#absolutely no regrets since. it was hard to do and a painful decision to make but good god my quality of life improved

[neallo]

abruptly realizing i dropped out of grad school like a year ago <3 yay!!!

[happy74827]

Forced to Listen

[Dean Winchester x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Dean hated it when you hunted him down for advice, and he also hated that you knew exactly how to bait him into listening.

WC: 1082

Category: Fluff, Ranter!Reader, Mentions of Cheating, Sam being absolutely useless (iconic).

Can you believe that it’s been TWO WHOLE YEARS since I last wrote of him?? I’m so angry at myself 😭😭

『••✎••』

Dean could sense what was coming when he watched you stomp towards him with nothing but a small bottle of beer. The look on your face was one he had come to recognize over the years.

It was the one that said that you were about to coerce him into listening to your woes, and he had no other choice but to do it. The heat outside was unbearable, the kind that made Dean strip off his flannel and ditch the leather jacket, leaving him in his sweat-covered shirt.

But as he stood under the hood of the Impala, trying to get her to start, that bottle of beer was calling his name. The promise of the cool, carbonated drink sliding down his throat, relieving him from the dryness that had settled in his mouth, was something he desperately craved. And you knew that. That's why you were headed straight for him.

"Hey, Dean," you said innocently, the small bottle of beer dangling from your hand.

Dean sighed, his gloved hands pausing as he glanced up at you. He really wasn’t in the mood to listen to you whine about what was going on in your life, but that bottle of beer was too tempting to pass up. It was his favorite brand, too.

Goddamn it, you really were a temptress.

"Two minutes,” he grunted out, holding his hand out for the beer. "I'll give you two minutes."

You grinned, placing the bottle of beer in his open hand. In a matter of seconds, half the liquid was gone, and you were waiting impatiently for him to give you the sign to begin.

After another second, a sigh of content slipped from his mouth, and he nodded, signaling you to start.

You didn’t waste any time. "Do you think I'm a bitch?"

"I think you're a pain in my ass," Dean retorted, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. It didn’t make much difference since his hand was already covered in dirt and grease, but it made him feel a little better. "Don’t tell me you came over here just to ask me that?"

"No, I'm serious, Dean," you insisted. "Do you actually think I'm a bitch?"

You were staring up at him now, the look on your face completely unreadable. You were waiting for an answer, but he had a feeling that no matter what answer he gave, it wouldn't make a difference.

So, he just raised his eyebrows, silently telling you to go on while he took another sip of his beer.

"Dating's hard, Dean," you started, and he already felt a groan coming on. He did not want to have this conversation. "I just don't get it. Why am I not good enough for them? Why do I keep getting cheated on?"

You were pacing around the car as you spoke, and Dean kept his eyes on the beer. As you went on about everything that was bothering you, the more he regretted his decision to drink that damn thing.

"Am I not attractive? Am I not smart enough? What is it, Dean?" You looked at him, hoping for an answer. But when you realized he wasn't paying that much attention to what you were saying, you let out a scoff. "Great, so I'm not even good enough for you to listen to me? God, Dean, you are such a douche."

Dean rolled his eyes and finally looked up at you, the annoyance clearly visible. "Can I get back to fixing up my baby, now?"

"Would you date me?" You asked, suddenly, a hint of desperation in your voice. "Am I worth dating?"

God, you were killing him. He’d rather get heatstroke than continue this conversation, and he was sure Sammy would agree on his behalf.

He could actually see his baby brother from where he stood. He was a few yards away, sitting in the shade. A book in his hand, but his eyes were on the two of you.

Was he…? Oh hell no.

He was laughing.

Sammy was having a good time watching him squirm under your gaze, doing absolutely nothing despite avoiding the work Bobby needed help with.

Oh, was Dean pissed off. He’d get his payback soon, hopefully. It would be whenever he actually gets away from you and fixes up his car. Baby always comes first.

"I mean, c'mon, Dean," you pressed on. "Just give me some advice. You were with so many women, and they were all beautiful and perfect, so what's wrong with me?"

You were pouting, and Dean felt like throwing his beer bottle on the ground and stomping on it. This was the worst two minutes of his life.

"There’s nothing wrong with you,” he finally said, looking you in the eye. "You could be a pain in the ass, but unfortunately, I’m apparently the only one who has to deal with it, so... yeah. You're fine."

"Fine? I'm fine?"

"Yup," Dean replied. He turned back to the Impala, taking the last swig of his beer and tossing the empty bottle into your hands. "Thanks for the beer. Is that all?”

"I just feel… I don't know. I feel like I'm not good enough, ya know?" You said a sad look on your face. "Like there's something wrong with me. Something that's making everyone leave me."

"Listen," Dean started. He looked at you again, but all of his annoyance was gone. The two minutes were definitely up; he could quite literally kick you out of sight, but with the look you had on your face, he just couldn’t do it.

So, despite Sam’s utter lack of help, he was going to do his best to try to make you feel better.

"It's not you, alright?" He assured. "There's nothing wrong with you. If a guy can't see that, then he doesn't deserve you, okay? Trust me, you will have no problem finding someone else."

The corners of your lips twitched, turning into a small smile. "Yeah?"

Dean nodded, giving you a smirk. "If you want, I could always give out the ole hunter's special with your past one. Bobby could use a new rug for his living room."

A loud snort slipped past your mouth, and Dean was satisfied.

"Okay, Winchester," you said. "This is my sign to get the hell out of here."

And so you did, but before you could get even slightly close to the house, he called out to you.

"Oh, and by the way," he said, a small smile forming on his face. If you thought it was going to be wholesome, then you were sorely mistaken.

"Next time you come to me to talk about your feelings, at least have a damn pie."

[earthtooz]

rin kiss cam absolutely a masterpiece, i loveeee it so much <3 but i got an opposite idea. since you are very damn talented writing for sae, perhaps where you and sae had an argument which upset you so much, you have been ignoring him. then the following day, sae has a football match. after the match which of course they win, all the cams are on you and he said “please give me another chance to fix this, us” THEN THEN he held a massive bouquet of roses DJOWJDOSHDJSJDJ

for @limitlesshq - changed up the storyline a little, anon, sorry! your ask gave me inspiration for this, i'm sorry if you don't like the alterations, but i hope you enjoy nevertheless! this is VERY unedited.

sae, who has a sharp tongue and an even sharper attitude to match with that blunt personality of his. sae, whose words burn and singe your skin, leaving searing pain behind that you try not to show, especially when the venom drips onto your skin and brands you with shame, humiliation, and wrath. sae, who has never talked to you like he had in the argument you had two nights ago.

since then you hadn't talked to him, cringing at the thought of messaging him and reaching out. your friends tell you that you should try and mend whatever has happened, that knowing the two of you, sae's probably feeling the same and misses you too. your heart agrees but your conscious is still a little scarred, wincing when you recall the words that were thrown around.

sae had sent you a few posts here and there- like he sometimes does on instagram (they're hardly funny and you're still trying to find a way to tell him that), and you would only respond with a double click of the message instead of a proper response. other than that, he hadn't reached out in any other way.

the problem was that tonight you had a match to attend, with tickets that sae personally booked for you so it'd be a little harsh to not go.

just because you were still... upset at him doesn't mean that you didn't love him.

but did he want you there? what if he doesn't want to see you? what if he's still mad? that's probably why he hasn't made any attempts to try and talk it out and lord knows that you're still too busy fighting your own thoughts to make the first move.

pathetic really, it is, but when itoshi sae is your partner and the person who you have to apologise to... it's a little hard...

nevertheless, you go. your eyes lingered on the jersey he had given you, debating on whether or not you should wear it.

you decide against it, walking out of your apartment with a sinking feeling that it was a decision you'd regret. at least you still looked cute.

arriving at the stadium, you occupy your seat quite quickly especially since you were watching solo today. it's always daunting to be alone, especially in an environment like this, but you don't want any of your friends to witness how rocky you and sae are right now, so just purchasing this one ticket was a good idea.

even if that meant you had to cure your own boredom by scrolling on your phone whilst waiting for the match to start.

despite your indifferent front, your stomac was doing somersaults from where you jittered with anxiety. was showing up the right move? what if he didn't want you here?

then the stadium announcers begin talking, shushing everyone almost immediately as the teams are introduced. each running onto the grassy field when it's their turn, basking the roars and screams of the crowd that came to support them.

when real madrid comes out, your eye immediately lands on the figure of your boyfriend. although you can't see him all that clearly, it's not hard to identify him from his magenta hair and build; one that you see practically all the time (excluding the last three days).

he's scanning through the crowd, whipping his head around as if in search for someone, and when he finds the vip section for real madrid, his eyes land on you. you can't see him clearly, but there's a shift from his figure, his aura darkening as he slows his steps a little, falling behind from his team.

a fellow teammate has to push sae a little to snap him out of whatever funk he was in and a part of you twists uncomfortably at this weird behaviour of his.

all because he saw you. maybe it wasn't the right choice to come tonight. what if you impact his play?

the kickoff begins before you can think too much about it and the match officially starts, the players scrambling around the field.

90 minutes are over before you can count, the victory going to real madrid (to your relief because thank goodness you didn't affect their precious midfielder).

however, where you thought you would head home immediately after the match, it seems like sae has other plans as he runs towards the barriers separating the audience and the field, eyes locked on you the whole time. he beckons for you to come over and with a little hesitation, you do, weaving through exiting crowds in anticipation for what he'd need.

"congrats for the win," you say in greeting, plastering on a smile to give him the false perception that you were okay. he didn't need a victory to be soiled. that'd be a rough way to end such a pleasant event.

he doesn't meet your smile. instead, his eyes seem troubled, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks you up and down again and again, as if his eyes are deceiving him.

"you're not wearing my jersey," he says finally, looking back up at you with turmoil clear in his eyes.

"oh," you look down at your own outfit. "yeah. i decided not to."

"why?"

"well after our argument i didn't know where we stand," you confess shyly. he frowns further before stepping back.

then he takes off his jersey- the one he was wearing, and fiddles with it until it's facing a certain way. he had a long sleeve shirt on underneath but without the jersey, you can see that he's wearing the couples necklace you got for your anniversary.

he then threads the jersey on over you and despite being shocked at his abrupt actions, you comply nevertheless, weaving your arms through the holes.

sae hums in approval and you feel a little gross wearing his sweat-sopped shirt, but he looks content and happy. a stark contrast to the troubled expression he was wearing previously.

you open your arms for a hug. he accepts it, winding his arms around your torso as yours go around his neck. the athlete breathes you in, relishing in the feeling of being so close to you after so long.

"are we okay?" he asks, voice muffled as sae hugs you a little tighter.

"yeah," you respond. he takes his head out of your shoulder, indifferent eyes glossy. you think they're tears, but you're not going to give yourself such high credit.

"missed you. i hate it when you're mad at me."

you chuckle, pressing a kiss to his nose, causing him to scrunch his face at the sensation. "i wasn't mad, sae. i thought you would be."

"me? why?"

"i don't know. you're kind of scary, y'know. especially to those who have wronged you or you don't care about."

he softens before bringing his head to your shoulder again, finding solace in your touch. "but you're neither."

"noted," you laugh, running your hands through his hair. everything feels okay again.

you only find out after the match that sae was hoping you'd come all along and that he even brought gifts for you as a way of apologising after the match.

[ahsxual]

Could we maybe have a smut with doug like maybe he billys the reader but decides to fuck her and leave her alone after

Dark Fear & Pleasure

Pairing: Doug Van Housen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: MINORS DNI +18!!, rough sex, extremely mean Doug, fear play, pain kink, reader gets bullied, CNC, cumming inside w/o permission, heavy degradation/humiliation, name-calling (verbal abuse), mentions of stalking, cursing, mean!Dom!Doug x sub!Fem!Reader, possessive!Doug, spanking, dacryphilia, fingering, p in v (w/o protection)

Genre:(Heavy) Smut

Word Count: 2,2k

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS FIC HAS DARK THEMES, IF YOU'RE AGAINST ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THE WARNINGS, DO NOT READ IT!!!

A/N: This is definitely the darkest and nastiest fic I've ever written... I was absolutely drooling over this request!! Doug turns me on sm and that's so alarming, but Idc. Please, be aware that this fic contains extremely heavy themes! Anyway, I hope I wrote Doug right and that you guys enjoy this 🤭😈 tagging: @aliceblxck @twelvelevens @unidentifiablesubject <3

"Leave me alone, you freak!" you couldn't take it anymore. You'd had enough. Ever since Doug laid his eyes on you, he wouldn't stop stalking you and humiliating you in front of his group, reveling in the fear and vulnerability you showed towards him. It made him feel powerful, like he could control you like a small, fragile bunny whenever he wanted to or felt bored.

This time, he crossed all your limits, invading your house while your parents were away. And this time he came alone, not bringing his friends to join in his "fun" with you, as he call it. How could he know you were home alone? Why was he so obsessed with you to the point of knowing your routine and discovering that your parents were going to spend the weekend away, leaving you unsafe for any creep who wanted to assault you? And now there you were, trapped between a pair of a psychopath's arms against the wall of your bedroom, his face so close to yours that you could feel his hot breath on your cheek. His grin was filled with malice, like a venomous snake analyzing its prey, ready to strike at any moment.

"And what fun would that be? I like tormenting you way too much, little bunny. You're so easy to scare... It actually turns me on." then you felt a warm tongue lick your wet tears running from your chin, while he moaned at the taste of fear in them.

