#abusive advisor
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Google is (still) losing the spam wars to zombie news-brands
I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT (May 3) in CALGARY, then TOMORROW (May 4) in VANCOUVER, then onto Tartu, Estonia, and beyond!
Even Google admits – grudgingly – that it is losing the spam wars. The explosive proliferation of botshit has supercharged the sleazy "search engine optimization" business, such that results to common queries are 50% Google ads to spam sites, and 50% links to spam sites that tricked Google into a high rank (without paying for an ad):
https://developers.google.com/search/blog/2024/03/core-update-spam-policies#site-reputation
It's nice that Google has finally stopped gaslighting the rest of us with claims that its search was still the same bedrock utility that so many of us relied upon as a key piece of internet infrastructure. This not only feels wildly wrong, it is empirically, provably false:
https://downloads.webis.de/publications/papers/bevendorff_2024a.pdf
Not only that, but we know why Google search sucks. Memos released as part of the DOJ's antitrust case against Google reveal that the company deliberately chose to worsen search quality to increase the number of queries you'd have to make (and the number of ads you'd have to see) to find a decent result:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan
Google's antitrust case turns on the idea that the company bought its way to dominance, spending the some of the billions it extracted from advertisers and publishers to buy the default position on every platform, so that no one ever tried another search engine, which meant that no one would invest in another search engine, either.
Google's tacit defense is that its monopoly billions only incidentally fund these kind of anticompetitive deals. Mostly, Google says, it uses its billions to build the greatest search engine, ad platform, mobile OS, etc that the public could dream of. Only a company as big as Google (says Google) can afford to fund the R&D and security to keep its platform useful for the rest of us.
That's the "monopolistic bargain" – let the monopolist become a dictator, and they will be a benevolent dictator. Shriven of "wasteful competition," the monopolist can split their profits with the public by funding public goods and the public interest.
Google has clearly reneged on that bargain. A company experiencing the dramatic security failures and declining quality should be pouring everything it has to righting the ship. Instead, Google repeatedly blew tens of billions of dollars on stock buybacks while doing mass layoffs:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task
Those layoffs have now reached the company's "core" teams, even as its core services continue to decay:
https://qz.com/google-is-laying-off-hundreds-as-it-moves-core-jobs-abr-1851449528
(Google's antitrust trial was shrouded in secrecy, thanks to the judge's deference to the company's insistence on confidentiality. The case is moving along though, and warrants your continued attention:)
https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/the-2-trillion-secret-trial-against
Google wormed its way into so many corners of our lives that its enshittification keeps erupting in odd places, like ordering takeout food:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
Back in February, Housefresh – a rigorous review site for home air purifiers – published a viral, damning account of how Google had allowed itself to be overrun by spammers who purport to provide reviews of air purifiers, but who do little to no testing and often employ AI chatbots to write automated garbage:
https://housefresh.com/david-vs-digital-goliaths/
In the months since, Housefresh's Gisele Navarro has continued to fight for the survival of her high-quality air purifier review site, and has received many tips from insiders at the spam-farms and Google, all of which she recounts in a followup essay:
https://housefresh.com/how-google-decimated-housefresh/
One of the worst offenders in spam wars is Dotdash Meredith, a content-farm that "publishes" multiple websites that recycle parts of each others' content in order to climb to the top search slots for lucrative product review spots, which can be monetized via affiliate links.
A Dotdash Meredith insider told Navarro that the company uses a tactic called "keyword swarming" to push high-quality independent sites off the top of Google and replace them with its own garbage reviews. When Dotdash Meredith finds an independent site that occupies the top results for a lucrative Google result, they "swarm a smaller site’s foothold on one or two articles by essentially publishing 10 articles [on the topic] and beefing up [Dotdash Meredith sites’] authority."
Dotdash Meredith has keyword swarmed a large number of topics. from air purifiers to slow cookers to posture correctors for back-pain:
https://housefresh.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/keyword-swarming-dotdash.jpg
The company isn't shy about this. Its own shareholder communications boast about it. What's more, it has competition.
Take Forbes, an actual news-site, which has a whole shadow-empire of web-pages reviewing products for puppies, dogs, kittens and cats, all of which link to high affiliate-fee-generating pet insurance products. These reviews are not good, but they are treasured by Google's algorithm, which views them as a part of Forbes's legitimate news-publishing operation and lets them draft on Forbes's authority.
This side-hustle for Forbes comes at a cost for the rest of us, though. The reviewers who actually put in the hard work to figure out which pet products are worth your money (and which ones are bad, defective or dangerous) are crowded off the front page of Google and eventually disappear, leaving behind nothing but semi-automated SEO garbage from Forbes:
https://twitter.com/ichbinGisele/status/1642481590524583936
There's a name for this: "site reputation abuse." That's when a site perverts its current – or past – practice of publishing high-quality materials to trick Google into giving the site a high ranking. Think of how Deadspin's private equity grifter owners turned it into a site full of casino affiliate spam:
https://www.404media.co/who-owns-deadspin-now-lineup-publishing/
The same thing happened to the venerable Money magazine:
https://moneygroup.pr/
Money is one of the many sites whose air purifier reviews Google gives preference to, despite the fact that they do no testing. According to Google, Money is also a reliable source of information on reprogramming your garage-door opener, buying a paint-sprayer, etc:
https://money.com/best-paint-sprayer/
All of this is made ten million times worse by AI, which can spray out superficially plausible botshit in superhuman quantities, letting spammers produce thousands of variations on their shitty reviews, flooding the zone with bullshit in classic Steve Bannon style:
https://escapecollective.com/commerce-content-is-breaking-product-reviews/
As Gizmodo, Sports Illustrated and USA Today have learned the hard way, AI can't write factual news pieces. But it can pump out bullshit written for the express purpose of drafting on the good work human journalists have done and tricking Google – the search engine 90% of us rely on – into upranking bullshit at the expense of high-quality information.
