#acoustic brain dump

[hagfishviperfish]

i had a dream about

two different obsessions with junji ito personified, one a creepy man who owned a local store, impressed his impressions of the characters in his own fanmade comics, so much you thought they were official. beef jerky in his store, all these souvenirs, things he made out of love for the characters. the other an official artist of the comics on instagram. she was more legit than him, the store owner, who was also said to be my father

sparse restaurants owned in a mall by people i know. these two startup an italian place. a gay boy i know and the girl from hunger games ballad of snakes and songbirds

getting into the roof section of the apartments through dragging yourself up a pole, wheelchair friendly ones were longer and touched the ground. rainforest restaurant and a buffet that was lesser quality, cheaper

going around college looking into the personal suite houses with my childhood best friend. we were recorded and supposedly went viral. lonely touching a boy's arm. bible study with people you don't relate to. iphone charger blocks stacked on the campus quad. drama about my friend's ex boyfriend. he liked a minor but it turned out he was a minor at the same time. seeing the type of people my roommate would be friends with around

using the bathroom in my elementary school gym bathroom

uh, a lake riddle (junji ito man's storeside attraction) where you found and collected all the different types of fish in the river...for an achievement. there were swimming monkeys that gave you riddles. it was this neighborhood or town i went to a lot with my cousins, or high school friends, or fair ground i got lost from my mother on, a mcdonalds on the other side that was changed too much

was it the boy i've been seeing who took me out in a school bus, through the woods, to a pink lake, sick frothing, abandoned playground, here's this convoluted thing you'd make up about what would happen if you didn't go in the water when i told you to. and then i push you in anyway. and the pink water changes you and makes you fucked up. it was an amusement park here. a dam

[kaliforniahigh]

birds of a feather, we should stick together - n.s. (part one)

Best friends to lovers, fake dating and best friend Noah <3

Warnings: a mean character, curse words, Noah makes fun of fine line tattoos, lies and reader trying to fit in to the best of her abilities. If I missed something, let me know!

Part 2 is in the works and coming soon!

WC: 4.3k words.

Requests are closed for now / Click here to be added to the permanent tag list <3

To say you were overly excited to meet up with your high school friends would be a total lie. When you told Noah they arranged a lunch date, to remember the good old days, he scoffed, and asked you why you even stayed in the group chat with these people.

Truth is, they weren't all bad. Acually, most of them were pretty nice, It was the Regina George of the group, also known as Jade, who fucked up the vibes.

Jade was a mean girl, and she never understood why you were friends with the awkward emo kid, with the side-swept bangs. This emo kid being your best friend, Noah Sebastian, who was the first person you met when you enrolled in a new school, in the middle of the school year.

It was 6th grade, and you had just moved to Richmond, VA. Your dad was transferred, so you had to find a new home, in a new city.

You and Noah became friends fast, being paired up by your English teacher during reading classes, you talked more than you actually read. He found out, that even though it didn't look like it, you enjoyed the same bands as he did. And that you learned to play acoustic guitar from a pretty young age.

You told him that your dad was in a band during his college years, but, due to adult responsabilities, it became more of a hobby for him than anything else.

Soon, the two of you were inseparable. Walking down school corridors together, him going to your house to do homework, and showing you around the city on the weekends.

You were the one who took school more seriously than him, and you were the one who ended up going to college and getting your Master's degree right after. But he was the one who always took you to watch his band practice, who took you to watch his friends - who were always much older than the two of you - perform.

When you were both 15, Noah told you he was going to drop out of high school. You weren't too happy, because you wouldn't have your best friend with you anymore, but you always knew the time would come, and were surprised he didn't decide to do it much sooner.

And that's how you met Jade and her friends. You weren't popular by any means, but, one day, she approached you and asked you how you styled your hair so nicely, and how she loved your pink tips.

You wanted to tell her that your best friend helped you. When you told Noah you wanted a splash of color in your hair, he went to the store with you to buy the necessary things. He wanted you to do purple, but you settled on pink. You remember him huffing in annoyance, telling you that pink was such a boring color.

At home, he helped you with the back of your head, while you spread the vivid color on the front pieces. It turned out amazing, and you joked that he could be a hair stylist if this band thing didn't work out.

Noah and Jade never really got along. The first day they met, Noah was picking you up from school, waiting for you in the parking lot. You remember Jade making a backhanded remark about his tattoos and the way he dresses, and Noah's face turned sour immediately.

After that, anytime they were in the same vicinity, shady comments were thrown by both of them. Noah always commenting about how the bleach in her hair must've gotten to her brain, and Jade commenting about how Noah was a wannabe rockstar.

Noah asked you many times why you kept her around, instead of dumping her and finding new friends, and you always explained how it wasn't that easy.

This was high school, and everyone already had their group of friends, not really being keen on letting other people in. Besides, without him there, and without the girls, you truly had no one else.

At the end of the day, he understood. Noah himself had a hard time making friends, and to this day, he never understood how someone like you decided to befriend him. He knew how being solitary could ruin your years in high school.

Now, sitting in this overpriced lunch spot they found downtown, you were contemplating your life choices as you tried to eat your Caeser salad without grimacing. All of them ordered fucking salads, and you did the same, not wanting to be the only one ordering chicken parm.

"Girlies", Jade said, wiping her mouth with a napking and setting it back down on her lap. "I know this is a reunion, but I have such good news", she clapped her hands excitedly. Typical Jade, always wanting the attention on her.

Everyone stopped eating to pay attention to what she was saying.

"So, you know how Peter proposed to me last year, right?", everyone nodded yes. "We're getting married in two months!", she exclaimed, reaching inside her Louis Vitton bag and pulling out what seemed to be wedding invitations. "And all of you are invited!"

The girls cheered and started to hug her, you did the same, expressing your happines for your friend.

"It's going to be in the Bahamas, in an all-inclusive resort", she informed, handing out the wedding invitations. Meanwhile, you were wondering with what money you were getting your ass to the Bahamas.

"Peter is paying all the expenses, for everyone, so don't even worry about it", she said, as if reading your thoughts.

Jade got engaged to the kind of person everyone thought she was going to date. Peter was a hot shot plastic surgeon based in LA. You had no doubt he racked up millions of dollars every month just fixing people's faces. Jade herself had something new done everytime you met up.

"What about you, Y/N? Who are you bringing as your plus one?", Emma asked. You guess you zoned out and missed part of the conversation.

"You're bringing your boyfriend, right?", Lily chimed in.

Did they even know if you had a boyfriend or not? You looked around the table, all the girls waiting for your answer. You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, your eyes noticed all of their beautiful engagement rings, and you didn't have the courage to say you were still single.

"Yeah, of course", you answered, hoping you were convincing.

"Uhh, that's amazing! Who is he?", Jade asked, excitment coating her voice.

Shit. Who the fuck would you say is your boyfriend?

"Noah", you said. He was the first person to come to mind, and you didn't hesitate to say his name.

You saw Jade's face twist in a frown.

"You're dating Noah?", she asked, judgment evident in her tone.

"Hmm, yeah, for a while now", you were lying through your teeth at this point.

"Well", she shrugged. "I guess it was always gonna happen anyways", and just like that, the rest of the girls went back to their conversations, while you mulled over what the hell you had just done.

