#absurd but in a good and funny way
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Bingewatched an anime this afternoon so here's a quick scribble
#migi to dali#manga is currently being published in france but i got a bit impatient and watched the adaptation#though there are difference w/ the mangas so I'll patiently wait to get them gradually#i don't like reading on screens that much#thank you nami sano for your amazing works you wont be forgotten#loved sakamoto desu ga as well sano's way of picturing a bunch of situations with bodies crooked in impossible ways is ??#absurd but in a good and funny way
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okay but why is this season of the boys such a mess. like. episodes 1 - 5 were actually pretty good (especially 4 and 5, specifically the homelander + hughie and his dad plotlines respectively in those were SO good), then ep 6 was a clusterfuck outside of butcher's stuff, and i kinda thought we were on track for something pretty okay when annie took hughie's assault seriously at the end of the episode only for it to just be brushed off this episode AND hughie gets SA'd AGAIN?????? HELLO?????
#also is it just me but something was. off. about episode 7#the dialogue was clunky#it was shot weird. like idk it didnt feel right but dont ask me to explain#the ashley and a-train stuff was good but homelander firecracker and sage were just. weird#webweaver scene felt unnecessary and a very forced “ohoho homelander kills someone in a gruesome way!”#and the deep subplot was??? okay i guess??? the stuff with the octopus was absurd and funny which was kind of always deep's thing(tm)#but then his fight with annie and everyone was. eh???#oh and kimiko and frenchie#like they were cute as always but. idk. i feel like frenchie's stuff is getting kind of rushed + kimiko having a whole other reason she#doesnt speak felt like it came out of nowhere. but thats a nitpick#anyway yeah idk. ill still watch the next episode since im this deep in but i am NOT optimistic for a good conclusion#the boys#billy butcher#hughie campbell#annie january#kimiko miyashiro#frenchie the boys#homelander#firecracker#the boys s4#the boys spoilers
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Congrats to everyone at @re-dracula on such a masterpiece of an episode. It was emotionally harrowing in the best way possible. Special shout out to everyone involved in the ending song for making such a lovely sounding song with lyrics that made me want to crawl out of my skin in visceral discomfort
#re: dracula#there were so many double meanings and each of them made more more uncomfortable than the last#i understand why some people thought it was funny. the contrast between the genre and the lyrical content is absurd#but holy fuck it felt like someone was speaking in my ear about how they want to assault me and that was just Awful#in a way that good art can make you feel awful#none of that was an insult to the people making the song i'm genuinely impressed
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At this point I don't think Teruki's parents are exceptionally horrible individuals (long-term psychological consequences still happen in cases in which the abuse isn't considered particularly severe + everyone is capable of harm, even "good" people), but they weren't the best, without a doubt.
Okay, they got too busy with their jobs and had to move overseas to progress on their career. External circunstances. Things that happen. They left their son behind, but that could always be justified by hectic schedules of ever-moving businesspeople. How else could he have a stable routine to focus on his future? They're just busy. Teruki hasn't seen them in long but that's not their fault, right?
They cared for Teruki, didn't they? His parents made sure that there was someone home to watch him whenever they were far away. It was inevitable that there would be times he would be with himself, though. But that's not bad! It only became a problem once those strange espers tried to take hold of him on the street. And even then, they were so weak he could barely give them the title of a psychic. It wasn't an issue that it happened more and more and there was no one to intervene. Or that Teruki had to torture descriptions of "Claw organization" and "brainwashed soldiers" out of these grownups to know what they wanted with him. His parents couldn't know. Why should they know? Better put: what could they do?
What could a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
It was Teruki's choice to live by himself. He could manage it all. Contrary to the other kids, he was an independent and responsible young man who could be trusted with a house and money. Such a great boy. His parents were so proud to have someone as competent as him as a son, one which wouldn't mean hard work for them. One who always had the best grades and was the soccer team's best player and was the best student on the town's best middle school.
Of course they would suddenly allow Teruki to live on his own. Any parent with a child like him would, wouldn't they? Anyone on their right mind and who knew the slightlest about him would be sure he could do it.