You felt disgusted once you felt him get hard against you, so you impulsively spit on his face. You immediately regretted your bold action the moment you saw his blue irises darken so much until you could no longer see its color anymore. You'd never seen him so furious, as his jaw clenched so hard so as not to fall into the temptation of killing you right there.

"That's enough! You need to learn some manners and not disrespect who's in charge of you, you pathetic bitch!" you then felt his strong hands throw you harshly onto your bed, making you groan in pain. You were simply relieved that he hadn't thrown you to the rigid floor.

"Please Doug, what do you want from me...!?" you were feeling desperate by now, your fresh tears blurring your vision from the man who was about to destroy you.

"What do I want from you?" he chuckled, clearly mocking you like he always did. "I wanna be the one who's responsible for corrupting that cunt of yours. I bet you're not as innocent as you look... I bet you're tighter and wetter than any girl I've fucked before. And I'm gonna turn you into my sex slave for whenever I feel my balls full and want to warm up my cock. Are you more clear about my intentions with you now, huh?" he grunted before he forcefully grabbed your hair, forcing you to look at him as you winced in pain.

"No Doug, please don't... anything but that!!" you would be lying if you said that his words didn't make your panties wet and empty pussy clench around nothing, but you would never admit it to the man who's been tormenting you for months.

"Do you really think you can make a decision here?" he laughed at you. "Unfortunately, neither mommy or daddy are going to be here to help their sweet daughter from getting fucked by someone who just wants to abuse her slutty cunt. What a shame..." he slapped you across the face, purposely causing your cheek to burn and sting in pain. "You're so pathetic... and it makes my cock so hard." he said confidently, with pure danger evident in his words, before licking the top of your sternum all the way up to your chin with his long tongue.

"Why are you doing this...?" it was barely a whisper, but Doug could hear you perfectly. You looked away from him while he was pinning your wrists, restraining you with the weight of his body, while his free hand gripped your breasts and nipples roughly. He was way stronger and intimating then he looked, and the thought of being at his mercy absolutely terrified you.

"If you're a good girl for me and don't fight much, maybe I'll have pity on you..." he laughed as he said those words, making you believe he was lying with every tooth he had in his mouth. "But on second thought, I'd actually like to see you fight back." was all he said, before turning you over and shoving your face into your pillow to prevent you from breathing properly as he unbuckled his belt.

"Nooo, Doug!!" You screamed and tried to push him off you as you begged for his mercy, but that only seemed to turn him on even more, since it was completely useless. In one abrupt movement, you felt him pull your shorts and panties off, as he stared at your glistening pussy.

"Holy fuck, look at this... You're enjoying this as much as I am, you freaky slut. I knew I could corrupt you... This cunt is my fucking property now, you understand me?" you felt a hard slap on your ass, leaving a red handprint from his big hand. It hurt like hell, yet you couldn't ignore the pleasure that ran through your spine until it reached your core.

He kept spanking you until your ass was all red and sore. Once he got bored of it, he decided to check one more time if his actions turned you on even more, soon realizing that his suspicions were absolutely correct.

"You're even wetter now, little bunny... you should be ashamed of yourself for enjoying this. You do realize now that I'm not gonna stop ruining this pussy whenever I want to, right?" you moaned as you felt two long fingers enter you without any care and fuck you hard as if it were his dick.

"Stop it Doug, please, it hurts! It's too much!!" you whimpered loudly, no longer able to distinguish pleasure from pain. You'd never been intimate with a guy with hands as big as Doug's, and it hurt so good.

"Good." was all he said before speeding up his pace. He grabbed your hair so you could breath, and when he pushed you back against your pillow, you came and screamed from the intensity of your orgasm.

"Look at that... after all the bitch likes me to humiliate and hurt her." he whispered with a clear smirk on his face, as he looked down at his cum-covered fingers, before grabbing you by the hair to make eye contact with you.

"Open. Now." not wanting to test him any further, you opened your mouth hesitantly as he shoved two fingers in forcefully, making you gag around them.

"You better suck my fingers clean or I swear I'll make you choke on them until you pass out, you slut." you did as he said, afraid to face the consequences of his promises. When you finished, he took his fingers out of your mouth and put them in his own while staring deeply into your eyes.

"Doug, please..." you no longer knew what you were pleading for: for him to let you go or for him fuck you like the wild animal he was. You began to feel your body, especially your pussy, craving his cock and touch, making you feel slightly dizzy from the adrenaline and pleasure coursing through your blood.

"It'll feel better if you want it too, trust me. You're wet enough not to hurt your pretty pussy too much, so don't worry. I'll be gentle with you." he promised with blatant lies and fake enthusiasm as he brushed the pieces of hair from your face that were sticky with sweat, before laughing and mocking your face.

He then pushed you down hard so that you were lying on your back, while he ripped off your top to expose your tits and erect nipples, leaving you completely naked and vulnerable for him and his hungry eyes.

"No bra, huh? You're making this so much easier for me, little bunny. Now... don't even think about fighting back, because I promise you it will hurt." you couldn't stop crying, yet you couldn't stop craving him either.

You'd probably just discovered a new kink of yours that was unknown to you until then, or you'd only noticed that moment how profoundly attractive you were to Doug, even though he bullied you and made fun of you almost every day. It was extremely bizarre, however your dynamic was something you felt very addicted to, like a sweet poison that you couldn't stop drinking no matter how deadly and poisonous it was.

He was still fully clothed, which made you feel even more humiliated about the whole situation you were in. But as soon as he pulled down his black pants and boxers... you wished you could still see him fully dressed and not come face to face with the monster he was hiding between his legs.

"Holy shit..." you cursed wide-eyed, praying that you could take him all without being ripped apart from the inside out. You saw his proud, wide grin reappear, making you realize that he enjoyed watching your fear and horror at taking him inside you way too much.

"Scared? I'll make it all fit no matter what, so you better be."

The moment he penetrated you, it was as if the entire world had collapsed on you. You felt like you'd been drugged, since you could no longer think or see straight. To your surprise, it didn't hurt like you thought it would, your wetness and lust for him causing your pussy to immediately adjust to his huge size. However, it did hurt when he started pounding into you, his long cock slamming into your cervix at a fast, rough pace. Your screams were mistaken for moans of real pleasure, making him groan too at the feeling of your tight, welcoming cunt. When he changed position to fuck you deeper, you grabbed the bit of skin of his back that wasn't covered and dug your nails in until he grunted in pain.

"Fuck, I've wanted to destroy this fucking pussy for so long..." he whispered to himself with his eyes closed, loud enough for you to hear him. His confession made you clench around him as you came on his cock, since he was hitting your g-stop over and over again.

"No no, you're gonna look into my fucking eyes as you cum and ask for my fucking permission!" he shouted at you with an angry face, before slapping you as reminder not to dare desobey him. He didn't stop until he made you cum a second time with his cock, this time doing as he told you, which deepened the intensity of your last orgasm of the night.

"That's it little bunny, that's how I like my girl... Obedient to her owner like a well behaved whore."

"P-please, don't cum inside me! I'm begging you, please!!" you implored him the moment you felt him reach his orgasm, but as you expected, he did exactly the opposite of what you wished for.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do! I'll cum wherever I want and you'll thank me for that, you ungrateful slut." these were his last words, before cumming deep inside you, his thick sperm coating your walls so deliciously.

When he pulled his cock out of you, still half hard, he stared at you with pride. You were looking like a mess: naked and covered in dark hickeys, your sweaty hair all messed up, your face covered in black mascara while your eyelids were half shut from exhaustion and your chest heaving rapidly from your deep breathing. When you felt some of your energy slowly being replenished, you covered your naked body with your arms and knees as you looked out of the window, while reliving what had just happened in your mind.

"Hey, you came three times with my fingers and my cock. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it too. In fact, I did you a favor, so be grateful. I bet no other guy will fuck you this good." he said while buttoning his pants.

Before climbing out of your window, he stopped halfway and looked back at you, lying in a fetal position while you clutched your legs to your chest. He slowly approached you and knelt down to your level, watching you carefully before one of his hands tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

"I promise I'll leave you alone from now on, my little bunny... But I can't promise I won't come back to taste that sweet pussy of yours again." he chuckled darkly, as you felt him kiss your forehead firmly, before getting up and leaving your bedroom through your window.

And just like that, he disappeared in the middle of the night, as if the devil himself had paid you a visit to remind you who you belong to.

[evilkitten3]

Mutual, I'm lowkey obsessing over your tags about akatsuki Tsunade, can you elaborate more the basic timeline? Like how this would affect Tsunade's arc in classic and such

tbh i hadn't really thought about it lol

but.... let's say it happens during the search for tsunade arc? orochimaru and jiraiya are both gunning to get her on their side but you know what? the shark man said please. get your shit shizune we're going with these guys if you poison the little red-eyed shit on the way no judgement (kisame: maybe don't though?)

jiraiya is pissed, orochimaru is torn between being amused bc wow and being in agonizing pain bc his arms still don't work, naruto keeps trying to get her to come heal lee (and now sasuke) but she's having none of it so she just throws a file of miscellaneous notes at his head and tells him "find someone with good chakra control and pray" (sakura: omg i have good chakra control!!!!)

weirdly the member of team seven affected most by this is sasuke bc sakura has absolutely no fucking clue what she's doing at first and it takes her like an extra month to wake him up, so he needs to get back on his feet before he can decide if he wants to run off to orochimaru or not. lee is.... kinda sol, frankly. sakura works really really hard to help him out, and she's eventually able to get him to a place where he can do a few things, but by the time she's good enough to really be able to help him it's way too late. fortunately he's adapted somewhat, and being lee he's surpassed what anyone thought he'd be able to, but he's never going to be what he could've been. gaara feels terrible about this ofc but lee isn't the sort to really hold a grudge, even if pretty much everyone agrees he'd be perfectly justified in doing so. gai never forgives tsunade, though, not really.

concerning tsunade's role in the akatsuki.... the thing is, it's her own grandparents who started the whole jinchuuriki mess. and she's seen with her own two eyes what konoha did to places like amegakure; she was part of it. she doesn't like that the jinchuuriki die post extraction, so she starts looking into how to make that not happen, but if she does succeed, it isn't until after the gaara debacle, so chiyo still dies. her biggest motivation here is naruto - she doesn't agree with him, but he reminds her of nawaki, so she really doesn't want him to die if at all avoidable. she doesn't get too involved in the actual jinchuuriki capturing process tho; she's more useful patching people up after.

having said that, she doesn't fully agree with pain and konan's plan, she just can't really think of anything better. tobi tells sasuke about itachi while tsunade is patching him up, and since it's her family that led to this, she's pretty on-board with the whole "fuck this stupid baka village" thing (ofc she's been heading down that path since joining the akatsuki, so this isn't like canon!tsunade suddenly making this call; there's a couple years of character development first), so.... she's effectively on team sasuke at this point, and once he splits from the akatsuki she does as well.

iirc, post danzou, sasuke spent about eight and a half volumes just kinda adjusting mostly offscreen to his recent ert (eyeball replacement therapy), before skewering og white zetsu and fucking off to go accidentally reunite with zombitachi, but aside from decking itachi through a few trees on sight, idk how much about all that would change. immediately after, when sasuke brings back orochimaru, they have an awkward reunion, followed by yet another awkward reunion when orochimaru brings back the four dead hokage. she's both very happy to see her granddad again, but it's hard for her to tell him (and hiruzen, for that matter) that she deserted the village completely, even if she doesn't regret her decision.

now you may be wondering: weren't shizune and tonton also around? yes! but when sasuke went after danzou, they stayed behind, leading to shizune finding and managing to save konan after tobito killed her. there's a potential romance subplot there as well but i accidentally ruined it for myself by saying aloud "two girls one pig" and then regretting my whole life.

the other survival is jiraiya; he becomes hokage instead since it's either one of the sannin or one of the elders, and as much as he doesn't want the job, he really doesn't want them to have it. this in part means he can't go spying in ame himself, although he very nearly does after orochimaru's death gets reported, but instead he sends someone else. that person dies, but manages to get the information back to him (it has to be someone important to naruto, and it can't be kakashi, so maybe iruka? but idk how he'd be in espionage. maybe one of naruto's classmates did spy training offscreen? it's entirely possible with jiraiya as hokage instead of tsunade but idk). since jiraiya isn't a healer, he'd either need to be injured badly enough for danzou to be able to step in without him being able to object, or sasuke would just need to have his fight with danzou somewhere else (so the raikage's arm might survive also).

the final thing is that, unlike in canon, this version of tsunade never got naruto therapy'd, so while she does eventually get over the hemophilia somehow (maybe just existing in the relative vicinity of hidan did the trick), she never really dealt with the grief that caused her to leave konoha in the first place, so that's still very much there. however, i think maybe this could work to the story's advantage - instead of just naruto vs sasuke, it could be naruto and sakura vs sasuke and tsunade. tho in this instance sasuke really isn't alone, and isn't really trying to be by that point. it's more a battle of "do we try to fix the system from within, or do we really need to start from scratch for things to improve in any meaningful way", but ultimately the winner is the realization that four people from konoha not only shouldn't but honestly can't be the only ones making this call. if the world is going to move forward, it can't be dragged by a single person, or even two people. it's gotta be a group effort. idk if the story should go into the details of what they decide on, bc i'm definitely not politically savvy enough for something like that, or just have an open ending leaving whatever happens next up to interpretation.

(sorry this took so long lol i kept having to do things XD)

[deiaiko]

#22.9 Kindness

Ran woke up with far less aching than he anticipated. Though what shocked him more was that the long haired FUG was the first one to greet him.