You were already gonna tell Noah to come with you to the wedding the moment she handed out the invitations, which, was going to be a difficult task in itself, since Noah held a grudge against Jade to this day. But you were sure you could convince him with the all-inclusive resort argument.

Now, not only did you have to convince him to go with you, but you had to tell him you told the girls you were dating?

You were already thinking of excuses not to go.

When everyone was finished with their meals, they slowly started to say their goodbyes. You did the same, giving each one of them a kiss on the cheek as you made your way out of the restaurant and to your car.

When you got in, you instantly fished your phone from your purse, dialing Noah's number.

"You need saving from the botox bitch?", Noah answered the phone. You rolled your eyes, but laughed anyway.

"I'm already leaving the restaurant, actually. I was calling to ask if I can come over"

"Since when do you call to ask if you can come over?", he asked, confusion in his voice. He was right, you usually just showed up.

"I don't know? To make sure you're home?"

"You know I'm always home"

"Can I comer over or not?", you asked again, a hint of fake annoyance in your voice.

"Of course you can"

"Then I'll see you in fifteen", you said, hanging up the phone and starting your car.

On the way over to Noah's house, you've been thinking about how you were going to break the news. You still had a little while to think about what you were going to tell him, but, you knew that as soon as he saw your face, he'd know you were hiding something from him.

So, without an actual plan, you decided to tell him today. That way, you wouldn't have to torture youself for days with this information, and you gave him more time to prepare. That is, if he even decided to go.

You trusted your abilities to convince him, though. Noah had a history of doing whatever you wanted just to see you happy, and you never took advantage of that, but desperate times call for for desperate measures. Besides, a vacation to the Bahamas, with all expenses paid, didn't seem all that bad. Even if you had to endure Jade for a few days.

Parking outside, you gave yourself a pep talk before leaving your car and locking it behind you. Using your spare key, you unlocked the front door and made your way inside the living room, announcing your arrival by calling Noah's name.

"I'm right here, what are you yelling for?", he answered from the couch, the PS5 controller in his hands. You just shrugged in answer, and sat next to him.

Grabbing your purse, you pulled out the fancy wedding invitation Jade had handed to you, and set it on the couch beside him and between the two of you. Grabbing it and reading what was written in gold letters, Noah's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, so the queen of botox is getting married to the king of botox?", you gave him a sideways glance, but smiled at his nicknames for the couple. It did suit them, after all.

"Yeah, they are. Jade couldn't help but announce it today", you pointed out.

"Well, are you going?", he asked, setting the invitation back down.

"Hmm. It depends, I guess", you answered, avoiding his eyes and you could tell he already clocked that something is wrong.

"Why?", he asked, a little hesitant.

"Jade said we can bring a plus one"

"Yeah, you usually can at weddings"

"And I was thinking....", you trailed off and looked at him, seeing the exact moment the realization dawned on him, and he immediately started to shake his head.

"There is no way", he said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the kitchen. You got up as well and went after him.

"Why not?", you asked him, a little bit of whining in your voice.

"Are you seriously asking 'why not'?"

"I mean, I know you don't like her, but c'mon, this is gonna be a nice wedding. Besides, it's in the Bahamas, and Peter is paying for everything", you argued.

"Is it's because it's in the Bahamas, I can pay for a vacation for us in the Bahamas, no problem", he crossed his arms against his chest.

"It's not because of that"

"Y/N", he stepped closer towards you. "You know you can just go alone, right?"

"I can't go alone", you huffed in annoyance, because his argument was totally valid, but you did not have that option anymore, all because of your big mouth and will to please everyone.

"Why not?", he asked, confusion etched all over his face.

"Because...", your shoulders slumped as you realized the gravity of your mistake.

"Hey", he grabbed your shoulders, sensing your discomfort. You were never uncomfortable around him, so this behaviour from you scared him a little bit. "You can tell me, what is it?"

"I told them I have a boyfriend", you say, voice low and a little embarassed.

"But you don't have a boyfriend", he observed the obvious, having difficulty in understanding where you were going with this.

"I told them it was you", you looked down towards the floor, fingers going to rub your forehead as you waited for his reaction. The seconds ticked by, and the silence ate you alive.

"You...", he started, but stopped himself in his tracks, head going over what you just told him, to make sure he got it right. "You told them we were dating?", you answered with a head nod, still looking down.

"Y/N", he said your name with a little bit of annoyance lacing his tone. He looked up at the ceiling, as if willing the heavens to give him the strength to deal with you.

"I know, I know", you say, looking up at him. "It was just that they were drilling me about this and I didn't know what to do!"

"Tell them you're not dating anyone?", he deadpanned, and you hated that he kept stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but they already see me as the odd one out, what are they gonna think when I tell them that I'm almost thirty and not dating anyone? They're all engaged, for fucks sake!", you exclaimed and started to pace around the kitchen.

"You worry about what they think of you too much", Noah pointed out. He hated the way you felt like you always had to please them, they way you always thought you had to fit in into their world.

"It's ok, I'll just come up with an excuse so I don't have to go to the wedding", you waved your hand, dismissing this conversation. You were already feeling your head start to throb. You made your way to the couch, grabbing your purse, and the invitation.

Behind you, you hear Noah let out a big breath, before softly calling out your name. You stopped in front of the door and turned around to face him.

"You owe me big fucking time", he pointed a finger at you, and you couldn't help but let a smile dance over your lips.

"You're gonna do this?", you asked, a little doubtful.

"You're doing my laundry for two weeks", he comprimised. "No, three weeks. Fuck it, you're doing my laundry for a whole fucking month"

You cheered at this, not minding it one bit. His laudry was easy since he only had black clothes.

You skipped your way over to him, reaching your arms up and circling them around his neck to pull him into a hug. You couldn't see, but he had a smile on his lips as well.

At this moment, Noah thinks he would do just about anything to keep you happy.

"At least she can't make fun of your hair anymore", you observed, as you parted from him. He groaned in reply.

"Don't fucking push it", he warned you, but there was no real threat to his words.

"Oh!", you snapped your fingers as you remembered an important information about the wedding. "I forgot to tell you something"

"What is it?", he asked, looking at you sideways in suspiscion.

"It's at an all-inclusive resort", you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. "Besides", you continued "Jade's probably gonna invite so many people, we won't even cross paths with her", you observed.

"I hope you're right"

To say you had a lot of time to prepare was a lie. Time flew by incredibly fast, and in between work, choosing a dress and picking up a suit for Noah - who complained endlessly about having to wear it, you argued that he can't wear a black tank top to a wedding, and he huffed and puffed even more - you were only one day away from boarding the plane.

You were going over everything in your suitcase. Another thing Noah was going to complaing about, you can hear his voice in your head asking you why you needed so much stuff. You zipped it up when you decided that obsessively thinking if you forgot anything was not going to make you magically remember something.

You texted Noah that you were ready for him to pick you up. You both decided it was best if you slept over at his house, and he was asking one of the boys to drive you over to the airport for practical reasons.

It wasn't too long before you heard honking outside, signaling Noah's arrival. You took everything you needed, and looked around you to make sure you locked everything up, and when you were satisfied with your quick inspection, you walked over and opened the front door.

Noah was opening the trunk when he saw you.