And even if this "Claw" organization scared him a bit and he felt a bit lonely at times, it wasn't an issue. Issue would mean it was an obstacle - which it wasn't, as Teruki did perfectly on his own. His parents believed on so. That's why he had his own apartment at 12 on the first place. Teruki was so wonderful at this. It wasn't horrible if they didn't answer his calls, because they were so busy and he wasn't a little kid who depends on his mommy. None of this was their fault. He shouldn't bother them or himself over this.
Because they cared, right? On the end, it was only a pile of tragic circunstances and coincidences no normal person could act against. It was part of life as someone special like him. He couldn't expect that his parents could change any of this, and this made his loneliness the best possible choice. It was obvious that they would support such a decision.
What would a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
#this was supposed to be a short description of how I imagine the Hanazawas but I got carried away with the prose#I suppose I'll leave some of the original idea here on the tags#for some reason Teruki's parents seem to be the type of absent parents who do care about their children#yet they don't have the slightlest ability to provide a happy and healthy life besides the generic ideal of a perfect kid#a kid who has a nice home and money to have fun and is physically healthy and has good grades#and their son is so special. of course they would brag about him at any opportunity to do so because it shows how they're good parents#yet they don't put any extra effort on caring for their kid besides this “minimum”. why would they? isn't he happy enough?#they gave such a damn perfect life for him! look how great he is doing by himself! look how he is an amazing kid!#and they say it like an irritatingly oblivious owner talks about their pet dog who has clear behavior and health issues#and their lack of emotional effort and actual care for teruki's wellbeing is so morbidly comical it warps into not being even funny#its just painful and absurd and they don't have an idea on how their choices are absolutely crazy bad#because there is no way you could be implying they're bad parents. they love teruki so much#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#lalá rambling...
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we’re really in it now chizuchan…
#5 days and a few hours to go till ch6…#aaaaaaaaaaaaa im not ready for it#though. i gotta say that this week wasnt great (understatement)#for more reasons than one too… sigh.#so anyways ive started to read webnovels at work when no one’s around and my results are all reported#the stories are way too good (despite the pay 2 read thing on the app and the occasional tl mishaps)#i finished reading this completed novel early on in the week and it was. sublime. the characters are all so stupid and yet#they all bounce off each other so nicely. and they have reasons for their acts (no matter how horrible) that just.#gives them an extra layer of depth. and the way the story leans into the absurdity of some situations#while also swerving away from expectations at other times is just. brilliant.#but aaaaaaa i wish we had more time to see the ‘og protag’’s pov… he was so funny and for what#it would’ve been nice if the side stories had done things a little differently but it was a fun ride…#though i like how it’s one of those novels where reading the manhwa adaptation alongside#can make some certain events seem more unexpected than they actually are. and the art’s impeccable to boot… man…#and. just. the story’s good at making certain revelations cause certain scenes to hit harder in hindsight…#and how they don’t try to redeem the unredeemable. it’s refreshingly straightforward.#buuuuuuuuut i digress. anyways. um. see y’all next friday for chizuchan chapter 6. or thursday if there’s a random announcement or sth
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IT'S A GIRL!
After many, many, many, many FATEs... Ardwin finally has her amaro hatchling!!!!!!!
The Ards named her Skoenbyrt, which translates to "shining axe." "Scone" for short. She's also Seto's descendant :)
#ffxiv#ardwin tag#ardwin pics#ardwin lore#i'm so happy to finally get the baby#i started the fate grind sometime last year but it was around the time that playing with a keyboard started hurting my fingers#and then between that and a ton of other stuff i had going on it's taken me until now to really get back into it#super happy that Ardwin will get to take Scone on adventures in Tural :)#also funny thing. my plans for Scone pre-date me getting an actual irl puppy this past year#which also means that now I can give Ardwin my experience of: there is a baby animal in your house and it's adorable and it loves you!#but also said baby has an absurd amount of energy. and does not understand the concept of things which are and are not for chewing on.#and is very needy at inconvenient times such as 'when you are trying to get things done' or 'at 3 AM in the morning'#also: a trait i expect is shared between old-blood amaro hatchlings and herding breed puppies: way too smart for their own good lmao
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the thing about yosuke’s shittiness around here (up close and personal, the campout) is that the vast majority of it isn’t doing literally anything for his character. i completely think yosuke’s shittiness is important to his character, but it’s by and large reflections of his own insecurities and flaws. he’s insecure about his masculinity and sexuality, he’s lame, he’s selfish, he’s obsessed with the idea of women, his mouth moves faster than his brain, he doesn’t like himself, and he cares way too much about the societal ideal of ‘normal’. but it’s really important that he’s self-aware! he knows when the things he says are shitty, he knows he’s lame, he knows he’s selfish, he knows he’s putting up a front of being carefree and normal. but there’s absolutely no self awareness here, there’s no recognizing he went too far and apologizing the next day, there’s no regret, there’s not even any self-deprecation, and there’s absolutely no compassion or empathy like he has in serious moments. a lot of what he says is just mean for meanness’s sake, in an execution incongruous with previous behaviour. it’s not even funny!