A variety of AI service bureaux have popped up to provide AI botshit as a service to news brands. While Navarro doesn't say so, I'm willing to bet that for news bosses, outsourcing your botshit scams to a third party is considered an excellent way of avoiding your journalists' wrath. The biggest botshit-as-a-service company is ASR Group (which also uses the alias Advon Commerce).
Advon claims that its botshit is, in fact, written by humans. But Advon's employees' Linkedin profiles tell a different story, boasting of their mastery of AI tools in the industrial-scale production of botshit:
https://housefresh.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Advon-AI-LinkedIn.jpg
Now, none of this is particularly sophisticated. It doesn't take much discernment to spot when a site is engaged in "site reputation abuse." Presumably, the 12,000 googlers the company fired last year could have been employed to check the top review keyword results manually every couple of days and permaban any site caught cheating this way.
Instead, Google is has announced a change in policy: starting May 5, the company will downrank any site caught engaged in site reputation abuse. However, the company takes a very narrow view of site reputation abuse, limiting punishments to sites that employ third parties to generate or uprank their botshit. Companies that produce their botshit in-house are seemingly not covered by this policy.
As Navarro writes, some sites – like Forbes – have prepared for May 5 by blocking their botshit sections from Google's crawler. This can't be their permanent strategy, though – either they'll have to kill the section or bring it in-house to comply with Google's rules. Bringing things in house isn't that hard: US News and World Report is advertising for an SEO editor who will publish 70-80 posts per month, doubtless each one a masterpiece of high-quality, carefully researched material of great value to Google's users:
https://twitter.com/dannyashton/status/1777408051357585425
As Navarro points out, Google is palpably reluctant to target the largest, best-funded spammers. Its March 2024 update kicked many garbage AI sites out of the index – but only small bottom-feeders, not large, once-respected publications that have been colonized by private equity spam-farmers.
All of this comes at a price, and it's only incidentally paid by legitimate sites like Housefresh. The real price is borne by all of us, who are funneled by the 90%-market-share search engine into "review" sites that push low quality, high-price products. Housefresh's top budget air purifier costs $79. That's hundreds of dollars cheaper than the "budget" pick at other sites, who largely perform no original research.
Google search has a problem. AI botshit is dominating Google's search results, and it's not just in product reviews. Searches for infrastructure code samples are dominated by botshit code generated by Pulumi AI, whose chatbot hallucinates nonexistence AWS features:
https://www.theregister.com/2024/05/01/pulumi_ai_pollution_of_search/
This is hugely consequential: when these "hallucinations" slip through into production code, they create huge vulnerabilities for widespread malicious exploitation:
https://www.theregister.com/2024/03/28/ai_bots_hallucinate_software_packages/
We've put all our eggs in Google's basket, and Google's dropped the basket – but it doesn't matter because they can spend $20b/year bribing Apple to make sure no one ever tries a rival search engine on Ios or Safari:
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/google-payments-apple-reached-20-220947331.html
Google's response – laying off core developers, outsourcing to low-waged territories with weak labor protections and spending billions on stock buybacks – presents a picture of a company that is too big to care:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi
Google promised us a quid-pro-quo: let them be the single, authoritative portal ("organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful"), and they will earn that spot by being the best search there is:
https://www.ft.com/content/b9eb3180-2a6e-41eb-91fe-2ab5942d4150
But – like the spammers at the top of its search result pages – Google didn't earn its spot at the center of our digital lives.
It cheated.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/03/keyword-swarming/#site-reputation-abuse
Image: freezelight (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Spam_wall_-_Flickr_-_freezelight.jpg
CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#google#monopoly#housefresh#content mills#sponcon#seo#dotdash meredith#keyword swarming#iac#forbes#forbes advisor#deadspin#money magazine#ad practicioners llc#asr group holdings#sports illustrated#advon#site reputation abuse#the algorithm tm#core update#kagi#ai#botshit
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do you ever think about how Brennan goes to conferences and Michael Stires is absolutely at them? How he intentionally has tried to discredit her professionally? How he probably has a pattern of preying on his students, and she sees them with him, somehow the grad students looking younger and younger each year?
I like to think she poaches his students any time she can. And that at some point she breaks his bones. And reaches a point in her career where she can safely, publicly denounce him.
fuck that guy for real
I always figured this is why she and Booth keep their relationship secret as long as they possibly can. One can only imagine things people said about Brennan when she was involved with Stires: sleeping her way to the top, riding his coattails, trading sexual favors for publication. No matter how amazing she was as an individual, people (her peers and seniors) made horrible assumptions. The last thing she would want now was a repeat of that nightmare, no matter how secure she felt professionally. So she and Booth sneak around for as long as they possibly can.