"Don't say anything", you raised your hand up to stop the words you were sure were going to stumble from his lips. He raised his arms up in surrender and didn't say anything. But, he did make overexaggerated grunting noises as he hauled your bags inside the trunk. You ignored him and went to lock your front door instead.

Getting in the car and driving away, you pulled your phone from your pocket.

"Jade already texted the flight information", you observed.

"At least she's competent", he retorted.

"Imma need you to try and be civil, at least. Remember we're going to enjoy the beach and drinks", you reminded him of what you've been saying for the past weeks. "And you can't call them botox queen and botox king".

"If she doesn't talk shit about my tattoos, we'll be fine", he argued back.

"Her husband has tattoos", you pointed out, as if that makes the situation any better.

"I bet it's some fine line pussy ass tattoo of a lion or some shit like that", he grunted in annoyance, remembering he's gonna have to deal with Jade AND her husband.

"You know what?", you rubbed you chin in thought. "I think it actually is", you pondered, and you both couldn't help but cackle out loud about the fact that he was most likely right about the tattoo.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch. You ordered some food so you didn't get any pans or pots dirty before traveling, and soon, you were both ready for bed, since you were leaving pretty early in the morning to catch your flight.

You were getting comfortable in Noah's left side of the bed, when he came in the room, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, joining you under the covers.

Plugging your phone to charge, you turn to look at him, doing the same.

"Did you set the alarm?", you asked and he hummed a yes. "Did you set it really loud?", he hummed in reply once again.

He knew you got anxious whenever you had to do something important in the morning. You always thought some entity was going to disable the alarms you set on your phone and you wouldn't wake up in time.

"Don't worry, we'll get there with lots of time to spare", he reassured you, and opened his arms so you could lay against his chest.

Sleep found you easily, as it always did whenever you and Noah slept on the same bed. You were used to sleeping in an empty house, since you've been living on your own ever since you moved for college. But to say your sleep was calm and serene was a lie.

With him, you felt safer, like he could protect you from everything and anything. You trusted him more than you trusted anyone else in your life.

Noah, wasn't as tired as you were, and he contemplated how these days were going to go over as he waited for your breath to even out. It was a ritual of sorts whenever you two slept together. He always waited for you to fall asleep first. And, sometimes, when you had difficulty sleeping, he sang some soft tunes, or rubbed your scalp the way he knew you liked, and that always did the trick.

Next time you woke up, was with Noah's shrill alarm ringing on the bedside table. He really did set it really loud, because you were groaning and telling him to turn it off. He woke up with a yawn, disentangling his arm from under your torso to finally quiet the alarm.

Yawning and stretching your limbs all over the bed, you heard Noah chuckle beside you.

"You're like a damn cat, stretching like that", he pointed out, looking at you with a smile on his face.

He always thought you were the most adorable in the morning. Your hair was a little messed up, and your eyes were all tired and fighting sleep. A part of him wished he could just pull you back to rest beside him and resume sleep. But, the trip from hell awaited the two of you.

Getting up from the bed, he announced he was going to brush his teeth and take a shower, meanwhile, you busied yourself gathering all of the suicases and backpacks downstairs.

As soon as Noah left the bathroom, you went in there and did your morning routine as well as you could with your stuff all packed away. Luckily, you kept a few things over at his place for convenience.

Changing into something comfortable for the airport, you made your way downstairs and found Noah dressed in usual sweatpants and hoodie combo.

"Did you grab your sleep mask? I won't lend you mine this time", you told him. Last time, you had to endure a whole flight without your sleep mask, because Noah had forgotten his, and you had no heart to tell him no when he asked to borrow yours.

"Yes, ma'am. I grabbed my sleep mask", he answered. "I already texted Jolly, and he's on his way to pick us up".

"Did you lock everything up?"

"Yep, already checked the entire house while you were showering"

Noah was used to this. You had a ritual everytime you were travelling, and he learned that getting ahead of you was the best thing to do. That way, you wouldn't get stressed with things he didn't do, or forgot.

Right on cue, you heard a horn souding outside, Noah opened the door and was greeted with Jolly waving from inside the car.

"Ok, let's go", you clapped your hands in a "chop chop" motion.

On the way to the airport, Noah and Jolly chatted on the front seat, while you went over the flight details on your phone, making sure everything was in order for check-in. Noah hated airports, so he left you in charge of everything he found boring.

The drive was short, and soon, you were bidding Jolly goodbye at the drop off zone, and you didn't miss the little pat on the back and the "good luck" he wished Noah before getting back in his car and driving away.

Checking-in, you and Noah found a place to sit while he grabbed some breakfast for the two of you. While you sat there, eating and waiting, you were reminded of a very important detail that you forgot to discuss with him.

"Oh, my God! I totally forgot to talk to you about something", you exclaimed, swatting him in the chest to get his attention.

"This is the second time you forgot to tell me something about this wedding trip", he said.

"When they ask us how we got together, what are we gonna tell them?", you ask him. You've been going over all the lies you'd need to tell during this trip, and you realized that you and Noah didn't have a game plan at all.

"That one day, you professed your undying love for me and then we started to date?", he said, as if the answer was obvious, but you could tell he was sprinkling a little bit of sarcasm in there.

"I'm serious, Noah", you huffed, looking at him. "We have to be beliveable, otherwise, they'll catch on, and ruin the whole thing"

"We can just tell them that we realized we wanted to have something more than just a friendship", he suggested, and the idea wasn't so bad. Jade always said you'd end up together from how much time you spend with each other.

"Out of nowhere?"

"No, we've been hiding our feelings, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way, until, one day, I told you I liked you and you told me you liked me too", you rubbed your chin, thinking over his plan. "It's not overcomplicated and if we stick to the same story, we'll be fine", he reassued you. "Besides, Jade is so self-absorbed she'll probably not even ask anything about us at all"

"That's very likely", you agreed with his reasoning. After all, it was Jade's wedding, so the light is gonna be on her, and not on you and Noah.

"What about PDA?", you broached another subject that you've been avoiding.

"If you wanna kiss me, you can just ask, you know?", he teased you, nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's not what I meant, and you know it", you told him, but you weren't able to hide the little blush covering your cheeks, and he noticed too, by the way he was grinning.

"I can hold your hand. I mean, I kind of already do. But let's just go with the flow. You don't have to worry too much about this, it's just a couple of days, after all", he said, and he was right. You and Noah meshed well and were usually in the same wavelength, so there was no reason to think things were going to go south.

You just hoped you had time to relax and enjoy the beach, the drinks and the foods, which, if you knew Jade as well as you did, were going to be impeccable.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @miwomens @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @prettygirlrock126 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @kenjipepsi1 @montgomery-929496 @daddy-dierkes-girlie @stardustsirenmelody @cheyyyyr @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @youlookforultraviolet @w0manof-flesh44 @chaoticwineaunt @geminigirlfromfinland @turn-your-life-into-folklore @butterflyeffect07 @zozaline @deardelirium @ferduttini @jilliemiw86 @alylanaeblack @lilcrazy011

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 ↓ | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“That’s an awful idea” Gareth states from the other side of the room. 

“It’s not as bad as the one he had for the Leave You music video,” Jeff adds helpfully. 

“It’s one of our biggest hits,” Frank chimes in.

