’t do it for you, it did it for himself.  

The warmth of your chest invited him, kisses digging into the valley of your neck whilst he continually decoded the electrolyte contents of your sweat. It quite literally fuelled him.   

Deviancy was a strange thing, though the only explanation for why Nines wanted to taste you again; he wanted to hear you breathe out his name, shaking with need, begging for more.

You shivered under water pellets, the silence weighing down each of your breaths. And hidden in the muddle of conflicted feelings, you craved Nines to touch you again, give you a warmth in frozen winds. Neither of you moved, and the ghostly burn of his lips longed for his return.   

“I’m going home,” you muttered, straying away from his scanners.  

He wasn’t your date. You weren’t together. But hell, if the assumptions of such didn’t make your heart flutter, you didn’t know what will. Besides, Nines was the embodiment of allurement, poised and perfect, what would he do with the likes of you?  

Arms wrapped around to wade off the cold, teeth chattering, you blinked a few before turning away to walk to your car, the gusts of wind trying to push you back. Nines wouldn’t see you as anything more than a friend, you were sure of it, but your disappointment was cut short when a firm grip latched around your wrist.   

He twisted you, swallowing a squeak with a collided kiss. The colours returned, blinding him tenfold in pretty pinks and bubbly yellows, prompting him to press a hand firmly on the base of your skull and keep you there.   

The tension in your spine remained, but you quickly came out of shock and fervently returned the moulding of your lips with his, hand trailing the flex of his pecs, damp fabric squelching under fingertips.  

The hand on your wrist migrated to the small of your back, pulling you closer. His tongue poked into your mouth, making you gasp at the added anatomy whilst he curled around ravishingly, wet sounds amidst the ambient splashes of rain. Both of your minds dazed, Nines blinking ambers at devouring you and you suddenly patting his chest with a light push.   

He pulled back to let you breathe but returned mid-inhale, this time eagerly tilting his head to see what better fit. He made out the whisper of his name between kisses, responding with an approving groan.   

“Nines,” you tried again, water running streams down your back as it poured heavier. You wondered if hypothermia was worth it, “nines, wait-”  

He kissed you passionately, hoping to swallow the colour of lips and paint his innards as such. Though he eased, slowing to a stop and you panted onto his jaw. He took in the sight, mimicked tears streaking your blue eyeshadow and mascara under the rain, he fought the urge to prod his tongue in your mouth again.   

He awaited your rejection. As you loved to remind everyone, Nines wasn’t your date, always the friend accompanying you instead. He’d be lying if he said watching you with other people didn’t bother him.   

But you didn’t scold him, nor push him away in a fury. You smiled, a toothy grin that you failed to bite away and broke into a soft giggle, “we’re in the middle of a street,” you shook your head, leaning a fraction of an inch closer, “and I’m soaking wet.”  

Nines pulled into a smirk, “you’re welcome.”  

There, the cherry rouge of your cheeks, that was another part of you he wished to consume wholly, preferably with his tongue.  

Everyone else felt wrong, but Nines felt right.  

And upon passing the threshold of your home, Nines proved the feeling to be mutual by meeting your lips again, vocally praising you when your arms wrapped around his neck. Kicking the door shut, his biceps wrapped you tight, squeezing the air in your lungs and suctioning it straight into his chassis.   

He stepped you back, tongue dancing with yours, his fingers tucking away wet hair from your face. You gasped as you hit the wall behind you, his hip bucking into yours with a noticeable erection.  

Hands rummaged under clothing, your damp shirt peeling off your skin with a gust of cold, leaving your hairs on end. The foyer’s air, however, grew dense when Nines hungrily eyed your body. Calm blue of his LED blinked an amber and he suddenly threw you over his shoulder.   

“Nines!” You shrieked, your protests dying as he caressed the back of your thigh. He carried you to your bedroom, bouncing you onto the mattress with a look that kept you frozen. You gulped in anticipation as he undressed whilst you were only stripped of your shirt.  

“Your body temperature has dropped to lower ranges,” he knelt between your legs, clasping your wrists immobile and kissing you into the sheets. You arched into him, gasping at the skin-to-synthetic contact. His lips ghosted to tongue at your jaw, a wet pad of the plastic muscle running up just below your ear.  

“I must heat you.”  

“You’re as cold as they come,” he pulled back to meet your remark, a teasing glimmer in your eyes. Nines kissed your collar, the sound of compensatory breaths prompting him to lower to your bra, unclasp it and swirl a perked nipple with his tongue.   

The moon slitted through blinds, painting him a blue that matched his temple. A warm breath breezed over your lower abdomen, fingers gripping the hem of your pants and shimmying them off. Wet skin made you sensitive to his touch, a tingling working overtime where he wrapped around your thighs, his lips hovering over your remaining underwear.   

