#absolutely the guys ever. im so crazy i even started writing something

[feketeribizli]

heard others like these two together too so im posting some fremika doodles :-)

[cyberluvzu]

TICCI TOBY DATING HEADCANONS

Ticci toby x reader

Hello people, I haven't written in years but I have some spare time and have been DROOLING over Toby lately so I thought that I could do this.

(please go easy on me I literally haven't wrote anything like this in 2 years)

- COMPLETE LOSERRRR

- Absolutely no dating experience at all

- You're his first everything

- And because you're his first everything, he gets incredibly nervous when it comes to doing new romantic things ( especially something physical)

- He wants to do all the cute couple things with you but he's scared that he's gonna end up scaring you off or making you uncomfortable

- At the beginning of the relationship he would probably be so awkward

- You'd go to hug him and he'd just stand there like🧍

- Don't get me wrong he appreciates the affection, he just doesn't know how to respond because he hasn't had a good relationship with physical touch

- After a couple of months he would slowly start to be more open to physical affection and being more romantic

- Just give the man some time

- When you get to the point of being completely comfortable with eachother he goes CRAZY BRO

- When he does get comfortable he is constantly on your ass

- He comes back from missions and immediately wants to go to sleep with you in his arms

- Bro doesn't even care if he's all bloody, he WILL have you

- You will have to pry him off of you and get him in the shower, or at least change his clothes

- After you get him to clean up he is all over you

- Holds you so close and just knocks the fuck out

- I also like to think that he'll bring you little knick knacks when he goes out

- Flowers, cool rocks, maybe a couple of things he got stole when he was in town!

- He's kinda like a crow

- In the sense of, if he likes you, you're gonna get some stuff

- He likes going on walks with you, it's nice just being alone with you, away from his life

- Is somewhat totally obsessed with you

- When he's not with you he is always thinking of you

- On his mind 24/7

- Totally infatuated with you, loves you completely.

- Has an irrational fear that he might lose you and doesn't want you to ever leave him, because you're the best thing that's happened to him

- Gets jealous, but not in the aggressive way, at least not with you

- Might go kill that person that was hitting on you, but you don't need to know that!

- Will absolutely be passive aggressive with you though

- Says little things to let you know that he's still upset at you

- He just worries he'll lose you to someone else

- Someone give bro a hug already

- Speaking of that, he absolutely adores your hugs, wants to stay in your arms forever

- He likes hugging you from behind

- He also really likes to silently creep up behind you and scare the shit out of you, but ends up giving you a hug to make up for it

- He just loves you

------------------------------------------

GUYS IM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR Y'ALL TO REQUEST 😭🙏

I'm literally so in the mood for writing about silly little characters now, I have so so many more headcanons for Toby and all of the other pastas, but I'm gonna post this because I've delayed doing it for a while because I'm irrationally nervous 😭

[lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me]

⋆୨♡୧⋆bitchless era ending soon⋆୨♡୧⋆

walking into the meeting room y/n couldn’t help but internally scream. what the hell was he doing here? why didn’t her manager tell her about this? especially since she was just in practice and didn’t have time to dress up and hopefully look not a hot mess. her mouth dropped open in shock, resisting the urge to yell “what the fuck” in front of everyone. after a moment of awkward silence her manager spoke up. “y/n meet riki, riki meet y/n. you guys will be working together from now on. we set up this time for you to meet and talk and get to know each other.” she gestured to riki’s manager, “we’ll be going so you two can talk freely. have fun!” the two left and left riki and y/n alone. while y/n was having her internal panic, little did she know, so was he. the moment he saw her he knew he was fucked. after heeseung gave him no help, he had no idea what to say to her. “soo…” he said “your debut was really good!”. y/n didn’t know what to do. her celebrity crush of 3 years, just complimented her music. all that she could muster was “uh- thanks you too”. thanks you too???? why the hell would she say that? he laughs slightly, not being able to help but think about how cute she was. “um are you excited to start mcing?” she asks, nervousness clear in her voice. he smiled, “yeah i am, what about you?” she tried her absolute hardest to not say something stupid again and said “yeah! just a little nervous though. i’ve never done anything like this before.” riki saw his opportunity, he knew he had to take it. even though he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. “we should hang out sometime. i’ve done it a couple times before, i could give you some tips to make it easier!” no. fucking. way. too many thoughts were running through y/ns head. did nishimura riki really just ask her to hang out? there’s no way this is real. never did she think that this would happen “uhhhh- yeah! yeah sure that would be fun!” whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck “okay nice! how about tomorrow?” whatshappeningwhatshappeningwhatshappening “yeah sure. that sounds perfect” holy. shit. cha y/n is hanging out with nishimura riki. “okay, ill see you then” riki had never been more nervous in his whole life. he couldn’t wait to shove this in all of his members faces. “im sure you have to get back to practice, right?” there was no shock as to why he knew that, she looked like a sweaty mess. “yeah, actually. i do. so i’ll see you then!” she overthought her every word, and move. how could she not when she’s around him. to her, he was perfect. “see you around!” riki left the room and practically ran back to his dorm. that couldn’t have gone better. y/n however, was freaking the ever living hell out. “did nishimura riki just ask me out? no that’s not possible we just met eachother! it’s friendly! that’s all!” after what felt like hours of contemplating she decided to go back to the dorm, tweet about it, and tell taesan and jaehyun. i mean, how was she supposed to go back to practice after something like this?

masterlist | next | previous

luckys note!: i’m sorry this took so long guys!! schools getting crazy since it’s almost the end of the year. but i hope you enjoyed the first written chapter! this is my first time like, actually writing so i hope it turned out good!

© lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

(📍) PERM TAGLIST IS OPEN!

(🩷) MIDNIGHT FICTION TAGLIST! @nctislifue @akuspic @pkjay @siya-bean @eun-chaez @wavetosunoo @gweoriz @luminouskalopsia @soobiary @ivyannemarie @rikikiynikilcykiki @emma2black @enh4ht @wooziswife @jjunie-0 @yumilovesloona @wth121 @riksaes @isaxshin @allforhee @rikisgeef @chxrlvspp @sunghoonsarmpit @autumn583 @tzuyusluv

(dm me/comment under the midnight fiction masterlist to be added!)

[lovedrruunk]

‘General Venture dating headcanons!

Authors note; literally wrote all of this during my genocide and holocaust studies class.… I’m going to hell…Also guys idk whether to use “y/n” or not like I can’t help but cringe… is it corny or no gah idk ALSO AUGHHH IM SUCH A LIAR im literally so behind on all my assignments!!!! And I still have requests to do whatever whatever enjoy!!!

They’re very secure as a person (and they trust you lots!) so I don’t think they’d get easily jealous but when they are they're sneaky with it, they’d be the type to like sabotage lolol

“Do you think I have a chance?”

“Oh with (____) ? Yea sure but just so y’know they were only recently discharged from the psyche ward…”

“Oh…”

“Yea… doctors said they’d never be the same ..… poor thing…..

( ＾◡＾)”

They’re actually just the sweetest most understanding s/o ever like genuinely let them know all your of worries, share all your burdens, they happily will!!

Will DIE if they ever made you upset. Like would start genuinely tweaking and going crazy. Will buy every gift and write so many letters apologizing for whatever they’d done until you’re happy again

Even worse if they make you mad like omg ESPECIALLY IF UR GIVING THEM THE SILENT TREATMENT

do be expecting them outside your window with a boombox on their head playing some old romantic Spanish saop opera song

They seem like the type who can’t cook for shit (I’m projecting here) BUT they will try just for you! They’ll attempt to cook your favorite foods… please lie to them!!

Absolutely loves to spoil / do things for you but if you do the same they freak out, lots of ‘You shouldn’t have!’s and ‘Shuckssss teehehehe’

Of COURSEEE gifts you lots of pretty rocks!!! Constantly. Your house might have a random rock in every corner but hey what can you do? what’s that? Refuse to take it? Yea if you want them to die!!!! You might as well have just ripped their heart out! just say you hate them and never wanna see them ever again!!!

Speaking of… lots of dramatics. However they’re smart enough to know when to stop so it’s not to the point of being annoying or anything! They can’t help but be playful, it’s in their blood

Not only are they a terrible cook but they're a terrible driver as well, there's definitely a hidden drawer filled with all their tickets... somebody get them off the damn road!

Treats the drill like a pet lol, y'know those jokes about pitbulls named princess? That's for sure what's going on here. Yea it's a dangerously massive drill meant to effortlessly barrow through solid ground but it's also their little meowmeow so?? Their admiral turbo meowington? If you suggest they wash it from all the dirt and grime they'll pout and say something stupid like; "but but flufflestiltskin hates the bath"

That's all I can think of right now but I'm sure there's more cooking in the back of my head!! Hope you like it, this was rlly fun lolol (IM SO IN LOVE WITH THEM SOMEONE SEDATE ME.)

[rvblos]

sfw/nsfw headcanons - andrey rublev

warnings: this contains nsfw so if you're not comfortable with it just dont read it !!

notes: i lost the request im so sorry😭 but thank you sm for requesting this one im so happy to finally write for my man

sfw:

- he’s the sweetest ever omfg.

- so clingy !!

- can’t keep his hands for himself istg he ALWAYS has to touch your skin or he’ll go crazy.

- “andrey, there are people here…” “i know, i just wanna feel you” cutie pie.

- he’s so funny, he makes you laugh even when you’re supposed to be serious.

- always telling jokes about other players during tours.

- and we all know that he doesn’t like when members of his family go to see him play, the only exception is you.

- your presence is the only one that he’ll never complain about.

- IN FACT whenever he has to start a match, especially an important one, he always makes sure you’re sitting right next to the court.

- to keep an eye on you.

- he LITERALLY invites you to join him everytime he has to do something with daniil, and he makes sure you’re comfortable.

- boy he’s sweet.

- likes to stroke your cheeks when he kisses you.

- and after kissing he always places one little kiss on you forehead. 🤗

- he takes HOURS to get ready.

- he cares a lot for his appearance.

- especially his hair …

- “andrey, are you ready?” you’d shout from the other side of the apartment. “yeah, just wait…” he’d answer from the bathroom.

- as you’d enter the room you’d find him looking at his reflection on the mirror, fizing his hair.

- “babe, you’ve been standing there for the past half hour, let’s go. they’re waiting for us.”

- “yeah, i’m almost ready.” with a concentrated look on his face he’d fix a stray of hair behind his ear. “okay, let’s go.”

- you’d sigh in a kind way, as he kisses you gently on your lips.

nsfw:

- about his hair…

- he adores when you tug on ‘em making a little pressure.

- he’s a switch i dont wanna argue with anyone.

- when he’s submissive he’s very vocal: a lot of moaning and whimpering and stuff.

- he gets so horny watching you doing everything by yourself, sometimes he’d even stay still and his eyes would be fixed on your body, not moving one inch.

- and goes ABSOLUTE CRAZY when you whisper sweet things in his ear.

- “you’re doing so good baby.” BOY HE’S SHAKING.

- and he just doesn’t have the energy to answer, eyes closed and head completely dizzy.

- “love, you have to use your words f’me, okay?”

- he’d nod in agreement, whispering in a low and tired tone “please… k-keep going…”

- and when he’s a top…

- looooovesss when you grab for his biceps during the initial thrust into you ... sedate me

- and always has to look you in the eyes to be able to tell if everything’s okay.

- but anyway !!

- he’s always hugging you from behind… he knows it gets you so turned on…

- and his fingers would slowly get under your shirt, circling your hot skin.

- “you’re already shaking, and i’m only touching you…” WTF PLEASE I NEED HIM

- he’a an ass guy… big or small he has to touch it !

[aezuria]

hi!!! idk if im putting the request in right but could you do a leo x hermes!reader fic/hc? (whichever you prefer!) tyy and take ur time :))

*ੈ✎ thief! you stole my heart!

content: leo valdez x hermes! reader

╰┈▸ back cover: percy DID NOT disappear and the seven are still tgt at chb bc i want them to be happy OKAY

╰┈▸ warnings: i said fuck one time

librarian’s annotations: lowk i like the idea of this fic but i feel like my writing was just SO BAD in this one so idk i kinda hate it tbh (maybe i just havent played monopoly in a while 🤔🤔)

you’d heard of leo, obviously; you watched as he crashed into the lake and put a spectacular show of trying to get hephaestus’s sign off the top of his head

what an ABSOLUTE FOOL he looked like, flailing around

you wanted him already (who wouldn’t?)

so obviously you came up with a plan...

—to steal his heart!

a very well-thought out plan, might you add, it had a total of five steps

first, you would make eye contact with him at least once while nyssa was giving him a tour of the camp. easy, right?

step 2, wait for your siblings to befriend him

you say wait, because you can just tell that travis and connor will sneak up on him like hyenas and force him into their antics

(and from his ever mischievous grin, you think he wouldn't mind)

three, be in the same area most, if not every time they converse, cause then he'd start associating them with you

and then he'd be like "omg who is that fine babe"

isn't that how it works?

you think you saw that in a psychology book or something (or maybe you just made it up??)

then, once that happens, you'll force connor to put in a good word for you (or bribe him, whichever works better)

finally (for now) step five; this was the most crucial part

you’d heard of leo, obviously; you watched as he crashed into the lake and put a spectacular show of trying to get hephaestus’s sign off the top of his head

what an ABSOLUTE FOOL he looked like, flailing around

you wanted him already (who wouldn’t?)

so obviously you came up with a plan...

—to steal his heart!

a very well-thought out plan, might you add, it had a total of five steps

first, you would make eye contact with him at least once while nyssa was giving him a tour of the camp. easy, right?

step 2, wait for your siblings to befriend him

you say wait, because you can just tell that travis and connor will sneak up on him like hyenas and force him into their antics

(and from his ever mischievous grin, you think he wouldn't mind)

three, be in the same area most, if not every time they converse, cause then he'd start associating them with you

and then he'd be like "omg who is that fine babe"

isn't that how it works?

you think you saw that in a psychology book or something (or maybe you just made it up??)

then, once that happens, you'll force connor to put in a good word for you (or bribe him, whichever works better)

finally (for now) step five; this was the most crucial part

play against him at the weekly game night

you had to show off your amazing game skills (that did not involve stealing, like, what???)

once you win, that'll impress him enough to make him fall in love, right?

it was totally foolproof

last week it was the aphrodite cabin's turn to pick, so this time it's cabin 11's turn. and you knew which game you just had to play.

"guys," you said seriously, laying on your bunk with your hands folded under your chin. "we need to play monopoly tomorrow night."

you were met with groans of "why?" and "that's gonna take forever!"

rightly so, but still!

"shut up, most of you guys don't even have seniority!" you turned to travis and connor, the only two siblings able to boss you around.

"please! it's part of my ingenious plan okay!?" you put your hands together, bowing your head. "i'll do whatever dare you guys want!"

oh you were serious serious. no one in their right head would agree to that. but, they do say love makes you crazy.

gasps echo through the cabin.

"whatever dare, huh?" travis says with a smirk that would make you regret saying that, except for the fact that you were head over heels for leo.

you sucked in a breath and resigned to your fate. "yeah."

"alright then, monopoly it is."

game night started right after dinner, because there was no way you guys could finish monopoly before midnight if you didn't. and even then, it was still a stretch. luckily, chiron was lenient on campers following curfew every friday, knowing how rowdy game nights could get.

though it wasn't summer, there were still a lot of campers, way too much for one board game. so, you were split into groups of eight. and if you and leo were put in the same group? must be a coincidence. (send help, you were practically selling your soul to the stolls)

"y/n, you are not allowed to be the banker." percy declared with a pointed look.

you gaped. why did he have to make your plan harder!? "what!? why not?"

"because we know you're going to steal the money," annabeth sighed, neatly organizing the colored bills.

"wow, okay then." you pouted, though you knew it was true. putting the money on display like that was just tempting you even more.

"i can be the banker," leo piped up from beside you.

frank shot him a skeptical look. "are you sure you're not gonna be stealling?"

"i would never!" leo held up his hands in defense. "please annabeth? i like being banker!"

she placed the 500s in the last slot, relenting. "alright, here." she pushed the tray to his side, which leo took eagerly and passed out the money.

the game started, and you took your lucky hat as usual, sending a silent prayer to tyche for some extra luck.

it began easy enough; you used up some money for property, auctioned the ones you didn't want. as the game got more and more heated (or as heated as a game of monopoly could get), you used the distraction to slip yourself a couple of 100s. they practically threw themselves into your hands! who could blame you?

a full set of orange, with houses all on them. you had a few other property cards here and there, but not enough for another set.

"i don't have enough money.." hazel looked at her measly pile of 10s, 50s, and a single 100 bill. "auction?"

"four hundred." leo bid almost immediately.

"four hundred!?" your jaw dropped. why was he starting so high? you looked down at your pile. your hard-earned (stolen) money wasn't going to last if you bet any more.

"four hundred and one..?"

"four hundred and five!" annabeth bid before leo could.

"five hundred."

"fuck!" you grumbled. defeat was not something you liked tasting.

you swear, you must've fallen asleep while playing. because the next time you looked over at leo, (okay, maybe you lost sight of the goal), he was eating up the rest of the board. you could've sworn he only had park place and the brown cards! you didn't have a backup plan for this!

you watched him goad percy into giving him boardwalk, saying that the shade of blue clashed with his 'vibe.' "i'll trade you all three light blue cards for boardwalk. deal?"

"don't do it percy," annabeth warned, already seeing the gears turning in her boyfriend's head.

"deal." percy swapped with leo, dapping him up as they traded. "pleasure doing business with you."

you looked back to the board. all of the property owned by him was decked with houses, all full sets! was that even mathematically possible? not that you'd know about it.

frank was next to go bankrupt, hazel quitting a half hour ago. she slumped on his shoulder, forcing herself to stay awake so she didn't miss out.

percy threw his single dollar bill on the floor, claiming that it "wasn't fair!" and that he'd give his property to annabeth. which was not a lot, considering she had sweet-talked him into giving her most of it already.

jason was next, but only because he was already half asleep. probably because he was usually in bed by 8:30.

you were still in the game out of sheer will. maybe you didn't have as much brains as annabeth or leo, but you still had some! that, and the fact that you would never live this down if you lost.

"alright, i give in." annabeth put her property cards down with not as much disappointment as you'd expect. you could see a glimmer in her eyes that would most definitely not be there, seeing as how much she hated losing.

she curled up next to percy and watched the two of you play.

now it was just you and leo. did your love for him outweigh your love for winning? you weren't quite sure anymore.

"hah! you landed on my property, so pay up!" you grinned maniacally. (it wasn't that deep tbh)

leo groaned and begrudgingly handed you the rent.

"that's my property!" leo pointed out the next turn.

you looked to the bank, but leo's eyes were set on you. guess you couldn't steal your way out of this one. "are you serious? what if i'm a single mom who works two jobs, who loves my kids and never stops-"

"just say you don't have the money."

"fine!"

four hours of non-stop monopoly. you think you could pass out right then and there, except for the fact that you had to save face in front of your massive crush. your group of eight said sleepy goodbyes to each other, all heading to their respective cabins. leo lingered beside you, or maybe you lingered beside him.

"that the first time you lost?" he broke the silence, hands shoved in his pockets as he turned to face you.

"yeah.." you grumbled. you were usually a pro at monopoly. "how'd you even win?"

"oh, y'know." leo winked. "maybe i stole a few bills here and there."

"i knew it!" you poked him in the side.

"hey!" he swatted your hand away, laughing. "you can't be talking! did you think i couldn't see you stealing?"

"uh, no?" you were being very sneaky about it! most people never even knew when you'd steal something!

"well, i did." he smiled triumphantly.

you crossed your arms. "you had to have been looking real hard if you noticed."

leo matched your pose, dimples showing as he flashed his teeth. "maybe i was."

oh.

"you were? wait i was just-" was he flirting with you? this counted as flirting, right?

he cut you off with a hand in the air. "it's safe to say that you, dear y/n, have officially, stolen my heart." he winked cheekily.

"okay that was kinda cringy-"

"yeah, i know-"

plan failed successfully?

[creaturecomfxrts]

Dipper and Mabel pines headcanons?

FINALLY getting around to answering these! since im better at them, heres some college age headcanons that apply just as much to how i view them in the show!

DIPPER PINES

transmasc. duh. of course

parents are INCREDIBLY supportive, super understanding. hes on hormone blockers in the show and starts HRT as soon as hes able, getting top surgery and bottom surgery in his early 20s

bisexual! ran into a guy junior year of highschool and went oh GOD. this is wendy 2.0 im going to die

NERD.

LOVES board games. so much. not just dungeons and dragons and monopoly im talkin everdell, wingspan, cascadia, catan. he loves a good think. he also loves dragging everyone else into playing them with him. he always wins. almost always, anyway

absolutely adores college and everything about it hes a little freak. totally ends up being the president of a few clubs, co creating some, etc. made an occult club AND a hiking club at his college

loves doodling, loves horror. his teachers? not so much. they try not to look at the weird ass creatures he draws on the margins of his very well written homework.

probably goes into something smart. like biochem. or um. stem. im (author) is a liberal arts major all i do is write gay fanfiction.

PSYCHOTIC ASS DORM ROOM. he barely decorated it like a classic college male but has a conspiracy board and thats it. which is full of strange shit hes seen outside of gravity falls. to be fair its very well documented and somewhat neat, just…. strange decor. he lives in a single (introvert)

COVERED in tattoos, but always abides by the suit rule (all tattoos need to be able to be covered by a suit to be professional. he knows this bc hes a neerrrrddd). he has really sick sleeves of runes and other occult like things hes found interesting. he has cipher related tattoos as well and also even got ford to design a few.

he has PROMINENT eye bags. he will never fix his sleep schedule

ended up working as a summer camp counselor for a while right outside if gravity falls! the kids loved him but he couldnt stand the heat and bugs all the time so he only did it for a summer or two

even after turning 21 he doesnt actually drink that much, hes a craft beer enjoyer and likes to make it himelf (Much later in life)

ALWAYS stays in touch with mabel. if anything happens in either of their lives you better BELIEVE theyre already on the phone with eachother

medical marijuana card holder

smokes to help eith his anxiety. it works WONDERS

coffee drinker but actually Does put cream and sugar is coffee. sometimes. other times hes too tired and just thugs it out

MABEL PINES

THE number one it girl ever

NUMBER ONE TRANS ALLY EVERRRRRR she loves her brother so much

pansexual!! she loves cool people, thats her motto

went to a fashion design school, is loving it despite drowning in work

began dying her hair in cool ways through highschool, now she always has some of her natural color present but goes a little crazy on the highlights

found out about huge dangley joke earrings. went absolutely crazy. has an entire space on her desk dedicated to her many many earrings. she has babies, knives, bags of doritos, aliens, glow in the dark ones, anything you could imagine.

fantastic at fashion design. stuggled a lot with the fancier stuff but her teachers were floored when they let her go wild on casual comfy wear. she excells in combining fashion and comfort in really exciting and colorful ways.

a party girl through and through, loves clubs, raves, concerts, anything!

video game lover as well, cracked at pvp games.

still boy crazy, just less so (has had like. 10 college boyfriends)

literally the sweetest friend ever. she loves hosting movie nights and tea parties (bc who wouldnt. theyre awesome)

tea drinker, loves floral teas with honey

HATES. black coffee. a starbucks frap girlie 4ever

has been scouted for modeing multiple times and only accepted when it was a commercial with puppies

love love loves making friendshio bracelets. knows all the patterns, all of her friends have a hefty amount of a bunch of different ones because she just keeps making them

anywwy, here you go! i love these two so much, i hope ive done them justice!

[pinkrifle]

UM HI💞-heard you're taking requests??👀

could i get uhhhh some hcs with cartman being best friends with like,, a very smart but absolutely FOUL reader?? they're kind of a nerd(he prob makes fun of them for it lol) but instead of winning science awards and making the world a better place they just... they love to see the world burn

they're totally into whatever idea eric has and they're happy to make it 1000x more illegal AND help him get away with it cause they're the teachers favourite<3

....sorry for such a long request lol hope you like the idea and have fun writing!!💞

don’t be sorry i love long requests!! reader is so me fr ,,, SORRY TGIS WAS LIKE AN HOUR LATE IM AT FAMILYS HOUSE RN

cws/tw’s: none :3

WOWW first meeting!! cartman absolutely rips on you like crazy. always begging you to do his homework even after he says the most diabolical thing ever,,

when everyone starts talking about how ur a menace he’s shocked. “NO WAY that little twerp could out do ME >:(“ yes, oh yes they can, cartman

especially since your Mr/Ms Garisson’s teachers pet, he doesn’t think you could do any wrong. by BOYY is he wrong when one day he catches you taping illegal firecrackers to a makeshift rocket for your science experiment.

“dude, you know those are illegal right.” “so? you do like.. WAYYY worse, man” “touché..” “you think you can make this more illegal? or you wanna help me out, douche”

he grabs random shit from his house that should NOT be there and throws them onto the rocket. you guys finally settle on blasting it infront of the school during recess.

when recess rolls around, your both standing in front of the school, mischievously rubbing your hands together. and that’s when cartman starts saying something to you,

“HHAYY, you kno—” [BOOM] you set off the rocket and accidentally set the front of the school into a mini flame, cartman runs for his life as you follow behind him giggling senseless.

u guys are MATES after that. always up to no good and roasting tf out of people non stop.

he tells you he wants to grave rob a preist’s grave you tell him he should grave rob an entire church gravesite to pawn all the jewelry they might have on.

compliments aren’t constant, but when you guys get sentimental you talk about how good of a friend the opposite is :) when cartman is sad you always do some crazy shit up in his face and he giggles, wipes his disgusting ahh face and thinks of something else illegal y’all can do.

in your guys’ superhero era, he catches your superhero ego setting tissue paper on fire on top of a building and giggles + keeps his mouth shut.

YALL DEFINITELY BEFRIEND CTHULU TOGETHER SND DO CRAZY STUFF 😭 as if what y’all do isn’t crazy enough..

sometimes y’all attempt to vape or smoke etc, and your always standing while cartman is doubled down on the floor sobbing and coughing from one hit.

you back him up in the wendy fight (you and cartman lose ☹️ but it’s fun to accompany ur bestie)

you bring treats for Liane when you go over to cartman’s house and he gets upset cuz he hates his mom, but if it’s food he always stops being a brat and thanks you after (almost never saves his mom a bite 💔)

heyyy! sorry this was short :( I LOCE THIS REQ THO ITS SO ME 🫶🫶 and ty for requesting! feel free to spam req if you want (and sorry this was an hour late)

[slowd1ving]

Hi! Swanon here 🦢

I loved reading your yapping to my question. I feel like i understand your Moze much better now ! I love that he feels so much yet doesn't know what or why. Im so excited to get him in 3 days.

I also casually think about your dan heng fic that was the prologue to the blade one. And i had another question ! Hopefully, you dont mind. I was wondering if things would have gone Dan Hengs way if only he had confessed in that closet. I remember the protag was like annoyed at the thought of Dan Heng asking someone else to teach him the game, but then was ok with the friends with benefits arrangement.

Like would the protag have accepted, or had to have some time to think about it. Would the protag be more or less willing to move in with him. Also, would the Astral express ever tell the protag about Dan Heng's feelings, or do they respect his privacy that much. Would Kafka get in the way, or would she let things happen, however that goes.

I dont know if it's noticeable, but i love thinking about all the possibilities and timelines. Im also sorry for yapping. Take your time. I 6 read Ratios' fic yet, but im sure it will be a great read again. I just need to get in a Ratio mood, haha.

SWANANON HIII

I'm glad I was somewhat coherent in that longass Moze analysis since I have so many damn thoughts about this man. (I caved and used my pity for feixiao and got both of them; her playstyle is genuinely so fun?? sorry ratio lmao)

Speaking of that Dan Heng fic I was actually reading it today to just deconstruct how I write... crazy.. Honestly it would've absolutely gone his way had he confessed; when I tend to write an MC I usually lean to a somewhat blunt personality (that occasionally comes of as quite crude), so MC is someone who values communication. Alas, Dan Heng is nothing of the sort... alas. Sorrows and prayers. You're right, I did try to hint at MC's jealousy when thinking of Dan Heng pulling someone else into that closet, because both of them were sort of tiptoeing into 'feelings' territory. Dan Heng knew but was in verbose denial; MC just felt irritated about it and likely just blamed it on the drinks lmao.

Anyways with both the Dan Heng and Blade series, their lack of voicing how they feel about something makes them both veryyy entertaining to write for. Like quiet, simmering jealousy? Elite. MC's also written to be quite an intense and adaptable character to complement theirs, which is also why he doesn't mind being fwbs with both. (WENCH!!! VILLAGE WENCH!)

But again, the MCs I write tend to value dialogue more, while also brushing off any advances of characters. Therefore any feelings he had for either would've been pushed down subconsciously since both Dan Heng and Blade are SHIT at having heart to hearts.

Genuinely, in terms of a relationship, whoever confessed first would've had a better chance. Like MC has chemistry with both of them so it would've been quite easy to form a relationship with either, or at least I hope it reads that way. Yes, MC would've moved in with Dan Heng 100% (even in that one blade one he was READY to jump ship lmao).

To answer the Astral Express part, I feel like they wouldn't outright tell reader. Like they'd absolutely make fun of Dan Heng for it (and for his lack of game tbh.. because how is shitcommunication #2 confessing first... bro... one job.. you've got a chest in your mouth instead of WORDS). And Kafka... she's just there for the entertainment tbh; that one section where I included her just terrorising Dan Heng by being all touchy with MC... lmao she's fully using the best friend privileges just to kick this emotionally constipated doofus into action

But honestly, she's rooting for Blade 100%. It's just a consequence of being closer with him naturally (she'll support MC either way tbh); like the poor guy's smiling for once he no longer looks like a wet cat... please date this man... he has not smiled once since starting his engineering degree (joke) (not really) (this will be me next year)

Which is why she's helping him more proactively by essentially dragging the two of you together; like she's still kicking Dan Heng into realising his feelings by dragging you away from him, but that's away from him, unlike with Blade.

speaking of both of them there's actually a little both of them fic idea festering in my mind.... gosh... anyways...

for the alternate timelines, same. Not just because there's a grillion different ways for a scene to play out, but it's so intriguing to think what MC might've done differently. Bro MC getting caught with Blade by Dan Heng would be MAD icel. (...anyways)

ratio mentioned ratio mentioned

For the fic you're referring to there will be some slight aventurine / reader so... but honestly it's more focused on worldbuilding initially rather than romance

anyways slowd1ving yap has concluded I'm currently working on an inbox request and on chapter 4 of lament of ouroboros hell yeah

[misc-obeyme]

that fem villain mammon art makes me feel so many things, i went crazy when i saw it and my tags for it reflected that

LIKE I'LL JOIN YOUR SIDE ANY DAY MA'AM, JUST ONE CHANCE IS ALL I NEED PLEASE INCAN MAKE YOU SO HAPPY

if there was ever a curse where mammon got turned into a woman, I'd die on the spot. Solomon had an experiment that went wrong and now him and Mammon are affected (mcsolomams heart says it's because they were all hanging out together in his room)

I can only imagine what they would do if they both got turned 😭 team up and mess with me probably. please guys i am fragile, and i WILL run away and hide for my own sake. Like they think i get flustered now?? crank it up to ten. THEY'D GET A KICK OUT OF IT TOO !!! i hate them (said with sickening affection)

like the dame events had me in a chokehold. I can tell you I definitely dropped my phone and yelled when I saw the mammon card like HE HAS A THIGH ACCESSORY AND MESH PANELING AND LIPSTICK that i want to ruin WHO SAID RHAT

i am just a weak woman when it comes to pretty women *head in hands* it's the bisexual in me

anyway HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL !!! work is breathing down our necks to meet our credit card goals, and my store manager is trying to plead for me and the replen manager to get a raise so HOPING !!! (IT WASN'T A RUMOR TECHNICALLY YIPPEE)

I've started giving my cashiers stickers for getting any kind of sign up or application and 😭 it's kinda endearing how excited some of them get. Like even the one's who seemed kinda skeptical/thought it was silly are immediate telling me over the walkie when they get something

barbatos giving mammon stickers when he gets good grades, or a shiny sticker and a kiss when it's an A grade

ALSO MY STORE MANAGER GAVE ME A $25 GIFT CARD TODAY AND BOUGHT US PIZZA BECAUSE I WAS WORKING THE MORNING FOR ONCE 😭 HE SAID THEY REALLY MISSED ME WHILE I WAS ON VACATION LOLOL

okay im done I think HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON!!!!

OKAY RIGHT. The bisexual in me was also freaking out lol. I was like wow I don't think I've ever wanted anyone to step on me before, but FOR HER-

They would absolutely mess with you, there is no way that scenario could go down any other way lol. Like oh? You like us this way, huh? Let us show you just what we can do~

Cue heavy flirting and teasing and wow I would not be strong enough to resist them.

Oh yeah Mammon's dame card nearly killed me with his stupid thighs I was like EXCUSE YOU. How dare you, you were already pretty enough as a man, now you're gonna go ahead and hit me with the thigh bling??

OH YAY I hope they get you that raise!!! You deserve it!!

Listen, I would be thrilled if someone was giving me stickers for doing a good job. It's the simple human brain, we like rewards. I have a sticker system for when I'm actually writing my novels where I award myself a sticker for every 500 words I write. Needless to say they haven't seen any use in ages because I abandoned my novels for fanfic lol. I tried using them for that instead but it was harder because I never know how many words things are gonna end up. At least with novels I know it's gonna be over 50k so like 500 is a good goal for a daily amount. (And I always wrote more than that anyway so my little section gets full up with sparkly stars tee hee~)

Anyway, the point here is that stickers are fun and make people happy!

Now listen... Barb's rewards for Mammon are officially in smut town because of the tags you left on that fic, by the way. I was like OH. That's right, he did abandon his homework to come be with Barb and if Barbatos knew that...? Anyway part two is going to be posted soon and you'll see. Not me already thinking about part three, I have a problem.

YESSSS pizza!! This is the thing, employers don't know how much they rely on you until you're gone! LOL!

I hope you have a lovely day/night as well! 💕

[ticklyblues]

Across The Spider-Verse (arachkids) tk headcannons!!

saw this movie last week and ,,, oh my god i love them all so much i HAVE to write headcannons for them even though this isnt really the kind of thing i normally do

hcs under the cut ⌄⌄⌄⌄⌄⌄

Miles Morales

60% lee, 40% ler

Ler:

Second bigest teaser ever

Loves using his invisibility for sneak attacks

Always goes for the ribs first for some reason

Sometimes uses webs for light restraints if he's feeling mean enough

Prefers group attacks over going solo

"Wow I did NOT expect this much of a reaction!"

Uses electricity to give little tickle shocks (stolen from @/orchid-fics but it was too cute not to include im sorry)

Lee:

Is a literal potato bug. curls up if you even touch him

Kinda guy to scream "NO!!" a bunch of times

Turns invisible by reflex if he knows he's about to get wrecked

Has a hard time telling people he wants tickles so he just kind of sprawls out and exposes all his spots in hopes of someone taking the hint

Maybe he'll tickle someone just for payback if he's feeling spunky

Worst spots are his ears, armpits, hips, and thighs

Gwen Stacy

20% lee, 80% ler

Ler:

Absolutely EVIL

She totally coos at her lees like . look at her and tell me she doesn't

Does light and feathery tickles and then goes hard and rough out of NOWHERE just for fun

Prefers to make the lee giggle and squirm instead of scream

Brings you water after she's done

You can tell when she's in a ler mood cause she gets 10x more sassy than usual (literal nightmare btw it gets to the point where they just let her get it out of her system so she stops being such a bully)

She might be mean but she can tell when the lee's had enough

Lee:

More of a ler but she still has her moments

She thrashes HARD watch out

Snorts

Hides her face with her hands instead of covering her spots

Worst spots are her neck, ribs, and stomach

Pavitr Prabhakar

50/50 switch

Ler:

Oh boy he has FUN

The most teasy guy ever he pulls all the stops

"Honestly, didn't peg you to be a squirmer... don't worry, I can still work with this!"

Him and Gwen teamed up are the most awful (amazing) mean (great) duo ever

Guilty of using the same techiniques that kill him

LOVES to chase people down

Narrarates exactly what he's doing and what spots hes gonna go for next

Has a hard time knowing when to stop but takes the hint after he gets punched a few times

Lee:

Has zero shame in admitting when he's in a lee mood

Just like when he's a ler, he loves a good chase

Will attempt to crawl away but doesn't actually want it to stop

NEEDS to have his hands pinned down otherwise he starts hitting and shooting webs by reflex

Squirms and screams like he's dying

Worst spots are his stomach, sides, thighs, and knees

Hobie Brown

10% lee, 90% ler

Ler:

Usually doesn't join in but when he does he makes everyone SCREAM.

No one knows how he does it but he's the most evil most menacing ler to ever haunt the multiverse

"What'cha laughing at, mate?"

Techniques are different every time but he still manages to wreak havoc without fail

Unofficial big brother of the group

Switches spots CONSTANTLY and drives everyone crazy

Laughs along with the lee

Lee:

Not that ticklish so he doesn't really get much out of being a lee

However the spots where he IS ticklish are all really weird and out of the way

Can't really get anything more than giggles, but all of that excess energy goes into his extremely intense facial expressions and gasps

Is extremely surprised when something tickles badly enough to laugh because he doesn't think he's ticklish at all

Worst spots are his lower back, the spot where his arms meet his armpits, and his calves

WOAH GONNA BE HONEST HERE i loved making this i might end up doing some fics soon ?? idk schools out in like a week for me I'll have loads of free time

[moonferry]

what's that?? oh yeah, its fsioy chapter 5 babeyyy!!!

OMG HEY. this is it. this is the scene ive been daydreaming about for WEEKS and we finally got to it. im so happy. shoutout to the 3 people who've consistently read this story. u guys are so swag and cool and epic. i hope you enjoy this little soft chapter because shit is about to hit the fan. teehee. also wow this one is so long i didnt realize that while writing. Oops

chapter summary: jodi responds to kent's confession and expresses her own feelings. kent does some deep thinking (tm) and asks jodi a hard question.

word count: 2345 (wow)

warnings: none that i can think of? mentions of time/limited time/time running out tho

ao3 linkie -> here

other chapters: chapter masterlist

“What?” Jodi asked, her eyes widening in a mixture of surprise and horror. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Surely Kent was joking. How could he be in love with her? They had only known each other for a few months and - according to her mother - it took years to love someone. There had to be a reasonable explanation for Kent’s crazy outburst, right? He couldn’t actually be in love with her, could he? 

“I think I’m in love with you,” Kent repeated, anxiously scanning Jodi’s face. He noted her expression and grimaced. So much for making it less awkward. He noticed Jodi seemed to be deep in thought and moved to defend himself, “I know it’s sudden. I just… had to tell you. Sorry.” Kent glanced down at his hands and felt a massive wave of shame wash over him. Why did he say anything? He had likely just ruined the best friendship he ever had. This was supposed to be a fun week, but he had made it into a disaster. It seems like that was all he was able to do late - cause disasters to happen. 

“Kent, don’t apologize,” Jodi replied, her lips forming into a small line as she bent down to his eye level. She rested her hand on his shoulder and waited for him to look up. When Kent met her eyes, Jodi thought he looked like a sort of… dejected puppy. She gave a small sigh before explaining herself, “I didn’t mean to react that way. I was just surprised, that’s all.” 

“So.. you don’t hate me?” Kent asked, some worry still present on his face. He fidgeted with his hands once again before mumbling, “For, you know, making things awkward..” 

“Hate you?” Jodi asked with a small laugh. She shook her head and a wide smile spread across her lips. She glanced at Kent, giving him her familiar “you can’t be serious” look before adding, “I could never hate you.” 

Kent raised an eyebrow - full of skepticism. Maybe Jodi was stranger than he thought. How could she not hate him? He’s done nothing but surround this girl with chaos since the moment they met. Kent made more of a fool of himself around Jodi than anyone - maybe it was because he tried so hard to impress her only for it to completely blow up in his face. “Really?” Kent asked, absolutely dumbfounded. 

“Yeah,” Jodi confirmed. She hesitated a moment, thinking to herself. Kent noticed a small patch of pink had found itself onto the curves of her cheek and was even more confused. “I.. I actually think you’re super cool,” She started moving her hand to tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear - something else, Kent noticed, that she did when she was nervous - before adding, “I like you, too. There’s something different about you, you know? You don’t try hard to impress me, like everyone else. You just act like yourself and that’s something I appreciate. It’s… actually kind of attractive.” 

Kent smiled at Jodi’s response, appearing calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside his brain was screaming. He couldn’t believe it. He spent hours worrying about this conversation and never expected it to turn out this way. For a moment, Kent was incredibly giddy and even forgot what awaited him in two days time. 

Only for a moment, though. The memory soon flooded back into Kent’s mind and a small frown spread across his cheeks. Sure, he finally expressed how he felt, but it would all mean nothing. He found himself once again wanting something there never seemed to be enough of: time. If only he had more time, he could take Jodi on a proper date or find a way to avoid this whole military debacle entirely. But, like always, Kent didn’t have enough time. He never seemed to these days: not enough time with his father, not enough time with Jodi, not enough time to live, to laugh, to love. He had never hated the word “time” more in his life. 

“What’s wrong?” Jodi asked, watching as Kent’s smile was replaced with the small frown. Her eyebrows knit together in concern. Had she said something wrong? Did Kent not want her to return his affection? She was just starting to understand it herself, so maybe she should have waited until she knew, for certain? 

“Just thinking,” Kent replied, moving to pull his knees toward his chest and wrap his forearms around his kneecaps. “About the next two days, I mean,” He clarified before adding, “I just wish there was more time, you know?”

“Yeah,” Jodi replied with a small nod. She moved her hand from Kent’s shoulder before resting it on top of the back of his hand, gently lacing their fingers together. “Me too,” She spoke, giving his hand a light squeeze. 

Kent glanced down when he felt the small pressure on his hand and felt his cheeks warm up. He felt a small smile creep back onto his lips before turning to look at Jodi with an embarrassed expression. “You’re holding my hand,” He spoke, motioning to their intertwined fingers with his free hand. 

“I know,” Jodi spoke, giving him a playful smile in return. She noticed the dark pink of Kent’s cheeks and raised an eyebrow, intending to tease him some more. “I can stop if it’s making you ‘too embarrassed’,” She teased, slowly removing her small hand off of Kent’s much larger one. 

Kent shook his head. Instead of letting Jodi remove her hand, he simply flipped his palm over and properly laced their hands together. The two smiled at each other and Jodi leaned her body against Kent’s, resting her head on his shoulder. 

They stayed like this for a while, simply leaning against each other. Unfortunately, the wind started to pick up and Jodi shivered - despite knowing the nights got cold in this part of the city, Jodi had forgotten her cardigan as she rushed out of her home. Kent frowned. 

“You’re freezing, Jo,” He spoke. “Take my jacket,” he offered, immediately shucking off his jacket (well, it was his father’s, really, but he always wore it) and draping it over her shoulders.

“I can’t do that,” Jodi protested, a small frown forming on her own lips as she noticed Kent was wearing a loose-fitting, short-sleeved t-shirt beneath the jacket. That must be even colder than her dress. “You’ll get cold,” She spoke as she tried to push the jacket back into his arms, but she was met with a shake of Kent’s head. 

Kent thought for a moment before laying back against the blanket. He patted the spot next to him and motioned for Jodi to lay back down. “Here, we can share it, see?” Kent explained as he draped the fabric over the two of them - content with this compromise. 

Jodi eyed him skeptically but laid down next to him anyway. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was secretly grateful Kent had offered his jacket in the first place. The jacket was definitely not big enough to cover two people fully, but they didn’t seem to care. 

However, the jacket seemed to barely provide enough warmth to keep them from shivering beneath the fabric. Jodi hesitated for a moment before scooting even closer to Kent. If you asked her reasoning, she would give some excuse about how it’s warmer than being far apart, but it was clear what her true reasoning was. Her reasoning became even more evident as she rested her head onto Kent’s shoulder. 

Kent’s eyes widened at the sudden pressure against his shoulder. He felt another wave of blush move across his face when Jodi shifted her body and propped herself up onto her side. She absentmindedly laid her arm across Kent’s chest and returned to looking at the sky. Kent had a momentary panic inside his head and his heart started beating much faster. Eventually, he calmed down and felt himself relax into her presence. He carefully draped his arm over Jodi’s upper back and shoulders. Kent then moved his free hand, slowly reaching towards Jodi’s extended arm before lacing their fingers together and gently rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. 

Kent felt that familiar feeling again: like time had stopped and nothing else in the world existed. He could almost get used to this: the peace, the comfort of Jodi’s presence, the weight of her against his chest. For once in his life, he felt nice and warm - safe, in a weird way, despite what loomed over him. He felt as if he could take on anything. His anxieties still remained, but they always seemed to quiet whenever he was around Jodi. It was nice. Unfortunately, it was also bittersweet: the world allowed him this week full of amazing memories only to take it away and laugh in his face? How was that fair? It wasn’t and Kent knew that all too well. He realized something: it may be selfish, but he didn’t know if he would be able to give it all up: the memories, the laughter, even Jodi. He also realized something else - he didn’t want to experience a life without her. 

“Hey, Starfruit?” Kent asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had enveloped the two. Jodi glanced up at him and smiled at the familiar nickname. It somehow seemed more tender and personal now. 

“Yeah, Cactus?” She replied, waiting for the next words to come out of Kent’s mouth. Her smile widened as she watched Kent process his own nickname and shake his head in a playful manner. 

“Can you do me a favor?” He spoke, his gaze softening as the words left his mouth. Kent felt his heart flutter at the nickname. Even if he hated to admit it and that it was created to tease him, he loved it when Jodi called him the name.  It was silly, yes, but it was his

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Jodi asked, raising her eyebrow skeptically. She remembered the last time one of them had asked for a “favor” - they ended up spending two hours sorting a ridiculous amount of books at her mother’s store. Jodi just hoped this wasn’t something like that. She was definitely NOT going to spend two hours of her life sorting something again. At least, not heavy books. That was definitely a mistake. 

“Marry me.” 

Jodi’s eyes widened in surprise. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She stared at Kent for a few moments before shaking her head, “You’re crazy.” 

Jodi made a motion to get up but Kent gently grabbed her hand and stopped her in her tracks. 

“Look, I know I sound insane right now, but I mean it,” Kent retorted. He sat up and carefully took Jodi’s palm, holding it in both of his hands. 

‘You’re crazy,” Jodi repeated, a small frustrated frown finding itself onto her features. “Besides,” she started, halting her attempt at trying to break free from Kent’s grip, “my mother would never allow it.” 

“Just hear me out, okay?” Kent started, gently letting go of Jodi’s hand. He took a deep breath before speaking once again, “Hear me out and then you can decide. If the answer’s no, I won’t try to force you to change your mind.” 

“Okay,” Jodi answered, his eyebrows furrowing together as the next words left her mouth, “I’m listening.” 

“Jodi, I don’t think I can imagine a life without you. I..I didn’t realize it until now, but I think you’re what has been missing from my life,” Kent fumbled over the words, his face turning slightly red in embarrassment. He fidgeted with his hands and felt a small lump form in his throat. Why was it so difficult to say what was on his mind? Jodi had always been able to read him, so why wouldn’t it work this time?  He let out a small groan of frustration and tried to find the right words. Eventually, some words managed to untangle himself from the uncooked spaghetti of his brain and he spoke, “I don’t want to spend what’s left of my life regretting what could have been. I can’t promise much, but I know that if I make it out of this alive, I’m going to love and cherish you more than anything in the world. You’re so important to me, Jodi.” 

“And, hey,” Kent added, adding a small humorless laugh before saying, “If I die, you can always marry someone else.” 

Kent waited a few more seconds, allowing Jodi to process what information he had given her thus far, before letting more of his word-vomit overflow from his lips, “I know your mother would never approve and I don’t want to ruin what you two have. If this whole thing has been a waste of your time and you never want to see me again, I wouldn’t blame you. I want you to make whatever decision you think is right, even if it hurts me. My feelings should never be more important than your own.” 

Jodi remained silent, really thinking over the words that had just been spoken to her. She thought about these past few months, about how close she and Kent had gotten, about how he had somehow changed her life and made living seem more…fun, about how little time was left, about how she may never see Kent again. She realized that she, too, couldn’t imagine living without him. She also realized Kent had given her freedoms she wasn’t able to experience before: the freedom to choose what she wanted, not what the people around her wanted. 

Jodi reached out and gently took Kent’s hand in her own. Her gaze softened as she looked at Kent’s face. She thought about what the future held, how terrifying it seemed for both of them, how you only live once, how she desperately wanted to have a future where she could live her own life.

She thought for a moment longer before finally speaking, “Yes, Kent, I’ll marry you.”

[cluelessatthispoint]

HI ITS PLATONIC YANDERE ANOM HERE AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR COMING IN YOUR ASKS AGAIN BUT I NEEDED TO GET THE IDEA OUT OF MY SYSTEM BEFORE I COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT IT IM SORRY!!!!

I keep thinking of a platonic Yandere!RED Pyro with either a BLU Engineer!Reader or BLU Spy!Reader. The idea of Pyro, an absolute menace of a human, a danger to everything and everyone to some degree, a complete pyromaniac and ABSOLUTELY NOT sane in the head caring so deeply for someone who they are supposed to kill just fills my lil heart with joy.

Yes, they did force you to join their tea party with their "friends"(who are a bunch of dead parts of your teammates), they also broke all of your weapons and MAYBE went a little overboard by "begging you to stay just a little longer"(pointing their axe at you while starting directly at your soul) but like- c'mon! You two are besties!! It's normal!!!

They just want to spend their time with you out of battle! And your corpse after a battle or your severed head that Medic was experimenting on simply doesn't hit the same spot as talking to you while you are alive and "well"! Even if that means that they will have to tie you to a chair with a "lovely red and blue ribbon"(literally the tightest and itchy rope ever known to man) and "put a do not disturb sign on the door"(locking and barricading the door so nobody can leave or enter). They just want to spend time with you!! Is it so wrong to have you by their side on work days just for a few hours?? I'm sure your team won't even notice!! Just stay calm and let your good friend Pyro help you relax and forget about the outside world :D

(SORRY THIS IS SO LONG :()

To make this easier I'm going to write the reader as the BLU Spy. I really love the idea! Pyro is such a little crazy guy and I love him, not as much as engie. But it's pretty darn close. :) No worries about the long request, the more detailed the better!!!

warnings: platonic yandere, blood, mild gore and kidnapping.

~~~~~~~~

Being hired as the new BLU Spy for the BLU team was a surreal dream come true. The opportunity to go to new places and to see new things and experience different cultures while getting paid was really a great deal. Being under the tutelage of the former BLU Spy for years now you felt more ready for this job, than at any other job. The sights, the sounds, the comradery! It was perfect. Well, almost perfect.

Having worked for the team for a little over three months you began to notice right away that there was something up with the RED Pyro. That crazy arsonist seemed to target you every time in battle. No matter if you were cloaked or in disguise, he would somehow always know that you were there. It was so humiliating!

The time you disguised yourself as the RED Sniper he seemed to know right away. Remembering how you made it as far as the door to the intel room before he rounded the corner and hacked you to pieces with an axe. It was horrible. The feeling of white-hot pain and warm blood pooling out of you was one of the feelings that you would not have repeated. That damned RED Pyro, well. he has another thing coming to him that's for sure! Today for the match you made a plan. Before the RED Pyro could find you, you would find him!

The thought made you smile. With fifteen minutes till the battle started you set to finalizing every detail. Instead of cloaking and running to the RED Sniper's nest you would track around the RED base and disguise yourself as the RED Spy. Grabbing your tools and your invis watch you made your way over to the respawn room and waited. Before too long you were joined by your fellow teammates. The noisy din echoing off the tiled walls served as a comfortable distraction.

The memories of previous battles only fueled your determination. The disturbing memory of watching the previous battle's clean up flashed briefly across your mind. How from a distance you could see the enemy Pyro go digging around in the pile of corpses looking for something. You don't know why you stayed, why you watched him from afar. Maybe it was just morbid curiosity, or maybe it was just to simply be nosy. You weren't quite sure. But when the Pyro pulled your severed head from the pile you felt your knees wobble. The way he held your corpse in his arms seemed almost tender-like.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts you readied your disguise. The voice of the Administrator signaling the start of the battle rang out loud across the field. Steeling your nerves, you cloaked yourself and headed out the door. Walking around the field, dodging bullets aimed for your fellow teammates you had only one objective in mind: to kill the RED Pyro.

Walking around the battlefield you noticed one thing that was odd. There were only eight RED's on the field. The Pyro was missing. Feeling a pit of dread well up in your abdomen you continued cautiously onwards. Finally making it inside the RED base you put on your disguise and walked freely through the halls. Every once in a while, the sound of soft footfalls from somewhere behind you made you put up your cloak in defense. Looking this way and that, there were no signs of anybody being nearby as far as you could tell.

"My nerves must be shot." Your soft voice sounded so quiet and yet so loud in the empty base.

Walking around, you couldn't find any signs of the RED arsonist anywhere. And it was really ticking you off.

Rounding a corner, you stopped dead in your tracks. There right in front of you, starring you down; like a mountain lion staring down its prey was the Pyro. Bringing a hand up to your face you adjusted your disguise, softly exhaling as you felt the paper between your gloved fingers.

"Ah, Bonsoir mon ami. I am just in here for a relaxing smoke."

Beads of sweat rolled down your masked face. Something wasn't right. The way he stared at you; something was wrong. Something here was very, very wrong. Trying to quell your rising panic you didn't notice how he took a small step forward. Then another, followed by another. Feeling your breaths increasing, you closed your eyes. Fight, flight or freeze. Three of the things that a spy should overcome if they ever wanted a chance to be successful in their career. Stopping in front of you the Pyro looked down at your disguised face. Being only a few inches shorter than him he still seemed to tower over you.

To Pyro, you looked so cute trying to disguise yourself as his friend. But he would always know who you disguised yourself as. After all you are his bestest friend. The way that you looked for him today seemed to prove that. Placing a heavy hand on your shoulder he pulled you into a hug. To you however, his hand pulled you into a chokehold. Feeling your mask slip off you flailed your arms and legs every way you could think of. Slipping free from his arms you ducked down and ran further into the base.

Feeling a smile rising to his lips he watched as you disappear as you rounded the corner. What a great friend you were; trying to find him first, then initiating a game of hide and seek. Oh boy! what fun! From the amount of time that passed from you searching him out to him choking you the battle was long over. The doors to the outside battle grounds were sealed shut. Finally happy to have his best friend over for a game of hide and seek and a sleep over he chuckled happily to himself. Oh, what a great time the two of you were going to have. Especially since the next scheduled battle would take place in a week. The idea of having a friend over for a whole week put some pep in his step.

You both were going to have a great time. Whether you liked it or not.

~~~~~~

Playing hide and seek with Pyro would be absolutely terrifying and so much fun at the same time!

[lilamala]

festival write-up! Notable artists I saw: Cobrah, Slayyyter, Domiziana, Eartheater, Isabella Lovestoryyyyyyy (and don't u ever forget it!)

Cobrah was insaneee I was in the front row and she is SUCH a performer. we showed up like 15 minutes before her set started and the stage hands were still setting up this ominous prop

before the concert i thought she might be the type not to talk at all between songs because she seems so otherwordly and alien to me but she did talk and was super cute actually haha tho during her songs she has that dominatrix-esque charisma. mesmerising. (also it was so funny how the photographers absolutely dashed towards her everytime she was popping her pussy lol) the crowd was screaming like crazyyyyy after suck. everyone give it up for cunnilingusssss also she was going crazy on the cross during that one, it didnt even cross my mind to film it because i was sooo sucked in (lol) her performance. amazing, 10/10 (the face the waist the nails the shape etc)

For Domiziana I just knew Ohne Benzin before and sort of listened to her music a bit before we went to her show and I really liked it! she only had a 45 minute set and I did think it was a bit of a shame that she shortened her already short songs in favour of playing a few covers, id rather she play her full songs and not the covers. anyway greatttt energy i liked the songs that i hadnt heard before, ive had malena and auf die party on repeat ever since. she was also super cute when she talked between songs lol before she played amore she talked to a fan who was apparently going offfff in the front row and asked her if she was single and then went "Oh mein Gott Lea ist singleeeeeeee 🤖" and her DJ turned the autotune on halfway thru that was so funny. im afraid im writing this in a boring way haha u had to be there 😌 she was actually walking around the festival the next day i saw her around! (and I also Nura formerly from SXTN once? that was kinda wild. she's way shorter than i thought)

Slayyyter was wall to wall gay men as expected lol. she absolutely has a set of pipes on her, those grand 80s type pop songs off of starfucker suit her sooo well. she was really giving diva, u know when drag queens strike a pose and do that intense stare at the crowd, thats what she was doing. she played remixes of venom and self destruct, they were def more techno than the originals, i wonder if that is fixed in her setlist or she did it bc its technically a techno festival. it was fun to see the contrast between her more melodic poppy stuff and then the super noisy songs like james dean and the aforementioned remixes. the crowd were loving it all. i loved it, shes a great perfomer and a lot of her songs really go offfff live, theres nothing like a crowd yelling "K! COKE! MONEY!" in the call response that is Purrr (one of my fav songs off starfucker!) and she introduced that song by going: "Who here has done any substances toniiiiiiiiiight!!!" to a grand cheer of the audience. amazing truly.

Eartheater was. um. well i think she had the most thankless venue/time slot combination, she was the very first act on the last day on the big stage and there weren't that many people in the beginning, though it filled up as her set went on. i don't really listen to her music, i've just heard a few songs before and someone whose musical taste i trust recommend that i see her show and it was cool musically! her fit was sick as well. she just seemed to be in a bad mood throughout? she told off some guy in the front row who was on his phone (?) during a song and showed him the middlefinger instead of singing, made some annoyed comments that you could hear the bass from another stage a bit, and then for her last song she played like 20 seconds on the guitar (which she had played during the concert before) and then she stopped and complained that it was out of tune blabla we dont have time to tune it and then sang accapella. idk ive never experienced something like that, i thought it was a bit uncomfortable to witness as an audience member tbh

Isabella Lovestory baby! my love my angel my mother. its my second time seeing her, last time was in a tiny club were i bullied myself to first row and didnt really have space to stand and had to lean on the speakers the entire show, good times. this time also front row because i am bordering on being a groupie for her. the guy next to me was filming her on his flip phone i hope u enjoy ur 144p footage of her king <3 anyway she was soooooooo good as expected! she opened with botoxx which was so great to see live, vip was fucking sick as well. and she played an unreleased song called telenovela which sounded great!! im really looking forward to her new album <3 and she possibly played another unreleased one but im not entirely sure? i didnt recognise it but she didnt announce it so idk it might just have been something off her first ep. i think kamixlo was djing? and he opened with love4eva by loona yyxy lol my weeb queen. oh actually for that stage there were like screens in the back (u can see it on the cobrah pic further up) where they projected some like mood images and isabella had some of perfume (the jpop group), tommy february6, and possibly newjeans? at some point. but anywayyyyy i love her so much it was so great to see her live again. oh and i did get a little chin caress at the end when she went down to the audience lol successful groupie moment

actually Cobrah Domiziana Slayyyter and Isabella Lovestory were all on the same smaller stage and i thought it was a bit of an issue that the lights coming from the back were way brighter than the ones from the front so they were all backlit as hell and u couldnt really see their faces a lot of the time :( but still great performances from all of them

other than that there were quite a few dj sets, i liked schwefelgelb and we checked out horsegiirl who was also cool though a bit too high energy for me at that moment. i liked her original songs that she played! my little white pony and obsessed were both good. and the horse mask really is something else lol. and i wanted to see sega bodega as well but he cancelled short notice bc of an ear infection :( get well soon king 💪

[eddieschains]

incoming sappy post for baby’s birthday

my best friend had been watching stranger things since the beginning, and once she found out i had never even finished season 1 (don’t yell at me 😅), she had a FIT. she practically forced me to watch it so that we would have something in common to talk about and jesus h christ am i glad she did.

i loved it. i finally understood why there was such a huge fandom surrounding this show. i binged it all as fast as i could. and then when i started season 4, i saw him. i was immediately transfixed by his character, his performance, and just the way he carried himself. i fell down a rabbit hole, trying to figure everything out about this man that i could which in turn, made me watch practically everything he’s ever acted in.

i just thought he was amazing. the way he’s able to just perfectly nail every single character he ever plays, and make you feel exactly what you’re supposed to feel while watching him was magic. i truly believe he is one of the greatest actors of his generation.

so i started liking a lot of photos and videos of him on instagram, and following some fan pages on there and i made a friend through him! it was crazy that after watching him in one season of a show would turn into this crazy hyper fixation over everything he could ever do 😂

and one day i got the random idea to log back into tumblr after years of abandoning it, wondering if people still write fan fiction and if they wrote about him. plot twist, they do, and im so so so glad they do. i came across @ceriseheaven and let me just say, i had NEVER read anything that transported me the way her writings did.

i read everything. i was mesmerized. i kept reading any and everything i could find about joe or eddie and that was when i found @choke-me-joey . i saw the way she would write about any and everything that could possibly come to mind when it came to joe and eddie, and somehow finding her turned into a real friendship. a friendship that i honestly will cherish for the rest of my life.

these two beautiful creatures really inspired me to start writing again after idk 8 years?? and holy shit has it been a whirlwind. i was so nervous to start again, thinking that i was going to be absolute shit. but you guys all made me feel so welcome in the writing community, and you’ve really supported me in this journey and i can’t thank you enough.

even when i was deep in my 1D phase, i never felt a sense of community like i have here. and i never developed friendships the way i have with you guys. i genuinely can barely remember what my life was like before this but i can imagine it was pretty miserable since you guys weren’t in it 😘

so happy birthday joe. thank you for everything. 🤍

[chuuyascumsock]

hey snookums 😋

how are you? i hope youre being the baddest bitch that ever bitched out there. i know you're definitely an amazing person to interact w :D

i know i said that burnout was gone but like... summer blues, i dont know- does anyone else get that? T-T

BUT i'm going to try coming back more bc i miss you and my other moots :')

im trying to write things OTHER than comfort but like... idk how.

Anygays, i love the small drabbles you've been doing!! they're healing my soul fr. and i remember the first drabble of yours that made me in absolute awe of you my dear.

IT WAS THE MECHANIC! CHUUYA ONE- GENUINELY ITS SUCH A MASTERPIECE AND DROVE ME CRAZY 🥰

so thats when i started religiously becoming your #1 fan def.

(also i kind of want to rant to someone but at the same time i dont bc its just random but also i dont want to put my stuff on anyone else you know? because everyone has their own stuff to deal with and it would be horrible to add onto anyone else's stuff)

im doing great (real)

sorry this was a dump kind of T-T i love interacting w you, makes me so happy knowing i get to interact w someone i respect and admire a lot!!!

with love

sugar tits

Hey Pookie <33

I’m doing pretty good, I’ve been writing Drabbles as of lately to keep the babes at bay as I work on my fics. I felt bad for not giving anyone anything to hold over on because I was working a bunch (which I got my hours fixed, but it burnt me out to the point I went nonverbal for awhile because I was so exhausted mentally interacting with customers all day— who don’t read the “be nice to our employees” signs btw so there’s some assholes for sure and I have to be nice even though I want to tell them to suck a dick 😭). But since I’m feeling a little better, I’m trying to give you guys something at least. (I also plan to draw a pride picture with my insert, Fem Chuuya, and Fem Dazai in honor of the lesbians because we love women 😩).

Anyways, if you’re having trouble wanting to write things, you could always brainstorm with me, I don’t mind. I find that I have a ton of ideas that I don’t put to use, so I wouldn’t mind sharing them and I’d love to see them in someone’s writing (only if you want to though <33).

Also, I loooove, love, love— when you guys like my writing at all, it really boosts how I feel about my own writing. I get scared to post something sometimes because I don’t think that it’s good enough for you guys, so it’s a relief when you guys do 🫶

If you need anyone to rant to, I’ll be here btw, the second thing I love most is hearing about people’s problems or getting to know all about them. If I wasn’t an art major, psychology was going to be my next pick and I would be a therapist. I only chose art major because interior designers make bank where I live and I like decorating, so :]

Thank you for the ramble, my dear, I hope you have a nice day ❤️