Eddie is just waiting for the band to reach the right conclusion.It’s such a bad idea that it actually makes it a genius one. Eddie knows it and he’s known it ever since he woke up in the middle of the night with it forming in his brain. 

They need another hit. Eddie has just the song for that, called Hate That I Loved You, about all the times he failed at love. Which were… a good amount. 

The song is good. Harsh, loud, heartbreaking. Eddie might’ve cried when he first played it acoustic on his guitar, all alone after getting dumped by his last boyfriend. 

It’s about how he’s never good enough for anyone. It’s raw. 

“Fine, let’s do it,” Gareth finally gives in and Eddie just smiles. His idea is as painful as the song. He’s going to call his exes and ask them to be in the music video. The song is not so much about them, it’s more about Eddie himself, but he likes the dramatic effect of having to face all his mistakes in one day as he sings his heart out.

He knows the tabloids will eat that shit up. He knows it’s the push the band needs to blow up and exactly the edgy, weird shit everyone expects from them He’s willing to take one for the team. He’s doing it

Pre production rolls around quickly, Chrissy is too damn good at her job, and soon it’s time for Eddie to do the hard part. He needs to call the exes and ask them. 

He has six in total, he will be happy if he gets five to participate, but will settle for four. Knows two are harder.

David, Sean and Pedro are in from the start. It’s not surprising, really, they broke up in friendly terms, still talk sometimes, and are happy to indulge Eddie’s crazy ideas. Always had been. 

His first no comes with Josh. He thought it was an easy yes but he was wrong.

Josh is happily married and not looking for any drama in his life and Eddie means drama. He can’t argue. Eddie winces as he remembers serenading Josh while high out of his mind, making noise under his dorm window like an idiot. Josh hangs up before Eddie can beg and that’s it.

That leaves him with 3 yes and 2 that he doesn’t know. Despite still being hurt by the break-up, Eddie calls Lou first. Lou is… Hard. His voice sends chills down Eddie’s spine and he almost chickens out. He’s the one that set Eddie off with this song, to begin with.

He’s the one that makes Eddie feels like he’s far from being enough. He’s the one who told Eddie he was selfish and unlovable and Eddie knows he still feels it as Lou flirts with him through the phone. 

He’d never been good to Eddie but he was what Eddie thought he deserved it.

“Of course I’ll star in your video, babe,” Lou agrees easily and Eddie wishes he’d said no. Eddie thinks there’s still time for him to back down from the idea. Knows the guys would understand. Knows they all remember having to drag Eddie out of bed after a week of wallowing.

He stands his ground. Thinks this might be what he needs to get over Lou. To get him out of his system forever. 

He also stands his ground because he knows the next number by heart. Had known it for the past 7 years and couldn’t really get rid of it.

His brain cling to Steve just like his heart had. 

He feels dizzy as the line rings and feels like he’s going to faint as Steve’s voice comes through the speaker. 

“Hello?”

“Steve, hey. It’s, um, it’s Eddie.”

The silence is so loud Eddie thinks he’s gone deaf.

“Eddie?”

“Munson. You know, from-”

“I know,” Steve’s voice gets so small Eddie wishes he had never called. “What…”

Whatever question he has dies on Steve’s throat and Eddie doesn’t blame him. 

“Sorry to call like that. I, um, I need a favor?”

“…ok?”

Eddie explains it all. He talks about the band, the song, the video idea. He talks for almost ten minutes and he just keeps going because he can hear Steve’s breathing on the line.

“So, that’s it. You can say no, no hard feelings but I… would like if you said yes”

It feels like a low blow, but Steve says yes and Eddie pushes the guilt away from his brain. He’ll get to see Steve soon. Less than a week. He can’t help the butterflies blooming on his stomach. 

He fucking missed Steve. 

•END OF PART 1•

[unwelcome-ozian]

By using very low frequency electromagnetic radiation -- the waves way below radio frequencies on the electromagnetic spectrum -- he [Eldon Byrd] found he could induce the brain to release behavior-regulating chemicals. "We could put animals into a stupor," he says by hitting them with these frequencies. "We got chick brains -- in vitro -- to dump 80 percent of the natural opioids in their brains,'"Byrd says. He even ran a small project that used magnetic fields to cause certain brain cells in rats to release histamine. In humans, this would cause instant flulike symptoms and produce nausea. "These fields were extremely weak. They were undetectable," says Byrd. "The effects were nonlethal and reversible. You could disable a person temporarily," Byrd hypothesizes. "It [would have been] like a stun gun." Byrd never tested any of his hardware in the field, and his program, scheduled for four years, apparently was closed down after two, he says. "The work was really outstanding," he grumbles. "We would have had a weapon in one year." Byrd says he was told his work would be unclassified, "unless it works." Because it worked, he suspects that the program "went black." Other scientists tell similar tales of research on electromagnetic radiation turning top secret once successful results were achieved. There are clues that such work is continuing. In 1995, the annual meeting of four-star U.S. Air Force generals -- called CORONA -- reviewed more than 1,000 potential projects. One was called "Put the Enemy to Sleep/Keep the Enemy From Sleeping." It called for exploring "acoustics," "microwaves," and "brain-wave manipulation" to alter sleep patterns. It was one of only three projects approved for initial investigation. --U.S. News article, by Douglas Pasternak-July 1997

[void-of-unparalleled-chaos]

Okay so time for me to dump my thoughts on the Underworld Saga because I am going insane and tbh I'm not sure how coherent this will be because my brain is mostly keyboard smashing.

The Shades: "When does a man become a monster? 558 men who died under your command. CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Why would you let the cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

Okay so the harmonies of the Shades are amazing! But also this whole bit is just so... haunting. The call back to Just a Man and Ruthlessness does something to me. Could you imagine being screamed at by the ghosts of everyone you've failed? Also Jay confirmed that the shades in this song are just repeating their final thoughts in life. They drowned begging for their Captain to help them and died wondering why he failed them. This probably fucked Odysseus UP.

Odysseus: "I keep thinking of the infant from that night. I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

I swear I can hear the PTSD in his voice holy shit. Also Astyanax's music box motif being played in church bells in the back. I never would have noticed it if not for Jay's behind the scenes videos but knowing it's there makes this bit so much better.

Odysseus: "Polities..."

I was not nearly as wrecked at this bit until I saw this post mentioning that Odysseus quiet little "Polities..." is a mirror of Polities strangled "Captain..." when he died and now I will never be the same.

Odysseus' Mom

I am not exaggerating when I say I cried during the watch party. Everything about this is heartbreaking. His mom was thinking about him in her final moments. "Odyssues when you come home I'll be waiting" except she wont be. The shocked defeat in Odysseus' voice with "I took too long...". He's right there in front of her, but her shade just doesn't register him. They are so close physically yet still separated by death. Also the fact that Jay's mom voices her that is so sweet omg.

The change from "Here in the Underworld the past seems close behind" to "But in the Underworld your past is always close behind."

STTAGKDUKFUTAATUFOUCOUXGJXG

THE STRINGS!!!!! AND THE PIANO!!!!

Tiresias' voice is so haunting omg

Mason absolutely NAILED prophet who is constantly being shown everything all the time at one I love it sm.

The lyrics in this song are just.... so good. And the foreshadowing is top notch

Jay's voice acting for Odysseus' is also great in this.

