#accidental outing Tumblr posts

[unfinishedslurs]

aware of his bisexuality steve (steddie, buckingham)

“Is that a hickey?” Comes out of Steve’s mouth without permission. But there it is, bright purple and red against the slope of her neck. She’s been walking kind of funny this morning, too. He’d assumed her period came early, but… “Rob, did you—“

Eddie fumbles the coffee mug he was pulling down. Chrissy freezes, face turning white with fear. Robin whips around, face bright red, and slaps a hand over her neck. 

“Bathroom!” She yelps. “Bathroom now!”

“Wait,” Eddie says, setting the mug down with trembling hands. “It was me. Sorry, man.”

Steve stares at him, unimpressed. Why the fuck would he lie about—

He looks at Chrissy again, who takes a nervous step back, and it clicks. 

“Right,” he says, nodding quickly. “You. You gave Robin a hickey. Had totally awesome sex that she didn’t even tell me about.” He directs that last bit at Robin pointedly. He told her almost immediately when he lost his guy-ginity. Traitor. “Yep. Sure. Got it.”

Eddie blinks, confused. Robin buries her face in her hands. 

“Oh my god, calm down,” she groans. “That’s not going to work. Steve’s cool.”

“Cool?” Chrissy asks, still looking ready to bolt. 

“Super cool,” he assures her. “The coolest. So incredibly cool, even if my best friend didn’t even tell me when she lost her virginity.”

“Steve!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says. “But I am going to need details, Buckley. We can go over what worked, and what needs more oomph.”

“Oh my god, can we talk about this anywhere else,” Robin groans, at the same time Eddie asks, “What, so you can get off on it later?”

“What,” Steve says. 

“You think two girls are hot, is that it?” He’s got a sneer on his face now, but Steve’s more observant than Dustin gives him credit for. Even if he wasn’t, it’d be hard to miss how hard his hands are shaking, the nervous tilt to his mouth. 

“Ew.” Steve’s face screws up. “Dude, no. It’s Robin.”

“Hey, fuck you,” Robin breaks in, from where she’s started comforting Chrissy. “You thought I was hot for at least a summer.”

His mouth drops open in betrayal. “We agreed to never talk about that again!”

“Can’t help being sexy,” she coons. Chrissy giggles wetly. “You wanna get married, Harrington? Have my babies? Stay home and raise six little nuggets while I bring home the bread?”

“I hate you,” he informs her. “Hate you so much. We’ll have a nice, heterosexual wedding and share a sad, heterosexual kiss, and you’ll carry me over the threshold of our nice, heterosexual house, and we’ll have boring, heterosexual sex that gives us nice, heterosexual babies, because we are so heterosexual and happy in our suburburban house in our nice little heterosexual town.”

He’s honestly kind of proud of himself for saying heterosexual so many times. Usually he fumbles words with that many syllables, especially after that many times in a row. 

Chrissy is outright laughing, now, endearing little snorts making their way between giggles. Eddie is looking between them like they’re a puzzle he can’t piece together. Robin grins.

“I’ll cuck you with the secretary.”

“Not if I cuck you first. You’ll be away all day in that office of yours, and I need someone big and strong to carry all the new furniture I ordered.”

“I knew it! I knew Timmy wasn’t mine!”

“Oh, but I couldn’t help myself,” he swoons. “Mark was just so sweet, with his bulging biceps and hand flexes, all hot and sweaty from helping poor little me while you were away! You know I’m weak to curly hair and brown eyes, Rob, how’s a man supposed to resist?”

“Fag,” she says, not without affection. 

“Dyke,” he shoots back. 

“Cocksucker.”

“Carpet—“

“Okay,” Eddie breaks in, clapping his hands. He and Robin both startle, and so does Chrissy from where she’s been watching them like a particularly interesting tennis match. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Robin lost her virginity and didn’t even tell me,” Steve says immediately, like he’s tattling to the principal. 

“Steve doesn’t seem to understand the concept of waiting,” Robin retorts. 

“I told you when I had gay sex,” he whines, and Eddie chokes. “I hate you. See if I ever give you tips again.”

“Oh, is that what you meant?” Chrissy asks. “Please don’t stop. They were good tips.”

Robin flushes all the way down to her toes. 

“You like boys?” Eddie wheezes. 

“Oh,” Steve blinks. “Yeah? I thought you knew.”

“You thought I—how would I know?”

The fuck is that supposed to mean? Steve’s been flirting with him for months!

“Robin always says we can sense each other! You sensed her.”

“You told him?” Eddie’s mouth drops open, and Robin looks sheepish.

“She didn’t have to,” Steve snarks. “You’re flagging in Hawkins, man. Was I supposed to miss it?”

“You know what flagging is?”