#tbh i think the thing with kanji in the tent was the closest to being interesting#like by the end he’s warning against kanji leaving the tent#so clearly he cares about kanji more than he’s homophobic#he was straight up just saying that stuff to be shitty. knowingly!#that’s interesting! and the whole thing reeks of yosuke’s own insecurity in his masculinity and sexuality#he took it way too far and i deeply wish he’d quit it with the we statements#but if he had even a single line like ‘shit… i shouldn’t have said all that’ or recognized he was in the wrong at all#then i think it genuinely would’ve been an important moment for his character#everything else was just extremely shitty for no reason. the fucking swimsuits was pathetic but the gross guilt tripping was awful#he’s just lacking all of his usual self awareness. he’s lacking all of his good qualities and nuance#like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes yosuke’s other moments interesting or funny#this is just him being mean getting punished arbitrarily and not learning anything#on paper i get it. i get how these events could be continuations of established charateristics#but it’s just so mean and shitty that it becomes absurd nonsensical and unenjoyable#the stuff with hanako is just genuinely repugnant on the game’s behalf. it serves no purpose other than cruelty#definitely the worst part of the game so far#rambles#p4g posting#yosukeposting
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#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#good heavens.... .#lobotomy corporation spoilers#SOMEHOW#lobotomy corp spoilers#carmen lobcorp#listen. i have an explanation okay. it doesnt make sense but it was funny in my head#adam has an earing. thought it would be funny if it was just from ayin . is it? not quite sure#text explanation carmen wanted to do diy piercings in the outskirts and ayin went 'nuh uh safety issues' before caving and#making her practice and do it first on him to make sure it goes well and taken care of correctly before she does it on herself#thus the one ear piecing is born. the alternative joke was that it was just clip on. am i going to question the clothing? nah#mind fuckery the facility is made outa thay too. could that also be for the earing and tatoo? yeah. is it more funny to me thos way? yeah#no idea how the hell adam speaks by the way we ball w that . tatoo is just a sharpie as well dont know why there would be any way to put ink#to skin in an efficient manner. besides mind fuckery which is also totally acceptable but null for the sake of shitty comedy#adam lobcorp#ayin lobcorp#thats it. yup. the only spoilers i have is ayins appearance and name actually. only thing i knew going in. so i suppose this will do#(im procrastinating day 49 i know i can do it but im in agony thinking abt it)#also thought it funny at the idea of an piercing made by carmen's hands ending up being used by the facet of A that is carrying out her will#even still even if it is in the most absurd and irrational way possible. wanting to give freedom and realization and the ability to not#have to just survive but be free to live inside the world with their desires and wants in the most 'purest' and 'strongest' form for all#even if it is a SHIT PLAN!!! established broken man whayever ill bully adam regardless
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I really love equally 16-34-88.
It’s interesting the interchanging of the attitude of the fans and media towards William and Mitch.
For years, William was criticized over and over again. His relaxed and laid back attitude. His game. And his contract year back in 2018, he was in those trenches. And anyone who said anything positive about him was called crazy. And also, Don Cherry and his low key like discriminatory remarks due to the fact that he was Swedish and not the tough goon kind of playing style. He was also kind of the « guinea pig » (always changing line mates, and lines—and last year we saw that too, he’s always moving and they always throw new stuff) and he was , out of the core, the punching bag.
Now, Mitchy has always been criticized because of the toxic hyper masculine mindset of many hockey fans: he’s boyish and not buff and tough and all that jazz. But, he never got the hate and disrespect that he is getting at the end of last season and right now. He was however still well liked and respected and was often associated to Auston and scene in a more favorable light. He was second to Auston in the « it » boy factor. If this NHL documentary was made 2-3 years ago, Mitch would have been considered.