The distress and frustration in "We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells. Now you tell us ur efforts are for NOTHING?!" and the absolute anger in "WHO!?!?!" (Its you, Ody. See your about to go through a complete change in morals about 5 minutes from now and become a completely different person).

THE DESCENDING ORGAN FOR THE SECOND CHORUS MY JAW DROPPED

Jorge don't think I didn't notice the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hellfire, vibes at the end I see you.

This is my favorite song released in Epic so far and I am not normal about it at all.

The GUITAR! THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!

For those unfamiliar and being dragged along this nonsense post, Odysseues character is associated with the guitar. The acoustic guitar is when he is softer, kinder, and more "human" while the electric guitar represents him at his most brutal, ruthless, and "monsterous". This song is his turning point to which he is done being merciful. He will do ANYHTING to get home.

"Oh Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves..."

Really taking Poseidon's lesson to heart there.

Odysseus: "AND IF I GOTTA DROP ANOTHER INFANT FROM A WALL IN AN INSTANT SO WE ALL DON'T DIE? THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER! I WILL DEAL THE BLOW!... SO WHAT IF I'M THE MONSTER?"

Ayrsgstusigxjgsutaut holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Play this back to back with Just A Man for some psychic damage. What an end for Act 1!

[aberooski]

Fuck it.

Random Yugioh GX headcanon dump!

I've posted about some of these at various points in the past in more detail but yknow 😌

All in no particular order of course, just the order they pop put of my brain lol

Syrus is actually really smart, but school is hard for him because of anxiety

Alexis is the spitting image of her and Atticus's mom

Jesse's favorite song of all time is Our Song by Taylor Swift

They're all varying degrees of Swiftie

Crowler's favorite show is The Golden Girls

Jaden will accidentally burn down the kitchen if they let him try to cook anything

Syrus, Alexis, Atticus, and Zane all knew each other pre-series. Or at the very least knew of each other since Atticus and Zane were already friends.

Syrus is afraid of storms but actually really likes gentle rain

Bastion was always insecure about his skills and needed and craved validation and recognition from others

Chazz has a hard time expressing and understanding emotions and distinguishing different kinds of love and care because his family is so emotionally distant with each other

Chazz and Alexis are platonic soulmates he's just confused by the platonic part. They love each other but are not in love with each other.

On that note, when Chazz is able to finally move on from Alexis, they develope and almost brother/sister relationship

Alexis suffers from separation anxiety and paranoia after Atticus returns because she's so scared of him getting hurt or being taken away from her again

Jaden is so protective of his friends because he didn't have any as a kid after the whole Yubel debacle even though doesn't remember Yubel for a while so he desperately wants to keep the ones he has now at any cost and keep them from getting hurt because people have been hurt because of him Yubel in the past and doesn't want to go through that whole rigamarole again. Also because he just loves his friends, but that's a given.

Syrus has a scar from being bit by the duplicate Camula in episode 32

Chazz has scars from being abused by his brothers. Only Atticus has ever actually seen them.

Hassleberry has chronic pain because of his dinosaur leg that he hides so the others won't worry about him

The J-Squad never told Hassleberry about a lot of stuff that went down in season 1

Atticus is uncomfortable in the dark and has trouble sleeping when he returns so he sleeps with at least one light on every night

Atticus's positive and silly personality and quirks and eccentricities are all genuine and authentic, but they've also become a coping mechanism for his trauma after his return

Hassleberry is a massive Dolly Parton fan

Hassleberry's seen every movie Dolly is in. Steel Magnolias makes him cry every time.

Syrus doodles on stuff in class and like on his notes and homework and stuff. It's something he does to help him focus and think

Bastion actually really likes classic movie musicals. His favorite musical is My Fair Lady

Chazz says that he has a dog at home in the dub, but it's the family dog. He's more of a cat person.

Atticus, Chazz, and Alexis are a Sun, Moon, Star trio respectively.

Hassleberry and Chazz are the biggest hopless romantics, actually

Both Crowler and Alexis's favorite movie is Titanic

Atticus can play any and all stringed instruments. If it has strings, he can play it. But his best instrument is the guitar.

Atticus hosts weekly campfire jam sessions for the J-Squad down at the beach. He pulls out an acoustic and just plays songs for them to sing and have fun together

On that note, every single one of them can sing. All of those kids have vocals for days.

Chazz and Atticus have sleepovers dates every Saturday night where they get together and watch movies. Atticus usually picks and makes Chazz watch musicals and romcoms and chick flicks.

Chazz actually enjoys musicals, especially watching them with Atticus. Hence his quoting Bye Bye Birdie during his duel with Adrian.

Atticus's favorite movie is Singin' In The Rain

Atticus does a lot of dumb shit in attempts to impress Chazz or otherwise get his attention

Syrus takes more after his and Zane's mom, while Zane takes more after their dad. Hence her saying Sy's the one who got the looks 😌

Jaden doesn't even know what sexuality means let alone what his is. His sexuality is Jesse.

Jaden's mom is a pianist

Chazz's family is all sooo much older than his is. For example, his brothers are at minimum ten years older than he is.

The worst familial relationship Chazz has is with his brothers. He's his mom's favorite, and he just doesn't really have a relationship with his dad at all. Cold, distant rich old businessman dad y’know?

Chazz wasn't necessarily an accident, but I don't think they planned on having another kid so long after the first 2 either.

Chazz's brothers manipulate their parents' perception of them and their relationship with Chazz so they don't know how bad things actually are with the three of them

Jaden thinks it's really silly and fun that his and Chazz's birthdays are the bookends of the month of August since they're rivals and stuff

Chazz has naturally cold hands

One time after graduation the kids got Crowler a father's day gift kind of as a joke. But it made him so happy they get him a group gift every year. They got him a world's best dad mug

Everyone crashed the next year's graduation so they could see Hassleberry graduate number 1 in his class 🥺

That's all for now!

Part 2

[gods-biggest-mistake-tbh]

masterlist

hello and welcome to the constant hellscape that is my brain and its dump.

fics

Finders Keepers title idea from "Finders Keepers (Acoustic)" by You Me At Six

preview 1

preview 2

part 1 (not finished)

My Love, All Mine title idea from "My Love, Mine, All Mine" by Mitski

part 1 (not finished)

part 2 (not finished)

Heaven's Prettiest Angel

preview 1

part 1 (not finished)

imagines/oneshots

best friends with vox

ideas/prompts

I.M.P. reader

rants/"roasts"

please

THIS mf

quotes that make me asjdfkj

War Storm quote 1

House of Hades quote

updated as of 10/12/24

[themurphyzone]

PatB Headcanons: Halloween

Pinky goes all out decorating for Halloween. Pumpkins on the porch, lots and lots of candy, tissue paper ghosts, etc. In October when the ACME scientists are going to work, they find that the lab and the surrounding property has been completely covered with toilet paper. They think its some local kids doing the toilet papering and blame them for it. Nobody can figure out it was Pinky. Only Brain knows about it but he was irked that Pinky wasted the hoard of toilet paper he was planning to hold hostage in exchange for total control of the world.