Of all your dating partners, specifically those you had slept with, only a handful of them had been androids, and it never made it passed foreplay. Whether that be inexperience or hesitance, flings would be done after a touch-up.  

Nines had his fair share of sexual partners, learning what got people going and what fed his desires. But your unfiltered storytelling exposed you of kinks and likes that a curious android like Nines couldn’t help fantasising about.   

What would you look like under him? How did you sound when forced a rolling orgasm to ripple through you?   

A devilish smile made his lips before he took your undergarments in his teeth, lust-blown eyes watching how you shivered at the sight of him dragging them off. Wrapping around you twice as tight, he gave you a flat lick from slit to bud, pushing down your hips to stop your squirming. He was glad to find you were, indeed, soaking wet.  

Having him right there, head of brown bobbing up and down, experimentally sliding his tongue in places you didn’t know existed, the sight of him had you biting your lower lip, trying to chew down an embarrassing whimper.   

His tongue made circles around your clit, flickering left and right at a gasping pace. Your hands found his scalp, splitting his hair into sizeable chunks, holding on like the handlebars of a rollercoaster; and the way he looked at you, pupils swallowing icy blue into a predatory black, a shiver ran down your back, clenching your thighs against his biceps.  

Wet muscle prodded into your slit, eliciting a moan. You almost squealed when his thumb continued to press patterns on your clit whilst tongue-fucking you into the sheets. You pulled at the root of soft, chestnut hair, and he only picked up the pace, having you pant in line with his pace.   

You tipped over unexpectedly, crying out your orgasm with an abrupt push against his mouth. Nines crawled above you again, making you taste yourself with a deep, sharp kiss.  

To see you like this, body quivering for his touch, an undertone of pink blushing your skin, his field of vision saturated in the colour of you. He wanted more. He wanted to see you come undone again, paint you an orgasm that would stain him for the rest of his android existence. Maybe he understood why Markus created art so often, maybe abstract understanding was closer than he realised. Nines wished for nothing more than to place you high on a pedestal or pin you against the wall for reasons other than framing you a painting. 

“Every date you were bailed on,” he whispered confessions on your skin, gently lipsing your shoulders, “I cancelled mine to join you.” You stiffened under him, muscles taunt under his lips, he clarified, “I’d much rather have you than anyone else, detective.”  

Of course. You were right. Nines wouldn’t get bailed on that often, it was impossible. You mustered up enough air to speak, “if we’re confessing, I deleted the apps weeks ago.”  

Like the robot he was, he halted mid-kiss, a shifting yellow giving him away as it did back at the ice cream cart. You were both lying to each other, simply to be in each other’s company.  

You added with a tease, “you don’t have to lie to score a date with me, Nines.”  

“I thought I was ‘not a date’,” blue-greys accused you.  

“Yeah, I guess we’re both pretty stupid then.”  

Your smile brightened the room, despite moonlight barely filtering through your windows, corners bordering darkness. Nines mirrored the grin, dipping down to kiss you with a newfound heaviness in his chest. He pulled off his briefs, lips never leaving yours, and lined himself between spread thighs.  

Your breath hitched at the stretch of muscle when he pushed in, barely giving you time to adjust and pushing in further until he bottomed out. Or at least you hoped he did, you weren’t sure if you could take any more of him.   

Breathing in each other's pants, he rocked slowly, fingers bruising your wrists, lips bruising your neck. Nines grew desperate to see you in the colour of his lips, turning purples in broken blood vessels. His pelvis smacked again your clitoris, grinding an added stimulation, your head rolling back, moaning his name right into his ear.  

Setting a brutal pace abruptly, swallowing squeals in messy lip-locking, Nines stretched you to the teetering line of pain and pleasure, the head of his cock driving into a sensitive spot that jolted your nerves in bliss. He rutted like an animal, resting his forehead on yours, fucking you with a harsh snap of hips, your legs could only hold on for dear life. He loved to see the dip between your brows, raccoon-faced from messy makeup. It made him twitch inside of you.

“You feel so good. You look perfect,” he praised, bringing two fingers under your jaw to prompt eye contact. You met his darkened expression, his rouge curl tickling your forehead. Thumb shaping your lips, he pushed in knuckle-deep, pressing down on your tongue. You gave an instinctive suck as he growled, “you’re mine.”  

Every thrust brought about a new sound from your throat, and with your mouth forced half-open, there was little you could do to stop them. Your eyes rolled back, toes curling at a rolling orgasm, the sounds of sex driving you to buck into him as he did you.   

You were desperate, needy, and what was left of Nines’ restraint was snapped. He fucked hard, muttering profanities as he edged closer, seeing you at the mercy of everything he gave you flipping him inside out.   