“Again, in case you missed it, I fuck men.”

“Fuck,” Eddie mutters. “Fuck! Christ, I can’t believe this. You’re, like, the epitome of heterosexual. I spent half of high school having to hear about how much pussy you were getting. Why are you not straight?”

“Wow, Eddie,” he deadpans. “Are you saying just because I like men and woman, I’m not queer enough? That’s kind of homophobic of you, man.”

“Yeah, Eddie, wow,” Robin says. “I thought you were better than this.” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie says. “I feel like I need to lie down. My entire worldview just shattered.”

“I have a couch?” Chrissy offers shyly. “Or a bedroom, if you need a minute away.” Fuck, Steve kind of adores her. Especially since she’s apparently vicious n bed, if the five other hickies he counts just from Robin bending down a little to whisper in her ear are any indication. Good for her.  

“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Robin says, with a glint in her eye that means he’s either going to love or hate what comes next. “If it helps, Steve’s never fucked a man in his life.”

Eddie’s brow furrows, looking between the two of them. “So…you’re just making fun of me?”

He looks a little angry now, and Steve can’t make heads or tails of this conversation because, “What the hell, Rob, yes I have—“

“Oh, so suddenly you’re the one doing the fucking?”

“Stop making fun of me for taking it!”

Eddie lets out an honest to god moan that he immediately slaps his hand over his mouth to cover up. “Right,” he says fervently. “Okay. I need to lie down, like, for real.” 

They watch him stride down the hall, so fast he’s almost running, and slam the door closed behind him.

“I could totally top,” he mutters to Robin as something that sounds vaguely like muffled screaming echoes down the hall. “I top girls all the time. It’s not my fault prostates are a gift from God.”

“Uh, you top because all the girls you fuck are from small town Indiana. If one of them brought out the strap you’d drop to your knees so fast—“

“That’s—I like topping!”

“Your favorite position is cowgirl. Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“I will show Chrissy your baby pictures,” he hisses. Robin makes a face at him. Chrissy nods excitedly from where she’s still tucked under Robin’s arm. 

“Oh what’s that?” Robin practically shouts. “You like being pressed against walls and ravished? You want someone to tie you up and have their filthy way with you? Is that what you said, Steve?”

Another noise from the bedroom. He narrows his eyes at her. “What are you doing?”

“Helping,” she says sweetly. “You’re both hopeless.”

“I told you he’s shy!”

“Eddie?” Chrissy asks. “Shy?”

“Yeah, okay, I was confused too, but I figured it was the romance! He told me he hasn’t actually been in a relationship before, I assumed he was nervous to take that step.”

“Yeah, but dingus,” Robin says sweetly. “You’re missing a puzzle piece here. He thought you were straight. He thought he was flirting with his straight best friend he didn’t have a chance in hell with, and then he finds out that said best friend likes taking it up the ass and men with brown eyes.”

“Oh,” Steve says, realization dawning. “Oh, fuck. What if he doesn’t like me like that?”

Robin smacks the back of his head. “Why are you stupid?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Chrissy says. “Like, really don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not coming over tonight,” Robin says. “I’m gonna stay with Chrissy again. Er…if that’s okay?”

“That sounds amazing.” Chrissy beams, and Robin turns red again.

“Yeah, I’m going to stay with Chrissy again tonight. You are going to invite Eddie to stay the night when he gets done with his little crisis, and then we’re getting lunch at the diner tomorrow and you can tell me about it before our shift.”

“Right,” Steve says. “Right, I can do this. I’ve invited guys over before, how hard can it be? It’s just Eddie. But that was hotel rooms, not my house and my bedroom with my shitty wallpaper. And it’s Eddie. Fuck, what if I’m shit at it? Robin, what if I’m actually bad at sex and everyone who’s ever said I was good was lying because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Oh my god, I’m totally bad at sex.”

“Woah, dingus, slow down. I think we took the mind meld too far, you’re turning into me.”

“If it helps, I don’t think you’re bad at sex,” Chrissy says. Steve and Robin look at her, and she flushes. “Because of the tips! Not because—I’ve never slept with you, but some of my friends did, and I got three orgasms out of last night, so…”

“Oh thank God,” he breathes. “I was worried for a minute.” Then he raises an eyebrow at Robin, and holds out his hand for a high five. She slaps it, begrudgingly proud of herself, and then takes the hand to pull him into a headlock that’s honestly more of a hug than anything. 

“You’re fine,” she whispers in his ear. “You’re great at sex, as you keep telling me. What’s more, you’re funny, charming, handsome, brave, caring—“

“Aww, Robin, are you getting sappy on me?”

“Plus Eddie literally moaned in front of you when he found out you bottomed. I really don��t think there’s a way to fuck that up.”