2. Brain has a Twilight Zone marathon for Halloween. He's also fond of Frankenstein and Alfred Hitchcock movies. Pinky tends to fall asleep to it though. Pinky really likes Addams Family, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Scooby Doo. Neither of them handle slasher films particularly well. Pinky gets spooked more during the film and cuddles up to Brain, who hides his fear better but it will catch up to him in his sleep later.

3. Brain once transformed ACME Labs into a haunted house designed to show the masses the horrors of the current world and tell them how much better off they'd be under Brain's rule. Except the youth are super desensitized to it all cause it's nothing they haven't seen before...then Pinky starts singing Ring Around the Rosy somewhere and the acoustics distort his voice to make it sound all creepy. Brain is shocked when that turns out to be what terrified them the most.

4. After nearly losing Pinky to hell, Brain took anti-demon defensive measures around the lab...mostly stealing holy water from the local churches and dumping it around the lab. He will deny being superstitious though. But Pinky was happy to get all the garlic bread he could eat.

[everywishway]

More Fantasy High Headcanons (mostly Fig and the Sig Figs band because she's consumed my brain)

Gorthalax and Gorgug's bio dad mutually decide that they don't step on Fig and Gorgug's band and want their kids to do their own thing without them

So they sit them down and say, "hey, with Fabian joining, maybe you should find two other members your age because we have our own lives and you should do your own thing"

there are a lot of tears from Fig and Gorthalax but Gorthalax says he will still be around for comeback shows and special events

So they get two new members, one plays keyboard and one plays electric guitar. (Fabian joins too but is just a singer)

Fig teaches Fabian to play the acoustic guitar

Fig has written a song about driving really fucking fast down the highway in a hotrod in reference to Johny Spells that she only performs with Gorthalax

Speaking of which, she buys Johny's car from the dump and gets it fixed to be a fun way to take the Bad Kids to Bastion City for Summer Vacation

Gorgug writes music but it has similar vibes to Alec Benjamin and Cavetown

While Fig writes music like Paramore, Mother Mother, and the actual Significant Figures fan band for Fantasy High

They do mother's day and father's day shows and Mrs. Thistlespring has so much fun

This is also where Fig finds out that Sandra-Lynn almost multi-classed into bard and is fucking sick at screamo!

Fig calls her, Fabian and Riz stepsiblings. Fabian pretends to hate it but secretly loves it because he's always wanted siblings and Riz plays along and teases them

Fig and Fabian's birthdays are only a week apart from each other in the middle of July (or this world's equivalent) and starting after Sophomore year they celebrate the middle day between their birthdays as a shopping spree just them

If you like this stay tuned, I'm working on a post for how I think Aguefort Adventuring Academy actually works as a school

[cousticks]

Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.

This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.

I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!

Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.

I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.

More blog info below!

Content

This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.

Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:

the Halo universe

FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)

Portal games

Dishonored games

bad action movies in general

and more!

I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.

I don't post or reblog anything NSFW. This is 90% because I don't want to forget to tag something, 5% because I'm ace and don't really need that here, and 5% because I don't want to make this blog a place minors can't go.

Tagging

Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.

I give all characters their own individualized tags. I'm working on making them all short song lyrics. Please feel free to ask about any tags you see! Characters that haven't been given lyric tags yet are given the tag 'placeholder [character] tag.' If they're an au-specified character, such as from Beast, its specifically 'beast [Character] tag'. I have a handful of AU and/or concept emoji tags. If I ever see it relevant enough, I'll make a key for them.

Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.

Asks

I love getting asks. They can be actual questions on my thoughts, chain mail, insults, little gifts, whatever. I don't care. I love them and will treat them all with care. I have anon enabled and will always have it enabled. I'm also a big fan of ask games and have a ton of them tagged under #ask games. Those are all active all the time forever (though if its an older one you'd have to specify) I just like having things to talk about. Please talk to me.

This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.

[hagfishviperfish]

Weird ass dream. The kind that makes you nostalgic. I live in a small town, my high school was more closeknit than others — that is to say almost all of those kids were evil but i digress, everyone knew each other.

My dream initially was that I missed the busses after school. I called my mom and she was at work, so she could not pick me up until 6:00. Which meant I had to kill time until then. It gave me the opportunity to realize how lively my high school was after hours — kids congregating on the soccer fields, football field, track, parking lot, it was as if its own little fair. So strange to see people you know doing their little things. In my dream I saw the faces of people who I haven’t seen in a long time, nigh forgot about, people who I won’t see ever again. And the faces of people who look like the type of people to live in my town.

Most were playing sports; I discovered a law school campus that was apparently on the property of my school that I hadn’t known about; I met one of my friends and hung out with him for a bit, found a dude on Tinder that looked exactly like him and with the same name but was like visibly 22 and I was like lmaooo dude look at this.

There is an event where the high school band comes in, followed by the graduates of my class, they share what they’re majoring in in college, and a quarter of mean girls were studying graphic design and they hated it and I laughed at them. It was particularly nostalgic

There is a silly little rave party thrown a guy I knew, who was fairly popular. It’s in those net tents you see used for baseball practice. I go there and dance a little with my childhood friend who dated him in middle school.

I stumble across a boy I had little feelings for for years — from elementary school to senior year — he was standing in between chain link fences, in security guard armor but it was like football stuff, so I guessed that was his job here. He was enthusiastic to see me, which was much to my surprise since we hardly talked at all (in senior year he started interacting with me every so often, much to my surprise.)

The dream changes here. I am this sewer siren queen hunted by my high school, living several grotesque layers in the deepsea underground, and he is the one who is supposed to be hunting me the hardest. Except every action he makes is deliberately to divert my pursuers away from me in order to protect me. We are lovers in that way, the brief moments where he sees me to “kill” me, but rather it is a fond reunion where we look at each other with mischevious devotion and adoration and then he must leave, to not draw too much attention to me and our affiliation. Every hour and decision of his life is dedicated to making sure I stay alive. He stands proud over a toilet in the school bathroom with a deep, deep canal drilled into it, what the students call a “sewer portal”, knowing I used it to escape, announcing to his equals “she is not in this one; try another one.”

He climbs through my canals smiling, there are grotesque and strange strata underneath our school, pink wet stone, sandstone, marbled jade and stone, and the structure of the tunnel he recognizes as my digging, impressed that I managed to stomach such odd layers of soil

This story of a favorite siren and its best hunter is a reoccuring theme for the rest of the dream.

There are other notable moments, where my art teacher says I have an opportunity to spread my art, to become a genuine admired artist, because people have already expressed interest in my work for her class. I make sketches; one of them a pile of moldy rotten oranges, in which a rabid squirrel or fox is eating them out of wild desperation, and a healthy fox is walking in the foreground, observing its parallel

Another where I’m in walmart with a friend, at the side of another boy; saying “I’m like hahahaha I’m L from deathnote” for some reason, just to mess with him. He’s like yeah whatever, unamused, I show him a pretty collar necklace I found, knowing the implications, and he’s like perhaps, and he tightens it on my neck for me

Then I dig another hole and leave because I am a sewer siren now.

Flickers of standing in a deep sea realm, underground, occasionally visited by a certain playful divercaver… I pick what I want the fish version of my pets to look like, laugh at the way my cat looks when she floats down and turn to tell my mother only for her to yell at me because she’s stressed out and busy. Rain World shelter on our football bleachers, he swims to me to find Minecraft mods, but I am looking from his eyes this time, I notice him and pick my way over to him, and we enjoy our presence together eagerly, while he sips from the glass of this mod that implements strawberry juice in Minecraft— and it tastes wonderful.