He wanted to see you like this, again and again. His thumb subconsciously retracted his simulated skin, a ripple in your mouth that diverted your attention, and a glowing blue lit up from below the whites of his hand. An interface, the both of you realised. You moaned at his display of intimacy. 

Nines staggered into you, losing his rhythm. 

You looked good in blue.   

“Come for me.”  

And with sharp thrusts, you arched into a mind-blowing orgasm, limbs shaking as he continually dragged in and out to chase his own. He spilled with a throb, panting at the chance of painting you inwards as you did to him, and watched the slowed pumping of where the both of you connected.   

Though upon spotting a trail of blueish white leaking out of you, his hips bucked involuntarily, eager for another round.   

You moaned in euphoria, and that was enough for him to keep going.

It was no surprise Nines adored the sight of you decorated in his markings, growling in every painted colour you presented. So, the next steps carved themselves, and you had a great idea for your next date.   

Painting.

[mythicmanuscripts]

hi!! thank you for all your work, I binge read it all and now I just go back and reread over and over! I know you do GOT too, so just to start off, what about sub!Robb with a betrothed/wife he’s known for a long time? maybe he’s really stressed out after ned leaves to kings landing and he has to take over, and the only emotional release he can find and really trust is letting himself fall into subspace with you?

His mother is preoccupied with Bran after the accident and he has to be strong in front of the rest of Winterfell, but with you he can just let himself float and get all clingy and teary and know you’ll take care of him—

haha I’ll say thank you and stop before I start rambling too much!

This is so good!! I absolutely love Robb (I think this is where my love for Jace comes from actually) so I am very very happy to start off GOT talk with him!! (Sidenote: wanna know the GOT character I love the most? Sansa. I would die for her. She went from my least favourite character to my absolute favourite, 10/10 character development)

My answer isnt too explicit but there's definitely NSFW undertones and implied sexual activity so I'm gonna put it under a cut just to be safe :)) Also, all my GOT content will have the appropriate tags such as 'game of thrones' and 'game of thrones x reader' so if you don't want to see this content then just block one of those tags.

So firstly, I love the idea of being long time friends with Robb and long time betrothed? Kinda simpler to the Jace and Baela relationship with you and Robb being promised to each other a long long time ago. Maybe after you're promised to Robb you choose to stay at Winterfell after that? Or maybe you're supposed to stay for a few weeks and then return home but when it's time to leave you decide to stay.

You and Robb get along incredibly well from the moment you met and you're both so excited to one day be married. Robb definitely constantly calls you his betrothed and will tell off anyone who says anything inappropriate about you or tries to get too close to you because you're his betrothed.

I think maybe what happens is Ned tells you both that you will finally get married when he returns from King's Landing? Of course you're both overjoyed about this. There had definitely been moments where you two came close to doing things you shouldn't before marriage, and to be honest you would have happily not waited until marriage, but Robb is the perfect gentleman and honour is so important to him not only his but yours. He would never ever do anything that would make people question your honour.

However, once Ned leaves and it becomes very clear that he's not going to come back anytime soon and Robb is having to take on the role of the head of Winterfell... then things start to come apart.

You can see how much he's struggling, and of course you'd never turn him away. At first it's just coming to you and asking for advice and venting. You have always been each other's safe space, and since you're supposed to one day be the lady of Winterfell as well as his wife, of course you listen and help him.

Robb starts to lean on you quite a bit, which he appreciates so much and he doesn't know what he'd do without you. In public Robb seems to be very put together and the pressure he's under never shows. But once the doors are closed and it's just the two of you, he allows the facade to fall and lets you see how much he's struggling.

You always listen and help him. You offer advice but you also just offer a safe space, allowing him to rest and relax. You always offer him hugs and distractions and he appreciates you so so much.

Pretty soon a problem comes up. When he's alone with you and all his walls are down, it's very hard for him to hold back? He wants so badly to just dive into your arms and kiss you and be comforted. He knows you're not married yet so he's not supposed to even touch you really, but he can't help it when he's feeling so stressed and so vulnerable and he just needs someone to make him feel good.

It starts off with you letting him hug you a lot more and then it goes into cuddling. Originally Robb feels that even this is too far, but you reassure him because you can see how bad he needs it. You also remind him that you're his future wife. He can't ruin your honour because he's the one you're supposed to keep the honour in tact for.

Pretty soon you've got a routine. He comes to you and the two of you cuddle together and you listen to him vent. Then you'll either offer him advice or just distract him? He's honestly like a cat, practically purring as you rub his back and play with his hair.