Steve grins. “He did do that. I’m going to make so much fun of him later.”

“So,” Eddie says with a smirk, “men with brown eyes?”

“Hey man, don’t look at me. Blame Jonathan.”

Now Eddie looks stunned, mouth dropping open. “Byers?” He says, sounding betrayed. “You have a crush on Byers of all people?”

Steve feels offended on Jonathan’s behalf. “What’s that supposed to mean? Jonathan’s a good guy!”

“I guess.”

“What do you mean you guess? He’s sweet, passionate, good with kids, nice eyes. Can pack a punch. I mean, what’s not to like?”

“Uh, didn’t he steal your girlfriend?”

He waves that off. “That was, like, years ago, man. We’re cool now.”

“Right, okay,” Eddie mutters. “Well have fun with Byers, I guess.”

It clicks. “Oh,” he says. “Oooh. You’re jealous.”

Eddie splutters. “Jealous? I’m not—I don’t—you’re jealous!”

“Oh, am I?”

“Yes,” Eddie says resolutely, not looking at him. 

“Right,” Steve agrees. “Well, if I am jealous, maybe I should know that I got over Jonathan years ago, and have since moved on to brighter, hopefully more attainable pastures than my ex’s ex.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“A different man with brown eyes?” He suggests. “Who is also good with kids, and passionate, and…” he trails off, suddenly realizing all those times Robin made fun of him might not be based on nothing. “Oh my god, I have a type. Shit, I have to tell Robin she was right.”

“I figured that was a common occurrence.”

“Shut up. Where was I going with this? I had a point.”

“You were telling me how awesome I am?”

“Oh, suddenly it’s you we’re talking about?”

“I mean,” suddenly Eddie looks shy, and Steve can’t help but think even with the change in context he might have been right when he told Robin Eddie was nervous about being in a real, romantic relationship, “isn’t it?”

He feels himself smile, slow and wide and probably more revealing than he means it to be. “Yeah,” he says, in a tone he knows Robin would call soppy, “it is.”

[fandoms-in-law]

Trees Bend

Summary: Steve figures out he's bisexual and starts using a metaphor to counter people when they call him the straightest.

Author's note: I was in a Christian puppet group as a teen and in one of the sketches I had to practise puppetry to, the tree metaphor was used for a guy who wouldn't go to church if his pew was taken. After reading all the fics where spaghetti is used as a metaphor I thought the tree one fitted here too so I wrote it.

/\/\

It started with Robin, except it really didn't. Steve knew that she would listen, understand and believe him about the thoughts and feelings going through his brain. That was exactly what happened when he shared that he was fairly sure he had a crush on Eddie, that he'd probably had crushes he'd suppressed in the past.

She'd hugged him and asked if he wanted help working through it, or to just ramble about his crush. Between them they started to try and find out if there was a label for being attracted to both men and women. The discovery of bisexuality as a term took a long time to find for the pair of them, but a welcome find.

…

The actual start of it all was Dustin. The brat was somehow still convinced that Steve and Eddie didn't get along and needed to spend time around each other to do so.

Steve wasn't against the idea, actually he was going along with almost all of the kids ideas to get them talking and spending time together. He'd agreed to have Hellfire move to his house so Eddie could remain part of it and the rest of them could hang out at the same time even.

“I just don't get why you don't like Eddie.” Dustin began almost as soon as he was in the car for a lift to the arcade this time. “You and Robin have said you're trauma bonded often enough so why isn't that working here.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I do like Eddie, probably more than you want, and the fact you refuse to see that is getting annoying now.”

“Is it because he's gay? Is that why you don't like him?” Of course Dustin didn't listen to his words, but that wasn't why Steve abruptly pulled over.

After parking he twisted in his seat expression serious, “Did Eddie tell you that and did he give you permission to tell me that?”

“Why would he need to-” It was clear Dustin was floundering with his response.

“Is Eddie meeting you at the arcade?” Steve carried on, leaving explaining for a moment.

Dusting nodded slowly, and Steve turned to start the car again. “You are shutting up now. When we get there, you, Eddie and I are going to find somewhere quiet, or possibly just get straight back in the car and discuss just how badly you talking like that could go.”

For a few moments it looked like Dustin was going to argue but couldn't find the words, then he settled to staring at Steve and then back at him. It would have been a peaceful drive if he wasn't imagining a hundred reactions Eddie could have to being outed by Dustin and hoping he wouldn't be too upset by it.

Eddie was already outside the arcade when Steve got there, waiting with the other kids and clearly looking for them. The grin he had when coming to greet them dropped quickly at Steve's stern expression and Dustin's confused one. “Hey guys, took you a while.”