"Oh. Hello." The FUG guy, Bam –as A.A called him– wore a soft smile, but half of his face was still hidden behind his long bangs. Ran didn't know if he wanted to respond to him or not. 

"Ran~!" Shibisu cried fake tears, "My cutie~ you made me worried!" Ran grimaced when Shibisu leaped from his seat with two hands outstretched. He was so troublesome, but at least he was good at noticing the line he shouldn't cross, by stopping himself from actually enveloping Ran in an embrace.

Ran gritted his teeth and pushed himself up to sit to get a better look at his surroundings. Seemed like there were only the three of them in the room.

"Mr. Agni said he has healed most of your injuries, and he left you here to rest until you feel better." Bam informed him unprompted. "Khun and Mr. Rak had just left to get lunch at the cafeteria, they should be back soon."

Ran ignored him. He had no intentions to be friendly with this guy. He also noticed that Shibisu was oddly quiet, observing him and Bam. And Ran felt his judging stare pricking his skin and poking his conscience.

Bam glanced at Shibisu, and Shibisu raised an eyebrow. They seemed to have a short telepathic conversation.

"Ah, sorry. I should've introduced myself first. My name's Bam, but you can also call me Viole. I'm Mr– ah, I'm Shibisu's old teammate."

Ran already knew. He had heard about Bam from hushed tales between his allies; about an irregular that took the test with A.A's team and died back on the second floor.

Despite the fact that this person named Bam was long gone, A.A's world seemed to still revolve around him. Like how he couldn't seem to let go of their team that bickered all the time, and how his goal was to take that annoying blonde girl to climb despite his unsubtle hatred toward her.

But the worst of it was how A.A would be so hard on himself to ensure every floor test went perfectly. 

And truthfully, Ran had hated this Bam ever since, for making A.A live like that.

"Are you thirsty, Ran? You haven't spoken in a bit." Shibisu pulled Ran out of his thoughts.

Ran cleared his throat at the mention. And Shibisu was right; his throat actually felt so dry that he wanted to talk even less. Too troublesome.

"Ah, right. Uhm…here." Bam picked up and offered him a glass of water, along with a pill in a small container. "Mr. Agni told us to give this to you, he said it could help relieve some pain."

Ran was skeptical about taking the pill, so he only accepted the water. He watched Bam place the container back on the table, silently glad that neither of them forced him to take it.

Bam was being really thoughtful so far. Maybe he'd consider giving Bam a chance to justify himself. To prove that he could be forgiven for hurting A.A in such a way.

"...Ran." Ran mumbled, "My name's Ran."

Bam beamed and Ran had to mentally squint from the sudden rays of sunlight, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Ran! If you need anything else, just tell me. I'll do my best to assist you."

Ah, troublesome. Ran immediately regretted his decision.

However, now he understood why A.A had been so devoted. A.A was weak to kindness, because Ran knew they both grew up without it. And as far as Ran knew, A.A had always chased after something hard to attain, one of a kind. Whether it was jewelry, weapons, authority,...even people. And Bam fit the criteria too well.

The automatic door opened and revealed A.A. Their eyes inevitably locked and A.A's disappointment was clear to Ran.

Think of the devil…Ran felt his annoyance bar rapidly rising.

"What did I tell you?" A.A navigated his way to them, not once breaking his glare. "Only consume redan when it's absolutely necessary."

Ran was taking none of it. "Hmph!" He had lots of fun with the spar, so he wouldn't say he regretted it.

A moment passed with A.A still staring daggers into him. It almost made Ran feel bad. Almost. In the end, A.A sighed and let it slide. "Suit yourself."

A.A brought three plates filled with an assortment of food. Though Ran figured that none of them were for him. Ran's stomach rumbled defiantly when the smell reached his nose.

Instead of being teased, Ran was taken aback when Bam offered him his yet untouched food. "You can have this, Mr. Ran."

Ran didn't know how to react to that, feeling a little uncomfortable. He felt like it would be wrong to refuse, but he didn't want it. He looked at A.A instead, hoping that he'd get the hint.

A.A noticed this and said, "You don't have to be nice to him, Bam."

"Hm? Why?"

Unfortunately A.A didn't say a better explanation other than, "Because that's how it is with him."

Shibisu slung his arms around Bam's neck. "What Khun meant is…Ran appreciates your thoughtfulness, but I think he would rather get his own food than take yours because he doesn't want to bother you. Right?"

Isu winked at Ran, and Ran rolled his eyes. That was not exactly true, but it was a softer way to put it. "As he said."

"Ah," Bam retracted his offering hands, "I see."

Ran wasted no time and swung his feet off the bed, glad to find that they weren't hurting as much. 

Bam had leaped from his seat as well, ready to catch Ran with his free hand if Ran didn't make it to stand. However it only made Ran much more eager to leave the room and get away from Bam.

Getting nice gestures from someone else he barely knew usually means they have ulterior motives, and he was so tired of being treated that way.

Bam might have meant well, seeing how much A.A trusted Bam. But Ran just hadn't gotten used to receiving kindness.

"Well then," Ran went for the door and it automatically opened for him. He didn't bother to look back to check if they followed him out. "I'll go and get some food."

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[bingbongsupremacy]

Forget Me Not Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: I haven't seen any of the marvel movies in a while so this is my own made up version of the tower and all of that. I don't remember it haha.

Summary of Series: After an unexpected encounter with HYDRA, Bucky is left without memory of who you are.

Fic Summary: Bucky is finally released from the hospital and back at the tower. No matter what you do, you can't seem to avoid him.

*Not Proof Read*

*****

It's been a week since Bucky got back. Steve's been with him the entire time. I just don't know what to do.

Did I make the right decision not telling him who I am? It's less complicated without a partner, right?

It's been hard to avoid him. Our rooms are literally down the hall from each other, and he's usually in the main rooms with Steve when he's not busy working out.

I've had to completely change my schedule, now going to the gym in the middle of the night just to avoid an accidental encounter.

It's not that I'm upset with him...I just don't know what to say. It's like we're starting all over again. How can I do that? I know everything about him already. His passions, the things he loves most in life. I know his deepest secrets and regrets, his hopes and dreams.

And he...well he knows nothing about me.

All those late nights spend talking while staring at the stars, completely gone from his memory. All the city dates we went on, completely in the past.

How am I supposed to just look at him and start over? I guess I did this to myself, insisting that no one tell him about us. I deserve the pain I'm getting from this. I chose this.

A knock at my door pulls me from my thoughts.

It's four in the morning, who in the hell is up?

I pull open the door and am immediately met with two pairs of eyes. Of course they'd be up at four in the morning, they're probably working out.

" Steve? " I question, trying not to let my gaze slide over to the waiting brown haired man.

" Y/N, I need to ask you a huge favor. " Steve's eyes are wide with panic.

" What is it? " I ask, shifting to my other foot. I tap the door handle nervously.

Steve begins to explain. " There was an attack in Manhattan yesterday, We need to head there as soon as possible. I figured since you're on temporary leave...maybe you could help Buck out? "

My heart begins to pound faster. " What? "

Steve lowers his voice so the man a few feet behind him can't hear. " He's still so confused about everything. He doesn't even know how to work the Elevator by himself. " Steve lets out a sigh. " I can't leave him by himself, not until we're sure HYDRA didn't reactivate him. " He explains. " Please, Y/N, I wouldn't be asking this unless I absolutely had no other choice.

I glance over at the other man. His attention was quickly turned to the huge window a few feet away.

" Steve, I don't know. " I begin.

" Please, Y/N. It'll just be for a day or two. Just until we get everything calmed down. People's lives are at stake, Y/N. " Steve's expression is filled with worry.

I let out a sigh. " Fine. Two days. "

______

I stare at the screen ahead, flipping through channels. News about the attack in Manhattan flood just about every channel, each with a different news caster telling the story.

" Can I try? "

I turn my head in the direction of the familiar voice. The voice I've heard for years. " What? " I ask in confusion.

Bucky's eyes glance down at the remote in my hand. " Can I try changing the channel? " His voice sounds...nervous. Unsure if I'll let him.

I nod. " Yeah, of course. " I hand the thin item over to him. " Just press that to change it. "

Bucky nods, a small hint of relief on his face. He flips through the channels.

We sit there in silence, nothing but the buzz of noise coming from the tv making a sound.

" Are you hungry? " I ask, finally acknowledging the ache in my stomach.

" Yeah, actually. " Bucky nods. " I just, uh, I don't know how to get to the kitchen. "

I let out a small smile. " It's alright, I'll help you. " I lead him towards the elevator. I explain the different buttons to him, letting him press the right one to take us to the kitchen.

Bucky looks at the elevator with intensity, trying to take in all the technicalities. When it dings to signal we're on the right floor, he takes his time leaving.

I lead him to the kitchen where we finally figure out what to eat, deciding on simple sandwiches.

Bucky pulls a knife from the drawer, pulling the plate closer so he can cut it.

I let out a small laugh.

He's very picky about his sandwiches.

Bucky's eyes turn to me, confused. " What? "

I shake my head. " Nothing. I just didn't know the sandwich thing stemmed back from when you were younger. "

" Sandwich thing? " He asks, still confused.

" Yeah. " I nod, taking a bite from my own sandwich. " You cut off the crust and slice it into triangles. "

Bucky lets out a small smile. " Uh, yeah. My mom used to cut it for me that way. I guess I never really stopped, huh? "

I don't respond, continuing to eat my sandwich.

" If we're friends, why do you always ignore me? " Bucky's voice breaks through the silence.

" Oh. " I didn't think he noticed. " I've just been busy I guess. "

Bucky nods, not quite believing me. " Yeah...okay. " He doesn't push it.

He asks another question a few minutes later. " Can you tell me about us? "

I freeze. " What? "

" About our friendship. "

I feel my body begin to untense. " Oh, yeah. What do you want to know? " I avoid his gaze.

Bucky turns to face me. " I'm not sure...How did we meet. I mean, you know how I eat my sandwiches, so I'm assuming we were close? " He takes a bite of his food.

I nod. " Yeah, I guess you could say that. " I set my plate in the dish washer. " Well, " I begin. " We met the day Steve found you. He brought you back here. I was the one who helped you get everything you needed to live here comfortable. I don't know, I guess we started hanging out? " And making out. " And yeah...that's really it. " Fucking lie. We spent months going out before we finally decided to make it official.

" Really? So you helped me. "

I nod again. " Yeah. I made sure you felt comfortable here. I mean, you came from such a bad environment...I don't think you knew what an actual bed felt like. You insisted on sleeping on floor no matter how many times I tried to get you to try the bed. It took months of convincing before you finally tried it. " I let out a laugh at the memory.

Bucky is silent.

" I'm sorry. "

My head turns towards him. " What? For what? " I ask.

" For not remembering you. I'm sure this is annoying, having to teach me everything again. You already did it once. It must be hard not having the same Bucky around. " He admits.

" Hey, It's not your fault. " I gently place a hand on his arm. " I don't mind, seriously. You're still the same you...just with less memories. "

Bucky doesn't respond.

I try to change the direction of the conversation, failing miserably. Tension sits heavily in the room.

" Why don't I go show you how to play on an X Box? "

[yuriririnnie]

To Hug a Porcupine

A/N: I remember getting so much hate and having to go through so many conversations about how much of a walking red flag I am literally with everyone I know and love. I know a lot of us can relate, and we get along so well with those who tolerate us so much, it’s so unhealthy. Let this story be a homage to those who have been so patient with us, and love us so dearly despite it being so difficult. The metaphor is just so beautiful and I can’t help but reflect!

PAIRING | Sim Jaeyun (Jake) x reader

WC | 3.2k (again, wth Alice?)

GENRE | angst, fluff, everything’s sfw y’all is it even me if it’s not?

WARNINGS | explicit language (pardon my French, I can’t help it) mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, attachment issues, and all that teen angst

SYNOPSIS | You’re hard to love. That’s it. That’s the plot. 

—

“That’s it?” he breathed, “two years worth of my life and you’re going to throw it all away because “you can’t take it anymore”?”

Looking around the field you finally pluck up the courage to nod. 

“Yes.”

It was about 10 more seconds before he picked up his backpack and left you sitting on the bleachers by yourself. It was the first break up of your life and you thought it would be more eventful, tearful, and painful, but the reality was that it was pretty straightforward and simple. Maybe it was the build up you’ve been feeling for a while, or maybe this wasn’t the kind of love you thought would have you begging on your knees. He was your first boyfriend and you thought that this break up would feel a lot more meaningful than this. 

You stay there alone for a while.

“So how did it go?” you finally feel the presence and warmth of a human being. “Did he cry? Oh my god please don’t tell me he cried.”

“No, Jake he did not cry.”

You moved from where you sat making room for him and his huge gym bag. Judging from his wet hair and pink cheeks, he probably just got out of football practice and just couldn’t wait to hear the news from you. 

“Man, I wish I could have made it on time before he left. The guy could have used some comforting.” 

You snorted, “You didn’t even like him that much.”

“Because he was totally jealous of me! He even asked you to avoid me at one point. He didn’t deserve you.”

“I actually think that it was me who didn’t really deserve him,” you countered albeit reluctantly, “Jay was a good guy.”

Jake could only nod slowly.

“And besides, it was me who woke up one day and realized I just didn’t like him anymore.” 

You sighed, getting lost in your thoughts trying to dig deep into your feelings to get an answer as to why you did not feel an ounce of regret or longing for any comforting yourself. It wasn’t every day you get to break up with your first boyfriend after all. 

Jake knew exactly why though. He’s been your best friend since childhood and witnessed you grow into the woman that you are now. The extrinsic changes were present and evident, but he knew who you were deep inside so everything you ever did or every decision you’ve ever made was still somewhat predictable to him. He will never tell you that, but you were hard to love, not because you were a bad person or because you treated others like shit. But because you were so fiercely loyal, strongly assertive, and undeniably rational. You wore your emotions up your sleeve but never put up with other people’s shit. This was especially because you had the patience of a driver stuck in rush hour traffic, and had absolutely no tolerance whatsoever. 

You were a walking red flag and even you knew it. And for some “unknown” pathetic reason, Jake tolerates you anyway. 

The very reasons why you were hard to love are the same reasons why it’s easy to fall head over heels for you.   

You looked at him, and he looked at you. You both smiled when he said, “Let’s get outta here.” 

—

You were now in college and you’d think that the break ups would get harder over time because you learn to understand and feel for others even more. They do still get a little difficult, especially with how invested people become when they fall in love. However, as you grew, things got a lot more complicated and the more that you’ve been pouring your feelings onto someone else, the thinner your patience got as time passed and it became easier, a lot less regretful for you to leave someone behind. 

“Heeseung told me you broke up with him.” Jake sat next to you on the couch as you mindlessly flipped through the Netflix shows you and him saved to watch together over the summer. 

You shrugged, still tapping on the remote. 

“Yeah, it was only a few months in, I didn’t think it was a big deal and— hey!!” 

He snatched the remote away and you were forced to face him. He looked at you with piercing eyes. Like, he had been angry with you before but you always hated having to confront him with these things. 

“Y/N, seriously. Tell me what happened.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and finally caving in only because you thought that he would never let it go, and you wanted to watch your movie. 

“Things got too serious too fast. You know how easily overwhelmed I get.”

“What did he do to overwhelm you?”

“He told me that he loved me.”

You both paused. Jake witnessed the many boys that went after you but none of them had ever dropped the L-word knowing the kind of girl that you are. This was foreign territory for him too, but now that he knows what your reaction would be when someone tells you that for the first time, he suddenly felt the need to be more cautious, to be more careful of the things he might end up saying. 

“Oh.” he finally spoke. 

“I told you it was overwhelming.” you muttered, stealing back the remote from him. 

That night, he didn’t feel the need to pry even more. It was enough for him to know how sensitive you were about being told that you were loved. Nonetheless, he felt a small ache in his heart knowing that someone beat him to it. 

—

It was the night after graduation and instead of rejoicing over the milestone and celebrating with your friends and family, you were crying on the rooftop, burying your face into your arms as you wept. It was the first time you ever cried over a boy this hard, and you didn’t think it would hurt this bad. 

You heard footsteps nearby and a familiar warmth surrounded you. Jake cradled you in his arms and rubbed your sides as you continued to hide your face from the cold night air. 

“He said I was controlling and that I had too much of a chokehold on him,” you broke down, “he said that he felt like he was losing himself through the course of our relationship and that he allowed me to make all the decisions for us way too much.”

“There, there. It’s not your fault.” he whispered, “you did your best to love him in a way that you thought he wanted to be loved.”

“No, Jake, just no!” you lifted your head up and Jake swore that he heard his heart crack at the sight of your tears. “I loved him in my own way. I loved him because that’s how I wanted to love! It wasn’t how he wanted to be loved!” 

Jake felt the urge to just get up and punch Beomgyu, the boy who made you cry, in the face and make him regret that he ever broke your heart. However, he didn’t find it in him to argue, so he pulled your head onto his chest and let you cry and cry. This time, he finally witnessed you fall hard and actually admit it, and it awoke something in him. He was always on the fence about how he felt because you were best friends, but this time it’s decided. 

Sadly, he knew you weren’t in the right headspace. He knew he wasn’t ready. He will tell you when he’s ready. 

—

“You ghosted him?!” Jake put his beer down firm and loud, it made your dog jump in surprise. Poor Cookie.

“He was getting clingy, and you know that that can’t be for someone who’s struggling to obtain a law degree. School’s demanding, you know that.” 

You took a sip of your own beer nonchalantly.

So this was boy number four for you. Soobin. 

Okay, maybe number five because you couldn’t stand the guy you hooked up with twice a year back. Yeonjun was great, but he was also a law student and all you ever talked about after sex were your professors, subjects, and just law school in general. It was like sleeping with a coworker and you didn’t want that. 

“Soooo… you don’t like nice guys, you don’t like guys who say I love you too quickly, you don’t like it when they don’t allow you take control, but hate it when you have too much control.” he took a deep breath and continued, “you don’t like clingy, but you don’t like distant either.”

God he sounded like one of your classmates reciting important provisions, it almost gave you a headache. 

“I can’t help but be myself.” 

“You’re so hard to love.” he groaned.

Letting out a squeaky laugh you sang, “You love me anywaaaaayyy~!” and moved closer to him.

Jake choked on his beer and looked at you with panicked eyes. He knew that you were just playing and didn’t mean it in a way that’s past the boundary of being friendly. Well in your case, best-friendly. Still it made his heart skip a beat. 

You lift your feet up to fold your knees and made yourself comfortable on the couch next to him. It was always weird that you never felt any tension between you and Jake despite being so close to each other. You had nearly maximum skinship and spent more than half of your lives together and yet the relationship between you two was always tiptoeing the lines between romantic and just friends. It was the perfect trope, however, you knew Jake so well and loved him despite his lack of bitches and possession of so much negative rizz. 

He was so undeniably attractive yet never opened up to you about any girl. You always thought that maybe he was just picky but as the years passed you couldn’t help but wonder if he’s being too invested in you or is spending way too much time on you. Just the thought of those things being the reasons why he might not be getting any girlfriends made you cringe.

“It feels like hugging a porcupine.” he suddenly felt so confident in lecturing you.

“Hmm?”

“Like hugging a porcupine. You know, loving someone that’s difficult to love.” 

“That metaphor is so adorable, I almost feel like I am not offended.” your smile was there, but faltered when you suddenly felt the seriousness of the conversation. You don’t remember how much you two drank at this point of the night but you’re sure it has already been 6 beers in each and 6-beer Jake was truthful Jake and you’re not sure if you’re ready for it. 

You cleared your throat to ease some of the tension and scooted to the right to create some distance between you two, small enough to not be awkward, but distant enough to create a proper boundary. 

“What about you?” you finally said, “You were always at the front-row to witness my failed relationships but I have never heard you talk about your love life like literally ever.”

“You never asked.” he said.

“Never felt like I needed to ask.”

“Well I’m telling you now that you need to ask for me to answer.”

You felt a surprise chill at the change of atmosphere. If he liked someone he would have talked about her long ago, or could have at least mentioned her. You felt slightly disappointed in the newfound knowledge that he might really have had a girlfriend or liked someone before and you didn’t know why. It was unfair of him to keep that from you, but you also felt selfish in a way because you made everything seem like it was about you all these years. 

“I like someone Y/N, duh. I’m still a guy after all.” he chuckled. 

You sighed, not sure if it was out of relief or worry. “So are you gonna tell me or nah?”

He pretended to think for a while. “You’ll know.”

“Oh come on!!” you whined, “is she someone I know?!” 

“I said you’ll know her soon!” he continued to tease, “I’m actually making it blatantly obvious.”

“Fine. Though even if you don’t tell me, you know I’ll find out one way or another.”

“I hope it doesn’t drive you crazy.”

“Please. You can’t make me what I already am.” 

He laughed out loud and rubbed the top of your head. “Right. A crazy little porcupine.”

You deadpanned him and stuck your tongue out but snuggled back to him anyway, finally watching whatever movie it was that was playing in the background. 

—

The restaurant was quiet when you arrived. No one was around except for the waiter that greeted you as you walked in. You take in the ambiance with all senses, ears were surrounded by faint jazz music, everything was painted emerald and gold, roses carefully placed at the center of each table. The smell was a mixture of fresh mint and musk. Adding to it were the sounds of kitchenware clanging and chefs bickering in the background. It made you feel a little small considering you were kind of underdressed for the occasion. 

Jake told you to wear something decent and you did. You just didn’t think that decent meant extra formal. It was a little embarrassing and you make a small reminder inside your head to kill him later. 

You finally sat down on a table by the window feeling really nervous about meeting the girl Jake has been dying to introduce to you for the first time. He was extra giddy about her lately you weren’t sure how you felt about him being all worked up about some girl all of a sudden. Also, you wondered where has she been all this time. There was no build-up regarding her existence whatsoever so the whole idea of her made you skeptic. 

This whole thing reminded you of you guys’ childhood when one of your friends confided you saying that she liked Jake. It was just a small middle school crush and was meant to be a secret but it sent such a bad taste on your tongue. Granted that you were a kid back then, but thinking about it now, you knew that you still would have felt the same bad mood knowing someone else was making Jake the object of their affection. You were occupied with falling in love with other people and drowned in the flattery others were giving you, but never too distracted from the feeling of anger when you knew someone was crushing on your best friend.

It’s so funny how much you guys have been through together and how much you’ve grown. You know that a lot has changed for you and him but the dynamic of your relationship was your only constant. The idea of it changing because of this girl caused an emotional whiplash quicker than you ever imagined—and you haven’t even met her yet!

This another reason why you were so difficult. You were greedy and never swallowed your pride.

Fast forward to today. Here you are contemplating on your life decisions that involved Jake at the very last minutes of your chances of ever actually getting to be with him. How pathetic could you get picturing yourself watching him fall in love with someone else? 

The wait felt like hours and you checked your phone about 10 times within the last 12 minutes. He said he was going to be late because he was picking her up but the suspense was killing you.

You heard a bell ring from the entrance indicating that someone’s finally here. You looked up from your phone and spotted a familiar four-legged cutie walk up to you. 

“Layla?” you gaped, running towards her as she wagged her tail at the sight of you. “Oh my gosh, look at how big you’ve gotten!”

It has been ages since you saw Jake’s dog. She grew up alongside with you guys but you haven’t seen her since college and whatever Jake was up to right now made you forgive him for making you go through whatever this was. A million good girls, hugs, and slobbers later, your cute aggression subsided as you noticed something dangling from her collar. It was a locket with a picture of you and Jake back when you were kids on your first play date. You couldn’t remember taking that photo but you do remember not liking him at first. He was hugging you while you made a face. 

Were you gonna cry right now? Oh my god you are literally going to cry right now.

You stood up as the dog ran back towards the door and that’s where you saw Jake in his black turtle neck shirt, hair falling down to his eyes, just enough to cover his eyebrows, perfectly bordering his perfectly sculpted face. You always knew he was handsome but had you always known he was this handsome? He crouched down to ruffle Layla’s head of fur before walking to where you were. 

You were completely, utterly dumbfounded. What the hell was going on? Was he pranking you? If he was pranking you right now you would dump him so fucking hard both as a lover and as a best friend.

“Hi.” he smiled as if he didn’t just drop the biggest love bomb on you.

“You said you were going to be late because you were picking her up.” your voice was stern, still pretending to be your iron self even if deep inside your guts were doing somersaults. 

“Well, picking Layla up from home is a bit hard. She isn’t as light as she used to be.”

You both laughed.

You hear him take a deep breath and whispered, "I love you, Y/N."

Wasting not a second further you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him the tightest you have ever held him your entire life. You felt his hands grip your waist as he kept you guys in place. You hugged him so tight it nearly knocked the both of you down. He giggled and finally settled with rubbing your back, taking in the sounds of your beating hearts. Nothing compared to how close you were at this very moment, and you two have had your fair share of moments of zero-personal space. It wasn’t like when you sat close the day at the bleachers with his arm around you, not when you cried on his shoulder at the rooftop during graduation night, and not even like the drunken nights where you fell asleep on his chest. Nothing compared to how close you were right now.

“Did you see our photo?” he broke the silence, “I told you it was hard, but even as a kid I always knew how to hug a porcupine.”

“You’re insufferable.”

And with that, you shared your first kiss with your one true love, your soulmate, your best friend. And all it took was a leap of faith and the courage to love who was difficult to love.

[aichi-division]

Eiji's Memoirs

Narrated by Eiji Mizoguchi

The truth is that this memoir thing is something that is very strange to me, but at Shōta-san insistence, I'll do my best to tell you some things about myself.

I lived most of my life in L.A. I grew up in the subs. I learned to live in a system that, despite constantly discriminating against POC, we were armed with music and rap, especially. Lamar, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr Dre... I grew up with them. I had a group of homies with whom we survived and hung out on the streets... good times.

Until I had to move to Japan.

I never had any interest in leaving L.A in a first place; but I also understood that the decision was because of the work of my father, Haruto Mizoguchi. He is a researcher and professor of sciencie. Without my sis, we moved to Japan with anything but a lot of dreams.

But the change was very hard, especially in the first few months.

When my classmates realized that I was, as they call me, a hafu freak, they simply wouldn't leave me alone never again. Since then, I really HATED Japan, its culture and everything related to it very much. I had hope that living from zero in an unknown country would -somehow- help me to out of the shadows of my big sis, but it was the opposite.

Yeah, I was very naive. But okay, you have to assume that from now on, the context boils down to the following: a japanese afroamerican being literally bullied by his peers, single handedly. I really don't want to elaborate too much on this, I mean, I think it might be uncomfortable for anyone reading this. But it wasn't all so terrible, well... at that time I didn't realize it, but as soon as I stepped foot in that school, I caught the attention of a very… special dude.

Issey really was like a light in that hole. Well, the truth is that it came like a thunderbolt, thunderous and painful. He was a popular guy, literally, very popular. But not one of those arrogant popular ones, but on the contrary, he was a very sweet, friendly and even annoying person at times. For me he was very annoying, mostly because he was OBSESSED with trying to get to know me and get some small talk topic out of me about the USA and I don't know what else bullshit.

You have to understand that at that time, I didn't trust absolutely no one and, well, trusting a talkative and colorful Japanese guy just didn't make sense to me. I tried to ignore him many times and other times I simply told him to go fuck himself. But he never stopped.

Nah, he never stopped.

It took him a whole afternoon to catch me and almost kidnap me to try to be my friend.

The moment he held me in his arms, smiling like a maniacal psychopath, I knew that maybe my life in Japan wouldn't be so miserable and that this guy really was a… nice guy. Never in my life has someone been so interested in me, so genuinely. I think it was inevitable that I would be attracted to him…. I mean, in a friendly way, of course.

Out of courtesy, I accepted his invitation to be his friend and later his division partner. Actually, participating in D.B.R. came as a genuine surprise to me. I never saw myself competing in an area that has historically been my big sister's territory. Rapping, composing… it was something that was in my blood. And curiously Issey was able to detect it in me.

I really hope that idiot isn't reading this, because he'd be bugging me for the rest of the week. But the truth is, I'm very grateful to be his friend. I don't know what I would be without that jerk.

Well, anyway, I ended up in the Aichi division, along with Shouta-san, our designated leader from Issey. The truth… is that I didn't have much confidence in Shouta's ability to rap or… well, to do whatever. When we met him, he was really high. VERY high. I always felt a little sorry for him and I really regret treating him badly in the beginning.

Our leader is a rather self-conscious man but with a resilience that you don't often see and I admire that about him. Despite his addictions and his actions that lead him to self-sabotage, he always tried to teach us to follow our dreams and does his best to accompany us in that. He literally does more than my own parents, no joke.

I don't like it when other people try to take advantage of him, sometimes he can be a very good person or, on the contrary, be very vulnerable.

Shouta-san, if you read this, please take care of yourself. The division would not be the same without you. Issey admires you, even if he doesn't say so openly. I believe that deep down, he is afraid to put more weight on your shoulders. You're a good guy.

I really don't know how to end this, but I really just want to say that I am very grateful for what I have now and I really hope we can win the D.B.R., not for the money, but for others to take us seriously, you know what I mean? I know there are several competitors that maybe see us in less, you know, because we are common, ordinary and losers. Well maybe Issey is the exception… but the truth is, we shouldn't be underestimated.

Who knows, at some point we might surprise them and eliminate them from the competition.

[auntieoneandauntietwo]

*rubs hands together* okkkkk, time to over analyze lessa and gemma’s deathbed conversation

As gemma is dying, lessa hurts her (squeezes her hand really hard) cause she’s angry that gemma intentionally interrupted fax and f’lar when they were about to duel. She then tells gemma her whole villainous plot, and gemma, confused, reveals that she was defending f’lar, not fax. Then she dies and women don’t have a conversation for like a hundred more pages.

What’s crazy and pivotal about this scene is that lessa has been hellbent on revenge since she was eleven and basically hasn’t spoken to a soul in a decade and now suddenly there’s someone on her side! She’s not alone in her hatred or her goals! And not only does gemma hate fax, she agrees that there’s something really weird happening with that red star that’s been showing up lately. So this is a moment of genuine human connection and support for someone to whom those concepts are completely alien.

And now lessa the stone cold revenge demon is feeling REMORSE, because she just caused a woman on her deathbed more pain. She even acknowledges that gemma “had suffered far more subjective brutalities and indignities” than she herself had. It’s a serious awakening of humanity for our motivated hero.

THEN she goes “she had no time for regret or contrition” and immediately resolves to at the very least spin gemma’s death in a way that will avenge her.

I feel like this whole interaction actually sets up a lot of lessa’s ongoing character struggles (or maybe I’m reading into things but bear with me) where she makes decisions that she knows risk herself or ramoth or other people (her famous backwards jump, manipulating fnor to go to the red star, is she the one who sends Jaxom back to get the queen egg from southern?) and then she does them anyway. In this scene with gemma, she discovers some of her humanity and also discovers she can operate despite it.

This is also another example of some of the most pivotal scenes in these books being interactions between two women that are weirdly subtle and unnoticeable. Am I grasping for straws in books that barely pass the bechdel test? Absolutely. Do I think I’m right anyways? Kinda, yeah.

[searchingforatrail]

What do you feel about one-sided Optiratch? I'll confess it's my favourite way to ship it in TFP. Especially if Optimus knows Ratchet is in love with him, but unfortunately, his spark is set on the mech trying to kill them all.

I LOVE it, especially since Ratchet has been there the entire time, and has done everything he can to care for Optimus by not making Optimus's life a living hell lol. He's also stood beside him when he's had absolutely nothing, and with the exception of bad drug trip, has been his #1 supporter.

It's also painful because Ratchet knows Optimus deserves better, and Optimus won't go for it. Worst is that Optimus is well aware of how Ratchet feels, and does what he can to minimize just how much he's expressive about his thoughts and feelings towards Megatron. He finds himself being very short and to the point when discussing Megatron, doing what he can not to elaborate around Ratchet or talk about the times they spent together. He knows Ratchet scrutinizes every interaction he has with Megatron, especially those that involve him nearly killing those they care about.

He wishes that he loved Ratchet, but it's as if Megatron has taken control of his spark no matter how hard he tries to break free of him. He just can't get over him, and unfortunately this hurts Ratchet. They talk about it, and they cry about it, because Ratchet is incredibly dear to Optimus and the fact that he can't return his feelings hurts them both.

And it doesn't help that it seems as if Optimus is choosing a Warlord over Ratchet. Optimus feels dumb, and knows he'll regret his poor decision making.

When he's able to, though, Optimus assures that Ratchet is cared for and tries to set him up with people. He'll never abandon Ratchet and keeps him close (because hey, maybe he loves him just a tiny bit, and Ratchet is the one selfish thing he wants to have in his life. So he'd like to have control of who ratchet gets with and where he lives, if he can).

I ship it both ways, where Optimus is the one who has feelings for Ratchet, but Ratchet never returns them because he blames Optimus for the war, or his lack of action. While he wants to see past what Optimus did, it's difficult, and it impacts every aspect of their relationship.

He thinks Optimus's inability to hold Megatron accountable doomed them all, and even when they are in peace time, it's very difficult for him to forgive him and move past it.

The only time they really breach the subject and begin to move in the right direction is when Raf is nearly killed by Megatron. Ratchet helps Optimus get over the fact that the love of his life is absolutely evil, and that Megatronus no longer exist. It is the most painful experience Optimus has to go through, and there are tears, but eventually through Ratchet supporting Optimus and being non-judgmental of his feelings, they begin to get together, albeit slow.

I am just obsessed with the image of a crying Optimus being tenderly kissed by Ratchet, and Optimus realizing that the real love of his life was infront of him the whole time.

[mageofseven]

I’m sure you’re sick of these types of requests atp, but after learning you’re also a poly dialuci fan I can’t not request a surprise birth story for them together/combined 😭🙌

Omg I swear y'all either have the worst case of baby fever or just love baby drama 😂

But no worries! Honestly, these are one of my favorite posts to write because I too love this kind of drama hehe~

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Okay, these two men had zero clue MC could be pregnant.

This triad more or less was in agreement that babies were not something they needed at this time.

I mean, the triad only just hit their 1st year anniversary

Which, coincidentally enough, was the night MC conceived.

Neither of the three knew this because they always used protection with MC, almost to a religious degree.

All it took was one overzealous redhead on script duty with bad handwriting to mess it all up though 😅

Reminder that they use runes on MC as a form of birth control and the men take turns on being the scripter

The first time they could have discovered the pregnancy was when her morning sickness hit her hard.

Problem? It also hit her around the time MC accidentally ate some demon food that wasn't human safe 😅

It was a food MC had never seen before and since she has been in the Devildom for so long and was so used to eating weird food, it had never accord to her to be cautious.

Oh boy was Lucifer upset.

He chastised his girlfriend, but was still the one to hold her hair back as she puked.

Dia just laughed it off, somewhat anxious.

I mean, the food she ate wasn't going to harm her, but it commonly made humans have intense nausea and make them puke for weeks as their body tried to rid itself of the foreign toxin.

Lucifer wanted her to see to a see a doctor, but MC refused.

She loved her boyfriends, but they were so protective that it was exhausting; Lucifer especially so since his protectiveness was also paired with his stubbornness.

Some days it felt like Lucifer would make her see a doctor for a freaking paper cut if she'd let him.

Though also worried about his Queen, the redhead accepted her decision and persuaded Lucifer to do the same.

However, he did remind her that she could change her mind at any time.

She didn't though and honestly, MC will regret that decision every time she thinks back on it.

With the end of her nausea came cravings and a big appetite. The three just assumed that after weeks of not being able to eat much that her body was catching up for lost time.

As her belly grew, MC grew more and more self conscious as well.

She had less 'intimate time' with her boyfriends and would hide her belly under baggy shirts.

Honestly, the woman started getting really depressed about her rapidly changing figure.

The two men were worried about the weight gain too, but only because it upset their girlfriend so greatly.

This was a period of a comforting for this triad. The two men put aside work more and more to comfort their depressed human.

The two men showered her in gifts, took her on more dates outside the house since she became more homebound during this period, and spent so much time trying to cuddle the sadness out of her.

This went on for months till finally, it all came to a conclusion.

MC was having really bad cramps one day. Both men had a meeting they needed to attend, but the pride demon's intuition was raising red flags.

Despite the woman's protests, Lucifer was able to convince their boyfriend to stay home and the two stayed by her side.

Like always, Lucifer wanted to call a doctor immediately. Also like always, MC outright refused...for awhile at least.

Eventually, the pain got so severe that she was gripping one or both men, begging through tears for a doctor, which her boyfriends quickly obliged.

That's when they learned that not only was MC pregnant, but she was actively in labor.

The panic and shock was obvious from Lucifer; I mean, how did this happen?? It made absolutely no sense to this man considering how careful they have been.

Dia, on the other hand, was ecstatic.

I mean yes, the three of them had originally agreed that babies weren't on the agenda for the time being, but the prince mostly just agreed because both of his partners weren't ready for parenthood and he himself was okay with waiting.

The two men got into a small squabble over the prince's reaction, but was interrupted by their girlfriend's scream of pain.

To Lucifer's dismay, Dia sent the doctor away as per MC's request. She didn't want some stranger in the room while she was naked and in the worst pain of her life.

As a compromise though, the doctor was kept on standby else where in case the human needed him.

Each man planted themselves on different sides of MC and held her hands.

Both men gave MC encouragement and comfort, but Dia excelled at it. He was constantly whispering in her ear, peppering well-appreciated kisses on her face, and rubbing her taut belly.

Lucifer did the same, but given that he was the more anxious one, was constantly checking her progress and making sure she was keeping hydrated because obviously hours of screaming and pain can make any person easily dehydrated.

Day turned to night by the time the baby was born; the triad had never been more relieved to hear cries echo through a room before.

However...there was something a bit off about this baby.

When Lucifer brought their new daughter into MC's arms, the human noticed a strange mixture features.

This baby had Diavolo's skin tone, down the same golden markings on her arms as are found on the prince when in his demon form. However, she also had Lucifer's black hair. Her eyes matched her mother's and she had two little golden nubs on her head that will grow into horns in the future.

How...how did this child look like both her boyfriends? Even Lucifer was perplexed.

Luckily, Diavolo had the answer to this.

Some demons experience what is referred to a chimera conception; basically, if a demon has multiple partners within the window of time for conception, the baby can take genetics from more than one father.

In truth, the prince never thought it could occur in a human till now.

Still, the man was excited! His Queen just had a baby. He was a dad now--

Lucifer pulled his boyfriend out into the hallway, telling him that he needs to cool it down.

The pride demon didn't like bringing the mood down for the happy man, but it really needed to be said.

He reminded the prince that before this baby was essentially forced on MC by the universe, she didn't actually want a child; not yet anyway.

Neither man knew quite yet what their girlfriend wanted to do with this baby, whether she wanted to raise it or send it away.

To get excited now was premature and could unintentionally guilt the human into keeping a child she might not want.

This talk deflated the prince and his boyfriend hated that he had to do it.

The pride demon tugged his boyfriend into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I know this is difficult, but we need to keep MC in mind; she's already been through a lot as it is."

Dia nuzzled his face into the other demon neck.

"No, you're right. I...I just got carried away." He pulled back to meet Luce's eyes. "I'll keep myself under control."

"I know you want to be a father. Maybe you will be able to be one; maybe we will with this child. If MC can't handle this now though, we could always have another when she is ready."

Dia leaned in and kissed his boyfriend.

"I know...thank you, my Light."

The two men returned to the room, opening the door just to find MC crying as she stared down at her daughter.

The two men picked up the pace and joined the human at her bedside.

Dia knelt down next to her and wiped a tear from her face with his thumb.

"Don't hate me..." She said softly.

His eyes widen.

"What do you mean, my Queen?"

The woman shook her head and looked away from the prince.

Lucifer sat next to her on the bed and kissed her head.

"Love...just talk to us." He cajoled. "It will be alright, I assure you."

"I-I just...I don't know what to do; I'm so scared."

"Oh my Queen..." Dia joined his partners on the bed and pulled MC in to a hug, careful of the child resting within her arms. "It's okay; it's okay to be scared."

"But what if I can't handle it? What if I don't want..."

Her gaze fell to her daughter and the guilt choked her.

Dia's heart cracked. Lucifer was right.

He leaned into kiss her head.

"If you do not want this child...I will find a safe home for them."

MC's eyes widened as she turned to him.

"But...but you want her...I know you want to be a dad."

Dia lowered his head.

"I love our child...but I love you more." He insisted. "Will not pressure you to keep a child you aren't ready for; especially after the trauma you just went through."

MC shook her head, thick tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I don't know what I want...I'm so confused."

"It's fine; you can be confused." Lucifer told her. "You don't need to decide now."

In accidental unison, both men leaned in and each kissed a side of her head.

Diavolo nodded.

"That's right." He agreed. "Just know we are here for you and will continue to love you no matter your choice."

It took a few days for MC to recover from it all. Originally, her emotions were running hard after the birth and it made an already overwhelming situations worse for her.

As she recovered from it all, the woman started to get so very attached to her daughter.

Before she even told her boyfriends that she wanted to keep her, the men could just sense it from how she looked at her.

The three decided to name their daughter Eris.

[slowd1ving]

III: MISERY LOVES COMPANY・゜MIGUEL O'HARA

"And him. The scarlet and navy glimmer of scales was always probing at the edge of your conscious thoughts, demanding to be let in. You leaned your elbows on the railings to get more comfortable. Ever since you’d helped Miguel out with those mythical creature hunters, he plagued your thoughts like an incessant gnat. " No one ever tells you just how lonely the swashbuckling life is. Can you be blamed when you begin to long to see your new friend? When your morally ambiguous buddy makes a comeback, you can't just spoil the fun and foil his goals. Merfolk AU + Pirate GN! Reader warnings: death, violence, blood, hurt/comfort

THE TIME YOU MADE FRIENDS WITH A MERMAN AND WERE FORCED TO JOIN IN TRICKERY AND SCHEMING MASTERLIST

MISC. MASTERLIST ゜・MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

PREVIOUS PART ・゜NEXT PART

  Unfortunately for Miguel, the first day of your free time was not spent shadowing you, as he’d wrongfully assumed. Instead, you took it upon yourself to teach him how to walk and move in a gait that’d suit whatever situation he was in. And , you’d finally found some cheap boots and extra clothes for him to wear; he looked like an average dock-hand now. 

“You need to relax,” you murmured. One of your hands was currently placed to stabilise his shoulders; the other was splayed between his scapulae to maintain his posture. “One leg, in front of the other. You’re doing great.”

And he was; the muscles in his legs matched the rest of his body, so strength really wasn’t an issue. Another hour or so and his balance would probably improve drastically.  

You could feel the warmth of his body soaking through the worn linen of his shirt. Every shift of muscle, every bend of his spine, every tension in his torso: it was all documented by your palms. The beach was utterly devoid of any other souls. Deep down, you could feel your heart rate shift higher by an extra beat. 

You let go.

The fluttering warmth beneath your hands was lost to the cool winds streaming across the beach. Before you, Miguel was walking slowly, but steadily. He’d got it in no time. 

“Wait,” you blurted out. Would you regret this? In the future, would you wish you’d kept your mouth shut? There was no way to know. 

Don’t make the wrong decision . 

He paused, rocking back and forth on the sand. You considered your next words as you moved to stand in front of him. 

“Your duties -” you paused to watch his reaction: a minute shifting of his jaw. “-do they involve fighting?”

You might’ve missed the sudden coldness in his eyes if you weren’t looking for it. His expression was utterly calculating; it was like he was gauging just how much of a threat you were to whatever plans he was putting into motion. Instinctively, you knew your earlier speculations were the unbridled truth. 

“Why do you ask?” he looked at you coolly; however, a slight shift in his brow betrayed his wariness. 

“Listen, I’m not going to get in the way of your duties ,” you put emphasis on that word. Your gaze was completely level; though, it was hard not to be intimidated by him absolutely looming over you. “I’m asking because fighting with legs will be completely different than fighting with a tail.”

Surely, that would be enough to convince him that you weren’t ill intentioned? He regarded you for two heartbeats before the lines that marred his brow smoothed out. Success . 

“I’ve relied mostly on my venomous fangs and claws when I fight in the water,” he frowned, but this time it was more questioning than anything. 

“Right,” you let him come to the slow, painful realisation that humans also had weapons at their disposal. “While those fangs will give you the edge of surprise, they’re only good at a short range.” 

You tapped the holster at your hip meaningfully, enough that a knowing glint emerged in his eye. The unspoken warning was clear: adapt. If he truly strove to ensure his home was protected, he’d have to have an edge on those he planned to dispose of. 

Adapt . 

“How widely available are those ?” he eyed your flintlock appreciatively. 

“Every town has a weapon shop,” you answered. Was this a mistake? Were you making a grave error? Maybe. But he’d find someone just as unsavoury to teach him; gods knew there were plenty of people willing to unleash strife into the world. 

“We’ll go tomorrow,” he decided. His eyes met yours challengingly: will you dispute this ? The turbulent crimson practically drowned you in its intensity.

Adapt . 

“Fine,” you acquiesced. Deep within your gut, that incessant burbling of loneliness within finally fell silent. For better or for worse, you had company.   

The second day rolled round quickly, bringing with it sore muscles and a tired spine. 

You’d spent last afternoon walking him through (figuratively and literally) some stances and moves he could use and adapt to suit any situation. Some kicks, some throws, some holds - by the time the sun kissed the horizon, you felt slightly squished from being thrown about by someone who was built like an ox. Still, you weren’t going to half-ass your role of Sage and Benevolent Mentor. 

He improved remarkably; before long, you were the one being pinned down by a sheer wall of muscle. Was it weird that his touch lingered on your body long after he let go? The weight of someone else’s body on yours felt much too comforting to be the norm. 

Now, in the dew-scented mist of the morning, he was about to enter the narrow alleyway that led to the bustling port-town streets. Together. You eyed his loping gait approvingly; the casual bravado trapped in each step matched the brash confidence of a lot of dock-hands in town. He’d fit right in. 

“You ready?” you queried. The early morning would bring with it less people, but there’d likely still be a crowd for the market. Miguel cast a contemplative look over at you, as if he was surprised by your consideration (as if you weren’t the Pinnacle of Good Manners and Conduct). 

“Yeah,” he affirmed quickly, to which you linked your arm with his and moved more briskly out of the alley. You didn’t want to linger in the unpleasant, fishy aroma any longer than you had to. Maybe you should’ve told him; beneath your arm, the muscles of his forearm were tensed in surprise at your sudden amicability. 

“Sorry,” you muttered, none too apologetically (if you were being honest, the contact was like a balm to your lonely soul). “You’ll look more suspicious if you’re hovering behind me.”

Was it a poor excuse? Yeah. Both of you knew it. Miguel didn’t seem to mind, though; he relaxed into the touch and slowed his steps so you could comfortably walk beside him. Besides, the closer proximity would allow you to discreetly coach him on successfully interacting with others. 

“Keep an eye out for when I’m making transactions,” you whispered, tugging on his arm slightly. If he was easily swindled, then he’d stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd of locals. Although, you’d be surprised if anyone would actually try anything - not when he towered over everyone like that. 

“In most towns, townsfolk name coin based on metal. Coppers are worth the least, golds the most. Anyone who tries selling you steak pie for silver or gold is a cheap, thieving bastard,” you continued. 

“I know most of the basics,” he assured you quietly. “Lyla’s briefed me.”

Right. As if that wasn’t a disaster waiting to implode in his face.

You suddenly had another nasty realisation. 

 “I hope you’ve got Weapons Money,” you said pointedly. Good quality flintlocks and daggers, even if they were second-hand, weren’t cheap. You doubted that he’d have use for a dagger, but with a pistol and sword he’d be lethal . 

He waved his hand dismissively. “Some of my colleagues sold some treasure from shipwrecks and made a small fortune. I’ve got the funds.”

And you spent money on him? 

“Right,” you exhaled. As if he had picked up on your annoyance, he looked down at you apologetically.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he promised. “Don’t think that your efforts to help us will go unnoticed.”

The sheer sincerity and conviction within his low voice almost caused you to pause in surprise. Damn . Why’d that sound more like a threat than anything?

The traipse to the weapons shop was a lot shorter than you originally expected. Was it because you were being dragged along by an absolute behemoth ? Probably. Regardless, the foreboding chime of the bell situated above the shop door came a lot faster than anticipated. 

It was cramped inside that dingy little shop; Miguel had to duck his head slightly to avoid hitting his head on the rotted timber making up the rafters of the store. You spied a few rifles and several flintlocks mounted on spikes behind the counter where the hunched-over owner sat reading over this week's papers. 

To your left were multiple variations of daggers and swords. You whistled appreciatively at the gleam of an intricately crafted sabre; if you had funds to throw away, you’d replace the sword at your hip with it. 

“You look around and find something that’s comfortable for you,” you disentangled yourself from him in favour of moving closer to the reflective cutlass. It wouldn’t hurt to pick it up, and it was certainly comfortable in your palm. You ran your thumb along the hilt approvingly; the tough leather wrapping it would mould to the user’s palm over time, while still retaining its long-lasting properties. 

The delicate etchings on the pommel of the sword reminded you of the patterns on the disc at your neck. A pang of regret shot through you after you gently placed the sword back down in the case. Not today . It looked to be worth a dozen silver coins, and your thinning purse did not boast of such wealth. 

You wiped your hands on your pants and looked around. Miguel was already at the counter testing the weights of different handguns. Compared to that colossus, the weapons looked like trinkets that children would receive as toys. For him, a heavier model would be a good fit; he’d definitely be capable of handling the recoil, and the added size would be more comfortable to wrap his hands around. 

“Hey,” you placed your flintlock on the counter to show the owner. “Any larger models of this pistol?”

She eyed the pistol contemplatively, gazing at the etched model number on the side. “If I remember correctly, there’s one in the back. They’re not too uncommon.”

She nudged the door behind her open, slipping off her stool to rummage around in the dim closet. 

“The larger model’s heavier and should be more comfortable for you,” you explained, shoving the gun back into its holster. 

“Thanks,” Miguel’s gaze swept over you, then to the little corner you were standing at. He jabbed a thumb in that general direction. “Get that sword you were looking at earlier.”

“Are you sure?” you furrowed your brow. “I think the gun should be enough for you-”

“It’s for you ,” he interjected. He looked away from you - if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was shy . His tone left no room to argue. It left a slight fluttering in your stomach, as if tiny little moths had suddenly hatched. “Didn’t I tell you to expect to be repaid?”

You felt that unbearable warmth in your stomach again. You couldn’t help it; your arms had already thrown themselves around his waist. He stiffened slightly, but relaxed into your hold.

“Thanks,” you whispered. A strange guilt started getting acquainted with the poor little moths in your stomach. “You really don’t have to.”

“I do,” he replied firmly. His arms slipped around you hesitantly, and he gave an experimental squeeze with his arms. Had he never given a hug before? Then, abruptly, he let go as the clatter from within the closet-storeroom grew louder. “Go.”

Some purchases later, and the two of you walked out of that chiming door satisfied. After some insistence, Miguel now had your previous sabre attached to his belt, alongside his holster. He now looked like a sailor , and that pleased you to no end.  

And you were practically itching to break in your new cutlass. The only use it had gotten this month was cutting up rigging and canvas; it was nothing like the musical clang of ringing metal against metal. The short length made it an industrial tool, perfect for any sailor aboard a cramped ship. 

Some haggling, some coppers, and you were left holding a small bolt of cloth and some twine. The tug of the wind against your clothes was perfect.

“Do you know why sabres like these cutlasses are a sailor’s choice of weapon?” you inquired conversationally, steering Miguel back to the beach. He looked askance at you, as if he wasn’t a total rookie when it came to weaponry. 

“We’ll come back in a bit,” you rolled your eyes. Really, did he want to try his hand at shooting when it was dusk? The ammunition he purchased at your insistence consisted of actual metal bullets, but also some cheaper, blunted pellets to use as practice. They still had the weight of the metal, but were significantly less dangerous. “As soon as you hit a few targets.” 

“To answer my question, they’re convenient for all-round situations. You can adapt them for practically anything, whether it be cutting up planks, ropes, or opponents.”

Back on the beach, you strung up some cloth squares that you had slashed with your sword. They fluttered against the eerie rock formations on the beach. Ordinarily, you’d wait until he loaded the pistol himself, but you felt impatient. You grabbed his pistol (ignoring his grunt of surprise) and clicked two pellets into place. 

After much mumbling and griping and careful instruction, he finally managed to shoot through the breezy cloth without your hands guiding him. It was clear from the get-go that his proficiency would always lie more at close range (he said as much himself, though he couldn’t deny that the pistol was certainly useful). 

Now, you tasted the aching tang of an exerted sore throat. Sure, your veins were thrumming in revelry at the profound clash of sabre against sabre, but you were growing slightly winded. No. Scratch slightly . Prolonged battles were never your forte; it was your firm belief that one-on-ones should be settled within a minute so you could move on. 

Yet, fighting not to maim or worse was proving to be annoyingly difficult.

Block. Parry. Lunge.  

When you met Miguel’s eyes, it was made abundantly clear that he was struggling to keep up as well. Just disarm him . Easy for you to say . Your mind devolved into a cyclic argument that was broken and taken up again with every strong clang of his sabre against yours. His upper body was ridiculously powerful; your only counter was your experience and technique. 

Adapt . 

You mustered up whatever reserves of stamina you had left. Like hell you’d be defeated by some total Sword Newbie. It wasn’t stamina at that point; it was pure, unadulterated spite coursing through every single one of your capillaries. Pretend he’s insulted your captain . 

“How dare you,” you muttered, before launching attack after attack with renewed fervour. Sweat tinged the cold, clean air of the abandoned beach with a warm, salty aroma. Miguel stumbled back in what appeared to be an amalgamation of surprise, exhaustion, and a healthy dose of caution. You couldn’t blame him; after all, it had been roughly four minutes of non-stop thinking and fighting. It was like a workout from the depths of a pickled hell.

And you were one stubborn pirate.  

Your ethics did not play a part when you absolutely Capitalised and Took Advantage of that momentary lapse in defence. You weren’t going to take it easy (not at all ), even against a Total Rookie. As he stepped backwards, you stepped in to finish the job and managed to catch your pommel on his blade to shove it out of his hand.  

“Good job,” you took a minute to crouch in the sand and rock back and forth to stave off the pounding headache. The nasty queasiness of over-exertion was currently having a blast in your stomach. Drink . Where was your juice? The familiar tan-coloured waterskin was lying nearby, but you couldn’t muster up the strength to get back up. Not yet. 

“Could you get me that skin?” you heaved, jabbing your finger in its direction. Miguel looked  far less sweaty and sticky than you currently felt; you couldn’t help feeling envious. He passed you the skin and you swilled the tart berry juice down your throat. Fuck . You leaned your head back appreciatively. Truly, the cool juice left you feeling like a Brand New Pirate.

You swiped your tongue over your lips to catch any stray drops escaping your eager mouth. When you looked up at Miguel, his brows were lifted in curiosity. Does he want some ? Were you going to be the one to introduce him to human food? The beginnings of glee were slowly dawning upon you (what if you fed him some sour fruit or spicy dishes? Were you that cruel?).

“Want some?” you uncorked the waterskin and passed it to him. It was extremely amusing to watch him take tentative sips of the drink. It was even more amusing watching his expression go through the stages of surprise, appreciation, and bewilderment. 

“It’s,” he trailed off, licking his lips in a mirror of your actions. His brows were furrowed with a pleasant puzzlement, as if he hadn’t expected your drink of choice to be so interesting . He looked as if he was contemplating the very meaning of life. “Alright.”

“Just alright?” you teased. If his version of alright was having a profound revelation, then yeah, maybe he was alright . “You looked as if you just had an epiphany.”

“Fine,” he scowled at you, though you didn’t detect actual annoyance in the set of his lips. “It’s good.”

You could take that. Even if his words were lacklustre, you knew he enjoyed sharing the drink. It was like an indirect kiss, you realised; your heartbeat began to grow more pronounced at the thought. 

“You hungry?” you blurted out. The depraved pounding of your pulse was pierced with the welcome rumbling of your stomach. Perfect . Truly, you were born for the stage. 

“I could go with a meal,” he admitted, swivelling round to watch the waters. “Do you want me to catch some haddock or some oysters?” 

“What?” you frowned. It didn’t surprise you to know he was constantly eating fish, but still . “No, we’re going into town for food.”

He looked like he was about to protest, but you cut him off. “You’re going to need to be able to consume human food with utensils if you want to fit in.”

Those protesting lips shut up. 

“I know a great spot,” you promised. 

The inn looked a lot more lively than you remembered. It seemed like your new friend had managed to pick up more business; something you appreciated, since it would allow you to talk more with Miguel under the cover of chatter. 

“Two bowls, hunter’s stew,” you grinned, placing down four coppers on the polished bench. The lines around the innkeeper’s face had softened into a beaming expression at your appearance. He took three coppers and left you the fourth.

“A discount for my favourite customer,” he turned to the pots of stew behind him, effectively ignoring your protests. The familiar richness of the meat’s aroma flooded your nose and your stomach once again rumbled. 

“The stew’s really good,” you commented offhandedly to Miguel, keeping your eyes on the innkeeper. And damn , was he piling up the stew in those gargantuan bowls. You could already feel your mouth watering at the astringent scent of the pickled cabbage. 

“I believe you,” Miguel leaned towards you to reply; it seemed he was also fixated on the size of those bowls. When the innkeep turned around, he had placed not four, but five slices of that dark bread on the side. Marriage . Now . 

“Enjoy,” he cheerily pushed the tray towards you. You eagerly grasped the handles and thanked him. Boy , were you eating well tonight. The two of you settled into a cozy area in the back of the main room; it had a full view of the front door, but still offered an air of privacy. 

“So,” you scooped some stew onto your spoon, letting it cool down naturally. You eyed Miguel contemplatively as he tried to mimic your actions. You wracked your brains on how to approach your curiosity. No, at this point, it couldn’t be considered mere curiosity. If you were to work with Miguel and help him out, you were owed a sufficient explanation. “Care to answer some of my questions?”

You took a bite of bread and shoved the spoon in your mouth to wait for his response. Just as you resigned yourself to not getting answers, you heard him exhale. 

“I owe you that much,” he winced as the too-hot stew scalded his tongue. 

“Careful,” you reached over the table separating the two of you to pass him the water bottle. “Blow on it for a bit before you eat.”

“Got it,” he replied sheepishly. His face contorted slightly at the acidic taste of the stew, before settling into an expression of satisfaction at the hearty flavour of the game and bread. “This is good .”

“Told you,” the warmth in your stomach started lulling you into a sleepy daze. Focus . You leaned forward with an elbow on the table, gazing intently at the enigma before you. 

“I’m assuming you left out some very convenient details about what your duties on land entail?” you inquired, soaking a chunk of bread in the stew before taking a large bite. 

“That’s correct.”

“You’re doing the dirty work to protect your home,” you probed. A sharp intake of air. 

“You’ve got it figured out,” he swiped a nail through his bread slices; two neat piles of halves were left on his plate. “You aren’t as gullible as you seem.”

Ordinarily, you’d be insulted. If Lyla was here, you’d call him a fiend with an affronted gasp. But here, shrouded in the dim lamps of a shady little inn, you understood . His business was his business, and it was already a miracle that you were getting him to divulge that. 

“I know,” you bit into a fried sausage slice. The salt cut into the haze brought about by the warmth. “Sudden technology develops out of desperation. Is there something happening?”

His heavy gaze on you confirmed your suspicions, unspoken. 

“There’s been a recent disturbance in deep sea monsters and human activity in their sleeping areas,” he admitted. You sensed a continuation. “Plus, there have been hunters gathering en masse. Numerous pods have forwarded concerns that there were several traitors amongst them giving out their locations to hunters.”

“Traitors?” you frowned. 

“As much as I hate to admit it-” and boy , did he look annoyed. “-the technology that’s allowed me to come onto land isn’t exclusive. It’s old magic that chooses the being. I was lucky and managed to shape it into this gizmo to control the transformation, among other things.” 

One heartbeat. Two. He leaned forward. A warning.

“There are others, just like me,” he scowled. “Those who can shed their tails. They aren’t too common, but it’s become enough of a problem when they turn traitor and betray their pods. There’s only been two reports so far, thankfully.”

“So, you’re finding them?” 

“You could say that,” he leaned back, copying your actions of piling stew on bread and taking a bite. His eyes fluttered shut to savour the sour taste; you suppressed a snort of laughter at his lowered guard. 

“Is there anyone you’re currently looking for?” an innocuous question. Truly, you didn’t think much of it. 

“As a matter of fact, yes,” he let out a deep groan of frustration, reaching for the skin of berry-juice next to you and taking a swig. Your eyebrows raised in surprise at his change in demeanour ( was he growing accustomed to you? ), but you decided to keep your mouth shut. 

“I received intel from Lyla and Jessica that our anomalous little mer was hiding out here, actually,” he seethed; you could hear his back molars grinding in annoyance. 

“Someone from your pod?” you washed the stew down with some juice. 

“No,” he replied firmly. His eyes shone with distaste at the notion. “He went rogue a while back from some other pod. He’s been masquerading as a sailor for some moons, feeding information to hunters for some coin .”

He uttered the words with unadulterated disgust. By now, his hands were shaking with barely concealed fury, and you had a feeling this went a lot deeper than duty . 

“I’ve got reasons to believe he’s the one who got me entangled with those hunters.”

You understood. It wasn’t a matter of simply uncovering and getting rid of threats anymore. No, this ran deeper; it was a lot more personal. Someone had deliberately sold Miguel out. 

“Bastard,” you commented, shovelling another spoonful into your maw; it earned you a wry little exhale from him. A comfortable silence settled over the two of you, broken only by the staccato beats of cutlery against porcelain and the sound of muffled talking. 

“Need any help in tracking him down?” you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, before reaching over to tear off another chunk of bread from your plate. 

In the dim light of the wall-sconces, deep shadows etched themselves into his face. His lips were stained with the deep maroon of the stew; you suppressed a slight shiver at the reminder of blood. 

“I wouldn’t mind the help,” he conceded, licking the excess juice off his lips. It sealed the deal. However are we supposed to do this in the space of tomorrow ? The question remained unspoken.

You still had a day; the grains of sand in your hourglass had not yet trickled out completely. 

And for another day, you’d have company. For better or for worse.

[altschmerzes]

and it’s that time of year again!

that time of year that means it’s now been seven years since i ended my relationship with my father entirely and went no-contact with him. this is an anniversary that is difficult to mark but it’s one i make a point to celebrate, and to celebrate publicly. this is because every year it is a fight that i am proud of winning to keep that man out of my life and because, and maybe this is self-important of me, but because it seems to me that it might be valuable to somebody else struggling with going nc with a parent or contemplating doing so to know that it’s possible and i don’t regret it.

and it IS hard. it was absolutely vital for me to cut him out the way i did after a lifetime of pain and grief and fear thanks to his actions and abuse, but that was far from easy or a simple path. because of being pressured by everyone around me, lectured and shamed about the value of forgiveness and second chances and whatnot, i made an attempt to reconnect with him as a teenager and it was universally a detrimental experience for me. it was horrible, it backfired, and i wish i had never done it. after finally getting up the nerve to cut him off, i have endured constant and ever-increasing pressure from the family i still speak to for complicated reasons - my parents and my sister - who want me to forgive him and get past it. they all have a relationship with him now and see him regularly. it’s clear that they see me as an unreasonable person determined to hold a grudge and make everything complicated and messy for everyone else, and it would be so much better if i would just grow up and be the bigger person and Heal Enough to just forgive him already. i refuse to. i tried that, and it made everything worse for me, and im not willing to do that to myself again.

this year it was further complicated by the fact that he suffered a significant stroke. even so, i didnt budge and i never will. he lost his right to have access to me, no matter the state of his health, no matter how much it hurts to lose me, no matter how much the rest of my family wants me to Let It Go.

i deserve the right to a healthy and safe life, free of the presence of an abusive nightmare of a father. i deserve to make that decision and celebrate how hard it has been to make and keep making every day of the seven years since, without shame or punishment from those around me. it’s okay to decide someone has lost their right to have anything to do with you permanently. if that’s a choice you’ve had to make, im sorry and im proud of you. if that’s a choice you’re considering making, im sorry it’s come to this and it’s okay. you deserve to be free.

[alchemic-writings]

A Welcome Distraction Chapter 1

Modern AU Mhin/Reader. Updates will be posted sooner on ao3 @/panichoodie

Story will be 18+

Three months ago you broke up with your partner of five years and now have no idea what to do with your life. You wish someone else could make decisions for you in life. When your friends suggest finding a dom to find direction in life, you would have never expected to discover the hot dom you found online to be your distant coworker.

A deep sigh leaves my lips as I slam the shot glass down against the bar. The vodka burns but it’s good. That means I can still feel. “God, sparrow, you need to slow down a bit. We’re here to have fun, not to forget.” There’s Ais, somehow being the voice of reason after insisting we have shots the second we walked up to the bar. “C’mon Icy, getting blackout drunk is how you have fun!” And there’s the second devil on my shoulder, Vere. I let out a deep sigh as I lowered my head down onto the counter. 

We’ve been going out to this same shitty bar every week since I broke up with my ex, Quinn, three months ago. Even though I never regretted my decision, I’ve now realized how I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. All my plans followed them. I had nothing for myself and I began feeling more like their shadow. 

Vere continued to list off his ideas of “fun” while I continued my depressing monologue. It wasn’t until they used my back to rest both of his elbows up and cup his own face did I tune into his words again, “And, we need to get you laid! When was your last hookup anyways?” A blush rose to my cheeks as I glared at him, “You two know exactly when my last hookup was.” Vere looked at me with wide eyes before leaning back to begin cackling hysterically. I used the lack of weight on my back to sit up again, I turned to my other side and saw Ais giving me a shit-eating grin, assholes. “HAHAHA oh my god! You’re telling me you haven’t slept with anyone since our shitty threesome three months ago?” 

I put my face in my hands and groaned. The first weekend after my breakup us three went out for drinks just like this. I got completely hammered and when Vere and Ais were getting ready to leave I begged them to stay with me. My apartment was so cold now without Quinn and I didn’t want to be alone. The sex was going as well as three people on a queen sized mattress could have until I started sobbing so hard I threw up. Ais helped clean me up and lay me down to sleep and I vowed to never sleep with those two again out of sheer embarrassment. Sadly the two have never let me live down said embarrassment by giving me the nickname Chunks. 

“Vere, they don’t have to fuck away the pain like you do. Maybe they just need time to let themselves breathe on their own. Don’t force yourself to sleep around if you don't want to, ok?…” I lift my head up to smile at Ais. He can be an ass but he can also be sweet, “… Chunks…”, nevermind. Assholes. Both of them. I slam my hands down on the counter and begin to sit up, “If you two are going to laugh at my sex life all night, I’ll be leaving.” 

Before I am able to stand, Vere wraps an arm around my shoulders to force me back down. “We’re only teasing, MC! You should be using this time to do things you could never do with your bore of an ex!” I hummed in contemplation. There were lots of things I had given up to match Quinn’s lifestyle. One of the few that I didn’t was taking pole dancing classes, which led me to meeting Vere and eventually Ais as well. The taller man spoke up as well at Vere’s suggestion, “Yeah, sparrow, wasn’t that the whole reason you broke up with them in the first place? Why aren’t you doing what you want?” 

I think back to my past three months. Despite breaking up with Quinn because I wanted to change who I became for them, the only thing that I’ve done differently was that almost threesome. I finally respond, “Well, I guess it’s because I have no fucking idea what I want to do now. I was always Quinn’s Partner. I just wish I could have someone else pick something for me sometimes.” There’s a spark in Vere’s eyes when I finish my sentence, “You know,” Vere purrs, “you could always look into finding a dom to make those decisions for you.” I blush at the suggestion. 

Vere and Ais are both active in bdsm. They actually introduced the concept of a dom/sub dynamic to me and I was very interested. But when I suggested it to Quinn it got shot down as soon as I asked. “We don’t need all that fancy stuff in the bedroom, babe. You’ve been enjoying our sex, right?”  Which I had been! But bdsm sounded like… a treat. Something you don’t have everyday but when you do you love it. 

But after the past three months of being lost while going through the motions at work and drinking on the weekends, Vere’s suggestion feels like a need. Having someone tell me what to do could help quiet my thoughts long enough to finally get over my breakup…

I let out a long breath as the idea of finding a dom becomes more and more desirable. “Even if I wanted to find one… How on earth would I do that? Just walk around with a sign that says ‘please dominate me’?” A grin grows on Vere’s face at my solution as he responds, “As much as I want to say yes to your suggestion, I feel sorry for you and will actually help you.” Ais speaks up behind us, “Wow, you’re being helpful, Vere? This must be serious.” Vere’s eyes flit to Ais, “You’ve seen how depressing they’ve been for the past three months. Getting them a dom will be helpful for all of us.” 

A chuckle leaves my lips as I look down at my hands. Despite how many walls these two put up and how annoying they can be, they truly care about me. My head turns back up to Vere, “So, how do I do this then?” “Well, this might be a little too high tech for you but there are these things called apps where you can find people who want the same thing as you online.” I roll my eyes, “I know what a social app is, fuckwad, tell me which one.” Ais gives a hum in contemplation as he pulls out his own phone. “There’s a pretty good amount out there, but the best one for a newbie like you would probably be ‘Collared’. Pretty user friendly.” He slides his phone across the counter towards me and I peer at the screen in front of me. It uses a distance radius to filter users into certain groups where you can start discussion threads and has a private messages feature as well. I hum in agreement and pull out my own phone to search for the app but I’m stopped when Vere steals my phone, “Ah ah ah, dear! I don’t trust you to make your own profile.” I reach out to try to grab my phone from his grip, “What do you mean you don’t trust me? I just have to put some information in and it’s done!” A tug on my shirt pulls me backwards as Ais speaks up, “I dunno, sparrow. You’ve been out of the social pool for a long time and you’ve never been with a dom before. At least let us help you get started.” 

My shoulders slump as I admit defeat. It’s true that I haven’t even winked at someone for the past five years, so making my own profile would probably result in scarring anyone in a 30 mile radius. Vere’s smirk grows as he pockets my phone and stands up, “Already playing the submissive role so well! Keep this up and we’ll find you a dom in no time.” He turns and begins walking towards the front of the bar, thus missing the daggers shooting from my eyes as Ais and I stand up to follow him outside. 

It isn’t until I take a deep breath of the cool night air does Vere turn back towards the two of us, “Let’s spend the night at my place tonight. We’ll be able to work on your profile and set up some cute pictures as well.” We all agreed to his plan, seeing as how Vere has the biggest apartment out of the three of us and the largest collection of… clothes… that would be fitting for an app like this. 

Once we enter Vere’s apartment he immediately goes towards his walk-in wardrobe and begins to assess the collection. Vere holds up items to my body before making a face of approval or disgust, and throws all the items approved on to Ais to hold. Once Vere is satisfied with the assortment of items, he takes me into the closet and instructs me on which items to put on first. As I’m changing into barely anything I can hear the two typing on a laptop and discussing to themselves. Every few minutes one of them yells out a question from the form for me to respond to, but my answers are quickly vetoed and they type something they deem as “sexier”. 

I step out once I’ve finished changing, and I receive a wolf whistle from Ais and a proud smirk from Vere in response. As I awkwardly shuffle from side to side a squeak is made by the rubbing of the latex underwear. Vere had given me an all black attire; a corset top, a pair of latex underwear, and a garter belt with thigh high stockings. Ais stands up and begins to circle me, “Hmm, you did a great job but I think they’re forgetting something.” Vere’s eyebrow twitches at his critique, “What could I have possibly missed? They look fucking hot.” Ais doesn’t respond and instead retreats into the closet himself before coming back holding a piece of leather, “a collar.” Ais stands behind me as his arms loop around my front to help secure the strip of leather around my neck. It’s a simple black piece of leather with an o-ring on the front and a buckle clap in the back, but having it secured against my neck sends a shiver down my spine. 

Ais’s hands rest on my shoulders as he leans his head against mine, “Doesn’t sparrow look like a present now waiting to be ripped open?” Vere slinks towards us and cups my cheek as he responds, “Hmm, I hate to admit it but you’re right. The collar was an excellent addition.” I awkwardly laugh as I step to the side, removing myself from the reach of the two men. “Thanks for hyping me up, guys, but aren’t we supposed to be setting up my profile?...” They both shared a look before laughing. Ais is the first one to speak up, “You are so easy to fluster, sparrow. You’re definitely gonna find a dom by the end of the night.” Vere pulls out his phone as gestures to the bed, “Get up there so I can take some pictures. Don’t worry about how to pose, I’ll tell you.” 

After thirty minutes of blushing while being told how to position my body, Vere seemed satisfied with the pictures taken and dropped them to his laptop so we could choose the best ones for my profile. After adding a few pictures to my gallery we finally settled on which one will be my profile picture. It's a picture of me sitting up on the bed with my legs bent in front of me and one finger looped around the ring of the collar. My head was cropped out of it “for your safety and to make you seem mysterious,” explained Ais. Vere was next as he shooed Ais away to take his place in front of the laptop and began a new thread on the forum. 

[DreadfulHands Started a New Thread]  [1:10 am]

Hiiii everyone! I’m a sub that’s new to bdsm after leaving my loser ex of 5 years! I’m local to Eridia and I’m looking for a dom that can really show me the ropes ;) 

Vere sat back crossing his arms with a pleased smile on his face. I stared at the screen in horror until I heard a snort to my left. Ais was biting his lip to keep the laughter down but his grin betrayed him. These assholes! I reach over to delete the paragraph before Vere catches my hand. We have a stare down before I attempt again with the other and this leads us to begin fighting for control of the other's hands. I’m almost able to reach the keyboard until I’m lifted in the air by Ais, whose arms are wrapped around my torso. In a state of panic I kick my legs out, and end up accidentally sending the laptop tumbling to the carpeted floor. “What the fuck Chunks!” Vere sits up to pick up his laptop and assess the damage. Anger boils in my veins, “What the fuck to me? You’re the one trying to make me sound like a sex bot!” Vere rolls his eyes as he responds, “It was just a joke, I wasn’t actually going to-” he stops himself as he stares at the screen. 

A heavy silence fills the room as we wait for Vere to continue. Ais slowly sets me down as he begins to walk towards Vere, “What did you do?”. As Ais now looks at the screen another pause fills the room. Anxiety fills me as I walk over to them and turn my head so I can see what’s wrong.

[Forum Thread Created 1 min ago] [27 Views] [3 comments] 

Another silence falls as all three of us stare at the screen… “Technically you were the one that kicked my laptop so you posted it yourself…” I snap out of my shock and turn to Vere, “I don’t fucking care who posted it! Just delete it before too many people see it!” Ais lays a hand on my shoulder and shakes his head, “That’s the one drawback about Collared, you can’t delete threads unless you’re a mod.” I sink to the floor and put my face into my hands and sigh, “Maybe I’m not meant for this…” Vere sets the laptop to the side and sinks down with me, “Don’t be like that! Maybe someone will find your sex bot attitude sexy and want to still be with you! I know there are plenty of desperate losers on there that-” Vere is cut off by a notification sound, several to be exact. We turn back to the laptop and click on the notifications. 

[1:11 am] [LatexBookworm commented on your post: “Welcome to the community! :D”]

[1:13 am] [Melvin78 commented on your post: “Very nice…”]

[1:13 am] [xxbl00dwh0r3xx commented on your post: “r u into bloodplay??”]

Ais lets out a chuckle, “Well, maybe that post wasn’t so bad after all…” We all let out a chuckle before another notification popped up. 

[1:14 am] [(MOD) StarRaven sent you a private message]

I let out a sigh of relief at the notification, “A mod! I can just ask them to delete that thread and we can redo a proper introduction.” I click on the notification to lead me to the private message board

[1:14 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

Are you stupid?

[anunkindncss]

Plots I am actively wanting thanks to my Spotify playlist.

Back To December: Muse A has commitment issues, that much has been obvious since they left Muse B in the background. But sometimes, we all have to take a look back and wonder what if we'd made the wrong decision? So Muse A comes back to town to sit down with Muse B and try to have a conversation, a real one. But Muse B isn't letting go that easily, and has a chain on the door of their heart. Angst. Pain. Makeup? Move on? Who knows.

Johnny Can't Decide: Muse A feels like they are on the absolute brink of success (actor/musician/songwriter/etc.) but Muse B is ready for real life to begin. Muse A has some tough calls to make because what Muse B has planned doesn't involve late nights, little money, and the starving artist image. The way it stands, Muse A can either keep fighting for their passions, which may have them lose Muse B entirely, or walk away from these big dreams and decide that maybe, just maybe the life Muse B has in their mind is a future too hard to walk away from.

I'm Still Here: Muse A has always been invisible, in their own mind. They have lived nearly the entirety of their life struggling to find their place in the world when one day they bump into Muse B who doesn't just glance over them. Wanting to know more, to understand Muse A, Muse B begins trying to step into their world. For once, Muse A allows the doors to fall down and finds that with company, you can do just about anything. Support is the foundation for dreams coming true. (Can be platonic/romantic).

Help (tw: addiction, suicidal ideation, PTSD): Due to Muse A having an addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.) from a secondary reasoning (domestic abuse, Post War PTSD, Traumatic PTSD, etc.) Muse A has begun to finally hit bottom... And realizes they don't want to do this anymore. Muse B (former friend/lover/family member) gets a call one night from a number they don't know hearing Muse A sob on the other end. Sometimes bottom is the only way up.

Small Bump (tw: miscarriage, death): Muse A and Muse B are the most excited to be parents. Muse A works dutifully to ensure that Muse B's pregnancy will be happy, healthy, and most of all, safe. But life comes with 0 guarantees as one day Muse B wakes up to no movement, no kicking, no fuss. Worried, they see the doctor and some of the worst news in the world is presented. Miscarriages can often make or break the strongest of relationships. Muse A and Muse B have to figure out how to navigate this tidal wave of grief. The real question? Can they do it together? Or apart?

Traveling Soldier: Muse A has readily enlisted in the Army/Navy/Marines/Air Force. The day before he is to be deployed, on a leave, he finds himself wandering this small town. In a diner, getting his last good meal in before the long journey ahead, he meets Muse B, a diner waiter/waitress just trying to make enough money to get to college while busting their tail to make great tips. Muse A starts small talk before revealing what they've planned and Muse B, floored because they'd never even thought of that route and knowing what they've read in the news, promises Muse A a night to remember (can be platonic/romantic). Morning comes and Muse A finds themselves regretting their choice to serve, but honoring it under one condition. That Muse B allows them to write letters. They agree, and Muse A ships off, sending letters home to the one person they can't wait to get back to.

Swing Life Away: Muse A and Muse B ran off from home very young, knowing little about one another outside of the fact that they both left tough situations. They'd met at the bus stop and just started spilling everything over a warm cup of coffee shared by someone who could recognize another exhausted soul. As they begin to figure out where they want to land, they decide to do it together. They find a beat up old house with one promising feature. A porch swing. It's not a perfect life, but it's the start of something that pushed them past the past that left them with scars.

You're Too Close: Muse A has never been great at expressing how they feel. Especially when it comes to Muse B, who just looks at Muse A as a good friend. Until their college graduation night when Muse A drunkenly confesses everything. How they've been feeling, how much they care. Drunk, themselves, Muse B takes the confession as a green light to drunkenly begin to hook up, when Muse A stops them and tells them they will... but only once they sober up. The following morning, they're laying in bed looking at one another and Muse B wonders why Muse A never said anything. Whether this leads to something beginning or an awkward air? Time will tell.