#Also yes Ben does continue to keep rabbits

[asexual-squidward]

Posts about LOST making me revisit my thoughts / headcanons about what happens with Ben and Hurley on the now-peaceful island.

I love the idea of the dynamic between Ben knowing everything about how the island works, but not much about popular culture or actually having a life outside of following orders and doing things for the sake of the island. And Hurley wanting Ben to loosen up and also deal with some of that trauma that he’s got going on, but also being very ‘???’ about how the island works.

And Hurley has an uphill battle because the remaining people on the island:

Don’t know who he is just emerging from the forest and proclaiming him to be the new protector

Ben is here and has a history of being the Cause Of Problems and now he’s claiming to be good now and this new guy is vouching for him but how can we trust him when he’s a known liar

So trying to get Ben used to living a more settled and less traumatic life is challenging because the guy has been essentially running on fumes for years and now his conscience and trauma is catching up with him and isolating himself doing paperwork isn’t going to help that.

Headcanons for Ben & Hurley’s Adventures On The Island™️

Ben is sometimes very exasperated at Hurley continuously questioning stuff that he understood (or learned not to question) when he was barely a teenager. But also Hurley keeps trying to get Ben to sit down and eat some goddamn popcorn because what do you mean you haven’t watched [movie]?!

Ben has to to unlearn lying automatically as a form of putting up walls. Hurley becomes very adept at telling when Ben is lying (he doesn’t know if that’s part of being the Protector or if his friendship with Ben has granted him that).

Hurley introduces Ben to ‘his culture’ (ie movies and video games. He uses his powers as Protector to ransack an out-of-business Blockbusters at least once) - while also reading books Ben recommends even though he’s not much of a book guy but he wants to meet him halfway.

Both of them help each other process their grief, trauma, and PTSD from [gestures to the entirety of LOST]. Including flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks. Both of them are good listeners, it’s getting the other to talk about their problems that’s the struggle (Hurley rambles about other things to change the subject while Ben will just keep working until he drops)

Following from that, Hurley keeps getting imposter syndrome and thinking he’s not good enough to be the Protector. And he doesn’t understand why Ben trusts him (Ben also has this exact fear too but hides it far better)

Ben is still unused to hugs, which is an issue as Hurley is a big hugger. He has picked ben up in a bear hug and spun him around at least once.

Basically Hurley has adopted the human equivalent of a rescued attack dog as his emotional support animal.

[har-rison-s]

har-rison-s' IT masterlist

A/N: here is (finally) my IT masterlist! this might be my biggest one yet. doesn’t compare, of course, to my quantity of borhap and queen writings, but these i’m more proud of than those. happy reading!

indicators:

🌺 - fluff

💥 - angst

🌙 - smut

✨ - personal favourite

‼️ - spoilers for IT: Chapter Two

psa: don't repost my work to other websites without my permission!

• Teen!Stanley Uris Writings

underwater 🌺

underwater 2 🌺

reader is new in town, and not only does she have a fancy for stanley uris, but she also has an arsenal of bad pick-up lines

pretty 🌺 pretty sad 💥 pretty brave 💥  pretty proud🌺

a series where reader is bill's big sister

you got me trippin’ 🌺

you got me mumblin’ 🌺

reader is new in town, and her only friend bev introduces her to her friend group. reader likes one friend more than all others

run, rabbit, run 💥

reader encounters IT in one of the school bathrooms, and stanley is the first who she meets afterwards

dancing 🌺✨

reader teaches stanley how to dance the waltz

fast car🌺✨

reader and stanley have plans for their futures

tears for fears 💥

reader comforts stanley in the sewers after the flute lady attacks him

memories are the mind’s photos🌺

reader and stanley take pictures in the photobooth

you don't know you're beautiful💥🌺

reader is insecure about her looks, so she uses lots of makeup to look “pretty” and to appeal to stanley. unfortunately, the losers one day encounter the bowers gang

ask me why 💥🌺‼️✨

reader and stanley were high school sweethearts, and her return to derry brings a lot of news to her, some more shocking than others

stand by me 🌺

reader stands up to the losers always bullying stanley

shower caps🌺

stanley has prepared a shower cap for his girlfriend and each of his friends

lady in red🌺✨

reader and stanley attend prom, and her attire is dashing

foreign taste🌺

stanley comes over to reader's place for dinner with her & her parents

a hundred times🌺✨

stanley and reader are in a new relationship, but richie uses their shyness to his taste - he keeps flirting with reader

spiders in your hair 🌺

reader's hair is similar to stanley's, and sometimes it gets out of hand

loved you first 💥🌺

stanley and reader like each other, but richie's flirtings make stanley think that reader likes richie

holding your hand 🌺

reader and stanley occupy themselves at the arcade

if i was a boy 💥🌺

reader's hair gets cut short and everyone bullies her for it, except for one special stanley uris :)

• Adult!Stanley Uris Writings

heaven series masterlist

loving you 🌙

stanley greets reader at the airport after her “work holiday” and he's excited to see her (to say the least)

stand by me: continued 🌺

the losers defeat IT without the help of reader and stanley, and come over for dinner a while later and meet their wonderful family

children are the future 🌺✨

mike hanlon calls stanley about the return of IT and asks him to come home, and stanley's kids are what convinces him to obey mike's wish

say so!🌙

reader has been feeling unappreciated, and stanley makes sure she never does again

we’ve been waiting for you🌺

it's the birth of stanley and reader's first child

a cold & lonely christmas🌺🎄

reader asks if jewish stanley uris would want to have dinner together on christmas eve

losers stick together 🌺

the losers have a dinner at stanley and reader's place, and they meet the children

losers will stick together🌺‼️

sequel to “lst”, losers tell stanley what happened in derry in may

ask me why 💥‼️✨

reader and stanley were high school sweethearts, and her return to derry brings a lot of news to her, some more shocking than others

lasagna evening 🌺✨

stanley and reader spend an evening together, making lasagna

your song 🌺

stanley asks reader a very special question at a restaurant, singing elton john's famous song

lay all your love on me 🌙✨

reader is just too eager, too turned on for stanley to wait for their friends' departure the next day, and what a fool would he be to not give in!

• Teen!Eddie Kaspbrak Writings

fascinating🌺

eddie gets so nervous around reader that all he can do is spit out the health and disease facts he knows

knight in shining armour💥🌺

reader is shorter than her peers, and she's also very quiet and sensitive. luckily, so is eddie, but he'll protect against any evil in the world

last christmas💥🌺✨

eddie and richie have been fancying reader for a while, and it's her crush standing her up on christmas eve that makes them reveal their feelings to her

pharmacy💥🌺

eddie keeps meeting a girl in his local pharmacy who he hasn't seen anywhere else, certainly not at his school. and she's always in front of him in line

white dresses with blue satin sashes💥🌺✨

reader likes dressing up, she loves cute dresses with buttons and bows and all sorts of decorations. on a particularly bad day of bullying, eddie helps make her feel better about her taste in clothes :)

• Adult!Eddie Kaspbrak Writings

merry little christmas🌺🎄

reader and eddie have a cozy christmas together

moments💥🌺

eddie and richie have taken in stanley's daughter after her father's untimely, unfortunate death. it's their first christmas together, and her first christmas without her father

• Teen!Bill Denbrough Writings

obstacles💥🌺

bill rescues reader from her nightmare in the house on neibolt street

artist's hand🌺

reader and bill have a skillful hand in drawing, and they've got a crush on each other. until a certain day, those crushes remain secret

• Adult!Richie Tozier Writings

each time he falls in love💥🌺✨

richie tozier's unsuccessful romances throughout his life

like father, like daughter?🌺

richie tozier takes his daughter to the journey back to his hometown to see his friends

kiss it off me 💥🌙✨

on the day before his birthday, richie feels such intense and complicated feelings that he needs a release. but he doesn't know where these feelings come from

pretty proud🌺

bill's older sister was the only one richie trusted with his secret back in the day, but she sees it's true to this day

choices💥✨

richie has found himself being in love with more than one person, at the same time. she may not take it as well as he expected

moments💥🌺

eddie and richie have taken in stanley's daughter after her father's untimely, unfortunate death. it's their first christmas together, and her first christmas without her father

• Teen!Richie Tozier Writings

you've silenced the great richie tozier!🌺

turns out, there is someone with wittier comments than richie's

last christmas💥🌺✨

eddie and richie have been fancying reader for a while, and it's her crush standing her up on christmas eve that makes them reveal their feelings to her

join the groove!🌺✨

richie and reader are paired up for a P.E. dancing task

• Adult!Ben Hanscom Writings

mirror tricks💥

ben and his pregnant wife face an attack at the house on neibolt street

• Losers Club (as a group) Writings

a/n: yes i will use this gif for every losers club collective writing bcs its the only gif that fits ty

losers stick together🌺

the losers have a dinner at stanley and reader's place, and they meet the children

losers will stick together🌺‼️

sequel to “lst”, losers tell stanley what happened in derry in may

ask me why 💥‼️✨

reader and stanley were high school sweethearts, and her return to derry brings a lot of news to her, some more shocking than others

stand by me: continued🌺

the losers defeat IT without the help of reader and stanley, and come over for dinner a while later and meet their wonderful family

we’ve been waiting for you🌺

it's the birth of stanley and reader's first child

________________________

Happy reading!

Permanent taglist:  @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131 @sunshine-stan-uris @radiantrichie

Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g @sadhwstudent @shawni-h @gothackedalready @seasidecrowbar @starred-river @raspberryacid @facelessbish @tozierskaspb @plum-duels @whereyoustand

[ehstarwar]

flesh stays no farther reason (1/6)

Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

-

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5K

Read on AO3

Notes: 

my brain at 2a.m., assuring me that it'll be a one-shot: for the lady, perhaps a salad?

me, 5,000+ words in and only on their first meeting: [chuckling] perhaps not

-

1

what's to come is still unsure

She sees it on Reddit.

She doesn’t normally scroll through the website (certainly not subreddits like this) but she’s bored and can only take the same Buzzfeed quizzes so many times.

She’s not sure what led her to this page, how the rabbit hole of the internet made her search r/mseekingfcorusant but here she was, scrolling through the disjointed thoughts of horny guys in her area.

Posted by u/droidwrangerl88

need hot girl to bang. serious inquiries only.

Posted by u/mycumtastelikesarlacc

Any girls in the Coruscant area looking to hook up this evening? 38M seeking mid-20sF. Will split hotel bill.

Posted by u/hotbountyhunter3483

any females interested in shredded guy for an evening? willing to meet for drinks b4 hand, and will pay for ur drinks if ur hot. (943) 349-9684 ;)

Rey finds it consistently astonishing how gross and vulgar men can be when hidden behind a screen. But she is scrolling on this page out of her own free will, so it does seem a little ‘pot-calling-the-kettle-black-ish.’ Just as her finger goes to press back to the home-screen, a tiny blue bubble appears at the top of the page, indicating that there has been a new post made. Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

Posted by u/KyL0_R3N

31M seeking similarly aged F for the evening of 05/17. I have an important meeting on the 18th and sex the night before proves to a good luck charm for me. Nothing too crazy or obscene, fairly vanilla to start off with, but willing to go further based on her desires.

Something in Rey clenches.

It’s by far the most eloquently phrased way of asking for sex that she’s seen thus far. He seems straightforward, which is refreshing, but she knows that the best of psychopaths are good at hiding their true intention.

She clicks to his profile.

He seems interested in pretty common threads. Cooking tips, best laundromats in Coruscant, Galaxy Battles discourse; all innocuous and nothing to indicate he would chop up whoever responds to his post. Maybe that’s why she sends him a message.

From u/R3yoflight

why not just download tinder?

everyone on tinder is looking for sex too.

She bites her lip as she presses send. It’s not the best conversation starter, she’s aware, but their semi-introduction was from him posting about wanting to have sex to preform well in a meeting. Formalities can be forgone, in this particular situation. It’s not like she’s trying to impress him either; she didn’t message him to accept is offer, just merely because she’s curious.

There’s a pang of nervousness when she hears the notification sound out that he’s responded.

From u/KyL0_R3N

There’s too much preamble on dating apps.

Also, I’m looking to have sex, not to date.

It seemed more advantageous

to be straightforward.

From u/R3yoflight

hmmmm

i guess that makes sense

(also advantageous is worth 17 points in

scrabble, so kudos)

have you gotten many interested respondents?

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’re the first.

From u/R3yoflight

who says i’m interested???

From u/KyL0_R3N

Well, you are the one who messaged me?

Also, my post has been up for only a few minutes,

so you’re the first respondent in any capacity.

From u/R3yoflight

oooohhh i feel special ☺️✨

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’ve yet to tell me if you’re interested.

Is she?

Is she really considering letting Mr. KyL0_R3N fuck her after meeting him through a publicly placed internet post and knowing next to nothing about him?

From u/R3yoflight

maybe??

idk v much abt u yet

how do i know ur not a serial killer

or that u actually are who u say u are

which u haven’t yet

said who u are, that is

From u/KyL0_R3N

I’m  31M. I work in Coruscant at a tech company.

I’m 6’3, 190lbs. I’m not a killer in any capacity.

You haven’t told me anything about yourself,

which hardly seems fair.

From u/R3yoflight

24F, 5’6, i’m not telling u my weight

i work at an auto shop downtown so i can

kick ur ass if ur lying abt not being a killer

From u/KyL0_R3N  

In order to kick my ass, we’d have to meet.

So, are you interested or not?

From u/R3yoflight

i shouldn’t be

From u/KyL0_R3N

I have the distinct feeling that you are.

Am I right?

From u/R3yoflight

...

yeah

-

He tells her his name is Kylo Ren, which she thinks sounds stupid and made up, but doesn’t press him. They hammer out some more details, agreeing to meet at the bar of a swanky hotel downtown first, and if all goes well, he’ll have a room reserved for them.

When she tells him that she can’t afford to pay any of the room, he dismisses her flippantly with a quick ‘I’ll take care of it’ that makes her chest feel tight.

They don’t talk much after that, only a message from her a few days before hand, making sure the plan was still on, and an affirmative from his side. But a few hours before they’re supposed to meet up, Rey gets a notification from him. It distracts her from the task at hand (precision shaving of her legs and… other parts), causing a knick on the back of her calf.

From u/KyL0_R3N

While I don’t think that we’ll be doing

anything that would require

a safe word, I’d like to have one in case.

From u/R3yoflight

i’ve never had a safe word.

what’s a good one?

From u/KyL0_R3N

It doesn’t have to be anything special.

We can stick to a traditional scale.

Green means you’re good.

Yellow means slow down.

Red means to stop entirely.

Does that work?

From u/R3yoflight

yeah thats good

why don’t you think that we won’t be doing

anything to justify a safe word?

you planning to go easy on me 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

That depends, sweetheart.

How far are you willing to go?

Rey thinks for a moment. She should have some hard lines set, especially since he’s a total stranger. In fact, she shouldn’t be fucking a stranger at all. But she was in this far, so she may as well go all in.

From u/R3yoflight

i’m not super into choking but a lil breath play

is okay

no extreme bondage or degradation

maybe at some point but just… not now

anything in my ass will require a lot of work

before hand bc not much has been in there.

any hard no’s 4 u?

i’m on birth control so u can come inside me

if you want

From u/KyL0_R3N

I think we should stick to no

bondage/degradation/breath play for now

I’m not super into those anyways.

I’ll keep that in mind about your ass.

Maybe nothing in my ass. For now.

That about covers my no’s.

What are some of you hard yes���s?

From u/R3yoflight

i like being taken control of, dominated, i guess

kissing is big for me but i get it if u don’t like it

also major daddy kink but that can be

controlled if its not ur thing

what do u like

From u/KyL0_R3N

Very much yes to that Daddy kink and kissing.

I lean towards dom anyway, so that should work out.

I like hickeys. Giving and receiving.

I also have pretty good stamina, just a warning.

From u/R3yoflight

i like a man with good stamina ;)

u gonna wear me out tonight? 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

Yes. Yes I am.

-

She gets there late. Unlike every other time she runs late for something, this time is purposeful. If he gets angry with her, she’ll know to leave. And she’s counting on that. Him giving her a reason to leave. She needs it so she doesn’t do something stupider than what she’s already doing now.

But when she arrives and see’s the absolute mammoth of a man, with long-is black hair and moles and big ears, Rey just knows she’s in for it.

He stands when he sees her. Realistically she knew that 6’3 was tall, but it’s still a bit shocking to her. One of his gargantuan hands is holding a beer, the other resting on the back of the chair. She spends a second too long admiring his form, earning a knowing-but-slight smirk from him.

“You’re Kylo.” It’s an unnecessary statement, because who else could he be, but one that is said all the same.

“And you’re Rey.”

His fucking voice. It’s too beautiful to be addressing her, she’s sure of it.

“Work ran over, that’s why I’m late.” She wasn’t going to give him an excuse, but the words fall out of her mouth.

“I’m familiar with that myself. It’s no trouble, really.” He holds the chair out for her, and she gracefully takes a seat. A server comes around and takes her drink order of a club soda before scurrying off.

“Nothing to relax the nerves?” He question, taking a sip of his drink.

“I prefer to have a clear head for…” She trails off. What does this qualify as? A hook-up? A booty-call? A job interview?

“Good girl.”

Her breath stops for a moment before she remembers its necessary to survive.

“You said you work for a tech company downtown; is it close?” She asks, hoping she sounds passive.

“Not far. I need to be close for tomorrow.” He never looks away from her; it makes her sweat.

The server comes back with her drink, and Rey takes a giant gulp, just for something to preoccupy her mouth.

“You said you work for an auto shop downtown. What do you do there?” He asks, eying her hands curiously. Rey worries that he’ll realize she wasn’t actually at work if her hands aren’t greasy, so she hides them under the table.

“I’m a mechanic,” She tells him, sitting up straighter.

“You’re…” He begins, but she cuts him off.

“A woman mechanic, yes. It’s not entirely uncommon.”

“I was going to say young.” She bites her lip. His voice doesn’t sound like its chastising her, but she feels bad all the same.

“Most men are uncomfortable with the fact that I know more about cars than them.” Rey doesn’t know why she continues to challenge him, but his reactions always surprise her.

It’s… nice.

“Do I seem like I’m uncomfortable by that?”

She regards him. “No, but you did proposition anyone with computer access, so I think your threshold for uncomfortable must be very high.”

He doesn’t laugh, per se, but the corners of his mouth lift and his cheeks become tight. She smiles at the sight.

“Seems that we’re both very bold. A female mechanic and an online propositioner. We make for quite a pair.”

“Hopefully that means the sex will be good.”

Kylo Ren does smile at that.

His hand is on the small of her back when they get in the elevator and Rey is actively trying to ignore the fluttering in her gut, which is why the words blurt out of her.

“My roommate knows where we are!” It’s a loud noise in an otherwise quiet area, but Kylo doesn’t seem startled by it. He just looks down at her. “I have to be back at the apartment, in person, by noon tomorrow or she’s calling the cops.” Rey is quieter now but her voice still shakes.

“My meeting is at 10, so you’ll have plenty of time to get back to your place. I can have my driver drop you off there, if you like,” He says.

“Thats… not why I’m telling you. But that you. I mean, my roommate will know if something bad happens to me. So it would be wise of you to not kill me.” Rey gulps.

Kylo’s hand comes to her face and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Rey.” His voice is soft. “I’m not going to kill you, or hit you, or do anything you don’t want me to do.” She’s facing him now. “If you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be mad. You can leave whenever you want.”

“But what do you want? You’ve asked me what I’ve wanted in every interaction we’ve had, but all I know is that you want to fuck somebody so that you’re not nervous or whatever tomorrow. Do you even want me? Or was I just the first person who responded to you post? It goes both ways, ya know. You need to tell me what you want, too.”

His hand brushes the side of her jaw, his eyes trail down her face, no doubt seeing the nervous expression she wears.

“I want you, Rey.”

-

His lips are on hers the moment the door is shut. His hand cradles the back of her head as he shoves his body against hers, pinning her to the wall. His other hand grips her hip and will definitely leave a bruise. She loves it.

But his warm, wet mouth on hers with his plush, pink lips makes any coherent thought leave her head. She moans into his mouth, hands trying desperately to pop open the buttons of his shirt. She makes a sound of frustration when the last stubborn button won’t come undone, and his hands are there in an instant, ripping the thing straight off. She slides her hands along his toned chest as his tongue invades her mouth. When her hands venture further south, they find the more than impressive bulge straining against his slacks.

“I should’ve… asked you earlier…” He says into her mouth as he sucks off the remaining shirt and suit jacket, “if you… like… dirty talk.” Rey keens against him, forcing his mouth to go to her neck as she breathes out a chant of ‘yes, yes, yes.’

Kylo makes a noise of approval before hoisting her into his arms. Rey’s legs instinctively wrap around his hips as he walks them towards the bed.

“Good, because it would be a shame not to be able to tell you that I can’t wait to taste your cunt.”  

Rey has died.

She has died and gone to whatever afterlife will have her.

She never wants to leave it.

“You… don’t… you don’t have to…” She manages to say between kisses. Kylo pulls back from her then, eyes dark, hair a mess, lip red and bitten.

“I want to. Will you let me?” Rey nods so fast she’s worried her neck will be sore. His hands ruck up her cotton dress, until he decides that the offending material will need to be off all together. She’s left in her black bralette and underwear and Kylo stares down at her.

“My tit’s aren’t that big. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to-”

“They’re perfect,” He cuts her off by kissing down her chest, mouthing her nipples through the dark fabric. The heat of his mouth combined with the coolness of the room make her nipples stand at attention, pebbling at the fabric.

Kylo depends further, and puts his entire face against her still-clothed pussy, inhaling and licking her through the fabric. Rey is a whiny mess against the sheets, hair in every direction, full body blush. She hopes he thinks she’s hot because, god, she’s never sen anyone like him.

Kylo takes of her panties and immodestly begins lapping at her cunt, no warning or hesitation, making Rey give something of a moan and a yelp. Her hand goes to his hair, feeling the luscious locks between her fingers. His hands go to her ass, lifting her up slightly so he gets a better angle.

“You’re… too good… at this…” She manages between breaths. Rey would bet anything he’s smirking against her.

Kylo uses his nose to rub at her clit before alternating between kitten licks and sucking on it. It takes no time at all for Rey to come. So quickly, in fact, that she would be embarrassed if she could move. Her whole body is on fire as he licks her through it, occasionally using a hand to brush at her nipples. The tears streaming out of her eyes and drool gathering at the corner of her mouth must make her look ghastly, but Kylo doesn’t seem to mind.

When he finally sits back, still between her legs, she can make out the bulge from earlier, now even more prominent.

He’s looking down at her, at the mess he’s made of her, and against every instinct, she lets him.

“I don’t normally come that fast,” she tells him. Her voice is quiet even now, and she knows it’ll be strained tomorrow. Good, something to remember him by.

“It won’t take me that long to come, either,” he admits, having the kindness to look sheepish as he says it.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Kylo represses a smile.