“Tell the other boys to go start playing. Dustin needs to apologise to you or have it explained to him why he needs to before we're going in.” Steve smiled but it was still tense, and he nodded towards the other kids, one hand going to Dustin's wrist when he tried to head out.

The words got Eddie yelling over his shoulder still trying to figure out what was happening and deciding to climb in the back of the Beamer when he realised how ready Dustin was to run off with his friends away from whatever had happened. “So that sounds ominous. What's up?”

“This shithead is still set that we don't like each other and was rambling trying to figure out why on the drive.” Steve gestured when Dustin remained silent for once.

“And he's gone insane. All I asked was if he doesn't like you because you're gay.” Dustin chose that point to exclaim, getting two frowns directed at him.

Steve nodded though. “That. That is not your place to share with anyone. Eddie has not told me that himself, and given you had no clue why I'd ask if he gave you permission to share it, he hasn't. You Do Not share anyone's sexuality with anybody else, unless they have given explicit permission to. I don't care that I'm safe. I don't care if you think you can tell who's safe and who's trustworthy. You do not share that information for other people.” He lectured, arms crossed to stop from pointing or getting in Dustin's face to emphasis.

“Geez Kid, I told that to Hellfire because Wheeler was being a shithead about some NPC's. For a bunch of little genius's if you're gonna out me for no reason I'll go hang with Jason to see how long I survive.” Eddie groaned. “Everything Steve just said. Don't out me to anyone, don't out anybody to anyone else unless they've told you to.”

“Another secret to keep? Why the fuck does everything need to be a secret?” Dustin tried to argue. “I want to talk with my friends about them sometimes.”

Steve levelled a glare at him. “And that should not include information that could easily get them killed. It's easy to not mention someone's sexuality. We do it every fucking day. You need to apologise for it and never do it again.”

“Sorry, I guess. I just thought it was why you two don't get along cause You suspected and are like the straightest of the straights.” Dustin grumbled, barely even turning to look at Eddie when he wanted to keep arguing the point.

Steve huffed a little but decided against openly saying anything about it. “Definitely not the non-existent reason Eddie and I don't get along. I like Eddie. He's my friend just like you are and deserves a better apology than that.”

“And seeing Mom Steve defensive for me does not qualify as that apology. It's just very flattering and I'm so grateful this was your response to Mr Thoughtless's words.” Eddie grinned, softening Steve's expression with how relaxed he was being over it.

Dustin looked between them, frowning before letting out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry alright. I didn't realise it was such a big thing to do. I won't do it again.”

Steve looked back at Eddie, waiting until he nodded, accepting the apology with a “Your PC will die if you do it again.”

“Let's go see Max destroy you all at video games then.” he agreed, unsurprised when Dustin was immediately out of the car and racing into the arcade.

“Thanks for doing that, Steve. I really wasn't sure if you'd accept me coming out.” Eddie lingered, speaking quietly so people passing didn't hear.

Steve just shrugged, locking his car and heading into the arcade, “Course man, I'd hate it if that happened to me.”

“Wait what?”

He smirked over his shoulder, glancing over the trees that lined the street. “I've decided to take a few lessons from the trees. I bet that one bends and waves when storms come in.” He stated before disappearing through the doors. It had been one of the things that he and Robin had tried using to describe who he's attracted to and he liked it more than spaghetti. Trees are strong and stood tall, even a toddler could break uncooked spaghetti into pieces.

…

It happened again during a Hellfire night a few weeks later and honestly Steve wasn't annoyed by it.

He'd been absently listening to the game, treating it like a story with actors except he could hear the thoughts of the people writing it. At the point they'd reached there had been a discussion going on about how to get information from a guard they'd yet to annoy and Gareth had suggested flirting with him.

“No, man, no. I get that you think you'll be able to get all the information that way but just look at him – he's... Actually Eddie other than in the kingdom's armour what does this guy look like?” Jeff had protested, making a few of them grin at his argument against Gareth's plan being interrupted to ask for description.

Eddie smirked, but sat up to begin narrating, “Currently the guard is watching you huddle away from him in bemusement, an eyebrow arched in curiosity over what you're doing. His hair is carefully styled away from his face with his helmet held under one arm. He's got piercing brown eyes and a clear tan on his face and hands.”

“You're making our strategising take time in the game, dude.” Mike groaned, “No fair.”

“Besides that makes my point. This guard sounds like if Harrington was a guard and couldn't have his fluffy hair. He's not going to go for your flirting Gareth.” Jeff insisted, turning along with most of the table when Steve snickered.

Steve just gestured out the window. “I'm like a tree out there. Pretty bendable if necessary and I choose what's necessary.”

“That makes no sense!” A few of the kids exclaimed but Gareth and Eddie both had considering looks on their faces.