#AMA being a grad student with an abusive advisor#it’s super fun#temperance brennan#bones tv#Booth is torn between wanting to beat the shit out of him and wanting Brennan to have the satisfaction of doing it herself#I love my wife I support her right to violence#he is less satisfied by Stires being disgraced out of a job even if it makes Brennan satisfied
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My sentences will either be a single line or the longest run-on sentence known to man. There is no in between.
#I was like this in academia too dw#my college advisor once referred to me lovingly as a comma abuser
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i keep thinking about ailun and his arc of unlearning everything his father had taught him because the abuse he went through had affected him to a point that he harbors both negative and positive emotions towards him, but there is also a lot to unlearn behavior wise. there is an internalized messages about weakness, shame and expectations that his father gave him. it taught him that affection or validation is only given conditionally or that love must be earned by enduring pain or mistreatment. these ingrained beliefs made it incredibly difficult to trust, to be vulnerable or even to feel deserving of kindness and respect in any of his relationships, both personal and political. there was also the challenge of detangling identity from what’s been taught. for ailun, a father’s role is pivotal in shaping his self - image and confidence, but in the context of his abuse, their relationship distorted self - understanding. he struggled to find his own identities, especially since he's been told (implicitly AND explicitly) that he's not enough and that he should be a certain way. this struggle was only intensified when unlearning as it required him to let go of the need for approval that has been deeply embedded since childhood. it's such a long process but !!!!
#esp when you think about it in a world where toxic masculinity is actually viewed positively to some extent#and how ppl benefit from it#ailun could have very easily remained the same as he was#and kept taking and taking#but he wouldnt have lived the life he actually wanted if he remained as he was#especially since he wouldnt have taken the step to remove the advisors that were taking advantage of him if he stayed the same#YEAHHHHH i'm thinking#he's simply so dear to me#i think there is something so so interesting about unlearning things you were taught that will only make your life even harder#not just for yourself but for other ppl as well#especially since he had the hope to meet his sister again and when he did#he didnt want to be a walking image of his father#abuse tw /#yeah <3 just to be safe#i rly need to write up the bios i'm just talking to the void
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My beautiful beloved,,, Words are not enough for how deeply I adore him. I wish that I could protect him 🥺🥺
#i read someones theory about him on Red.dit and it hurt my heart but YEAH i genuinely believe it to be true.#in any case it's canon within my selfship.#that he was a good advisor to Theo.den once and had genuine feelings for Eo.wyn.#that he looked different so he was treated differently. had an inferiority complex that Saru.man exploited#maybe used magic to amplify Grima's suffering so he was more easily manipulated.#that is why Theo.den is so quick to offer him a chance at redemption in the last movie.#because he WAS a man of Ro.han. a good man#a man with good in his heart who was abused.#and when freedom is offered to him... h#his abuser manipulates the way others see him by telling of crimes that were comitted under the abuser's own order.#god ok. I'm getting emotional again.#listen. i know it isnt that deep. i know that of we just go by the movies. Grima isnt that great of a dude.#but i want more of him. i want to know *why*. how he got there. what his motives were.#i want..... to give him a chance.#because i think. given the chance. he would do good. I genuinely believe it.#and i would go before Theo.den myself and put my life on the line to petition him to let Grima back.#rain rambles#slithering sycophant
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i give simon a lot of shit for his uselessness but honestly having to protect delta from that kind of abuse was never his job in the first place it was not what he signed up for at all. but simultaneously it is his job to represent delta since he is obviously not able or permitted to do it himself. like he knew damn well that nobody else was looking out for him and he still failed to act. >:(
when i think about how lonely delta must have been on that ship it makes me so so sad. i had a hard time getting into rubies at first because its hard for me to write comfort but i feel like i seriously have to make up the lost time to him.
#the way paris physically abused delta is bad even by imperial standards like enough to set off alarm bells w his advisors#scene im thinking of is when paris beat the fuck out of delta publicly and simon watched and didnt do anything#until some random ass admiral stepped in first#like a total stranger to delta who had no obligation to him but could still see that it was going too far#also the way paris had to be like. physically picked up and dragged away. oh my god that boy is unwell.
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@infernalpursuit inquired: how does your muse react when they're scared? does it change, depending on what is currenly scaring them?
(( Oh, absolutely it depends on what's currently scaring her!
The thing you have to understand about Miranda is that she's less of a person, in the sense that her personality and reactions are organic and naturally occurring, and moreso that she's someone who has been so intensely groomed and micro-managed and pushed in such a specific direction that a lot of the way that she is is entirely on purpose.
Her personality isn't really a natural product of her birth nor her circumstance in the same way someone else's personality might be. It's more like... There's no way that people can go through something like what she had gone through and not turn out in a very similar way to her. It's a designed process in this way, something that very intentionally obliterates any other chance to be anything else, and makes becoming this highly specific mold of a person into a life-or-death matter, something that you can't will or whim or nature your way out of. Miranda is the way that she is because she's been intentionally ground down and shredded into the person that she is. She doesn't really have a concrete sense of self. She doesn't even really know who she is. She's not supposed to, she's just supposed to be a means to serve a singular purpose and a singular end, and all she even can comprehend doing is that purpose.