I think this is where he starts to drop into subspace? At first he's not quite sure what's going on, all he knows is that suddenly he feels like he's not close enough to you and he's getting all weepy and desperate and he has no idea why. You notice his distress of course, and you try to help him as best you can but it's very clear he's wanting to be closer, wanting more.

You'd grant him that if you thought he actually wanted it but it was pretty clear that he wasnt in the right headspace. So instead you just hold him extra tight until he calms down enough to fall asleep. The next time you're alone with him you have a conversation about it.

He tells you he's not sure what happened. But most importantly, he assures you that while he was at first scared, you calmed him down perfectly and after that he slept better than he had in weeks.

So you allow more and more of it, both because he needs it and because honestly you love being able to see him like that and you feel so privileged to look after him.

He starts to kneel for you after that and he loves it so so much. The first sexual thing that comes from it is just him eating you out? He won't allow you to return to favour, but he absolutely loves being able to do it to you.

Needless to say, the marriage date ends up being brought forward.

[chibishortdeath]

Woahg, that’s a lot—

Explanations under a cut :3

This is Simon like immediately after defeating Dracula. Just sitting on his knees, hands on his face. He needs a minute, but he’s not gonna get a long one cause the castle is collapsing—

Wow! What a nice happy family :3. I sure hope nothing happens to them! :3 I’ve always liked to arrange the series of events like first Selena and Simon met and got married, then the Dracula stuff went down, so uh yeah uh fan interpretation of their (currently) unnamed kids.

The text here says “where’s momma?”, said by his daughter (who by this point is 2-3 about). Shout out to the artist ability to make yourself really sad—

Just Simon and the kids chillin. He probably was a really good dad, just kinda struggling.

Little quick doodle of the designs of the kids. Agh I need to name both of them (TwT ). It’s hard, I feel like they gotta have nice but cool names, but I just haven’t found any I like yet. Anyway, the one on the left is the older daughter and the one on the right is the younger brother and as of Simon’s quest they are 10 and 7 respectively. The brother would’ve been born the year of CV1 if I have my math right, so when Simon was 22.

Sobbing! It be like that sometimes 💀. This might count as like one part vent art and one part just expression and emotion practice :O.

This one also kinda counts as vent art I guess lol idk. It says “I did everything right”. I was thinking of a specific audio while drawing this and tbh I might actually have to animate something hmmm. Or just still images cause animation is hardddddddd oof. The text isn’t like from the audio or anything either (>< ;).

This one is based on an old insert character here kind of meme :D. The text says “step 1: establish character with a little worry but a lot of determination. Step 2: inflict soul crushing trauma Step 3: inflict soul crushing trauma—“ and that repeats until step 5 lol. The original meme only had two images, but each of these are supposed to be based on specific events so yeah. First one is just pre CV1, then the moment he got hit, then shortly after leaving the castle, then in the graveyard 6 years later, then somewhere in the middle of his quest.

This one is fun!!!!!! It’s an idea for like a double sided keychain :D!!!!! One side has the like CV1/CV4 era Simon swinging on one of those loops and the other is Simon’s Quest!!! And it’s supposed to be the Hanged Man tarot card!!! So cool!!! Idk how making keychains works so if I actually did this I’d probs just make one in shrink plastic tbh. But ough it would be so cool to actually make and sell little fan keychains and stuff (TwT ).

This one I don’t remember if I’ve posted or not but it’s never getting finished 💀💀💀. Gotta love drawing The Character in increasingly dynamic poses and surreal ways.

Ok it’s super late I have to sleep 💀👍

[tinydefector]

Hi-! You know, I find it impressive and concerning how you've manage to shove high-quality fics at our mouths in such short intervals.

Are you okay....? Do you need a break?

Hahahha honestly I'm a mix and match at the moment. Writing is kinda my only escape from the real world. So I tend to write alot and try to put as much into it as I can as my coping mechanism.

Under the cut for full story behind alot of why I write and pump out as much as I can. Jsut don't want to force anyone to have to read Trauma dump so it's under cut if anyone wants to read it.

So I write a heap to take my mind off my mother's passing, which I'm still dealing with. She passed in a horrific workplace accident in jan 2023, and I'm sadly still fighting to get information and justice for her death. But also being the eldest of her children and her being a single mum all of the legal side of everything I have to handle. Due to her only being 43 when she passed. While this year I'll be 24.

She was my best friend and pushed me to do what I loved from cosplay, art, writing, animal work. So it hit me rather hard when I found out.

So writing and drawing are really my only escape. It helps me disassociate from real life and not have to deal with all the emotions and how much it actually messed me up.

Fictional characters have become my safe haven and made life much easier to cope when I can use writing as a way to Vent, cry or just exist in a different space. And Transformers happen to be one of those ones which don't have tainted memories for me and bring me the most comfort.