A moment later Gareth's decision was made as he reached out for a die. “I want to flirt with the guard to ask if he knows whether the treasure we want is owned by the kingdom.”

“Roll charisma.” Eddie agreed, over the top of Jeff's repeated protests.

…

The final time Steve confused everyone with his tree metaphor was a film night and he didn't need to say it to be the one confusing them all.

He'd made a comment about Luke's boots and started a conversation or rather a debate among the kids over whether you could assume someone's sexuality based on what they wear. It was quite amusing to see, especially when Eddie decided to try fanning the flames with contradictory comments the kids could have known which were meant and which weren't if they'd only watched his expression. Some he grinned as he said them, others were said through a smirk one twitch away from becoming a grimace but all of them had someone arguing with them.

Nancy was the one to eventually get annoyed with the debate after it was around twenty minutes long. “Come on guys, you're slowly deciding that any guy wearing fancy clothes or who puts time into his looks must be gay and that entirely ignores the evidence that is Steve sitting right there, straighter than anyone.”

Robin, Steve and Eddie all snickered at that, even more so when Dustin piped up, “Can't say that Nancy. He'll compare himself to a tree again and refuse to explain more.”

“Now now, Dusty-bun, tree metaphors can be very enlightening if you only pay attention to how they're described.” Eddie leaned over putting on a voice as if he were disclosing sage advice.

“He just stays the trees are straight too but bendable in the weather. It's nonsense.” Mike protested.

Steve shrugged when Nancy and Jonathan turned to look at him. “So you are bendable? What are you subtly trying to say you are?” Jonathan asked, eyes narrowed as if already anticipating the answer.

“That I'm not as straight as you all keep insisting I am? I'm bisexual, attracted to both, and kind of getting bored of everyone calling me the straightest of the straights.” He explained easily, leaning back between Eddie and Robin on the sofa.

Most of them nodded then, before Dustin exclaimed, “But why trees? Seriously? So many other things could be used for that but you keep going on about trees? Are you a gardener without telling us?”

“One, why would I tell you about gardening if that was my hobby? You only ever want to talk about your game and I've had you try to give me a character type enough time that I don't need new ones considering any hobbies I might not have shared with you? Two, Trees are strong. They're so strong that we make houses, furniture, a whole host of things from them, and while everyone thinks they're completely still they move a heck of a lot, not just with the wind but in growth and with the seasons. Course I want to be a tree, I'm like the strength of the group trying to fight the battles head on so you guys can do something smart to actually defeat the monsters while they're distracted. It fits.” Steve rambled now, enjoying giving in more to the way he found easiest to identify as if uncertain how accepting people would be.

“Plus I really want to climb you like a tree. So it even works there.” Eddie quipped, getting groans from the kids but a curious smile from Steve.

Before Steve could reply Robin's hand was over his mouth. “Thanks for that image, Eddie, how about you put a pin in that to talk about when you and Steve are alone and not in front of the kids or me.”

Eddie grinned then, nodding, “Sounds good to me. When are we sneaking off together, Stevie?”

“We could now.” Steve offered, shifting to stand before Robin pulled him back down.

“After the film is over and we're heading home.” Nancy stated to pouts from both men.

When they disappeared under the guise of getting more snacks and drinks 10 minutes later she just sighed.

[sofiadragon]

Sneak peek of the next chapter of Magic and Bluejays

Harry needed the loo, so he slipped off to use it. He heard Parkinson call to him on the way and called over his shoulder that he only needed a moment. Oddly, there were no urinals, so he ducked into a stall. When he came out, Parkinson was standing by the sinks.

“Er… Hi,” Harry said, thoroughly confused as he went to wash his hands.

“How are you in here?” she asked, looking as confused as he felt.

“Isn’t this the boy’s loo?” Harry said.

“No. Girls dorms on the left, boys on the right,” she said. Olvo came in, looking just as confused as Harry and Parkinson were.

“Gryffindor is the other way ‘round, with the girls on the right and boys on the left,” Harry said slowly. Then, with feeling, “Fuck.”

“You’re a girl?” Olvo asked.

“No, just, maybe,” Harry sputtered, holding his hands out to the side as if reaching around would help him get a grip on his mental state. “This is not. I haven’t. I don’t even know! How does the castle know when I don’t know?”

“I don’t think many people noticed,” Olvo said.

“If one did the whole castle will know by noon.” Harry groaned, tipping his head back and holding in a scream. “Well, can’t hide in here. Might as well just come out!” The last two words had a bit of a hysterical edge to them. When he came back into the common room, Snape was there and Stems was handing out the timetables. Malfoy was nearby, looking at Harry in wide-eyed shock.

“Dare I ask?” Snape said.

“You didn’t tell me the boys dorms aren’t on the left down here,” Harry said.