Fear is a major part of this process, this total obliteration of any other mere possibility, but I also feel like it's a little disingenuous to call it fear in the same way most people would relate to it. It's the kind of fear that's so big and bone-deep and constant that it stops really feeling like fear at all, the kind of thing that Miranda herself has a very hard time of realizing that she's feeling even when it's particularly bad.
It might be more accurate to call it getting locked into a constant state of flight-or-fight. It's a constant existential threat where Miranda is sincerely and totally convinced that she could die at any moment and anyone could hurt her as much as they wanted, constantly living solely in the very present and unable to think of what even a short distance ahead in time would be like, because she just never feels comfortable or secure enough to stop thinking of the right now. She's what happens when the fear has been intensified strongly enough that it never dips below what would be debilitating for anyone else, and thus has become wildly detached to her own body, physical harm to her body, threats to her own life, or any escalation of fear.
This is, in fact, one of the things that I worry about disappointing roleplay partners with at times! Because their muse will act scary or try to frighten Miranda, and it just doesn't work. She just doesn't respond to the situation in a measurably different way than how she normally does, because she's under so much constant stress and strain and terror that it's not really any different to her than how everything else already is.
The only real times when she starts to show it, in fact, are places where her aversion and fear of them have been specifically cultivated. Miranda is a tool, and a tool doesn't break under expected strain, but you do have to be able to sharpen it and make sure it remains useful. You do have to take it apart to do maintenance on it, make sure it's working. The points where Miranda starts to actually, sincerely, show her genuine fear and terror, are during these points and in these situations where her aversion of them can be used to punish her and make sure she's being redirected in the proper direction.
In which case, Miranda's fear response is also highly specific and the only real option that other people who have gone through it come out with.
Mostly, she freezes up. She starts fawning hard. She lets it happen, over and over and over again until the object of her fear goes away, because it's going to be easier if she doesn't fight back or resist. She starts disassociating, disconnecting from her body and her thoughts, forgetting where she is or what's happening to her, because then she doesn't have to be present to register it and the memories are easier to repress later. She starts to people-please, trying to make the object of her fear happy and content them, because doing what they tell her to do and making them happy makes it not last as long. If she just does what they want her to, then they won't hurt her as much. If she just listens when she's told, then she won't get punished as much.
The end result is that she's very... robotic, in a sense. She does what she is told, to the letter. She will do what she is told, and she will not fuss or cry or cause any further problems if it also hurts her as well. She will be good, because the only choice other than being good is total obliteration. They should tell her what to do. They should make her do what they want her to do. It's okay that she's not there, or it's hurting her. It's even better if that happens, in fact, because then it's not as bad. She will not mention it after the fact, she will not hold it against them, she will not upset them again. She will be good. She was designed to be good.
Which, again, is part of why Miranda's fear response can be so inappropriate sometimes... Because she's been cultivated this way, because other people punishing her is so ingrained into her mind as a fundamental way of being, very often she will pick the seemingly much scarier or painful option over that cultivated social fear. She will happily hurt herself for someone else, and she will not be afraid of it, or be very upset at all. She will happily do many frightening things and deal with things that anyone else wouldn't be able to, because she's already locked into a permanent state of terror, and the only exception would be what happens if she doesn't do this. She's a tool. The only thing a tool has to fear is not fulfilling its purpose.
It's why she keeps doing increasingly dangerous things, too, seemingly without regard to her own life or death. Fear is an adaptation which allowed living things to avoid situations and things that were dangerous to them. Because Miranda's fear is constant and always at its peak, she doesn't register minor fluctuations to it, nor does she have it to try and get her to avoid things that might or will hurt her. It's also why her pain response is so bizarre and detached, and doesn't take very many efforts to avoid pain in general.
It also means, too, is that the potential for other people accidentally setting off or triggering this particular type of cultivated fear is very high, basically intentionally so. She has to be easy to control and redirect as needed, after all. If someone else gets close to her, gets her in an intimate situation similar to how she was cultivated to respond to punishment, then she can very easily get locked into a loop that they didn't know they were setting off. She's not in the state of mind to notice contradictions or try and correct herself, let alone notice if something is wrong, so nothing she can do can stop this from happening beyond general discouragement from those situations.
It just also means that it can be rather upsetting for other people when they notice that Miranda's immediate fear response, in wholly out-of-proportion situations, is to just sit there and take it without protest, even to the point of seemingly not reacting to someone nearly killing her if they do it in the right way.
#Most secret royal advisor || OOC#Dreaded rumors || Asks#infernalpursuit#self harm#abuse#physical abuse#disassociation#(( JUST. REAL ROUGH.#(( but yeah its basically just like#(( shes been so groomed to only be afraid of highly specific things relevant to the merkingdoms goals#(( that she just doesnt respond to anything else#(( as its not any different from the background level of Constant Terror she feels at the rest of the world#(( its the difference between miranda being so confident that all of these people absolutely cannot kill her#(( and her absolutely needing someone who shes close to to be able to kill her#(( because. its tied to emotional closeness and vulnerability#(( she was already told and encouraged to think the entire world wants to kill her and hurt her#(( and she should not let them and if she does get hurt by it then she has failed#(( (while still being utterly terrified of the sheer Concept. just in a more detached manner.)#(( but if someone already associated with her and who she views as someone close to her#(( decides that she needs to die. then that is matter of fact and she just has to die now#(( she will lay her head down and she will not fight or talk as they do it#(( like. so much of her contradiction and her strange behavior and inappropriate reactions#(( are because she thinks of herself as and has been treated as an inanimate object first and foremost#(( just. REALLY cant overstate how constantly miranda is at Peak Terrified at all times.#(( this is an eternal thing in the back of her mind that has been placed there very intentionally#(( and even without the merkingdom its gonna take a lot to deal with that#(( (as you might be able to guess from. having a fear response that is ''let them do whatever they want to me'')#(( (''and hope it stops soon'')#(( this is also where miranda's suicidal impulses come from! because the same need to dispose of her has also been put into herself#(( you know. so she can manually dispose of herself if she breaks and no one else can get rid of her
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i think that........... yes, eris absolutely despises his father for everything he's put his mother & brothers through, specifically ( not so much for himself, because he feels like it was necessary, and the harsh lessons made him stronger. he's very passionate about his wrong opinion 😔 ), but beron is still his father, and he'd defend his honor if anyone were to say something against him publicly.
#eris: lmao my father's plan is so dumb#sb: yeah it-#eris: excuse me?#autumn patriotism above all.#it's a.. very complicated dynamic.#yes eris loathes him. yes eris takes pride in being his best son. yes he would kill him. yes he doesn't know how to live without him.#i guess we'll see in the coming novels but.. i'd like it if it isn't a flat relationship. i don't like one-note characters.#beron has his good moments (rare as they are.) and it kills eris every time because he knows it won't last. and he needs to be on guard.#he's the one that spends the most time with beron. as his heir / as his advisor / as his general. beron trusts him the most.#he has so many conflicting emotions on the matter.#tbd.#abuse cw#okay NOW i can write. i just have so many thoughts on the autumn court dynamics ahhh.
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Posts about LOST making me revisit my thoughts / headcanons about what happens with Ben and Hurley on the now-peaceful island.
I love the idea of the dynamic between Ben knowing everything about how the island works, but not much about popular culture or actually having a life outside of following orders and doing things for the sake of the island. And Hurley wanting Ben to loosen up and also deal with some of that trauma that he’s got going on, but also being very ‘???’ about how the island works.
And Hurley has an uphill battle because the remaining people on the island:
Don’t know who he is just emerging from the forest and proclaiming him to be the new protector
Ben is here and has a history of being the Cause Of Problems and now he’s claiming to be good now and this new guy is vouching for him but how can we trust him when he’s a known liar
So trying to get Ben used to living a more settled and less traumatic life is challenging because the guy has been essentially running on fumes for years and now his conscience and trauma is catching up with him and isolating himself doing paperwork isn’t going to help that.
Headcanons for Ben & Hurley’s Adventures On The Island™️
Ben is sometimes very exasperated at Hurley continuously questioning stuff that he understood (or learned not to question) when he was barely a teenager. But also Hurley keeps trying to get Ben to sit down and eat some goddamn popcorn because what do you mean you haven’t watched [movie]?!
Ben has to to unlearn lying automatically as a form of putting up walls. Hurley becomes very adept at telling when Ben is lying (he doesn’t know if that’s part of being the Protector or if his friendship with Ben has granted him that).
Hurley introduces Ben to ‘his culture’ (ie movies and video games. He uses his powers as Protector to ransack an out-of-business Blockbusters at least once) - while also reading books Ben recommends even though he’s not much of a book guy but he wants to meet him halfway.
Both of them help each other process their grief, trauma, and PTSD from [gestures to the entirety of LOST]. Including flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks. Both of them are good listeners, it’s getting the other to talk about their problems that’s the struggle (Hurley rambles about other things to change the subject while Ben will just keep working until he drops)
Following from that, Hurley keeps getting imposter syndrome and thinking he’s not good enough to be the Protector. And he doesn’t understand why Ben trusts him (Ben also has this exact fear too but hides it far better)
Ben is still unused to hugs, which is an issue as Hurley is a big hugger. He has picked ben up in a bear hug and spun him around at least once.
Basically Hurley has adopted the human equivalent of a rescued attack dog as his emotional support animal.
#Me looking at actual-murderer-and-chronic-liar Ben Linus#Chanting ‘wet cat wet cat wet cat’#look Ben doesn’t even have the highest kill count (which is inherantly funny for a main villain)#I have a lot of feelings about Ben Linus and how he appears self-serving but also everything he does is for the island#and he gets blinded by his loyalty to the island and Jacob#the fact that his AU self was actually a genuinely good guy??#The guy had an abusive father then got shot and fell in with essentially a cult and was conditioned to obey an unseen god for a young age#I’m so so happy Hugo decided to adopt him as an advisor at the end#the guy needs a rest and also a friend and he got one#Also yes Ben does continue to keep rabbits#LOST#LOST spoilers#Ben Linus#hugo reyes#hurley reyes#benjamin linus
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Saw a post about the inherent tragedy of the heir and the spare, the knowledge that the spare is there for naught but safe keeping. now imagine two siblings. the heir named Triumph. and the spare named Tragedy.
#very occasionally Massachusetts names in the 1700s fucked severely and it was mostly ironic#also like. i imagine the heir and the spare had two very different upbringings and im not talking about abuse.#im talking about like. if the kingdom has fallen so far that the spare is necessary then the spare has to be ready to seize it.#the spare is the coming in clutch. the trump card. the heir and the spare. the ruler in peacetime vs wartime.#anyway i imagine the spare sits on a council of advisors so that if something drastic happens while they're both still alive then yk.#its the dichotomy. idk.
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my (virtual) meeting with my thesis advisor is in... 7 hours. I'm sort of almost finished writing the exposé that I was supposed to write. sort of. I'll probably need another hour or two until I feel okay enough about it to actually get any sleep.
unfortunately my left arm is realllly starting to hurt and I can't lift it much anymore (thanks to the covid booster I got today). hopefully I'll get it done anyway. and hopefully the pain won't be so bad that I can't sleep.
#I mean. if I get... idk like 3-4 hours of sleep that should be enough#I only have to be awake until the meeting is over. then I'll probably go back to bed.#and that way if it goes really really badly I can escape from that by being asleep lol#I hope it'll be okay 😭 I'm so scared#but it's this... much more quiet subtle kind of scared. I never experienced that before the anxiety meds#so it feels weird.#I haven't even cried yet! no panic attacks or anything! there have been a few meltdowns but not specifically about this#so I have to keep reminding myself that this is fine! I can handle this! it used to be sooooo much worse and I somehow got through that too#so I will definitely get through this and it will be okay#after all - no matter what happens. I'll be done with uni in February. I won't have to speak to my advisor ever again (so if he thinks I'm a#fucking idiot it doesn't matter at all!)#this is far from the hardest thing I've done! I was my dad's carer. I got my driver's license (yes that was very hard for me). I was in#therapy. I lived in abusive households until I was 25! this is easy in comparison#it just feels hard because I can't stand the feeling of being judged. and this is. just. me being judged (for what I write)#but it will be okay and I'll never write anything like this ever again and I'll get a break and I'll find a job I don't hate and it'll all#be worth it#personal#posts about my thesis
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idk one of my friend's described me as her most traumatised friend and made fun of me(in a nice way dw) for saying golden boy emerald girl is one of my fave stories bc of how sweet it is. she was like no thats depressing as fuck
like ask the traumatized girl if the story is deeply lonely or depressing, she says its a nice story, its depressing.
its about a gay man moving back home and getting a marriage of convenience with this girl who has been pining for his mom since college bc he realizes he has to take care of his mom now and needs a co-parent
anyway i always thought it was a really nice story in the same way i think nighthawks is a really happy painting i guess
#idk why im talking about it#i guess i think a lot about the dubious honor of most traumatized friend since i feel like she's known way more people than me#cuz like idk i consider most people to have been throuh worse than me but idk#my therapist has said that im just kinda denying that i could have had bad stuff happen to me#and lately i feel like ive been getting a lot of ough thats awful or i wouldnt have stayed through that etc from friends#about stuff i thought we all just had to put up with or that anyone would do etc#so idk i think i might have gotten fucked up at some point#<- actually my therapist did describe my thesis advisor as being abusive toward me but saying ive been abused feels like stealing valor#im so certain that theres like some technical thing such that someone being abusive toward you does not then entail that you were abused
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realizing that maaaaybe i'm so reluctant to experience Disappointment because that feeling is heavily tied to a "traumatic" experience and i never really gave myself full space to grieve that loss / examine what it meant to me
#about me#traumatized is in air-quotes because i can never decide if it was actually traumatic#(''it'' being severely physically injured to the point that i will probs never recover full capacity in the affected areas)#(but also ''it'' is last minute altering my degree path and emotional abuse from my advisor)
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genuinely mortifying that my parents successfully abused me when i was a kid becayse what do you MEAN these fucking losers psychologically damaged beyond repair they can't do ANYTHING
#my mother is fucking unbearable recently what do you MEAN you want me to handhold you through installing waze in your phone you are FIFTY#i can't stop getting into bullshit with her because i literally do not have the patience because now that i'm older she wants me to#be her fucking advisor because 'i'm more experienced' bitch i only learned this shit because you didn't raise me???#then i try to just explain things because it's easier and she doesn't even listen oh my God my fucking god i'm going to go insane#it's genuinely so pathetic i can't feel victimized myself like it doesn't feel like abuse. every outburst i witness registers as a tantrum#fuck me i need to calm down lol#i'm not making any sense
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The director of the New York Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights of the UN (UN OHCHR), Craig Mokhiber, has resigned in a letter dated 28 October 2023
the resignation letter can be found embedded in this tweet by Rami Atari (@.Raminho) dated 31 October 2023.
The letters are here:
Transcription:
United Nations | Nations Unies
HEADQUARTERS I SIEGE I NEW YORK, NY 10017
28 October 2023
Dear High Commissioner,
This will be my last official communication to you as Director of the New York Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights.
I write at a moment of great anguish for the world, including for many of our colleagues. Once again, we are seeing a genocide unfolding before our eyes, and the Organization that we serve appears powerless to stop it. As someone who has investigated human rights in Palestine since the 1980s, lived in Gaza as a UN human rights advisor in the 1990s, and carried out several human rights missions to the country before and since, this is deeply personal to me.
I also worked in these halls through the genocides against the Tutsis, Bosnian Muslims, the Yazidi, and the Rohingya. In each case, when the dust settled on the horrors that had been perpetrated against defenseless civilian populations, it became painfully clear that we had failed in our duty to meet the imperatives of prevention of mass atrocites, of protection of the vulnerable, and of accountability for perpetrators. And so it has been with successive waves of murder and persecution against the Palestinians throughout the entire life of the UN.
High Commissioner, we are failing again.
As a human rights lawyer with more than three decades of experience in the field, I know well that the concept of genocide has often been subject to political abuse. But the current wholesale slaughter of the Palestinian people, rooted in an ethno-nationalist settler colonial ideology, in continuation of decades of their systematic persecution and purging, based entirely upon their status as Arabs, and coupled with explicit statements of intent by leaders in the Israeli government and military, leaves no room for doubt or debate. In Gaza, civilian homes, schools, churches, mosques, and medical institutions are wantonly attacked as thousands of civilians are massacred. In the West Bank, including occupied Jerusalem, homes are seized and reassigned based entirely on race, and violent settler pogroms are accompanied by Israeli military units. Across the land, Apartheid rules.
This is a text-book case of genocide. The European, ethno-nationalist, settler colonial project in Palestine has entered its final phase, toward the expedited destruction of the last remnants of indigenous Palestinian life in Palestine. What's more, the governments of the United States, the United Kingdom, and much of Europe, are wholly complicit in the horrific assault. Not only are these governments refusing to meet their treaty obligations "to ensure respect" for the Geneva Conventions, but they are in fact actively arming the assault, providing economic and intelligence support, and giving political and diplomatic cover for Israel's atrocities.
Volker Turk, High Commissioner for Human Rights Palais Wilson, Geneva
In concert with this, western corporate media, increasingly captured and state-adjacent, are in open breach of Article 20 of the ICCPR, continuously dehumanizing Palestinians to facilitate the genocide, and broadcasting propaganda for war and advocacy of national, racial, or religious hatred that constitutes incitement to discrimination, hostility, and violence. US-based social media companies are suppressing the voices of human rights defenders while amplifying pro-Israel propaganda. Israel lobby online-trolls and GONGOS are harassing and smearing human rights defenders, and western universities and employers are collaborating with them to punish those who dare to speak out against the atrocities. In the wake of this genocide, there must be an accounting for these actors as well, just as there was for radio Mules Collins in Rwanda.
In such circumstances, the demands on our organization for principled and effective action are greater than ever. But we phave not met the challenge. The protective enforcement power Security Council has again been blocked by US intransigence, the SG [UN Secretary General] is under assault for the mildest of protestations, and our human rights mechanisms are under sustained slanderous attack by an organized, online impunity network.
Decades of distraction by the illusory and largely disingenuous promises of Oslo have diverted the Organization from its core duty to defend international law, international human rights, and the Charter itself. The mantra of the "two-state solution" has become an open joke in the corridors of the UN, both for its utter impossibility in fact, and for its total failure to account for the inalienable human rights of the Palestinian people. The so-called "Quartet" has become nothing more than a fig leaf for inaction and for subservience to a brutal status quo. The (US-scripted) deference to "agreements between the parties themselves" (in place of international law) was always a transparent slight-of-hand, designed to reinforce the power of Israel over the rights of the occupied and dispossessed Palestinians.
High Commissioner, I came to this Organization first in the 1980s, because I found in it a principled, norm-based institution that was squarely on the side of human rights, including in cases where the powerful US, UK, and Europe were not on our side. While my own government, its subsidiarity institutions, and much of the US media were still supporting or justifying South African apartheid, Israeli oppression, and Central American death squads, the UN was standing up for the oppressed peoples of those lands. We had international law on our side. We had human rights on our side. We had principle on our side. Our authority was rooted in our integrity. But no more.
In recent decades, key parts of the UN have surrendered to the power of the US, and to fear of the Israel Lobby, to abandon these principles, and to retreat from international law itself. We have lost a lot in this abandonment, not least our own global credibility. But the Palestinian people have sustained the biggest losses as a result of our failures. It is a stunning historic irony that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted in the same year that the Nakba was perpetrated against the Palestinian people. As we commemorate the 75th Anniversary of the UDHR, we would do well to abandon the old cliché that the UDHR was born out of the atrocities that proceeded it, and to admit that it was born alongside one of the most atrocious genocides of the 20th Century, that of the destruction of Palestine. In some sense, the framers were promising human rights to everyone, except the Palestinian people. And let us remember as well, that the UN itself carries the original sin of helping to facilitate the dispossession of the Palestinian people by ratifying the European settler colonial project that seized Palestinian land and turned it over to the colonists. We have much for which to atone.
But the path to atonement is clear. We have much to learn from the principled stance taken in cities around the world in recent days, as masses of people stand up against the genocide, even at risk of beatings and arrest. Palestinians and their allies, human rights defenders of every stripe, Christian and Muslim organizations, and progressive Jewish voices saying "not in our name", are all leading the way. All we have to do is to follow them.
Yesterday, just a few blocks from here, New York's Grand Central Station was completely taken over by thousands of Jewish human rights defenders standing in solidarity with the Palestinian people and demanding an end to Israeli tyranny (many risking arrest, in the process). In doing so, they stripped away in an instant the Israeli hasbara propaganda point (and old antisemitic trope) that Israel somehow represents the Jewish people. It does not. And, as such, Israel is solely responsible for its crimes. On this point, it bears repeating, in spite of Israel lobby smears to the contrary, that criticism of Israel's human rights violations is not antisemitic, any more than criticism of Saudi violations is Islamophobic, criticism of Myanmar violations is anti-Buddhist, or criticism of Indian violations is anti-Hindu. When they seek to silence us with smears, we must raise our voice, not lower it. I trust you will agree, High Commissioner, that this is what speaking truth to power is all about.
But I also find hope in those parts of the UN that have refused to compromise the Organization's human rights principles in spite of enormous pressures to do so. Our independent special rapporteurs, commissions of enquiry, and treaty body experts, alongside most of our staff, have continued to stand up for the human rights of the Palestinian people, even as other parts of the UN (even at the highest levels) have shamefully bowed their heads to power. As the custodians of the human rights norms and standards, OHCHR. has a particular duty to defend those standards. Our job, I believe, is to make our voice heard, from the Secretary-General to the newest UN recruit, and horizontally across the wider UN system, incisting that the human rights of the Palestinian people are not up for debate, negotiation, or compromise anywhere under the blue flag.
What, then, would a UN-norm-based position look like? For what would we work if we were true to our rhetorical admonitions about human rights and equality for all, accountability for perpetrators, redress for victims, protection of the vulnerable, and empowerment for rights-holders, all under the rule of law? The answer, I believe, is simple—if we have the clarity to see beyond the propagandistic smokescreens that distort the vision of justice to which we are sworn, the courage to abandon fear and deference to powerful states, and the will to truly take up the banner of human rights and peace. To be sure, this is a long-term project and a steep climb. But we must begin now or surrender to unspeakable horror. I see ten essential points:
Legitimate action: First, we in the UN must abandon the failed (and largely disingenuous) Oslo paradigm, its illusory two-state solution, its impotent and complicit Quartet, and its subjugation of international law to the dictates of presumed political expediency. Our positions must be unapologetically based on international human rights and international law.
Clarity of Vision: We must stop the pretense that this is simply a conflict over land or religion between two warring parties and admit the reality of the situation in which a disproportionately powerful state is colonizing, persecuting, and dispossessing an indigenous population on the basis of their ethnicity.
One State based on human rights: We must support the establishment of a single, democratic, secular state in all of historic Palestine, with equal rights for Christians, Muslims, and Jews, and, therefore, the dicmantling of the deeply racist, settler-colonial project and an end to apartheid across the land.
Fighting Apartheid: We must redirect all UN efforts and resources to the struggle against apartheid, just as we did for South Africa in the 1970s, 80s, and early 90s.
Return and Compensation: We must reaffirm and insist on the right to return and full compensation for all Palestinians and their families currently living in the occupied territories, in Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and in the diaspora across the globe.
Truth and Justice: We must call for a transitional justice process, making full use of decades of accumulated UN investigations, enquiries, and reports, to document the truth, and to ensure accountability for all perpetrators, redress for all victims, and remedies for documented injustices.
Protection: We must press for the deployment of a well-resourced and strongly mandated UN protection force with a sustained mandate to protect civilians from the river to the sea.
Disarmament: We must advocate for the removal and destruction of Israel's massive stockpiles of nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons, lest the conflict lead to the total destruction of the region and, possibly, beyond.
Mediation: We must recognize that the US and other western powers are in fact not credible mediators, but rather actual parties to the conflict who are complicit with Israel in the violation of Palestinian rights, and we must engage them as such.
Solidarity: We must open our doors (and the doors of the SG) wide to the legions of Palestinian, Israeli, Jewish, Muslim, and Christian human rights defenders who are standing in solidarity with the people of Palestine and their human rights and stop the unconstrained flow of Israel lobbyists to the offices of UN leaders, where they advocate for continued war, persecution, apartheid, and impunity, and smear our human rights defenders for their principled defense of Palestinian rights.
This will take years to achieve, and western powers will fight us every step of the way, so we must be steadfast. In the immediate term, we must work for an immediate ceasefire and an end to the longstanding siege on Gaza, stand up against the ethnic cleansing of Gaza, Jerusalem, and the West Bank (and elsewhere), document the genocidal assault in Gaza, help to bring massive humanitarian aid and reconstruction to the Palestinians, take care of our traumatized colleagues and their families, and fight like hell for a principled approach in the UN's political offices.
The UN's failure in Palestine thus far is not a reason for us to withdraw. Rather it should give us the courage to abandon the failed paradigm of the past, and fully embrace a more principled course. Let us, as OHCHR, boldly and proudly join the anti-apartheid movement that is growing all around the world, adding our logo to the banner of equality and human rights for the Palestinian people. The world is watching. We will all be accountable for where we stood at this crucial moment in history. Let us stand on the side of justice.
I thank you, High Commissioner, Volker, for hearing this final appeal from my desk. I will leave the Office in a few days for the last time, after more than three decades of service. But please do not hesitate to reach out if I can be of assistance in the future.
Sincerely,
Craig Mokhiber
End of transcription.
Emphasis (bolding) is my own. I have added links, where relevant, to explanations of concepts the former Director refers to.
#Israel#Palestine#October 2023#28 October 2023#United Nations#Described#Long post#I’ll add more links to the things he is talking about later
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