Then he hides me in the shelter because there are centipedes — it is particularly deeper, with water, to compensate for me there, and comes along to be around me for the night

[cryptozoolliegy]

Hi this is someone from the containment department of A.S.S., and we've made a deal with the devil our prisoner, detalies about this Kirix you mentioned in exchange for an undefined period of silence. So we kindly request more information on this Kirix

-A.S.S. (Association of Sleep Schedules)

Please we need her to shut up, before the singing it was info-dumping about Marie Curie and 'fun facts' about the human body then random questions about human psychology and how does our mind/brain work then she stopped that when realised that the place is 'acoustic' and started singing please please please we need her to shut up

OOOOOO ALRIGHTY

So I'm writing a scene right now where two characters who are really in love (they don't know it yet) are somewhere in the middle of an EXTREMELY TRAUMATIC YEAR-LONG EVENT THAT HAPPENS

I guess the information that'll work should be a description of the scene itself...

So! Kirix is one of these people. Barlow is the other protagonist (they are equally protagonist, neither is more major) and uhhh at this point in the story Barlow is afraid of sleeping because they have constant debilitating nightmares and often wake up in the middle of torture chambers because it's easier for their captors to move them while they're unconscious- anyways! The point is the scene, so-

Barlow starts getting hallucinations from lack of sleep from not sleeping for 2 days straight. Kirix tells them they need to go tf to sleep, and manages to convince them to do so. They say they'll protect them so that no one takes them away for a torture session while they're asleep. Barlow gives in and goes to sleep. While they're sleeping, a guard comes to their cell and says "hey I'm taking the purple one today"

Kirix refuses to let this happen, so they manage to convince the guard to take them instead after a bunch of convincing.

So they're taken away for a session instead of their partner, and I'm not writing the torture part y e t but the thing that happens- basically, the main villain beats them up and casts illusions of The Horrors™ on them while telling them to "not manipulate people" due to some uh. Interesting views the villainess has

Like

"Worthless DEMONSPAWN. You can't try to make me release you. YOU'RE LYING! IT'S IN YOUR BLOOD. You can't make ANYONE think you really feel-"

You get the idea. Basically, punishing them for something they didn't do. And making them feel like they're less powerful than a piece of string coated in slime

When Kirix is bought back to their cell, they sit in the corner having an internal mental breakdown. It takes Barlow a while to wake up, but when they do, the beans are gonna have a VERY SWEET PLATONIC MOMENT because they're both still in denial about the whole romance thing :)

That's it for now! Tell Cami thanks for asking hehe

[rainydawgradioblog]

10 most underrated Joni Mitchell songs

Joni Mitchell’s surprise return to Spotify marks the first day of my life. Two grueling years of mp3 downloads, YouTube video playlists, and Apple Music temptations took quite the toll, but we’ve made it. To celebrate, here’s a list of 10 criminally underrated Joni bangers that deserve your streams. Now!

“Refuge of the Roads” (1976)

The ultimate highway soundtrack, “Refuge of the Roads” is an escapist hallucination with some of the sexiest bass you’ll ever hear. Joni’s on the run, hiding from the critics and her deep-seeded feelings of love that keep her from being the picture of independence she longed to be. The song details her miraculous recovery from cocaine addiction thanks to a Tibetan Buddhist master in Colorado and the insignificance of her emotional existence. It’s also one of her favorite songs she ever recorded!

“Judgment of the Moon and Stars (Ludwig’s Tune)” (1972)

A piano tribute to Beethoven, “Ludwig’s Tune” is Joni finding solace in another legendary musician’s experience of being misinterpreted. Just like Ludwig, her art was deemed “too raw” at a time where no one was trauma dumping like Joni was. The song is a peak in Joni’s orchestration skills, with glorious winds and vocal runs, plus some of her best poetry to match. 

���Talk to Me” (1977)

I never thought the same woman who sang “A Case Of You” would be literally chicken squawking on record, but we’re blessed to live in that reality. Joni’s sense of humor on “Talk To Me” is on full display, dodging punchy acoustic guitar and raging fretless bass, begging “Mr. Mystery” (presumably Bob Dylan) to talk to her. “You spend every sentence as if it was marked currency / Come and spend some on me” is lyrical brilliance, not to mention one of the most iconic opening lines, period.

“Harry’s House/Centerpiece” (1975)

Joni’s storytelling skills fly under the radar way too often, despite her pointed observations in “Harry’s House/Centerpiece” being one of the greatest critiques of gender roles in music. Her blend of jazz fusion and a jazz standard adds to the traditional versus modern views of gender roles she’s observing, and her top tier crooning sells it hard. Not to mention Harry Styles named a whole album after the song!

Borderline (1994)

Not many of Joni’s songs match the intensity of “Borderline,” with a drop dead gorgeous steel guitar/organ combo and insightful 50-year-old cynicism. I think of “Borderline” as her 90s version of “Both Sides Now”. She makes sure to remind us that no one really knows life at all, and pretending otherwise only builds the borderlines between us. A brutally honest queen!

“Love” (1982)

For someone who allegedly doesn’t know love at all, Joni seems very well-acquainted with it on this song. Her insightful takes are a lot to digest, but they’re paired with winding early-80s production that work seamlessly. Think Leonard Cohen-level poetry and Steely Dan-esque funk with just a touch of 80s cheesiness.  

“People’s Parties” (1974)

Even Joni has social anxiety, and “People’s Parties” is very that. Her descriptions of the posh social climbers and dramatics at the exclusive events she attends is strangely relatable to your average introvert, while also serving up a juicy critique of elitism in showbusiness. “People’s Parties” is some of her most charismatic musical phrasing, and her lower register in the outro scratches every itch in my brain. 

“The Dry Cleaner From Des Moines” (1979)

Charles Mingus pulled something so specific out of Joni that is not talked about enough. On “TDCFDM,” Joni’s practically playing the part of every instrument next to bumbling bass, skittering drums, floating saxophone, and razor-sharp horns, and sounding next-level doing it. If anything Joni’s made proves her supernatural abilities, it’s this song.

Conversation (1970)

“Conversation” is the original love triangle song, and Joni is feeling chaotic. She’s helplessly flirting back and forth with a guy who’s taken, bringing him apples and cheese and listening to him rant about his relationship issues. Sonically the song is the perfect encapsulation of obsessing over someone new, and her signature soprano is perfection as per usual. 

The Last Time I Saw Richard (1971)

Holding a candle to ballads like “A Case Of You” and “River” seems unthinkable, but Blue’s closer makes it look easy. Richard and Joni play two sides of a spectrum; Richard being chewed up and spit out by pain and heartbreak, while Joni is fighting for optimism amidst the emotional devastation we hear on Blue. Joni’s pissed and panicked that someone could give up on happiness, so she’s “gonna blow this damn candle out,” refusing to let life get the best of her. 

Here's my comprehensive guide to Joni in playlist form including influences, influencers, and more. Happy listening!

Mead Gill

[placegrenette]

Brain dump on the Almaty concert.