“I assumed the portcullis would shut in your face, as usual.” At least the man’s stoic face had no hint of amusement at Harry’s slip-up.

“Hilarious. I’m going to try and pretend that didn’t happen and hide in my textbooks.”

“Best of luck with that,” Parkinson said from behind him.

“I’m taking that as sincere, and no take-backs,” Harry grumbled, digging in his bag to avoid looking anyone in the face as he rushed off to breakfast.

[linanord]

my beautiful wife Prev Tags is back. btw. she's in the meatball menu they put her in the meatballs.

[destielmemenews]

"Former One Direction singer Liam Payne died outside a hotel in the Argentine capital Buenos Aires, local media reported on Wednesday, saying the 31-year-old British musician was found dead after falling from the hotel's third floor.

Citing officials, leading local newspapers La Nacion and Clarin reported that police were called to the hotel in the capital's leafy Palermo neighborhood responding to an emergency call that cited "an aggressive man who could be under the effects of drugs and alcohol.""

source 1

source 2

source 3

[hemaris]

i found a baby picture of my cat please please look at him i'm begging you

[samgiddings]

@staff @support @engineering @music @books

Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???

[when-sanpape-arts]

some dunmeshi restaurant au doodles

[proxycrit]

Linktober day 11: rollin’ inn

After a day fighting a volcano, the heroic group stumble back to the inn to take a Long Rest. Unfortunately for Link, his sleep is interrupted by mournful ghosts partying it up in his brain.

(Mineru and rauru were the last of their kind ever since the already small insular zonai kingdom was decimated by a strange, flesh bending plague. A lone miner found the two children, and decided to take them in despite concerns of the curse.

He raised them. When they asked him to help fight the source of their blood family’s extinction, who was he to say no?)

More about this totk au! (It all started when zelda did not get teleported into the past, and then spiraled from there)

Patreon!

[noahkirschtein]

i hate that the phrase "netflix and chill" became code for sex cause wtf is my asexual ass meant to say if i just wanna chill and watch TV shows now ??

hey you wanna chill and watch netflix (NOT SEX) ?

[unfinishedslurs]

matchmaking gone wrong (steddie)

“So,” Murray says, smarmy little smirk in place. Steve kind of hates him. “How long have you two been dancing around each other?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Oh, come on, now,” he says. “Everyone can see it. Or, well, maybe they can’t, but I can. Small town boys, both fighting against the odds. Alternate dimensions bring people together in the strangest ways, don’t they?”

“Hey, now,” Steve objects, shooting a panicked glance next to him. Eddie hasn’t moved a muscle since Murray opened his big mouth. His pose reminds Steve of a frightened rabbit, frozen in the eye of a snake. 

“Hey, now,” Murray mimics. “Real eloquent, Steve.” He says Steve like he’s saying something else. If he’s not careful, Steve is going to punch his fucking teeth in.“I gotta say, when I met you, you managed to take me by surprise. I really thought you were gonna be different. Small town rich boy, right? Big house, no parents, thought I knew the type. But you’ve managed to turn it on its head, haven’t you? Still, you’re lonely. Must be nice, having all those kids in your house. Less empty with them around. And Eddie here, too. I bet it’s real nice with him around.”

“Dude,” Steve says, prickling. He doesn’t know what eloquent means, or what that has to do with anything, but he really does not like what this guy is putting down. What business does this washed up mess of a conspiracy theorist have digging into Steve’s personal life? He chances another look at Eddie, who has unfrozen in favor of straightening up and glaring at Murray. 

“What the fuck do you know?” he spits, vicious in the way he only ever is when he’s defending someone. Steve is touched, really. 

“I know a lot,” Murray says, smile growing ever wider. “Like that you sleep in his bed, even though there’s…what, three perfectly good guest rooms here?”

“Two,” Steve corrects automatically. “The other one is Max’s.” Unofficially, of course, but she sleeps here enough that everyone else knows she’s claimed it. Technically it’s one and a half, given that Dustin is slowly taking over the one next to hers, but Ms. Henderson is actually responsible so he only stays the night occasionally. Robin just sleeps in Steve’s bed with them.

He realizes his mistake when Murray’s smile grows even wider. “Two!” He exclaims. “Two guest bedrooms, and yet you sleep in his bed, wake up next to him, end up with his pillow lines on your face. I bet it’s nice, huh? To have him soothe your nightmares, to fall asleep knowing he’s there. We like Steve, indeed. How could a man possibly resist? Tell me, Eddie, is that handkerchief in your pocket just for show? I’d have thought masochism was more your style.”

“Hey!” Steve barks. Eddie jumps next to him, and Steve puts his hand over his unthinkingly. Murray’s eyes track the movement, but Steve speaks before he can open his mouth. 