He gets off the bed, shucking his pants, underwear, and socks off in one felt swoop, leaving him gorgeously bare before her. If she though the bulge was impressive, the real thing is even better. His cock is red and pointed upwards as he stands across from her. His hand goes to pump himself a few times, smearing the precome along his length. Rey can’t help but reach out, whole body going with her as she opens her mouth to bring Kylo towards her. His hand stops her, gently, and she looks up at him in confusion.

“I want to suck you off,” She tells him, brows still furrowed.

“Later,” he tells her.

Kylo pulls her back up the bed with him, so that he hovers over her as he kisses her again. She still taste herself on him, but can’t find the heart to care. Her hands go to wrap around him, feeling the thickness for herself. Huge is an understatement. But Rey’s always been ambitious.

She pumps him a little, feeling him nearly whimper in her mouth.

“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” he murmurs.

“Yes… yes please…”

Rey feels his hand come over hers as Kylo slots himself between her legs and aligns his cock to her core. He slides in, slowly, stretching her the whole way. She pants against his skin, digs her nails into his shoulder.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s holding back from her.

“It’s good, daddy… so good…” she pants.

He whines some curses against her skin as he finishes seating himself inside of her.

“… so good, sweetheart. Takin’ me so well… taking your daddy so well,” He mumbles, pressing kisses to any part of her skin. Rey can already feel the beginning of another orgasm itch inside of her, and for the first time in a while, she has no doubt that Kylo will get her there.

“Daddy… you can move… please,” She’s breathless as she asks him. He groans above her and rest his forehead against hers.

His hips being to move, still slow, but making her breath hitch ever shallow thrust.

“Tight… so tight for me…” He mumbles. Rey takes a minute to look at him, really look at him. He’s flushed, skin damp, but he’s still so very handsome. Moles dot his face and she can’t resist using a hand to trace them. His hair tickles her nose, so she pushes it back behind his ears, which are a bit too big for his head but she adores them.

Kylo lets Rey take him in, but gets her attention back to the moment with a quick snap of his hips.

“Can you come again?” He asks, and Rey nods. His mouth depends on her neck, sucking hickeys to every patch of skin it finds, as he pushes into her. She can feel the bump of his cock every time he bottoms out, a sensation she’s never felt before, and it makes her clench him every time. His hand skates down between them to get to her clit, and he quickly begins rubbing her there.

“Gonna let me fill you with my come? Gonna be a good girl and hold it all in? Can you do that for me baby? Huh?” His words send shivers down her spine, aiding in his pursuit to get her to come again. She mumbles incoherent words of approval, trying to tel him “yes, yes! I’ll be your good girl!” but speech fails her at the moment.

But Rey knows Kylo understands what she’s trying to say.

She feels his rhythm falter and his hand speeds against her clit. She tightens her legs around his hips, trying to wordlessly tell him she’s close too.

“Please, baby, please come for me…” His voice is desperate and strained and makes her shudder. Her hips find purchase against the base of his cock, in combination with the movement of his fingers, and she’s thrust into the abyss again.

Kylo holds her against him as she comes, whole body vibrating, and he follows after her. He grunts against a pillow as he comes, and Rey is distantly aware that he’s actually biting the poor thing. His come is hot within her, and she feels him pulse as he keeps slamming his hips to hers. The slapping of skin slows as she feels his body let go of the tension, and Rey is boneless beneath him.

He lays on her, still half-hard inside of her, as they come down from their mutual high. They are both breathing so heavily that speaking is out of the question, at least for a while. Kylo pulls out of her, and a mad rush of fluid starts to leak out of her. She clenches, remembering his words from earlier.

Part of her expects a coldness afterwards; after all, that’s what most sex has been for her. Once he’s come, he leaves. It’s the oldest story in the book. And for all Kylo’s talk of ‘stamina’, there’s still a part of her that expects it’s just a façade.

But he doest leave her, cold and debauched, to get redressed and make a hasty exit. Instead, he plants a kiss to the side of her jaw and rubs her torso sweetly before helping her sit up. She’s weak, and he knows it.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” He says when she slouch against him. She mumbles something unintelligible into his skin. Instead of getting rough with her, Kylo just soothes her. “Women are 38% more likely to get a UTI if they don’t pee after sex. That’s not a parting gift I’d like to give you,” he elaborates.

Rey sighs, but lets Kylo get her to the bathroom.

-

They sleep in spurts.

For a few hours after their first time, before Kylo wakes her with the incessant press of his hard cock into her abdomen. (He takes her even more slowly that time, sleepy and still blissed out. He comes before she does, but he uses his fingers to get her there, still.)

A few hours after that, Rey makes good on her promise to get her mouth on him, waking him with her mouth already working him. (His come tastes bitter and tangy, but she swallows it because it’s his.) She sits on his face afterwards, letting his tongue get her off again.

The next time she wakes, Kylo is kissing her chest, licking at her now oversensitive nipples. There’s a faint light peaking through the windows and Rey knows their time is coming to an end. She runs a hand through his hair to indicate she’s awake now, but he keeps on in his pursuit. Only when her chest spit-covered and shiny does Kylo seem satisfied with his work, and lifts his head to look at Rey.

“Good Morning,” She mumbles, voice strained as expected, and still groggy from sleep. He hums his response, and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips.

Rey glances at the clock, noting its just past 7, when they both sit up in bed. Kylo goes to say something, but is cut off by the grumbling of Rey’s stomach. Her cheeks heat as his voice falls silent.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning,” she admits. Kylo’s brow furrows for a moment, but the dark expression passes fleetingly.

“Let’s rectify that first, shall we?”

-

The breakfast menu for room service is extensive, and Kylo orders one of everyone instead of actually looking it over. Rey can only half-heartedly try to tell him it was too much, when her eyes catch a glimpse of the fluffiest looking waffles she’s ever seen. Kylo had only kissed her head and ordered before walking into the shower.

It arrives in record time, a result, she’s sure, of the high-class hotel he got for them. The room, which she’d been too preoccupied to notice last night, is opulent. A bit gaudy for her taste (were gold curtains really necessary), but Rey was in no position to complain. She hesitated to put on actual clothes, instead opting for the plush robe that hung in the wardrobe.

Rey is half into the whole meal when Kylo emerges from the bathroom, towel hung low on his hips and hair still damp. Rey bites her lip so hard she draws blood. He sits across from her, picking up the two plates she hand’t touched.

“Greek Youghert and fruit? Don’t you want a waffle? I saved some whipped cream for you.” She extends the aforementioned whipped cream, earring her a slight smile from Kylo.

“You’re very kind, but no thank you. This is what I eat every morning,” he tells her. Rey scrunches her face. Kylo pours himself some black coffee too, and Rey finds the will to keep her mouth shut.

They eat in companionable silence, Rey scarfing down whatever her hands touch, and Kylo methodically eating his healthy-dude breakfast. Rey notes that neither of them are on their phones; it’s perhaps the first meal she’s had with someone in a while where that’s the case. Like everything else that’s made her heart flutter with him, she tries to ignore it.

Once the table is thoroughly pillaged, Kylo gets up to get dressed and says nothing when Rey hops on the bed and continues to watch him. He’s not embarrassed by nudity, clearly, and tosses the towel away for a solid 5 minutes before putting on underwear.

He’s fully dressed shortly and applies some product to his hair that has writing in french, yet Rey is still wearing only the robe and probably still has his come on her thighs. And other areas.

Part of her thinks he’ll just carry on with his routine as if she’s not there. He’ll pack his suit from the night before and leave the room without an second glance her way. Much to her relief, she’s wrong.

When he’s finally ready, Kylo turns toward her, leans down, and plants a soft kiss directly on her lips. It’s an infinitely more affectionate gesture than she had expected going into this, but a welcome one all the same. He stares fondly down at her when their lips part.

“The room is yours to use until 4 P.M., but I remember you have a noon curfew,” He tells her. Suddenly, Rey regrets telling Rose to call the national guard if she’s not physically in her presence before the clock strikes 12.

“I guess I’ll make do,” She teases.

They fall silent again, and for the second time that morning Kylo goes to say something, but falls short. The silence becomes too much for Rey to bear, so her cursed mouth opens of it on volition.

“I’m not sure how these are supposed to work… one night stands, I mean,” She admits. Something in Kylo’s face falls, but Rey can’t quite tell what.

“I don’t have much experience with these either,” he tells her. Rey shuffles onto her knees, so that they’re both eye-level, and extends her hand. Kylo looks at it with a hint of confusion mixed with amusement.

“Well, you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck. Thank you for posting,” she says, giving a mega-watt smile. He sakes her hand.

“And you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck-respondent. Thank you for critiquing my going about soliciting sex.” Rey opens her mouth in an exaggerated offense, but Kylo cuts her off with another sweet kiss.  

She melts into it, holding his hair with her hands, letting herself mold to his torso as his tongue swipes her lower lip. The kiss is wonderful and hot and sweet all at the same time and makes her head spin.

When it’s over and she’s caught her breath again, a pang of nervousness infiltrates her consciousness. It’s over, it whispers, you’ll never see him again if you don’t do anything. He’ll leave, just like everyone else, if you let him.

“Do you have any more meetings?” She practically shouts at him. Kylo looks confused for a moment, so she goes on. “I just mean… if you needed someone to help… prepare you for your meetings, there’s a chance I’d be available.” Her voice grows softer as she keeps talking, suddenly feeling like an idiot for suggesting that at all. Before she has a  chance to spiral, Kylo brings her back.

“I do… I mean, I will. That would be… very gracious of you, to offer you help.” She bites her lip to keep from smiling too hard.

“Okay, good.” She nods at him, relief washing over her as she realizes she might not be the only one who doesn’t want to let this go.

It’s a new feeling that probably shouldn’t be attached to a person whom was very clear about their desire for a no-strings hook up, but Rey has always had a preference for things that are challenging.

Kylo Ren seems as good a challenge as any.

-

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Richie and The Rabbit Hole (2)

Part 1

Summary: When everyone goes back to their lives after Pennywise, Richie doesn't. He stays in Derry and finds a portal that leads back to 1989, only a few months after the loser club "defeated" Pennywise the first time.Using the help of the younger losers, adult Richie goes back in time to fix all the wrong that Pennywise caused when he came back the second time.

Relationship: Richie/Eddie

Rating: M

Read on Archive: x

Chapter 2: The plan

All the losers are currently sitting inside the little club house that Ben built. They all have on their signature shower caps besides Richie and Eddie, who were obviously too "cool" to wear them. Beverly and Richie had called all the losers, waiting outside the club house, as future Richie paced inside, and once all the losers filed in, they looked at future Richie confusingly.

All the young losers awkwardly looked at future Richie as Beverly explained what the situation was and no this guy was not and I quote "Richie's long last dad, who Richie never knew till now, because his mom's a hoe."

“So, let me get this straight,” Ben starts, “this is Richie from the future and he wants us to fight Pennywise again, because if we don’t fight him now, he’ll come back in 27 years and kill some of us?"

“Precisely,” Beverly says and Ben nods a few times before falling onto his back with a sigh. He didn’t want to fight Pennywise again. It was bad enough that they almost died on numerous occasions, either that be going down to the sewer or almost kissing the monster itself. Ben almost pukes at the thought, remembering Pennywise as Beverly again. He wants to cry and he lets himself stay strong in order to not be embarrassed in front of crush.

Ben isn't the only one dreading the fight either, none of the losers wanted to, and it makes them all remember all their previous encounters with Pennywise again. They all hoped that it was defeated the last time and all the losers actually had just started living without constant fear that the clown was going to kill them and now, the future had already got new plans for them, literally.

“If our older selves can’t fight IT without dying, how are we supposed to?” Stanley pipes up, fear in his eyes as he starts crying, and the rest of the losers sit in silence. Beverly pats him on the back to try and reassure him, but it still doesn’t change anything.

Richie can tell they're all afraid, hell he was scared shitless when he went back to Derry a few days ago and even though he feels braver, it doesn't stop the fear from poking in. He knows he has to be strong though, for the kids, and he feels really bad, he really does, and seeing these kids cry makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

He feels sorry for them, he really does, because he knows how hard it is to be a kid, and how difficult Pennywise was in general. He just hopes this works out and doesn’t blow up in his face.

“We won,” Richie starts, “just not all of us made it and I understand the mistakes that were made. I know how to kill IT and for real this time.”

The room goes silent and Richie tries his best to think of the words to use. It honestly didn’t make much sense, how they defeated Pennywise. When he thinks about it, it seems really weird how they killed IT, but he needed to try.

“Pennywise is weak. Especially now. He ran away from you guys for a reason. He was close, but we have to go deeper, kill him where he disappeared into. After we get there, we have to remind him how small he is. We have to yell at him, be stronger than he is, tell him he’s a clown, make him feel small, so he becomes small, so that way we can grab his beating heart out of his chest and smash it.”

Richie stops there and looks intently at the other losers. None of them say anything for a moment, then younger Richie bursts into laughter.

“Yeah, okay, because calling a demonic clown a clown, the thing he purposely disguises himself as, is going to kill it. That’s genius homeless guy! Just genius!”

“Hey, I am not homeless! Far from it, I have a penthouse in California!” older Richie pipes up, because god dammit, he was not homeless! He was just gross from the sewers and overly tired.  

Young Richie smiles at him, excitement bubbling in his small body. “You do? Oh my god, did you hear that guys, I’m gonna be rich! You guys better be nice to me!”

“Beep beep Richie,” Mike says to young Richie, looking at older Richie again.

“You are being serious, right?” Mike asks and he looks scared. He doesn’t know what to believe and honestly future Richie wasn’t really sure if this was going to work, but the only way it would, would be if he could make the other losers confident.

“As serious as I’ll ever be and I never am.”

“We know,” everyone says practically in unison and younger Richie sticks his tongue at them. Some of them roll their eyes, but not Eddie, he stares at older Richie in wonder.

“What do I look like when I’m older?” Eddie asks and Richie smiles at him. He remembers Eddie again and he’s not going to lie, Eddie aged pretty well. Maybe not as well as Ben, but Eddie was undeniably attractive, and when Richie saw Eddie again for the first time, all the feelings came up like they never went away, even before he remembered everything.

“Very handsome,” Richie says, smiling at the thought, biting his lip, and Eddie fists his hand in the air with victory.

“What about me?” Ben asks and Richie wants to say, he really does, because Ben gets HOT, but then he realizes that maybe meddling with the past so much isn’t such a good idea. He’s doing enough already and he can’t have these kids expecting that their lives are going to turn out exactly as Richie says, especially when he’s lifting the curse of Pennywise.

“Okay, that’s enough with the future. I know you all want to hear about it and I really want to talk about it, but just because I tell you something is going to happen, doesn’t mean it will and I really don’t want to freak you out or make you believe your going to get something great that never comes.”

"Also-," future Richie continues, staring and pointing at past Richie. "Don't expect to make bank when your older now. You don't get anywhere without working your ass off."

Younger Richie rolls his eyes. "I know, I know," he says and then Eddie furrows his brows for a second, before looking at younger Richie.

“Wait, wait, so Richie’s mom isn’t a hoe?” Eddie asks, even though the conversation about this guy being Richie's mom was long forgotten. It even takes younger Richie a second to pick it up, but as soon as he does, he goes straight into bantering with the shorter teen.

“Oh, shut up, you know it’s the other way around. I mean, your mom is easy. I’ve already been to Mrs.K’s house today and-”

“Can you guys just shut up?” Beverly pipes up and Richie only smirks at her. “Hey, I didn’t start it, Eddie did. It’s not my fault that Eddie is jealous that me and his mom are-” Richie stops, looking at Eddie, trying to act concerned as he looks at him.

"What?" Eddie asks, confused and slightly blushing from the way that Richie was looking at him. Why did Richie stop talking in the middle of his sentence? It wasn’t like him to stop talking when no one interrupted him, but even then, he usually continues.

"You have a spider in your hair," Richie says with a smirk on his face.  

Eddie's eyes go wide in horror and he tries his best not to freak out over it. Richie was lying, obviously, he could tell by the look on his face, but that didn't stop Eddie from thinking of the 1% chance that Richie was telling the truth.

"You're lying!" Eddie yells and Richie shakes his head. "I'm not. See its right-" he cuts himself off, as he pointed to Eddie's head before tickling him.

"It's here, it's there. Oh my god Eds."

Everyone stares at them, Stan is groaning and rolling his eyes.

"Seriously guys, right now?" Beverly asks rolling her eyes and waving her hands in the air frustratingly, but young Richie doesn't stop, he keeps going, and Eddie doesn't stop laughing. He curses at Richie a little too and older Richie stares, confused, and a little concerned. Was he really that obvious and annoying when he was younger? I mean, it was kinda ridiculous. They were having a serious conversation and he just decided it was the best time to tickle his crush.

When it goes on a little too long, Beverly looks at adult Richie, giving him the eyes of 'are you gonna do something about this?'

Right , Richie was the adult, which technically meant he was in charge. Even though the only child he's ever babysat in the past 10 years was his niece and he suspected he was pretty bad at that too considering he usually buys her pizza, ice cream, and candy, then let's her stay up till 1am. Yeah, he shouldn't have kids, not without someone who's willing to raise two kids at once at least.

"Richie Thomas Tozier I swear to god if you don't stop, I'll tell Eddie you slept with his mom," older Richie says, which leaves both boys in fear, and he’s honestly surprised that it breaks them apart.

He also noticed how painfully obvious he was about his crush on Eddie and it made him cringe a little bit. Like, really? Tickling him in front of everyone? He’s 13, not 4.

"You slept with my mom!? I thought that was just a joke," Eddie asked younger Richie and older Richie shrugged.

"Yeah, we also got married. Technically your my son little Eddie Spaghetti," older Richie said, stirring the pot even more, because if one thing didn’t change over the years, it was the fact that Richie was still a trashmouth shit starter.

“What!? Your fucking with me! This isn’t funny! My mom would never-” Eddie starts screaming hesticarly and older Richie laughs.

“Yes, okay, fine, I’m joking with you,” he says quickly before Eddie really goes insane. He knows how Eddie can be and he’s not about to get him royally pissed off when they’re here on a mission.

Younger Richie pushes Eddie, “Yeah Eddie, why would I want to sleep with your mom, when I’m rich living in California sleeping with a bunch of models? I have standards.”

Older Richie chuckles at that. “Yeah, no, you definitely do not have standards,” Richie says, remembering all the horrible ex girlfriends and one night stands over his life. One time he dated a girl that quite literally had a breakdown in his penthouse, breaking the window, and he still dated her until she cheated on him.

“He never denied the hot babes,” Richie said, looking back at Eddie. “Ya jealous there Eds?”

“No, definitely not. I have standards and you don’t,” Eddie said and older Richie couldn’t help but burst into laughter yet again, shaking his head, because between the two of them, Richie might actually win on having better standards. I mean come on, Eddie basically married his mother. An overbearing, overprotective, debatable abusive lady and honestly it wasn't funny, it really wasn't, but seeing young Eddie pipe up with rage was way too funny to not continue laughing.

“What, WHAT?” Eddie yelled at him and older Richie kept cackling for a few seconds. “Nothing, nothing, we need to get back to what we were talking about. No more funny business.”

“But I didn’t start anything! Tell me why you were laughing!” Eddie yelled again and older Richie shook his head again. “Don’t worry about it kiddo. It’s noth-” he makes another giggling noise before finishing, “nothing. I promise.”

Eddie went to speak again, but Beverly looked at him sternly, as to let it go, and Eddie sighed, he didn’t want to let it go. Richie knew something he didn’t and it made him uncomfortable. Did he end up dating or marrying someone awful? Did he end up alone? Both thoughts were scary and the fact that Richie knew what he was like, who he was with or not with, bubbled him with curiosity, he’d definitely have to talk to him later.

“H-h-how many-y of us di-ee?” Bill pipes up, trying to get away from the whole bickering moment and Richie shakes his head no, because he can’t. They’ll freak out, he knows they will.

“It’s not important,” Richie says and Bill shakes his head.

“I need-d-d to know Rich-i-i-e-e.”

“Don’t worry Bill. Just know that I know we can win. None of us died after we knew what to do.” Which was true, no one did die after that, but even so, Eddie still died in the process, at the spur of the moment. Richie couldn’t guarantee that even if he knew how to kill Pennywise, that it would actually work. He’s not sure if only Eddie dying was supposed to be bad luck or good luck. They all could die, and then what? He would have killed all the losers, because Richie was selfish and thought he was stronger than what he actually was.

Richie didn’t want to think of that possibility and he wouldn’t, because he wouldn’t let that happen. Pennywise was weak now and it was the perfect moment to strike, it had to be. This was fate giving him a second chance and he wouldn't waste it.

Bill nodded, because he understood that any loss was something. Even if it was just one, it was a big enough reason to fight. Pennywise even taking one more kid, even if they were random, was enough rage fuel for Bill to want to fight.

“Why here-e-e. Wh-y-y now? What-t-t about George Georg-ie?” Bill asks and Richie shrugs.

“I’m not sure, all I know is I was taken here at this time. I had no control over it and I’m just dealing with what I got.”

Bill nods, looking down, because he really wants to save Georgie. If this is all real and this guy is Richie from the future. If time travel exists, he wants to save Georgie too.

Richie knows Bill well enough to know what he’s thinking about and he doesn’t want to break Bill’s heart. He really doesn’t, because it’s not fair that he can come back to save Stanely and Eddie, but not Georgie. Georgie never even got to grow up and Bill loves Georgie, blames himself partially for Georgie's death.  Bill has suffered and all Richie can do is put his hand on Bill’s back for a second, giving it a pat and telling him “I’m sorry Bill, I really am, but I’m not even supposed to be here right now and I don't even know how much time I have. I honestly stumbled in the past without understanding what was going on or how it happened.”

Bill nods, tears well in his eyes and fuck , Richie felt bad, he really did, but he was right. He wasn’t supposed to be here and he didn’t even know how time traveling worked or even if killing IT with the younger losers back before Georgie got killed would even do anything.

“We need to go, tonight,” Richie says, “I’m not sure if time traveling has a time limit or not and I’m not about to find out.”

The rest of the losers nodded, sadness in their eyes as they stared out into open space, because IT wasn’t dead and IT had killed some of them. Pennywise had killed some of them when they were adults; older, stronger, wiser, and it made them all the more scared, because Richie didn’t need to tell them that Pennywise was more than what he was when they hurt him mere months ago, even if he was weak. Killing Pennywise for good was going to be a task and one wrong move could not only kill them all, but change the future forever.

What if this was Pennywise? Older Richie thought. Going through the portal. Like, what if because Pennywise is dead in my timeline, that when he died, he implanted something in my brain when I was in the deadlights to time travel and give himself a second chance?

Okay, maybe he was over analyzing the situation, but the paranoia was real. Pennywise could have.

But thoughts like that wouldn’t get him anywhere. He just really needs something to eat and sleep, but the sleep part was a little harder to take care of with the questionable time he had. God, this has been the weirdest week of his life.

“I have tasks for you all and I want you to meet me back here in an hour, okay?”

The losers nodded and Richie stood up, pointing at the losers one by one.

“Mike, I need you to get that weird gun thing. Bill I need you to grab some matches and a torch. Beverly and Ben, I need you to get some spears, maybe steal some from that fence at the creepy house. Eddie, I need you to get a first aid kit. Richie, I need you to grab the hunting gun from your dad’s gun case.”

“YOU WANT ME TO WHAT!?” Younger Richie yells and older Richie pats him on the shoulder

“It’ll be fine, dad should be at work right now, so it’s not like he’ll notice.”

“But I need the key and how am I supposed to hide it? It’s fucking huge and if a cop stops me, I don’t know what I’ll tell them!” He whines and older Richie shrugs.

“Figure it out and stop being a pussy. Are you really more afraid of your dad then a killer clown, who I've told you have killed your friends?”

Younger Richie sighed, “Okay, fine, you win! Stop making me look like a jackass!”

“You do that to yourself,” Stan says and young Richie glares at him.

“Well, at least I came back for you guys in the future! Remember that when you’re 40 and not fucking dead!” Young Richie yells and right, future Richie had one more loser to conduct and he knew exactly what he needed.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he says pointing at Stan. “Could you get me something to eat? I’m starving and I haven’t eaten all day and-”

“Yeah, okay, I got it,” Stan says in a huff, before walking out the clubhouse. Once he does, so does everybody else, and young Richie doesn’t stop complaining.

It makes older Richie realize how much of a little shit he was. He’s not gonna lie, he kinda loves and hates the younger version of himself, which he guesses is good, considering most people are at their lowest in middle school, and Richie hasn’t strangled himself yet.

Older Richie sighes, waiting for the younger losers to come back, and he thinks again, or as much as he can with a painfully empty stomach.

What was he supposed to do? Take the young losers down to the sewers with these make-do weapons and wing it?

Yeah, he was probably going to do that. He didn’t know of any other plan. He just had to be ready for anything. It is Pennywise after all and they had a plan last time, which didn’t work. Plus, they sorta had a plan. They had to be ��mean” to Pennywise in order to kill IT and they knew they had to take out it’s heart, pull it part. They had a plan. The same plan that they found out on a whim after Eddie got stabbed.

They could do this. They had to. Richie won’t be able to live with himself otherwise.

....

First to come back is Stan. He’s got a hot dog in hand and a glass of water in the other. It’s not much, but honestly Richie was too hungry to care. He scarfed it down almost immediately after it’s handed to him. Stan doesn’t say anything, he just steps back and sits.

They stay silent for awhile, but since Richie was starving and thirsty, he finishes what he has quickly. It leaves the two alone in silence and Richie has kind of always been bad with silence.

“So, like...”Richie starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. How do you talk to teens again? He feels creepy if he’s being honest, but hey, technically Stan was the same age as him. Technically. It reminds him that he’s never actually got to talk to the older version of Stan. Never got to see the face of the man who he once called his best friend. Boy is that weird.

Stan was his best friend and not only had he forgotten about him, but he died. He never even had the chance to help Stan out of killing himself. He remembers how much of a pussy he thought Stan was for not showing up, until he found out that Stanley literally killed himself, because of his fear. He gulped at the thought and it seems that younger Stan seems to notice.

“I die, don’t I?” Stan asks when Richie can’t seem to find words and he still doesn’t know what to say, because he wants to keep it all a secret. He doesn’t want to scare Stanley more than he already is. He pauses, waits a few seconds, before trying to cover up the fact that Stan was right.

“Of course you don’t Stanely, what gave you that-”

“It’s obvious, alright? I’m the weakest link. I’m so scared Richie. I don’t want to do this. Please just let me die at 40. If I died at 40, I mean that’s a long fulfilling life isn’t it?”

Richie shakes his head and he wants so bad to take the pain away. He can’t stand that Stan would feel this way.

“No, Stan, listen, you’re braver than you think, alright? And I know you don’t believe me, but you are and more than one of us die. Who it is doesn’t matter. All that you need to know is that if we stick together and be brave, we can defeat IT. I know we can, but I need everyone on board.”

Stan shakes his head. “I can’t Richie, I can’t,” he’s crying again and Richie sighes, he can save Stanley, he knows he can.

“You can. You can. You’re just afraid, but believe me, they all are. Some of them are just better at hiding it. I promise you that 13 year old me is probably sitting in his room sobbing and sucking his thumb right now.”

Stan’s still crying, but it seems to get better, because he’s not really making any noises anymore and he furrows his brows.

“Wait, do you actually suck your thumb?”

Older Richie shrugs, “not anymore, but yeah, when I'm really nervous. It’s more of biting on the tip of my finger, okay? Don’t think too hard about it.”

Stan chuckles a little and he starts to feel better. Not a lot better, but a little. Everyone seems so confident and brave, while Stanely feels like he’s about to die from the nerves before they even take a step back into the sewers.

Older Richie looks back at him, smiling, because Stanely had always had low self esteem. Always thought little of himself, but he was so much more than that and Richie is just glad that in this moment, that they were here together, and they were alright.

Silence brews for a few minutes, before Beverly and Ben burst through the door with fence post spears from the house on Neibolt street. They have two each and Beverly hands one to adult Richie. He grips it firmly in hands, trying not to get another PTSD attack. He takes a deep breath, watching as Ben gives a spear to Stan too. He hesitates, but he takes one too.

Almost as suddenly as Stan takes the spear, Eddie comes in, then a few minutes pass before Mike comes, then Bill, and lastly young Richie, who grumbles in annoyance, as he hands adult Richie the gun, grabbing for the spear.

They all look at each other for a moment. None of them speak, not even one of the Richies. Ben only hands his other spear to Bill and with fire in his eyes, Bill says “what are we waiting for?” without a hesitation or stutter in his voice.

Older Richie smiles. “Let’s kill this fucking clown,” he says and the other losers smile, getting up and out of the clubhouse.

...

As they walked to the house, young Richie and Eddie bickered behind the group, as adult Richie lead, trying to keep his cool, as he led the losers to their possible deaths.

He wants to puke and he feels it come up a little bit, but he chokes it down. He was an adult and if he faltered, showed that he was scared, the rest of the group would get scared too.

They needed to be brave to win, mainly adult Richie needed to be brave for the rest of them if he wanted them all to live. If he wanted an even slight chance of seeing adult Eddie again and adult Stanley for the first time.

Richie took a deep breath as they approached the house and he didn't even look back, when he walked past the fence, up the stairs, and to the door. He opened it without hesitation, because for once in Richie's life, he felt brave.

Everything of the past week has led to this moment and he had played a thousand scenarios in his head of how the death of Pennywise could have went. Ones where Eddie would have lived and recently, of the younger losers helping him.

He could do this, he could, they were going to win, and Richie would do anything to make sure that it happened.

Eddie's adult form takes place in his mind again and usually he'd get sad not soon after the thought popped up, but now, he felt happy and determined instead.

When they walked inside the house, nothing out of the ordinary popped up. They walked through the house, surprisingly unharmed or bothered. They made their way to the well and the sewers. The spot they fought Pennywise last time looked exactly the same and for a second, the losers thought that maybe, just maybe, that the clown wasn’t here.

“Are we sure that the clown is here?” Mike asked future Richie and that had never even occurred to him, but he had to be right? He was just sleeping or at least that’s what Pennywise made it seem like he did.

“He’s here,” older Richie said, “he’s probably just caught off guard or is possibly waiting for a sneak attack.”

Which was probably true. Honestly, future Richie wasn’t 100% sure that Pennywise was here, but he didn’t know where else he would be. He was taking a chance, but he couldn’t let the younger losers know that.

So, he looked down into the hole and he knew where he was about to go. He was about to dive deeper into the rabbit hole. He feels like he did that once today, but this one is different. The pantry was the rabbit hole that led to a different time, in this rabbit hole, he was about to dive deep into a different world, hell.

Pennywise was bound to show the losers all their greatest fears, but Richie wasn’t afraid anymore. Richie wasn’t even afraid to die. He’s seen his biggest fears come to life and nothing is worse than losing the people that matter most to you.

That’s happened twice in his life, from this clown, and honestly, he didn’t have much to lose, and he knew that Pennywise could be defeated.

Underneath it all, he was just a clown anyways.

A stupid clown.

With that thought on the tip of his mind, he started climbing down, falling down, falling down, the rabbit hole again.

[thefilmsnob]

Glen Coco’s Top 10 films of 2019

2019 was one of the better movie years I’ve experienced. It was no 2007 or 2013--we all know that--but it was pretty damn good. People who say ‘they just make crap nowadays’ probably aren’t really into movies and are definitely out to lunch. Dammit, now I want lunch. Anyway, here are my picks for the ten best films of 2019 which, as always, follow my runners-up and the traditional bonus track...There’s always a bonus track. 

Runners-Up

-Bombshell

-Booksmart Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/185427895290/booksmart-out-of-5

-Ford v Ferrari

-The Irishman

-Joker Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/188571262775/joker-out-of-5

-Parasite

-The Peanut Butter Falcon

-The Two Popes

And here are my top 10!

#10b. (Bonus Track) Avengers: Endgame

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, the rest of Hollywood

Maybe, like some people in the industry, you don’t consider Marvel films to be ‘cinema’. Well, that’s a legitimate and long debate for another time. But, you can’t say that weaving a narrative through 22 related films isn’t an impressive feat. That’s what Marvel Studios did and with the help of the Russo Brothers, and despite the countless moving pieces, they ended this chapter of the franchise almost perfectly with just the right balance of action, human drama, twists, turns and some surprisingly poignant moments. If you didn’t get goosebumps--and maybe even pee your pants a bit--when those portals opened up at the end, bringing to mind Gandolf’s triumphant entrance into the Battle of Helm’s Deep, then maybe movies just aren’t for you, my friend. 

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184694412545/avengers-endgame-out-of-5

#10. Marriage Story

Director: Noah Baumbach

Starring: Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson

Ironically, Marriage Story is actually about a divorce. But, writer/director Noah Baumbach imbues this civil-turned-nasty separation with all the complexity and aggravation that come with being married with child. He treats the divorce like the grueling process you’d expect it to be, one which involves real, flawed people whose needs and desires don’t align, making the situation increasingly distressing for all parties involved. In turn, Driver and Johansson make this distress increasingly palpable for the audience until it feels like we’re in the room with them during one of their several heated arguments. Both actors give some of the best work of their careers, yet it still may be overshadowed by Laura Dern and Ray Liotta who shine as the two ruthless lawyers representing them. Baumbach has been churning out these gems for years, but his latest, which may be his most accessible, may also be his best so far. 

#9. Jojo Rabbit

Director: Taika Waititi

Starring: Roman Griffin Davis, Thomasin McKenzie, Scarlett Johansson

What do you get when you mix Nazi Germany, the ghost of Hitler and a poor Jewish girl trying to survive the second World War? You get one of the funniest and most touching movies of the year, of course. The surging writer/actor/director Taika Waititi, who specializes in quirky films filled with quirkier characters, hasn’t made the typically grim melodrama about Nazi Germany nor is he doing anything close to promoting Nazi culture. Instead, he uses the tale of a young boy who attends a Hitler Youth training camp to highlight the absurdity of this horrible movement while promoting tolerance. He delivers this powerful message by introducing a young Jewish girl who seeks refuge in the home of Jojo and his mother, played by Scarlett Johansson (who clearly had a good year). This leads to Jojo’s crisis of conscience which is complicated by his imaginary friend...who happens to be Adolf Hitler! Yes, the movie is different.

#8. Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie

It’s no surprise that Quentin Tarantino would make a film about 1960s Hollywood starring one of the most prestigious celebrity trios in the business; the guy’s passion--obsession even--for film is unmatched. Here, he uses the medium to take a horrific moment in history like the murder of Sharon Tate at the hands of the Manson Family and gives it the stereotypical Hollywood happy ending. In doing so, he showcases the wish fulfillment of the movies and their power to comfort us with optimism while simultaneously warning of their ability to shelter us from our cruel reality. DiCaprio and Pitt give brilliant performances as characters who add to the perception-vs-reality theme, DiCaprio playing the huge movie star full of anxiety and doubt in real life who relies heavily on his stunt double, Pitt, who’s the actual confident hero. All this and much more takes place in a meticulously recreated Hollywood of the ‘60s that sweeps you up in nostalgia and immerses you in a world of make-believe.

#7. Knives Out

Director: Rian Johnson

Starring: Ana de Armas, Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer 

Yes, there have been many murder mysteries. No, Knives Out isn’t just like the rest of them. Writer/director Rian Johnson does a masterful job at crafting a labyrinthine story that’s just complex enough without overwhelming and strikes a perfect balance of suspense and comedy. Featuring one of the greatest casts assembled in 2019 playing a dysfunctional family of despicable yet intriguing individuals of means, the story is full of truly surprising twists and turns and, more crucially, some well-integrated and astute social commentary. This isn’t a two-hour lecture, though; the film is undeniably entertaining. The stand-out here is detective Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig with a delightful southern drawl and an attention to detail that rivals Sherlock Holmes. Craig transcends his James Bond persona while the film itself transcends a genre. 

#6. 1917

Director: Sam Mendes

Starring: George MacKay, Dean-Charles Chapman

If this were a few years ago 1917 would be, without question, my #1 pick. However, as the long, uncut tracking shot has become more common over the years, it’s also lost a bit of its luster; 2014′s Birdman, one of the best films of the decade, also had the appearance of a single take. Nonetheless, to make a war film, with all its tricky choreography and pyrotechnics, look like one long take is still a phenomenal achievement and an absolute marvel to behold. And, although it obviously couldn’t be filmed in one shot, Sam Mendes and master cinematographer Roger Deakins still had to shoot long takes and stitch them together digitally while stealthily hiding the seams. It all helps tell the story of two young soldiers tasked with traversing treacherous territory to warn a Battalion of British soldiers about an impending German ambush. We follow the pair in real time amidst a story of remarkable bravery, enhanced by the fact that we’re with them every step of the way, at once experiencing everything they do up close while being reminded of how removed we really are from the danger they face.

#5. Uncut Gems

Director: Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin Garnett (hey, why not?), Julia Fox

There are several talented actors in Hollywood who’ve gained a bad reputation for poor career choices. Ben Affleck and Will Smith come to mind. Perhaps the king of this group is Adam Sandler. He’s excelled sporadically in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories, but he gives a truly Oscar-worthy performance in this--ahem--gem. As Howard Ratner, he’s a gambling addict who runs a jewelry store in New York’s Diamond district when he gets his hands on a rare Ethiopian black opal which he hopes will help pay off his many debts. In fact, he owes so much to so many people that he struggles to keep track of it all and we cringe every time he does. The tension builds to an almost unbearable level as a host of dangerous men seek payment. If that’s not enough, he’s on the verge of a divorce as he continues seeing a mistress who’s also his employee while owing $100 000 to his own criminal brother-in-law. If you were stressed just reading that, try watching the movie...or being Howard himself. The Safdie brothers don’t let up either, filming it like a documentary to add to its realism and immediacy...as if it needed that extra boost.     

#4. The Lighthouse

Director: Robert Eggers

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe

The first thing you notice watching The Lighthouse is that half the screen is missing; Robert Eggers, who also wrote and directed The Witch, shot the film with a 1.19: 1 aspect ratio, making the picture square, like an old-timey photograph. It feels limiting at first until you fully appreciate the feelings of confinement and anxiety it evokes. That’s important in a film about two lighthouse keepers, or wickies, who are forced to live together in insanely grungy and cramped quarters of a lighthouse on a remote island off the coast of New England. Considering the harsh conditions and the fact it’s a horror film, they soon clash and seemingly lose their grip on reality which manifests in macabre images and supernatural occurrences. Or does it? Ha! This is one of the most unique and beautifully filmed movies of the year with the grainy black and white 35mm making it seem like it was made closer to the late 19th century, when the film takes place. Like many recent horror films, this one relies more on mood and imagery than jump scares and is buttressed by only two actors who give award-worthy performances. Alright? So, go to hell; Pattinson can act.

#3. Little Women

Director: Greta Gerwig

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Florence Pugh, Emma Watson, Timothee Chalamet, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern

You might assume that Little Women is a stuffy period piece and even unnecessary considering it’s the seventh adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s iconic 1868 novel, but the prodigious actor-turned-writer-turned-director Greta Gerwig is too adept in her craft to settle for conventional story-telling. She gives this classic story a fresh, modern take with a non-linear approach and a feminist angle that enhances without overwhelming. Like her work on Lady Bird, she keeps scenes brisk and to the point with decisive cuts. She also adds her unique wit and snappy dialogue. Every conversation, no matter how superficial, leaves you enraptured. So, too, do the characters; it’s a pleasure following these complex girls through the ups and downs of their lives as women of little means and even fewer rights. They’re portrayed by a stellar cast, particularly Jo March who’s played by Saoirse Ronan, perhaps our greatest sub-30 actress. This may be a little movie about little women, but the payoffs and sheer enjoyment are truly grand.   

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/190231754125/little-women-12-out-of-5

#2. Us

Director: Jordan Peele

Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke 

I know it’s blasphemous, but I might be the only person on Earth who not only thought Get Out was a tad overrated, but that Jordan Peele’s second feature, Us, is the superior picture. It’s easy to look at this film as merely a unique take on the slasher genre, but it’s so much more than that. Like any good horror, it’s creepy as hell, but it’s also brimming with foreshadowing, symbolism and metaphor. There are three or four ideas that Peele sets up at the beginning that seem disconnected to the story, yet they each have a specific purpose and when that becomes evident, it’s incredibly satisfying. Even more impressive is how Peele turns a movie about a vacationing family encountering their doppelgangers into a brilliant commentary on the current state of America, specifically in regards to class division and its relation to the Nature vs Nurture debate. And the movie’s neat twist at the end isn’t just added for shock value; it’s actually the final puzzle piece and essential in conveying the film’s message. I struggled with ranking Us at #1 or #2, but its over-reliance on slasher film action around the mid-point (a minor flaw) was the deciding factor. It’s near-perfect, nonetheless.

Full Film Interpretation: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184073868405/interpreting-jordan-peeles-film-us

#1. Midsommar

Director: Ari Aster

Starring: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper, Will Poulter

If there’s one thing for which the 2010s should be known, it’s great horror films, a refreshing development after decades of mediocrity. But, just like movies in general from the ‘New Hollywood’ ‘70s, horror films are more creative and ambitious than they’ve been in ages thanks to a handful of visionary filmmakers. Three out of the top five entries are horror movies and that’s saying something.

Midsommar is a mesmerizing horror film that hearkens back to the 1970s when the genre relied more heavily on atmosphere and pacing and sheer creepiness than on jump scares and gimmicks. It takes one hell of a talented writer/director to make a movie shot almost entirely in daylight feel so utterly sinister, but Ari Aster, who also made the acclaimed Hereditary, does just that with ease. What’s more, the film contains no monsters, nothing supernatural and an astonishingly minimal amount of violence, yet when we do see bits of blood and gore, it’s a complete shock to the system. What Aster does rely on is his mastery of lighting and framing to produce images that are unexpectedly eerie.

This is a movie that starts with a group of anthropology students looking to take part in a once-in-a-lifetime festival at a commune in the Swedish countryside and ends in an unspeakable nightmare. It’s a long and sometimes grueling experience that steadily snowballs into horror, but that slow burn is crucial for this delightfully nerve-wracking series of events. Oh, and it’s also a breakup story...possibly the scariest breakup story of all time. It’s certainly the best film of 2019.     

[boneshine]

Close Call

Pairing: Benjamin Clawhauser / Chief Bogo

Rating: M

Summary: Bogo confiscates Clawhauser’s phone in order to make him more productive at work. Established relationship. Post-Movie.

Warning: NSFW! Details under the cut!

Part Four/Five

--

Warning: This is a NSFW story, although the adult content does not really begin until Part Five. That being said, this is still an M-rated story, so read at your own smut-loving risk.

--

The bed was warm, the blankets soft and plentiful as they wrapped around Clawhauser’s peacefully snoozing form. His paws kneaded at the air; a quiet purr nestled in the back of his throat. He was roused a bit at the sound of a door opening and shutting, but he drifted slowly back down into his dreams as the silky warmth and the scent of wheatgrass and his lover’s musky cologne kept his consciousness at bay—

EEGH EEGH EEGH!!!

The wailing, strangled beeps of Bogo’s alarm clock stabbed into the feline’s ear, his body jerked back and flailed, his world twisting around him as he fell off the bed.

“ACK!”

His heart pounding, head aching, Clawhauser could still hear the tell-tale chuckle wash over him.

“Works every time.”

Eyes squinted open in irritation, the cheetah’s frazzled form struggled to climb back into the bed, immediately deflating and flattening back into the sheets, his face slowly becoming more and more acquainted with the pillow as sleep tried to coax him back. “Vin-n-n-cenpphh…”

“Good morning, Ben.” He didn’t even need to look to know that Bogo was already up, showered, dressed in his uniform, fur groomed, and impeccably ready for the day before the cheetah had even opened both eyes. A hoof ran down his back, making the smaller’s round body instinctively raise itself in an arch at the welcoming touch, only to flop back down in exhaustion. “I said ‘good morning’, Ben. That means you need to actually get up.”

“Ugh…”

“On all fours, at least.”

Clawhauser’s ears perked. “Ooh.”

“Not like THAT.”

“Aw.”

The feline grumbled but heard something slosh in front of his face, the scent of berries filling his nose. His tail curled as his eyes open to spot a bowl of cereal in Bogo’s hoof, already poured and ready for him. “Lucky Chomps!”

“Indecipherably nutritious.”

He sat up and snuggled back into the pillows as he heaped spoonful after spoonful into his mouth with glee, stopping only to give his boyfriend a big milky kiss on his cheek. “Thaaanks, honey!” he chimed.

Bogo wiped his face. “Finish up and maybe we can get to work on time?”

“Three more bowls and I’m right behind you.”

--

The morning, while early and vastly unpleasant due to said earliness, had left Clawhauser in a considerably better mood. It wasn’t every day that he got to spend the night and the morning with his beloved Buffalo Buns, lounging with cereal and the occasional lingering touch from him as he stumbled around to get ready for work. However, as they drove in to the precinct, the cheetah recalled with a growing annoyance that he had another boring day without his phone ahead of him.

How did I forget that my boyfriend was such a jerk? I’m such a sucker for morning cuddles…

It didn’t help that Bogo seemed to recall it as well, and the expression on his face was a smug, amused contrast to the normally-bubbly feline’s pout.

“Don’t look so glum, Ben,” he spoke as they strolled to his desk, “It’s just one more day, you know.”

“It’ll be the worst day of my life,” he groused, climbing into his seat and already sulking.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. You’ll have much worse days than this.”

“… Gee, I really appreciate that!”

Bogo smirked. “Maybe this will help you change your outlook.” He leaned in, dangerously close considering it was a public space, and Clawhauser looked around uncertainly before he was drawn back to rich brown eyes and that handsome face. “I’ve decided to add something to our little bet.”

The feline sputtered. "More rules?! Wh—Vinc— Chief, I'm already chained to my desk! What more can you ask for?!"

"Nothing like that. It's a perk, really. And since you'll be tethered to your desk the rest of the day, I thought that perhaps some incentive will help keep you on track."

“Incentive?”

A warm hoof landed on his paw, trailing up his arm to graze the edge of a flickering ear. All the while, that salacious smirk only grew as he stared into wide eyes.

“Think about it. What motivates a Clawhauser?”

“… Doughnuts.”

Bogo’s smirk fell. “And… what else… ?”

It took only a second, and the cheetah’s mouth fell open in understanding. “Oh-h-h-h!” Another moment, and his eyes sparkled. “Ooo-o-o-o-o, I’m gonna get some--!” he squealed, muffled as his mouth was immediately covered with a hoof, the buffalo now glancing around suspiciously.

"Not outside of the office," he grit out.

Clawhauser couldn't stop a giggle, prying off his hoof from his grin. "Save the magic for the show, right?"

“There will be no show.”

“You’re such a prude at work, you know that?”

“I’m professional.”

The younger quirked a furry brow at him. “Mm-hmm… Okay, Mr. Shoulder-Touch-and-Ear-Grope-and-Sensual-Whispering-and--”

“Clawhauser.”

“… Sex-Promise.”

--

Of course, he took the incentive. Why wouldn’t he? It would be at least a decent reward for the hell that his boyfriend was making him go through.

Besides, it would only be six more hours, right?

The feline’s bored gaze was trained on his computer, holding back a sigh as he refreshed the page for the hundredth time to see if any new reports had popped up to deal with. Sadly, nothing. And he had five hours and 15 more minutes to go and he was literally going to go insane--

“Um, Ben?”

The cheetah jumped, blinking from the screen daze as he leaned over the desk to see the familiar face of a bunny staring up at him, gasping. "Judy!" Boy, was he glad to see her, obvious by his wide and excited smile. A distraction! And also, his dear friend! But mostly, right now, a distraction! "How's it going, my bunny from another mummy?"

"Fine, fine..." Judy seemed to hesitate, a rare expression on her velvety visage. "It's just that... I haven't gotten a text from you since the Molencia call." Her ears tilted back in worry. "Did I upset you somehow?"

Aww! Cute! Cute! Cute! "No, no! Of course not, cutie-- Judy," he corrected quickly at her narrowed look. "You're fabulous as always. It's something completely out of my control, believe me. I'm being punished. Bogo confiscated my phone to teach me a lesson."

"Oh." The bunny blinked and cracked a small smile. "Is it a... good lesson?"

"Huh?"

She wriggled her eyebrows. "You know... the kind that some couples do... I've heard..."

The implication in her tone was not lost on him, and his skin immediately burned under his fur. "Whaaat?! N-No! He's just trying to teach me to focus on my job! O-M-Goodness, Judes! Where did that come from?!"

Judy giggled. "Hey, I'm a bunny. I come from a family of over two-hundred siblings. I know this stuff."

"I thought that you didn't like to use those stereotypes!"

"... Nick MAY be influencing me more than I thought," she mumbled.

 Knew it! Clawhauser hid his own grin and covered it with an indignant huff. "Any-who, I'm stuck at my desk until the end of my shift..." He suddenly leaned over, startling the small rabbit. "So-o-o-o how's about you stay here and chat with me for a while? Maybe an hour or two? It's been a slow crime week, hasn't it? You can spare the time!"

His enthusiasm seemed to set her back. "Oh... Well, actually, I got a text from Nick about some 'former friends' that may be linked to that stolen car ring we've been working on." She grinned. "We get to be part of the stakeout! Six A.M. sharp!"

Bunnies were such morning creatures; it was almost nauseating. "Fan... tastic?"

"I know! So, I'm afraid that I'll have to cut our talk short. Like, right now," the bunny was already turned to begin leaving, her paw up in farewell. "Good luck, Ben!"

Panic filled the cheetah. "Wait! No! I can't leave my desk! Don't leave, Judy! I need to talk! Just stay a little longer, please!"

"Can't hear you, too pumped!"

"Judy, no! Judy, don't go through the door, no! I need contact from the outside world! No-o-o-o..." he moaned out and slumped against the desk as the doors slid shut behind her. "My bunny beacon of hope..."

"Clawhauser!" A voice boomed from above.

The cheetah jolted and gawked up in confusion. "What?!"

Bogo's expression seemed less stern, but he pointed to his door regardless. "In my office!"

The cheetah stared. Was he serious? "I haven't left!" he blurted out.

The chief rolled his eyes. "Just get up here!"

--

There was no hiding the irritated stomp the feline had and Clawhauser huffed as he walked into the office. "Let's get one thing clear, okay?" he started. "I want it on the record that this does NOT count as me losing the bet because YOU ordered me up here for who-knows-what reason and--"

As soon as the door shut behind him, he was pressed against it.

Soft lips covered his in a sudden kiss, a hoof grasping the back of his head like the shirtless hunk on his favorite romance novel cover.

Clawhauser's bewilderment immediately turned to joy, and his eyes sparkled before closing and returning the kiss with enthusiasm.

Surprise hanky-panky? Thanky!

The hot, heavy weight of his lover was pressed into his body and he purred wildly, paws kneading strong shoulders as the feline clung to the older male. Yes! This was a fantastic way to kill a few hours (which was NOT an exaggeration as he recalled other, ahem, 'meetings' like this) and to keep his mind off that stupid bet! After all that teasing his chief had done, he could use some relief. He licked at his boyfriend's soft muzzle, urging him to continue--

But Bogo pulled his mouth back, and used it to smirk at the dazed form, still pressing him against the wall.

"You'll get the rest tomorrow."

The words were like a splash of cold water and Clawhauser's pants faded as he blinked. "Come again?"

"Sorry. Not yet."

"... What?" A hiss.

The mounting anger on his lover seemed to please the buffalo. "That was just a taste. You didn't think I'd let you get away with more than that today? The bet isn't over."

"Wh-- You just..." Clawhauser's body squirmed frantically, fangs bared. "You can't keep DOING this to me!"

His paws were held and restrained by one hoof; his struggles worthless.

“I haven’t done anything to you.” The humor in the chief’s voice was infuriating. “And I won’t until after the bet is over. That’s the point, Ben.”

"No!” he hissed again, “No, this—this is unacceptable! Absolutely not! You already took away one toy! And THEN you have the AUDACITY to dangle my favorite one in my face and take it away before I get to play with it!" the smaller snarled and struggled to reach his lover's trousers, claws ready to rip fabric open, but they barely wiggled in the buffalo’s iron grip. "Just a quickie! It’s the least you can do!"

“Actually,” his body was lifted and twirled around to face the door, with a fond pat on his sizable rump to end the contact as Bogo returned to his desk, “the least I can do is nothing. And that’s exactly what’s happening. Until. The bet. Is over,” the chief hummed.

Several things ran through the feline. Anger. Indignation. Incredible horniness.

Oh, he was going to PAY!

His eyes were almost slits as he managed out, "I have half a mind to deny you for a week!" He bit back a growl, already at the door. He tried to adjust certain things before he swung the entrance open.

"The other half seems to disagree, then," came his boyfriend’s sly response.

"Oh, no! Believe me, the rest will follow when blood flow returns to my brain, you big buff jerk!"

--

It was the first moment of the entire day that Clawhauser was glad he couldn't leave his desk. He shifted and grumbled as his arousal slowly faded into a dull throb. It had been difficult enough trying to ease back down the stairs without alerting anyone to his 'condition.'

He is going to make it up to me so hard... Oh, cripes, hard... He cursed at himself, only to sigh as the landline rang.

Five. More. Hours. Left.

Hello, sex life? Sorry, you've been canceled.

[tumblunni]

...i have never been less hype and i hate it

i feel really guilty for not being happy when i mean these games are very pretty and all but all of it just seems to not be grabbing my happy when i got myself SO HYPED for the unlikelihood of something better

like man COME ON

come on man

TWELVE YEARS

almost 13!

sinnoh was fuckin due for a remake back when sun and moon got announced

ive been getting hype and dissappointed at every single goddamn announcement nintendo’s ever made for the last 4 years or so and it never happens and yet they keep teasing it why are there so many official tweets teasing sinnoh if its not fuckin happening im starting to lose hope that it will happen EVER

twelve. fucking. years.

like man we’re almost due for a goddamn unova remake by now!

like man fucking kanto got TWO REMAKES already

like man SINNOH IS THE REGION THAT MOST ACTUALLY NEEDS A REMAKE

its not just im nostalgic its that i want desperately for the generation i love to get any goddamn recognition at all. fuckin gold and silver were already beloved as the best generation even before their remake. ruby and sapphire got some unfair hate for the no transfer between games thing but that died immediately after the first remake happened. neither of them were in this unique situation where they were fuckin DEAD ON ARRIVAL and waiting TWELVE YEARS for resuscitation!

sinnoh failed ENTIRELY not on its lack of appeal as a generation but because of goddamn CONSOLE LIMITATIONS

it was slow, it was buggy, it had buddy green brown palettes, the wifi didnt work. all problems with it being an experimental first ds game by the company. it was fuckin HATED as the WORST GENERATION for so many years and it wasnt its goddamn fault and like seriously its only even become TOLERATED again because of this ‘sinnoh confirmed’ meme that NINTENDO FUCKIN REFERENCES AS IF THEYRE GONNA ACTUALLY DO IT ANY TIME IN THE NEXT DAMN DECADE

fuck i was more hyped for lets go than i am for this. like a second kanto remake was the thing i hated the most but at least it seemed original enough with the goofy new minigame for catching and loads of nice reveals like the return of following pokemon and stuff. this trailer didnt really say anything except hey its a new region hey the starters look generic as fuck. nothing to mitigate the dissappointment

and i feel AWFUL cos i know rationally that this is a great pretty game and nothing about it is actually bad yet and my only complaint is that i only like one out of three starters when i felt the same way about sinnoh itself. its just that feeling ‘meh its probably okay’ isnt what i hoped for. i hoped even if it wasnt what i wanted itd be something else equally as hype? just ‘meh’ has turned into ‘oh god no’ cos man ive been up for 48 hours getting hype for this shit why the fuck am i unable to not get hype even though i KNOW every goddamn time its a dissappointment and it has been for years and it will continue to be every goddamn time

like the highlight of the video was ‘oh an underground area maybe at least theyll bring back the sinnoh underground minigame in another country’

also.. uhh.. bags? i like the protagonist designs a lot and im happy to have the hiker bags cos srsly if i was in pokemon world i would absolutely want to go 100% ham in all ways possible AS YOU CAN SEE BY HOW I CONSTANTLY GET MYSELF TOO HYPED AND ALWAYS DISSAPPOINT MYSELF

and GOD i know im being predictable and i know that probably when i let the grumpiness wear off and get a few hours of sleep i’ll rewatch this and actually be able to notice all the lil details and get properly hype about things and probably by then we’ll know what country its meant to be based on and more info and stuff. like LOL i almost had a heart attack when there was some generally industrial looking stuff and a big ben esque clock tower like im sorry no i REALLY dont want poke-britain even though im british. its like the most cliche generic idea for a region and following on from a great region that gave representation to a nation historically mistreated by britain and america im kinda like hey can we not. like britain region was everyone’s immediate idea for the next ‘white region’ after unova happened and i was still dissappointed that we got france after that and pleasantly surprised that theyd even THINK of doing a non-white western country like hawaii! and it was really great and had loads of stuff based on hawaiian culture and even taught you some hawaiian words and local foods and stuff!! i dont wanna learn about my own country through the sanitized false ‘child friendly’ idea of us being all knights and stuff AS IF IT WAS A GOOD THING. So yeah im not sure what other european country this might be, the outfits make me say possibly holland? but im just real glad that someone other than britain gets to be ‘sword and shield’ and the only british representation we get is thematic elements being used for the design of team plasma’s uniforms. yes thank you we were fuckin colonialist pigs please never glorify our military ever again in any fiction. please never put a sword anywhere near fiction britain unless youre ready to talk about how many indigenous cultures we slaughtered. SORRY IM KINDA GOING OFF ON ONE!! im not like ‘never put my country in pokemon ever’ but if theres any form of specifically HISTORICAL CONTENT in the pokemon version then HOO BOY it would need to be handled carefully and the name sword and shield does not bode well for that so FUCK YES please be holland, please be the other place that has a lot of picturesque farm scenery and also better hiking and also literally everything. it cant be britain cos if it was britain we’d definately have a fuckin sheep or somethin for a starter. srsly tho i am very confused by the big ben looking place, am i just bad at geography and dont know about a similar clock tower in holland that is also associated with red brick industrial buildings and mines? i hope so! either that or maybe its like a combination region of multiple european countries? but thatd be weird since france got to be its own thing. tho honestly i would like it if britain got COMPLETELY ignored except to be one single town that contains the underground minigame, lol

please be holland i love you holland please save me from my rambling awful post WHY THE FUCK am i getting so bad at recognising geography oh yeh cos i havent slept in ages

i love the big bags and the rabbit starter is something ive wanted since i was a lil kid. those are two positives. holland is a third. and its super pretty. okay. i can see all the positive things individually but still somehow my net reaction is a meh because i got too hyped for the wrong thing and also kinda got jumpscared by almost maybe britain I AM SO GLAD IT IS NOT

theory: pokemon world is so idealized and wonderful and beyond us in technology and equality and etc because britain never existed in this universe.

holland stabbed it with a sword

the end

[him-e]

Hi, I sent the original ask about a Celibate Rey ending, I don't know what discourse came out of it, I didn't see it, but I wanted to clear the air. I didn't mean to come off dismissive of female romance/sexuality or of your ship in my ask. I understand it can be exhausting to defend your perspective over and over to people who don't want to listen, so I totally get if you thought I was baiting, though. I'm sorry for the trouble or stress this caused you.

Not asking to troll or continue the discourse, but if you don’t want to continue discussing this topic please delete this. But how can you see a valid Celibate-Rey endgame going? If IX were to end with Rey on her own and to some degree happy (Since this is Star Wars, the ending has to be at least slightly happy or hopeful) what kind of an ending would it be? If Kylo dies or survives, either/or.

Hey, no problem at all, and sorry for my snappish answer (hopefully you realized I was being part tongue-in-cheek, though). Admittedly the “better off alone/celibate” argument is something that cyclically resurfaces in other ships of mine, particularly Jaime/Brienne, which made me skittish on the whole thing, particularly when it’s tied to *female agency* buzzwords and the assumption that it’s the shippers who are arbitrarily trying to force a romance on the character, rather than it being part of the character’s canon narrative (not necessarily your case, but it’s such a popular argument against the J/B ship that I’ve developed particularly nasty anticorps for it)

So re: Celibate Jedi!Rey—

Is it a technically possible endgame for her? Totally.

Is it something I would personally be okay with and find satisfying? Well, yes, if:

a) it acknowledges and gives closure to Rey’s feelings for Ben, and viceversa. This includes admitting a degree of bittersweet in the happily ever after final picture.

Just considering the force bond alone without its romantic implications, Rey and Kylo, just the two of them, are connected on a deep intimate level. This is kind of a big deal, especially for Rey, whose familial bonds were suddenly and irrevocably severed when she was little, after which she was left completely alone with no chance to find her way back to her parents (ironically, now she has a magical tracking device in her head that allows her to communicate with another person even across galaxies. From completely alone, to never completely alone even in her own head. Big deal, indeed). 

Even if the bond is broken (because Kylo dies, or else) and no overtly romantic stuff happens between them, it will still leave a mark on Rey, an empty spot where something magical used to be that can only be partially filled with familial or “muggle” love and the purpose of a “lone” Jedi path. That she would bury Kylo (or watch him leave never to return) and immediately go to join the Resistance’s party original trilogy style as if nothing sad just happened doesn’t make a lot sense to me. In fact, it would infuriate me, as I hate when characters are written as if they had some emotion switch hidden somewhere that makes them go from sad to cheerful in the blink of an eye (and tbh TLJ, for all I liked it, already went dangerously close to that, with Rey’s jarring post-proposal cheerfulness on the Falcon during the whole Crait sequence, imo). 

So if they want to go that route, they need to be ready to tinge their happy ending with a little melancholy, otherwise I won’t find it realistic at all. This especially if Kylo dies, but also if he leaves or they are separated for whatever reason. (if Kylo lives, and redeems himself, and stays, I don’t see any reason why he and Rey should not be together, tbh. I mean it’s not like there’s still a Jedi order around dictating what Rey is or isn’t allowed to do. Like Palpatine was the Senate, she is the Jedi Order now, she can make new rules, lmao)

b) it avoids attaching moralistic implications to this choice (?) of celibacy (”that’s what I’m really meant for”, or “that’s how I’ll live my life to the fullest and be truly happy”, etc).

The figure of the Jedi in SW is, at the end of the day, a caregiver. A magical warrior/monk who essentially devotes their life to other people, denying any sort of personal ambition of satisfaction for himself (self-drive is closer to the Sith way). While the extent of this self-abnegation can be reframed and repackaged in a more “progressive” light (say Rey rebuilds a Jedi order with different rules, or just chooses a different way to be a Jedi, see above), the essence of caregiving and selflessness will probably remain untouched. It’s really funny to me that the people who want this endgame for Rey are the same one who get their panties in a twist at the thought of Rey being “reduced to an emotional caregiver” for Ben (paraphrasing some anti post I’ve read recently). The point is, Celibate!Jedi Rey wouldn’t be simply choosing friendship/family/a career over romance, she’d actually sacrifice her individual (in this case, romantic/sexual) desires in order to become a caregiver for an entire community. And this isn’t something I’d consider an especially subversive or /empowering/ endgame for a female character, quite the opposite, actually. The subtext here needs to be handed carefully, particularly if her endgame involves rebuilding some sort of Jedi school for gifted children: the risk of elevating her to a self-sacrificial virgin mother archetype would be pretty high. It can be done, and it can imply Rey will find happiness in this life, but without any sort of hamfisted *inspirational moral message for little girls*, if you know what I mean.

c) it doesn’t frame Rey’s choice not to be with Kylo specifically (if it is indeed a choice on her part and not something dictated by external forces, aka Kylo’s death or the Willabeth endgame, more on that later) in a moral(istic) perspective.

no “I can’t be with you because you have been mean to people, ewww” bullshit, thank you very much. This sounds like the ultimate anti wet dream, Rey rejecting Kylo because he’s awful, and I think we’re WAAAYYYY past it with all that happened in TLJ.

I hope this clarifies things a bit!

Another anon asked me to explain what I meant with the Willabeth endgame, and:

in POTC III Will Turner kills Davy Jones, so he has to take his place as the captain of the Flying Dutchman, which is a curse for life. He and Elizabeth (who are now married) spend a last day together on an island (during which it’s implied they fuck like rabbits and conceive a child, lmao), and then, at sunset, Will says goodbye, leaving the box containing his heart to Elizabeth, to whom he says, “will you keep it safe for me?”. It’s heartbreaking and a bit sadistic tbh but also incredibly romantic.

How does this apply to Reylo?

Well, Kylo could be 

sentenced to lifelong exile on a remote planet, or 

imprisoned for life, or 

going on exile on his own will, or 

leaving to form a new order of darksiders (or something) as he feels he has no place among the Good Guys and has Redeemed Himself But Not Really, or 

sentenced to death and then promptly freed by Rey, who urges him to leave never to return, for his own safety, or

in general, literally or metaphorically cursed to live an existence separated from Rey as a form of atonement alternative to death;

and Rey obviously can’t follow him, because she can’t and won’t abandon her place among the Resistance, and they both know this, but it doesn’t stop them for wanting each other and swearing they will wait for each other forever, cue pants-dropping emotional final goodbye scene which, while offering complete closure, leaves the possibility of a future reunion entirely possible.

Why do I think it’s a valid scenario?

it’s a good compromise between endgame Reylo and Celibate!Jedi Rey;

Kylo gets to Suffer ™, as y’all hope for;

an unwritten but very common and wise rule of storytelling (whether or not you agree with it) is that a couple who can’t be together NOW is more interesting than a couple who is Just Together and chillin’ on the sofa or something, so this endgame leaves things open enough to be further explored in hypothetical tie-in canon material (comics, novels, tv adaptations, maybe even a standalone Episode IX-bis in five or six years from now, WHO THE HELL KNOWS?);

the fanfictions would SKYROCKET; 

the force bond, if it still exists at that point, would be an INCREDIBLY convenient plot device;

Reylo Sex Island

end

[inu-jiru]

Tomoe, The Eastern Tigress - Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight - Onward, Soldiers!

Mel padded through the tunnels of Gajou, an old can dangling from his mouth. It was filled with water, fresh from the nearest river. Following his nose, the Golden Retriever puppy located the den where Akame was resting. Cross glanced up at the young male, smiling gently as he entered.

“Hello, dear,” she greeted. “Just set that down next to the food, alright?”

“Mmm!” Mel replied with a slight nod. Carefully, he stepped around the sleeping Akame and put the can near a collection of mice and rabbits. Once the Kishu had fully rested, he’d be able to have a proper meal. Cross would also be there to act as a medic, of sorts. Though Akame was more of the expert when it came to medicinal herbs and treatments, he’d need someone to make trips for him until he was on his feet.

The rest of the Ohu dogs had gathered in the new chamber, discussing the news they’d been told regarding Hougen and the captured leaders. Weed, Tomoe and Jerome sat on a few boulders that acted as a sort of platform where they could easily address everyone. As one would expect, there was only anger and fear at the idea of Ohu’s top dogs being held prisoner by some bloodthirsty tyrant.

“I say we rush down to the Southern Alps and rip that Hougen a new asshole!” Kurotora shouted, to which several dogs howled in agreement.

“Hold on…!” Weed began, sweating a bit. He’d never been told just how violent some of the Ohu dogs could be. “As much as I wanna rescue my Father and Mr. John, I don’t wanna leave the Paradise open for anyone to take over.”

“So what do you suppose, Weed?” Ben asked. “Some of us stay here while the rest leave?”

“Exactly,” Weed nodded.

“But even if some of us stay,” Musashi began. “There aren’t very many of us. We need allies if we’re going to have a chance against Hougen. Who knows how many dogs he’s gathered over the six month period.”

“What about the dogs who returned home after the war against Akakabuto?” Tomoe barked. “Is there anyway you older guys can ask them for help?”

“We could,” Ben responded. “But it traveling to them could take a while…”

“I could go and meet my son in the Misty Mountains,” offered Moss. “It’ll take a few days, but I’ll definitely be able to bring back a good number of dogs.”

“And I’ll travel to Shikoku,” Musashi offered. “I can reach out to some old friends of mine from the dog fights. I can’t make any promises, but even one Tosa could help.”

“Don’t forget the Heavenly Kings in Mutsu,” added Jiyū. “I’d say Hakuro and his dogs, but swimming to Hokkaido could take some time…”

“Oooh!” Ken sat up, a paw raised. “And Big Brother!”

“Ooooooh!” Kagetora and Tomoe said eagerly.

““Big Brother”?” Weed blinked, obviously confused. “Who’s that?”

“Ah, right, you haven’t met him yet, Weed,” explained Ken. “His real name is Tesshin. He’s what’s known as a Kouga-Ninja dog. We younger dogs call him “Big Brother” because he was born before us, aside from Gin, of course. Actually, his territory shouldn’t be too far from the Southern Alps. We should be able to pick him up while we’re there.”

“I see,” said Weed, nodding in understanding. “Alright, I think we can work with that. While my group goes out to save Father and John, we’ll see if we can find new allies as well. As for who’s joining me, well...there’s Tomoe and Jerome, of course. Ken and Kagetora come as well.”

“I’d like to come too,” said GB. “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you, Weed, heh.”

“Hehe, alright, GB. I think that’ll be it. Everyone else will stay at Ohu aside from Moss, Musashi and Jiyū. Does that sound fair to everyone?”

“YES!”

The chamber echoed with the unanimous bark. Not even Tomoe could find fault in the plan. Perhaps the puppy wasn’t as hopeless as she thought. As the meeting came to a close, Tomoe went to Jiyū in order to say goodbye. They pressed their heads together, Jiyū whimpering softly.

“You be careful out there,” the mother Shepherd whispered. “Stay strong, and bring your father back as soon as you can.”

“Of course, Mom.” Tomoe’s tail swished slowly. “And don’t let those Mutsu guys give you any trouble.”

“I won’t, haha. Go on now, my strong, little tigress. ”

Weed’s group of travelers were soon on their way, racing through the snow as Gajou grew smaller and smaller behind them. They descended the mountain and left Futago Pass, all the while being unaware that their movements were continuing to be watched by Rocket and his brothers. The hours passed and morning came, replacing the chill of the night with a bit of warmth. Every so often, the group would come across loners and wanderers. While some denied the offer to join, others agreed, knowing that a tyrant spelt doom for all dogs, not just the packs. By late morning, Weed’s group had an additional ten dogs. Rocket and Missile observed their numbers from the safety of a high snow bank.

“Their numbers are increasing pretty quickly,” Missile noticed.

“Not to worry, Missile,” Rocket replied calmly. “I’ll throw a wrench in their progress. But first, I’ll need to join their ranks.”

“Huh?” Missile looked to his brother, confused. “What do you plan on doing exactly?”

“You’ll see. Just keep spying with Jet. Let him know what I’m doing.”

Rocket took off after that. Sliding down the hill, he began running after the small group, panting as if he’d been running for quite some time and was just now catching up.

“Wait…!” he shouted. Weed looked back, seeing the Borzoi following after the pack. “Please! Let me join you!”

“Slow down, you guys!” Weed ordered. Most of the others obeyed, though Tomoe was a bit reluctant.

“Ugh…” she muttered. “We’re going so slow…”

“Try to have some patience,” Jerome barked beside her, staring at her out of the corner of his eye. “We need the allies.”

“I’d like to hear you say that when it’s YOUR dad getting the shit beat out of him. Jackass.”

“Come on, you two.” Ken pulled up behind the two Shepherds. “Can you guys go without butting heads every five minutes?”

“Tell this fucker to stop micromanaging me then,” an annoyed Tomoe grunted.

“If you’re going to be Weed’s General,” Jerome sighed. “You’re going to need to act more mature. Weed is half your age and he--”

“Fuck off.” The female began moving away from Jerome. “I’m not listening to this.” She moved herself to the other end of the group. Jerome snorted, thankful that it was Weed who was the leader and not a hothead like Tomoe. Remembering the puppy, Jerome looked back, seeing that Weed had been in the middle of a conversation with the stranger dog. Jerome’s eyes narrowed. Something seemed...off...about that guy. His suspicions grew greater when, for a split second, they made eye-contact, and the Borzoi immediately looked away. Yeah...something was definitely up.

The days and nights continued to pass. Ten recruits became fifteen, and fifteen became twenty. It might not have been enough to take down Hougen’s army, but it was definitely a start. Weed was more focused on retrieving his father, anyway. If there was some way they could just rush in and grab Gin, a battle could be postponed until later. Only time would tell, though.

One night, when the pack had settled down in a forest clearing to sleep, Weed pulled Jerome aside in order to speak to him privately. They traveled to a small area not far from the clearing. Of course, Rocket continued to spy on them, sticking to the shadows. He’d learned from his conversation with Weed that the puppy was Gin’s son, which definitely made things interesting.

“Jerome,” Weed started, his eyes on the ground. “There’s something that I need you to do for me…”

“Of course, Weed,” said Jerome. “What is it?”

“I…” Weed stopped, gritting his teeth. Jerome watched him carefully, taking note of the way the puppy’s body shook with some powerful emotion he couldn’t quite identify. Weed then looked up, staring Jerome in the eyes. “I want you to teach me out to fight properly!”

“Oh?” Jerome’s brow raised with interest. “This is pretty sudden, Weed. You fought against Kaibutsu, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but…” Weed looked down again. “We might face even stronger enemies on the way to save my father. I need to be prepared for that. I don’t want any other dog to die because I wasn’t strong enough…” The images of Tokimune, and Jerome’s comrades flashed in the young brindle’s mind, dogs he could only watch die before his very eyes. He grunted, frustrated by his own failures.

“Well...if it means that much to you, Weed,” Jerome said. “Then I’ll teach you.”

“Really?” Weed smiled up at the Shepherd.

“Mmm-hmm. I’ll teach you the basics, and in time, you can adapt your own style.”

“Ah…! Thank you, Jerome!”

“Hmm…” Rocket licked his chops, humming thoughtfully. “Seems that brat can’t do anything alone. Mmph. Well, better get to work.”

A paw accidentally trodding on Tomoe’s tail tore the young female from a peaceful slumber. Her head sprang up from her paws, a snarl rumbling from deep in her throat. She glared over her shoulder, seeing an old terrier backing away from her.

“Ooh..!” he yelped. “Sorry about that, miss!”

“Tch…” the bitch muttered, sitting up. “Watch where you’re going, Gramps…” Her ear flicked, hearing paws against the snow. She turned to see ten other dogs, ones that had recently been recruited, heading off into the woods. “Uh...? What the hell?”

“Sorry, miss Tomoe…” the terrier barked, starting after the other dogs. “But there’s no way we can beat dogs who are ten times stronger than us…”

“What!?” Tomoe stood, looking after the fleeing dogs. “Who told you that? Wait! Where’d you hear that from!?” Tomoe’s yells soon forced the other dogs awake. Kagetora sat up, yawning as he looked around.

“What’s all the noise about…?”

“Those dogs are leaving us!” Tomoe snapped. The news shook the sleep from the remaining Ohu dogs, and they began scrambling to their paws. They looked after the deserters in disbelief.

“Oi!” Ken shouted. “What’s the big idea!? You can’t agree to join us and then flake out! OI!”

It was too late. The eleven dogs had made their decision, vanishing into the forest. The Ohu dogs could only stand there, looking after where they’d gone, feeling a mixture of frustration and confusion. A moment later, Weed and Jerome appeared from the undergrowth.

“We heard shouting,” said Weed. “What happ--? Wait…where is everyone?”

“They ran away,” Kagetora grunted.

“Something about not being able to beat dogs ten times stronger than us…” Tomoe added with a lash of her tail. “At least, that's what that old guy was saying. Who the fuck gave them that idea?”

“Isn’t it the truth?”

Everyone turned to Rocket. He was sitting nearby, a neutral expression on his face. GB, who was standing near him, turned to him with a snarl.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the Setter demanded. “You really think Hougen’s dogs are better than us?”

“I-It’s not that…” Rocket quickly tried to think up a lie. “I’ve just heard rumors, that’s all. Those other dogs seem to believe it, so I thought…” The Borzoi fell quiet as Jerome took a step towards him, his gaze cold and suspicious.

“So what will you do?” the Shepherd challenged. “If you think that’s the truth, then you can go ahead and join the others.”

“I…” Rocket shrank back.

“We can’t start forcing people to stay with us,” Weed declared. He lied down, getting into a comfortable position. “If they want to leave, then we can’t stop them.”

“Tch!” Kagetora stamped a paw. “We’ll never get enough fighters with that attitude…!”

“Wait a minute,” said Rocket, his eyes widening in realization. “That kid’s your leader!?”

“For now,” Tomoe muttered.

“Right…” said GB. “We must not have mentioned that to you yet.”

“Is that a problem?” asked Jerome. His eyes had never left the Borzoi.

“No, no, I was just surprised, is all.”

“Well…” Ken began sitting back down, yawning. “Nothing we can do now, I guess. Maybe we’ll stumble across some braver dogs tomorrow…”

“Yeah…” Kagetora forced himself to agree, though his annoyance at the deserters was as plain as day. “Sure.”

“You can’t promise to fight and then chicken out…” Tomoe was ranting to herself. “Cowards…”

“Let it go, Tomoe,” Jerome called to her, taking a spot near Weed. “There’s no point in complaining about it now.”

“Fuck. Off.”

“Jeez…” Kagetora whispered to Ken. “I’m starting to get why Tomoe doesn’t like that guy…”

“Oh really?” the Dane replied. “I thought you’d be having a field day.”

“Eh...it’s not funny anymore. This is serious, Ken. If we can’t get enough soldiers, then we’re fucked.” Kagetora threw himself onto the ground, sighing as he laid his head on his paws. Ken laid next to him, getting a little closer for warmth, possibly for comfort as well.

The clearing grew quiet again as everyone settled down for more sleep. Rocket laid on his side, reflecting on what just happened. Though he knew what he would have to do about Weed, he shuddered at the hypervigilance of Jerome. And while Tomoe didn’t seem to suspect him, the last thing he wanted to do was get on her bad side.

The next few days were more or less the same. Weed’s pack continued south, picking up whoever they could. Though the increase in followers was slow, it was better than nothing. At night, Weed would train under Jerome, increasing his strength more and more. Rocket would continue his spying, while Jet and Missile followed the group from afar. One afternoon, the group came to a stop after hours of endless running.

“I’m starving,” Tomoe said, licking his chops. She smiled over at Ken and Kagetora. “Hey, you two wanna go look for some deer?”

“Oooh…” Kagetora began drooling a bit. “Sounds good to me. C’mon Ken; just like old times, huh?”

“Mmm,” Ken nodded. The Dane called back to the others as he and his two friends headed off. “We’ll head this way! Be back in a bit!”

The three ran through the snowy forest together, feeling the cool breeze rushing through their coats. Tomoe’s nostrils flared, allowing a combination of scents to enter her nose. Her eyes closed, and for a moment, she forgot about the troubles looming over her. She pretended that she was back in the Pass, hunting for a kill that the Ohu soldiers could share. Everyone would gather together, listening to stories of the past. Kurotora and Moss would often butt heads about certain details, usually something that had to relate to their heroics. Come nightfall, Tomoe would sit with her parents, gazing up at the stars and pointing out the constellations she’d been taught as a puppy. Tomoe slowed to a stop, feeling the cold sting her cheeks were tears had streamed down.

“Damn it…” she cursed, shuttering as she began to cry. Ken and Kagetora stopped, turning back to her.

“Tomoe?” Ken began. His eyes widened, seeing Tomoe’s tears. “Oh, shit…”

“What’s the matter, Tomoe?” Kagetora asked in concern.

“Nothing, just…” Tomoe choked. She pawed at the snow, her tail lashing in discomfort. “I just miss when things were normal, you know…? Before Kaibutsu, before Hougen...Tch! What if Uncle Akame’s wrong? What if Dad and Uncle Gin are already dead!?”

“Don’t say that…!” said Ken, alarmed. “We’ll definitely save them! Everything’ll go back to normal!”

“If you think like that,” Kagetora added. “Then Hougen’ll already have won…! Don’t give him that, Tomoe!”

Both males were silent as Tomoe continued to sob. They shared a glance, before sitting down and allowing the female to release her tears. They understood her fears completely; neither of them wanted Gin or John to die, and just the thought of their own fathers being in a life-or-death situation made them uneasy. It wouldn’t have been good for Tomoe to hold on to her feelings. It was best that she vented now while she could. Tomoe wasn’t exactly sure how long she cried, but after a while, the tears stopped. Her face felt hot and puffy; all she wanted to do was bury her face in the snow. She looked up at her two friends. Their eyes were full of support.

“I feel a little better…” said Tomoe, her voice a bit scratchy. “You guys still wanna hunt…?”

“You feelin’ up to it?” Ken asked. Tomoe nodded. “Then sure, if Kage wants to.”

“Hell yeah, I do,” said the Kai with a lick of his lips. He gave the Shepherd bitch a grin. “Don’t worry, Tomoe. Once we find something, it’s gonna be just like old times.”

“Heh...thanks, you guys.”

[phosphorescent-naidheachd]

From a Certain Point of View

Or, how Ben Kenobi’s boldfaced lie prevarication saved the Galaxy (but not in the way he thought it would).

(See Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four)

Part Five: Epilogue

When Sidious dies, Jedi and other Force Sensitives across the galaxy sense it, even if they don’t all know precisely what it is that they’re feeling. The Force reverberates with the death of so powerful a being – with the shattering of so many significant shatterpoints. A heavy, oppressive cloud has lifted. The Force hasn’t felt this way since… longer than some of them even remember. The older among them do remember the days when the Force was lighter and their foresight clearer, but even they hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten until the fog of the Dark was gone.

Padme, with her low midichlorian count, is not particularly attuned to the Force, but she feels it too. Somewhere deep in her bones, she knows that something has changed. And Padme has always trusted her instincts.

So when Anakin bursts into her office in the Senate and announces that he just killed Chancellor Palpatine -- oh, and that Palpatine was a Sith Lord who orchestrated the entire war, by the way -- she isn’t quite as shocked as she probably should be.

(Which is not, of course, the same thing as not being shocked at all. Because Palpatine? A Sith Lord? She’d been concerned about the executive powers he was accruing and the policies he was putting into place, of course, but...)

“Are you all right?” he asks, dropping to his knees in front of her chair.

“Me?” she says. “I’m fine, Ani. I’m not the one who just fought a Sith! We need to get you to a medic.”

“Only if you get looked over too,” he says. He hesitates then adds, “Is there anything you, uh, wanted to tell me?”

He gestures awkwardly in her direction with his flesh hand.

Padme stares at him.

“I’m sorry?” she says, eyeing him worriedly.

Who knows what kind of damage he might have sustained in his encounter with Palpatine.

“You know,” he says. “Any, um, family news?”

“My family is fine, last I heard,” she says slowly. “Ani, what’s going on?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Padme, how is the baby doing?”

She stares at him. 

“What baby?”

There is a choking sound near the door.

...which, she realizes in retrospect, they never closed after Anakin barged in like a gundark. 

“An excellent question. Is there anything,” a particularly exhausted-looking Obi-Wan Kenobi says dryly, one eyebrow arched, “that the two of you would like to tell me?”

An Hour Later...

Silence falls once Anakin has finished his story.

One of Obi-Wan’s few comforts is that Padme looks nearly as shellshocked as he feels. At least he wasn’t the only one Anakin has been keeping in the dark...

“Let me see if I understood this correctly,” Obi-Wan says, folding his arms over his chest. “Not satisfied with just conducting an affair so indiscreet that every padawan and half the initiates in the Coruscant Temple knew about it, the two of you decided to get married. While Anakin was still a padawan himself, no less. Then, shortly after the beginning of the War, your son from the future arrived to warn you about a student of mine that was going to bring about the fall of the Republic and the Jedi, only to vanish into thin air partway through his explanation of events. Instead of talking this fantastical tale through with me, as would have been sensible, your response was to maintain absolute secrecy, cling to my side like lichen to rock, prevent me from spending any time with younglings, and to steal Ahsoka as your padawan to prevent her from becoming my student and thus this Darth Vader. Is that correct?”

“...that about sums it up,” Anakin says, only a little shamefaced.

“Ah, good,” Obi-Wan says. He belatedly realizes that he is stroking his beard with one hand -- an unfortunate tell of his. “I’d hate to have missed any other revelations.”

Padme looks ready to drop her head into her hands. Obi-Wan can sympathize. 

“So you’re sure you aren’t pregnant?” Anakin asks, turning his attention back to her.

“Yes, Anakin,” she repeats with supreme patience. “I’m sure.”

“Maybe we should get you checked out, just in case,” he says.

Padme sighs.

“Trust me,” she says waspishly, “I am absolutely, without a doubt, not pregnant. I’m on my moonsblood right now and you are not helping my mood.”

Anakin freezes, the expression on his face resembling nothing more than an ash-rabbit trapped by a predator. He turns his head in Obi-Wan’s direction, eyes pleading.

Obi-Wan shakes his head. 

(He’s learned many things over the years, and key among them is to never get involved in a couple’s marital spat.)

And yet...

Obi-Wan sighs internally and begins to speak. “I hate to interrupt, but do we know if Mas Amedda was aware of Palpatine’s true identity? With Palpatine dead, the Chancellorship will fall into his hands, along with its manifold new powers.”

Padme frowns, lacing her fingers through one another atop the desk.

“Several of us in the Senate have long suspected him of corruption,” she says, “but we’ve never been able to tie him to anything. Every time we think we’ve finally caught him, he slithers away again. Bail -- Senator Organa -- thinks Amedda might have someone from Intelligence in his pocket, but now I wonder... Whether he was aware of Palpatine’s identity or not, I can not imagine Amedda didn’t do some of Palpatine’s dirty work. We’d need actual proof before we could oust him from his position, though...”

“And if he has any brains, one of the first things he’ll do upon learning of Palpatine’s exposure -- and his own newly gained authority -- is erase any evidence that might incriminate him,” Obi-Wan agrees.

Force, this is such a mess.

He pinches the bridge of his nose as the headache building behind his eyes continues to grow.

“And if Palpatine planned everything,” Padme continues,“he must have had allies. Many, many allies -- witting and unwitting. How deep does this go? ...We need allies and we need to figure out how we’re going to spin this. Quickly, before the press gets word. Tell me, what did you do with the Chancellor’s body? Did you attack any of his Security on the way in -- No, you can’t have done, they would have raised the alarm long before now. -- Do we know if he had any other appointments this afternoon? For that matter, who else knows about this?”

Her eyes, sharp and intelligent, pin him in place.

Reluctantly, he says, “We left the Chancellor’s body in his office where he fell. No one other than Palpatine was harmed, to my knowledge. Anakin simply walked in without an appointment -- the guards are used to that -- and I snuck in through a window. I’m afraid I have no notion of whether he had any other appointments later in the day. Anakin, was his secretary there when you entered?”

Anakin shakes his head. 

“I think she was on her lunch break,” he says.

“Well, that’s something at least,” Padme mutters. “And the rest?”

“Cody knows,” Anakin says promptly. “So does Ahsoka.” 

“The Chancellor’s personal chef knows as well,” Obi-Wan says. “It’s possible that any of them have told someone else. I... have not yet had an opportunity to brief the Council on this matter as someone ran off to your office the second I confirmed Palpatine’s death. I barely had time to lock the office door behind him before following.”

Padme lets out a low groan.

“I,” she says, “am calling for backup.”

Anakin makes as though to move, only to be halted by a gesture from Padme.

“You,” she says, “are going to stay right there. I’ll ask them to bring a med-droid while they’re at it.”

“Then perhaps --” Obi-Wan begins delicately.

“And you,” Padme says. “You aren’t going anywhere either. The two of you have done enough for the moment.”

“I was merely going to suggest that someone inform Ahsoka of our whereabouts,” Obi-Wan says. “It wouldn’t do for her to panic and barge into the Chancellor’s office, lightsaber in hand.”

“...that is a fair point,” Padme says, sounding almost insultingly surprised.

“Then while we’re at it,” Obi-Wan says, “Might I suggest that one of us contact the Council and request a representative’s presence at your planned meeting? Everything will go more smoothly if we are all on the same page.”

“Of course,” Padme says with a gracious nod.

Obi-Wan has just lifted his comlink from his belt to make the call when a terrible thought occurs to him.

And really, if he hadn’t been so tired -- if this entire day hadn’t been one galaxy-shattering revelation after another, interspersed with frantic planning and fighting -- he would have thought of this much earlier.

“Padme,” Obi-Wan says slowly. “By any chance, do you know if the interior of your office is under any forms of surveillance?”

“...oh fuck.”

Mace Windu was having a fairly pleasant day, all things considered. For the first time in months, he wasn’t in a war zone. The Sithbegotten headache he’d received earlier today had finally gone away. The Force felt tangibly lighter, shatterpoints were showing futures brighter and clearer than any he’d seen in well over a decade, and he even had a cup of Sapir tea in front of him.

Yes, Mace Windu was having a good day. 

‘Was’ is the key word here.

The second he received an urgent comm from Obi-Wan Kenobi asking for him to come to Senator Amidala’s office in the Senate ASAP, however, he knew his day was about to descend into all nine Corellian hells.

It’s Kenobi, after all -- the man has a positive talent for attracting chaos. And where Kenobi is, Skywalker is rarely far behind.

The question isn’t whether Mace’s headache is about to return, the question is only how bad it’s going to be when it does.

So when he enters Senator Amidala’s office to find not only Kenobi, Amidala, and Skywalker, but also Tano and Senators Organa, Mothma, Danu, and Tills, he can feel his temples start to throb anew.

Then he hears Skywalker’s story.

Mace closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep, calming breath.

...he hates it when he’s right about these things.

The meeting feels like it lasts forever. Once they’ve decided how to handle Palpatine’s death, talk turns to the current intra-political environment in the Senate and how that might affect any brokering of a peace agreement with the remaining Separatist leadership. Which then leads into even more political discussions. 

Anakin is bored stiff.

In the end, the meeting only breaks up because Bail reminds them that it will look suspicious if they remain holed up together for too long -- especially once news of the Chancellor’s death spreads.

Unfortunately, however, it appears that Anakin’s trials for the day have just begun. The rest of the day involves enough politics and long-winded debates given in double-speak that he’s begun to seriously consider ‘accidentally’ injuring himself just to have an excuse to escape.

Something in his face must have given his thoughts away, because Obi-Wan lays a hand on his arm and shakes his head.

“If you think this is bad,” Obi-Wan whispers, sounding far too amused for a man listening to yet another piece of circuitous sophistry from a puffed-up planetary representative, “you should be grateful you haven’t been on the Council long yet.”

It... can get worse then this?

Anakin shudders.

By the time they leave for the evening, Anakin can’t decide which he wants more -- to eat something, to sleep for twelve hours straight, or to hit something hard.

Padme, in his private opinion, looks almost as disappointed as she does smug when she informs him that she never had occasion to use her blasters today.

.........he can sympathize with the former. 

Politics are enough to make anyone violent.

Irritating politicians aside, confronting and disposing of Palpatine is not enough. Not for that kind of intimate betrayal.

It will never be enough, he knows, not even if he kills every last one of Palpatine’s stooges. Their blood will not wash away all the blood that has been shed in this stupid, pointless war; their deaths will not bring the other dead back to life or restore him to a world where his trust remains unbroken.

Damn if it wouldn’t make him feel better, though.

But not for long, that annoying voice in his head that sounds like Obi-Wan reminds him. It would only be a temporary distraction; you’d still have to deal with everything eventually. Besides, vengeance is not the Jedi way.

...sometimes Anakin really wishes he hadn’t spent so much time meditating with Obi-Wan.

Padawan Ahsoka Tano is tired. It has been a long, tense day. A long week, really. A long past few years.

She’s looking forward to lying down on Master Obi-Wan’s couch and passing out.

(Ever since she became Anakin’s padawan, the two of them have been on the front lines more often than not, so he’s never bothered to get them their own set of rooms. Ahsoka doesn’t mind -- there’s something kind of cozy about sharing an apartment with both of her Masters. ...She suspects that Anakin and Master Obi-Wan feel the same way, even if they’ll never say as much.)

So naturally, when they enter Master Obi-Wan’s apartment, someone is already sitting there.

She doesn’t recognize him, but Anakin certainly seems to.

“Luke?” he says incredulously. “How -- why --?”

The boy -- man, really -- shrugs.

He seems only slightly sheepish to have been caught breaking into their apartment. 

“Surprise?” he says, running a gloved hand through floppy blond hair.

The conversation that follows is perhaps the weirdest one Ahsoka has ever been a part of... and that’s saying something, considering who she works with on a daily basis.

Every now and then, Skyguy cuts Luke off, throwing her a nervous glance.

...Now that she stops to think about it, this usually happens when the subject of this new Sith, Darth Vader, comes up. 

It’s super irritating. Ahsoka isn’t some untried youngling! She’s fought in countless battles. She even helped to take down a Sith Lord; she hardly needs shielding from a mere discussion about one! 

Anakin has just sent her into the kitchenette to make some tea -- which, if you ask her, is a totally transparent excuse to get her out of the way so he can talk to this Luke person in private -- when there’s a faint rap at the apartment door.

Glad to escape the tedium of tea-making, Ahsoka dashes back into the living room.

It’s probably just as well that she did, because Anakin and Luke are so absorbed in their Top Secret conversation that she doesn’t think they even saw her come through, let alone heard the knock.

She glances through the peephole.

Ah, it’s Master Obi-Wan.

Since it’s his apartment, Obi-Wan doesn’t need to knock, but he’s done so ever since that one time he walked in on her making out with Barriss.

(In retrospect, the living room really wasn’t the best place for that. Even Barriss, usually so unflappable, couldn’t look him straight in the eye for a solid week afterwards without remembering the short talk they’d both received about the importance of using protection, exercising discretion, and remembering their priorities as Jedi.)

Shaking away the memory, she opens the door. 

“Thank you, Ahsoka,” Master Obi-Wan says. “...is that Tarine I smell?”

“Yeah... Good nose,” she replies. “Want any? I’m already making some for Skyguy and his visitor.” 

“Oh? Is this visitor anyone I know?” he asks, arching a brow quizzically.

“Some guy named Luke,” Ahsoka says with a shrug, stepping back to let him in. “He claims he’s from the future and that he’s met Skyguy before.”

“Really,” Master Obi-Wan says.

His eyes sharpen as he steps through the door and peers around her.

“So that is Luke,” he murmurs.

Luke freezes in his place on the couch, then his head snaps up. 

He gapes.

“Ben?” he says, moving forward. “Ben Kenobi? Gosh, you look different.”

“Have we met before?” Master Obi-Wan asks.

Luke’s eyes seem to laugh at some private joke. Smiling faintly, he says,

“Oh yes... from a certain point of view.”

THE END

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x04: A Liveblog

Once again, friends, I come to you with review and summary of the latest Gotham events. And Ed’s back this time. ...god help us all.

TL;DR - I wonder what’s happening in the REAL Gotham where character motivation still makes sense

Ben, whatever happens, I’m holding you personally responsible

Side Note: what exactly IS an embalming knife? Like... where does a knife come into the embalming process? Is this the knife you use to carve out the mushy bits, is that it? Because like... to my knowledge, embalming is a primary function of embalming liquid. Like... mostly it’s preserving and shit. And I don’t know how a knife preserves fuck all. But maybe someone who knows anthropology or mortician practices can explain this to me.

“That cuneiform is definitely pre-Venetian” ...did... did I just hear that right? Oh, PHOEnician... that makes way more sense. I was just... had a heart attack for a second. Carry on.

Look Bruce, you could have a friend your own age! Or... you know, continue to live alone with your butler like... all normal kids do. I suppose you have Cat but... mmm. mm.

...Ed’s fine. He’s fine. Upside down in his... obsession pit. He’s fine.

It’s a TOTALLY NORMAL and HEALTHY thing to paste thousands of pictures of your ex all over the walls while you contemplate revenge, yeah that... this is fine. It’s all Fine.

You’re uh... looking a little ramshackle and disheveled there Ed, OH HEY KNIFE. HI, uh... Okay. Did you fucking... DRAW sketches of Oswald yourself? Oh my god Ed... oh my god. See you haven’t changed at all really.

Yeah, he seems fine

Meanwhile, stuffed birds all over the place. I’m sure that’s... fine

You know, it’s pretty great how ancient cultures are always keen to write their hellish prophecies on their murder weapons, always appreciate that

UHHHHHH SABER SKELETON. UHHHHHH. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Randall Tier flashbacks* UMMM UMMM UMMM UMMM. I JUST UH. I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS MIGHT WANT TO BE CAREFUL WITH THE ALLUSIONS YOU’RE MAKING GUYS. YOU DON’T HAVE A WILL GRAHAM TO SAVE YOU.

Just... just all of the safe. All of the safe.

Maybe uh... maybe don’t talk about the Demon’s Head being a person and then cut to a saber skeleton. Maybe we don’t encourage brutal fledgling serial killers hahahahaha. 

That uh... sure is some hair, there, Alexander Siddig. God this show’s aesthetic is fucking weird. 

...this whole sequence has been nothing but Hannibal allusions.

They are REALLY pushing for the Hannibal aesthetics. Got a real crush on that show.

Look Bruce! Your new friend has ALSO been traumatized by witnessing the death of his guardian! You have so much in common!

*frowns* Harvey left and didn’t tell Jim??? Like, given what happened this summer, I can totally understand Donal not being around for filming but... write it better than “Harvey left and didn’t tell Jim” Because that’s bullshit.

I also DO NOT WANT TO PARTICIPATE in a love triangle where 2 women fight over Jim’s soul NO NO NO NO NO. So if that’s where this is going FUCK OFF, FUCK EVERYTHING, AND FUCK YOU.

Welp, seeing another dead guardian should stir some shit up for Bruce

At least this sends Jim back to Barbara... I mean, that’s not really a positive, but at least I don’t hate Jim and Barbara, mainly because they have the stamp of canon on them

I don’t know how I feel about Babs hair this season, it’s... different

Okay, HARD NO on Ra’s-al-Ghul’s underlings, HARD NO. I just came from American Gods and THAT IS NOT ANUBIS. For one thing he’s white. What.

Intense staring contest with bowler hat. Oswald’s So Over It.

What’re you expecting Ed to jump out of it? Holy shit Oswald, calm down

I... you didn’t want to be disturbed... during your staring contest with the hat??? I... okay. Also, maybe close your fucking door then, it was wide open. Just saying.

Huh... Oswald and Sofia are meeting. Okay. Better put the masturbation hat away then Oswald, it’s a little too revealing

Hmmm... be careful Oswald. You’re right to be wary of her, don’t let her fool you. Also, Maybe Talk To Jim About This.

...White Rabbit. Really. *long, put upon sigh*

AAAAAAAAAAND the worst rap of all time! Well DONE Ed!

Oswald’s reactions to this are everything. Bless you Oswald. I love you. 100% everything I feel too.

Belated Side Note: Zsasz used to work for Falcone, and Falcone has taken control of him back from Oswald on occasion. Why then does Zsasz offer to stab Sofia? Is he truly loyal to Oswald now? Or was his relationship exclusively with Carmine? OR is it a bluff and Sofia’s already tapped him? Or will she tap him later? Lots of questions... lots of questions.

Yeah because WHY would you murder the guy??? It’s WAY more healthy for your psychological state to just... keep him on ice forever. That’s progress.

“I want Ed Nygma” we... we know Oswald. we know.

Always, ALWAYS the fucking docks. Goddddd. PLEASE GET A NEW SPOT YOU TWO.

Also, Oswald, DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO THAT??? That WASN’T a riddle, that was... statements. His brain is SHOT. God knows what a second spell in the ice will do.

Also also, I can guarantee that Ed won’t even be at the docks because he’s a dumbass now. And somehow the obvious answer will be wrong.

Um, frankly, I wouldn’t trust Bruce if I was Alex, Bruce is 100% the person who got Alex’s granddad killed. I’d be super pissed at Bruce. But... y’know, okay, whatever. Moving the plot forward.

Ahhh, Alex is giving Bruce the benefit of the doubt, I see. Nice kid. Very generous in his grief.

Also, why the shit would he come after you? He wanted the KNIFE, that’s it. I mean... I guess you’re a witness, but he didn’t see you so he doesn’t know about you. You’re not in danger kid. At least, not so much danger the police can’t take care of it, for once. You’re very much safe as houses until the plot inevitably fucks this up.

It would be a good idea to give up the knife tho, then you’re really in the clear

How the FUCK is Ra’s-al-Ghul at the library! How does he know to come here? Presumably he knew to come to the antiquities room because he was tracking Bruce because Babs told him to... I guess he could have tracked Bruce here then. Meh.

Ah yes. The creatures. Fuck that.

White people speaking ancient Middle Eastern languages. Mmmm nothing like it.

Ah, the old collapsing book case technique! Because no one thinks to GET OUT OF THE WAY of that shit. Nah, just gotta stand here and be crushed by the 3 ton weight of literature. It was my destiny to die this way.

Oh, I see, you’re just going to make like a harmless academic and this knife has been in your family for generations, of course...

You’re awfully paranoid kid. I mean... I suppose you were attacked now, so... I guess that’s justified

Uhhhh, kid, Bruce is not a Good Example of literally anything. He’s been training to become the world’s most popular vigilante for a few years now and that was born out of this very trauma so... y’know, don’t compare yourself to him. Please don’t. We don’t need more Batmans.

“No, you’re cool” I think you mean wealthy. Wealthy and cool CAN intersect but I feel like this is a classism thing. Let me provide you with a book on Marxism, kid.

If this doesn’t turn into another exploration of sexuality subplot, I’m gonna be disappointed

Uh, if he’s here on international business, like... check his visa Jim, he should have legal paperwork and shit to take that knife back to Nepal

JIM. WHY ARE YOU TELLING A MURDER SUSPECT THAT THERE IS A LIVING WITNESS. YOU’RE ACTIVELY PUTTING THE KID IN DANGER HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT NOT GOOD PROTOCOL JIM. Unless you were planning to trip him up on a lie, THIS IS NOT GOOD PROCEDURE JIM. THIS IS A HANNIBAL LEVEL FUCK UP. AS PEOPLE CONTINUE TO TELL HANNIBAL, THE ACTUAL CHESAPEAKE REAPER, SENSITIVE CASE DETAILS ALL THE FUCKING TIME. HOLY SHIT NO.

This... this whole interrogation is a shit show, oh my god, not great work, very bad work, the both of you. Awful lying, Get Good.

Welp. I guess Ra’s-al-Ghul can teleport. Or turn fucking invisible. Glad that’s very justified. Everyone know if you get resurrected you get Special Powers. The divine amniotic sack gives to all.

Yeah because Sofia Totally Won’t Challenge Penguin For Power. That Defs Won’t Happen. And It Especially Won’t Involve Jim.

Oswald You Good. You Good Good Good Villain. How I Love Thee.

Brilliant babe who is rightfully suspicious after 3 seasons of this bullshit. Y’all fucking forget that Oswald is a sewer rat, you cannot trick him.

Oh boo hoo Sofia, I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you

Her criticism may be valid, BUT, on the other hand, as I said, Oswald’s lived through 3 seasons of this bullshit, while you lived the high life in Cuba. You might have your father’s perspective, but you don’t have any of Oswald’s hands-on experience. I still stand by Oswald’s decision to just murder them, he’s played the politics here long enough to know there is no loyalty amongst thieves. Not for him.

You know, it’s very considerate of Ra’s-al-Ghul to break shit every time he enters a scene so we know he’s here. Very thoughtful of him.

Oh it’s his fucking creatures again... ugggghhhhhhh...

More quality rapping! Good job Ed! Continuing to be the Best!

HAHAHAHAHA *more Randall Tier flashbacks* HAHAHAHAHAHA! ALL of the Hannibal allusions! Phew!

...no. no to the bone gag. just no.

Yeah, kid’s dead. Good job Ra’s-al-Ghul, at least you come through on your weird ass threats.

I mean... Ra’s totally made you make that call tho Bruce, this is his sick game, it’s on him. No one should have to decide between the death of one innocent or the deaths of millions of innocents. That’s a bullshit moral quandary that doesn’t actually exist. He wants you to think like he thinks, that’s all, this is psychological warfare, that’s the whole point. Remind yourself he did this, not just for the active murder, but more so because he thinks there is something to be gained by making you do this. He’s the asshole responsible.

Ed, I’m just... sweetie, pumpkin, if your point is to prove Oswald is a coward or an idiot, then... you proved it. Running after him sorta... disproves your point. If you want to meet him and murder him then... make that the point. Just... show up and murder him in the first place. *siiiigh* Or invite him to a cordial murder, whatever, but don’t make it a contest of wits if what you rally want is a confrontation. Get your shit together.

*nods* He’s right, they do suck, they were AWFUL

This... that... was bizarre. This was bizarre. What... exactly does Oswald want? I don’t understand. I know Ed isn’t himself anymore, but... you could help him. You could help him become himself again. And you both hate and are afraid of the Riddler. Why... would you want him back? As you just said, you want him only to freeze him. And just... that personality wasn’t even WHOLE, it was a fractured disaster. That wasn’t even a person. Just like this isn’t even a person. Why would you taunt Ed with saying “you’re not him”? I know you want Ed as an equal, but... do you think he can only be your equal as the Riddler? Who you hate and fear? You’ve got some weird ideas floating around in your head, Oswald. I would make the argument that you don’t hate or fear the Riddler nearly as much as you claim to and you want to bang the living daylights out of him, but like... *siiiigh* I dunno. You didn’t always want that. You wanted Ed to be whole and your equal. Nothing you’ve seen of him since he was your chief of staff has been real. None of it, all of it was a mistake, aborted attempts at personalities. And I just don’t know what you want anymore if you won’t take this broken, defunct Ed and help him.

You’re pushing him towards becoming the Riddler again, so I guess that’s what you want. And maybe you’re tired of being his mentor, after all, you tried that, reluctantly, and that went SO well. Maybe you hope/expect him to work it out for himself, and come back to you when he’s ready. That would put your relationship in a WAY different paradigm than it has been... but... okay??? I guess??? I’m having another time of not knowing what the hell the writers want for them

Why. why why why why. I hate everything.

I hate Jim so much

Ben You Done Fucked Up.

[angelthefirst1]

Beth Is Wildfire

The group arrives at the CDC and we see a Clip of Dr Jenner making video lab notes, he is talking about how it’s been 194 days since wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global.

What’s 194 – 63 well it just so happens it’s 131.

Does anyone remember Beth’s 30 days without an accident sign? Oh and also the Sanctuary’s 101 days without an accident sign? Well add them together and what do you get? Yep that’s right 131. This is a representation of the pattern.  coda000coda.

 Hi again all,

Sorry for the long wait for part 6 life got very busy for a time, above is a small snippet from part 6. Enjoy...  

We are continuing on from part 5 when Sofia goes missing in S2 and then also going back to talk about the CDC S1 and Beth's cure story line.

We continue.

It’s now that the story switches to Sofia in regards to Beth, they are telling the story again but with different details, it’s now about the start of Sofia’s story but also telling how they will go back for Beth and she won’t be where they left her, Rick tells her to hide in a dark cave so he can draw off the walkers, she does but eventually comes out before Rick gets back.

But Rick did leave her instructions as to how to get back to the HWY to find the group he points in the right direction and tells her to keep the sun on her left shoulder. Daryl later finds her tracks and says “she was doing just fine until she veered off in the wrong direction” and that’s what leads to her Death Coda eventually.  But with Beth we know she asks Daryl to learn how to track and the group will leave her signs (or unintentional instructions) to track and eventually get back to them.

Interesting Carol doesn’t bother going looking for Sofia herself in this first scene; Carol and Maggie are loops of this same story line here, not looking for someone they love that is missing, S4 for Maggie and possibly again when Beth’s “body goes missing and they think she is a walker”, Sasha also has this loop in S4E13 when she didn’t want to go looking for Tyrese.

The next day the group does go looking for Sofia and they find a tent, its yellow and Daryl is the one to look up close everyone else stays back a way at first and he is also the only one to go into the tent.  And guess what’s sitting on a cooler out the front of the tent? It’s a can of dog food! Wow so either Daryl or Dwight or both are going to come across a camp in connection to finding Beth, the pattern keeps pointing to that. In this instance Daryl does go into the tent and there is a skeleton of someone who opted out, this skeleton has in its hand a small hand gun the same as Beth carries in S4 which she gets from the prison. Lori is the one to take this particular gun with her to the prison in S3.

Interesting that Beth once had a desire to opt out but she chose to live, killing that part of her. So it’s very possible that a reinterpretation of this location leads to a clue for Daryl that leads to Beth, it may even be that he finds Heath in a loop of this camp site location with Dwight.

Again Heath and the PPP card found by Tara after Heath disappeared, is just a sign that his story will be a repeat of Beth’s but softer. So while her story leads to her being gone for 3 seasons, Heath’s will be softer version and he will be missing for just one season. (Remember PPP for level 2)

The next scene the church bells start ringing and Daryl says “come on” and starts running towards the sound. They find the church and run to it, the bells have stopped by now but the sign out the front Says Southern Baptist church and a small sign next to that “bikers welcome” (Dwight, Daryl?, Saviors? .It Could point to any or all of these being present when Beth is first found.)

This is where she will be found by Daryl a church loop location and guess what? Well a certain site also posted this picture of a S8 filming site.

    They go into the church and the first thing we see is Jesus on the cross as the doors open, in S2 Shane makes a point of saying to Rick “It’s the wrong church Rick, this one doesn’t have a steeple” The bells had stopped ringing by the time they first see and get to the church so Shane is convinced this is not the church where Sofia will be ringing the bells.  

We then see three walkers sitting in the pews, Rick and Shane kill one each and Daryl goes for the only female blond walker and he even makes a kissing sound to it before killing it. (Pointing to a possible kissing scene for Beth and Daryl at their reunion?) Very possible!

Rick even kills his walker the same way he kills Gareth in Father G’s church S5 yet another loop. It’s going to be at this second location after Daryl has found a clue in a spot prior that he finds Beth (Just like finding Glenn led Rick back to his family, we may well see Heath lead Daryl to Beth)

Daryl asks Jesus on the cross if he’s taking requests. Well actually yes Daryl he is and you will get your little cottontail back! Interesting the bells start ringing again after he says this and so he runs outside and around the side of the church is the speaker with a timer attached to the bells. Daryl says “timer, it’s on a timer” so you might have to wait a bit till the right loop (time) comes around but it will come around.

Interesting the number of times the bells ring in total is 3.

And Season 8 will bring a church with a steeple.

But let’s skip back to Morgan and Rick again as there is a little more I want to cover about them

Morgan says to Rick “the Fever would have killed you by now”

Whatever they were doing to Beth at Grady hospital was not all as it seems they were using people as guineapigs (Which DR Stevens AKA DR Jenner take 2, gave to Beth and she ate it in S5

Many in TD think it’s likely the cast on her arm is covering a bite; Merle and Amy in S1 are representations of this arm injury and getting separated from loved ones.

The clues to Beth getting bit are reinforced by Morgan who is so persistent to Rick, asking him, “did you get bit, chewed, scratched anything?”

When just looking at his wound which Morgan did as he changed the bandage, would make it quite clear it did not look like a bite or scratch so why so insistent? He also knows that the “fever would have killed him by now” so why bother with all this conversation? Well because Beth’s story is going to loop back around and be the equal opposite to this scene and fill in the unseen parts.

The start of sheriff story (Beth’s story) began in S4E13 just like Rick but switched around 134 (the sheriff car numbers) and for Beth S4E13 (Alone) is when she got bit just before the Grady cops took her, if you go back and watch the end of Alone, slab town and even consumed 506 where carol is a representation or ghost even (For level 2 please remember ghost symbolism is related to any character that is missing or thought to be dead) of Beth in many parts of consumed and even gets an arm injury and is then taken by the Grady cops but gets out alive.

In all these episodes you will find many clues pointing to the fact she was bit.

Jim in S1E05 is another clue relating to Beth and Daryl possibly in S9 as he gets bit on the stomach, it’s quite a clean wound compared to most bites we see on this show it’s just like teeth marks not a big chunk missing, the funny thing about Jims story is that no one in the camp knows he got bit until way later, oh and just to add to the crazy he gets bit in the same place where Rick gets shot and when the group try to get him to show them the wound he picks up a shovel to try and get them to back off, here they are linking the 4 different wounds/incidents that Rick and Beth will get! They get him to drop the shovel and he keeps repeating to them “I’m ok, I’m ok” over and over while showing them the bite.

Funny thing next is that Daryl wants to put a pick axe in Jims head (before he is even dead or turned) he says something very interesting “I say we put a pick axe in his head, end the dead girls and be done with it” his referencing Jim, Andrea and Amy here as Amy has just died from her bites but hasn’t turned yet and Andrea won’t leave her side and is in a catatonic state almost, she won’t let anyone else touch Amy’s body, but if you think about it he is also taking about Beth as each one here is telling her story just as she is finishing off theirs.

I have a feeling that once it’s made know that Beth has a bite even though it happened a long time ago, that someone (not Daryl) will want to kill her. Think back to S7E10 when Daryl is defending Carol to Richard it’s going to be like that scene but this time the story will loop to be with Beth. (Daryl even says to Richard “if she gets hurt, dies, catches a fever, gets taken out by a walker, hit by lightning, anything I’ll kill you”

Well even though he is talking about Carol here, all these things can loop back around to Beth but backwards. She literally will be extremely lucky (odds of getting hit by lightning are probably similar better even to surviving a bullet to the head and also a walker bite in the zombie apocalypse) She will be bit by a walker which would normally lead to a fever but won’t die, she “dies” from the bullet to the head but is actually just hurt. 