Set list (not necessarily in this order): Biz, Aperem Ai, Ah! Yah! Mah!, Kalay Karaisyn?, Señorita, Jurek, Ego, Su Asty, All I Need, Jur Mapelep, Lady, Kaytadan, Mooz, E.Yeah, Blue, Tartty, Ottegi, Why'm (acoustic version), Bari Biled, Abuse (I think?), Zulym, Oinamaqo, Aiyptama, and Men Emes. So pretty much everything from Gap save Dunie, plus the greatest hits. The big missing-in-action pieces were Darn and last year's songs (Suraqtar, Drift, Orik, Symbaim).

They may have reprised Aiyptama and Kaytadan a cappella as an encore, it was hard to tell where, exactly, the concert ended

also Bala cried during Kaytadan, in what is becoming a tradition

and after he cried Alem picked him up and threw him over his shoulder and then Ace spanked him, just in case you forgot this is an idol group in 2023

but otherwise they do not seem to have spent a lot of time talking. There must have been a brief break for a costume change but that was it as far as the onstage action flagging.

One of the stories suggested total attendance of 9,000, which seemed low to me, but then I found out that Almaty Arena seats only 12,000 for ice hockey. If that's the largest arena show they could get, that probably doesn't help our dudes make bank.

At some point an 8th-anniversary cake was brought onstage and Veronika and Zhadra were the ones bearing the cake, in what I thought was a genuinely nice symbolic point. (You can spin it as the wives being subordinate, but I prefer to read it as, Alem and ZaQ insisting to possibly unfriendly Eaglez that their wives deserve to be part of the greater Ninety One celebration.)

By that point all the staff was onstage and they appear, judging from the stories, to have thoroughly enjoyed themselves, good for them

With regard to concert presentation: I saw one story of "Blue" and thought, are we sure Ace isn't relying on background vocals? Then Bibotta posted a story closer to the stage where he was very clearly singing live, but the recorded vocals were playing loud enough that that's probably all you heard if you had one of the balcony seats.

But all in all they seem to have put on a good show, complete with golf carts, smoke guns, dramatic closeups, a cameo by a stuffed Minion, and sing-alongs.

And then... ? As usual my predictions were not quite right. We did indeed get Bala crying (and I'm pretty sure none of the other three were dry-eyed by the second run-through of "Kaytadan"), but in terms of clarification as to what happens now... it doesn't seem like it, and not just because of the translation issues. Ace apparently said from the stage, "We'll miss you." Azamat Demegen, who's been with them since the early Juz days, posted a story with the title "Fin," which could refer just to satisfaction at having completed all the requirements of staging a demanding performance, or... not. Ace just posted a story, at roughly 2 am local time, looking pleased and grateful to Eaglez and also like his contacts were not going to last five more minutes. The staff accounts in general do not sound like the reports of people worried they're about to lose their collective source of income. Apparently the guys did some press interviews immediately after the show, so we might get more information soon. Or, again, not.

tl;dr these guys are experienced pop stars who put on a good concert. I would like them to be able to continue to put on good concerts. I would even like, one day, to actually see one of these concerts. Will it ever happen? Who knows! I spent more time than I care to admit today refreshing Instagram, hoping for concrete information as to whether Ninety One is breaking up or merely admitting to needing a breather or precariously perched somewhere in between. If you have concrete information, please share. In the meantime we can all take comfort in knowing that somebody got to see "Ego" performed live.

[will-you-come-along]

So I had surgery for my brain tumour in November and haven't been back at work and I've discovered if I ever win lotto, I will never move from my couch.

But it is legitimately difficult to get back to work. So many hoops and approvals and graduated return to work plans. It's even harder to get income protection, hoo boy.

And the longer I'm off work, the less I wanna go back.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Partner and I are listening to Turandot over our eggs and bacon this fine Saturday morning, and my brain returned to its favourite headcanon of Eskel being able to sing. But instead of his usual husky, country singer-vibe, slap a set of Luciano Pavarotti pipes on that lad.

Let him be discovered by Jaskier when he and Geralt meet up with Eskel on the Path. It's been a year or so since they lost Vesemir, and they've been making an effort to see more of each other.

Eskel's vibrato fills some little woodland. Geralt has a stupid grin on his face, because this was the exact reason he wanted to track Eskel down. He won't sing in Kaer Morhen. Never has. But in the wilderness with no one for hundreds of miles but the birds? Eskel opens up.

Jaskier is absolutely stunned. He begs, and pleads, and grovels for more when Eskel stops abruptly upon seeing Geralt has a companion. Geralt is smug as fuck because he gets the double whammy of "I told you so" with Eskel and making Jaskier lose his shit. He sits back and basks while Jaskier gushes in words and phrases Eskel's never heard before.

By some kind of miracle, Jaskier eventually convinces Eskel to give a performance in Oxenfurt. The biggest issue? The most popular librettist in Oxenfurt, and thus the person that controls every music hall from there to Vizima, is Valdo-fucking-Marx. Eskel will have to give a private performance if he ever hopes of doing more than entertaining at the local docks.

Jaskier manages to get Marx to turn up by offering the opportunity to belittle Jaskier's lack of taste/talent/state of dress/face. Eskel steps up on stage and Marx rolls his eyes. He thinks this is going to be hilarious. Look at the absolute state of the creature--

And then Eskel starts. His voice fills the auditorium like it belongs there.

And Marx's mouth falls open, his eyes glistening, his fingers turning white as he grips the armrests.

Jaskier doesn't even try to hide his smirk.

Has Eskel had formal training? Where did he learn? Is this some kind of trick? A witch's spell? Has Jaskier drugged them all? Marx demands his answers and Jaskier gives them. Eskel is a rare marvel. One of a kind.

Marx demands Eskel for the opening night of his next performance. He'll pay anything. Anything.

Eskel's hesitant. It's not Witcher work. Not even close. But that amount of money would fix up Kaer Morhen's watchtower, and then some. So he agrees. He stays in Oxenfurt with Jaskier, attends all the rehearsals and the costuming. Every person involved goes through the same process of doubt and denigration before they hear Eskel for the first time.

Opening night rolls around. Eskel performs spectacularly well. Gossip is all abuzz at the interval and Jaskier receives several offers of patronage, but it's the closing aria that knocks the breath out of everyone. Eskel hits that tenor high C and the audience moves from stunned silence to standing ovation, drowning out the gods-be-damned orchestra.

Eskel does a circuit with Marx. His reputation explodes. Both as a novelty and a musician in his own right. The fact that he's scarred and broken adds the mystique; the whole "ugly duckling that can sing" rags to riches story. He doesn't really care, not like he's proud. When the circuit comes to an end, he heads home to the empty halls of Kaer Morhen as he does at the end of every year (despite saying he never would again, old habits, and probably some underlying shit he needs to work through).

He's never sung a single note there. Kaer Morhen isn't a place for music. It's a place of pain, memory, mourning and ghosts. Been even worse since... well, since Vesemir. But something takes hold of Eskel as he dumps his bags, brimming with fine shirts and beautifully made weapons, on the floor. He stares into the emptiness and pretends his fallen brothers are still there, with Vesemir sitting on the bench at the front, and he starts to sing.

As he hits that high C in the halls of Kaer Morhen, the acoustics of the cavernous grand hall carrying his voice higher, Eskel imagines the only standing ovation he ever cared about.