“Not cool, man,” he says firmly. Eddie’s hand is trembling under his, and Steve thinks that Murray is lucky that he cares more about comforting Eddie than he does about punching the smug look off his fucking face. 

“What’s not cool?” Murray asks. “Telling you two to get your shit together, for the betterment of us all?”

“You barely fucking know us,” Steve snaps. “There’s no ‘betterment of us all,’ Jesus. You can’t just…you can’t…” he lowers his voice, like he can protect Eddie from hearing it if he tries hard enough. “You can’t just out people, man. You should fucking know better.”

Eddie’s frozen again. Steve doesn’t look at him, instead staring Murray down like a challenge. The man does lose steam with that, wilting like a weed in the heat. “Ah,” he says. “I…ah, hell, I thought you knew.”

“What I know doesn’t mean shit if he’s not the one who told me,” Steve says. Eddie makes a sound, slowly sliding his hand out from under Steve’s. Steve lets him, resisting the urge to grab it back. He knows Eddie won’t run away from him, even if he wants to. “And what if you’d been wrong about me being cool, huh? Seriously man, aren’t you supposed to be smart or something? Act like it.”

Murray opens his mouth again, but Eddie interjects. “As fascinating and eye opening as this has been,” he says, clapping his shaking hands together, “I need to be gone, like, before this conversation ever happened. I appreciate your attempt to get me into golden boy’s pants over here, really, but, uh, yeah. I think the whole being straight thing kind of puts a damper on that, don’t you?”

“You’re straight?” Steve blurts out, hurt and embarrassed all at once. Well, shit, there goes whatever Steve thought they were hurtling towards. And after Steve just confessed he thought Eddie was gay. Is that discrimination? He’s going to kill Robin, dammit, she’s the one who pointed out Eddie’s hanky in the first place. 

“What?” Eddie asks. “No, you are.”

“I am?”

“Yes!”

“Uh,” Steve says, extremely confused. Is Eddie coming out as straight for him? He’s pretty sure this is supposed to go, like, the opposite way. “Since when?”

“Since—“ Eddie’s mouth drops open. “I thought since always, Harrington, what the fuck?” 

“Me what the fuck?” Steve sputters. “You what the fuck! You thought I was straight?”

“Of course I did!” Eddie throws his hands up. “You’re, like, the epitome of straight jock!”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve says. “Because my painted nails and affinity for sucking cock scream heterosexual man.”

Affinity might be a stretch given that he’s only ever sucked one dick in his entire life, but hey, a little embellishment never hurts. He wasn’t awful at it. The painted nails weren’t actually his choice, either, thanks to El’s killer puppy eyes, but still. He’s been blatantly flirting with Eddie for months now. Would it kill him to notice?

Eddie doesn’t seem to have a response for this, mouth opening and closing without sound. 

“Well,” Murray says at last. Steve and Eddie both jump, having completely forgotten about him. “I guess you needed my help after all.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Steve says, rounding on him. “I don’t need your help for jack-fucking-shit, alright? I am a grown-ass man. I am not repressed, I am not in denial, and I am not thanking you for this. You messed up my plan!”

“Your plan?” Eddie asks. 

“Your plan,” Murray repeats, amused. 

“Yes, my plan,” he hisses. “You’re not smarter than everyone else just because you don’t like the government, asshole. None of us like the fucking government, we’re just not about to go off the rails and become total shut-ins about it. We fucking get it, you’re lonely and have no friends. We don’t need you to tell us our own business for us, okay? You want to talk about getting help? Go to a fucking AA meeting and leave us alone.”

The skin around Murray’s eyes tightens. Steve might feel bad, if it weren’t for the fact that he’d fucking outed Eddie. Mistake or not, it doesn’t matter that Steve already knew if Eddie wasn’t ready to fucking tell him. 

Eddie’s hand on his arm stops him from saying much worse. 

He doesn’t turn around, just stares Murray down like a warning. Murray looks back at him, seemingly unimpressed, but Steve can see shame in the line of his shoulders. There’s apology in his eyes when he breaks Steve’s gaze to glance at Eddie. 

He’s not a bad guy, Steve knows. Joyce tells them fondly about how he helped her and Hopper get their shit together. How they’d both be Russian chow ten times over if it wasn’t for him. Nancy, too, has some good things to say about the guy. He was the one who helped her get word out about Barb’s death. He helped her get with Jonathan too, even if that didn’t exactly work out. 

And it’s not like he blames Murray for Nancy cheating on him. She’s her own person, and makes her own decisions, even if they’re shitty, hurtful ones that he’s still not sure he’ll ever fully get over. 

Jonathan said it best, once. He’s weird, and nosy, and annoying, and I don’t really like him. But I think he really just wants to help, in any way he can. Plus he’s a really good cook. 