If you would have told that the Toronto fans and media would be all over William two seasons ago, I would have laughed. Like never would I have thought that I would see the day where people would actually give him credit and actually respect him and see the great things he adds. I love seeing that , but at what cost? For Mitch to become the punching bag of the team?
Fans are now saying how amazing Willy is and now figuring out that he is a good player and cool. But those same fans, a couple years ago were dragging him through the mud saying how useless he was and how he needed to get traded. And they liked Mitch. And they respected him. But now, you’ve « always hated Mitch Marner », « He should be traded ».
And I fear that it will always be this: once Mitch will be in the public’s good graces, something with William will happen and back to Mitch. It’s always been like this and will always stay this way. I don’t know why, I guess that’s the dynamic the city chose.
Even when it came to the core’s contracts: Willy and Mitchy always get this EXTRA je ne sais quoi. Like this extra negative energy and they can never satisfy anyone. They are greedy weaklings or whatever.
Also, I was thinking about Auston captaincy and it reminded me about how he was heavily considered in 2019 but the whole allegations and the story about him harassing this woman when he was drunk ruined that chance. And, people did criticize him and he got scrutinized. But, it kind of, I think, it fizzled away pretty quickly within the Toronto scene considering how heavy that story was. It doesn’t haunt him.
Now, if it was Mitch or William, people would bring it up and it would tarnish them way more. They could not escape it.
Sorry for the long ass rant, it’s just so funny and frustrating: if one gains recognition, the other one has to go down.
gonna start out by saying i don't think mitch/auston/other ppl weren't asked about the doc. i think they're way more private esp in a time that was gearing up for the playoffs, lol. and i think anyone with a brain right now knows mitch is still the second best player on the leafs. everyone just gets high off point totals alone from the prior seasons.. like i seriously saw ppl claiming matthew tkachuk would be drafted higher than auston after the 22-23 season, lolll.
i agree there's a divide about them in the coverage and i have a lot of thoughts of my own about this too. i'm not a longterm leafs fan beyond the past couple of years so i can't speak to how willy or mitch were treated before 2022 beyond old headlines/stuff i've seen but not lived through, but i've definitely been here for the shift about mitch lately and well...
i think some of it is by virtue of them playing the same position. everyone 'has an issue' with the core 4 (ive never understood who the fuck the core 4 even refers to.. sometimes its about the forwards, sometimes its about the leadership group flkdjsklf... whatever fits the current narrative ig) being all forwards and taking up the cap bc that's not 'proven', but it's such a bullshit excuse. i think if you look at their contract situations of the past, willy did a lot of things mitch is getting shit for now, lol. he did hold out into the season for money while mitch gets lambasted for using that as a negotiation tactic (which again.. i wasnt around for those negotiations and i get it was ugly to ... leak or use public perception or whatever but) on those first contracts. willy's father was also involved in his holding out in the most recent negotiations but that's not smth i see thrown around at him despite every comment under every post about mitch including paul's name without him so much as uttering the word contract, lol. it's frustrating to me to see the double standards at this point. i understand longtime fans have lived through shit about willy, but i have a hard time imagining the vitriol levels of right now being topped. it's just every single day about every single thing compounded by the fact that leafs fans have even less hope than they used to bc of how many years in a row they've lost.
i admittedly don't love them equally at all, and if anything, the fanfare about willy the past year has made me like him less. it's not really his fault but i do think he's slightly overpaid now (and watching ppl now claim mitch has to take willys deal or less is hilarious) and overhyped for what he actually brings. his playoff stats are being overrated too. since it all comes at a cost to mitch in the media, it's been way worse to watch for me and unavoidable that i come away feeling negative about him, lol.
i'd be interested to see if the tides ever do turn back toward willy now that he's bulked up, grown facial hair, proven he can score with an up-to-this-point useless clutchness. i doubt they will, but i have a hard time envisioning what's gonna happen after mitch signs an extension and who will become the scapegoat w players locked up for more years. the constant hate has to get exhausting at some point, right? like jflkjdsklf... but not with leaf fans so who knows what will happen. i can't really say what would have happened if mitch or willy were ever involved in scandal like that, but i think if it happened right now, ppl would be ready to forgive willy for anything and sentence mitch to death over nothing so. some people were blaming him for his own carjacking when it happened like.. lol. i can't see into the future but all i know is i'm VERY fed up with the way coverage and reaction is right now. and i don't even think the media is an accurate depiction of how a lot of fans feel about any of it, but if it's hammered home enough... idk.
#easks#sorry this isnt a hate post but a more.. fed up post klfdj#its funny to read all the things ppl think abt mitch when like they actually apply to willy in some ways#but for some reason we're pivoting back to aloof n chill being the cool thing to be fkld#and caring being overrated.. even tho the leafs tagline is passion? but not like that !#still think mitchs game is vastly more mature versatile and consistent#saw someone call willy a 2 way superstar to start the summer and im like. oh so we are just saying anything now lol#i think ppl are bad at evaluating beyond just points lol#saying last yr was consistent for him when he put up 4 points in the last month of play is simply a lie. he was inconsistent but productive#more than hes ever been. and yet still didnt play great defensively#acting like he for some reason has a higher ceiling now bc he ? has still never had a season as good as mitch despite being a year older is#so incredibly funny to me#i get that this is all very reactionary to the leafs mediascape rn but i cant help it bro#its absurd imo when mitch ended up w a higher ppg than willy by the end of the season#sorry again. no hate to him just like. the overcorrection n overhype is absurd#the constant comparison is absurd too i agree but its baked into the toronto experience apparently#also part of the reason i love that theyre trying him at center lol. like fjklds gonna make him worth the 11.5#and also maybe cease the winger comparisons . n get him to buy into paying more attention defensively#anhway... JIFNKDMLS good night.
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GOD i LOVE this show so much
#sorry that future man is the reason my queue is empty#but this show is sooo good#half way through s2#at first i was watching because of josh#but this show is so absurd and chaotic and funny and thrilling that i have become SOOO invested#i would like to thank the josh hutcherson renaissance for allowing me to discover this show#future man
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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anyways now that that's posted, this wip was way funnier to me than it should be
#shook wips#i just kept looking at it and giggling cjhbvcjv#it by all means should be funny. but like-#the expressions. and the fucking *gun png*#it's so fucking absurd idk why it tickles my brain so much hvbjcv-#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#also man gotta love the Tumblr Curse#of all my low-effort doodles getting a good amount of attention (for my blog's size atleast) and then the art i actually put effort into/am#proud of getting like no attention at all jcnxkd#it's not even like i posted it at a different time than usual lmao this website just hates me personally#(im not really actually bothered by it like i used to be#i just think it's funny lmao)#anyways watch this wip get way more notes than the actual drawing LMAO
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thinking about if i want to rb polls to the oc blogs to answer as them in the tags & it hit me wyndi is absolutely the most likely of the 3 to be into fanfic.
#theyre cursed with permanent clarity of mind theyd never get Obsessed with a series or ship#but they absolutely would find it entertaining#theyre such an aloof and unaffected guy but theyd like it i think.#iradis finding out & being like what do u mean u read even the r18 fics u dont even experience arousal#& wyndis just like idk i think its kinda funny#they might write one from time to time & they handle it with such indifference its just a way to pass time to them#but the overwhelming reaction they get for it is always 'u nailed the characterization this is so good pls pls pls write more'#wyndis the type of person their outward expression can be hard to read so half the time u dont know if theyre serious#or not until they start speaking#but even then they'll say their jokes in the same manner they say serious things#even keppi & iradis will sometimes have to take a second to be like what the fuck are u talking about#and wyndis just like. idk how to tell u its a joke. bc its usually some absurd statement to begin with
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also while I'm talking about star rail's vocal tracks, can I just say that the vocals in the Penacony boss fight being completely diegetic is actually really funny when you think about it. That's not a game background track, that is being sung in-universe by the world's most famous pop singer. Like it's a dramatic moment and everything, this isn't a criticism, it's just out of context its a bit ridiculous
you're fighting a dude to stop him from becoming Galactic Dream Dictator and suddenly out of nowhere space taylor swift comes out and starts singing her new hit single
#this isn't really funny in context though#“don't underestimate the level 20 bard” is a good rule of thumb in general in universes where that kind of supernatural power is relevant#really this is just an exercise in framing built up story beats in intentionally absurd ways because. it makes me laugh#star rail#honkai star rail#shitpost#step.gacha
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im only secure saying this on tumblr because you guys know so well that i am not one of those guys that gets upset when movie have girl in it but the kens were far and away the best part of barbie. this is my message
#idk they were very funny. and their stuff was the part where the feminism and look at patriarchy worked best#like it was the right level of absurd and hilarious yet hitting on something true. to be a good satire of patriarchy#in a way where a lot of the stuff about the barbies just didn't really. work for me. it didn't suit the tone of most of the movie.#i think it was intentionally incongruous to like not make their experiences into a joke? but it failed to land for me entirely#i did really like the main character barbie's ending that was nice. but overall i preferred the kens#again i can only tell this to tumblr because you guys know im not usually like this i tend to focus on women and be more lukewarm to men#(fictional character wise anyway. but fuck it in real life too i guess i tend to get on well with women more than men)#avpost#movie diary
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the only person who was actually right about the world and human nature was Max striner everyone else is a fucking moron
Striner? I hardly know 'er!
Anyways, I'm not a philosophy expert. I'm just some guy. I like the egoist belief that there isn't a universal moral truth. I like the absurdist belief that, because nothing matters, we should be radically sincere. I like the christian belief in a place without suffering after this life. I like the Universal Random Number Generator idea my therapist and I talk about
All of them have their flaws though. Egoism gets used to condemn social movements and civil rights advocacy. Absurdism and the RNG can create a sense of existential dread and a loss of motivation. Christianity encourages the loss of identity and free will
I'm just some psych student with a weird ass therapist that understands my weird ass brain. He encouraged me to look into absurdism since I took a class on absurdist literature my freshman year of college and he said I might enjoy looking into the actual philosophy. And I do! At least a lot of it! I like the idea of a chaotic universe and us humans trying our best to control it. I like the idea of letting that go and living authentically instead of with a direct purpose. There's chaos and mayhem and entropy and I'm just here to react to it. And I can react in ways that makes others happier if I wanted just because I can
Egoism/egotism feels too disconnected from the human need to connect to me. It traps me into that feeling that doing something good for someone is selfish if you're doing it to feel good. I'm actively working to get out of that spiral Christianity put me in now
I don't know, though, anon. I'm just some college student with an ex-christian tumblr blog and a lot of trauma. I like to believe there's some Universe-sized Abstract Computer with a random number generator that causes the chaos we call home. I skim wiki pages and reddit posts and decided if I want to engage any further/look for textbooks. I could possibly be looking at the wrong page about the wrong philosophy. I'm honestly just on this earthly plane for the bit
#if y'all are into philosophy I encourage y'all to look into it still just because it's interesting#As I understand it egoism/egotism is the belief that you only control one's own actions and awareness#and that all actions done by one's self is meant to benefit their own well-being#For me it sends me into a guilt spiral of worrying I'm not a good person because I feel good making others happy#because that would be selfish and that would make me bad actually#all of which I know if black and white thinking and we're all a little selfish sometimes. it's good for us#Im just not at a place where I can really dive into that#Im a fan of absurdism because of my commitment to the bit#It's essentially the idea that the universe is chaotic and life doesn't matter/there's no purpose to life#And you can respond by finding a higher power/religion/purpose. endgame. or live life pushing against the chaos#Modern absurdism gives further options but I haven't quite learned enough to fully explain them yet#And given the nature of my blog I obviously didn't like religion nor am I secretly a ghost#So I like the idea of having no actual purpose I have to follow (like being christ like)#but this belief is also not for everyone. it's known to cause existential dread and crises#I loved absurdist literature though. My favorite is Beckett's plays they're so fuckin funny in a dark way#I love finding humor and committing to the bit in times of stress. That's essentially what this blog is lol#also there's 750 of y'all now that's fucking wild#anyways I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings about philosophy since it's been a bit of a growing hyperfixation lol#don't take this as a conversion attempt I actively am saying don't look into these things unless you enjoy philosophy#If y'all really like my absurdism rambles tho I'll write more about it but only if y'all ask. i'm not tryna influence y'all lol#ex christian#religious trauma#ask tag
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