Back to Rick and Jim,

Rick says “Jim is not a monster or a rabid dog, his sick, if we start down that path where do we draw the line”

Daryl “lines pretty clear no tolerance for walkers or them to be”

Rick “what if we can get him help? I heard the CDC (God/Jesus - level 3 Rabbit hole) was working on a cure”

Shane “I heard that too, heard a lot of things before the world went to hell”

Rick: “what if the CDC’s still up and running?”

Shane “man that is a stretch right there”

Rick “why?, if there’s any government, any structure left at all, they’d protect the CDC at all costs, I think it’s our best shot. Shelter, protection, rescue”

Shane “I want that to, but if those things exist they’d be at the at the amy base in fort Benning”

Lori “that’s 100 miles in the opposite direction” Shane “that is right, but it’s away from the hot zone”

Rick continues on to say the CDC is the groups best chance and Jims, Daryl says “you go looking for aspirin, someone’s got to have some balls and take care of this damn problem” he then gets the pick axe and starts moving towards Jim but Rick and Shane pull guns on him and say “we don’t kill the living”.

So someone is going to come very close to killing Beth because of the bite she has (possibly Dwight), but someone else (most likely Daryl and Rick) will stop them.

After this the group start heading out to the CDC, Jim is still alive but getting worse and is in the RV. Rick comes to see him and he wants to be left by the side of the road as the travelling is horrible for him, they leave him by a tree, the group one at a time comes up to him to say goodbye, Rick offers him the small handgun that Daryl had picked up in the tent (Beth’s gun/cure) but Jim says no you will need it, Daryl is the last one to come and doesn’t say a word to Jim but looks at him for a very long time. Then walks away… We never see what happens to Jim the group drives off and that’s it.

This is Jim’s Story but will also be Daryl’s and Beth’s, As I mentioned in previous parts I believe that Daryl will eventually get the poison arrow story line (possibly in S9) and it will be a loop of Jim from S1

Jim says no to the gun being left with him but I have a feeling that when this loops back around to Daryl’s story it will be Beth’s’ cure that he is offered and he won’t say no. Jim’s bite is also in the same spot that Daryl gets the arrow in S3.

Jim says he wants to be left and to be with his family, they are all dead so he wants to be too, well if they do play this out with Daryl at some point the show for a time may well make it look like Mr Dixon is dead/dying/gone but he won’t be and again this will most likely be late in S9 as the funeral home loop pointed back too but we will have to keep an eye out for more clues relating to this.

After this but before the group arrives at the CDC we see a Clip of Dr Jenner making video lab notes, he is talking about how it’s been 194 days since wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global. What’s 194 – 63 well it just so happens it’s 131. Does anyone remember Beth’s 30 days without an accident sign? Oh and also the Sanctuary’s 101 days without an accident sign? Well add them together and what do you get? Yep that’s right 131. This is a representation of the pattern.  coda000coda.

Jenner goes on to say he can’t sleep living under ground doesn’t help not knowing if its day or night, a reference back to Shane’s light switch comments, good VS bad.

Then he ends transmission and this little beauty come on the screen.

Wildfire M583417

Translation but backwards because Beth story will be going backwards to this: So it should read Music 714385

Season 7 ends (Coda) which will be the marker for the music to play going backwards again (playing music backwards).

1 is again relating to Ricks reunion and as I said we will then see Beth’s reunion first.

4 is relating to Beth’s Story while she is looking for her family

3 how she survived being shot (the 143 are again also the car numbers and Pi just in a different order)

8 what was really happening at Grady

5 when she first arrived and was bit, what they did to her (8-5 will tell the missing story)

Beth is Wildfire number 2, Rick was number one but number 2 will bring the cure.

We then see Jenner in the lab working on a cure; he has a piece of frozen flesh which is labeled test subject 19.

Knowing that Beth was 18 possibly closer to 19 when her and Daryl left the prison together I’m wondering if this is an indicator of the test subjects age. And also the season the cure will be completed and ready to give to others in S9

Jenner spills some acid on it and has to evacuate the lab, which then is automatically programmed to burn and destroy everything so the test material is gone (Indicating that Beth won’t stay at Grady long and the Dr will not be happy about it)

After the lab burns everything, we then see Jenner doing another video blog, he is drinking and looking upset. He says “the TS 19 test samples are gone; the tragedy of their loss cannot be overstated, they were our freshest samples by far, none of the other samples we got even came close”.

In the corner of the camera B2dAA-Zone5Atl

Zone 5 Atlanta really? I mean come on!!!

S5 Atlanta Beth 2nd Wildfire or test subject (the AA? well you’re going to have to wait till Level 2 to find out about that)

The group finally arrive at the CDC AKA Grady, they get to the doors and its shut up tight (just like the funeral home and Grady) they knock and T-dog says ‘there’s nobody here’ Rick “then why are these shutters down” Daryl yells “walkers” and the ladies start panicking.

Daryl gets really angry here and starts yelling at Rick that he lead them into a graveyard and it was the wrong decision to come. I’m thinking that in future events he will be yelling these things at Tyrese instead as he will think Tyrese’s plan got Beth Killed.

The group starts panicking as its getting dark and they all want to leave but Rick sees a camera move and knows someone is in there. The others don’t believe him and tell him he imagined it. (Someone may well see Beth move but the others won’t believe them and since they think the bullet went through her brain they won’t think she is a walker) Shane says” Rick if it did man, it’s an automated devise, it’s just gears winding down man lets go” (So it’s very possible that someone else will say it’s just Beth’s nervous system twitching) Rick starts yelling at the camera “let us in or you’re killing us” as Shane tries to drag him away. Its then that the doors suddenly open and the most blinding light we have ever seen on this show shines on all of them, they all squint their eyes and we see the group from behind they are facing the light and so is the camera, Rick is front and centre in the middle of the door the light shining all around, the light keeps getting brighter and brighter until the screen is just bright white light, nothing else can be seen its so bright. End of episode.

The light absolutely reminds me of the S7 poster and the light Rick is holding which also happens to be in the shape of a cross. And what’s around the cross made of light? Circles.

    Added extra here: We find out that Dr Jenner in S1E06 shot his test subject 19 in the head after they turned. Here Jenner shoots the test subject because they turned but I have a feeling that Dr Edwards was the one to shoot Beth and he did it to stop Beth from leaving so he could still use her blood and body as a test subject to stop others from turning. 

The loops continue on so much so that I could write about this for years, but I think you get the idea in regards to this show now and so with all this in mind I want to move on to the next stage.

Congratulation you made it to the End of Rabbit hole Level one.

I hope your brain is still partly un-melted, because I need some of it intact so I can continue melting it in Level 2 and 3 stay tuned.

Thank for taking the time to read team defiance I hope you enjoyed part 1.

 Angel

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Prince you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Amycus Carrow!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

There was so much obvious love and thought that you put into Amycus that your entire application was so beautiful to read through (although heartbreaking and terrifying at times too!) You crafted a villain who we can sympathize with, and gave Amycus a humanity that others might’ve failed at. We think that his relationship to his family, his father and Alecto in particular, was really well explored -- and you gave us a firm grasp on who Amycus is in a way that brought him to life before our eyes. We’re so happy you decided to apply and we can’t wait to see Amycus on the dash! *your faceclaim change to Ben Barnes has been accepted 

application beneath the cut ( tw: gore, torture, abuse, murder, etc.) 

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Prince 19 he/him

ACTIVITY

7/10 I work about half the day so I’m free early afternoon on/weekends.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

the marauders rp tag, promo blog. was in this rp like, ~7-8 months ago??

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

I don’t remember much since it’s been such a long time since reading. I know I definitely always had a soft spot for Neville when reading the books though.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Here you can tell us everything else you have in mind like questions, concerns, notations or anything else you can think of

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Amycus Aldrich Carrow

Amycus; Amykos, Latinized as Amycus, in legend was the son of Poseidon and the Bithynian nymph Melia. He was a boxer and King of the Bebryces; killed ina boxing match.

Aldrich; A name meaning ‘a wise and aged ruler.’ With such a name, his family expects and predicts great things of their boy. He will one day be powerful, so very strong.

Carrow; “Carrow” in Norfolk, or “Carraw” in Northumberland. The first is assumed to have its name derived from the Old English word “carr”, meaning “rock”, and a word of Celtic origin; “hoh”, meaning “spur of a hill”.  

FACE CLAIM

Xavier Dolan, Ben Barnes, Mikkel Jensen

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I’ve played Amycus for, about a year’s worth, on and off, and I enjoy him because he’s his own person but also has the ‘dynamic’ of having a twin, and living/making decisions not only for himself but sometimes for the both of them, or having them being treated as ‘the same’ by others, because they are twins. Like, it’s interesting to have a character so closely linked to Amycus. And I love exploring his family dynamic bc he’s one of the characters that doesnt really have a ‘set’ past in canon, so there’s so many different ways he could end up because of what his life was like as he grew up.

—

Amycus could say his childhood had been. Interesting. Born the male of a pair of twins, he was favored, and it wasn’t hidden. He was given the love and attention his sister was denied, and the words that best described his as a toddler were ‘spoiled brat’. He grew up learning he could have whatever he wanted, and that ‘no’ didn’t really mean ‘no’, not to someone with power and money like him. Though his parents weren’t entirely interested in raising children. They wanted an heir to the family and had no time or patience to deal with a growing child, let alone two. A lot of Amycus’ childhood was spent playing his sister and hiding from his tutors and nannies.

Amycus was very young when he realized what the world was like. His father had never been a pleasant person, and the nights he would drink were the nights the whole family suffered by his hands. He and his sister learned the world was ‘dog eat dog’, and many dog eaters looked like humans. They learned to be vicious and bare their teeth at others. As they got older, they learned it wasn’t enough to look scary; you had to be scary. They must pit themselves against the world or die trying. Fear of his father and reality of the world drove Amycus to learn to defend himself, in anyway he should need to. Amycus learned to defend himself, he needed to be the monster he was afraid of, and very readily embraced it.

Amycus learned to be vicious, as did his sister, but didn’t learn to hide it behind polite smiles and good manners as she did. The words that best described him as a young teen were ‘cruel monster’. Amycus was mean, he was a sadistic monster that choked kids until their eyes pleaded with him for their lives, whose pranks turned from mean letters to disemboweled pets as Christmas presents. The voices that coo words to him in his head remind him what a monster he is. Sometimes, the voices are quiet, and Amycus is never sure whether he’s glad for the silence, or is afraid of it.

Amycus has dragged himself down into a rotten little hole now, which he knows will one day make his grave. His time in school in Slytherin house led to him to making friends with other ‘bad’ children, and is where he found his interest in the Dark Arts. Now working with the Death Eaters, Amycus has found a place where he feels more accepted, though he still garners dirty looks with his bloodied hands and maddened grins.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Amycus will sleep with whomever says yes. He’s not picky by any means whatsoever. Sex is sex, after all. A means to an end. Amycus identifies loosely as a cis-male, and prefers he/him pronouns but also answers to they/them as he’s used to being addressed as a pair along side Alecto. If he had the information, he’d probably identify something closer to agender, but as that’s all very abstract and not widely shared information at this time, he’s simply content with being called a male.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Quotes and lyrics: -  “When the Fox hears the Rabbit scream he comes a-runnin’; but not to help.” – Mason Verger - “Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time. Are we not created in his image?” –Hannibal Lecter - “ I love you crookedly because my heart’s been unhinged from birth. The doctors gave me strict instructions not to fall in love: my fragile clockwork heart would never survive.  “ –Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart -“ In the end You dig yourself the hole you’re in” –Dig Your Own Hole -“  God, I pity the violins In glass coffins they keep coughing They’ve forgotten, forgotten how to sing ” –All The Rowboats

headcanons;

-Amycus is surprisingly good at memorizing spells, and knows quite a few charms and curses, more than the average students learned at Hogwarts. He’s had a few private tutors at the behest of his father, and read quite a few books on magic in his spare time. He’s very good at martial magics, and can sustain a Fiendfyre for quite a long time without losing it’s control. -Amycus is photosensitive, and often gets migraines from being in the light for too long. Thus, he prefers being a night owl, or at least avoiding being outside, especially if it’s a sunny or bright day. He likes keeping his room and as much of the house dark as he can, which makes the place look pretty gloomy. -Due to very little social interaction beyond his sister as a child, Amycus has a hard time understanding sarcasm, and often take’s other’s opinions in a very ‘black and white’ way. He thinks people either like him, or hate him, and there’s no in between. Also, people are either angry with him, or enjoy him; he has a hard time knowing if he’s upset people, and struggles to read into tone of voice and other social cues. -Amycus is rather paranoid about noise, and enjoys the quiet. He very often moves around to avoid noise, and is easily set off into distress or anger over loud noises. He’s most afraid of the sound of footsteps, as it reminds him of the sound of his parent’s coming down the halls of their home as a child. -It’s more likely than not Amycus lies somewhere on the Autism Spectrum, but his parents only considered him a fussy child. Even he doesn’t think he’s autistic, mainly because mental illness is stigmatized and not talked about, especially among wizarding communities. -Amycus has schizoaffective disorder, and cycles between intense depressions and manias. He suffers from auditory hallucinations that started to develop during his time in school, and soon after he started having visual hallucinations, though those are much more uncommon to him. -Amycus is a very physical person and enjoys being able to touch objects or other people, but understands personal boundaries. He won’t continually touch those who’ve expressed discomfort about it. When idle, he often likes having something to hold on hold onto, or to be held himself. He wears heavy jackets often, even in the heat, because the weight of it on his shoulders is comforting. -Amycus usually has his wand up one of his sleeves strapped his his forearms; mainly to his right as he’s a left handed person. He also often carries a switchblade on him. Amycus often wanders off into the Muggle parts of town, and fighting with a knife leaves less clues to point back to him than using magic against them. Though due to his temper, he’s been known to try and stab anyone who upsets him, even other wizards.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“Some kind of…Weaker Cruciatus maybe. I mean, hey, a good Cruciatus is great. But sometimes you only need a little, something to push someone off the edge. You have to stop a Cruciatus to get people to talk. Something a little less strong, you could torture them and get ‘em to give up whatever you want. Wouldn’t that just, be great?”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“Alecto, obviously. But it’d probably be her fault, why we’d be going into the Forest anyway. And bring. Well, besides my wand, how about Alecto’s wand? It doesn’t work the best, for me at least. But it’s something, isn’t it? And it’s not my wand so it’s not breaking the rules, huh? Twins don’t count.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“Very, puzzle like decisions. Where people want to trick you with their words. Saying one thing, meaning something that’s not what they said. People make things so much more complicated than they should be, almost all the time. Bullshit.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“That I’m the worse twin. Just look at Alecto. I’m even, better looking. There literally can’t be any way that I’m worse. I’m very obviously the better twin. Who would even think twice about it? Huh? Even Alecto knows, I’m the better one. Though she won’t admit it. Which makes her worse. She’s too up her own ass to see it, really. ”

WRITING SAMPLE

—Amycus hissed and withdrew his hands from the piano when it shocked him, looking over his shoulder at his father. “Start over.” Darius replied, leaving Amycus to quietly turn back to the piano and begin the piece again. The boy got tripped up at the same spot, and was shocked once more by the piano. He bit his tongue to keep from whimpering, and without being told started from the beginning. The third time he was able to play it, but only a few bars past made another mistake. He yelped when the shock hit him, and this time he turned to look at Darius. “Father.” The man stopped his pacing to stare at his son, and Amycus did his best not to let his voice falter, “Please, I-It’s very hard to continue learning the piece if I have to start again at every mistake. I w-won’t get good at the end if I only play the beginning, sir.”

“If you paid more attention to what you were doing, perhaps you wouldn’t have to begin again so many times.” Darius quipped back, leaving Amycus deflated. He bit his tongue again and gripped the piano bench tightly. After a few moments he turned back to the piano to continue playing. The nine year old could only endure the harsh treatment for so much longer, and after about another half hour Amycus stood abruptly after being shocked, the piano bench scraping across the ground. He stood with his hand balled into little fists, tears in his eyes and just beginning to tremble. “Sit down.” Darius warned with a hiss.

“No!” Amycus snapped back, glaring at his father with teary eyes, “I don’t wanna play anymore!” The boy began storming away to the door, and just before he reached for the handle he was thrown to the ground harshly, landing on his side. “I said sit down.” Darius had his wand raised and slowly moved to stand over his son. Amycus was crying by now, getting back to his feet slowly.

He stood there and hung his head, and just as his father began to speak again, Amycus shoved him as hard as he could and bolted out the door. Darius stumbled back a bit and almost fell in surprise, then snarled and yanked the door all the way open to storm into the hall. “Amycus!” He screamed at his son, who was just barely scrambling down the stairs out of sight. Amycus made it to the front hall, fumbling with the locks on the door. When he opened the door he only got one foot outside before he ran headfirst into his father who had Apparated in front of him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Darius hissed. Amycus sobbed, crying out when he was dragged back to his feet by his arm, feebly attempting to pull himself from his father’s grip as he was dragged across the marble floor in the front hall. His feet scrambled for purchase as he tried to stop his father from dragging him, screaming and tossing himself around like a trapped animal. Amycus was close to hyperventilating now, body shaking with fear as he desperately tried to escape his father. His head turned at the creaking of a door and he saw her there; Alecto stood in the door way, expressionless and staring. Blank empty eyes looked into his own as he began pleading for Alecto to help him, but his pitiful cries seem to fall on deaf ears as the girl didn’t so much as blink as her brother was dragged through the basement’s door.

Amycus knew what an Unforgivable curse was before any of his friends.

—Amycus stormed past his mother as he walked through the front door of the Carrow Manor, dropping his suitcases with a harsh clatter and climbing the stairs two at a time, quickly making his way to his room. He slammed the door behind himself and moved to stand in the middle of the room. He shook with anger, his nails biting into his palm as he made white-knuckled fists. It’s not fair. Why couldn’t he stay? All of his friends got to stay at school over break, but he had to go home. Amycus stormed to his dresser and swept his arm across the top, knocking everything to the ground and letting anything glass shatter. It’s not fucking fair! Why the hell should he be home? He fucking hated it here, and both his parents knew it. The boy strode to his desk and threw the chair aside, throwing the journals and books to the ground and chucking the inkpot at a wall. Ever since he began attending Hogwarts, Amycus had loathed returning home for winter vacation, and especially for summer vacation. He never wanted to be home anymore. He never wanted to be around his father.  

“You’re upsetting your mother, if you insist on throwing a fucking tantrum like a child, I’ll-” Darius yelled as he swung the door open, and a picture frame very narrowly avoided his head and shattered against the wall behind him. “Fuck you!” Amycus screamed, grabbing a book from the shelves next to his desk to throw at his father as well. “You fucking wanted me home! I’m here! What the fuck did you expect, father?” the boy’s tone was mocking, and he shrieked with pain when hit with a Cruciatus Curse. The fourteen year old crumpled to the ground writhing in agony as white hot pain shot through him.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that you ungrateful mongrel!” Darius snarled at his son. Amycus could only scream, the pain terribly overwhelming. The Cruciatus Curse was more powerful the more hatred the user felt. The pain made him want to black out. The teen laid on the floor struggling to breathe when the curse was lifted, making no move to get up when his door was slammed close. Amycus laid on the floor for another hour, his body aching too much to move.

One night soon after, Amycus waited until late to leave his room, to make his way down to the kitchen. He grabbed the biggest knife he could find and took the back door into the yard, walking across the wet lawn in the moonlight. He grimaced at the sting of the cold, only wearing his pajamas and socks in the freezing weather. It took most of his strength to push open the door to the stables, and it took no time to walk over to the stall. Amycus stared at the horse, looking at the medals that decorated the wall behind it. Father’s prized racing horse. The stall door was easy to open.

Amycus said nothing as his father walked into the dining hall, staring the man down as his father stopped dead in the doorway. He watched the color drain from the man’s face as he looked at the crudely butchered horse that was strewn across the entirety of the long table. He sat back in his father’s chair, giving his father a cold and hateful stare. “Merry Christmas, father.”

Amycus always got the best gifts at Christmas time.

[felinehypocritical]

what abt like... a rly fluffy sickfic with richie and bill, like richie gets a cold and bill has to take care of him and deal with him sneezing and coughing but still trying to do the Voices even tho his voice is wrecked and making them 10x worse (im a sucker for rly heavy fluff I apologize)

ask and ye shall receive, anon.

Bill pushed the door open hesitantly, padding into the Tozier household with a quiet unknown to the family living in it. He heard Maggie Tozier, from the kitchen, yelling at the television in a manner that he found vaguely frightening.

“Finish him! Finish the son of a- oh, hello, William!” Maggie looked up from the television she was watching, her stylish hair and apron-dress completely offsetting her boorish nature. “Are you here to see Richie?”

“Yuh-yes, Mrs. Tuh-T-Tozier.” Bill looked up with a disarming smile, catching the mother off guard. She’d never seen a thirteen year old boy with even half as much charisma as her son, and this boy surely beat Richard out by a mile. “He d-d-didn’t come to schoo-ool today. I-is he oh-okay?”

The woman looked on in the concern of one who has to listen to a stutterer– it was such a shame, she thought, that such a bright and handsome young boy such as Bill to be cursed with such a thing. He wouldn’t ever get his ideas out with that mouth. “Yes, dear. But I’m afraid he’s-”

Bill was already bounding up the stairs, and he didn’t hear the rest of that sentence. He pushed to door open hurriedly to his friend’s room, dashing in and looking around.

“Ruh-Richie?” He called hesitantly, before his short friend made himself known.

“I’m right here, dingus!” Richie said in a scratchy, very not Richie voice. Bill swung his head around and quickly saw Richie, narrowing his eyes. Richie looked very pallid– well, more pallid than usual- and his black hair popped against his sickly skin. ‘Because that’s what he is,’ Bill realized quickly. ‘The dumbass got sick.’ He smirked.”What, Bill, you wanna take a picture?”

Bill shook his head, only sitting on the side of his bed and looking at Richie with a cocktail of pity and exasperation. “Richie, y-you wet,” he teased. “Wh-who got you sick?”

Richie coughed loudly, a crackling, wet sound that made Bill cringe, and tried out his Toodles the Butler Voice. “Well, just a little old chap down the way, wasn’t it? Or maybe a hun, mmyes? Per’aps it was you, my good man. By God, it WAS you! Someone arrest this man! I say! He’s gotten me, a man of ‘igh esteem, dreadfully, ‘orribly si-” he was cut off by another round of coughs, and Bill drew him into his chest. Richie immediately nestled closer upon contact, burrowing until he was practically flat against his friend. Bill grimaced at the tought of getting Richie-sick on his new shirt, and pounded on Richie’s back.  “It was that bitch Taylor Sullivan,” he admitted. “I was playing ball with him and he dared me to eat the rest of his popsicle, so I did, but I guess he had the flu, because now I’ve, y’know, got it.”

Bill snorted, getting up and looking with a critical eye at Richie. His short, thin body was covered in a Muppets t-shirt that was much too big– so big, in fact, that he’d keep it well into adulthood and it would still hang on him. But especially now, with the hem reaching his scabbed knees, he looked immeasurably small. He was also wearing a pair of gym shorts, but they were only visible when he writhed and squirmed under the pressure of his coughing fits. And yet, in spite of the phlegm and sickness and sneezing, Richie’s lively curly black hair still fanned out in a halo behind his head and his smile was still wide and bright. Bill thought in that moment, in a gross, Richie way, that he looked lovely, laid out on his wrinkled covers with his tousled hair and pink cheeks. The illusion was broken when he opened his mouth.

“Bill,” he said, drawing it out in a grainy, shrill noise. “I want soup.”

“So g-get some sou-oup,” Bill said, amiably enough.

Richie pouted and shook his head. “No, no– soup from YOU.”

“I’m n-nuh-not fetching you suh-soup, Rich.”

He fell back on his bed, gagging and pretending to choke dramatically. “Yes you will! You because I’m dying! Do you want me to die? Don’t you LOVE me?”

Bill shook his head. “Sometimes I’m not so sure…”

Except he was. He loved Richie with all his heart and soul, just as he loved the Losers, but… Different. The way he knew Ben loved Beverly, but less… Mushy. He was thirteen, after all, and mushy things such as romance didn’t exactly cross his mind, especially when in the question of his best GUY friend. Bu he couldn’t deny how he felt. And, after all, he always reasoned. If no one knows, does it really matter? No. And certainly, nobody knew.

Richie sat up. “Oh, you love me, you tricksy Billy goat, you.”

“S-stop calling me Buh-b-buh-hilly goat.”

“Stop being so stubborn and get me some soup.”

They stared a eachother for a moment, Bill’s face set and irritated, Richie’s smug and defiant, before Richie sighed dramatically. “FINE, I guess. Your loss, I would have let you feed me.”

“Oh, b-boy,” Bill replied. “I shuh-sure am mih-hissing out.”

“Indeed you are, mushmouth…” Richie looked Bill up and down, seemingly with approval, before continuing: “come up here and cuddle me.”

Bill jumped back. “N-no way! Y-you’re sick!”

“That, true, that’s true.” Richie pretended to be in deep contemplation, touching his hands to his nose before pointing them at Bill. “So… get up here, or…?”

Bill sighed, knowing there was only one way to stop him from whining more.

He climbed up to Richie, flipping him over, before sliding in behind him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He threaded the other hand through Richie’s hair, smiling slightly at the interested sound he made before starting to brush it out. The snarls caught between his fingers, but Richie didn’t seem to mind. Bill felt happy, content, carefree… Until Richie started to cough. He began to convulse, as usually happens with strong coughs, and his whole body moved Bill’s as well. He arched his back away from Bill in an attempt to get free, and Bill thumped on his back until he stopped.

“B-Buh-Better?” Bill asked, looking concernedly at Richie. Was he okay? What was wrong with this kid?

Richie coughed one last time, before looking at Bill seductively from beneath his eyelids and tried out a sultry, Jessica Rabbit like voice that just sounded like RIchie talking through a mouthful of gravel and syrup. “Now that you’re here, sweets.”

Bill pushed him off, laughing slightly and turning the other way. Richie quickly flopped over, hugging the taller boy tight and making Bill grin wider at the feeling of Richie’s arms and legs snake around him and hold tight. Richie might be an idiot… but he was a sick idiot.

Bill’s sick idiot.

[thedesperatehousehusband]

Academy Awards For Everyone!!!

It’s a wonderful night for Oscar. Oscar. Oscar. Who will win?? I can’t take credit for that line. It’s a Billy Crystal line from his 140,000 times of hosting the Oscars. Also known as the Academy Awards. It’s time, Lord.

We started the show with Justin Timberlake doing his thing. It was fine. He needs to learn to lip sync better. And what was Jessica Biel wearing? Was that thing around her neck jewelry or part of the dress? She actually looked like an Oscar statue.

Jimmy Kimmel. He’s not for the Oscars. He doesn’t care. But he’s funny as fuck. His monologue was great. I loved when he made fun of Matt Damon. The fake feud between Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel has been going on for like 11 years or some shit. That’s hilarious. And that recent movie that Matt Damon is in does actually like a steaming pile of horse dung. I thank Jimmy Kimmel for saying so.

Thanks GAWD Mahershala Ali won for Moonlight. That movie is remarkable and, let’s face it, the Oscars can’t deal with another racial controversy. #oscarssowhite no more. I’m joking a lot, a lot, a lot. Mahershala Ali 100% was my choice. His portrayal of “Juan” was wonderful , inspiring, raw, real and his presence was felt long after his character wasn’t on screen anymore.

Halle Berry’s hair is uncalled for. What is wrong with her?

You can’t go wrong with either Kate McKinnon or Jason Bateman. I gotta tell you. If I had a “list”, Jason Bateman would be on it. Good for Suicide Squad for winning an Oscar for Make Up. It’s all you’re gonna get. And Colleen Atwood seemed really surprised. Bless her heart. Bitch, you get nominated errrrrry year for your costumes. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them had some good ass costumes.

That girl from Moana did a fine job. She got through it. She worked it out.

God bless the French man from Arrival who won for Sound Editing. That movie was terrific. We really loved it. Hacksaw Ridge won for Sound Mixing. I’ve probably said this before but I can’t fucking remember year to year what I talk about in this posts. But I don’t have a clue what the difference is between Sound Mixing and Sound Editing. In one do the fart noises sound better? We can’t see Hacksaw Ridge. Mel Gibson is the demon spawn of Satan and we cannot support him. Regardless of whether or not the movie is amazing.

Mark Rylance, that hat is ridiculous. You’re better than that. What is wrong with him?

VIOLA DAVIS! Girl came dressed to win. That dress is insane. The shoes. THE SHOES. But let’s just talk about her role in Fences. She completely owned that role. You could feel every bit of the pain she felt and the ordinary struggle of being a black housewife in the 1950s. Love, love, love that she won.

The movie from Iran won best Foreign Film. The director couldn’t/wouldn’t come (I’m truly not sure which) due to the travel ban and the continued foolishness of the Orange One. Making a statement by not showing up. That’s a good statement. Plus then your Oscar got accepted by Shirley MacLaine. Because that doesn’t happen every day.

This song by Sting is a real sleeper. I suppose it’s an important message but the song is bland. Trudie Styler has been nipped and tucked to an extreme degree.

I don’t know what to think of Hailee Steinfeld’s dress. It sort of looks cool but it sort of looks like Saran Wrap. I think she’s too young to wear that dress. Zootopia just won for Best Animated Feature. Good for Disney. It was such a great movie. Funny, touching, poignant and includes voiceover work from Jason Bateman. That’s why it won.

OK. I literally cannot with Dakota Johnson’s dress. So because you’re in a movie about bondage and sexy shit you decide to wear a dress that looks like you’re one of the mole people on Kimmy Schmidt? Jesus Christ. That fabric. Is it from Dollar General? Who is this kookie couple from La La Land who is giving a boring ass speech about production design and set decoration? The conductor is right to play them off. Potentially the most lifeless speech ever.

So Jimmy Kimmel is good for a good prank or a gag. This business with the Hollywood tour bus that then showed up randomly at the Oscars was brilliant. I love good comedy bits. It’s good fun.

Halle Berry. You look ridiculous.

Michael J. Fox. Things don’t seem great. Ugh. I don’t like to see it. Heartbreaking beyond belief. I have a fair amount of continued surprise over the lack of wins for La La Land. With the Editing award just went to Hacksaw Ridge. Which at this point has one more awards than La La Land. I just do not care about this movie one iota. I’d sooner have explosive diarrhea than watch this movie.

Well, I guess Meryl Streep is not interested in making an impassioned speech tonight. That’s fine. The Prez doesn’t have anything better to do than to Tweet about actresses who are critical of him. What a narcissistic asshat. La La Land deserves to win for Cinematography.

Mean Tweets! Yes. This bit is so smart and hilarious on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Robert DeNiro….and soon I’ll be playing great-grandfather roles. Fuck you. Totes brillz.

Color me surprised. La La Land won for Score. Stop it. An original movie musical won an award for MUSIC at the Oscars?

What is on Scarlett Johansson’s head? Because it can’t be hair. That dress is too much. I don’t care for it. Woo hoo! La La Land gets the Original Song award too. It’s taken a few hours bur La La Land is finally picking up steam.

Jennifer Anniston wears that dress every time. But I don’t care. She knows what works for her and it looks outstanding. Love her to pieces. She’s America’s sweetheart. Sara Bareilles did a lovely job with the In Memoriam segment.

OMG. Jimmy Kimmel is relentless with Matt Damon. Talking about how We Bought a Zoo was his favorite movie then trying to play him off while he and Ben presented Original Screenplay. I have to tell you I’m stunned that Kenneth Lonergan won for Manchester By the Sea. It was such a hard movie. Hard to watch. Hard to enjoy. But remarkably well done.

Amy Adams looks like Jessica Rabbit. And that’s a good thing. Moonlight wins for Adapted Screenplay. I think there’s been some hullabaloo about this film being in this category but who cares? It was a great movie and a moving script. Great speeches. “For the the next four years, we got you.” Yes. Yes. Yes. This shit……it’s too much.

Oh, Lord. Her she is. Halle Berry and that hair. It seems to be growing and morphing through the course of the night. I think it might be alive. I’m elated that Damien Chazelle won. He’s a creative force. He should be honored for this film and will likely be honored for other films in the future.

Uh oh. Brie Larson has lost some weight. She’s fading way into the background. I really want Casey Affleck to win Best Actor. I just don’t know that he will. We shall see. In about 45 seconds. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m over the moon. Manchester By the Sea is a terribly difficult film to get through but Casey Affleck is the roots. The heart of the film. I know there’s other shit going down. I’m OK keeping that separate. Was it just me or did Denzel not look pleased? I think he thought he was gon win.

Leo looks like he bathed. Bless his heart. He often looks unclean. Yay!!!!!!!!! Emma Stone is a talent and completely adorable. I love her in anything.

And Best Picture is………….La La Land. Of course it is! I don’t care what anyone says about the ending. I simply loved this movie. CORRECTION! CORRECTION! Apparently if you go to bed in less than 45 seconds after the announcement of Best Picture, there might be a kerfuffle. HOLY COW! What a mess up. I can’t even believe it. Moonlight won. Evidently, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had the Best Actress envelope and that’s why Warren Beatty was confused. I’ll tell you I’m perfectly fine with Moonlight. It was the movie that most moved me and stayed with me. What a clusterfuck. 

And good night. It’s time for bed. It’s really fucking late.

[batterymonster2021]

"The Plague" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 6 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-plague-father-ted-series-2-episode-6-dead-parrot-5/

"The Plague" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 6 | Dead Parrot

Oh god man i’m such an e just I put the brief on my head happening Mikey Brandon you fairly are a significant phony it can be literally rough now not stop the pal Indonesian god i know anybody just like Ben large pickle come on you two just about there it is been creepy into some thing for goodness sake Jane there’s nothing out right here that might probably harm there’s no anywhere oh he is great is not he he is all right does he have a name no i don’t suppose so the lady within the pet shop didn’t mention one anyway I don’t know who’s Ted that is a good name for a rabbit no i do not suppose that’s a excellent concept can we you are forgetting i am referred to as head as good I would call you father Ted no severely do you must give you some thing just a little more common hi there father’s lordly design however mrs.Doyle is not a good name for rubbish you want whatever like popsie or Bruce okay wait I’ve obtained one you see the way he’s got tremendous floppy ears they are flopping in every single place the position yeah good why do not we name them father Jack Hackett ideal father jacket is what nothing father Zubaz named his new rabbit after you what we all right father Jack what he is not talking to you father he is talking to the rabbit why I think father Jack wishes a drink thanks thanks possibly dropping getting struggle for our truth Dubin that is getting a ways too confusing ahead I’ve acquired used to calling him father Jack could we no longer call father Jack whatever else grace what we name the mayor slipper slipper paprika yes so dude this is not going to work really it is me Bishop Brennan oh thanks what who is that this there’s no pretty ear god doogal i’m just must feel again to Bishop Brennan oh we won’t like that head might be it can be all right though I placed on a international voices you believe he died the incorrect number sir truly hiya bishop Brennan I consider you acquired the incorrect number when you call there shut up Queenie shut up i’ll make this rapid what would the following phrase advise to you jack sleepwalking and bollock naked no time in the final six months you might have heard of Brian Newman hmm very foremost junior minister and a private buddy of mine and i will be able to inform you the final thing he and his household desires to look is the imaginative and prescient of an elderly priest carrying most effective a pair of socks and no idea around on Thursday to compare the protection arrangements and Crilley yes should you ever attempt to bullshit me like that once more i will rip off your arm Brendan’s coming over to have a word with your father about your nude sleepwalking new deep on deck Jack can you think of any motive why you maybe doing that if you are now not having any doubts about your vocation Ariel what which you can invariably share your problems with us father Dugan and i would continually lend your friendly years now proper Google surely do you wish to have to speak about it now well Ted a biker Grove Oh God go on there Guam boy thank you oh come on oh can we get him into his cage they want bishop brennan singing head he could like him no he would not like him doesn’t like rabbit in any respect why no longer strange story about ten years in the past he was in ny and he obtained trapped within the elevate with about 20 rabbits of the entire night to began nibbling his cape and the whole lot how did they get in I do not know I suppose the ought to have burden you realize rabbits God he can transfer speedy no sweet why do you say that stated simply shut off the ground to me there wait that’s your ass yeah so where does this one come from Ted there is an extra one on Jack’s head you make sure you are not would not get combined up with these other lads all right come on Patrick what’s called sampras like Pete Sampras oh good you realize rabbits tennis you understand that whole connection there all correct and yeah we just released these pheromones into the wild k appears i’m there within the zone without any other rabbit for company you must suppose like Brian Keenan after they took John McCarthy way to another self anyway they get used to us morning father invoice is moved in 40 Ted morning Google what do we do in these days we’ll need to get that rabbit ears out of the way before British brand open door go mad in the event you toss those wrappers across the position right fair enough hope he’s in a excellent temper then can be very frightening you realize when when Robert rabbits the place oh wow the place the hell did they arrive from god it can be like a colossal rabbit rock pageant I feel we simply need to get used to it get used to you have to get the motor equipment earlier than you arrive i’m going to ring the pet save and know it used to be a traveling pet keep there is not going to be back till spring so what are we gonna do wait no no no there may be surely some thing we can do Ted if we no let me see oh simply wait a second they are there and i do know i do know I’ve obtained a Ted scorching right now now the way I see it is that if we wait a 2nd and what what is the main issue once more oh yes yes sure sorry about that i know exactly what to do why don’t we give them to father Larry canine you’re proper he’s perpetually going on about how we’d love to have a few rabbits jogging around the location I used to think used to be just a mad factor to say no Larry i really like Ted how is it striking and hanging pleasant Larry hear every predicament here you consider you were looking for just a few rabbits across the location I do here that’s one in all my possess attempting fantasies i might like to have a couple of hundred rabbits jogging everywhere the location well latest your fortunate day we have now obtained numerous the things oh i am sorry tater will not be ready to take them why now not Larry I noticed the quit on the rabbits notion where it just appeared too a ways-fetched so I bought 12 Rottweilers alternatively make sure rabbits simplest i would be afraid to rock wireless would upset them yeah yes Larry I appreciate bye bye bye Ted oh you’re the dangerous dog don’t you look at me like that little one bad dog he can’t take the gravity’s acquired 12 Rottweilers hiya yeah yeah yeah sure Father proper yes Father we can see them as well Harry japanese the workplace is like Google it’s like some variety of plague a significant rabbit plague i’m wondering if God is punishing us for something perhaps it can be considering I said facta Bishop Brennan God if you happen to send on an epidemic of rabbits simply on account that you stated powerful Bishop Brennan suppose what he’ll do when he finds out about all of the cash you stole from that charity joking that money used to be just resting my account earlier than I moved it on this no it was once strictly a nonprofit making subsidiary ok the mornings are gone it adopted father Jack out of the room mind you I’ve always concept father Jack gave off a style of forty scent perhaps they think he’s some variety of rabid God excellent so if we are able to simply keep Jack out of the way however Bishop Brennan is coming to peer Jack no we are going to have to get rid of them in case you become aware of telepathy Jordan works the greyhound monitor oh yeah name me historic-fashioned but I opt for the more conventional Greyhound fulfilling Roberts method well it can be only a proposal i am tell you what how you gon supply Tom a name he perhaps competent to help us in calling for other no thanks no I’ve acquired 10 pounds driving on that little beauty over there come on Tom it can be simply us hello ma’am my dog tom is aware of about this variety of thing he’d aid hello hello Tom would you love some dewey’s i will be able to do your facility no thanks some other time lifestyles and i think you just a few rabbits for me sure within the auto why is it which worried stated what i’ll do again i don’t fear Lee simply mentioned you take so they connect them all collectively and put them someplace reliable or so he can run around and have a bit of a play so then the most likely nothing to worry about that is what my intellect is aa severe considering the fact that I established let’s get yours an awfully spectacular sword princess Keegan’s rabbit in gadget her within the combat yeah certain yeah i have been flexing right here this time I used to be just sincere like readies legs FL um Tom you realize i’m the phrase deal with anything sure sir good I recognize now that you simply intended that in the type of Al Pacino means I was once pondering extra along the traces of Julie Andrews i don’t wanna say that what fact i might no come on tell which you can never boils if you what no no come true I could run on down Amy van I consider we might higher be off what’s the predicament there side and also you now say kill it off at sorry about that Tom thanks verify it anyway don’t do the run rather spot i am definite it won’t occur once more it is higher no longer monks jogging about within the nude is the last thing that we want yes and as you can see we have established a brand new closed-circuit digital camera and and we now have brought a couple of modifications to Jack’s bed oh yeah sure now this is new isn’t it it can be combined with a spice it makes get away just about impossible and we also have these new pyjamas very easy to position on very have to get off so that’s the historical nudity sorted and you have got a rope i’d like to see him bite by means of that again so within the not likely event of him getting out now we have this monitoring device which will have to provide us an handy recapture after which that fee 50 kilos and might be you would get that again from the diocese simply your cheeks whats up then do not name me Len i am a bishop your grace is more right oh you’re nice correct so anyway another time i’m dragged far from my heat hearth to come and care for the forged of police academy ha ha ha you behave your self now jack you listen to me jack No would you adore a drink your pink eye a small one please thanks my gosh with us folder let’s get the glasses serious very so much mr.Solo software there you might be Bishop Brennan I idea I must inform you your car is parked on slide sure I know it is I talked to them myself it tires look a bit of flat I might supply them a bit of a blow-off for you on the pump no what kind of air do you generally put in them we now have ardently oh that’s all now we have sincerely and if you’re looking for the wipers i have them within the kitchen what it appears like they wanted a bit of wash the one difficulty is it I broke the part window even as I was snapping them off depart my chair by myself and don’t touch it again just one query your grace is your automobile diesel or petrol go away it by myself mrs. Doyle it’s just curiosity your grace diesel is rescissions correct so what’s to not comprehend not occur correct so was it do a terrible quantity of harm of eyeful petrolatum sure it will it will fully damage the vehicle’s engine good I certainly is not going to be doing that boys you must clock up a fair ancient mileage every year going around the diocese doing the historical Bishop kind of fairly relatively anyplace is my room good then yours the spare room your Grace’s it’s the primary on the correct fair enough yeah this lettuce oh no thanks I’ve already had some that you may say no relatively I imply this lettuce the place did it come from it you would not have rabbits to you oh yeah i do not like them in any respect I had an expertise as soon as with any person it wasn’t very fine they get right into a list with me and they began to nibble at my scape and and everything is are you will have without doubt nothing to fear about your grace no that is simply the place we am where we develop to – you you develop lettuce indoors in a cage it is safer you know i’m no one can steal asunder good loved it brightens up the room and coolant is that this that’s them caviar caviar sure well it is not daily we’ve got a bishop around so we’ve got helped me get the caviar out proper so what you’ve performed is you may have spread some caviar down there so i can get down on my arms and knees and ease off the ground yes what do you believe i’m obviously a pony run to my bed I just put them google toboni hahaha a particularly reliable head fear nothing bet it is just about like the variety of location you would not even consider of god I do not know oh that small room at the back of the kitchen the cold cellar I bought the shed no hope it’s no longer the shed come on Ted suppose about it the place’s the final place you’d believe I taught them well the final situation I think it is put them can be and would absolutely be Bishop Brennan’s room bingo pirated I put the bunnies in the last position he’d ever expect to seek out it in his own room he’d on no account appeared there you are quality you’re correct particularly fairly what is that this now I simply wouldn’t say the entire bishop thing their place yeah I mean you may have received to get various this I just wish to say good done I mean we’re taught someone from Limerick would get this bar all of the ones you studied inside the seminary all of the other priests they they ought to be feeling lovely ailing on the second they must be watching on the television and long past cut how did that quite it you trap me you are busy nevertheless it’s now not it’s me no person eivol mentioned you’ve gotten a style of a bishop iere about your self i know I similar to to claim can i shake our hand good performed fairly commit to me I hate you so all that suggests without doubt nothing to me maintain on downstairs what occurred would you consider I just fell down the stairs there where are you might be you injured I have no idea why a bit of twinge all right my arm I can not transfer and if you need somebody to name an ambulance i know I think it’s just now not here for a whilst that is in general the high-quality factor for me now we are retired for the rest yeah then oh oh did see a documentary about the Russian i know who the top is atomic bomb to take action much damage i will bed clearly i am alright speak up and discover thank then you discover a rabbit What did he say don’t look I gotta inform you i am he name me on the other hand you deal with me by my correct title you little bollocks man Brennan what is he on about now huh god knows what the opposite now not now doing at the aegis i am nonetheless asking mr.Bishop finds out you’re omit bliss we are going first white I similar to to move to the toilet the entire other toys within the house are damaged it can be simply quantity one i do not work at all oh I needed that but there is no bathroom in here God John where are they they may be not in there we’re gonna recognize that could be a completely rabbit free area well I certainly put them in there Ted wait a minute Jack’s room maybe the scent of them and have to see him one last time suppose you perhaps putting that in a somewhat over romantic approach Duggal book good guess come on protect over your correct keep them right here how do they get in essentially the most erotic no rabbit well we’ve got student shifts get them out the husband’s a long way away of constructive why cannot we simply leave them here in view that Dougal my nerves are shot I will not be equipped to relax unless the only rabbits left is the one sitting to your head working the controls copper’s is aware of more in here seem at this one we look like that fella and harvey keitel completely satisfied content material long gone Google how might a rabbit seem like God Almighty anyway do many sorts of men and women things like that hey the monies are gone oh god the place’s Jackie oh my god not the bishops rope come on do it do not bet perhaps which you could come on come on only a dangerous dream you’re best you