Steve breaks.

“Just get out of my house, man,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Joyce will be happy to host you for the night, they’ve got a spare room there. Tell her my house was too ‘rich kid’ for you, or something. But you’re not staying here anymore.”

Murray nods, accepting this at face value. He gets up from the table, pausing to snag the vodka. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” he offers, and disappears before either of them can reply. 

“So,” Eddie says, after a considerable length of silence. His voice shakes slightly. “That was, uh, enlightening.” 

He huffs a tired laugh. “That’s one word for it,” he says, finally turning to look Eddie in the eye. He’s shifty, eyes flitting around the room, hands playing out guitar chords against the counter. Steve takes one in hand. 

Eddie stills, finally looking at his face. Steve won’t force eye contact, but he needs to know Eddie’s focusing on him and not whatever shitty thoughts are flying across his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he offers quietly. “I didn’t know he’d try that shit with us, when I told Hopper he could stay here.”

Eddie resumes his finger chords. “It’s not your fault he’s an asshole.”

“I know,” he says. “Still, that wasn’t how I wanted this to go.”

“Go? ‘Go’ what? What’s going?”

Steve shuts his eyes. “Us. I wasn’t going to say anything yet. Not until after you told me you were…”

“Oh,” Eddie says quietly. “Right.”

“Yeah.”

“I can get out of your hair, man, if it makes you uncomfortable.” 

“What?” Steve‘s eyes fly open. “No! I’m not kicking you out, what the fuck?”

“You’re not?”

“Literally what part of that conversation made you think that’s where this was headed?” He demands. 

“I dunno, man,” Eddie confesses. “Good things don’t really happen to people like me.”

“And I’m a good thing?” Steve tries to joke, raising an eyebrow. 

Eddie doesn’t take the bait, just briefly meets Steve’s eyes and lowers his voice. “Steve, you’re, uh. You’re kind of one of the best things to ever happen to me.”

“Oh,” falls weakly from his lips. 

“Shit, was that too much? That was totally too much, sorry, I’m not good at this. You can totally kick me out now, fuck, that’s so embarrassing—“

Steve kisses him. 

“Honestly, I’m not that worried about it,” Eddie says, laying with his feet on Steve’s pillow and head hanging off the bed. 

“Really?”

“I mean, like, it was a dick thing to do, but what’s he gonna do? Tell the whole town? They all know about me anyway.”

Steve kind of shrugs at this, because as much as he wishes it weren’t true he’s right. He’s walked past fag sharpied on Eddie’s locker enough times to know that unlike Steve, he never really had the luxury of hiding it. 

“People always just knew,” he tells Steve. “Don’t know how, don't know why. I’m not sure I‘ve ever actually come out to anyone except Wayne, and that was more of a bitter, self-loathing explosion than anything. It backfired, obviously. Instead of kicking me out, he told me he loved me and I cried so hard I threw up. Totally embarrassing. But even with Wayne…I didn’t have to. It’s like it was tattooed on my forehead, or something. Too soft, too close with other boys, too obvious. So I leaned into it. Learned to fight, ‘cause getting beat up might end in something worse. Let my freak flag fly, let ‘em focus on the DND and the devil worshiping because somehow that was better than being queer.”

Steve, who’d also known about Eddie long before Eddie had told him, bites his tongue. 

“I think he’s safe,” Eddie finishes with a nod. “He really did seem like he wouldn’t have said anything, if he’d known I hadn’t told you. Which is hilarious to me, by the way, because I’d just kind of assumed I didn’t have to so you might have just waited forever. Plus I think he and Hopper have, like, a vibe.”

Steve chokes. “A vibe?”

“They’re not fucking,” he clarifies, “but they have fucked, yanno?”

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

“Nah, man. I bet that’s why Hopper asked us to host him, instead of offering up his spare room immediately. Your ex and your new squeeze living together?” He whistles lowly. “Awkward.” “I don’t want to know this,” Steve declares, flipping face first into his pillow. He pushes Eddie’s stinky feet away from his face, ignoring his squawk. “Why would you give me information? Now I have to look Hopper in the eye knowing that his taste in men is Murray.”

[miss-americanbi]

was chatting with my brother about gravity falls (again) and i said something like “man, can you believe stan waited and worked for 30 years just for the chance to try and bring his brother back?” to which my brother responded, “yeah, it’s nuts when you think about it. i wonder if stan got trapped in the multiverse instead, if ford would do the same.” HELLO???

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

Look i dunno. SHES ORANGE AND SHE KINDA WEIRD LOOKING!!! I like her.

BUT i just really like her design a lot, kinda wish she was 2d animated though but i say that to everything

[meltedmush]

The noodles scene from the airplane extras!

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping